#in comparison to everything that wanted to be said

[vicariousresearcher]

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

Johnny who’s slowly making progress. Whose tremors in his hands are relaxing. Who’s starting to be able to order food in public again without his stutter doubling over itself. There are still more days than not that he’s using the wheelchair more than the forearm crutches but even with that he’s accustomed to it enough that he’s got plenty of mobility.

It’s been over two months that you’ve been working with Johnny and he’s been thriving as well as a man in his condition can. He attributes this entirely to his god-sent Angel of a nurse. He wouldn’t have gotten too far without you helping him through every stage. Having endless patience and compassion. Not a judgmental bone in your body.

So it comes as a complete shock when you ask him about having his sister or one of the team come up in two weeks because you have to take a shift back at the hospital.

“Why would you n-need that hen?” Johnny's voice is strained despite the joking tone he tries to lighten it up with. “Needing more funds? Am I n-not paying you well?”

You just shake your head, back turned to him while you section out his meds for the week. Unable to see the mounting anxiety in his face.

“Oh, don’t worry about my money. I just need to work on the floor every four months or I have to get reorientated. It’s just more convenient so that when I leave I have a job right away.”

“Already thinkin’ bout leaving me hen?”

You just rolled your eyes at the comment, having gotten to the point of being casual with Johnny weeks ago.

“Only so many football games I can listen to Johnny before I start to go mad. Try changing it up to hockey or baseball once n a while.” You slot the bottles back into the cabinet and the pill box on the counter for easy access. “So it’ll only be two days I’ll be gone and I can get everything set up beforehand. That sound good?”

You look over to him expectantly and Johnny doesn’t have the heart to say no to you. 

No, he can’t do that yet. That’ll freak you out. Get some big reaction. He needs to get you to make the decision to stay on your own.

......

Everything just seemed to go downhill so fast. Relapsing back into previous conditions.

Every other word evaded him to the point of forcing himself into a stewed, annoyed silence from being unable to just get a damn sentence out without ‘sounding like an engine about to give out.’

Waking up to a hard thump and groaning, sending you padding out into the dark hallway only to find Johnny on the ground, forearm crutches on the floor right beside him. Quickly stammering out that he thought he could make it to the bathroom without the wheelchair. He normally does this is just a one off please don’t fuss over him hen-

You having to strip off his shorts to apply moist pads to his thighs after he’d spilled steaming hot coffee on himself. His hands shook too bad to slide under the waistband. He kept apologizing with a look of frustration on his face. Brows furrowed and teeth bared with a hiss of pain yet eyes soft with humiliation as you kept reassuring him that it was okay. This was your job. You were there to take care of him.

He always tries to keep that light tone of his, joking about independence and no longer having a babysitter one day. It makes you want to believe him but the bitterness and scorn in his eyes when seeing even his buddies come by is palpable. 

Even the fun of watching football is sucked out when his brain contorts to see the men as comparisons to his own state. Functional men.

Men that you would never leave, men that you would willingly cling to, men so unlike him.

…..

Johnny’s therapist takes you aside before one of the sessions, asking about the sudden change in Johnny’s progress. If there were any triggers you could remember.

And you should’ve said something. Confessed that the trigger of Johnny’s worsening was the perceived threat of you leaving. But you didn’t. Because if you did then flags would be raised about the inappropriate boundaries being crossed between caretaker and patient and you would be removed from Johnny’s care. And that just would make his recovery worse. 

You were doing the right thing, right? You were just looking out for Johnnys well-being.

[highfantasy-soul]

Wait wait wait - XD

Mismag episode 7 spoilers

---

[Prefacing this with I'm not angry nor judging anyone at the table - having no idea what their true thoughts on these things are, just pointing out how silly and perhaps purposefully 'missing the point' some of the characters are being played as]

Please tell me the adventuring party was Brennan still doing a bit about not understanding that Tabby was 100% directly mimicking Evan (even though it started out Evan realizing he was looking in a mirror, then idk if everyone just got lost in the sauce and that realization just got buried in the improv yes-anding far away from the starting point)

Brennan just screamed that Evan's vibes are RANCID!

Evan who just gave a whole speech about how he was emotionally crushed (and low-key judgy) about how Jammer said 'family on 6' but his single mom of 3 didn't adopt a troubled 17 year old whom she'd never met. Then feeling icky that a rock they've been traveling with and using for info wants to be a part of the friendship.

How the whole point of him wanting to be a dog was that people didn't get rid of you - they kept you and you didn't need to be explicitly useful for them to still want you. Then Tabby literally said the exact same thing - being afraid they'd leave him behind when they found the wall he was supposed to go in despite how useful he'd been with as much energy as he had with the magic and Evan POINT BLANK REFUSED TO PROMISE IT!! Despite Evan asking the same of his group of friends.

Claiming that Tabby was 'love bombing' them to get them to do what Tabby wanted, but not recognizing Evan does the same - then blames people for abandoning him even though none of them have.

AND THE PARALLELS WITH HOW EVAN TAPES OUT A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING AND TABBY HAS A LITERAL OUTLINE IN A WALL HE'S SUPPOSED TO DIRECTLY FIT INTO AND YET EVAN CLAIMS TO WANT TO BE ABLE TO BREAK OUT OF THAT 'NECESSITY' TO HAVE A PLACE WHERE YOU FIT AND JUST BE ABLE TO EXIST WITHOUT NEEDING TO FIT A SPECIFIC SHAPE/PURPOSE IN THE WORLD

How Evan only sees one way his 'needs' can be met - and that's with the group all living together with their themed rooms and adventuring forever (exactly what Tabby said) and getting really disregulated when the group wants to be in each other's lives in a different way - leading Evan to almost fully cut everyone off because they didn't fit in the small box of 'this is the way they'll show they love me', completely missing all the ways that they, too, get to be their own person and just because Evan isn't stitched to them at the hip doesn't mean they aren't a family.

Tabby is pretty clearly just becoming 'sentient' and he's mimicking what he's seeing around him - namely, Evan's desperate need to belong and be a part of something permanently

I have no idea how much of all that was a bit meant to highlight how Evan just can't clock that comparison (even though at the beginning of Tabby waking up fully he seemed to - and then promptly decided that instead of facing that in himself and extending some compassion and empathy to Tabby, he veered to a hard 'we need to destroy this thing that reminds me of how I behave') or how much was Brennan and Lou just getting lost in the sauce of how to interpret Tabby's every move into something bad, but I'm glad the fems and thems of the table called it out and acknowledged that's what was happening.

I really hope the next episode circles back on Evan's initial realization that Tabby was like looking in the mirror and that's how Evan is to be around and there will be some growth there instead of Evan and Jammer just teaming up to destroy Tabby. K dropped the line about making love sustainable which earned a knowing look from Aabria, so I hope that, since Evan was allowed to have his tirade against K (for good reason) episode 3, K will get to call Evan on his shit too.

I think it was a really smart design to have the motives be so explicit this season and at this point I'm very very interested in seeing how the different characters realize their motive, but also reach the point of understanding what they thought they wanted wasn't actually exactly what they need - Jammer realizing that 'teamwork' might need to be achieved differently from how he's been going about it, he might need to pivot. Evan realizing that 'belonging' doesn't mean everyone is with you all the time and constantly reassuring you they don't hate you, they can live their own lives without that meaning they've ditched you.

Idk, very rambly, but the last episode sparked so many ideas in me about how the characters can face themselves and grow due to the wonderful world, mechanics, and plot Aabria has set up.

[its-your-girl-geekerella]

EPIC: The Vengeance Saga

I've procrastinated on this post for as long as I possibly could, but I'm here now! Let's get into it:

Not Sorry For Loving You. I love this song and I love Calypso, and you can't change my mind. I will not apologize. I'm not entirely sure why everyone hates her, but she is my smol child. The animatic cracked me up though, because while Calypso is sobbing and singing, Odysseus is hopping on his boat and sailing away like, "I'm just gonna go... yeah. Bye." It made him seem like a jerk, but it was also kinda funny.

Dangerous. It was a genuinely great song. The "Full Speed Ahead" callback showcasing Odysseus's loneliness was great, Hermes was great, the Winions were great. Everything was just great. There is literally nothing I could say about this song you haven't heard.

Charybdis. Honestly? This is the one song from EPIC that I would call truly "mid". Don't get me wrong, all of Jorge's work is epic (haha I'm so funny), but this one was slightly... less epic. Also, I'm more of a dialogue and emotions person, not really an action-enjoying one, so that may have contributed. I will say, however, that Odysseus's "NOOOO" was incredible and deeply relatable.

Get in the Water. Yes. Yes. And yes again. I had waited for this one for so long, and it did not disappoint. The dialogue between Poseidon and Ody? Chef's kiss. Immaculate writing, Jay. Poseidon's "I can't" really made it seem like he wasn't really that angry anymore, like this was something he put on his "to-do" list a few years back, and had to check off. But when Odysseus told him that he should "learn to forgive", implying that a mere MORTAL knew something more than a GOD, he got peeved. The character depth we see in this song is great, especially in comparison to the next song. Part of me does hope that aside from the finale, this is the last "dead people sing to Odysseus" we see for the rest of the show.

600 Strike. I know I said that I'm not super into action scenes, but this song SLAPS. HARD. The singing is so good, and the music really encapsulates the title of the show. When Ody says, "you're going to call of that storm", I got freaking SCARED. That last 1:40 of the song is my favorite part. The vocals are legit my favorite. And "next to my wife"????? WHO APPROVED THIS???? Jorge??? Are you OK???? Am I OK??? After listening to this last song, I literally went into an early-life crisis. I didn't talk to anyone, I ate some ice cream, and silently pondered to myself, "what just happened?" over and over again. I was fine two hours later, though😀

This Saga was everything I hoped it would be, and it was written really well. (Why am I surprised?) My two favorite songs were "Not Sorry For Loving You" and "600 Strike!"

My biggest "thing" with EPIC is that I want it to become a staged musical. I know that Jay at some point said that it may not work out like that, but then a few moths later he said that it could work, so I'm holding on to hope. After all, if EPIC never becomes a staged production, how are countless people supposed to play these characters we know and love? Don't be stingy, Mr. Jalapeno. /j

My largest concern with this Saga is that it would be the hardest to stage, especially with songs like "Charybdis" and "600 Strike". For example, the part where Poseidon drowns Odysseus. How to show Odysseus being drowned and the wind bag floating just above him and the dead people helping him WHILE still showing Poseidon above the water? I have some concepts, but it would still be really hard. Any ideas are welcome!

[microwavedice]

Hello! Thanks for responding! Before my little comparison attempt here’s a quick disclaimer that I am not saying Curly is innocent, nor excusing him of his inaction. The entire Mouthwashing fandom has been frequently debating Curly and how he is not free of blame (heck it’s almost every text post here) but I was confused to see Swansea put in the same boat as Daisuke and Anya, when I saw him in game to be in a similarly morally grey area as Curly. Though just so everyone knows I love all four of the Mouthwashing characters! (Jimmy can burn in hell-) I mostly want to see more Swansea debate because I love the nuance in his character - how he stays at arms length and seems untrustworthy throughout the game but is actually ready to sacrifice himself for Daisuke, a mirror image of how Anya mentions he secretly loves cake at the surprise party when his distant and gruff attitude make it seem like he doesn’t! I want to explore all of the characters deeper complexities with the same thoroughness the community has shown to be capable of and I’d love to spark more debate about the less considered aspects so imma see if I can mirror what you’ve pointed out about Swansea with what I can gather of Curly’s side of things to compare!

When Curly learns of Anya’s situation they are still over one hundred days of space travel into the middle of nowhere, so from the moment Jimmy did it there were no space police around for Anya to call on and nowhere for them to land (probably terrifying). All of the rooms lock from the inside, so there’s nowhere Curly could have imprisoned Jimmy, though he could have probably used that nylon rope to restrain him somehow (only seems extreme if you don’t know what Jim did) though, in the same way, after learning about it Swansea could have done any of these things. He can clearly physically overpower Jimmy and take the code scanner which is as simple to use as a torch, rendering him and his self-proclaimed captain role obsolete and decidedly doing more harm than good. As for the next point, of course I’d argue that Anya is not safe at any point but to specifically address the sleeping, Jimmy never sees Anya asleep in her bed (as far as I can find) and her bed is always perfectly made, either showing her to be a meticulous person or (what I find more likely since every detail exists for a reason in this game) she sleeps elsewhere (likely in the medical bay since she asked about it specifically having locks in the Dead Pixel scene) away from Jimmy, since I doubt Anya would feel comfortable enough to sleep a foot away from him willingly (she could have moved her bed anywhere in the lobby, hell Swansea’s on the other side of the room! So why are all the rest bunched up like that??). Onto the next point, Jimmy unofficially appoints himself captain - the code scanner is not thumb print operated and the gun would be hard to conceal, also Swansea could snap him like a twig (top ten AUs) Jimmy wouldn’t stand a chance without the gun, so I don’t think Swansea was in any was threatened by Jimmy nor respected Jimmy enough to think his input was worth the harm. Diasuke’s death is bloody tragic, he lost his life for bright eyed naivety and even pushed through the broken vent to open the door, though neither him nor Anya survived (god this game is so sad but also so meaningful), in the moment Swansea seems to have been shocked to his core, complete shutdown. He says “it’s over. End of the fuckin’ line” and tells Jimmy to knock himself out with the cryopod, as if Daisuke’s death chipped away the last of his will to live on. Then, as Jimmy leaves to “fix everything” and ��save everyone” with the ultimate friendship saving power of A Gun, a switch flips to the manic setting in the narrative and suddenly Swansea is furiously charging at Jimbo with the axe, a switch I attribute to him having taken that minute to process what Daisuke said about the cocktail, figuring out that Jimmy had yet again managed to manipulate someone into sacrificing themself for him to fulfil his hero complex, effectively having murdered our precious intern.

The start of this next paragraph implies that you thought Swansea factored Anya into his reason to get violent? Throughout the game, Swansea never takes much notice of Anya, calling her a “so-called nurse” and only bringing up the fact that she told him about it because Jimmy accused him of scheming, talking to her being involved in his paranoid list of potentially suspicious things Swansea’s done. Additionally, there’s a large difference in how Swansea and Curly held their inaction on Anya’s sexual assault: Swansea, in the same conversation that she told him, declined helping her, being a self aware and brutally honest foil to Jimmy’s emotional manipulation and inability to take responsibility for his choices and actions. The conversation ends with Anya saying “if that’s how it has to be” while crying, (probably due to offloading such a horrific topic, not necessarily because of Swansea’s response but it would certainly perpetuate her despair) indicating that Swansea has decided not to take action - at least not under their current circumstances. While he may have thought about it, Swansea was clearly not motivated to action by Jimmy’s sexual assault on Anya, as she told him 2 whole months before he decides to axe the bastard. Curly’s approach was almost the opposite situation, Swansea’s being that he already had reasons to dislike Jim, had plenty of time but wasn’t motivated to take action against him just by hearing about the SA, instead Curly had a trust of some kind with Jimmy (though Jimmy has shown to be very capable and prone to emotional manipulation as he did with Daisuke and Anya) but only had two days to come up with a plan, one being spent panicking about Anya potentially hurting herself with a gun and the second spent being blown to smithereens. There is no evidence, as well, within these two days that Anya was still sleeping in her quarters. There’s every chance that after telling Curly this and asking about the medical bay locks she decided to sleep in their until the crash (perhaps even after), since every lock is manual and locks from the inside she wouldn’t need to tell anyone in order to sleep in there. I don’t know what you mean Curly “helped Jimmy” after Anya told him? The only events after the Dead Pixel scene and before the crash are Curly searching for the gun, having Jimmy trying to push the sexual assault blame onto Curly in true Jimbo fashion, Jimmy then telling him “I’ll take care of it” and then Curly finding out that “it” was not in fact the child support. Anyhoo this is getting to be a really long post so I’ll wait to add anymore just in case anyone has any questions, cheers for reading! Sorry if I misspelt anything!

Hot take: Curly is more innocent than Swansea.

Mouthwashing fandom, who have shown to consistently disagree with this, what have I missed that makes you all unanimously excuse Swansea but debate Curly?

In short: Prove me wrong

[sockatoothewafflebird]

okay so i found this s1 and s2 intro comparison video and i'm going feral about it. i have a lot to say. i think the intro poses some very important theories and ideas and i'd like to post my take about it. this is about arcane btw

i made a comment about this on the video itself but there's a lot more i wanted to say. in short, the comment said:

season one's intro focuses on the surface-level ideas of the characters. each one is either decked out in their gear or holding their weapons, or whatever things make them who they are. i think it's super cool for that, but season two's focuses solely on lighting and the characters themselves.

as another post mentioned, all of the characters are in very generic clothing, with nothing but them to observe. no gear, no weapons, no items, other than viktor holding his mask (the same way he held the book last season mind you) and the medardas with the rose. they're going to be stripped bare in this season.

the lighting is made so it highlights their faces, their posture, their body language. we're not looking at characters in a show anymore. we're looking at people.

that's the big main idea of all of this, but there's a lot more to talk about, so i'll put the rest under the cut so nonone has to scroll for hours to get past this post if they don't want to read everything. and there are a heap of season two spoilers under the cut as well, just beware.

anyway, we start out the intro with vi. let's take a really close look at this because holy shit.

we start with her sitting there, in nothing but a tank top (and i think not even a bra lmao) and she brings her hand to her face and smudges her tattoo. the tattoo with her name on it. the tattoo that helped maddie nolan recognize her.

and then the pink strip of light HIGHLIGHTS IT. that's her name, that's who she is, and she smudged it. it's probably a tattoo so the smudge in the intro is lore symbolic than anything, unless you can just easily remove tattoos in the league of legends universe. but anyway, yeah, she's having an identity crisis. she doesn't know who she is anymore.

next, we have jinx. parallel to last season's intro vi and jinx are back to back. but in this season they're sitting down. while vi is sitting, contemplative, her sister stands up and shoots.

i think comparing this with s1 is very important. in s1 vi and powder are a carving, cut from the same stone. and there they are in season two, now their own people, now walking away from one another. it's a very clever way to present their dynamic in my opinion.

it's important to point out that vi sits down and the light illuminates her smudged tattoo, while when jinx stands and shoots the light highlights her eye. i'm not sure what to make of it but it's interesting.

let's move on to ekko!

so, when it switches to him, we can see him standing alone in an empty room, the light making it so he has two shadows. they move bit by bit, like the hands of a clock.

i think that's a really cool detail because, for those who don't know much about league of legends, ekko's ability in the game is time-related. what it means for his arc in s2 i'm not quite certain on, but i have a really big theory i'll talk about in another post soon.

on to the next bit, viktor! unfortunately there's a 10-image limit on mobile and i dont have a computer right now so i'll continue this in another post. also i don't want this to be pages and pages long... so stay tuned cause ive got a lot of shit to say lmao.

made a new blog tag, just search arcane intro analysis in my blog and you'll find all posts relating to arcane's intro. more to come!!!

[givehimthemedicine]

lumax as a premature relationship

first: I don't mean any of this like "the show shouldn't have done it". what I mean is that with lumax, ST is telling the story of a relationship whose flaw (if it can be summarized into just one) is that it happened too soon.

probably out of comparison to milkvan, and the delay of canon byler, lumax gets lauded as the wholesome ship based on true friendship that slowly blossomed into romance. but that's not accurate. Lucas is a good friend to Max, but Max isn't to Lucas, and it certainly wasn't slow.

even platonic lumax should've been a slow simmer but was a speed run

the newly-introduced Max has high walls, which suggests anyone who wants to get close to her will have to take a slow approach. but then before you know it, Lucas is just kinda. in there.

yes, it takes him most of the season to earn Max's trust, which sounds long, but isn't. the first time Lucas and Max ever spoke was Halloween, Wednesday. the arcade I think is Saturday, and the junkyard is the day after that? so she broaches the darkest subject in her life... 4 days after meeting him. with like. zero prompting. "that fog looks cool! btw my parents are divorced and..."

Max's walls are only so high because of how badly she wants to let someone in, so it's understandable that the right person could get in relatively fast. I have no problem with that trope. sucker, in fact. but opening up here was CRAZY for someone with huge trust issues:

you have to be careful who you confide in about abuse because if your confidant mishandles it so that your abuser finds out you told, things could get MUCH worse. she simply doesn't know Lucas well enough to know he won't accidentally put her in more danger (which actually he already did: by following her out of the arcade after she said not to, and again by showing up at her house).

this talk was moments before Max saw a demodog, meaning she's gone along with the supernatural story without any evidence. I'm not criticizing that; she's a kid who likes fantasy, wants friends really bad, and isn't above playing make-believe in order to be included. what bothers me is she confided in Lucas about her abuse BEFORE seeing a shred of proof this entire outing wasn't the elaborate prank she feared it was. in the infinitely more realistic scenario that these boys are just messing with her, and will ditch her after they've had their laugh, this could so easily have led to a much darker situation at home.

the timing of that conversation was so objectively, stupidly unsafe that I'd call it bad writing if it was an isolated incident. but, self-preservation instincts so terrible they can sometimes be better explained as elf-sabotage - that's just classic Max.

romantic lumax seemed kind of forced because as a new kid in town, all Max wanted was friendship

the snow ball is about a month after everything else. Max and Lucas don't seem to be a couple yet. it doesn't even look like they're dates. so to kiss him suddenly felt like another jump way ahead. he sure looked surprised.

I guess a month is a while when you're 13, but the romantic aspect felt rushed to me because the whole season is full of indications that Max only wanted friendship. and that's made super clear by her constant focus on group friendship. her dialogue throughout 2 is consistently group-oriented.

her behavior is too: as of Halloween, Max has Lucas and Dustin in her pocket. if she's crushing on Lucas, or enjoys attention from boys in general, why on earth would she go out on such a limb seeking Mike's acceptance after she already has what she wants?

because that's not what she wants most. she wants to belong to the whole group, like she keeps saying. (I'm going to ramble much more about this theme in another post soon)

Max continues to prioritize friendship / group activities even after lumax becomes a thing

a few examples:

lumax's idea of "romantic time" can include their friends, in contrast to milkvan prioritizing alone time.

Max (and Lucas) drop 1 on 1 time (washing out his eyes is a scene that's an easy kiss opportunity for your standard tv teen couple) in favor of a long trek in the sun to build a radio tower so Dustin can talk to a girl she doesn't believe exists. Max and Lucas do skip off together, but again in contrast to El and Mike who leave early to make out, they only leave because it's time to go home.

^that's the same Max who tagged along and earnestly participated in armoring up a junked schoolbus to fight monsters without any proof.

despite downsizing for trailer living, she kept the Michael Myers mask in memory of the first night she felt like a part of the party.

unlike others who yell for their loved one from the UD, Max calls out for Lucas and Dustin.

her life-saving montage includes many platonic as well as romantic moments.

alright killjoy, if Max only wanted friendship, how's it make sense that SHE initiated all the romantic stuff?

ST is not a universe where grabbing someone's hand in a tense moment is necessarily an indicator of romance. Dustin said he could feel "the electricity" when Lucas and Max held hands on the bus, but then, Dustin also ships stobin.

the kiss, I could actually come closest to calling a writing misstep because.. it wasn't written. it feels forced because it was, as a last-minute unscripted thing - not because the Duffers decided it fit Max's characterization, but purely because they thought it was funny how uncomfortable Sadie was with filming her first kiss. <- this interview is actually so gross.

but, that kiss is canon regardless of how I feel about bts lore, and it fits and it works in the sense that this is the story of a flawed relationship. Max initiated it despite not being ready for it, simply because she thought she was.

Max's childhood fears about bad relationships have made her overeager to prove a good relationship can exist. so the first time a boy is actually kind to her, she's like OH SEE LOVE IS REAL I DONT HAVE TO GROW UP TO BE MY MOM LET'S GOOOO and hurls herself into something she's not mature enough to realize she's too immature to execute well.

if that kiss was so misguided, how's it still Max's happiest memory?

there's no conflict there.

she grew up around terrible relationships and probably feared she was destined for the same, so to find a nice boy like Lucas must have given her such incredible relief and hope. in her young mind, that dance was her happily ever after. you never forget how good a moment like that felt, regardless of how well reality lived up to it.

that said. can I point out that reality hasn't lived up to it?

Max choosing the moment lumax began, as opposed to any moment from the year-and-change of its actual contents... might be less good the more you think about it. like. she doesn't describe this as her favorite memory. she says it's the time she was happiest. in other words, she hasn't been as happy before or since.

that kiss marked lumax's moment of greatest potential, which I think is what made Max so happy. not the relationship she's actually gotten so far.

mmkay and then what do I do about the fact Max STILL wants to date Lucas?

once again, Max is the one who makes things overtly romantic by doodling a picture of them holding hands. but as you may know from my recent lumax diatribe, I don't see how the ship is seaworthy at present.

so the top layer of my interpretation is that Max is still operating under the same ideas that caused her to kiss Lucas in the first place. she's not thinking about how it'll work; she just wants. this is fast-forward Max again. it's a similar moment of hope to the snow ball kiss. romance with Lucas once again looks like her lifeline out of an awful situation.

the layer underneath that is less fluffy:

Max might've accepted this invite in as much an "I might die tonight so it won't hurt to make some lighthearted plans for the future, he did just save my life so why hurt his feelings for no reason" way as anything else. I don't mean her affection is fake. she just might consider the movie date a pipe dream.

consider that her attic monologue happens only a couple minutes after the doodle, and shows that her suicidal ideations are barely behind her. like, the wanting-to-die part is just bait at this point I think, but the deserving-to-die sentiment still feels fresh and sincere.

consider that Max so recently scolded Lucas for assuring her things would work out because that's "never true" in her life... and now here she is drawing a doodle of things working out.

sure, this could be a girl who's thinking "yes!!! ✅ Attending Event! I genuinely expect to be alive, deserving of love, and in the mood for romance this Friday!" but to me, it honestly seems more like a girl thinking "God, I wish."

btw the doodle would've been perfect as the advent of romantic lumax, imo

if lumax had grown slowly out of a healthy mutual friendship, Max really could be ready right here.

imagine: s2, Max earns her place in the party, but to grow especially close friends with Lucas takes a year; the bus talk happens in s3. we can tell their friendship is starting to want to become more. depression interferes in s4. but their bond helps pierce the fog, and they protect each other from Vecna/Jason.

you hit me with the movie doodle after THAT buildup? adorable, precious, showstopping. at that point, that date could've been their happily ever after. <- this is what people think it is already!

lumax is one of many flawed relationships (and that's okay)

another sign that lumax is supposed to be flawed is its place in the larger pattern of flawed relationships: parallels with other characters and ships.

Max and El in particular share a similar stumble into their relationships: both bond with the first boy to treat them with kindness, and throw themselves into a relationship that actually costs them the friendship they should've had with that boy.

and all the party relationships illustrate different friendship/romance progressions:

lumax is the story of a romance that should've been a friendship first/also and isn't going to succeed til it gets this right

byler will be the story of a romance that was a friendship first and will succeed by remaining one also (or so the themes and patterns suggest)

mileven is the story of a romance that should've been a friendship instead.

literally all of ST's relationships, including the endgame romances, have flaws that are intentional and meant to be explored. in fact that's like... most of what the show is. and most fans can readily admit that about all of them, until they get to lumax, which they think is uniquely meant to be perfect and is flawed only in its writing. this view strips lumax from its broader context and ignores many lessons it's there to teach us about ST's overarching themes.

understand: my aim in pointing out lumax's flaws is not to persuade anyone to enjoy it less or stop shipping it!

flaws don't mean you aren't allowed to like a thing. if anything, it makes them way more interesting to discuss, and more compelling to root for/against. we don't have to pretend our characters are perfect in order to enjoy, ship, and learn from them.

more on all this coming soon in another post exploring different types of love in the Max plot!

[lale-txt]

it's been over a week but i legit haven't stopped thinking about this

[angelichl]

.

[thedreadvampy]

btw about Neil Gaiman I periodically agree with the 'Neil Gaiman is annoying' stuff bc I feel like both he and Amanda Palmer seem like people who I would go insane stuck in a room with bc we have very different ideas about art and suchlike. and I also do think that the career trajectory he's on lately is cynically redoing his greatest hits and pretending that was the dream all along when it clearly was not. which is at best meh.

having said which

as far as I can tell by far the most common complaint about Neil Gaiman is "Snow, Glass, Apples is problematic/gross/it's got incest and rape and frames the child as the aggressor"

which strikes me as a weird complaint to pull out of a 40 year body of work tbh when that short story is pretty clearly coming from a place of 'how far can I push this'. like you don't have to like the story. I don't really like the story. but it is. a horror story.

like and this is the thing with particularly 90s alt horror right? a lot of the interest is in transgression and sitting in the worst possible perspective and seeing what happens if you pull those strings. like I really like Clive Barker for example but there's a good chunk of his short stories that I'm like I'm not picking up what you're putting down Clive this seems Kinda Off. but that willingness to write some trite or Bad Message horror fiction that doesn't land is imo a side effect of being willing to try writing uncomfortable and unpleasant fiction at all. which is what horror is for, among other things, it's for creating discomfort as a form of catharsis or engagement.

like I am not a huge fan of the type of sex-horror that pops up in a lot of Gaiman's work and other contemporary horror writers - to me I don't find it upsetting or horny it just ends up feeling kind of edgy and tryhard - but I'm also a bit like. it does seem like a lot of people's beef with Neil Gaiman is that In The 90s He Was A Horror Writer

and this approach to Problematic Horror in Snow, Glass, Apples I find kind of microcosmic of how The Discourse often approaches art in this kind of 1:1 way. if you write a story which seems to line up with rape apologia it can only be because you agree with it. if you write a story about transphobia you're a transphobe. if you write a story that makes me genuinely uncomfortable you're attacking me.

but artwork, especially art like horror that's not necessarily trying to provoke enjoyment as its main response, is necessarily hit and miss. and if what you're shooting for is discomfort then whether it works, falls flat or goes too far incredibly depends on your audience. and making good art - as in art that makes its audience think, art that opens the audience up to discomfort and catharsis and sticks with them and changes them - requires the space to experiment and tbh the space to fuck up. like they aren't all going to be winners and they certainly aren't all going to work for you as a singular audience.

personally I don't see the appeal of Snow, Glass, Apples, less cause it's nasty and more cause it's hack. ooh an edgy monstrous version of a fairy tale where there's lots of rape and cannibalism? you're soooo original Neil. but like. that's fine. I don't really vibe with like 70% of Neil Gaiman stuff I've read but I still like Neil Gaiman because the stuff that works for me really works for me.

idk I think there's a lot of folk on this website who shouldn't interact with horror cause they clearly aren't interested in being horrified. that's not everyone who dislikes Snow, Glass, Apples, but it's a real undercurrent to a lot of the criticism and tbh this kinda vibe is shit for art. making standout art What Is Good also requires being ready to make art which stands out for the wrong reasons. sometimes they'll be the same art to different people.

[skitskatdacat63]

The true old man fucker behavior is simping over historical figures

[randomnameless]

Typing a reply made me re-check Big B's paralogue

And I remembered this post where I ranted about some stuff

Big B goes :

It's not exactly a real Relic, per se. Nope. It's a replica. Crafted after the War of Heroes. It's a secret family heirloom of sorts from my mom's village.

Now, we know the weapons "similar" to Relics were used during the War of the Eagle and the Lion by Loog's side, so yes, Relics (even if they don't belong to the Elites, they are still powered by Crest Stones and made of Umbral Steel unlike Aymr!) were still being made post WoH.

And that makes me think...

In the earlier post, I was kind of trying to make sense of Willy's conquest and came up with the idea of him brutally putting to the sword/axe/whatever he used the clans and people who knew how to "craft" relics, aka "seeking more power", but also, just people who know because this secret must be hidden at all costs.

Willy's callous actions might have been done with the best intentions (protect Nabateans) but it still led him to slaughter people whose only "sin" was... knowledge.

Fodlan games being what they are, we will not know if Vajra Mushti was made of "material" that was "already harvested" in Zanado, or if a Nabatean - post Zanado - was trounced to craft it, like a random one who was not present during the initial genocide and ultimately was killed for the same reasons. We know Pan was most likely an Agarthan person, was he the one who gifted "new golden weapons" to Loog's side? Were those weapons from "freshly harvested" Nabateans, or made from the "previously harvested" ones whose bones were in the barracks?

Now, concerning Balthus' in particular...

This relic is, per his words, something crafted after the WoH and it was treated as a heirloom in Kupala. Mmkay.

But we also have this :

There's a story they tell where my mom grew up. Long ago, the village got in a squabble with some folks looking to conquer the place. A village elder gave some holy red stuff to their wounded soldiers. Some kind of liquid, who knows... After she did that, some of them made a complete recovery, against all odds. The rest of them were changed, but not for the better. They up and vanished before long. Crests suddenly manifested for the ones who survived.

The Apostle Chevalier left Garreg Mach after the Rite of Rising and went in the mountains, most likely Kupala.

Then, he gave his blood because some people tried to conquer the village (tfw Kupala is located near the Almyran border?), some people got crests and the others, well, didn't (Balthus wonders what "vanished" means, but maybe it means they were turned in demonic beasts?).

And then... Balthus says the gauntlets were "crafted" (so he calls them replicas) so it's knowledge they were "made" and we know what kind of "material" was used.

Assuming Chevalier was a Nabatean (since the only occurences of people healing and getting a crest thanks to magic blood come from people who got their transfusion from a nabatean, Nopes!Seteth mentions how an Elite was supposedly "cured" after getting a crest...) - this would mean he fails the rite of rising and retires in the mountains, live in a village with humans, humans are threatened so he saves them -

and then he is fucking harvested and crafted in a weapon

(Vajra-Mushti has two crest stones (tfw gauntlet) so maybe some random Agarthan gave them the second "crest stone" if Chevalier only had one)

Nabatean Chevalier helps humans and is harvested as a result by the same humans he saved and who knew they could "craft" weapons from him.

(in the best course of action, just like Aubin, Chevalier died "from natural causes" and humans later used his bones to craft the relic, instead of killing him)

Wouldn't this mean, at the end of the day though, that Willy would be, in this theory, right?

If humans know how to craft "golden weapons", they will craft them, regardless of the nature of the "material" used - the people of Kupala were saved by Chevalier the Nabatean... and they show their gratitude by desacrating his remains to build a weapon and treat "it" as a "family heirloom"

(if not straight up killing him to craft said weapon!)

Given how fond Yuri was of old man Aubin, I picture him having the same reaction as Edward from FMA who found out the "being" he transmuted wasn't his mother, when he will find out "what" is the nifty relic he uses.

(granted, given the age of all parties and how the Fetters of Dromi were previously in Dagda, I wonder if Aubin was the one who was turned in an accessory, or if it wasn't another snow dragon...)

In the end - current Fodlan (or post WoH fodlan) - isn't safe for Nabateans because humans will always seek new "weapons" so what was is the solution to adopt, now that this "knowledge" is out in the wild?

If Willy picked the "erase those who know" option, he slaughters innocent people and doesn't even manage to bury the secret, since Chevalier (and maybe the ones from the Loog War?) was harvested, so he just killed a bunch of people for no results.

Rhea's lie about "gifts from the goddess don't think about it"... was sooner or later not going to work anymore, one of her scholars nearly managed to pierce this secret but desisted, and the few relics that "appear" spontanously, called "replicas" or what not throw a wrench in this narrative (just like crests gifted via transfusion!).

No wonder why Rhea thought only Sothis could find a solution - but anyways, what is the solution in this situation???

[idolbound]

De Facto Viscount

Okay, I'm continuing my discussion with Meredith 'subtly' taking on the role of de facto Viscount, during the opening scene of Act 3, when Orsino is trying to rally support from the nobles, Meredith arrives as Hawke does, and this bit of dialogue really demonstrates Meredith's mentality:

"How well did you guard your own mother? Did she not die at a blood mage's hands? [...] Cold corpses speak louder than abstract freedoms, do they not? As long as that's true, Kirkwall needs its templars more than it needs a new ruler."

In this sense, Meredith portrays the Gallows and the Templar Order as a necessary martial force to control the city until the apostates and blood mages alike are brought to heel. She has been doing this for a few years since the qunari attack; unrest and dissent are starting to rise amongst the mages and nobles alike. As Orsino succinctly says, "And when will that end? When will you stop seeing evil in every corner?"

To which Meredith replies, "When it's no longer there." This speaks to her increased levels of paranoia, due to the proximity of her new sword made from the red lyrium idol (which we see her carrying from this point already. Whether that's for the sake of the game having just one model of Meredith in Act 3, or if she already acquired the idol sometime between Acts 2 &3 is debatable, but I like to believe her already existing paranoia has increased slowly but surely over this period of time).

Of course, Meredith justifies the efforts of the Order by stating that "You know as well as I that temptation prays on every mage, no matter how noble their intentions." This of course, is likely in reference to her own sister (which at this point, Hawke is not aware of), who in Meredith's view was an innocent child who still lost control to the demon that took over her body. Regardless of intent, Meredith cannot fathom a mage having the will power to survive such temptations of power.

Interestingly, also, Hawke can ask Meredith to respond to Orsino's accusations of her trying to take control of the city, to which Meredith answers, "The City! I am trying to keep order until there is a ruler capable of succeeding where Dumar failed." With the history behind Elthina and Meredith choosing Dumar for his 'spinelessness', as someone malleable to their influence and instruction, it is quite clear that this is what is happening again, only this time the delay in choosing a new Viscount is because they claim to the citizens that they want someone capable (rather than someone compliant).

Orsino pushes it further, asking "And if not? Will the templars rule Kirkwall forever?" to which Meredith justifies her position more so with "We will not stand idle while the city burns around us" Again, Meredith brings it back to mages solely being at fault for the issues in the city, and that finding a new Viscount won't matter until that problem is dealt with.

Again, Orsino pushes to say that the Templar Order exists to guard the Chantry and Circle, suggesting that Meredith should let the nobility rule the city. Which of course, he's right in saying so, and at this point, many of the nobles would be in agreement. Meredith, of course, gets on the defensive in response. "I do not need you or anyone to tell me what my duty is, mage." She's well aware of her role in the city, but isn't letting Orsino of all people remind her of what her station is, and what she must do. But she knows this goes above and beyond, but she continues to enforce that the responsibility of the city is still hers despite that fact.

At this point, Hawke can tell Meredith to step down, or to let the nobility decide, though if Hawke offers to step in, Meredith immediately shuts it down ("That is not going to happen") clearly defending her choice and decision to continue with herself in charge under martial law. Hawke at this point, as Champion, is a viable threat to Meredith's control and plans for the city, and positioning them as Viscount would stand in direct opposition to her interests.

Of course, before this gets even more heated, Grand Cleric Elthina finally makes an entrance to temper things down and keep the peace - and to rein Meredith in as the only person capable of doing so at this point. Elthina makes a point to say that Meredith's actions also demean "us" as in, the Chantry and Order, and to go "back to the Gallows and calm down, like a good girl", which in some ways is a humiliation tactic (to emphasize their pseudo-maternal relationship but also to associate Meredith's behaviour as something child-like) but one Meredith knows she cannot fight against.

As I've said, enforcing martial law and blocking the election of a new Viscount, while positioning this decision as a matter of finding someone competent by her standards and enforcing that the mage problem must be solved first and foremost, Meredith effectively positions herself as the de facto Viscount of Kirkwall in all but the title itself, maintaining power and control over the key institutions in the city-state - the Templar Order, the Gallows, and the Viscount's Keep.

[cocoabubbelle-newblog]

Do current Marvel Writers hate Professor Xavier or something?

[lesbiansanemi]

I am so fucking sick of living with my roommate and his fuck ass boyfriend. Also watching my roommate burn every single one of his (already rather minimal, I might add) bridges for this guy is also kind of painful but also his relationship with me is one of said bridges so I'm almost past the point of even feeling bad for him lmao

[vulpinesaint]

it's me and all the women in literature described in despondent unhappiness in a marriage that they don't hate but don't enjoy as they should and who feel as if they're not the way a woman should be and who yearn to be free of their husband and children not because they despise them but because they're not for a husband and children and who can't say that they're miserable but who feel a numb kind of despair in all that disconnectedness and disconnectedness and disconnectedness. they are just like me for real

[woolydemon]

so update on my life. Since I've cut out the person that was shit for me I'm now witnessing them go from making jabs against me on their priv to totally shutting up & Freaking Out when our (formerly) mutual friend I'm in cahoots with blocked them as well. Freaking out so much to the point that they contacted them to try to sort things out... Via their persona twitter roleplay accounts with the //ooc tag and everything.

Wild. Anywya I just ate udon noodles for lunch and had a haircut so I'm doing p good in comparison