#in my low i cant start anything in my highs i cant finish

[jrueships]

NEED comments... need THOUGHTS! REPLIES!! ANYTHIIIING!! asks with ur THOUGHTS!! for me to READ!! I AM TRAPPED!! I AM TRAPPED !!!

[yandere-romanticaa]

To the anon who was asking abt sex! Here’s my two cents based off of experience..

1. Cockwarming is not like,,, pleasurable. Like when I read fics abt it and the reader is all squirmy and whatever it really doesn’t make sense. If the guy isn’t moving then it doesn’t really feel like anything, and it gets a little uncomfortable after a few minutes of no movement. It’s kinda like using a tampon. I definitely think that the pleasure derived from this is more mental than physical. Only the guy really gets anything physical out of it.

This kind applies to vibrators too. Like internal vibrators are not crazy stimulating but it is enough to make you distracted. But to each their own I suppose.

2. Sex in general. Internal stimulation (P in V) is good, and if I had to describe it I would say it feels like a bruise repeatedly. It’s hard to describe. Like it hurts but not in an ‘ow’ way, it feels good. Definitely a feeling that gets the legs shaking after repeated thrusting against that spot.

BUT, I cant finish without stimulation to my clit. It’s definitely different for everybody, but in my case I need clitorial stimulation or else it just feels like I’m on the edge the whole time (which, by the way, is a very unsatisfying feeling).

And thrusting it all in like in one go isn’t possible, remember that your vagina is one giant muscle, and when you stretch a muscle to hard and fast it strains and it doesn’t feel good. Foreplay is very helpful bc it loosens you up first, but even then you can’t force it in at one go. You kinda gotta start with the tip first and use short movements to slowly fit the whole thing in.

AND YES!!! THE STRETCH HURTS!!!! If you aren’t prepared properly or your partner just shoves it in it feels like your skin is being stretched (like a rubber band being stretched so much that it’s about to snap) and it’s a sharp pain and you could tear. SO FOREPLAY MATTERS!!!!

3. Cervix stuff… 😭😭😭 Guys. You can NOT thrust into the cervix. These fics are LYING TO YOU!!! It’s literally like trying to thrust through bone, the cervix is hard and even inserting thin items like a Q tip fucking HURTS. Unless it’s like monster fucking with ovipositors then it’s just straight unrealistic. A díck can NOT push through.

Some women find it painful even when their cervix is just thrusted against. (It doesn’t hurt for me so I don’t mind but majority of all the gals I’ve spoken to DONT like it. One of my friends even threw up during sex one time from the pain.)

4. Mind break. Not a real thing. Sorry. After so many rounds, no matter how high your drive is, the sex just starts to feel uncomfortable. Don’t push yourself past that point, listen to your body and know your limits. Because once it feels uncomfortable it kinda starts to hurt. This applies for the guys too. It just stops feeling good after a while and you leave that sort of lust-haze and become very lucid (post-nut clarity LMAOOO), which also makes you feel the discomfort even more.

So yeah, mind break via sex just isn’t a thing because your body literally has a limit. Overstimulation is real but your body has limits for that too. Like after so many orgasms I can’t touch my clit or it feels like a sharp pain. (Again, everyone is different but that’s just me)

And yeah. That’s all I can rlly think of.

This was an interesting read!!!!! I think that smut may or may not have poisoned my brain a little bit so this felt like a breath of fresh air. Of course, one should never take smut too seriously as it is primarily for entertainment, but it really does feel like things can mess you up if you're an inexperienced pookie such as myself!

Truth be told, sex scares me. Like, a lot.

I am in my early 20's and there is this societal expectation that I need a boyfriend. I also live in a fairly conservative country which honestly doesn't help me at all. And it's low key expected from couples to just go at a few months into the relationship, sometimes even after a few weeks depending on the person. That's how most of my friends/acquaintances did it anyway.

Just the thought of a man seeing me so naked and vulnerable like that, it brings tears to my eyes. It legit scares me so much. Buddy, if you see me in my birthday suit you are NOT going anywhere LMAO, you'll have to marry me, I'm sorry -

I've been called an uptight and boring prude for having this kind of mentality and I get it. But I can't help it, I just can't. I don't think I'll ever be able to have that kind of physical connection with anyone unless I know them inside and out 😓 I'm too scared and too insecure for my own good... I also have a few stretch marks on my stomach, which I really hate, I really do. I don't think I could handle the humiliation of another person ever seeing them.

[fenharel]

some of my thoughts after finishing veilguard a couple days ago before i start my second playthrough :)

ok i think its important to note first that the things i was most looking forward too was 1. solas, 2. solavellan, 3. lore. im self aware enough to know that this will have had some influence towards what i expected from the game and what i enjoyed/cared about or not 👍

good

solas: im honestly so happy. my man is finally happy and reunited with his wife!!!!!! my heart feels so full 😭 this game was a solas fans wet dream. absolutely loved everything we got. hunting down regrets and watching old memories. talking to him in the fade. the entire crossroads!!!!!! him shit talking elgar'nan. watching him go trickster mode and imprison rook. fighting the archdemon as the dread wolf!!!!!! i could go on forever. CHEFS KISS TO IT ALL<3333333333333 if anything i wish there would have been MORE im greedy what can i say

solavellan: screaming crying throwing up. i still cant believe it oh my fucking god

lore reveals: i found all the reveals about all our old theories so fun. i didnt like all of them (old gods are just dragons? c'mon.) but overall it felt so rewarding to have picked up on it all. or be totally surprised by something (mythal and solas the reason for the titans and the blight? wow.)

the executors, forgotten and forbidden ones: the next big bads of the next game huh!!!! loved what we got for the most part, the mysterious circle codexes where probably the most interesting in the game. anaris actually showing up shocked me. i wish bellaras brother didnt say "for plot reasons i must die" and actually told us something about him but oh well. im cautiously optimistic about the secret ending for now. what it implied could go either way for now...

main quest: not all of them, but a lot of them were awesome. dare i say some quests were up there with the best main quests in da??? weisshaupt was epic. or the blood of arlathan. every time we get to talk to solas (thehe<3). the final bits. the strong points were so strong that the low points got highlighted a bit too much imo

act 3: by far my favourite act. this was soooo good. the romance finally (?!) kicking it. suicide mission 2.0 stressed me tf out. the varric reveal? send me to the asylum. solas tricking rook? king behaviour i was cheering for him while crying about varric. the dread wolf transformation. the conversation between solas/mythal/lavellan at the end. i basically was in tears throughout half of the thing. couldnt read the credits at all. act 3 was amazing

minrathous vs treviso: i loved this especially with the angst of playing a shadow dragon who failed minrathous. and then the consequences and quest changes this causes throughout the game was really cool. i wish there were more bigger choices like this since it felt a bit flat choice wise besides of this one, but it was amazing.

villains: ghilan'nain and elgar'nan were great. they really felt like the tyrannical gods they were supposed to be. im so glad there was mostly no corypheus-esque cringe. (tho especially ghil had some video gamey lines but sdjkfhjksdf i still love her)

neutral

rook: i dont really care much about rook.. 🙈. mind you rook was certainly not the reason why i wanted to play this game so im sure a second playthrough will make me warm up to them more, now that my head is more free, but it just didnt insta click. rook didnt feel like a real person to me, almost nobody had any (to my taste) realistic reactions towards them. the stakes just were too high for them to get treated this way (nobody is pissed off that they freed the gods? everyone just believes them when they say gods are walking around? everyone just agrees to work with them? nobody cares how rook is doing? or who rook even is? idk.) i didnt like the introduction much either. the shepard treatment didnt work for me here, just believing that rook is fit for the job because varric says so wasn't enough for me. rook also has barely anything going on for them either besides of being the relentless "good guy". we never see them doubt themselves or be fearful or be mean. all the dialogue options are the same as well. its.... boring. anyway i dont wanna bash on rook, i know i'll end up liking them more later. the headcanons will be headcanoning<3

companions: i... don't have strong feelings about most of them? all of them got to me sooner or later, made me cry. but afterwards im still 🤷‍♀️ about most. i didnt feel like we get to know them as deeply as we get to know companions in the previous games. i really really missed sitting in the lighthouse for hours and talk to them, ask them about their profession or what they are about outside of cutscenes like in the previous ones. i think that would have helped me click with them faster. i didnt find all companion quests very strong either. the "high stakes" of the main story made some conflicts feel a bit like we can just fix that after the story lol. i did not like the mass effect 2 treatment of them much... (but me2 is overrated anyway sshh dont kill me<3) some companion quests i did find interesting lore wise (bellara, harding) even if i wish that some of them would have went a bit deeper there. anyway i know i'll probably end up loving them all after a couple of playthroughs, this almost always happens to me, dai is the best example.

combat: don't care. this isn't my type of combat, i don't play a lot of super actiony combo dodge dodge block combat games. still hate the limited abilities. at least it didn't feel too clunky on mouse and keyboard and it was "fun enough" to me so thats good

puzzles: i could put them into the bad category but at least they weren't too terrible so i don't want to be too harsh. but i don't enjoy doing them. i dont want to search for a crystal in a bush. i mean i did them all but at what cost. this felt like filler i thought they wanted to avoid by not adding fetch quests???

bad

pacing: this games hardest battle imo. the pacing of the game is... strange. act 1 is way too fast. it feels like we're running and have absolutely no time for anything. (makes sense! didnt work well though). act 2 then drags a bit with all the companion quests, and the mix really drags the progression of the romances as well to a ridiculous degree. at least with lucanis, idk how it is with the others. i love him and i can headcanon to fill in the blanks so i liked his romance, but it does make it seem like nothing is happening for 50 hours for everyone who doesnt like to headcanon around. anyway, the pacing/storytelling felt often not fitting. it was trying to be mass effect in a story that is too complex and the lore too rich to run through it. this felt like the main reason why we just never went very deep into the lore of the factions or new npcs, or learn or see certain things, the complex nature of the crows, or tevinter magisters and their slaves, we are just running all the damn time? we never get to explore certain things that would feel unnatural to come up in a conversation or in some other way because we are limited by the things the story "has time for". or what the devs had time for.

wishy washy writing: not everywhere but in some places and im not used to that in a da game so its a bit baffling. "the blight is different now so thats the reason for x trust me bro" ok....? "the first of my people do not die so easily" = mythal is shattered and lives on, makes sense. but the other evanuris are all dead, even the ones that were "dead" already? why? idk........ i shall stay delusional for now and hope i've missed something in my completionist run that i now in my next run will find somewhere lol. besides of that, the tone and language used by rook and companions is strangely unfitting as well. coloquial words like "it's cool" are frequently used, among other things. it stands in contrast to the writing of the previous games and is often immersion breaking.

limited worldstate: i had hoped they at least commit to it when i heard about this. but then adding little references that could have just been made personal by switching one line just made the reference a bit jarring sometimes instead of exciting. or making morrigan eat mythals memories for the regret quest....really? this could have been the well of sorrows choice, why could they not have just made the inquisitor show up in the crossroads if they were the one that drank from it. this whole choice thing + some other problems ended up feeling like something they didnt really want to do but ended up doing because the game was in development for so long they just had to finally fucking finish it. and it sucks for us.

the veil: why... is it still there? they left breadcrumps of clues throughout the entire series about all the positives it would do if it was gone, even add a damn prophecy, and then just dont do it.... ever perhaps? must the blight really be cured for this? demons forever feared? listen im just glad solas is ok at the end of the day but he could still have had his redemption/healing/forgiving himself moment after destroying it imo.

i wish the inquisitor was more involved in everything :((( the moments we did get made me SO happy but. yeah.

no quicksave and the skip button that ruined my screenshots deserve their own bullet point what the hell

anyway enough yapping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! overall i loved the game because the stuff i cared about the most was the best aspects of the game sdkjhsdjkf im not ashamed to admit that this is my new solas 2.0 game. ..... <3

[justanotherblogger]

Random Rambles And Theories About Alastor Go!

Ok, so right now I am on a high with all the recent Alastor lore we've been blessed with in Hazbin Hotel, and this little murderer has been occupying my mind 24/7. I really need to get all my theories and rambles out that I don't see a lot of people talking about.

(BTW, before my ramble, I have seen many places say he was mixed race as a human, but if I am wrong, please let me know, because this delves deep into that with his human life.)

(Also be warned for a bit of gore/violence and that this thing is kind of long)

Now let's begin!

I'll start with the most talked about theory with Alastor: his connections with Lilith and why he reacted the way he did with Lucifer

The show has given us what many people think are hints to this with both of them gone for 7 years, the slight eye twitch in the pilot when he looked at liliths portrait, Alastor showing up right after Charlie finished voicmailing her mom also in the pilot, how he knew about Charlie's Daddy Issues before she seemed to have told anyone, the leash comment from Husker, and how Alastor reacted to Lucifer.

Now, all of these could be chalked up to Alastor having some sort of nice relations to Lilith, but some of these are a bit too far stretched to just be because he has interacted nicely with Lilith in my eyes.

I have seen many people talk about how Alastor must have gotten a bad impression of Lucifer because either him and Lilith are besties and talk crap about him after the split, or he listened to her complaints about him and got an impression off of that to dislike him this much right off the bat in episode 5.

But I don't think that's it. We see how badly Alastor reacted to the leash comment by Husker, which definitely isn't a good sign that he would even trust the words of whoever is holding that 'leash' against him. He seemed pushed over the edge, vulnerable enough to lash out, which is unlike himself. Whatever deal he made for his soul, was most likely under threat, a life or death choice.

This is why I think he despises (most likely) Lilith or whoever has that 'leash' on him. He lashes out, sensitive about the subject. After gaining so much power over the overlords, he suddenly gets toppled over again by someone of (most likely) higher status, being forced into an unwilling contract, now just another pawn that this demon(?) can use for their own desires, and he doesn't want to be that, he needs to make his own decisions. But he doesn't have any say in the matter.

So I think why he was mocking and teasing Lucifer so much was because of his connection with Lilith. Everyone knew how deeply in love they were (before they split) and how they are both the most powerful demons in hell. I think Alastor took a chance to use his pent up anger on Lucifer, trying to get him to hurt as much as he can because of what Lilith did, all the while Lucifer cant do anything too serious leat he upset Charlie. We know he is extremely petty, after all. (we can also see him (most likely) letting off some steam when devouring the loan sharks, with him getting unnecessarily big and just letting loose on a couple of low-tier goons)

I saw another person talk about how Alastor has no power over Lucifer/Lilith, no political power, and he can't beat them in games of wits either. But the one thing that he does have the upper hand on, is their daughter, and I completely agree with that.

Alastor has been there since the beginning, has helped Charlie out and talked with her more than her own Parents had in the last couple of years probably. He's seen how attached the parents are to Charlie, and decided to use that info in full force. Just look at the Lucifer/Alastor duet.

Now that we have my theories of the life and death contract with Lilith, let's go deep into what I think is Alastors character right now:

Alastor, a mixed child in the early 1900's most likely had it really rough. With being treated as less than from both sides for being to dark/light to the violence that he most likely had to endure during his childhood.

This could have been where his anger/obsessive resentment started to simmer up in sporadic bursts over the years and years of belittlement, abuse, and racism.

Like I said before, he was probably treated as less than human for his mixed skin, and Alastor most likely started to hate it. His skin, the people, everything seemed so wrong. Why should the people who beat him and his mother see them so vulnerable and weak. He decided he didn't like that anymore.

So the radio show started. I got this idea from when he said his face was only made for radio. Over the radio, no one ever knew what you looked like. Just your voice would be broadcasted, and no one would ever see who was really behind the microphone unless they stepped out. This seemed like a barrier to Alastor. Letting himself go with no worries about letting people see him vulnerable behind his broadcast. (Maybe that's why he hates TV and modern tech so much; people can see everything about you)

And when his radio show became a hit and people wanted pictures and news? What would protect him then? Simple: his unwavering smile. Reactions are what people want when they crush others. They want to see them wallow and beg cry from what they have done. But Alastor won't let anyone do that to him ever again.

He stands his guard, not letting any comments get to him, keeping charming smile and unwavering voice all throughout his career as a radio host. Keep the smile up, dont have your voice crack, never show weakness. If you stop, those that wait will sink their teeth in and never let go of you. That's what I think a part of his mentality is and is maybe a part of why his smile is stitched on in his demonic form.

Now onto why I think he's a serial killer/cannibal. Remember when I said he had lots of unchecked anger and obsessive resentment? All this now simmering even more while being pushed down by his persona?

This is when he'll break loose.

He usually goes for the ones with the least amount of defense: drunkards/ bar frequenters. I though of this when Mimzy said he used to always come to the bar she was performing at and how he could drink like a sailor.

He might've drank with people to let their guard down in addition to his non-threatening charm, and he probably built a tolerance to be at least a bit sober when the others are full out drunk so he can easily transport and kill them.

He probably enjoys killing/eating his victims because a) it shows how he has power now. How he isn't a helpless victim anymore and he's finally in control of his life or b) where he likes seeing privileged people beaten and bruised for once, the gratification of seeing someone taste their own medicine by his own hand, like revenge, even if that person hadn't been necessarily bad towards him.

His death ro me is the same that everyone else thinks, where he's burying some victims body and gets mistaken for a deer, then shot straight between the eyes. What I do think a bit differently is that he was chased by hunting dogs first, which alerted the hunter for him to get shot, which then led to his fear of dogs.

Then he was finally free to do anything. Hell had no limits, he didn't have to hide his carnage anymore. But now that smile he wore was engraved into his face, almost making it impossible to frown. But that didn't matter. Not right now. Alastor has so many emotions bubbling up that he just wanted blood to be on his hands.

And then he slaughtered the overlords and took their souls within weeks ( maybe months, idk how quick he killed them, but ima go with weeks), broadcasting it over the radio to show everyone what he's been up to.

Alastor had kept this routine for a couple of decades, occasionally getting a guest star on his broadcast by those who he seems fit.

But maybe he had become too cocky with this power high, as he had been attacked by holy weaponry right before the extermination he dealth with most of them, but a shot did make it into his shoulder, causing him to collapse in pain, unable to move. (a bit simple, but I imagine him getting badly hurt by angels/angelic weaponry to lethal levels and Lilith decides to save him)

He fought hard when the angels arrived, of course, but he could only go so far in being this injured. So when he was about to get stabbed in the chest by a holy spear, he was already tired and almost accepted his fate, before being pulled somewhere by Lilith herself.

This is where Lilith offers a beat and broken Alastor a one time deal: become her servant or she'll throw him back to the exterminators herself. And in a situation like this, there's usually only one option you can really take.

And so he was a ghost, leaving everything he had behind. His power, his respect, his freedom...

Now Alastor had become a pawn again. A tool useful for the right situations, and just a toy to be played with by Lilith. This is exactly what he didn't want from his human life. The humility, the disregard, treating him as some sort of street animal, no matter what he did.

And now she orders him to guard her daughters hotel, giving him back a piece of his power to protect the hotel.

Alastor had hated Charlie for how she misused her amazing power for something like redemption.

Alastor hated Lucifer, for having all that power, being the strongest demon in hell, yet taking it for granted while mocking him about his choices.

And Alastor hated Lilith, for trapping him again, and renewing his endless cycle of suffering.

So those are my thoughts about Alastor. I think you can tell he's my favorite. I just love his powers and lore.

[hopelesslygaysstuff]

Resending this because I'm an idiot and sent it half finished

So I think a day out with possessive mommy wanda would be so nice. She'd get you all dressed up in a cute little outfit and have you do a little twirl to show it off. She'll look you up and down telling you how pretty you look for her while you fluster under her intense gaze. As a reward for being so good for her recently she's decided to take you shopping.

Wanda will spoil you endlessly, buying anything you want. She'll rest her hand on your ass while you're walking to the next shop because she always wants to be touching you in whichever way she can. That way anyone who looks at you will know you're taken, and also by the dark marks she littered all over your neck the night before that she refused to let you cover up. You get a little embarrassed but you know you're proud to be hers. When you make a pitstop at a cafe for lunch, she'll have you sit on her lap, one arm wrapped securely around your waist and one resting on your thigh. Of course Wanda will order for you, she knows your favourite snack and drink anyway.

For the end of the day, she'll surprise you with one more reward and will let you eat her out as she knows how much you love her taste. She'll then allow you to choose what toy she uses to fuck you with and will fuck you till you cant think about anything but her.

-🦎

i firmly believe that wanda picks out your outfits for you. she's all like, "let mommy dress you baby, i want to pick he perfect outfit for my perfect girl," and you fall for it every time. she practically just makes you melt, and so here you are in one of the shortest skirts you own, floundering under wanda's intense green eyes.

"you look so beautiful, darling." she'd husk out, and you'd just get even more flustered than you already are, reminding her that you have things to get done today.

she'd reward you for being so on top of things by promising a reward while you're out for the day. it seems like the second you even hint at wanting something, she's already put it in the cart. you can't help but start to get needy, with the way her hand is dangerously low on your waist, her fingers brushing the sweet of your backside every so often.

you're tugging your hair around your shoulders, trying to hide the dark hickeys she'd marked you with the night before, but wanda just smiles at you and brushes it right back behind your ears, leaning in to whisper, "don't hide them, darling. i want everyone to know that you're mine."

of course, you take one look at her wide green eyes, and find that you can't deny her anything. so, you walk around with your head held high, and wanda doesn't think she's ever been this desperate in public before.

she can barely make it through the late lunch you have, what with you squirming all over her lap. her hand on your hip stops most of the movement, but she watches the flush gradually make its way up your neck and onto your pretty face.

"let me order for you baby. remember, mommy knows what's best for you." she'd murmur, and you'd agree, satisfied with the choice she picked out for you.

by the time you get home, wanda's so fucking proud of you that she just can't hold herself back any longer. she practically throws you onto the bed, ripping her clothes off as you squirm out of your own, before positioning herself above your eager tongue.

"as a reward for being so good for me, now you get to eat mommy out and make her feel good." she'd say, and you'd barely have enough time to nod before your mouth is covered by her dripping core.

you barely remember the rest of the night, the taste of her lingering on your tongue as she rewards you with orgasm after orgasm after orgasm.

---

hehehehehe thank u so much for this one i wrote this with a rising fever so if its bad, im sorry

dw, i'm about to go take some medicine rn but i had to get the thoughts out

[kararomanoff]

my baby

this was written by a minor, if that makes you uncomfortable then feel free to not interact

warning: fingering (r reserving), mommy kink (n), pet names (baby, sweetheart)

hiiiii this is my first post, im very excited but this will probably be really bad

you where lying on the sofa watching friends waiting for Natasha to come out the shower. You and Nat have been dating for 3 months now and you couldn't be happier and you hoped she felt the same way.

'' hey sweetheart'' you hear for behind you and you turn around to see Natasha standing there in with only a towel covering her bare body ''baby?'' she rasps

''hm?'' you reply shaking your filthy thoughts away but still not being able to tare your eyes away from your lovers glorious chest, Natasha starts waking forward until she is close enough for her to pick up your chin ''what you looking at baby hm?'' you shrug to embarrassed to say it out loud ''was it these honey?'' her voice was now low as ask and gropes her own chest while dropping her towel.

you accidently let out a moan at the sight before you and Nat smirks ''underdress for mommy baby'' she didn't need to ask you twice, you hurried to lift your shirt over your head and pulling both your shorts and panties down in one go ''aww look at my baby so obedient for mommy'' she chuckles as you hastily nod wanting to be filled with her fingers.

Nat sits down on the sofa and pats her lap indicating for you to sit ''yes mommy'' you answer shyly ''good girl'' once you straddle her lap she starts to kiss your neck as she trails her hands down your body grabbing at everything she can ''mommy pleaseee...'' you beg feeling her hands but not where you needed them most ''sweetheart if you don't tell mommy what you want i cant do it'' you knew she knew what you wanted but she wasn't going to give you it till you asked so....

''Please finger me mommy please'' as soon as you finished your sentence Nat had shoved two fingers into you not leaving anytime for you to get used to it ''mhmm mommy'' you moan ''you like that baby? being mommy's good obedient girl?'' you nod not being about to say anything coherent ''aww poor baby is mommy making it hard to speak?'' you nod yet again ''maybe i should stop hm''

''NOOOOO'' you scream feeling the coil in your stomach, she adds another finger moving her hand faster ''hmmmm...'' she pretends to think ''I'll stop in... one minute, if you haven't came by then... well that's it i guess'' she threats

''nooo but-'' she stops moving her hand ''no- mommy please- i-i need to cum... please mommy'' you beg feeling the tears in your eyes, she starts moving her hand again, faster this time ''you only have thirty now, if i hear you complain again I'll stop'' you didn't want her to stop, in fact you never wanted her to stop ''mommy i need to cum''

''then do it baby, be a good girl and come for mommy'' as soon as she said that you came with Natasha prolonging you high and then holding you close ''my baby'' she mumbles ''your baby''

[pigeonmilk-216]

House MD makes me absolutely FERAL.

For instance, I finished rewatching S3 E15, "Half-Wit", the one when House fakes cancer so he can get high (typical). And

AHHH

Everyone's response to House potentially dying is EVERYTHING. And displays both the characters and their character growth SO WELL.

Wilson, ofc, is offended that his best friend *cough* *lover* *cough* didn't say anything, and hid it. And something I think (and forgive me if this is not actually how it went down to everyone else, it's 1am and I have brainrot) is really interesting, is that beyond Wilson giving House shit for not saying anything, Wilson doesn't give any of the platitudes that everyone else gives. We don't see Wilson trying to "fix" anything or say, "House your dying, can we have an actual human connection for once?". No no, Wilson just lets him be.

Now, either Wilson is pissed and reeling from this news , and is just distancing himself (which tbh feels ooc, like House has crossed worse lines before, and Wilson deals with cancer everyday, idk).

OR you can look at the option of Wilson knows House well enough (and cancer, let's be real) that trying to fix it, won't change anything, that coming up to House and trying to "console" him won't do anything. House is House, and Wilson KNOWS THAT. Wilson knows that if House really and truly wants a conversation about it, or any comfort, House will just be like, " Yo, can we go get wasted?" and that's that.

AND THEN HIS FUCKING ANALYSIS AT THE END AND HIM FUCKING LAUGHING AT THE IRONY.

And Cuddy, I feel like, is the middle ground between how Wilson and the kids react. She doesn't go out of her way to say something, but in an almost hand-on-the- doorknob-as-I'm-leaving type way does she say something. AND THEN THEIR BANTER IN THE HALL IS FUCKING EVERYTHINGG. And her FUCKING smile as House grabs her ass (istg I can only say this in real action to this fucking show) but still dismissing him coming to the bedroom with her

Like both her and Wilson and obviously hurt, right, but they don't outright change their behavior toward House or anything, but they accept it (kind of) and don't go out of their way to change anything,

AND THEN THE KIDS' RESPONSES. ANHHH

I love Chase's moment. He's just like, "Dad, shut up and let me hug you" AND FUCKING STARTS CRYING

CHASE IS LITERALLY THE ONLY ONE WHO CRIES

He's like, "Goddammit, I'm going to lose two of my parentals to this cancerous bullshit. Tf."

AND HUGH LARUIE'S ACTING I CANT

YOU CAN SEE HOUSE REALIZING THAT, "oh shit, they really care and this is really going to hurt them" LIKE WHAT THE HELL. MY HEART, FUCK THIS SHOW WTH

And I love how Cameron is shown in this episode, over the first three seasons, we can see her kinda of coming to her own, and learning from House, so instead of like, backing down from helping House she just fucking kisses him so she can steal his blood. Like. YES CAMERON. GET IT.

AND AGAIN

HUGH LAURIE. YOU CAN SEE HOUSE'S HESITATION, WEIGHING THE PROS AND CONS BEFORE KSSING BACK.

And tbh I feel like House is low key proud of Cameron for a moment in a "she is taking after me" type way.

And Foreman trying not to care, but caring the whole time, and HIS FACE WHEN HES TELLING HOUSE HE DOESNT HAVE CANCER. LIKE. JXNKSCVJVXFBJKBFVSKJ

And I just love everyone's reaction five seconds later when they realize

"House is an addict. Right. Fucking this was a sham, fuck"

AND THEIR FACES ARE EVEYTHING

Cameron is crestfallen, outraged. Foreman is slightly pissed but completely nonplussed almost? Like a I should have expected this/this is such a House thing, which is why I dislike the man. And his sarcastic response is EVERYTHING And, Chase, oh Chase. He's so disbelieving and hurt. Like my baby I'm so sorry.

And House like really understanding how much this hurt them, and kinda of being a fucking TOTAL IDIOT and like slightly scared I feel but arrogant enough to just fucking like. Trying to blame so he doesn't feel guilty (he does) pushing them away so he doesn't have to face consequences (he's spiraling) and and after Wilson (finally) talks to him, having to stop and THINK about how fucking miserable is he really (he's such and idiot) and just AHHH

AND THEN HIM FUCKING GOING INTO THE RESTAURANT AT THE END?????? ITS A FUCKING CRIME THAT WE DON'T SEE THAT CONVERSATION BETWEEN HIM AND THEM. LIKE SIR, I WANT TO THIS POTENTIALLY EMOTIONALLY CHARGED MOMENT. LIKE

And honestly, Ilove how House interacts with the patient in the episode, it's on par with the boy who had autism earlier this season. Like the piano part is what really intrigues him, but still goes forth to give him his life back. Idk, just felt special.

Okay, um so thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. Idk what happened.

[burningblizzard224]

I wish I knew every version of you

I know one of them, and bits of the rest.

Post 2022, Virgil, you. I know you, I know your favorite sandwich, the way you sit with bad posture, your partner, the way you make box Mac n cheese on thanksgiving, how the wind makes you cry, the light jingle of your bag, how you type, (how you type.), your love for art, your caring for people, how you have a spreadsheet of times youve cried, your pro nouns, your job, your classes, the stress of checking your grades and seeing dollar signs, your laugh, your voice, “yeah?”, how you almost cant help yourself from comforting people even though you’re not always sure how, the way you feel so light in someone’s arms when sleeping yet so present in a hug, the way your face reacts when you say something, how you can’t let go of things, you hold onto anything from a person you care about, how you lay on a couch by yourself because it still smells like them, you don’t like to shower, rather you don’t like committing to a shower, you check apps over and over again even if you know they aren’t going to post, “I don’t know what it is like not to have deep emotions. Even if I feel nothing, I feel it completely.” You’re not very good at sitting in silence, especially being still in silence, you seem so free to me, a bird who’s flying yet has so many threads pulling them back down, while Icarus couldn’t fly to high he also couldn’t fly to low, your voice, I’ve always done voices in my head but yours is different as in it’s not me doing your voice but it’s your voice, your bony hips elbows and knees, you cant lay down on the floor for to long, your bony hips have nerds sitting in a closet from years ago, your room is you, I wish you sometimes wore contacts because I think you believe you look wrong without glasses, you have only finished the cheddars pasta twice, after everything it’s still you.

Thats the only you I’ve known, but I can see the other ones in poems, photos and stories

Circa 2021 Virgil you talk about like a bad phase, who you’re embarrassed about, yet I think this is still who writes most of your poems, your phone is your friend, thats where you can watch a bunch of people play Minecraft and pretend that everything is ok, is he still in your life?, he’s still in your mind today, a ghost who haunts the words that you write, you’re starting to realize how people can lie, why would you lie, this you shaped modern day you more than almost anyone, you didn’t tell your mom about Least Favorite Only Child, you’re not an only child, when’s the last time you weren’t, are you an only child on cookie day?, drunk people scare you, you never liked Derik because of that, your clothes scream at you, has Addison Grace released that song yet?, you have friends yet feel empty, you look uncomfortable at a lunch table at times, why is everything sad, why are all these things sad, why have you become so sad, it didn’t start here, but it’s loud here, it’s so loud, yet no one will listen, why won’t anyone listen?

You did the lip sync every year, I wish I had it my camera roll, you’re different, you’re different from you, from those around you, from wanting a different name that comes from that weird kid show, to your hair, to how you dress, but you still had died hair, you change your name, you say I want sad young but I don’t think you were far behind, you’re fully aware you’re not straight, “she/her” starts sounding wrong, your Halloween costumes always impress me in photos, yet some photos you just look uncomfortable, I know less and less about you the farther we go back, yet I wish I knew every version of you

You eat chocolate so odd, eating the actual chocolate part then the middle, I wonder just how blonde your hair was, your name, I don’t know if I’ve even said it, you listen to your dad’s music in the car, your school has a giant hill in it that sucks, I think we would’ve been friends, I wish we were friends, you really are an artist, and I wish I knew more, you still have many of your stuffed animals, I wonder when you actually got Max, Mim and Jaya, the way you talk about friends is the most i think I hear this version of you, or when talking about your sister, you just want to know your cool sister, she talks about a letter you wrote for her in class, I wish you saw the smile she had on her face when we had that conversation.

[heard-nsfw-is-back]

I will write all the smut this ship deserves. Mario x Donkey Kong. It's EGREGIOUSLY horny. I have no excuse. It's smut all the way through dude.

This is too fuking long. Why is THIS my longest fic? I'm so irrationally upset at my own handiwork. I'm not even done writing it I just like to come back up here for AIR.

I finally finished it and I made sure it was sweet at the end. God if this sends me to hell I'd agree completely.

4 days writing a fic why. Why? I ask again. Why?

If you asked Mario a few weeks ago if he was a size queen he'd disagree completely. Being mildly uncomfortable taking a man twice his size? And liking it?? No. Absolutely not. However being bent over a kart drooling and moaning every time DK pushed in to him was blissful. He couldn't think, couldn't speak, could barely breathe and he would never get enough.

DK was boastful, arrogant and blunt to a fault but he was kind and patient, appreciated his people and the work they did. He spent a whole week with Mario so he could try almost every power up he could and learning how to use them effectively. DK was fun and honest and was the first to approach Mario to tell him how he felt.

They spent a few days getting to know each other and when DK brought up sex it was a little jarring. "I couldn't take you are you serious? I'd rip something. Actually you'd rip me completely." Saying it out loud though, a little shiver of excitement raced down Mario's spine. Wouldn't that be amazing? To have Donkey Kong hold him down and just pound in to him?

Donkey Kong just shrugged. "I'm fine with never doing anything. I'm not a monster but..." He paused and slowly smiled at Mario's dazed and awed expression. "I think you'll like it." Mario slowly nodded and swallowed. DK led Mario inside to the garage and walked him over to a kart that was sitting waiting for tires. Mario reached up and wrapped his arms as best he could around Donkey Kong's neck. "You're so big." He murmured in awe. DK laughed and pulled Mario up so he was sitting on the kart.

"Just wait a bit. It's not the last time you'll say that." Mario almost rolled his eyes but Donkey Kong pressed a kiss against Mario's neck, distracting him. He tilted his head back giving as much room as possible. "Kiss me. Like actually kiss me." Donkey Kong huffed a laugh and kissed Mario, tongue tracing his lips. The smaller man arched in to the kiss opening his mouth and playing with DK's tongue.

Donkey Kong pressed his tongue down and Mario set to work taking what he could. His tongue was so big and dexterous, curling around Mario's mouth like it was a mission. Tracing teeth and playing with Mario's tongue. Eventually Mario got comfortable with the size and starting sucking on it. His hips canted forward and brushed against Donkey Kong's hips and erection.

DK grabbed Mario's hip and pulled back. "Easy I uh. Well I don't want to rush you. I want to take my time. Really ruin you." Mario shook, painfully aroused. "Do it. Please. Ruin me. Take me. I want you." Donkey Kong groaned a half curse and laid Mario flat. "I'm going to take my time. See if you can take a finger or my tongue first. Just lay there and take me. Take what I give you." Mario whimpered a little and pushed his overalls down around his ankles. DK smiled and just ripped them off. "You're not going to need that for a while."

Mario was mad for all of 5 seconds before he felt Donkey Kong wrap his mouth around his dick. "Oh my f...god yes." Mario shook and held on to DK's head. The pressure, the sound, the feeling of a tongue playing with his head and hands gripping him tight was near euphoric. How did he get anything done before this? How would he get anything done after this? This is all that he'll think about. Donkey Kong slowly bobbing his head and the low slurping noises was sending him so high. Not soon enough but too fast, Donkey Kong sucked harder, bobbing faster. Mario felt the world fade and narrow down to the pressure of his orgasm.

"Please please yes so close keep going..I can't take much more." Mario begged, hips being held down by DK unable to move, to finish, to help him get there. He tried holding Donkey Kong down but he couldn't manipulate him at all. He was at DK's mercy right now. Stuck between a kart and any world's best mouth, dizzying and wonderful and soon Mario felt the world collapse as his orgasm ripped and pulled at him.

He screamed and pulled at Donkey Kong's fur and DK just kept sucking and tonguing at the slit, pulling every drop he could. Mario felt the room stop spinning and bonelessly tried wiggling out of Donkey Kong's grip. The prince laughed gently and slowly lowered Mario's legs down, at some point they ended up around his shoulders. Mario blinked and shook, overwhelmed by feeling of finishing so hard and so much. "I can't oh my f..I'm just. That was amazing." Mario huffed out, throat a little sore from yelling and moaning.

"Mm yeah but was it super?" Donkey Kong teased. Mario looked at him, glaring as much as he could from his still hazy vision. "That's it. See if you ever eat me out." DK inhaled sharply. "Is that on the table? Is that I mean are you in to that?" Mario smiled. "I don't know if I'm super in to it." He shot back. DK rolled his eyes and nodded. "Yeah yeah. But I'm going to have to get in there. If your cum tastes that good I can't wait to eat the rest of you." Mario's nose wrinkled. "You mean you swallowed it? Ew gross you can spit it out I won't be mad." Donkey Kong laughed at Mario's face and shook his head.

"I'm in to you. Anyway you tasted fine. Better than fine. Now turn around and spread em." Mario slowly slid down enough to turn on to his stomach. "I've never done this. If it goes bad I'm just going to close down the portal pipe and pretend this never happened. Don't laugh at pipe." Donkey Kong had the nerve to look incredulous. "I'm sorry I have a sense of humor?" Mario felt DK tracing the cleft right above where his cheeks started. "A 'sense of humor' he says. Laughing at pipe like ooooh fuhmmp yes right there." DK licked right from Mario's perineum up, up and across the hole.

"I was right." Donkey Kong breathed, the warm air making Mario shudder. "You taste delicious." Mario's legs gave out, too turned on to think at this point. Donkey Kong either licked around or on Mario's hole or gently bit in to his thighs and ass. "I could do this for hours." He muttered and Mario shook. Getting eaten for hours, laid out like a meal and taking it by this fantastic mouth, what he wouldn't do to make that happen.

DK held Mario's cheeks open and slowly laved Mario's hole, gently pushing it in. "Ohh yeah you're so big oh that feels amazing." Mario covered his mouth, biting in to his glove to try and muffle any more noises. Soft little whimpers and pleas for more. Donkey Kong pulled his hand away and stuck two fingers in to Mario's mouth. "Keep making those sounds. Nice and loud for me. I could get used to hearing them." Mario sucked and licked at his fingers. He held up DK's hand and lost himself in the feeling of being held like this.

"My hearing isn't bad but I think you can do a lot better than that pretty." Donkey Kong pushed his tongue in as much as he could and Mario scratched at the kart and yelled again. "Oh my god yes please oh you're so deep please give it to me." Mario begged and felt himself rutting against the kart on to DK's tongue. "Please yes more just like that." Donkey Kong almost lost it. Torn between gloating over Mario twisting under him and wanting to just dick him up and down. He was so hard he might actually cum just from this.

Mario was salty and sweet and so wet and soft. How he even debated on this at all now was laughable. He would have to do this again. And again. He would need to. He needed to be inside Mario whenever he could be. He would never be able to focus on anything but the smell and taste and sound of Mario fucking himself in his mouth. DK gripped his dick just to ground himself but even that was too much and as soon as Mario crumpled again in to orgasm, DK came in to his hand.

Donkey Kong pulled Mario back on to his chest. "I need. I need to be in you. Please. I'll go crazy if I can't feel you around me." He pressed his face in to Mario's neck. Mario couldn't think. He didn't know up or down. He felt half asleep and over stimulated. And yet he needed it too. He needed Donkey Kong inside him. He could feel the half hard dick twitch against his thigh and he couldn't remember the last time he needed something so bad. "Are you sure? You're already so out of it." A small chuckle. "Drunk on me already?"

Mario reached down and started pumping at Donkey Kong's dick and felt it jerk in his grip. "Oh yeah? If you've still got energy to move then I'm not doing you right." Mario was pushed on to the kart and held there by a massive hand and it felt so warm and nice Mario hummed and smiled. "You look so good like this. Should keep you here. Fill you up whenever I want." Mario keened and arched under DK's hand. "Gonna do me in front of the other Kongs? Show them what a good king you are by keeping me full of cum?" Mario teased. "So far I've had your tongue but what else could you fill me with? I'm not feeling anything yet."

Donkey Kong leaned down and whispered in to Mario's ear. "I'm gonna stretch you out. Good and proper and not until you've cum twice will I give you my dick. You understand? I'm going to make you learn to take only my dick. No one else, not even your pretty little fingers, will be enough for you." Mario rubbed against the kart. "Please. Please ruin me, take me. Fuck me. I can't take anything else."

DK kissed Mario's shoulder. "I've got you. I won't mess with you anymore. I do need to stretch you out or you will break. Just wait a minute." Donkey Kong moved away and Mario whined, upset at the loss. DK just like over and shook his head. "I'll get back in that ass in a second. I need to find something besides oil to get you open." Mario turned on to his back and stared at Donkey Kong rifling through bags and parts. He bit his lip and started pumping his dick. Needed something, anything. Mario was so turned on the room was just him and the ten or so feet Donkey Kong was away from him.

He pressed a finger inside, trying to find that one spot that made him fall apart. Tugging and fingering himself wasn't doing it anymore. Like he was already remade for Donkey Kong. It was just enough to keep him grounded and in the mindset. A minute or so later DK found Vaseline and turned triumphant to Mario, and promptly almost dropped it.

"Like what you see?" "Oh yeah." Donkey Kong walked back over to Mario. "Faster. Yeah that's right. Harder. That's a good boy. Just like that. Keep jerking that sweet dick like that." Mario's hips and fingers twitched and flailed seeing DK stare at him. "Gonna come over here and do it or just watch?" Donkey Kong blinked. Not really sure what he wanted more. Mario turned around, feet now on the ground from all the twisting and turning. He kept stretching and fingering himself and Donkey Kong lost whatever control he had left.

Quicker than Mario could blink, DK had pushed Mario's hand away and replaced two of Mario's fingers with his own. The stretch was a pleasant but jarring burn and Donkey Kong took his finger back out and took a swab of Vaseline before pressing it back in. The cooling of the cream helped and Mario leaned in to DK's hand. He found Mario's prostate and he went boneless. Mario's eyes rolled back and he couldn't do anything but feel that finger opening him, stretching him, he would go crazy if Donkey Kong just kept moving like that.

Soon another finger was pushed in and Mario moaned and twitched, the stretch getting to be a bit much. "I know. It feels good though?" Mario smiled, half delirious. "Feels so good. So big." "Want me to keep going?" Mario hadn't noticed that DK stopped at all. "Please please keep giving me your fingers." Donkey Kong rested his head just above Mario's. "Shh I got you I'll give you whatever you want."

Minutes later of being prepped, Mario had three fingers pumping in and out of him steadily. "Think you can handle me?" Mario had felt Donkey Kong's dick twitching between his legs. He needed it. Never would want anything else but that long thick dick again. "Please.. inside. Please just fuck me. Please." Mario begged, near tears. "Shh no need to cry I'll take care of you." DK soothed and kissed Mario's shoulder. Gently he pressed the head against Mario's hole and eased his way in, going from kneading Mario's ass to leaving butterfly kisses along his back.

Mario's mouth hung open, too worked up to keep it closed. If he thought Donkey Kong's fingers were glorious, Donkey Kong's dick was heaven sent. Just this side of overbearing and so hot and there was no way he was going to forget this feeling. "Almost there. Bout half way." Mario shook and scratched down the paint of the kart. Felt like DK was going to be going in forever at this point.

A few moments later, Mario felt DK's hips smack against his ass. He was so full he felt like he could taste the head of Donkey Kong's dick. He opened his eyes and looked back at DK. Donkey Kong was staring at Mario's stomach and as he looked down he saw his stomach swell from the massive cock he just took. "I'm never going to get over that sight." DK breathed. But he pulled back, slow and steady and pushed back in. Every so often plastering more Vaseline on his dick.

Eventually he started moving a bit faster and Mario whined for more. "Yes just like yes good you feel so good want more please give it to me." Donkey Kong squeezed Mario's hips. "Easy. I'll give it to you just wait a bit." Mario growled impatiently and started moving on his own. Pistoning back and forth between the kart and the hot dick that was driving him up the wall. "Oh f.. god ok yeah you want it like that so bad baby? Take it. Take my cock." Donkey Kong pressed Mario's shoulders down with one massive hand and held Mario's hips up.

He slammed in to Mario and went as fast as he could. Mario was so tight and compliant and the sight of his tummy bulging out from Donkey Kong's dick was almost too much. Warm, wet, squeezing heat and the smell of them together was so intoxicating. He let go of Mario's hip and pressed him as much as he could in to the kart. "Oh yeah that's so good you're so tight. M'gonna cum inside you. Gonna breed you yeah? Oh fuck I never want to be outside your ass. Keep taking me. You're amazing." DK stared down at Mario. He was a drooling mess. Babbling about cock and how his ass was breaking in two.

Mario was in a daze. He was drunk on cock and had lost any sanity left. Nothing mattered more that how Donkey Kong's cock felt. He could feel it up in to his stomach even though that probably wasn't true. He was breaking and he would never be satisfied with anyone other than Donkey Kong. His vision faded and too soon he was cumming harder than thought he could. He felt his body curling in and Donkey Kong slammed the kart hood. "Oh hell you're tighter now. I can't. I." With a deep groan Donkey Kong was cumming in Mario and holding his hip with one hand and nearly crushing the kart with the other. He laid flat on Mario and the extra weight of him and the feeling of being pumped with cum, Mario came again.

When they both came too, Donkey Kong gently pulled out of Mario. Thick warm cum pouring out of the smaller man was a sweet sight. "Oh I can't wait to do that again." Donkey Kong groaned before falling on the floor, pulling Mario to lay against him. "Give me like a month first." Mario huffed after a few minutes. Donkey Kong brushed Mario's hair off his face and traced his jaw. "Think you'll be ok if I take us up to my room? I have some snacks and drinks up there." Mario felt butterflies and smiled, touched by the sweet touches and gesture.

Donkey Kong curled an arm around Mario and ran off and up in to his own room. He fed Mario bites of protein bars and fruits before passing him water and juice. "You're sweet. Thank you." DK shrugged off the compliment. "No big thing." Mario frowned. "No you are. You're annoying and brash and rude and arrogant but you're kind and your people love you and you make friends easily. You fight well with confidence and you can make a man feel real real good." Donkey Kong just shifted his weight side to side. "It's no big thing." A little embarrassed and Mario shook his head.

" I made you feel good?" Donkey Kong asked, just to touch base. Mario laughed after swallowing the last of his water. "Good enough if you have the Vaseline we can go again."

((Is Vaseline a good lube? Idk man don't fucking look at me))

[w1f1n1ghtm4r3]

followup fun facts about together, to that promised aquarium

this is gonna be just kinda a disorganized post of random things so uh. dont mind that.

the event title is actually a double reference ^^ its both a callback to 1dt with 1c promising to find time to do things as friends despite getting busier (even if theres no ichika this time), and also a reference to harusakis first kizuna!

colopale you still havent given us that aquarium they said theyd go to. theres a reason i had to do it myself. the fact that theres not an aquarium event in general is a crime tbh i know theres some romantic connotations with a pair going to an aquarium but theres very easy solutions to avoiding that? sending a group of 3+ characters together, having them run into other characters while there, inviting someone else along (even if they cant go, it helps make it feel more like a friend thing i think). i did a bit of the latter two, as you mightve noticed! in general though its just SUCH an obviously fun event theme i cant beleive we havent had one yet

while i am a known harusaki shipper, i kept the story pretty light on the stuff that could be read as explicitly shippy, since when im trying to make fake events, i like to think about how itd work in canon, which means keeping it low on explicit ship content. plenty of stuff that could be taken as ship food (as id like it to be!) but nothing that would alienate non shippers from enjoying the story too.

i actually didnt write shizukasas presence as intended for ship content at all though, but im definitely okay with people taking it that way lol they can be on a date too if you want them to be. my plan with them was simply theyre childhood friends too but dont get to spend time together that often anymore -> their schedules line up with a free day and tsukasa heard about the aquarium from saki, decides to invite shizuku to go there with him as a part of hanging out together -> surprise encounter with harusaki!

also both of them were scoring quite high on the form when i decided to lock in the lineup (tsukasa was absolutely sweeping the 2* category, and while shizuku wasnt winning anything, she was a pretty popular choice) and theyre very easy to work into a story together and also into a story that is focused on harusaki (╯▽╰ ) the benefits of siblings and unitmates

(tsukasa 2* poll sweep at the time of me solidifying my lineup)

the event and gacha names actually both came to me one night while i was about to fall asleep. struck by inspiration so strong i had to grab my phone and write them down in my notes app. and they actually worked very well! also heres the transparents of the logos if you want them i guess

the card/skill/costume names also mostly came to me in similar ways, in the last couple nights before i finished everything. i think only saki, luka, and shizukus skills didnt come to me that way.

while the rui fish in tsukasa card might be obvious, theres actually more animals referencing other characters too! theres a group of three fish in sakis card that are the colors of the rest of leoni, the sneakiest of the bunch, and also not quite as sneaky but maybe not as obvious as the rui fish is the airi and minori sea slugs :)

i did think about giving tsukasa fish to be emu and nene too, but that many differently colored fish in a 2* seemed like too much, so i didnt do it... at least of the units involved, 2/3 of them are fully represented in some way!

and now most importantly probably, is that this is in fact my second pass at an aquarium event! the original one i started back in 2022 and......... i think you guys can figure out why i couldnt just reuse it when i decided to go for making an aquarium event again this time.

yep, youre seeing that right. 4/5 of the characters i chose are the same as what ended up being 1dt, all i got wrong was the vs. thats pretty crazy, honestly. im still not fully convinced colopale isnt just stealing my ideas after val3 happened too /j

it was also saki focus actually! i had written out a rough idea for the story back then too, and while theres some similarities to the current one, it obviously went through a lot of changes when revising the lineup and also with everything that has happened in the story over the past two years. it was definitely a bit more explicitly shippy than my new attempt, although i still tried to keep the shipping stuff toned back somewhat

i only ever made one card for that set though, just lukas 2*... but thats the original reason i made the old 2* backgrounds! its always those fake events throwing me into the graphic design trenches (fist shake) i had been trying to do a more canon-accurate style to......... mixed success. its not terrible, but i definitely could not have done the full set like this. theres a reason i did promised aquarium in my own style!

the original theme for the set was kind of like..... performers at an aquarium? along with living water sculptures of animals. it was a fun idea, but i think i was much better suited to doing the underwater scenes of promised aquarium and also we have plenty of performance themed trained sets already ^^

considering i also technically kept her from the original set (plus she was also winning the vs poll), i gave her a higher rarity card this time around for fun. and also because i knew none of shizuku tsukasa or luka would have super significant roles in the story, and i thought it would be fun to design a lim hairstyle for her!

one final random fun fact: the thing that kicked me into gear making promised aquarium was the fact that haruka wasnt on beautiful sound. i was just a little mad that they had an underwater set WITH A PENGUIN COSTUME and there was no haruka. sometimes petty beef brings out my craziest motivations and then i proceeded to spend the better part of a month planning and making it happen.

[sopebubbles]

Hi darling, I read what you posted about your health and the future of Lone Wolf. I'm not here to tell you to write another chapter or anything, I actually want to share something with you that helped me a lot during a time when I was feeling bad physically in a general way.

Based on personal experience, I highly recommend you to stop eating gluten. Whether your health is being tarnished by it or not, it can hugely impact your lifestyle by leaving it out of your diet. It could also help the medications you are taking to make an even bigger effect on your body.

I don't want to brag about me, but I deem it important to share my experience with you and hopefully it can help you start improving your health.

Since the beginning of the pandemic, I started to notice a regression on my period. I also began feeling nauseous and with high migraines that would make me lay in bed unwillingly. I had to take homeopathy to force my uterus to help me menstruate but once I finished the bottle of medicine, my period would be gone too. The headaches and nausea didn't disappear, at all.

It wasn't until August of this year that my mum, (may she be blessed) told me to stop eating anything with high amounts of gluten, like bread, cake and pasta. Darling, I guarantee you that that Saturday was the first day in three years since I felt "normal" again.

I haven't eaten gluten since then and I have felt way better than months ago.

Sorry for rambling but it pains me to hear you that you are suffering, specially with your health.

This is my case, I am not assuming yours is the same as mine but I highly recommend you to try.

I have found multiple products that are gluten free and are not that expensive as I thought they were.

I discovered my gluten intolerance after three years of feeling like absolute shit. I only hope this can help you, I usually don't share this with anyone as I don't like reminiscing those months when I tired, sleepy, nothing was appetizing to me, my hormones were all over the place. I wasn't living, I was merely surviving.

Take care, and I really wish you would give it a try. You have a beautiful soul and an incredible mind full of amazing stories and plots that need to be known You have a lot to experience and many things yet to see. You have a gift with words and I can tell you have a really big heart.

I wish you the best and I apologise if this was tedious to read. I only wanted to give you a piece of advice and remember we, as ARMY support each other. We are not just a fandom, we are family of the purple blood.

May you have a blessed day and your health may be restored as soon as possible :)

~Rosie 💜

Hi Rosie! Thank you for taking the time to share your experience. I'm sure you are probably right about the gluten thing, but it's one of those things i simply cant resign myself to. I have a hard enough time with food, the idea of cutting out wheat products when I dont like the taste of alternatives just makes me want to cry. Doesnt seem like a life worth living if theres no bread in it.

Sorry it took me so long to reply to this. Im low key really bad at taking unsolicited advice. Im an aquarius sun, Sagittarius moon, so i just cant stand it. But i know you meant well and i appreciate your care. Hope you have a great day 💜

[eazy-peazy54]

okay so yall wanted to see my jank ass smiling friends au so HERE WE GO

Basically a new building appears near the hq

like.. really close

and low and behold its a fucking factory

and that factory just so happens to have a gas tank in the basement. a gas tank that was installed by complete morons.

a gas tank that fucking exploded !!

yippee !!!

anyways turns out the factory was actually really shady, and that gas was extremely toxic, meaning that if you ever breathe that shit for over a minute without a gas mask,

you're ermmm kinda dead

well not dead exactly. mostly just extremely mutated in terrible ways. oh and also your brain is basically kiiinda fried too so you are basically a half dead walking corpse !

well not completely. because you can still think and see, you just cant control anything you do or say. hell, you cant even say anything. so your basically in zombie-limbo-purgatory-hell.

fun times !!!!!

either way you are totally screwed.

anyways heres where smiling friends comes in

charlie, glep and alan are all in the building.

charlie hears about the news, and alerts the other two and everyones like "oh shit"

but charlie is now very aware that pim is NOT IN THE BUILDING AND NOWHERE TO BE FOUJND?!?!!?

so immediately charlie starts panicking

meanwhile, alan is also panicking, because he didnt think it was that bad (dumbass) (affectionate) and opened the door and went outside to see.

once alan realized "oh shit its real and i breathed it in" it was far too late and he was already infected.

one down, 3 (?) to go.

✓ ? X ✓

meanwhile, in a different place pim is totally infected

✓ X X ✓

anyways,. alan tries to get in the building whilst infected, but only ends up opening the window instead

charlie has a mask on so he closes the window. he gives glep one too so theyre both good

stuff happens and shenanigans ensue

somehow glep gets infected (havent figured this part out yet but ill edit when i do hehe)

✓ X X X

more shenanigans ensue etc..

charlie is left alone, so he has a panic attack and passes THE FUCK out and wakes up the next morning, still at the hq

and everyone is there and okay.

turns out charlie was just really fucking tired (and high) and that whole thing was just a really shitty fever dream

or not. who knows? i dont. i havent finished this au yet and i just came up with that ending (it probably will be the ending anyways but whatever)

and that is literally all i have

hope yall enjoyed this silly ass au

ill drop designs for the characters some day

also idk what to call it but for now its just the gas leak au / mutilated au

[fieldspaintedgold]

journal entry 8000000000

I don't know if it's my hormones, bc I did my shot this morning and am for some reason bleeding, or if its because this is the first day off I've had entirely alone, or if its mental illness or what.

I just needed to fucking write and writing in the physical journal makes my hand hurt and takes so long that i end up overthinking things. I'm not even overthinking right now, im just so sad?

I've been doing chores all day. Went to the office to figure some shit out. I've been fine all day, i've been fine for a while now except for small cry sessions here and there obviously.

I realized about ten minutes ago for the first time in my life without someone having to tell me that I'm going through terrible depression. Literally nothing sounds interesting to me, idk if its just now or if its been like that for a long time. Maybe that's why I'm so codependent, bc literally nothing is interesting to me unless it is to someone else. Thats fucking terrible. I dont know who the fuck i am because of codependent depression.

I try to keep myself busy but thats all it is is keeping busy, distracting myself from the weight of not knowing what the fuck to do with myself while im alone. tv isnt interesting at all and it doesnt help that i have the actual attention span of a pine nut recently. I made legos the other night and it was fun-ish and i like the outcome but i havent finished them bc im just not interested. I have no drive to create anything.

I've been trying to look for things to make my apartment reflect who i feel like i am way deep inside. I look around my apartment and i wonder who lives there, because I dont feel like I should be the one that does. I feel like its all wrong. I listen to the music ive always listened to and it feels wrong. everything just feels wrong and i dont know how much better i could describe it.

I feel so lost.

I'm trying so fucking hard. I'm trying to get back to myself and remember who I am but i dont think ive genuinely ever in my life known who i am and trying to figure that out is terrifying. not scary in a sense that i dont want to, but scary in a sense that like how the fuck have i never known?

everyone keeps telling me to find a hobby. thats great. but i cant find joy in literally anything no matter how hard i try. i dont enjoy being in my apartment like i thought i would after a month. i know. give it time. but how much time is it going to take? as long as it takes. that sucks.

i just want to feel at least the same sense of whatever normal was before. not in a "my life is the exact same" kind of way, but like i had control of my life. like i knew what was going on and was at peace with things. good, at least.

I feel like im just pretending. Maybe i am just pretending. but i want to not have to do that. i want to actually mean it when i say "im good, how're you?". I want to not feel like the only thing that works inside of me is my heart, because its all i can feel. constantly. it has highs, when i feel love, and it has lows, when i feel the absence. but thats all im feeling. otherwise i'm completely hollow, like im an outline of a person and thats all there is to me. like people can see and pass right through me without a thought. like im just existing in this apartment with no real purpose or meaning. and i think im experiencing depression for real for the first time, which is silly because i've been depressed since i was 12. this is the first time ive really felt it and not had someone to tell me to force myself out of it.

im trying to force myself out of it though. because i dont know what else to do, all i do is sit here and distract and feel and maybe go to a friends house or my sisters to distract some more bc i have to pretend like i'm okay in front of other people, even those i love.

i really need my health insurance to start so i can go to therapy. i need someone to help because today has felt helpless, today has felt like i cant fucking do this, today has felt like i dont even know if i want to. i'm not gonna do anything stupid bc i'm terrified of death but this feeling is so overwhelming and i'm so tired.

and i feel like i cant tell anyone that im feeling like this because the person that makes me feel safe that i want to talk to about it wants me to learn to fix things for myself and i dont want other people to worry and i dont want to go back to springwoods. i cant go back there.

I've always said "its getting bad again" to signify that I'm starting to feel like 2016 again. but i think its bad again already. i dont feel good.

[homophyte]

okay plants update. we are officially two weeks out from bringing stuff out of dormancy! started the first week of november, going to get them out the second week of february. unfortunately its still pretty cold here but the light increase should still help out until it defrosts. heres what were looking at:

this is just basically how stuff is going. i went away for like 2 weeks in late december and had a family member helping with plants but there were some issues w keeping humidity and water--nothing so serious as to cause a real problem or anything very concerning but the ampullaria is doing. uhm. i dont know what its doing but it started when i was away.

this leaf is...drunk. i guess. ive had leaves deform for low humidity before but nowhere near this much. i guess it might have been the shock of going from high to very low humidity all of a sudden making it worse when my family member had the humidifier off for a day or so to figure out how it worked but like...ive never seen this happen. its a perfectly healthy leaf so i cant really complain its just not...supposed to look like that. the basal leaves are also yellowing a lot which happened to the ventrata when it made basals and the ampullaria is making basals so im assuming its not a problem for now. speaking of, some of the basals are having the same problem:

im gonna be honest this is so weird to me. it was not doing this before and i hasnt stopped doing it since. theyre just...curly. and a little damaged on the ends. i dont know why. im thinking its probably related similarly to the humidity while they were developing but like...maybe also the lower water than usual??? cause the basals tend to curl when they need water?? i really dont know. im not worried, again, but just...what.

so heres an update on some the plants ive been taking care of for my mom:

we changed the desk it was on to use less space, and everything is good! been growing like gangbusters actually. and yes, those are flower spikes on the orchids! check it out!

should be blooming soon :)

heres the last update: pitcher growth. im not expecting much cause it is the winter and no matter what i do its gonna be colder than ideal and the sun less intense. whats weird is that most of the small pitchers i have have been growing pitchers like crazy, and i cant figure out why 1) some of them arent and 2) why the large ones arent. the ampullaria i know is going to be slow, and probably wont make pitchers until the basals are more developed....but it had undeveloped pitchers and killed them off, they never finished cooking. idk why. the pitchers on moe have been slowly dying from the tip down (ie age death, normal) which is very distressing! it might have no pitchers at all left very soon! even its basals, which are at this point huge, the size of moe when i got her at least, arent pitchering at all. the worst is the small plants that arent--the gayas and ventrata basals that were separated have huge and deeply colored pitchers.....the one thats probably a bloody mary hasnt made any and is also slowly killing its remaining pitchers. the crazy thing is theyre still making huge leaves! like, leaf jump sized, very happy, just....no pitchers! idk whats up with it! if it continues when it gets warmer thats when im gonna start worrying for now...who knows???

last thing to say about pitchers is one of the moe basals that has been really suceeding is having a minor pitcher problem idk what to do with. (note the very happy and large developing pitcher!!!)

so that grey fuzz is mold of some kind. this isnt really a big deal especially cause its on the outside of the pitcher--if it had been inside eating the decaying insects and then spread to start eating the outside of the pitcher it would be a bit of a bigger deal--ive had this happen to moe and it gets kinda gnarly, eats through the pitchers very fast. i think it only happens if the pitcher itself is already dying--the kind of fungus that would be in the pitcher eating the bugs really only eats stuff that already dead. but thats not whats going on here, so im kinda...what do i do about it??? this is a perfectly happy pitcher with a meal inside that should be nourishing the plant, that probably wont see very severe damage from the mold--but it definitely could happen. where the mold is id have to take off the whole pitcher if i did, though. heres some close ups:

can i have opinions on this?? idc if you dont have experience i just kinda need to jump one way or the other.

[type1cyclingdan]

Better Days Are Coming

Life is a funny thing, one minute you can be as low as you can be and the next you can be high as the stars. Last weeks race was the worst I have ever felt after riding my bike, normally my happy place where no matter how bad life is I can get on my bike and everything is instantly better.

I picked myself up, dusted myself down, had a pretty good week on the bike, and with controlling my diabetes, I worked on my breathing and visualising how I was going to race on Sunday. The night before the race was a bad one where my levels kept dropping, so through the night, the low alarm kept going off on my phone. I eventually I ended up getting up at 03:30 and having something to eat to get some carbs in to me and shut the pesky alarm up.

I could have let this get to me and affect how the day went but it is what is, you cant change it you just have to roll with it, so I made sure I had all my kit ready and read for a while. I did my Wim Hoff breathing and listened to some calming music instead of the music that I usually listen to. It's a 100-mile drive to Darley Moor race track, so over 2 hours of driving and thinking time on the way there I was listening to the Men’s World Champs Road Race. So, not to think too much about my own race.

I got there to find out that the race had be change from 13:45 to 15:00 so I took my time getting ready and just chilled in the car listening to music that would relax me. I did my Wim Hoff breathing and then got the bike out of the car and went for a short ride. My heart rate monitor would not link with my bike computer, so there is no HR data from the day, but again, it is what it is.

15 minutes before the race started, we got the opportunity to ride some laps of the track and find what way the wind is blowing as the track is so open the wind really does affect the racing. It was pretty strong on the back straight, which, to be honest, is the perfect place for it to be a headwind for what I had planned. My plan was to sit in the wheels for the whole race and do no work on the front until two laps to go where I was going to kick on the afterburners and go for a one man break to win solo.

However in life and racing plans are never concrete you have to adapt to the conditions and what others do sometimes and I had been watching one rider in particular that looked good and like he was up for a breakaway. So when he decided to go after around 18 minutes I followed him and we got a gap never a big one but enough after around 5 laps of us working really well together one other rider joined us so we were in a 3 up break and continued to work well together. It started to rain which was really good for us three in the break as around the tight turns and the hairpin we could pick our lines and hold our speed where as the peloton would be sketchy as hell and that would slow them down.

It was really tough and I did way to much of the work into the headwind section but if I had not I don’t think we would have stayed away. In the last 3 laps my levels started to go up a lot and with a lap to go I was up to 15 and felt the power drain out of me. I gave everything I had and managed to stay away to finish 3rd, over 40 minutes in the break it was an amazing feeling to know that I was finally seeing my strength on the bike come back.

I still have a long way to go to get back to anywhere near where I was 2 years ago but it felt good to see what I was capable of when I got my levels under control before a race. The win is coming and I have not even started the off the bike training with strength work and flexibility work so plenty more to come.As I said there is a long way to go to be able to achieve my goals, one being to win a National Masters title, but Sunday showed me that I can be competitive even with Diabetes. Do not ever let someone tell you that you can not do something and do not let anything stop you from being the best that you can be. Just because we have setbacks in life, get diagnosed with illnesses, it is never the end, only the beginning of a new chapter.

Keep Trying Never Give UP, set your self huge goals that people will tell you that you are insane to think you can achieve because if you even get close that will be one hell of a mighty achievement. Be flexible with your plans, you don’t need to change them just tweak them like I did on Sunday.

I know that there will be plenty of bad days to come, but I am bloody certain that there will be more good and outstanding days to come.

Dream big, work hard, keep trying, never give up, and believe that you can achieve 👊

[rinsedbrain]

THE ECLIPSE: So mid yet so watchable

kind of spoiler free :D?

Oh my lord i have left this account so barren in the wasteland; mostly because i've been too lazy to actually write anything cohesive, eventhough i've watched so many series since the last post.

As you can see from the title, i have just finished The Eclipse and i'll tell you how i felt about the show.

The first time i heard about this show was from the channel Byulsarang and their tier list on the BL's they had watched the past year. Agreeing with the shows I had watched that were on her list, and still agreeing checking out some shows she ranked high, I was curious to see The Eclipse as it was rank pretty low, eventhough recently I have seen many tiktoks about it. Taking a grain of salt with me, and the bar on the floor, i dived in.

The show in many ways reminded me of Not Me, a really well paced, character complex show I highly recommend, but it wasnt really any of those things. Revolution shows are hard to do, i get it, but i feel like nothing happened throughout the whole show. I think the premise itself was not so great to start with, so I didnt have my expectations that high. I cant lie to you, i skipped a lot of this show, i was just so bored! I really only watched the few interesting parts and the couple scenes ;-;

The one thing that really drew me to this show was First. Going back to Not Me, he was a side couple in the show, though not with Khao. I was so impressed by his acting that i had to pick up another show of his, and i wasnt dissapointed with his acting. The characters are alright, The most fleshed out are the main two which is fine and they have some sort of motivation, enough to keep the show consistent-ish. Khao is also a great actor, and I love their pairing so much, I hope they act in a better script soon!!

I think I've said all i've really wanted to say, nothing else really stood out to me and i think thats the problem lmao. But to sum it up; Actors, really great, Script.... ehhh...... something Byulsarang echoed in their video.

Thankyou so much for reading, I'll get back to you soon-ish maybe ❤️❤️❤️

ps. Khao and First are so fine oh my LAWDDD