#in such weirdly specific ways too

[lenakluthor]

if i had a nickel for every time my life started to feel like a watered down version of the plot of supergirl, i’d have two nickels. which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

[vaguely-concerned]

on the one hand I think inner demons could stand to have a bit more romanced rook specific content, but on the other hand the underlying in-built implication that 'yours is the one true voice of comfort and safety in my inner world' is a sentiment and intimacy so way beyond the romantic or the platonic or any secret third thing you could care to name that it makes me lose my entire poor little mind a bit. it's so big and fundamental — near-existential — that in that exact moment at least the distinctions kind of seem irrelevant.

all the people lucanis' mind conjures up along the way are relationships he has that are unavoidably mixed and fraught in some ways even when they're also full of love (they are fraught BECAUSE they're full of love) — the good in them inseparable from things that hurt him at the same time. (it's about: the basic disorganized attachment patterns this poor guy is dragging around with him. careful with those, they're dellamorte heirlooms. what you love also inevitably hurts you and you won't be allowed to have one without the other, you have to surrender parts of your soul to hold on to what little you have left: this is the story up until now.) and the idea that rook isn't that to him — that beneath the fear of wanting them when romanced (which is more its own separate thing because within this psychology, actively wanting something and not just clinging on for dear life to even a meager status quo lest you lose it is in itself dangerous bordering on catastrophic), this is a relationship where there isn't resentment, or guilt, or shame, or dread, or rage, or self-hate, or any of the other emotions that keep him paralyzed, unable to move this way or that. no debts, nothing owed of yourself and your soul's substance except what you can freely and safely and happily give. love and freedom don't coexist — but, I mean, you're almost starting to make me think........... unless...👀👀👀. the unconditional and undramatic 'you are here and I am here with you, you can be exactly how you are right now with me and it's safe for us both even though you're afraid it won't be, I'm not going anywhere' acceptance rook shows him here that he returns to them in the big romance scene, when it's rook who needs it. the way he's just. standing there in the center of it all, like a child desperately helplessly waiting to be found, hiding in the place he hopes you'll know to look first. (rook does know. it's one of the first things they say in there.)

in short the most important room in his little mind palace for the romance is the very first room — the one where rook isn't. where, in fact, rook cannot be, because they disprove the entire structure of the place with their existence and presence in his life. with everyone else he's putting words in their mouths about what they think of him, and rook is the one who actually gets to come in to speak their own words to him — and have him listen. ('he'll listen to you, he always listens to you', 'your voice is a comfort'.) of course rook isn't present anywhere else in there — at the risk of stating the obvious to a tedious degree, they aren't one of the locks, they're bringing the key. in the very finest 'the messenger and the message' sort of way.

[totally-not-an-awkward-okapi]

Still thinking about that little angel I dreamt about a bit ago so I’ve been binging other angel stuff and felt inspired to try to draw him as @hoaxghost ‘s style of angel.

[mothzan]

BSD fashion au

They had cooped themselves up in Chuuya's living room, trading ideas, looking at magazines Mori had given them, looking for different styles they could try, bickering over dresses, suits, or whatever else caught the other's attention just for the sake of annoying each other.

Time stretched on until morning, the living room having been turned into a battle field with papers, pens, and magazines scattered everywhere.

They seemed to have calmed down halfway through, sitting together in front of the couch.

Doodling rather than actually trying to get a design down on paper while drinking their coffee

(That dazai made Chuuya get, complaining about how bad a host he was being.)

Arguing without any actual heat behind their words

Just in their own little world, behaving like the teenagers they were.

[bonefall]

good lord, eon mentioned in 2024

(sudden flood of comments of people recognizing Eon/Eona in my inbox)

Well! Guess that duology wasn't as obscure as I thought! Never actually met other people who had read them, lmao.

Full disclosure that I haven't read those books in like... good lord, 15+ years at this point. I do remember it having some super uncomfortable plot points, especially when it comes to Eona's romantic relationships.

I would explicitly tell any minors 16 and below to steer clear of Eon/Eona, for that reason. There are some VERY heavily sexual topics in this book, along with extreme ableism and misogyny. A baby is also killed on screen as part of a coup.

(Also prepare for very messy 2000s depictions of queerness. And an ending that is very abrupt.)

[nat-1-whump]

Alright, pardon me for drawing whump inspiration from weird places like a college lab class, but some types of rock, such as marble, sizzle when they come into contact with hydrochloric acid. Which brings me to...

Whumpee is a sentient marble statue. Maybe they're a person who was turned into a statue with a petrification spell, or they're a statue that was cursed with sentience somehow. Either way, they're trapped in this form for the time being.

Though most people have no clue Whumpee is alive, Whumper finds out and takes full advantage of this, torturing Whumpee with hydrochloric acid. It burns and they can't do a thing to stop it. Over time, the acid starts to wear down the stone, and Whumpee can only imagine what a bloody mess their flesh will be if they are ever turned back.

Or, alternatively, Caretaker is trying to figure out what happened to them, and they use hydrochloric acid to test what kind of stone Whumpee is. Caretaker would never hurt Whumpee on purpose, but they're completely unaware that Whumpee can feel every single drop that touches them. Whether they know that Caretaker means no harm, or think that Caretaker is deliberately hurting them, Whumpee can't help but feel a bit nervous about Caretaker from then on.

Whumpee is utterly helpless, forced to hold perfectly still as the burning liquid is splashed onto them. They can't flinch, can't scream, can't cry. Their face is still frozen in the exact same expression they've always had as a statue. And they hate it.

[antisocialxconstruct]

.

[commsroom]

to me, the question of whether hera would want a body is first and foremost a question of autonomy and ability. she has an internal self-image, i think it's meaningful that the most pivotal moments in her character arc take place in spaces where she can be perceived the way she perceives herself and interact with others in a (relatively) equal and physical capacity, and that's worth considering. but i don't think it's about how she looks, or even who she is - and i think she's the same person either way; she's equally human without a body, and having a body wouldn't make her lived experience as an AI magically disappear - so much as it's about how she would want to live.

like most things with hera, i'm looking at this through a dual lens of disability and transness, both perspectives from which the body - and particularly disconnect from the body - is a concern. the body as the mechanism by which she's able to interact with the world; understanding her physical isolation as a product of her disability, the body as a disability aid. the body as it relates to disability, in constant negotiation. the body as an expression of medical transition, of self-determination, of choice. as a statement of how she wants to be seen, how she wants to navigate the world, and at the same time reckoning with the inevitable gap between an idealized self-image and a lived reality, especially after a long time spent believing that self-image could never be visible to anyone else.

it's critical to me that it should never imply hera's disability is 'fixed' by having a body, only that it enables her to interact with the world in ways she otherwise couldn't. her fears about returning to earth are about safety and ability; the form she exists in dictates the life she's allowed to lead and has allowed people to invade her privacy and make choices for her. dysphoria and disability both contribute to disembodiment - in an increasingly digitized world, the type of alienation that feels like your life can only exist in a virtual space... maybe there's something about the concept of AI embodiment, in particular as it relates to hera, that appeals to me because of what it challenges about what makes a 'real woman.' when it's about perception, about how others see her and how she might observe / be impacted by how she's treated differently, even subconsciously. it's about feeling more present in her life and interfacing with the world. but it's not in itself a becoming; it doesn't change how she's been shaped by her history or who she is as a person.

i think it comes back to the 'big picture' as a central antagonistic force in wolf 359, and how - in that context, in this story - it adds a weight to this hypothetical choice. hera is everywhere, and she's never really anywhere. she's got access to more knowledge than most people could imagine, but it's all theoretical or highly situational; she doesn't have the same life experiences as her peers. she has the capacity to understand that 'big picture' better than most people, but whatever greater portion of the universe she understands is nothing next to infinity and meaningless without connection and context. it's interesting to me that hera is one of the most self-focused and introspective people on the show. her loyalties and decisions are absolute, personal, emotionally driven. she's lonely; she always feels physically away from the others. she misremembers herself sitting at the table with the rest of the crew. she imagines what the ocean is like. there's nothing to say that hera having a body is the only solution for that, but i like what it represents, and i honestly believe it'd make her happier than the alternatives. if there's something to a symbolically narrowed focus that allows for a more solid sense of self... that maybe the way to make something of such a big, big universe is to find a tiny portion of it that's yours and hold onto it tight.

[inamagicalhallucination]

i dont get when ppl say "atsushi would be horrified" at something thats probably just another tuesday for him

[thewanderingzeppelin]

I'm alive!!!!

[cosmik-homo]

Honestly i really do know im being annoying with this but the logistics of swapping out Avon and Raistlin and watching what theh do is the greatest form of Playing With Dolls I've ever ever had. Its a serotonin treadmill. You've heard of watching a brilliant, dark tortured genius asshole slowly create his own downfall what about landing in the middle of such a slipperyslope and starting to turn it into an entirely different one. AND THERE'S PVP ALLOWED, one of my main options rn is Avon-as-Raistlin starts planning how to re-open the connection and either undo this or pass some more things between the worlds- and Raistlin-as-Avon is like FINDERS KEEPERS BITCH. Paying It (The Lichdom Curse) Forewards, im staying in your life and im winning at it, fuck off. And Avon's like, ex-fucking-scuse me?

[skaluli]

"this wulf fellow has choice language"

[thethingything]

shoutout to the nurse that didn't know we had a migraine, but specifically turned off the lights on the side of the recovery room where we were and kept talking in a really soft voice and saying we could close our eyes and take a nap if we needed to. she was very kind and gentle and made a point of trying to make sure it was a relaxing environment.

also during the procedure the surgeon kept telling us we were doing amazing and then when he visited us afterwards he said it again and then was like "no I'm being serious, I thought you'd be really anxious and you handled it incredibly well and were a great patient" but then he also offered to do our follow up appointment as a phone call so we don't have to use up too much energy because he knows we have ME/CFS.

and then there was the thing where I told the nurse I was getting overwhelmed by the sensation of the cannula in our hand and she was like "we usually keep it in for these reasons but you seem okay and if you feel like you can handle taking some pain meds and having something to eat then I'm happy to take it out for you" and then followed through with that. and got the pain meds for us and made sure food was brought up to the room shortly after.

I feel like there's so much to process but like our pain meds have worn off and we're still in less pain than we were before the procedure. I'm still waiting to see whether our brain decides to flip its shit later because sometimes dealing with a fuckload of triggers makes it do that even if we handled it really well and were completely fine at the time.

but anyway, I am really relieved and the hospital staff were really nice and took us seriously and made a lot of effort to make sure we were comfortable, and they were all really friendly and kept joking with us so it felt a lot more chill and nice. oh and they gave us some bright yellow grippy socks lol

[drivemysoul]

i think this guy im friends with is into me and im like. extremely uncomfortable

[br1ghtestlight]

starr is like is anybody else gonna manipulate this autistic teenage girl who is obsessed with being likeable and famous and Doesnt wait for an answer

[skitskatdacat63]

OHMYGOOOOOODDD CATIE YOUR LITTLE DOODLE ART OF BOY KING LIL SEB ITS GORGUS!!!! CANT WAIT FOR THE MORE HEADCANONS PLEASE DRAW MORE ITS BEAUTIFUL!!!!<3333

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU ELLE!!!!!!! 💕💕💕💕 HE IS MY PRETTY BOY 🤭 THANK YOU FOR INDULGING MY NICHE AUs 💕

I would like to draw a lot more :D I think it's a lot of fun to look at historical eras and try to make parallels and connections!(either through my OCs or my F1 boys) But god, when I look at old paintings for ref, the level of detail in the clothing is a bit scary... but I still think it's very interesting to do research into it and design it :)

Bit of historical rambling:

I said in the tags that this AU could really only be Vettonso, and I will explain why. I mean obviously at first, I was only comparing that statue to Seb because uhhhh he looks like Seb!!! But I researched a bit more into that era and guess what's happening at this point: The Spanish War of Succession. Which was when the Spanish Throne was up for grabs, and the two main candidates were a Spanish Duke and an Austrian heir to the Holy Roman Empire. See where I'm going with this?

But the Spanish Duke ends up getting the throne, rightfully, but the Austrian ends up becoming the Holy Roman Emperor even though he wasn't first in line, so who really won in the end!

Lmao I think this AU would end up being: well, guess how we can reunite the Austrian and Spanish bloodlines again....arranged marriage plot!! Canon Divergence in both the matters of them being replaced with Vettonso and also with the war not happening

God help me, I read way too much about the Habsburgs, I blame my trip to Austria 🤧 My German prof, who is from there, always seems kinda proud of the history so I wonder what he'd think if he knew I was looking into it this much....and bastardizing it