#in some endings they get along but i think this is 10 times funnier

[leafwateraddict]

i have two hands and they're used to hold Sans and Dust's

Couldn’t stop thinking of this picture from a different angle xD

[mario-art]

HELLO, you made such an interesting point in the tags of my post:

You know what’s funny? Is that Thrawn is really being turned into a “Machiavellian” type of villain, but what’s even funnier is that Machiavelli himself received this type of treatment. Now idk how much familiar you are with the 16th century author, but just know this: Machiavelli and “Machiavellian”, and whatever people can take from him, is heavily misunderstood (I actually really hate the use of the adjective, but perhaps that’s a story for another type). Now I know that Zahn wrote Thrawn based on a certain extent on the Machiavelli archetype (I remember reading it somewhere, pardon if I have no proofs), but I’m actually laughing hard thinking that as characters they are having the same treatment by popular media. Lemme explain: Machiavelli wrote the Principe not because “oh he cynic!1!🥶He mad!1🤬”. No. Machiavelli wrote what he wrote because he wanted to save Italy dalla Ruina, from its ruin. Machiavelli dreamed of a more compact and unified Italy. He had a vision and just as much as Thrawn, he wished to serve his people, Florence (in Thrawn’s case, the ascendancy) and Italy (which didn’t existed at the time).

And now, with Thrawn being reduced as you said in a villan without complex motifs, I can’t help but think how poetic is to be doomed to the same narrative as the figure who inspired your existence. Maybe this was planned all along, I don’t think so personally, but Thrawn is being oversimplified by Filoni the same way Machiavelli gets reduced as just a “pragmatic person” and “the ends justify the means” by everyone (don’t let me start on how wrong the quote is).

To sum up: Thrawn and Machiavellian are rhyming in the same direction in popular mainstream media.

This was my Ted talk, sorry in advance for possible writing mistakes, I just woke up✌️

Hiii! Thank you so much for the spontaneous Ted talk 😄😄 Your parallel between the Ascendancy and Florence+Italy is sooo on point, it blew my mind for a second. Now I have to delve deeper into it

Actually there was a period of time when I was really invested in this topic, I read his 10 letters, history of Florence +the Prince obviously and almost fell from a chair when they put him into Assassins Creed game, but now there're just small bits that I remember. Maybe it's time to refresh things

I didn't know that Zahn was actually inspired by Machiavelli. I'm new to this part of the fandom, so I haven't read anything about him or his working process, but after you mentioned it I'll take a note for the future. I must confess I learned who Thrawn was only during the Ahsoka show and due to the fandom. Like there were so many memes about him here on Tumblr, there's no way fans will hype some basic dude so much. And then my friend recommended the new trilogy

So yeah, it's such a pity that not 1, but 6 books of new material got completely ignored and the character simplified to what we've already seen so many times literally everywhere. You phrased it beautifully

I haven't read the old trilogy yet, heir to the empire, only know the plot in general, but I'm curious what exactly motivates Thrawn to rebuild the empire. And how the characterization of him differs between these trilogies. Is he mostly the same or did Zahn change the character after so many years like Terry Pratchett's Vetinari evolved from the very first version of the Patrician to his later works (I can't help comparing them after yesterday, though I hadn't done it before idk)

So yeaah... At least I'm happy that there're so many talented fans here and we can happily ignore whatever happens on the screen 🙃

[sporksaber]

If hiruzen (and danzo bc if he was alive itd be him or a puppet hokage he controlls) did die two decades earlier who would become the fifth hokage after Minato died? Like, Kakashi would be too young and inexperienced, they couldn't allow a clan head to do it, and the sannin had all dipped.

Depending on the timeline you use (bc I think there was retconning/unreliable information) orochimaru could have still been around. (If you use anko's age, he had to of been in the village when naruto was born. Anko is 24, was a genin between the ages of 10 to 12, and didn't catch orochimafu's attention until her first chunin exam. So it was at most 13 years before the start of naruto when she recieved her curse mark.)

Orochimaru becomes hokage and raises naruto au.

Cannon plays out with orochimaru still in the village until naruto is born, at which point there's some bullshittery that leads to hiruzen dying. As he dies he names orochimaru his heir under the condition he raises naruto (this condition may or may not be secret blood/soul binding jutsu enforced. Whichever ends up being funnier).

Orochimaru looks at little infant naruto and is like, I hate you and your father, and then carries him off to go claim his hat.

Now, I headcannon orochimaru as being kind of shit at administrative work entirely because he's never done it before and obviously none of hiruzen or Minato advisors want to support him. So he's not having a great time.

Cue his secret root research buddy danzo popping up to try to blackmail him. This lasts about two hours of orochimaru playing along before he kills him and is done with it.

At some point durring the early days of orochimaru settling into his position and dealing with the work that goes into rebuilding a destroyed village mikoto pops up at his house like where is my godson. And orochimaru let's her in and then she's like oh my madara you built him an actual nursery, I expected to find him in a closet. Orochimaru wats to be offended, but he did try that at first.

It is a number of months until orochimaru is able to properly get back into root, at which point, much to his disgust, naruto has started crawling. Orochimaru is still a shit person but he's been distracted away from his immortality bullshit. I'm going to say he was definitly dabbling in curse marks before this but whether or not he put one on anko yet is hard to decide.

Regardless, Anko is frequently forced to babysit naruto and is pissed about it.

But back to root, orochimaru has a moment where he decides that he's not hiruzen or Minato and the nice village act is unnecessary. So he just folds all the parts of root into the corresponding legitimate divisions of the village. Hiding shit is unnecessary when you're a military dictator. Are there division heads who are horrified by all the shit that was going on that they didn't know about (but they know hiruzen and most likly Minato did)? Yep. But what are they gonna say about it? (Especially when it's decades old?) So orochimaru does continue his experiments and some are genuinly horrible, although there is less done on orphans as a side affect of it not being as hidden anymore.

[A note before I continue, I'm not considering the madara rabbit goddess stuff here. It's too complicated and the kind of arc I personally always skip.]

Back to the Uchiha. The lack of people actively trying to screw them over means their social status in the village is much better than it was before. Itachi is probably still pulled into anbu very young, and I think he'd eventually become orochimaru's apprentice. He also hates orochimaru, but that's besides the point. Orochimaru allows it because he still doesn't like administrative shit and eventually plans to go back to his experiments full time. If he didn't have a point to prove he'd of bailed already. Itachi ends up in the assistant position fanon sakura often ends up in for tsunade and Kakashi where they make sure the paperwork is actually done and no extreme diplomatic issue pops up due to their sensei's shit personality.

Speaking of tsunade, she defs comes to visit after the first few years. She kind of ends up just getting into constant arguments with orochimaru (who probably uses toddler/very young child naruto to mess with her often) and reorganize the hospital before leaving again. Jiraya takes longer to visit. He probs had an argument with orochimaru early on, and jiraya is being stubborn while orochimaru knows he'll crawl back eventually.

What else do I need to cover? Naruto loves his wierd pale dad (who does not let him call him dad under any circumstances). He ends up living a very comfortable life. Orochimaru's parenting style is very science based so he never needs anything physically and all the emotional needs are met by mikoto and to a lesser extent anko and Kakashi (who was put on guard duty fir like a week when there was a kyubi kidnaping threat and then just never left). He gets to grow up besties with Sasuke, and does very well in the restructured academy (because the Canon academy doesn't really teach shit and orochimaru made it include harder and more spread out topics with the option of specialization) as he now has a support network to work with his needs.

Anyone who knows me knows sakura is my favorite character. She thrives under the new academy and is able to have all her strengths worked on to the point she's on par or better than naruto and Sasuke when they're put on a team together. (I imagine teams are planned I'm advance to a certain extent. I always find reasoning people give for sakura to be on their team really fun.)

Sasuke is still a dick, but without the trauma and with his mom to put him in his place. Also, like in the manga, he has a bit of reciprocation for sakura's crush (which isn't as strong here), but idk if they'd be endgame.

Orochimaru does come to care for naruto. Because it's naruto. But he is never really affectionate outright. (Naruto knows he loves him though. Which he does in his own way.)

I think im one for now. Enjoy.

[oluka]

Invincible Iron Man #10: Tony Stark and Emma Frost get married! Or do they?

It's Iron Man week again! And here are my thoughts about it.

Sorry, but I needed everyone to see this slightly disturbing panel. It's way better in context, though.

Issue #10 starts by giving us an update on Rhodey! It was a pleasant surprise for me, because I thought he would be kept to the side during the wedding plot. But no! The issue does not follow chronological order, so I'll make a not so quick detour to explain the current situation: issue #9 ends with Emma arranging a meeting between Tony and Wilson Fisk. In issue #10, Tony asks Fisk for help, and gets it. Why? Because Fisk's wife, Typhoid Mary, is a mutant, and she was forced off-world along with like 99% of all mutants during Orchis' attack at the Hellfire Gala. The thing is, the ones who were left on Earth think that the others are dead. In addition to the mutants and humans who were actually killed by Orchis, that means there are very few mutants left, and they're all out for blood. Fisk is too, since he thinks his wife is dead. So he and Tony come to an agreement: Fisk protects Tony (and Rhodey), because Tony promised he will defeat Feilong. But, well. It's Fisk. It probably won't end well.

Back to the present: Tony's the Black King of the Hellfire Club (to Fisk's White King), is desperately trying to build a new and improved suit of armour while pretending to be drunk all day, and scheming to defeat Feilong. Rhodey is still in prison and he's still being targeted by other prisoners on Feilong's orders. This time, Feilong even arranges a phone call between Tony and Rhodey while Rhodey gets attacked.

That's not very nice. Tony gets understandably mad, runs up to Feilong, about to do something very stupid like punch him in the face, but Fisk stops Tony and reminds him of their arrangement. Turns out that Fisk hired Sandman and the Living Laser to protect Rhodey in prison.

We get this nice panel of Rhodey telling Tony to win:

Nice! Tony and his allies are all determined to turn the tide of the war around, and they're doing all they can to get there.

So, what does Tony need to win? He needs a stronger armour (the stealth suit isn't powerful enough to beat sentinels), and he needs information from Feilong's mind. Which is why killing Feilong isn't a great idea right now. Unfortunately, Emma Frost (disguised as Hazel Kendal) just stepped foot in the Hellfire Club, and dreams of only one thing, revenge. So when Tony tries to stop her, this happens:

Ouch! Emma drops her ring, ready to kill Feilong and damn the consequences, but Tony begs her to reconsider.

Which is the exact moment, of course, when Feilong steps inside the room. And sees Tony on his knees in front of Emma with a ring in his hand. I think you know where this is going.

There isn't much choice for Emma and Tony: they need to get the inhibitor ring back on her finger so that the sentinels don't find her. And in front of Feilong, the only way to do that is if they make it look like a proposal. It's a desperate play, and very much unplanned. When I heard the news about the Stark-Frost wedding, I thought it would be some kind of political move on their part. I was wrong. This is a lot funnier, though.

And there you have it! Context for the panel I showed you back at the start of the post, and a very fake wedding! Between Tony Stark and Hazel Kendal. But the issue isn't finished, far from it. Tony and Emma now have to pretend. A lot. And smile at the cameras. A lot.

Tony has a nice sleazy chat with Feilong:

Look at this! This is every bad thing Tony could say about himself in ONE conversation! First: he pretends that he was only iron man for the adulation. That he didn't care about saving people. Second: he pretends to be drinking again, because "an addict gotta addict" and "booze is tastier". And third: he pretends he married Hazel (his assistant) because she was a potential HR nightmare, playing into the idea that he's just a jerk taking advantage of her. In one fell swoop, he implies that he isn't a hero and doesn't care about anything other than money and getting the next high (from alcohol).

I love it when Tony leans into the wrong assumptions that people have about him, but this is a lot. Ouch.

It gives us some very funny panels, though:

I need more of their banter, please and thank you. Look at their big fake pained smiles. I love this.

They decide to get married THE DAY AFTER. In Las Vegas. Where they go on fake dates. And then have a torrid night... of going out to do secret illegal stuff.

Tony steals some tech things from Zeke Stane's secret lab (nice cameo, Duggan), which is why they went to Vegas in the first place. And then the day of the wedding is finally here. Behold!

A literal red wedding! I have to admit, I love how committed they are to their bit. They're going full evil mode. I can't help but think of Tony Stark in the first Iron Man movie, at the casino scene, wearing his red shirt and sunglasses, looking every bit the douchy self-centered billionaire. Which he was, at the time. And here, we have Tony pretending to be all that. Down to wearing sunglasses indoors. I don't know, I really like it.

Let me make a comment about what Tony writes here: that this is the first and last time that he'll ever be married, and that Emma will break his heart. About the first part: this can either mean that he and Emma will stay married, or that he doesn't think he'll ever marry someone. The autobiographical notes are interesting in that sometimes they tell us what Tony thought in the moment, and sometimes they give us potential hints about future events, like we've seen in this issue. Will Tony stay married to Emma afterwards? I don't think so, but you never know. But if this is Tony telling us that he won't ever marry someone, then it's interesting too. I tend to view Tony as somewhat of a hopeless romantic: he falls in love very easily, and half the time it's with a woman who is only there to deceive him, or who turns evil. Think Sunset Bain, Indries Moomji, Cassandra Gillespie, Kathy Dare, etc. The other half of the time, his relationship doesn't work out because of his superhero life conflicting with his personal life. The biggest example is with Rumiko Fujikawa, one of his longest relationships. He couldn't commit enough because of his secret identity. And when it was revealed, it got better between them, to the point that he was about to propose. He had a ring already! And then a villain killed Rumiko while wearing the Iron Man armour. She died in his arms!!!!!! It was extremely sad, and no subsequent writer at Marvel ever mentioned Rumiko again. Which is baffling to me. She was one of his longest relationships. He was ready to spend the rest of his life with her. And her death isn't even mentioned once in all the years since then??? It makes me so mad. In my opinion, this should have been treated as the traumatic event it was. And in my personal canon, this is one of the reasons why he hasn't really dated people who aren't superheroines, since. With the exception of Amara Perera, but that didn't last long. Because Tony faked his death. Anyways. The two recent relationships Tony has had are with Janet and Patsy, both heroines. And he proposed to Patsy. To me, Tony really wants to have a lasting relationship, but both external and internal factors hinder him. His life is dangerous, and his non-hero friends either turn into superheroes themselves or die, so he can't really safely date. He has few friends, and almost all of them are part of the hero community (I could make a whole post about how Marvel has put aside most of his support cast and reduced it to essentially only Rhodey, but this post is already way too long). Which means he almost only interacts with heroes. Duggan made that same comment in issue #3, I think. It's sad. Give Tony more friends! Or make him interact with his existing supporting cast! We've seen what happens otherwise: he gets shoehorned into a relationship with someone he doesn't even know (Patsy...). But. Back to the proposal: Tony is someone who wants stability in his love-life. He never gets it, not for long. And now, he's married. But it's all fake. And he knows it, he knows it's just an arrangement, but he also knows that he's going to fall for Emma, and that she won't reciprocate. And he's okay with that. Because it has happened so many times already, that he cares more about the person he is with than they do about him. It's quite tragic. And also a fun inversion of what he's supposed to be, aloof heartbreaker playboy. God, I love all the intricacies of Tony's masks and armours vs who he really is.

Back to the issue. Tony and Emma/Hazel marry each other! They break into Feilong's mind to steal his secrets! Tony watches Howard's message to him and momentarily forgets all about his childhood abuse! We get a reference to Iron Man 2! Boo.

"You were my greatest collaboration" is somehow worse than "you were my greatest creation". This is possibly the only thing that I didn't like about the issue, though, so it's okay. The issue ends with Emma and Tony going on their "honeymoon", which is probably code for "secret mission to find the mutant metal mysterium". I really hope that Tony will build a kick-ass armour with it. It apparently has anti-magical properties, too.

And that's the end of the issue reached! Finally! Two random thoughts to go: 1. Tony is surprisingly okay with killing Feilong here.

There is this interesting comment about killing, a bit earlier in the issue:

Tony usually doesn't take a life if he can't help it, but he has indeed killed before. I do think he wishes he didn't "have to", though. But clearly he doesn't care about keeping Feilong alive. Is it because of how heinous the things Feilong has done against mutants are? Is it because Tony has been dealt one blow after the other, each more personal than the last, and he's lost his cool? I'd be interested to hear anyone's thoughts.

2. We get a Tony and Emma cameo in Ms. Marvel: The New Mutant (2023) #2. It's a cute reunion where Tony saves Kamala from Orchis drones, and also makes a lot of bad married jokes. Some not very appropriate for the audience.

Kamala, just turn this into a fanfic. And try not to think about it too hard.

If you've read this far, give yourself a pat on the back. See you for the next Iron Man week!

[coldflasher]

Fandom ask: DC LOT?

whew im so late responding to this one, i was sooo late clocking off work tonight 😭 anyway

Favourite Female:

There were many incredible women on Legends but I think Zari 2.0 cinches it for me!

Favourite Male:

John Constantine my beloved... im a sucker for a terrible bisexual man

3 Other Favourite Characters:

Leonard obviously... he'd have been my number 1 but I feel considering he was only really in season 1 he barely counts as being on the show in my opinion

Martin Stein!! I love that old man :( his death is still up there with the saddest tv deaths of all time for me

Aaaand I probably have to go with Mick for my number 3! His truly bizarre character development from violent pyromaniac to successful romance novelist with a clutch of alien babies born via ear might be one of my favourite twists of all time and it's genuinely so impossible to describe it to anyone who hasn't seen the show. Flash Mick and Legends Mick are absolutely not the same man but Legends Mick is so much fucking funnier

3 OTPs:

John and Zari Tarazi

Zarlie

Avalance (basic of me I'm afraid but what can I say I genuinely think they're really cute)

Notp:

Nate/Zari 💀 they make zero sense to me

Behrad/Astra (same, and also the writing for that ship is sooo dodgy cos one half of the writers' room was gunning for it and the other half didn't give a shit and you can really tell which writers were writing which episodes imo)

Funniest character:

Ava! Jes Macallan's comedic timing is unmatched and some of the funniest moments of the show hinge on her deadpan line delivery. Shoutout to "I wrote that review 😐", the episode where she writes Sara a card saying she's glad Oliver is dead and wishes Sara had never met him (I usually hate the "lesbian character despises her bisexual girlfriend's male exes" trope but I gave them a pass for that one cos it was genuinely very funny), and the time she just goes "goodbye!" and liea down in the middle of the road

That being said, the hardest I have ever laughed at a joke on Legends was the dad joke that Damien Darkh makes in the ep where John and Nora fake an engagement. It was during the peak of the pandemic. Me and my friend were locked in our tiny 2 bed student house rewatching all of Legends on my laptop because we didnt have a TV. we hadnt left the house in days because of all the restrictions, literally all we did for like a straight week or two was watch legends. and something about this dad joke ("Hi annoyed, i'm dad!") caught us so off-guard that it literally made us cry laughing, like that full-on painful, can't even breathe kind of laughter, for about 10 solid minutes. i can't even explain why it was that funny!! whenever i have seen that episode since, that joke has never got more than a giggle out of me. but at the time we were absolutely howling.

Prettiest character:

charlie is genuinely so beautiful (and having met maisie in person i can say that they are even more indescribably beautiful in person and have the most calming presence)

Most Annoying Character:

I don't want to jump on the Mona hate train cos poor Ramona got treated terribly by the fans but Mona was... not my fave. She got shafted by terrible writing. In my opinion her annoying characterization was 100% fixable with some good development but they just chose to write her out instead? Cowards.

Most badass character:

It has to be Sara, I feel!

Character I’d like as my BFF:

Honestly I'm not sure I'd personally get on with literally any of them 😭 I love them all but I'm not sure our personalities would gel. That being said I think I'd say Ray because he seems like an easygoing man and I think you'd have to actively try to not get along with him.

Female Character I’d Marry:

I'd say Charlie but she is too wild for me. She'd defo get bored and we'd end up having to divorce. I'd probably go for Ava... I'm not sure we'd be a good fit personality-wise but I appreciate her risk aversion and I need that kind of organized presence in my life. She'd probably also divorce me though, on account of the fact that i am not organized at all.

Male Character I’d Marry:

Again I feel Ray is the only safe choice here. John may be my fave but I would 100% end up dead if I married him because he has terrible luck with relationships. Also he tends to lash out and be horrible when he's experiencing difficult emotions and I am way too sensitive for that shit lmao. Also he smokes and that's a dealbreaker for me (I say, having previously dated a smoker. Must stick to my convictions next time.)

Character I hate/dislike/least like:

you know that meme that's like "I love all my children equally." *jumpcut* "I don't care for Michael" (or whatever the guy's name is)?

That's me with Behrad. They just shoehorned the guy in and I fear I need a few more personality traits other than "stoner" for me to be interested. They never gave Shayan anything to work with really and it's a shame cos Behrad could have been so interesting...

[aturnoftheearth]

Top 10 plants

im gonna list my garden plants bc i think it would be funnier :3

mad hatter peppers - so gentle to pick, HUGE producer, come back year after year (we didn’t plant any this year they just managed to stay alive and come back producing this year!!), and they’re basically like a little bell pepper substitute

watermelon - beautiful in theory, finicky in practice. they require SO much water that you’ll think you’re drowning them or “oh they’ll be fine for a day” and then boom. dead little watermelons. so many pretty vines though and the excitement of finding a little melon? beautiful.

sweet potato - look beautiful when growing (lots of vines) and then they flower when ready 🩷 also fun to dig up and see the sheer size of those bad boys and realize you now have 45 pounds of sweet potatoes and only one sweet potato fry recipe.

potato - although more versatile, they lose out to the sweet potato due to how many little babies can be hiding in the dirt at any time. you’ll think you’ve gotten every tuber and then boom. three more. gets kinda annoying.

onion - loooove to have, easy enough to grow, but they spend so long in the dirt and you see the green part and feel the urge to pull it up but u gotta refrain if u want a whole onion. and then u gotta dry them out before using- it’s a whole ordeal.

jalapeño/bell pepper - these are fine but it’s really frustrating waiting for bell peppers to ripen on the plant and those jalapeños can hiiiide. also bugs love the bells.

cucumber - i LOVE cucumbers but you wouldn’t think they love me the way their vines HURT!! but they’re so beautiful…… especially when they climb up our little cattle post we made into a makeshift trellis and complete The Cucumber Tunnel :D

tomato - these can also be really finicky and require a lot of water- but not too much! and a lot of sun- but not too much! and some varieties get diseases so easily. no worse feeling than seeing a beautiful red tomato (after they finally ripen) only to realize they have blossom end rot :(

squash - just like the cucumbers, these little shits HURT. but worse than the cucs? they don’t delicate drape from vines, easy enough to pick. no no no- they’re sneakily tucked amongst leaves larger than my head with little pricklies alllll along the stems. but they’re so delicious that we make do with the pain of picking 🧡

okra - love them but they are the bane of my existence 💚 so hard to pick (you NEED a cutting tool), great producers but get too tough if they get too big, hard to tell if they’re gonna be too stalk-y if they’re in the middle ground of ‘not quite small enough but not really too big” and ants LOVE to climb those damn stalks. OH! and the stalks get soooo tall they either break from the wind or im dying trying to reach them.

[thedecoy-if]

I was just going to lurk, as I do with most IF blogs, but rude anons are rude, so to make up for it, have my ecstatic joy. (And, uh. Contrary to how I type, I'm super excited about The Decoy. Also it's after midnight now and I'm slightly tipsy. Apologies. And more apologies for the novella here.)

I love the isekai premise in all forms, and the premise you've come up with of being S's doppelganger is great! I've never seen it done before, so I'm really looking forward to plot.

I'm going to have so. much. fun. tormenting Azriel. Like, I usually wouldn't, but he just seems to be the sort of person others derive joy from fucking with. (Might I ask if MC could have pepper spray or a tazer? Might just be me, but I was always more comfortable with my pepper spray when working night shifts.)

Jonathan! We had some similar issues with one of my siblings years ago (thankfully never got to juvie type issues), so I felt for MC there. How involved is Peter in daily life of the family? Is he checking in on his middle sibling to make sure they're coping well with being the Responsible Adult? How long has their mom been "checked out"?

I love Clementine and Kenji. Even if they never reappear in the story (and I hope they do), they solidify MC's place in the world, outside of Family And Job.

And the time skip! I like how you did that, gives the reader a sense of the hours going by.

Azriel and that reaction to the sour candies... I love it. It's the imagery of a startled dog that gets me.

0/10 hospitality. You want a favor from MC, so you lock them in a dungeon? Great planning and foresight there.

I love Drenwin and Azriel's back and forth. I think that we'll get along just fine - when it comes to needling Azriel, anyway.

I also love that their capital is called Helena - it's my middle name, and given that I usually play as a fictional version of myself, it's very funny to me.

Okay, attacking Azriel is now my favorite choice. But - how would he deal with pepper spray?

I did the walk with Drenwin and Theoden, and with Namara and Theoden. It was funnier with Drenwin, but Namara's was more comfortable. The vibe I'm getting is that she's not willing to pretend to be MC's friend, or to be nice so that MC will help - that when she is kind to MC, it'll be because of the relationship built over time.

And yes, I did go back and replay the demo for this novella that I now present to you. You deserve it, Mae. Ignore the idiot anons, do what you do, go forth and prosper.

Also - I saw that this IF - or at least Drenwin, Azriel and Namara - are based on a novel you wrote? Any chance we could get snippets of that at some point? I love source material...

TL;DR Excitement! Good writing! World building! Love the ROs! Idiot anons are idiots!

Firstly, thank you so much for this! Your interest is so sweet and I'm glad you liked the demo ahhhh and don't apologize for the novella, I'm so glad you liked it enough to be interested!

(Might I ask if MC could have pepper spray or a tazer? Might just be me, but I was always more comfortable with my pepper spray when working night shifts.)

I didn't think of that (which seems wild in hindsight) but maybe in the next update I can add something of that sort and instead of the shard of glass scene, the flavor text can change!

How involved is Peter in daily life of the family? Is he checking in on his middle sibling to make sure they're coping well with being the Responsible Adult? How long has their mom been "checked out"?

We get more into this as the story progresses, but Peter has pretty much checked out in his own way. He drops by on the occasion, but he never checks up on MC in the way it matters. Part of is it guilt for leaving home and leaving MC behind to deal with everything, and part of it is just fear. He doesn't want to end up like their mother. He can barely stand to look at her. The probem is that he's become exactly what he feared. He shields it with layers of overprotection and care.

Their mom has been checked out since their father remarried. He's been absent for a long time but when he propped up with a wife, that's when she went full spiral. She never got over him. It's been about a year or so now. Her kids remind her too much of him and she's bitter she had to do the parenting alone. She sort of resents her kids (and they all know it.)

Okay, attacking Azriel is now my favorite choice. But - how would he deal with pepper spray?

Azriel isn't exactly, ahem, human so the pepper spray won't do much damage, I fear. Maybe just bit a brief nuisance haha. Also he's dealt with worse injuries, the stinging won't bother him much.

And yes, I did go back and replay the demo for this novella that I now present to you. You deserve it, Mae. Ignore the idiot anons, do what you do, go forth and prosper.

Thank you so much, this is so nice of you. I'll go currently cry happy tears in the corner now.

Also - I saw that this IF - or at least Drenwin, Azriel and Namara - are based on a novel you wrote? Any chance we could get snippets of that at some point? I love source material...

Yes! For now, a bit of tidbit:

In the source material, there's a character named General Hode who is actually the head of the operation and Azriel, Drenwin, Namara are under his direct command. Azriel is more demure in the story, a bit more of a push over. S In the game, General Hode was killed and Azriel is a bit tougher. Azriel was much more likeable in the novel hahaha but that's in part because he didn't have to have Eterna on his shoulders.

Your comments on the characters are so spot on, especially Namara's. I'm so glad you liked it and I can't wait for you to see more! Thank you <33

[thesinglesjukebox]

babyMINT - "Hellokittybalahcurri3 hellokitty美味しい"

We head into week two of Amnesty, and Crystal introduces us to Taiwanese reality TV...

[7.59]

Crystal Leww: Sixteen is now nearly nine years old and it finally feels like we've achieved peak competition show in Asian pop, with three of the big four labels in K-pop coming out with their own versions this last year and increasingly more depressing formats. It's unlikely that any group from NEXTGIRLZ will become the next TWICE (or even I.O.I... or even Kep1er...) but one of the joys of operating out of a smaller market in Taiwan is that it's possible to get wilder. It's possible that TPOP Entertainment and Wildfire Entertainment actually wanted a commercially viable group to debut but handing over control for babyMINT to producer AF resulted in something way funnier and something actually thrilling. "Hellokittybalahcurri3 hellokitty美味しい" is stuffed full of like twenty different ideas -- like after the endless debates of "what is hyperpop," AF said "fuck it, let's put them all into one song." This is like video game music, cheerleading music, meme music, regular pop music, idol music, rage music, and rave music all in one. Every moment in this is absolute nonsense (my favorite is the babytalk rapper in the 2nd (?) verse (?) imploring you to eat your green vegetables), a maximalist embrace that maybe nothing that is "good" matters, and yet, more than once this year, I have found myself singing along to "baby, please don't 放开手!" babyMINT makes me feel young again. [9]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: I broke down in tears when I first heard this song. The only way to explain my reaction is that it's similar to when you reflect on a relationship you have with someone you love, and how beautiful it is that you've come to understand who they are over many years and in many circumstances. They've remained inspiring, their presence indelible, and you know that there's still more you'll come to appreciate. This song is like that but with the past decade-plus of idol music. [10]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: One of those weird cases where getting too specific about any particular aspect of this would ruin the fun of experiencing "hellokittybalahcurri3 hellokitty美味しい" live for the first time -- it's the best time I've had listening to a pop song in... maybe ever? [9]

Will Adams: The first 90 seconds was some the most exhilarating music I've heard this year -- MAKE. IT. FASTER. -- and then it switched into some alternate universe Ariana Grande x Iggy Azalea song. They went back to the hyper-tempo, but by then the momentum was fully killed. [5]

Katherine St Asaph: I'm not sure what to make of this as a whole track, and I'm not sure I'm meant to. So, by parts: The part of this that sounds like the OST to Yoshi's Cookie

Michelle Myers: Judging idol pop as music, in isolation from its visual elements, will always feel a little wrong to me. The live stage of this track is a [10] for me. From the bored flossing that starts this performance to the headbanging chaos at the end, the choreo is even more delightful than the music supporting it. Listening to this on my headphones, I can't help but hear the seams between the disparate sections of this song. Linlin's rap, which feels deft on stage, sounds rushed and sloppy here. I'm nitpicking, but only because this song absolutely slaps. [9]

Rachel Saywitz: I could care less about the memeability of "hellokitty" -- it's too sincere to be a parody, and while I do find the earnestness preferable, the initial excitement I had for this ridiculously conceived track went away when I realized this wasn't a full-on girl group concept, but a costume of sorts as babyMINT attempts various musical styles to win a competition show, wherein supposedly, their official concept is still not self-determined. But I also think that performativity makes it possible to fully sink into the track's asinine lyrics and abrupt shift changes: these are girls playing a role, and doing so with a sprightly wink. There's no joke to be in on, just a part to play. [6]

Taylor Alatorre: Hmm... come to think of it, being in the beginning stages of a relationship is sort of like being initiated into a new and unfamiliar subculture, whether that be otaku maid cafés, retro arcade games, idol groups themselves, or... boba tea, I guess. Why has no one ever thought to put it like that before? Bonus point for the "ohmygah!" shout actually being transcribed as "omega," which adds a theological tinge to what must be the sweetest-sounding memento mori ever committed to record. [9]

Brad Shoup: A few years ago I wrote a career overview of Dave Matthews Band, because I do not back down from a challenge. In putting it together, I gained an appreciation for just how haunted their music is by death. Not loss, necessarily -- though that's a symptom -- but the sense that a lifespan is short, so eat, drink, etc. For them, it's a bittersweet realization, not something to rage against like some of their arena-filling elders. babyMINT spend more time on the eating and drinking, and I do appreciate them vocallzing a thought ("I will die, you will die") I've had about 10 to 20 times a day for the past three years. But it's cheap heat. [5]

Alfred Soto: This deejay set/Stars on 45 approach to tempos and modes is fun for all ages, as I demonstrated last night by keeping it in the background while my nieces opened gifts. [7]

Ian Mathers: Hmm. I might need to up the amount of shitposting I consume. [7]

Kayla Beardslee: You know some shit's about to go down when the girl groups hit you with "Are you ready for this?" and then introduce a silly-sounding phrase over deceptively chirpy synths. Brace yourself for brain melting; you didn't need those thoughts anyway. [8]

Micha Cavaseno: A manic sugar-rush of getting pranked, viciously blending periods of pop in a way that puts the "hyper" back in "hyperpop." I lost count of genre-jumps at a certain point, spotting at least five different songs where my review and consideration would be skewed only to get confronted with another one, so my sense of trying to provide an average based on any of these things is utterly overwhelmed. I'll never figure out which of them locked me on target and killed me at this rate. [8]

Nortey Dowuona: The first refrain is sped up. For what purpose I can't really ascertain. For one, unless you have good breath control, you can't keep and you might even fall off the rhythm, especially once it speeds up during the chorus. The pre chorus is as direct as one could be, with "I will die, you will die, baby/What a life, what a life/Why don't we just right now/Step out to the balcony and put everything aside? Never mind," ending with a reminder to not worry but to instead eat curry and drink boba instead. But the song completely splits apart, mixing up what it's supposed to be done with curry and boba until it shatters completely and comes to a stop. Guess I'll drink this curry? [7]

Dorian Sinclair: This fall, many reviews of Super Mario Bros. Wonder made the same basic point: there are multiple mechanical ideas in that game that could sustain an entire platformer on their own, but in the context of Wonder are picked up and cast aside within a single level. That kind of creative "wastefulness" is in some ways the ultimate flex -- you don't need to explore the full potential of every good idea you have, because there's always another one right around the corner. "hellokittybalahcurri3 hellokitty美味しい" has something similar going on: there are at least three killer melodic hooks, and that's without considering other standout elements (that guitar skitter! the rhythmic use of the title phrase!), any one of which could be developed into a whole other song. There's something thrilling about the speed and profligacy with which babyMINT chew through motifs here; I just hope they're holding some back for future releases. [8]

Michael Hong: babyMINT were fascinating on arrival: it wasn't just the stylized fashion of their name, or that they were under HIM International Music -- the company that formed Mandopop's only great girl group, S.H.E -- their debut stage saw five members, including former Cherry Bullet member LinLin (cannot think about this fucking group without thinking about Bora being villain edited on Queendom Puzzle -- compliment] -- singing in a mixture of Mandarin, English, and Spanish in a manner that was both prim and tipsy over a Brazilian funk beat. Tuning in weekly yielded more rewarding thrills: "R!ng R!ng R!ng" is cursed doll drum 'n' bass and their Jersey club remix of "Nobody Loves U :(" dials up the jejune silliness of Karencici's original. By this point, I was already all-in on babyMINT, a group helmed by a producer A.F who was weird as hell -- he donned the alias of DJ Banana Hammock for their "R!ng R!ng R!ng" performance and committed to the bit each week -- but had admittedly forgotten to check out "hellokittybalahcurri3 hellokitty美味しい" until two in the morning. I conked out with no recollection of the track -- it's pure sensory overload, impossible to retain any feeling on your first listen other than "Cool Japan!" and that this AF guy should seek help -- the only evidence that I heard it was a series of texts that said, "oh my god... the new babyMINT song is so... i'm crying they are so good. i'm obsessed." I've written about how all of it is primed for memeability -- how the "now, speed up" sets my heart aflame, how the final screams of "drink curry, eat boba" are one of the few things in music that could ever elicit a laugh from me, how LinLin is perfectly charming on her silly little nonsensical rap -- but the best part is that all of this is directed towards this lust for life. "I will die, you will die baby, what a life, what a life, why don't we seize the moment?" ponders Lyu Hsi-yan, what should be nihilistic transforming into something celebratory. "I want to stay cute everyday!" she cheers earlier in the track. The two lines work hand-in-hand, as if each searching for some form of optimism. It's an idol version of AF's song for some competition show and hearing them side-by-side is just proof that this guy knows exactly how to make music for idols. This week, I've been giggling to myself over the line "每天多吃一點蔬菜... 這才是我的菜," the latter part of which is just such an absolutely, unbelievably dumb pun. I play it in the car, to elicit groans, to cheer myself up. I catch myself muttering things from this damn song every day. babyMINT continued to offer surprises after this one. There's this disgusting way one member from the group CRIMZON sings her line "be my bae honey, I can be your bunny" (compliment) on "DAAAAAMMMN" (and the way it builds to some club breakdown just to go nowhere is so funny), "GrAb Me If U CaN" is the last shred of hyperpop I'll ever need to hear, "Ocean Bomb" is a delightfully cute post-NewJeans two-step number until LinLin raps about "Spongebob on her back," and grand finale "2023: BBMeme Odyssey" is so delightfully weird and stupid and fun that it sent me into hysterics on first watch (please just click on the video and watch it, I don't know how to describe what happens here; also Crystal asked me if they cut the one girl's hair just so she could be the prince and it makes me laugh every time I watch this fucking performance). They're the Mandopop artist who define the year, a group who were exactly as game as they needed to be to their producer's weirdest antics, who knew exactly how weird to be to be memeable without playing themselves down. [10]

Iain Mew: When I think of the most successful several-songs-in-one hits ("Biology", "I Got a Boy"), I think of density of hooks and dizzying switches in style. I also think of how they have one melodic hook sweet enough to be first among equals, a unifying glow cast by those highs with "The way that we walk/The way that we talk..." and "I got a boy meotjin/I got a boy chakan". Babymint take things further in the stylistic clashes, with some aggressive bosh and forceful rapping, not to mention ending in pretty much the same full-on fashion as The Knife's "Full of Fire." They do have a hook of more than equivalent sweetness, the "I will never let you go" section like "Super Shy" minus the shyness. That can't take on the same role for the song though, because there just isn't room to, not with the title section drilled in so hard before it even gets that far. So they play a very different game, seeding that phrase throughout but making it fit in with every different section anew. It's audacious enough to make for a spectacular first listen, which makes sense in the context that it's made for performance, and that they are not stars at the top of their game but a new group trying to grab attention. It works better than I expected for further listens because there's a thematic trick to match the musical one. They say up front that they're going to teach us a secret, and so it follows us through however far we go, presented like a universal cheat code. Everything dies, but babyMINT have taken these words and scattered them in time and space and maybe they will lead us through. [7]

[Read and comment on The Singles Jukebox ]

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Grimm 1x01

*Hank is a confirmed Shutterbug.

*Hank has been married 4 times. I always forget.

*Nick seeing his first woge in the first minute of the episode is a Good Call. Also, my heart at him buying that ring for Juliette. The ring Juliette will never wear.

*Also Nick the profiler. AU where Nick, Audrey, and Will are just cops together and Lucy is the local history professor who gets caught up in their cases.

*"I didn't know you couldn't sing." Their friendship my HEART.

*The Time Wars crossovers are turning into the Big Four of Back in the Day.

*Oooooo the aunt Marie introduction! Played like a villain! Like Ashley! Saving the reveal for later on!

*"Do you have a photo of her?" "Uh, yeah, on my iPhone." Literally Nobody would say it like that.

*.... Nick and Lucy could have met taking Carol and Marie to treatments. .... Except for the whole "different states" thing.

*Marie couldn't move for a week when she saw her first Wesen. We know from later on that she was 11. My HEART.

*Nick killing his first Wesen with the power of "shooting him a whole bunch of times"

*THE KEY. Ohhhh the keys my beloved storyline.

*AU where Meg transfers out of Old City to get a from the Weirdness and ends up working in a Portland hospital. And then her first patient is Aunt Marie.

*Might just let four narratives entwine irrevocably and change each other forever. Idk.

*Renard looking out for Nick... I know he has Ulterior Motives and everything, but to a point, he really does treat his men as his People, under his protection. I think there's some sincerity in that.

*Cannot get over the fact that one of the biggest images from the ads for this-Juliette running through the woods in a red dress-is from a three second dream that has no bearing on the show ever.

*"I think it was just a cat." Juliette, having no idea that a cat will change the course of her life forever.

*Oh, right, Marie was a librarian at one point.

*Hank being the one to figure out that the girl went through the park.... Is very important to me. Nick knows people. But Hank's not just someone who tags along. He's a really good cop.

*R.H. Robin Howell. Red (riding) Hood. I'd forgotten how Specific this show gets sometimes.

*Monroe and Nick's first meeting was so bad, guys. So, so bad. I always forget how truly bad it was. I remember the tackle through the window, but that was the second meeting. The first... Oof.

*"And by the way, you're paying for that window."

*"You people started profiling us over 200 years ago." Given how the show progresses, this has the same mood as that post about Julius Ceasar dying well over 70 years ago. Or was that Abraham Lincoln? Anyway, that.

*"No, I'm here because of the little girl." And "We're not things." . Very similar to Will's "You said you were tracking the boy," and later, Magnus' "I'm not sure how he'd feel about you calling him a thing." Just. Similar.

*Okay but Monroe and Nick's dynamic is made 10x funnier by the fact that Monroe is 10 years older than Nick. Just. Very Tired Guy Does Not Get Paid Enough For This Nonsense. (But yes, obviously he's going to help. Just, for goodness' sake, could you please learn to go to bed at a reasonable time?)

*See, Hank and Joe have very similar roles: The grounded partner to contrast the one who sees the Impossible. The voice of reason to keep the out there one grounded. But whereas Joe is basically a paper cutout designed to look ridiculous while Will looks smart, Hank is a really intelligent man and an excellent cop.

*Wait Adalind really just straight-up tried to kill Marie right in front of Nick? Like, you couldn't have waited until visiting hours were over? You were disguised as a nurse, so it wouldn't have caused you problems.

*"Let's hope she doesn't wake up first." * Immediate cut to Marie opening her eyes* Brilliant episode ending tbh.

[luminouslollies]

Ok, I suck at this kind of loooooooooong post and I hate spamming. But, come on, I was going to drown in my own jumbled thoughts if I didn't mention this to anyone!

I made that post up there half joking and half not. I was hoping that in the future someone, purely by chance, would take the idea and execute it well. And… well, right now I decided to make some additions out of boredom and ended up developing this faster than the TvBucket crap I'm doing for AO3.

First: I'm taking as my main base the most complete draft available (Charlie's Chocolate Boy, from '61 or so). You know: The Vanilla-Fudge Room, The Warming-Candy Room, Black Charlie, Easter Room, etc.

It's an AU, not a carbon copy of what Roald Dahl came up with. Initially, I wanted Charlie to have just a cameo, but the truth is, I liked the scheme that included him much better. I don't want to give him a bad demeanor per se. His situation is more dire than in the final book, and I suppose he would be so dazzled by the factory that he would act foolishly or on impulse. Something like the Mike of '71.

Second: what I did decide is that none of the brats are the ones in the final version, nor are their beta versions too similar. I plan to bring Marvin Prune into this, but I didn't want to use a famous version or the possible “canonical” version that ended up being the Miranda Mary Piker we saw in “Spotty Powder”. I was watching “Rocky Horror Live” (2015) today, and…. I guess I liked Eddie too much? (originality is not my forte and that sucks, I know). Anyway, I want to leave him with the ego by which most identify him. I may include some characteristics of the Broadway Mike. He's a cool guy, but I don't recommend hanging out with him.

I think what I enjoyed developing the most is the contest. In these drafts, you may already know that Mr. Wonka sent 10 tickets for a weekly run, I think on Saturday. I assume that the kids who found a ticket during the course of that week would get in, and this was because everyone was crazy to get into the factory.

There is one detail that I added and it is fascinating to me how it turned out: there is a high probability that not all golden tickets will be found by Saturday. If you find one during or after Saturday, even if you stumble upon last week's when the next week has started, you can still personally go to the factory and “redeem” it for a free supply of candy that will last you about a month.

Besides, it's a local contest, and this is a small town. Almost everyone will already know each other when the time comes. There are a few additions such as no child seems to have any flaws until something along the way brings them to light; i.e., something similar to how no one's name was mentioned until they got in trouble. And there are no interviews or anything like that, so Wonka doesn't know them and doesn't plan anything, and surely their behaviors take him by surprise… at least at first. And as the tour progresses, the rooms become progressively less “flashy”. Compare the Chocolate Room to the Warming-Candy Room, for example.

By the way, if it's weekly visits, can we say there have already been accidents? Check this out: at school, Charlie hears rumors about a girl who has supposedly turned blue and moved away. This could be funnier but I don't have the head for it. Oh, right: Wonka has a son and I don't want the nine-story candy store ending, so Charlie has it pretty tough (ups).

While I'll try to create flashy personalities for certain characters, or keep them with other names, I simply (also) suck at names, so I'll just use the pre-existing ones. Aside from that, I'm having trouble with gender balance. I have eight children and only two are female. Maybe I'll look for a beta reader in the future, but frankly I don't have much faith in this.

Anyway, I'm still more or less on this and, if anyone wants to… I don't know, adopt the concept, that's fine with me.

[la-appel-du-vide]

04•10•24

I met Lauren Graham!!! I MET Lauren Graham! Like... she looked at me. And she spoke to me. And she held my hand! I have to keep saying it to myself over and over again, because it's hard to believe it really happened!

After we drove to Denver to see her book tour show, and I wasn't able to get a Meet and Greet ticket, I was manifesting additional dates and locations so I could have another try. And she CAME TO SLC! I jumped on immediately to get my ticket, and scored a Meet and Greet pass this time! So I've been looking forward to this for a couple of months now.

I had to go straight from work, so I didn't look quite as cute and great as I'd hoped, but I tried my best. As I pulled up to get in line, a girl in the GA line offered me $400 for my Meet and Greet. It was slightly tempting, but no, I knew I'd be sad if I missed my one chance to meet one of my all-time favorite celebrities! She was so desperate though that by the time we were going in, she was calling out an offer of $700! I couldn't believe no one took her up on it - especially boyfriends that were obviously just getting dragged along!

We did security, and then got in line to go in one at a time. I was basically at the end of the line, so I had to wait a long time. I was so nervous, as expected. So many butterflies, wondering how to act, how not to be shy, how to seem normal... Especially since I was all alone!

When it was my turn, I went in and she was so nice and sweet, even if the conversation was brief. I told her I'd driven up to see her in Denver, but that I was so glad she came to SLC so I could get the chance to meet her! She said she hoped that the SLC was better and funnier than the Denver show, and then told me she'd never been here before, only to Park City. We laughed about how they're basically the same thing, because they both have mountains. And then we talked about the creepy little church in Denver the event was held at. And then basically we took our picture and that was that! I wish I could have spent more time with her - there are so many questions I'd ask her if I had more time. But she took my hand and held it like my grandma used to, and I think that's so dang cute. Also, she spoke directly to me, and given the fact that she herself talks me to sleep every night, it was surreal and sweet haha.

I got another signed copy of Have I Told You This Already? as part of the experience and then went out to get seats and wait for B to get in. He got a ticket to the show, just not the Meet and Greet! Having the VIP ticket was nice, because we got a seat front and center, without having to get there super early! I submitted two questions for Sam Pancake (her friend and moderator) to ask her - one the same as last time (What's one thing on your bucket list?) and one new one (Have you gotten a sneak peek at Kelly Bishop's new book?). And they ended up using BOTH of my questions! Out of the hundreds that were written. It was my lucky night!

She looked beautiful in her green dress (green must be my lucky color because she's worn it for both of my shows). Lauren and Sam are so charming and so funny, and again, the show is just not long enough. I would like to hear them speak regularly - they need a podcast or something.

Some highlights:

Sam, reading a submitted question: "Bad Santa is a Christmas classic."

Lauren: "Not for my Dad, it isn't."

hahahah

She told a story about getting a massage at a health retreat, and being upside down and naked, obviously, when the masseuse came in and said, "They say that a lot of celebrities come here, but I've never seen one. You look familiar though, do I know you from somewhere?" And she talked about how she was very concerned at what part of her he was recognizing, and just wanted to get on with the massage, so she just said, "Can we talk about this later?!"

They asked both of my questions, and her bucket list item was to take her dad to Japan, or on some kind of active/cycling trip one more time, now that he's getting older. And she said she hasn't read Kelly's book, and she's scared of what could be in there, because Kelly has no filter haha.

She recommended chicken nachos from Red Iguana (gotta try) and the book Tom Lake (I've already purchased it to read haha).

She said that getting to play Lorelai was special that even if they never work again (meaning her and Sam), it would be ok, and he was so offended hahah.

Overall, so much fun. I'm so grateful to have gone again, and for the very happy memory I'll have forever of talking to her one-on-one. I heart LG.

[katapotato55]

psychonauts theory/analysis/headcannon: an analogy on neurodivergence?

spoilers for psychonauts, the rhombus of ruin and maybe psychonauts 2 these games are amazing please play at least the first game. the first game is only like 10 USD on steam and it is often on sale for waaay less. it is a very good underrated game. also TW: mentions of childhood abuse and personal experiences. you have been warned.

I will mostly talk about the first game. Yes i am aware i am probably overthinking it. I think we all know the first game isn't the most accurate to mental illnesses. The original game came out 18 years ago and was meant to be a dark comedy game rather than a sensitive depiction of mental health. I am not going to go into that aspect because time have changed since it released and I think it is redundant, but if you want my opinion I thought most of the jokes were hilarious. the first game wasn't meant to be a good depiction, so i take it for what it is and laugh along with it. I think the fact I relate to some of the characters makes it funnier personally.

but no, today I want to bring up a head cannon/theory thing: being a psychonaut is a metaphor for being nerodivergent. bear with me, here is my reasoning.

1- Raz's opening speech in the first game. "you were born with a special gift, but the people around you treat it like a curse. your mother is afraid of you, and your father looks at you with shame in his eyes" "back home your powers make you a loner, an outcast, a circus freak, but in this dojo, in this psychic dojo, they make you a hero." no explanation needed, this speech touched me in a way even if it is a bit corny. This bit here establishes that being psychic is still very taboo in this universe, as if being psychic is seen as something wrong with you rather than just an aspect you were born with. In this point in the games timeline, being psychic is slowly becoming less taboo and more of a valuable asset to society.

2- Raz's family a little bit ago i made a list about how much i hated the interns from the second game and how Agent Forsythe's actions against Raz felt a tad forced. I do not feel the same way about Raz's family. why ? well for one Raz has known them his whole life, and that "psychics are bad" came from SOMEWHERE. It is also implied that a lot of the biggotry came from his mother more than his father oddly enough. i am about to say something that is not for the faint of heart. please be advised. are you ready ? Are you sure you are ready ? meat circus. OK good now take a minute to calm down from your traumatic flashback from reading those words and then continue. The end level of the first game depicted Raz's struggle with his father. Raz was constantly under the impression that he was hated because of how his parents talked about being psychic. then Raz's father told him what he REALLY felt about his son and what was really happening. this hit me hard. some nerodivergent disorders are genetic, like in my case ADHD. and when a genetic disability exists and the family does not know they have it, then often times it is harder to get help due to prejustice. it is the "oh we are normal! i acted just like you when i was your age!" mentality. my whole life i have been told that "you are not [slur for disabled that starts with R]! you just need to get better at school! stop being lazy!", and then later i would learn one of my parents was just like me and hid it for their own safety. i can totally see "fortune teller" as a kind of slur for psychics truth be told. imagine being told as a child you are not a "fortune teller" and that "fortune tellers" are bad, and you being told that makes you feel like something is wrong with you. You feel like no one in your family loves you. It could be that Raz's father hid his psychic abilities from Raz's mother so he wouldent be scrutinized, while also hurting about what happened to his family in the past. It was the "fortune tellers" fault he was like this, so how could he love himself for being one? A headcannon I have was that Raz's mother already had pretty problematic thoughts about psychics, so when Raz's father discovered he was psychic he hid it away due to how it hurt his family and how they could react. It is established that psychics can find out they are psychics way later in life, such as mila's memory of the orphanage burning down and her suddenly being able to hear the voices of the dying children. This is somewhat accurate to adult diagnosis in my opinion.

3- Whispering rock could possibly be a special needs camp note: there is a difference between programs that teach you how to cope with your disability, and programs that basically abuse kids. Fuck autism speaks, fuck ABA programs, and a big fat special middle finger to Judge Rotenberg Educational Centre (don't google it unless you want to be angry). this bit here is a little obvious, but i thought i should point out that in the end of psy 2, agent forsythe mentioned teaching raz's family how to use their abilities safely. as I mentioned, some people find out they are psychic later in life, which is pretty common with nerodivergent disorders. It could be that whispering rock is a way to teach kids how to cope early in life so they don't struggle with it worse later on. this one is a bit of a stretch i will admit, but i got something way stronger next up:

4- Dr Loboto Dr loboto came from an emotionally neglectful home. His parents would remove toys from him and he would use his psychic abilities consistently to act out. this is normal for an emotionally neglected kid. his parents did not want a child, they wanted a perfect "doll" to do as they wanted. they loved the idea of a perfect ideal family and not actually having a child. and so they lobotomized him. Lobotomization was very common in the 50s. It was seen as a cure-all for all mental issues. housewife acting out? being her in to get snipped. child acting out? ice pick procedure. 9 times out of 10 it would end up making existing issues worse, or cause said patient to turn into a vegetable, or even death. If you want a famous case, see president JFK's sister. This hits me hard personally in multiple ways. I can see this as being a reflection of how people would "cure" their autistic kids by getting them lobotomized, or how in the modern day we still try to "cure" kids by abusing them and hurting them. Sometimes it wasn't even nerodivergent kids, just acting out is enough for people to do this! One of the reasons why i was diagnosed as an adult was the fear of doctors and teachers wanting to dope kids up to keep them quiet, god forbid an 8 year old is a little energetic, adhd or not. dr loboto is a traumatized broken man that was forcibly given brain damage because his parents loved the idea of a child rather than the child they made. I am lowkey kinda proud that he became a dentist to spite his father.

overall, i have heard people mention that psychonauts is a metaphor for being LGBT. I can see it, but honestly i feel as though the metaphor for nerodivergence is more strong. truth be told: we have a very similar history of bigotry, gaslighting, and abuse. we are siblings you and I, and our brotherhood will last generations. We are brothers and sisters and neithers in our pain. anyways that is my theory, let me know what yall think! I know i can come off as a little aggro but i genuinely would love to hear your thoughts!

[matsbarzal]

Could I request fluff #6 with Jack Hughes?

fluff #6. "you've been my best friend for 10 years, why not change it to husband and wife?"

pairing: jack hughes x fem!reader word count: 1.4k

It was always easy to love him. It was easy to love the friendship he initiated all those years ago, and it was even easier to admit your love bore a little deeper when he admitted his feelings were more than friendly about you. A decade long friendship had blossomed into something more, and it was something neither you, nor Jack had any arguments against.

Jack always brought up your ‘friendiversary’, and you couldn’t help but get a laugh out of the pure joy he always bestowed on you every time he mentioned it. The new kid in school accidentally exploding his yogurt tube all over his desk partner was probably one of the funnier ways to begin a lifelong friendship that would eventually blossom into more.

“So, how are we celebrating a whole decade together this year? Should we go get frozen yogurt? Maybe we can make a re-enactment of what happened in middle school? We could make it a whole thing, make a tiktok about it and everything,” you could feel your eyes rolling involuntarily at his words, shooting Jack a glare from across the room.

“We’re not doing anything that involves yogurt.”

“Not even something sexy?” Wigging his eyebrows at you, your hand immediately reached for the pillow beside you to whip at your boyfriend.

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Lil’ Jizzy,” groaning at your words, Jack plopped himself on the couch beside you, instantly pulling you into his side.

Shrugging his shoulders at you, you could see him googling friendiversary ideas out of the corner of your eye. “Babe, we don’t even have to do anything. We could cuddle up and order food and just watch a movie or something, it doesn’t have to be anything special.”

“It’s our ten-year friendiversary, baby. We can’t just do nothing. I’ll figure something out, don’t worry. You’ll love it.”

It would be hard to admit that a trip to Florida in the middle of the season was what you were expecting from Jack. He had practically thrust the tickets into your hand, informing you that you had less than three hours to pack, all while giving you a list of the specific outfits he wanted you to bring.

You knew almost immediately that Jack had definitely not planned the celebration alone, just by the Airbnb that you pulled up in front of. First, you didn’t even realize he knew what an Airbnb was. Second of all, there was no way Jack Hughes had managed to find a place this gorgeous on his own.

Shooting a message to P.K. was your first priority, knowing full well he was the likely culprit behind the gorgeous booking in front of you.

“Okay, so I have a full itinerary. Tonight, we’re just going to chill, relax, get situated, maybe break the house in, you know… the usual stuff,” ending his sentence off with a wink, Jack grabbed your hand and pulled you along behind him.

“Tomorrow we’re going to head out to the marina that I don’t know the exact name of but will figure out and we’re gonna spend most of the day on the water, and then dinner… obviously. Sunday, you have to plan. I’ll pay… but you have to plan.”

Giggling into his ear as you pressed your body closer to his to press a gentle kiss on the nape of his neck, Jack tilted his head to the side with a small grin plastered across his lips.

“Sounds like the perfect weekend, baby. I think we should probably get started on your plans for today.” The grin never left his lips as he whipped around to press them to yours, his body moulding against yours easily.

The next day came quicker than you were expecting, Jack picking out your outfit as you picked his. That was something you both just found easier; there was no one else you would ever let pick your outfit, Jack just… knew you. He knew your style, knew what you did and didn’t like, knew what would fly and what wouldn’t. Small things like that with him were easy, everything was easy when it came to him.

“Well, don’t you look sexy. Damn, I’m so good at picking your fits. Should I quit hockey, maybe get into fashion? You could be my main model, baby.” Laughing as he wrapped you up in his arms with a smile, his happiness infectious.

Shaking your head against his chest, you peaked up at him from between his arms. “I don’t think you should quit your day job, maybe get some pointers before you start making drastic decisions like that. Can’t use you as my future trophy husband if you’re going to up and quit the job that makes you that.”

Pinching your side gently, Jack just smiled as he pulled away and interlocked his fingers with his.

It didn’t take you long to get to the marina in the car he had rented, everyone greeting the both of you politely as they directed you towards the boat Jack had rented for the day. You almost stopped in your tracks when you observed the setup on the boat; a picnic basket set up, non-alcoholic champagne on ice, fairy lights adorning the inside edges of the boat.

“Damn, I didn’t read the fine print when I booked. Just said I wanted the closest setup to an anniversary they could get, guess they went all out,” popping his hip into yours gently with a beam.

“Jack, do you even have your boating license?”

Eyeing the steering wheel with a curious look, you turned towards your boyfriend just in time to see him roll his eyes and glare at you playfully. “No, this place just let a random guy with no boating license rent a boat. Obviously, I have my boating license.”

Rolling your eyes back, you tapped his side as you made your way to the small seat next to the drivers. It only took a few moments to get out from the dock, far enough away that you and Jack could have some privacy without being too far and worrying how you were going to get back.

“Do you remember the first day we met? Other than when I accidentally exploded my yogurt tube all over you? You told me that boys were icky, and all they did was ruin everything,” nodding your head with a loud laugh, you let your mind wander to your first few years with Jack.

“Crazy how things have changed, huh? I remember going home that night and telling my mom I needed to get those stupid yogurt tubes so I could hit them against the desk and do what you did to me, she said no real quick.”

Smiling softly towards you, you could see the love in his eyes the way he looked at you, the softness that crossed his features every time you were on his mind or in his sight. It had been the same look he had given you since you both were fifteen, Jack never having eyes for anyone except you.

Standing up and holding his hand out, you took it and allowed him to pull you from your seat and towards the picnic basket and bottle of champagne.

“It always makes me laugh; I told my mom back when I first moved from Sauga to Michigan that I wasn’t sure how I was going to live without you. She said you’d always be there, even if you weren’t physically there. Pretty sure that was when I realized you were more than just a friend to me, then I moved and wasn’t sure what’d happen. Never really thought we’d get here, honestly.”

Sighing as he sat down, Jack gestured for you to sit in his lap, both of your legs extended out in front of you as he ruffled through the picnic basket beside him.

“I say it a lot, but I’m so glad you sprayed that yogurt all over me. It sucked, but I don’t think we’d be where we are without it,” nodding his head gently as he rested his cheek on the top of your head.

“You know, you’ve been my best friend for ten years, why not just change it to husband and wife?”

Swivelling around to look at him, you almost cried when you saw the little black box in his hand, his eyes glistening at he looked at you. Moving so he was directly on one knee and not sitting, your hands instantly pressed to your mouth.

“I’ve had this thing sitting around since my first season. So, I guess what I’m trying to say here is… I’ve been so grateful for your friendship and your unconditional love these last ten years, so how about we make it forever? Will you marry me?”

You couldn’t contain your body flying towards him, the aggressive nod of your head the only answer he needed.

note: so sorry that this is so late, but i hope you enjoy!! thank you so much for requesting. and yes i did steal mitch marner's proposal idea for this thank u very much simply bc i have reason to believe jack would too

[queer-and-dear-books]

Title: The Night When No One Had Sex

Author: Kalena Miller

Genre: YA Fiction | Comedy | Romance | Friendship | LGBTQ+

Content Warnings: Sexual Content

Overall Rating: 9.8/10

Personal Opinion: This is a book about horny teenagers trying to get it on with their prom dates and everything goes wrong to prevent them from doing such. It is comedy-centric and I find it hilarious. The antics these kids get into are just absolutely wild. But especially for Julia and Kevin. They were my favorite couple along with Alex and Leah. And not just because they included Asian men. But because they were wholesome and hilarious.

Do I Own This Book? No.

Spoilers Below For My Likes & Dislikes:

Likes:

- This is a comedy-centric book and I will grade it as such. It is hilarious. Chaotic but hilarious. With Julia being the center of most of the chaos. Her fear of cats, the fantasy roleplay, the trapped in the closet, the all-caps texting, she really brought the funny in this book. She is easily my favorite and it’s not just because her boyfriend is Kevin, the fat Chinese guy who is just so sweet on her. Finally, decent Kevin representation!

- Okay, let’s break down some of the comedic points. The cat. First of all, Bulldog is a horrible yet hilarious name for a cat. Just the mere fact that this cat existed in the vicinity of these horny teenagers is funny. But what makes it funnier is that he ended up on the roof with Madison and Jake. He kept on interrupting couples and just popping up in random places, it was hilarious. 

- The excessive amounts of lube on the bed, oh my god. I can absolutely imagine the first time jitters involved with sex and the fact that Julia just emptied an entire bottle of lube onto her hand kills me. And especially because Kevin just had to point it out. Why does it make it funnier? I don’t know but it does.

- The fantasy roleplay killed me. Not only because Kevin had no idea what a fantasy elf was and based his idea of it on Santa’s elves but the fact that he thought it would be sexy is hilarious. But the best part was when Julia got into the role playing while trapped in the closet and Kevin had to yell out their safe word to get her to listen to him. That just ended me. Can you imagine trying to be sexy and then your boyfriend just screams “PIGEONS!”

- The visual of Zoe angrily and aggressively kneading dough while her girlfriend obliviously celebrates her getting into Yale is also hilarious. A little sad because how can Morgan not see how upset Zoe is? But mostly funny because they’re supposed to be fucking and instead, Zoe decided to make scones at ass o’clock because her uncle has a room that’s just a shrine to Yale.

- Speaking of the bedrooms, the other bedroom with the animal heads is also hilarious. The fact that Jake named them and Madison felt a kinship with one of them is so funny.

- Alex’s scenes were honestly much more endearing than funny. He was going through a lot with his grandmother in the hospital for surgery. But he had Leah by his side the entire time and their Romeo & Juliet, star crossed lovers thing had me hooked. I am a sucker for that trope. The fact that they were the only couple to actually have sex is hilarious to me too. Like I was truly laughing my ass off when he showed up to the house and Julia was like, “Well, at least the sex pact wasn’t a total failure.”

- I think the best part of this book is that everyone is just good people. Julia set up Alex and Leah. Leah stayed at the hospital to support Alex. Alex cares for the elderly and their park and the GEESE. Kevin didn’t mind not having sex with Julia immediately and read a whole book series just to make her happy. Morgan selflessly wanted her girlfriend to get into Yale and didn’t try to hold her back at all. And Jake! Sweet Jake. Now he was a surprise. He was actually really sweet to Madison and he accepted her breaking up with him with grace and humility. I respect that so much. He may be a dumb jock but he’s a good heart.

Dislikes:

- Uncle Ross didn’t show up much and he honestly wasn’t that scummy but his obsession with Yale does make me feel gross. It doesn’t help that my association with men who graduated from Yale is in the toilet currently. So I just did not like the man whatsoever. But he did lend his cabin to his niece and her friends and that was pretty cool of him, I guess.

- The actual reason why this book doesn’t get a perfect rating is Zoe. She’s supposed to be the smartest person in their grade and the most rational person in their friend group. But instead of talking things out with everyone about her not wanting to go to Yale, she let it silently eat away at her until she was basically crying and yelling at others. That was especially not fair to Morgan. Especially because Zoe acknowledged that she should’ve told Morgan and instead of telling her, she continued to keep it inside. That’s so frustrating. When characters know the solutions to their problems and just don’t act on them.

[ultraericthered]

Moment 1: I remember when I watched this part of the anime in 2020 I'd completely forgotten that this was how it ended. For some reason I'd thought Black had overloaded his mech suit and botched ejecting himself from it and that's how he died, but no, he was retreating and Goku refused to forgive, so he just murders him in cold blood!

Moment 2: I noted before that this was made much less a problem in the anime compared to the manga. In the manga there was nothing justifying throwing the Pilaf Gang at Goku at the very end of a saga that had already overstayed its welcome, but the anime mitigated it by including the Pilaf Gang at the start of the saga so that this feels like coming full circle, and the fact that in this medium getting to see the characters animated and with voice acting makes them usually never an unwelcome presence, so you can bear with it better.

Moment 3: Toriyama clearly had no good idea of how to get a badly weakened, barely clinging to life Goku up to Korin's Tower so that he could get a senzu bean, so he resorted to a gag with Yajirobe for it.

Moment 4: Everything about the Saibamen fight just sort of went to shit when Yamcha got done in like that. When Krillin blasts them all, he misses one and Piccolo has to kill it, and that makes me wonder why that couldn't have been what killed Yamcha? Why couldn't the Saibamen have all gone down except one that would jump out to attack, and Yamcha could throw himself at the Saibaman rather than the other way around? The same result happens, but Yamcha gets to go out destroying the enemy just as much as it destroys him.

Moment 5: Like I recently said, it could've worked. But not only didn't it, it collapsed the narrative progression along with the chamber wall!

Moment 6: There is no excusing or forgiving this one, and in a way, it's even worse than the following moment, "End of Z". Uub was at least promptly discarded and forgotten about in the franchise going forward. This instance of a seemingly perfectly well-suited for the leading role hero getting pissed on and thrown to the side so that two specific Saiyan characters, Goku and Vegeta, get to hog the spotlight set an ongoing trend that plagues the modern day of the franchise.

Moment 7: I've seen barely anyone who loved this ending. It just feels lazy, abrupt, unsatisfying, and above all, wrong given context.

Moment 8: Ngl, I'd much rather Goku get the Yamcha treatment than Gohan, but even so, using Sorbet to deliver a devastating, potentially fatal blow on a Powered Up Super Saiyan God was beyond asinine.

Moment 9: While the manga handled the Infinite Zamasu story beat infinitely better than the confounding, infuriating dumbfuckery that was in the anime, I don't think either version really seized on a firm utilization of the concept of all the corruptive malice in Zamasu’s spirit, the same shit that was causing his right side to ooze out, transcending his physical being to become a multiverse-threatening abomination, and for how Zeno could be Chekov's Gunned in to get rid of it. In an ideal Dragon Ball continuation that had everything on the table, this could've even kickstarted an origin story for Demigra! So long as Zeno is called on time to stop the spread of the Zamasu and Whis is able to protect Future Trunks and Mai's world, it works!

Moment 10: I'd thought Toriyama's earlier writing for Roshi and the anime filler material with him would be the worst we'd get out of the character. I was so wrong. Thank Kami Sama Funimation caught it and changed it to something both funnier and that works better.

Moment 11: Other than the Buu Saga stuff, this would have to be my least liked, and most indefensible, out of all of Toriyama's decisions. The blatant, inchorent with prior canon retcons that Minus One, its material in the Broly movie, and the Granolah Saga made not just to Bardock, but by extension to Goku, Raditz, Vegeta, and to the Saiyans on the whole, just diminishes everything we knew about them before in the earlier DB material and makes it all so much less compelling. It's something I straight up refuse to acknowledge as being real to the lore and narrative of the series, that's how bad it is. Any reservations fans might've had about the retconning of Beerus into the backstory of Planet Vegeta might actually mean nothing in the face of this crap. It could always get worse, and indeed it did.

Moment 12: Planet Eater Moron and his overly long saga were just a colossal waste on the whole, and a prime example of why I cannot get hyper fond of Toyotaro as a writer. Between this and the following Granolah Saga, not to mention his take on Goku Black, his version of the Universal Survival Saga, and his indulgences in favoritism toward characters like Vegeta and Beerus, it's clear he's a more flawed writer than Toriyama, and his Super is as hit-or-miss as the anime.

Moment 13: What was done with Gohan Beast VS Cell Max reminds me of what was done with Luke Skywalker in The Mandalorian and Book of Boba Fett - a blatant pandering to fans who will only take a leading hero if he's a specific type of leading hero, in this case the cold-blooded, cocky, no-nonsense powerhouse of a "badass" Super Saiyan fighter that in the context of when he first became that was meant to be seen as not right for Gohan to become, as being like that ended up costing Goku his life and nearly caused the end of the entire universe. Yeah, give me back the Great Saiyaman please!

The 13 Worst Moments in Dragon Ball

There are far too many best moments to count, but this makes counting the worst easier.

(Note: Dragon Ball GT and non-canon movies, specials or games are not counted here.)

Goku kills Commander Black.

The end of the Red Ribbon Army has Advisor Black kill Commander Red and usurp his position. He then gets in a mech suit and tries to kill Goku. Goku defeats him, he makes a strategic retreat....only for Goku to mercilessly chase after him and kill him! WTF!? I don't think I need to explain how horrendously OOC for Goku this is. Paired with the already uncomfortable factors surrounding the Black character, it creates a low point to end this lengthy conflict on. The Path to Power movie handled this battle and Black's death better.

The Pilaf Gang returns.

While the Red Ribbon Army is defeated, the story arc goes on with the whole Fortuneteller Baba affair, which to its credit concludes with a touching reunion between Goku and his dead adoptive grandfather. Unfortunately, rather than wrap up after this, we regress to the battle with Black by having another mech suit battle over the final Dragon Ball! And it's against...Emperor Pilaf, Shu and Mai? Look, I know that the anime had made them popular by expanding their roles; in fact they were even added into this very story arc already early in. But they were just a 5 chapter obstacle in the original manga before this! So in that context, it makes zero sense for them to suddenly show up as if they're important recurring characters! All it does is drag out an already dragged out story arc even further and test our patience!

Yajirobe climbs Korin's Tower.

In the super serious King Piccolo saga, the glutenous and cowardly ronin Yajirobe already felt out of place. But I could tolerate him up until he is used to rush Goku up Korin's Tower...the same tower that previously only Master Roshi and Goku had been able to climb. And now this guy climbs up it much faster because he was promised food at the top? Yeah, not buying it.

Yamcha is killed by a Saibaman.

That image right there. It has come to define Yamcha's "Memetic Loser" status, and honestly, it feels unfair. While always something of a Butt Monkey type, Yamcha was one of the earliest main characters in the series. He was Goku's first rival: before Krillin, Tien, Piccolo or Vegeta. He was shown to be a strong fighter. He took part in training for a year before Nappa and Vegeta's arrival on Earth. And yet instead of falling to them in battle, he gets kamikazed to death by one of their underlings, the Saibamen, because he arrogantly turns his back to it after thinking it was defeated. After that, it's been nothing but L after L for poor Yamcha....

Majin Buu screams the time-space continuum apart.

This fucking sequence of events drives me crazy. While fighting Majin Buu in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, Gotenks starts acting as if he's being put on the ropes...not to fool Buu, but to fool Piccolo (the only other one there) so that it can shock and impress him when he turns the tables. Gotenks is a dumbass so this checks out. But Piccolo actually believes it, and he destroys the entrance/exit to the chamber so that Buu will be trapped in there forever even after destroying them. Gotenks comes clean and he and Piccolo have a comedic shouting match until Buu, distraught at the idea of being trapped without food, screams at the top of his lungs and somehow rips open a portal in space-time that allows him to escape. While he is then massacring damn near everyone on Kami's Lookout (off panel in the original manga!), Gotenks and Piccolo also try screaming to open a portal, to no avail. And so in the end, Gotenks reveals he can turn Super Saiyan 3, a form that it took Goku years of training alongside powerful warriors in the afterlife to achieve, and that's enough to open a portal for him and Piccolo to exit through....too late to save anyone, of course! This is the precise moment when the final stretch of the original manga and Z anime started going to shit. The burnt out Toriyama clearly just did not give a fuck what he was writing and drawing anymore.

Majin Buu absorbs Gotenks, Piccolo and Gohan.

Buu screaming a portal open through time and space was Strike 1. Strike 2 is when Buu, fresh off of receiving a satisfying beatdown from Gohan, is able to turn the tables by absorbing Gotenks and Piccolo, an ability he was never shown to have before...and something that was only possible because Toriyama regresses Gohan back to the same overconfident stupidity that cost him greatly in the Cell Saga. Gohan then faces a humiliating beatdown from Buu, as if to punish him for thinking he could be the main character who saves the day instead of Goku despite that being the most logical, organic route for the series to take. Speaking of which, Goku himself shows up to help with a plan to fuse with his son...a plan that fails when Gohan also gets absorbed by Buu. The result is Goku having to fuse with a returning Vegeta instead, which started the tiresome trend of Goku and Vegeta being the co-leads of the franchise and the only ones who are capable of accomplishing anything.

"End of Z".

This epilogue - 2 chapters in the manga and 3 episodes in the anime - ended the original Dragon Ball / Dragon Ball Z on an incredibly weak note. It's 10 years since the main events of the Buu Saga, and at the latest Tenkaichi Budokai we are introduced to Uub, the human reincarnation of Kid Buu. After bringing out Uub's power by acting like a schoolyard bully to provoke his anger, Goku just up and decides to go off with Uub to his village so that he can train him, abandoning his friends and family on the spur of the moment. Not only does this make Goku look far worse than I think Toriyama intended, but his intent to leave the story open to be picked up with a passing of the torch to Uub, as if that makes up for botching it with Gohan, would be laughable were it not so offensive. We spent chapters upon chapters, episodes upon episodes, watching Gohan develop. We cared about him, we were invested in him taking the torch from Goku. Backtracking on that in the last saga isn't something that can ever be recovered from, and especially not with some rando kid we just met who is the reincarnation of the latest villain that we barely spent any time with and was ultimately just a mindless psychopath. This was Strike 3. Dragon Ball was out; never quite the same again.

Goku is sniped by a ray gun.

Resurrection F is great as a largely standalone action film, not so great as a full-fledged saga in the anime, but there is one moment in both iterations that just does not work. Goku has defeated Freeza and lets his guard down....and gets shot through the chest with a ray gun beam from Freeza's henchman Sorbet, which almost kills him. I'm sorry, what!? At the time, Goku is still in his Super Saiyan Blue form, which is the Super Saiyan form harnessing the energy of a Super Saiyan God. No matter how much his guard was let down, I highly doubt that a mere ray gun beam would do that much damage. If Sorbet had done something to distract Goku so that Freeza could shoot a beam through him, that would work. But as it stands, we have Goku almost done in by Sorbet. He's lucky he managed to survive and redeem himself by killing Freeza once more, or else he'd officially be our new Yamcha.

Future Trunks' universe is erased.

The best arc in the Dragon Ball Super anime had come to a highly cathartic conclusion where Future Trunks cuts Merged Zamasu in half. There was just one more episode left where everything could be wrapped up in a satisfying...wait, WTF? Zamasu's spirit is taking over the multiverse!? How!? Why!? And because of this utter Ass-Pull, Zeno has to be brought in as a literal Deus Ex Machina, destroying Zamasu once and for all by erasing Future Trunks' entire universe from existence. The wrap-up afterwards is a somber affair, with Whis creating a new timeline for Future Trunks and Future Mai to inhabit, and Future Trunks' last scene has him crying over his failure. I am flabbergasted to this day at how anyone thought this ending was a good idea. It takes a beloved character and gives him the mother of all Happy Ending Overrides, while denying viewers the catharsis that should come at the defeat of one of the series' most loathsome villains. I've heard fans dislike the manga version too where it's multiple copies of Zamasu rather than his spirit merging with the multiverse and where Future Trunks and Future Mai are totally nonchalant about their timeline's fate and just jump to another earlier timeline (pre-existing rather than created by Whis), but as a fan of the Xenoverse games I feel that version makes more sense. Time is flexible, the people and places in an earlier timeline before the one that was pruned should still be considered theirs by Trunks and Mai so tears would be an overblown reaction. Plus at least in this version Zamasu goes out in a cathartic way, fully aware and terrified at his impending doom via Zeno.

Master Roshi goes too far.

While Master Roshi's perverted shtick has always been hit and miss, to put it lightly, he somehow sunk to a new low during the Super anime's final arc. When fighting in the Tournament of Power, he is faced with Caway, a beautiful female fighter who uses a seduction technique on him. Roshi's response is bulking up and going on about all the repressed urges he has, finishing with "don't blame me for what I might do next" as he reaches out for Caway. Poor Caway is terrified and disqualifies herself by fleeing the arena. So basically, a rape threat played as a joke. How utterly disgusting. Kudos to the English dub, which fixes it by instead having Roshi just threaten to beat Caway up because he's pissed that she tried a seduction technique on him when he's been trying to repress his perverted side as of late; essentially he's like an alcoholic in rehab threatening to knock the crap out of someone who just tried to offer them a bottle. That's funnier and keeps Roshi more likable.

Kakarot becomes Kal-El.

Why, Toriyama? You yourself said you loved the Bardock: The Father of Goku anime special, to the point where you canonized Bardock a few months after it aired. So why completely go against that special by changing Bardock into a decent man who, alongside his wife, lovingly sends Kakarot off to Earth in order to protect him from their home planet's impending destruction? Goku's story was great because it was a twist on the Superman story: he was sent to Earth as a baby with the intent of destroying it, not for his own protection. His father was largely apathetic toward him, was not there for him getting sent away, and never had any change of heart about his ruthless warrior lifestyle...he just went crazy and got killed. But now he's just Jor-El, getting an emotional moment alongside his wife as they sent their child into space for his own good. Way to take away everything unique and interesting, Toriyama.

Moro reveals his last wish.

The Super manga's first exclusive story arc started out with great potential, with Moro being a mysterious villain who did something no-one else had done before: make three wishes on the Namekian Dragon Balls but conceal what his third wish was, leaving the heroes and the reader in suspense as to what he wished for and how it would factor into his master plan. But then it ended up being revealed pretty quickly: he wished for every criminal in the Galactic Patrol's prison to be released in order to serve as his army. That's it!? This reveal is not only not worth the suspense, but the whole arc ends up going downhill from there, as Toyotaro begins filling it with cliches and blatant Author Appeal that drags on longer than it needs to.

Gohan awakens the beast within.

Originally, Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero was going to just be Piccolo's movie. Toriyama didn't want Gohan as a major player at all, but was convinced to have him be the co-star by the movie's producer. However, I am pretty damn sure the producer requested this with the Great Saiyaman in mind. It's called Super Hero and features two dramatically posing superheroes as antagonists. This is a situation tailor-made for the Great Saiyaman! And yet Gohan's superhero alter-ego is not seen nor referenced once throughout the entire movie. Instead, Toriyama ignores the Super anime and manga by starting up another "Gohan has been slacking off and stupidly believes he doesn't need to be prepared for a crisis and thus must be urged by Piccolo to start training and fighting and re-awakening his inner power" arc, which culminates in Gohan Beast vs. Cell Max, one of the most depressingly unoriginal things Toriyama has ever written. It's literally just Super Saiyan 2 Gohan from the Cell Saga combined with the "Gohan Blanco" internet meme. He acts exactly like his edgy Super Saiyan 2 self, even to a literal copy of Semi-Pefect Cell, as if he has completely forgotten how badly that whole thing went down and what it cost him! Gohan is finally afforded the spotlight and a major victory again after, and it's this!? This rotten bunch of Memberberries!? Credit to Toyotaro and the Super manga for doing its best to salvage this plot point. While I continue to be saddened by Toriyama's untimely passing, I'm glad that we still have someone capable to carry the torch going forward....something that Gohan may also at last be allowed to do now.

[taetaespeaches]

“I actually preferred the cow pun.”

seokjin x reader (oc) genre: fluff word count: 2.2K

a/n: Hi lovelies! Here is where Jin and Poopsie/reader meet. FINALLY! And what better way for these two to form a connection than through their love of ridiculously stupid puns?! (I’m not Seokjin, my puns aren’t good, leave me alone.) I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading :))

Popcorn wafted throughout the lobby, practically demanding you get some for your late night movie viewing. There weren’t many people waiting in line ahead of you beyond an older woman, a young couple, and a handsome young man who was speaking animatedly on the phone. Turns out not many people attend the movies at 10 p.m. on a Wednesday night.

Staring off to the side at a movie poster that gave little indication of what the film was actually about, you lost yourself in thought until Handsome Guy, as you mentally dubbed him, in front of you caught your attention with his lively conversation.

“Yoongi-ah, you should have come with me, I’m even getting popcorn,” Handsome Guy announced into the phone, alerting the person on the other end of his happenings. “What are you doing tonight? What’s poppin’?”

Thinking over his comment for a moment, you found yourself unable to hold back a smile at his dorky popcorn pun. You wondered if the person on the other side of the phone even caught it with the way Handsome Guy so easily slid it into his question.

“You’re having beef? Without me?” As he waited for the person on the other end of the call to respond, the man was already smirking at his next planned comment. “I still think you should have come with me tonight, it would have been butter together.”

You were able to make out the person on the other side of the call as he spoke something along the lines of, “Don’t do this,” which only made the handsome man’s joke even funnier to you. Whoever was on the other end of the call must be used to Handsome Guy’s dorky jokes and puns, making this much too handsome dude quite endearing. It was refreshing for someone that good looking to not take himself too seriously.

Still smiling at the man’s comments, you directed your gaze to your phone as you continued eavesdropping on his conversation. “Hey Yoongi-ah, you’re having beef right? I’m not a-moo-sed that you’re eating without me,” he joked, making you have to stifle a giggle, silent laughter coming out as breaths through your nose.

“Hey Yoongi-” He started again as you hung on to his words, anticipating the next silly pun that should not be as funny as you were finding them. However, he made a sound of surprise as he pulled the phone from his ear and looked at the screen with his widened eyes. Tilting his head to the side, he stared at the phone in disapproval. “He hung up on me,” he mumbled to himself before tucking the phone into his pocket and turning to look at the food options.

Staring at his back, you noticed his shoulders were quite broad, his neck rather long and beautiful. He was the kind of handsome that you rarely see in day to day life, only really appearing in magazines and in front of flashing cameras. Paired with his goofy personality, you wondered how someone like him existed; how someone so attractive could be so pleasantly silly.

When he turned around to head toward the theatres, popcorn and candy in hand, his eyes found yours for just a brief moment and you swore your lungs forgot how to function. He gave you a small, polite but warm smile as he nodded at you, forcing you to return the gesture in surprise.

The interaction was short but you had a feeling you’d be thinking about it for a long time after.

Stepping into the dark theatre, your eyes took a moment to adjust as you stared at the end of the aisle in front of you, searching for your row. Looking at your ticket, you stepped up a few rows before finding yours.

Peering at the aisle, you found that Handsome Guy was sitting just a few seats from where you stood, your heart racing at the way he was watching you carefully.

“What number are you?” He asked you suddenly, your eyes widening in surprise that he was addressing you.

“Oh, uh, ten,” you told him, Handsome Guy looking down the row as though he was helping you search.

“I’m in seat two so it must be down there,” he told you, adjusting his sitting position to prepare to let you walk through. “Here, it’s ok,” he smiled kindly at you, an awkward single laugh slipping through your lips.

“Thanks,” you said quietly, starting down the aisle, scooting past Handsome Guy carefully. However, your leg bumped his knee, causing you to instinctively bend to check on him, the sudden movement resulting in you spilling some popcorn directly onto the man’s lap. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you told him, embarrassment flooding every fiber of your being. Surely the floor would open up to reveal the flames of inferno because only in hell would you spill popcorn on the most attractive person you’d ever seen in real life.

Handsome Guy met your apology with a stunning smile, his eyes crinkled and his cheeks plush. “That’s ok,” he shook his head sweetly. “More for me.” You watched as he grabbed a piece of popcorn that sat atop his thigh and tossed it into his mouth nonchalantly.

Letting out a bashful but amused giggle, you nodded. “In that case, you’re welcome,” you tried to play along before quickly scooting away from him to find your seat number. Your heart was racing and you couldn’t wait for the movie to start, hoping that the film would be so good that Handsome guy would forget all about your existence.

Plopping into your seat, you looked into your popcorn that was missing at least a fifth of its contents, all scattered around Handsome Guy and possibly making its way into his mouth. Was he really going to eat it? When the trailers started playing, you snuck a glance to your side, just wanting a look at the man’s side profile. It’s only natural, after all, to want to appreciate beauty. Human nature. Museums were full of beautiful art pieces just for that reason, right?

However, when you turned to look at the man, you found him turning toward you at the same time, your eyes meeting once again. Panicked, you quickly averted your gaze to the side of him, badly pretending that you totally weren’t checking him out but rather you were inspecting the dark wall behind him. Convincing.

Slowly looking to the screen, you ate a few pieces of popcorn, still acting as though you weren’t trying to catch a peek at the man sitting a few seats down. But you lacked self control and he was still stunning, so as the first movie trailer ended, you casually rolled your head to the side, acting as though you were simply trying to pop the vertebrae in your neck. When you once again glanced at Handsome Guy, you found him already watching you.

Before you could react, he pointed to the screen and shrugged as if he was unsure if he was interested in the film. Opening your mouth as if preparing to speak, you then closed it and looked to the screen in thought. Returning your eyes to the man, you shrugged in reply.

“Might skip it,” he told you, and you found yourself nodding in agreement.

“Not for me,” you whispered to him, the man’s eyes widening as he leaned toward you.

“What?” He whisper-shouted, unable to hear you over the next trailer’s music.

“Not for me,” you told him a bit louder, Handsome Guy’s eyebrows scrunching as though he still couldn’t make out your words. When you waved it off, letting him know it didn’t matter, he shook his head. Collecting his popcorn and candy, he rose to his feet and stepped toward you, moving four seats closer to you. Smiling at the action, you held back an amused laugh. “I said it’s not for me.”

“Oh,” he nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, me either.”

With that, he looked straight ahead, inspecting the current trailer. Your eyes lingered on him for a moment. What an interesting guy, you thought. With just three seats between you, you finally got a good look at that side profile and wow. You were pretty certain Handsome Guy was as close to art as a human could be. Sculpted to perfection, you couldn’t peel your eyes away from him, the trailer that was currently playing serving as nothing more than background noise. You were only broken out of your unwavering gaze when Handsome Guy looked toward you, a bashful gaze immediately overtaking his face at the realization that you had been watching him. He ducked his head toward his chest before glancing up at you, a soft shy smile plastered to his beautiful features. Seeing the man shy was beyond endearing, making you much less embarrassed for having been caught staring.

He whispered something to you, still appearing cute and embarrassed, but you couldn’t fully understand him.

“Hmm?” You asked, the man preparing to speak again before you stopped him by standing up. Perhaps it was the shy demeanor he suddenly sported that gave you the boost of confidence, but you found yourself scooting two seats closer to him, leaving only one seat between you both.

Being that up close, you could see the way he battled with his inner bashfulness, trying to recover the confident man who had been on display since the line for snacks.

“I said, I’m not the biggest fan of scary movies,” he repeated his earlier comment.

“Oh,” you smiled. “I kind of love them.”

Smirking at you, finding some of that assuredness once again, he stared at you for a moment. “Pretty and brave,” he complimented.

The comment taking you by surprise, you nearly choked on the piece of popcorn you just swallowed. Taking advantage of your shock, Handsome Guy sat up a little straighter, confidence returning full force.

“Did you like my popcorn puns earlier?” He suddenly asked, a smirk on his lips as he casually put you on the stand for eavesdropping.

Your jaw dropping slightly at having been caught, you let out an embarrassed, breathy laugh. “I did,” you admitted bashfully. “I didn’t mean to listen in on your conversation but you can’t really blame me with puns like those,” you decided to playfully defend yourself, a wide smile spreading across the man’s face. “I actually preferred the cow pun though.”

“Oh?” He asked you with widened eyes, turning in his seat to face you only to flash you a fond grin. “You found it a-moo-sing?”

“Definitely,” you returned his smile with a small giggle. “Legen-dairy.”

“Ah,” he pointed at you excitedly, immediately catching the lame joke. “Dairy. I’ll have to keep that one in my back pocket.”

“Just make sure to give me credit,” you replied teasingly.

Leaning toward you, he waited for you to lean in as well. “I have to know your name to do that,” he hinted, causing you to smile as you faced him. Telling him your name, you watched as his soft grin greeted you.

Repeating your name, he nodded to himself. “I’m Seokjin,” he replied. As much as ‘Handsome Guy’ fit him, you had to admit you preferred Seokjin.

You outstretched your hand, the man taking it in his as he shook it kindly. “Nice to meet you,” he told you.

“Nice to meet you, too.” There was a brief pause as you searched each other’s faces, your hands still palm to palm. “So why is Yoongi eating beef without you instead of attending the movies with you?” You asked, a sigh leaving Seokjin’s lips.

“He never wants to go to the movies with me,” he shook his head disapprovingly. “None of my friends do.”

“Really?” You whispered. “Mine too, they always bail on me.”

“What is up with that?” He asked, becoming enthusiastic about your one thing in common… well, beyond your love of lame puns. “We should be movie buddies,” he said almost nonchalantly, though his eyes were watching you carefully as though he was anticipating your answer.

“Yeah?” You asked in surprise, realizing your hand was still in his, a weird mix of comfort and embarrassment rushing through your body.

“Yeah,” he said more seriously, as though he realized what he had asked you and was letting it sink in. “Yeah, it would be fun.”

“Ok,” you agreed simply. To seal the deal with your new movie buddy, you began shaking his hand again, Seokjin’s eyes darting to your hands, realizing he had been connected all that time.

Finally letting go, your limbs retreating, you both slowly settled into your seats and directed your attention to the screen. And it was as easy as that. You would soon come to find that everything with Seokjin was easy. From random movie nights at the theatre, eventually hosting them at each other’s residences, to breakfasts and dinners, ikea outings, and everything in between, you just found you belonged together, easily fitting into one another’s lives.

As you watched the characters be introduced on the silver screen, you sat shoulder to shoulder with the handsome guy that would fill your future with humor and warmth, just the way he entered it.