#in tow sometime in the next 3 years.

[madtomedgar]

I do think we need to start seriously looking at and addressing the social consequences of women having children, not just the economic ones. Anecdotally, it's not uncommon for me to know or hear about college educated middle class or above women who decide to have kids and then just. Cease to exist as anything but childcare workers for at least 6 years. Maybe they get a "break" by going to work. But their lives as individual adults get totally annihilated by the demands of childcare. I also feel like that is a not uncommon reason for choosing not to have, or delaying, or not having more, kids. Women want to have time and space to see friends and go to concerts and bars and movies and read books and watch movies for grown ups, and have grown up conversations. And this isn't a new thing. Adrienne Rich talks about ot in her writings on motherhood. But it's not taken seriously because I think it's seen as selfish and petty to want a break from good night moon so you can drink g and ts with your friends and discuss the craziest podcast drama of the week. But like. It is serious and it needs to be taken seriously because women with children are still adults with adult social needs.

[wispyxjae]

touch and feel

day 14: overstimulation/massaging/begging with hwang intak

genre: smut, 18+ mdni

wc: 4.9k

summary: intak has been your massage therapist for a few months now. you don’t know if it’s the actual magic in his hands or it’s just your seemingly silly crush on him but you can’t go to anyone else for massages. one night he makes an exception for you to see him after hours.

cw: dom massage therapist!intak x sub!reader, porn with plot, strangers to lovers, massaging, begging, overstimulation, dirty talk, fingering, intak accidentally walks in on you naked once, pretty as a pet name, praise, body worship(?), sensory deprivation kind of (reader is laying face down on the table for most of it)

a/n: this is my first time ever writing a full fic with plot and it’s for piwontober! thank you sooo so much @sxfterhearts and @kisseobie for hosting such a wonderful event. i'm so grateful to get the opportunity to write for this event alongside all these amazing writers ♡ and thank you to my bb @hazyhae for beta reading <3

the first time you meet intak, it’s your first time at the massage spa he’s a manager and massage therapist at. your best friend, being the sweet angel she is, handed you a free voucher for this place she’s been going to for the last few months while you guys were out at saturday brunch.

“you know,” she meets your eyes. “you deserve to treat yourself every once in a while,” her big doe eyes stare at you, concern flashing through them. you smile softly at her.

“thanks for looking out for me y/f/n,” you thank her sincerely. the both of you know how many hours you’re working in a week, spending at least 8 hours a day (sometimes 10 depending on the time of year) hunched in front of a computer.

of course your shitty company turned down the idea of implementing standing desks or higher quality office chairs, so you’re consistently stuck with tight hips, sore shoulders, and a killer stiff neck.

you decide to go the very next day as you, surprisingly, didn’t have anything planned on a sunday. usually, you’d be grocery shopping or prepping for the week ahead, but you took care of that with your best friend before brunch so your sunday was free for a much needed self-care day.

the moment you walk through the doors of serenity spa, an insanely cute guy greets you with these big brown eyes that sparkle at you as he speaks. “hi, welcome to serenity spa! do you have an appointment with us?” his eyes are big and round, staring up at you.

“i don’t,” you shake your head. you reach in your purse for the voucher and present it to him. “but i have this voucher for a free massage? it’s my first time here and i saw i could just walk in.”

he takes the paper from your hands while smiling. “that’s perfect! here, you can take a seat and just fill out this preference sheet,” he says, handing you a clipboard and pen. you follow as he says and get to scribbling on the sheet.

“y/n, 60 minutes, full back massage, light pressure, and aromatherapy,” he repeats your choices back to you. “you don’t have a preference for a therapist, right?” he double checks your paper and glances up at you, your breath catching in your throat at the sudden eye contact as you shake your head no.

“it seems that everyone else has a client, but lucky for you my books are actually free for the next hour. so i can take care of you for your first time if you’d like?” his plush lips turning up into a smile.

you finally glance at his name tag which reads intak and head manager right under.

“that sounds great actually,” you return the smile, a light blush dusting your cheeks as you realize how intimate he could possibly get on the first meeting. “but that’s his job,” you have to remind yourself before you end up psyching out.

he leads you to a room where the lights are dim, a handful of lit candles are placed throughout, and there’s soft spa music playing from a speaker.

“alright y/n, just go ahead and get undressed. you can lay on your front and cover yourself with this towel. i’ll give you a few minutes,” intak explains, gesturing toward the massage bed with a small cover up and towel for your privacy placed nicely in the center.

you let the door close behind him before you move to place your bag on the small table in the corner of the room. you follow his directions, pushing any embarrassing thoughts of getting naked in front of this incredibly attractive stranger on the first meeting.

lying down on the table, you gently place your head through the hole and pull the towel over your butt before resting your arms by your side as you stare at the ground, taking a few deep breaths to get rid of your nerves. it’s just a massage.

the massage goes incredibly smoothly with the help of intak’s professionalism soothing any worries you had. his large warm palms worked their magic all around your back and shoulders, working gently through the knots you had built up under the skin.

you were so lost in time, his hands distracting you from thinking of anything that could possibly stress you that you almost whine in protest at the end of your massage, wishing you had booked him for longer.

you hear him wipe his hands on a towel before wiping lightly the excess massage oil off your back and arms.

“i’ll let you get dressed and you can meet me back at the front desk to get you checked out, alright?” you hum in agreement, feeling a bit sleepy after the complete relaxation session you just had.

he chuckles at the slight rasp in your voice after such a quiet session, since you only replied in hums any time he asked you if the pressure he was applying was okay, or if the temperature of the warm towels he used were alright.

“just take your time, there’s no rush,” he reassures you softly. thank god you were lying face down so he couldn’t see the blush on your cheeks.

you get redressed and grab your bag before checking out at the front desk.

“and did you want to book your next appointment at this time?” intak asks.

“yeah, why not?” you smile at him. he nods before clicking around on the computer. he schedules your next appointment for a month out at the same time as today.

“did you want to book me again or see a different massage therapist?” you blush at his question, already knowing you wanted to feel his incredible hands on you again. that’s not weird, right?

“i guess i wouldn’t mind seeing you again,” you tease him, a smile creeping onto your face. “oh, and can you make it a 90-minute appointment this time?” you ask shyly. “i actually wish this session was longer because you’ve got some mad skills,” you have to mumble to save yourself a bit.

“oh so i’ve already got you hooked after one visit, huh?” he smirks back at you, a small giggle leaving his lips. “don’t worry, y/n, i’ve got you.” he grabs a card from the acrylic holder in front of him, scribbling down your appointment details with a pen. you roll your eyes but can’t wipe your smile away.

“thanks. i’ll see you next month, intak,” you reply, turning to walk out before you can get any more embarrassed. what you don’t see is intak cheesing like an idiot for the rest of the day after you leave.

the third time you meet intak, it’s at your third appointment which you happened to book just 2 weeks after the second one instead of another month out.

it’s not that work got any worse than it already was, or that you had other stressors in your life. you don’t even really work out hard enough to really be sore.

to be quite frank, you simply couldn’t get enough of not just his hands (hell, you even start to add other body areas to your sessions now that you’ve gotten more comfortable with him), but now his company as well.

during your second appointment, you made a conscious effort to initiate more small talk with intak. you couldn’t help but want to learn more about him and this time wouldn’t be different from the last.

after intak leads you to his massage room and leaves you be, you start your usual routine of putting your belongings on the corner table before undressing. this time, though, you get distracted by the buzzing of your phone in your bag. you reach for it to put it on do not disturb, and you miss the knock at the door.

you don’t react fast enough before it swings open, a yelp escaping your lips as your hands come up to cover yourself as much as you can.

“oh! shit, i’m so sorry,” intak mutters before shutting the door. in all his time of working here he has never accidentally walked in on anyone until now. and of course it was you. he presses his hands to his face to cool himself down, walking back to the front desk to take a sip of cold water to bring him back to his senses.

your heart is racing while you stand vulnerably alone in the massage room. you put your phone away and settle onto the massage table like normal. god, how was the rest of this appointment gonna go now?

after what feels like forever, there’s another knock at the door, and this time intak remembers to ask if you’re ready for him.

“yeah, i’m ready,” you reply, clearing your throat afterwards. once intak takes a deep breath, he enters the room, proceeding as usual.

“i am so sorry about that, y/n,” he starts to apologize, genuine worry in his voice as the guilt pangs in his chest. “i’m not going to make any excuses but it was a genuine accident.” the last thing he wanted was to make you uncomfortable, but he wanted to respect your boundaries.

“it’s okay!” you blurt out a bit too quickly. “it was a mistake and you really do sound like you feel bad, so apology accepted,” you continue, hoping to ease his concerns. “and hey, we can forget this ever happened as long as you work your magic like you always do.” you lift your head slightly in order to get a peek of him since you never get to see his face during these appointments.

intak sighs in relief, meeting your eyes and smiling apologetically. “thank you for understanding,” he says sincerely.

once he gets started, it feels like most, if not all, the tension in both the air and your muscles has faded out.

“so how long have you been a massage therapist for?” you asked, breathing deeply to try not to audibly react to his hands that worked through your calf muscles.

“it’s been a little over a year,” he replies. “i got the manager position here about 6 months ago now and i love it. i enjoy making a difference in people’s lives and their wellbeing,” he speaks fondly.

“you don’t need to take my word for it, but you deserve it. you’re amazing at what you do- ooooh,” your last word draws out as he digs a bit deeper into your leg.

he laughs at your reaction. “that didn’t hurt did it?” he soothes over the area with a broad hand as to not put any more pressure in case it did hurt.

“no! no, not at all. it felt really good,” you exhaled. “you’ve got some sorcery or something in those hands, intak, i swear.” his cheeks flush at your compliments.

“i’m just doing my job, y/n,” he mutters, not being able to accept such kind words from someone as pretty as you. he’s grateful you’re not facing him because he would not be handling this as coolly as he is now.

“can you tell me more about yourself?” you ask, voice a bit small as even you can’t believe you’re initiating this.

“hmm,” he hums, thinking of what to tell you. “when i’m not working, i’m at the gym. i love working out and improving myself. i usually lift weights but… i actually really love dancing too.”

your eyebrows raise, even though he can’t see you. “really?” you ask in disbelief. “i wish i could dance… maybe you can teach me someday,” you say through a smile.

“i would love to teach you,” he replies, chuckling. are you flirting with him right now? no… surely it’s just a friendly conversation.

“your girlfriend must be really lucky,” you say, immediately flustering yourself at how bold that statement was. “i mean, like imagine coming home from work and you just get one hell of a massage from your partner,” you stumble out, trying to cover for yourself, holding your breath.

“whoa, hey. relax your muscles for me and keep breathing. you’re tensing up,” intak points out, his hands gliding across your skin with the help of the massage oil. “and for the record, i’m single,” he adds, blood rushing to his cheeks. okay maybe you are flirting with him.

you exhale a little louder than you mean to, a great relief washing over you at this new knowledge. as if a lightbulb goes off above your head, you start brainstorming with more conversation topics. not wanting to make things awkward, you both move past this conversation and begin to talk about yourself to allow him to know about you too.

the fourth time you meet intak is at your fourth appointment. you booked this one for just a week after the last one, too impatient to wait an extra week to see him again.

after last week’s session of you two nonstop flirting in the massage room, you just wanted to see him even more often. your best friend even caught your change in attitude, noting you were happier and more lively ever since you started going to the spa for massages. you just blushed and brushed her off, not wanting her to tease you for crushing on your massage therapist.

today’s session was almost no different than the last, the two of you settling into a routine now.

you knew he started with the aromatherapy, letting you breathe in the scent of lavender for relaxation.

you knew he kindly moved any stray hairs away from your neck before settling into the muscles there.

you knew the paths he took on your body each time.

of course, you hadn’t changed up your preferences besides longer sessions and firmer pressure since the first session.

this time, though, you decided not to hold back on your sighs and sounds of pleasure as his dexterous fingers kneaded and relaxed your muscles.

you wanted to test the waters. at first, it really was just a reflex. you were a naturally sensitive and reactive person. you had just been holding back in front of intak in case things became awkward, or it was too unprofessional on your end.

after learning he was single, you never missed the way his eyes lit up when he spoke to you at the front desk, or the slight stutter in his answers when you asked him something a bit more personal. it was cute, really. there was just something about flustering a cute boy who already has his hands all over you.

it didn’t take much from him to draw out a few mewls from you. the first few times, he didn’t think much of it. his hands still moved steadily as they always did across the expanse of your back.

the more noises you made, the more intak’s hands, which are usually confident and firm, started to falter.

he clears his throat. “you’re sure i’m not hurting you, right y/n?” he asks, trying to keep his voice steady.

“intak, i would tell you if it hurt,” you reassured him. “it just feels really really good… you just really know how to work those hands.”

intak thanks whatever higher being there is that you can’t see him, otherwise you’d poke fun at how red and hot his cheeks and ears were getting. hell, his hands were even starting to sweat and he didn’t think that was possible with the oil covering his hands.

“why, is there something wrong?” you ask, trying to hide the smirk in your voice after noticing he couldn’t even reply back. there was no way you weren’t doing this on purpose…

“no, no,” he chokes out. “not at all… you’re just a bit more… reactive today and i just wanted to make sure you were comfortable… you know, with the pressure and everything,” intak babbles on. “but if everything’s okay i’m gonna continue with the massage.”

you hum back in response, deciding to spare the poor guy of your teasing.

the fifth time you meet intak is at your fifth appointment.

after the incident of your fourth appointment, intak shyly asked for your number (even though it was already in the system after your first visit; he didn’t wanna seem like a creep just taking it from the computer).

“you know, just in case you need an emergency visit from me,” he fibs. you laughed and agreed, reading out your number for him to shoot you a text.

“intak :)” the text simply reads.

since getting each others’ numbers, the flirting between the two of you had become both more natural and frequent. you guys text all day everyday about anything and everything, and intak can confidently admit he is very happy you haven’t booked with another massage therapist that isn’t him.

needless to say, you’ve become a regular of his and you’d be lying if you said you were booking massages for the sole reason of getting a massage. it had become your routine to see him at this point.

as usual, you book your next appointment at the end of the previous one. and usually, you reserve these appointment days just to see intak. you’d been seeing him for 2 months now so you already knew which days you’d be seeing him, but you forgot to check in advanced and only now (2 days before your scheduled appointment) realized you had other plans that day already.

shit, now you have to reschedule with intak.

5:42pm you: hey intak

5:42pm you: remember when you said i could ask you for emergency visits?

5:47pm intak: hi pretty, yeah why?

5:49pm you: i didn’t realize i was already busy at the same time as my next appointment is scheduled…

5:49pm you: can i redeem an emergency visit for today instead? it’s okay if not

you only half-expected intak to drop everything to see you, but what you didn’t expect was for your fifth appointment to be held after hours at the massage spa.

intak would be lying if said he wasn’t giggling and kicking his feet at the idea of just the two of you alone in such an intimate session. was he risking his career for this? possibly. could he find a way to cover this up to his coworkers and supervisor? that was an issue for later.

right now, as he unlocked the front door with you standing behind him, his heart was pounding. he really couldn’t believe he was doing this just for you, but he was curious as to what was going to happen now after the incident.

“if you want, you can just sit here while i get the room prepped,” intak smiles at you, pointing to the massage table. you sit down, still clothed, legs hanging off the side as you watch intak prepare everything that would be needed for the next 90 minutes. you were curious since you never got to see the behind-the-scenes before your usual appointments.

intak leaves and lets you change and get comfortable, shouting for him once you’re ready like he instructed since it was just the two of you.

the massage starts like normal, everything being the exact same as every other time you’re laying on this very table. but there’s something else in the air that’s distracting you.

something about the two of you being alone in such an intimate environment, really getting to feel his hands make their way across your skin, especially after all the flirting and tension that has been growing between the two of you, has you hot and bothered.

even thinking about how flustered he got when you were moaning out to tease him just a week ago has your thighs pressing together to give you some relief.

intak notices right away. “just relax and keep breathing for me, pretty,” he mumbles. he’s working on the backs of your thighs, fingers dancing so close to where you want him. he’s gently pulling your legs apart to knead into the supple skin, but you let out a whimper at his actions.

“are you okay?” he asks, slightly breathless. you hope he’s thinking the same thing as you before you inhale and exhale deeply.

“intak… can you please touch me?” you ask just loud enough for him to hear, your breath catching in your throat.

“i… i’m massaging you, y/n. what do you mean touch you?” his fingers stop in their tracks and his ears perk up because of how nicely you asked, catching him off guard.

you use your arms to push your upper body off of the table, moving your hair to one side as you look back at him, one of your arms coming across your chest to cover yourself slightly.

intak’s big puppy eyes don’t leave yours as soon as your eyes lock with his.

“please… i need you here,” you say, wiggling your butt with his hands still placed on your skin there.

intak all but gasps, blood rushing straight down after hearing how desperate you sound. his fingers trail up cautiously while he feels your eyes still on him. he swipes a finger across your slit which is now dripping with arousal.

“shit,” he mutters. “do you get this wet every time i give you a massage?” he asks gingerly, his eyes nearly burning a hole through the towel that’s covering your butt.

“intak…” you whine. “can you just take the towel off my ass please?” you ask desperately, your upper body dropping back onto the massage table after losing strength at the slightest feeling of his fingers.

intak swallows thickly, getting rid of the dry feeling he was getting from gawking at you with his mouth open, and obliges.

“are you sure you want this? here? now?” he’s asking. you lift your head to look at him again. his cheeks are a deep shade of red.

“intak i swear to god,” you huff. you had to admit the consent was hot. he literally had you at the palm of his hand and he was still asking if you were okay. “yes. yes i want this, please just-” you’re cut off by your own gasp as he pulls the towel off, his fingers come back to your slit, sliding down to your clit once. you let out a sigh at the relief his digits are providing you.

“so fucking wet,” intak whispers and you almost miss it. you hear the cap to the massage oil pop open before you feel a warm liquid being poured onto your ass and it sends butterflies to your stomach. he uses both hands to massage and spread your cheeks with the oil and you do nothing to stop the noises that are escaping your lips.

as one hand continues gripping and groping your ass, his other fingers are back on your pussy and he groans at the sight of you, oiled up and sprawled out for him. he presses a single digit to your hole which flutters at the contact before pulling away, making you whine.

“what’s wrong, pretty?” he asks, feigning concern as he starts drawing slow circles on your clit. you feel his weight on the table as he sits on it by your leg. you wiggle back at him, not trusting your voice right now.

“intaaak,” you whine out, getting frustrated that he was still talking to you like you weren’t at his complete mercy.

“go on, you’ve got it,” he encourages, biting back a smile. “tell me what you want…”

“please,” you breathe out. he barely moves. once you realize that wasn’t enough you continue. “please… i want- i need your fingers,” you barely manage to squeak out the words.

fortunately for you, this was enough for intak. he pours more oil over your cunt, not that you needed it, but there was something about seeing your pussy glistening between his fingers that had his head reeling. he pushes your legs further apart and uses both hands to slowly spread your folds apart, almost like it’s part of the massage routine.

you’re doing nothing to bite back your moans, but you don’t miss his soft grunts in response just from seeing you and hearing your noises for him.

“you’re so cute when you beg for me, pretty,” intak mumbles. his sinfully sweet words paired with one of his soft fingers sinking into your impossibly slick cunt has you breathless. he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as he watches you suck his finger back in each time he thrusts out, feeling your walls fluttering around his digit.

“letting me take care of you like this…” intak revels in the sight of you laying on the table all sprawled out for him. he adds another finger, eyebrows furrowing at how tight you are. “shit, baby you’re so tight,” intak grits.

you feel his other hand leave your ass, snaking its way around to your clit. he’s now massaging your pussy with both of his hands and the stimulation has you going lightheaded. you so badly wish you could see his face, but you’re stuck on your stomach, staring at the ground.

the longer his fingers are between your legs, toying with your most sensitive parts, the tighter the knot in your stomach gets. intak can feel the way you’re clenching around his fingers. he can hear your staggered breaths. he sees the way your thighs start to shake.

“you’re gonna cum aren’t you, pretty?” he asks in the sweetest voice. his fingers quicken their pace both inside of you and on your clit, and you feel the band about to snap.

“yes! yes, f-fuck… intak please,” you manage to get out between moans.

“you’re so sweet, pretty... i don’t even have to ask you to beg… you just do it anyway…” intak is in awe. how was he so lucky to be experiencing this right now? “go on, cum for me.”

hot white flashes behind your eyes as you cum, your walls constricting his fingers like they don’t want them to leave. and he doesn’t.

intak doesn’t stop stroking your gummy walls, nor does he stop circling your clit with the smooth tips of his fingers. he’s pumping his digits even faster and deeper in you than before, determined to make you cum again.

“intak!” you gasp, body writhing at the overwhelming sensations. but intak doesn’t hear you. his eyes are laser focused on your cunt, not stopping his movements. “intak, it’s… it’s too much, please!”

“oh, pretty,” he coos. “i’m sure you can take another one, can’t you?” he asks gently. the contrast between the sweet tone of his voice and the harsh movement of his fingers has your eyes rolling back. you feel another band tightening deep in your stomach this time and it makes you squeal.

he coaxes another orgasm out of you, and truth be told he could do this forever. between the cute noises leaving you and the way your pussy grips onto his fingers, he can’t get enough of you. your body squirms under his touch and you’re met with post-orgasm shudders.

intak finally lets up, pulling his fingers out of you slowly. he watches your hole clench around nothing, streaks of oil and cum smeared on your inner thighs.

you pull yourself up again on your elbows as best as you can, head turning to look at intak who’s already looking at you with a shit-eating grin on his face. he’s holding up his fingers which are covered in your slick for you to see. you wince at him before he’s putting his fingers in his mouth, tongue cleaning them up with a groan.

“oh… now i really need to taste you,” intak sighs out, moving toward you.

“what happened to hello, how are you?” you ask in disbelief. a smile makes its way to your lips as you notice him pouting at you, his sweet puppy eyes on full display.

“hello, how are you, pretty?” he asks, smiling at you now. he kneels down next to you. “i know this is really backwards but… can i take you out for dinner?” he asks shyly. you pretend to think about it, his eyes not leaving your face as he waits for your answer.

“hmm…” you start, noticing his lips moving into a pout again. “i would love to go out with you, intak.” you both are smiling like idiots, coming to realize what really just happened at his workplace of all places.

“i can’t believe we just did that,” intak laughs.

“yeah but were you gonna make the first move if i didn’t?” you raise an eyebrow at him.

“oh shut up,” he replies, his cheeks turning pink.

[just-jordie-things]

MOREE headcannons for choso i really do love your other headcannons! heh

hell yes i love how open this is i'm gonna give ya such a random smattering of choso headcanons <3 tagging @delzinrowe bc it's choso and we talk abt him a lot so some of the credit for this has to go to her <3 ___

choso is a bit of a menace at the grocery store, but he doesn't mean to be. he's intrigued by all the packaging of different snacks and drinks- sometimes just regular products too like tissue boxes or toilet paper rolls. it often takes a couple hours to get the shopping done with him in tow. he's drawn in like a child to a candy bar!! if something is packaged in bright colors, expect to have to tell him what the product is, because he's gonna be interested in it.

i think he'd hate carbonated drinks. i think the bubbles would be a shock to his system ((did he even drink water before he met you??)) but i think he'd LOVE flavored milk. chocolate and strawberry. picturing choso casually having a lil carton of milk in his hand makes me soft. he'd go to yuji as soon as you introduce him to the wonderful beverage to see if his brother had ever tried such a delicious treat.

choso's always touching you. he doesn't know what pda is, but he's very into it... in an oblivious way. if he's not holding your hand, then his arm is around you. if you're sitting together he prefers to have you on his lap, but tucked into his side and under his arm is the next best thing. and he'll kiss you, anywhere, anytime. standing in line at the bank? the sunlight caught your eyes just right and he was just overwhelmed with the urge to cup your face and kiss you so longingly one could assume you were lovers reunited after years apart... but no, you've just been in this line together for fifteen minutes. you could tell him there's a time and place for such acts of passion but... whew you gotta catch your breath first, don't you??

he's always catching lil critters to show you. he noticed you liked to point out when there's a squirrel crossing the street, or a lady bug on the windowsill, so he notes that little creatures are some of your favorites. now on walks he keeps an eye out for any critter to present you with. he's caught all sorts of things with ease and surprising gentleness- despite being a massive hunk of muscle. he's managed to catch (and later release, of course) rabbits, squirrels, chipmunks, toads, a couple of turtles, possums, even street rats. as well as bugs- just about any bug he sees. some are more exciting than others, the dragonflies, the ladybugs, rollie pollies, caterpillars, snails.... you could probably do without the roaches and big spiders, but you try not to show your squeamish side as you thank him for showing you and politely ask him to put it back on the ground <3

choso pouts if you don't shower with him. bc why wouldn't you? he got the water to the temperature you like... what, is he supposed to shampoo his own hair?? are you mad at him??

choso is quickly becoming a favorite of mine i'm sorry gojo but i have to cope somehow

[lvnleah]

007. | Christmas

word count: 2.2k

find the masterlist here!

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December 24th 2023 | 25 weeks & 3 days pregnant.

Ever since you were little, you’d always dreaded Christmas time. You could remember vividly how you’d felt as a child.

All of your friends came into school after the holidays, talking about everything they got whilst you had to lie about what you had received.

If you were lucky, you and your brother got to go see your grandma who’d spoil you rotten but that was rare. Your brother tried to make it enjoyable for you despite being only five years older.

When you met Leah at sixteen, you soon became a part of her family's Christmas celebrations. It had started one year when Amanda and Berny, Leah’s grandma, had found out you were spending Christmas alone and invited you to join their celebrations.

Every year since then you had joined Leah’s family on Christmas Eve and day at her childhood home. The first year felt overwhelming for a sixteen-year-old.

You were overwhelmed with how much love everyone had shown you and all of the presents they’d gotten you. Everyone had gone out of their way to ask Leah what you liked and bought exactly what you liked, not just some random stuff like your parents did.

The first Christmas you’d spent with Leah as a couple wasn’t any different except for the fact that you’d done ‘couple’ things that year and had done ever since. You’d always shared her childhood bedroom but that year you’d shared her bed and went on many Christmas-themed dates.

This year though, felt extra special because it was the last Christmas you and Leah were spending together as just you two before you welcomed your baby boy. Leah had driven you down with all of your suitcases to her mum's house a couple of days ago and it was now Christmas Eve.

“You okay, pretty girl?” Leah asked you, placing a kiss on your shoulder as you woke up from your nap.

You placed your hand on hers that was draped over your bump as you nodded your head, “Yeah, that nap was amazing! What time is it?”

“Six o’clock, everyone’s getting ready for the Christmas Eve walk in the woods.” Leah said, stroking circles on your bump, “Jordan wants to be back before Henry’s bedtime because he’s fussy so they’re going early. I told Mum I’d see how you are.”

“Leah I’m not missing the walk,” you told her as you sat up, “We never miss the walk so get out of this bed!”

“Alright, bossy!” Leah chuckled.

Leah’s family had a lot of different traditions and one was a Christmas Eve walk every year. The walk was one of your favourite traditions, a quiet and peaceful time before the whirlwind of Christmas Day.

You slowly got out of bed, feeling the weight of your bump as you moved. Leah slipped out the other side before walking around and helping you, her hand steadying you as you found your footing.

As you got ready, you thought about how this tradition would look next year with a baby in tow. The thought brought a smile to your face, even as you struggled to pull on your boots.

Leah noticed and knelt to help you. "I can't wait for our little man to join us next year," she said. You nodded, a wave of emotion washing over you as you imagined the future.

Bundled up and ready to go, you joined Leah’s family downstairs. Amanda was adjusting Henry’s hat, while everyone put on their boots.

“Ready to go, lovebirds?” Jacob called out as you and Leah entered the room.

“Ready!” you both chimed in unison.

The walk through the woods was magical, your breath mingled in the cold air. Leah held your hand the entire time, sometimes switching to her arm protectively around your waist.

As you walked, Jacob carried Henry on his shoulders, the toddler giggling as Jacob bounced him up and down. The rest of the family chatted and laughed, the atmosphere warm.

Leah’s family were all truly big kids, something you loved a lot. Halfway through the walk, you stopped at the giant chair to take the annual Christmas Eve photo. Leah climbed to the top with Jacob and her cousins while you stayed put at the bottom with Jordan and Amanda. Her family gathered around, and a passerby stopped to take the photo for you all.

As you walked back to the house, the group gradually broke into smaller clusters, chatting and laughing. Leah and her brother, Jacob, fell behind, clearly up to something. You and Amanda exchanged knowing looks, sensing their playful mischief.

Leah nudged Jacob and whispered something and before you knew it the pair of them were racing ahead with the dogs. They ended up racing while you walked with Amanda.

“How’s the pregnancy, y/n?” Jordan, Leah’s cousin, asked you as you held Henry’s hand.

You smiled, “It’s getting better, starting to enjoy it a bit more now the morning sickness has settled down. I know I’ve still got a while to go but I just want him here now, the emotions are crazy.”

“It’s definitely a whirlwind,” Amanda agreed, “Let’s just hope he’s not as stubborn as Leah and doesn’t go overdue!”

“Knowing him, he’ll probably just be as stubborn and picky as his Mumma,” you laughed.

“Stubborn?!” You heard Leah gasp jokingly, “I’m not stubborn or picky thank you very much!”

You rolled your eyes jokingly, “Yeah definitely not! Totally not like you only eat plain and beige stuff.”

Jacob, overhearing, grinned and threw his arm around Leah. “It’s alright, sis. There’s nothing to be ashamed about, let’s admit it, I'm the better sibling!”

“You wish,” Leah teased, nudging Jacob with her elbow.

“Keep dreaming,” Jacob shot back, ruffling her hair.

Their playful rivalry bubbled up throughout the rest of the walk, they chased each other back and forth whilst you walked alongside Amanda and Jordan. Leah ended up carrying Henry on her hip in the end, making you smile at the perfect sight in front of you.

When you arrived back home, Amanda gave everyone one hot chocolate and tea to warm themselves up. As you snuggled close to Leah on the couch, you felt like you finally belonged somewhere. These moments, filled with love and laughter, were what made the holiday season better for you now.

Leah’s family traditions had become your own, and with your baby on the way, you couldn’t wait to share these experiences with him. As the night grew late, Leah’s family slowly all made their rooms, leaving you and Leah alone by the glowing downstairs. She wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close.

“Thank you for making Christmas so special,” you whispered, Leah’s hand resting on your bump like usual.

“No need to thank me, pretty girl,” Leah replied, resting her head on your shoulder. “I love you and so does my family, they’re yours now too.”

“Don’t make me cry again!” You warned.

Leah chuckled softly, her breath warm against your neck. “No promises.”

The loneliness and sadness that had once defined the season for you were now distant memories, replaced by the joy and love Leah and her family had brought into your life.

“We should probably head to bed,” Leah murmured, her voice soft and gentle. “Tomorrow’s going to be a busy day.”

You nodded, “Yeah, we should.”

Leah helped you up, her hands steady and supportive as always. The two of you made your way upstairs, the house was quiet except for the soft creaks of the floorboards under your feet.

As you settled into bed, Leah wrapped her arms around you, her hand naturally finding its place on your bump. You snuggled into her embrace, feeling safe and content.

“Goodnight, pretty girl,” Leah whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple.

“Goodnight, Le,” you yawned as she switched off the light.

As the morning sun filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow over the room, you stirred awake, feeling the gentle rise and fall of Leah's breath beside you. Today was Christmas, and it was the last one you'd share as just Leah and y/n and not Mumma and Mummy.

“Good morning, pretty girl,” Leah whispered as she noticed you waking up, her voice soft and filled with affection.

“Good morning,” you replied, turning to face her, a smile spreading across your face. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” Leah echoed, leaning in to give you a tender kiss.

The two of you took your time getting out of bed, savouring the peaceful morning together. As you made your way downstairs, the sound of laughter and chatter hit your ears.

“Morning, sleepyheads!” Amanda called out cheerfully from the living room. “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas!” Leah smiled, joining Jacob who was sitting on the floor whilst you sat beside Amanda.

The living room was a scene straight out of a holiday movie. stockings were hung by the fireplace, the tree twinkled with lights and ornaments, and a mountain of presents waiting to be opened.

As everyone settled down to open presents, the room buzzed with conversation and laughter. You went round and opened a present one by one before it reached you and Leah handed you a beautifully wrapped box with a mischievous grin.

“This one’s from me,” she said, her smile filled with excitement.

You carefully unwrapped the gift, revealing a handmade scrapbook filled with photos and memories from your relationship. Each page was crafted, capturing moments from your relationship and milestones in your pregnancy that you didn’t know Leah had taken.

“Le, this is beautiful,” you said, tears welling up in your eyes as you flipped through the pages. “Thank you so much.”

“I’m glad you like it,” Leah said, leaning up and placing a soft kiss on your lips. “I wanted to give you something special, something to remind you of how much I love you.”

You flicked through the scrapbook. It started on your first date, the day Leah asked you to be her girlfriend, then your engagement and then your wedding before it finally got to your pregnancy.

It was filled with Polaroids from the start of your pregnancy. It started with the tests lined up before it moved on to a Polaroid of your very first ultrasound and then small moments that Leah had secretly captured, the last few pages were left blank so you could continue them together.

Henry toddled over, holding up a gift he had just opened. “Look! I got cow!” he exclaimed, his eyes wide with excitement.

“Wow, that’s awesome, Henry!” you smiled as he sat in your lap. “What noise does a cow make?”

He paused for a second before making the noise, “Cow goes moooo!”

“Yeah! Well done, Hen!” You clapped your hands, “A cow does go moooo!”

As the morning went on, you and Leah exchanged more gifts, each one thoughtful and personal. The room was filled with the joy of giving and receiving and the love that bound you all together. Jacob handed Leah a small box, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

“This one’s from me,” he said. “Thought you could use it.”

Leah opened the box to find a tiny Spurs shirt, “Really, Jacob?” Leah said, shaking her head but unable to hide her smile. “You just wait until he’s here, he’s going to be decked out in an Arsenal kit!”

He shook his head, “Not if I have anything to do with it!”

You had been saving your special gift for Leah, waiting for the right moment. As the family settled down in the living room, you quietly retrieved the small box from your bag and handed it to Leah.

“This one is from me,” you said, your voice soft with anticipation.

Leah looked at you curiously before opening the box. Inside was a delicate silver necklace with a small pendant in the shape of a heart. The pendant opened to reveal a tiny picture of you and Leah on one side and a sonogram image of your baby boy on the other.

“Y/N, this is beautiful,” Leah said, tears springing to her eyes. “I love it so much.”

“I wanted you to have something that you can wear when you’re not with us,” you said, your voice choked with emotion. “You mean the world to me, and you can replace it with a picture of Bubba Boy when he’s here.”

Leah leaned in and kissed you, her lips gentle and full of love. “Thank you, pretty girl. This is the best gift I could ever ask for.”

Later, as the day turned to evening the family gathered for Christmas dinner. You enjoyed the amazing Christmas dinner that Leah’s grandma and Amanda had put together before everyone had a little sing-song.

At the end of the evening, you and Leah slipped where the only ones left in the living room. You had a blanket draped over you both as you cuddled.

“Let me get a photo of you and the bump in front of the tree, pretty girl,” Leah smiled, reaching across for her Polaroid camera.

You smiled and stood up before sitting down in front of the tree, you rested your hand on your bump and Leah snapped a photo.

You sat down beside her on the couch again, “We could recreate that next year.” Leah smiled.

“We could. This has been the best Christmas,” you said quietly to Leah as you sat together, her hand resting on your bump.

“It’s only going to get better,” Leah replied. “Next year, we’ll have our little boy with us.”

You nodded, feeling the weight of her words. As the night drew to a close, you and Leah made your way upstairs, the house quiet and peaceful. You slipped into bed, feeling Leah’s arms wrap around you once more.

“Goodnight, pretty girl,” Leah whispered, placing a kiss on your temple.

“Goodnight, Le,” you replied, as you drifted off to sleep.

[storiesfromafan]

Traitor

A/N: its been a little while. Back with some more angst haha. This will be a 2 part, maybe even a 3 part 🙂

Pairing: Mattheo x Fem! Raventclaw Reader

Warnings: angst

Ooh-ooh-ooh

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah

It’s funny how you can go from happily in a relationship one minute and then sour, almost bitter from the ending of it, the next. That is what happened to you. Blissfully happy with Mattheo Riddle during your fifth year. You had spent your Easter holidays at home, accompanying your father to a Ministry party. You had been at your father’s side to start before finding yourself sitting alone. Sometime later your father had returned to you with two  familiar Slytherin boys in tow, Draco Malfoy and Mattheo Riddle. Your father had business with Lucius Malfoy and had said you and the two males could keep each other company. It was a start to a budding friendship for the three of you. By the time you returned to Hogwarts you and Mattheo had a flirtatious thing going on. Soon it led to dating and by the end of May you were his girlfriend.

The rest of the year was learning about each other and learning how to function in a relationship. For the most of it, it was good. But slowly you started to see how possessive Mattheo could get, or his jealous tendencies. Though you learned it was due to his home life and up bringing. You talked it out with him as best you could, as he gave vague answers to your questions. You were satisfied with what you learnt. What would be red flags, were more pink after your talk. You didn’t push him more then needed, you didn’t want to cause him to shut off from you or end your relationship. So, fifth year ended with your relationship being solid, and happy.

After a decent summer holiday, the 1st of September returned and off to Hogwarts came around marking your sixth year. You returned with Mattheo at your side, hands locked together. Your relationship strong and seeming to only get stronger. Unfortunately, you didn’t foresee you’d make it to the New Year before Mattheo broke up with you. You asked him all the typically questions to why he was breaking up with you, and you got a typical answer from the brunet with the deepest brown eyes.

Brown guilty eyes and little white lies

Yeah, I played dumb but I always knew

That you'd talk to her, maybe did even worse

I kept quiet so I could keep you

You recall the 2nd of January; you were enjoying the afternoon sun in the courtyard when Mattheo approached you. You were all smiles when seeing him, greeting him before starting to talk about your upcoming classes in a few days. It wasn’t long before he cut you off, his tone harsh and a tad formal. It was unlike him to be like that. For the Mattheo you knew was considerate, patient and an attentive listener. This Mattheo was someone you didn’t know. Looking at him in confusion he took that as his cue to speak.

“Y/N, I have been thinking during Christmas break” he started looking down at his feet. “I have found the last almost seven months to have been a wonderful time together” he looked up at you with those deep brown eyes of his, they shone with guilt.

You felt a sudden cold sensation wash over you. “Theo, you’re…you’re not saying what I think your saying” you said shakily, scared eyes looking back at him.

He nodded his head once, “yes, it is Y/N��.

You felt sick with every word he said. You hadn’t even known there was a problem with your relationship. You thought you were both happy, and in love. But here he was, breaking up with you. And the first thing you thought of was her. The Slytherin girl named Anna Frost, blonde long locks, green eyes and petite form. Mattheo had over the last three months became close to the girl, his friend as he called her. But you always thought there was something there. Before telling yourself, you were just being silly, a little jealous.

“We have had so many amazing times together” a small sad smile forming on his lips before he went back to a blank expression. “But we’ve run our course Y/N/N. I hope we can still be friends”.

Friends. That was a slap to the face, adding salt to an exposed wound. How could he say that to you? It was like the Mattheo you knew was dead, and the person before you were an imposter. Or was this who he really was? Had he played you the whole time? No, he hadn’t. You had shared so many personal and private things together.

“I-I don’t understand” you sputtered, trying to wrap your head around it.

He sighed. “I had wanted to be as nice as possible about this” his tone cold. “Us, we are over. We are done”. And without waiting for your reply, Mattheo walked off. Leaving you alone, cold, mind reeling and uncomfortable with the eyes currently on you.

So, you gathered your belongings before rushing back to your Ravenclaw dorm room. Where you finally cried as it sunk in. Mattheo dumped you. Your whimsical romance was over. Your heart ripped out and stomped on by the Slytherin Devil himself.

And ain't it funny

How you ran to her

The second that we called it quits?

And ain't it funny

How you said you were friends?

Now it sure as hell don't look like it

Gossip in the few days after your breakup told you that as soon as Mattheo broke up with you, he was running off to his blonde Slytherin friend. They were seen hanging out together, along with Draco, Pansy Parkinson, Theodore Nott and Lorenzo Berkshire. All chatting and laughing away, like only ten minutes before, when he broke up with you, didn’t happen. He acted like nothing transpired, you hadn’t existed, or he’d been in a relationship with you. It hurt to hear that. The girls in your Ravenclaw dorm were there for you and told you before you heard it from anyone else.

But as your mind started to think everything over, you thought it funny how he ran off after breaking up with you to her. Now it sure as hell didn’t look like friends with them. Who goes from the girl they broke up with, to their female friend and act like their ex didn’t exist? The times you had thought you were being silly, and jealous, over the Slytherin girl were now not a laughing matter. His actions spoke loud and clear.

You betrayed me

And I know that you'll never feel sorry

For the way I hurt, yeah

You'd talk to her

When we were together

Loved you at your worst

But that didn't matter

It took you two weeks

To go off and date her

Guess you didn't cheat

But you're still a traitor

Betrayal. The best word to describe what Mattheo had done to you. You had been there for him, for the good times and the bad. But also, the worst moments, which usually involved his home life. He would get letters, which he never showed you and you respected his privacy, but they would leave him almost a shell of himself. So, you would be the one to drag him somewhere you both could be alone. You’d hold him and tell him all the great things about him. Slowly building him back up till he was almost himself again. He had been so grateful for those moments. And the way he’d repay you was giving you all his attention when he could or taking you to Hogsmeade and making those dates so special. Mattheo treated you like a Princess for all the kindness you gave him.

Finally processing what had happened, you were left feeling sour, bitter from how it ended. And those feelings only got worse as after two weeks Mattheo and Anna started dating. It was the hot gossip Monday morning, as they walked into the Great Hall together holding hands. That had been how you both had entered the hall every mealtime, before parting ways to sit at respected tables, though your eyes were always watching the other. Mattheo and Anna sat side by side at the Slytherin table, that was on display to you. As you unconsciously sat where you had always sat. You looked away from them as you picked at your food, occasionally eating. But every now and then you would look to them. Anna fussed over Mattheo and laughed at whatever was said. Or there was the time you looked, and they were talking with Draco and Pansy, he smiled softly at their conversation while Anna held onto Mattheo’s arm.

Now you bring her around

Just to shut me down

Show her off like she's a new trophy

And I know if you were true

There's no damn way that you

Could fall in love with somebody that quickly

With every encounter you had with the two; either shared classes, mealtimes, hallways, etc. Your mixed emotions grew. Seeing them together was a constant slap in the face. Such as Potions class. They were partners, Anna always making goo-goo eyes at Mattheo and doing anything to get close to him. It made you sick, you wanted to throw up. Thankfully your Potions partner and fellow Ravenclaw, Hugo Andrews, could see how it was effecting you. He was sweet, doing everything to distract you, getting you to focus on the potion Snape had you brewing.

But every now and then you would hear Anna’s stupid laugh. And you would wince, another hit to your crumbling resolve. When you would sneak a look, you would see Mattheo close to her, playing around and looking happy, almost in love. That was it. You turned away, focused on the potion and told yourself it was done.

Ain't it funny

All the twisted games

All the questions you used to avoid?

Ain't it funny?

Remember I brought her up

And you told me I was paranoid

Over time, as much as you pushed Mattheo from your mind, everything would resurface. Even more so when people would talk to you, either fishing for gossip or genuinely confused to what happened. And at random times you would go over everything in your head, trying to work out what happened.

But then one night, while laying awake in bed, you once again began to mull it all over. It was funny that over the three months of his new friendship you started out with subtle questions, before them getting more blunt. He would either tip toe around them, give short vague answers, or plain out tell you that you were over thinking it all. Yet part of you knew something hadn’t been right. And them getting together confirmed that.

You betrayed me

And I know that you'll never feel sorry

For the way I hurt, yeah

You'd talk to her

When we were together

Loved you at your worst

But that didn't matter

It took you two weeks

To go off and date her

Guess you didn't cheat

But you're still a traitor

God, I wish that you had thought this through

Before I went and fell in love with you

(Ah-ah-ah)

Saturday afternoon was a lazy one. You had taken to going for a walk, to clear your head and escape from the castle of gossip and your ex. The fresh air was nice, it was still cold but it was mid February. Which meant winter was almost over, and spring (your favourite season) was coming. Looking around the grounds, which still had some white covering it, green patches here and there. You couldn’t wait for the grass to be a vibrant green, and wild flowers to cover patches of the land.

You could already picture laying in the wild flowers, warm sun beaming down on you. You’d pick dandelions and blow the white sprouts from the stem, watching the wind carry off the seeds. But then you remembered how you would do that with Mattheo. How you would lounge together in the flowers, soaking up the sun. You would talk about school or random things while watching the sky. The sweet moments you both shared sent your heart aching.

The peace and quiet didn’t last, as you heard the faint crunch of snow under feet. Upon turning around you found the person you were just thinking about. You felt a rush of anger, how dare he walk where you usually went. How dare he have done many things to you, or to hurt you. Glaring at the approaching figure, you wanted him to know he was unwelcome. Hoping he would see your state, turn around & scurry off back to the dungeons of the castle, never to be seen again. But nope, you were wrong.

Mattheo had seen you leave the castle, he had watched you leave the front doors of the school, walk around the side of the building, past the turn off for the Quidditch area and down the familiar path you’d both taken. He knew you wanted to be alone, but he had to talk to you. Yes, he wasn’t stupid, he’d seen your reaction to everything that had been going on since your break up. He had even heard the gossip students were saying, majority of it being all lies. Part of him felt bad, responsible for your state.

The glare on your face told him he wasn’t welcome, but he wouldn’t back down. Sporting a blank face, Mattheo stared at you. “Y/N” he said with a nod of his head. “How are you?”

That was it. Hearing those words pass Mattheo Riddles lips opened up the floodgate of your emotions and thoughts. He would regret those words after you’re done with him. Your nostrils flared as you took in a sharp breath.

“You want to know how I am?” You asked a little too calmly, to which he nodded his head. “Well I don’t know. Maybe I am upset, maybe I am angry. Maybe I am confused. Or maybe I am all that and more Riddle” you spat out his surname.

Mattheo’s eyes widened. He hadn’t thought you would be like this. He thought you would say you were sad and angry, you’d both talk it out and you’d both move on. He didn’t expect you would be furious, possibly wanting his blood. As the saying goes: Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned.

When she's sleeping in the bed we made

Don't you dare forget about the way

“Do you expect me to be fine? Happy for your new relationship?” You asked, spitting out the word relationship. “Do you expect me to act like the time we were together meant nothing? Like it never happened? I can’t, because it meant something to me...”

Mattheo moved from foot to foot, his calm and uncaring image starting to slip. “Y/N, I’m sorry you feel like this” he started, and you scoffed rolling your eyes. “I genuinely didn’t know you were taking it this hard-“

“Seriously!? Everyone with functioning eyes can see how I have been” you cut him off. “Oh I’m sorry, I forgot if it doesn’t involve you, it wasn’t important”.

His eyes darker and focused on you. “No, that is not true”.

“Huh, it is. Its always about you. After all you got to know your knew girlfriend before ending it with me, and jumped into a relationship with her not long after we ended. Hence why it’s all about you, or else you’d have considered me and my feelings before doing what you did”.

Mattheo was silent for a moment, trying to keep calm. “I did think about you...I ended it because we ran our course. I didn’t want to string you along”.

You laughed bitterly. “Sure, tell yourself what you have to Riddle. You betrayed me. 'Cause I know that you'll never feel sorry, for the way I hurt, yeah?” it was a rhetorical question. “You'd talk to her, when we were together. You gave me your word, but that didn't matter”.

“That’s not fair” Mattheo argued, but you weren’t having it.

“It took you two weeks, to go off and date her. Guess you didn't cheat. But you're still... you're still a traitor” you said it all in a rush, letting everything you’d been holding back out. “Yeah, you're still a traitor!”

Getting the words and feelings out released a weight you’d been carrying around. He needed to see how hurt you were, how furious you were, how frantic you were. Mattheo needed to know he had broken you, but now you were going to build yourself back up. You were done with him, done with how you felt.

Mattheo stood there like a deer in headlights. He hadn’t expected you to say what you said, or really unload all you had. Nor did he blame you. He deserved what he got. He figured you would be hurt but not to this extent. Mattheo Riddle had hurt you deeply, and now you were done with him for good. And he didn’t like that. If only he hadn’t had to do what he did. If only it could have been different.

Ooh-ooh-ooh

Seeing as he wasn’t going to say anything you decided it was time to leave. Turning from the boy before you, you didn’t bother to look at him. Or else you’d have seen the hurt in his eyes, along with unshed tears. Or how his shoulders slumped, or how weak he was right then.

After taking a few steps you stopped, but not looking back you said; “God, I wish that you had thought this through...before I went and fell in love with you”.

With those final words, the final goodbye, you left Mattheo alone. He watched your retreating form, with each step his heart cracking. And then when you were gone from sight, his heart shattered. For he had not wanted to break up with you, he didn’t want to jump into a relationship with Anna, he didn’t want to hurt you, and he didn’t want you to walk away from him for good.

“I wish I didn’t have to do this to you Y/N/N...” Mattheo said softly to the silence around him. “But if I didn’t, he would have hurt you. And I couldn’t do that, I couldn’t let you get hurt”. The tears in his eyes slowly fell. “It hurts to have you hate me...but if it saves you from my father, I will carry this pain...”

A/N: hope you enjoyed. & part 2 will be up soon 🙂

[ohmyamor]

Richkid!Jongho

a:/n definitely not inspired by the long expensive coats the stylists put Jongho in...

today is not your day 

first, you woke up incredibly late due to your alarm failing to go off 

then, there was no breakfast in your house, your parents’ note on the fridge saying that they were planning a grocery run this weekend 

it’s tuesday 

meaning you had to leave for school on an empty stomach

which would’ve been fine had you not skipped dinner last night for the sake of finishing your project 

which, might you add, was a group project that none of your group mates participated in

fucking rich kids

long story short, you ended up arriving at school on an empty stomach, leading you to be very, very hangry 

at least until your break, where you grabbed something from the vending machines 

then, when it came time to present the group project, none of your group mates provided anything of substance to the presentation 

they literally just stood there like morons while you presented everything 

you stayed after class to talk to the teacher about possibly getting more credit for doing, you know, all the work

only for him to cut you off, saying that if you had problems, it should’ve either been brought up at the beginning of the assignment 

or you could’ve talked to them yourself 

 but you know the only reason the teacher won’t lower the students grades is because of the hefty donation their parents make to the school every year 

the perks of attending a school full of rich kids

except your family isn’t rich

they’re not poor either, your parents income settling nicely somewhere in the middle 

which you should be grateful for 

because it means that, for the most part, the rich students leave you alone

yeah you’re attending the school on a scholarship, but besides a few snide remarks here and there, you get left alone for the most part

but going back to your horrible day

the icing on the cake has to be right now, at this current moment 

school was let out around 3, but you stayed after for a little bit to help tutor an underclassman who was struggling in a literature class you had already taken 

it was pretty easy to tutor the kid, he seemed like he was really trying to do better, which always made your life much easier 

but still, you can’t deny the relief you felt once the tutoring hour came to an end and you were allowed to leave

opening your car door, you haphazardly tossed your backpack into the passenger seat and buckled yourself in

you place the key in the ignition, turning it and waiting for the rumble of the engine to start up

except it never came 

staring at your steering wheel, you attempt once, twice, three more times to turn the key, praying to whatever gods that were laughing at you to please just let your car start so you could get home

it seems no one answered your prayers 

letting out a loud swear, you throw open your car door and step out before slamming the door behind you. 

you pull out your phone to try and call your parents, but before you can even pull up your contacts, your phone’s screen turns black

it died 

you think incredulously 

letting out a small laugh of disbelief you toss your phone onto the hood of your car

rubbing your face over your hands, you begin to think of a plan 

I think I still have some cash, I might be able to catch the bus home 

I just have to ask the security guards to not tow my car, or else I’ll have to go and pay to get it back with money I certainly don’t have right now-

“Hey” 

you startle, looking to your side

where a sleek, black car has now pulled up next to you

the passenger side window is rolled down, and through it, you see a familiar face

Choi Jongho 

son of the people who literally own the school

You close your eyes

my day cannot get any fucking worse you think

not that you hate Jongho or anything

he’s actually quite nice

a little out of touch with reality sometimes, but pleasant enough

in the beginning of the semester, the two of you were paired up for a short project 

while you initially dreaded it, as every other kid you had ever been paired up with sat back and let you do all the work

you were pleasantly surprised when Jongho insisted on splitting the work evenly with you

he even went as far dropping off assignments you missed when you had unexpectedly fallen sick 

of course, once the project was finished, the two of you went your separate ways 

save for the small nod of acknowledgement the two of you shared when you passed each other in the halls

you guys didn’t talk to each other 

that doesn’t mean you didn’t notice how good he always looked though

with his long coats and perfectly done hair 

and on occasion, the thick round glasses that nicely framed his face-

“(Y/n)?”

Blinking harshly, you’re shaken out of your thoughts when Jongho calls your name 

He quirks an eyebrow

“Are you okay?”

You let out a sigh and shake your head

“My car decided today would be the best day to take a shit on me”

Jongho makes a small o shape with his mouth before reaching over to pop open the passenger door 

“C’mon, I’ll take you home” 

Your eyes widen and you begin shaking your head 

“Nononono, it’s fine. I have money to take the bus anyways, I’ll just come back later for my car. Plus, I don’t want you to waste your gas driving me around-”

your rambling is cut short when Jongho lets out a small chuckle 

“You really think I care about gas?”

You shut your mouth before shrugging 

“I don’t know what you rich kids worry about in the first place,” you tease

Jongho rolls his eyes

“Just get in the car (Y/N), you shouldn’t take the bus right now anyways.”

Thinking it over for a split second, you nod your head and reach back inside your car to grab your backpack, phone and keys

quickly locking your car, you sling your backpack over your shoulder and walk over to Jongho’s car 

sliding in, you can’t help but notice how nice the interior is

there’s not a speck of dust in the whole thing and it smells so good

I wonder if it’s his cologne you muse

“Same address?” Jongho asks, looking at you expectantly 

god, it feels so weird to have his full gaze pinned on you 

even after working with him, you don’t think you’ll ever get over the giddy feeling in your stomach you experience when Jongho rests his full attention on you

“Yup,” you swallow, nodding your head

Jongho is quick to put his car in drive and the two of you take off in a comfortable silence 

“So,” Jongho starts, “what happened with your car?” 

you groan, your head falling back against the headrest 

“Honestly, I have no idea. It’s rarely given me any problems before this, but today, it just decided to stop turning on altogether.” 

Jongho hums

“I have a close friend who’s really good with cars,” he says. 

“I can ask him to take a look at yours, if you want.”

You frown slightly 

If he knows Jongho then it might cost me an arm and a leg just for him to even look at my car

“It’s okay-” you start, trying to figure out how to nicely turn him down

As if reading your mind, Jongho cuts you off 

“You don’t have to worry about money, if that’s what you’re thinking about,” he glances at you from the corner of his eye

“I’ll just say it’s for a friend and he won’t charge me.” 

a friend?

“Plus, he owes me anyway from the last time I helped him out with his girlfriend,” Jongho rolls his eyes, but you can still hear the fondness seeping into his tone

You turn to face him

“Are you sure?” you ask hesitantly 

you don’t like feeling like you owe people things 

not that Jongho is one of those people

but still

his car probably costs more than your house

and you’d rather not have to experience paying him back, whatever way it may be

Jongho shrugs

“Of course. I’d rather help you with car and not worry about you getting around safely than letting you take it elsewhere.” 

You feel your face warm and you have no idea what to say

meanwhile, Jongho is internally freaking the fuck out over letting his thoughts slip 

yeah, okay, maybe he thinks you’re a little cute, and he really admires your work ethic, and how you treat him like a normal human being rather than just another rich kid 

and maybe he thinks your nervous habit of chewing on your lip is a little bit cute and the way you confidently raise your hand to speak up in class is, like, really hot 

but still

he’s supposed to be cool and collected 

not whatever the fuck just happened

there’s an awkward silence while the two of you sit with those words

thankfully, Jongho turns onto your street before the silence can stretch on 

“I’m surprised you still remember where I live,” you admit

Jongho tries to ignore the way his neck feels hot 

“What can I say, I have a great memory” 

slowly, the car pulls up to a smooth stop in front of your driveway

grabbing your backpack, you reach for the door handle 

“Thank you again Jongho, I really appreciate it,”

now it’s his turn to feel flustered at your honest gaze 

“anytime” is all he manages to get out 

nodding slightly, you open the car door and step out, making sure to gently shut the door behind you 

before you’re able to take a few steps forward, a voice stops you in your tracks

“What time should I be here tomorrow?” 

You make a confused noise

“Huh?”

“Well, since you still don’t have a car and I won’t be able to have my friend look at it for another week, I’ll pick you up and drop you off.”

you shake your head 

“No it’s fine! Seriously, this was more than enough, and you’re already doing so much for me-”

Jongho cuts you off again

“But I want to,” he says simply

well shit 

what are you supposed to say to that? 

biting your lip nervously, you eventually nod your head 

“Okay fine, but I’m going to do something to return the favor,” you threaten 

a beautiful gummy smile breaks out on Jongho’s face 

“I can’t wait”

                                               ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

i love jongho so much

[burntheedges-updates]

over again, chapter 4: first date

Joel Miller x f!reader summary: you fell in love with Joel Miller in Austin, Texas, in 2001, but you thought you lost him and your whole family in 2003 when the world turned upside down. now it's 2024, and you find the surprise of your life waiting for you in Jackson, Wyoming. or, five times you and Joel fell deeper in love, on both sides of the apocalypse (and one time you did something about it) 18+ minors DNI

chapter tags/warnings: fluff, flirting, banter, angst, panic attack, dancing, pining, kissing, the smut has arrived, pet names (darlin’, baby, honey, pretty girl), Joel calls reader a good girl, neck grabbing (no breath play), light manhandling, grinding, spit kink, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), p in v sex (w/ condom), mention of breasts/nipples, praise kink, if I missed anything please let me know! If you'd like to skip the smut, check on ao3 - I've got notes there about what to skip a/n: Welcome to chapter 4! A day early!! It’s time for these two to go on a first date… and another first date, 20 years before. And oh yeah, the smut is here. The country night club in this chapter is based on one I frequented in the south in the early 2000s (lol). music note: More songs are mentioned in this chapter! All songs mentioned in this fic are on the playlist, which is linked below. word count: 13.3k

series main post | series playlist | ao3 | ch 3 || ch 5

This is my updates-only blog! Follow me at @burntheedges

Chapter 4: First Date

Jackson, Spring 2024

You have dinner with Joel and Ellie a few more times over the next few weeks. Sometimes just the three of you, and sometimes with Tommy and Maria as well. 

(Maria has warmed up a bit to Joel, following his return with Ellie in tow. She’s blunt and opens up more easily to people that have the Joel stamp of approval, which is just Tommy, sort of Maria, and you – all of the adults in her would-be family that don’t know how to talk to each other quite yet.)

Joel manages to join you for lunch a few times as well, and he listens to your tales of the gardens and the stables with the same slightly incredulous air that Tommy still does – you, an indoor girl, enjoying working outdoors. Anyone who knew you Before would never believe it, but no one here except the Miller brothers knows enough about you to find it at all odd. He laughs almost as loud at your story about getting stuck in the manure as Tommy did witnessing it. Right in the middle of the dining hall.

You and Joel also spend a couple of afternoons listening to the songs on the CD with Ellie and telling her a bit about each one. She likes the faster songs, like “Arrasando” and “Fruta Fresca”, and the ones that make her laugh, like “Boot Scootin’ Boogie” and “Pickup Man.”

(You tell her the story of how a woman hit on Joel in the grocery store parking lot, leaning suggestively on his pickup truck, and how she quoted the song (you know, there’s something women like about a pickup man), and how you and Sarah never let him live it down, singing the song to him every chance you got, playing up different parts (I never knew you were a pickup man!). You even got him to sing along eventually. She laughs so hard at your reenactment of it all that she falls off the couch. She and Sarah would have gotten along like a house on fire, you think.)

She scoffs a little at the romantic songs like the teenager she is. 

Listening to the songs is hard, and you notice that Joel skips a couple of them (you don’t blame him, and both of you avoid the other’s eyes when he does). But Ellie brings a brightness to every room she’s in. Even as she’s cursing up a storm about missing her favorite food in the dining hall one night because of family dinner - right up until Tommy walks in the door with a plate, just for her. You can feel something in yourself start to bloom again as you tell stories about Sarah and Joel from Before to this child who asks questions about unexpected things, like strobe lights in clubs and menus at fancy restaurants and piñatas at family parties. It lets you take a step back and try to see it all through her eyes, unfamiliar and new. It’s refreshing even when it hurts. 

You think it’s having the same effect on Joel, but you haven’t talked about it. You can only see what he’s showing on his face and you think it mirrors what’s on yours. You haven’t talked more about your 20 years apart, other than some small details here and there. Ellie hasn’t asked again. You see him looking at you sometimes like he wants to ask, wants to reach out, but he always hesitates. Slow. 

After a few weeks (almost a month since they’ve been back in Jackson) of getting more comfortable around each other, Tommy ramps up his campaign to get the two of you to join him at the bar one night. You’ve been there with Tommy a few times, of course, but you haven’t been one for lingering there since you’ve been in Jackson. You were on your own for so long that at first it was odd to be around so many people. You know Joel has been with Tommy a few times, but he didn’t stay long, either. Always wanting to be home for Ellie. 

Eventually Tommy pesters you into agreeing by getting Maria to hang with Ellie for the night – as much as they haven’t quite bonded yet, Ellie is still curious and a bit excited at the prospect of a baby, and the plan is for her to help decorate the nursery. You saw the look on her face when Joel referred to the baby as her cousin, and you think Ellie herself can’t look straight on at the emotion that came over her in that moment. She’s still getting used to the whole family thing. You and Joel are too, but you’re easing back into something you had once and lost, which is different than discovering something you’ve never had at all. 

The night of your outing you don’t let yourself dither by your closet. You allow yourself two options and once you decide you head downstairs to meet Joel and Tommy by the road. For a moment you marvel, again, at the novelty of doing something that used to be mundane – choosing your outfit for a night out. 

Tommy looks like he used to at Christmas, so excited to drag you both out of the house. Joel looks just as handsome as always — shoulders broad in his flannel shirt — but he’s also side-eyeing his brother like he might want to put him in a headlock if he doesn’t stop spilling good cheer everywhere. 

“Alright, Millers, let’s get this show on the road.” You tuck an arm through both of theirs, one on each side like you used to do when you went out dancing. For a moment the once-familiar feeling of being surrounded by your family like this takes your breath away. But the three of you easily fall into step as you head towards the only bar in town. 

“You should bring your CD out sometime, get everyone to dance.” Tommy looks hopeful as he makes his request, glancing between you and Joel as you walk. 

“Maybe. I don’t want to lose it, or break it.”

“I know, sunshine – we can be careful.”

You shrug, and ask what kind of music is going on tonight. Sometimes there’s live music, a few people in town who can play various instruments, but often it’s this old-as-dirt jukebox that sometimes needs coaxing to play more than a few chosen songs without going rogue and disregarding whatever you picked next. Sounds like tonight is a jukebox night. 

The three of you arrive at the bar, and as Tommy moves to enter ahead of you, Joel lets his hand slide down to twine his fingers through yours. He squeezes your hand as the two of you step inside, reminding you of all the times he did that to reassure you Before, when you were still learning how to dance. It makes you smile. 

Tommy waves you over to a table in the corner and heads to the bar to get drinks. You slide in beside Joel, feeling a bit awkward as you turn to him while you wait for Tommy to come back. “He’s just as smug as he was that first time you and I went line dancing with him.”

Joel huffs a laugh, looking uncomfortable in public in a way you’d never seen him Before. He keeps checking on the people in the bar, eyes never staying in one spot for long as he sweeps them over the room. As he turns back to you, he replies, “Tommy loves to make me uncomfortable.”

You tilt your head at him, considering. “I get now, I’m not totally comfortable here either, but then? You always seemed so confident when we went out dancing. Helped me shake off my nerves.”

“That was because of you, darlin’.” He leans closer. “It was impossible for me to feel uncomfortable with you on my arm. All I could see was you, anyway.” You duck your head a little to hide your reaction from the room, and he gives you that half smile that raises goosebumps down your arms, like it always did. “Before I met you he used to drag me out and I probably stuck out like a sore thumb, anxious and frowning in a corner by the bar.”

You laugh at the image, just as Tommy returns with your drinks. “What are you two laughing about over here, hmm?”

Your eyes meet Joel’s again, and he’s giving you a warning glance against Tommy’s teasing. “We’re just reminiscing about going out dancing.”

Tommy grins widely. “I’m telling you, we can have a dance night here. Just need the right music for it. The jukebox does alright, though there’s a lot of slower songs. It doesn't have the widest selection.”

“Neither do I, with just the one CD.” 

Tommy shakes his head at your response. “Ah, but what a CD it is! I remember that mix. Sarah always had a way with a playlist.” You notice Joel shifting his weight at the mention of Sarah, but you decide not to draw attention to it.

“You just want me to embarrass myself with how little I remember.”

“Nope, not going to fall for a tall tale like that, sunshine. I heard from Ellie that you two still got it.” Tommy winks at you. You forgot what having a brother was like, with all the teasing, and you can’t help the swell of emotion in you as Tommy grins at you. You take a sip of your drink to cover it, and cough. 

“What the hell is this?”

“What, you don’t like it? It’s the strongest thing we got.”

“Did someone make this in their bathtub? I thought we had whiskey in this town.” You hold up your glass to the light, eyeing the light brown liquid distrustfully.

Tommy smirks at you. “Sure we do, sunshine, but tonight’s for having fun.” You roll your eyes at him. Joel is hiding his face in his hand, but you know he’s just trying to hide how much he’s laughing at your back and forth.

“You, Tommy Miller, are trouble. Just as much now as you ever were then.” You point at him and go for a stern expression, but you miss by a mile when you start to laugh. He laughs, too, and Joel just shakes his head at the both of you.

“Aw come on, I’m an upstanding member of the community these days, you know? No one’s dragged me out of the drunk tank in Jackson.”

“Jackson doesn’t have a drunk tank, Tommy.”

“Semantics, sunshine.”

You and Tommy keep the show going through your first drink with only a little bit of input from Joel, but you can see him smiling and starting to enjoy himself. With the second drink comes the return of Tommy’s campaign for dancing.

“Look, I’ll go pick out a song from the jukebox, and I swear it’ll be a good one. See, there’s already a few people dancing.”

You look over, and sure enough, there are a few pairs sort of swaying in place by the jukebox. You turn back to Tommy with an unimpressed look on your face, but he grins unrepentantly. “You’ll just have to show them how it’s done, won’t you?”

He heads over to the jukebox anyway, so you turn to Joel. “What do you think? You up for it?” He looks around the room before his eyes return to yours.

“I’ve never turned down a chance to dance with you, darlin’, and I’m not about to start, even here.”

His words send heat rushing towards your face and you bite your lip to hide your reaction. He sees it anyway. “Smooth moves, Miller, as always.”

He shrugs. “With you, it’s always just been a matter of letting myself say what I want to say or what I’m feeling and somehow it works. I was never this smooth before you, so you should blame yourself, you know, you bring it out in me.” You shove his shoulder, laughing a little. “Or maybe it’s only meant to work on you.” He smiles a little when you roll your eyes, trying to hide the effect his words have on you. You wonder if the drink has opened him up a bit tonight, after your weeks of progress so slow you’ve almost been standing still. The thought makes you hesitate. 

“Really, though, this is ok?”

He regards you for a moment, and his expression turns intent. He leans in to whisper in your ear, “it’s more than ok, darlin’. Let me show you.” You shiver all the way down your spine. You nod.

Tommy returns triumphant from the jukebox – he’s set the next two songs, but then can’t make any promises about what comes after. The first is playing now, a slow song that won’t really do, but it’s already almost over. Joel stands and extends his hand to you to guide you out of the booth and towards the small dance floor on the other side of the room near the jukebox.

Right as you get there the track changes, and you hear the familiar opening notes of “The Fireman.” You have to give it to Tommy – this is a good choice. Good for dancing, but not one that either you or Joel associate too many memories with. You take Joel’s right hand with your left as he places his left on your back. 

“You ready?”

“Get on with it, cowboy.” 

He smirks, and does just that. He doesn’t hesitate, just starts two-stepping across the small dance floor. It becomes clear pretty quickly that not only do the two of you remember the steps, you’re almost, if not just as good together now as you were then. He starts to get a little fancy with it and throws in some spins that lead you from one end of the dance floor to the other, followed by a pretzel. You find yourself laughing, exhilarated, and you see a similar expression on Joel’s face. He looks lighter, his shoulders a little taller. He brings you back to face him, doing some simple steps for a moment, and then gets a glint in his eye that you remember well. 

“Joel–” is all you manage before he spins you out, pulls you back in, and you fall into his arms as he dips you, tipping you over his knee and off your feet, just for a moment. It’s not the fanciest move you’ve ever done with him, but it leaves you breathless, faces close together as he holds you there for a moment, smirking. 

He sets you back upright, and slows it down a bit. You can’t drag your eyes away from his but neither of you say anything. It feels like you’ve created a bubble where it’s still 2002, and you and Joel are tearing across the dance floor in one of the clubs in Austin, like no time has passed. You even heard Tommy whistle over the music when Joel spun you off your feet. Just like old times.

As you let your body take over, you start to feel a tingling sensation that travels from the base of your spine all the way to the top of your head. You’re getting overwhelmed, and your body knows what to do, but your mind is checking out. It’s like you're experiencing two things at once – your memories, and what’s happening now. You realize that you and Joel are still moving, but both of your expressions have gone still and unreadable. When the music stops, so do you, and for a moment, neither of you move from your embrace. 

Suddenly you notice that your heart is racing. You’re sweating and you’re out of breath. When did that happen? Joel’s chest is heaving, too. Distantly you remember Tommy saying he had no idea what song would come next and you wonder if you should move aside.

Before you can move even a finger, you hear the jukebox switching tracks, and you see the next song slam into Joel like a freight train. The first notes are barely over and he’s already pulled away from you, turning sharply and heading for the door so fast you realize your hands are still hanging in the air where he left them as the door to the bar closes behind him. You let them drop and start to move, you’re not sure where to, when you feel Tommy come up next to you. 

“Hey, sunshine, you alright?” HIs hand comes up to support your elbow as he moves in front of you and blocks the room’s view. You want to respond, but all you can hear is Lonestar singing about being in love, and all you can see is the Millers’ backyard in 2002. You feel the ghost of Joel’s hands on you and you swear you can hear him singing “Amazed” to you as you sway in place. You remember choosing this song for your first dance at your wedding. You blink your eyes, dazed.

You fist your hand in Tommy’s shirt, shaking him a little. “I need… outside. I need to go outside. Tommy, take me outside.” He’s already leading you to the door before you finish speaking.

Outside, you turn sharply to the right, planning to prop yourself up against the outside wall of the bar and remember how to breathe, but you find that apparently Joel had the same thought. He’s got one hand on his chest and the other in a death grip on the frame of one of the windows. He’s gasping for breath. You and Tommy call out at the same time, but you don’t think he hears you. 

Tommy starts to move towards him, but you elbow him away and slide between Joel and the wall, putting your right hand to his chest and moving his right hand from his chest to yours. “Joel, look at me.” He sucks in a breath and does, clutching at your shirt where you put his hand. “Breathe with me, ok, baby?” He doesn’t respond, but the two of you lock eyes and you start to breathe together. You can see Tommy out of the corner of your eye – he’s turned his back to the two of you, ushering people on as they pass by. 

You breathe together for a little while and eventually, Joel’s breaths come more easily, as do yours. You feel his hand relax and yours does the same where you’re clutching his right arm, holding him in place. Both of you are shaking. He tries to speak, clears his throat, and tries again.

“I can’t…” You shake your head sharply, afraid to let him finish that sentence. He moves his hand from the window frame to your cheek in response and smooths his thumb across your cheekbone. It settles you.

“Let me try that again. I’m sorry, darlin’, I don’t know if I can be that man anymore.” 

You’re confused. “Joel, what man?”

“I’m not…” he takes a deep breath. “I’m a mess. I know I said slow, and we are moving slow, but I can’t see my way to our destination. I’m not the man I was Before and I don’t know if I can be him again.” He looks at you, eyes wide and afraid, and suddenly you’re angry. The words that have been caught in your throat for a month finally spill out.

“Joel, I’m not who I was Before, either. We’ve talked about it a little, but there’s a lot you don’t know about me yet. Who I became and what I did. You don’t have a monopoly on the pain of the last 20 years, alright?” He opens his mouth, but you shake your head and tighten your grip on his right arm. “No. We need to talk, and we need to learn about each other. But the truth of you is still there.” You flatten your hand over his heart. “I can see you in there, Joel Miller. I can see you in how you parent Ellie and how you talk to Tommy and how you look at me. I can see the way you take care of us and the way you’ve started to step up to help the people here.” You grip his shirt and shake him a little, doing everything you can to keep eye contact. “It’s scary, sure, I’m terrified. But I’m not giving this up before it even starts because it’s hard, or because sometimes the memories will overwhelm us. I already lived 20 hard years without you and I’m not doing it again. Not when that’s not what either of us really want.”

Joel looks like you cracked open his chest, actually gripping his heart in your hand instead of his flannel shirt, his expression wild. 

“All I’m asking, baby, is that you try. I can do one step forward, two steps back. As long as we keep going forward, it doesn’t matter how much we backtrack on our way.” He doesn’t respond right away – he looks over your face, and down to his hand on your chest and back up to meet your eyes. You can see tears glistening on his eyelashes.

“Alright, darlin’. You don’t have to convince me to go after what I want. I’ve just been afraid to let myself have it. I don’t… I don’t want you to discover I’ve become someone you can’t abide.”

You bring both hands up to cup his face. “Joel, I’m afraid of the same thing. But I want to figure it out together, not apart.” He nods, and turns his face into your right hand, taking a deep breath. You feel him kiss your palm, lightly, and you shiver. “We can still take the long way. I just want you to walk it with me.”

You feel the adrenalin of the last fifteen minutes start to leave you and suddenly you’re a bit unsteady on your feet. He holds you up, moving his hands to your waist. 

“Are you alright, darlin’? Let’s sit down.” You shake your head.

“I think I’d like to head home.”

“Let me take you home, then.”

You both turn to find Tommy has moved a bit further away, but he’s still guarding you both from the foot traffic at the door. He looks over when you look at him, and smiles a little ruefully. “I’m sorry about that, y’all.”

“Nothing to apologize for, Tommy.”

“I can get that song off the jukebox–” 

Joel interrupts him, firmly. “No, leave it. I might…” he sighs. “We might want to hear it. Later.” You smile at him a little as he tucks your right arm through his left.

You say goodnight to Tommy and start to head home. The streets of Jackson are dark and quiet. You’re both quiet, too, letting the intense moment you just had settle as you lean on each other for support. Soon enough your houses come into view, and Joel walks all the way to your front door before he stops and turns to you and says your name softly.

“I have to thank you. You always know what to say to get me out of my head.”

“You always did the same thing for me, you know? We were good together for a reason.”

He smiles, and nods. “I know it.”

You reach out to pull him in for a hug, and you both squeeze a bit tighter than you have so far, since your reunion. You feel his left hand cup the back of your neck as the right slides down your back and pulls you closer. You’ve been through an emotional wringer in the last half hour, but you still feel your body start to respond to this man. Like it always has. 

You turn your head so you can speak quietly into his left ear. “I enjoyed our dance, you know? Before all that.” His hand takes a firm grip on the back of your neck and you shiver. 

“Oh, I know you did. I could tell.” 

You laugh, and smack him lightly on the shoulder. “Oh yeah? Well you were enjoying it too, I could see it.”

“Never said I wasn’t. Never could take my eyes off you on the dance floor.” He pulls back a bit, and you meet his eyes. Gone, for the moment, is the worry from before – what you see in his gaze makes your breath catch in your throat. He smirks at you and runs his thumb up the side of your neck. 

“Can I kiss you goodnight, pretty girl?” As he says it he tilts your head up towards his. Joel has always called you darlin’, from the very first time you met, and you love it. But there were some pet names he only used at certain times and, well. Pretty girl has the same effect on you now as it did then. Between that and his hand on your neck you swear your feet float off the ground.

You’re breathless, but you manage an actual response. “I thought you’d never ask, cowboy.” He huffs a laugh at that, and then pulls you in close.

You’ve kissed Joel Miller countless times. He kissed you for the first time in his backyard in Austin in 2001 and after that you can’t even recall every time or place you kissed this man, there were so many. You wouldn’t say you got used to it, but you did come to expect it – Joel Miller, available and ready to be kissed by you, whenever you’d like. You knew him inside and out and you’d kissed him everywhere and every way you could imagine, back then.

But everything about this kiss is new. 

Joel softly presses his lips to yours, tilting your head with his grip on your neck, strong and confident. You circle your arms around his waist, moving even closer as you press into the kiss. He moves with you, pulling back a little, but returning almost immediately and kissing you a little deeper, a little firmer. You part your lips and you feel him inhale sharply before he slides his hand down from your waist to brazenly grab your ass, deepening the kiss just a bit, running his tongue along your bottom lip and groaning slightly as you bite softly as his lip in response. 

You’ve touched him where you’re touching him before and he’s touched you like this. But it doesn’t feel the same. It feels new, and heady. It feels like a first kiss and a millionth kiss all at once. He’s kissing you like he knows you, and he clearly remembers what you like, but it’s also like kissing a stranger. One who’s picked up new moves that just echo the ones you remember from Before. One whose body is familiar but also different, changed and aged in ways you haven’t had a chance to explore just yet.  

Joel shifts his weight in a way that turns you slightly, allowing him to slide his hand down further and grip the back of your thigh before pressing you against your own front door. He uses his grip to pull your leg up, stepping closer and pinning you in place with his hips. 

He tilts your chin up again with the hand on your neck and uses his thumb to open your mouth wide. You’re pressed tight between him and the door, sinking into your growing arousal, sinking into him. He looks down at you, mouth held open and waiting for him. You feel hot and dazed, watching as he runs his tongue across his own bottom lip slowly. He meets your eyes, gaze heavy, before lowering his head and devouring your mouth. You sneak your hands inside his shirt to run your nails up his back as your tongues tangle. Joel moans, so quietly you almost don’t hear it, and thrusts his hips into yours. Your breath catches as you feel his arousal meet your own. You feel desire pooling in your lower abdomen and your legs start to shake.

You might have gone on like that all night – you might have let him fuck you against the door, unashamed, outside where anyone can see you – but a door a few houses down suddenly slams shut, startling you both. 

Joel almost jumps away from you at the sudden interruption. Not far, he’s still got his hands on your hip and your neck. Your hands rest on his belt. He’s breathing hard and you suddenly realize you are, too. You shake your head, blinking, and start to claw your way back to awareness – your connection was so familiar, so easy, so much like Before. You’d sunk into those depths like slipping into a dream.

You blink at each other before you both let go at the same moment, standing up straight and stepping away. He lets his eyes dance over you, taking in your mussed clothes and swollen lips, before closing his own and pressing his palms to his eyes. He takes a deep breath. You can see the familiar outline of his cock in his jeans, and you force yourself to look away.

“I need to… I’m sorry, darlin’, but we shouldn’t. Not yet.” You nod. You try to convince yourself it’s the smart thing to do, even as you feel the pull of him like a magnet. Even if all you want in this moment is to pull him inside and make him finish what he started, just on the inside of the door this time. For some privacy.

“We still need to talk,” you manage. Your voice sounds unfamiliar to your own ears, but Joel nods in response. “But we agreed, right? This, us, together – that’s the destination. Even if we take it slow.”

“Slow,” he repeats, eyes lingering on your lips. He blinks, and meets your eyes. “Slow, yes.”

“We should walk away before we jump each other where the whole town can see.” You smile as you say it. It doesn’t sit right on your face. You take a deep breath and move to open your door without taking your eyes off Joel.

He smiles back, and nods. His attempt looks just as uncomfortable as yours. “Alright, darlin’, I’ll see you tomorrow? Or soon?” 

“Of course. Tomorrow.” Your feet feel rooted in place until he finally manages a step off of your porch. Your face feels like a mask as you try to present something pleasant, agreeable, fine with watching your heart walk away from you. The connection you just reawakened pulls taut between you and tugs at something deep in your chest. You keep your eyes on each other, and once he reaches his own porch you finally open your door. You take one last look, chest tight, before entering your houses at the same time. 

Inside, you close your door and immediately slide down against it to sit on the floor, head in your hands.

...

Austin, Spring 2001

You and Joel talked a few times between Sunday and Friday – standing in your front yard, once, and over the phone twice, finalizing your plans and flirting so much you found yourself not paying attention and getting wound up in the cord of the old phone that came with the house. He told you not to waste your limited texts on him, the dinosaur, but you texted him a couple of times anyway. Sarah must have taught him a few things because he actually sent you a winky face back once. It made you laugh and clutch your phone to your chest like some kind of swooning maiden. You told Emily, your friend at work, and she laughed at you so hard she snorted soda up her nose at lunch. Served her right. 

Friday arrived just in time to save you from working yourself up too much into a state of anticipation and nerves. You made yourself stick with the outfit you had picked out on Wednesday night when you talked to Joel on the phone and tried to figure out what was appropriate to wear dancing. He told you you’d be beautiful no matter what, but you wanted to look good on his arm for your first – and long awaited – date. You ran the outfit by Emily, too, and she gave it her official born-and-bred-in-Texas stamp of approval. (She also told you it was a good idea to wear jeans, because everyone else would likely do the same.) It wasn’t going to get much better than that.

Joel was going to pick you up at 7:30 after he dropped Sarah off for her sleepover. At 7:15 you were standing in your entryway with nothing left to do, feeling a little foolish. You looked around for something to occupy you and had just decided you’d put some dishes in the dishwasher, maybe, when there was a knock at the door. You glanced at the clock –7:17 – and raised one eyebrow while opening the door to find Joel on the other side. He was wearing cowboy boots, black jeans that were so tight in the hips it should have been illegal, and a button up green shirt that made your mouth water at how it showed off every line of his torso.

“A bit early, aren’t we?” you teased, leaning your shoulder against your door frame and crossing your arms.

“Well hello there, beautiful. I couldn’t wait any longer to see you. And you answered that door pretty quick, you know, to be teasing me like that. Were you waiting for me?” He grinned at you and winked. What a flirt.

“Maybe I was. You’re looking pretty sharp yourself, cowboy.” 

Joel offered his hand to you and you took it, stepping outside to join him before locking your front door. “Ready to go?”

“Lead the way.”

He handed you into his truck and set off for the taco place he’d been on you to try for months. 

(He’d learned earlier in the week while you were talking in your front yard that you still hadn’t gone, and the incredulous way he said your name had made you laugh.

“How? Darlin’, we told you about it months ago!”

“I’m busy, ok! And maybe I was waiting for an invitation.” You smiled and raised one eyebrow at him. 

He grinned, but shook his head. 

“Well, this can’t stand, darlin’. Seems like I’ll just have to take over from here, hmm? Make sure my girl is getting the best Austin has to offer.” He definitely caught your reaction to my girl, stepping closer and cupping your face with his right hand. You smiled at him, a little dazzled. 

“Pretty sure of yourself, huh, cowboy?” You smoothed your hands around his waist and linked your fingers at the small of his back. 

“Nah. Pretty damn sure of how much you deserve to be taken care of, more like.” You felt like you were going to swoon again, and really, twice in one week? This man.)

So you headed towards the taco place in the truck. Joel asked you about your week at work, how your students were doing, and he smiled a little when you told him that Emily approved your outfit for a night of dancing. 

“You tell her thank you from me, darlin’, I sure do approve, too.” He reached over and set his right hand on your thigh, squeezing gently. You laughed and rolled your eyes a little, moving to hold his hand.

The taco place turned out to be pretty crowded, but there were plenty of tables outside and soon you were settled with tacos and drinks. Your table was cozy, a two-person set-up right towards the end of their outdoor deck, which was strung with fairy lights. 

“Well? What do you think?”

“It’s lovely, Joel.” You felt his boot slide forward and settle against your foot. You smiled at him, resting your chin in your hand. “I’m glad you asked me out.”

Joel reached over and ran his thumb across your bottom lip, fingers cupping your jaw. “You got no idea how glad I am that you said yes, darlin’.” You opened your mouth to respond, but he left his thumb there, right in the middle of your bottom lip. He pressed down gently and you couldn’t help but dart your tongue forward to meet it. You watched as he inhaled sharply, staring at your mouth. You opened a little wider.

Joel shook himself and cleared his throat, pulling his hand away. “We should eat, baby. We got some dancing to do later.” He picks up a taco.

You smiled, enjoying the effect you clearly had on him, as strong as the effect he had on you. “Right. Dancing.” He shot you a look, picking up what you were implying.

“Eat your tacos, troublemaker.”

“Yes sir!” He coughed at your response, and you laughed, finally relenting. You picked up your own taco and took a bite.

You moaned.

“Joel! This is amazing!” You looked up from your food to find him watching you, dark eyes intent. “What?”

He just grinned, slow and smooth. “Nothing, darlin’.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, but didn’t press.

Over dinner you talked more about your week, about the family party the Millers had coming up, about your worries for your students as you hit the midpoint in the semester. Joel asked you about your coworkers and some of your students by name, and your heart warmed just knowing he remembered them from the stories you’d told him. That he listened and cared.

He told you about the projects he and Tommy were working on now, and some of his frustrations with his crew and the clients. You realized, as you listened, that Joel had never really held back from sharing himself like this, not with you. You knew all of his crew by name and reputation, at this point. You could ask after their partners and you knew their roles on the team. He’d been opening himself up to you the whole time, just like you had with him. You’d barely noticed at first because you hadn’t had anything to compare it to, no idea he could be so careful and distant with people he didn’t know. Knowing him the way you did now, well. You smiled, still listening.

The fairy lights were setting everything off in a warm glow, but you felt like that glow was inside of you, too. Like the connection between the two of you was lighting you up from the inside. Your fingertips were tingling.

You wrapped your ankles around one of his under the table and squeezed. He winked at you in response. 

Around 9 you got back in Joel’s truck to head to the club he and Tommy had told you about. Apparently they sometimes played Latin music, but tonight was going to be all country, which meant two-stepping and line dancing. You felt your nerves, which had faded during dinner, start to return.

“Joel, you sure I know enough to go dancing? We barely got started last week.”

He reached over and set his right hand on your thigh again. “You’re ready, darlin’. Just follow my lead – I won’t throw anything too fancy at you.” 

You sent him a look. “Something tells me I shouldn’t believe you.”

He grinned, tapping his fingers against your thigh, sending tingles down your spine. “I did say nothing too fancy.” 

You soon arrived and Joel opened the car door for you in front of a large wooden building with neon figures in cowboy hats dancing across the facade. He took your hand again, lacing your fingers together, and started walking towards the entrance where there was a small line. It moved quickly and way too soon you were moving inside. Joel squeezed your hand as you entered the club.

The first thing that hit you was the sound – “Ain't Goin' Down ('til the Sun Comes Up)” was blasting through the dark space. You looked around, noticing the tiered side areas with tables and couches surrounding a huge dance floor sunk into the middle of the club. It was absolutely teeming with people line dancing on one side and two-stepping on the other. You looked at Joel and grinned. “Where to first, cowboy?” He smiled back and tugged you towards the dance floor. As you approached you noticed the bar nearby on the first level.

He leaned close so you could hear him, his lips brushing your ear. “Let’s get a drink and then we can watch for a minute, let you get comfortable.” You nodded, smiling at how well he anticipated what would put you at ease.

He got you drinks and somehow snagged a high bar table close to the dance floor. You stepped up to it and he stepped up close to you, to your side and behind you, curving his left arm around your waist. He put his mouth next to your ear again. “What do you think, darlin’?”

You leaned back a little, letting your back touch his chest as you turned towards him to reply. “They’re dancing pretty fast out there, Joel. I don’t think I can keep up.” He raised his right hand to touch your chin lightly, turning your head to the left a bit.

“Look over there, do you see the split?” As soon as he pointed it out you saw it. Yes, there were some dancers going so fast it made your head spin, but there was an area off to the left where pairs were dancing slower, and some looked like they were still learning, like you. “Everyone here is real polite, real aware of each other. No one’ll make you go fast before you’re ready.”

It reassured you, and you leaned back a little more into his chest. He tightened his arm around your waist. “Thanks, cowboy. That does make me feel better.” He grinned at you and winked again.

As you finished your drinks he pointed out people doing the steps he’d taught you, showing you the different ways they could fit together with other things you hadn’t learned yet. You realized the song was changing, and “My Maria” started up. It was a bit slower than the songs had been so far, which seemed like a sign.

You turned to look at Joel. “Should we give it a go?”

He looked surprised, and then pleased that you suggested it. “Let’s get out there, darlin’.” Before he moved away he leaned in for a quick kiss, stealing your breath and then grabbing your hand to lead you to the dance floor. As you reached it, he turned backwards, leading you with both hands into an open spot. He moved you into the stance he’d taught you on Sunday.

“Just follow me, baby. I’ll guide you right.” You nodded and took a deep breath, and then he started moving.

It amazed you how quick you shook off your nerves in Joel’s arms. He was right, you did have a good handle on the basic steps, and he smoothly led you around your little area of the dance floor, deftly steering you around other dancers. He even threw in a spin that left you a little dizzy. “Joel!” 

“Sorry, darlin’.” He grinned, not looking sorry at all. “Just wanted to give it a try.”

You smiled back, charmed by his easy confidence on the dance floor. “Just warn me next time.”

A couple songs on the slower side followed “My Maria.” After three, you felt like you were letting the dance happen more naturally instead of staring at your own feet so much. Joel was smiling at you softly, and soon he sent you into another spin and caught you close. You stumbled a little and smiled at him. You realized neither of you were moving. You’d frozen in the middle of the dance floor, when his gaze darted down to your lips. 

You'd moved a little closer, breathless, when the crowd suddenly cheered, startling you into stepping back and looking around. You looked at Joel, who was grinning. 

“What’s going on?” you asked, but then you heard it. Most of the men were leaving the dance floor – the women in the room took over as “Man! I Feel Like A Woman!” started up. You laughed, but then stopped when you realized Joel was moving away, too.

“Wait, I don’t know what to do!” You were about to get corralled into one of the lines of dancers that was forming around you.

“Just follow along!” he called, grinning. You looked around and saw a woman you didn’t know beckon you closer.

“I’ll show you! Come on!” She broke it down for you slowly, and soon you were moving with the rest of the crowd. It wasn’t that difficult, you realized, just showy. You noticed some were throwing in spins and kicks, but you focused on the basic steps. Once you had a handle on it you looked up, looking for Joel.

When you found him, you almost froze in place. He was looking right at you, and by the look on his face, you knew he hadn’t looked away from you once. He was watching you with dark eyes, intent. It sent a shiver down your spine and you wanted to run to him, or for him to come back and dance with you again. He had a hand on his chin and he slowly rubbed his thumb along his lower lip as you met his eyes. You stumbled a little over the next step and he smirked, not meanly, more knowingly. You smiled back.

For the rest of the song you felt his eyes on you, and you felt like you were dancing only for him. It made you a little bolder – you swayed your hips more and looked at him out of the corner of your eye. His gaze was angled low. It spurred you on.

By the end of the song you were breathless, and you’d worked yourself up so much you needed a break before you hauled off and dragged him into the bathroom. When you met his eye you knew he was feeling the same way.

The crowd surged a bit as you approached, and you tipped forward into his arms at the edge of the dance floor. “How did I do?” you asked, grinning. He studied you, looking slowly down your body and back up. Your face heated in response.

He leaned forward, arms around your waist, lips brushing your ear again, and said, lowly, “I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. You tore up that dance floor, baby. Let me take you for another spin.” You closed your eyes and leaned your head against his, overwhelmed.

“Be My Baby Tonight” was playing then, and it was fast and a little intimidating. You turned your head towards him. “Get me a water, first, and then you can spin me all around the dance floor, cowboy.”

He ducked his head into your neck, leaving a kiss behind your ear, and then nodded. He turned and headed straight to the bar as you leaned against the high table next to you for support. You steadied yourself, taking several deep breaths. Dancing now. More of… that later. The thought made you chuckle, but you closed your eyes briefly against the heady anticipation it sparked in you at the same time. 

Joel reappeared back in front of you quickly, drinking his own water and watching you intently as you finished yours. “Daddy’s Money” faded into “Shut Up and Kiss Me” as he grabbed your hand to lead you back onto the dance floor without saying a word. Your heart was racing as you followed, eyes locked on his.

The practice and the line dancing had flipped a switch in you, and you found yourself adding little things that made the dance your own. Swinging your hips a bit slower, throwing in an extra twist, spinning faster. Joel met you step for step and encouraged you with every addition. The rest of the club fell away as the two of you moved in sync. You barely noticed when he threw in a new move – a backwards spin of some kind. He smoothly guided you in and out of it, grinning smugly when it worked. 

You danced straight through two more songs (“Fast as You” and “God Blessed Texas”, which the crowd loved). When “What About Now” started you found yourselves pressed even closer together, after the crowd that had formed for “God Blessed Texas”. You kept moving, but Joel caught your eyes right as the chorus started and your breath caught. He pulled you close and, to your surprise, sang softly into your ear, “How ‘bout tonight? Baby for once let’s don’t think twice.” You knew he could play guitar, and he’d mentioned before that he’d wanted to be a singer when he was a kid, but he’d never sung for you. You felt his voice, soft like velvet, sink deep into you and you squeezed your thighs together.

You pulled away and caught his eye, coming to a stop on the dance floor. He looked uncertain for a moment before he saw the look on your face. 

“Let’s get out of here, cowboy.”

He smiled wide and immediately turned and led you through the crowd towards the door. It took longer than you wanted but eventually you emerged into the cool night air outside of the club.

At his truck he stopped and slipped his arm around your waist. He whispered in your ear, “where to, baby?”

“Take me home, Joel.”

“Just home?”

You smirked at him. “Why don’t you get me there and find out?” 

He laughed, opening the door for you and jogging around to throw himself into the driver seat. As soon as he had the truck in drive his right hand was back on your thigh. Higher this time, and with his thumb rubbing a small circle into the outside while his fingers gripped the inside firmly. You sighed and sank a little lower in your seat. He glanced at you, and stood a little harder on the gas pedal.

Joel must have set a record between the club and your house, but soon enough you were pulling up in the driveway and he was opening the car door for you once again. You walked to your front door with him hovering right behind you, hands lightly brushing over your hips as he moved in step with you. 

You unlocked the door, but before you could open it he grabbed your hips and spun you around. You found yourself sandwiched between him and the door, left hand firm on your hip, right hand against the door to the side of your head. The echo of your dance positions made your heart race. 

He leaned in close, brushing his lips across your cheek before murmuring in your ear, “you got plans tonight, pretty girl?” You heard yourself gasp, lightly, and reached out to loop your fingers through his belt buckles. 

“Met some cowboy at the club. He followed me home, trying to get in my pants.”

Joel laughed, and moved a little closer. His left hand moved from your hip to your neck, thumb in front along your collarbone. “Well, are you going to let him?”

You hummed and pretended to think about it. “I dunno. You think he’s any good?”

Joel met your eyes, sliding his left hand to the back of your neck and squeezing. You inhaled sharply and you knew he could see the effect he had, written all over your face. He leaned in and his lips brushed against yours as he replied, “well, baby, you can be the judge of that, alright? After I make you come on my hand,” he kissed you, “and my mouth,” he kissed you again, “and my cock,” he kissed you one last time. 

Your head was spinning at his words and you could feel your arousal pooling in your underwear. You thrust your hips against his right thigh, firm between your legs. He squeezed his hand around the back of your neck again and you gasped as he moved back a little. 

“Well then, cowboy. Take me to bed.”

He reached behind you and opened the door, pulling you in by the waist as he deftly maneuvered you around it and into your dark hallway. He pulled the door closed and locked it with one hand behind him, never even moving away from you, before backing you into the wall to your living room.

“I’ll take you to bed, pretty girl, but I think I’ll take you right here first.”

Your back hit the wall but he didn’t stop, moving forward until his front pressed all along yours. He caught your lips with his, moving his hand back to its new spot around the back of your neck in a strong grip. With his other hand he undid your jeans, then used both hands to start to pull them down. You reached down to help, but stopped when you realized Joel’s eyes had caught on your underwear. Particularly the lace.

“This for me, darlin’?” As he asked he slipped his fingers into the slide of your underwear before moving his hands around to the back and reaching inside to grab your ass cheeks, one in each hand. You thrust your hips towards his, brushing lightly against his jeans.

“You see any other cowboys here?” 

He grinned. “I think I like the idea of you picking these out, thinking about what I might like.”

“Wait until you see what else I’ve got up there.” 

“Oh, I plan to.” He stepped back in to press you against the wall, moving his left hand back to your neck and his right hand around to the front to slip inside your underwear. “Mouth or fingers first, baby? What do you think?” 

You let your head fall back and rest against the wall, breathless at his question.

“Come on, baby. Good girls ask for what they want.” As soon as the words left his mouth you whined, surprising yourself, a tiny noise in the back of your throat, barely there at all. But he heard it. “Oh, do you want to be my good girl?” The effect his words had on you was obvious – chest heaving, eyes closed, heat rushing to your face. “That’s good, baby, that’s real good. Now tell me what you want.”

You took a few deep breaths, trying to focus as his fingers moved lower in your underwear. “Your mouth.” You opened your eyes to see him grinning at you, eyes dark. 

“That’s my good girl.” He leaned forward, voice low in your ear. “Now, let me hear you moan for me like you did back in the restaurant, got it? I want to hear it, baby. Don’t hold back.” And without another word, he sank to his knees in front of you. You steadied yourself on the wall behind you, unable to tear your eyes away from him as he pulled off your shoes, and then your jeans, and then your underwear. You stepped out of them as he ran his hands back up your legs to your hips. He placed a light kiss on each of your hips, sending sparks straight to your pussy. Your legs started to shake. His right hand moved back down to reach behind your thigh and he lifted it over his shoulder. Any self consciousness you might have felt at opening yourself to him like that was immediately quashed by the hungry look on his face.

“Oh, pretty girl. I can’t believe I waited this long to get a look at this pretty pussy.” He leaned forward and placed a kiss just above your clit. You took a breath that sounded like a sob. “I’m going to treat you right.” He was looking straight at your pussy as he said it.

He leaned in and started with a slow lick, from your hole all the way up to your clit. You felt it like a tremor that ran from your toes to the base of your spine, almost taking you out at the knees. 

“Fuck.” Your hands flew to his head, tangling in his hair, but not pushing. He glanced up to meet your eyes before doing it again, this time maintaining eye contact. You felt like you were about to hyperventilate.

“Breathe, baby. Let me make you feel good.”

You whined again, softly, and he grinned. As he moved back to press his lips lightly to your clit, he brought up his right hand to tease his fingers at your entrance. He pressed his tongue down on your clit slowly, softly, before tracing the tip of it towards your hole. He pressed there, hinting at pushing his tongue past your entrance. You tightened your hands in his hair and he smiled, kissing you, right there, and then slowly pushed his tongue inside while his fingers moved up to brush against your clit. 

You felt like you were floating, like last week when you danced, and again tonight when you were so in sync on the dance floor. It was like he could read you and knew what you wanted before you knew you wanted it. He thrust his tongue inside, curling it a way that made you gasp, pushing your hips towards his face involuntarily. You moaned, low. He caught you with his left hand on your hip and pushed you back into the wall. 

“Good girl. Let me hear it.” He teased you again with the tip of his tongue. "You taste so good, baby. I could stay right here for hours.” You shuddered and he moved his fingers down to circle your entrance again. He pushed one slowly inside you. At the same time, he placed an open mouth kiss directly on your clit, lightly tonguing it as he found the spot inside of you that made you shiver. 

He kept it up as you moaned again, mercilessly thrusting his finger inside while lavishing your clit with attention from his lips and tongue. 

You felt your orgasm start to build slowly, from the base of your spine. It radiated up your back and tingled over your scalp, overwhelming you entirely as you pushed down with your hands in his hair and thrust into his mouth. His hand and shoulder held you up as your knees shook. “Joel, I–”

“I know, baby. I can feel you squeezing my finger. That’s it, pretty girl, let me see you come.” The wash of fire over you made you arch your back, and you called out his name as it took you. He worked you through it until you gently pushed his mouth away. 

You heaved a breath and looked down at him, finding him just as wrecked as you, his entire face wet from being buried in your pussy. You watched as he used your hip to pull himself up, standing over you as he pulled his middle finger from inside you and slipped it into his mouth. His eyes slipped shut and he made a noise like he couldn’t get enough. Your mouth went dry. 

Joel opened his eyes and reached for you, pulling you into his chest. “That’s one, baby. Ready for two?” You shuddered but fell forward, into his arms. 

“I think I need to lie down first.” 

He grinned, and wrapped his arm around your waist, drawing you close to lean on him and walking backwards while holding you up. “Let me take care of that for you.” 

“Joel, I can walk!” You laughed as you said it. 

“Nonsense, darlin’. Happy to have you in my arms, now that it’s my job to make your legs shake.” He winked at you and tightened his hold around your waist, drawing you into a kiss at the bottom of the stairs. You couldn’t help but notice how good his arms looked, supporting you like that. You tucked your head into one side of his neck and kissed lightly behind his ear and along his hairline. He tilted his head to give you better access, humming. Then he lightly swatted your ass cheek.

“Let’s get upstairs, pretty girl.” He encouraged you to go up in front of him, and you grinned over your shoulder at him, knowing exactly why. He stared directly at your naked ass, unrepentant. 

Once you reached your bedroom you started to pull your shirt off, but he suddenly grabbed you by the hips and turned you towards him. He reached around behind you to grab your ass in both hands, pulling you into a searing kiss. Before you knew it he was walking you towards the bed, letting you fall onto it backwards. You bounced slightly and your legs splayed open as he stripped off his shirt, grinning at the sight of you. 

“Look at you, pretty girl. Why don’t you take off that top for me.” You did, and watched him remove his boots and jeans, too. 

Soon he was crawling on the bed, leaning over you on his left elbow while he slid his right hand up your leg, over your torso and finally to your cheek, where he pressed gently to turn you towards him and into a kiss. 

“I dreamed about you like this, you know. For a while now.” As he said it he moved his hand back down, teasing your nipple lightly. “You, spread out on a bed, just for me.” 

You kissed his cheek as he turned to look down your body, which squirmed a little under his gaze. “I did too, Joel.”

“What did you dream about, baby?”

You bit your lip to hide a smile. “Everything.”

He hummed, and moved his lips to your ear. He murmured your name. “I thought you wanted to be a good girl for me, hmm? Now, what did you dream about?” As he said it he tweaked your nipple slightly, making you gasp. 

“Your mouth,” you breathed it so quietly he nudged you with his nose to spur you on. You cleared your throat. “Your mouth, and your fingers. Can’t keep my eyes off your shoulders, never could, even that first day. Couldn’t stop imagining them moving over me as you fucked me.” Your voice was steady, but Joel took the opportunity to drop kisses down your neck, moving towards your chest. You started talking faster. “Your arms, holding me up as you fucked me against a wall. Your lips… everywhere. Your thick fingers, sneaking inside my underwear. Being full of you. Being good for you. Using my mouth on you, sucking you off. Riding you in the backyard. Sneaking into the bathroom together on a night out. Sneaking over in the middle of the night to wake you up by sucking your cock. Waking up to your mouth…” You sucked in a breath as he lightly took your left nipple between his teeth. Your mind blanked. You couldn’t remember anything more. “Everything, baby.”

He twisted his tongue around your nipple before sucking a kiss into the side of your breast. You sank your fingers into his hair as you arched towards him. 

“That’s my good girl, yeah? Where should we start?”

“What?”

He looked up at you. “Pick one, baby. Let’s cross something off your list.”

You smiled at him, a little shy. “What about your list?”

“Well, we have plenty of time. And don’t you worry about that.” He crawled over you, legs on either side of your hips, bulge obvious in his underwear. “You’re my list, baby. Everything you said, and everything else we can do, anywhere we can do it.”

You thought about calling him on the lack of specifics, like he did to you, but you knew you’d rather let him follow through on that promise.

“I want your fingers, Joel. Mouth, fingers, then cock, right?” You looked him straight in the eye as you said it. “How many do you think I can take?” He blinked, and then grinned wickedly.

“A good girl like you? I think you’ll take as many as I want to give you, don’t you?” Before you could respond, he leaned down and captured your mouth with his. This time he skipped past any build up and tangled your tongues together as he pressed down on top of you. Your legs were still trapped between his as he ground his cock, still hidden inside his briefs, against your hip. You ran your nails up his back and into his hair.

He shifted his weight to the side, freeing your left leg, which he grabbed at your thigh to push it to the side, opening your pussy to him again. He traced his fingers lightly from your knee to your hip, still kissing you deeply. Once he reached your pussy he traced through the remnants of your first orgasm.

He pulled back slightly, still close enough that his lips touched yours. “Is this pretty pussy always this wet?” You moaned as he slid one finger between your folds, teasing at your entrance. 

“It is for you.”

“Even when you touch yourself, thinking about me?” Your face heated a little, and you turned your head. “Don’t be shy, pretty girl. Nothing gets me going faster than thinking about you – how you look when you’re concentrating, when you’re dancing in your kitchen, when you’re relaxing on the couch in those little shorts you wear around the house.” As he spoke he kissed along your jaw and pressed gently with his finger at your entrance. Almost inside. “I think about your hair on my pillow, your thighs around my head, your mouth on my cock, your pussy on my face, your legs around my waist in my shower, and I can barely keep myself from coming in my pants like a teenager.” He slid his finger inside you, and you moaned again, clutching at his shoulders. “That’s it, baby. Now tell me. Do you get this wet when you touch yourself and think of me?” His voice was stern and his finger curled inside you, making you push your hips towards his hand. 

“Yes,” you breathed, turning your lips to his. “I’m always wet for you, Joel.” He took your mouth again, thrusting his tongue as he thrust his finger inside you. 

“Good girl.” His voice rumbled, low, deeper than you’d ever heard it. He slipped another finger inside you. “That’s two fingers, baby.” He thrust his fingers in and out of you as he devoured your mouth. He slid his left forearm along the bed until his hand was behind your head and he gripped the back of your neck again. “Let’s try a third, hmm?”

You curved your hips into his hand as he added a third finger, stretching you wide and filling you up. You could feel a buzzing in your ears and a tingle at the back of your neck where he held you in his strong grip. 

“That’s so good, baby. Taking my fingers so well. How does it feel?” He squeezed the back of your neck with his left hand as he curled his fingers upwards inside of you. You heard yourself whine before you realized you were doing it.

“Tell me, pretty girl. How does it feel?”

You sucked in a breath, and replied, “it’s so good, Joel.” You clenched around his fingers. “I – I need–”

He sucked a kiss into your neck, and then under your ear. “Tell me.”

“My clit—” you trailed off again as he moved his thumb right where you wanted it. You closed your eyes. He started drawing circles with his thumb as he thrust his fingers into you. You clenched your fists in his hair and in the sheets. You could feel it coming.

“Joel, I’m close,” you arched your back into him as he held your neck down in his hand. 

“I can see that, baby. Don’t you want to be good for me? Let go, and let me see you come. I want to see it up close this time, see your pretty face.”

As soon as he told you to, you did. Blood rushed in your ears as you arched your chest off the bed, thrusting your hips toward his hand. The orgasm took you hard – you saw stars, felt it radiating out from your core to the tips of your fingers and toes. You might have called his name, but you couldn’t be sure. When you came down you heard yourself breathing hard and realized Joel was murmuring your name in your ear. “That was beautiful, darlin’, I’ve never seen anything so pretty. I knew you’d come so nice, you had to, so fucking gorgeous. Prettiest fucking pussy I’ve ever seen, and all for me. You were such a good girl for me, honey.”

You caught your breath, and then caught his face between your hands, pulling him into a searing kiss. He smiled at you after. You slid your right hand down, trailing over his chest and into his underwear. You gripped his cock in your hand. “I believe you promised another on this cock, cowboy.” It was his turn to moan and thrust his hips forward as you ran your thumb across the tip.

“You know I’m good for it.” You helped when he reached to push his underwear down, then kicked it somewhere on the floor. You took his cock in your hand again, marveling a little at the girth. 

“I knew you were big, Joel, but damn.” He straightened his shoulders a little, looking smug. He caught your eye and winked. 

“You knew it, huh?”

“You weren’t the only one looking, baby. I’ve seen you in your swim trunks. And that day your pants slipped down a little, on the ladder? Well, you should have worn a belt, is all I’m saying.” He laughed.

He raised his right hand to trail his fingertips down your face and neck, and traced the shape of your right breast lightly. “Maybe I wanted you to look.” You tightened your grip on his cock and he pinched your nipple in response before moving his hand lower and cupping your pussy. 

He pressed his forehead to yours. “Are you ready for me, pretty girl?” he shifted his hand to your thigh, pushing slowly to make you bend your knee up to your chest. You nodded. “Hmm, I want to hear you say it.”

“Fuck me, Joel. I’m not waiting any longer.” He lifted his head and grinned at you. You grinned back. He reached over and grabbed a condom from your nightstand and made quick work of opening it and slipping it on. 

“Well I know better than to keep a pretty girl like you waiting.” He shifted his weight, hovering over you. You moved your hands to his hips, but he picked up your right hand with his left and laced his fingers through yours before pinning your hand to the bed above your head. You shifted into it, loving the feeling of being held in place. You traced his shoulders with your eyes, watching as his muscles moved to hold you there. He tucked your left leg around his waist, your right rising immediately to meet it. 

Then he reached down to take his cock in hand and tease along your pussy from your clit down to your hole. 

“You’re so wet, baby. Ready for me, hmm?”

You curved your hips towards him, catching the tip of his cock between your folds. “Always, Joel.”

He thrust his hips forward in response, notching the tip right at your entrance. “Christ, darlin’, this is already so fucking good.” He was watching, looking at his cock just kissing your pussy. You felt heat rushing through you, watching him look.

“Now, cowboy. Give it to me.” He met your eyes again and did exactly as you said, pushing inside, studying your face. Your mouth fell open as you felt first the head and then the rest, stretching you wider than his fingers. You watched him lick across his bottom lip as he filled you up. He was staring at your open mouth. You were panting, tongue lax, surrendering to the stretch. You watched as he let spit gather on his tongue and then slip out, falling directly from the tip of his tongue into your open mouth. You caught it on your tongue and held it there. Your eyes snapped back to meet each other’s gaze as you moaned, loud. He thrust his hips forward, filling you the rest of the way in one swift motion.

He leaned down and licked inside your mouth, running his tongue along yours as he pulled back and slammed into you again, pushing you up the bed. For a moment you were both in a frenzy, your hips crashing together as you opened your mouths wide, tongues tangling, breaths coming hot and fast.

You twisted your hips, squeezing your legs around him, and he pulled his mouth away from yours. “You are so fucking hot, you know that? I ain’t never seen anything like you, never felt anything like this.” He was breathing heavily as he sped up his thrusts, reaching around your left hip and squeezing your ass cheek in his right hand. Pulling your pussy closer with his grip. “You’re taking me so well, such a fucking good girl for me.” You gasped, tossing your head back. “Feels like this pussy was fucking made for me. Christ.”

You could barely breathe, but you managed, “It was, Joel. All yours. No– nobody else.”

“Fucking right, all mine.” He pulled almost all the way out before slamming his cock back in. He tilted his head down and nipped at your neck where it met your shoulder. “All for me.”

“Yes, baby. Give it to me.”

He growled, speeding up his thrusts. He slipped his right hand from your ass back around your hip, sliding his fingers down to your pussy again. He tapped your clit once, sharply, and you let out a sound you’d never heard yourself make before. It sent a piercing arousal through you that made you tighten your legs around his waist. He grinned, and did it again, before starting to work at your clit in time with the strokes of his hips. 

He licked from your collarbone to your ear, whispering, “You ready to give me that third one, baby? I want you to come on my cock.” You whimpered and nodded. “Let me have it then.” He was filling you so perfectly, you could feel your orgasm building again. “Let me see it again. Prettiest sight I’ve ever seen. Show it to me, baby. Please.” He bit down on the hinge of your jaw and you felt it hit you again. You squeezed his cock, tight, clenching your pussy as you came. This time it didn’t stop, the movement of his hips and fingers just kept it going, longer than you’d ever felt before. You fell into it. “Good girl,” he grunted as you felt his hips speed up, losing his steady pace. You felt like your orgasm shifted into a new gear as you clutched at his hair and cried out. He thrust hard into you one last time and your eyes flew open, yanking his face from your neck to watch his face as he came. 

You locked eyes as you both tumbled over and came down the other side of the most intense orgasm you’d ever had in your life. You were breathing hard, breath mixing together as you stared at each other. 

“Fuck,” you whispered, and one corner of his mouth lifted in a ghost of your favorite half smile. “Holy shit, Joel.”

He brushed his nose slowly along yours and moved his hips forward one more time. You gasped. “I knew it’d be this good,” he murmured. “Had to be. Fucking made for me, I knew it.” You smiled softly and pressed your lips to his cheek and the corner of his mouth. He caught your lips in a gentle kiss. “Such a good girl, all for me.” Despite how you’d spent the last hour with this man, you felt your face heat a little. He kissed your cheek. 

You both took a deep breath and he pulled out slowly, catching the condom with his right hand. He moved away to dispose of it and you stretched languidly, twisting your hips. You’d never felt so content, so satisfied. 

He came back quickly, cloth in hand to clean you both up before slipping under the covers with you. He pulled you close, tucking your head onto his chest and gripping your waist firmly with his arm down your back. With the other hand he traced designs on the arm you had flung across his chest.

“I’m mighty glad I asked you out tonight, darlin’.”

You smiled into his chest. “I’m mighty glad I said yes, cowboy.” He laughed at your imitation of his accent.

“I don’t sound like that.”

“You sure do.” He reached down and tapped your ass lightly in retaliation. 

“Don’t you want to be nice to me, after I was so nice to you?” 

You lifted your head to look at him, and he was grinning. You shifted your weight so your left hip rested on top of his, bringing your left hand to support your chin on his chest as you looked at him. “You and I both know you like it when I tease you.” He shook his head, but couldn’t hide his smile. 

“Well, you got me. But it just means you fit right in.” You were a little dazzled at the idea of fitting in so well with his family – you knew he meant Sarah and Tommy.

For a moment you just looked at each other. His eyes swept over you, catching on where his now soft cock rested against your hip. You felt your heartbeat begin to slow and enjoyed the feeling of Joel pressed against you everywhere. You let your eyes start to fall shut. He reached over and tapped your chin lightly. 

“I know it’s early, darlin’, but I can’t help but imagine sharing a bed with you like this all the time.” He met your eyes, a little hesitant, as he said it. 

You tilted your head into his hand and twisted your knee between his, trying to sooth him by getting closer. “It might be early in terms of how long we’ve been doing this, Joel, but we’ve been heading this way for a long time. Since we met.”

He nodded. “I know it. But I still don’t want to rush it – I want to savor every moment that gets us there.” You smiled at the acknowledgement that you were both in this with the same goal, same dream. “And it’s not just about this, you know, even though you blew my fucking mind tonight. I love watching you get to know Sarah too, and seeing how we fit together. Everywhere.”

“Me too, Joel. She’s important to me, and I want this to last.” You looked at him for a moment, and then smirked. “We can take the long way, get lost in it a little bit. Do some exploring.”

He eyed you, and you could see that he was trying not to smile. “Exploring, huh?” He moved his right hand to your lower back and pushed down firmly, moving your hips to meet his as he thrust upwards. You felt his cock stir against your hip. “Well, you just let me know what you have in mind. I’ll be ready.”

...

a/n: chapter 5 coming Sunday, 8/27 :)

a/n: ch 5 now posted!

Tag list: @morgaussy  @jay-zzle @bluetattoos @dins-riduur-anthe

Club playlist (all songs are on the series playlist) Ain't Goin' Down ('til the Sun Comes Up) John Deere Green My Maria I’m in a Hurry (And Don’t Know Why) (This Ain’t) No Thinkin’ Thing Man! I Feel Like a Woman! Be My Baby Tonight Daddy’s Money Shut Up and Kiss Me Fast as You God Blessed Texas What About Now Boot Scootin’ Boogie

[trashpandawithangerissues]

BULLY HEADCANONS

FOR CONTEXT I HAVE LIKE A LITTLE AU WHERE ITS THE NEXT YEAR AT BULLWORTH AFTER THE EVENTS OF THE GAME SO SOMETHINGS ARE DIFFERENT:

Derby, Ted and Johnny are all 18 (we at least know they’d be 17 in the main story)

And Edgar is 19, same age as the Prefects (who are around 18 in the main story)

Also all the Townies that we’re still old enough to attend school got reenrolled thanks to Jimmy boy (he gets Zoe back into school in the game so he could probably get the others)

Derby Harrington

- Not SUPER inbred (like Tad nearly is), but he still does have some issues. His immune system is AWFUL like the flu season is like the purge for him and if - god forbid - he gets sick he looks like he’s about to right his will. Like this is him:

- He’s the one who introduced Bif and the Preps to Boxing and also Botany (in a deleted dialogue when you kill the crapula maximus Chad says: “Derby’s going to KILL you!”) He and Parker are the most invested in Botany and Derby has a couple nice orchids on his balcony. He also trains Bif and also the others and I like to think that before Bif took the boxing spotlight, Derby was the champion, but his parents thought he’d be better suited for modelling

- Doesn’t particularly like modelling all that much, it bores him more than his father’s lectures do

- Sometimes disobeys his parents out of spite, but nothing overly serious, because he doesn’t really feel like getting beaten everyday

- He and Pinky put up the dating/betrothed act for their parents, they really kinda just hang out on their dates as besties/cousins rather than actual partners

- He has a drinking problem, like BAD (in the prep hide outs there’s almost always a bar in game) He’s also the complete opposite when he’s drunk, sometimes he’s sad af, sometimes he’s angry, sometimes he’s telling you your his best friend and he loves you and sometimes he’s white girl levels of crazy. He can do shots like it’s NOTHING or scull a whole bottle of expensive booze (shocks people when they first see this happening, damn near gave Johnny a heart attack)

- His way of saying “hey I don’t hate you and you’re my friend heheheh” is buying. So. Much. Stuff. Like oh you don’t have money for lunch? Here’s 3 cheeseburgers, oh you need money for your car to get towed? Take my money.

- Overdresses, to everything, like it could be fancy dress and he still looks way to fabulous.

- Has a guilty love of old corny movies and horror movies like slasher movies, he and Johnny watch them together either at one of their houses or at the movies/drive in movies

- Fairly decent at academics, especially math from him having to help his father with accounts

Johnny Vincent

- Of course, has a smoking addiction who would have guessed. Also he definitely could use an inhaler he STRUGGLES sometimes

- He’s AGGRESSIVELY Italian/American, like he’s the fucking poster boy for them. Angry Italian, the Italian hand and everything. He talks with his hands quite a bit. Like he’s yelling at you in loud Italian while doing this

- He has a sweet tooth especially for home made desserts, just home made food in general he’ll devour it if you look away for one second

- you think he’d be good at flirting but no, he’s a nervous wreck actually. Like if the person he asked out said yes he’d be the type of guy who’d pump his fist as he walked away.

- His uncle - one of many lol - owns a locksmith business and from this, Johnny can crack open damn near anything. Want to get into the staff room? Consider it done.

- Also, his love of cars, motorbikes and mechanic work is from the family business, he knows EVERYTHING about it, how to Hotwire cars, how to fix the pistons cheaply and effectively. His version of Derby’s “I’ll buy you anything you could ever want” love language, his is “I’ll fix you car for free give me some WD 40 and some cigarettes” He will NOT let you go to the mechanic as long as he’s alive

- Like Derby, adores old corny movies and especially the drive in. His favourite type of date is taking them to the movies to watch a horror movie. Is that because he wants his scared date to cling on to him at the jump scares? Maybe. Does he also just really like bad horror movies? Yes. Derby and him could binge the whole of the slasher type movies in one night easy.

- He wins an old broken down Harley Davidson from the auto shop class for having the best grades in school in that class. He fixed it up and he treats it better than he would his first born child

- Although he’s not that good at school, if he can relate it to mechanics, he’s amazingly good at it. Like math, if it’s something he’s had to use before fixing cars he’s great.

- Despite that, he has had to ask Derby for help in math or, reluctantly, Earnest

- He can speak Italian and also English, sometimes he messes up here and there but overall he’s pretty fluent in both. His Grandma and Grandpa on his mum’s side came from Italy and in his Fathers side his Great Grandparents came from Italy

- His sense of style came from his family lmao so did the smoking tbh

- His mum makes so. Much. Food. Like to the point she’ll cook for his friends. He has to tell her when people come over, last time he brought over the boys and he didn’t tell her she yelled at him in Italian and immediately whipped up a whole pot of pasta for them. His friends love her

Ted Thompson

- Golden Retriever boy

- He was going to get braces again (he had them when he was younger FOR SURE) but didn’t want to get bullied again/be a NERD

- If someone’s flirting with him, he won’t get it until you YELL IT at him. I feel so bad for Damon and Justin

- He uses bro and dudes unironically. He’s such a loser I love him

- Like overly competitive in EVERYTHING even board games and video games. Like this would be him

- Sheldon is his step brother. He hates him. Like these two would that sibling duo where Ted just -throws- him away when he’s pissing him off, which is everyday. He’d be that sibling to put Sheldon up somewhere high or tape him to a pole and leave him there. He wouldn’t admit it but he’ll kill someone if they do the same to Sheldon, that’s his job.

- He’s one of those gym bros who could eat a whole cow and still not get “fat” he’s like a black hole he’ll inhale a whole foot long in 5 seconds. He loves Johnny’s mum because of this, she’ll just feed them so much food. He also loves pestering Derby for food, tbh so do Johnny and Edgar.

- He’d totally just, pick up smaller kids like Kirby with one arm. All the big Jocks do tbh

- He’s one of those loveable idiot guys when he’s drunk.

- He BLASTS white girl music like you can hear it from down the road, he also treats it as if it’s karaoke and it’s that karaoke is a competitive sport rivalling AFL and Rugby on footy final day. Like for song like “Talk Dirty” he sings the trumpet part as well.

- He has a Wii and he’s broken at least like 2 remotes, he has to have the strap, lest someone gets a concussion

- The type of guy that if he found out you’re a lesbian he’d be like “Wow you like girls? I do too! We have so much in common”

- I feel like he’d be aggressively supportive of people, like someone calls his friends a slur and he’d just barge them Tf over and throw them in a bin

Edgar Munsen

- I like to think he does his own tattoos, the one on his arm is his first one he ever got. he wants to get more soon. He did that one right as he turned 16, Gurney probably did it for him.

- I feel like he’s also surprisingly good at drawing because of it, like oh btw you said you liked flowers? Here’s a tattoo design. And it’s just like a really good sketch and he down plays it constantly.

- One time he drew one of Derby’s orchids and he nearly got it tattooed right then and there, then remembered his dad would actually kill him

- He’d also get piercing later on, Johnny suggested the place he got his.

- He and Gurney are the booze smugglers of Bullworth, any alcohol you could name, they’ll steal it/buy and smuggle it in for you

- Like he’d stuff booze under his shirt even he’s probably pulled this before

- He smokes the devils bush if you know what I mean. Plus other stuff (in game a couple townies mention making bongs)

- He for reason always has a knife on him. Like he just pulls out a switchblade at school. The prefects have tried taking it off him, but he always gets it back somehow.

- He keeps forgetting he’s technically the same year as the Prefects and he hates it

- Like Johnny, he’s pretty good at breaking into stuff, even more so actually

- He’s definitely hot wired a car before

- I personally think he’s multi-racial with some Asian, African American and Hispanic in him (I like to think he’s Vietnamese/Jamaican-American/Puerto Rican/Mexican)

- He’s more Hispanic though, he’ll cuss you out in Spanish in a heartbeat and maybe some other languages

- Like he’d stub his toe and you just hear loud cussing in 5 different languages

- Like Johnny, he sometimes messes up some words of any of his many languages, but more so

- He also loves horror movies but unlike Derby and Johnny he likes the more psychological horrors that are FUCKED like those French Extremity movies

[hippielittlemetalhead]

So season 3. Let's do this!

This took so so so long and is not quite where/what I wanted it to be soooo... I am so sorry 😅🥲 this will most likely be 2 parts cause... Yeah, just life man.

Actually some dialogue in this one? Sure, a line or two, as a treat.

(Part1) (part2)

Steve had been working at Scoops Ahoy for a few weeks now and he feels like he's built a decent rapport with his coworker Robin. She's witty and snarky and opinionated and when Steve wears a more tinted lipgloss than he intended resulting in a customer clocking it and saying something rude that he can't help but smile his dead-eyed customer service smile at, she clocks out for her lunch early (and takes an extra 15 minutes) and comes back with a full face of makeup and shoos him into the back with the mascara she bought from the shop a couple stores over. They both start coming to work with at least mascara, eyeliner and lipstick and Steve loves it. He compliments the hand-drawn designs on her shoes and she asks where he got his rainbow heart pin. They mostly disagree on music they listen to -she still lets him drag her to a couple live music nights at The Hideout with him and Billy every now and then anyway- but their politics and basic life philosophies line up pretty well.

He could do without the 'You Rule / You Suck' board, especially when Billy gets in on it and adds tallies from a little notebook he starts keeping when he and Steve hang out outside of kids and work. And the jokes about his kids (and occasionally Billy) when they come through for free passage to the movies. And the jabs about his parents' money like he still has access to that or their house.

He doesn't tell her that he was cut off and disowned and kicked out. He doesn't tell her that he had to get a job to help pay for his community college courses because he was a disappointment that couldn't get into a pre-approved 4-year university and that meant no college fund and he was still a few years away from being 21 and having access to the trust fund his grandparents set up for him when he was still just a lump of forming cells. And even then anything in that will probably be blown on buying himself his own permanent place instead of just a hand-me-down trailer in the middle of the woods so he needs to save for things like bills and a mortgage.

He doesn't tell her that the reason he lets the kids get away with so much is because they're *his* and they've already seen more fucked up shit than the cops in this town (save Hop) and he'll be damned if they don't get to just be kids. He'll be damned if they decide he's someone they need to hide from and sneak around like they hide and sneak from Joyce and Hop cause that's how they didn't know about half the shit the kids got up to while the adults were doing their best to take care of things themselves. He doesn't tell her that he's paying "rent" to the chief of police (it's way less than he should be but it's all Hop would take).

He doesn't tell Robin a lot of things.

Then sometime after Robin finally warmed up to him but before Dustin comes back from camp, Eddie Munson walks into Scoops Ahoy, his metalhead nerdy entourage in tow. He orders a plain scoop of vanilla with sprinkles in a cup and one of the others also orders something small and simple (while longingly eyeing their diabetes-inducing, horribly artificial tasting, bubblegum flavor when Munson turns away) before all of them are squeezing into one of the largest booths, emptying out messenger bags and backpacks of overstuffed binders and scuffed up versions of very familiar looking textbooks. It's like looking at an older -slightly grungier- version of his kids.

"Gentlemen, now that 🎶school's out for summer🎶-" There's a musical lilt as he says it that sounds vaguely familiar to Steve, "-and it has been confirmed that I will in fact be held captive for yet another stint in the hell they call Hawkins High School it is time we confer and conspire for the next year of Hellfire and the little sheep that will be joining our flock." He kinda loses track of it after that because then his kids are rushing in demanding tasters of everything and edging towards the lifting part of the counter with a look in their eyes that speaks of mischief. He puts up the initial fuss about them only visiting him for his backrooms access and that they promised to only come over when there were no customers around. He lets them through anyway.

He notices Munson eyeing him as he puts the partition back in place shaking his head and Robin laughing at him as she washed their ice cream scoops. The one that's vaguely more familiar looking than the rest and reminds him of a taller, angrier, Dustin with a better hair regimen isn't quite glaring at him but is definitely paying more attention than the rest of Munson's posse and seems more suspicious than Eddie's curious.

The metalheads are still there when Billy shows up stinking of chlorine in clothes that are damp where they cling to his frame. The group loosens up a little when he shoots Steve his signature smug smirk as he shrugs on his denim jacket that -like Steve's own jacket hanging out of sight in the staffroom- had begun accumulating patches and pins since Neil's incarceration. Unlike Steve's, Billy's has homages to bands like Mötley Crue, Deff Leppard, Twisted Sister and Guns N' Roses with little trails of shakily embroidered flowers and constellations on the collar and hems and filling the spaces between the patches and pins. Billy also has a small pink triangle on the lapel where Steve has a rainbow. Steve pretends not to notice the way the group goes a little quiet as Billy starts his usual routine of sunnily demanding tasters of all the available flavors and then again with sprinkles to "-really get an idea of their ✨nuance✨, prettyboy" before deciding on a scoop of double chocolate with a scoop of raspberry vanilla in a cup with sprinkles and one of their fresh waffle cones on top. Like always.

"Really branching out there aren't ya, tough guy?" Steve keeps his face as stoney as possible but he can't help the humored edge to his voice.

Billy just winks at him running his tongue over his teeth as he gives Steve an exaggerated leer, "Gotta keep you on your toes, handsome." Robin fake gags and Steve laughs and Eddie Munson turns red as he stares at the two joking jocks. Billy goes quiet as he stares at his ice cream and Steve recognizes the look on his face, tells the blonde to go sit down in their usual booth and he'd be taking his break soon and they can talk about whatever's bothering him.

What's bothering him is Neill getting parole for 'good behavior', Jim only telling the Mayfield-Hargroves almost a week after he was let out because that was actually the same day he himself found out. Billy found out just before a summer basketball practice session and thinks he snapped at an underclassmen he's been trying to get to open up about what Billy is 90% certain is going on in the kid's home, but he knows that cops can't do much if the victim(s) refuse to trust in those trying to help them. He's worried about the kid he snapped at. Worried about Susan and Max. Worried that even with the restraining order Neill will try something. Billy tells Steve he had thought he saw Neill around the outskirts of town during errands or during his turn to haul the kids around a couple of times before Hop told them and now he's sure it wasn't just paranoia. Steve tells him they'll figure it out, reminds him he's not alone in this

That makes Billy smile, small and tired but real and grateful. His shoulders are still tense and there's still a wariness in the smallest crease between his eyebrows that makes Steve ask if there's anything else. They talk about some of the weird dreams Billy's been having that makes Steve encourage him to talk to El. Just to make sure Billy isn't going through what happened to Will the last alternate-dimension-go-around.

They make plans to head out to see the two Hoppers after Steve's shift. Come up with a basic timeline of when and where Billy thinks he saw Neil so they have something to start with for Hop. Put together an idea of how involved Billy wants to be in whatever plan Hop comes up with. They're interrupted by a group of girls swanning into the shop and Steve being yelled at by Robin to get himself back to work. As he gets up from the table Steve levels Billy with a look that makes the blond think about the way Max and the kids described Steve when they talked about how he fought off the pack of demodogs in the junkyard, planting himself between them and snarling snapping danger like Galahad himself.

Steve looks him in the eyes and says "I swear Billy, we're going to get through this, we'll take care of it and keep you and the girls safe. Hop knows what's going on and even Callahan can't get away with letting that piece of shit fall through the cracks after what he pulled." He leans in close and bites out probably louder than he should for the amount of people in the shop, "And if that fucker gets near any of you I've got Darling in Baby's trunk and I am not afraid to use her on a human shaped monster instead."

Author's (rambler's) Notes:

So, that's all I have for season 3 rn I am so sorry. 😭 I'm working on the next bit but I am so burnt out recently and now I'm unemployed cause of the ceiling at my job caving in which does not help the stress. So I unfortunately do not have a timeframe for you. 🥲 A couple of folks asked to be tagged so... Here you are? To be fair I'm not making any promises in regards to the taglist in the future, I will do my damnedest and y'all will have to bear with me.

I'm glad people are liking this and tbh this has gotten more attention than I expected so thanks? I appreciate the appreciation of my ramblings. Feel free to scream at/with me about this au in my asks box and I'll respond when/as I can. I'm just glad people are enjoying this. 🙃

@heartsong18

@knightofthieves

[nyahkmenrah]

Uh oh! I have an alter who’s skin doesn’t match the body!

An analysis??? Rant??? From a fictive of an ancient Egyptian. This will be long, so more under the cut.

TLDR: these things just happen sometimes, but don’t be racist.

I feel like this debate has mostly been settled nowadays, but occasionally I just see a take so bad I need to,,, ramble about it.

So we’re all aware that you don’t always have control over who you split as correct? The same fact goes for what the alter will end up looking like. So no one is going around deliberately splitting alters of varying races just for funsies. Any good, responsible system will abide by the one golden rule that fixes the entire ‘issue’

Bodies appearance/conditions = the privileges you do and don’t have.

No, you can’t say slurs because one of your alters is from a group that technically could. Because they’re fronting in a body that gives (or takes away) certain privileges. I front in an Australian-Italian body, we’re pale as hell with thick, dark Italian hair, blue eyes, are trans masc and pass for able bodied (unfortunately for us, all our ailments are invisible ones). So I absolutely cannot be going around claiming to have experienced the discrimination a modern day Egyptian has faced (I’m also literally ancient, I have no idea what a modern day Egyptians life looks like. I’m pyramids years old). I can however, tell you about the shit you have to endure living as a trans person, or what an Italian living outside Italy childhood is like.

If the body is for example, Asian and able bodied, then you have the privileges/lack there of, of an able bodied Asian.

If the body is a trans European, you have the privileges/lack there of, of a a trans European.

If the body is black and disabled, then you have the privileges/lack there of, of a black disabled person.

No matter what the individual alters look like, are based on, have exomemories of, it all comes down to the body you’re fronting in. Use your brain and understand what rights you do or don’t have in the body you’re fronting in and act accordingly. It’s part is system accountability.

Next part: why would someone split an alter who is a different race/ethnicity from the body? I’ll give you a few reasons! But believe me, there’s more than these.

1. They’re an introject, like me! If you’re gravitating towed a particular character/person and end up splitting them, then whatever that character/person happens to be will end up how they appear in sys (although sometimes introject can form in a non canon way). 7ish year old Astro didn’t just go “I’m going to split the pharaoh” it kind of just happened, and now I’m here. Ahkmenrah, the ancient Egyptian, is now hanging out in a body decent from the Romans, rather ironic.

2. The people around you. If you have people from different backgrounds around you, your brain is going to remember that. And when it splits an alter, it may take the information it’s stored away if all those people around you and use it. If your best friend is Hawaiian, you could definitely split a Hawaiian alter because your brain has all these details and images of what a Hawaiian looks like from seeing your friend and their family all the time.

3. Learning. If you’re learning about a certain culture/civilisation school, or maybe you’ve moved to a new place, the same kind of information storage thing can happen. You’ve learnt all this information about the culture/civilisation, it’s sitting there in your brain and when you split, that information gets used in the split.

It is my no means bad to not match the body. These things just happen, you can’t really control it. As long as you’re using common sense and not saying slurs/ culturally appropriating/ speaking over POC your body is not a part of, there’s absolutely no issue.

Some people just don’t understand plurality, and want to be seen as being on the right side of history by trying to stand up against racism/cultural appropriation etc. and while I get where they’re coming from, plurality is a whole ballpark involving complex psychology and brain stuff that makes the situation very different than wearing something you shouldn’t be.

Your existence in your body even if it doesn’t match is perfectly fine. Your name is perfectly fine. You are perfectly fine. Don’t let people on the internet tell you otherwise.

[choicesmc]

tell me about rin's backstory pls

ALRIGHT

this took me a while because I wanted to get it just right

Starla Day nee Bishop (Rin's mom) was married to an active duty military officer who was deployed elsewhere. Around a year into their marriage, Starla had a boyfriend that her husband knew nothing about and within the next two years Starla was pregnant with Rin. And since her husband wasn’t around, it was pretty easy to hide her pregnancy from Jackson Day. However, pretty quickly Starla ran into a teeensy problem. Hospital bills were far harder to hide as the pregnancy progressed and a birth certificate would blow this secret wide open. So, what does she do to avoid these? 

Easy. 

Avoid hospitals and do a home birth. (With a hired midwife paid in cash only.)

Needless to say, Starla did not elect to get Rin a birth certificate D: which. which. was a Not Good Idea. (minor sidenote: Rin isn’t Rin’s name, her birth name was Renee Day)

No birth certificate = no formal schooling of any sort so Rin is homeschooled instead. Under someone more responsible, this wouldn’t be a bad choice but I hope I’ve established that Starla is anything but responsible. 

(sidenote rn: Starla as a mother was incredibly inconsistent. Sometimes she adored Rin and absolutely showered her in praise and adoration + sometimes she hated Rin so much she’d ignore and punish her harshly. <- terrible inconsistencies led to Rin developing an incredible attachment to Starla + always trying to ‘stay on her good side’ <- you woulda called her a mama’s girl if you saw her then.) 

Well, this scheme actually works right until Jackson comes home a little earlier than he should be and finds a four year old in his house and his wife shagging up with a stranger in the room next door. 

Starla + Rin + Mother’s Partner get kicked out with Starla + Rin making their way to Starla’s mother’s home. The divorce begins only a few weeks later. 

This is a terrible time for everyone involved!! Starla + her mother, Sherryl, had a horrible relationship. Starla got married straight out of high school in order to leave home + the only reason she’s back is that she has no where else she can go. 

Sherryl is overly critical + jumps straight to the jugular from day one. She doesn’t want Starla home. She didn’t even know Starla hadn’t gotten married until her prodigal daughter showed up on her doorstep six years after running away with a child in tow and a smirk so mean + smug it made Starla see red. 

During this time, Rin continued to be homeschooled. It got a little better though, maybe. Her mother’s inconsistency had melted into pure negligence tinged with a little hatred. But her grandmother did make sure she had a better curriculum now. Rin learnt to read, write, and do basic math during the five years she lived with her grandma. 

 After five years, Starla decided she couldn’t do it with her mother anymore and took Rin with her. They were officially homeless and without Sherryl to distract her mother’s anger, Rin ended up being the usual recipient of Starla’s anger. (<- has the scars to prove it + probably emotional baggage too…) 

And things were just like this, for a couple years (~2/3) until the homeless camp she was staying in was raided, her mom bolted, and Rin finds herself arrested. <- The trouble comes when they’re trying to book her but can’t find any identification in the state system. 

After combing through the state records with all the details they could get (<- Rin isn’t sure how old she is sho she can’t give them a year she was born so they have to make do with a rough time frame utilizing medical personnel advice…) and still not turning anything up, the police figure Rin’s just undocumented and toss her over to immigration court to figure it out.

Now. In US Immigration Court, you are not guaranteed the right to an attorney (<- only applies to criminal law) so 13 year old Rin is on her own in pleading for a right to stay in the US against an experienced lawyer. 

Rin doesn’t know wtf a citizenship is. Immigration law is second only to tax law in complexity. Rin, metaphorically speaking, is fuuuucked. With a capital F. 

As luck would have it, (she’s owed a little bit, okay?) Rin’s case is handed off to an immigration law clinic + she gets two good lawyers. Awesome. Perfect even. 

Long story short, Rin goes from facing deportation to who knows where to having a SIJ (special immigrant juvenile) Status and simply waiting for a spot to open for her. It only takes a couple years back and forth… to get approved and now she gets to wait five, ten? Years until the status is actually conferred to her. 

(under the banner is a more technical explanation) 

Starting off, Rin’s lack of birth certificate was key. The very first thing anyone would do is attempt to find it. Because if they do then the rest of this is unnecessary. Rin, by birth, is a US citizen. 

But Rin is thirteen and doesn’t have her birth certificate + isn’t sure it actually exists. So they try to find her mother to no avail before changing directions and trying to get a hold of Sherryl, Rin’s grandmother, instead. 

Which is another dead end because remember earlier: 

She didn’t even know Starla hadn’t gotten married until her prodigal daughter showed up on her doorstep six years after running away with a child in tow and a smirk so mean + smug it made Starla see red.

Sherryl can’t help. And Rin never went to school. There are, quite literally, no legal records of her birth and her life up until now and the only person who can testify to her birth is her mother who no one can get a hold of. 

(minor sidenote: on the plus side, Rin gets issued a Letter of No Record stating that they can’t find any information on her so now she has a legal record… stating that she has no others 😭) 

And no one knows what to do. Rin's in a limbo.

 SIJS has a couple requirements: (this is my simplified understanding + yes, i am taking a couple liberties)

You must be under the jurisdiction of a juvenile court in whatever state you’re applying in when the application is made (for some states the age cut off is 18, for others 21). 

The applicant must have been abused, abandoned, or neglected by one or both parents. 

It is in the applicant's best interest to remain in the US. 

The applicant must be physically in the US during the filing, adjudication, and adjustment period of the application.

1 + 2 + 3 + 4 can be easily met. The problem is that SIJS is not an initial status. It's something that you change status to. So, immigration prosecution argues that without an initial status Rin is still deportable while her team argues that Rin is an extremely special case and (at minimum) should be held within the US until her mother could be found (<- rin's not a fan of this plan for various reasons that I won't elaborate here because this is getting far too long)

its hell, y'know. Rin doesn't know any other life. Doesn't even really know why she's here and by the time the systems done and spits her out --she's approx. 20/21 (<- that's ~seven years going back and forth for her now precarious position)

Rin's tired man.

[densi-mber]

Densi-mber Day 3 Prompt

A/N: It’s been exactly a year since I last wrote something but Densi-mber always awakens my creativity. I feel like the story is a little but slow at the beginning, that it needs more dialogue. I’ll try to work on that for the next one.

Thank you for another year of Densi-mber¡ And thank you for reading¡

Set on early seasons, maybe 3-4. 

***

Kensi’s day has been horrible. The morning started by missing her alarm to then realize that there was no coffee at home. Traffic was chaotic, as usual, which meant that she was later than she already was. Which also meant that Callen and Sam would mess with her all day. When Kensi arrived at the bullpen, it was too late to go to the gym; she really needed to vent off some stress from the past days, but that had to wait.

It was a slow day at OSP, as they had kind of lost the direction on the case. No one left to question, no place left to investigate. So the team focused on reviewing evidence they had been collecting for the past month, to see if there was something they missed. The mood was heavy as the case was staring to wear on them. To make it even worse, Deeks was reclaimed at LAPD at the beginning of the week.

If he was there, they could have had fun at least.

It was Kensi’ turn to buy lunch (as she was late this morning), so she spent another precious hour and a half stuck at traffic to find her favorite place closed. Another failure on her day. She hurried back to the sushi bar that was near the Mission, they ate quietly and began to work again.

But it seemed that the day was slowly getting better, as she received a message from Deeks saying that he would be back tomorrow. Kensi tried to hide the smile that the news put in her face but, fast enough, she came up with a (lame) excuse when the boys asked her. They began to tease her all over again, of course.

Once again, Thursday was trying to beat her and rain started pounding when they were leaving home. Kensi did like rain, but that meant even more traffic and that she couldn’t stop to have her favorite burger, as she would make it home too late and too exhausted to buy very much needed groceries.

When she arrived Walmart, she began collecting the necessary to make it to the weekend at least, paid and ran directly to the car, as rain was getting heavier. When she finished loading the Audi, she was soaked, hungry and tired.

The best part of her day? When she turned on the ignition the car didn’t start. Kensi groaned slowly, resting her head on the steering wheel, and starting to shiver from her wet clothes. She stared at the blurred lights from the gas station next to Walmart when her phone began ringing, it was Deeks. Kensi knew he was going to tease her for weeks, but she really needed help.

“So, Kensi the Great can fix her car? Told you Cadillac wasn’t a good choice.” He hadn’t stepped completely in her car yet, but he couldn’t wait to have the time of his life taunting her.

“The smart-ass has definitely arrived. You’re here to help or to be another problem in my day?” She missed him.

“Well, my services as a mechanic has a price.” Well, she maybe didn’t miss him that much.

“I’m not paying you, you still owe me 10 bucks from that stupid bet about the ducks and the hens.” She looked at him threatening.

“No Kensalina, you know that money has no value at all. I want to have three wishes and I want you to say that I’m the best thing that happened to you in the whole day.” The smile on his face was getting bigger with every word.

Kensi turned her face to his, a stern look in her eyes. “You’re delusional.”

“Okay, then goodnight, I hope the tow truck doesn’t take long.”

“Okay, okay, fine.” She really had no energy left.

“Okay fine, what?”

“Oh my god, you’re so…”

“Goodnight Kens¡” He began to step out of her car, slowly, he was so dramatic sometimes.

“Wait¡ You’ll have your three wishes and I admit that you’re the best thing that happened to my in the whole day. Happy?”

“Very much.”

They tried to start the car several times, checked everywhere and they concluded that the only solution was the tow truck. The car has been having some misfires lately due to an accident during their last persecution. So they finally called the insurance and they waited patiently in the car. Deeks offered to grab something to eat and let her decide whether to have pizza or burger.

“You know, you really don’t have to wait, you can go home, I’m pretty sure you’re tired.”

“You think I’m letting my partner alone, sitting in a car in the middle of the night?”

“Aw, you missed me¡” Kensi knew she started a battle she couldn’t win.

“No, you missed me. Callen told me you were sad and moping all day in the bullpen. He said that you gave up caffeine and that you were too tired to even work out. Thinking about me all night must be very exhausting.” Oh that little bastard…

“First of all, that was not what happened, and second…”

“Secondly.” Deeks received another threatening look for interrupting her.

“It’s second.”

“Secondly.” God, he loved to push her. Worst of all? She enjoyed it.

They discussed while eating, sharing their week and waiting patiently in the car. After finishing her burger, Kensi began to feel once again the cold from her wet clothes. He realized that she started to shiver. As Deeks started to take of his hoodie, she stopped him.

“Deeks, it’s okay. I’m not even that cold, I got used to it already.” She felt numb, as if the fatigue had drained all her feelings.

“Kens, you’re soaking wet, why haven’t you said anything?” He looked really concerned this time. Deeks continued taking his hoodie off and handed it to her, turning so she could take off her jacket and t-shirt comfortably.

“Better?”

“Yeah, perfect.” She looked at him with a really weird smile. Half shy, half confidential. His heart skipped a beat.

“Thank you.” It was almost a whisper.

“You don’t need to thank me.”

“This was not in you contract. To help me at any time, to buy me dinner or to give me your hoodie, that wasn’t what you’ve signed up for.” They had a better partnership than what they had at the beginning. Yet, that didn’t mean that they had to be available for each other for things like this. Her more professional part had to remind herself that statement most of the time.

“No it is not. But I do it because we’re friends. I do it because you get really cute when you’re angry. And most importantly, I do it because you would do the same for me. We’re here for each other, we’re not just partners. Or I like to think that at least.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry, I’m just not used to have someone like this.” After all, both were lonely and both new that their relationship was special. They were just not ready to admit it yet, or knew how to do it without having consequences.

They spent another night in her couch, talking for hours and laughing about how incorrect were the procedures in crime TV shows. Her day definitely got so much better.

*Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language. J

[fried-eggs152]

As much as anyone likes drama between the intimidating brothers, phineas Flynn and ferb fletcher. Let’s step back and think of Baljeet tjinder. High intelligence, and a horrible habit of overworking himself.

Baljeet was well known of phineas and ferbs reputation of fun and new adventures each day. Alongside the other two, Buford and Isabella. He was also tagging behind with their adventures.

Making sure nothing could go possibly wrong in each one just as ferb does. Sometimes though his calculation’s are not accurate from his lack of sleep. Not as accurate as ferb anways. Baljeet found himself jealous of the brother’s higher intelligence. The intelligence he worked so hard for. But it never stopped their friendship or adventure.

“What is it you wanted to tell us?” Baljeet pops the question, as the three Isabella, ferb, and himself stood in the backyard “it’s still cold can we not we do this inside?” He asks. Looking up at the forever night sky. “It wouldn’t have been any better with dad and mom in there” phineas said. He always seemed so skittish to be with his friends when his guardians were here. Baljeet nodding in defeat crossed his arms “so what’s this news that you called us..” he checks his watch “at 10 AM” he said. The sky threw him off, ever since the sun seemed to dim for an unknown reason. “Uh..yeah me and Buford has some hopefully good news!” Phineas exclaimed, he fidgeted with his hands “me and him are a thing..” he mumbled. Quietly. “What??” Baljeet leans in a little to hear phineas speak, “WE’RE LIKE GAY CATS” Buford yelled instead to spite Baljeet. “Gay cats-??” Phineas faces Buford confused “what do you mean gay cats??” Phineas asks again. Buford picked up phineas in one easy swoop “Buford!!” Phineas exclaimed still fixated why they were cats. Buford kissed phineas’s cheek “why we’re cats?” He asks as phineas crossed his arms. Embarrassed. For a good reason too “yeah..” he mumbled, “you’re chaos. An orange cat, I’m a black cat” he said. And everyone knew that was their dynamic.

“Congratulations you two!!” Isabella said enthusiastically, in awe of the relationship as she clapped her hands together, hair swaying left and right “when did you finally confess?” She asks Buford, causing him to now wanting to die. “A week ago..” he muttered. “Hah! Good for you guys” she said happily.

Ferb just simply patted phineas and Buford’s shoulders.

As Baljeet watched, heartbroken.

Liking someone who’s been by your side for years surely takes a tow on you. Especially when they’re your bully.

I tried but I am actually so tired.

It took me a little too long to make this design anyways maybe the next one will be Buford’s design. Or ferbs

Merry Christmas

Part 1 part 2 Part 3

[chrisbitchtree]

Part 3 of my little Billy featuring in Steve’s childhood dreams AU!

Part 1, Part 2

***

Steve finally gets Billy the next afternoon outside the arcade. When he pulls up, Dustin in the passengers seat, yammering on about some science fair project he’s working on with Lucas, Billy’s leaning against the Camaro, having a smoke, as Max walks away, skateboard in tow.

Dustin throws Steve a quick goodbye, slamming the car door exactly like Steve’s asked him not to a million times, running to catch up with Max. Instead of driving away like he usually does, Steve gets out and stands beside Billy, waving off the proffered cigarette. His parents are home this week, and his mom always complains when he smells too much like smoke.

“So,” Steve starts, unsure of how to continue. Even though Billy has acknowledged Steve’s dreams, and that he remembers their shared past, it still feels crazy to say it out loud. It turns out that he doesn’t need to worry about what to say next, because Billy takes over for him.

“I hadn’t thought about those beach days with my mom for years until I saw you, and then suddenly it was like I could see it all, like a movie in my mind. You looked like such a dork, your hair stuck up all over the place, blue popsicle juice dripping down your arms. Remember when we used to stick out our tongues and argue over who’s had turned bluer?”

Steve had completely forgotten that particular detail, but now he can vividly remember running to Billy’s mom and sticking out their tongues for her judgement. She’d always tell them it was a tie, leaving them to bicker about it until something more exciting happened, like a really good wave or the sand being the perfect texture for a sandcastle. “Mine was always bluer,” he says now, laughing.

Steve laughs, turning to look at Billy for the first time. He has a small, soft smile on his face, the first time Steve’s seen anything more than a smirk on his face since he’d arrived in Hawkins. It makes Steve smile too.

Billy shrugs. “No fucking clue, Harrington. I guess the world just works in mysterious ways sometimes. If you wanna think on it some more though, I’ll be at the quarry at nine. And beer always helps me think clearer.”

Steve nods, not making any promises, but making a mental note of the untouched six pack in his trunk. He glances at his watch, noting that it’s almost 5. His mom had asked him to be home for dinner. “I’ve gotta go, but we’ll see if I can get away tonight.”

Billy silently salutes him before walking around the drivers side door of his car and hopping in.

Steve gives him a short wave as he watches him drive off. He has no clue what was going on, but he hopes they’ll figure it out.

[feeblescholarmyass]

Chapter Three: Kaveh

cw: possible eating disorder tw, tw threats, reader is a casual artist, Kaveh is down bad

Sumeru Boys x GN!Reader, poly relationship, modern au, college au

masterlist | prev | next

Chat: Animals

"I've had a lot of strange interactions with local wildlife lately. Tighnari says it's because I attract trouble like pollinators to flowers, but I think it's just because animals love me. That Rishboland Tiger was purring, I swear!"

Kaveh had been sitting there for the past two hours while working on his current design when you barged in. You had disappeared into the back closet almost as soon as you had arrived, but you had still forced him out of his creative coma. He listened to your rummaging and muttering, wondering what in Teyvat you could be looking for.

"There it is," you finally gasped, pulling out a bag from behind the clutter of the supply closet. "I knew I must have left it here."

Just as you were about to leave, you paused. It seemed he had caught your eye. Or more accurately, his current aggravated looking sketch as he began to get increasingly frustrated with the uncompromising difficulty of this commission.

"What's that?" You asked, stepping closer to his side. You smelled like fresh apples and practically glittered in the light provided by the large window behind him. You bounced lightly on your feet, leaning closer to get a better look.

"Oh, just a commission. I'm trying to get the specifications the client asked for right, but it just doesn't look right for some reason. I can't figure it out."

Your fingers twitched and he noticed you attempt to reach for a pencil. "I wonder if it's the placement of this accent piece? Maybe you could shift it over a little, or find something a little taller?"

He hummed to himself, wondering exactly what you meant. "Go ahead, it's not like what I'm doing is working anyways."

You smiled and lightly sketched over his angry scribbles in neat, soft looking lines. "Like this. Maybe leaving a little more room for open space and decoration looks empty at first, but if you add something right here, then-"

"Yes!" Kaveh gasped, standing up. "How did you do that?"

"Just a fresh pair of eyes, I guess." You smiled at him, returned his pencil, then disappeared with your mystery bag in tow.

He watched you leave, feeling his cheeks grow hot and his heart race. He never noticed how beautiful your smile was before.

You held your pencil differently than he did, he had realized. You rested it on your ring finger instead of your third. You had a writer's callus right above your knuckle closest to your nail. He wondered if that provided any extra stability or if it was just a habit you had learned when you were young.

Ever since that first day in the empty art classroom, you had started to sit together in silence while working on your separate projects. He usually was making last minute changes to a design while you were either finishing an assignment or just taking a break before heading home.

You left at 4:22 sharp on every day except Mondays, where you left at 3:58. He wondered what called for the schedule change.

You also had impeccable fashion sense. He had first noticed some of your bolder outfits that seemed to be inspired by past Fontaine fashion trends, namely about ten to fifteen years ago. You played with monochromatic color schemes, or sometimes direct contrast. But no matter what, it always looked fantastic on you.

But the thing he noticed most of all was the ring you wore on a chain around your neck. It wasn't your size, but you always made sure to have it on your person, even if it didn't match what you were wearing that day.

He wondered who had given it to you, and what meaning it held.

"Yeah, and we were talking about how paint affects the way a space feels when they told me they painted their own childhood bedroom! They showed me pictures and everything. They have such an amazing sense for how to space decor and make a room look interesting! Honestly, I think they would make a great assistant in my work."

Kaveh had been going on and on about your artistic collaboration all throughout dinner with the other three boys. Occasionally Tighnari would comment about your other academic achievements, or Alhaitham would mention what you had been doodling lately during your language classes.

Cyno listened quietly most of the time, but it seemed he had chosen now as the time to chip in.

"You know, you all talk about Y/n a lot. Especially you, Kaveh. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you might like them. As in more than a friend or good assistant." He said dully, taking another bite of his meal.

The excited chatter that Kaveh had been leading suddenly stopped as all three stared at him.

"W-what?! No, no! It's just, uh, refreshing to talk with someone else who understands and appreciates art, is all!" He looked away indignantly and took a large bite of food to excuse him from explaining himself further.

Cyno hummed, glancing at him in a way that made it obvious he didn't really believe Kaveh, but was letting him off the hook. "What about you, Alhaitham? It's unusual to see you so willing to interact so often with someone you don't know well."

Alhaitham's eyes widened ever so briefly, his shock clearer than his friends were used to. "Y/n? They're in a class of mine. We sometimes aid each other with projects. It's a mutually beneficial strictly business relationship. What, are you jealous you're the only one who's life they haven't become a part of?"

Cyno huffed. "You're so annoying," he told Alhaitham. "Besides, it's inevitable that we will cross paths. One way or another, I will find out what makes this underclassman so intriguing to you all."

With that declaration, all mention of your name ceased and they continued dinner in a much less tense manner.

"I'm having trouble tying together this color scheme. What do you think, Y/n?" Kaveh asked, leaning closer to you.

You had been abnormally quiet today, and had hardly touched your pencil. Instead, you had been sitting with your head resting against your arms, observing him silently.

The way your cheek pressed up against your palm was just so precious, he was finding it difficult to remain focused on the project at hand.

"Oh, sorry. I'm just a little tired, I guess. Let me see," you apologized, sitting up to take a better look. "Oh, I see the problem. The undertones of this neutral background you're using are too blue for the other colors. It looks too stark of a contrast."

While explaining what you thought was the best way to fix this, You leaned forward so you could point towards what you were talking about. In order to reach, you had placed yourself precariously behind his arm, positioning yourself just over his shoulder.. If he were to just reach out slightly, he could wrap his arms around you and hold you close.

Which wasn't something he wanted, obviously. What a silly thing to desire. It was almost funny to imagine. Him? Longing to hold you so tenderly, or even intimately? What could possibly have made him even think that.

While he was talking himself out of grabbing your waist, you stumbled and grabbed his shoulder to steady yourself. his head was now plush against your stomach as you wobbled above him.

He cried out in surprise, reaching for your hand to help steady you. "Are you okay?!" He stood from his chair and helped you stand again.

"Y-yeah, sorry," You pressed the back of your hand to your forehead, looking a little flushed. "I got a little dizzy there for a second. I haven't had anything to eat yet today."

"What?!?" He cried, "It's practically noon!"

"Yeah, I woke up late and nearly missed my first class, and was hoping to catch up on sleep here, but it wasn't working out like I'd hoped." You waved your hand, trying to dismiss the topic.

"We are getting food! I can finish this project later, your well-being is more important!" He huffed, practically shoving you out of the classroom.

You felt butterflies twirling in your stomach as his words echoed in your mind over and over again. I am more important than him finishing a project. He thinks I'm important, you thought, hurrying to keep up with his long legs.

Somehow while you were distracted, he had laced his fingers in between yours and was squeezing your hand tightly. You glanced at your intertwined hands and smiled, squeezing back just a little.

He was thankful he was pulling you along instead of walking beside you, because if he hadn't been ahead, you would've seen the bright blush blazing across his cheeks.

So what if Cyno was right, he thought, they're a sweet kid and I can like whomever I want!

He dragged you around campus until he found Puspa Café, where he finally slowed down and let you take a break once you got to your table.

"You walk really fast," you huffed. "I was having trouble keeping up with you."

"Oh, sorry. I was just really worried about you, y'know? Not having enough nutrients to get you through the day could lead to all sorts of problems!"

You nodded, still reeling from the way his hand felt in yours. You looked down at the menu as a distraction, though reading through it proved difficult when one of the prettiest men you had ever seen was sitting across from you, slightly out of breath and twirling a strand of hair absentmindedly.

"Thank you," you said softly.

He looked up and hummed, tilting his head just slightly. He looked like a little bunny with his hair flopped over like ears and his eyes so big and bright.

"For bringing me here, I mean. And caring, too. I didn't realize you cared about me so much. You're a great friend, Kaveh." You smiled at him and he found that his hands were shaking. He was nervous.

"O-of course! You mean a lot to me, after all! It's what a good friend would do!" He chuckled, looking away nervously. If you kept smiling at him like that he might just break.

Just as the silence between you two was starting to feel awkward, a waiter arrived and took both of your orders.

You felt much better after eating. Sadly, your next class was approaching fast, so you had to say goodbye to Kaveh.

You grabbed the rest of your stuff from the art classroom and started heading back to your animal biology class, when you heard a commotion from outside the Spantamad building.

"I didn't know those parts were from the desert, honest! I got them from a vendor in Port Ormos who said they were leftovers from some experiment!" A voice murmured frantically.

"You dummy, what kind of experiment do you think would provide this strange equipment!" Another voice responded, this one sounding much more frustrated.

"I don't know! Listen, we just need to get rid of the parts before the sages find out!"

"Ha, trust me, if we get caught, the sages are the least of our worries- what was that?"

The voices hushed at the sound of your footsteps approaching. You paused, hoping they would forget about it and let you move on, but it seemed you were not in luck.

A hand grabbed you from behind, pulling you behind a wall and covering your mouth. Two frazzled looking students wearing Spantamad colors stared at you in fear.

"You're an Amurta student!" One stated accusingly. "What are you doing here? How much did you hear?"

You groaned from behind the other students hand, and he let you go after realizing he needed to let you speak.

"I was coming back from lunch and I didn't hear anything, I swear!" You shook your head, trying to wiggle out of the tight hold on your arm.

"Listen here, kid, you are going to forget this ever happened and tell no one anything that you may or may not have heard! In fact, you aren't going to tell anyone you saw us at all! That includes friends or family, got it?"

"Just let me go already! I don't care about your stupid parts, I just want to get to class!"

The first student moved to block your path, placing their hands on their hips with a stern look.

"You're a first year, aren't you? Listen here, we'll let you go if you swear not to tell a soul what you heard. You just got a little lost on the way to class, yeah?"

"Shut up and let me go, I already said I don't care!" You shoved your way out from your restraints and dashed around the other student, hurrying towards the Amurta building.

"Hey, wait!" The second student who had been holding you back called, terrified.

You glanced back to see if they were following you, but saw they both were frozen and staring ahead of you.You looked back ahead of you just as your foot caught a large rock and sent you tumbling down on the pavement.

"Shit," you cursed, pulling your stinging palms up to your knees, also burning from the fresh scrapes you had just earned yourself.

A hand reached out to you to help you up. "Are you alright?"

taglist: @em-asian @hypernovaxx @surgeonsofazeroy @xiaosimper @i-loveyou013 @strwbrysweets @ratty-rat-toot

let me know by commenting or sending an ask if you want to be added!

a/n: it's so late and I have to be awake for swim practice in 7 hours wish me luck!! also next chapter will be the last of the first four feature chapters (wink wink), after that they will have more than one or all of the boys involved for the most part!!

[monstersdownthepath]

Scourge Spotlight: Ephilates

CR 16

Lawful Evil Huge Outsider

Adventure Path: Council of Thieves: The Twice-Damned Prince, pg. 86~87

These hideous butcher-beasts are actually something of an unfortunate remnant from the time between Bestiary 1 and 3 where the entirety of the Kyton species--which would eventually become the Velstrac--consisted of exactly one creature: the Evangelist, referred to simply as “the Kyton.” When TDP came out, it would be another year and a half before the velstrac were anything other than the torture-happy sexy blue men and women who lived in the Plane of Shadow but frequently worked for Hell. It’s especially horrifically dated because the Ephilates were stated to rule the Kyton (aka Evangelist) society, which obviously is no longer true.

The Ephilates looks so horrifyingly unlike any other velstrac specifically because it was presented as something of an evolved version of the Evangelist, the result of an Evangelist becoming so saturated with violent, corruptive evil (specifically by way of damning 999 souls, one way or another) that their bodies simply cannot contain it and they require a special ritual to be performed on them in order to give them a shape capable of handling it. They are twisted and mutated by this ritual into something so utterly unlike any other velstrac that I hesitate to even call these creatures canon anymore, but for the sake of completion and my love of obscure beasties, I must. I will do my best to blend their existing lore into the current velstrac lore as it’s known, which is admittedly fairly simple, as the Ephilates are already the tireless hunters and retrievers of the damned.

Sometimes, velstrac need victims, but their usual tactics just aren’t cutting it. When subtlety and coercion do not work, when temptation and falsehoods fail, there is always brute force. The Ephilates are that brute force, the battering rams that smash in castle walls to drag victims screaming into the shadows, to rip open homes and kidnap victims for their masters’ experiments, and to retrieve the runaways and escapees, tracking their quarry with their 1/day Discern Location. They are the velstrac equivalent of dragons, being mountains of HP and AC with a flurry of natural attacks: a bite (2d6+8), two claws (1d8+8), a swat with its tail (1d8+4), and finally two whipping chains (2d8+8). They also have the Evangelist’s Dancing Chains, able to animate any chains within 30ft of them to let them make up to four chain attacks each round... but their chains are significantly more dangerous than their lesser kin’s, because whether it’s the two chain attacks they have normally, or any of the four attacks from their Dancing Chains, being hit by two consecutive chains in one round Rends the victim for 2d8+12 additional damage.

They also, like dragons, project a Frightful Presence, and even have a Breath Weapon that’s an important part of their kit! This 50ft cone of hooked chains fires out of their many maws, thankfully only targeting up to six creatures within the area instead of the whole thing. It’s not much mercy to anyone who fails the DC 27 Reflex save, as such victims take 2d8+8 damage and get grabbed by the chains. If that damage (and the damage from their natural attacks) seems low, there’s a reason for it: The Ephilates wants its victims alive. Any creature that fails to escape the chain before the velstrac’s next turn is pulled 10ft closer to it, and any creature that begins its turn grappled and adjacent to it can be subjected to its Entrapping Chains, pinned directly to the horror’s bulk. Once it has its subjects in tow--either because they’re knocked out and in its grip, or bound to its surface by Entrapping Chains--the Ephilates can use its 3/day Shadow Walk to abscond with its quarry, which will likely never be seen sane again.

Think you can stop it from skittering away? Not when it has Deeper Darkness at 3/day to make its own escape route, you can’t. Think you can get away from it? Not when it has Dimensional Anchor at-will, you can’t. It also does a wonderful job at shutting down spellcasters, able to use Silence 3/day; with no need to speak and no powers that rely on sound, it can slap the bubble on itself and either shamble forward or drag enemies closer. There is also the startling surprise of it having Silence applied already and using it in tandem with its +15 Stealth modifier to get the drop on the party, something a giant jangling dragon-shaped beast would never otherwise be able to do.

You can read more about them here.