#in other news: I have officially completed every book I absolutely WANTED to get to THIS YEAR!

[cultivating-wildflowers]

Alphabet Book Titles!

For the second year in a row, I've completed a challenge to myself to read one new-to-me book title for every letter of the alphabet. The only reread present is the "X" title, because there simply aren't enough of those for me to read a subpar title for the sake of a challenge.

For the tricky letters: "Y" and "U" both appeared by happy accident; I had "Z" and "Q" titles on my shelf at the beginning of the year and DNF'd both, then spent too long trying to find substitutes; and for some reason "H", "M", and "T" all gave me some difficulty. But I got there in the end.

NOTE: This list contains the first title I finished for each letter. As such, this is not strictly a list of recommendations (though by and large I enjoyed all of these).

Are Women Human? by Dorothy L. Sayers (January)

The Boys in the Boat by Daniel James Brown (September)

The Children of Húrin by J.R.R. Tolkein (June)

Dorothy and Jack: by Gina Dalfonzo (March)

Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett (January)

The Food Explorer: The True Adventures of the Globe-Trotting Botanist Who Transformed What America Eats by Daniel Stone (July)

Guardian by Cathy McCrumb (April)

Heidi by Johanna Spyri (August)

In the Forests of Serre by Patricia McKillip (September)

Jonathan Strange and Mr Norell by Susanna Clarke (August)

The King of Elfland's Daughter by Lord Dunsany (August)

Lion of Liberty: Patrick Henry and the Call to a New Nation by Harlow Giles Unger (May)

A Morbid Taste for Bones by Ellis Peters (July)

A Natural History of Dragons by Marie Brennan (March)

Od Magic by Patricia A. McKillip (September)

The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis (February)

Q's Legacy by Helene Hanff (December)

The Republic of Pirates by Colin Woodard (October)

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadaveres by Mary Roach (January)

Time Travelling with a Hamster by Ross Welford (August)

The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion, Vol 1 by Beth Brower (August)

The Vanderbeekers of 141st Street by Karina Yan Glaser (July)

A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking by T. Kingfisher (January)

Xenocide by Orson Scott Card (my only reread; May)

Yours from the Tower by Sally Nichols (September)

Zero G by Dan Wells (October)

[myeagleexpert]

𝕸𝖞 𝕳𝖔𝖑𝖞 𝕷𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙

Yandere ex bad boy x reader When a former bad boy gets out of prison and finds you, the light of his life, he decides he would never let you go again.

cw: delusional yandere, creppy, clingy, no use of yn, reader is stressed and doesn't love yandere but is with him just because he's a stress reliever, the straight-laced girl gets involved with an ex badboy, use of pet names “princess , love”, stalking, insecurity, thoughts of getting married, beginning of a relationship, religious themes at the beginning (youth meeting), very soft at the beginning because the longer you stay together the more he develops an obsession.

"I will marry you". You would be grateful to hear this from a long-term relationship….but hearing this on the first day of your first official relationship?? Who would have the audacity to ask you that??

Marc, your new boyfriend. He is of average height, with shaved hair and thin. You met him by inviting him to a youth meeting at your church, and since he wanted to embrace his new good guy phase, he clearly went. And it wouldn't take long for you to regret that decision.

Marc is strangely strange, like a criminal in interrogation, already anticipating the argument he would have with the lawyer. He has an anxious look on his face every time you meet, and the pressure he has placed on his shoulders to be the “perfect boyfriend” requires him to be honest with you. Everyone knows and feels that pleasant and cozy atmosphere when a couple gets to know each other more and more, opening up little by little, leaving themselves vulnerable to the person their heart burns so much but…. I don't want to ruin this phase, but… he opened up about his past and it totally changed your image of him. How messing with delinquent people influenced him, how he left his family and ran away from home, how his other two serious relationships were toxic and abusive and hurt him psychologically, how he spent time in jail when they caught him with drugs , how he abandoned the will to live….

Until he met you and everything changed.

“You are the light of my life” “I only see my future by your side”

Of all the years he appeared in your life, he appeared just when you were killing yourself studying for a place at the college of your dreams! How much sacrifice! So much pressure! So much stress! The year you followed an intense study routine and practically isolated yourself from the world to study was the year he appeared…as a distraction.

You were so stressed that you needed a distraction on your side. After all, you need to live your youth too, don’t you? It won't be anything serious, you don't have time for that princess, it will just be a momentary relief, just a little flig.

Not if it's up to him.

In fact, you "met" in high school, from different classes, he uses and insists on this argument every time you say that you haven't known each other long enough. "But we never spoke….". "But we talked through our eyes!" You swear you can count on the fingers of your left hand how many times you've actually seen him.

Upon leaving the cold and degrading prison and feeling completely lost, he prayed to the heavens about what direction to ask for in life and coincidentally your profile appeared on his Instagram!

"As soon as I saw your profile, I knew you were different and would change my life" he tells the story of how he met his precious girlfriend for the millionth time, with the same dreamy sigh as always.

He spent 8 months just observing you, what you like and what you don't like, following you, your friends and family on all social networks, he discovered your favorite books and read each one of them trying to be the one you admire most, he discovered where you buy your favorite perfumes and bought the ones you liked the most, to know how you felt and all that… thrown out the window. Because every time Marc looks at you, he forgets everything, the world goes blank and his focus is absolutely you.

He forgets the beautiful words he thought when he was going home, he forgets the way the heartthrob in his book convinced the girl to give him an innocent kiss on the cheek, or how he rehearsed in the mirror how to hold her hand and kiss her without looking so awkward, Marc forget that he has to breathe to continue living but frankly he prefers to be in your air, breathe your oxygen. He also forgets that he had other relationships and shouldn't be so nervous around you.

“Then I said-…hey, I can feel your gaze from here.” “Am I staring at you a lot?? Aah sorry, you’re so beautiful that I couldn’t resist.” he says while kissing your cheek and interrupting anything that would come out of your mouth.

Marc desires to be a devoted follower of his goddess, you. But most of the time it fails miserably. He is in such a trance that he forgets everything and even though the eyes of a passionate puppy that he looks at you with seem cute, you are not guilty of feeling offended. He forgets your favorite place to go out, he forgets your favorite snack, he forgets that sweets make you feel calmer in tpm, he forgets that you canceled a date and gets sulky afterwards blaming you, he forgets that you have bigger goals clear and more important than him and most importantly, he forgets that you have a life before him and whenever you mention an ex-boyfriend he's like "What do you mean you had a boyfriend before me? Who is he? Why did they break up?" So that I don't make the same mistakes he did so that I find him and threaten him to never even look at him again.

and for you so I can make you feel guilty for still having his contact so it's just me and you in the world

Marc is strangely strange, have you ever seen a bear hiding behind a lamp post? So is his jealousy. His blood boils every time you mention a name that isn't his, his body screams mine mine mine, to possessively squeeze your waist and his mouth kisses you until the princess's stressed little head forgets that useless name what you just said after all, I'm the one next to you and I bet he can't make you feel good like I do but…. he hides it well, sometimes, when he forces it. But it's so fking hard to disguise it!

"I met a friend of mine today" "Friend, what friend? A man?" "Then he said- "But wait, love - sorry to interrupt you - since when and where have you known him?" Wasn't this friend of yours on his list where he came from? "I met him in my first year of high school, love, he moved away after that, and I met him again now" " And you hugged him? "Of course, like I do with everyone-" "whyyyyyy?" “Marc he’s my friend and-” “And do you remember his name?”- He asked something simple but that had a strong and heavy meaning behind it.

the name. the name is something so simple but so important, isn’t it?

In a random dawn, he realized that the little princess didn't remember people's names very well and when asked, you replied “They're not important to me, just some extras interacting with me” and while you sleepy laughed at theory made on the spot, his heart squeezed as he remembered that you often forgot his name too.

I'm not so important that you remember my name?

In a random dawn, you told him that you had had other relationships before him, but you never felt anything for them, so you ended it and left and forgot about them. Others, which were hidden and you did crazy things in love for them, regretted them and never saw them again. And that he was your first official boyfriend, the first you took home, the first you took to meet your parents and family, the first you took to your hiding place in the house. He. But as quickly as pride filled his heart, his mind fed the uncertainties and insecurities that keep him awake at night.

Would you live love adventures with him too? Would you regret loving him? Do you have feelings for him or is it a one-sided relationship? Would you forget about him? Would you trade it for one night? Would you… leave?

Marc is so strangely strange that he sometimes blurts out strange and chilling phrases every time you try to subtly open his eyes about the relationship, and in his head they are sweet and romantic, passionate and sincere declarations always sealing the promise with kisses and hugs that are increasingly hard and possessive, but they are red signs in your eyes that something is wrong.

“I don’t know if I could handle that either.” You said as you casually gossiped about a breakup between a couple you saw on the internet, without realizing it Marc's eyes darkened when he heard the word breakup "Listen, if we broke up I…"

"Baby, you know that if it's up to me, we'll never breakup, right?" With a determined look, Marc pulled you onto his lap

"Of course, dear, but if what you did…"

"I would come to your house, take you and lock you away from the world. Because if that's the case, you would never leave me."

"Whoa boy, a little bird wasn't meant to be trapped." When you felt the sincerity of Marc's words, you tried to leave your dear boyfriend's lap, demonstrating that you were serious about the matter, this fact did not go unnoticed by him as he smiled at you and with hearts in his eyes, he kissed you madly until you was breathless and again and again and again….he put you in a bridal carry position, pressing you against his chest with such force that it left you sore

"So i cut the bird's wings and we stay together, love, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We will never break up, remember what I told you? Let's get married, my beautiful darling."

[lovelytsunoda]

life in the fast lane // miles teller

summary: the life and times of trailblazing indycar driver y/n y/l/n, and her celebrity husband, miles teller. in the weeks leading up to the indy 500, the pair have a very special announcement that will alter lives forever.

pairing: miles teller x andretti driver! reader

author's note: its hard to write an smau about a man with no public instagram account lemme tell you that real quick-

y/ny/l/nteller just posted!

indianapolis, indiana.

liked by josefnewgarden, monicabarbaro, valkilmerofficial and 4,578 others

y/n/y/l/nteller indiana never felt like home to me until i had you on the open road.

indy tests start monday, and we are officially one month out from the five-hundred. let's do this, indiana!

see all comments

valkilmer you got this kiddo! we're all rooting for you!

-> ynylnteller 🥺🫶🏻 love ya Val!

kyle_kirkwood i have known your husband for four years now and he still looks awkward in every single photo that gets taken of him at the track. how does he do it?

user babe come home, the children miss you?

-> y/n/yl/nteller miles and i don't have any kids (yet)

ashleynewgarden shocked we got through that dinner without josef and miles singing beyoncé at the karaoke bar

-> josefnewgarden that happened ONCE. I wish miles had social media so he could help me defend these accusations

-> y/n/y/l/nteller take it up with the hubby, not me

user does she look like she’s out on a bit of weight?

-> user it’s probably muscle lmao she’s an athlete bud

patriciooward most photogenic couple in the paddock!

monicbarbaro booking my flights rn

-> ynylnteller girls weekend here we come!

y/ny/l/nteller just updated her story!

ynylnteller just posted!

liked by reesewitherspoon, coltonherta, glenpowell and 5,145 others

ynylnteller god I’m going to miss all of this

*this caption was deleted*

ynylnteller days like these 🫶🏻

see all comment

user did anyone see the original caption?!? where is my girl going!

stingrayrobb thanks for making my nieces day so special! she looks up to you so much and she spent all day talking about how awesome you were. thank you and god bless!

-> ynylnteller your niece was an angel, it was my pleasure!

coltonherta your straight line speed this morning was absolutely incredible. are we thinking an andretti 1-2 is in the cards this weekend?

-> ynylnteller absolutley! let’s get it!

glenpowell everyone is talking about straight line speed and I’m just amazed that you can balance on the tires like that-

-> ynylnteller it took five years of practice to be this good glenn

ynylnteller just posted!

liked by monicabarbaro, katherineracing, scottdixon and 4,653 others

ynylnteller as much as it pains me to say it, the todays Indy 500 will be the end of my 2024 season. while I’m upset that this season is coming to an end prematurely, I am also beyond excited. if the pictures above didn’t give it completely away (and my husband was able to keep his mouth shut all weekend), I am beyond overjoyed to announce that miles and I are having a baby! we tried to keep it under wraps for as long as we could, but as of the next race, baby teller would be too big for me to race without hurting them or myself,

while I won’t be on the track itself for the rest of the season, I couldn’t give this place up if I tried. Instead, my car will be driven by the amazing callum_ilott and I will be joining my bestie jameshinchcliffe in the commentary box.

when I was little, I only had one dream: to be a race car driver. but as I got older that dream began to change, and I realized all of that meant nothing if I didn’t have anybody to share it with. I wanted a family.

We are so excited for this new chapter in our lives.

Lots of love,

Miles and YN Teller xx

see all comments

scottdixon I’m so happy for you, darling! that baby is going to be so loved and so cherished. please pass my congratulations on to miles as well!

-> ynylnteller none of this would have been possible without you, so you’re the real hero here!

user mother is going to be a real mother now!

valkilmer congratulations yn! if you and miles ever need anything at all, you know where to find me (or mercedes and jack)

-> ynylnteller thank you val!! ❤️

glenpowell I am going to be the best godfather this kid has ever had

-> ynylnteller first of all who said you were the godfather?

-> coltonherta yeah it’s gonna be me actually

-> ynylnteller actually it’s going to be neither of you

-> coltonherta but why? I’m already a great uncle?

-> glenpowell yeah so am I!

-> ynylnteller everybody be quiet or we’re making Val the godfather -Miles

-> coltonherta you’d pick the old man over us?!?

-> ynylnteller he *is* less annoying

ashleynewgarden so pleased for you both! this will be your next great adventure! kota is looking forward to having another little buddy to hang out with 🫶🏻

callum_ilott I promise to take good care of the car! rest up and relax over the next nine months, god knows you might never sleep again

user miles is becoming a dilf!!! miles teller is becoming a dilf!!!

TAGS:

@magnummagnussen @libraryofloveletters @cartierre @lorarri @diorcharles @httpiastri @sidcrosbyspuck @thatsdemko @userlando

[nintendroid]

Happy belated birthday to the Nintendo 64, released in North America on September 29th making it 28 years old!

No other console I've owned gives me the nostalgia bug like the N64. I have so many stories of the adventures I had with it I could almost write a book. Maybe someday I will, but for right now let's talk about how you can celebrate Nintendo's most unappreciated console. We'll look at some modern software, some underappreciated games you should play and some cool N64 oddities. (NOTE: None of the items mentioned are sponsored. I just really dig the products)

Essential Hardware:

Brawler 64 Controller!

Available wired or wireless, the Brawler is for players who want to play the N64 with a more modern controller. I bought one some years back and have been nothing but satisfied with it. Check out my original review here. Shop here.

The Everdrive 64!

A cartridge capable of storing every N64 game EVER! Not just official games either, but fan-made game mods too! An absolute must if you're hardcore into N64 gaming. It should be noted, there are cheaper alternatives out there, but the rumor is that they can fry your console. KRIKzz-brand Everdrive's are known for their quality and for my money I want something that's not going to ruin my hardware. Check out my original review here. Shop here.

Underrated Games: Even with such a short library, there are good N64 games that don't have the Nintendo or Rare label on them. These aren't all of them, but here's a few that pop up in my mind when I think of the topic of underappreciated N64 games. Yes, some of these are ports but the N64 ports are the way I experienced them and I still prefer the N64 versions.

Duke Nukem: Zero Hour

In my opinion, the best sequel to Duke 3D. Don't let the 3rd-person perspective deter you, this is an authentic Duke Nukem game. Go through time shooting zombies, aliens, Jack the Ripper and send those alien scum packing. Duke's sense of humor is present, even under Nintendo's famous censorship guidelines.

Road Rash 64

A motorcycle racing game where you clobber the other racers with pipes, crowbars and plungers while avoiding the cops. It's so awesome and features one of the greatest songs Sugar Ray ever put out.

40 Winks

It was cancelled at 99% complete in the N64's heyday but publishing company Piko Interactive bought the rights and gave it an official release in 2019. While not what I would call a "classic" It's still a fun game to play over a weekend. As mentioned in my original review, it reminds me of a 3D adaptation of Nightmare on Elmstreet for NES.

007 - The World Is Not Enough

While not quite known as it's big brother, TWINE is a fun FPS Bond game in its own right. Eurocom (who developed Duke Nukem Zero Hour and 40 Winks!) knew they wasn't going to top Rare's iconic Goldeneye, but they did their best and it shows. The one advantage TWINE has over Goldeneye is multiplayer bots so you can play multiplayer because you don't have friends willing to come over because you're a 35-year-old father of two with a mortgage and 9-to-5.

Mods: The modding scene on the N64 is opening up and as a result we're getting some quality titles that extends the life of our favorite system. The one's mentioned here can be played on your actual N64 with the assistance of an Everdrive.

Smash Remix

Everyone collectively loves the original Super Smash Bros, but we can all agree it's pretty barebones in terms of content. Smash Remix fixed that with tons of new N64-era appropriate character additions, new levels, gameplay modes, music, costume changes and MORE. Phenomenal mod if you're a Smash 64 fan.

Shotgun Mario

Its Super Mario 64 but he has a shotgun. Fun for a laugh but adds a fun new mechanic to a classic. No more hoppin-and-boppin, Mario is here to dispense justice!

AKI-engine Wrestling Game Mods

I know most of you reading this aren't wrestling fans but the N64 had some iconic wrestling games thanks to Japanese studio AKI. Fans have been making mods for the AKI-developed titles like WWF No Mercy, Virtual Pro Wrestling 64, WCW vs NWO World Tour ect for years. It's hard to choose just one and each game has a wealth of characters, new arenas, match stipulations, create a wrestler options and much more.

Weirdo N64 Products: Any other time I would have 100 things to list but this is all I could find in the short time I have.

N64 Shirt!

Yes this bad boy is official. What other officially licensed shirt has Fox McCloud and a stormtrooper on it? In modern times, your best luck of finding something like this would be in a midwestern flea market.

Bill Goldberg Memory Card!

WCW legend Bill Goldberg had a memory card for some reason. I'm not complaining because it's awesome. Nothing I would love more than looking down after losing races in Diddy Kong to see big Bill yelling at me, motivating me to be a champion.

In conclusion: The N64 is a flawed but legendary console - it's popular but underrated, widely-known but intimate. My wishlist for the future is more awesome game mods of well known titles AND lesser known titles (let's fix Superman 64 or Carmageddon!). If you read this far, I hope this got you in the mood to play some N64.

[estrella-zoe39]

i love dumping random shit onto my tumblr anyway weird discussion of the most random fandoms combined go! mostly discuses love as core themes of stories.

i think my favourite pieces of media are those that just dont make sense if you dont view them as a love story. i came across this discovery as i was watching code geass ep 17 when lulu goes insane when he realises the one thing thats in his way is also the person he trusts completely. there is no other genuine explanation other than love for the reasoning of his reaction in that scene. with shirley he had this mellow yet sorrowful reaction when he realised he couldnt be with her anymore. not saying there wasnt a part of him that didnt love her but with suzaku? he goes berserk. whatever he felt couldnt have happened if he didnt love suzaku.

other good examples of this are frieren, orv, and house. there are more my brain is just kinda fried rn and i think these three are good examples of like. varying levels of how explicit the message is. (theyre all obvious af tho)

ill start with frieren because i think if youve even like. heard about it youll know but himmel and frierens relationship really is the core of like the entire story. a boy who loved too soon and a girl who loved too late. frieren just isnt. frieren when you take that away. frieren at its like core is about love you cant just remove that because then the story wouldnt be the same it probably wouldnt even exist!!! and im sure everyone knows this its just surprising how frieren isnt officially a romance manga considering its entire premise

another example is orv which is a bit harder to know if youve only read the webtoon. orvs story just wouldnt exist if hsy didnt love kdj. if she didnt write yjh and then kdj wouldve died, plain and simple. and if kdj didnt love the story back then he wouldve also died. hsy, yjh, and kdj at their core are their love for each other. hsy spent 12 years writing a book everyday just for kdj to keep on living and in kaizenix she waited 50 years for him. yjh spent the entirety of orv learning how to love from kdj, through fighting alongside him, through protecting him, through seeing him die, even when he learned he wasnt real he still believed him, and in the end yjh was the one who let kdj be known in every universe. his mission was something that he only could brave through if he loved kdj. and he did. speaking of kdj, i think its very obvious to everyone but his self-sacrificial nature is due to him only knowing that as a love language. something else is how without kdjs love, orv also just wouldnt exist. if his love for twsa, for the chars, for STORIES, didnt exist, he wouldnt be alive. if he didnt keep on molding twsa, to be alongside every yjh and co, to suggest new plot points, he wouldve never came to love it.

onto my last example, house. now i think you gotta be a very specific type of person to catch them (its called not being homophobic) but man are house and wilson like. house the show itself. their love defines the show, from the first scene to the last. he only took that first case which started everything because of wilson. half of his stupid antics are because of wilson. his love starts and ends at wilson because he knows wilson will be the one person who will always be there consistently for him. because no matter what happens, like house getting sent to trial by tritter, or house failing to save amber, they will be together, whether they want to or not. so when wilson is diagnosed with cancer, he breaks. the one person who he thought would always be there for him. isnt. in fact, he'll die first. and so, he does everything. he listens to wilsons stupid fucking ideas because he needs wilson to be there for him, he needs wilson at his grave, not him at wilsons. thats why he gives everything to wilson, his vicodin, his attention, and even his life. the only reason he dies is so he can be with wilson. none of this actions can be done without love in them, absolutely none. i think my favourite quote of them is "if house chops down a tree, and wilson isnt around to hear it, did it really fall?" it just sums up their stupid, needy, insane, and romantic dynamic so much.

all of these pieces of media need love in them to be them, so i hope ive loved them more than they could ever want, despite some of their flaws 🩷🩷🩷

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 4.5/5

Book Blurb:

magical training by breaking a powerful family’s curse. But her own affliction—to never find true love—gets in the way when she falls for the girl she’s trying to save.

Magic is in Delilah Bea’s blood. Her absentee father is the world’s most famous cursebreaker, while all the women in her family are fated to never find true love. So when Delilah sets out to complete her magical Calling and gain her full powers as a witch, she has the perfect task in mind—breaking the Bea family curse.

But Delilah’s Calling is hijacked by Kieran Pelumbra, the spoiled son of the most powerful family in the country, and breaking his curse suddenly becomes her official assignment. Every generation, a pair of Pelumbra twins is doomed, with one twin draining the other of their life and magic. Kieran grows weaker while his sister, Briar, becomes…something monstrous. 

As Delilah and the twins set out on their quest, they quickly realize that breaking the Pelumbra curse isn’t going to be simple. For one thing, the rest of the Pelumbra family doesn’t actually want their curse broken—and they’ve sent hunters after the trio to ensure they fail. For another, something about Briar gets under Delilah’s skin, distracting her and making her want to kiss the perpetually grumpy look off her face. But with time running out for the twins and Delilah’s own true love curse getting in the way, they may not stand a chance of finding their happily ever after.

Review:

A delight sapphic witchy romance about breaking curses, falling in love, and getting your happily ever after. This was a touch of Practical Magic meets Howl's Moving Castle, Delilah Bea's family is cursed so that any man who falls in love with a Bea woman will forget all their memories of said lover once they fall in love. Delilah is a witch who's father is a famous cursebreaker and when it's time for her Calling, a ceremony in which she is tasked to perform a magical feat to prove that she should be allowed to keep her magic, she opts to break the family curse.... too bad someone objects and sets a new task for her: to break his family curse. Kieran Pelumbra is the spoiled son of the most powerful family in the country and breaking his family curse has become her official assignment. Delilah should be mad but when she finds out that Kieran is dying and he doesn't have much time left and he is sorry for doing this to her but she is his final hope before he dies... she relents. Keiran needs Delilah to help him break his family curse: a curse that has killed every single set of twins in the family, and Keiran needs Delilah to help him find his twin Briar who has run away. Delilah is determined to break both her own curse and Keiran's curse, yet when she meets Briar she doesn't expect to be so completely taken aback by the prickly, eye patch wearing snarky girl who would sooner wrap vines around someones neck than ask for help. Delilah and Briar immediately get off on the wrong foot but the longer they spend together the more Delilah is beginning to realize that the reason Briar gets under her skin so much might be because she is falling for her. But can she fall for a woman when she is cursed to have all her lovers forget her? With the clock ticking and so many curses to break, can Delilah do it all? This was such a cozy romantic read and I loved the witchy atmosphere and the banter between Briar and Delilah was really cute. It's a great read for the autumn time and it's got a sweet love story at the center. I've loved Kayla Cottingham's books and this one was another great read! If you want a witchy sapphic read I would absolutely recommend this one!

Purchase Link: Amazon

Tour Link: TBR Beyond

Author Info: website

Release Date: August 27,2024

Publication/Blog: Ash and Books (ash-and-books.tumblr.com)

*Thanks Netgalley , Random House Children's | Delacorte Press, and TBR Beyond Tours for sending me an arc in exchange or an honest review*

[mumms-the-word]

Wedding ask! Can I ask for your 1, 15 & 18? Any ship that you feel like doing ♡♡

omg you grabbed one of the ones I haven't figured out yet but I really need to lol So some of this is locked down and some of it is me being like "idk! I have ideas!"

Wedding, or something else?

Dani had always considered marriage one of those idealistic things that only happen to madly in love people, or else it was a political arrangement. Her mother never married and her sort-of-foster-dad/mentor never remarried after his wife died, and she didn't expect to ever fall into a long-term romantic relationship. Gale changed all of that and the moment he proposed she realized she wanted nothing more in the world than to be his wife and officially become part of his family.

(Bonus: Freyr never thought about marriage until Minthara suggested that they join houses and take over the world under his name. But he doesn't have a last name/house name. So Minthara gives him one; I wrote about that moment here. That basically becomes their marriage, but who knows, maybe they make things official with a ceremony later.)

Vows and Unity Ceremonies

I'll admit this part is hazy for me, because I kind of hate writing vows for some reason. I've written weddings before, but without an actual liturgical script...idk some of it comes across as campy to me? And sometimes vows can be boring. So this is the one part I haven't figured out fully because I want it to be good.

I do know that Dani and Gale write their own vows to each other. Gale's a poet (a headcanon I have FULLY accepted, thanks to @sorceresssundries and others) and Dani is a songwriter and amateur poet. So of course they write their vows to each other.

I feel like for a unity ceremony, they'd probably just do a simple handfasting. The same sash they use to dance their first dance with is probably also used to bind their hands or arms together during their vows or during a priest's blessing. I'm not sure if they do anything else, since their ceremony is pretty quick. But I could see them doing that much, at least.

I also saw someone suggest a Tymora wedding ritual where the couple flips coins until they both get coins that come up as "heads," and I like that idea too? I want to play around with this part more.

I Now Pronounce You...

Dani 100% takes Gale's last name. Zavrai is her mother's last name, but there's no urge for her or her mother to keep it going, and the minute Gale suggested that there be "two Dekarioses" in Baldur's Gate, it was all over. She dreamed of being Dani Dekarios every day after that. Technically her new "government name" is Meridan Dekarios but Dani Dekarios rolls off the tongue and she absolutely loves it.

(Bonus #1 - Freyr and Minthara share a new house name. At the moment, it's Deviir, because I was using old drow lore books to make a name and completely forgot that Viconia's last name is DeVir, but I might just change it to Daeviir and call it a day. But them both taking it on is the easiest decision either of them made.)

(Bonus #2 - Ardynn and Halsin don't get married because Halsin isn't a marriage kind of guy. That said, she is sometimes referred to in the Reclaimed Lands as Miss Silverbough or Mistress Silverbough by newcomers, and she doesn't really correct them. She answers to both Silverbough and her actual last name, Harrow. Also, any children she has with Halsin take his last name rather than hers, so...there's that.)

I appreciate you asking, friend!!

[estellamiraiauthor]

The Stars May Rise and Fall: The Annotated Re-read (Chapter 18)

And here we are at chapter 18, which is… one I actually kind of like? And am proud of? What kind of bizarre opposite world are we living in?

And we finally meet Chizuru, who’s one of my favorite characters and who I’ve been talking about so much that I’m honestly surprised she doesn’t show up until chapter 18!

As always, spoilers (including spoilers for chapters beyond this one) under the cut. This chapter’s comments also include mention of death, including suicide.

So this is the first chapter we’ve had with the band in awhile, and lots of things are changing for the better: the new drummer, Nao, has officially joined, they’ve got staff (Kiyomi) to sell their goods, and today is the release date for the new single. Despite the disaster at the love hotel, Rei has of course finished the single… I’m not really sure if he’s expecting to be able to go on having a professional relationship with Teru… probably not, but he’s not going to back out of something he’s already specifically agreed to do (even if the CDs are just delivered impersonally to a PO Box). Also I think he’s still kind of Secretly Hopeful things will somehow work out?

Of course, Teru continues to feel like shit. It definitely doesn’t help that they’re back in the first venue where Rei initially saw him play, and he’s definitely not sure if he’s secretly hoping Rei is here tonight, as well.

Poor Nao, the replacement drummer, doesn’t get a lot of characterization… there was initially a little more, but other than being there and making the band better, he isn’t that important to the main plot, and a lot of it got cut. I don’t even think I really ever describe what he looks like, which is sad, because I always imagine him looking like this one guy in a band I used to follow who had long, straight hair parted down the middle that was jet black on one side and platinum blond on the other. That’s incredibly cool and I wish I’d included it.

But all that’s really left here is a short conversation about what happened to Bara and how some mysterious “fan” also suggested that Nao join the band… of course, Teru knows that this was also Rei, who he’s already trying and failing not to think about, and then when Nao makes a comment about smoking being bad for your voice (i.e. exactly what Rei always says), it’s just too much of a reminder, and Teru leaves the conversation to go upstairs.

(���Upstairs” here is the first basement, where the stage and the area for bands to sell their CDs and things are; the dressing room, the little break area, and the restrooms are in the second basement—all of this is based directly on the actual venue.)

Kiyomi gives him the set lists… I don’t think this is unique to visual kei or to Japan, but they’d always tape the set lists to the backs of the speakers or to the floor, at least one for every band member. I don’t really remember if I mentioned Kiyomi’s pretty, feminine handwriting to deliberately contrast it with Rei’s, which is barely legible, but maybe? Or maybe it was just a throwaway detail?

The next part is definitely not a throwaway detail, though. Kiyomi tells Teru she has something to tell him and takes him down into the stairwell leading to the restrooms (there are separate staircases for the restrooms, which anyone can use, and the dressing room and break area, which require a backstage pass). The stairwell is absolutely COVERED with graffiti, and this is, or at least was, more or less real. I’m not sure if the graffiti is still there, and of course the SPECIFIC graffiti in the book isn’t actually there, but the stairwell filled with graffiti proclaiming love for various bands was completely real.

What Kiyomi wants to show Teru is just that someone has written HIS band’s name on the wall, which is definitely cool—they’re a part of history! But of course that’s not the most important part of this scene.

I’ve talked before about the absolutely ridiculous death rate in this particular subculture. I don’t really think theres one specific reason behind it, but this particular type of music does tend to attract people who are intense, who just FEEL very deeply I guess and who might tend to live slightly reckless lives in pursuit of their music. There’s a lot of debate over whether Hide from X Japan was a suicide or not… people who knew him say he was probably just stretching his neck with a towel, not actually trying to hang himself. I’ve even heard it suggested that there was somehow foul play, although I’m not sure what the reasoning behind that is. Regardless, he was very drunk at the time and would apparently regularly get drunk and hurt himself… too fast to live too young to die, etc? There were a lot of sudden deaths—the book mentions Kami from Malice Mizer, who died of a sudden aneurysm in 1999. I think he was maybe in his mid-20s? Around 2002, the bassist from a little indie band I’d seen a few times died the same way; he was 19. There were quite a few car crashes when I was in the scene (not all resulting in death, but there would occasionally be concerts cancelled for minor injuries and there was a guitarist who lost an arm, etc.), probably just the result of young people who weren’t very experienced drivers rushing from concert to concert at midnight because they couldn’t afford a night off in a hotel in between. Suicides… although both were still alive at the time the story is set, and therefore aren’t on the wall, Isshi from Kagrra, Taiji from X Japan. And then there was the band where half of them drowned filming a music video. it’s just a LOT, compared to the overall population of the subculture, and quite a bit of the graffiti on that wall WAS “RIP” messages… and of course that’s the most important thing that Teru finds here.

An aside here… in retrospect, it seems completely ridiculous that Teru remembers Hide’s death as “over two years ago, now”, as if that’s a horribly long time. Two years, people. TWO. Oh, to be 21…. 😂Seriously, though, we’re coming up on the TWENTY FIFTH anniversary of Hide’s death next month, and this sort of wistful “two years ago” seems… “funny” is not the right word but… just very “21-year-old without a lot of life experience” in retrospect. (At the time I wrote it, I think two years legitimately seemed like a long time. I was 23.)

So I really think Teru is just kind of… confronting his own mortality here, because while of course he knows that youth and talent and beauty aren’t forever, he’s recently had reason to sort of have that emotionally driven home, and because that’s sort of on his mind ANYWAY he’s noticing the “RIP” messages probably more than he otherwise would… when he finds one for Rei’s band. Before this point, Teru didn’t actually know what Rei’s band was called or what any of his bandmates’ names were, but how many entire bands with frontmen named Rei all died (or, well, were rumoured to have died) all on the same night in 1995? It’s clear that this is Rei’s band, and finding it first makes Teru feel a little more of the age gap between them, I think… he was only 15 on January 5, 1995. And then I think it just makes him feel even sadder and more hopeless, and again that deep sense of injustice, this time not only for Rei but also for those other names on the wall.

A couple of other seemingly insignificant but actually important things happen here: Yasu tells Teru there’s an after party, and this time Teru agrees to go since for once he doesn’t have plans with Rei, and he considers and decides against wearing Kiyomi’s necklace… still hoping, I think, that Rei is going to be watching the show, even though he doesn’t expect it.

At the end of their set, the crowd actually screams for an encore… this was fairly unusual at these little shows with 5 or 6 bands playing (half the time the venue staff would quash it even if the fans asked for it), as is shown by the fact that they don’t actually have an encore prepared, and since their drummer JUST joined they can’t just dig up something old he doesn’t know yet… so they decide to play the second song that Rei gave them, which they’d been practicing but hadn’t planned to play live yet. The title (Phoenix) is another super blatant nod to Phantom of the Paradise. (Im not even sorry; that movie is the sole reason I wanted to write a Phantom retelling in the first place.)

Another one of my favorite lines here, as the audience laps up the suuuuper angsty, tragic song: “This is visual kei, after all. Who doesn’t love a good tragedy?” I think Teru’s partly just calling HIMSELF out here—yes, he’s more than a little drawn to Rei BECAUSE of the whole tragic backstory thing, and this room full of (mostly) girls who love all these songs about death and heartache and loss almost definitely spent way too much money on the Hide tribute album or the Kami memorial box set… at what point are we mourning these tragedies and at what point are we just plain enjoying them? I definitely don’t think Teru knows, and he’s probably as guilty of it as any of them, but now  he’s seeing that that’s not really fair either… that none of this is fair, and he doesn’t know how to deal with that.

But he doesn’t have time to process it because he has to go out into the lobby and sell CDs and sign autographs and I’m actually really proud of the MOOD of this whole thing. I like the way I wrote this chapter, sorrynotsorry.

And then at the very end of the night, when they’re all about to get kicked out, Teru finally goes up to the balcony, thinking Rei might be there after all… and he’s not, but he finally meets Chizuru, who’s the sort of Daroga character here, as in she’s the one who has known Rei for years, she’s the one who helps him, in various ways, navigate the “normal” world. I love her a lot… she’s so complicated, and we definitely don’t learn as much about her on the page as other characters, but even here, she says directly that she hates Rei and calls him a “self-centered bastard,” but also seems to genuinely want him to be happy—probably partly because it makes her life easier when he’s not in a terrible mood, but I also think that after fate kind of threw them together as the two survivors (she wasn’t in the accident, but as the hair and makeup artist she usually would have been with the band and I think does feel similar survivor’s guilt because she stayed behind), I do think she’s gotten to know him well enough that she does understand, sympathize with, and care for him, even if that doesn’t extend to friendship per se.

She gives Teru a message from Rei—to stop parading his “girlfriend” around in front of the fans. Rei is definitely just being petty here… I think he knows Teru doesn’t seriously want to date Kiyomi, but seeing her here just kind of reminds him of what he can’t have, and he takes out that kind of aimless frustration on Kiyomi (and Chizuru as his proxy). But then she tells Teru that Rei isn’t angry so much as he believes that he deserves everything that’s happened to him, but that he doesn’t really want to lose Teru…. In other words, encouraging Teru to go back and apologize.

I think this is partly selfish. Chizuru doesn’t want to be Rei’s caregiver forever. She wants to move on, as we’ll see later, but I do think there’s an obligation she feels to Rei. He doesn’t need 24 hour care anymore, but he definitely did at one point, and he’s not really 100% independent, even now. She’s not going to completely desert him and make him hire some government care worker… but if there’s anyone else out there who might actually WANT to help?

At the same time, though, I think she actually does care for Rei at some level. I think she’s also fiercely independent and can sort of identify with him on that… so while she’s not going to abandon him, she does want him to find something that’s more happiness and less “We depend on each other because everyone we actually loved is dead.”

Yeah, this is kinda relentlessly sad, I’m sorry.

[carriagelamp]

I feel like answering these, because I enjoy going through the books I read the previous year! I'm also going to tag people because I love hearing about people's book interest (and pilfering good recs)...

1. How many books did you read this year? According to goodreads I read 167 * * (baring in mind that I read quite a wide variety of books. I have novels, novellas, children's lit, graphic novels, manga, audiobooks... the works all mixed up together. I definitely did not read 167 big massive novels)

2. Did you reread anything? What? A few! My most significant one was The Hogfather by Terry Pratchett because that's one of my favourite Discworld novels, but I also reread The Secret Garden, Charlotte's Web, James and the Giant Peach, Scott Pilgrim, a few Asterix volumes, and Dragon Rider by Cornelia Funke

3. What were your top five books of the year? HARD TO CHOOSE THERE WERE SO MANY GOOD ONES THIS YEAR. Uhhh, I've been reading the (1) MXTX novels (Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation and Heaven Official's Blessing) and those really own my soul, (2) When The Angels Left The Old Country, (3) This Is How You Lose The Time War, (4) The Radium Girls, and (5) Camp Damascus??? I feel like I'm leaving so many off but those were some highlights

4. Did you discover any new authors that you love this year? I really enjoyed reading both of Kate Moore's books and would be interested in her putting out another in a similar style. I tried David Walliams for the first time and enjoyed most of the ones I read by him so far. I've obviously heard of Chuck Tingle before but this is my first time reading one of his books and Camp Damascus absolutely blue me away

5. What genre did you read the most of? Always fantasy. I'm a simple soul, I live for my Fantasy/Scifi

6. Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to? My TBR pile is mighty and unstoppable. I tend to just jump to whatever feels *right* so I can't say I have anything I'm disappointed in not having read... I'll get around to it when the time is right. I suppose the one thing I'm disappointed in was not being able to get through Gideon the Ninth... my gf loves it but I just couldn't get into it

7. What was your average Goodreads rating? Does it seem accurate? 3.6 apparently, which sounds right I guess? For every really good book there's always a few average books and a few duds I guess?

8. Did you meet any of your reading goals? Which ones? I make a point of never having reading goals. Reading is my hobby and I never want it to feel like a job. I read - goal completed! Oh, I did participate in my library's summer reading program which was a ton of fun!

9. Did you get into any new genres? I always consider myself very much NOT a non-fiction reader, but Kate Moore's books (The Radium Girls, The Woman They Could Not Silence) got me REALLY into it!

10. What was your favorite new release of the year? I have three! System Collapse (newest Murderbot book!), Camp Damascus, and Bookshops & Bonedust

11. What was your favorite book that has been out for a while, but you just now read? Bro that's 95% of the books I read. I'll say Moominland Midwinter (1957) though, because I haven't mentioned it yet and it was absolutely the most perfect winter read. I love Tove Jansson's writing style it makes me Feel things

12. Any books that disappointed you? The Darkness Outside Us by Eliot Schrefer. I've read some of his other books and really loved them but this was just completely not my genre/style/idk

13. What were your least favorite books of the year? The Dragon's Bride by Katee Robert, probably? If there's one I hated more I've forgotten it. My cousin likes this author and I promised I'd try reading one... man, she somehow made a monsterfucking novel boring. Cowardice, that's what it was. And so Heterosexual™ that it boggles the mind

14. What books do you want to finish before the year is over? I'm not intending to finish anything else until the new year, though I'm currently reading Horrorstör by Grady Hendrix so that'll probably be my next finished

15. Did you read any books that were nominated for or won awards this year (Booker, Women’s Prize, National Book Award, Pulitzer, Hugo, etc.)? What did you think of them? uhh I don't think so? I don't tend to read a lot of ~proper literature~ I'm too mired in genre fiction lol

16. What is the most over-hyped book you read this year? So. I finally read a couple of Beverly Cleary's Ramona Quimby books. I know these are iconic, nostalgic, childhood favourites for a lot of people but oh my god were they boring, sorry, I don't get the hype

17. Did any books surprise you with how good they were? The True Blue Scouts of Sugar Man Swamp was *way* better than I'd expected, the language was genuinely beautiful. Also Fortunately, The Milk, since I tend to be very hit or miss with Gaiman books but that one had me howling with laughter.

18. How many books did you buy? ........I didn't think I'd bought that many until I started counting them up. I don't wanna talk about it. Most were second hand, don't look at me

19. Did you use your library? Constantly, or I'd be in dire straights... see above

20. What was your most anticipated release? Did it meet your expectations? SYSTEM COLLAPSE BY MARTHA WELLS, MURDERBOT MY BELOOOOOOVED (and yeah it did, it was great, but now I'm desperate for the next)

21. Did you participate in or watch any booklr, booktube, or book twitter drama? You could not pay me enough. The closest I came was trying to read The Fourth Wing because apparently "booktok" liked it a lot and realizing it was a very mediocre horny romance that I didn't bother finishing

22. What’s the longest book you read? Doctor Who: 13 Doctors 13 Stories apparently. It's 624 pages apparently, but it's an anthology of short stories so it definitely didn't feel that long. Very fun read.

23. What’s the fastest time it took you to read a book? Oh, I dunno, I'm a slow reader... I guess a day, technically, because I read youth novels and novellas as well which go pretty damn fast. For proper novels, Camp Damascus was probably my quickest read just because I could not put it down

24. Did you DNF anything? Why? A few things... reading is very shamelessly my hobby, I do it for fun, and I don't have all that much free time. If a book doesn't end up interesting me then I have no problem ditching it. Why waste precious free time on something uninteresting when I could be doing literally anything else? A Complicated Love Story Set In Space, The Alchemy of Moonlight, Delicious Monsters, Clown in the Cornfield, How to Bite Your Neighbor and Win a Wager... a few more besides, but those are some standouts

25. What reading goals do you have for next year? Again, I'm not into reading goals. I'm planning on joining the library summer reading club again because that was fun... I'd like to read a bit more French this year because I've been slacking on it. Oh and I've been really wanting to reread The Princess Bride because my brother bought me a beautiful edition.

Tags - I don't know how much any of you are readers but if you're into it, I'm curious to hear about your reading! (I'm also tagging people I know mostly from my artblog so hello I'm also benevolenterrancy if you can't figure out why I'm tagging you) : @planningconquest, @rose-of-pollux, @nekosammsi, @yarrayora, @bookshop-cryptid, @sorrel-scribbles, @auxiliarydetective, @speakthespeech, @meso-mijali

end-of-year book ask

How many books did you read this year?

Did you reread anything? What?

What were your top five books of the year?

Did you discover any new authors that you love this year?

What genre did you read the most of?

Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?

What was your average Goodreads rating? Does it seem accurate?

Did you meet any of your reading goals? Which ones?

Did you get into any new genres?

What was your favorite new release of the year?

What was your favorite book that has been out for a while, but you just now read?

Any books that disappointed you?

What were your least favorite books of the year?

What books do you want to finish before the year is over?

Did you read any books that were nominated for or won awards this year (Booker, Women’s Prize, National Book Award, Pulitzer, Hugo, etc.)? What did you think of them?

What is the most over-hyped book you read this year?

Did any books surprise you with how good they were?

How many books did you buy?

Did you use your library?

What was your most anticipated release? Did it meet your expectations?

Did you participate in or watch any booklr, booktube, or book twitter drama?

What’s the longest book you read?

What’s the fastest time it took you to read a book?

Did you DNF anything? Why?

What reading goals do you have for next year?

[thetransgendert-rex]

Updated Pinned Post, December 16th, 2024!

I have officially left Facebook!

I'm Will Saville, AKA The Transgender T-Rex (the original, and the one and only) #TheTransgenderTRex

I'm a disabled, autistic gamer, inventor, and writer.

Currently writing a book series called A Tikevatian Odyssey, and working on a board game invention called Killer In The Keep, but as a creative autistic, there are bound to be other projects in my future

I am a cat dad to #LordOnyxBlepman #CallieRound and #HarveySquare

I unfortunately had to permanently surrender our cat Tiggy when we were in New Hampshire (September 1st, 2024), and I received word that he was very quickly adopted 😭

I am a house designer on EverQuest 2on the Halls Of Fate Server.

Former Facebook blogger known as The Transgender T-Rex. After I took down my blog, the bigots who have been harassing and stalking me (and doxxed me forcing me to flee Michigan and go to Massachusetts) made a fake blog pretending to be me, and accusing ME of being the imposter. This is a lie. The fake blog harasses other creators, is racist, derogatory, and deplorable. That is NOT who I am as a person!

Below is the fake blog's link.

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562846354777&mibextid=ZbWKwL

You can also get updates for my book series, short stories, poetry, songs, my board game, other projects, etc. by visiting the link below 🥰

www.Linktr.ee/thetransgendertrex

Former last names: Canon, Wilson, Newton, and Blake-Newton

Deadname: Bethany Lauren

Former chosen names: Blake and Andrew/Drew

Reason for final chosen name: Ancestry family tree found repetition for the name William Saville and I reclaimed it. I ended up finding out a friend of mine from EQ2 was a cousin of mine because of this choice! Blake was the only part of my former name that I chose for myself, it's what I would have named a son if I could have biological children. Andrew was chosen to honor my daughter Andrea Marjorie Canon that I miscarried at 17 weeks in November 8, 2013 (her father Shawn Gero unalived himself in 2022), and for my step mother who always wanted a daughter named Andrea, so I named my daughter for her. When I lost her, I was devastated. I later chose Andrew, the masculine version of the name, for my daughter and for Cyndi. Newton was my ex Gareth's last name, and I have filed for a fault divorce because he's an incarcerated pedophile that I turned in as soon as I realized what he was. I hope he rots there! We are now DIVORCED officially, and I am changing my name legally to William Blake Saville now that the divorce is finally over.

On September 19th, 2024 I moved into my 1 bedroom fully ADA accessible apartment with my Section 8 Voucher (I'm on Social Security and am a full time wheelchair user)! I was struck by an F150 Ford Sport when I was 18 and have a broken back and tailbone, hip dysplasia, and herniated disks. I also have advanced Multiple Sclerosis, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and I'm Autistic with ADHD.

Yes, there is a lot wrong with me, every day is a struggle but I try my absolute best.

Jasper is my legal caregiver, a caregiver's income is not counted towards mine as they are considered "medical equipment/reasonable accommodation" and although added to my lease, their income is completely their own.

Live-In Aide income not counted proof

https://finkrosnerershow-levenberg.com/section-8-housing-rules-for-live-in-caregivers/#:~:text=(See%20%C2%A7%20982.402(b)(,her%20income%20is%20not%20counted.

I no longer have to ask for help on a regular basis like I used to, unless I lose my benefits. I only ask for help if I have no choice now. Jasper's money is their own to do with what they please, just like it was back in Michigan, we have come to the agreement that I pay rent, utilities, phone, and Internet while they handle pet costs.

I struggled with rent in Michigan because our former house in Pontiac was $313 a month, with not a single included utility. Our former landlord also charged an extra $50 PER month PER cat despite them being ESAs as legally allowed to do because they didn't own a large amount of properties. Landlords don't have to go by the Fair Housing Act if they aren't a multi-property owner over a certain limit before they have to adhere to the law. All cats here have ESA papers that qualify them under the fair housing act as reasonable accommodations. I only had to ask for as much help as I did before now because that for survival when I was homeless, and before that it was because our old house in was out of my financial means, but finding housing in Michigan that takes section 8 is nearly impossible. My rent at my apartment is $175 a month, all utilities but electricity and Internet are included. My laundry facility is in the building, and I have an ADA apartment that I can do upkeep on, and take care of myself easier because I can use my wheelchair in my unit. So I'm able to not only meet all of my needs with my SSI by being on the section 8, voucher, I can buy healthy foods to lose weight (already down to 390lbs and I was at 520lbs when I moved to Massachusetts because of having to eat processed food all the time because of the house being inaccessible) I have keto food and snacks, Soylent, and slim fast as well. And I've been doing wheelchair yoga.

I'm thriving now. And I'm also able to help fund other queers now and provide mutual aid instead of needing it all the time.

Which is exactly as I prefer.

I also have the money to spoil the hell out of the cats with a treat dispenser filled with supplement treats that help with hairballs, joints, energy, etc. and they have gravity dishes, and a much better litter system. They each get 2 servings of wet food a day now. This is always what I wanted.

I am living within my means now, and am able to give back to the community and do fun stuff.

ESA Information links

https://www.hud.gov/program_offices/fair_housing_equal_opp/assistance_animals

https://www.humanesociety.org/resources/fair-housing-act-and-assistance-animals#:~:text=Even%20if%20a%20lease%20says,which%20includes%20emotional%20support%20animals.

I have survived so much trauma. I want to learn how to live rather than survive but life keeps throwing punches.

I moved to Massachusetts because that's what Jasper and the friend we had staying with us wanted, I was outvoted. We may or may not stay in Massachusetts, but I won't be updating this post if we leave, all updates will be on my link tree!

Based on my experiences while waiting for housing before moving in, and other issues I have noticed when I lived in Massachusetts before, I plan on getting involved in local government so that what happened to me doesn't happen to anyone else. There is no reason someone in a wheelchair should ever have to spend a SINGLE night, let alone 25 nights, on the streets because of their disabilities making them a liability.

Here is the link to my last pinned post on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1By2M4MKq4/

There have been a lot of false accusations about me that I'm no longer willing to refute on a daily basis. The below posts show that those false accusations have been recanted. Those who know me know what I am and am not capable of, and who I am as a person, and know my character. That is all I am willing to say on the matter of past accusations.

Post about Jasper recanting their "groomer" accusations about me, and admitting to doctoring screenshots in an effort to cause me to lose housing and friends out of anger. Me grieving my father, and making it very clear that I have NOT been a part of trying to take down the bigots in any way. I just want a quiet life.

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/193jNd4zrh/

I have forgiven Jasper, and they know they have to earn back trust with me, but we both made mistakes while we were together and after we broke up. Getting back together is most likely in the cards, but we are taking things SLOW. However, they were over here spending the night when my step mother reached out to tell me that My father passed away, and Jasper kept me sane while the emotions kicked my ass. Because even though he was a bad father to me, I still grieve him because I loved him regardless of the pain. I grieve the father I had, and the father I WISH I had, the father a child SHOULD have.

Below are posts related to my dad

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1CoRYA8Rqn/

[phantomdialogue]

˗ˏˋ. ݁₊ ✶ ˖ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐥𝐲𝐧𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 - 𝟔/𝟓 ☆ . ݁ ˖ˎˊ˗

sequel to better than the movies

in honor of its official release today, here is my review of what may be my favorite book of the year that i had the honor of reading an arc of in august. THERE WILL BE MINOR SPOILERS BELOW THIS TIME!

premise: wes bennett’s life fell apart 2 years ago when tragedy struck his family and lost him his relationship with his favorite girl in the world. now he’s picked up the pieces of that shattered life and wants her back. liz buxbaum has had 2 years since their breakup to swear off love as a whole, going from the rom com queen to the cynic. but wes has a plan to make her believe in love —their love— again.

couple: wes bennett and liz buxbaum

tropes: second chance romance, college setting, fake dating

beware there are heavy themes of grief in this book but nothing too explicit

review below!

review:

first, anyone who says that BTTM didn't/doesn't need a sequel... please just read this book. it really is worth every second. lynn painter, my soul belongs to you. i went into this book thinking that better than the movies had become my least favorite of her books and not expecting much, but OH. MY. GOD. this topped betting on you for me somehow when i was so sure nothing would top that.

liz wasn't my favorite character in BTTM, but this book immediately redeemed her for me. the theme of grief in this book is just perfection to me. i can really relate to wes so much throughout this book and getting to read his POV really just made this book so much better (i clearly love lynn's dual POV books the best). watching wes get to lean into the romcom aspects was so fun and really did make me melt.

some specific moments that i jotted down while reading were: "oh my god, she mentioned in between by gracie abrams... she's heard us", "CHARLIE AND BAILEY CAMEO CHARLIE AND BAILEY CAMEO CHARLIE AND BAILEY CAMEO" (can you tell i got excited? lynn making charlie and wes cousins was the best decision ever made), and "he knows the exact number of days... 720 days... oh my god"

in the end, by the ultimate shocking turn of events, this is my new favorite lynn painter book i've read, and it's topped betting on you, which i never thought possible. i liked this WAY more than BTTM and i did spend a good 15 minutes crying after finishing it.

q & a:

are they endgame? - i'm going to be honest. if you asked me if liz and wes were endgame after BTTM, i would have told you no. i would have said that they both needed to mature and maybe they could have come back together later in life because their relationship was just a bit... juvenile? i felt like, as cute as they were, they couldn't have lasted through the hard stuff in the long run (and apparently, i was right). BUT NOW. now they are endgame. wes and liz needed the time apart, and they needed the space to learn more about themselves, who they were outside of high school/the little bubble they lived in.

did i cringe? - i don't think there was anything that stood out to me in terms of cringey moments. i think that lynn does a really great job of writing for a mainly gen z audience without making the language she uses cringey.

favorite part? - i don't know if i could choose... there is so much about this book that i think about constantly even nearly two months after finishing it. the first thing that stands out to me, that i also feel like has been really misunderstood by other readers, is how lynn handles wes' grief. grief has a way of absolutely decimating your life at any age but at 18/19, it really is truly life-wrecking. i think she really was able to lean into it and handle it gracefully as she showed the issues that wes still has two years later and, at the same time, show the damage it did so extensively and understandably. while other people say that what wes did/what happened was completely out of character, i think they fail to understand that you're not yourself when you are dealing with that level of grief and for me, it made me feel extremely seen as someone who went through something similar at the same age. as well, the ending, the epilogue, made me sob profusely. it may be one of my favorite endings i've read in a book recently. the way it pushes away from the action to give us one last goodbye to these characters and where we met them made me incredibly emotional.

least favorite part? - this really is so much harder to pick than favorite part because i'm not sure i could pick something i didn't like. i think both wes and liz were extremely validated in this book and the interactions between them were so realistic especially toward the end with the push and pull of a "will they won't they" moment because when you're in that position, it really is so hard to make a definite decision on it. if i really had to pick, i'd say that maybe the extra roommates of liz just because i felt like they didn't really add a ton to the story. but i did still enjoy their presence at times.

favorite quotes (some spoilers here, of course, but minimal/out of context):

Regarding Lizzie, I had all the intentions in the world.

We were in the past, and he was simply someone I used to know.

"Okay, so tell me your three favorite things about UCLA so far." Liz Buxbaum, Liz Buxbaum, and Liz Buxbaum.

"I don't want to discuss this with anyone, ever, but if I have to, I'd choose you over anyone else."

Now we're just two people who used to know each other.

His gaze was more than familiar. His gaze was home.

It'd been better than the movies, I swear to God.

You don't was the answer. You don't get over her.

But not before taking a moment to pull into The Spot one final time.

"The dude looks at you like he knows he's going blind in an hour and he's trying to memorize every detail of your face."

There really was a fine line between love and hate, and Libby's rage fueled me to burn that line to the ground.

Eventually, we'd find our way back to each other again. I'd been certain of it. Silly little love lover.

I'd never be sure if she was my type--had I always had a fondness for redheads with green eyes?--or if she'd created my type. She was the prototype.

"Because you shouldn't have to mentally split a person in two in order to love them."

"I am just Wes fucking Bennett, Lib, the guy who can't remember a single day in his life when he didn't love you."

"Because our good moments were the crumbs that fed me for seven hundred and twenty 12:13s when I was alone."

It's like I breathe for you, like I exist to exist alongside of you.

"It wasn't you, I don't think, or me. I think it was just life that made us cry."

[awritingcaitlin]

March Wrap-Up

Wow somehow it’s already April. But also… finally it’s April. March felt like it went by in a flash and also like it dragged on forever. 💜Regarding Me💜 So the packing chaos continued into March as we continue to prep to move. In addition to packing came cleaning and other necessary things to get a house on the market. We also went and looked at new houses, and there’s some we really like, but without our current house selling first, it’s too soon to put an offer on one.

Currently, I’m living in ~staged house purgatory~ which is a real fun time in which we pretend we don’t live in the house and thus there is no trash, no litter boxes, and no extraneous items laying out. 🙃

Freelance work has picked up a little, but I’m hoping I get something more regular to cover both some of the expected and unexpected expenses of moving. 💻At the Keyboard💻 Despite all the moving shenanigans, I got back into writing late in the month! I’ve officially rewritten the first five chapters of Heist for Draft 3! A grand total of like 4k new words over the past week really. All of my main characters have been introduced and the plot is now underway. I’m really happy for the direction it’s taken and I’m crossing my fingers that the next five chapters come easily to me. And then the five after that, and then the five after that…

Considering it’s Camp Nano April, even though I’m not participating on the site due to ~reasons~, I’m going to try to prioritize writing a little more this month. It’s actually hard to track word count when this is a revision and so some of the chapters will be just copied into the new draft with minimal changes. But I’d like to see maybe 50-60k total words in Draft 3 by the end of the month if I can swing it. Which should get me well into Act 2. Completing Act 2 would be an absolute stretch goal.

I’d put an expected date to have Draft 3 done by, but with moving and trying to find work, it’s hard. 📚From the Bookshelf📚 I finished Ryka Aoki’s Light From Uncommon Stars. I’ll be honest, I came to the book looking for the deals with demons and the violins. I stayed for the queerness and all the references to California. I honestly really loved the book. It didn’t shy away from talking about how being different affects a person—whether that be race, class, or identity. I also cannot even begin to describe just how much I loved reading how music was described throughout the narrative. It’s given me ideas for what I want to do in Heist and if I wasn’t moving and trying not to buy new things, I’d by a physical copy to annotate. (Maybe I’ll by an ebook and figure out how to annotate with my iPad.)

I loved every single POV and I felt like every one of them came to the table with a desire that was valid and made sense. Honestly, the only thing I didn’t like was that it felt like there were two ways the author wanted to end the book and she couldn’t decide which one worked better, so she went with both. Except they don’t 100% match up.

Do not let that keep you from reading this book however, because it’s absolutely amazing. Read it if you like music. Read it if you want to read about what it means to be a person. For what it means to be love and accepted no matter who you are. I’m still thinking about it weeks after I finished. I’ll end this here, since that’s about all I have for now. Stay tuned for whatever April brings!

[at-the-sign-of-the-fox-n-phoenix]

From a 50 year old artist who is also Not Disney who is a long time Tumblrite who wants to support your livelihood but can’t for many reasons -

You appear to be a Twitter refugee, if I’m understanding your 'I make money on Twitter’ statement correctly (which I may not have properly understood), who seems to be struggling because you have not yet adapted to the local culture and are, as a result, completely misreading the room.  It happens and is not something to be ashamed of, but it is also NOT the culture you’re new in’s problem.  It’s a you thing.  When I was moved by my family with them to South Korea during my childhood, I had the same problem for a good long while. I learned and adapted over time.  I believe you can do the same.  You’re a fucking artist.  OF COURSE YOU CAN.  YOU ARE BRILLIANT.

HELPFUL QUESTIONS TO SUPPORT YOU BUILDING YOUR FRIEND GROUPS HERE AND ALSO YOUR BUSINESS NETWORK (THEY MAY OR MAY NOT BE THE SAME THING) -

1.  Have I made sure my profile picture IS a profile picture I put effort into and not one of the default Tumblr ones?  Having a default Tumblr profile pic screams I AM NOT A HUMAN, and NOBODY will buy shit from what they think is a bot.

2.  Have I made sure I reblog things that I like (especially my and other artists’ art)?  Have I commented and added on every post I have enjoyed?  Tumblr is a team sport where there is no ‘enemy’ and it all becomes jokey art.  Even the just talking posts.  Even the instructive posts.  We have a Science Side.  We have a History Side.  We have experts on shit, who really, really are EXPERTS, who won’t tell you their names since they’d love to get tenure but if you read in their disciplines, you know who you’re talking to.  (NO WORRIES REPUTABLE ACADEMICS I AM NOT GONNA OUT YOU!)  Not reblogging, commenting, etc means you’re not participating.  Nobody willingly spends time with people just leeching off of them, let alone buys anything from them.  We care about each other here.  It will help if you cultivate that, as well.  We are not mere ATMs.  Nor are you.  We are in your same boat, for the most part.

3.  If you have fixed items 1 and 2, if they needed fixed, now you move to the real way you find your people: 3a.  What fandoms do you suspect might most vibe with your work?  Go find out.  Share your art.  What is the response?  Is this a spot to consistently share your work (with prices listed in case anybody is interested in having it on their wall or side table)?  

EXAMPLES of 3a - 3ai.  Do you draw Dean Winchester’s car model and year in various situations?  SPN WANTS THEIR CAR BACK, BABY.  and you can give it to them. 

3aii.  Do you do lots of abstract stuff?  Make bizarro world fantasy thingies?  You may walk into UNREALITY, ABSTRACT, FANTASY tags and find your people.

3aiii.  Does your art fit mostly into one or a few different aesthetic styles?  We have whole aesthetics fandoms here.  Do you do sweet pastoral landscapes? GET THEE TO THE COTTAGECORE TAG! 

3aiv.  Do you like drawing giant monsters, original or otherwise?  JAPANESE KAIJU, GODZILLA, etc tags are calling your name. 

4.  PROMOTE YOUR FELLOW ARTISTS.  It is proof you aren’t just out to cover you own ass.

4a. EXAMPLES

4ai.  NOW to the Absolutely Shameless plugs for all the artists I already know (if we want our own livelihoods to happen, friend, we boost everyone else who also is Not Disney who is just trying to survive late stage capitalism):

4aii.  I buy from Diane Duane (@dduane) and boost all sales notices I see from her eBooks Direct shop so others can, too. She writes the safe for neurodivergent, queer kids Young Wizards series (So You Want to Be a Wizard, etc), she writes Middle Kingdom, and her dear one, Peter Morwood (@petermorwood) - who is beloved on Tumblr for his in depth swords posts and adorable cat posts, also has many books in that shop.  Both are veterans of writing for the Star Trek franchise OFFICIALLY!  No, no ST series are in eBooks Direct, those are all property of the Franchise and so not for them to sell. There are often sales including EVERYTHING IN THE SHOP for like 40 USD.  They cannot sell to UK, sadly. (Corrections welcome, Writer Aunti!)

4aiii.  When I have money again I will be buying from @momolady - she writes exophilic love stories and makes some epic, genre related stickers.

4aiv.  Also from @monstersandmaw who’s art is diverse and lush and wonderful and I can’t even accurately describe it aside from often sculpture or useful and LUSHLY BEAUTIFUL. 

4av.  my friend Ashleigh makes some epic, investment worthy collage art over on Etsy - https://www.etsy.com/shop/aTinyArtGarage.  Check it out!

4avi.  Our Beloved @theshitpostcalligrapher​ also has an Etsy shop - OMG the calligraphy, Illumination and the SHITPOSTS!  https://www.etsy.com/shop/WitchsGrove?ref=shop-header-name&listing_id=1326505436

4avii.  Finally, I (Phoenix M.T. Noah @at-the-sign-of-the-fox-n-phoenix) am a poet and bookbinder.  You can hear my first spoken word album, produced by Thomas Herlofsen, a Norwegian punk musician and author of the poetry book Chatterheart, on Google’s assistant just by telling it to give you the latest album by Phoenix M.T. Noah.  You’ll get to hear FENRIR’S MOTHER.  And yes, I’ve earned a tiny amount from people here choosing to listen.  It’s also on YouTube, SoundCloud, and everywhere else, I’m told.  I do have a Patreon and that sponsors 2 in person, outdoor in the park open mics (POETIC MISCHIEF IN THE PARK) every month so people can come and share their work in a supportive environment.

You can do this, @mtomauw.  I believe in you.  Show me your art so I can plug it, too.  : )  YOU ARE WORTHY OF YOUR LIVELIHOOD.  So are we all.

The only thing I need tumblr to do is to get like... cool with the idea you can hire people here to do commissions for you and to like.. consider monetary support for artists cuz one of the reasons and the biggest reason I moved to twitter in the first place is because people there buy my art. I make a living there doing art. And the vibe here is **we don't do that here** If you want artists to be here and do art you gotta be okay with the concept of artists trying to make money. I hate capitalism as much as the next person but I'm also 30 years old living with my fucking parents because I can't pay for a 1 bedroom apartment. Artists are not 'big business'. We're not Disney. We're just people trying to make a living or some money for groceries and shit.

[sinterblackwell]

2023 - mid-year book freak out tag

yay to getting into danmei. yay to my current read, qiang jin jiu, that’s wrapped itself around my brain.

yay to turning 22, and so as a gift to myself, i wrote to my heart’s content about some of the reads that have stood out to me this year so far.

it was really fun <3 and long lol enjoy

best book you’ve read so far in 2023?

the grandmaster of demonic cultivation (vol. 3) by mxtx

this is actually a much more objective answer, like scum villain would seem the most obvious choice being that it’s my new all-time comfort series but genuinely, the plot and character arcs of mdzs were so truly well-done and completely mind-bending to me, i was obsessed with it through & through.

best sequel you’ve read so far in 2023?

the scum villain’s self-saving system (vol. 2) by mxtx

this is the volume where shen qingqiu/shen yuan really gets himself in deeper trouble as despite how adamant he is that the people he’s contending with, including luo binghe, are simply fictional characters, he twists the story so much that he finds himself enveloped in it. and he soon has to come to face that his actions do have serious consequences that affect the emotions & actions of others.

also the angst….luo binghe was so goddamn heartbroken the whole time and sqq couldn’t even understand it, it was a lot. i loved it.

new release you haven’t read yet but want to?

ascension by nicholas binge

this story reminds me so much of echo by thomas olde heuvelt, one of my top 3 reads of 2022, and while things certainly will be different, i am very excited for what the premise is promising.

most anticipated release for the second half of the year?

the husky & his white cat shizun (vol. 3) by meatbun

this official english translation by seven seas entertainment was set to be released much sooner, im recalling maybe around the first half of the year?? and then it just got set back even further, which absolutely pained me with the way things ended in volume 2. it was definitely probably for a good reason since it promises that the translation will give the story a lot of justice by being more thorough, but damn 🥲

imagine starting this series in late january and then finding out you won’t get to know what happens next for about seven whole months. i’ve had lots of experience at this point, you would think i’d be used to it, but i simply am not. what makes it worse is that there are already fans out there who know what happens, they know the story from beginning to end. and for those who couldn’t understand chinese, there were fan translations to help include those better with english into the fandom, but now that’s gone, since seven seas has taken the rights of the official english translations.

this volume isn’t set to come out until september. i wholeheartedly cannot wait another moment, and yet i am simply here….waiting :’)

biggest disappointment?

maniac (necessary evils, #7) by onley james

you know….this series is not perfect by any means. the writing can be pretty average every once in a while, the dialogue cringey at times and almost juvenile, even, despite how dark the content is. but the author writes one hell of a case for each book, and it’s a very unique premise for the story as a whole. this is the same author who completely changed me after reading asa & zane’s story in headcase, making me break outside of my comfort zone when it came to what i consume in romance; and the fact that i actually enjoyed it??

as someone who has just recently experienced this same thing with danmei, this is something i’ll always appreciate her for because it was a huge jump out of my comfort zone that i would’ve never given a second thought to before but i was already five books into the series so there was no turning back, i was committed.

with this very interesting take on the found family trope, and the clear care that the author took regarding the subject of these psychopaths handling these grim cases, i was very much sad about having to say goodbye to the characters because i don’t think this is something i could’ve read by anyone else, and i don’t think there’s anything similar. so it made it even more disappointing when with this particular relationship in this final book, all the build-up that had been written of this dynamic from all the way back to unhinged, just suddenly collapsed and didn’t feel nearly fully resolved. the subject matter, especially with thomas’ painful backstory, was just as dark and difficult to read as the others, and it felt personal because of course it was, he was the center of this entire project that made this story. but….it was hard to reckon with knowing how the plot itself actually was pretty solid but then just kinda tied itself up way too neatly by the end?

i like this found family, i really really do, and it’s nice to know that they get their happy endings, but the way it was written felt so easy. what these characters were doing were pretty huge on a national scale and all eyes are on them due to their fame & popularity, and yes i can believe that the system maybe is just that oblivious, maybe that’s why they’re even doing this in the first place, but a part of me was hoping to see much more tension, more stakes built that puts these characters all in all in a very precarious position. this final book hints at that in the synopsis but it doesn’t follow through that well, because again, everything just seemed pretty rushed and a bit lackluster in execution once this final mystery was solved with a bloody red bow. the closest to these characters getting into any trouble was when zane in headcase, as a budding crime reporter, was actually pretty damn close to completely unraveling all the secret dealings that the mulvaney family were involved with. but then he meets asa, and well…here he goes becoming a part of the mulvaneys and easing into their operation with his own skill set as a reporter, which you gotta love for him.

if i look at this from a different angle, i can see another reader possibly enjoying this because again, this series could just be a nod to how fucked up the justice system is that a group of psychopaths are the ones to rid these terrible people off the streets. what they’re doing isn’t evil at all, it’s just as a minor character tells zane in headcase, that if what the mulvaneys were doing was to be revealed to the whole goddamn world, a great majority would probably be thankful for it because these people they’re taking out are genuinely awful and completely irredeemable. so no, i don’t wish for the mulvaneys to get punished, they’ve already been through enough in their own pasts and they deserve to get to live this very unconventional and comfortable life with each other; especially noah and zane.

is this an outcome that any good therapist would wish for these two in particular?? hell no….but they’re happy and they’ve been through enough neglect & abuse in their childhoods, let them be pampered by their psychopathic lovers and be part of a family that has well and done proven they would literally kill for them to secure their protection….because they already have.

at the end of the day, i guess for a finale…i just expected more, personally?? and it felt a little flat for me is all. the more time goes on, the more i don’t feel all that positive about my enjoyment of the final book. but i still have soft feelings for the characters, and it does kill me to think i simply don’t understand the story as well as i wish i could’ve.

the ending just wasn’t entirely for me, sad to say. and the writing, didn’t do a lot as i hoped for.

so yeah….there’s that 😅 (i’m definitely using this as my goodreads review)

biggest surprise?

hawk mountain by connor habib

see, the writing style was pretty interesting, which was a bit of a surprise on its own since it was just so completely unlike a lot of what i’m used to reading. but even more so, the big surprise lied in a plot twist that happened in the story. and now, with this twist, it was something i already had predicted, but it happened so much sooner than i had thought and so to see how the author wrote the aftermath, the next 200 or so pages that were still left in the book, it was very impressive, making the story that much more intense to me, and it also made me appreciate what he was doing at all.

i also would say another surprise is just the fact that i even read this book at all since i literally read it in the spur of the moment after first hearing about it in a booktube video where the creator was being recommended this title and the words “an English teacher is gaslit by his charismatic high school bully” immediately made me check out this story on libby, which!! would you look at that?? it was available.

i wasn’t reading anything else at the moment since at the time, i had to wait to read the next volume for tgcf, so that definitely made for a memorable reading experience :’)

new favorite author?

rou bao bu chi rou, aka ‘meatbun doesn’t eat meat’

if we’re looking at the numbers, mxtx would actually be the one who’s a new favorite since i’ve read all her translated books up to this point. and while i do respect her a ton as an author, meatbun just really stands out with only two of the works i’ve been able to read by her: dumb husky & his white cat shizun + yuwu.

yuwu especially, even though i’ve only read the first volume in the seven seas eng. translation, it made a huge impression on me because of how much i loved the way this particular author writes her characters. there’s a different brand of humor that’s unlike mxtx, which makes it difficult to compare, but the relationships meatbun has her characters involved in in particular, especially the main pairing, really throw me for a loop because they’re like the definitions of tragic lovers, but there’s still so much more going on in the story, so much deception and political struggles going on, i deeply enjoy every bit of it. yeah there’s a lot of angst, but the yearning….i can’t get enough. especially being in mo xi’s pov.

newest fictional crush?

i….do not have one. the closest ones i can come up with are michael stirling from when he was wicked by julia quinn + wyatt mckinley from how to say i do by tal bauer. and this is just because they’re definitely my most favorite love interests i’ve read this year so far :’)

newest favorite character?

- jiang cheng from grandmaster of demonic cultivation by mxtx

it’s as i said to another reader friend of mine (i’m doing this word for word lol):

he has anger issues. a bitter human being. he lashes out pretty quickly because he doesn’t like being seen as vulnerable. he turned out very closely like his dead mother, who was abusive, but it wasn’t written all black & white, at least the story didn’t make it so but the fandom took it upon themselves to do as such. he lost a lot and the way cultivation society manipulated that to make him turn against his own brother, was very hard to read.

he’s so complicated, i love that in characters. i love characters who get so many chances to be better and they have that potential but their own vices make them fall short, they just…feel so bittersweet, and they have these moments where the sweet shines through a little, but it’s not permanent. it’s there, but it’s fleeting.

book that made you cry?

ahem….heaven official’s blessing (vol. 4) by mxtx

TWO words: blackwater arc

book that made you happy?

- sent to a fantasy world and now all the men want me (vol. 1) by jaclyn osborn

no, this is not a manga, but it has all the tropes seen in a book where the mc is “isekai’d into a fantasy world and magically gets into a harem” (as said by a friend when i was speaking to them about it). and they were right!!

at first, i was going to list the true love experiment by christina lauren as the winner but just a few days ago, i finished this story, and it was so ridiculous and fun and heartwarming and had such an interesting world for evan & me to dive into, i couldn’t help myself putting it on here.

it’s so incredibly self-indulgent, and it just makes the story even better. i already miss kuya and can’t wait to see him & sawyer get their happy ending in the future because it will come. same for lake, lake is a sweetheart who deserves better.

most beautiful book you bought this year?

- all the sinners bleed by s.a. cosby (x)

literally just bought this book and i gotta say, 75% of the reason was because of how stunning the blood moon is on the cover :’)

books you really need to read by the end of the year?

- dark heir (dark rise, #2) by c.s. pacat

- all the hidden paths (the tithenai chronicles, #2) by foz meadows

technically, these books don’t even come out until the end of the year. but i know damn well that is there no way i’m not reading them before the world turns 2024.

dark heir i have been waiting for for about TWO years now, and all the hidden paths was a pleasant discovery since the first book read pretty much as standalone; but with how expansive the worldbuilding was and same for the court intrigue, plus all the drama that happened near the end, it only makes sense that there’s still a lot to uncover in this universe so i am very much looking forward to it.

[bitch-for-bo]

Sweetheart (Piercer! Suna Rintarō x Brat! Chubby reader)

didn't know I needed piercer! rintarō until i wrote this...

NSFW: MINORS GTF OUTTA HERE!!!!!

It was really stupid. 

The way you were crying was so fucking stupid.

You didn’t even really know why you were crying……

….well….that was a lie…..

You were crying because of that stupid asshole in your college lit course. The one who led you on all semester before telling you that you were ‘not his type’ 

Not his type? 

He took you out for ice cream before trying to feel you up in his shitty little car and when you told him you didn’t really feel like doing anything that soon, he went off. Yelling about how you’d been tricking him and how he didn’t want a relationship, how you were ‘just for fun’ ‘cause he would never date ‘a girl like you’. 

Needless to say, you would be moving seats in class. 

This was constantly how it was, it had happened to you so many times that you’d just accepted that you would always only be the ‘just for fun’ girl. You’d always be the one that they snuck past their friends, not wanting to explain why they’d brought a girl like you home, just a bunch of assholes who didn’t want to receive judgment from their asshole friends. 

And while you had tried your best to suffer through this treatment, thinking it’d eventually get better, you were officially over it. Which was why you couldn’t figure out for the life of you, why you were wasting tears on this guy. 

You ended up wine drunk with your friends, bitter-watching 2000s rom-coms and trying not to let them talk you into an irresponsible decision. 

But you were sad. 

So you let them. 

You ended up scrolling through a local tattoo shop’s website, admiring the pieces and wincing at the prices. You wanted something cute….. but also inexpensive….. and probably kinda small. 

……but still…….tattoos were so….. permanent, did you really want to be reminded of this asshole every time you saw yourself in the mirror?

That was when you saw that this shop also did piercings. 

It was perfect. 

Piercings were small, not super expensive, and easily removable if you got absolutely sick of them. 

You booked your appointment for the following week and woke up to a pretty harsh hangover the next day.

A week later you walked into the shop and almost died on the spot. 

You stuck out like a sore thumb. 

More than two sets of eyes watched as you walked through the lobby of the shop, making you flinch and shrink into yourself under their stares.

You got to the counter and tried to hide your pleasant surprise when the woman behind the counter offered you a bright smile. 

“ ‘r you our 3 ‘o clock? Piercing?” 

You nodded, smiling back at her. 

“Sweet. Follow me” 

She got up and let you further into the shop, passing a couple of stations, almost all filled with customers. 

“We have private rooms for our piercers, especially your type of piercing.” the woman winked at you, laughing as your eyes widened and your mouth dropped into a little ‘o’. 

“Ahh, don’t worry! I’m just teasing,” her face dropped a bit, “... but we do want you to be comfortable.”

The two of you arrived at your room. She led you in and let you take a seat in the chair.

“Alright.” She started, leaning against the counter and clasping her hands in front of her “now, we have a really great piercer, he does all of our piercings and we’ve literally never gotten a single complaint about him.” 

Your face must’ve dropped when she said ‘him’. 

“We also have an apprentice, who is definitely great, but she is also still learning….and you are new to this.” 

You nodded. 

“While I completely get it if you want her to pierce you, I will say that she isn’t nearly as good as our main piercer.” 

You nodded again, slower this time. 

“So I’ll give you a minute or two to decide. Like I said… no pressure.” she offered a thumbs up before leaving the room, telling you she’d be back briefly to get your answer. 

You were split. You really were… on one hand, you wanted a female piercer, but on the other hand, you really didn’t want this to get messed up. And who knew? What if you had difficult nipples to pierce? What if she tore through it? What the fuck would happen then? 

So while you didn’t necessarily want a man piercing your nips, you decided that he was a professional for a reason and that you would rather feel embarrassed for a couple of minutes than be in too much pain. 

When the manager came back in, you told her. 

“Fantastic, I’ll let him know you’re here, and when I see you next, you’ll have some sick fucking piercings.” 

She left with one last thumbs up, leaving you to twiddle your thumbs and wait for your piercer.

The man that came through that door was somehow, exactly what you’d expected. 

Tall, dark, and handsome, sporting tattoos in the form of patchwork sleeves and one that wrapped around the side of his neck. He couldn't have been shorter than 6’2”, and while he was definitely lean, you could tell he was still pretty built with the way that his biceps flexed as he closed the door behind him. 

You were also exactly what Suna expected when his manager let him know his appointment was ready. Another college-age girl getting her nipples pierced. 

Of course, you weren’t like every other college girl that came in here, you were sitting so he couldn’t get the full effect, but Suna knew just by how you looked now that you were absolutely his type. 

Your plump thighs were pressed together as you sat rigidly, making him regret that he didn’t have a smaller chair, just so he could see them squish together more, to see your ass struggle to fit in. You were sitting uncomfortably straight, obviously nervous, but Suna didn’t mind, the way that you were pushing your chest out gave him the perfect view of how nicely your shirt fell against your tits, nipples visible though not hard enough to pierce yet, he observed. 

Your face burned as you watched your piercer's eyes attach to your nipples. You knew that it was literally his job, and that he probably did this at least twice a day, but that didn’t stop you from feeling like there was something inherently intimate about it. So you turned your eyes away from his face, hoping he would hurry up with his assessment. 

And while Suna did do this quite often, and he was always incredibly professional about it, he just couldn’t help but stare at you a bit longer. After all, you were exactly his type… and when you rolled your eyes away from him, a small frown making its way onto your face, he couldn’t stop the grin from coming onto his. 

“How’re you doing?…. I’m Rintarō….I’ll be piercing you today.” 

You nodded, offering a small smile as you reached out to shake his hand.

Damn…. His hand was fucking huge compared to yours. You’d never had small hands, quite average actually maybe even bigger simply accounting for your extra weight, but even with the fake nails you had on, Rintarō’s fingers were still longer than yours, and definitely thicker. And wow his hands were cold! 

You introduced yourself, before thanking him for the appointment, stating that you were a bit nervous as it was your first time. 

As you spoke, you missed the way Suna’s eyebrow raised in interest. You spoke of how nervous you were, and how you’d never been inside of a real piercing shop before, but your body language was saying something completely different. While your words themselves were mild, even slightly withdrawn, your tone and posture exuded a level of prissy that Suna didn’t expect. 

Well, that was a lie….. he definitely expected you to be a bit stuck up as soon as he’d seen that little frown on your face, but he didn’t expect you to be like this….hell, you were the best kind of stuck up. 

You were a brat who didn’t even know they were. 

And this impression that Suna got of you only increased as he talked to you. As he explained the procedure and put on gloves, he watched the nervousness in your face slowly morph into distrust, maybe even a bit of doubt. 

“Alright, now that that’s out of the way, let's get that top off and mark where you want these bad boys.” 

“Do I really need to take it all the way off?” you asked. 

Suna chuckled, he wondered if you knew just how condescending your tone was. 

“Not at all sweetheart, just keep it outta my way and we’ll be good.” 

You turned your head towards the wall before lifting your shirt over your breasts, your face still hot with embarrassment. 

Suna had to bite his tongue to stop himself from letting out a low whistle. He’d pierced some pretty people throughout his career, but you? It wasn’t even sexual….. The sight in front of him was almost art. The way that you wouldn't meet his eyes, the way your knuckles were turning light at how hard you clasped the hem of your shirt. 

Yeah, your tits were great but the now exposed sight of where the tops of your thighs pressed together was far better. 

“Umm, are you gonna mark them now?” you asked, he’d been quiet for a bit now. 

“Just looking for symmetry sweetheart, don’t get your panties in a twist, we’ve got all the time in the world.” 

You frowned. 

“I just think that-”

Suddenly the little wheeled chair that he was sitting on was right next to you, and his face was close to yours, too close to be appropriate. 

“I know what I’m doing Princess…. No need to think.”

Your head snapped away from him, choosing to lock your gaze onto the opposite wall. 

Fuck…… his attractiveness was making this seem a lot more hot and a lot less unprofessional.

Rintarō just laughed again before going and opening a couple of cabinets along the wall, pulling out his already sterilized equipment along with a couple of paper towels. 

“What’re those for?” you asked, skeptical as you watched the piercer open the small freezer he had, taking an ice cube from a tray. 

Your eyes widened as he approached you with them. 

“‘K, it’s time for the not-so-fun part, it’s gonna be cold okay?” 

“Wait!” you gasped, “can’t I do that myself?” 

“Do you have gloves on?” 

You winced when he lowered the ice cube onto your nipple, trying your best to stay still as you felt the little pricks of cold travel down your torso, straight to your core. 

This was probably something you should’ve thought about before choosing to get nipple piercings from the hottest man alive. You’d never really known if you had sensitive nipples because none of your partners had ever really tried that. 

So if you were busy avoiding Rintarō’s gaze before, you were absolutely booked doing it now. 

But despite your attempts to hide it, Rintarō could tell. 

He could tell with the way that he could feel your heartbeat pounding under his fingers as he held the ice cube to your left breast, rubbing it around the area of the nipple so as to not make any certain spot unbearably cold. 

He watched your face amusedly when the cube ran over the bud itself, the way you slightly bit your lip, and how your knees twitched. 

“Alright, here’s why we ice it first….” he said, dropping the ice cube into the sink before returning to your side.

“Why do we- fuck!!” you hissed, your upper half involuntarily pulling away from Rintarō, who’d just cinched the clamp onto your left nipple. 

He instructed you to breathe, placing his hand on your shoulder as he helped your inhale pattern, lightly squeezing to help distract you from the fact that your nipple felt like it was caught in a crab’s claw. 

How the fuck did some people enjoy this shit? 

It burned! And all you could think about was how fucking sore your tit would be!

You were beginning to regret this decision. 

But then it happened…

“‘Atta girl….you’re doing real good…..” 

Thank god you were able to hide your face behind your arms that were still holding your shirt up, because if you hadn’t Rintarō would’ve been able to see your eyes widen and your jaw drop open in shock at the absolutely filthy amount of bass in his voice. 

Holy shit…..

You didn’t know if you wanted him to do it again or if you wanted to crawl into a hole and die. 

Was he trying to do this? 

….probably…..

You convinced yourself that this was how he treated every girl that came in for an appointment with him. He held their hands a bit too long when he shook them, he smirked at them as he ‘assessed’ them through their tops, called them ‘sweetheart’ and ‘princess’.....

Men were pigs….. That was your conclusion. This man was no different. 

Unfortunately, that realization did nothing to cease the wet patch currently growing between your thighs. 

You decided you’d just press your eyes closed and tough it out, that you wouldn’t provoke him in any way…. You really couldn’t handle another unattainable crush, especially on a man you’d just met. 

“Ok, I’m gonna take it off now…” he warned. 

You sighed, ready for the pinching to be over as your nipple was now cold AND achy. You still questioned how anyone in their right fucking mind could be into that……. That was until Rintarō’s finger nudged it. 

You barely stopped a moan from ripping out of your chest.

Did you understand now?

Suna chuckled as he heard the little gasp you were unable to suppress, and don’t think he didn’t notice how you readjusted yourself, thighs rubbing together as he (as gently as he could) took the clamp off and went to place the ink dot. 

“Feel better?” He asked, watching as you let out a relieved sigh when the clamp was finally gone. 

You nodded, still not willing to look him in the eye.

“Well…. This is the part that’s even less fun.” He retrieved the needle. 

“I’m gonna count you down, on one I’m gonna need you to take a nice deep breath for me okay?”

You nodded. 

Suna really wished he could see your face right now. He’d almost give anything just to see your expression as he prepared to push the needle through. 

And while you liked to think that the universe was good to you, the universe was better to Rintarō.

He nearly groaned as a high-pitched whine let your lips when he pushed the needle through, your body slightly jerking against his chair in pain as you let out a breathy ‘fuck’ as he followed the needle with the jewelry. 

Even as he took the needle away from your body, the piercing complete, you were letting out little whines about how bad it hurt. 

And while he should’ve soothed you and let you know it was over, he couldn’t help but take the chance to quickly admire his work. 

Fuck…. He thought, he was almost angry at how fucking good you looked. 

Your shirt was still up, he let his eyes wander down past your newly pierced nipple, down to your plush waist and soft stomach.

God, you looked so fucking nice…. he wanted to feel it, under his fingers….. under him…….

He cleared his throat, trying to adjust himself in his pants, trying to make his embarrassingly prominent hard-on less apparent before you saw him. 

“Are you done?” You asked meekly. 

Fuck…… now you were being sweet?

He wanted to see you again….no….he needed to see you again…

But how would he get a little spoiled princess like you back in his chair? Or better yet, in his bed?

“All done sweetheart….” he chuckled. 

You sat up, straightening out your shirt as you looked at him with confusion. 

“But what about the other one?”

“Well……” Rintarō sighed, resting his elbows on his knees as he prayed that you wouldn’t see through his shitty plan to ensure he got to see you again. 

“....it’s probably best that we split this into two sessions….. You didn’t do as well as most people with the first one, so I think it might be best that we come back in about a week and do the other one. That way I can also check up on how this one’s doing.” 

“Really?” 

The way that you frowned made Suna afraid that you saw straight through his bullshit lie, but he couldn’t turn back now, so he just nodded. 

“I’d really prefer to just get it done now though….all at once…”

“ ‘m sorry sweetheart, but I really do think it’s best if we split this up..” 

You just stared at him for a couple of seconds, trying to melt him under your gaze, hoping to see if he was actually telling the truth or if he just wanted some scummy opportunity to charge you double.

And while you thought that the glare you offered was pretty worthy, Rintarō just laughed.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes as you stood up and gathered your things as quickly as you could. You couldn’t believe this… he was really gonna make you waste your time like this?

You looked back to him as soon as you’d collected all of your things, 

“You’re really sure that a whole extra session is needed?” 

Rintarō wanted to coo at the way your face was scrunched up, your nose slightly scrunched and your eyes pressed into a distrusting squint. 

“Wanna pinkie promise Princess?” he asked playfully, reaching out his hand, which you instinctively slapped away. 

You wanted to apologize as soon as you did it, (even though you doubt it hurt, it was still rude) but as soon as you saw the look in his eyes as he chuckled and feigned offense, the apology died on your tongue. 

So you opted instead to just put your nose into the air and turn on your heel.

“Fine. I guess I’ll see you in a week,” you said, exiting the room before the smug piercer could say anything smart. 

You begrudgingly made another appointment, and while you thought about asking for the female piercer to do your next one, the thought of them turning out weird due to a different artist, made you stick with the rude, cocky piercer (who just happened to be incredibly hot). 

Over the next couple of days, you tried your best to relax and forget about the impending appointment. Unfortunately, the new barbell running through your left nipple wasn’t letting you. 

And every time you felt any discomfort, you couldn’t help but think about Rintarō.

……he really was your exact type… sure his attitude could definitely be better…. but since when were you into guys with great attitudes? 

Or great personalities? 

Or great anything to be honest….

So unfortunately with every wince of pain or every ice-pack session, your mind wandered to the tall man. You found yourself thinking about his voice…and his hands….. 

The trouble really came though, whenever your new piercing would rub up against anything. You did nothing to silence your gasps and whimpers of pain/ odd pleasure in the silence of your own space, but as soon as you felt those little tingles in your stomach from the stimulation, you’d find your mind wandering to him. 

You just couldn’t help it… as frustrating as it was, you were beyond attracted to Rintarō.

And while Rintarō wasn’t suffering nearly as much as you were, he was still suffering. 

You were constantly on his mind when he was piercing, when he was tattooing, and especially when he was sketching ideas for clients, some would call you his inspiration….to him it felt more like you were haunting him. 

And it didn’t even stop when he left work. In fact, it got worse. Because outside of work, he didn’t have to try and rein in all of his thoughts, which left his mind wandering further and further each time, trying to recall what your voice sounded like when you whined, trying to remember what your face looked like all flustered and nervous. 

He found himself thinking of you as he touched himself in the shower, thinking about how you’d act once you dropped the pretentious princess act. It was always the girls like you, the bratty, ‘trust no one’ girls that were the most fun to tame. 

And while the way you acted was a lot of what he thought about, that was only because if he thought about your body, he would totally lose it. 

Every time he closed his eyes he could see it, the way that your thighs and ass jiggled when you walked out of his room, the way that the fat of your stomach tensed when he ran the needle through your nipple, and especially the way that your tits rose and fell as he counted you down from three.  

It’d been so long since Rintarō had felt like this like he was going through puberty again. Every little thought about you was getting him hot under the collar, and with every thought, the need to see you again became greater and greater. 

So when he saw you walk into the shop for your second appointment, he couldn’t even contain the grin that took over his face. 

But you weren’t in the mood for games today. You’d just gotten done with your morning class, the class that you shared with that asshole that had practically rejected you. 

You had run into him after class (and by ran into him, you meant he practically trapped you against your car outside) and he asked if he could see you again, saying that he ‘messed up’ and that ‘he missed you’. 

And while a couple of months ago, you would’ve jumped at the chance to reconcile, you’d learned your lesson. 

But that asshole, wouldn’t take no for an answer. He kept pressing… and pressing… and pressing… and now? 

Now you had a coffee date after your appointment with a man you’d rather eat sand than see. 

So when you walked into that piercing room for a second time, you really didn’t have the mental energy for the hell that Rintarō was planning on putting you through. 

The first 30 seconds (maybe) of the appointment went fine. The problems started when Rintarō opened his mouth. 

“Nervous?” 

The question was innocent enough, but you were already on edge and you really needed to nip the teasing in the bud. Even if it was quite literally the hottest man you’d ever met doing the teasing. 

“Nope,” you said, short and sweet (but maybe a little bit cold due to how quickly it came out of your mouth and definitely due to the monotonous way you said it). 

“Really?” Rintarō hummed as he prepped his equipment, you sounded tense, he thought,...... that made it even better. “You’re big talk today, Princess.”

You rolled your eyes but said nothing, not wanting to give a reaction.

Rintarō just chuckled. 

“Alright, ice cube time.” he said, “Shirt up pretty girl.” 

You thanked god that you pulled your shirt up quick enough to hide the look of humiliation on your face. You could barely even feel the coldness of the ice due to the feeling of shame that was already beginning to burn in your stomach.

You swore to yourself that you wouldn’t get… excited today. You swore that no matter how hot he looked or sounded, you wouldn’t feel the need to offer him yourself, ass up on his chair…. How were you already failing?

But the worst was yet to come.

Over the past week, you’d (unfortunately) developed a deep understanding of how sensitive your nipples were. And after several, rather embarrassing, experiments, you’d found out that, despite your previous thoughts and feeling towards people who got aroused by pain, having them pinched, tugged, or even just rubbed was a one-way ticket to arousal. 

So when Rintarō replaced the ice cube with the clamp, you had to focus nearly all of your energy on keeping yourself from moaning. 

And while you didn’t make any noise, Rintarō definitely noticed the way your chest caught and how you squirmed in his chair. 

He got your attention with a small hum before asking, 

“You mind if I check the swelling of this one Princess?”, referring to your week-old piercing.

You would have said no if you knew what that meant. Unfortunately, you thought that checking for swelling meant looking at it, maybe even putting an ice cube on it…..nope

Checking for swelling meant you had to work twice as hard not to let out any sounds as Rintaro poked and pushed at your nipple, making you painfully aware of how embarrassingly wet you were getting. 

You needed to hurry up and get outta here. If he kept getting you worked up, you might end up sleeping with the fucking asshole you were about to get coffee with, and you’d rather die than do that. 

“Isn’t the other one ready to pierce yet?” you asked, trying to ask as nicely as possible without seeming pushy. 

“Just a little while longer. ‘Wanna make sure it’s easy for the needle.” 

You frowned. Rintarō sounded like he’d just shrugged you off with that answer, and he didn’t even stop looking at your tits! Sure maybe the first couple of prods at the piercing were permitted, but it was getting into unprofessional territory. 

But Rintarō just couldn’t help it. You were just so soft….. and he’d been thinking about you for the last 7 fucking days… and by the looks of it, you’d been thinking of him just as much. 

Don’t think that you could hide the way your breath would jump every time he spoke, don’t think he didn’t see the way your lower stomach tensed when his fingers brushed against your piercing. 

“Come on….” you huffed, it had been at least two extra minutes and he still hadn’t made any move to take off the clamp, 

“It has to be okay by now, what are you even- fuck!”

Suna grinned as you finally let out the moan you’d been holding in after he’d just barely nudged the clamp over your right nipple. 

“See…” he cooed, “now it’s ready…”

You just sat in shock as he gathered the stuff to finally pierce your nipple with, whistling to himself as if you hadn’t just let out the neediest sound ever. 

You had half a mind to give him the scolding of his lifetime, but as soon as he turned around with the needle, making eye contact with you as he stood over your laying body, the words died on your tongue. 

“You want me to take it off now?” he asked, the way his eyes gleamed made your stomach sink and your thighs twitch but you weren’t ready to give in just yet. 

“What kind of question is that? Don’t you- shit!” 

He didn’t even give you a warning before “gently” removing the clamp. 

What the fuck was up with this man? Why was he doing this to you? Certainly, he couldn’t see how aroused this was making you, right? If he knew just how fucking overwhelmed you felt right now he’d stop, right? 

“You okay sweetheart?” 

You wanted to kill him. 

The way that he asked the question wasn’t innocent at all, this cocky motherfucker knew exactly what he was doing to you. And the worst part about it all? The bastard wasn’t embarrassed, or sorry, no…. he was smug about it. 

You wondered if you should say something….. tell him that you didn’t appreciate being treated like you were the entertainment.

But if you did that, who knows what would happen. He could refuse to do your piercing (and you refused to face this man a third time to get it) or even worse, he could make this the worst piercing in the world. He could make it to where you’d have to live with lopsided nipple jewelry or make it to where you’d be bleeding on and off for two straight weeks!

So with all of that in mind, you bit your tongue and just mumbled out a disgruntled “yeah, I’m fine.” 

But Rintarō wanted you to react. He wanted to see that little face you made when you were mad again, he’d been thinking about it forever. Thinking about the way your bottom lip pushed out in a pout when he fucked his fist, the way that he knew, if he tried hard enough, he could probably make you break, make you so frustrated you’d admit that you wanted him. 

He went ahead and lined you up and then you felt the tip of the needle against your skin. 

“Alright Sweetheart, from three again…. Ready?” 

This time you were prepared, this time the only sound you let out (much to Suna’s disappointment) was a small ‘mmph’

And almost as soon as he’d put the barbell, you were sliding your shirt back down and gathering your things to leave. 

“Woah…. What’s the rush, Princess?” 

Suna didn’t want you to leave yet. He knew that if you walked out that door, he’d probably never see you again, and he still needed to figure out a way to get a date or at least your number.

“Aren’t we done?”

“Well yeah, but I still need to brief you on how to take care of them now.” 

You turned to look at him.

“Didn’t you do that last time?” 

He had, in fact, done that last time. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t bullshit his way through 10 extra minutes with you. 

“I didn’t cover everything then Sweetheart.” 

You could feel your eye starting to twitch in annoyance. When you looked down at your phone for the time, you saw that not only was there only 15 minutes until your “date”, but there was also a text from the guy you were going to see saying, 

‘Just got to the cafe, can’t wait to see you ;)’

The scowl on your face deepened, a detail that Rintarō didn’t miss. 

“Don’t you have a pamphlet or something? I really need to go….” 

“It’ll take five minutes, tops.” 

Even if it did only take five minutes (which you doubted it would), it was rush hour and the coffee shop was 10 minutes away (almost 20 with traffic). 

“I really can’t I have a date in like 10 minutes.”

You hoped that that would finally get Rintarō to give up, even if it meant you’d be implying that you were off the market to the man who’d plagued your dreams for the last week. 

‘Oh?’ Suna thought, ‘A date? Well gosh….he didn’t want you to miss that.’

Suna shrugged.

“Tell him to wait.” 

“ph-w-what….?” you sputtered out, looking at him in shock as he just continued to clean up his work area.

“What princess? I thought you liked bossing men around? Tell your little date he can wait.”

You were sure that you looked like a fish with the way your mouth was opening and closing, searching for the words to say as your brain ran a mile a minute to catch up. 

“Excuse me?” was all that ended up coming out, earning a deep chuckle from Rintarō, one that may or may not have caused your knees to weaken a little. 

“I’m just saying Sweetheart, you took all this time to come in for a second appointment and now you’re trying to leave? Don’t I need to teach you how to take care of yourself?” 

If your face felt hot before, it felt like it was on fire now. Despite his light-hearted body language, nothing was innocent about what Rintarō had just said. 

The inner turmoil, the choice to either run away with your tail between your legs or to take a chance in the lion's dens, was dizzying. Especially when you could see the way the lion's thick muscles tensed and rippled as he cleaned. Especially when you knew that the lion was hungry…. and that you’d be the meal.

“I only made the second appointment because you told me to.” 

“Hmm…..are you sure?” 

Rintarō had finally finished cleaning, but now he was approaching you, grinning when you make your way to the door in avoidance. 

“Why the fuck would I have made one otherwise?” you gaped, placing one hand anxiously on the door handle. 

“ok…..I’ll let you go..” 

You sighed in relief, but it was a bit too soon. 

“I’ll let you go if you answer one question.”

“Sure….” you scoffed, “...what’s your question?”

Suna was standing directly in front of you now, barely an arm's length away. 

“Your date….. Is he better looking than me?”

…..did you hear that correctly?

“....huh?” 

Suna laughed again before looking straight into your eyes.

“Is he?” 

Your eyes must’ve popped out of your head as you just stared at the man staring right back at you, clearly expecting an answer to the incredibly invasive question. 

“That’s incredibly unprofessional AND none of your business…” 

You went to open the door, but you were too slow. Rintarō had already boxed you in against it, using one hand to keep it closed while the other rested on the other side of your head, bringing back to your attention, just how large it was. 

How tall was he again? He couldn’t have been anything less than 6’2”..... That was definitely taller than the guy from your lit class. And he was definitely hotter than the guy from your lit class. 

And although you’d known that he was incredibly hot, from this close, Rintarō was impossible hotter. From here you could see just how well built he was, with veins running along the forearms that were trapping you against the door, covered in little ink designs and god were his shoulders wide….

You were ashamed of how turned on you were right now. This really wasn’t the time to be ogling and drooling over a man you barely knew, especially since it was the same man who was literally holding you hostage. 

“You promised me one question pretty girl…” 

Rintarō thought that it was cute the way you were avoiding his eyes, your face was all scrunched up into that little angry expression and while he loved that he now got to see it up close, he prayed that he wasn’t close enough that his quickly growing hard-on would brush against your body because while it was obvious that your body was reacting to his, he needed you to tell him…. 

He needed you to tell him that he wasn’t crazy, he wanted you to tell him that you’d been thinking of him just as much as he’d been thinking of you. 

He needed to know if you’d wondered how he’d feel against you because fuck had he been thinking about what you would feel like under him. 

You rolled your eyes, still not looking as you mumbled out your answer. 

“What was that?” 

“.....no.”

The look that came onto Rintarō’s face should’ve worried you. The way that he smiled made him look like a fox in a chicken coop. But despite your better judgment, you felt your panties getting even damper. 

“Why don’t you stay a little then? Tell that fucking loser you found someone better.” 

“Better?” you scoffed. “Did you forget that this is pretty much harassment?”

“You’re free to leave Princess……I won’t stop you.” 

The same smug smirk graced his face as he backed away from you, leaving you completely free to leave the room. All it would take was for you to turn the handle and leave.

…..so why wouldn’t your body move?

Rintarō busied himself with something at the counters across the room, forcing you to live with your silence and contemplate just what you were expecting him to do when you said that. 

Did you want to stay? 

He was by far the prettiest man you’d ever seen, practically a god. 

And he seemed to be into you…..

……and you were definitely into him….

And so, with your face burning in embarrassment and your stomach burning with need, you cleared your throat before sitting back down on the chair and quietly telling Rintarō,

“......maybe you should tell me how to take care of them…..” 

That’s exactly what Rintarō wanted to hear. 

This is what he’d been waiting for….fuck you were gorgeous….

The way that your thighs were sandwiched together, the way that your stomach covered the tops of them. He knew that he’d just seen it less than 2 minutes ago, but god did he want to see it again, but this time, this time he wanted to feel it. 

He wanted to feel your thighs pressed against his ears while he tasted you, wanted to watch that bratty, stuck-up little look fall off of your face when he pushed his fingers down your throat and fucked you into his chair. 

But he’d start off slow. He knew that your type was easy to scare off, girls like you didn’t trust easy. 

Your eyes wouldn't meet his as he abandoned his place at the counter, slowly returning to his stool. 

The intensity of his stare felt like fire against your skin and it was quickly making you doubt your decision to sit back down. 

He sat down. 

You could feel yourself starting to sweat. What the hell was he doing? He was just sitting there…..staring. 

After 20 painful seconds, you finally spoke up. 

“What?” 

Rintarō grinned. 

“Shirt up pretty girl.” 

You went to raise the hem of your shirt but paused, the awkward feeling of Rintarō staring making you stall. 

“Look away” you mumbled, making Rintarō scoff but nevertheless divert his eyes. 

Your freshly pierced nipples glinted under the annoying fluorescent lighting, reminding you of just how wet you actually were, how needy Rintarō had made you over the last week. 

You wanted him to touch you, to brush his fingers against the barbells as he’d done earlier. But instead of asking, instead of telling him how badly you needed him, you just mumbled out a small “done.” and focused your gaze on a spot on the wall. 

“Fuck….” rintarō sighed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his spread thighs as he admired you. 

His work was, of course, amazing. But the art was only as good as its canvas and fuck did you make his art look good. He could feel his cock twitch in his jeans, begging him to hurry up and bury himself in you. 

But not yet… 

“Touch them.” 

His request was simple, and it shouldn’t have surprised you considering the fact that you both were well aware of where this was headed, but still, you felt your face burn as you stuttered out a small “excuse me?” 

“Pinch ‘em for me, Princess. I wanna make sure you’re satisfied with my services.”

It was your turn to scoff

“as if…” 

Suna shrugged at your words, and to your surprise, he stood up and turned towards the door. 

“Alright. I’ll let you redress then…” 

“Wait!” your worried voice made him stop, the grin coming back onto his face as he turned back towards you. 

You were looking up at him now, your eyes on him but still not meeting his own. Your fingers untwisted in your lap and unsurely traveled up your torso. 

Suna chuckled as he sat back down, watching as your hands stopped at your tits, clearly embarrassed and unsure of what exactly he wanted from you.

You gasped as your fingers experimentally tapped on both barbells, over the past few days you’d become acclimated to the sensation of playing with your piercing, but now that they were both done, the feeling of running your fingers over the small metal pieces was entirely new. 

Your piercings weren’t healed enough to pinch yourself yet, so you settled with softly rolling the pads of your fingers over them, circling the areolas as you bit back the small sounds trying to force their way out. 

You screwed your eyes shut when an embarrassingly loud whimper came out of you, your torso jerking away from the back of the chair as you landed a slightly harder flick to your week-old piercing. 

You couldn’t see what Rintarō was doing but you could hear the sound of his belt buckle coming undone and his zipper coming down. And that thought, the thought of him pulling his cock out to stroke to you playing with your tits made you burn even more. 

You wanted to touch yourself, but he didn’t say that you could. Nevertheless, you found one of your hands trailing down to rub against your clothed core, rubbing against it through the soft material of your leggings. As the other continued to play with your tits. 

Rintarō couldn’t help but groan at the site. Even though he hadn’t told you to, you were already grinding against your palm, your fingers stuffed between your thighs, he could feel his restraint slipping, the need to be between your thighs, replacing your hand with his cock was almost too much….. almost. 

“Take ‘em off.” 

“What?” you breathed, your eyes opening just wide enough to see the upper half of his torso, thankfully not enough to catch glimpse of what he was doing with his hands. 

“I wanna see you…” 

You prided yourself so much on the fact that you knew how to stay in control of your own body, but something about Rintarō….. Something about him made you want to do it, to do anything he asked of you. 

But still, half of the fun was doing the exact opposite of what he told you to do. 

Suna watched as you turned your nose up at him, that little frown gracing your lips for just a second before being disrupted by a light moan. He watched as you took your bottom lip between your teeth and continued to grind against your hand, ignoring his request completely. 

He stood with a small ‘tsk’ and walked over to you, stilling your hands by gripping your wrists. 

“Being stubborn Princess?” he asked, looming over your panting figure. 

You somehow found it within yourself to roll your eyes, making Rintarō groan. 

Girls like you really were the most fun to break. 

Without a word of warning, Rintarō’s hand replaced yours, squeezing between your thigh and grabbing the fat of your cunt between his fingers, making you squeal as you tried to pull your hands from his grip.

He just chuckled before bringing your wrists over your head, pinning them to the headrest of the chair. 

“What’s wrong Princess? Wishing you’d listened?” 

He started to move his hand, massaging the outside of your cunt with his fingers, making you gasp and moan every time his middle finger managed to catch your clit. 

He wanted you to look at him. Wanted you to see the look of hunger in his eyes as he planned what the best way to fuck you would be. You’d been avoiding his gaze, running from the reality of what was happening, he wanted you to know just how hard you made him, just how much he wanted you. 

“What are you-mph!” your gasp of surprise was muffled as Rintarō stuffed two of his fingers into your mouth, releasing your hands to come down and clutch his forearm. 

He groaned at how warm it felt. 

‘Fuck’ he thought, how nice would it be to be balls deep in your throat?

Of course, he wanted more than that today, but that definitely sounded like something to do in the future. 

“Fuck…” he groaned, feeling your tongue flex beneath his fingers as you, despite your better judgment, began to suck on them, wrapping your tongue around them, pretending that it was something more. 

But the real thing was so much bigger, sitting on the edge of your visual field, laying against the side of the chair by your cheek. 

Fuck it was big. 

“So naughty….” Rintar ōwhispered, his fingers running between your lips, feeling just how wet you were for him. “You’re not gonna strip for me? Do I have to do everything for you?” 

Without warning he yanked down your leggings, groaning as you subconsciously raised your hips off of the chair to help him force the fabric down past your knees, leaving them to hang off of your ankles. 

You only moaned around his fingers, digging your nails into the thick muscle of his forearm that was now pressing against your stomach as his fingers started to massage your cunt again. 

He hadn’t even touched you there and you were almost shaking, wanting to beg him to touch your clit or better yet stuff his fingers inside of you. 

You remembered how thick his fingers were. Fuck they’d feel good buried in you. 

Rintarō groaned as he felt you whine around his fingers. 

“What was that sweetheart?” He asked, finally pulling out of your mouth. 

“Touch me….” you moaned, throwing your head back against the chair to avoid his piercing gaze. 

He tsked, his fingers leaving your cunt to grip your plush stomach, making you gasp. 

“Is that how we ask for things, Pretty girl?” 

He raised his fingers to your piercings, flicking the old one, making you cry out. 

“Why don’t we try asking for daddy’s fingers like a good little girl?” 

You couldn’t tell if your eyes rolled to the back of your head, but you definitely felt all of the air leave your lungs. 

You needed him…. Bad….. so bad that you were willing to give up everything you believed in …. willing to beg. 

“Please….” you whined, almost too quiet to hear…. 

“What was that Princess?” Rintarō asked, he wanted to hear you admit it louder, admit that you needed him. 

“Touch me….please..” you begged, your eyes meeting his for the first time since you’d sat in the chair to be pierced.

Rintarō could’ve cum on the spot. If not because of the tears painting your lower lashline, then definitely because of the way you’d finally decided to give yourself to him. 

Without a word, he pushed two fingers into you, groaning as you cried out and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, trying to root yourself in something as his fingers curled up into you, finding your g-spot within seconds. 

“Fuck…. Please….” you whined, nails digging into his back as his digits drug against your walls, curling and prodding at all the right spots, making you see stars as you moaned into his shoulder. 

“Shit….” He groaned…. “You’re so fucking tight Princess….” 

Rinatrō was pressing his dick against the chair, humping the upholstery as his hips unwillingly jerked with each sound you made.

Never had he been more grateful for the thick walls of the room, because he’d be damned if anyone else got to hear the sounds coming from you as he fucked you on his fingers, stretching you out for his cock. 

“Feels good….” you whined as his fingers brushed up against your g-spot again, making your eyes flutter shut as your thighs unconsciously pressed together. 

Rintarō groaned at the feeling of your legs squeezing against his wrist, trying to constrict his movement as his fingers bullied in and out of your cunt. 

You were so fucking soft…and so fucking warm…. he could feel his cock leaking onto the chair, leaving a smudge of pre merely inches from your pouting lips. 

“Yeah?” he grunted, ducking down, “feels good Princess?”

His face was so close to yours, so close that you could smell the mint on his breath, you wondered if you could taste it. 

“Mhmm” you hummed, your eyes flicking down to his lips. Not even trying to hide your want.

Suna got the message… but didn’t comply and kiss you. He wanted to make you work for it, for you to admit that you needed his tongue in your mouth as he prepped you for him. 

Your pout deepened, making Rintarō chuckle.

“You wanna kiss Princess?”

You nodded, the pout not leaving your lips as you offered them to Rintarō, who amusedly ignored them, making you whine in protest. 

“If you wanna kiss princess, take it…” 

Your eyes widened at his words. Somehow, even with his fingers, knuckles deep in your pussy and his other fingers wet with your spit, asking for a kiss seemed humiliating. 

But still… something burned in you when he made you ask for it, and you could try to roll your eyes and hide how much his demands turned you on, but the way that you clenched around his fingers didn’t lie.

He had you wrapped around his finger. 

You slowly wrapped your hand around the back of his head, and pulled his lips down to yours, opening as soon as his tongue touched your lips to allow it into your mouth, moaning at the feeling of it scraping against the roof. 

He groaned at the way your cunt squeezed around his finger as you sucked on his tongue. He couldn’t believe you’d actually done it, he thought you’d be harder to break. 

You could feel your end approaching, your hips were grinding against his forearm as you rode his fingers.

You cried out into his mouth as his thumb began to glide across your clit. 

Rintarō could feel you getting tighter, feel your walls firming up around his fingers as he pushed into your soft spot with every jerk of his wrist. 

God, you were so wet, he could get off to the sounds of your gushing cunt alone, the way your juices were coating his palm, he bet that if he tried hard enough he could make you cum harder than you ever had before. 

He dropped his head into the crook of your neck, not even trying to hide his panting as his hips desperately jerked into the side of the chair.

Your mouth dropped open as his pace somehow quickened, his palm beginning to slap against your clit with the force he was finger fucking you. 

You could feel him pressing up against that spot inside of you with every thrust, but you didn’t know what it meant until you felt that unfamiliar feeling rising up inside of you. 

You remembered the first time you squirted. It wasn’t with any of your past relationships, it’d actually been so long ago that you had nearly forgotten that you were capable of doing it, but as the sounds of your cunt became louder, and that shameful urge to piss came over you, you knew that you were about to do it again. 

“No….” you gasped, trying, to no avail, to stop Suna’s fingers from continuing to piston into you. “No, please…” 

He just laughed….hadn’t you squirted before? 

……fuck….. was this the first time? 

He ignored your cries and pleas to slow down, his tunnel vision focusing in on making you gush all over his chair. 

He cooed at you as you began to cry, still begging him to stop as your legs began to shake around his arm. 

He decided that he couldn’t have you ruining your own orgasm and stuffed his free fingers back into your mouth, pressing down against your tongue as muffled cries and pleas still left your throat. 

“Come on pretty girl….” he panted above you, “you can do it…” 

It was too much…. You’d been holding on for too long. 

You couldn’t hold it much longer. 

With a final sob, you felt yourself lose the fight, your hips jumping off of the chair as the embarrassing liquid sprayed against Rintarō’s forearm, soaking the chair beneath you.

“Fucckk…..” he moaned, fucking you through your high on his fingers, groaning as you squirted all over his arm, practically drenching him in your arousal. 

“Good girl…..” he cooed, as you came down from your high, your unfocused eyes meeting his. “.....such a good girl for me…” 

Rintarō could practically feel his heartbeat in his dick as he rubbed your slick across your pussy, painting the fat of your thighs and stomach with the clear liquid, lightheaded from the fact he’d been able to make you cum so hard. 

He looked down at you…. His face dropped. 

You were staring back up at him with tears in your eyes, sniffling like a baby as your chin wobbled in embarrassment. 

“heyyy….What’s wrong Princess?” he whispered, automatically retracting his hand from its position between your thighs as he guided you to sit up in the chair. 

“You-….” you hiccupped, hot, shameful tears welling in your eyes as you grabbed his arm to stand on shaky legs. 

Rintarō looked down at you, worry gathering in his brow as you took watery breaths.

You took him by surprise and pushed him into the chair, making him sputter out a confused ‘huh’? Before you stretched your leg over his hips to straddle him, barely able to balance fully on your feet as you sat over his bulge, trapping him against his chair. 

“What’re you doing princess?” Rintarō asked, genuinely confused as you brought your hand up to wipe away the tears in your eyes. 

“That was mean….” you mumbled…. 

Suna let out a light moan as soon as he felt it, the slight circling of your hips against his crotch, he couldn't see it, but he could feel the wetness of your cunt gliding against his bare dick, slicking it with your cum as you let out little whines above him. 

“Come on Princess…..” he asked, taking your hips and beginning to force you off of his lap. “Let me up and I’ll give it to you….” 

The warm hand around his throat took him by surprise, he looked up at you with wide eyes. 

“Stay still…” you demanded, your hips still pushing and pulling, dragging his cock across your entrance. “You had your fun….”

You trailed off, throwing your head back with a whine as his tip caught on your clit again, slightly overstimulating you as you prepared yourself to take him. 

All Suna could do was watch you, fuck he was drowning in you, your plush body completely covering his as you guided his hands up to grip your ass before laying down against him, pressing your freshly pierced, overly sensitive tits into his chest. 

You took the hand that was wrapped around his throat and slid it to the back of his neck, pulling him into a loose kiss, tracing his tongue with yours as you felt him rumble beneath you, his chest vibrating against your tits. 

You looked up at him, your face in an expression of reckless want before pulling a deep groan out of him as you guided him to your entrance and sank down onto his cock. 

You barely gave him time to adjust before you were grinding yourself against his hips, his cock so deep in you that you swore you were seeing stars. 

“Shit…” he grunted, his fingers digging into your sides, trying to slow you down in fear of cumming like a high schooler, “slow down baby….” 

You only shook your head, your hips driving him crazy, forcing him to look away from you in fear of losing it too soon. 

He felt so good, hitting so deep inside of you. You swore that you’d never go back to ordinary dick again, not if this is what it could feel like… what it should feel like. 

Your legs burned with how long you’d been riding him, the protest of the muscle finally overwhelming the need to have him dragging against your walls. 

Rintarō was finally able to stop moaning when your hips ceased, making his eyes snap open to find your eyes inches from his, watching him expectantly. 

Without a word, you crawled off of him, barely able to stand as your knees shook in exhaustion. 

“Wh-?” Rintarō was bewildered as he sat up, looking at you in shock as you stood beside him, your arms crossing over the fat of your tits as if you were expecting something. 

“Get up,” you demanded. 

And somehow, for some reason, Suna found himself getting up, wincing at the feeling of gravity against his leaking cock. 

You casually wrapped a hand around his dick, making him gasp, a whine rising in the back of his throat. 

“Are you gonna fuck me now?” you asked, the same condescending tone that you usually sported, making a re-emergence as you folded yourself over the back of the chair, presenting your ass to him like it was on a fucking platter. 

It took him a second. After all, all of the blood that was usually in his brain was currently flooding his dick, but after a second he caught up. And when he did he couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“You’re trying to tell me what to do Princess?” he asked, pulling an unexpected whimper from your mouth as he palmed the thickness of your ass. 

“Thought you said I like to boss men around?” You retorted, suddenly grinding back on him, making him bite his lip as his cock jumped between your ass cheeks. 

‘Fuck’ he thought, watching you as you arched your back more, trying and succeeding to tempt him. “Guess I was right…” 

You nearly screamed when, without warning, he slammed his cock into you, thrusting balls deep as the fronts of his thighs pressed against your ass. 

“Shit.” he hissed, not able to control his hips from bucking into you too fast to last any longer than the next couple of minutes. “You feel so good Sweetheart….” he gasps, his fingers digging into your waist as he pulled you back at the same time he thrust forward, making your whole body shake with the force at which he was pounding into you. 

“Please…” you begged, too dumb to form any coherent sentence. “....more…” 

“You want more Sweetheart?” Rintarō grunted, going to push his arm under you to play with your clit, when your phone rang from in your bag. 

Both of you looked at it from its place on the foot of the chair, the vibrations making it almost impossible to ignore. 

Neither of you knew who was calling, but you both had a pretty good idea of it. 

Before you could stop him, Rintarō was pulling the phone out of your bag and answering the call from some contact labeled ‘asshole from lit’ 

He said nothing as he pressed accept. 

“Hey, where are you? I’ve been waiting for like half an hour now?”

“No-mphf-” you tried to whisper out before Suna forced your head down against the chair with his free hand, continuing to roll his hips against your ass as he chuckled into the phone. 

‘So this was your ‘date’?’ he thought. 

“Sorry …she’s a bit busy right now….” 

He heard a scoff over the line. 

“And who are you?” 

You let out a muffled protest from underneath Suna, making him that much more tempted to hold the phone down to your mouth before fucking you as hard as humanly possible, letting this asshole know just who you really belonged to. 

“Shhh, sweetheart…” Suna cooed “I’m on the phone..”

He held the phone away from him before thrusting into you again, the head of his cock ramming into your g-spot, making you cry out behind your palm which was doing a pretty shitty job to hold back all of your needy little sounds. 

“What the fuck?” he heard on the phone, making him chuckle again, “who the fuck is this?”

The asshole on the other end of the phone sounded angry, but the only thing that Rintarō cared about was how you clamped down that much tighter with the shame of knowing your pleasure was being eavesdropped on. 

You were writhing beneath him, chanting breathless, barely audible ‘harders’ and ‘pleases’ as your thighs shook trying to hold you up. 

And despite the protests from the asshole from your lit class, Rintarō chirped a quick, sunny ‘goodbye!’ before hanging up and refocusing on the feeling of his cock inside of you. 

“Damn it..” he sighed, eyes rolling back as he felt you pushing your hips back to meet his, trying to fuck yourself back onto his cock. “Your so fucking hot princess….so fucking good for me…..” 

“That little boy can’t fill you up like I can Princess… fuck- only I can make you feel this good, yeah?”

You nodded, senselessly agreeing with his words, even though it was true. You were so far gone that he could’ve asked you to marry him and you’d probably agree.

“You gotta say it baby….say you love my cock…. That no one can fuck you like daddy…”

“Yes!” you cried, shaking as you felt your second high quickly approaching “.....only you daddy…..love your cock so much….” 

Suna could feel his own end rising as well, the feeling of your wet, plush cunt driving him to the quickest orgasm he’d had since his freshman year of college. 

“Shit princess….. Feels so fucking good…. You gonna cum for me? Gonna cum on my cock?” 

He asked, reaching down under you, to circle your clit, wanting to feel you squeeze him and milk his load out of him. 

“...yes… fuck-please….gonna….. -fuck- ‘m gonna cum…..” 

Rintarō covered your mouth with his as you squealed in release, squirting on his cock as your cunt tightened around him, pulling his orgasm out of him with a guttural moan.

 He felt your cum dripping down his balls as he emptied himself into you, praying that you were on birth control because your cunt was so tight that it wouldn’t let him pull out. 

He just laid against you, softly grinding into you to gently bring you down from your highs, whispering what a good girl you were, how you took him so well and did so good into your ear, making the after waves of your orgasm that much more enjoyable. 

Eventually, he pulled out of your spent pussy, groaning softly at the wet pop. 

He lightly patted your ass before going over to his station to retrieve some wet paper towels to clean you up. (he really wanted to clean you using his tongue but he decided that was best saved for another day)

But when he turned around, he found you already pulling your leggings back up and your shirt back on, not to mention you were back to avoiding his gaze.

“Woah woah woah, Sweetheart… what’s the rush?

You sighed. You knew how these things worked. You were used to them by now. You weren’t even mad about it this time, you’d gotten the best dick of your life and he’d gotten a bit of stress relief. 

If you didn’t leave first, he’d soon be awkwardly clearing his throat, asking you to get out of his shop and his life. 

Might as well save yourself the embarrassment and bite the bullet now. 

“Hey, I said wait!” he said, grabbing your wrist to stop you from grabbing the door knob. 

“What?” 

It almost made him trip over himself. Was that really it to you? Just walk out the door and bam, gone forever? 

“What do you mean what? You’re just gonna leave?” 

You wanted to roll your eyes, let him know that he could drop the niceties, that you knew where this was going. 

“So what?” you said, turning your face away from him. 

Rintarō groaned as that bratty look came back over your face. No matter how cute it was, now wasn’t the time for you to act like this. 

Did he need to remind you of what just happened? Could you not feel his cum leaking out of you as you spoke?

“That’s it? You’re not gonna give me your number or anything?” 

“I’m not looking for a fuck buddy right now.” you shrugged off, trying to turn back towards the door, only to be stopped again. 

“Who the fuck said anything about that? Now give me your number…” 

“What?” you looked at him incredulously, amazed with his devotion to ‘not hurting your feelings’ 

“Give me your number….” he backed you up against the door, closing you in like he had earlier. 

“Why?” 

‘Incredible….’ Suna thought…. You acted like some smart little college girl, but you didn’t know why he’d want your number?

“Why do you think sweetheart? ‘M gonna take you out…” 

Your mind went blank. 

Take you out? 

“What?” you asked, genuine confusion painting your face as you stared up at him with wide eyes. 

Rintarō scoffed before looking away, making it the first time ever that he’d avoided your eyes. 

He covered his mouth with his hand, rubbing his jaw as he tried to hide the obvious blush coming over his cheeks. 

“God…” he muttered, “you’re really gonna make me spell it out?” 

And it wasn’t until then, until you saw the embarrassed blush and nervousness flickering through his eyes that you understood….

“As if…” 

Suna’s jaw practically dropped when he heard you scoff. 

But nevertheless, you reached into his front pocket, fishing out his phone before holding it out for him to unlock. 

But he was frozen. And for only the second time in the short time you’d known him, he seemed speechless. 

“Well?” you asked, pulling him out of his daze. 

“Shit.. right” he mumbled, unlocking the phone and staring at you in shock as you entered your number before handing it back to him. 

“Alright…..” you said awkwardly, getting ready to turn and head out the door. 

But once again, before you could, Rintarō wrapped his hand around your wrist and turned you around. 

“What no-mphf..” 

Rintarō held you by the chin as he placed one last kiss on your lips before pulling back, grinning. 

“Fuck that felt good,” he said, his smile only getting wider as you rolled your eyes and finally opened the door to leave. 

“Whatever pervert,” you grumbled, ducking your head as you tried to keep yourself from smiling, scowling at him one last time when he landed a light slap on your ass.

Rintarō just laughed as he watched you walk away calling behind you, “see you tomorrow night!” 

You just rolled your eyes and went to the reception desk to pay. 

And even though you left the shop with a small frown on your lips, remembering the obnoxious, inappropriate, insanely hot piercer inside, you couldn’t deny the fluttering feeling in your chest. 

You got into your car, wondering if that creep from lit had finally gotten the message. 

Your phone chimed. 

Unknown Number: tomorrow night, date, be ready ;)

You smiled.

_____________________

hope you liked it bestie!!!!!!! please lmk what you thought <3

[kelpiemomma]

That's honestly just how male leads tend to go. It's a shounen(?) thing. Some good ones with male leads are Dungeon Nursery, My Daughter is thr Final Boss (less isekai, more regression), Latna Saga (up until s3 :B), and I Have to be a Great Villain (i think the official title is now 'I Want to be the Big Baddie'???)

I particularly enjoyed Latna Saga: Survival of a Sword King and I Have to be a Great Villain. Latna Saga up until s3, due to unnecessary romances, but the main character is yoinked with several thousand other characters and deposited into a 'gaming' space. He ended up with an error that didn't allow him to move behind level five and spent 20 years surviving on his own, fighting demon dogs every day, until the person who first pulled him realized he hadn't moved past the first stage. They attempted to destroy his 'box' but set him free instead. He's insanely OP, can't act for shit, and is a massive himbo but there is a severe amount of deep seated trauma in his mind. He's also afraid of ghosts. I thoroughly enjoyed it until there were sudden and unnecessary romances brought up in s3.

I Have to be a Great Villain is fun (if you look past problematic instances) bc the main character is isekai'd, but he essentially volunteered for it. He accidentally caused the death of himself & his friends on a bus ride, and in order to turn back time and prevent the accident from happening he is assigned as the villain in different stories (he's literally playing the villain role) in several different novels, and he gets points depending on how well he did. He's trying to save up enough points for time reversal. (It's also a BL)

For girl isekai, The Lady and The Beast is again less isekai and more reincarnation. It's interesting. My biggest issue with most isekai is the complete lack of regard paid to how completely unsettling it would be to wake up in a stranger's body. Kill yhe Villainess is fantastic in that after a series of mishaps, the main character actually begins to have a breakdown after she sees "herself" in the mirror and can't remember what she actually looked like.

I've also enjoyed The Perks of Being a Villainess (out MC is creating capitalism, market tactics, and tax evasion in her new world. Her love interest is incredibly handsome and she avoids him because she used to be a major pushover in her past life. He's so intrigued by her business decisions (and the fact his mountain lion pet loves her (the cougar is named Cookie)) that he tries to impress her and doesn't understand why his looks alone aren't enough to do so. His servant mocks him for it, and I just love them so much. They're all stupid in the best way.

An actual comic panel:

The Villainess Flips the Scrip is also very good! The main character tries to bring her nephew up right to make up for his terrible fate in the book she read, except her nephew is also acting mighty odd and not how he should. There's a couple points where you may need to turn your brain off, as with any isekai, but I love Judith firmly.

Becoming the Dark Hero's Daughter is good! The main character doesn't remember she's been isekai'd until the day she's supposed to die, when she manages to get herself adopted by the original novel world's main character. She intrigues him enough that he takes her in and she manages to charm him, his son, and his sister. Her entire family absolutely adores her and the fact she's not related to them by blood doesn't matter at all, she is their baby and they will protect the baby.

There's also The Villainess is a Marionette (isekai'd protag tries to fix the world but her obsessice yandere brother throws it into her face until she decides to go balls to the walls in revenge), I'll Save This Damned Family (protag is isekai'd into the daughter of a family doomed to be executed for treason in a few years time, shes determined to prevent that fate), I Raised a Black Dragon (protag is isekai'd into the body of a villainess, attempts to live a quiet life so she doesn't die, ends up with a dragon egg AND gets her original body back!), The Reason why Raeliana Ended Up at the Duke's Mansion (now being sold in Barnes and Noble! A solid isekai.) and The Villainess's Maker (I really only recommend the first half- the art is better and the story is solid. After they go to the mountains, the original antagonists suddenly become simps for the protagonist and I hated the ending because it made no sense to me.)

If you wanna give virtual reality or dungeon hunting a try, I recommend the Gourmet Gamer (Rice is precious) and I Stole the Number One Ranker's Soul- just look at these panels

Isekai with male protags: "I was a loser on earth but now I'm super fucking strong and gettin mad bitches"

Isekai with female protags:

Reincarnated princess uses earth knowledge to make magitech a thing and romances sad girl

Girl romantically pursues her video game waifu

Girl is tasked to teach actual fucking gods to be more empathetic to humans

Woman reincarnated as the daughter of a magic item crafter uses earth knowledge to advance her trade

"Straight" girl is sucked into a world with zero men and lesbians everywhere and finds out she's sapphic (there's like actual plot but the gay is what matters.... to me)

A ghibli film. Need I say more

Woman reincarnated in video game as doomed villainess desperately tries to change her story

Girl reincarnated as a tiny baby spider kills monsters to level up

Like the male protag one but the lame guy's mom got isekaid with him and she's the op one.

Two normal girls fight urban legends in terrifying danger dimension