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calliesmemes · 2 months ago

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YET ANOTHER ROUNDUP OF ASOLUTELY UNHINGED COMEDIC RELIEF

ASSORTED SENTENCE STARTERS FROM AROUND THE INTERNET, including quotes from Tumblr, Pinterest, TikTok, and X (formerly known as Twitter), for when a muse wants to be a bit silly <333

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

❛ I am not merely a clown; I’m the entire damn circus! ❜

❛ I will bite you if you continue this behavior. ❜

❛ Being a dramatic ass bitch isn’t a personality trait; it’s a lifestyle! ❜

❛ Trauma? Oh … you mean, my lore? ❜

❛ why must I cite sources? is it not enough to just say ‘trust me, bro’? ❜

❛ sorry for being a perfect sweetie and a genius it will likely happen again. ❜

❛ forget about touching grass; I need to touch WATER I NEED TO GO INTO THE OCEAN I NEED TO DIVE INTO THE SEA!!! ❜

❛ I’m attracted to men with muppet energy and no i will not be explaining. ❜

❛ you want me to make friends with people? the thing that killed julius caesar? ❜

❛ what’s your birthstone? mine is rock bottom. ❜

❛ I absolutely hate that I’m not bioluminescent. Pathetic. ❜

❛ ohhhhh my god i have got to stop mourning the past or whatever. ❜

❛ you expect me to act like a normal human being? I’m wearing a turtleneck! ❜

❛ i don’t struggle with same sex attraction I’m actually very good at it. ❜

❛ unfortunately i often find out without even getting the chance to fuck around. ❜

❛ I’m bisexual which means that I’m attracted to anybody who can defeat me in physical combat. ❜

❛ all anyone needs to know about me is that i’m a dumbass and i love women. ❜

❛ sorry but philosophers aren’t impressive i came up with stuff like that when i was 12. ❜

❛ I pay my own bills; I can cuss all I want! ❜

❛ I don’t have rizz; I have sad eyes and a weird presence. ❜

❛ my demons are chasing me and they’re doing the Naruto run. ❜

❛ honey we are ALL doomed by the narrative. it's not that serious. have some fun with it. ❜

❛ dating me is like interviewing a psych ward patient. ❜

❛ being a girl with very large brown eyes comes with great responsibility. ❜

❛ i’m autistic in ways that you can’t even begin to imagine. ❜

❛ being a loser may be a phase to you but its a lifestyle for me. ❜

❛ entering a magical portal in the woods would fix me. ❜

❛ I’m lonely but not in a hot mysterious way; more like in a pathetic way. ❜

❛ life is so unserious just say womp womp and move on! ❜

❛ you’re vibing? In this economy? ❜

❛ just because I’m small doesn’t mean I can’t kick your ass. ❜

❛ my primary motivators are fear, spite, and aesthetic longing. ❜

❛ sorry about the chaos; I needed attention. ❜

❛ WHAT IS UP GIRL you look foreboding and malicious! ❜

❛ baby i can be your problematic bi wife. ❜

❛ i don’t think any of you understand how important i am to the plot. ❜

❛ what if we are both red flags? what then? ❜

❛ any dream can be a prophetic dream if you’re willing to do some really weird shit. ❜

❛ my hobbies include being right, being gay, and being a hater. ❜

❛ i have a phd in Loving The Color Pink And Also Glitter. ❜

❛ being a menace to society is a full time job and I am dedicated. ❜

❛ my life has been a bouquet of oopsie daisies. ❜

❛ i survive on spite, anxiety, and blasphemy. ❜

❛ if you’re not obsessed with me, why would I wanna be with you? ❜

❛ the hottest thing a man can be is a little afraid of me. ❜

❛ my love language is being a hater. ❜

❛ i don’t get enough credit for acting far less insane than i actually am. ❜

❛ the A in my name stands for always right. ❜

❛ Jesus is my homeboy but God has a lot to answer for and I will continue to be rebellious until he does so. ❜

❛ I’ll see a man with long hair and then remember that I’m not above temptations of the flesh. ❜

❛ i’m going to be honest with you I’m not going to be honest with you. ❜

❛ stop asking me if I’m ok I’ll literally make out with you. ❜

❛ part of my masculine charm is that I’m literally insane. ❜

❛ are you sure those are demons bro? or are they consequences from the choices you made? ❜

❛ i do not identify as a boy or a girl. i identify as a nuisance, an irritant, a fool, and a problem. ❜

❛ praying on someone’s downfall isn’t enough i need to participate in it. ❜

❛ we all need to chill. i won’t do it first but it’s something i noticed. ❜

❛ not to sound like a Victorian woman suffering from hysteria but going to the sea would fix me. ❜

❛ the silly goose convention called; they asked if you could be their keynote speaker. ❜

❛ i deserve unrestricted access to old castles and old churches i want to know all the secrets. ❜

❛ doesn’t matter if you’re cringe or based we’re all just here to suffer. ❜

❛ I’m no longer comedic relief I’m now serious panic. ❜

❛ this is getting difficult to romanticize. ❜

❛ done healing my inner child. next up is my inner teen. her highness needs a sword. ❜

❛ i am God’s silliest experiment. ❜

❛ i’m very vulnerable right now if anyone wants to take advantage of me. ❜

❛ sorry i overshared do you still think im hot? ❜

❛ I can yap for days and still maintain my air of mystery. ❜

❛ good luck sending me mixed signals; I don’t even understand normal ones. ❜

❛ not all of your life decisions have to be smart. some can be purely for cinematic value. ❜

#askbox meme #askbox prompt #rp ask meme #ask box #roleplay sentence meme #sentence starters #roleplay prompts #roleplay sentence starters #* sentence meme #rpc help

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venomhoundfanworks · 1 month ago

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Hazbin Hotel - Petname Headcanons Part 2

OH HEY. Its the heavily requested post that yall probably gave up on (because its been literal months)! Right before my holiday hiatus! OOF. Anyway, lineup is Adam, Angel Dust, and Husk. I hope yall like it, and happy holidays ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

The first part (and my other work) can be found on my masterlist!

Contents/WARNINGS: Gender neutral reader; talks about what yall like to be called during sex; daddy kinks; casual reminder that Angel may be canon gay, but trans and non-binary people exist so please don't be stupid in comments. :))) (18+), MDNI, NSFW below the cut ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

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Adam ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

What He Calls You

Bitch

No, but seriously. Being with Adam is one of those weird relationships where you both are like 'whats up, bitch?' to eachother and its fine?? Your ""terms of endearment"" are less endearing and more casually insulting.

Honestly, its probably one of the main reasons Adam fell for you. Your headstrong and don't take shit from anyone. Including him. Hence why he tends to call you feisty , wild thing, or spice girl (yes, for those gentlemen out there; Adam will also call you spice girl).

Like everything Adam does though, these names can be very double edged. He will use them when he is praising you or cheering you on; such as when your getting in another angel's face, "YEAH, thats my spice girl! You tell them!" But he will also use the names sarcastically when your getting in his face and telling him off, "Woah, woah, calm down feisty."

Everything is said in jest however. Adam won't call you anything that legitimately hurts your feelings or hits on a sore spot. He just likes to tease and his toxic masculinity won't let him be too sweet on ya. On that topic...

You better hope Adam doesn't find out about any particular insecurities you have. Because he will hone in on them and make it a point to constantly be talking about how much he loves whatever it is. Adam is like a weird combination of football coach and personal hype guy.

Your self conscious about your chest? Adam is now walking around calling you sugar tits. Don't like your ass? Adam now makes a point to smack it in public and starts calling you peachy. Think your voice sounds terrible? He now calls you his little birdy and talks about how much he loves to make you ""sing"" for him. (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Don't challenge Adam when it comes to naming things. He was the one tasked with naming everything in Eden so he is really good at it. No matter what your insecurity is, he has a petname to beat it.

What You Call Him

Adam appreciates a partner who can dish it as well as take it. So he is gonna like sarcastic nicknames for himself as well. Just keep them playful and not actually mean. Adam is surprisingly sensitive under the macho exterior he projects.

So you have to be careful about crossing a line and actually hurting his feelings. If this happens, Adam will have a hard time admitting that it hurt him, instead opting to fake laugh and go uncharacteristically quiet.

Play into his ego by calling him things like rockstar, soldier, guitar hero, or legend. Use these with sass for that extra kick. Be the one goading him into doing things for a change by saying, "I thought you were a legend?" Then praise him afterwards with a, "now that's my rockstar!"

Calling him my angel will absolutely send Adam for a loop. When you first say it, Adam just goes completely silent as his expression roulettes between the different stages of grief and complete confusion.

Adam doesn't really buy into the whole heaven and angels are inherently flawless/good thing. So when you call him "your angel" he has no idea how to respond. His brain is like, yeah that's technically true. That's a literal fact. He is an angel.

But Adam's brain is also vacillating between taking it as an insult or a compliment. Are you calling him fake? Are you saying he is perfect? Are you just trying to be cute? He has no idea.

Adam decides not to overthink it and settles on the petname just being a big ol' question mark to him. So whenever you call him it, he just playfully scoffs and rolls his eyes. He is actually okay with being clueless.

NSFW Section

Biggest daddy kink known to man. Justifiably so. He is the first dad after all. The original daddy. The very first time you two have sex, Adam is expecting you to call him daddy and referring to himself as it.

Likewise, Adam defaults immediately to calling you babe and baby in the bedroom. He will also growl out things like 'thats my girl' or 'thats my boy' when you do something he particularly likes; really emphasizing the whole daddy thing. Don't think about it too much.

If your not into the whole daddy thing, Adam just likes authoritative names in general. So you can call him names like captain or sir to rile him up as well.

Adam also secretly has a softspot for being called gentle things like sweetie, love, or just sweetheart. He will probably never be able to actually verbalize how it affects him. But you can tell by how the mood shifts during sex when you use one of them. How his eyes glaze over and his blush deepens before he pulls your bodies flush together. Adam leaves room for nothing else in between you two as he hugs you impossibly close.

Adam praises alot in the bedroom but not in a... conventional way. Yeah, he does call you things like beautiful or gorgeous; but Adam much more frequently calls you things like vixen, temptress, or seductress. Things that still call you hella sexy, but have a hint of misogyny to them. Things that imply he couldn't resist or say no to you even if he tried.

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Angel Dust ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

What He Calls You

Angel is a oddball. He doesn't really know what to do when he actually catches feelings for someone. Angel's default mode is flirt mode. So... what else is there?

Because of this, Angel Dust is kind of a dumbass at first. Yeah, he gives petnames to everyone. Except you. Angel will use every name under the sun for everyone else. But when it comes to you, your just your name. Sometimes your straight up full name. Its stiff. Its awkward. And it makes everybody uncomfortable.

Angel just wants to make sure you know your different. That he wants more then just sex. He wants you. Angel doesn't want to be seen as just the ""sex freak"" by you.

You'll probably have to suggest a petname for Angel to use. He will go along with most names as long as they aren't overtly sexual. Like I said before, he is being careful to establish this as a more then sex thing.

However, whatever name you suggest will come out of Angel's mouth just as stiffly and awkwardly as your actual name does. Angel very much sounds like one of Voxtech's robots when he uses it.

Its best if you give Angel some time to loosen up so he can come up with a petname organically. It'll take a few months of dating at least before Angel stops being so stiff and calms down.

Once he settles in, Angel only uses soft names for you. He will probably start with doll since its the most familiar to him. Then he will start sprinkling in a honey or hun...

Quickly Angel settles in and has a healthy repertoire of names for you. Your mainly hun, sugar, or darlin'. Honey has now become the name Angel uses for you when he needs something or is nervous (you know exactly the tone I'm talking about). The name doll has also now moved to only being used when Angel is in a more playful mood or the two of you are joking around.

What You Call Him

Angel is used to being called every single raunchy name in the book. So honestly? You could go that direction if you really wanted to and it wouldn't phase him.

However. What really makes Angel's knees buckle and gives him butterflies is if you use cute, soft names on him. Now that he isn't used to. Things like sweetie or precious completely throw Angel Dust for a loop. He doesn't know how to react so he just ends up giggling like an idiot.

Instead of calling him sexy or sweet legs or whatever. Call him cutie. Angel has to start laughing to hide his blush when you first use it. Then he snidely tells you 'cute' isnt a word usually associated with him. Everytime you call him it though, Angel gets the dumbest smile on his face.

More creative names like pinkie or Pinkie Pie (because he is pink and loves to PAR-TAY); sprinkles (for the spots on his face); fuzzy, fluffy, or fuzzles (because he is so soft and fluffy ! !); anything along those lines are deeply appreciated by the spider. Angel will wear these names with pride and will even use them when referring to himself.

While the creative names are Angel's favorite to brandish, they don't send him reeling like the soft ones do. So pick your poison on that one.

Angel's favorite name by far though, is when you call him lovebug. That one, is like, a perfect mix of the two categories. He always gets such a huge smile when you say it and its his favorite to use for himself. Angel will come home and be like, "Your lovebug is baaackk~"

NSFW Section

Angel tends to be fun, relaxed, and making lots of jokes during sex. I mean, come on. The spider literally has sex as his job, the last thing he wants to do is be serious when he does it for actual fun.

So you two have lots of sarcastic and corny names for eachother. You still call Angel your lovebug in the bedroom, but you also joke about how much of a superstar he is. How your superstar has to show off and one-up you in the bedroom constantly.

Also, if we are being completely honest here, Angel Dust just likes it when you call him Angel. He is so used to hearing his name growled, moaned, or pleaded during shoots by people he barely even knows that its lost its meaning at this point. He has grown completely desensitized to his own name.

But hearing his name come from your mouth, drip in ecstasy from the lips of someone he actually cares about? It makes Angel care about his name again. Angel wants to hear you shout and scream his name. Something he hasn't actually wanted in god knows how long.

Angel tends to lean more towards calling you darlin' and sugar when you two are in the heat of things. Especially the latter. Mostly because he likes to joke about how sweet you are and taste, so much so that you must be made of sugar.

When the tease dial get turned up really high, Angel starts calling you pookie or schnookums. He especially like to call you this in a baby voice while he is edging you, has you tied up, or has your arms pinned with two of his while his other two hands squish at your face lovingly. Its just Angel's way of saying your in for a wild ride~

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Husk ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

What He Calls You

The old man defaults to what he knows: Doll. Its classic, sweet, not too raunchy, and gender neutral! Perfect, jack of all trades petname. So your his doll. Full stop. If he is feeling particularly bold, he might change it to dollface. Oooooo, how adventurous!

But seriously. Its nearly always one of those two names. At least, when he is sober. You can actually tell how drunk Husk is by what names he uses for you. Sometimes the name he uses gives his mood away too.

If Husk is buzzed and in a good mood or feeling playful, your suddenly his darlin'. Emphasis on the lack of a 'G' there. This one sounds particularly good when he is drinking because he slurs it. The end of it just hangs and drags. The more playful he is, the more emphasis he will put on it too.

Husk goes back to his good ol' safename of doll if he isn't feeling too good or things are tense. However, if he actually gets upset, frazzled, or is trying to get your attention, a dolly may slip out. This is always like a weird reset button because when it slips, Husk gets so embarrassed that he just used that name for you and lowkey wants to die ohmygod.

See, the key here is Husk is still sober enough to still have shame. He is still self-aware and capable of embarrassment. However....

You have no idea where this comes from. It almost made you choke the first time you heard it. But when Husk is wasted he calls you his sugarpie. He says it with the sweetest, most chipper voice too; its absolutely surreal.

Its extra hilarious, because if you ask him to 'be serious' when he is wasted or he otherwise gets upset, Husk changes to the much more serious name of... sweetpea. Yeah. Because sweetpea has a much more serious tone. ◔_◔

Of course, when Husk uses these names, he is so far into the bottle that his shame has been completely drowned. He finds your flustered reactions absolutely adorable and his tail flicks back and forth playfully while he teases you. Or Husk is calling you sweetpea with his fur spiked and ears flattened back. Either way its hilarious.

What You Call Him

Husk is surprisingly hard to please when it comes to petnames. You either get no reaction or a negative one. Being a barkeep, Husk is probably just desensitized to being called everything because he is used to dealing with drunk people 24/7.

Hard no's are anything super sexual or things making fun of his demon appearance. So no names like wings, lovebird, or joker. He has grown to especially hate names that have anything to do with cats because of people like Alastor and Mimzy who like to use those kind of names as a way to demean him. So nothing like tom cat, kitty, or kitten either. None of that nonsense.

Other then that, Husk is pretty free game on what you call him. There are a couple notable exceptions though...

The first time you call Husk your babe or baby he is shocked and almost chokes on his drink. He has been called that before but... he didn't expect to actually like it coming from you.

After that, Husk always gets a genuine smile on his face and chuckles when you use the name. He never thought he would be someone's baby and enjoying it. But hey, life is weird sometimes.

Husk will roll his eyes and laugh if you call him daddy. He gives you one of those 'really? Your doing this?' looks, but he doesn't actually object to it. In fact, if you continue to call Husk your daddy, he will start playing along with it too.

You honestly don't know if he actually likes it and is into it; or if Husk finds the weirded out reactions people give you two utterly hilarious and just plays along for that.

NSFW Section

Husk is also pretty laissez-faire when it comes to the bedroom. He doesn't really care too much what you call him. As long as there are no cat based names.

Even if your whole daddy game escalates to the bedroom, Husk doesn't care. Again, he will give a disbelieving laugh before he starts playing along. After all, if it gets his baby off, who is he to complain?

Husk tends to take his time and be gentle in the bedroom. He has learned from experience how fast things can change, so he wants to savor you. To enjoy everything you have to offer and memorize every inch of your body in case he never gets to see it again.

But on the off chance you two are pent up or your going at it particularly hard that night, a well timed sir can decimate this man. Husk will go absolutely feral and fuck you into the wall.

You do have to be careful with this though. Because the name carries alot of baggage from Husk's overlord days. Using the name is a big gamble. If you mistime it or use it when the mood isn't right, you can send Husk spiraling into a depressed state instead.

Husk himself tends to use more saccharine names when you two have sex. He likes to use sugar, sweetie, or the infamous sweetpea. Like I said before, Husk wants to enjoy you to the fullest, and that includes expressing how much he cares about you when it counts.

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FURTHER READING ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

Since I'm going on hiatus, Im just gonna suggest some great Hazbin writers to yall! You should read everything by them in the gap~

@writteninlunarlight-years, her masterlist can be found >>HERE<<

@greenandsorrow, their masterlist can be found >>HERE<<

@nayomi247, her masterlist can be found >>HERE<<

@qu1cks1lversb1tch, her masterlist can be found >>HERE<<

Also just a big shoutout to @shae-mermaid and @kittycatkandies for being absolute sweeties and encouraging me on my blog ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

(づ๑•ᴗ•๑)づ♡ love you all

Taglist: @millie-the-goth @idk-dude46 @tayraedoll @the-screams-of-the-damned

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nyaagolor · 1 year ago

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How do you rank the prosecutors on order of homophobia

forgot about this in my drafts for literally months oops. Anyway. Finished now!!!!

So I made this post a while ago that has some of the prosecutors and antagonists, but if you want a ranking of EVERY prosecutor (not including DGS bc i haven't finished yet) huzzah!!

Simon Blackquill: Not actually homophobic but he gets points docked for siccing Taka (known homophobe) at Klavier (known bisexual) for stealing his pretzels from the office pantry that one time. 3/10

Blaise Debeste: I think he's gay but he made me look at that ugly ass beard for far too long and I consider that disrespectful. out of principle? 8/10

Sebastian Debeste: Just look at him. 0/10

Miles Edgeworth: Bratworth was simultaneously gay, homophobic, and a misogynist, and eventually develops into a man who is only like 1.5 of those things. he's getting better. 5/10

Byrne Faraday: I don't really think he cares much about gay people he's busy being a single father and stealing shit. For the apathy? 2/10

Klavier Gavin: He's extremely gay and does a lot of work for the gay community but making Ema Skye deal with him is explicitly lesbophobic so 4/10

Godot: He has a lovely wife but whatever he was doing with Ron DeLite was probably not osha-compliant. I don't know what that means for his sexuality or stance on gay people and neither does he. ?/10

Ga'ran: I think she has a lot of other problems she should deal with first but considered she's bigoted to defense attorneys I don't think her being homophobic would be that out of pocket. Not sure I want to find out. 7/10

Neil Marshall: Have you ever been a gay bar? This guy would do NUMBERS. Also, real cowboys support gay rights. 0/10

Gaspen Payne: Being homophobic is actually why he got fired by the prosecutor's office and Winston is really fucking embarrassed about it. 10/10

Winston Payne: You'd think he'd be homophobic but you can't work for the Japanifornia Prosecutor's Office and hate gay people or you would actually go insane. He's like that one suburban guy who uses terms from the 60s but has the spirit. However, his ally lapel pin is really ugly so 3/10

Jaques Portman: He was calling Edgeworth slurs even before realizing he was gay. 9/10

Lana Skye: Dated Mia in college but refused to explain that to Ema because she has a lot of internalized homophobia and other weird issues of self. Repressed yuri personified. 1/10

Nahyuta Sahdmadhi: He supports gay people but gets all his talking points from the internet so even though he's supportive he's also incredibly fucking annoying about it and no one wants to invite him to brunch because of it. Stop using twitter for fact-checking you jackass. 2/10

Franziska Von Karma: Despite the fact that her lesbianism is so strong it borders on misandry, I think she has a lot of internalized homophobia so she spends the first 25 years of her life being a judgmental little shit. She'll get better dw about it. I believe she can bring that number down with time. 6/10

Manfred Von Karma: I think when he finds out Edgeworth is gay he starts going to gay bars and picking up dudes just to show Edgeworth he has way more rizz than him. Considering how people in my notes have told me on numerous occasions how much they want him carnally, I think he could actually pull it off. In that respect I think he's done a lot for the gay community. It ends up cancelling out somewhat because I think he'd be kind of an ass about it. 4/10

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sylveon-and-velveon · 11 months ago

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Playing "4 Big Guys" around the slashers

Shitpost idea has been made, so here XD

This will include: Michael Myers {OG & RZ}, Brahms Heelshire, Jason Voorhees, Billy Lenz, Freddy Krueger, Stu Macher, Billy Loomis, Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Sawyer, Harry Warden, Tiffany Valentine

Feel free to request any shitpost writing prompt ideas you can think of in my asks, I love silly non-serious ideas XD

Given the music is VERY adult related, this is 18+ ONLY

OG Michael Myers

Ain't gonna lie, the second you play that song he's probably staring at you instantly. Anger? Disappointment? Cursing your entire family and possible future children? Who knows! It's Michael-Fucking-Myers baby!!!

He's not used to anything sexual overall so hearing a song openly sing about gay sex, and in such a detailed way, would worry him. Not for the singer, no- more on your taste in music.

And don't even get me started on when he hears about shit being involved. The second he hears that being mentioned he's turning off the music entirely, patting your head, and dragging you away so you'll listen to something he likes instead to cleanse that weird mind of yours. Like... Kate Bush or something.

He'd like Kate Bush right? He looks like a Kate Bush enjoyer.

RZ Michael Myers

Judging you, hard. Though he ain't saying it. His aura is practically smellable he's judging you so hard.

Does he like it? No. It's loud, obnoxious, and profound filled. Ignoring the obvious "gay sex and other weirdness" part, the volume of the music reminds him of his childhood.

He's smashing the device the music is coming from. He doesn't care if it's your MP3 all the way to a damn TV or Alexa, he's smashing that shit to pieces if it means he doesn't need to hear it anymore.

What would he put on instead? Calming ambient noises that play for hours on end on YouTube. It's the exact opposite of whatever hellscape you just played. It's better.

Brahms Heelshire

Well first of all it ain't classical, so that's a point on the "I Hate This" list.

Second it's not a piano.

Third it's literally "4 Big Guys"-

Not only is this poor man confused about everything the singer is saying, I highly doubt his parents explained LGBTQ+ to him, he's also hating how loud it is.

"Who puts things up their ass?" - Brahms Heelshire 2024

You turn off the music yourself when he practically begs you to.

You're probably tryna hold in your laughter while he's sitting on the floor trying to figure out what the fuck he just heard.

Jason Voorhees

Is there a bigger word for "traumatized"? Because that man earns it.

You're lucky af, if his mom was live she'd hit you with a crowbar so fast- Not kill you tho, she wouldn't dare hurt her boy.

But yeah, he's not saying anything, nor moving. Bro's too traumatized. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE-

You better give him his teddy he fucking deserves it TmT

Laughing his ass off until the shit is mentioned, even this horny gremlin has his limits.

Can you tell I hate shit kinks? XD

He'd want an apology for you blasting that song so far to that section. But no music! He hates Christmas songs, they're so repetitive and they all sound the same anyway.

Bake him a cake, the more unique the better. His favourite so far is red velvet with cream cheese frosting!

Then when he's finished eating you're getting railed by him not longer after, man's not changed. Not now, not ever.

Freddy Krueger

You can play this entire song with this man on REPEAT and he'd be fine with it.

I'd be surprised if he didn't given his track record and.... slicing open his skin to reveal green "blood" and maggots crawling out.

Would he laugh the first time? ABSOLUTELY!

Would he jokingly sing along, probably.

But he would TOTALLY play this song when going after his victims sometimes. Imagine dying and the last thing you hear is:

"4 BIG GUYS AND THEY GRAB ON MY THIGHS-"

Stu Macher & Billy Loomis

Billy is concerned for your wellbeing. Especially when you start singing it at full force with Stu joining in not long after.

Yeah Stu is enjoying this to the max!

Finds it hilarious, who the fuck wouldn't when you've got humour more broken than Brahms' doll-

But seeing you enjoying yourself to this.... absurdity, at least makes Billy calm down from worry. Now he's just concerned your taste in music may infiltrate your taste in movies.

I doubt the man's used to hearing music.... imagine this being his first time hearing it-

OMG he'd probably think this is normal for music.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??? XD

If it's not his first time hearing music though? No concern, laughter, nothing. He's neutral, given that this is something that makes you a little chaotic gremlin.

He's happy seeing you comfortable enough around to be a "gremlin" as you call it.

Bubba Sawyer

Don't traumatize him more than he's been already!!

Sure he doesn't realise it, or the fact he's used to it, but the poor guy's already traumatized-

Though he's probably more confused in the whole scheme of things. I mean, he knows what sex is. But just the surface of it.

So he's probably just learnt way too much in such a short period of time.

Oh lord what have you done-

Harry Warden

Okay first of all, why is there no GIF of this man? WTF????

Second; man's from the mines, man's old fashioned, you've probably just thrown way too much modern shit in his face way too quickly that he's just staring at you, the music video, and then the floor.

Poor miner is so confused, especially when the "cum starts spraying".

Oh god he'll probably think it's like dust from the mines spraying everywhere.

Fucking hell that's a vision-

Tiffany Valentine

Finds it amusing? Yes.

Judging? Not as much as you'd expect.

Girl's been through a wild ride, hearing you blast out "4 Big Guys" from your phone wouldn't be the most shocking thing in the world.

Hell. she'd probably encourage you to start singing along to it XD

Oh she's gonna use that song to torture someone with it. She doesn't know how yet, but she's got the idea in her head now

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lildoodlenoodle · 1 year ago

Text

Some random Hobie information from the comics! I’ve specified where the movies might come in and fanon stuff!

Hobie, despite having a British/cockney accent in the movie and in the comics, lives in NYC in the comics(movie might b different).

Hobie is a homeless teen(I’m pretty sure his parents died) radicalized by his dystopian world.

He’s been Spiderman for 3 years(movie so most of his comics have probably passed) and his world is a weird combination of 1970s-1990s.

Canonically bad at naming things.

His friends/band are tired of his shit and regularly make fun of him for saving the multiverse.

The cops in Hobie’s world all have the venom symbiote, he uses his guitar to play frequencies that disrupt the symbiotes.

He kills Norman Osborn twice.

Yes he kills cops.

Full name is Hobart.

Originally he hated being called Spider-Punk.

He works with his worlds Daredevil(Mattea Murdock), Captain America(Captain Anarchy), Hulk(Robbie Banner), Ironheart(RiotHeart), Ms. Marvel, etc.

Most people in his ‘band’ can’t actually play lol.

With facism one of his other greatest enemies is capitalism and being ‘marketable’.

Hobie’s design was originally meant to be Spider UK, who later became Billy Braddock.

He also got a symbiote dog called Spider-Mutt in his latest run.

Gwen Stacy was a famous rockstar who died in his world, Hobie was a fan!

He was originally recruited to what I affectionately call the ‘Interdimensional Spider Death Squad’ run by the Superior Spider with Spider Noir (and eventually Miles and Jessica joined right before the teams merged)rather than the other group of spiders.

He was the one that brought Miles back into the ‘spider society’ when the inheritors came back.

In the comics he lives in a Welfare center in Brooklyn he and his friends/band operate, in the movie he lives in a boat!

Hobie has an interdimensional band with Gwen(drums), Pavitr(keyboard), Noir(bass), Anya(1616 vocals), and Ham(air guitar)

I can’t remember Hobie having any romantic interests in his universe, but fanon wise he is often shipped with his canon gay friend, Captain Anarchy aka Karl Morningdew, but Karl does have a canon boyfriend. But outside of his universe there’s a whole host of possible ships and some do include: Hobiemiles / punkflower hobiepav/chaipunk hobiegwen / ghostpunk

#just fun little details to add for fanfic and drabbles #most of this is from memory so lmk if anything is wrong #I’m like 70% sure it’s referenced in the comics that he’s British and it’s mean to be a throw back to the spider UK design #Hobie brown #spider punk #spider band #punkflower #chaipunk #goldenpunk #is that the new ship name?#ghostpunk #noirpunk

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absolutebl · 5 months ago

Text

Meet You At the Blossom - Watch Along

Maybe a trash watch? We will find out.

But first what do we know about this show?

Well, I can't for the life of me remember the title. The article placement it too weird so it will henceforth be called Blossom okay?

Here's what I learned from @renafire

Duck daddy!!!!! I bring news! China didn't kill the gays! Meet You at the Blossom is an HEA! Golden retriever XiaoBao x ice prince Huaien (who gets the shit stabbed out of him an awful lot for being a ML). A side CP of dumb, pretty bodyguard x eccentric doctor. The background plot was basically a bunch of middle age men fighting about the ML's long dead mother. Needles! So many needles! (It was practically a sickfic tbh) Flapping sleeves! Flowing hair! Poison! Politics! A villain weirdly into kites! Prisoners in chains you can easily slip your hand through! Dimples! Loyal bodyguards becoming family! It's not the best thing ever, but it ends happily! There was even a line about "true love has nothing to do with gender" which I feel like is a big deal for something associated with China?

This convinced me to watch, so I thought I'd just post it verbatim to convince you, too.

So I'd refused to watch Blossom because I assumed the leads would die or at least be torn asunder at the end, and that there would be no kisses.

So this Watch Along is going to be me eating crow.

China pretty much always does censored BL (when they do it at all) since 2017 or so. You can watch something like My E-Sports Genius Brother for the style of "happy but censored BL" that I've grown to expect from China. (Although I wouldn't necessarily recommend it.)

They didn't used to do this! Time once was that China was this chaotic minefield of tasty mess meets terrible tropes (like kidnapping, stepbrothers, rape, whipping boy, and dub con). I had a weird love for it at the time because it was the Wild Wild World of BL beck then and I didn't know to expect better.

I come from 90s Yaoi. Remember?

Ah the bad old days. (You can read a history of CBL here. Not updated in ages.)

Where was I?

So, what I knew about Blossom was that it was a Wuxia BL and that it was made with Thailand, or for Thailand, or something to do with Thailand (there is Thai script on the promo material) and that it wasn't being distributed inside Mainland China. (I still worry about the actors but that's kinda a natural state for me and BL outside of Japan.)

Outside of China Blossom got wide distribution showing up everywhere iQIYI (China based), Viki (Japan based), Gaga (Taiwan based) WeTV (US Based) and YouTube (Thai Channel Artop Media is serving it).

It also looks like Heavenly is involved and they are Korea based. So like, everyone had their mitts on this thing. We live in crazy times.

Okay so, here are my 20 expectations:

Pony tails with a ribbon or two

Lots of questionable older tropes, especially dub-con & kidnapping (the herb that makes you horny maybe?)

Flowing filmy robes wafting everywhere

EXTREMELY PRETTY men, costumes, make up, setting... well, everything

No consent whatsoever

Pokey pokey, but not with the right kind of swords (a naked blade will be grabbed by a naked hand, sadly also not in the preferred way)

A bodyguard hotter than he has any right to be, wearing black

Floaty fighty fighty, including but not limited to: skid backwards through puffs of dust, a leap to land + one knee down + holding sword + head bowed, a twirly protect baby from baddies

A boat in a lotus pond

Poison, probably green, glittery if I'm lucky

Circular architecture

A big fuck off fan

Puppy-cat pairing

They wander through bamboo, sit down at the edge of a lake, probubly on a log

Wound tending, of course, because there will be lots of wounds

Someone pushed onto a platform bed (also kneeling in front of it)

A jail with straw in it

Older men with sparse beards detracting from the romance

Fruit or some other food being thrown

Some serious SLEEVE action.

Li Le as Zong Zheng Huai En

Probably the reserved unhinged one. Has sword, will prod.

He has a solid track record of shows under his belt. So to speak. One wonders how they persuaded him to do BL. He sure is pretty tho.

Wang Yun Kai as Jin Xiao Bao

The son of the wealthiest man in the Jiangnan region, probably the cheerful cute one.

He's an entirely green actor.

Most of the cast is from mainland China, with the exception of Achi Sukonlaphat Sribubpha, who is Thai (obvs) and under Artop Media.

Nancy Chen is directing

She is a Taiwanese director and screenwriter, who directed HIStory 4 and HIStory 5 (neither all that great) and was behind very queer friendly Pappy & Daddy.

I wouldn't call her a stellar director. I would say I've been reserving judgement, but if you pin me down I'd call her Taiwan's New.

Pitch

Xiao Bao (cute) falls in love with icy, white-robed stunner Huai En due to an unexpected meeting. Discovers she is actually a boy (and a baddie). Hijinx ensue.

Adapted from the novel Hua Kai You Shi Tui Mi Wu Sheng 花开有时, 颓靡无声 by Shui Qian Cheng 水千丞

Co-production with China and Taiwan. But the country of origin is listed as Thailand.

12 Episodes, 40 min each (or so) for a total fresh content run time of 8 hours.

Aired: Jul 11, 2024 - Aug 15, 2024 on iQiyi, Viki, WeTV, Gaga

Shall we get started?

I had a surfeit of options since Viki, Gaga, and iQIYI all had Blossom. I like Viki's interface best, want to support Gaga the most, but in this case, I opted for iQIYI because... screen shots. So it's all your fault.

EPISODE 1: Nicknames, pretty men, dimples, twirly, stabby, floof!

I don't like the intro music, it's too slow and tinkly, but classic for the genre I suppose. Still I'm fast forwarding through all the falling cherry blossoms.

All right. Now it's about time for... YES...

Emperor Infodump

Chancellor of Extraneous Explanations

As You Know Bo

Sorry sorry. The puns must flow.

The deets: layabout emperor = chaos & suffering. New emp = strong & popular but his baby bro wants to rule. New emp exiles bro to obscurity. New emp = good ruler. Order established through patriarchal dominance. Children laughing in the street. Got it.

I will not be remembering names, FYI.

We open on kid in trouble over a kite killed(?) by baddie.

Enter pretty spangled skippy puppy McDimples. I shall call him Dimples. Dimples = spoiled rich kid having trouble finding a wife - presumably because they all know he gay.

Enter hottie evil cut-glass cheekbones McPoutypants. Haven't decided what I shall call him. It'll come to me.

Extremely pretty men. CHECK.

Ooo, a big hat on horse back!

Of course, how could I not have had that trope on my checklist? My bad.

And a bunch of assassins slow-dropping out of trees like lazy fruit. I forgot that, too.

I gotta say, fairy prince or high elf is not a bad moniker for twirly-sword cheekbones supreme.

Floaty fighty fighty! CHECK

Oh, I thought they'd go in for crossdressing at the very least but I guess they went for Dimples is an idiot instead. Interesting choice. I see we also have the "baby is a clumsy bunny" trope all set to deploy. Carry on.

Grab the sword and skid through the dirt. CHECK!

And a fainting!

Pony tail with ribbons. CHECK

Dimples might be a bit too much of a prat and an idiot for me.

[Have begun watching at 1.25 speed. Don't fault me.]

I always find the orange/yellow eye makeup that Cdramas put on characters of questionable morality fascinating. Why those colors specifically? And why eye makeup specifically?

We arrive home. It fancy. Daddy doesn't want an unknown lady for his baby (silly daddy, ladies are for ladies, boys are for boys).

Everyone acknowledging that elf prince is, in fact, The Prettiest is very pleasing to me.

Meanwhile, there is some kind of list/stuff/thingy and Prince Shen wants it and is a bad guy, maybe? I can't remember names from the beginning so I have no idea what's going on with the plot but also, it is only going to get more convoluted. Plus the weekend is coming so I'll eventually be drinking and watching this. Plot is for people who don't like BL. And don't have six bottles of sake in their fridge.

Snicker.

Where was I?

Oh yes. Judiciously NOT following the plot.

Dimples and his 2 enablers seem to share about 1/3 of a braincell between them. But they're sincere about it.

Engage secret identity trope and the expected cross dressing.

Ooo Shen is The Prettiest's uncle? Damn it I'm trying to follow the plot again. Must not get sucked into plot. This is a Cdrama therein lies madness. Ah, Prettiest is the son of the emperor's exiled younger bro? Got it.

Twirly protect baby from baddies! CHECK

And that's episode 1 in the bag. In the sheath?

My thoughts so far:

This couldn't be more exactly what I expected if it tried. I mean it is trying. And it's succeeding in being a Wuxia BL. So. Yay! Performing to the packaging. I appreciate that in a show.

I'm looking forward to more.

(On the advice of one of my spies I've switched to watching on YT when I can, YT and Gaga are supposed to have the better subs than iQIYI and Viki. That said I found iQIYI's serviceable.)

EPISODE 2: Checking a bunch of stuff off my list in rapid succession

Poisoning?

No. Sex herb? CHECK

Discovery that she is in fact he?

Dominance Tussle? Dub con? Rape? Already? CHECK

Well that came fast (presumably so did he).

There’s a lot happening all at once at the beginning of just ep 2.

It’s an ACCOUNT BOOK that’s causing all this fuss? Hilarious.

Enter the anticipated hottie (bodyguard? spy?) in all black wearing a hedgehog. CHECK

(I didn’t expect the hedgehog, I have to admit.)

Oh is the single brain cell society is trying to grow additional brain cells? That's not gonna work.

Cheekbones is still the prettiest.

Oh HELLO stern grabby Daddy not-older brother of yummy. We likey.

Who do you belong to?

Why do you have The Biggest Sleeves?

Do I take that as a sign of gayness?

Please?

Ooo looks like I’m right.

Also this is very silly.

And "I never said she was a woman."

It’s just so funny.

OH NO!

Stern prince bro is leaving already?

I only had Grabby McDaddy for a very short length of time. I already miss him.

Meanwhile, Dimples apparently has no compunction about being in love with a man, we blew through a bisexual identity crisis while I wasn't looking, and now we exist inside the gay=okay bubble? I did not expect The Bubble(tm) to show up in a Wuxia, but I guess this is a BL universe and we all just float around in it…

Cheekbones is a bit of an asshole. Quite apart from the, ya know, bit of rapey rape thing.

I also did not have absolutely terrible VO dubbing on my bingo card. I forgot about that one in Cdramas.

EPISODE 3: Distracted by the pretty

Some kind of dark past for dimples and his little (not blood ) sister.

Sniff test, the greatest trope of 2024 apparently. Nice to see the execution of a modern trope in a vintage style BL.

Aa ha! Kneeling next to a platform bed. CHECK

And more poisoning and drugs.

Wound tending. CHECK

Aweeeee Dimples is worried about Cheekbones! How cute.

Also, the ice queen appears to be melting.

Ooo. More sexitimes? Consensual this time. Okay. I guess Taiwan did get its nuts all over this show. (Honestly, that was a mistype but I'm keeping it in.)

The bit with all the bodyguards was great.

And my love for Mr. All-Black Clued-in Hottie persists.

We are now in the “does he like me back?” phase of the high school narrative. We are also in the "do I like him at all?" part of the narrative. Suddenly, this is an angsty YA.

Ice queen has melted and is now turning into jelly. (Can you tell I’m very pleased with myself and this metaphor?)

And now, Dimples is sick?

Boy, is this fast moving! I have to say, that is something I did not expect at all. Usually Cdramas are much slower than this.

I do love how shameless D imples is. It’s kind of delightful. He’s definitely in his bisexual awakening slut phase.

Cheekbones is also a doctor, apparently. Useful man.

In other news: I would really like to add a full length crossover wafting robe into my wardrobe. I have no idea why I feel compelled by such a thing.

EPISODE 4: Gay sleeves AT last

Not a lot happened in this episode. Mostly flirting. More backstory and plot that doesn’t really matter. Presumably this intended to be character motivation?

We do not need him to be motivated we need him to be pretty. Understand the brief please.

Why no more floaty floaty sleeves?

Oooo, because sleeves in gay! CHECK

I did like the scene of the blood being cleaned up after the assassination attempt(?). It’s kind of nice to see that depicted for a change. I always worry about all that blood on that nice stone work.

Oh the handholding it was very cute.

Ice queen has melted and now turned entirely to jelly. Very very jelly.

Dimples is so stupid proud of his tall deadly wife. It's flipping adorable in a very goofy way.

I guess Cheekbones has come around and now Dimples has officially been claimed, multiple times and in multiple ways. He can't change his mind or anything now. Trouble is afoot...

asleeve?

ahead...

ahem.

I'll stop now.

EPISODE 5 - It is a Thing I guess?

OMG Cheekbones just loves his stilly bint of a bf. It’s absolutely absurd. The ultimate puppy/cat pairing.

I love it that he’s just casually walking around with a knife sticking out of his back and only cares that baby may have gotten a splinter in his finger.

Now we are in the vows portion of the early romance. I am assuming betrayal is coming soon?

Grabby McDaddy! I missed you! Here to perform the part of Basil Exposition I see? No grabby for me? Sad. Unfortunately, if you aren’t flirting with a man I’m going to be fast forwarding. Although your sleeves are very nice.

Uh oh, Dimples is in trouble.

Okay that was that. No screen caps, I lazy.

EPISODE 6 - DOOOMMMM

Oh lovely. More rape. I guess Dimples went looking for that response? Is that the implication? Does Dimples have a rape kink? What is with this show?

No brothels for a baby I guess.

It’s not gay... it’s poison?

It’s not bisexuality... it’s the slut herb?

The single brain cell club is now the wailing fates.

I guess cutting off a man’s hand out of jealousy is no biggie? Well this is a BL. Jealousy is the #1 excuse!

Fighty floaty blood spatter death! This time on wooden planks. Those are impossible to get clean.

Meanwhile, there’s a lot of backstory and stuff I don’t care about, and probably can’t follow even if I did care about it.

I don’t like the Emperor at all. But then I don’t think I meant to. I am a little shocked that there aren’t more men with sparse beards distracting from the romance. But I guess this is a BL, they go for youth even in wuxia.

EPISODE 7 - You know what they say about a man with big sleeves?

Oh, Daddy McGrabby is back and he's a good guy (?)! He’s also in love with Dimples.

Oh no!

What is this sensation I feel being thrust upon me?

Is that…? Is that second lead syndrome? I think it is.

Oh well, it was fated the moment I saw the length of his... sleeves in episode 2.

Meanwhile?

Dimples gets tortured by acupuncture.

Poisonings are always so elegant and classy in Cdramas.

Blah blah captured rescued captured rescued again sort of. Cheekbones is now seriously imperiled. We swap one for the other in Grave Danger (TM).

Enter the Divine Doctor character! Who (Dr) I have been told reliably by previous witnesses is A Favorite. I do love this particular archetype (quirky healer wise beyond his years - sometimes actual immortal. ) I am prepared to be delighted.

EPISODE 8 - Divine Doctor is Emperor of the Gays

The divine doctor and 1/3 brain cell is not a pairing I thought was going to happen. Frankly it doesn't seem like the writers thought about it much either.

But it did make me laugh out loud.

It’s fantastic. I love them. I love this for me. I love a secondary couple for this show. Carry-on.

I LOVE THE DOCTOR SO MUCH.

Everyone was absolutely correct. He is the best character. He is my favorite. He is openly gay and a troublemaker and absolute queen. And I adore him forever. No notes.

King Emperor behavior!

The evil crown prince has a crush on Daddy McGrabby. With good reason, he does have the biggest sleeves.

(I have a crush on Daddy McGrabby.) And he clearly likes brats, so I think the crown prince is in with a chance, actually.

(Not me, sadly. Despite the rumors I am not a brat. I make no case for this.)

EPISODE 9 - The Plot Thickens like Shampoo

Oh, Cheekbones is the new crown prince? We have a whole Snape situation going on here?

And finally Cheekbone knows what is happened to his poor little tortured Dimples. (oof that acting tho. before you say "what acting" i KNOW.)

In all honesty, I’m quite engaged by the drama of the show at this point and kind of losing my snark because of it. Don't get mad at me.

It’s not a bad show. I mean it’s a melodramatic soap opera, but that’s to be expected. It's so soapy it's like one of those extra foamy soap dispenser soaps.

To be entirely fair most gay men of my acquaintances have very similar relationship trajectories. Minus some of the casual murder (aside from character assassinations of course).

EPISODE 10 - Oh Noes All Round

Not enough of my beloved divine doctor emperor of the gays. But you can’t have everything.

Oh noes, my babies are fighting.

But he brought you a big thistle! Don't fight!

Oh they get to kind of make up, or something. It’s sweet. Puppy Dimples accidentally caught himself a psychopath. To be fair tho, all cats are psychopaths at heart.

Oh noes Daddy McGrabby is planning on killing Cheekbones. No Daddy. Not the Cheekbones!

The cheek kiss from Cheekbones was so romantic. Normally I’m not a huge fan of this particular smooch, but under these circumstances it was very good.

EPISODE 11 - So Many Gay Emperors no one cares about the actual emperor

I wish I could shut somebody up by a simple double tap to the collarbone. It’s like the wuxia version of a block feature on tumblr.

Meanwhile, the part where 2/3 of a brain cell are comparing how hot their respective fierce gay emperors are to each other is truly hilarious. I actually clapped.

This is so ridiculous.

Epic eye roll from the remaining 1/3 of a brain cell. And I have to say I’m on his side in this matter.

Oh noes Daddy McGrabby is not, in fact, on the side of twrew lurve after all.

How sad.

EPISODE 12 - The Bisexual In the Bathtub & other nursery rhymes of my youth

I love this silly bint of a bisexual in the bath between two fierce gay dudes who are about to give their life force to keep him alive.

Someone definitely once drew this as Lord of the Rings fanart 20 years ago.

I guess our single brain cell has been torn asunder. And Daddy McGrabby never did get his man.

Next series?

Bing him back to me.

With EVEN BIGGER SLEEVES!

IN CONCLUSION

All cards on the table?

This was undeniably a wuxia and most definitely a BL.

Evil stunning princely Cheekbones meets and falls in love with the bisexual Disaster dimples of his dreams. There’s a lot of floaty fighting, tangled plot, and overworked emotions. From start to finish it was exactly as it claimed to be, including more than the expected amount of sexual claiming.

I’m not wild about the wuxia genre, but I will tell you what I do like:

Very pretty men in flowing robes + eye makeup + hair ribbons wafting about stabbing and kissing each other plus ridiculous soap opera machinations. I also like cheekbones and dimples. AND I love a stupid gay sleeve, okay? There was also truly epic levels of stink-eye, and that too is to be lauded.

This show left me grinning like crazy. Was it great? Not really, but it was a great experience and I enjoyed it immensely.

I’m so glad you all persuaded me to watch it in the end.

Thank you!

I should probably give it an 9/10 because I had such a good time watching it. But I’m not going to, because it isn’t a 9/10 drama. It had a lot of flaws chewing at that pretty (boom mic riddled) scenery, not to mention all the rapey rape.

It’s a solid 8/10

(source)

#ABL trash watches BL #ABL trash watch #well sort of a trash watch #Meet You at the Blossom #Chinese BL #Taiwanese BL #Thai BL #BL watch along #ABL binge watches BL #Li Le #Wang Yun Kai #Nancy Chen #Hua Kai You Shi Tui Mi Wu Sheng

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twink-remus-lupin · 23 days ago

Note

i am insanely lacking trans remus lupin ANYTHING . And you're one of the only people ive seen so far who does them/thinks about them similarly to me

so i was wondering if u had trans remus lupin hcs u havent shared before ? (with wolfstar/others or js about him)

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK i have a lot to say.

headcanons! (teen pregnancy/trans pregnancy mentioned)

he comes out pretty young and has already socially transitioned when he starts at hogwarts. i think Pomfrey would set him up with magical puberty blockers and hormones when he is old enough

chose the name remus on purpose, the little shit.

somehow didn’t realize he could be gay til around 3rd year- thought since he was a guy he had to date women. he was not happy about that

he and lily went on one date to hogsmeade (james cried but gave his blessing) and he ended up coming out to both her and himself at the three broomsticks

they fake dated for a while until he eventually came out to the other marauders and for the most part james was just thrilled to find out lily was single

sirius didn’t react as well but only because he had a baby crush on remus that he didn’t understand yet and was pissed when remus started dating kingsley around 5th year

the other marauders know he’s trans starting 3rd year because of a mixup between them finding out he’s a werewolf and trans

“we know what you are” “okay yes i’m trans” “you’re a werewo- wait what”

alternatively he tells them he’s trans to cover up for his monthly clinic visits when they start catching on to his lycanthropy

5th year he starts hormones and sirius goes insane because his voice is getting deeper

remus dates a couple different guys to distract himself from his growing crush on sirius who is growing out this stupid beard that definitely doesn’t make him want to jump his bones

sirius finally comes out as bi and has a fling with a guy in their year that ends because he’s too in love with remus

they have a weird back and forth for a while until they kiss 6th year and finally start dating (peter called it, james is floored, lily is just glad remus will shut up about sirius’s hair finally. she is wrong.)

they are obsessed with each other, get promise rings 7th year.

Remus keeps having pregnancy scares and Pomfrey is so close to strangling him

“just because you’re on testosterone doesn’t mean you won’t get pregnant remus! here’s a condom.”

sirius and james pay for remus’s top surgery when they graduate- he feels terrible about taking the money but they insist.

they want to get married but decide to wait until after the war

remus isn’t sure he wants kids but as soon as harry is born he’s a complete mess

he immediately asks sirius if they can have one

sirius is thrilled and they start planning for a baby as soon as the war is over

that obviously doesn’t happen and remus is devastated, swearing off the idea of having kids entirely.

after sirius gets out of azkaban they discuss it again but decide that it’s once again not the right time and besides, they have harry now.

and then

oops! they got too carried away and it happened anyways

they have a daughter because wolfstar girldads are so important to me

harry is deeply confused when he’s first told because he had no idea remus was trans or that they were together

he comes around and is a very proud older brother to the little one, doting on her constantly

no one dies and they all live 60 more years as a happy family

okay that’s it i have a bunch more including AUs and whatnot but i’ll stop there for now. I love wolfstar accidental pregnancy trope because they would absolutely be complete idiots about using protection. plus harry being completely invested in his godsister because he’s never had a real family before. he literally would look at her like she hung the stars in the sky.

if you’re looking for a good wolfstar/trans!remus writer i absolutely adore @mrsfrecklesmarauders

she has an ongoing muggle au that always has me completely enraptured

i’ll probably rb this with more at some point ! thanks for the ask🤍

#marauders #remus lupin #wolfstar #sirius black #the marauders era #wolfstar headcanon #trans remus lupin #trans remus

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girlbossblackbeard · 1 year ago

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THOUGHTS AND LAYERS

i spent literally an hour analyzing this trailer at 0.5 speed. this post is long af and these thoughts are in no particular order and are poorly organized:

-there's a big storm (which I think was already confirmed), and ed gets swept overboard by a bucket on a rope:

he then crawls up out of the water onto the beach

then goes into the forest, creates a hut, has a journey of healing and self-discovery, meets hornigold (or his ghost??)

and kills him thus killing the part of himself that he hated the most (his violence) as a parallel to stede finally getting rid of nigel's ghost by accepting and believing in himself

-in the stede/ed split screen, the stede shot is from the first ep of s2 right after stede finds the marooned crew at the end of ep 10 in s1 (you can tell bc his hair and clothes are still clean, there's no gay bandana around his neck, and that's his lil dinghy buttons is rowing)

-they go to shore and wind up at the merchants shop where "susan" overhears they're tracking down blackbeard

and she invites stede's crew onto her ship, cue the outfit change in the BTS photos:

-the way stede makes that little swishy turn in the red coat -

makes me think this may be first time he's been in fine clothes since his "death" and i hope we get a moment of him reflecting on how he gave up everything for ed only to have him hate him :( but then obviously realizing that ed is worth it and he'd do it all again in a heartbeat if it meant getting a chance at spending the rest of his life with him

-izzy and stede team up, and izzy is clearly training either himself or stede on the revenge (?)

soooooo many questions: what caused him to leave ed and join stede's crew? is he fighting with ed and is training to take him out or is he just done having his love be unrequited so he leaves and just so happens to stumble into stede? is izzy thinking that if he can't cut out the longing he has for ed he has to kill him instead so the pain will go away? what, pray tell, the fuck is going on in here on this day

-wee john in the mermaid costume (and olu in a bunny or donkey costume?):

a fuckery? or just a weird acid trip? OR IS IT THE TALENT SHOW THEY NEVER GOT TO HAVE??

-ed really does force everyone on his crew to wear war paint

-all the tally marks scratched into the walls - is that the number of days since stede bonnet broke ed's heart?

-ed in the forest in PEARL NECKLACE HELLOW????????

-the tear in ed's eye as he moves the cake toppers closer together which he also painted to make the lady look more like him he literlaly is in love wiht stede so bad wht the FUCJ

-ed's crew is murdering SO MANY PEOPLE at the wedding wtf (pic not included bc scary)

-delusional moment but i hope anne bonny on stede's lap is looking at calico jack off screen

-stede and ed are running towards each other on the black sand beach (thank you @sluterastede for pointing this out to me wtf!!!!!!)

which evolves my theory that ed in the forest goes through his healing journey and realizes he wants to openly love stede again but then the navy attack and stede just so happens to have found ed at the same time and they're fighting to get to each other and taking out everyone in their way (what if that was okracoke lmao)

-the swede and spanish jackie hooking up in the trailer

makes me think the bts shot of ed and jackie is them looking at stede and the swede, and ed being SO in love with stede obvi but jackie is watching the swede do some weirdly hot shit so she's gotta have him (what if they got married and he became her umpteenth husband in a drunken vegas-like shotgun wedding where she wakes up the next day to realize what has happened lmao)

-also this pic is DEF from the reunited/make up era bc ed's half-up hair, no makeup, soft eyes, and buttons' clothing. i am weeping

-stede in pain - is it an injury or a tattoo? or torture as @sluterastede posits?? he looks down at his lower body before screaming so maybe he knows what's about to happen to him??

-ed in the forest wearing the pearl necklace (see above), ed saying "fuck you stede bonnet" wearing the pearl necklace (see below)

does he pick it up at the wedding??? (theory credit to @sluterastede!!!! can u tell we watched the trailer together 400 times) i can't tell if he's wearing it in the one wide shot of him in that scene:

but regardless of when he acquires it, does he take it bc he remembers stede said he wears fine things well???? and he starts to believe he may deserve them??

-side note about a LACK of something: ed isn't wearing the cravat at all in the trailer near as i can tell, and he's not wearing the pearl necklace when throwing knives at the wall (at least from what I can see, which is not much) which leads me to believe that scene is in the earlier part of the season

-lastly, the most important song lyrics from the trailer (the beautiful ones by prince):

and that's my dissertation on the ofmd season 2 teaser trailer thank you

#ofmd #our flag means death #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #edward teach #stede bonnet #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 predictions #ofmd s2 trailer

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bylrlve · 7 months ago

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Warning! Spoilers for Stranger Things 5 mentioned,

Rewatching episode 2, and I’m genuinely staggered by how many times Mike peeks at Will. It’s very clear his mind is on Will, in fact. I am also staggered by just how many small byler details are in here.

His whole face drops after no. 4 too, as @starbylers observed here.

I also want to include these @chirpsythismorning gifs from the roller rink scene, as they’re brilliant:

Mike watching Will get out of the van, and seemingly offering a hand to him.

Mike openly watching Will as they take their skates.

(X) (X)

These are very deliberate acting choices from Finn Wolfhard, and he was certainly doing it on instruction.

Some other notes on 402:

The transition from Mike and El being fake -> Murray looking up looking like he’s experiencing his Seeing Clearly -> Robin talking about Vickie laughing ‘and not like a cheap, fake laugh, but a real, genuine laugh’, right after we saw Mike hiding his genuine disgust at burritos for breakfast behind a tone of fake laughter.

Mike’s whole face just drops into an unhappy, spaced-out espression when it zooms in on El - this is after Will ignored his sock joke (video here by @buckybxarnes)

As many have observed, Mike and El look genuinely miserable when viewed from Angela’s perspective, as opposed to the shot of them skating with Will miserable behind them

It’s occurred to me that in s2, 3, and 4, the byler plot really takes off in episode 2. I’m wondering if that’s also the case with s5 - I’ve reconsidered my theory that the Mike + El rooftop scene takes place after the hospital plot in ep 2, as I’ve heard that the paparazzi at the filming site were told it was in episode 1.

The door slam/open transition between Joyce going to the bank to get the 40k random for Hopper, utterly singleminded, and Mike barging into the womens’ bathroom, being kicked out, and subsequently starting an argy-bargy with Will as opposed to continuing to prioritise El… well!

The disparity in time is so interesting. El counts off 185 days since she last saw Mike - which is roughly six months, as is canon within the show (Sept-Oct 1985-March 1986). And here Mike is, saying ‘you knew she was having trouble for, like, a year’ and Will saying ‘it’s been a year, Mike’ and, in 404, Mike saying ‘the last year has been weird.’ It’s pretty obvious the last one is Mike referring to their fight nine months earlier, plus the time prior that Mike had spent pulling away from the rest of the Party to focus on El. The second one is Will potentially referencing the time that elapsed since their fight - even if it’s moreso subtext from the writers. What, then, to make of Mike saying Will knew El was having trouble for, like, a year? What subtext could be meant by this? I’d love to hear your guys’ thoughts because u can’t quite deduce this.

Mike listing off everything Will did is so hilarious given the surveillance he carried out all day on the boy, and given the fact that poor El being humiliated publicly and assaulted with liquid before she skated off bawling did not, apparently, ruin the day. On second thoughts, I understand what Will meant… she’s in trouble having Mike’s gay ass for a boyfriend.

What’s striking me now is that this fight + El’s iconic roller skate moment, are the real emotional climaxes of this episode’s M/E/W plot. It could have been Mike finding El and comforting her before she lashed out at Angela. It could have been him talking to her afterwards. It could have been at the house - him following her up to her room and silently comforting her until she fell asleep. No, no. Mike and Will airing out their grievances (and Mike betraying which of the two truly emotionally affects him more) + El handling her own shit, while Mike thoroughly disapproves.

The way that Will just wants to be Mike’s friend, but it’s Mike making it so deeply weird.

The way, also, that they stick together at the rink even after the fight, and Mike openly is more preoccupied by Will in the van. I’ve seen it observed before: the parallel between El and Will staring out the same window in the van crying: Mike looks at Will in the shot. He does not look at El in the shot.

I think it’s hilarious that Mike ends the fight by feigning concern for El - he offered her no comfort whatsoever, actively stood away from her when she was waiting for Jonathan and Argyle to arrive, ignored her crying in the van, and of course:

She didn’t look fine.

Mike and Will are blocked together, not Mike and El

The sincerity of Mike’s concern over El juxtaposed with the rank falseness of ‘no, that’s…that’s not true, maybe I was a little upset in the moment’ etc really sticks out - the defensiveness is reminiscent of the tone he took with Will during the fight, but even then he was more sincere-sounding because he was more emotionally affected.

Bylers don’t talk enough about the insanity of ‘who… who said that I didn’t?’ In context, thinking logically, Mike is very likely referring to Will here (the bullies were shouting at her, he could hear what they were saying)- and why would his mind immediately go to ‘Will thinks I don’t love El, and has told her his suspicions?’ Why would he take a defensive tone?

Seriously, 402-403 M/W/E may well be the plot that (potentially) spells out byler endgame the most.

#byler #mike wheeler #will byers #el hopper #bizarre love triangle #oh… el…. babe #finn wolfhard #gay mike wheeler #mike wheeler is gay #do you ever just feel really bad for el?#my post #otp: heart and light

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bikiniarmorbattledamage · 6 months ago

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Baldur's Gate 3 (Part 1 - Introduction)

It's a great time to be an old school Dungeons & Dragons player, you get to smugly observe millions of people realizing the game is good actually... or at least that the game can facilitate heart touching romances with imaginary, terrible people.

(To be clear, I'm not judging you - these two are, but I'm not)

As one of the biggest AAA games of 2023, it's unsurprising that it's big and complicated - and there's a lot that can be talked about with many aspects of it - including female armor and costumes. Indeed, there's already a lot of commentary on it and community activity, from the confusing, to the life affirming.

It has also been the topic of how corporate practices continually reward those who participate in the creation successful art with notice of dismissal.

And of course, both Dungeons & Dragons and Larian Studios have histories that we've touched on before - and I can confidently say it represents a huge improvement in quality, style and attitudes. Plus sometimes their advertising is just gay.

There's good, there's bad, there's inspired and there's missed opportunities - so it'd be impossible to sum it all up in one post.

Also, now it's finished... I can feel safe commenting on it and not being told "that's changing next week" - that's the excuse I'm using for being so late to the party on this one.

It'll also be impossible to avoid talking about it without some spoilers. So I'll try to cover as much as possible spoiler-free, then put spoilers below a read-more break.

-wincenworks

In General

It's pretty good. Most of the costumes and armors are essentially gender neutral and the ones that do change seem to do so in response to social conventions, rather than a desire to sex shit up sexy - but where you can sex shit up sexy, it applies equally across genders. (Seriously, Lae'zel's lingerie looks amazing on Gale (nsfw 🖼️) and he's not the sort you'd think could rock it).

Looking at the artbook that I have because I'm one of those people who buys deluxe editions - it looks like there might have been a few early stumbles in concept but these were smoothed out before release.

There are some amazing examples (Minthara), and some baffling designs (all Githyanki armor), some interesting (Orin's) and some that are complicated (Dame Aylin's).

But overall it's pretty good and I would certainly like to see more fantasy media take it's lead from these sorts of designs.

So let's start with a few examples of how everything is complicated.

Why goblins have sexy armor?

The goblins in Baldur's Gate 3 are disgusting, sadistic raiders who are primarily interested in killing, torturing and enslaving all other races. They don't seem to have any crafts people of their own, preferring to steal and adapt.

So it's puzzling that, statistically, when most players encounter them they get this cutscene to showcase a goblin in sexy leathers.

Now, these goblins don't have a sense of shame - or at least not one related to things like nudity taboos. They're not exactly tactical masterminds or great crafts people.

So there's no reason for her to have masterwork armor, or hide her body... but this particular piece looks like pretty lovingly crafted lingerie made specifically to be sexy and flaunt as much skin as possible.

And the couple of goblins that have this, stand out among the rest of the goblins... who are mostly wearing scraps and bits and pieces they've cobbled together with nowhere near this level of craftsmanship.

Obviously, this outfit is not ideal with the sharp bits poking out... but it's pretty intimidating and it'd make it things more difficult for an enemy trying to stop Zurga from killing them so it works.

The end result is weird… but also oddly foretold.

Great armor, terrible disguise

Now, this is great armor - a little flashy with a lot of extra doodads - but from a fantasy perspective, it conveys the message and that the wearer is a pragmatic person prioritizing their own self-preservation.

Honestly this is one of the best examples of armor that is designed to be fancy without becoming completely unworkable, like it is real armor that's been adapted for ceremony. It has layers and while you would expect it to quickly become damaged beyond recognition, if you needed to be ready for a surprise scrap - it'd do the job and do it well enough (a cosplayer friend advised the breastplate is a little prone to being bumped but otherwise she didn't bump into anything)

(Though as a random reminder, if you're going for the very realistic approach - helmets should be a top priority. We accept that doesn't happen in video games like this though because we want to see those emotive, sexy faces - judging us for loving them.)

But Shadowheart is a priestess of Shar, and if you accept her as a companion she will happily tell you all about that and how an important part of being a priestess of Shar is secrets and concealing your faith from the masses...

There is also an explanation for why she happened to be in her ceremonial attire... but for most of the game, she demonstrates no awareness that she was in vestments when you met.

Now I understand that a lot of these choices are due to various experiments, iterations, etc. Shadowheart being an "authentic" priestess of Shar is not as important as her being an interesting companion in a fun game.

And now that I've definitely made sure nobody is going to "well actually" about the armor design or Forgotten Realms lore... a conspiracy theory:

Karlach's outfit (#freethenipple)

So when you meet the tiefling muscle-mommy known as Karlach, her default outfit indicates that she does not partake in bras. (She's barbarian which is a class in D&D that protects themselves not with armor, but by getting so angry weapons do less damage to them... just go with it...) and despite the forced sexiness of this design - it kinda fits her backstory:

So, she has a definite look, and apparently does not partake the wearing of bras... good for her! She's literally so hot that fire flickers off her, the boob sweat has got to be epic.

Interesting, Karlach is one two female characters who's "camp clothes" are listed specifically as "trousers".

The other one is always in pants and bra on female characters (but not male), but for some reason Karlach's trousers include this top that... just doesn't match the rest of her style and is nothing like her underwear (which also doesn't match her style):

So it seems this seems to be an odd case where in a game where you can access full nudity easily, and they gave her sexy armor... they did a last minute cover up to prevent the woman who would have the epic boobsweat imaginable walking around camp topless... and her model has a lot of detail that gets hidden by that top and her armor. (nsfw 🖼️)

And I know I am not the only one (nsfw link) who has had this idea.

Unless you just go into inventory and take her clothes off..., then toggle so she's always in "camp clothes" and always nude. It's just weird that the players are fully able to make her a nudist, but the game seems to have stopped at the last minute at making her go casually topless.

-wincenworks

#bg3 #commentary #female armor #costume design #fantasy #RPG #bikini armor #goblins #shadowheart #karlach #video games #Bikini Armor Battle Damage #BikiniArmorBattleDamage #BABD #baldur's gate 3

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doodler16 · 11 days ago

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3 things to say:

1- "being gay is when a married man cheat on wife with another man"- vivziepop's logic (her lgbtq representation is very conservative if you think about it)

2- I feel like fans know that vivziepop's writing is bullshit and full of pilot holes but they Don't care about it as long there's characters to fuck *cough* loona *cough*,people underestimate the power of horny lol and to this day I still don't understand the hype and praise for loona but this is how Internet works I guess

3- I usually don't care about ships and strange kinks as long it stays fictional and no real person is involved in it BUT i hate it when a creator push it in their "morality teaching shows" it's where I draw the line like you either make serious show about taking abuse seriously to spread awareness or a weird fever dream kink show made for gooners to enjoy, you can't have it both,vivziepop made hypersexuals look like bunch of freaks and stigmatised them even more. "Please guys have sympathy for this character for getting sexually harassed but please don't blame him for sexually harassing others cause trauma made him hypersexual and you have to deal with it, he's just coping!" Like wtf are you serious? There's different ways to coping with trauma including drawing fetishes and kinks and i see no problem with it but harassing others is not coping you are just being peirce of shit, her morality is so flawed what is she even trying to tell audience? Victims of SA become assholes and have free card to harassing others? Wtf? And Yes I am a proshipper and I hate HH/HB because I hate it when a show tell you it's ok to cheat and it's ok to sexually harassing others why? because you said that this show is meant to represent victims but you only made victims feel embarrassed even more about themselves and you backstabbed them like don't you realise when you say your shows is about victims your victims watch the show to feel comfortable and feel being understood only for them seeing angel dust being asshole and sir.pentious getting SA'd as a joke? where's the SA awareness? Like yes we know victims who read SA fanfic as coping exist but not all of them cope the same way and we thought you would tell us how terrible SA can be and how it effects victims horribly ,not using trauma to excuse their shitty behaviours? I hate seeing people getting hurt and I don't want to be near someone telling me that them being asshole is ok because "HB is like bojack horseman and told me it's ok because X And Y" like stfu if you truly know anything about bojack horseman you wouldn't even think of comparing the two also you're an adult and if a dumb cartoon made you harassing others then you weren't good person in the first place you bastard maybe talk to therapy instead because creating trauma to others will never help you also not to mention half of fanbase of HH/HB are minors thanks to lazyass parents and society gaslighting everyone with "if it's cartoon then it's for kids" but the audience is out of vivziepop's control do i am not gonna blame her for this one but all i know is that unlike adults who are aware and responsible for their actions minors brain is not fully developed and they can be misguided most of times so i am worried about them growing up with vivziepop's 'morality' so i don't know the solution of who is watching cartoon and i think we should normalizing shaming lazy parents like don't be a parent if you would just let internet babysitting your child instead of you doing it yourself parenting is called parenting for a reason you're called "parent" not "birth giver", why am I proshipper? Because I don't care about others ships but I don't like the She-ra's "lesbians can't be abusive! You must feel bad for your abuser and you owe them everything and you should forgive them" Message and vivziepop's "if you're in straight marriage and you find out you're gay just cheat oh and if you have trauma it's ok to be asshole" Message (I hope you understand what I am trying to say and I hope you understand we have same goals before you tell me I am terrible as abusers just because i don't care about others ships and believing that fictional things doesn't matter as long it's fictional)

Alright I am done,scream at me I guess

The fans would also fill in the holes regarding Helluva Boss and doesn’t help that Vivziepop would like tweets about it. Don’t like tweets of your fans defending your show. Put and write it into your dialogue not on Twitter 😭

Yeah, Vivziepop has a huge problem of wanting her cake and eating it. Like what you mentioned Anon, the sexual assault jokes then another moment taking it seriously. Rinse and repeat. The moral compass in Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss is so wish-washy.

Successfully killed straight married couple. Cool. Oh no, Blitzø doesn’t have the guts to kill a gay couple. Woahh apparently it’s character development (despite Blitzø fighting over a parking lot like an Anon in my last ask mentioned, happily participating in a Wrath competition in Millie’s hometown, killing lumberjacks, happily will screw over the cherubs, etc etc).

Most of the characters especially if a character is Vivziepop’s favorite, don’t get held accountable and when they do have a chance to be called out, it’s usually downgraded in some way or there is some excuse in said action.

Its funny you bring up the children in Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss because there was literally a situation where like what a 9-10 year old was at a Hazbin convention asking Blake Roman an inappropriate question regarding Angel Dust. It is so mind boggling to watch. Hazbin and Helluva are supposed to be for adults (+18) but the both shows don’t seem adult despite covering big topics like rape, kinks, etc. It feels like 2 kids in a trench coat attempting to sneak into a R rated movie.

At the day it’s the parent’s responsibility and they should be called out. It also doesn’t help that a few voice actors like Amir encourage kids and parents to watch Hazbin Hotel, despite Vivziepop expressing multiple times it’s for adults. I don’t know if he changed his mind about kids accessing Hazbin Hotel but I hope he does.

Vivziepop could potentially age gate Helluva Boss (I’m not talking about the warning sequence from Helluva Boss that flashes for 5-10 seconds every episode). But like manually do this:

But Vivziepop would lose some more views if that happened. Otherwise there isn’t much she can do.

#vivziepop critical #vivziepop criticism #anonymous #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism

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