#in fact their relation is not toxic
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hey just wanted to say that ive been OB-FUCKING-SESSED with your vulpes x courier comics, it has been giving me immense amounts of life thank you for your service
Aww you’re welcome, it has been fun drawing nsfw content for the first time :)) ❤️
#ask#I’m honestly surprised nobody has attacked me for picking Vulpes instead of a morally good character for Rico#Vulpes haters where are you#well anyway I didn’t want to romanticize a toxic relationship#in fact their relation is not toxic#Vulpes is toxic to himself#he never knew love and doesn’t know much about it#Rico is playing with him#he’s experimenting#but in the end he might have fallen for him#just a little#you’re right tho#he’s playing with fire and might get burnt#my fault here#I like to spice things up#tbh in my head I’ve build up a redemption arc for Vulps#I’m seeing the whole picture and makes sense to me#because love hurts when you’re an evil son of a bitch#my headcanons
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not to project like a motherfucker on natalie berzatto but ohhhh boy the impact of a narrative that says “hey, is your desire to make sure everybody around you is okay also about you? and could that perhaps be partially a maladaptive trauma response you should look into and maybe mitigate? because if it’s a genuine question that’s fine, but if the only answer you will respond well to hearing is yes that’s a You Issue Too, Babe”
#as somebody with a loud and toxic italian extended family the bear comes for my neck over and over#s3 is going even harder on that#nat’s pathology is gentler and less easy to spot than mikey’s or carmy’s or god help us all donna’s#but it is nonetheless unhealthy and bad for her#the theme of “you do not need to be Good And Pleasing to be worth love” is a lot this year#related (and this will take s4 to be sure of but i have Hope) that your ability to succeed in a garbage capitalist structure defines worth#as somebody who worked in a lot of kitchens this show just feels like home#and the thing that kept jarring me about the whole let’s upgrade to fine dining plan was …what about the people you leave behind#and after having seen napkins now it feels like the show KNOWS THAT#tina could not be hired at the bear but being hired at the beef saved her life#god i want them to bring this home#the fact that the sandwich window is the ONLY THING MAKING MONEY feels promising#like… i want the bear (the in-world restaurant) to succeed#but also no. no i do no want it to succeed as-is.#i want the bear and the beef to blend for REAL and then succeed#or i guess fail given the general themes of the season but try on terms they can be entirely proud of!!! even if they fail!!!
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oh my fucking god i feel. SO stupid rn at How i didnt make the (super sane very normal just absolutely. Yes. Surely) connection earlier but uhh
so anyway im now like 89% certain that whatever the "traces" of the narwhal that remain on ajax and facilitate their (ever-growing) innate connection are like. an actually fundamental aspect of it (them?) more or less.
why? because if you consider its pov just for a moment. the narwhal was literally about to depart teyvat for good. it had nearly finished consuming the primordial sea and preparing to breach surface to finish the job by eating the french for the leftovers their human bodies were made from. its an interstellar voyager it does not linger on planets it devours. it goes glug glug and it leaves.
and like if it wasnt for traveler intervening its confirmed through narzissenkreuz and renes world formula that teyvat wouldve just been destroyed. no one could have stopped the narwhal not neuvillette not focalors not anyone.
so what was the one other thing it did right before going for that french brunch? calling for ajax. getting them reunited in the primordial sea. like all the possible implications aside bc theres many different ways to speculate on the exact reasons why and the nature of that link. the point remains.
it wasnt leaving teyvat without finding him.
like the narwhal is about to fucking Dip from this cringe planet and whatever part of it that ajax carries within himself his narwhal Absolutely wanted to be reunited with. what the fuck am i supposed to read from that. hoyo???????!??! answers?!?!?!
and its not only the calling from the narwhal side itself either bc this is ALL coinciding with the growth of a 'restless power' within ajax and his vision malfunctioning (the things celestia is literally confirmed to harvest energy thru to repair its damaged authority) and his connection with the narwhal reaching an actual conscious level (arguably subconscious n emotional too bc i find it Curious his mood is poor right as the narwhal is repeatedly described as positively malding to the point its boss fight mechanic is literally a rage meter). ajax' power is growing. his destiny is starting to shift and something is drawing him to fontaine... right as the narwhal is getting close to finished with the primordial sea. funny how it overlaps eh. how it aligns 🤨🤨 why are they orbiting each other like this (they should kiss)
(& not to even Mention how ajax just Happened to get that absolutely exponential and borderline unbelievable feat of power spike in extending his foul legacy endurance as massively as he did. while. within the primordial sea. with his narwhal. who had at that point all but incorporated the power of that sea into itself. i s2g if childe was getting passive home turf co-op bonus exp with a 4x multiplier automatically the whole 40+ days 💀💀)
#man the way its lovely reunion but tjen ajax fucking ATTACKS IT ON SIGHT you couldve gotten married!!!!11!1 fucking unbearable i am in agony#anyway contrary to popular belief we still have no fucking clue whether ajax' link to the narwhal was innate#skirk saying the traces remain on him after meeting it isnt saying tht much. the parts he shares w it couldve well been innate but dormant#instead. also just the fact that he woke it up already shady#then like. monoceros caeli being his from the beginning is completely plausible despite ppl acting like its been confirmed his const change#and like them being halves of the same entity on some lvl would make the narwhal being so weak without him n until ajax found it again#make very much. sense. anyway ajax toxicity jokes aside if the narwhal was just trying to eat him point blank without even a hello#i do get why hed react aggressively. but also bros been telling everyone n their mom hes fighting his narwhal the seconf he finds it again😔#so i feel somewhat confident in assuming he started that 40+ days brawl#anyway if ajax Isnt the celestial narwhal on some level or possibly becoming it as their link grows.#riddle me this atheists. why is his 3rd phase boss theme. the song about His individual murderous rage at us#bc he thought he was outplayed by us. His personal wrath#whys the song for that called the wrath of the celestial narwhal. of the star swallowing whale. Hmmmge. his individual rage.#why does tusk of monoceros caeli speak of him embracing the narwhals innate qualities as embracing mere parts of Himself#funny how tjat goes!! (the OST n boss drop is not 100% serious theory but it does drive me insane. bc why would they phrase it like that)#anyway either theyre 2 halves same original entity or theyre soulmates idgaf . they should fold teyvat in half and eat it for brunch#aaand im going to be consumed by this realization for the next month wish me luck#WHY DID IT NEED HIM THERE SO BADLY???? HUH??????#i mean relatable dont we all. but its sooooooooo inch resting. Curious indeed#rambles#genshin#childe#childeposting#narwhalposting
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the awful feeling of watching yourself become obsessed with a rarepair in a small fandom
#zero escape#zero escape spoilers#virtue's last reward#sigma klim#akane kurashiki#sigmakane#6sigma#my art#man#MANNN#im a sucker for kind of toxic detached but codependent interim lovers okay#obviously sigma and akane are in love with diana and junpei respectively#but the fact is they can't have them. not in this life#not when there's so much work to do#and after 45 years of collaboration on this massive project together i mean there's gotta be some complicated web of feelings#they're kind of using each other yeah#and im sure part of sigma hates akane for essentially ruining his life and forcing him into solitude with the weight of 6 billion lives#but also she's the only person who visits him#and she's the only person who can relate to that burden#SIGH#guess ill have to make the content myself
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Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.
#metalocalypse#jay talkin#I'm sorry they wrote that awful gross little man far too likeable and relatable to on a trans level#for me not to hoot and holler and cheer for the trans pickles agenda#changes nothing about his character arc or any of the show anyone is capable of being the kind of person he is#don't make the mistake of thinking thats exclusive to cis men#his transness wouldnt change that#only adds on an extra layer to him that i think works fantastically.#Listen that dude was rejected by his family driven to drink and drugs young to escape that ran away to be in a band#is called fucking Pickles of all things and refuses to tell anyone his real last name;#over the span of four seasons and two movies he slowly starts to learn to be for others what he never had#he becomes more caring more supportive#it's not a stretch to say he undoes some of the toxic masculinity he's been keeping himself shielded behind#and learns how to be a kinder man.#all of which have no contradictions with him being trans!#In fact it doesn't take much extra thought to find ways a lot of this can line up with some trans masculine experiences#i mean. Did no one else have a younger phase where they swung as far as they could into crass rude and uncaring ways#to try and assert their masculinity only to grow and realise that you can be a man and be more caring.#Did no one else have father issues. 1 800 come on now i know those are both shared experiences a lot of us have had LOL.#at the end of the day this show aired nearly 20 years ago and is finished. we're not getting more of it#so nothing is altered nor changed if pickles is canonically trans or not ok. its fine#i mean hell i dont even need canon confirmation hes trans to me and thats all i care abt#but i think if yr getting suuuuuper weird abt needing him not to be canonically trans you have some issues#and bio essentialist ideals of gender if you think only a cis man can act like he does#again. anyone can be like that. its not exclusive. him being trans would not change him in any way shape or form lol#AND ALSO GODDDUUUGH for once i love getting to see a guy pushing 50 whos depicted as trans#do you have any idea how dire and barren it is out here. we never get to see a trans guy older than 30 and whos not a pristine model#I WANT MORE OLD SHLUBBY SHITHEAD TRANS GUYS IN MEDIA
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i think theyve explored each others bodies
#the fall of the house of usher#fall of the house of usher#house of usher#roderick usher#auguste dupin#you CANNOT tell me otherwise#these two were doomed toxic yaoi from the first minute of the first episode#also while i was watching this i said to myself#i said that voice sounds familiar. i think that is batman#googled the actor he did in fact voice batman in several dc animated projects#if i met bruce wayne in the wild i would clock him IMMEDIETLY with my ability to relate things back to my autistic obsessions
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Started watching a "problem with greek myth retellings" video and it began with a blurb montage like "Condemned by the misogynist guys of history, this is the true girlboss feminist story of [A WOMAN]" and like. brb writing one of those about crown prince rudolf. It's ok he's like a misunderstood girlboss to me<3
#NASJASKSDFKDSLFDGJDFJ#joking. since those retellings seem to be often bad#fun fact i do have ideas for like a black teen comedy series with mary as the protagonist where the ending is like a harrowing twist#like you think it won't go that far but it does and the point is that she had historical agency and her own problems and personal journey#but in the end it spiralled catastrophically due to both crown prince rudolf related events and others#unfortunately writing one would draw the ire of both misogynist rudolf conspiracy theorists (how dare you suggest women have agency) AND a#certain type of feminist media critiquer person: (1) how dare you cover a topic like that flippantly 2) how dare you make rudolf anything#but an inhuman monster of a r*pist murderer gr**mer or whatever in the story#like idk man.. other male characters portrayed as romantic interests in mainstream media are toxic r*pists all the time. like omg i hate ho#'the great' handles p*ter and catherine because i was rooting for them to remain toxic and for catherine to kill him or whatever but then#she starts falling in love with him in s2 and everyone in tumblr is like omg hot sexy toxic romance. like cant we have ONE series where#straight romance doesnt inevitably become the overbearing focus?? i had wlw ships for that show.. they never pulled through...#anyway um yeah. the way i would portray rudolf in that is that mary sees him as this romantic hero which is emphasised in the way its shot#but he's constantly acting in kinda offputting and strange ways and is occasionally pretty pathetic and weird ASHDJFJF#^^ that's never been a deterrent to anyone ever. most rudolf biographers want to [redacted] him this has been proven by the way they write.#the only ones that dont are me (well not a real biographer but a rudolf enjoyer nonetheless) and brigitte hamann /hj#(she actually doesnt salivate over his appearance like frederick morton does xD only quotes 2 contemporary women commenting on it)
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I don’t know why this feels like such a hot take on this site (and in general lately tbh) but like.
I just think that if someone seems to be seeking or hoping for praise for doing the right thing, especially if they aren’t used to doing that right thing, you should praise them.
I really do not care if it “should be the bare minimum.” You want more of that good behavior? You gotta use positive reinforcement.
Punishing someone for doing the right thing just because it’s Basic Good Behavior to you (are you even as consistent as you think?) is a sure fire way to get them to do less of that thing.
Stop being so fucking resentful and start letting people know you appreciate their efforts to do good and be better.
#& don’t twist this to be something it’s not.#any social interaction discussed this way gets stripped of its context#and any form of social relation can be taken to extremes or otherwise weaponized#but in the vast vast majority of cases people just want a social signal that they did well#that they’re on the right track#what’s the harm in praising someone for doing the right thing. ever.#hint there is none. there is no downside to saying hey good job to someone who did in fact do a good job#there are however many potential benefits to doing so#and additionally the cost of not doing so can be very fucking high indeed#(see: pushing someone back towards dangerous/damaging ideologies or mindsets bc humans NEED VALIDATION#and if we try to escape toxic mindsets and ideologies only to be met with invalidation & punishment#well#there is already a whole group of shitheads waiting for me and they’ve got their arms wiiide open ready to comisserate.)
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Do you like HoV/Hua? Dat chokehold…
if you talk about that one CG in chapter 9, that's not even a chokehold she straight up holds her only by her head/hair
and if you crop the image and cut it out of context it looks as if hov was giving fu hua a mighty headpat blessed by the queen of honkai herself
may all the birbs be blessed
#honkai impact#you know. the problem with writing/coming up with ships for hov is the complexity of such relationship#its not about it coming off as 'toxic' or whatever other negative trait of irl(!) relations#its just that hov is in fact a very complex character driven by complex maybe even confusing values and for sure trauma#so no matter how one would execute it every ship with her would more or less contain depression and severe trust issues#on pretty much both sides#its just hard to write a truly heartwarming ship story with her and anyone if you want to keep all the canon experiences and aspects#on a side note. hov spooder
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Whenever I remember ***, I have a lot of thoughts, and one of them is "Wow, some of those posts are stuff that younger me would have probably agreed (but for another character)." And then I think about how younger me would probably hate the fact that I now like akechi.
My other thoughts are "Wow those guys suck."
#adeline.txt#i do think that there are some big differences between me and the mods tho (most obvious being that i don't remember anonymously messaging#numerous accounts and harassing them about how their fav is a rapist)#i mean I was very much toxic with stuff related to the character but i would just post it in my acc or a discord server#not gonna talk about my past feelings about the character bc that would mean that i would talk about my personal life#my only feelings about the character now is “why did the creators put nazi outfits on a character that's meant to be morally grey”#I'm very much glad that i distanced myself from the game tho (not just for me but also the others i've hurt)#i hope that they're currently doing well tho#note: I do think that *** had some good points. unfortunately. But the 2 good points are erased by the fact they unironically said that all#akc fans are abusers (bc obviously calling fans of a character that's an abuse victim abusers while also harassing them is a very not#abusive things to do) or how they made a hateblog to talk about how he's an abuser rapist (I think that they mistook him for his dad) or how#they said that liking him is self harm or how they're like ''well no akc fans tried to prove us wrong so him being an abuser rapist is#basically canon'' <- gets blocked by most akc fans bc the first instinct of anyone that gets told by an anon that their fav character is a#misogynist rapist abuser is to block that person
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I feel like both gender reveals and sex traffiking paranoia (via truecrime) are things that can be directly mapped to increasing as queer/trans visibility increases as well... when parental authority over children's presentation and roles wanes + cis white femininity loses its crown jewel status of desireability and worthiness of protection, crises need to be created to shore up their self-esteem basically; you ARE correct and normal to announce and enforce your will in increasingly ridiculous ways, you ARE so desirable the world warps around you
#obviously also related to how like any individual rejection of gender role is seen as a threat in itself#even/especially within queer/feminist spaces sometimes...#ie the weird panic-mongering about nlog or masc women being inherently toxic vs soft boys and 'men in dresses' also being a danger#anyways lol truck nutz#not to be this is an AtD blog about it but the white slavery reenactment troupe subplot in AtD is also like. about this.#&&! it's also interesting to see cyprian's whole gender/sexuality ambivalence situated at that point#when male homosexuality was shifting from like a fact of certain areas of society TO a threat to family and gender role conformity
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I did not expect to relate to Eurydice like oww
I also did not expect to see so much of my parents in Hades and Persephone tho tbh i should have
Also wow "wait for me" made me cry
Anyways first musical not boot legged woot woot
#personal#i might hyperfixate im still processinf#me the person who Hates above all being unable to help ppl is working a toxic job and living somewhere#theyd Do Anything to escape: Oh yea ill go watch Hadestown 💔✌️💔#no but it was So Good Tho#the fact tjat the actual doom comes from someone I Also relate to#also music saving ppl like thats. tjis is Unfair#time to listen to it nonstop ig
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man i still dont understand why delilah was so hung up on kab like at Most she was a naive the same way a starstruck kid is naive when it comes to meeting their idols and maybe lacking reading comprehension sometimes but delilah had So Much beef with her that i swear she wasnt even trying to throw allegations at zam anymore but to kab instead
#mine.txt#there are certain parts of this situation that dont involve abuse so i dont wanna tag it as tw abuse#i wanna tag it as discourse and initially i did but it felt weird and still feels weird#uhhhhhhhhhh#allegations#zam-delilah allegations#there ya go#will be tagging the other stuff related to this as well#gotta say i know i said this situation is toxic on multiple ends#and i stand by that#but delilah Really doesnt look good#like girl whyd you keep going after kab she was tangentially related At Most only a Tiny amount to this#like i highlighted the pdf while i was reading it and only 60% of the pages was directly related to the allegations#and a lot of that 60% is taken over by screenshots#meanwhile the other 40% is majority text#and at least half of that text is about kab for some reason 😭#the fact that nobody publicly sided with her isnt helping much either#also the guilttrippy stuff at the start???#girl why are you defending yourself from allegations of being emotionally manipulative while being emotionally manipulative 💀
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It's interesting to stroll around Fanlore reading discussions that took place in 2007 talking about the fractured nature of fandom on LJ and people interacting without having enough context (as in commenting on a post they did not read by a user they do not know) when you're living in 2023 and people distribute likes without reading anything or commenting; when there's supposedly "drama" of unknown origins happening in more than one website at the same time because there's no real "home base" for fandom activity anymore; and we're all carrying on with our lives reblogging things without even looking at previous notes and reactions to that same post even if out of simple curiosity...
#what gets me is the lack of discussion. i don't expect anyone to approach things in a more ~intellectual manner no#but i guess i expect a little more than what i see. i'd *like* to see a little more. more than just personal unfounded opinion#idk i have the distinct feeling that we're all screaming into the void only louder and louder and louder#(you will never convince me that twitter is a good place for discussion because it just isn't. it wasn't made for that#it doesn't support it. its very quick structure is part of why so many people have long recognised it as toxic social media)#(it's talking over one another in fragments. if you agree on there all is peachy but if you don't then lol good luck)#anyway. again. i do know tumblr isn't exactly proper for any of this either; the dashboard isn't designed for it#but it's not like i can convince anyone to switch to a slower and more text/reflection-based platform either now can i#i think about migrating every day but then i'd REALLY be screaming into the void#silly blabbering#i'm allowing myself to post this on this blog because it isn't strictly WN related but also it is. i hate twitter fandom lol#(also if you're wondering yes i did read that one for the bakhtin. in this house we love and support bakhtinian studies)#(just in case my last little essay on wn didn't clue you in regarding that lol)#ALSO i love the fact that the post (the actual post. if you click the link and follow through to the original post. which you should)#links to another post that goes to another post (i love these link black holes) where the author voices things i feel too lol#about crafting extensive essays and the expectation regarding their response#i sometimes think that LJ fandom is what made me choose my degree#why am i seeing myself through someone else's words written in 2006 ksjdfhksdjjhksdgjsd#and yeah yeah we should respond to other people too -- but how when no one is writing the sort of thing you want to/can reply to?#i'm not interested in the colour of beatrice's knickers (not that anyone has talked of that... afaik... but you get what i mean)
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ah gosh, so I’ve been following this “drama” involving a fairly big Youtuber, I unfollowed them a while back and incidentally followed former collaborators of theirs, only to watch as this Youtuber I no longer follow implode with some frankly disturbing allegations, with another person coming forward with their version of events that again do not paint this Youtuber very well. Like fuck me, creating ALT ACCOUNTS to harass someone is fucked up. Yeesh. Anyways, if anyone knows who I’m discussing feel free to hit me up because I wanna talk about it.
#fact is friends or coworkers can be incredibly abusive!#the more you know...#I've experienced ~toxic~ friends and was once placed in the middle between two friends falling out in an RP community#in the grand scheme of things this Youtube ~drama~ isn't all that but#a wider discussion on how friends can be abusive or work relations become toxic is a worthy conversation
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"UWU DON'T HOLD ON TO YOUR ANGER IT'S LIKE A POISON UWU"
Nah; I have every right to resent the people that caused me trauma, especially if what they did was that harmful. I'm just (legally) not allowed to act upon it.
#the fact folks will say this in response to marginalised folks who've experienced trauma related to prejudice is just...#therapy#bad therapy#toxic positivity#(also it's a gross misinterpretation of Buddhist philosophy#just saying)
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