#“participation of men in fandoms is encouraged!” then they turn around and say junk like this

[terrific-togekiss]

- How logical...

- Plenty do. It's even funnier when it's from the mouth of someone who doesn't want their stereotypes proven wrong because they have nothing else left.

- There's some real disgusting, twisted logic here that every kind or decent male character in fiction is some kind of not-so secret commentary on irl men. And any comment from fans or writers that they are based on/remind them of irl men they know is a lie. Like good lord, have some kindness and understand how many self-esteems you're hurting. "Only fictional men deserve good things!" is so rude and insane.

- Logic at its finest.

Fandom Problem #5754:

I HAAAATE how so much man-hate has eroded a majority of fandoms and writers.

"This romance is unrealistic because no man alive is this loving and kind!"

"No man ever romanticizes about meeting the kinds of women they read about in fiction!"

"Why can't more men be more like (insert fictional man here)!?"

"No one should ship this because shipping a female character with a man is inherently abusive!"

I also hate how men (not just in fandoms) are just expected to take the brunt of all of this stereotyping and hatred.

Pleeeeease.

Go. Out. Side.

[terrific-togekiss]

So many hate mistreating others until they're the ones doing it.

you know what? normalize ruthlessly mocking men’s interests completely unprovoked the same way they’ve spent years mocking pumpkin spice lattes and pop music and animal crossing and the sims and every other completely harmless thing women often enjoy. I Love Revenge

[terrific-togekiss]

That or "Only women are allowed to do this/like this!" because it's okay or "different" when a woman does it but a man is just too gross. -_-

"Adult men in fandom aren’t creepy, either."

I don't know how major or minor this addition is to you, but I sincerely thank you for making it. It's always confused me when online spaces just assume fanboys or men in fandoms are universally accepted with no hesitation... because they're not. And I'm not just talking from personal experience.

Bad takes on a popular (female) character? Blame men!

Loads of "sexy" fanart of a female character? Blame men!

In addition, "only women can like this her!" and "only women love her for who she is!"

Lots of men like (insert series here)? That must mean it sucks!

If a man likes (insert series here); run!

Modern movie or series bombs? Blame men!

Also, many people just letting stories of men in fandoms being bullied for their interests off the hook. "Men can handle it! Now they know what it feels like!"

I'd bring up bronies or "girly" interests, but that can of worms may go over the words count in this ask.

But seriously, thank you. It's nice to feel seen and heard for once.

Anyone looking to gatekeep adults out of fandom would surely not accept adult men. If they only explicitly target women, it’s because they never seriously considered that men might like the subject matter. Likely because they’re too young to understand.

They’re no different from those who seek to gatekeep men out of something that they claim to be making more accessible to women, while they also attack the women in the fandom who also hate the changes going on.

Everyone’s trying to exclude someone. Those who currently claim to exclude only on the basis of virtue seem to have some curiously “bioessentialist” ideas about virtue.

Possibly because it’s much easier to be self-righteous on the basis of your immutable characteristics than on the basis of how well you actually love or even tolerate other people.

Learning how to live with people who disagree with you is HARD and unpleasant, and God Forbid you need to actually tolerate anything.

[terrific-togekiss]

Important addition: NOW THEY KNOW HOW IT FEELS! Will never be a good thing. Especially when plenty of people are under the impression they have a moral obligation to harm innocent people.

Fandom Problem #5745:

For not wanting to "reinforce toxicity" on men, y'all never hesitate to virgin shame and/or bodyshame male fans for as much as liking a movie or show you didn't like.

You're welcome to hate a series, but there is literally no excuse to do either of those things. Looking for an opportunity to be a bully and harassment towards men is never going to be empowering. It's disgusting.

It just makes you a huge bully and male fans don't deserve to be mistreated on the basis if being male or fanboys. Fandoms should always be inclusive of everyone.

[terrific-togekiss]

Kind of funny how often that happens.

"We need to make sure everyone is treated fairly!"

"Treat men like humans."

https://www.tumblr.com/damnfandomproblems/768886899447382016/6569-the-conversation-has-shifted-a-bit-away-from?source=share

Most people are well aware those always had male fans. The other issue that is being ignored, is how many act like women were NEVER apart of those fandoms, blame men for that "logical" conclusion and each fanbase now has a duty to kick out men to make way for fandom women.

And many of those same people who are all like "excluding certain fans are okay!" get so worked up whenever preexisting fandom women say there didn't need to be any change and bullying men is not a good thing. All this bullying will never be justifiable.

And who is mostly screaming at fandom women who were already there for years? Accusing them of internalized misogyny for disagreeing?

Other women.

How ironic.

It's astounding how many people claim they care about equality yet they can't handle something as simple as "be nice to men".

Posting as a response to a previous ask.

[terrific-togekiss]

I love how most of those notes are going, "submitter... shut. it."

"Fandom men never get involved in the 'oh-so pure and holier than thou' parts of a fandom and only exist to be people you should dedicate all your time to kicking out," will never be a smart take.

It just makes you an idiot, idiot.

"Men are NEVER writing (romantic) fanfics or making ship art or daydreaming about fictional characters/ships! Only women do that!"

Go. Out. Side.

Fandom Problem #4569:

When people believe cishet dudebros are active shippers. Maybe they'll find a ship ok or cool but they're absolutely NOT out there writing romantic fics or making ship art or daydreaming about a fictional relationship. At most, they'll weaponize a m/f ship to use it against a m/m one, and just hate m/m ships in general. But actively shipping? Nope. They rather dedicate their time to "waifus" than ships.

[terrific-togekiss]

In addition. This is just a hobby most people have for escapism & fun. This isn't a sign of morality. Someone's tastes in fiction are rarely a sign of character. Especially men.

Plenty of men are active in these spaces. You just don't hear from us that often because all the stereotyping and (cyber)bullying is so rampant that it turns into background noise. Plus, the whole "Why would ANYONE care about men!? They're! MEN! THEY DESERVE TO DIE THAN WE CAN GET (FANDOM WIDE) PEACE!" Junk, that's almost everywhere. And some people are afraid of losing friends for daring to care.

Though I'm sure some do and are brave enough to. As seen in the notes and rare "dude(ette)... fanbases should be inclusive of everyone," posts or discussions on the internet.

We're just not really given a voice in these discussions. And are well aware of what happens when we dare to say anything. Damned if you; damned if you don't.

Also. No one cares, or rarely ever does, about men in "shipping" spaces unless they need someone to blame. And face no real consequences for said blame.

Hence, all the snide remarks a fanbase makes that men "clearly" only care for (insert m/f pairings here) because they all imagine themselves as the male insert of the said male character in it. And would take advantage of (insert fictional woman here) if she was real. Or already do. As we see in this post with the submitter going "waifus" like they coughed up a rock.

Or that only men care about (insert unpopular or polarizing m/f ship here).

Or men only care about (insert m/f pairing here) because ONLY men romanticize abuse in this "clearly" abusive pairing or some other great evil.

Or they only care about (insert m/f pairing here) to weaponize it against other pairings or harass shippers of other ships, as this post mentioned. Which is funny when much of those same fans view it as abusive to a female character, to put her with a male character.

It's amusing how many fans say you don't need to be a certain identity to care for certain ships, only to not stand by that statement.

This also extends to outside shipping. I can't stand how many bullies (and people in general) in fandoms are so surprised that yes, there are men who are involved in the more "lovey-dovey" parts of a fanbase. Then, have the gall to turn around and act like men shouldn't be angry by all this stereotyping.

There are plenty of men who do write romantic fanfics. And stories in general, as this discourse has ignored men in history and today, because why bother? They're men. Ugh. Or those are the only ones like that while men in general deserve scorn for no reason.

And there are plenty of men daydreaming about fictional women. In a "soft" context for goodness sake. Chances are you don't see that to often because...

A fanbase makes it pretty clear they frown on even the smallest mention of a man talking about or liking (insert fictional woman here).

Or they can't conceptualize men talking about them or making content without thinking of predatory behavior. Go. Out. Side.

Or they only want women talking and looking at them. While men are commonly frowned on and being viewed as one-note creeps.

And people have the audacity to say men are never looked down on or ostracized or mistreated in any fandom spaces. The fact they can say this and that to men (in fandoms) and regard all counterarguments as mindless whining and face no consequences for being this harsh is proof that they're wrong.

As said before. No real voice in these kinds of situations. Just keep to yourself and hope no one notices and starts cyberbullying. It's sad.

Most fanbases just see it as a badge to wear when doing this. And it's disgusting.

Fandom Problem #4569:

When people believe cishet dudebros are active shippers. Maybe they'll find a ship ok or cool but they're absolutely NOT out there writing romantic fics or making ship art or daydreaming about a fictional relationship. At most, they'll weaponize a m/f ship to use it against a m/m one, and just hate m/m ships in general. But actively shipping? Nope. They rather dedicate their time to "waifus" than ships.