#in defense of misandry

[hadesoftheladies]

hate is survival. that's what you don't understand. loving you means hating myself because YOU made it so.

as a child, whenever i watched cinderella or rapunzel, all i thought was "she's beautiful, i love her hair." i used to look at white children with curiosity. wonder. i thought their green, blue eyes were spooky in a cool way and loved the way their hair flopped.

white supremacy made your whiteness political. white supremacy came and said "you're not beautiful, you're not human, if you don't look like that." to love how you looked became inseperable from hating how i looked.

as a baby, whenever my dad held or tickled me, not once did i think "i hope he doesn't destroy me." i adored my little brothers. i viewed my male playmates as my soulmates. if we had spirits, they'd be the same color. we loved the same games, basked in each other's company.

male supremacy made your maleness political and dangerous. male supremacy came and said "sorry about your vagina, but due to its existence, you now deserve rape, less opportunities, no autonomy, and a life of endless toil for a man" male supremacy pointed the gun at my back, and soon it trained my brothers to hold the gun at me in the stead of their ancestors. in order for you to be a man, i had to be a submissive, domestic, sexual object. my humanity emasculated you. male supremacy said "you are now a sexual vessel that will be punished for non-compliance." loving you became inseperable from hating my womanhood and humanity.

as a little girl, when i went to a wedding between a man and a woman, i thought, "the flowers are lovely, i'm glad that they're happy, that they've chosen each other, this is beautiful." when they kissed after saying their vows, i clapped and wished them happiness.

YOU made straightness political and dangerous. your religion and homophobia said, "your love is less, it is actually hate, and we will not allow you to express it." your marriage became something to lord over people like me. to justify the state hunting us down like animals. kissing a girl, holding her, wanting to be with her, became INSEPERABLE from destroying your right to marriage.

IT IS YOU who fear-mongered against me. IT IS YOU who narrowed the many expressions of love and friendship avaialble to humanity. IT IS YOU who destroyed unity. IT IS YOU who said that loving you had to cost me loving myself.

AND TO THAT I SALUTE WITH MY MIDDLE FINGER.

i will hate you and what you stand for. i will allow my disgust and rage at you. i will hold my anger like a teddy bear and kiss it goodnight. because unlike you, it loves me back. because i had once been willing to love you, and it nearly cost me my own self-annihilation. you made me hate myself. you refused to share or mirror the love i was willing to give.

and this hate you feel so threatened by is how i live. it is how i stopped myself from killing myself. from ripping myself to shreds for you. from hiding my breasts, burning my hair, lashing myself for looking at a girl and thinking she was beautiful. it is how i realized the war within myself was caused by the institutions you uphold. that the disquiet in me was never my fault.

the fault of a little girl whose first instinct on beholding the world was to love it.

i choose her this time. she's the one that deserves my love.

[aropride]

i think theres a lot to be said about how marginalized men are oppressed based on both their marginalized identity alone as well as how their manhood and masculinity (or lack of masculinity) interact w it, & there's something to be said for how harmful radical-feminist hating men can be & how harmful anti-masculiity can be, and absolutely none of it is being said by using the word "misandry" and implying men are marginalized systemically based on their manhood alone

[mcmusing]

Previously, on X-Men: The Hypocrisy Games....

OMG, Charles, we're not kids! We inexperienced rubes are totally ready to stop WW3! Ugh, you're always so overprotective!

OMG, Charles, they're just kids! How could you put a heavily trained fighting force in danger?! You have no regard for our safety!

Why do I have to stay covered up during the segregated '60s? The world should worship my blue!

How dare Charles create a world that worships my blue in the integrated '80s-90s? Ew, better cover up.

[babypenguinbird]

This is such a great idea for self defense!!

[aikoiya]

DPxDC Rant - Superman Isn't A Clonophobe

Hey, this is basically just a compilation of all my thoughts in regards to the subject of Clark being a clonophobe & a bad person from @nelkcats & @wolfeyedwitch's posts on the subject.

A lot of this is just retreading old ground, but I realized that I don't have a post of my own on the subject. I thought I did, but I don't. So, this is just me putting it all out there in one spot. I might add onto it later, but right now, this is good enough.

---

I think Supes is a genuinely nice guy & if someone were to actually try & talk to him about it, he could get to a point where he realizes that he was wrong about Kon & be genuinely apologetic.

Like, everyone's so busy demonizing him over the clone thing that a lot of people don't look at the situation from his perspective.

I just... I guess that I see it as victim-blaming. Not that Connor isn't also a victim, but Lex stole Clark's DNA without his permission & used it to create another person who he wanted to use against Superman. That's basically baby-trapping which is a thing that legit happens & it isn't right.

Woman who impregnated self with stolen semen from billionaire wins child support battle (vanguardngr.com)

So, yes! If you're pro-choice, but also think that the man should pay child support even if he never wanted the kid or you think that Supes shouldn't be allowed to say that he doesn't want Connor in his life, then that is both hypocritical, sexist, & misandristic.

At the same time, Supes' situation could also be considered analogous to a rape victim being forced to keep the baby & raise it despite having been so thoroughly traumatized by the experience.

Like, women these days can freely get abortions or give their kids up for adoption when the abortion doesn't work & it's considered brave & even merciful, but when Clark is put in the exact same position & he doesn't want anything to do with Connor, he's a horrible clonophobe?? Yes, it's horrible, but there is a definite double standard there.

Hell, there are even people these days debating if it's moral for a woman to tell the doctors not to aide the baby when the abortion does fail! And in California, a bill was suggested that would make it perfectly legal for a woman to just up & decide to let her child, one alive outside the womb & no longer attached to the mother, to starve to death if she decides she doesn't want to be a mother anymore despite her life in no way being in danger from the child & adoption being an option! It's just... frivolous!!

And that's perfectly fine, apparently!

Yet, a man who doesn't want to be a father is forced to provide child support? There are even situations where a woman knows that the baby isn't his, but tricks him into thinking it is in order to get that sweet, sweet child support.

(4) How common is it for a woman to intentionally get pregnant to trap a man? Do you know anyone this has happened to? - Quora

You can't deny that it happens! Yet, *nasally voice* oh, the man's responsible. He shouldn't have had sex with her if he didn't want a kid. He did that to her! He got her pregnant! Nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh!

*normal voice* Good grief, why the double standards?

If the man is responsible because if he didn't want a baby, he shouldn't have been having sex, then the same is true of women. If they didn't want kids, then they shouldn't have been having sex either! Period!

Like, don't get me wrong, Clark is absolutely wrong for the way he treated Connor, but it's still understandable why he reacted that way. He was hurt!

Again, it's by no means a good reason to act that way, but it is a reason & an understandable one at that.

Clark is a down home, salt of the earth, good ol' boy & I just think that if the JL had informed Ma & Pa of the situation, then things would've been sorted out much sooner. They'd straighten their boy out quick! And if Clark is still determined to be stubborn & hard-headed about it, then if nothing else, I can see Ma & Pa taking Connor in & giving him all the love he deserves.

To me, this is the Superman I know:

And this is why I think that people are too hard on Supes:

All-in-all, I don't think that he'd be opposed to all clones. Rather, I feel like he has a problem with Kon, specifically, for a very misguided reason.

Besides, Danny has no room to criticize because even though he reacted differently to the revelation of Dani's existence, he is also canonically known to misplace his aggressions. It's even made into a joke in the show. Like, they verbally address it!

One such instance is in the Fright Before Christmas episode where he says that he hates Christmas, but by seeing his reasoning, you realize that it isn't actually Christmas itself that he's angry at, but his parents who argue constantly during Christmas & allow said arguing to ruin the Christmases of those around them.

And, you can pretend that this wasn't a situation of misplaced aggression, but keep in mind that he went to the Ghost Zone to destroy a bunch of Christmas items to take out his aggression on the holiday even though it's just the background for the source of his anger. Then, upon learning that the book he'd destroyed was a Christmas one, his apology turned to satisfaction! He also said so himself!

That's a form of misplaced aggression.

Displaced aggression is defined as "occurs when an animal or human is fearful or agitated by external stimuli, a provocation, or perception, but is unable or unwilling to direct their aggression toward the stimulus. The aggressor may direct aggression toward whoever is nearest." That's exactly what's happening here!

I theorize that he subconsciously feels like it's preferable to hate Christmas than to actually confront his parents' negligence & be angry at them.

Keep in mind, he never blames his parents for their unsafe practices that lead to him half dying.

Danny points his frustrations towards those who aren't at fault all the time. Maybe not in the case of Dani, but definitely in other situations.

---

Furthermore, I also feel like I have to clarify that I grew up watching Smallville, which is sort of a prequel to the Superman saga.

And, in it, (spoiler warning) for a lot of the earlier seasons, Clark & Lex are friends. Like, legit good friends.

So, that probably colors my perspective as, from my point of view, being betrayed so severely by someone who was once your friend hurts a whole hell of a lot worse than someone who's always been your enemy. Especially when you've got as big of a heart with as much love in it as Clark. When you love so freely, it's easy to get hurt & in a lot of ways, it hurts worse when those you trust most betray you.

Also, Smallville? Fun show, ya'll should totally check it out.

Now, anyway, I admit that this probably isn't the case with most iterations of Superman, but I can't help that this was one of my primary sources on the characters' personalities growing up & as a result, I do tend to operate under the assumption that this is his backstory.

Because of this, I might be a little biased & in some way think that Clark might've been experiencing that betrayal by Lex all over again &, to be fair, knowing that he hurt Supes so bad, even if it's only on an emotional level, would absolutely thrill Lex & Clark probably knows that.

Like, I wouldn't be surprised if Clark had mostly gotten over the betrayal, but then this shit happens & it's like the wound is fresh all over again.

So, in this situation, Clark has nowhere to really put all that anger than on Connor, which is wrong, but also understandable.

Because, he can't even let Lex know he's upset because it'd just make the other man happy. Why would Superman give him that satisfaction? In other words, he can't really hurt Lex beyond some annoyance which sucks.

On the other hand, Danny & Vlad were never friends, the millionaire's dumbass monologue about killing Jack & marrying Maddie nipped that prospect in the bud in the literal first episode that he appeared in. So discovering that the guy cloned him didn't hurt Danny practically at all other than the violation itself because he'd already dismissed Vlad as a creepy frootloop.

Meanwhile, from the very start, Vlad wanted Danny as his son, so in some form or fashion, he does care & place value on him. It might be a selfish sort of value, but it is value nonetheless. He obviously has zero idea how to show that care & when he tries, it comes out very toxic & harmful, but he does care. Thus, when Danny rejects him, it hurts. And, somewhere, Danny probably knows this.

Which is why he's free to point his anger at Vlad rather than Dani. To point all that anger & frustration at exactly the person that was responsible. Clark doesn't get to do that. At least, not to the extent that he probably wants to.

Whereas in the case of the Christmas debacle, Danny doesn't want to hate his parents, so he finds it easier to take that frustration out on Christmas because Christmas has never made him happy & won't have the same emotional fallout to it that confronting the fact that his parents are selfish & self-absorbed & negligent would.

Because of this, having Danny lecture Superman on not misplacing his anger actually makes him come across as a bit of a hypocrite & it isn't fair because I have yet to see this point brought up in fics. Instead, Danny is portrayed as completely in the right! Like, it'd be one thing if their version of Danny had grown out of displacing his anger & was even trying to actually move on from it.

Hell, they could even make it so Danny is lecturing Supes from the perspective of someone who used to do it himself & is working on getting better at it. But they don't & instead protray him as holier than thou.

At the end of the day, I just don't think that a lot of fic writers, at least, none of the ones I've read about, give the situation the nuance it deserves, instead going the easy route & turning Superman into an irredeemable asshole when he really isn't. Not usually anyway.

In this situation, yeah, he was kinda a dick, but there's a reason & I feel like people either ignore that fact completely or just say "not good enough."

Hell, they don't even take into account the fact that even in Young Justice, where he's an ass, he doesn't stay that way! He eventually accepts Connor, so why harp on him about it!?

Edit: Someone seemed to be under the impression that I thought Superman had it worse. To the contrary, he has it way better.

This isn't a victim contest, it's about understanding why the characters might've reacted the way they did & that has nothing to do with who has it worse.

You don't have to have a bad life to react badly to things. It's all in how you process information & experiences.

Clark just processed the situation in a very bad way in this particular instance.

The point was to show how the 2 aren't all that different. I can easily see the 2's reactions being switched in the right circumstances.

The thing is, I don't understand why not knowing that Connor was also genetically created from Lex would somehow stop Superman from reacting the way he did towards Connor because didn't he know that he himself was Connor's genetic template from pretty much the beginning?

Plenty of people react badly to having a kid regardless of who the other parent was.

DP Character HC Masterlist

[sojutrait]

we have to end the art bro epidemic.

[countingprimes]

sometimes i see queer people make low hanging anti straight jokes, and they'll often pre-defend themselves by saying straight people don't need defending as if the queer community isn't populated by tons of straight people, straight trans people, straight ace people, straight poly people. queerness doesnt exclude exclusively opposite sex attracted people and it bothers me to see these jokes and their subsequent defenses because normative society certainly rejects these folks because of their queerness and now you are inside the queer community rejecting them for who they desire. i think about straight trans folks the most who are out here under fire from normative society who turn to the queer community for support only to be inundated with sentiments like straight people are actually the real lesser than folks, and it's easy enough to say straightness is valorized in normative society so shitting on straight people is punching up, but i can't help but be keenly aware that the queer straight people tend to be queer in the ways which are often excluded from queer community. so actually yeah i do think straight people need our protection, not heteronormative culture, but individual people? yeah. the "coming out as straight" jokes are all haha good times fuck the straights until you think about the fact that straight trans people when they come out are functionally doing that. after all how many straight trans people used to think they were cis gay people. and we, inside the queer community, turn their experiences into a mean spirited punch line designed to reject them from queer community.

like sorry i just don't think we are gonna find queer liberation by trying to figure out which group we are allowed to make fun of for having the wrong sexuality.

[lilyliveredlittlerichboy]

me: men are suffering from patriarchy too and deserve to be protected

sillygirl.txt in my notes: >:( no they've hurt me personally

me: ok but not every man has hurt you and not every man will. some men are good and nice

sillygirl.txt: ok but where are they

me: everywhere! heres some examples of nice men in my life

sillygirl.txt: >:( i bet they all watch evil porn

....... im starting to see why you might not be meeting many nice people. completely regardless of gender lmfao

[fluffylandshark]

Heilige Scheiße das ist ja so was von sexistisch. Warum machen diese Flachwichser nicht gleich ein Schild auf dem "Keine Männer erlaubt" steht und nageln es an ihre Tür.

Denken diese Arschgeigen etwa, dass Männer keine Safe Spaces brauchen? Es gibt über 400 Frauenhäuser in Deutschland, Männerhäuser schaffen es gerade so noch in die zweistelligen Zahlen. Es ist ja schön dass so viele Leute Zufluchtsorte und Safe Spaces kriegen (ehrlich, super klasse dass Leute überhaupt Safe Spaces kriegen). Aber wann zum DONNERWETTER kriegen Männer mal nen Ort wo wir sicher sein können? Basierend auf den offiziellen Zahlen sind nämlich circa 1 von 5 Opfern häuslicher Gewalt hier in Deutschland Männer. Die Dunkelziffer wird auf ein Drittel geschätzt.

My queers, we really need to put the "no men" thing away. Men are not inherently bad. There are queer men. There are questioning men. There's men that are just plain cool. Denying these men a space at our table is not helping - except the TERFs. I just came off the back of reading a transphobe gleeful rant about the need to have pride without men - They of course mean me. This kind of stuff is damaging to me and I really need us all to take a step back and maybe kill this "men dni, men not allowed" stuff. What you mean is "no men who are going to do mean stuff to me." And frankly those men won't give a shit about that kind of boundary.

But I promise you there's a fleet of good honest men who will see that and be sad they're not allowed in your version of queer spaces.

PATRIARCHY is what you hate. Dni Patriarchs.

[unhingedfemmecontent]

here is a life hack i have learned for if you get harassed in public a lot.

(for example i get catcalled and hit on by men a lot just when i am out especially at night. the majority of them i can either ignore and they will stop or are fine with hearing no)

BUT this works especially if you are in an unsafe area or know you are going to be alone somewhere especially at night.

buy a cheap engagement / wedding ring on amazing. they can be so cheap im talking like 5-15 dollars.

this obviously won’t stop them from talking to always to you but men (in my experience respond so much better to this)

here are some things i say

“no i’m married”

“my husband is waiting in the car”

or you just show them the ring the sometimes works too.

(i obviously don’t wear it all the time but if i know i’m going to be alone or somewhere where i am not super safe it has saved me so many times) ESPECIALLY IN CABS AND UBERS

[howifeltabouthim]

Honestly, sometimes I think it's the only recourse. Killing men in times like these.

Lisa Taddeo, from Animal

[shouts-into-the-void]

Just read screenshots of the Aaron extra chapter and I have so many thoughts, so here they are:

It's always so funny to me to be reminded of the fact that the animosity between Aaron and Neil is mostly one-sided. Like, Neil finds Aaron frustrating, but all the antagonistic stuff he does to him is ultimately in service of helping him in some way and while he's angry when Aaron provokes him, he otherwise regards him with disinterest and even expresses the desire to see what he's like when he's relaxed and enjoying himself during the party with the Vixens. Meanwhile Aaron just really hates that man.

I really appreciated Nora using this chapter to clear up some of the gripes a lot of the fandom has had with Aaron's character in the past and confirm that Aaron's comments to Nicky have to do with his cousin making graphic and unwanted sexual advances on their teammates, and his accusations towards Neil were from a place of concern for his brother. I also liked that it was pointed out that of course he would have at least some internalized homophobia due to being raised by religious zealots in a conservative area, but is unlearning it due to Nicky.

On a similar note, I'm glad that we were provided the context that Nicky's inappropriate behavior is a defense mechanism to weed out people who might hurt him rather than legitimate advances, because I think the fandom tends to forget that he is also a character with extreme trauma written outside of the "perfect victim" stereotype. His actions aren't okay, but the entire point is that they are the result of what he's had to endure just like every other member of the team

The implication that Andrew specifically signed with the Foxes so Aaron could go to college

Aaron and Andrew have the same nervous habit of picking at loose thread

It causes me physical pain to see Andrew clearly trying to open up to Aaron about his self-harm, but because his way of communicating is less straightforward (he doesn't lie, but he because he stuggles to confront and be open with his emotions, he presents the truth in flowery, vague language) and because the two dont really know or understand each other, Aaron can't fully grasp the implications of what he's saying

On the subject of things that cause me physical pain: baby Aaron telling his mom that he wanted to be a neurosurgeon like the people on TV and her laughing and saying he'd never make anything of himself. Fuck Tilda Minyard, all my homies hate Tilda.

Andrew is so uncomfortable, someone Get Him Out of There.

Going off that and his nervous habits (that Aaron mentions he did often enough to be noticable as a habit premedication), I am highkey wondering if the reason Sober Andrew doesn't talk to anyone outside Neil is because he's just. Socially Awkward.

We get a little bit of insight into Andrew's "misogyny" (I personally think distrusting certain people as a result of extreme personal trauma is a little bit different than just being sexist, in the same way women distrusting men because they're used to being harassed and belittled isn't misandry, but that's up to your personal opinion) and that his distain for Katelyn comes from the fact that he thinks she's stringing Aaron along and will turn out to be awful like his previous girlfriends (there's also a notable implication that Aaron has the same self-destructive tendencies as Andrew, and may be why he went out of his way to get him into college and on the straight-and-narrow) also see that this extends to Bee as well despite their close relationship, with him being so afraid that she'd reject him for being gay that he can't even look at her while talking about Neil, probably made worse by the fact that she's a maternal figure for him, which is where this trauma response originates.

Aaron is the only person on the team who's aware that Andrew hasn't slept with Neil, and the only one to grasp the significance of the fact that they've gotten close to that point already despite Andrew's trauma, outside of Renee

It was overall really interesting to see inside Aaron's head (I actually wouldn't mind a book from his perspective, he has a similar way of thinking to Neil but much more grounded) and to see Andrew through the lense of someone who just views him as Just A Guy

[mcmusing]

Lovely. Instead of sleeping, my head is in the bad place. Charles' Angels? A little help, please!

[aikoiya]

^^^^

THIS!! Correct!

me: I should really confront my issues and stop feeling so nervous at the thought of talking to women. I mean it's not like they see me as a violent monster *"Bear vs. Man" happens* me: Oh. Guess I'll go back into my cave then

[aikoiya]

Did you know that it's actually a felony if a man doesn't register for the selective service?

For them to have the right to vote, they have to be subject to the draft.

Women get to vote & don't have to worry about that.

Where's the patriarchy in that?

[nyaagolor]

How do you rank the prosecutors on order of homophobia

forgot about this in my drafts for literally months oops. Anyway. Finished now!!!!

So I made this post a while ago that has some of the prosecutors and antagonists, but if you want a ranking of EVERY prosecutor (not including DGS bc i haven't finished yet) huzzah!!

Simon Blackquill: Not actually homophobic but he gets points docked for siccing Taka (known homophobe) at Klavier (known bisexual) for stealing his pretzels from the office pantry that one time. 3/10

Blaise Debeste: I think he's gay but he made me look at that ugly ass beard for far too long and I consider that disrespectful. out of principle? 8/10

Sebastian Debeste: Just look at him. 0/10

Miles Edgeworth: Bratworth was simultaneously gay, homophobic, and a misogynist, and eventually develops into a man who is only like 1.5 of those things. he's getting better. 5/10

Byrne Faraday: I don't really think he cares much about gay people he's busy being a single father and stealing shit. For the apathy? 2/10

Klavier Gavin: He's extremely gay and does a lot of work for the gay community but making Ema Skye deal with him is explicitly lesbophobic so 4/10

Godot: He has a lovely wife but whatever he was doing with Ron DeLite was probably not osha-compliant. I don't know what that means for his sexuality or stance on gay people and neither does he. ?/10

Ga'ran: I think she has a lot of other problems she should deal with first but considered she's bigoted to defense attorneys I don't think her being homophobic would be that out of pocket. Not sure I want to find out. 7/10

Neil Marshall: Have you ever been a gay bar? This guy would do NUMBERS. Also, real cowboys support gay rights. 0/10

Gaspen Payne: Being homophobic is actually why he got fired by the prosecutor's office and Winston is really fucking embarrassed about it. 10/10

Winston Payne: You'd think he'd be homophobic but you can't work for the Japanifornia Prosecutor's Office and hate gay people or you would actually go insane. He's like that one suburban guy who uses terms from the 60s but has the spirit. However, his ally lapel pin is really ugly so 3/10

Jaques Portman: He was calling Edgeworth slurs even before realizing he was gay. 9/10

Lana Skye: Dated Mia in college but refused to explain that to Ema because she has a lot of internalized homophobia and other weird issues of self. Repressed yuri personified. 1/10

Nahyuta Sahdmadhi: He supports gay people but gets all his talking points from the internet so even though he's supportive he's also incredibly fucking annoying about it and no one wants to invite him to brunch because of it. Stop using twitter for fact-checking you jackass. 2/10

Franziska Von Karma: Despite the fact that her lesbianism is so strong it borders on misandry, I think she has a lot of internalized homophobia so she spends the first 25 years of her life being a judgmental little shit. She'll get better dw about it. I believe she can bring that number down with time. 6/10

Manfred Von Karma: I think when he finds out Edgeworth is gay he starts going to gay bars and picking up dudes just to show Edgeworth he has way more rizz than him. Considering how people in my notes have told me on numerous occasions how much they want him carnally, I think he could actually pull it off. In that respect I think he's done a lot for the gay community. It ends up cancelling out somewhat because I think he'd be kind of an ass about it. 4/10