#in defense of misandry

[hadesoftheladies]

hate is survival. that's what you don't understand. loving you means hating myself because YOU made it so.

as a child, whenever i watched cinderella or rapunzel, all i thought was "she's beautiful, i love her hair." i used to look at white children with curiosity. wonder. i thought their green, blue eyes were spooky in a cool way and loved the way their hair flopped.

white supremacy made your whiteness political. white supremacy came and said "you're not beautiful, you're not human, if you don't look like that." to love how you looked became inseperable from hating how i looked.

as a baby, whenever my dad held or tickled me, not once did i think "i hope he doesn't destroy me." i adored my little brothers. i viewed my male playmates as my soulmates. if we had spirits, they'd be the same color. we loved the same games, basked in each other's company.

male supremacy made your maleness political and dangerous. male supremacy came and said "sorry about your vagina, but due to its existence, you now deserve rape, less opportunities, no autonomy, and a life of endless toil for a man" male supremacy pointed the gun at my back, and soon it trained my brothers to hold the gun at me in the stead of their ancestors. in order for you to be a man, i had to be a submissive, domestic, sexual object. my humanity emasculated you. male supremacy said "you are now a sexual vessel that will be punished for non-compliance." loving you became inseperable from hating my womanhood and humanity.

as a little girl, when i went to a wedding between a man and a woman, i thought, "the flowers are lovely, i'm glad that they're happy, that they've chosen each other, this is beautiful." when they kissed after saying their vows, i clapped and wished them happiness.

YOU made straightness political and dangerous. your religion and homophobia said, "your love is less, it is actually hate, and we will not allow you to express it." your marriage became something to lord over people like me. to justify the state hunting us down like animals. kissing a girl, holding her, wanting to be with her, became INSEPERABLE from destroying your right to marriage.

IT IS YOU who fear-mongered against me. IT IS YOU who narrowed the many expressions of love and friendship avaialble to humanity. IT IS YOU who destroyed unity. IT IS YOU who said that loving you had to cost me loving myself.

AND TO THAT I SALUTE WITH MY MIDDLE FINGER.

i will hate you and what you stand for. i will allow my disgust and rage at you. i will hold my anger like a teddy bear and kiss it goodnight. because unlike you, it loves me back. because i had once been willing to love you, and it nearly cost me my own self-annihilation. you made me hate myself. you refused to share or mirror the love i was willing to give.

and this hate you feel so threatened by is how i live. it is how i stopped myself from killing myself. from ripping myself to shreds for you. from hiding my breasts, burning my hair, lashing myself for looking at a girl and thinking she was beautiful. it is how i realized the war within myself was caused by the institutions you uphold. that the disquiet in me was never my fault.

the fault of a little girl whose first instinct on beholding the world was to love it.

i choose her this time. she's the one that deserves my love.

[babypenguinbird]

This is such a great idea for self defense!!

[lapdogchase]

i think theres a lot to be said about how marginalized men are oppressed based on both their marginalized identity alone as well as how their manhood and masculinity (or lack of masculinity) interact w it, & there's something to be said for how harmful radical-feminist hating men can be & how harmful anti-masculiity can be, and absolutely none of it is being said by using the word "misandry" and implying men are marginalized systemically based on their manhood alone

[mcmusing]

Previously, on X-Men: The Hypocrisy Games....

OMG, Charles, we're not kids! We inexperienced rubes are totally ready to stop WW3! Ugh, you're always so overprotective!

OMG, Charles, they're just kids! How could you put a heavily trained fighting force in danger?! You have no regard for our safety!

Why do I have to stay covered up during the segregated '60s? The world should worship my blue!

How dare Charles create a world that worships my blue in the integrated '80s-90s? Ew, better cover up.

[sojutrait]

we have to end the art bro epidemic.

[countingprimes]

sometimes i see queer people make low hanging anti straight jokes, and they'll often pre-defend themselves by saying straight people don't need defending as if the queer community isn't populated by tons of straight people, straight trans people, straight ace people, straight poly people. queerness doesnt exclude exclusively opposite sex attracted people and it bothers me to see these jokes and their subsequent defenses because normative society certainly rejects these folks because of their queerness and now you are inside the queer community rejecting them for who they desire. i think about straight trans folks the most who are out here under fire from normative society who turn to the queer community for support only to be inundated with sentiments like straight people are actually the real lesser than folks, and it's easy enough to say straightness is valorized in normative society so shitting on straight people is punching up, but i can't help but be keenly aware that the queer straight people tend to be queer in the ways which are often excluded from queer community. so actually yeah i do think straight people need our protection, not heteronormative culture, but individual people? yeah. the "coming out as straight" jokes are all haha good times fuck the straights until you think about the fact that straight trans people when they come out are functionally doing that. after all how many straight trans people used to think they were cis gay people. and we, inside the queer community, turn their experiences into a mean spirited punch line designed to reject them from queer community.

like sorry i just don't think we are gonna find queer liberation by trying to figure out which group we are allowed to make fun of for having the wrong sexuality.

[lilyliveredlittlerichboy]

me: men are suffering from patriarchy too and deserve to be protected

sillygirl.txt in my notes: >:( no they've hurt me personally

me: ok but not every man has hurt you and not every man will. some men are good and nice

sillygirl.txt: ok but where are they

me: everywhere! heres some examples of nice men in my life

sillygirl.txt: >:( i bet they all watch evil porn

....... im starting to see why you might not be meeting many nice people. completely regardless of gender lmfao

[aikoiya]

Did you know that it's actually a felony if a man doesn't register for the selective service?

For them to have the right to vote, they have to be subject to the draft.

Women get to vote & don't have to worry about that.

Where's the patriarchy in that?

[fluffylandshark]

Heilige Scheiße das ist ja so was von sexistisch. Warum machen diese Flachwichser nicht gleich ein Schild auf dem "Keine Männer erlaubt" steht und nageln es an ihre Tür.

Denken diese Arschgeigen etwa, dass Männer keine Safe Spaces brauchen? Es gibt über 400 Frauenhäuser in Deutschland, Männerhäuser schaffen es gerade so noch in die zweistelligen Zahlen. Es ist ja schön dass so viele Leute Zufluchtsorte und Safe Spaces kriegen (ehrlich, super klasse dass Leute überhaupt Safe Spaces kriegen). Aber wann zum DONNERWETTER kriegen Männer mal nen Ort wo wir sicher sein können? Basierend auf den offiziellen Zahlen sind nämlich circa 1 von 5 Opfern häuslicher Gewalt hier in Deutschland Männer. Die Dunkelziffer wird auf ein Drittel geschätzt.

My queers, we really need to put the "no men" thing away. Men are not inherently bad. There are queer men. There are questioning men. There's men that are just plain cool. Denying these men a space at our table is not helping - except the TERFs. I just came off the back of reading a transphobe gleeful rant about the need to have pride without men - They of course mean me. This kind of stuff is damaging to me and I really need us all to take a step back and maybe kill this "men dni, men not allowed" stuff. What you mean is "no men who are going to do mean stuff to me." And frankly those men won't give a shit about that kind of boundary.

But I promise you there's a fleet of good honest men who will see that and be sad they're not allowed in your version of queer spaces.

PATRIARCHY is what you hate. Dni Patriarchs.

[unhingedfemmecontent]

here is a life hack i have learned for if you get harassed in public a lot.

(for example i get catcalled and hit on by men a lot just when i am out especially at night. the majority of them i can either ignore and they will stop or are fine with hearing no)

BUT this works especially if you are in an unsafe area or know you are going to be alone somewhere especially at night.

buy a cheap engagement / wedding ring on amazing. they can be so cheap im talking like 5-15 dollars.

this obviously won’t stop them from talking to always to you but men (in my experience respond so much better to this)

here are some things i say

“no i’m married”

“my husband is waiting in the car”

or you just show them the ring the sometimes works too.

(i obviously don’t wear it all the time but if i know i’m going to be alone or somewhere where i am not super safe it has saved me so many times) ESPECIALLY IN CABS AND UBERS

[howifeltabouthim]

Honestly, sometimes I think it's the only recourse. Killing men in times like these.

Lisa Taddeo, from Animal

[mcmusing]

Lovely. Instead of sleeping, my head is in the bad place. Charles' Angels? A little help, please!

[terrific-togekiss]

Kind of funny how often that happens.

"We need to make sure everyone is treated fairly!"

"Treat men like humans."

https://www.tumblr.com/damnfandomproblems/768886899447382016/6569-the-conversation-has-shifted-a-bit-away-from?source=share

Most people are well aware those always had male fans. The other issue that is being ignored, is how many act like women were NEVER apart of those fandoms, blame men for that "logical" conclusion and each fanbase now has a duty to kick out men to make way for fandom women.

And many of those same people who are all like "excluding certain fans are okay!" get so worked up whenever preexisting fandom women say there didn't need to be any change and bullying men is not a good thing. All this bullying will never be justifiable.

And who is mostly screaming at fandom women who were already there for years? Accusing them of internalized misogyny for disagreeing?

Other women.

How ironic.

It's astounding how many people claim they care about equality yet they can't handle something as simple as "be nice to men".

Posting as a response to a previous ask.

[shouts-into-the-void]

Just read screenshots of the Aaron extra chapter and I have so many thoughts, so here they are:

It's always so funny to me to be reminded of the fact that the animosity between Aaron and Neil is mostly one-sided. Like, Neil finds Aaron frustrating, but all the antagonistic stuff he does to him is ultimately in service of helping him in some way and while he's angry when Aaron provokes him, he otherwise regards him with disinterest and even expresses the desire to see what he's like when he's relaxed and enjoying himself during the party with the Vixens. Meanwhile Aaron just really hates that man.

I really appreciated Nora using this chapter to clear up some of the gripes a lot of the fandom has had with Aaron's character in the past and confirm that Aaron's comments to Nicky have to do with his cousin making graphic and unwanted sexual advances on their teammates, and his accusations towards Neil were from a place of concern for his brother. I also liked that it was pointed out that of course he would have at least some internalized homophobia due to being raised by religious zealots in a conservative area, but is unlearning it due to Nicky.

On a similar note, I'm glad that we were provided the context that Nicky's inappropriate behavior is a defense mechanism to weed out people who might hurt him rather than legitimate advances, because I think the fandom tends to forget that he is also a character with extreme trauma written outside of the "perfect victim" stereotype. His actions aren't okay, but the entire point is that they are the result of what he's had to endure just like every other member of the team

The implication that Andrew specifically signed with the Foxes so Aaron could go to college

Aaron and Andrew have the same nervous habit of picking at loose thread

It causes me physical pain to see Andrew clearly trying to open up to Aaron about his self-harm, but because his way of communicating is less straightforward (he doesn't lie, but he because he stuggles to confront and be open with his emotions, he presents the truth in flowery, vague language) and because the two dont really know or understand each other, Aaron can't fully grasp the implications of what he's saying

On the subject of things that cause me physical pain: baby Aaron telling his mom that he wanted to be a neurosurgeon like the people on TV and her laughing and saying he'd never make anything of himself. Fuck Tilda Minyard, all my homies hate Tilda.

Andrew is so uncomfortable, someone Get Him Out of There.

Going off that and his nervous habits (that Aaron mentions he did often enough to be noticable as a habit premedication), I am highkey wondering if the reason Sober Andrew doesn't talk to anyone outside Neil is because he's just. Socially Awkward.

We get a little bit of insight into Andrew's "misogyny" (I personally think distrusting certain people as a result of extreme personal trauma is a little bit different than just being sexist, in the same way women distrusting men because they're used to being harassed and belittled isn't misandry, but that's up to your personal opinion) and that his distain for Katelyn comes from the fact that he thinks she's stringing Aaron along and will turn out to be awful like his previous girlfriends (there's also a notable implication that Aaron has the same self-destructive tendencies as Andrew, and may be why he went out of his way to get him into college and on the straight-and-narrow) also see that this extends to Bee as well despite their close relationship, with him being so afraid that she'd reject him for being gay that he can't even look at her while talking about Neil, probably made worse by the fact that she's a maternal figure for him, which is where this trauma response originates.

Aaron is the only person on the team who's aware that Andrew hasn't slept with Neil, and the only one to grasp the significance of the fact that they've gotten close to that point already despite Andrew's trauma, outside of Renee

It was overall really interesting to see inside Aaron's head (I actually wouldn't mind a book from his perspective, he has a similar way of thinking to Neil but much more grounded) and to see Andrew through the lense of someone who just views him as Just A Guy

[nyaagolor]

How do you rank the prosecutors on order of homophobia

forgot about this in my drafts for literally months oops. Anyway. Finished now!!!!

So I made this post a while ago that has some of the prosecutors and antagonists, but if you want a ranking of EVERY prosecutor (not including DGS bc i haven't finished yet) huzzah!!

Simon Blackquill: Not actually homophobic but he gets points docked for siccing Taka (known homophobe) at Klavier (known bisexual) for stealing his pretzels from the office pantry that one time. 3/10

Blaise Debeste: I think he's gay but he made me look at that ugly ass beard for far too long and I consider that disrespectful. out of principle? 8/10

Sebastian Debeste: Just look at him. 0/10

Miles Edgeworth: Bratworth was simultaneously gay, homophobic, and a misogynist, and eventually develops into a man who is only like 1.5 of those things. he's getting better. 5/10

Byrne Faraday: I don't really think he cares much about gay people he's busy being a single father and stealing shit. For the apathy? 2/10

Klavier Gavin: He's extremely gay and does a lot of work for the gay community but making Ema Skye deal with him is explicitly lesbophobic so 4/10

Godot: He has a lovely wife but whatever he was doing with Ron DeLite was probably not osha-compliant. I don't know what that means for his sexuality or stance on gay people and neither does he. ?/10

Ga'ran: I think she has a lot of other problems she should deal with first but considered she's bigoted to defense attorneys I don't think her being homophobic would be that out of pocket. Not sure I want to find out. 7/10

Neil Marshall: Have you ever been a gay bar? This guy would do NUMBERS. Also, real cowboys support gay rights. 0/10

Gaspen Payne: Being homophobic is actually why he got fired by the prosecutor's office and Winston is really fucking embarrassed about it. 10/10

Winston Payne: You'd think he'd be homophobic but you can't work for the Japanifornia Prosecutor's Office and hate gay people or you would actually go insane. He's like that one suburban guy who uses terms from the 60s but has the spirit. However, his ally lapel pin is really ugly so 3/10

Jaques Portman: He was calling Edgeworth slurs even before realizing he was gay. 9/10

Lana Skye: Dated Mia in college but refused to explain that to Ema because she has a lot of internalized homophobia and other weird issues of self. Repressed yuri personified. 1/10

Nahyuta Sahdmadhi: He supports gay people but gets all his talking points from the internet so even though he's supportive he's also incredibly fucking annoying about it and no one wants to invite him to brunch because of it. Stop using twitter for fact-checking you jackass. 2/10

Franziska Von Karma: Despite the fact that her lesbianism is so strong it borders on misandry, I think she has a lot of internalized homophobia so she spends the first 25 years of her life being a judgmental little shit. She'll get better dw about it. I believe she can bring that number down with time. 6/10

Manfred Von Karma: I think when he finds out Edgeworth is gay he starts going to gay bars and picking up dudes just to show Edgeworth he has way more rizz than him. Considering how people in my notes have told me on numerous occasions how much they want him carnally, I think he could actually pull it off. In that respect I think he's done a lot for the gay community. It ends up cancelling out somewhat because I think he'd be kind of an ass about it. 4/10

[aikoiya]

^^^^

THIS!! Correct!

me: I should really confront my issues and stop feeling so nervous at the thought of talking to women. I mean it's not like they see me as a violent monster *"Bear vs. Man" happens* me: Oh. Guess I'll go back into my cave then