#in which case it’s probably relevant

[nikkilbook]

Dear fanfic writers of the world:

Please. I’m begging you. If your blorbos are supposed to be dancing together, PLEASE stop writing that the leading partner put their hand on the other’s waist.

When dancing, the following partner (traditionally the lady) puts their left hand on the leading partner (traditionally the dude)’s upper arm, usually just below the deltoid. Just barely off the shoulder. The leader puts their right hand IMMEDIATELY UNDERNEATH THE LEFT ARM OF THEIR PARTNER, ON THE SHOULDER BLADE OR UPPER RIBS.

Your waist is the bendy space between your rib cage and your pelvis. Bend to one side; see the crease where your skin kind of pinches together? That’s your waist. If the dude puts their hand that low, it absolutely hamstrings your ability to lead properly and do things like spins or lifts or anything like that, AND it can cause SERIOUSLY PAINFUL HIP CRAMPS. Like, socket pain, low back pain, muscle aches in your thigh, etc. It hurts so bad.

Also, if your blorbos are dancing somewhere with other people, like a fancy party or something, or anytime they want to be able to do something other than list off “hey, let’s go in this direction” or “let’s do this move next” or anything, or if they aren’t familiar with their partner and the dance doesn’t have exact choreographed steps that everyone at the party knows, basically any time one person is ACTUALLY leading and the other is expected to follow whatever they do, hips are going to be touching.

This doesn’t apply AS much to Latin dances (cha-cha, rumba, salsa, etc.), but for something like a waltz, foxtrot, Viennese waltz, etc., the ones that have the big elegant ball gowns and the fancy tuxedos and such, the way one partner leads is A) with their arms in proper position, and B) with their hips touching their partner’s. It’s staggered, crotch-to-thigh, so that if the dude steps forward with his right leg, he’s stepping between the girl’s legs, and if she steps forward with her right, it’s the same. This way you know exactly what the other person is doing at any given moment, and you’re less likely to trip over each other’s feet.

Also, hips and face are basically magnetic. Hips are N/S, so they stay stuck together. Faces are N/N or S/S, and are repelled from each other. That’s where the elegant arching of the back comes from. I’m sure you don’t need my help figuring out the implications for your slow burn enemies-to-lovers unresolved sexual tension fic there.

Please. I’m dying here. Just, put the hands in the right spot. That’s the main thing. It’s all I’m asking.

Signed,

- I did ballroom in high school

[clanborn]

not really relevant to my blog but i’m curious what the common opinion regarding “closed species” is on here

[rowanoftheunknown]

one of the worst parts about being a watcher fan rn is that in theory I think having paywalled series isn't that bad and people are being needlessly eat the rich about it, but on a personal level the two series I don't like and don't watch are ghost files and dish granted, and they're the most expensive shows to produce....... Like I'm seeing a potential solution here

[welcometogrouchland]

Remember when people would make gifsets and analysis posts and stuff about the meanings behind characters names, and find a interpretation that- regardless of whether or not it was intentional- added like another layer to the characters story??? That shit was amazing I miss it

[catgirlkirigiri]

Can I still get into Heaven if i kill myself?

[databent]

(goes to google) (looks up "american goldfinch plush") ooouuuuu... birdie...

[greenerteacups]

This is ofc very random but I absolutely love how you wrote Harry and his reactions to people arguing loudly or just generally arguing around him. SO that being said, do you make a written sheet keeping track of each characters personalities and traits and maybe even background stories? I really think all of your side characters are well written and isn't two dimensional at all and thats one of the MANY reasons why this fic is one of the best Ive read ((maybe not just fic but books in general))

This is really lovely, thank you so much! I don't keep a spreadsheet, though I do have a section of my outline doc that's basically a mini-bible for misc. characters — eye color, hair color, what their parents do, where they live, trivia that I can't remember on command. When it comes to characterization, I keep consistency through voice. If a character sounds the same, they'll feel the same, and inversely, if I can't imagine a character's voice saying something, then it's a good sign I need to stop and figure out what I'm actually trying to have them say. Or just restructure the story! Sometimes I throw something down in my outline, get around to writing the scene weeks later, and realize that the character went somewhere different, and I like the new direction better. Some authors describe this as characters having "lives of their own," but I think it's just ... authors having fun. You explored a new direction, you liked it more, you went with it.

Voice is much easier to get right when you've been working with the same cast as long as I have — Draco's voice has become so easy it's sort of like slipping into a second skin, though that's probably not helpful (like, "try writing 300,000 words from your character's POV, really helps you nail the cadence!" is not exactly Hemingway-grade advice). But even when you only have someone for three lines, it's crazy how much information you can fit in. Accents, slang, forms of address, level of formality, how fast are they talking, how long do they talk, do they gesture, how much — answering those questions requires you to think about where they come from, and how they approach a situation, and once you do that, you have a person. Even if you don't have a story arc, you still have a person.

[chevaliermalfets]

OF COURSE the jury president for my candidacy exam is a magnetic materials guy

[aparticularbandit]

i just realized. re: the very long this post.

in ultimate ventriloquist's murder trial. the victim was monokuma.

like. nobody actually died. and junko would probably think that killing off the puppet that killed monokuma was an equivalent exchange. good bit, good fun, reset to center, no more puppets as people, the joke ran its route, good on everyone!

ultimate ventriloquist wasn't supposed to actually die. it was...it was a bit. a joke!

no wonder it gave junko the shakes.

....

this is either a case 2 or a case 4. i'm not sure which.

probably a case 4.

[catwingsthespatula]

Found some anti-Dracula pills at the pharmacy :)

[taniushka12]

yknow im just noticing the way mold hosts seem to be eating the environment's mold before they notice you, which suggest that the mold spreads first and the hosts are just following it, instead of my original statement that the hosts were the carrier of the mold !

[fallloverfic]

I went overboard (and kinda cheated cause some of these were just a lot smaller to nonexistent when I started posting for them, but are definitely not now), so with the caveat this is only going by Archive of Our Own stats (and also thank you to all the amazing tag wranglers who have wrangled tags that have been the only fic in that pairing/fandom for ages, small fandom authors love you so much):

Blind Men has 15 fics total, mine is the most recent (over a year after posting), and it is the fifth Hunter/Keegan work.

Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon REMIX had 5 fics before I posted the first Alex Taylor/Dolph Laserhawk fic. There are now 213 fics total and 21 Alex/Dolph fics.

It's hard to tell with this fandom because of active fandoms, backdating, and crossovers, but I posted the second fic for Castlevania: Nocturne and Mizrak/Olrox (I know because I went immediately to the tag after watching and I checked it before and after posting mine). There are now 216 fics in the fandom tag and 86 for the pairing. I also posted the second fic for Alucard/Olrox (it's been shifted out of order because another fic either backdated or added the pairing, but one reason I finally put mine up was because the only fic for the pairing at the time was one solely based on the games that predated the show by 8 years). There are now 6 fics for the pairing. I posted the third of the now 12 Olrox/Richter fics.

I created the Dorus/Styxx pairing for the Dark-Hunter Series. I still have the only fic. Dorus isn't an original character (he's a minor acquaintance in the book who meets Styxx twice), but I almost completely retconned his backstory and personality.

I started and was the entirety of the Dear Monster tag for some time (I wrote 3, there are now 4, with one published almost a year after my last fic), and I also published the only Faeryn/Allen fic.

I posted 1 of the 26 Rouxls Kaard/Mettaton fics for Deltarune/Undertale.

I posted the only Ameridan/Kordillus Drakon I fic from Dragon Age: Inquisition. I published the first Lacklon/Roland fic for Dragon Age: Absolution. There are now 19 fics. As I recall it was only like the third or fourth fic at most in the fandom tag at the time, but this is another fandom that's hard to track due to active fandoms, backdating, and crossovers.

Element of Fire has 6 fics. Mine is the most recent and I posted the only Roland Fontainon/Gideon fic. And Roland Fontainon/Falaise, but I don't fully consider that the fic focus so. I think it's also the only one that even includes Roland.

I posted 1 of the 38 Augus Each Uisge/Gwyn ap Nudd fics for Fae Tales - not_poignant. That's 1 out of 15 if you only count fanworks, since all the canon and official AUs are included in the tag. I published both the 2 fanfics for Eran Iliakambar/Mosk Manytrees (the other 4 works are all canon and an official AU). I published the only fanwork for Anika/Terho (the other fic is a canon extra).

I created the crossover pairing Wing/Murata Ugetsu for Hunter X Hunter and Given and have the only fic for it.

I posted the only tagged Clark Kent/Lewis Lane fic for My Adventures with Superman. But I can't believe there isn't something else out there for a character who's technically existed since 1980. There may be one in German and another in English that's tagged for Louis Lane, the 1980 character(s), but they both predate My Adventures with Superman by some years.

I posted 1 of the 11 fics for Brad Boimler/Jack Ransom for Star Trek: Lower Decks.

I posted the most recent 2 of the 4 Van Fanel/Allen Schezar fics for Escaflowne.

I posted the only Lisava Ormevar/Aathis Rohethar fic for The Chronicles of Osreth.

I posted the 2 most recent The Hunt fics, and all 3 fandom fics are for Hendrey/Cash (fic 1, fic 2).

I posted 1 of the 32 Link/Tauro fics. I also went looking back when I posted and at least back then I couldn't find Link/those funky tower mechanical arm tentacles, so maybe I was the first with that? Only two fics pop up when I search for them now.

This is another fandom where it's hard to track things due to active fandoms, backdating, etc., but I recall I published the second Jaskier/Radovid V fic, and maybe the first focused on the Netflix show version (the one prior to that, as I recall, was game and/or book focused). I remember being surprised there still weren't that many when I posted my second one. Pretty sure the pairing was still in the double digits. There are now 326. I published one of the first couple fics for Filavandrel aen Fidhail/Vesemir, and I believe the first or second to specifically focus on their incarnations in The Witcher: Nightmare of the Wolf. There are now 37 fics.

This isn't a pairing but I somehow published the only fanfic for the Tomb Raider Top Cow comics tag? Similarly, I started the Golden Sparkle by Minta Suzumaru tag.

I published 1 of 32 fics for Anna Valerious/Gabriel Van Helsing for Van Helsing (2004).

I published the third of 5 fics for Dietfried Bougainvillea/Claudia Hodgins from Violet Evergarden. I think the last published before mine (that's currently a WIP) one came out cause I went on a sort of hiatus while posting.

This is another fandom where it's hard to track things due to active fandoms, backdating, etc., but my fic is listed as the 9th for Rand al'Thor/Ishamael. There are now 45.

My Shutendouji/Ryo fic is the seventh and most recent fic for the pairing for Ronin Warriors. When I originally made this post, it was the sixth. I assume someone backdated a fic or retagged it.

I published the second of the now 10 Jin Marito/Tahide Outa fics for a fandom with now 82 works (Bucchigiri?!).

This is another fandom where it's hard to track things due to active fandoms, backdating, etc., but I think I posted one of the first 20 Gongyi Xiao/Zhuzhi-lang fics for The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System. There are now 96. I posted 1 of the 30 Liu Qingge/Zhuzhi-lang fics.

There are 46 works in the Kyuujitsu no Warumono-san webcomic tag and 8 in the anime tag. I think I posted the third Akatsuki Red/Shogun fic (and there are now 13), and the first Rooney/Shogun fic. There are now 3. I've posted the second of the 2 Shogun/Yoiyami Black fics.

I posted fic #4 in the See You My King/The King and Me tag, and the first Xiao Wei/Evtiti fic. There are now 2/3(?) (it's hard to tell because the tag hasn't been wrangled). I also posted the eighth and most recent Mimi/Zhang Li fic. There are 10 fics total.

I posted the first fic for Lang Qianqiu/Xiao Mengyou or Lang Qianqiu/Xiao Shiwei, but I believe the second fic about Xiao Mengyou (the first one didn't name him). There are now 12 fics in the tag.

I posted technically the second fic of the 2 for Peach Blossom Debt. The other fic is just two words that say, "Coming 2024". Mine is the only one for Song Yao/Hengwen Qingjun.

I posted the second most recent of 9 total fics for The Imperial Uncle, and it's the second for Jing Chengjun/Liu Tongyi.

I posted the most recent 2 of still 3 fics for The Deer King, which includes 1 of 2 fics for Hohsalle Yuguraul/Van Gansa, and the only fic for Hohsalle Yuguraul/Makokan.

I posted the still only fic for Joseph Huh/Yongsoo Ahn in a fandom that I think had a lot fewer fics before mine back when I posted it, but it has 55 now. I am using the official English translation spellings. I'm not sure what Ao3 is using.

I posted one of now 9 total fics for Choi Jong-In/Sung Jin-Woo in Solo Leveling.

I posted the second and most recent fic for Jaehwan/Karlton Javier for The World After the Fall. The fandom tag has 31 fics now.

I've posted 2 of the 15 fics for Anubis/Khnum in ENNEAD (fic 1, fic 2).

I've posted apparently the second of 3 works tagged for Lee Hakhyun/Yoo Joonghyuk for Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint.

I've posted the second of two fics for Chronos/Zagreus in the Hades fandom. I've posted the only Heracles/Icarus fic. I posted the first of now 10 total Odysseus/Moros fics.

For Blood of Zeus, I've posted the latest of 5 fics for Apollo/Seraphim. I posted the last two Seraphim/Heron fics in the 10 fic tag (fic 1, fic 2).

Not a ship, but I posted the first Mithrun & Milsiril fic for Delicious in Dungeon.

I'm currently writing a series of non-existent ships in the Ayashi no Ceres tag. Thus far I've posted one for Alec/Ryurik and another for Alec/Kagami. I have five others planned, all for unique ships that have zero fics. The only m/m fic in the fandom tag is only tagged for characters from another series.

I've written two of the 12 Lawrence Bluewer/Edgar Redmond fics for Kuroshitsuji (fic 1, fic 2).

For The Sea Beast (2022), I wrote one of the five Jacob Holland/Original Character fics, and the only tagged Jacob Holland/The Surgeon fics.

For BoJack Horseman, I've written one of the 69 BoJack Horseman/Mr. Peanutbutter fics.

For Bridgerton, I've written the only Anthony Bridgerton/Lord Lumley fic.

For Epic: The Musical, I wrote one of now seven Eurylochus/Odysseus fics.

For Dark Rise, I've written one of 46 Anharion/Sarcean fics.

Reblog and put your rare pair in the tags/comments! I want to see the depths people will go to create, for the most random two characters in the most obscure media.

[nogoodanswers]

I was reorganizing stuff earlier and decided to reread the onk/rwby crossover I had been working on (well, one of them at least) and now I kinda wanna post it

Should probably still let it sit for a while and do some editing beforehand, but now that I've talked about it I'm obligated to post it (eventually) so hopefully I'll actually end up working on it at some point

...no im not procrastinating working on i.f. whatever are you talking about

[primatechnosynthpop]

While writing the first part of my script for a potential video project, I was very aware that I was channeling a certain youtuber, but now that it's time to actually read the stuff I wrote out loud in my own voice and not his, I'm realizing that this may be a problem

[moodboardsbysarah]

medical remedies for creepy exes who make you feel watched in your sleep

Dua Lipa

Ariana Grande

La Dispute

inspirational speeches by Taylor Swift

^^^ Doing visual art with all of the above content in your earphones

bananas

collagen powder

dedicating yourself to the pursuit of beauty (real beauty that speaks to the soul and has your personal touch, not trashy corporate beauty)

cooking avocados and eggs

GARDENING (solution to all woes tbh)

highly nutritious seaweed

heavy metal detox smoothies

Doing all the healthy stuff you usually do and gently reminding yourself that you are not being watched, you are not a voyeuristic fetish for him even if he chooses to treat you that way, you have plenty of love and light to give to those worthy who let you exist in peace, you are a full human being and not a mommy sexbot for a creep who thinks otherwise, and you are going to continue thriving

[maxlarens]

OP: well, that isn't fucking relevant

pairing(s): oscar piastri x mercedes driver!reader

summary: someone tries to threaten your job, oscar has some choice words for him. (OR: the trials and tribulations of being a woman in a male dominated sport)

word count: 2.7k+

an: i kinda hate the white knight trope but i still wrote this lol, it scratches an itch and i think driver!reader did a sufficient amount of defending of herself beforehand. anyway, this is a one shot that's kind of connected to my smau series just a girl. enjoy!!!!! [also standard disclaimer: this does not reflect the opinions of any real life people/companies/organisations/etc. it is fiction. thank you]

You’re no stranger to sexism in Formula racing— you knew going into this that you’d have to deal with thinly veiled remarks about your gender and purposefully obtuse questions from reporters who think they know more than you about the sport you’ve dedicated your life to. You had to deal with it when you were karting, you had to deal with it during your stint in F2, and you have to deal with it now.

The fact of the matter is that some people do not think you belong here, and therefore are entirely unable to integrate the reality that you are very much here to stay, into their worldview. You’re lucky to have somehow earned Lewis’ loyalty, which had brought the Mercedes contract and the support of Toto simultaneously. Mercedes-AMG aren’t making leaps and bounds into the world of feminism, but you’re grateful for the seat regardless. You’re here and not going anywhere if you can help it.

You try your best to stay off the bad parts of social media, so as not to be subjected to the barrage of hate comments and death threats directed your way. You’re tough— but no one’s that tough. It’s fine for the most part. You focus on the racing, how the car feels, your performance and improving it weekend after weekend. You try at least. You’d love to leave your gender entirely out of the mix, you don’t think it’s relevant frankly. But unfortunately, the reporters do. (And so do some choice individuals working on the grid, who just can’t seem to keep their big fucking mouths shut about you.)

It’s disappointing, sure— but not surprising to sit down at a press conference and get a smattering of questions about your rumoured relationships and extracurricular activities when every other driver gets fifty questions practically thrown at them about their performance, or FIA regulations, or the track conditions. The part that bothers you the most is honestly just the lack of interest. It’s like they don’t think anything you have to say about the sport is valuable so they just don’t ask you the same questions they bother to ask the men. That probably is the actual case too.

So— y’know— you’re not that shocked when a reporter from some sports blog you’ve never heard of straight out asks if you “expect to be switched out with another female driver next year?”

The room goes dead fucking silent in a way that you do actually find satisfying. It’s good to know that most of the reporters in the room do know a tactless question when they hear one, or at least that you inspire enough fear in people that they’re waiting with bated breath to hear your response. Next to you, Oscar tenses, you can feel it where your thighs are touching. You can imagine his face right now without looking, that pinched micro-grimace he does. The barest hint of a crease in the bridge of his nose as he tries not to scowl. You want to put your hand on his knee and squeeze it in thanks.

You don’t. Instead, you frown and cock your head to the side, meeting the eyes of the reporter across the room.

Slowly, measuredly, you repeat, “I’m sorry, do I expect to be replaced with another female driver next year? Is that what you said?”

He nods, bringing the microphone closer to his mouth as if you really couldn’t hear him the first time, “Yes, yeah. That is what I asked.”

You hum, pursing your lips as if you’re sincerely considering his question. You can see a few people in the crowd who are cringing already, some of them have been on the receiving end of your tendency to play with your food before you eat it. Your ego feels pretty good about that.

“Why would Mercedes want to replace me?” you ask in your most polite voice, feigning real curiosity to this man who you doubt has done any research at all on you.

“Um,” he errs, some of his former unflappable confidence leeching out of his tone, “Well, to give more women a chance in Formula One—”

You start to speak over him, done with entertaining his ignorance. You bite, “—there are other teams for that, actually. I don’t think it’s presumptuous to say that I’ve earned my seat at Mercedes, or that I’ve proven that I belong here so far this season. In which, I have not qualified or placed below a P7. And I certainly don’t think it’s fair of you to ask if I am going to voluntarily give up my hard-earned seat to another person because you think I am here because of some women’s inclusion effort by Mercedes. And, okay, who knows, maybe I am. But I am not giving up this seat without a fight, nor do I imagine that Mercedes are in a rush to find someone to replace me right now. You’ll have to ask someone to confirm that though.”

You wind down after that, punctuating your point with a firm nod; some of the fight and the fury seeping out as you start to reckon with the potential consequences of your outburst. Mercedes’ PR rep will have something to say surely, you’re just hoping you haven’t crossed some kind of uncrossable line. Another part of you doesn’t quite care as you watch the reporter gape like a fish out of water, feeling rather satisfied that you’d put him in his place.

Eventually, the room recovers and moves on from you. Checo is getting asked his opinion on tyres while you share a furtive glance with Oscar. He smiles approvingly, mouth closed and the apples of his cheeks pushed up into his eyes. You feel the urge to touch his knee again but resist, instead smiling back as covertly as you possibly can. A warm feeling spreads in your chest and you almost forget about the reporter and his stupid question in favour of watching Oscar’s slow-burn smile.

Mercedes is fine with it, it turns out. Apparently, you’re doing the heavy lifting for them in the feminism department and all they have to do is have Toto or someone come out and say a few words in agreement. It suits them fine, they don’t need to take any hard stances and you get the blame if anything goes horribly wrong. That grates at you, of course it does. But you’ve got a seat, haven’t you? You’re not going to give it up because Mercedes are covering their asses like the multibillion-dollar company that they are.

It means you’ve avoided the all-hands-on-deck PR meeting you thought you’d be stuck in tonight, but it’s left you in too sour a mood for this party. It’s some function, fundraiser, something or other and they’ve invited all the teams, drivers and ‘important’ FIA staff. This means there’s an inordinate amount of people here and you’re really not into it.

But you’re still here. You’ve shoved yourself into a cute, strappy, black top, and a denim mini-skirt and you’ve even added some cute jewellery in a feeble attempt to match whatever over-the-top outfit Lewis has arrived in. It’s at least a step up from your usual team polo and leggings, or the Mercedes hoodie that you pull on over it. You’re comfortable. You’re fine.

You pull a hand out of the pocket of your oversized leather jacket as Oscar comes back over with your beer. You smile at the expression on his face as you take the neck in between your fingers. He’s scowling openly, the corners of his lips curled up in distaste.

“Busy?” you ask, then you hold up the beer in thanks, “Cheers, by the way.”

“Hmm, too crowded,” he affirms, “I lost Lando.”

You shrug, taking a swig of the refreshingly cold beer, “Actually? Or did he run off with someone?”

Oscar snorts, “Yeah, no. He got into a conversation with Max.”

You laugh, “Yeah, in that case, I reckon we’ll see Lando in a few hours.”

“Definitely.”

The two of you share an amused smile before you’re back to looking into the crowd because sometimes, it’s hard for you to look at him— like looking directly into the sun. You’re aware of him in your periphery, standing there and rocking back and forth on his heels, occasionally taking a sip of his drink. He looks away for a moment, and you turn to look at him. Taking in the endearing swoop of his hair, the scattering of freckles and moles on the side of his pale face, the long line of his neck disappearing into the collar of his shirt. You shift your eyes slightly to the right of him, to the patchwork of vents and scaffolding in the ceiling, feigning as if you’d only been casually looking his way.

“That reporter was a piece of work,” Oscar says once he’s drifted his attention back to you.

You roll your eyes on instinct, and groan, “Tell me about it, holy shit, Osc. What an asshole. I don’t know if he was just stupid or legit didn’t know a single thing about me.”

“Mm,” Oscar hums in agreement, “and I like how no one asked you a single question after that. Way to go guys, that’s exactly how you show your support.”

You roll your eyes, still smiling a little at the contented feeling you’ve got in your chest, “I know, right. Trust, they all got on their keyboards afterwards to wax lyrical about how deserving I am of my seat. It’d be fucken’ nice if they acted like it during press conferences.”

“Yeaah,” he sighs, half-laugh, half-exhale, “It’s unfair.”

“Fucken' right,” you gripe, tipping your head back and letting a slip of fizzy beer cascade down your throat— the alcohol, though meagre, leaves you feeling loose, a little reckless, “It sucks Osc. God, I just want to be respected. If I had a dick and balls I’d be fucking killing it, dude. This is my rookie season, I’ve been scoring points every race. Except for the DNF, which was not my fault. But, fuck me, they don’t give a shit.”

You squeeze your eyes shut to stave off the angry tears that are sitting behind your eyelids, threatening. When you open them Oscar is staring at you, frowning, his brown eyes huge and sparkling and sympathetic. They’re like a black hole you want to fall into. Your heart squeezes. He’s so— ugh. Quickly, your mind supplies about a hundred answers to that question: sweet, cute, nice, adorable. Something stutters in your chest and you feel your cheeks starting to grow hot. That slow-burn smile of Oscar’s starts on his face, and you watch dimples form on his cheeks.

The moment is quickly ruined by a particularly nasally Italian accent that you vaguely recognise, “You know,” it says, clearly talking to you, “You should make sure to watch your tone. You never know who could be listening.”

Mood thoroughly dampened, you turn to face the interruption. It turns out to be one of the numerous men on the grid who won’t shut up about you, sharing unsolicited opinions left and right. He has his arms crossed against his chest and a smug expression on his face, as if he’s just caught you doing something terrible— instead of simply complaining about the subpar treatment you’re afforded.

He’s not worth your time whatsoever but God you’re angry. Maybe it’s just been too much shit on top of shit today but you cannot deal reasonably with this man right now— and you are not afforded the luxury of not acting reasonably toward someone like this, no matter how much of a dickhead they are. You open your mouth. Close it. Open it again. Close it and bite down on your bottom lip so nothing accidentally slips out. You’re trying to fish a semi-civil sentence out of a sea of fuck you fuck you fuck you on repeat and it’s not working.

“Are you threatening her?” Oscar asks, a dangerous lilt to his tone, and somewhere in the pulse of anger, you think this is the happiest you’ve ever been to hear his voice, “Because, I am pretty sure your team principal would not be pleased to hear that you’re going around threatening one of Mercedes’ drivers.”

He scoffs, trying to play it off, but you think you register a little bit of worry somewhere in there— Oscar can be threatening when he wants to be and McLaren are not exactly nobodies in this sport right now, “Please, I am not threatening her. I am just telling her that she needs to watch her mouth.”

“Right,” Oscar nods, mouth pinching, “Sure. Well, it would be our word against yours and I’m fairly sure your team principal would believe two drivers over you right now. Especially with that history, you’ve got, dude.”

A little thrill goes up your spine as his face goes white as a sheet. Oscar’s talking about the nice little list of comments he’s made that you’ve reported to your team and an FIA representative— which you’ve taken to doing every time anyone starts up a pattern of saying things about you or to you. They’re to cover your ass honestly, so you can’t be accused of making things up if push comes to shove. You’re sure they’ve made their way back to him and his boss; you’re glad they’ve made an impact (but perhaps not enough to stop him outright).

He sniffs, a nervous edge to his words, “I am not threatening her.”

“Okay. Apologise.”

“Excuse me?”

Oscar raises an eyebrow, “If you’re not threatening her, apologise.”

You bite the inside of your lip and grip the neck of your near-empty beer bottle tighter. Alright, Oscar can be scary. Noted. Very much noted.

“I—” He quickly thinks better of protesting and looks at you, lips pursed in a thin angry line, “I apologise.”

He looks at Oscar, Oscar looks at you. You shrug and nod. Good enough. You don’t need him to grovel, you think he’s been sufficiently humiliated already. Although, before he scampers off into the crowd at Oscar’s approval, you manage a dry, “You think I need to watch my tone now?”

He scowls, but says, “No,” anyway.

Then he stalks off into the throng of people.

You relax more the further that he gets away from the two of you. The tension dissipates into something warm and charged with a different kind of electricity entirely. You ignore the unease that tries to take root in your stomach and instead focus on Oscar at your side.

“That was—” you scrub a hand over your face, starting your sentence again, “Hm.”

Oscar sigh-laughs again, “Yeah, what an asshole.”

“Thank you,” you say meaning it wholeheartedly, “No one’s done something like that for me before.”

Oscar looks down at you, frowning, he shakes his head, “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” you answer, feeling bold as you put a hand on his bicep in an attempt to express how grateful you feel for him, for what he’d done for you, “It’s really not, Osc.”

He’s quiet, staring at you with big brown sparkling eyes for a long long moment. A long moment in which you fantasise about reaching upward and pulling his face down to yours, feeling his lips against your own. They’d be soft, you think— his hair would be too. You don’t think about it and you resolutely ignore the tug low in your gut.

“You deserve it,” he says eventually, loud enough that you can hear it, but not anyone else, “You are killing it, by the way.”

You breathe a laugh, “Yeah, I’d better be.”

You squeeze gently at his bicep, feeling the sinewed muscle underneath his dress shirt. Then you let your hand drop, trailing absently down his arm as you do so. Your fingers brush his hand, and he catches yours before it's out of reach at your side. Purposefully, he threads your fingers with his, squeezing firmly and brushing his thumb tenderly over your knuckle. You feel a little lightheaded when he lets go.

You sigh, masking the out-of-breath quality of your voice, “I need another drink.”

“Yeah,” Oscar breathes, “Me too, I reckon.”

🏎️ title taken from this song :)