#unless your fic deals with the goings on of the nether regions I spose

[nikkilbook]

Dear fanfic writers of the world:

Please. I’m begging you. If your blorbos are supposed to be dancing together, PLEASE stop writing that the leading partner put their hand on the other’s waist.

When dancing, the following partner (traditionally the lady) puts their left hand on the leading partner (traditionally the dude)’s upper arm, usually just below the deltoid. Just barely off the shoulder. The leader puts their right hand IMMEDIATELY UNDERNEATH THE LEFT ARM OF THEIR PARTNER, ON THE SHOULDER BLADE OR UPPER RIBS.

Your waist is the bendy space between your rib cage and your pelvis. Bend to one side; see the crease where your skin kind of pinches together? That’s your waist. If the dude puts their hand that low, it absolutely hamstrings your ability to lead properly and do things like spins or lifts or anything like that, AND it can cause SERIOUSLY PAINFUL HIP CRAMPS. Like, socket pain, low back pain, muscle aches in your thigh, etc. It hurts so bad.

Also, if your blorbos are dancing somewhere with other people, like a fancy party or something, or anytime they want to be able to do something other than list off “hey, let’s go in this direction” or “let’s do this move next” or anything, or if they aren’t familiar with their partner and the dance doesn’t have exact choreographed steps that everyone at the party knows, basically any time one person is ACTUALLY leading and the other is expected to follow whatever they do, hips are going to be touching.

This doesn’t apply AS much to Latin dances (cha-cha, rumba, salsa, etc.), but for something like a waltz, foxtrot, Viennese waltz, etc., the ones that have the big elegant ball gowns and the fancy tuxedos and such, the way one partner leads is A) with their arms in proper position, and B) with their hips touching their partner’s. It’s staggered, crotch-to-thigh, so that if the dude steps forward with his right leg, he’s stepping between the girl’s legs, and if she steps forward with her right, it’s the same. This way you know exactly what the other person is doing at any given moment, and you’re less likely to trip over each other’s feet.

Also, hips and face are basically magnetic. Hips are N/S, so they stay stuck together. Faces are N/N or S/S, and are repelled from each other. That’s where the elegant arching of the back comes from. I’m sure you don’t need my help figuring out the implications for your slow burn enemies-to-lovers unresolved sexual tension fic there.

Please. I’m dying here. Just, put the hands in the right spot. That’s the main thing. It’s all I’m asking.

Signed,

- I did ballroom in high school