#in this house we don't fuck around with ai art

[lastoneout]

It's also like super fucking infuriating to see people continue to argue that generative AI is the best way for disabled and/or poor people to make art because like, you know what helps make art more accessible? Giving poor and disabled people money.

Like take me for instance, I'm disabled. I get severe migraines and intense leg/back pain if I sit at my computer for too long, my hEDS makes holding pens and pencils hard, my ADHD makes it hard for me to start certain tasks and/or stop them before I potentially hurt myself, my neck also hurts if I look down too much, my dyslexia AND my ADHD both make it difficult to keep track of a story as I write and use correct spelling and grammar, plus, I need to prioritize taking care of myself and going to appointments and keeping my house clean and that takes up a lot of my free time. All of these things make creating the kind of art I want to create difficult if not occasionally impossible.

So what do you think would solve my problems better? Giving me money so that I can have a drawing tablet and desk chair that won't hurt my neck or back, another tablet + pen and a lap table and comfortable body pillows for drawing in bed, easier transportation to my doctors appointments, effective treatment for my chronic pain and migraines, the ability hire someone to help me keep my house clean, a spelling/grammar checker that isn't complete ass, and a therapist and psychatrist who can help me manage my ADHD better?

Or an AI program that takes my input and spits out a drawing or story made of stolen content glued together that, in the case of the art, I cannot meaningfully edit without starting over, which also destroys the environment in the process?

Seems pretty obvious to me. I don't need AI, I need help to manage the things that are actually stopping me from being able to write and draw.

Or take my mom. She's had severe rhumatoid arthritis since she was a small child, her hands are deformed and she relies on her wheelchair to get around. She doesn't need AI to help her paint, she needs special paint brushes she can actually hold, a table her wheelchair will fit at, and someone to help her with personal hygiene/keep her house clean/take her to doctors appointments so she actually has free time to paint.

Does that poor kid growing up in public housing with parents who are too poor to afford art classes or supplies or to send them to college really need a computer program to draw for them, or do they need support to help them take those classes, buy drawing supplies, and money so they can go to college.

Blind people can paint, deaf musicians exist, people with missing limbs find all sorts of ways to make art, people with parkinson's paint with typewriters, my mother can't hold a normal paintbrush and she makes some of the most beautiful watercolor paintings I've ever seen, Van Gogh had bipolar disorder and only sold like one painting when he was alive, I mean for real how many different artists have you heard of who's biographies start with them being born into poverty?

This is not meant to be inspiration porn, these people are just ones who were able to find ways to make art despite their struggles. They shouldn't have had to struggle at all, but god imagine how many more artisrs and writers we could have had if none of them had to overcome those struggles. It breaks my heart to think of all the wonderful art that never got to exist because no one helped the people who could have made it actually have the time, money, support, and safety they needed to make it. AI would not have saved them because making art isn't the problem, being disadvantaged is the problem. Living in a world that refuses to make room for you is the problem. Being fucking poor is the problem. Humans have always found ways to make art despite huge barriers, the solution isn't a computer that makes art for them, it's SUPPORT AND MONEY SO THEY CAN OVERCOME THOSE BARRIERS AND MAKE THEIR OWN ART.

As a last example: I love watching dancing and I would love to be able to dance, but I'm terrible at it(I got kicked off a dance team for not being able to learn the dance at all despite spending weeks on it, idk my brain wasn't made for dancing) and my disabled body makes it more pain than pleasure if not actively dangerous, anyway. Having a robot dressed to look like me dance next to me while I get to watch would not make me feel like I'm getting to dance. It would actually be extremely fucking demoralizing and frustrating. I would hate that!!

Having an AI spit out a painting or book would not make me feel like I got to paint or write a book. It's a fucking anamatronic doll running on stolen ideas and it will never be the same as getting to actually expirience the joy of creating art first hand. AI is not the solution. Helping people who need it is the solution. And I am CONSTANTLY pissed to think about all the time and money that goes into these fucking AI programs that would be better spent helping disabled and poor people get the help they need so they can make art themselves, all while the people running the nightmare plagiarism pollution machines pretend that their horrible inventions exist to help people like me.

[genericpuff]

Webtoons Is Making Moves - So Should You.

We all saw it coming ages ago and now it's finally here. There's no more beating around the bush or doubting if anyone is "reading into it too much", Webtoons' use of AI in its more recent webtoons is not an accident, not an oversight, but by design, it always has been. And I guaran-fucking-tee you that the work that already exists on the platform won't be safe from Webtoons' upcoming AI integration through scraping and data mining. Sure, they can say they're not gonna replace human creators, but that doesn't change the fact that AI tools, in their current form, can't feasibly exist without stealing from pre-existing content.

Plus, as someone who's tested their AI coloring tools specifically... they're a long, LONG way away from actually being useful. Like, good luck using them for any comic style that isn't Korean manwha featuring predominantly white characters with small heads and comically long legs. And if they do manage to get their AI tools to incorporate more art styles and wider ranges of character identities... again, what do you think it's been trained on?

Also, as an added bit that I found very funny:

Um, I'm sorry, what fucking year is it? Because platforms like WT and Tapas have both been saying this for years but we're obviously seeing them backpedal on that now with the implementation of in-house publishing programs like Unscrolled which have reinvented the wheel of taking digital webtoons and going gasp physical! It's almost like the platform has learned that there's no sustainable profit to be had in digital comics alone without the help of supplementary streams of income and is now trying to act like they've invented physical book publishing!

"The future of comic publishing, including manga, will be digital"??? My brother in christ, Shonen Jump has been exclusively digital since 2012! What rock have the WT's staff been living under that they're trying to sell digital comics as the "future" to North Americans as if we haven't already been living in that future for over ten years now?? We've had an entire generation of children raised on that same digital media since then! This isn't the selling point you think it is LMAO If anything, the digital media market here in NA is dying thanks to the enshittification of digital content platorms like Netflix, Disney+, and mainstream social media platforms! That "future" is not only already both the past and present, but is swiftly on its way out! Pack it up and go home, you missed the bus!

Literally so much of WT's IPO pitch is just a deadass grift full of corporate buzzwords and empty promises. They're trying so hard to convince people that their business model is infinitely profitable... but if it were, why do they need the public's money? And where are all those profits for the creators who are being exploited day after day to fill their platform with content? Why are so many creators still struggling to pay their bills if the company has this much potential for profit?

Ultimately even their promised AI tools don't ensure profit, they ensure cutting expenses. The extra money they hope to make isn't gonna come from their content generating income, it's gonna come from normal people forking over their money in the hopes that it'll be turned around, and from Webtoons cheapening the medium even further until it's nothing but conveyer belt gruel. Sure, "making more than you spend" is the base definition of "profit", but can we really call it that when it's through the means of gutting features, retiring support programs, letting go editing staff, and limiting resources for their own hired freelancers who are the only reason they even have content to begin with? That's not sustainable profit or growth, that's fighting the tide which can and will carry them away at any moment.

I'm low key calling it now, a year or two from today we're gonna be seeing massive lawsuits and calls to action from the people who invested their money into WT and subsequently lost it into the black hole that is WT's "business model". This is a company that's been operating in the red for years, what about becoming an IPO is gonna make them "profitable"? Let alone profitable enough to pay back their investors in the spades they're expecting? The platform and its app are already shit and they're about to become even worse, we are literally watching this company circle the drain in the modern day's ever-ongoing race to the bottom, enshittification in motion, but they're trying to convince us all the same that they're "innovating".

Webtoons doesn't want to invest in its creators. We as creators need to stop investing in them.

[autumn-foxfire]

Wearing my Van Gogh sunflowers pajamas to watch movie 19: the hellfire sunflowers! What's not to love about this film, Art and KID.

Kaito spotted!

The amount of money the rich have disgusts me. I like Jirokichi but I know that this is really how the rich spend their money while the rest of the world suffers.

To be able to make Kamen Yaiba out of a watermelon is impressive.

Ai calling out Shinichi for his interest in art more than the professors invention (I don't blame him), I love thier friendship.

Sonoko has said she's not really interested in taking on the family name but she would be good at the job. It's no wonder that Jirokichi chose her to accompany him to make this announcement.

Shinichi is so close to the screen T-T The boys is obssessed. I don't blame him though.

Shinichi is so goddamn dramatic. "I only saw that for a moment but was that really my husband?" as the camera spins around him. If that was Kaito than DAAAMN. We don't appreciate his mad skills enough.

And he's slipped into his favourite disguise, his husband.

I love women looking out for other women. We vibe.

Ran's outfit is very cute for a change.

Kaito seeing Sonoko on the phone: Well, that's my cue to leave.

Shinichi you know your husband wouldn't put people in danger like that. Shame on you!

Kaito: The things I do for art (and my assistant).

The should be thanking Kaito, really, he just saved that piece of art.

SONOKO CALLING OUT TO RAN T-T SHE LOVES HER SO MUCH. She doesn't know if they'll survive and her last thoughts are for her closest friend. Fuck I adore that.

Shinichi after avoiding being hit by an airplane: I think my life just flashed before my eyes.

I love how the Shinichi's priorities are KID while Ran's are her friends.

Ran really thought you just fucking DIED Shinichi. And Shinichi is too busy with Kaito T-T I hurt for her but also I just want to scream about how when Kaito is in the picture, he has Shinichi's complete attention like a man possessed.

Round two with the Iron Tanuki.

The one thing the movies do that is close to canon is having Shinichi show so little care for Ran's feelings and I wish they wouldn't. Can he not be such an awful friend to her.

Sonoko and Kaito need to be come friends. Kaito deserves a friend like her who will defend him to the death.

Shinichi is also aware there is something off about what's happening with KID and wants to discover the mystery his husband is leaving for him.

Come on kids T-T Look at the other pieces of art! It's not often you get to see such amazing pieces.

I know this old women is important to the plot but can we not imply romance just from two people who trust one another greatly. I adore Shinichi and Ai's relationship because they're partners in crime and have promised to watch each other's backs.

Be careful of this transport service, the last one borrowed Scream for a picture in his house.

Kogoro: Stop making noise!

Shinichi: I'm literally fucking helping you useless drunk.

Shinichi is so confused about what's going on T-T Poor guy's like "this isn't like my husband..."

Of course the American is like "I need a gun".

Well, at least Charlie is acknowledging that Shinichi is useful and is helping him look at the screens.

And he was right because only Shinichi would notice something so small.

Kaito is like: I'm going to redistribute all this wealth!

Well done king. I hope people managed to grab a few of the bills.

I don't think this is how Jirokichi wants to be remembered XD

When you can't extort a ticket from Agasa, go to the ones running the competition XD

The children should be grateful Shinichi is so obsessed with Kaito as they only got the tickets because he's useful to Jirokichi.

Shinichi: Kill my husband and I will make you regret it

Ah, that's Jii.

At least Kaito is playing the role of Shinichi very well, avoiding his love interest to the best of his ability.

Thank you Ai for being a responsible guardian for the children. I don't know why you were the only one made to do so. I know why Ran has gone with Shinichi and Sonoko, but she should have stayed behind to look after them to ensure their safety.

Shinichi has finally figured out why his husband is being weird. It took him the whole movie

I was going to say this movie lacked murder. Nevermind, though it's never shown on screen. Well, it's not much of a murder but more self-defence even if the brother never meant to kill him, he was still using a gun.

KAITO MY BABY T-T

Kaito: SHINICHI TELL ME YOU'RE NOT!

Shinichi: I am! (Kicks debris at the painting)

And they have Ran's incredibly strength to free it.

He's jealous that he's not the one hugging Kaito :p

Awww, Kaito really was relying on Shinichi to figure it out. It's no wonder the next movie has them properly team up.

Stop flirting with one another! Your lives are in danger!

Shinichi stop taking credit for Kaito's work. He saved the sunflowers. Well he and Ran.

Shinichi is just calling out this woman's bullshit. This is what happens when people believe they're better than mutlple experts (cough what happened with Covid).

Kaito: GODDAMNIT IT SHINICHI!

And there's the necessary forced Ran and Shinichi romance. At least it happened between her and KID so it was more like filling the quota.

Kaito: Please say you made it out, Shinichi.

KAITO ABOUT TO REVEAL HIMSELF DESPITE THE DANGER HE'S IN HIMSELF BECAUSE HE'S CONCERNED FOR SHINICHI T-T

What would have made this movie better if Kaito did just rush out of the trees and into the water to save Shinichi. He's done it before.

Movie Kogoro is being a decent and caring guardian. You only see it rarely.

I just want to appreciate how good he looks.

LMAO KAITO STOLE AGASA'S TICKET. I THOUGHT HE JUST TOOK THE ONE SONOKO GOT FOR SHINICHI.

[joezcafe]

Gotta be 1000% real but the vocalsynth fandom (especially the Regina George-ass chuds over at Vocatwt) are fucking abysmal at communicating with people outside of their fandom to discuss contentious topics rationally.

We're doing what we can to try and demonstrate that our medium uses AI, but that we don't associate ourselves with the likes of AI-art techbros because our art form still centers around consent and manual input/creation.

We also have to go through all this because our medium is fundamentally niche and requires a bit of explanation for those outside of our circles to understand where we're coming from (Seriously try explaining Synthesizer V to a voice actor without having to put a million different enthical qualifiers down).

All that said, when there are voice actors understandably having concerns about AI on a fundamental basis, including AI banks made with consent, why is it that instead of explaining our values and motivations to them in a level headed manner are we instead spamming them with harrassment and shit like "Bestie is afraid of Hatsune Miku"?

like y'all are so exponentially stupid.

I'm part of this overall community because it's an art form I have immense passion and appreciation for, but it's so hard to maintain that association when we're acting like mean girl incels who have never left their fucking house or spoken to another human being.

Be better, our silly little hobby is at immense, real and DEMONSTRATED risk of stepping on people's toes and they are the VICTIMS who are fighting for their livelihoods, and not everyone is on the same page as you are, I assure you an anime VA with a home studio is not going to always understand who the fuck Kevin and Solaria are so you don't need to be a dick about it when they're curious or defensive about their future career opportunities.

We have a responsibility whether we like it or not, grow the fuck up.

[luciluck2046]

TW: VENT

It's about the future and stuff...

Why is our future so fucked up

I'm serious

Why did they take away our future!?

It's awful

Our future is awful

We aren't going to have jobs

The AI will have it

Since almost no one wants to pay people. They just want money

And the AI will give them money without taking it.

So how am I going to have a promising future?

Where are my dreams of being a comic artist?

If no one has money, being an artist is useless.

Or think about it

AI will do the art

A lot of people believe that it's gonna be fine, the ai will never get that good at art but...

It's not about the quality. It's about the fact that more people would rather go to an AI to draw them stuff than to pay an artist.

I'm saying this knowing damn well that my dad is one of those people and that literally only artists respect other artists and their work. And not even all the artists do that.

So our future is fucked.

Very fucked.

"try to have a little hope-" NO, I'M DONE WITH HOPE. "HOPE DIES LAST" WELL IT'S FUCKING DEAD. Hope does nothing. I want to see YOU hope that you get a good grade at a test you did everything wrong. If we all just hope and no one actually does something it's literally the same as if we don't hope.

"everything is gonna be fine, don't worry!" HOW CAN I NOT WORRY, TELL ME!?!? IT'S MY, EVERYONE'S FUTURE I'M TALKING ABOUT. CAN'T YOU FUCKING SEE IT?

"you're overreacting blah blah blah" I'm not. I've always been better at seeing where things go from little clues. That's why I'm always searching for movies with BIG twists. Nothing is interesting when you know where it's going.

And I see where the stuff with the AI is going.

If we don't do something, we're good as done.

You know?

But let's imagine we actually DO something about the AI.

"yay everything is good" no.

You're living in lies if you think that's where it's stopped.

Fun fact! WE LITERALLY HAVE ONLY UNTIL 2030 TO UNFUCK OUR CLIMATE CHANGE PROBLEM.

Dumbasses.

Idiots

They all want MONEY

So they will do ANYTHING for it

Even destroy our PLANET

Can't you see it?

WHY CAN'T THE PEOPLE SEE IT!?!?

I want a future.

Some might not but...

I want one

I want a future where I feel safe.

The problem is that in this PRESENT I don't feel safe. Even in my own house. I can't even call it "home", considering the fact that "home" is a place where I feel safe.

I DON'T HAVE A HOME

I do have a house. Where I sleep, eat, do anything. Not a home.

I don't feel home

I want home

I WANT HOME

BUT I'M NOT, AND I WON'T

I JUST WANT HOME.

I want fucking home.

...

...

...

I just want home...

Can I go home..?

where is it...

Where is my safe place...

When did I lose it?

Why are so many idiots around the planet...

Why are we destroying the future..?

Why ...

JUST WHY CAN'T I FEEL SAFE A SINGLE SECOND OF MY LIFE!?!?

Why can't I feel safe...

Why can't I go home...

I want home

I want home

I want HOME

I JUST WANT HOME

I. Want. Home.

I want...

I...

...

Where is home...

Why do I keep going?

There's no reason to keep going

But I do it

For some reason

I don't want to die

Even though it would be so much easier...

I don't.

I just keep on living.

In this fucked up city

From this fucked up country

ON THIS FUCKED UP PLANET.

..

...

..........

I want home...

[cy-cyborg]

So, you're old, (no hate but it's true) so that must mean you were on the internet during the AOL days. Which websites are good to post fanfics too? I realise not everyone uses FFN, so should I also upload them to Tumblr? DA? Facebook? How did you start your internet career? Ao3 needs an invite >>

Lmao I'm not even 30 yet, damn 😂 (no offence taken btw, I did get a good laugh from that start to the question though)

While I was technically around then, my home town was a good 10-15yrs behind the rest of the world in regards to the internet, so we didn't get reliable/constant internet access at my house until I was in high school so I missed a lot of that era - and even when we did get it, it was expensive, so my sister and I were only allowed to use it occasionally.

I got my start on Deviantart, but I'm not sure if I can still recommend it - they got bought out a few years ago and have been... not great, ever since. The brought in a lot of changes which drove away pretty much all of the userbase outside of scammers, crypto-bros and AI "artists". I don't know how good they are for writers now but I can't imagine they're much better. I still log on and post occasionally but unless you have nostalgia for DeviantArt, I don't think it's worth it, not for new users. Inkblot might be a good alternative though - they specialise in art but do allow you to upload written works too! I never had any luck there but I know a few others who have, so it's worth checking out.

I'd also recommend against Facebook. I know there are writing communities there, but most of the ones I found were a much older demographic - the few that weren't were not exactly welcoming to anyone who wasn't a straight/cis, white, able-bodoed man. I also know facebook has policies that allow them to use your content without permission - probably not something you need to worry about for fanfiction since it's usually based on existing work but still worth being aware of.

I haven't done this myself, but my partner used to post fan fiction to Reddit for a bit and had some luck there - you just have to find the right subreddits for the fandom you want to create for. some are more active than others, but I know there's a fairly active community there if you know where to look. They can be pretty brutal though, so be prepared.

Honestly, outside of AO3, Tumblr and FFN seem to be the two big platforms today for fan fiction and related content. I'm pretty out of the loop though, I haven't been heavily involved in fandom communities in years so take all this with a grain of salt (if anyone has better advice please feel free to leave it). Honestly, since leaving Deviantart I've jumped around between a lot of different platforms, basically just throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what stuck lol. Tumblr, Mastodon and Tik Tok were the three where I got the most traction for my stuff, but Tumblr is the only one where my fandom-related stuff consistently gets any sort of traction.

Also is the Ao3 invite a new thing? I could have sworn I had an account but don't remeber getting an invite lol. Maybe I'm thinking of something else.... fuck I do sound old lmao

[icemankazansky]

hello i'm obsessed "you're a brat in every room of this house" please, WHERE IS THAT LINE FROM?

hahaha me too lbh

SO. Back in the olden days before we realized AI was being weaponized against artists and instead was mostly a bunch of people doing research and/or just fucking around, some of my TG squadron was using the Eleuther AI* to ... you know, fuck around. But with Top Gun. At this point, everything this AI generated was just ridiculous and hilarious. For an example, check out @topgunreacts story The Magic Trick.

I'm a fan of experimentation in art, and I grew up in the age when round robin fanfiction was a think people did on the reg, so I experimented with using the AI as a kind of call and response thing to generate ideas and see where they took me. Like this exercise we used to do in art class, where the teacher would give everyone a paper with a little tiny piece of a shape, and everyone had to draw the rest of the picture. I wrote Keep Me Up All Night that way, just as a personal challenge.

One night, the Eleuther AI gave me the best gift I ever expect artificial intelligence to give me, because it is perfect and because now I don't touch that shit and am actively working against it. A quote from Ice's sister, Sasha, speaking to Ice:

"You are a brat in every room of this house."

And he is. And so am I. And while I actively wish for the downfall of AI in the arts, I will always have this one, perfect, beautiful artifact from that brief, innocent time when we were just playing with a toy that we didn't expect would soon actively steal from us and try to wipe us from existence.

*I believe this particular AI is still run by a nonprofit solely for research, but I'm not about to fuck with it again.

[solardecay]

Lace your heart with mine // Baldur's Gate 3

About Me and My Writing

Hi, you can call me Kit (or Decay or Sol or w/e floats thine boat). I'm in my late twenties, my pronouns are she/her. I am both queer myself and obviously queer friendly. I'm not always consistently around due to both some environmental circumstances and personal struggles (it's the mental illness).

My writing style is third person present tense. I do have the ability to write in past tense if present tense bothers you. I can write anywhere from 200 words to about 3,000 (I don't measure in paragraphs as I play a little fast and loose with the definition of "paragraph" aksjdfhg).

While I don't expect you to mirror/length-match me, I am asking for someone who is comfortable writing detailed, literate posts. Not every post has to be 800w, I often dip low in my word count during dialogue heavy scenes. And I'm not asking for perfect spelling every time, lord knows I have a myriad of typos and I don't re-read my posts when I get excited. But I'm asking for the basics. Knowing that the game (and thus the city) is Baldur's Gate, not Baulder's Gate, would be a good start.

I have not finished Baldur's Gate 3. I am mid-Act Three on a normal Tav run, and haven't even gotten to the Goblin Camp on my Durge run. I am kindly requesting no spoilers, and we can discuss where each of us are in the game to better know what that means.

The Rules

Since I'm in my late-late twenties, I'm looking for someone who is at least 21 themselves, but it'd be even better if you were 23+

In this house we double. If you don't know what doubling means, it means that I write both my character and who you want me to write for you, and you write your character and who I want you to write for me.

I will even triple for you, if you're in the market for a love triangle or a polyam OT3. You do not in any way have to triple in return, in fact I'd prefer if you didn't.

At this time I probably won't write smut with you. I have to get to know someone and trust them before I feel comfortable with that, and a lot of people like to bully me out of the gate because they're upset I won't and that gets old fast. For now I fade to black. (Dick jokes and talking about the fact adults do fuck is fine though, fading to black doesn't mean instant prude status)

I am however alright with like, a bit of violence. About Witcher 3's level is as far as I'm comfortable going: Durge can maim people as a treat if they want, we just don't need to go body horror with the organs, right?

Limits: Are very important, do not forget them. I do not want drugs, alcohol, smoking, vaping, or substance abuse to feature in or out of character. I don't want to see memes about it, I don't want to write about it. Nothing. I also am not wild about sexual assault*, or the community's standard limits list of: pedophilia, incest, bestiality, etc. Leave all of that at the door, thank you. Rule number one of the salon is don't be nasty and you know that! *Regarding SA: Now obviously with BG3, that's a huge part of Astarion's background. And I'm not looking to erase that - I just don't want to glorify it, or romanticize it or fetishize it or any of that shit. And I'd rather not write like the assault itself, y'know? They can talk about it - I want them to talk about it! I want Astarion to heal and to overcome what's happened (or learn what overcoming it looks like to him) and to find himself, but I don't want to engage with assault kink. If you're coming at it from a kink point of view, skedaddle. shoo. get out of here.

The mediums I use are: Discord, Email, and Gdocs (though with their AI scraping we should probably find somewhere else. I'm not keen on writing here on tumblr, but I'd be happy to idk, make a private Proboard or something?)

New rule: Please do not show me AI art of your character. Don't use an AI generator about it if you plan to write with me. Find a picrew or a dress up doll or some random picture on Pinterest. Hell just give me a paragraph description if you have to.

When you message me, do not just ask for my Discord or my Email. Do not just ask if I'm still looking, don't just say hey. The first message is a first impression, make it a good one. Tell me about yourself, tell me who you want me to write for you, what you're thinking, if you're picking up what I am putting down. Put some personality into it: This isn't a job, it's a hobby, it should sound like it when you talk to me. In this same vein, I'd prefer said first impressions are conducted over email, but messaging me on tumblr is fine too I suppose

Remember kids: Cringe is dead, the concept of a Mary Sue and judging OCs based on this imaginary criticism is inherently misogynistic, and having OCs related to canons (or other “Sue” traits) is cool and hot actually! Write that down! It’s okay to have powerful, smart, capable OCs! It’s fine, I promise ♡

Characters and "Plots"

First of all, in regards to sexuality / gender / canon / oc identities, everything is peachy keen! M/F, F//, M//, Trans, NB, Canon/OC, Canon//, OC// are all fine by me ♡

My side will be M/F Canon/OC, but you are welcome to request anything you would like. This is Build-A-Bitch and you can, in fact, have it your way.

My side is also M/F in a distinctly queer way. My OC is ace, as well as someone who doesn’t entirely conform to gender, so take that as you will ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I will make you an OC, I will play multiple Canons for you, you can write as any gender identity or sexuality as you please. Just rub the lamp and make your wish! I will write almost any Canon for you, barring noted exceptions.

That out of the way, here's what I'm looking for!

I am looking for you to write: Gale Dekarios of Waterdeep against my OC. I would particularly love to write for you: Astarion, Karlach, Minsc, Rolan, damn near anyone your gay heart desires Who I'm not particularly keen to write: The Emperor, Gortash and I don't yet feel like I know enough about Raphael to do him justice

And here's some plot jumping off points I've got rattling around in here:

Alternate Universe

I'm reeeeaalllyyy vibing with AUs at the moment. I think it's the ✨Holiday Vibes✨ aksjdfg. I'd love to do - honestly a wide variety of AUs! If you have something in mind, please feel free to mention it! The one I've been thinking about though is some sort of low-modern mid/high-fantasy thing where Gale is a professor at some wizard school? O///O I saw some art where he was a professor by day and a chess streamer on twitch by night? Which was pretty cute alwksjdfhg But I'd also love like some like Holiday-y cheesy romcom tropes if we're vibing. I love stuff like fake dating/fake engagement/fake marriage, that's easily my favorite. Shit like oh no now there's a storm, and no flights, and they can't leave... whatever will they do... how tragic. Only one bed type shit. I loooove slice of life, I also love stealing the plots of other media to use as AU skeletons! Like The Holiday or The Proposal, You've Got Mail, She Loves Me (the musical), whatever! I've got a whole list of these and a few other cheesy prompts if you're interested in something festive and romcom-y! I also love fantasy if we want to put these characters in a fantasy AU that's distinct from the game itself alsdhf

Self Indulgent Pre-Established (sort of) Bullshit!

Now I know a lot of people tend to see the term pre-established and cringe or in general think it’s boring. But wait, don’t scroll by! First of all, I don’t mean they were already like super together and had had a full character arc and everything prior to the roleplay ever starting. By pre-established I just mean that they knew each other. Second of all, remember what I said about cringe? It’s dead baby! Bury the coffin and move on! I’ve got an AU that I’m growing fonder of by the day, where my Tav has known Gale since they were teenagers (having attended Blackstaff together). They’re best friends and have been for decades at this point, and unbeknownst to Gale, my Tav has been in love with him since their days at academy. But his friendship means more to her than anything, so she’s never brought it up. Especially not when he was dating other people and later Mystra. She’s always been supportive and just quietly, quietly pines in the background. When he returns to Waterdeep after the netherese orb embedded itself in his chest and Mystra broke it off with him, after not seeing him for a while (since he’d been off with Mystra and later looking for the orb itself) she shows up to help him through this dark period in his life, and to help him find a cure. Gale is someone the game clearly writes with depression and something akin to (if not outright) suicidal ideation, and journeys of healing are narratives that I really really enjoy and cherish. So this would obviously be a lot of healing and then sweet sweet pining because like. Yearning, yanno? This sounds, as I write it out, like I can fix him fic and like I guess it’s not not that but? It’s more about giving Gale the tools to fix himself.  Listen. I’m not explaining it good. But we’re all depressed queers in this Chili’s tonight, are we not? My depressed queers get it. We wanna see these bitches get some therapy! And learn to recognize their support groups! Even if that support group is your one school friend and your cat. You gotta start somewhere. This can be a pre-game thing if you want to later move into the game’s plot, or we don’t even have to touch the game’s plot. I am happy as a clam to just party on with Gale’s personal quest and figure out an alternative solution to the orb.  I also recognize this is disgustingly self indulgent, but what is roleplay if not the wish fulfillment hobby? Naturally, in return, I am happy to write whatever self indulgent AU you are after!

Tadpoles, Gods, The Absolute: Oh my! (The Game)

I am more than happy to just shove both of our Tavs in the game and go from there! Especially since it’s what I’m currently interacting with, and that makes it something I’m thinking about all the time. We can craft companion quests for our Tavs, and we can pick a point in the game to drop them in if that’s your cup of tea! We can go as laissez faire or as hardcore mechanic about it as you like. Whether it’s just loosely following the plot or like sharing class builds and shit, I’m down for either! But know at the end of the day I’m one of those people who believe if the rules of Dungeons and Dragons are prohibiting fun, then it’s time to throw them out (like that old rule about all Tieflings being evil or some shit. Or how they can only be a limited amount of colors. Boring. Stupid. Where’s the joy, WOTC? Where is it.)

Alright, I think that's probably it. I know I probably came off abrasive, but I promise I'm a pretty chill person alksdkjfg

Hope to hear from you guys, but if I don't, good luck on your searches!

And for those who stuck around to the end and are interested in contacting me, here is my email that you can do that at:

cherryicingx (at) gmail (dot) com

(sorry for it not being very copy-pasteable, trying to avoid you know whats just scraping my email and spamming me)

We can totally RP via Discord, but you gotta get my handle by talking to me first. I'm getting tired of handing out my disco only to be hit with "hi i saw your ad :)" great what do you want "baulder's gate :)"

If you're gonna make me pull teeth at least pay me a dentist's salary first <33

[magicrainbowkitties]

Couple things about DBH specifically Markus bc my brain is having thoughts bc I've been stuck in the house for a week bc I live in Texas and we don't know how to deal with icy roads around here:

1. These bitches really did predict AI art. Shit...

2. The fact that the only "good" endings for Markus are in the peaceful route is fuckin stupid. I hate hurting people and war is a fucking tragedy no matter what, but the moment when people go from just confused to actively wanting you dead is the moment the claws have to come out. Looking and acting the part of the model oppressed can only get you so far. True freedom from systemic oppression requires the dismantling of the system of oppression, and that requires active, constant, unyielding pressure. Following that...

3. Also they were literally doing Android concentration camps at the end there. That hack David Cage might be like "nOt RaCiSm" and shit but like. The Holocaust references were fucking explicit throughout the entire fucking game. And then if you make the wrong choices one of your big three literally gets to stand in line at fucking android gas chambers like what in the actual fuck? AND THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE EVERYONE IS TO PICKET THE THINGS!? WHAT!?

Like when it gets to that fucking point, I'm sorry, North was right. That's when the gloves come off and the knives come out. Cause if these are people and they are alive, this is a whole genocide. And then you sit here picketing a concentration camp as people are murdered systematically and ruthlessly every second you sit there? WHEN YOU HAVE THE NUMBERS AND ABILITY TO FUCKING DO SOMETHING.

Yeah sorry I liked the singing too but like... as a trans person who has Jewish friends and found family, I cannot IMAGINE being able to physically, actively save your own people from certain doom and then just... not doing it. And instead just standing around waiting for the pigs to murder you too. Like there's a point where enough is enough and that line was crossed several acts ago, bucko.

4. Also from a gameplay standpoint wouldn't it make the most sense for you have to pick out of certain routes for certain situations? The game as a whole suffers from this, but in a game about choices I tend to find it far more interesting when the best endings end up having a decent split between the "good" and "bad." And a game about making choices to lead an entire revolution would've been the perfect stage for something like that. But no, good is ALWAYS good, bad is ALWAYS bad. Mix of both means "wacky." Ffs.

5. I feel like the whole concept of deviancy wasn't explained in a satisfying way, bc the way they explain it means that these androids aren't actually alive. All they're doing is replicating, they're not actually feeling. It's like with AI art as we know it IRL (see, coming full circle XD), all it can do is steal from other ideas and copy things that already exist. Deviancy as explained in-game is the equivalent: copying emotions and reactions to situations, rather than actually having the conciousness to actually feel and think for oneself.

6. And yet, the very first time we're introduced to deviancy outside of Conner's prologue is Markus creating new art. Deviancy as explained should not allow for this to happen; it should be his first attempt (a perfect copy of something that already exists), or something like what we see in AI art (stolen amalgams of other people's ideas). But his art is (canonically, mind you) entirely original. They're abstract, and they evoke definitive, visceral emotion, while also being grounded and real enough that it could only come from the soupy weirdness of a human mind. It's not a replica, or a mishmash of thievery, it's real art (yes I know those were paintings made for the game by real people but we're talking about in-game canon here and honestly that just proves my point).

And the prompts to make those paintings are literally just what Markus is thinking about. He's taking an abstract concept, interpreting his own feelings about that concept, and painting something that means something to him. That's literally exactly how people do art, that's how we have done since we've existed as humans.

7. Therefore the canonical explanation of deviancy as replicating human emotion and thought is categorically stupid and self-evidently wrong. Which begs to question... why didn't they just go the route literally every other sci-fi story about rogue AI has done for literally decades and just go "well, they've started to evolve an actual consciousness and cognitive process for interpreting the world around them by both learning from humans and evolving as artificial lifeforms." No they had to go for the more "realistic" explanation bc they wanted this grounded in reality.

In a story about. Rogue AI. Robot detectives. A point within the next 10 years in which racial disparity and discrimination in the US is not an issue anymore. People adopting robot children who do everything a child does. One (1) single queer couple seen in the entirety of an oppressed community. A point within the next 10 years where androids not only exist, not only are household items, but are a normal part of every day life to the point where even lower-class people like Todd can afford the multiple thousand dollar price tag for not just one, but 2 androids, and constant repair for both of them because he beats them so bad. Oh and the fact that they're so widespread that one of their parts is the primary component in a widely-known and used street drug (and has been so for years by the time the game takes place).

I know I shouldn't expect better from a hack like David Cage. But I can't help it cause fucking hell this game should've been so much better.

8. Also fuck him and his team for cutting out Simarkus so late in development like what the fuck was that. What so you couldn't trim out some of the pointless bits of Kara's stuff, no the gays were what had to go? Ffs.

-

I told you I was thinking thoughts. Thank you for reading them.

[celestial-dimetrodon]

ggghhh god i fucking hate tech culture. i love computer science, it's fascinating and powerful and complex and yet the main thing it's used for is dogshit slop that's making our society actively worse. the tech industry is tapping into something that's genuinely powerful and potentially revolutionary, just open tiktok and you'll see the sheer power of data and machine learning algortitms. AI, including but not limited to generative AI, is a technological marvel! image recognition, predictive models, the entirety of the goddamn internet, it's all fucking amazing! but that's the problem, isn't it. the way our society works means that all that reality-warping power is used to extract every last drop of money, time, and attention from as many people as possible. just open tiktok and you'll see what i mean. you can only understand it if you've experienced it for yourself. imagine if a fraction of the money poured into developing reccomendation algotithms that fill every spare second of your limited time on earth with useless slop was spent developing technology that made our lives materially better. i want to work in ecological management. imagine if we spent that money on collecting environmental data? if tiktok can distill such a potent formula for extracting human attention, what would happen if we gave that power to people who actually care about helping their communities? it's unacceptable that we as actual human people are being stripped for parts by these companies, our identities are being co-opted, sanitized and crystalized into nothing but fucking content. it's genuinely horrifying. data is powerful, but instead of using data to increase our understanding we're using it to understand less. to hijack the brains of millions of people, to inject useless shit that distracts us from the fact that they'd prefer the spark of humanity inside all of us to be snuffed in favor of predictable sources of attention and ad revenue. it makes me sick. and i honestly feel like i'm being taken advantage of as someone with adhd, like these apps know where the dopamine button is in my brain and they keep fucking pressing it, keeping me hooked and distracted and out of control of my own mind. i can't help but feel almost violated. machine learning algorithms are powerful, and the control they have over our lives is sickening. i've stopped using tiktok, i dont open twitter anymore, i'm trying to stop scrolling through instagram and pinterest for hours a day. we all have to resist this slop. make bad art, listen to people's messy and genuine thoughts and share your own with real actual human people. don't let the shape of your life be dictated by an algorithm. but don't fall into the trap of being "anti-technology" either. there's a reason it's being used to control us, and it's because it's powerful. i genuinely believe that we need more technology and computer science education. they say you can't use the master's tools to dismantle the master's house, but what if all the smart and compassionate people who want to make a difference had the skills to make their own tools? of course the people in power aren't going to let that happen if they can help it, but i won't let that stop me from trying. do you know how to pirate software? do you know how to spot AI images? do you know how to protect your online identity? if not, then learn. i love the posts that go around on here sharing open-source software and peer-to-peer sharing sites, because i think it's genuinely important for people to know how to use technology critically. technology isn't magic, tech companies just want you to believe it is so you can't make informed decisions. also, please learn some basic internet safety. don't incriminate yourself on social media or in public forums. don't share any identifying information about yourself. always assume someone can see your activity unless you've made damn sure they can't.

sorry for the long rant. hopefully nobody will read this but i just wanted to vent about some big feelings i've been having about my career trajectory and the work as a whole.

[vegetablejester]

Ramble timee, this is some WoH lore. It's not ultra important, just some background info I'll likely add in the future but I feel like yapping abt it now since it's not spoilery I don't think. Just some Celestial lore and ideas I have.

So I may have made it look like they lived on a planet, but that's kind of a retcon now. With how old they can live, their home planet likely died long ago so now instead they're using ships that have compressed space in a sense. So it's an entire planet's worth of space inside of one ship and there's a few of them. They're like the equivalent of being these super advanced folk who don't do anything with their tech with any other planets or colonies.

Nightmare technically was one to break from that mold and reach out which is peculiar for a Celestial but going into the effects of that is actually spoiler territory vgbhnjk. So for now I wanna talk about why I wanted to yap today, the ships. Celestials while split into two types based on being Nocturnal or Diurnal have societies closely based on our own, Meta Knight was born in the Celestial equivalent of Mexico and Vega is the equivalent of being Greek. In these boats however, all these countries are very big for the population they actually have.

Celestials have a rather small population, due to the length of their lifespans and due to all of this space, a lot of weird stuff pops up time to time with these types of beings. You see, the predominant architecture across Celestial ships is inspired by Dream Architecture, something annoying to give examples for now because of ai and other shit. But a long and short of it is very surrealist but modern architecture that you could only see in a dream. Maybe with some Frutiger Aero touches. With this excess of space, those more well off will just drop pet projects around with little care or thought, creating strange alien like spaces in the middle of no where for your displeasure of running into. While it may see beautiful to an unfamiliar eye, much of it is soulless and created from the border of near immortal beings without much to do and money and time to waste. Much of the old world and traditions are slowly being washed away and the homes they live in have basically become an endless surreal maze of curved white hallways and a sun that barely sets. You can see why Vega has issues man.

One design aspect I can imagine quite vividly in my mind for what a Celestial home may look like is inspired by the MC Escher staircases. Massive monochrome rooms leading to nowhere, an endless abyss of your own footsteps echoing as you spend an hour trying to find the toilet in this dumbass fucking house your dad thought would be great to build and they're shocked as to why you spend all day in your room which is the sanest looking space imaginable in that house to begin with. 'An Autobiography by Vega' But yeah I just like the idea of these ultra-powerful old beings just being so bored with life they make all the architecture and buildings in their society art pieces which looks nice at first but then becomes a pain in the ass to live in especially with the stupid amount of spaces everywhere.

There are some more normal parts of their society at least, since that is mostly the upper crust of Celestials which is quite a lot of them. There's quite a big economic split which is a whole can of worms both irl and lore-wise. These areas are a lot more cramped in comparison, but much of the architecture is closer to more traditional designs and or dated like how we have a shit ton of houses build in the like 50s over here in the UK. Ironically Castle Dedede kind of has similarities to rich Celestial design which also probably annoys the fuck out of Meta Knight. But yeah this was mostly an architect ramble lmao, of all things. Though speaking of that I do have some ideas of giving Nightmare stuff inspired by HR Gyger, like in terms of some of the technology he uses specially for creating Demon Beasts and cloning. A lot of the spaces I've have Vega create as well are based off dream spaces and more backrooms type vibes. The one where he's in the white room is specifically meant to be weird and off-putting as his recreated mind is basically falling apart. The ocean often plays a big theme in symbolism when it comes to dreams, which is why it shows up so often. It's also his preferred creation due to his control over water, so most of the time if its an ocean Vega has likely been the one to create the dreamscape that night.

[mcalhenwrites]

Now that Geckos is out, I plan to work on the side stories for a little collection of them. "Don't" and "Dancing Bones" will be edited, but I plan to post them online for free as well as put them in the story collection.

It'll likely only be an ebook, though, and it'll have a few more stories. That includes a finished version of "Late Returns" (what I've posted is only the first part of a WIP). I want to get back to Stargazers' Hill and the Warren/Henry story that isn't titled yet, but right now, Seasons has taken over my brain again. I'm editing and reposting chapters on AO3. I thought people might be upset that I was reposting it, but so far the reception has been kind. ;A; (I still feel bad somehow? But that's on me.) After publishing Geckos and having an amazing day in the next town over, the following day was... not so great. We had storms. I'm gonna be vague for location reasons, but I live in one of the towns hit by a tornado the other day. I saw a map of it, and uh, I could've seen the tornado out my bedroom window if it had hit during the day instead of at night where visibility is shit. And if I hadn't been huddled in the downstairs hallway with my cats and roommate. I was panicked about the weather all day, and that was worse because it was the anniversary of Andover 1991 (a tornado). I lived through that. Uh, very luckily I lived through that, it hit my neighborhood and was scary close to my house, to the point the sirens 50 ft away or so were drowned out by the sound of the tornado. We had no basement and no good inner rooms or closets in such a tiny house at the time. I've been through other tornadoes since then, but none were as terrifying as that one. Before the tornado and after the reminder that it was Andover 1991 aniversary... I also got an email that I didn't get a job that would've been good for my disabilities. Like, worked around it well and not been too straining on me. Plus I would've worked with animals. I'm struggling financially, so writing is the only way I'm getting any income - outside of crocheting, and I don't want to fucking do that for money. I want my hobby back. I want to make gifts. I want to make OC dolls. I want my limited physical spoons for crocheting to be for ENJOYMENT. Not so stressful it makes me fucking hate crocheting. Which... yeah, I'm kind of there again. That said, I have made a few book sales, but... Well, I'll keep trying. I've got other novels cooking. I'll double down my focus, maybe. I will sketch more. Maybe I'll reconsider using something like Patreon, which... don't love, but like. What can you love? Every site is screwing over creators in some way or another. :'( It's depressing, actually, bc I hop on facebook, and I can't see ANY posts of the people and groups I follow, but you know what I DO see? Fucking suggested pages for AI art. I really hope all the people who gentrified the tiny house movement get scammed into buying stupid fake tiny houses due to AI images and end up taking legal action eventually that helps to bring about the (hopefully inevitable) death of AI? I'm mean, but like, tiny houses and mobile homes and caravans and shit like that were houses before rich people decided they were cute and they went up to $200k-$300k. I wanted a tiny house bc I thought, "at least I might someday afford this" but nah. They took even that away. So enjoy your shitty "this is perfect for me" gushing when the fucking pillows are melted into the planks and the switches for the oven and stovetop are underneath the burners! Anyway! I should probably do more writing and take my anemic ass to bed soon. It's been... a shitty couple of days. I'm trying to be cheerful and remain optimistic and just boost Geckos, Automata... but eh. I'm also trying to survive when everything is against that. I had a suicidal thought earlier today that I should just gulp down all the pills I can get my hands on and be done with things. yay. (I won't. It was a passing thought. A desperate "oh god I can't afford to live and I should give up, I'm in my late 30s and nothing ever gets better" thought.)

[hybridhadal]

ABOUT ME

Hey, how you doin’n, bitch? My name’s Hadal Ai Douglass, but you can just call me Hadal (or HD). 

I’m just your everyday twenty-something year old black and nerdy queer.  I'm 5'6" with brown eyes and black locs. I love gaming, travelling, martial arts, anime, music, cussing (so be warned), and getting into trouble with friends. I know this reads like some corny Tinder profile but bare with me. I'm actually a pretty interesting guy once you get to know me…

I come from the Murx (which is short for Murkstone, VA) and my pronouns are ‘he/him’ as well as ‘they/them’. I resonate more with the ladder though.  Coming from the Murx though, people tend to pretty much call you whatever the fuck they want.  While not as popular as NYC or as hood as Detroit, the people here are characters nonetheless. It can get pretty busy and even crowded on certain occasions too.  It has this sort of Gothic and old time aesthetic which attracts tourists for sure.  But it also still keeps the allure of a regular modern city with the tall buildings, the traffic, burger joints on every corner, and neighborhoods you probably wouldn't want to get caught in at night.

Speaking of which, the nightlife is pretty cool here too.  There’s lots to do. We got clubs, we got bars, we got strip joints, and other stuff. But after you've done it all, it can get a little repetitive. I’ve also lived here since I was a kid.  So, perhaps I’m not the best person to talk to about it.  One of the best things about the city though is that we also have these yearly music festivals that a bunch of outsiders attend.  It’s called the "Deep Flow Festival" and it can get pretty big.  I typically DJ at these events and the like.  So, I’m a little known in the community here. Still, one of my bigger goals in life is to see the world.

One of my biggest dreams is to become a big presence in the music industry; to work with bigger names and make crazy loot.  I know, it's a little cliché but I'm a creative at heart. I already make and sell my beats to some of the rappers and singers in my area (and a little beyond). On top of DJing at some of the spots around here, it pays the bills. It's also better than working some 9 - 5 that drains my life. So, although what I'm doing is barely getting me by, I'm not complaining. But again, I want to be bigger. I wanna be heard around the world. I wanna make big money, and ultimately move out of my little kitchen pantry of a pad. Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful for the place that I have. But it'd be cool if I could live in better place or maybe even in my own house. In today's economy though, you probably have to be making 1% money to buy and keep a house (especially the kind that I want). But I also want to get into other avenues too. Well, either that or find a sugar daddy to take care of me. I mean, shit, it is what it is.

I’ve been told I can be a bit boy-crazy at times though. On of the reasons I'm really into martial arts is that I love a man who can throw some hands.  But if you're reading this and you're anything like my folks, you'd probably think that I still have a lot of life lessons to learn in that area (and you'd probably be right).  I wouldn't call myself a spring chicken though. I can be a bit paranoid when it comes to men but not in the way you might think.  Like I’m not afraid to get out and get to know people.  That’s pretty much my job to a degree.  I just know some of these men out here can be crazy as all hell sometimes.  So, I do what I can when I can to keep any contingency that I can. 

Growing up, my step-dad pretty much forced me to partake in survival school as well as self-defense training.  He’s one of those Pan-African Hotep types on top of being an ex-marine.  So, he made sure to raise me to be as militant and as hard ass as he could. I'd even go so far as to say that I picked up a few of his qualities (both good and bad). I mean, I never really met my real father or anything like that. So, I normally refer to him as just my dad despite not really getting along with him like that to this day. But, yeah, survival school taught me a lot though.  I kinda had a rough time adjusting to it but I did eventually.  Shit, I even made friends.  Some of which even came up with me from middle school all the way to high school.  

Before all that though, it was just my mom and me.  She and I were practically inseparable.  Then, she got her dream macho man and became the mayor.  Pretty much everything changed after that.  It all became about keeping an image, which pretty much meant keeping any sort of affiliations between her and I secret. I'm not exactly the most exemplary child (or so she constantly leads me to believe).  It also meant spending significantly less time with the person who I at one point spent all my time with.  I can’t blame her though.  My biological father skipped town on us before I could really form any decent memories of him.  So, for a small portion of my formative years, it was just the two of us.  Once my step dad stepped into the picture, I pretty much became that little block of wood that he whittled into a shank.  I don’t know... 

But enough about my mom and dad.  This next fact about me might seem like a bit of a stretch. But the craziest part of my life by far is the fact that I’m actually a practitioner of cosmic sorcery.  Now, I know you’re probably thinking…

“What in the fuck is cosmic sorcery?”

Well, it’s pretty hard to sum up in just a few words but I will do my best.  Cosmic sorcery is the study and manifestation of the universe's darkest secrets.  Think of all that lies in the spaces between universes being summoned to our plane of existence; like being able to call on beings from the heavens and beyond to grant you whatever you desire. Cosmic sorcery can grant its user knowledge, physical enhancement, or sometimes even the complete annihilation of something.  But also, it is an overall teaching of this universe's many elements.  With enough knowledge, I could probably terraform (or flat out destroy) whole cities if not the whole planet. Now, mind you, I'm not on some OP anime character type shit but I know a lot. But yeah, there’s a LOT you can do with cosmic sorcery. 

Ultimately cosmic sorcery preaches the oneness of the individual self and the universe.  It is as powerful as one who practices it puts into it is. That and its incredibly ancient and mysterious. So, you can expect a lot of shit to go unexplained by me. I may practice the bitch but I'm no historian. The way I try to think of it is that it’s basically mankind's biggest kept secret (sorta, I guess).  I mean, of course I’m not the only one that knows it.  That’s also not the only form of sorcery out there.  But it’s the one my grandfather blessed me with before he passed.  I strive to know more and more but there isn’t much on it.  I have to consult beings from beyond time and my own reality for guidance, and that's a whole box of chocolates in itself. A lot of the time, it feels like I'm just winging it.  

But that's about it when it comes to me… 

I feel like I've experienced quite a bit of life while not really experiencing life outside my own little bubble. But I mean, shit, I'm still young. Anything can change at any time. In fact, my dad says that's the only constant. I'm just a simple guy with big dreams and a lot on the mind. The following entries are pretty much a look into all of my highs, lows, and everything in between.  Every dream that I’ve dreamt, every hard time I’ve overcome (or am still overcoming), every boy I’ve ever had a thing with / for, every embarrassing moment I’ve endured, and every triumph I’ve earned will all be here for the world to see.  I hope you find it all as interesting as I do because believe me. It's some crazy shit.

Enjoy

HD  

[leam1983]

"So, I'm hopelessly urbane. What can I do?"

Simple. In university campuses the world over, there's a field of education being taught that, simply enough, is called Environment-Related Education. It's a lofty term, but it mostly refers to something simple.

Let's say you've got kindergarteners under your care, and you're trying to teach them the ABCs. Do you need all of a classroom's hardware, or just a book with some pictures - and things to name? Things you could find outside, for starters?

For adults, this means finding points of connection between yourself and Nature, what the Greeks called the oikos - or your Living Space. That doesn't refer to your living room or your house or your bedroom; but to the ecosystem you're a part of.

So, you can't bask in OP's belief that there's wonder or even revolutionary ideas about caring for the environment, or you feel the fight's been lost already. That's fine, and it's totally understandable. Nature feels alien to a lot of us. We've been trained to feel disconnected from it. We're humans, after all. We don't need nature, we tell ourselves - nature needs us.

As a disabled man, I can confess to one thing, which is that I am not fit for nature. I hate hikes, all three hikes I went on ended up with bruises, rolled ankles and scratches. I'm a creature built for even sidewalks, well-lit crossways and evenly spaced-out steps. My parents' old back yard was my idea of the wild, and my venturing up north for sleepovers with cousins as a kid was more of an inconvenience than a source of fun.

Nature, to be honest, isn't a fit for me.

It doesn't stop me from poking at mycology or the way slime molds develop because they resemble what I am made for, which is computers. It doesn't stop me from finding all the talk about AI art so fascinating, because we're at a point where hunks of silicon and magnets can display basic mimicry.

We're sitting on mechanical lyrebirds of a sort that cost anywhere from thirty bucks to tens of thousands of smackeroos, and we're copying the animal kingdom in designing better prosthetics, the replacement organs of tomorrow or the assistive technologies of ten or fifteen years from now. Say what you want about Spot or Boston Dynamics, the fact that the things look so utterly doglike should stand as proof of nature's power, of the way it has to inspire us.

Who knows? Maybe someone'll fix my cerebral palsy one day, and maybe that someone will get some ideas out of watching a patch of mushrooms grow out of a tree trunk's crevice in their back yard.

So, yeah. Giving a damn matters - no matter what damn it is. Someone might want to redesign their educational system, someone else might just be able to stick to composting. Fuck, maybe someone else can't manage much more than watch the occasional nature documentary. All of it still matters.

So, give a damn about Nature. At the end of the day, you get to say you were uniquely unselfish in that moment, in the midst of a life that, if it's anything like mine, so very often only centers around the Self.

I agree with the idea that a lot of humans nowadays have a severe lack of curiosity about the world, but I think there has to be a solution other than shame.

I think about this every day because the fate of our world hangs on curiosity: either we will rediscover the importance and wonders of the soil and bugs and flowers and water and finally with the whole natural world, or this way will be forgotten.

People raised in the great wasteland of the suburbs and roads and buildings have never seen most of the plants and creatures that are supposed to fill every field and meadow. So many humans have never seen with their own eyes more than a scant few of the most common of hundreds of wildflowers that are supposed to surround them. Some live in biomes designated forest and have never witnessed truly mature trees. They do not know what the birds sound like. When they see an ordinary deer, they are awed and amazed by it or even afraid of it. They have never eaten any of the delicious wild fruits that grow in their homeland; all birds except starlings and robins and sparrows are so strange and beautiful that they stare in wonder. They confront insects like people on an alien planet encountering an unknown life form: What is this? Will it hurt me?

I cannot even describe the grief I feel on behalf of humans that grow up and live in the wasteland of pavement and lawn. That we are expected to live in these brutal environments, that we are expected to be content without the right or ability to live alongside living creatures, to walk among wildflowers, to hear birdsong, to feel the plush softness of moss, to see even common bees and butterflies—the fact that we live, work, and raise our children in poisonous wastes where nearly everything has been wiped out, and the simplest and most abundant of natural pleasures are rare privileges—it's cruel. It's a crime against the human spirit. It makes me so angry and sad.

When I started researching plants, I had no idea that I would end up expanding my mind so much that I would be virtually a different person within the year. Before I learned, I could not have imagined the diversity and beauty that exists in the world. My mind did not have the tools to come up with it.

I lived for over twenty years believing that there was only one species of firefly. I lived for over twenty years not knowing that the Southeastern US has native bamboo. I had never tasted the indescribable flavor of a pawpaw or seen the iridescent vibrance of a red-spotted purple butterfly. I had only seen a Pileated Woodpecker out the window of a car. I had never touched true topsoil, the soft, living blanket of rich, sweet-smelling earth full of mycelium, as springy and plush as a mattress. Just one year ago, I knew nothing!

Humans, as creatures, are insatiably curious and hunger for beauty. It is so cruel to deprive a human of relationship with their natural environment.

It is no wonder that we are all addicted to the internet—we have a crucial need that is unfulfilled. Compared with a forest, the world of lawns and buildings is so ridiculously flat and unstimulating. You would expect humans in such a place to feel constantly bored, restless, frustrated, and incurably sad.

I feel that lack of curiosity can be a chosen thing, but it is also a defense mechanism against a world that will feel like sandpaper on the senses of the curious.

But we need curiosity to fix this—we need the ability to notice the living things that have crept in at the edges of the wasteland and be infected and tormented by their beauty. We need to recognize the forest reaching into our cage in the form of tiny saplings. We need to discard the word "weed," not because it is derogatory because it is fundamentally incurious—it designates a plant as needing no identity outside of its unwantedness. We must learn their names. We must wonder what their names are.