#including favorite joking memes but not really a joke save him

[slythereen]

see. i’m really amused to see mercedes charles taking over f1twt because it shows the masses understand our struggle. BUT…

i’m already overly loyal to rbr charles and i am Actively Dismayed to see merc charles currently prevailing🧍🏼‍♀️

[x-authorship-x]

Hi🌻💕💕💕

🍌 In your opinion, what’s the funniest joke/reference/pun you’ve made in a fic?

🍐 Is there anything in canon that you absolutely hate and love to fix in fics? A wrong choice made, a fuck-up in characterization, a misunderstanding never cleared up, a conversation never shown onscreen, etc…

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

Hi Sisdiss 🥰

🍌 I don't know if I've really cracked joke-jokes, I usually prefer ludicrous scenarios in the body text and then A/N memes afterwards, but.... Favourite silly situation is Squad Two's night out drinking in No Tomorrow and favourite A/N joke is, in Until Dawn Breaks, when I cracked jokes about Ao and Shisui's dynamic (imagining Shisui fleeing Kiri with the Scooby Doo chase music over the top lmao) but it's a very close competition with everything Akira has ever said lol

(I forgot the oneshot Coffee Shop AU where Genma is very cringe when hitting on Shisui and Kakashi... This one probably wins for the joke lines)

🍐(the entire mess of Narutoverse canon and timelines?) well, I'm a repeat offender for saving Shisui's life but, more broadly, I love to actually break down a particular character's motivations, actions and abilities and think 'okay but how would these events REALLY play out now?' and then fuck around and find out 😂

🍈 OKAY toot toot Shisui-centric alert! Blorbo rant incoming~

Shisui is just.... Amazing. If you have a short list of the shared characteristics of Amazing Characters, someone being genuinely loyal, having integrity, and keeping hope is just.... Yes. Double points for being a sweetheart with horrible trauma and angsty obligations to both system and clan!

Shisui has, frankly, the worst Mangekyou ability because it's also the strongest and the scariest (at least with Itachi you know you're being tortured, Kotoamatsukami has very scary ramifications for reality and free will). Don't come for me with a list of the others (Shisui never actually uses Kotoamatsukami in canon and yet he's at THAT level with his genjutsu and speed? Kamui, Izanagi, etc etc, are OP and versatile but Kotoamatsukami is literally unstoppable and unbreakable and untraceable and if Kishi didn't make that stupid, nonsense rule about 'ten years' and didn't kill off Shisui when he realised just how insanely OP he'd made Kotoamatsukami, then Shisui would literally be the top Uchiha EVER) because I can whip out a thesis defence of how terrifying Kotoamatsukami is (ten years after one use is BULLSHIT and we're ignoring it) and how I literally would never trust any other character than Shisui with that ability (including Itachi, because he's proven an alarming propensity for following orders without thinking ANYTHING through - why the fuck are you trusting Danzo, who stole Shisui's eye and made him jump???? UMMM).

Uchiha are known for their eyes, if an Uchiha is powerful it's because of their eyes. Look at Itachi, his torturing genjutsu is like the Boogeyman of Narutoverse for so long, Madara and Izuna's eye angst defines them, they all play tug of war over Rinnegan and Eternal Mangekyou, Sasuke uses ninjutsu and kenjutsu only to whip his eyes out and cut the fight off at the knees, Obito literally uses Kamui as often as possible, even Kakashi is known for his borrowed Sharingan rather than Hatake or personal abilities.

...but not Shisui.

Oh, Shisui has a genuinely ridiculously powerful Sharingan but he NEVER uses THE technique. He uses regular genjutsu to scare the shit out of everyone, even sending Ao and Kiri Hunter-nin fleeing without even physically engaging with him; just the sight of Shisui watching them and a touch of his chakra is enough for Ao (THE Hunter-nin's top dog from THE Bloody Mist) to break a sweat and abandoned the mission.

Shisui is known for the Shunshin, something so basic and easy that every Genin and ninken can do it. Its like meeting someone so good at skipping rope that they can do gymnastics feats and then strangle their enemies without breaking rhythm. That takes not just natural talent but an insane level of dedication and practice. Other Shinobi use the Shunshin casually but for Shisui to be so good that THAT is his namesake and not his genjutsu... Can we just think about that for a second?

Also the fact that Shisui is prodigious enough (not even getting into my AU timeline of graduation and family relations etc) to be a role model and tutor for Itachi and, by general fandom consensus, died when he was 14-16. That means Shisui was ANBU possibly before he was 14, since he was a team leader and arguably then a Captain. This means Shisui must've been even younger when he reached Jounin, younger again when he was Chuunin, graduated possibly as early as Kakashi and Itachi did... And it's just never talked about??? Canon and fanon are OBSESSED with complicated OP characters; to draw the comparison again, Kakashi is known for his borrowed Sharingan and his Thousand Jutsu whilst Itachi is the Genius of the Uchiha with nightmare flame eyes and the ability to slaughter his entire Clan without interruption or injury (numbers possibly between several hundred and several thousand).... But Shisui is faster than Itachi and Kakashi, he's just as smart, he's more sociable and hopeful than either of them- and it genuinely flabbergasts me that he's not more hyped for it. Shisui was killed off by Kishi because he knew he Done Fucked Up with making such an amazing character and inserting him into pre-canon drama without accounting for how insane his influence and legacy would've been.

Shisui is so slept on it HURTS

Quickly scrolling back up to the ask because I've forgotten what the original question was my own headcanons for Shisui

- graduated at 6 (Kakashi is at 4, Itachi at 5) and activated his Sharingan when his parents died shortly afterwards

- Mangekyou at 8 when he was fast enough to save himself but not his Genin team

- Inoichi takes Shisui on as an apprentice. Inoichi doesn't have time for a genin team but there's an eight year old with the most psychologically and ethically fucked up Dojutsu shivering in a hospital bed and Konoha cannot afford for him to go rogue or burn out before they can benefit from him. Cue fatherhood.

- Shisui has extremely good chakra control. His genjutsu, not even Kotoamatsukami, is so powerful and yet finely woven than even Ao's stolen Byakugan couldn't see it coming OR face it directly. Shunshin seems to be using chakra to augment movement and increase speed (furiously side eyes Tsunade's strength) so Shisui's ability to be so fucking fast (he's the fastest ever Shinobi to me, Tobirama and Minato don't count because they 'jump' with seals whereas Shisui is Actually Running) that doesn't rip his limbs off or fuck him up internally must mean that his chakra use is just... Perfect. Watch me want to write a Healer!Shisui fic omfg

- he's Kagami's grandson, Mikoto's nephew

- summoning chakra has life altering effects on human chakra (Inuzuka ninken across generations as exhibit A) so Shisui and Itachi have some very subtle (and more obvious) bird instincts (including that amazing ability to retrace their steps without checking the stars, maps, a compass, or knowing the exact directions)

- Kagami was ambassador to Uzushio. I love this one because it lays a great foundation for Mikoto and Kushina's friendship and it also adds depth to Shisui's Feelings about Konoha and loyalty

- Shisui is in an ANBU Squad (usually Squad Two) with Kakashi, Genma, Raidou, and Tenzo... Why? Because I love them, your Honour. Also it's a great range of abilities, personalities and they all have different reasons to be feral loyal to each other and Konoha

- Shisui is amazing with kids. He is simultaneously the meme of carrying the kid by their leg (Sasuke) and cuddling them in a blanket (Itachi). Look at how amazing he was with Shy Baby Itachi? Shisui is the very very sensitive and gentle and warming ambivert friend who adopts every single introvert he meets (Tenzo, Itachi, Kakashi) and is in turn adopted by extroverts (Genma, Ino, Gai)

- his ANBU alias is Monkey. I picked this animal because I didn't want anything too obscure or obvious (Crow, Raven, Cat, etc) and then I liked the idea that he can wiggle out of everything, it's a little bit wise and a little bit humourous and a little bit Uncanny Valley. Now, I can't not make Shisui into ANBU Monkey 😅

- He's too good for this world. Wait that's not a headcanon that's just fact 🤭

Thanks for playing, this was really fun!!

[bxrningembers]

Sir Pentious Headcanons moved from my main blog.

Food questions for the Muse(s) 🍝 - Can you cook? If yes, when and how did you learn to cook? 💊 - Any food allergies? 🍛 - What’s your favourite kind of restaurant? Italian, Chinese, Greek, etc.?

🍝: No. Put it this way, Fizzaroli jokes about burning the milk, He’s actually done it. How this man managed to feed himself with out someone’s help is a mystery. This oddly does not apply to brewing tea and drinks.

💊: None.

🍛: Japanese or Spanish. Sorta a tie between the two.

🍑 - Favorite fruit, 🎵- Favorite song, 💤 - Do they like sleeping in or waking up early?

🍑: Apples.

🎵: Pretty much anything by Schubert. (And yes, he does know how to play).

💤: Like all snakes, Pentious enjoys his beauty sleep.

All the Little Things Meme

💐 - Favorite type of flower

🔎 - Random detail about them

👶 - As a kid, what were they like?

🍙 - Favorite snack

💀 - What are they afraid of?

💐: Jasmine vines, though he likes roses too.

🔎: Sir Pentious has multiple eyes on his body, including on his top hat. These eyes will always show his true feelings.

👶: As a child, Elaphe was a bit of a snobbish brat, being raised in a rich home. He didn’t have a lot of friends but desperately wanted them. He was the sort of kid that was secretly very sensitive but was a brat because he didn’t have any real friends, and his parents didn’t have time for him. So he tended to act out as a result.

🍙: Deviled Eggs. His love for eatting eggs didn’t start in Hell ether.

💀: Being alone. He made the Egg bois sentient for this reason.

Sexual headcanons & questions

4. what are some features of others that arouse them, or they find arousing in a sexual situation?

5. what are their most common turn-ons? 6. what are some more situational or contextual turn-ons? 10. do they indulge in masturbation or personal fantasies?

4. He’s a bit odd in that he doesn’t find a well-endowed female figure as appealing as someone with more modest curves. In men, he likes a man who is taller than him and more lanky in frame. Though being victorian, he is more discreet about his male attractions. He is an old romantic, so arousing situations are romantic scenes like fancy balls and strolls through his flower garden.

5. The touches to the base of his tail. Factually, this is where a snake’s peen is located hidden under a special scale. This is not the case for Pentious, but this area has the same level of sensitivity and arousal capability. I also mentioned that his head fin-hair is sensitivity, too. In a more mental sense, he is turned on by good manners, etiquette, and people with a strong will that don’t let hell or it’s environment change who they are. Propping him up and stroke his ego also turns him on.

6. Saving or helping him with no personal gain that he can see. Letting him dominate when you are the stronger/more powerful of the two.

10. Yes, to both. He isn’t above visiting a brothel or one of Valentinos’ many establishments to indulge in sexual pleasure if he really needs it. Usually, he will rub one out on his own, though.

14. how open are they, or how do they feel about sexual experimentation? elaborate if needed. 15. what is something they consider a kink of their own? 

14. He is unused to it but unopposed to it. As a victorian era man, such permisuity and non-monogamy couplings were demonized. The fact that he IS a demon palpable to the idea and would be willing to try it with people he trusts.

15. Ovation. The man secretly wants a family, and it has developed into an egg kink. >,> Don’t judge him.

Bedtime meme

🌅 - Have they ever pulled an all-nighter? If so, what do they do to stay awake?

Sir Pentious

This is fairly frequent due to him either educating himself on technology or designing and building mechs and weapons. Pentious isn’t a big coffee person and will opt for strong black teas when he works into the night.

What non-sexual act of foreplay most turns them on?

His headfins (hair) are very delicate and sensitive to touch, so strokes to it feel very nice. You’re likely to get a delighted shiver out of him if you touch them.

💭 + food habits

Sir Pentious is very proper at the dinner table. No elbows on the table, takes his time to eat properly, that sort of thing. Basically manners at a big deal, and he takes them seriously. The only exception is with eggs. Something about his serpentine nature kicks in and overpowers his more logical side, and he will consume them in a more primal manner.

Sir Pentious, hc + Routine

As a Victorian era demon, Sir Pentious has a lot of habits that he has retained from that era. His morning routine is a fairly early morning where he grooms and dresses himself for the day, making sure his looks prime, proper, and presentable before even leaving his room. This is followed by a light breakfast with tea, usually a black tea with rose petals but rarely any sugar or milk in his dining room. He usually reads up on the usual news and gossip while having breakfast. Afterward, he tends to his dental hygiene and checking for early signs of mouth rot (a common issue that snakes encounter) and gets started with anything else he has planned for the day from there. His morning routine is pretty normal but also methodical. He always does things in this order each morning.

[sho-minamimoto]

6 20 23 Sho

1 7 8 23 Shiba!

Sho

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Hmm.... hard to say since Sho is just. completely batshit. I guess the easiest and most obvious answer would be that we're both artists and like to find beauty in aesthetically strange things. But I dont think i have a single thing in common with him personality wise LOL

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

I think susukichi and sho have extremely similar temperaments + quirks and if they weren't on opposite sides of The Conflict they'd get along great. I said once before that Susukichi would be the Sho Minamimoto of NEO if sho literally wasn't also already in the game. Their vibes are super similar and they both want to have a fun time.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

This one marketing image from when the anime was airing is the funniest thing in the world to me. like. why the fuck is sho even here. he is in no way buddies with anyone in the hachiko gang (during this specific timeframe anyways) there is literally NO logical reason for him to be posed alongside this specific group of characters here. This image from sho's pov is just him + guy hes actively trying to kill + guy he's stalking only bc he's joined at the hip with the guy he's trying to kill + guy he met twice and beat the shit out of one of those times + 2 people he's never met or interacted with before ever. On a marketing level its clear they just wanted to include him with the main characters simply bc hes a super popular character among fans but it's makes for the most unintentionally hilarious image ever.

Shiba

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

First. he's extremely funny and dresses like a harlot. Second THE LAYERSSSS Shiba's primary motivation is like a puzzle that the narrative gives you all the pieces to and then invites you to solve. Not in that the game doesn't tell you what it is At All, it says as much that he's on a powertrip towards ascension, but it's difficult to wrap your head around Why until you deliberately examine and unravel each of his relationships with the other shinjuku reapers: how they affected him, what their side of the story is, why they're emotionally estranged but still sticking together, etc. I enjoy that you have to take the time to put it together yourself, but also the full picture you get once that puzzle is complete is one that i enjoy immensely. The fact that the core of shiba's plight is rooted in his relationships (or lack thereof) is very true to the spirit of twewy and I greatly appreciate that they applied all this to the game's main villain AND gave him a chance for redemption on top of it. His final scene is one of my favourites in the game and really sticks with me.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

The memes. Shiba's so easy to meme on its great. I have a folder of shiba memes on my desktop whenever i see a new shitpost or edit i Have to save it. im glad he gets clowned on so hard. Shi Basuks Cok lives in my head rent free. I wish shiba's va did small comms like I've seen other voice actors do sometimes bc i would pay him money to hear him voice act that post as Shiba for real. But i can dream

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

I know i like Just finished talking abt how much i love the shiba memes but i also dislike how Majority of what i see of shiba is Just the memes and jokes. I wouldn't go as far as say i despise them at all (or i wouldn't have a folder of shiba memes) but I think its disappointing that i hardly see anyone actually take him seriously as a character or give him any consideration for analysis. Or not as much as I'd like to see, anyways (when i do see it it fucks hard though.) I also get the impression sometimes that some people take delight in the memes + clowning on shiba specifically bc they think he's just Not well written or interesting which bums me out a little.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

this clown shiba edit i made a yearish ago. i hold it close to my heart.

[wondrouswendy]

Top 10(ish) Friendship Moments with Zath

So today is the 10 year anniversary of me knowing @rangerzath (formally ijaat on Tumblr).

This is a compilation of my favorite moments/experiences shared with Zath over the years. Some of these moments are funny. Some involve mistakes on my behalf, but Zath had my back. What do all of these moments share? They're heart-warming reminders that sometimes you can meet people online and form a friendship with them that survives the test of space, distance, timezones, ups and downs, and grief.

It's hard to believe 10 years have passed since we've known each other, but here's to 10 more years of more laughs, more jokes, and more joy. Thanks for being a great friend!

1 - Zathran's People Needed Him (SWTOR)

This is one of those memories that we often refer to amongst ourselves. The comedic timing between our comments is great.

1.25 - Gaerwen Aurell and Zathran Ijaat (SWTOR)

This was the friendship dynamic duo that started it all. Countless AUs spawned from these two, countless stories, and eventually, we both took the dive and merged our SWTOR legacies/families together into one universe.

1.5 - Zath Finally Gets Nightmare Brontes Wings (SWTOR)

Zath was one of the last people in the guild to earn the NIM Brontes wings lmao -- but when they did, it was great!

1.75 - Barsen'thor Buddies (SWTOR)

Barsen'thor Buddies was created as a guild for Zath and I originally. We were just a two person team until we decided to recruit people raid and pvp with us. We recruited people from the server and from tumblr in the olden days. We used to raid regularly and achieved many raid oriented goals. Some highlights include discussing whether this scene from National Treasure could be considered iconic to talking about OCs to labeling bad pugs as the proverbial "Steve."

2 - Almost Instant Regret (Overwatch)

Throughout our Overwatch 1 career, Zath often played Zarya would use the Graviton Ultimate to set up team wipes for me while I was playing Hanzo. I got really cocky in this game, but Zath had my back when someone tried to spoil my play of the game...

3 - Zath Becomes Superman (Overwatch)

The Iron Giant has nothing on this.

4 - Zath Panics When I Scream (PUBG)

Notoriously, in my early days of playing battle royale games like PUBG and Apex, I would get jumpscared easily by enemy players. I tend to scream/panic first, shoot second, give Zath information third. Not really helpful for your teammates! But this has become kind of a meme between us even though I no longer get jumpscared (as often).

5 - Check Your Corn-- (PUBG)

Zath doesn't get jumpscared often, but when they do... Well, make sure you're prepared with backup clothes. Sound warning on this one.

6 - Hacksaw Ridge (Apex Legends)

In this epic, thrilling match from the early days of Apex, Zath played Lifeline and learned the hard way what it takes to be a field medic in a battle royale game. I love this memory because it features some of Zath's funniest one liners, Zath saving the day countless times over. It also features a good old instance of me getting jumpscared.

7 - That Was a Mozambiqueeeeeeee (Apex Legends)

It's not often that Zath breaks the sound barrier with their voice, but lo and behold... sound warning on this one :P

8 - Thaeus and Ziael (World of Warcraft)

I think of our WoW OCs, Thaeus and Ziael have had the most development and story-based growth. A druid and a deathknight, who would have thought that they could fall in love? They are one of my favorite pairings because of their personalities and their dynamics. Zath has created a death knight character who subverts many of the typical tropes we see with these kinds of characters. Thaeus is kind, warm (in spite of being a *frost* death knight), and loving towards Ziael and his family. He is Zath's favorite of their large swath of OCs and played characters. It goes without saying that Zath is an excellent death knight and it's been a pleasure to see how Thaeus has grown in both retail as Zath's perpetual tinkered character and now in Classic as one of the guild's highest parsers.

9 - Rated Battlegrounds with Zath Leading (World of Warcraft, Retail)

Zath always was a champ leading our RBG team. This is my favorite game recorded from that era. This game has a little bit of it all. People ribbing Zath playfully. Zath and I bantering over Frost Mage being good, for once! Ultimately, this game was a win where everyone had fun.

10 - Zath Podfics (Control 2019)

Zath has started reading some of my fics out loud. Honestly, this has been one of the greatest gifts they have ever given me. Hearing my stories outloud has helped me overcome some of my own imposter syndrome as a writer. When I hear Zath reading my stories, it shows me that I am a good writer. I hear the cadence, the intended tone of dialogue, the humor within humorous scenes. Normally I'm so detached from what I'm writing because I'm so immersed in it already. Having an outside perspective bringing the scenes to life has been a tremendous gift, one that I know has been produced with love, passion, and care.

[logicalbookthief]

Christmas Movies Ranked by How Anti-Capitalist They Are

It’s a Wonderful Life

Movies that make you want to pick a fight with the 1% and also weep with joy. Absolutely a classic and anti-capitalist at its very core. Will convince you we need to start oppressing landlords again.

“Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you're talking about... they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath? Anyway, my father didn't think so. People were human beings to him. But to you, a warped, frustrated old man, they're cattle.”

SAY THAT!!! George Bailey said fuck landlords, all my homies hate landlords, they have NO rights. Local man believes poor people are human, dedicates his life to helping them, and in his time of the need literally the whole town comes together to support him and his family. Class solidarity ftw!

“Remember no man is a failure who has friends.” Bitch I CRY EVERY GODDAMN TIME. 

10/10

Home Alone

Soundtrack goes hard, the wacky hijinks even harder. 

Loses points because the bandits had a prime opportunity to seize and redistribute some of the wealth from this ritzy Chicago neighborhood and instead they focus their energy on trying to kill an 8-year-old who outsmarts them at every turn.

2/10

Elf

A family favorite in our house. Touches on the overworking and mistreatment of employees through Greenway Press – Walter forced to choose between being with his family on Christmas Eve or losing his job, it’s implied Deb has a pet grooming business on the side to makes ends meet despite being a receptionist at a NY publishing company, etc.

Honestly most of the points come from Jonie’s underrated yet highly relatable storyline. She works in retail, exhausted and cynical towards the high-paced Christmas season which gives her little to no relief or reward, since she’s surviving on ramen noodles and using the employee showers because her water was cut off. Not expanded on enough to be considered a true Marxist piece but the effort is appreciated.

5/10

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Although the meme is correct in that Rudolph’s red nose becomes desirable only once it proves to be useful, it does get points for exposing the harmful nature of forced conformity and those alienated by these capitalist ideals -- Rudolph, Hermie, the island of misfit toys -- are given a place to belong despite the perceived “flaws” that before made them undesirable.

Also the elves definitely have a free dental-plan now thanks to Hermie and are hopefully on their way to unionizing. Fucking superb you funky little misfit.

6/10

Klaus (2019)

Turns a member of the bourgeoisie into a man I’d trust to carry my mail. Respect for postal workers this movie contains was ahead of its time.

 No direct takedown of the establishment but a heartwarming message -- “A true selfless act always sparks another” bITCH I may be crying -- that emphasizes the importance of giving to others even when there is no selfish motivation to do so, which is inherently anti-capitalist.  

8/10

The Santa Clause

Scott Calvin starts as a toy executive who takes part in the commercialization of Christmas. He was probably a business major so automatically loses points.

The Santa dynasty itself seems to operate under the cutthroat rules of the business world where you must overthrow (or in this case, throw him off the roof) the former CEO in order to seize power. 

Elves have not unionized or seized the means of production by the end.

0/10

A Christmas Carol 

THE ORIGINAL. Charles Dickens was not even in the neighborhood of fucking around with this one. CREATED the anti-capitalist Christmas genre!!

Rich man treats his employees like shit and gets terrorized by three ghosts on Christmas Eve. Force him to redistribute his wealth by dragging him through a montage of his most epic fails -- oh, hey, remember when your fiancé left you? -- and make him listen as all his employees and relatives complain about his stingy ass. 

They end this slideshow by throwing this dude into his own grave. DIRECT ACTION. 

Like damn, the ghosts really said, “If you hoard your resources and ignore those in need when you could directly improve/save lives with no cost to yourself, you will die ALONE and you WILL pay for your crimes in hell.” Literally watching this movie is a catharsis for anyone who is or has been poor and working class. 

I’m including all versions of this movie but a special shout out to the Muppet version because it fucks the hardest. 

100/10

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

Listen I’m not even in realms of joking with this one. This movie is THE anti-capitalist film of the holiday season. 

WhoVille commercializing Christmas and a fixation on consumer culture to the point where anything and anyONE who cannot be commodified -- aka the GRINCH -- is alienated? The Whos rediscovering that people should be cherished over material items once it all is stolen and they must confront how empty the holiday has become??

Cindy Lou becoming disillusioned in Christmas -- at an age that coincides when many children (those who celebrate Christmas at least) lost belief in Santa and had to wrestle with what the holiday means with the magic gone and they’re more aware of the rampant consumerism that taints the season?? Her resolve to find a meaning that goes beyond material consumption because if a holiday founded on goodwill doesn’t extend that goodwill to everyone, even those society deems undesirable, then what’s the point???

The Grinch despising Christmas because he is unable to participate and isolated from the Whos and also the better qualities within himself? His alienation serving to demonize him further as it allows the public to narrow his valid criticisms of the holiday down to him being different and thus inherently predisposed to evil?? And hmm isn’t it interesting that a LOT of this demonization comes via Mayor Augustus “generously paid for by the tax-payers of Whoville” Maywho, Mr. 1% himself.

The upper vs working class divide evident in the light show competition between Martha May and Betty Lou Who?? The opening scene of the shopping frenzy that mirrors our own consumerist culture and overworking of retail/poster workers??? This entire monologue:

“That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what it's always been about. Gifts, gifts... gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts! You wanna know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me. In your garbage. You see what I'm saying? In your garbage. I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump. And the avarice... the avarice never ends! ‘I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue.’" 

MARXIST KING. MENTION IT ALL.

1000/10

[arcanadreams]

That time you and your demon boyfriend went viral

hi yes hello obey me fandom!! my name is Gabbi and i have never played a single second of the actual game but i have read enough fanon content for the past year to have this idea swimming around in my head and now i am finally letting this accursed thing out of my brain and putting it in yours

also i’m only doing the brothers because any more than that and i’d have an aneurysm probably. oh and shoutout to @obeythebutler and @beels-burger-babe for inspiring me with their works to feel brave enough to write for this fandom

Lucifer:

You and Lucifer go viral on Asmo’s Devilgram story!

You’re in the kitchen helping Asmo with dinner duty and singing along to one of your playlists of human realm music that you like to show him.

Asmo starts filming your cute little dance while you stir the pot on the stove because you are just adorable!

About ten seconds into him filming, Lucifer appears in the doorway with quite the stern look on his face. You know, the one that comes right before a “MAMMOOOOOON” and strikes fear into the heart of all those with functioning eardrums. That one.

He opens his mouth, presumably to tell y’all to shut the fuck up, but then there’s a lull in the music and the eldest can hear your voice ever so slightly above the song’s vocalist and he freezes.

Man stops in his tracks like someone just smacked him in the face with a midair volleyball.

Asmo can be heard stifling a laugh behind his phone.

Lucifer’s face gets so soft and he almost, almost, loosens his metal-rod-through-the-ass posture before you notice him and give a little wave and ask if you and Asmo were being too loud like the considerate darling you are.

Lucifer clears and his throat and says something like, “No, you aren’t. I was just coming to check on how dinner is coming along,” and leaves, after which Asmo immediately presses the post button.

Screenshots of Lucifer’s heart eyes for you go absolutely viral because every demon on Devilgram goes absolutely feral for seeing the eldest demon brother lose his dignified composure. It becomes a meme template. “Get you someone who looks at you like Lucifer looks at MC” and “me at the delivery demon when he shows up with my spicy bat wings” posts become commonplace. (Asmo thinks the memes are totally worth getting strung up with Mammon for laughing at them.)

Mammon:

Much like Lucifer, you and Mammon end up going viral off Asmo’s Devilgram. (Noticing a pattern here?) 

He pulls a silly prank on your asses and honestly I don’t know how you fell for it. But hey, they say “idiots in love” for a reason, so...

You and Asmo are sitting in the common room of the House of Lamentation just chillin. Well, he’s chillin, you’re on the floor studying for an upcoming exam.

The video starts in the middle of a conversation you and the avatar of lust were having.

“No, Asmo,” you say. “Mammon and I don’t use pet names for each other.” Now that’s just a darn lie, and every demon and crow within ten miles of Mammon and you together knows it.

“Really? I find that very hard to believe, MC.~” 

You sigh in response to Asmo’s teasing. “Okay, he has a lot for me but I’m just not much of a pet name person, y’know?” The rest of the exchange goes like this:

“Oh, I totally get it.” *pause* “Hey MC, what do human world bees make again?”

“Honey.”

Cue a sheepish Mammon sticking his head in the doorway at the bluntness of your tone when you answered Asmo.

“Yeah, babe?” he looks like a puppy left on the side of a highway oh my god hUG HIM-

Asmo turns the camera back to his smug ass face and in the background you can be heard tripping on the damn carpet trying to get up and hug your mans. (”MAMMON GET OVER HERE SO I CAN HUG YOU” “W-WHAT? I THOUGHT YA WERE MAD AT ME?!?!?!?!”)

Leviathan:

Streamer Levi? Streamer Levi.

You guys go viral the first time you make an appearance on one of Levi’s weekly (insert cool Devildom streaming service name here) streams. 

It’s completely unintentional. You had been asking him for weeks to play with him on there, but he’s the avatar of envy after all. He doesn’t like sharing his partner, even if it’s with random strangers who have no real access to you.

However, he has his stream on a Thursday instead of a Friday one week, and you come into his room carrying dinner because 1) You didn’t realize he was streaming and 2) No matter what he was doing, the boy needed to eat. It wasn’t unusual for you to bring him dinner, so you had no idea why he was blushing and stammering even more than usual this time in particular. Boy was speaking in beached whale trying to tell you what was wrong.

Then you notice his screen. Oh! “Hi chat!” You wave, setting Levi’s food down on his desk in front of his keyboard. “M-MC!” He full-on whines, slamming a hand over his mouth afterwards when he remembers his viewers could hear that.

Honestly, they’d meme the fuck out of him if it weren’t for the fact that they are FINALLY SEEING HIS HENRY!!! THE MYSTERIOUS MC!!!

Chat is bombarding you with questions while you make Levi eat dinner. And by make him eat dinner, I mean literally feeding this man forkfuls/spoonfuls while he games because you love how flustered he gets when you do that. 

Does it impact his score? Absolutely. Does he care? Not really when you’re pampering him like that.

You start answering chat’s questions about you while he’s chewing so he can’t tell you to stop LMAO-

You’re a natural on stream. The VOD becomes the most popular on Levi’s account in a matter of hours and soon cute highlights compilations of you and him on that stream start making the rounds on Devildom Twitter.

Satan:

There was buildup to Satan going viral, similar to Levi in a way. 

Satan does have a Devilgram, but it’s basically a white woman’s Instagram with added book reviews for variety. Unless you’re a reader his account is pretty boring: candles, books, fireplaces, and cats.

However, after you two started reading together fairly often he began posting pictures of your legs draped over his while you sat together. They’d always be captioned with vague ass pretentious literary criticism. 

This goes on for months, and he gains a lot of (horny) followers after the leg pics start up. He doesn’t really get why but you both joke that it’s because you have some damn nice legs and I mean neither of you are complaining about the new following.

You two go viral when he finally shows your face, entirely by accident.

The post is a video, which is already strange for him and grabs attention. In it, you’re scoffing and reading an excerpt of a book, mocking its understanding of female anatomy.

“I’m quoting here, Satan: ‘her breasts bouncing around like giant pacmen.’ I’M SORRY?? THAT ISN’T HOW BOOBS WORK SIR. WHY ARE MEN ALLOWED TO WRITE?” 

(fun fact that is a very real quote from a very real book I really read last month pls save me)

Originally the camera is focused on your body, with your head out of frame to protect your privacy, but your righteous anger made Satan laugh. Like, a real laugh. The one that makes you and everyone in earshot wonder if he truly was never an angel cause he sure as hell laughs like one but anyway-

When he threw his head back, his DDD angled up just a tad without him noticing, and your face was in view for like .2 seconds. Screenshots of it are making the rounds on Devilgram almost immediately: FINALLY THE LEGS’ OWNER HAS BEEN FOUND.

Satan apologizes profusely but you honestly find it funny and you two opt to just start taking selfies while reading with both of your faces in them from now on. 

Asmodeus:

I’m gonna be real with you: you and Asmo go viral all the time. Pretty much everything Asmo posts can be considered viral because of his social media following and his status as one of the seven avatars of sin.

However, there are some fairly cute highlights to be pointed out among the times you were both featured in a post that blew up.

Your favorite is probably that time Asmo livestreamed on of you guys’ ‘Nail Nites,’ as you call them.

You’re both on the floor, doing your nails and kicking your feet back and forth while talking to chat. A lot of the questions are about your relationship, and there’s a lot of flirting back and forth between the two of you.

A particular clip of the stream does blow the fuck up on Devilgram, though, when someone screen records it and posts it with a bunch of heart emojis edited over it.

“’What colors do you think best describe each other?’ Ooo, that’s a good one, chat!” Asmo claps his hands together excitedly, making sure to be  careful of his nails.

Pretty much everyone expected you to say pink, but you surprised both your boyfriend and your viewers when, after a pensive few moments, you replied with “Hmm...probably yellow or orange.”

“Can I ask why, darling?” Asmo tilts his head in confusion. I mean, yeah, those colors look good on him, but he doesn’t wear them often so he’s wondering about your thought process. 

“Well, in the human world those colors often represent happiness, optimism, and positivity. You’re always the cheerful presence I need in my life when things get hard, so you have the vibe of those colors.”

Asmo proceeds to burst into tears and hug you, messing up both of your nails and prolonging the stream since you both have to start over. But neither of you particularly care. 

Fun fact: Asmo has the clip that demon made of that portion of the stream saved on his DDD and watches it whenever he feels sad.

Beelzebub:

Beel and you probably go the most viral out of everybody. Like this moment is an entire phenomenon across the Devildom internet. 

It’s a video, or well, multiple videos, taken at the end of a Fangol game that Beel’s team had just won. Everyone is cheering and going crazy, yourself included, and you just really wanted to congratulate your boyfriend.

So, like the rational person you are, you elect to climb up onto the railing of the bleachers and wave to get his attention. 

You were absolutely fine up there, and sat all comfortably motioning Beel over to you. He notices, of course, and jogs over, standing right beneath you and looking up. (Back where you were sitting, Mammon is screeching like a hyena in heat and Belphie, who is laying down, has one eye open to glare at him. The youngest knows Beel would never let you hurt yourself; you’re fine.)

A bunch of assorted demons at the game has started filming while you were sat atop the railing since you were rather noticeable. Therefore, there’s a shit ton of different angles of the adorable events that follow:

You slide off the railing, landing right in Beel’s waiting arms bridal style. You’ve got this brilliant smile on your face as you pull his helmet off. None of the DDDs filming can hear it over the crowd noise, but Beel asks you why you just went through all that trouble and you tell him it’s because you wanted to tell him how proud you are.

Soft boy’s chest puffs up and he smiles this big cheesy smile at you reach up to run a hand through his hair. You feel him practically purr at the contact, and with a laugh you pull him in and plant a big ole smooch on him.

The crowd, at least those of them that can see, scream. Everyone is running high on adrenaline and happy emotions; something that cute causes a ruckus!! When you pull away Beel proceeds to put you on his shoulders and you celebrate with him and the rest of his team.

The videos of you two being adorable go completely viral and there are some threads dedicated to stockpiling every single angle taken of the event. Beel is completely oblivious to the attention but you have a lot of them saved on your DDD.

Belphegor:

If you think Belphegor has any sort of social media presence whatsoever then you are sorely mistaken. (Well okay he actually does run some anonymous troll accounts to meme on Lucifer’s posts but that’s neither here nor there-)

Therefore, naturally, you two go viral off of Asmo’s Devilgram. 

Okay so someone in the obey me tag the other say headcanoned that Belphie will go out of his way to nap in ridiculous places and my brain really took that and RAN WITH IT.

So what happens is that Belphie will fall asleep in the fucking weirdest places. I’m talking on top of the fridge, underneath the dinner table, on top of bookshelves...you name it, he has slept there, no matter the effort it takes to get there in the first place. 

And, ever since you two started dating, you would join him. Sometimes it involved putting yourself at risk of great bodily harm, but the little smile he gave when you he saw you fucking scaling the countertop to reach him made it worth it.

So anyway, since Beel adores the both of you to no end, he takes pictures whenever he sees you two napping together, whether or not it is in a crazy place. He sends these to the family group chat because he thinks they’re adorable.

Over a span of weeks to months, Asmo has built up a stock of images of you and Belphie cuddles up in seemingly impossible places. Once he has about ten or so, he posts a compilation of them to his Devilgram with some cheesy ass caption like “The things we do for love <3″.

They become a meme SO QUICKLY. Like UNBELIEVABLY quickly. 

The picture of you and Belphie sleeping on top of a bookshelf, in particular, is a big hit. Memes abound.

“If my girl doesn’t climb up a bookshelf to cuddle my ass, she don’t love me.” “Get yourself a partner who scales bookshelves just to be with your ass.” Etc etc...Belphie doesn’t give a shit but you laugh at a lot of them so he sees that as a good outcome.

[silentstep]

chengqing for the ask game?

Ship It, ship it, shiiiiiip iiiiiiiit, my otp

What made you ship it?

a nebulous sort of question! Who know what alchemy makes these things happen? But: Jiang Cheng is very very much my character type, and in a lot of ways Wen Qing is too, although we spend less narrative space with her; they're both incredibly lonely people in their positions and circumstances, who want to have partners on whom they can rely and trust, and they would like to be that person for their own partner, and they very much want each other, and they would be so good as partners, and they both! have! nobody, basically! who can really fill that position in their lives, or who would be so well suited, AND YET THEY ARE SO TRAGICALLY DENIED—

What are your favorite things about the ship?

they're both loud, strong-willed, stubborn people, who live beneath seventeen layers of hard bitter self-protective shell, and yet beneath them they are just. actually sweet. and they're so devoted, so devoted, they'll walk themselves to their deaths in contentment for the people they love and never even say a word about it, they're so fucking dutiful. I'm so so so weak to dutiful characters. CHARACTERS TORN BETWEEN LOVE AND DUTY, is there anything better, THERE IS NOT.

but my actual favorite thing is just how good a match they are for each other! they are 110% on the same page about pretty much everything, in that they agree with each other about what the right decision is in every situation. are My People in danger? Move heaven and earth to save them, up to and including sacrificing innocent outsiders. They don't want to do that— they both have perfectly functional moral compasses, they don't want to hurt innocents— but they'll do it for Their People's sake, when push comes to shove. If only they could yoke together, imagine how well they'd sort!

and you know what else? I like that they both know it. There are so many relationships where the central tragedy is that neither ever really knew how much they meant to the other until it was too late, like Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian. Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen have a touch of that, too, and so do Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. But Jiang Cheng and Wen Qing actually don't have any of that. Jiang Cheng, when he first meets her, has no idea of the extent of the malice and destruction that Wen Ruohan means to bring to bear on the cultivation world and his clan in particular, and she at that point already knows that it's going to be her people or his, and that she's choosing hers, and that she is consciously already betraying every good faith effort he's making to reach out— when he sees her in their cabin and goes "Wen-guniang!! Why are you here? :) :) :D" and she can't even respond because the real answer is "to help my uncle bring fire and death to this sanctuary of peace and learning, for the sake of the lives of my family and clan" and it breaks my heart— but like. that's the last time they don't understand each others' situations. They know that they want each other, and they know that it doesn't matter, because they can't have each other. </3

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

hahahahahahahha!! yes. it's: she's not domming him. He's not ~submissive and breedable~ and she doesn't peg him about it. So sorry, you're just going to have to get over the fact that it's ew icky het without any femdom to make it better. They're actually completely equal partners! or, if anything— no, listen, this mostly isn't even out of spite, but like— I mean, I look at Wen Qing, who has been gritting her teeth under all her burdens that she's refused to let anyone share for so long, and like…

WQ:  what if I 😳 let go of control for a hot minute 😳 and it resulted in nice things happening to me and not things like, say, my entire family dying

Canon:  no  :)

& I'm just so so so annoyed by all the jokes and memes that are just "lol Jiang Cheng wants Wen Qing but she doesn't want him back I mean can you imagine haha! imagine a female character wanting a male character; imagine a female character having vulnerabilities instead of being Strong™… she must always stay in perfect control at all times and none of the feelings can be on her side or else she's not Strong" and no!!  her strength and tragedy are that she DOES want him and she knows she can't have him and she holds herself back because of it!  it's that she doesn't ever get to focus on just the things she wants for herself because she always has to be in full-on survival mode!  it's horribly sad!  it's not a good thing!  it's a sad thing!  give Wen Qing someone she can trust to handle things sometimes!!  she's so alone in shouldering everything all the time; it hurts my heart.  During their time in the Burial Mounds she & WWX are absolutely bros & it's great, but in a lot of ways he's also someone she's got to manage.  Jiang Cheng's number 1 good characteristic is that he shows up and pulls his weight every single day no matter how boring and unglamorous.  and I just want that for her, let her be attracted to his strength, come on, come on

also on his side, my g-d, let Jiang Cheng get to feel actually valued for his strengths for once in his life???? let his reliability and dedication and work ethic be valued by an important person in his life! His entire family made him and his mother feel like the bad guys for not being ~fun~ when there was important work to be done, and for him I want someone who'll consider that a good thing instead. And she would.

and I do think, honestly, that they would both find a relationship in which neither of them has to always be the Caretaker or the Nag to be a huge relief and a safe harbor.

[nat-seal-well]

Could you do some headcannons or something with the damn polycule(including Gav) being dads? Like just being those cool dads that give their kids ice cream for breakfast or something?

If that’s too many people, or just a concept you aren’t for then you don’t have to! But I’d love to hear your thoughts on it :))

Anon you don’t ever have to worry about that being too many people, I’m always weak for the D.A.M.N polycule—

Also, I was gonna work on this later this week but I legit could not leave this thought alone. And it’s been a rough day and I decided something fluffy was needed. Thank you for this request! 💙

Listen. These kids are gonna be SO LOVED.

Like you cannot ask for a more wholesome family.

I just wanna say that when they brought their first kid home, Lasko held them very close and cried. All the boys are determined to make sure their kids have the best life, but him especially. He’s gonna make sure their children never have to go through what he did.

Freelancer convinced all of them to dress like dads the first time they all went out together. We’re talking denim shorts with the shirt tucked in, Nike monarchs, a belt—the whole thing. It was really a joke but Gavin took to it the most.

Gavin: I am what the humans call a dilf

Damien: please stop

Okay on to the actual request

Damien helps them with their homework. You know those memes about dads making their kids cry on math night?

Yeah, that doesn’t happen. Like at all. Damien’s the most patient person you could ask for when it comes to helping them with their work. If there’s something he doesn’t understand, he’ll stay up late after the kiddos go to bed, looking up better ways to help teach them on YouTube or something.

Eventually one of his partners has to come find him to get him to come to bed.

He and the kids have matching aprons for when they help him in the kitchen. On mornings where Damien makes breakfast for the rest of the family, the kids love to lend a hand.

Huxley’s usually the second one up and he always finds them making pancakes together in their aprons.

He has a picture of them cooking saved on his phone. He took it when Damien was busy helping one of the kids mix pancake batter in a bowl. Damien doesn’t know he has it :)

Lasko does Game Night with them. They all sprawl out in the living room and play board games at least once a week. He puts music on a Bluetooth speaker for background noise and lets them pick out a couple games.

There’s lots of snacks, of course.

The kids’ favorite game is Catan. They also like Uno. Lasko comes home at least once a month with a new edition of Uno. The family has a collection going and the kids are always ecstatic whenever he finds a new version.

They also build Legos together. Freelancer’s always coming home to him and the kids at the dining room table and with another Lego set. Lasko reads the instructions and guides the kids when they need it, but for the most part, they do a lot of it themselves. He’s always so proud of them.

Lasko takes them to the movies, too. The whole family does movies, but Lasko’s thing with the kids are the Marvel ones. They all go together to see them. It’s a tradition.

When the kids decide they want to get into sports, Huxley’s the dad for that. No surprise there. He takes them to the store to get all the equipment, he spends weekend afternoons with them at the park while they practice, and he brings the best snacks to all the games.

One of the kids ends up getting really into baseball. A couple of times, for whatever reason, the coaches couldn’t get an umpire. Huxley volunteers whenever it happens.

There’s lots of pictures on the family camera of him in the gear, out on the field. All the other moms love when the actual umpire doesn’t show and they need a stand-in. They might have crushes on him. Maybe.

In spring, he gardens. The kids have a little patch of land in the backyard. They visit every nursery and Lowe’s and Home Depot in Dahlia until the kids find exactly the right flowers to plant.

One of them planted sunflowers and they just took off. Huxley and the kids surprised Freelancer one morning with a bouquet of them.

Gavin joins the parent committee the school has.

When the kids do fundraisers, they always end up making the most money. Especially if it’s the door-to-door stuff. No one sells pies better than those kids, and the distractingly-gorgeous dad who goes with them.

Sunday mornings are for house cleaning. Gavin does a lot of stuff around the house since the others work. Sundays, though? It’s a group effort.

Gavin makes it fun. The others have found him dancing with the kids in the kitchen when they were supposed to be sweeping. He makes all the chores a game, and the house is clean in record-time.

He also likes to take them on walks. Gavin takes them to the same ice cream shop every time, and the owner is just a little in love with him. They get discounts.

(He’s the one that tries to sneak them ice cream for breakfast. Damien has to stop him every time, but he’s gotten good at sneaking them spoonfuls when Damien’s back is turned.)

Caelum absolutely adores the kids, by the way. He watches them whenever Freelancer and their partners go out for the night.

They adore him, too.

They spend a lot of time baking cookies together to surprise their parents, watching Disney movies, and coloring.

He lets them do his hair and makeup. By the end of the night when it’s time to put them to bed, Caelum’s hair is tied back into dozens of ponytails and he has glitter all over his face.

He loves it.

[imakemywings]

A Favor for the Prince

Fandom: Tolkien

Characters: Feanor, Nerdanel

Pairing: Feanor/Nerdanel

Summary: Feanor has a proposal for Nerdanel.

AN: It’s pegging. It’s also PWP. Answering my own prompt on the Silm kink meme.

AO3 | Pillowfort

____________________________________________________

The phallus was sitting on the bed when Nerdanel came in to clean and change after work. It stood out against the pale blue comforter of the four-poster, catching her eye as she shuffled in, raking loose hair back from her face.

It appeared to be a glass base, wrapped in supple, soft leather, save for the tip, which was exposed to show a dark ruby just beneath the glass surface. It was a decent length and thickness (Nerdanel wrapped her thumb and forefinger around it to test), and very erect.

“A surprise for me?” she asked herself aloud with a confused little laugh, finding herself rather funny. That was when she spotted the pile of straps on the dresser by the windows. Setting the fake penis aside, she went to examine those, and, lifting them, realized it was not a haphazard pile of straps, but a harness. It seemed to come together around a central ring, which was rather large. Her eyes flicked back to the phallus on the bed, and unable to resist her curiosity, she tested it. It fit right through the ring, but hung back snugly so it could only be inserted or removed one way. “A surprise for someone else?”

Or a joke? Though it wasn’t really in keeping with Fëanor’s sense of humor, what of it existed. She couldn’t think of anyone else in the house who would bother leaving such a tawdry thing in their bedroom.

Finding no other answers, nor questions, she put both mysteries aside and went to the washbasin to rinse her face and neck of the dust of the studio and change into something she could wear to dinner.

***

From her and Fëanor’s apartments she passed through one of the larger courtyards, headed to the main hall, and saw Finarfin sitting on the edge of a fountain, swinging his feet and dragging a stick through the clear water, a book propped open beside him.

“Arafinwë, have you seen Fëanáro?” she asked.

“No, Lady Nerdanel, not today,” he replied, turning those big, sober blue doe-eyes on her. Finarfin was a child who seemed more like a old Elf trapped in an adolescent’s body, which was a bit jarring following Fëanor, Fingolfin, and Lalwen. She saw him studying with masters of literature, science, and history more often than she saw him playing with others his age. “I heard him going to the forge this morning; he was up very early today. But I have not heard him since.”

“Mm.” Not unusual; it only meant she’d have to track him down. Whether or not they dined with Finwë and his family usually depended on whether or not Fëanor had quarreled with one of them that day, which made it very difficult to plan.

Alas for the difficulties of the royal family!

***

“So, are you responsible for the phallus on the bed?” she asked as they meandered back to their apartments through an open walkway along the outside of the palace. Dinner with the high king and queen had included duck, always a favorite of Nerdanel’s, and Finwë had asked her many questions about her latest commission, something which always put Fëanor in a good mood. He enjoyed boasting about Nerdanel’s exploits to his father, and many times would interrupt her to add details where he felt she had left out something relevant.

“Nerdanel!” Fëanor exclaimed. “You might at least wait until we were inside!”

“But you did leave it there,” she said.

“Did you imagine someone else was breaking into our apartments to leave phalluses lying around?” he asked. She shrugged. She almost wished they had, just so she could see how red Indis would go at the sheer impropriety when Fëanor demanded to know who had been leaving dicks in his apartments.

Fëanor pulled open the door and as they shed the shoes and shawls they had worn to dinner, he said:

“It’s meant for you.”

“For me?” she echoed. “It’s a fine piece of craftsmanship, but I have something better already,” she said, letting her gaze drop pointedly below Fëanor’s waist.

“Not like that,” he said, and despite the low light and Fëanor’s darker skin, Nerdanel was abruptly sure he was blushing. “It’s—for you to use, but not on yourself.”

Fëanor always dressed elegantly for dinner with the family, unless he was annoyed with Finwë or Indis, but not so annoyed as to skip dinner entirely (or in such instances as he had been dragged, nails digging into the floorboards, from the forge after being reminded he really did need to eat something). Bedecked in jewels and delicately-embroidered robes, with black pearls on his slippers and golden ornamental sticks pierced through the small bun he wore (dinner had been only a family affair, and so he had not minded wearing his hair mostly down), he looked like a historian’s vision of what the prince of the Noldor should look like.

“Findis, then? She could use it.” Fëanor choked in a way that Nerdanel was unsure was more amusement or disgust; perhaps it was equally both.

“It’s for me!” Nerdanel curled her hands over the back of the sofa and grinned at him through the half-light of the parlor.

“You wish for me to fuck you, Fëanáro?” His eyes traced over her arms, which rippled with muscle when she stretched, toned from hauling around chunks of marble and stone. He lifted his chin, with that look that was so Fëanor, that refusal to back down or be ashamed or cowed out of what he wanted. His pride was truly phenomenal, but Nerdanel was lying if she said it never made her hot. “Well, who am I to deny the crown prince?” she said. She strolled over to him and hooked her fingers over the sash he wore about his hips to tug him back towards their bedroom.

“Now?” he said.

“Please, as if you would let me make you wait until tomorrow,” she said, and Fëanor followed her lead, and at the threshold gathered her into his arms to kiss her in a way that made her sure he had been named perfectly by Miriel. Spirit of fire indeed! She melted in his embrace and let him burn her up from the inside out.

They took turns pulling things off each other, lips and teeth and tongues in a perpetual slow-motion collision, Fëanor’s hands on her shoulders her breasts her hips her ass, as if he could never have enough of her. It baffled her still, how one such as Fëanor—with either his looks or his station or his talent alone—could have had probably anyone in Tirion, and yet he desired her. She had stopped questioning it a long time ago, though—she didn’t disbelieve that he felt the way he did, only the sense of his taste.

Neither of them moved to take off any of Fëanor’s jewelry, though Nerdanel gladly tossed aside the few pieces she had worn. She might be a Noldo, but she preferred seeing jewels on others to wearing them herself, and Fëanor easily wore enough for both of them.

When he had her down to her undershorts, and Fëanor in his pants, she pushed him off and turned her attention to this new thing he had brought into their bedroom.

“Did you make it?” she asked, grabbing the phallus of the bed where she’d left it before dinner.

“Of course. Do you think I would trust someone else with this?” he asked. Nerdanel snorted.

“Fëanáro, I’m not certain you trust anyone with anything.”

“I trust you,” he murmured against her ear, sending a pleased shiver up her spine. She leaned back against him, feeling the warmth of his strong chest against her back. “I trust you with this.” His mouth was at the juncture of her neck and her freckled shoulder and Nerdanel let out an almost imperceptible sigh.

“How long did it take you to make?” she asked. She felt Fëanor’s muscles tense with a shrug.

“A few weeks?” he said. “I had been fitting it in around other things. I threw out the first three; that ate up time.” Now that sounded like Fëanor. She would accuse him of perfectionism, but she feared he might just hold up a mirror.

“Is that a ruby in there?”

“I didn’t see a reason it shouldn’t be comely,” he said.

“Maybe I should put jewelry on you,” she suggested. Fëanor was nuzzling at her neck, and one of his hands was rucking up the leg of her undershorts, the bulge of his bicep fitted against the slight dip of her waist.

“Do you want to?” he asked lowly, brushing his nose against the blade of her ear. Fëanor had a beautiful voice, smooth like honey when he spoke quietly and resounding with power when he raised it. It was equal parts wonderful and irritating that he need only murmur a few words by her ear to make the heat begin to spark between her legs. (It was worse when listening to him debate made her stir; at least this was more understandable, though the other one did sometimes lead to flash fire encounters in the back rooms of the university.) She made a quick, impatient noise and swatted his hand away from her leg, trying to breathe her heart back to a normal rate.

“You distract me,” she said, which, as usual, only made Fëanor grin impishly at her, his eyes sparkling. “Now, how am I supposed to…” Nerdanel held the harness up, turning it about. It had been easier to figure out how to fit the phallus into it than to fit herself into it.

“Take these off first,” Fëanor said, tugging at her undershorts.

“It won’t fit over them?” she asked.

“Of course it will,” he said. “But you should take them off.” With a pleased purse of her lips, Nerdanel stepped out of her last piece of clothing. At her back, Fëanor reached around to help her turn the harness right-side-up, and held it in place for her. Her eyes raked over his well-shaped forearms and the smell of his perfume enveloped her, a woody scent underlined with something spicy—cardamom? Against her ass, she could feel his excitement, and she leaned back more than strictly necessary to step into the harness, delighting in the way she felt Fëanor shiver. “How does this feel?” he asked quietly, tugging at the straps. “Not too tight?”

“No,” she said, bouncing a little to test the hold and stifling a snicker at the way the phallus bobbed along with her movement.

“If it chaffs, you can loosen it,” he said.

“I believe I shall survive,” she said. She turned to him as Fëanor opened his mouth—doubtless to insist on adjusting the harness if it wasn’t completely comfortable—and stroked his hair; halfway through a caress, she sank her fingers into his glossy black tresses and forced him down to his knees. “You, though…I can’t promise anything there,” she said. Fëanor’s eyes were fixed on her with singular focus, making her heart pound in her chest; being the object of his whole attention had always sent shivers up her back.

“Lick it,” she said on impulse. With his dark eyes still on her face, Fëanor leaned in and ran his tongue up the phallus. “More,” she said. Fëanor held her eyes a moment more before lowering his gaze. He leaned in took the tip of the thing into his mouth, and Nerdanel suddenly ached, watching his sweet red lips wrap around the cock she wore.

How had she never considered this idea before?

She reached her hand for his hair again, but he wasn’t halfway down the toy before he gagged and drew back.

“That is unpleasant,” he said, rubbing his throat.

“You big baby,” Nerdanel said. Fëanor scowled.

“That’s different.”

“Hardly,” she said. “You learn to like it.” But she wouldn’t make him learn it all in one night; she’d rather have his loud mouth on flesh and blood, anyway. And there was plenty else to do with this thing. “Go lie down, then.”

Fëanor stretched out with anticipation on their bed, watching her keenly, his pants tented around his arousal. Nerdanel followed, kneeling against the edge, to yank the pants off and toss them aside, making him twitch as they dragged over his groin.

“You’re focused tonight,” she murmured, lowering her head to press her lips against the softness of his inner thigh.

“Am I?” He didn’t sound focused; he sounded like he might be about to pass out.

“You say nothing about what you did at the forge today,” she explained, flicking her tongue against his skin; she felt a tiny, sharp gasp escape him.

“I…did nothing of particular interest…”

“And that’s not a story itself?” she asked, moving upwards; Fëanor squirmed and Nerdanel bit down on a grin. “Come on, tell me,” she coaxed. “What did you work on today?”

“The lamps,” he said tightly. “The blueprints are…I don’t know what I was thinking; they’re useless. I’ve thrown them out; I must start again. The entire design was bland, and poorly-conceived, and—” Fëanor cut himself off with an intake of breath as Nerdanel leaned up to kiss his chest, dragging his tongue around his nipple, pressing the cock between his shapely legs. “Nerdanel,” he whined, wriggling as if it wasn’t every other time they were in bed he couldn’t keep his mouth shut (even sitting on his face, Nerdanel had found, did not necessarily shut him up).

“And?” she said.

“Nerdanel!”

“Oh, hush,” she said, sealing her mouth over his and grinding her hips against his. Fëanor’s hips bucked against hers and he grabbed at her waist, pulling her more firmly down against him. Taking advantage of her new appendage, she rutted against the tent in Fëanor’s shorts, feeling an ache low in her gut at his clear desire.

“Nerdanel,” Fëanor breathed wetly against her mouth. “Please…”

“There’s my sweet-tongued prince,” she teased, kissing at his throat. Fëanor rolled his hips up against her, his nails digging into her back. “Wouldn’t you be disappointed if I made it easy for you? You never like anything that isn’t difficult.”

“That’s…not true,” he panted, tensing his legs on either side of her, drawing his knees up. “You make me sound very unpleasant.”

“Of course it is,” she said. “Anything which is easy bores you. I do not intend to ever bore you, Fëanáro.” She nipped at his neck and trailed her fingers over his ribs, feeling the goosebumps break out over his skin. Fëanor moaned, and she felt his hips jerk ever more desperately up against her. Deciding she had teased him enough, she reached down and pulled his shorts off, exposing his flushed cock with a soft gasp of relief from her husband. She spread his legs.

“Wait!” he cried, shifting back on the bed. He leaned over to the end table on his side and withdrew a small vial of fluid. Nerdanel examined it once Fëanor had passed it to her and realized it was oil.

“Ah. Yes, probably a good idea,” she agreed. She slicked the toy down and gave the bottle back to Fëanor to set aside. “On your knees,” she said. With a flickering look of his dark eyes, he complied and Nerdanel pressed close to him, sliding the cock between his legs, little jerks of her hips moving the toy back and forth between his thighs. “If you change your mind…” she began.

“No,” Fëanor interrupted. “Go ahead.” Rolling her eyes faintly, she drew back to examine the situation. Eru forbid she suggest he’d gotten in over his head.

“As you wish; just give me a moment…” She lined herself up properly and hesitated once more. “You’re sure—”

“Do it!”

Aulë’s anvil, one would think she was seeking to deprive him of something.

She pressed the tip of the cock into Fëanor and he gasped and shuddered and she stopped immediately.

“Fëanáro, is—”

“I haven’t asked you to stop!” Nerdanel looked up at the canopy as if the stars embroidered there could grant her patience.

“I’m only going slow,” she said, which sounded better than ‘I panicked.’ “This is our first time with such a thing. I don’t wish to hurt you,” she emphasized. Sometimes stating what ought to be obvious was the only way to combat Fëanor’s predilection for assuming the worst of anyone’s intentions, always. She heard Fëanor take a deep breath.

“It can’t possibly be worse than being burned on hot iron.”

“How I do love hearing you compare our sex life to your forge-related injuries!”

“Are you going to proceed, or should I have fucked myself with it instead?” Fëanor asked. “It begins to feel that would have been quicker.”

“Oh, hush,” Nerdanel said. “I’ve already begun.” She continued sliding the cock into him and feeling somewhat reassured she wasn’t causing him pain, she could just enjoy the way he collapsed down on the bed in a series of garbled moans and clanking bracelets, managing through that to keep his pert ass in the air for her to fuck.

What a good boy.

“How’s this?” she asked gently, stroking one hand along his thigh. Fëanor made some incomprehensible noise. “With words, Fëanáro, please.” Delightful as his senseless groaning was, she wanted to be sure of this.

“Good,” he said hoarsely.

Giving him a moment to get accustomed to the feeling of having something inside him, Nerdanel leaned over and pressed little kisses against the warm expanse of his back, drawing her hand up slowly to tease at his cock and balls until he whined and she felt his hips twitch against her hand.

“Are you ready?” she asked.

“Yes, yes, I’m ready!”

With slow care, Nerdanel drew out of him and then pressed back in, pulling a low moan from Fëanor; she saw his pretty hands fist in the sheets and something in her core went molten. Fëanor wanted her to fuck him? Then please him she would!

“Is that to your liking?” she asked.

“Yes,” he answered, breathing heavily.

“Do you want more?”

“Nerdanel!”

With a quiet laugh, she repeated the movement and Fëanor seemed to sink lower on the bed.

“Nerdanel, faster, please,” he implored her after the third time, shifting about with impatience. Nerdanel obliged, picking up the pace, thrusting in and out of him with her cock, until she could hear Fëanor’s earrings rattle with the force of her fucking, the gold decorations on his hair sticks swaying.

“Oh, Nerdanel, fuck,” he moaned, his knuckles gone white against the sheets. The sound of his lovely voice in the throes of such aching desire nearly made Nerdanel’s mouth water. She slammed into him once more, forcing a choked gasp out of him, and then stopped.

“Turn over,” she said. Fëanor was panting.

“Nerdanel,” he said.

“Turn over, Curufinwë.” With a whine, Fëanor pulled himself off the cock and fell onto his back. He gazed up at her, bright eyes framed with thick lashes, his lush black hair fanning out beneath him, the candlelight shining off the jewels at his forehead, his throat, his ears: red and white and green against the cool brown of his skin. Nerdanel sent a silent prayer of thanks she had wed the most beautiful Elf in Valinor. “Look at you,” she said. “Just look at you!” She leaned down and kissed Fëanor, parting her mouth against his, and his arms went around her, holding her tightly to him. “Fëanáro,” she murmured against his lips. “Fëanáro, I’m going to fuck you so good.”

“Yes, please,” he breathed.

She spread his legs further apart and slid the toy back into him all at once, feeling more confident about it this time. It helped how Fëanor writhed as if he could not get it back into himself fast enough.

“Do you see how thoughtful I am, not remarking at all on how impatient you are?”

“Remind me to give you an award later,” Fëanor said sarcastically, a quick intake of breath coming at the end of his snark as Nerdanel sheathed the toy fully into him. Fucking him from behind had excellent results, but fucking him on his back meant she got to see each and every expression that crossed his face as she began again with a slow pace: how his eyebrows knit together in impatience, how he bit at his full lower lip when she hit him at the right angle, how his rosy flush spread from his face down his neck to his chest.

It also meant she could kiss him, though doing that while also managing the toy was going to take her more getting used to. Fëanor arched up against her as she kissed him, like he was trying to drive the toy deeper into himself, and his achingly hard cock pressed against her stomach. His hands found her breasts and as he massaged them, his thighs squeezing against her hips, she had to keep herself from climbing onto his lap. She had a job to do and she was going to do it!

            She had to draw back from kissing him to focus on fucking him, which, if the arching of his back off the mattress was any sign, was alright with him. The tension in his body told her he was getting close, but when she reached for him, he knocked her hand away.

            “No,” he panted. “No, just…just the toy. I just want that.” So she focused on quick, sharp thrusts of her hips, making Fëanor turn his head to the side, biting his lip and desperately wriggling his body against her. “Nerdanel,” he said, his voice almost a plea. His cock was dripping and there was a tremor in his thighs and Nerdanel wanted to swallow him whole, her beautiful, prideful princeling.

            “You look good with a cock in you, Fëanáro,” she said, driving into him, trusting him to tell her if she was going too hard. He opened his mouth to reply, but all that came out was a gasping moan, his hands grabbing frantically at the sheets, his bracelets clinking against each other with his movement.

            “Nerdanel, I—!”

            “You’re so close, I know,” she said. “Won’t you cum for me, Fëanáro? I want to see you cum.” Fëanor whined, rutting his hips up against her and she would’ve touched him then, if he hadn’t told her not to, but instead she braced her hands against the mattress and picked up her pace, shoving that cock in and out of him as quickly as she could (and thankful that all her time hauling rock kept her fit enough to manage) “Come on Fëanáro,” she panted. “Let me see, let me see your bliss.”

            “Nerdanel,” he gasped, but whatever else he was gone to say broke off in a loud moan as he finally climaxed, his seed splattering against her stomach. Nerdanel came to a stop and Fëanor, limp on the bed, made a sound near a whimper as she pulled out of him. Surveying her work, she nodded with approval. Fëanor hadn’t been wrong about the idea—seeing him splayed out sweaty and flushed and speechless convinced her of that.

            There was just the matter now of how fucking wet she was.

            Catching her own breath, she flopped down on her back beside him.

            “You were right,” she said, always a dangerous thing to say to Fëanor. “I can’t believe we did not think to try this sooner.”

            “I always have good ideas,” said Fëanor.

            “I’m giving you this one,” she said. “Now help me get out of this thing.” With a quiet groan, Fëanor peeled himself off the bed and set to undoing the straps of the harness. Nerdanel’s contribution was lifting her ass off the bed so he could slide the whole thing off of her. When he got off the bed, though, she pulled her attention back to focus. “Where are you going?” she asked.

            “It should be cleaned,” he said.

            “Now?” Fëanor was looking at her, and Nerdanel knew it was going to bother him if she made him put it down and come back, so she waved him off and let her head fall back against the mattress. Let Fëanor clean up if he wanted; she was going to lay right there. “Be quick,” she added. She closed her eyes, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips when she thought of what a mess she’d made of Fëanor. Lazily, she dipped a hand between her legs, sliding a finger in a slow circle around her whining clit as she replayed in her mind the sound of his needy moaning.

            “Hey, now.” Fëanor’s voice came softly, but much closer than she had expected; her eyes opened to see him easing onto the bed. One of his necklaces hung crookedly, caught against the sweaty stickiness of his chest. The shade of brown in his eyes seemed to shift in the light when he moved his head. “That’s my job,” he said, taking her hand and kissing it, sucking on the tip of her finger to lick the taste of her off. She had seen Fëanor bend bars of metal one-handed, but when he took her fingers his touch was as gentle as if he were handling blown glass.

            “Well, then, Prince Fëanáro,” she said. “I await your efforts.” He smiled and sank down between her legs, turning his face to press kisses against her pale thigh.

            “For you, my dear, it’s no effort at all.”

[jjuzoir]

Dating Suna Rintarou HCS

Word Count: 1388

A/N: i’m sick of the suna slander 😔 i wanted some soft sunrin hc’s because it’s always drug lord rin this or toxic suna that :’) i’m too soft for that i need me some 17 y/o meme nerd who’s socially awkward and still asks himself how he got a s/o. if no one else will i will 👺

- He may be good at reading volleyball moves but he’s definitely a little dense when it comes to emotions.

- He doesn’t really talk much about them with you, it’s not that he doesn’t feel anything - he just struggles expressing himself properly with words, so in turn he tends to express himself with actions.

- He’ll struggle a lot at the beginning, afraid to upset you or overstep some boundaries that haven’t been explained, but with time he’ll grow comfortable telling you things as they are.

- The type to walk over to you when he sees you’re not feeling too good and wrap his arms around you, he doesn’t say much as you slowly return the hug and sob. He won’t say anything, he’d let you pour it out now and later have a talk with you.

- He’d have a few snacks you like on his bag too just in case you get hungry or whatever, he says they’re for him but you know he doesn’t like that brand of chips but you do.

- Once you’re done, he takes your hand and leads you to a more private area and encourages you to talk. He may not be able to solve the issue but sometimes talking about how you feel… makes things better, even if it’s just slightly.

- He’s the type to remember anything you tell him even in passing, mention something like your parent’s birthday or an appointment and he’ll just store the information in his brain and spit it out at random times.

- That includes things such as food orders and allergies, what you like and don’t, the things that make you uncomfortable or that make you feel icky; he could write a book on you. Just text him over for some food and he’ll know what to order you even if it’s a place you’ve never been to together.

- He really likes having pictures and videos of you on his camera roll, he'll have super cute pictures of you on a date one moment and then a video of you falling on your ass after you went to pick up a pencil.

- Once you start being more serious about your relationship, he’ll dedicate every game and point he scores to you. If you’re there he’ll look over to your seat and nod, his eyes naturally gravitate towards yours, he’ll always smile at you whenever he scores a point.

- Won’t say it at first but he loves it when you wear his jacket, seeing you in the stands cheering for him with the rest of his classmates pumps him up. After he notices he does better when you do, he’d probably get an extra one for you with his number on it (when Atsumu heard him asking Kita for it he broke lung laughing).

- He hesitated a lot before asking you out, he’s the type of guy to watch over his crush for a while. Not in the creepy way more in the “wow this person is so cool I want to approach them but I’m too embarrassed”-way.

- He loves it when you wear his clothes, especially his hoodies. He isn’t subtle about it at all either, Suna will straight up throw you the hoodie and be like “wow it’s so cute you’re so cute too imagine you wearing that how cute that’d be lmao” while his ears are blushing red.

- Finds everything you do cute, you could be walking towards him in the corridor and he’d be blushing and smiling to himself. Atsumu and Osamu tease the fuck out of him once you’re gone.

- Will send you random posts that remind him of you, they can go from cute pictures of cats snuggling to a deep fried image of a chicken nugget.

- “Heh, look… it’s you.” He showed you a picture, he was lying down on your lap - his hair messy from deep sleep - with his cheeks squished in your thighs.

- “Babe that’s Patrick star.” You look at the screen in confusion and continue playing with your boyfriend’s hair, slightly concerned for his well being.

- “Same energy though.” He mumbles after saving the post, he’d make it your contact picture later.

- He loves falling asleep on your lap, it’s annoying. You know once he lays his head on your thighs he’s not moving until the next hour or so. Kind of like a cat in that regard because Suna will find the worst time to cuddle you like that and he’d refuse to leave unless you move, which you normally don’t because when you do he looks extremely betrayed much to your dismay.

- He’s so soft for you, you wouldn’t realize it unless you heard him ramble about how cute you are in the dressing room but oh my god is he ready to move the world around for you.

- When he messes around during practice, Aran will threaten to call you and it’s so embarrassing. Rintarou was so sure he wouldn’t, like that’s so petty you’re actually going to call my S/O? And then Aran did it and he had not only Aran and Kita scolding him (and the Miya twins) but you were there too looking so disappointed in him. He rarely gets out of line afterwards, the face you gave him haunts him in his dreams sometimes.

- You’re his home screen! It’s not even a cute picture of you, it’s probably one he took of you while you slept in class - you’re drooling and your uniform is all messed up - and he’s just standing there holding a peace sign up and white-boy-smiling.

- He has you saved under “Suna [Name]” and he got made fun of, he swears it was a joke but when he goes to call you his cheeks get all pretty and pink.

- He doesn’t say much, his love language is more of a “whenever you need me I’ll be there”. If there’s someone who you can count on to listen to your problems and help you it’s probably Rin. He jokes around and all but when it comes to you he’s surprisingly serious.

- He’ll also let you play with his hair. His favorite is when you put butterfly clips on them and make two uneven ponytails on the side of his head, he said he was Shrek and you were his Lord Farquaad (you asked him if you saw the same movie afterwards).

- When he’s really bored, he’ll edit pictures of you into memes and send them to you at 4AM.

- Sometimes when you cuddle, you can hear him mumble about how much he loves you and whenever you bring it up he gets so mad and shy and says he was probably thinking about chicken wings or Dolly Parton.

- He sees you as his best friend and s/o, he really values the input you have but that doesn’t mean he won’t tease the fuck out of you. He’s soft but he will absolutely obliterate you, he loves joking around with you and saying the dumbest shit for fun and seeing you go blank as you hear him talk about fucking Mort from Madagascar being a evil universe colonizer.

- His favorite dates with you would be the ones where you go somewhere very pretty and try taking the ugliest pictures of each other, it always ends up with you two laughing loudly as you show each other what you took.

- Rin can play the piano and he sometimes will serenade you, it can either be a very emotional song or Megalovania.

- Sometimes, Atsumu and Osamu will ruin your dates by bumping into you guys and not leaving either of you alone. It’s embarrassing because they will not stop teasing the two of you for being in love and shit, you always end up blushing when they start talking about how much Rin loves you and how he talks about you during practice.

- Overall, Sunrin is surprisingly a soft, caring boyfriend who’s way too whipped for his well-being and is absolutely getting bullied by the team because of it.

[orionshounds]

I’ve been knee deep in dsmp lore streams and I just want to ramble about it

Dream smp lore is so good, it’s so good!!! Not only is the story itself just fascinating, but how it’s presented so uniquely through the medium of minecraft of all things is just so cool. One of my favorite parts of the lore is seeing how everyone on the smp has their own “style” they present it in, and watching them find the way they find the most enjoyment in is so cool. Literally no two streamer’s lore stream quite like each others and it’s just incredible! It just speaks to the flexibility of roleplay as an artistic medium and really shows everyone’s individual personalities. 

Wilbur was dramatic as hell and wrote eloquent speeches. He started a drug operation under the guise as a country, and it lead to a revolution in which he was able to explore the spiral of a man who loses control of everything he had built. And after his arc and he wanted a break from the server? He created ghostbur, an amnesic comic relief with just enough touch of tragedy that he is still able to make heartbreaking monologues when he wants to.

Tommy is able to run around with his friends and cause as much chaos to his heart’s extent, but there is so much more than meets the eye. He is incredibly social and isn’t afraid to start conflict with a lot of people, bringing them into the roleplay. He doesn’t back down from storytelling either. His character goes through terrible situations and he fully explores the trauma that comes from those experiences. His character goes against the “stereotypical” trauma I see alot in media; instead of being shy or scared he’s reactionary, he’s angry, he’s violent, he’s depressed. I’m actually really impressed with the heavy subject matter this 17 year old teen has managed to portray (I’ve connected with it quite personally at certain points), while still being able to keep the light hearted fun that’s so intrinsic to his personality. 

Tubbo isn’t really interested in serious lore as much. Even in dire moments he tells jokes and just has fun. So, in his recent lore, he just streams as normal while putting mysterious writing on screen that he doesn’t acknowledge or have to explain, which I think is just a genius work around for him to participate in lore. He still has his dedicated lore streams sometimes, and when he is in the acting zone he has some of the most powerful moments out of everyone on the server.

Ranboo, while having stake in the greater smp lore, is much more character focused. He presents his lore through long monologues and fucking heart-wrenching voice acting. He loves working in themes of horror and causing a specific feeling in the viewer. So he chooses specific music as a themes for events/characters and creates visual queues in his overlays to draw out that desired reaction. He also values improve a LOT, if something unexpected comes up he just runs with it and he has made huge changes to his lore as early as 30 min before a stream.

Technoblade, while arguably one of the most powerful people on the server, prefers a more light-hearted yet dramatic approach to lore. When Dream was at his house looking for Tommy, Techno had no problem joking around and making fun of him for being homeless. He tore down an entire nation on the server and had so much fun doing it! He’s more of an antagonist than a true villain in my opinion. And lets not forget how dedicated he is to the game, he’s cracked at the craft. He spends hours grinding and creating farms on the smp, for amazing pay offs (his several vault reveals, the withers, etc), most of which weren’t even on stream!

Karl Jacobs is extremely social, so he created Tales from the smp as a way to involve TONS of people in lore while exploring the past and future of the server (it was also a way for viewers who weren’t that well versed in dsmp lore to join and not have to worry about it!). And through this premise, he took the opportunity to develop his own character on the smp; making an incredibly tragic story of a time traveler trying to save his home while slowly loosing his memories. Not to mention the beautifully shot cutscenes of the Inbetween and the Other Side. He includes so many people behind the scenes as well, collabing with other members on lore, hiring building teams and people to make intros and credit scenes, and promoting fanart and fansongs from the community!

Quackity explores his lore through heavily scripted events and amazingly shot cut scenes. While the way he expresses his lore comes at the cost of improv, the payoff of the visuals and story is well worth it! The shots he makes of the smp is downright gorgeous, no to mention he’s the first person to include irl footage in his lore (not counting facecams)! He’s not afraid of thoroughly examining his own character, being one of the only people I can think of that shows us “past events” leading up to something that has already happened.

Badboyhalo, Antfrost, Ponk, Skeppy, Captain Puffy, Punz, Awesamdude, Hannahxxrose all work together on shared lore and the payoff is amazing! By introducing the Egg, a constant antagonistic force that constantly pulls on character’s relationships with each other, everyone is able to stream together to battle for or against the egg! There’s also plenty of room for people to do individual lore that's more intimate to their respective character. They spend hours changing vines, putting up posters, slowly shaping the smp in a way that makes it exciting to watch streams to see just what has changed everyday. Because there’s so many people necessary to tell the egg’s story, it does comes at the cost of time (the egg has been around FOREVER). However, they all work together super hard and I just admire their commitment to the story they’re trying to tell!

And Sam! He has several different “Modes” his character is in (and an entirely separate character, Sam Nook) that he gets to explore lore with. He’s a terrifying warden, he’s a money motivated businessman, he’s a conflicted lover, he’s a traumatized victim of the egg, and just so much more. Through having so many different “roles” in the rp he gets to explore relationships and plotlines with a whole array of people. Not to mention he’s absolutely cracked at redstone and has some of the most impressive builds on the server.

And Puffy! So much of her lore is calling into question the morality of the server and really makes you step back and think critically about the characters. Her character also has, in my opinion, one of the most interesting relationships with Dream, the main antagonist of the entire server, which is just fascinating to watch unfold. Not to mention she’s one of the first people to start exploring the backstory of her character!

George doesn’t exactly do lore. In fact he’s slept through so much of it it’s become a meme. And you know what? That mad man took that and ran with it. He explains his absence in the story by having his character literally being asleep through it, creating mystery where there used to just be an absence. He’s able to goof off with his friends and have borderline nonsensical streams, then at the end sucker punch the audience emotionally by “waking up” and have the viewers question just what was real and what wasn’t?

The smp has the freedom for people who want more independent lore to be able to explore their character’s that way as well!

Hbomb, Connereatspants, and Purpled don’t have a lot of lore on the smp, generally only coming on to have fun with everyone, but when they do have their moments it unfolds in very interesting ways!

Sapnap, Eret, and Schlatt maybe aren’t as active as some other people, but when they are on they actively participate in lore and have lasting impacts on the story (Ex: Eret’s betrayal, Sapnap’s visit to dream in the prison, Schlatt becoming president).

Philza mostly does his own thing, improving the server or making some bomb ass builds. He has incredibly devastating roles in lore (killing wilbur, blowing up L’manberg for the final time, starting the syndicate with Techno), but he also has quieter moments that speak to the depth his character has, such as fishing with fundy or reminiscing about his dead son and how it went so wrong. Like Techno, he doesn’t like to take lore completely seriously, often laughing no matter what’s happening or teasing chat after something big goes down, but his character is solid with a lot of potential for future lore.

Foolish has only started on his character and its already super interesting. The hints at his dark past as a “god of death” and his current conflict with the egg are intriguing as fuck. Not to mention the MASSIVE builds he does for everyone, helping to progress their lore as well.

Fundy has a lot of freedom with his character to participate however much he wants in lore. While generally he’s a trickster who loves to prank people he has enough tragedy build into his backstory he’s able to break the viewer’s heart with a flip of a switch. Not to mention his recent, almost surreal, stream that explored his character’s disturbing dreams that may or may not predict the future.

Niki is very character driven, exploring her character's grief of losing her best friend and her anger of being ignored in the very country she helped create. She has incredibly emotional moments, and even though she’s on her own building an underground city she still participates in other lore via teaming with jack manifold or the syndicate.

Jack Manifold’s lore is VERY character focused, and while he’s described his story as a “B plot that occasionally intersects with the main plot”, the story he tells is still fascinating. Being pushed aside not taken seriously his whole life, his character develops into a fun cartoony-esque villain who begs to be taken seriously, that has the depth of a truly conflicted person who is torn between wanting revenge on everyone who’s done him wrong and just wanting a friend.

Last but not least, the man himself, Dream. The most fascinating thing about his lore is that absolutely none of it is from his pov. All we know about his character is only from what we see from everyone else’s povs, and in his case it leads to a very intimidating villain! Not to mention, mans owns the damn server and yet has made himself the main antagonist! He is the only character I consider a “true villain” on the smp. His voice acting and writing is downright sinister. I could write a fucking essay on how his character’s obsession with power has led him to the point he thinks himself an unstoppable god

Everyone on this server is stunning and I love all of them!!!!!

[jonnnysuh]

could we get along with svt in real life?

A collaborative series by @vernonsnostrils and me (Nala)!

A/N: Lately Bee and I have been doing daily rankings for fun and we decided to share our very very specific and dumb insights with all of you. For this one we're ranking who we think could tolerate us......... <3 Warning: Dumb info ahead

NALA:

13.Wonwoo – looks scary. I also have a rbf so imagine us together omg. Everyone would think we’re vampires. No one would want to be friends with us so we’d only have each other.

12.Woozi – I feel like I know nothing about him :-( He’s an amazing musician, and does come off as a little tiny bit mischievous. I feel like Woozi is the type of guy I have every class with but then we graduate never saying a word to each other.

11. Jun – I think Jun is funny as hell but he’s so quiet. I’d want to be his friend but I wouldn’t know how to approach him. Everyone loves him tho so he has his pick of friends and it does not include me LMAO

10. Jeonghan – (this one kind of doesn't make sense bc he should be higher on the list,, but also?? i'm the one who made this list so fite me) but I think that me and him are pretty similar. We both have a side that’s devious and wants to create havoc but we’re also the mom friend that takes care of everyone and with that I feel like we’d butt heads/ be the designated parents which is EW I am 20 years old,, I'm no one's mommy YUCK.

9. Joshua – he’s also quiet but I know he has a good sense of humour!!!! Hypes up my bad ideas bc he’s not involved -- but he will be giving me a thumbs up in the sidelines. I feel like he’s the type to make me text the guy I have a crush on “Just do it. What do you have to lose?” UM my dignity??? Tf Josh.

8.DK – The human version of a “pick-me-up” He is so “no thoughts, head empty” and I am too. Let’s go cloud watching !!!!!!!!! Let���s pick flowers !!!! A good friend to text on a bad day bc he will literally tell you the most embarrassing thing that happened to him, and even though you’ve heard it before it’ll still make you laugh.

7. The8 – simple, really. He likes art and I love art. He likes fashion, I like fashion. I feel like we could talk shit together LMAO. He has the most specific roasts but they’re always on point. I need someone who’s a little bit mean in my life <3

6. Mingyu – I know I could bully him jokingly and he’d take it (bc he knows I’m joking) but it wouldn’t stop him from pouting a bit. I feel like he’d be scared of me at first LMAO. We both share the hobby of photography so my ideal day out with him is just wandering around with cameras and taking pics of things we think are beautiful. Also forcing each other to pose in front of a dirty brick wall bc “IT LOOKS COOL, TRUST ME.” “WAIT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO POSE THO” and then he’d literally have to mold me into a good pose bc I am Play-doh

5. Vernon – The calm to my crazy, convinces me not to beat someone’s ass. Walks into my room to say nothing else but “Spaghetti” and then leaves quietly. Doesn’t talk to me for 5 months but will send me a meme at 5am bc it reminded him of an inside joke we had. Live-texts his emotions to me while watching tv shows, and shares new conspiracy theories with me. He’s a little bit too chill, I need someone ready to fuck shit up.

4. S Coups – is reliable and gives good advice bc he’s also a ball of anxiety. Nags me to do the right thing. Messes with me a lot. Would stay on the phone with me if I was home alone and told him I heard a noise. Says “Calm down there’s no one there.” BUT he’d also say shit like “check under your bed”

3. Seungkwan– I feel like we’re just as annoying as each other. He has the biggest heart and is super encouraging and thoughtful. Half the time we’re joking around, and the other half we’re fighting. Very much love-hate. Capricorns and virgos are a superior duo. I said it.

2. Hoshi– all round good vibes. Chaos and Loudness matched. Doesn’t always have to be around a lot of people bc he creates the fun when it’s just us two. The kind of friend I practice flirting on and everyone’s like ??? “You’re in love with him” no bro I’m just bored… we just do this kind of shit and he is IMMUNE to my lovey antics by now.

1.Dino– We bully each other a lot but we also have each other’s backs. Definitely not ride or dies tho bc we will tell each other when the other fucked up. We are sarcastic dumb dumbs and that’s why we like each other. I feel like he would only tell me how much he cares about me on my birthday.

BEE:

13. mingyu – i literally don’t know what i would say to mingyu. “tall man” or “what up big boy.” i would be scared of him until someone taught me how not to be. like i gotta hang out with him in a group setting for three months straight until i can say hi to him when i enter a room. if i saw him i would simply just Not See Him.

12. wonwoo – like mingyu i don’t know if i’d have anything to say to him. him and mingyu both have popular high school boy personalities and that scares me.

11. josh – besides being californian, i don’t know if we’d have anything to talk about outside of in n out and traffic. he’s too pretty for me.

10. The8 – i feel like we’ve been over this for me. he’s too intellectual and polite i wouldn’t have much to say to him. but i feel like we could talk good shit about other people.

9. jun – i think i get along well with people with quiet funny personalities. like the kind where you don’t have to necessarily say anything but look at them and they’re telling you what they’re thinking. he knows that i know. so he kept reacting and looking at me. i think it’d take a while to develop a friendship though.

8. jeonghan – i wanna cause chaos with jeonghan. i want to do lots of things with jeonghan i feel like he would give me piggyback rides while sliding with his socks on the floor. he would tease me and i would be offended for five minutes while he pretends to tell me he’s sorry (he’s not).

7. dino – dino and i would be like twins building a sandcastle on the beach. that’s our vibe. like the kids you meet on vacation and play pirates with at the pool. relegated to the kids table kind of vibe.

6. scoups – he’s like the type to play catch with the stuffed animal in the room while we sit on the floor and chat. like he just arrived and is asking me about my day and picks it up from my bed and we throw it around while talking.

5. seungkwan – i think seungkwan and i could sit and talk outside on the patio when the stars are bright. like we could sit outside and stare out at the stars while i talk about my biggest dreams and don’t even need to see him to know that he thinks the world of me

4. hoshi – i see a lot of face masks. hoshi teaches me how to dance while they rest on our faces, but they keep sliding off because we’re laughing too hard. he has immaculate vibes, like the type to say “here for a good time not for a long time” but it’s an absolute lie because he’s there for both.

3. woozi – although i like to joke that he’s an evil little man, i think we could talk a lot about music and he would be very happy to teach me what he knows, and we’d spend a lot of time developing ideas and growing together.

2. vernon – he has the personality of my irl best friend, like a slightly chaotic aquarius who is horrendously hard to reach like 99% of the time. he’s the kind of guy who would try to make dinner but end up fucking it up so horribly that when i come in it’s like smoky and awful and the fire alarm is going off, so i have to air out the apartment and go get takeout and bring it home to my burned smelling apartment and eat it on the floor of the living room while binge watching a new netflix show.

1. dk – i just love the kind of joy and energy he radiates, like would be excited to do anything at all if it’s with me. would love to accompany me on any task if i just asked, like getting ice cream at 10pm and he’d know exactly what kind of flavor he’d get so it could accompany mine well when we inevitably switched halfway through the cone. saves the bottom of the cone, the chocolate tip, for me because he knows it’s my favorite.

[fonulyn]

So I'm reading this sad Chreon story - as one does (it's me, I'm one) - and I just had the weirdest epiphany? Like, I dunno, it's probably dumb and far from a hot take or some eye opening character analysis no one has done before but I noticed that people (including myself, so like not saying this in any kind of bad way) tend to write Leon as stand offish, apathetic, and cold. Like this story stated it specifically, said something along the lines of "this is what Leon gets for cultivating a reputation for being unapproachable, apathetic, and indifferent" and the insinuation there is that he's done this on purpose, put on this front to seem unaffected by things when in the presence of others, and I think it's pretty true for his character. Like anything post RE2, Leon is kind of. I dunno, I wanna say deadpan? He seems to express v little emotion, and when he does it's usually in the form of a quip, one-liner, or snarky come back. Sometimes awkward small talk lol. But it feels like he's built this wall, this persona around himself, not just to protect himself from losing more people (bc he probably sees it as some kind of inevitability, and with his track record I certainly wouldn't blame him), but to protect people from him. This poor man has spent so long fighting, trying to save people, and even tho he saves the day in the end, so many people get lost in the process, and Leon feels every single loss personally. Right off the bat we see it every time someone dies in RE2, then again in RE4 with Luis, who he knew for a short period of time and yet mourned so heavily for, and even Krauser to an extent. Leon is someone who is quick to trust, even as he gets older, and we see that in RE Vendetta, too. Like that's probably one of the big reasons he's so devastated after losing his team. Not only was he entrusted with a group (which doesn't happen often, as far as we have seen), but he probably put his trust in them as well, including Petrucio, the man who betrayed them. I just think Leon is such a complex character who hides so much of himself (which is convenient for bad writers at Capcom who can't write good dialogue to save their lives lmao, but I also think it's a decent part of his character now), probably so what happened in RE2 doesn't happen again. Bc that shit was probably so traumatizing, and Leon was still a baby! I'm only a year older then he was at the time of RE2 but like, as humans our brains don't finish growing until age 25, so that kind of trauma at that age is for sure gonna stick with you, and it seems he picked up some unhealthy coping mechanisms from it that's more than just his drinking problem. Anyways I guess I just wanted to rant about how Leon is the most "emotionless" character in RE but in reality he feels and cares so much, so much so that if he doesn't put up that mask of indifference then he'll destroy himself. This man would die so that others could live, he's saved the world multiple times without a care for himself past the need to finish his mission and keep as many people as possible safe. He's such a tragic character and I love him so goddamn much, like he's one of those characters who you aspire to be like, in a way. Selfless, capable, dependable, reliable, smart, passionate, caring. And some of this might be my own character building I've done based off of other headcanons and character analysis posts and stories I've seen, but I do think we see a lot of this in the canon content, too. I just really love Leon S Kennedy, okay? He makes me sad but also so so happy and I love him v much, he is a big time comfort character for me. Sorry for the rant, just needed to scream about this with someone who would understand lol 😅

oh anon, I get you, I dooo. I think that you're right in that Leon has kind of this shell around himself because it's the only way he can cope. but there are so many cracks in his shell, and he lets people in so readily even when it would stand to reason that he shouldn't trust anyone anymore. he gets attached to people lightning fast, and he'd die for them even when he's barely met them.

this borders on headcanon territory, definitely, but I tend to often write him as someone who gets attached easily and falls for people easily (be it friendship or romantic or anything), but then he doesn't know how to properly let people in because he's got his defense mechanisms, he's trying to keep himself from breaking, and what if he truly lets someone past those walls and then another disaster strikes and he never recovers from it?

and I think it shows a lot in how he's so awkward with small talk, he can throw in one-liners and dad jokes and try to keep his own (and anyone else's) spirits up with that. but oh man. beyond that? the boy doesn't know how to naturally talk to people. (even like in Infinite Darkness, with Claire, I think his "don't do anything stupid" was 100% meant to be a joke, both times, but it just didn't exactly land perfectly. poor awkward bby)

but like even though he might put up this unaffected front, he's still so very expressive? like... if you really pay attention to him? he's far from actually an expressionless and cold person. he just isn't very loud about it. (i was just going through ID screencaps yesterday and while Shen May is talking and Leon is on the background, he goes through such a journey in expressions alone :'D)

AND HE CARES. like, for example in Infinite Darkness, he sees Patrick is shaken and the first possible moment he has, he immediately asks him if he's okay and takes a moment to reassure him. they're in a hurry, he's supposed to get going and not check up on a guy he's never even met before, but he does it anyway. and I think it speaks a lot of his character. he's quick to offer support and comfort, and he genuinely tries to be there for others the best he can. he desperately needs someone to listen to him in turn, seriously. give him emotional support, damnit.

and I wanna highlight what you said:

in reality he feels and cares so much, so much so that if he doesn't put up that mask of indifference then he'll destroy himself. This man would die so that others could live, he's saved the world multiple times without a care for himself past the need to finish his mission and keep as many people as possible safe.

because yes. 100%. also this:

he's one of those characters who you aspire to be like, in a way.

like. yes. there was this one meme thing going around which was basically like asking if you feel like you're like your favorite character and I'm just. I fucking wish I was one tenth of what he is :'D

I know not even he is perfect, c'mon, no such thing as perfect people exist (not even in fiction, or if they do then they'd be really damn boring :'D). i'm not trying to claim he has no flaws, or that he never does anything wrong. he has and he does. but the amount of genuine caring he shows and how hard he tries to do the right thing? truly awe inspiring.

i just. I'm right there with you. I love him so damn much. and that's why I spend most of my time writing fic where he gets at least some of that happiness he deserves :'D i need him taken care of, damnit, and if canon doesn't give him good things then i damn sure will.

[couldyouspeakmyname]

Hi! 💕 I hope I'm submitting this correctly but I'm assuming you write for the Shishigumi lions? If so, I'd like to request some sfw and nsfw headcanons for them dating a female herbivore and it's totally up to you which members you would like to write for (although Free and Agata are my favourites!)

You know I love the Shishigumi, a lot. So I went overboard. I offer my apologies.

I will say, since I usually put NSFW under cut, but due to length I put it all under cut, I do have a big warning for it as to not surprise y’all

There’s a lot I could write for them, but to keep it reasonable I kept it kinda short! Feel free to request more if you’d like!

I’m also not great at nsfw so I tried my best I hope you like it anyway

SFW

Ibuki (I love him and will never NOT include him in an ask about the Shishigumi)

Ibuki is probably the best one at dating an herbivore. He’s very gentle and conscientious of you as an animal and your limitations 

That being said, he’s top tier respectful. He knows you may not be as physically strong as her is, but that doesn’t mean you’re not strong in your own way. He also likes the idea of protecting you. 

Always walks side by side with you. He’s nervous about holding your hand, but he’d never say it. Do it for him. 

Has eaten meat for YEARS and really struggles with that part of himself. 

Doesn’t kiss you for a really long time, he’s inwardly terrified that he’s going to hurt you. You’d have to make the first move.

Keeps you away from his work. He doesn’t want you to get hurt. 

He knows his world is dark, gritty, and that you shouldn’t be a part of it. He wants to send you away, but can’t. He thinks he’s selfish. You’ll need to reassure him this is what you want. 

Herbivores can’t see in the dark, so he keeps lights on in key areas so you can see better.

Protective. If anyone gives you any trouble he’s quick to correct their behavior, he can be incredibly intimidating when he wants to be

Slouches so you’re around the same height. Give him a back/neck rub at the end of the day. It will make him feel better, and he liked being close to you

The kind of boyfriend that remembers all the major events in your relationships, including small ones. 

Once he gets comfortable, he’s a snuggle bug in private. Cheek kisses, arm around your shoulders when you’re sitting, wrapping his arms around your waist when you’re standing.

Lions can’t purr, but if they COULD oh man, he’d never stop

Free

He’s famous for enjoying females, so the fact that he’s dating someone seriously that’s not a feline is really strange

You should have seen the expression on one of the more flirty female lions when he turned them down. 

Everyone thinks he’s joking about dating you at first, when they see he’s actually serious the teasing dies down, but doesn’t stop (it’s at his expense don’t worry).

“Has hell frozen over? What’s someone like you doing with a guy like Free?”

He honestly doesn’t expect you guys to stay together for very long. He expects it to be a fling. Only it doesn’t stop. He doesn’t get tired of you or eat you....It’s weird but wonderful. 

Has eaten meat for years, and has a hard time letting himself kiss on anywhere but on the cheek. Likes to throw his arm around you and hug you. So he does show affection, but keeps his mouth FAR AWAY from your throat. 

Rests his head on top of yours 

Calls you “Babe” a lot. He has a lot of other nicknames for you to. Some of the lions don’t even know your name, just that you’re dating Free. 

Over. Protective. He knows the market, the animals in it and the animals who come to it. He is very prepared to shoot or maim anyone who tries anything. The fact he’s such a loose canon does help scare people off. Everyone knows who you’re dating and they make sure not to push it. 

He likes to show you off. He’s that guy that carries a picture of you in his wallet. Anyone who asks about him dating someone and he’ll show you off. 

“Sure she’s hot, but have you see the ass on my girlfriend?” 

Likes to show off in front of you. Fights? Yes. Please watch him and root for him.

Tries to get you to get a tattoo, but will NOT get identical ones. He doesn’t want to jinx it. If you wanna have similar tattoos though, that’d be okay. 

Dolph

A relationship with Dolph when you’re an herbivore is really low key. A lot of people don’t know you’re dating. He doesn’t want to put you in jeopardy

He’s pretty serious and it’s hard for him just to relax. He does relax when you’re alone and he knows you’re safe. 

Likes to lay his head on your chest and listen to your heart beat 

When you do go out together, you may have to initiate any hand holding.  He plays it off, but he’s secretly happy

He smokes, and you may have to get on him for that if you don’t like it. It’d be very hard for him to quit 

Will let you braid his mane, but wont keep it in if you go out

Supports your endeavors and does whatever he can to help. He may get a little to into it. You’ll say you wanna take a trip and he has everything planned out. It’s a blessing and a curse. 

Likes how small your hands are in his

When he has a hard day, just hold him. He’s heavy and will lean into you, but he just needs the support

Has to relearn how to be himself, and you really help with that. He smiles more when he’s alone with you. 

Has a really deep, gruff, morning voice

Agata

If lions could blush you bet he’d be constantly red. If you actually look close, the insides of his ears usually are

Loves holding your hand and hugs

Respects your boundaries. If Ibuki is the king of respect, Agata is the prince.

He’s still part of a dangerous organization in the black market, so when he’s working he’s all business. Only a few of the members know about you (just the inner circle). 

Agata, like most of the others, is petrified to kiss you. He probably has the worst anxiety out of anyone else. He’s a meat eater, he’s eaten your kind of meat before. What if He accidently hurts you?

Texts you all the time.

The one you can be on the phone with for hours and not know it

Likes it when you run your fingers through his mane

He’s stronger than he looks, so he may just pick you up and carry you every now and again. He just likes to hold you, let him have this

Brings you flowers and your favorite snacks whenever you have a bad day

Stammers when he’s flustered.

Likes to bury his face in your neck

He has a hard time being who he is versus how he thinks he should be. The fact he can goof off and just enjoy life without the strain of being a lion is a blessing. 

Probably says he loves you before you do. He does it when he’s half asleep on your lap. He falls asleep before he realized he said it, whoops.

You’d have to be the one to be aggressive in public. “Excuse me, he asked for no pickles”  meme

Miguel

He’s pretty quiet in his group, so no one knows you’re dating

Miguel is really good at thinking his feelings and thoughts, but isn’t great at voicing them. He does a lot of little things to show affection. He brings you a warm drink on a cold day, has food for you when you wake up, holds you hand

He likes to try and see the best in everything, even if he knows how ugly the world is

His mane is maintained carefully. Once you get really serious, he may ask you to help him with it. It’s pretty intimate, and when you’re done he looks at you like you have stars in your eyes

He’s the force of protection you don’t even know is there. He’s probably saved your life like, eight times, and never let you know that he did

Sabu

If Miguel is quiet, Sabu is dead silent

No one knows anything about his personal life, let alone his dating life

They find out one day when the group is trying to make plans for a fun sort of day, and he turns them down because you two have a date. It becomes a secret mission for the group to find out who you are.

They don’t, Sabu is the oldest member and one of the most clever

A popular headcanon is that his face is really, REALLY messed up. I share that headcanon. The first time you kiss the scars on his face he chokes up

He goes all in. he’s yours as long as you’ll have him. He expects the same respect from you. 

He’s eaten meat for a really long time, but he has more semblance of control being a smidge older than most of the other lions. 

A bit pessimistic 

Kisses you good morning and goodnight. 

Cuddles on the couch. He’ll watch whatever you want to, but he has his preferences

Wears his face covering everywhere, you’ll need to remind him he can relax when you’re alone

. If you get out of somewhere like work or school late at night, he’s waiting for you to take you home. 

So used to wearing a suit and tie, he doesn’t know how to do casual wear very well. He lets you pick most of his stuff out. 

Jinma

He knows a lot about the black market, so he’s over protective from the get go. However, since he does know so much, he knows what connections to make to keep you safe. 

Eats meat, and is self conscious that you’ll judge him for it. Please be nice to him

Kiss his eye with the spot, it makes him feel special

(Personal headcanon) His mane has never grown right, so he keeps it short. He’s kind of self conscious about it. A lions mane means a lot to male lions, he tries to keep it nice but...it’s nothing like some of the other Shishigumi’s manes. Pet it, run your fingers through it. Males don’t complimented enough. It’ll make him feel loved. 

If you ever wanna go anywhere fancy, because of his connections and knowledge, you can basically go anywhere at any time...as long as it’s in the black market, but he may know a guy that knows a guy. If there’s something more legal you need, he checks in with his other gang members to see who knows who

Has a wicked good memory, remembers pretty much everything you’ve said

Dope

A gentleman. He will hold doors open for you, offer his arm and hand when you walk together, brings you flowers. 

He, like all the Shishigumi, eats meat. He is self conscious about it an doesn’t want to scare you away. He will be upfront about it though. He wants honesty. he talks it out with you, and he will try and cut back but being part of the Shishigumi, and a meat addict, means it’s very hard for him to stop. He probably wont, not completely, but he tries not to do it around you. 

He doesn’t brag he’s dating you, but if he’s asked he gets this really peaceful look on his face

If you ever take him shopping at any flea market or outdoor stalls, he will get you the best bargain. He’s also amazing at helping you with any work contracts, apartment contracts and anything else.

Likes it when you brush his mane, and lets you put it up for him before he goes out. He doesn’t let you do anything fancy, but says when you do it it somehow turns out better

Hino

Hino is very attractive. His looks are what brings jobs in, so he keeps the fact that you’re dating a secret for business. 

Gives you extra affection in private because of it. Kisses, hugs, all that. His favorite is to kiss the back of your hand, he is kind of a romantic. 

Don’t get him wrong, he’s still a lion. If he hears that an animal is giving you a hard time, he will take them down and look handsome AF doing it

Eats meat, and like all the other lions worries for your safety. He tends to eat before he sees you, but after a while of you dating he becomes more relaxed. He doesn’t eat in front of you though. 

Spends a ton of time getting ready for the day, you may have to fight him for the bathroom 

Compliments you a lot. He uses the basic one liners at his job with older, lonely, animals. So, he uses unique ones for you. 

“I think the sun is jealous of your smile”

Totally lets your style his mane, and if you’re going out to somewhere not the black market, he’ll keep whatever style you give him. He’s confident and pulls anything off

Calls you Darling

Worst bedhead. 

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

NSFW Manage yourselves safely!

Ibuki 

It was almost impossible to get him in bed with you. He’s so worried and full of anxiety. Any mood you get in, you instantly gets ruined by him being worried he’ll eat you

You’re going to have to plan in advance and spend a lot of time talking about safety and safe words

Honestly? He does try and eat you the first time. Not intentionally and he stops himself, but to be fair to HIM as an herbivore...you almost let him

It kind of ruins the mood and you end up talking it out with him. He’s so ashamed he can’t look at you for a while. 

Once time goes by, and you move pretty slow, but it’s worth it. Sex with Ibuki is amazing

Remember how Ibuki is really diligent about your limitations and you as  an herbivore? Pays OFF when he’s with you

He’s all about foreplay and making sure you are ready and prepared before he does anything. Ibuki has big dick energy. He doesn’t brag but is blessed. But he knows that with you being smaller than him, he’s not down to hurt you with it 

 He starts keeping his nails short for you. The other guys may try and tease him for it, but Ibuki gets defensive over you and so it’s short lived.

His voice drops when he’s in the mood, and he borderline growls. You’ve been teasing him all day, you really should make it up to him

Surprisingly good at dirty talk, it kind of comes naturally to him and neither of you know why

Loves your thighs, and his whiskers tickle. 

He has big hands, and when you’re alone he may saunter up behind you and run them down your sides slowly, kissing your check and down your neck. 

Best at aftercare, no matter how tired he is, he will take care of you 

Free

Is more concerned than he lets on. He tries to pretend he’s all confidence, but he has a pretty hard time getting to the point of actually having sex with you. He actually start actively avoiding it. He blue balls himself. Someone help him.

He’s used to doing what comes natural, and what if what comes natural means hurting you? He’d rather not.

When you do finally try and have sex, he doesn’t kill you...but he does bite you. You need stitches, and he has even more of a complex (tell him he just gave you a cool tattoo or something)

He may actively avoid you or being near you. It’s a set back. He’s not like Ibuki who can talk it out, he’s supposed to be a lion, not a scaredy cat. 

You have to put your foot down. You’re dating a bad ass mafia lion, not some nervous school boy. Remind him about how much you care about him and how much you want him.

The second time goes better, but he’s a LOT more careful. he does maim a few pillows, claws the mattress. Their sacrifice is appreciated. (you two become famous for ruining and destroying beds. The other guys are both impressed and disgusted. Free has no shame)

Trims his claws so he can use them the next time. He’s learning.

This male is a womanizer, but he’s not great at doing things that females would stay for? It’s more of a hit-it-and go. He knows some tricks but...not a lot. 

Tries his best though. Loves to dig his hands in your hips. Leaves bruises. One time he got hammered and asked Ibuki for advice. Ibuki was helpful, but needed therapy afterwards. 

Rough sex 90% of the time (that other 10 is passionate sex that lasts hours, it’s pretty impressive)

Once you guys get comfortable, hope you’re okay with bite marks and kiss marks. You’d have to wear winter clothing 24/7 to hide them all. He’s VERY proud of you being his female, he doesn’t want any other male getting ideas

Turns him on if you take control. Most things you do turns him on. He’s near insatiable. You could roll out of bed, eyes still squinty, mascara from last night all over, and he’s like..man, that’s hot. Hope you’re okay with having sex in weird places, he’s going to ask. 

Not great at aftercare, but BOY can he snuggle. If you’re able to walk afterwards, you wont be able to. Clingy. 

Dolph

Wants it to happen organically, but when it finally does, he catches himself.

He’s looking at you under him, how your eyes sparkle and shine, and how vulnerable you are...And the idea that he could rip out your throat comes to mind and it terrifies him. He practically throws himself off you

You have to reassure him and talk to him. 

Dolph is careful with you the first time, and while he doesn’t bite you, he does dig his claws in a little to much. They may or may not scar. He feels bad, but he’s so in the moment he can’t help it

May drool a little. Don’t tease him until later. 

He doesn’t stop until you’re satisfied. It’s a promise. You will NOT be able to walk the next day. He’s going to make the claw marks up to you if it kills you and wakes everyone in ear shot. 

Out of all of the lions, you’re safest with Dolph. He’s ”the serious one”, which makes him practical and knowing. He actually does research and goes online to inform himself. 

Love bites. He doesn’t break skin, so you’re safe there. 

Loves it when you try and claw him. You can’t do a lot, as an herbivore, but the fact your instincts try and make you...really gets him going. 

Casual at aftercare. Better than average but nothing near Ibuki or Agata.

Not a sex maniac, and with work, it’s not high on his priority list. He’ll make up for it though ;)

Agata

Likes to pretend it’s not something he’s interested in, but he is. He just doesn’t want to pressure you, or scare you. Dating a lion is one thing, being fully exposed is another and he knows it. 

He thinks about it a lot, but doesn’t act on it. You probably will have to take the lead. Agata gets way to in his head.

The sweetest kisser ever, but when he’s heated they’re like fire. Biting your lip, you face carefully with his claws just teetering on the edge of digging in. He loves kissing you, doesn’t matter where. 

Kissing will lead to other things if you don’t stop him, but do you really want to?

Likes to pull you close, and the more heated he gets the more likely he’s going to grind on you without realizing he’s doing it

Totally whines if you stop kissing him. 

Younger than the rest of the Shishigumi, and is more prone to using his instincts. He eats meat and is afraid of hurting you, but his desire to fuck your brains out is far greater than the instinct to eat you

He does end up biting you, and uses his claws. The damage he does isn’t serious, but he still fuses over you when its over. 

Takes a while to let himself near you like that again. He beats himself up. You may have to prove to him you’re tougher than you look. 

When you try again, he makes up for his shortcomings. You’re not sleeping tonight, call in sick to work tomorrow. 

You may have to ask him to slow down. He intends to go all night, you may have to curb his enthusiasm. Don’t forget to take breaks for water so you don’t pass out. 

Wont stop until you’re satisfied. Doesn’t matter how tired he is. 

Sweet nothings in your ear non stop...between the moaning. He’s surprisingly vocal

Talk to him too. Part of the reason he cares so much about you is because you see him for who he is, not his status as a lion. 

Since he doesn’t plan having sex with you, and just lets it happen naturally, he always has things in his room for you. Just in case. Please don’t tease him about it, the other lions do that enough. 

Is totally the kind of guy to help you bathe afterwards if you want.

One of the biggest snugglebugs 

Miguel

Miguel is worried about having sex with you, but no one knows it but him. 

He’s the brawn of the group, and is strong as hell. He may end up trying to show off and you may end up in positions when you have to totally vulnerable (if it makes you uncomfortable, he’ll adjust. Just talk to him)

Muscles for days. The lion is made of stone, but has surprisingly soft touches. He knows his body and knows how to use it

He’s never had sex with an herbivore, he’s thought about it, but having sex with something he may eat later didn’t sit well with him. You are a different story. He’s thought about it a little to much

First time he has sex with you he claws you, and they’re pretty deep. You end up getting stitches. Unlike a lot of the other lions though, he doesn’t avoid you afterwards. He’s there when you get stitches, intimidating the doctor (who has a small heart attack every time Miguel moves)

Apologizes but isn’t afraid to try again. He trims his claws this time, you should really tell him the other things his fingers could be used for outside clawing your back. 

Do not mess with his mane or pull it, he’ll get grumpy. 

Loves your chest and carefully uses his tongue. Doesn’t matter what size they are, he’s a fan. 

Not very vocal, but likes it when you are. 

Sabu

Sabu is older and more controlled, so you’re pretty safe with him. 

He doesn’t seem like he’s interested in it, and since he doesn’t talk much, him bringing it up comes out of no where.

“Wanna have sex?”

Just out of no where. He doesn’t talk much so he doesn’t beat around the bush. You were just scrolling on your phone, and you nearly drop it.

He doesn’t hurt you when you have sex, not even by accident, but the couch you were on gets shredded. It looks like an animal twice his size attacked it. 

Runs his hands over your body, he can’t stop touching you. 

Kiss his scars, it sooths him, and he’ll pay you back

Loves your neck, but is careful not to leave any marks (you have no idea how he doesn’t, it’s like magic)

He doesn’t care if you leave kiss marks on him

No great with aftercare, but will make sure you’re okay and kisses your cheeks and on top of your head

Jinma

Disaster. He doesn’t mean to be, he just is

He wants it to be perfect, but while he knows everything about the black market, he doesn’t know much about having sex with an herbivore. He never really though of it, and now that he is...help him. He knows rumors of herbivore and carnivore relationships that have gone wrong so...he kind of freezes up. That, and he hasn’t been in a lot of long term relationships. 

While the others do their research, Jinma goes way to into it and becomes a bit overwhelmed, but hides it. 

You end up having to take control. For someone who knows the black market like the back of his hand, Jinma is the student and you are the teacher. You’re an herbivore, and you’re going to show him just how much you know (you are the captain now)

He bites you, and he does break the skin, but he just closes his mouth and allows you to decide if you wanna continue or stop

He starts keeping a med kit in his room just in case. 

He gets better, the more he learn and the more serious he is with you. Soon he’s compiling a book of knowledge on you.. He knows where to touch to make your toes curl, what to say, and your weak spots

He takes everything he learns and uses it against you one night. He’s a fast learner. 

 Dope

Part of negotiations is to know what a person wants and what they will go through to get it. So, when you bring it up, the look in your eyes is all it takes for him to know he needs to take you serious. 

Usually his kisses are quick and satisfying, but once he actually starts to seriously kiss you its like it’s the last time he’s going to do it. 

Likes to have you in his lap. Seeing your face is important to him. Every movement and actions of your body paints a picture of what you want. 

Third best at foreplay, what drags him down is he watches you to the point that he forgets what he’s doing

When you first have sex, he ends up clawing your hips and biting your lip to hard. You lip bleeds a little and his nails break the skin.  He’s a little worried, but if you don’t tell him to stop he’ll get permission to keep going. 

Ends up also biting you, but nothing to terrible or life altering. 

He loves watching you, body language tells a person a lot about someone, so no matter where or how, he likes seeing your face. 

Afterwards, he makes sure you’re okay, and comfortable, He does the basics, but doesn’t go overboard 

May leave a kiss mark or two, but it’s accidental. He doesn’t want to embarrass you (even if seeing you with kiss marks makes the animal in him deeply satisfied)

Hino

Hino knows a females body like no other. He’s not exactly promiscuous, but he likes being satisfied

Since dating you, he hasn’t been with any other females, he’s very needy. He’s not as bad as Free, but he’s getting there.

You have no idea how he seduces you every time, one moment you’re making tea, the next, you’re on the kitchen counter 

The first time you try and have sex with him, he claws you way to hard and you end up having to get stitches and fixed up. He feels awful and can’t look you in the eye. He swears he will NEVER do it again

He never does, he keeps to his word

Unlike some of the other lions, the fact he hurt you doesn’t keep him away. He feels bad, but now he’s going to try twice as hard to make sure every time he has sex with you is amazing.

Wont stop until you’re satisfied, and just seems to naturally know your body and what you like.

While he’s composed in public, you get to see a little wild in his eyes when he fucks you. He has this low growl that rumbles through his chest that you feel deep in your body the tighter he holds you

Probably has had sex with you on most surfaces in your home. 

Above average at aftercare. He tries, but having more one night stands than not hasn’t equipped him for great aftercare. He learns though. 

[calciumcryptid]

{ Sero Hanta | Streamer AU }

Sero Hanta, better known by his online alias Cellophane, is an Ecuadorian Twitch Streamer and internet personality. He is known primarily for his video game commentary, and memes.

Career

Sero Hanta created his twitch account in **** under the persona of Cellophane. He began to stream soon after he was fully moved into his first apartment. He started his career by playing older Spiderman games, talking about the characters and their comic history. He eventually started to play more older Marvel games, continuing to talk about the characters and their comic history.

After a while he applied for the Twitch affiliate program, which he obtained soon after. As a result of saving his vods on a YouTube channel and using TikTok as a promotion source, he started averaging one hundred viewers per stream.

His popularity really boomed when fellow streamer Kirishima Ejirou, better known as Red Riot, raided him with a thousands viewers. Sero was quick to adapt to the influx, and later became friends with Red Riot and his friends.

In ****, Sero was invited to the premiere of Into the Spiderverse II, which he was thrilled about.

Criticisms & Controversies

On ****, Sero Hanta announced he was banning words related to drugs. When asked about it, he explained that it got exhausting to purge his chat of those who made drug and drug dealer jokes, even ones that poked at his laid-back nature.

While he knew most of them were jokes, it got draining real fast as the jokes were rooted in racist stereotypes. Not to mention the fact they were still made despite Sero being a huge advocate for healthy eating. Sero went on to say he had always been a naturally calm person, and that it being chalked up to perceived drug use made him upset. Sero said it was nice to see his friends support his decision.

Personal Life

Sero Hanta has several siblings, varying in ages, but refuses to feature his siblings in his content due to not wanting to compromise their privacy.

He will take streaming haitus in order to help his family's farm with mass harvests and planting.

Sero has Amblyopia, better known as lazy eye, that he got from a nasty case of frostbite when he was younger. He sometimes wears and eye patch on stream over the affected eye. Doctors have told him it is past the point of treatment, but it doesn't bug Sero that much.

Sero Hanta started to date fellow content creator Kaminari Denki in ****, and later started to date content creator Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu as well.

Bonus Trivia + Headcanons

The symbol of Marvel's Spiderman encompasses a space on Sero's left shoulder.

Sero Hanta is naturally left handed, but taught himself how to be ambidextrous from a young age.

Sero's favorite foods include oranges, soy products, and anything else he finds healthy.

Sero calls his fans his Office Supplies. It has become a joke among his fandom to group themselves into factions base on what office supply they identify as. Some of Sero's friends have even participated in this.

Fans can redeem a channel point reward which requires Sero to speak Spanish for a full minute. There is a similar one which allows fans to redeem Sero speaking Japanese for a full minute.

Sero has been sited as the most cutthroat bonus mod in his friends channels, not appreciating his friends being slandered.

@floof-ghostie @insomniac-jay @pizzolisnacks