#in the least expected way

[vmpmch-writes]

In the least expected way

Read in ao3 here!

Hey hey! I did something for FE: Engage. I know it's been a few months since the game was released, but I had not had the time to work on stories for this game until now (and I do have a couple more that I'd like to finish in the future).

This one's a bit sad, cause I love to make characters suffer, but there's also some light.

I do hope you like it!

[akanemnon]

At least buy them dinner first before you lore dump all over the place

FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT

MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference

[kedreeva]

This bird was recently posted by a breeder who is saying it's a new color mutation, and that the feathers are actually like this- the bird is not wet, it just looks like crap because the feathers are weak/soft (lacking keratin). He seems pretty intent on breeding more of it, as well, which imo is putting profit over animal welfare.

Hopefully enough other peafowl folks (or heck, regular folks, you're welcome to say something if you can be POLITE) will speak gently to him about it before it gets that far, and help him to reconsider. I've already expressed my own concerns to him. At least if he goes through with it, he'll be doing so well aware that he shouldn't be doing it. But I'm really, really hoping he reconsiders.

[shotmrmiller]

in which johnny gifts the love of his life a sex toy outta nowhere

when you mumble into the phone that you miss him, johnny, he pauses for a second, then tells you he's going to bring you a gift back home. "to keep ye company, hen." after, he locks himself in a bathroom stall and watches you play with yourself until you both come.

but you'd thought he'd bring you a pet. a live animal that needs a cage to be brought across the world, not a long, slim unmarked box.

it's a sex toy. and it's rather large, at that. your hand wraps around the base, fingertips still a good inch apart.

"and i'm supposed to be using that?" his arms wrap around your waist, his thick stubble grazing the sensitive skin of your neck, raising goose flesh.

"don't like it? only had ye in mind, hen." he presses a wet kiss on your fluttering pulse. you've never really talked about toys in your relationship. you don't need them, of course, and johnny more than makes up for the time lost between you two whenever he's home but this?

"i don't know," you mumble. "a bullet would've made more sense, i think. at most a rose." his hands run up your sides, to the swell of your breasts and give you a gentle squeeze. he doesn't believe the tripe of people valuing size over all else, does he? the thing is easily as thick as your forearm and it's corded with veins. and it's uncut. whoever is making these are going to extreme lengths to make it as realistic as possible.

he bucks his hips, prominent bulge in his jeans coming to rest in the small of your back. of course he'd get excited. menace.

"ye willnae have t'use it alone now tha' i'm here. 'sides, i think ye'd look perfect with my pretty kitty stretched thin around it." johnny grabs your hips firmly, creating small divots as his grip tightens. "maybe i'll watch ye fuck yerself on it, hm? lap at yer clit while ye do." liquid heat pools in your belly, pulsing hot between your legs.

he really wants you to use it, given by his ragged breathing and he rutting himself against you. fine. "okay. just, not right now, yeah? i want only you in me." his eyes burn fluorescent as he nods, his large hand cradling your head as he pulls you in for a kiss.

you missed this. the sweet sting of his cock sliding home in your aching cunt, the sharp pinch below your navel when his tip comes to sit snugly against the plug of your womb. you've missed this. missed him.

maybe he'll forget all about that monstrosity sitting in the box.

-

he doesn't. he's bringing it up hours later, his spend still dripping warm on your thighs. johnny cannot be serious.

"course i am, hen." his fingers sweep at the hair stuck to your sweat-slick forehead. "is it a crime to want to see ye split open on some- something else?"

you think nothing of his stutter. "alright," you groan. if that's what he wants. it'll be interesting to see just how much you can take. you'll never tell him that your pussy clenched around nothing at the thought, his cum trickling out faster, pooling on the sheets.

-

it's not warm. the tip of it presses against your swollen entrance, cold in contrast to your heated flesh. johnny watches you swallow a gasp, your trembling hands reaching for his as you slide down an inch, two, three. johnny's cum is wonderful lube, but the searing burn- the size of toy is overwhelming, your walls being wrenched apart as you glide down further. johnny presses a prickly kiss on your cheek, cooing in your ear all the while his clever fingers draw gentle circles on your clit. "focus on breathin', bonnie. yer tensin' up."

desire begins to bubble beneath your skin, pleasure causing your muscles to warm and slacken, and after a long couple of minutes, you find yourself at the base.

but then johnny grabs your hips from behind and pulls- oh. "that's it." if you'd thought the toy had originally been in your stomach, it's now in your throat. "pretty as a peach, hen. jus' wha' i wanted to see." a shiver dances up your spine, notches trembling as you get used to the unforgiving stretch of the toy. his breath warms the side of your neck. "on yer go."

you come around it no less than three times, leaving it milky and johnny cleans it up with his mouth before he cleans you up.

-

the girth of it is something you'll never get used to but it does get easier. when johnny goes back to work, he tells you that all he asks for are videos of you using it. for his collection, he greedily says.

you send him as many as you can, no matter the hours. just a quick nsfw text before getting his thumbs up and away it goes. it's incredibly fun. the relationship hadn't been dull by any means, but this just feels invigorating. you feel rejuvenated. that johnny is your biggest cheerleader while using it is such a bonus.

you oughta marry him. maybe you'll elope the next time he's home. but when the next time comes, johnny calls you instead of messaging you the usual be home soon text.

and it sends you reeling.

bonnie. the toy treat ye well while i was gone?

no better than you could me, but yeah. i'm still sore from using it in the last video i sent you.

that's great. if ye like the toy then ye'll love the real thing, i ken. we'll be there in 10.

[technically-human]

Valentine's Day!!

The boys finally get a happy moment after going through the canon events

This was a commission for @i-am-as-normal-as-you-are so thank them for the cuteness!

The bonus is completely my fault though:

[wolfwarrior142]

Aaravos with his first child: *loves her so deeply, profoundly devastated for a century after she's unfairly killed, causes chaos for centuries after*

Aaravos with his second child: Fuck this little freak lol

[egophiliac]

LEON

LEON YOUR EYEBALLS

[benevolenterrancy]

~ Extremely Unwilling Magical Protagonists Attempt To Outrun The Plot And Not Fucking Die ~

(@takofukkatsumi this tag is from a while ago but it hasn't left my brain -- L-Space got very weird all of a sudden)

[221buckythesoldier]

in my humble lesbian opinion, in the case of yurified jayvik, viktor is the butch-est of the two of them. jayce fits piltover's expectations to a T, she'd have longgg hair and wear fancy dresses to galas and viktor'd be rolling into the lab looking the exact same as canon vik

[nell0-0]

Hyrule Warriors but instead of the lil' hero of time there's the hero shade :)

[flowersforthemachines]

Ghilan'nains's comments about Rook's romances at the Crossroads (and their reactions)

No romance

Elgar'nan: But surely the knowledge you gained… Ghilan'nain: My champions offered themselves willingly. More works of precision laid low before finding their full potential! Elgar'nan: You will have new subjects, in recompense. Whatever you wish. Ghilan'nain: Rook's companions seek to fight as one. Combining their traits into a single form would be edifying. Elgar'nan: Inspired. Consider it done. Rook: Ignore them. We're taking these bastards down before they ever get the chance.

Bellara romance

Ghilan'nain: Rook's foolish tinkerer toys with our old works. Let her be flesh-bonded into a Sentinel's armor. Bellara: Rook. She means…

Davrin romance

Ghilan'nain: Rook's dearest Warden. He is half blighted already. I would see if I could make him crave griffon flesh. Davrin: Let her try.

Emmrich romance

Ghilan'nain: Rook's necromancer. An excellent subject to test how long one could go back and forth between life and death. Emmrich: Don't listen to her, dearest. It won't come to that.

Harding romance

Ghilan'nain: Rook's Titan pretender? There are many things I could do with one so tied to the stone. Harding: She's not saying what I think she's saying, is she? She probably is.

Lucanis romance

Ghilan'nain: Rook's assassin. His flesh could be given true wings. And a face that better suits one who carries a demon. Lucanis: She is welcome to try.

Neve romance

Ghilan'nain: Rook's delver of the truth. A mage who would provide me with both blood and ice from her veins. Neve: Rook. She means…

Taash romance

Ghilan'nain: Rook's fire-breather. I would see if there is enough dragon blood in their veins to begin a new Archdemon. Taash: She can try.

Final line (all romances)

Rook: If they touch you, death will be the least of their problems.

My DAVG Extracted Audio Masterlist

[bunnykaye]

Bridgerton 3x07 | Joining of Hands written by Geetika Tandon Lizardi Script-To-Screen (5/?) (script courtesy of the Writers Guild Foundation Shavelson-Webb Library)

[puppppppppy]

Callbacks to older episodes

[liauditore]

Equally Invalid

[johnnyshrine]

★ 016 // “Mourning A Fate That Hasn't Happened Yet”