#ugh i have too many thoughts about this all
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
hear this rambler out ok so baby fever smc, like randomly, you don't know where he got this baby fever attack from but he has it and your sitting up peacefully on your shared bed and reading a book or whatever and he comes in, lays beside you and hugs your side, kisses your neck and just being all lovey dovey like its obvious he wants something. 2nd ramble (teehee I'm the person who sent the ancient read x smc meeting situation) have a wonderful day, I'm gonna go binge your posts thanks for feeding me
:DD
You didn’t even hear the door open.
One minute, your book was perfectly balanced in your lap, the world outside soft and silent, and the next—there was a suspicious shift in weight beside you. A familiar one. A certain exaggerated sigh followed.
“…You’re quiet today,” you said calmly, eyes still on the page.
Shadow Milk Cookie flopped down beside you like a lovesick specter, limbs winding around your waist like ivy. He didn’t answer right away, just nuzzled into your side with a low hum and a kiss pressed lazily to your neck.
“Mm. You smell like sleep and paper.”
You turned a page, not bothering to look at him. “Do you want something?”
Another sigh, louder this time, and definitely theatrical.
“I want everything,” he whispered dramatically, fingers crawling under the hem of your shirt like they belonged there. “But I’d settle for your undivided attention. Just for a bit.”
You tilted your head slightly as he pressed another kiss behind your ear. Soft. Lingering. Too soft.
“…You’re acting weird.”
He gasped like you’d slapped him. “Weird? I’m being affectionate.” His lips dragged over your shoulder. “You’re being cold.”
“I’m reading.”
“You’re ignoring me.”
You glanced down at him, finally taking him in: how his hair was slightly tousled like he’d just rolled out of bed, how his expression—normally sly or smug—was weirdly… dreamy. Gooey, almost. Like whipped cream left too long in the sun.
“Okay, what’s wrong with you,” you said flatly.
He blinked up at you.
“…Have you ever thought about it?” he murmured suddenly, almost too soft.
“About what?”
Shadow Milk’s hand slid slowly over your stomach, palm warm through the thin fabric of your shirt. His eyes stayed locked on yours, serious now.
“…What we’d look like with someone small curled up between us. What our mornings would sound like with tiny feet hitting the floor. A soft little voice calling for you while I pretend to still be asleep…”
You stared at him.
“Shadow Milk.”
“Yes, dearest?”
“Do you have baby fever?”
A long pause. A sheepish smile.
“I do not have baby fever.”
You dropped your book into your lap with a heavy sigh.
He laughed—giggled, really—pressing closer, burying his face in your neck as he wrapped himself around you like a very large, very clingy ribbon.
“I just think,” he whispered sweetly, “you’d look gorgeous all full and round… waddling through the palace with that glow. That dreamy, swollen look you’d get when you’re halfway asleep but still carrying something ours.” He purred, nosing at your cheek. “Mmm. You’d be so soft for me…”
“Are you—seriously fantasizing about me pregnant right now?”
“I might be,” he sang. “Is it working?”
“No.”
“Liar.” He kissed you again, slower now. “Your skin always tastes warmer when you’re thinking about it.”
“I am not—”
“You are,” he whispered. “Let me put something in you. Just a little. Just one try.”
You groaned, throwing your head back as he kissed your jaw again and again, lips trailing like stardust.
“I swear to the Dough above—”
“I’ll be gentle,” he cooed. “And if not… I’ll just have to hold you down and apologize between kisses. Mmm. Our little one would be so loved.”
“You’re out of your mind.”
“And you’re still holding me,” he replied, smug.
You hadn’t even noticed—but your fingers had tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, cradling his head like it belonged there.
Maybe you were both out of your minds. ---
UGH YOU GUYSSS I'M NOW HAVING ALL THESE IDEAS OF SO MANY COOKIES TO THEME MY BLOG AND THEIR ALL SO GOOOD!! I keep thinking of a pavlova cookie theme but also a candy apple cookie theme BUTTT a Black forest cookie theme like ugh, I cant make up my mind!!
280 notes
·
View notes
Text
OH DEAR GODS PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKED MY WRITING???? I hope y’all know I’m freaking out about this, it will get to my head (my apolocheese)
Anyways, a singular person asked for more… so… more it is!!
Again with all of this I know almost NOTHING about the game, I’ve missed out on a lot of lore since I am simply a card collector… and I’m very biased towards characters 😭‼️
Also this was NOT proofread properly (I’m doing this on no sleep at eight in the morning.)
Anyways, part 1 is here!
Also I’m basing their schedules around THIS post here!! (I think it’s official stuff? Idk)
Thank you for listening to me yap… back to being isekaid!!!! (I still do not know how to spell that)
Oh also there’s angst ish in here? Idk man I’m just writing out my thoughts at this point LOL
OH FUCK AN ISEKAI

Alright well sleeping was… a nightmare. All five of them argued until you eventually gave up and went to the couch. Damn boys, they’re gonna make your life trouble and you know it. But you gotta admit… five guys fawning all over you is kinda nice! The attention? Fantastic. They give you massages? UGH, so nice.
Well… you’ll need one of those mentioned massages tomorrow, you know damn well your back is going to be killing you in the morning.
You’re surprised to see Sylus walk into the living room, sitting next to you.
“You shouldn’t sleep out here sweetie, it’s not good for your body… what if I took you back to the N109 zone with me? You could sleep in a nice comfortable bed there and there would be much more space”
You groan, sitting up
“The only way I will do that is if you bring the other four with us. You need to remember that we are all not technically in our own universes since this ISNT the main storyline of the game. I don’t want them to be stranded here, I’d feel bad about that”
He sighs, but smiles down at you, pulling your head into his lap.
“Always thinking of others before yourself hm sweetie? Be a bit selfish sometimes okay?”
You huff, but relax into his embrace nonetheless.
“Yeah… I’ll try. Why are you up anyways? Couldn’t sleep?”
He’s running his fingers through your hair (or just rubbing your bald head, idk man) and chuckles down at you.
“Oh come on, I thought you knew all about us”
He’s teasing you… cocky mf-
“The N109 zone doesn’t have a day or night technically, so my schedule is a bit off from everyone else”
Oooooooh… riiiight… you had forgotten about that, honestly there’s probably so much you’ve forgotten. You never did read through the events or stories, just let them play in the background to get more pulls for banners… maybe you should get back into the story after all this blows over… or then again… maybe you won’t have to due to being with them all the time now.
“Right… I forgot about that… well I’m… tired. So I’m going to sleep- lemme move-“
You’re trying to shuffle off his lap to not disturb him, but he just rests a hand on the small of your back and tells you to ‘not worry’ and that he can ‘handle you sleeping for a bit’
…that’s sweet…
You’re relaxing into him almost immediately and drifting off, letting your slumber take over you.
What you don’t know however, is that once sylus is sure you’re asleep, he’s analyzing you, trying to see if this was all some ploy to not be caught for cheating… but it’s really a different person. What was once a person he knew was now just someone who knew him. It was a strange feeling, they had the face of the one he loved, they almost sounded like them too— they just spoke differently. It felt so right and yet so wrong to have you there�� maybe he should have Zayne give you a physical checkup tomorrow, make sure you’re healthy and all.
Sylus tries to not care for you, after all… you’re not HIS, not the person he knew. But you acted the same in so many ways… hopefully this can all be fixed. For now though, he sits running his fingers through your hair as he reads a book.
~Timeskip~
It’s morning now and you groggily wake up to the smell of bacon. You’re sitting up, rubbing your sleep ridden eyes as a cheerful voice calls out from the kitchen.
“Oh! Sorry pips, did I wake you up?”
You’re standing now, walking over to Caleb with a yawn.
“Nono… I just woke up… whatcha making?”
He’s all smiles, you’re honestly not sure how he has so much energy at six in the morning but whatever.
“Just some bacon and eggs! Want some?”
He says with a grin, pointing to the plate of bacon and eggs. You pause, eyeing the plate.
“Were the eggs made first? I’m allergic and can’t really risk cross contamination… don’t wanna die today, y’know?” (I’m reminding y’all that this is ME written as if it’s YOU. We ain’t having eggs together homies 🫵🥲)
“Oh?? Uh… I think so? Maybe you shouldn’t eat them to be safe… I’ll make you something else!”
He’s saying while already looking for something else to make… at least they know where everything in this apartment is located, I’ve got no clue.
You’re trying to find bread and hear him mumbling something about how his version of you isn’t allergic to anything… guess that’s a difference.
He sees you rifling through literally every drawer and pats you on the head.
“You know you can ask for things… right?”
“Well- maybe I just wanted to see if I could do it myself, this is technically my apartment after all… but uh… where’s the bread?”
He’s laughing at you, pointing to the bread literally in the counter, you blind blind mf. Your shoulders almost slump in defeat as you pop some toast into the toaster and open the fridge. Huh… fully stocked… that’s nice, where’s the butter though…
As if reading your mind, Caleb walks behind you and grabs the butter for you.
“Here, it’s buried in there, you wouldn’t have found it alone”
You’re just kinda looking up at him, he’d got you cages in between him and the door- HE DID THE HOT THING WHERE THEY GRAB SOMETHING FOR YOU GANG. Ugh you forget that this is a game about flirting and they’re gonna be doing that.
“Oh… right, thank you”
You’re quickly scurrying away from him— and as everyone does, you get spooked by the damn toaster. That mf laughs at you AGAIN. Jerk…
Anyways you’re buttering your toast and watching as he plates his food, having made extra for the others… that’s sweet of him.
“I usually ask my version of you to work out in the mornings… so… would you want to join me for a morning workout after breakfast?”
You look up from your toast, a mouthful and crumbs on your face, he just smiles at you as you swallow your food and wipe your face.
“Mm- sure? Im not the strongest though so expect me to not keep up.”
Which gets you thinking… how in the hell are you going to do the job of the MC??? There’s no way you could deal with wanderers… would you being here jeopardize the job the MC has? Oh gods I mean you can technically rely on the guys for money but what if they get sick of you not being their MC. Not only that, is time passing back home? Will people realize you’re gone? Are you going to end up like an unsolved crime case?
“Hey… are you okay?”
His voice snaps you out of the despair trace you were in, you look up at him with wide eyes and see him looking at you concerned.
“Oh… yeah sorry I was just thinking… I’ll join you for the workout, it’ll probably take my mind off things.”
You’re trying to keep smiling, you’ve been obsessed with these men for months and they’re literally all here, you should just enjoy this in case it’s a dream, y’know?
He’d still visibly concerned but decides to drop it, finishing his food and grabbing yours and his empty plates, putting them in the sink to wash later.
“Well let’s go workout then shall we? You can sit on my back while I do pushups? Alright pips?”
OH BOY!!! You’re standing with a smile, nodding along and following him along to the door, pausing and looking down at your clothes.
“Ooooh wait I need to change my clothes first”
You begin to wander back to what you found out is your room, walking in to see Zayne buttoning up his shirt, and Rafayel and Xavier cuddled up in bed… well more like Xavier cuddling up to Rafayel but whatever they look kinda cute, y’know?
You smile at Zayne, he just nods to you, finishing putting his shirt on.
“There’s breakfast there, Caleb made eggs and Bacon, plus bread for toast”
You’re saying as you walk over to the closet, rifling through the clothes there. You know that MC has got to have something for a workout other than this damn hunters uniform… surely right?
Oh thank the gods they do. (I actually could not find one but I’m gonna guess MC has a workout outfit)
“Are you working out? Have you eaten breakfast yet?”
You turn to see Zayne, who is now hovering behind you.
“Oh! Yeah Caleb invited me to workout with him, I guess him and the me you know worked out in the mornings”
He just nods.
“Alright, enjoy that then, I’ll be back later, I’m going to try and stay with you overnight and whatnot to see if I can help figure out what’s going on, the rest of the men have also agreed they want to be around as well.”
You just nod, biting at your lip slightly. It’s sweet that they care about you enough, but you’re sure they’re only caring because they want their old lives back. You can’t really blame them though since you just want your life back too. Again, it’s nice to be here with men you’ve simped over… but you have friends, parents… ugh be positive damnit, we can’t be depressed all the time.
“Right okay…“
You’re trailing off, not really knowing how to proceed.
“The white haired man— Sylus I believe? He mentioned that I should give you a checkup at some point today. Would you rather visit the hospital during my lunch break or wait I til I get back?”
You raise an eyebrow at his words. Oh boy these mfs are in for a TREAT, they’ll never expect the amount of things wrong with me. Huh that begs the question, will my body function differently than theirs? I mean obviously I don’t have the protocore heart and whatever else… but is it different since they’re game characters?
OH MF YOU DIDNT ANSWER-
“Probably just when you get back, I’m not really sure how to get to the hospital after all.”
He just nods, patting you on the head and walking out.
“Sounds good, I’ll expect you to be ready when I get home then. Have a good day.”
HE’S SO STOIC???? I don’t know how to feel bout that but whATEVER YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING OUT.
You gather your clothes and move over to the bathroom, as you’re getting dressed you can hear Rafayel waking up and causing a ruckus over being cuddled by Xavier. God damn he’s loud…
You’re changed now and walk back to the living room, where Caleb is sat on the couch waiting for you.
“Ah! Finally pips! Felt like I was gonna have to search for you in case you had gotten lost!”
He’s honestly adjusted really well to the fact that I’m not the me he knows. I wonder if it’s a facade, I know damn well he cares a great deal for his version of me. STOP THINKING SO NEGATIVELY. DAMN.
Anyways you’re smiling slightly at his words, listening to him yap about what he’s planning to do for his workout, it’s just going in one ear and right out the other if I’m being real.
You leave the apartment and go to the gym that I guess the apartment has? (I’m making things up as I go at this point, things will just appear as I need them too)
He’s doing weights and stuff, you’re struggling to get through his tough workout (I’m crippled sorry gang, if I gotta struggle so do you 💔)
He notices this of course and slows his pace down, eventually stopping and patting you on the shoulder.
“Hey… you don’t need to do this y’know?”
You just sigh and look up at him defeated.
“Does your version of me do this every day? That bitch is ATHLETIC.”
He laughs at you and offers to just help him with his workout I stead, which you joyfully agree to, watching Caleb workout? YES PLEASE.
So now here you are, sat on his back and counting his pushups for him. Huh, suddenly the angst from earlier is gone as you watch his ARMS??? UGHHHH 🤩
He eventually finished that up though (UNFORTUNATELY) and just looks up at you… still on his back, making it just a lil bit hard to get up.
“Pips… you gotta move y’know?- I will just roll you over, you should know this.”
Oh we gotta know what that means.
“Hm? The ground is talking, how strange…”
You’re looking up at the ceiling with an almost expectant grin on your face, which he does not fail to realize. Well you asked for it.
Suddenly he has managed to roll you off him and have you underneath him. Don’t ask the logistics of it, just go with it.
You’re looking up at him with wide eyes, Christ it was fast— how in the hell did he do that???
He just chuckles and gets off of you, offering a hand out for you to take, which you do and he pulls you up. "l have to say, you don't act all that different, it's easy to forget you're not the same person I've known." OUCH????? OK ANGST IS BACK IG??? He's walking you back up to your apartment, the hand he used to help you up now wrapped around your shoulder "Oh?.. is that... a bad thing?" "I suppose it isn't! It makes you fun to be around!" "Ah okay..." You trail off, you know what you want to ask but... "What happens if you can't get... the other me back?" The words tumble out of your mouth before you can think to stop them, he almost freezes in his tracks but keeps walking, smile faltering slightly. "I'm... not sure..." "Would you stick around knowing I'm not the person you knew? Or are you just here to get them back?"
He doesn't know how to answer you, because of course he wants his version of you back... but would he just.. leave? He doesn't even know himself. "For now lets not worry about that, okay pips? I'm here now and that's all that really matters, we'll figure everything out eventually" You just nod, looking down and mumbling a small apology... well that's... sad. So anyways you finally make it back to the apartment, and head to your room to grab a basic outfit.
Xavier is STILL asleep- does this mf have narcolepsy??? Whatever, you grab your outfit and turn to go to the bathroom, you need a shower to think again, plus you smell like sweat.
The door to the bathroom is closed when you get there, you knock only to hear Rafayel telling you to come in. You walk in and OH MY STARS-
“OH- sorry didn’t realize you would be IN the bath- I can come back later I’m so sorry-“
He cuts you off with a wave of his hand.
“No no it’s okay, did you need something?”
He’s asking with a slight tilt to his head. Dear gods man he is sculpted like a god, probably because he literally is one- STOP STARING.
You manage to snap yourself out of it, face absolutely red and looking down at the clothes in your hands.
“Sorry I was just trying to shower and get dressed- I can do so later-“
He’s sitting up in the bathtub, motioning for you to come closer.
“You can come bathe with me if you’d like? I don’t mind sharing.”
SIR?????? You are red as a lobster and I fear he is reveling in this fact— HOW IS HE SO CALM ABOUT THIS????
“No- that’s fine I’ll just… see myself out… thanks for the offer though”
You manage to mumble out, looking anywhere but at him and finally turning yer butt around to walk out. You hear him chuckle behind you and call out to you as you shut the door, playful as ever.
“Your loss Mx bodyguard!!”
TEASING MF. Ok anyways we need to find somewhere else to change it seems. So you opt to just shut yourself in the little closet and get changed. Xavier is still asleep in bed, which is kinda cute, he’s out like a ROCK. Honestly and earthquake could pass through and not much would happen I fear.
You wander around the place, Caleb, Zayne and Sylus are all out somewhere, Rafayel is in the bath and Xavier is asleep. There’s… not much to do.
You’re tired though and you slept on the couch, so you find yourself walking over to your room and climbing into bed opposite to Xavier.
You pass right out.
—————————————
Gang I’ll be honest, you could FEEL it falling apart at the end😭‼️
In my defense, it’s almost eight in the morning and I have not slept.
I wrote myself into a bit of a corner too since there’s like… nothing going on ‼️‼️‼️
I also do not know how to write seggsy time so I had to QUICKLY 180 from that.
Anyways I have ideas for another part, if people don’t burn me at the stake for being a crap writer I might add another part to this disaster LMAO
Okok yap session is over, thank you for reading this !! 🤩
Tag list ?!?!
@lunia-likes-pomegranet
#love and deepspace#lads caleb#love and deepspace caleb#caleb x reader#lads#lads sylus#lads x reader#lads xavier#lads zayne#lads rafayel#love and deepspace sylus#sylus#xavier love and deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#rafayel x reader#zayne x reader#xavier x reader#lads mc#love and deepspace isekai#isekai#sylus x reader#zayne#caleb#Xavier#Rafayel#love and deepspace mc#i am cringe but i am free#x reader#x mc
22 notes
·
View notes
Text

it's been over a week but i legit haven't stopped thinking about this
#because i think it doesn't just apply to book publishing but really any kind of writing#including fanfiction#especially in current fandom times when everything feels just so fast paced#and it's SO easy to fall into this whole mindset of believing you gotta keep up with this pace#a lot of smart people have said a lot of smart things about the current state of fandom and i won't fall into a rant here#but i too often have to remind myself that me writing is supposed to be fun and not a fucking race#that i'm not competing with anyone#that i'm not creating 'content' to be consumed like some fast food#that there's no such thing as a flop fic if it was written with love and drive behind it#and yeah the jealousy man#it's an ugly feeling no matter which end you're on#comparison is a knife which we inevitably walk into#i love my writer friends to death and i will always always always cheer for them bc no one else will get this#but we're all just humans with very real and sometimes ugly emotions and i wish we could talk about this more openly#at the end of the day we want to be seen and acknowledged and we're our very own worst critics#ugh i have too many thoughts about this all#i need to lie down and feel normal again#lale.txt
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
random omegaverse thought:
There must be people who experience specific instinct things with indifference or boredom.
Procreative cycle coming up? "Crap, I've got plans this weekend...stupid skip weeks."
Caught an intriguing scent while walking? "But I need to get to work! Shut up brain."
Had a snap response to a distressed sound? "Who was it?! ...right, it's my day off, I can go back to sleep."
Somebody growled at them? "Kid, I'm not a rival, that's my sibling."
Super cozy cuddle session happening nearby? "I'm gonna pass tonight guys, no social battery left, maybe next time."
Group of friends heading out to flirt and check out other singles? "I'm coming with you but only to make sure you all get home safe."
Setting where fated mates or soul bonds or permanent marks are a thing? "Meh. I don't really want one or care if I ever get one."
People in the actual omegaverse would get as bored of their stuff, as we do of ours, you know? It could be interesting to see that kind of vibe in fics. Biological demands faced with all the excitement of paying bills or doing laundry or tying your shoes.
Even if that kind of energy might not drive a plot, it could be interesting to have as a contrast to the people who do have big feelings about them - good or bad.
There's the friends who can't wait til they have a pack of their own, and the one friend who isn't against it but couldn't care less. There's the group in the office who are all about scent compatibility tests and figuring out one's best match and what sprays most highlight it, and the coworker who has no intentions on putting that much effort in. There are parents who hover and protect their offspring by scenting them multiple times a day, and others who don't see what the fuss is as long as it's done in the morning.
...also: packs with introverts who show care by giving each other space. So often, closeness is depicted through physical touch and tactile affection, but comfortable silence is meaningful too. Knowing people are near, but not having to interact until you're ready. Sitting in the same room doing different things, knowing that all it takes is a "hey, look at this" to share what you're up to. People understanding and accepting each other's differing or fluctuating needs for how and when to recharge. Seeing somebody reaching out or sharing space, beyond what's their norm, as a signal of the fact that they care.
#omegaverse worldbuilding#a/b/o worldbuilding#a/b/o dynamics#kinda#not gonna tag sfw though it mostly is#heat/rut mention#twovvie chatters#hi its me im introverts#a version of me in omegaverse would love to live in a pack house#as long as i could have a space to myself#people nearby? good! people around all the time? uhhhh#even my family knows that after so many hours of fun family party#i'm gonna disappear to whatever room has the fewest people in it#or find a random corner and start reading#“oh! i didnt know you were here” yes that was the plan#also i just find the idea of someone#who couldnt care less about pairing up#to be funniest in a setting where that's a big deal#“too bad you havent found a mate yet” “no i already know who it is”#“congrats! when do we meet them?” “oh i didnt mean that i'm going to date them. i just know who it is.”#“but i thought you were single?” “yup.” “don't you want a mate?” “nah too annoying.”#cycle day? nice i get a free day off work#cycle day? ugh not this again#the duality of man (a/b/o edition)#granted i hc heats/ruts as heightened libido and greater fertility#because i dislike elements of heats/ruts that (imo) mess with people's ability to freely consent#if the only non-sexual options are pain or solitude and the species needs compaionship as much or more as regular humans#then not being able to or being unwilling to is like a punishment for those people#sure stress or other needs can short circuit it (irl) but theres plenty of reasons to not be interested that arent “you have a problem”#surely i'm not the only person who reacts to various body requests with “later i'm busy” right?
75 notes
·
View notes
Text
im trying not to sound like a broken record but my GOD I swear this game stays fresh even after replays. I thought I was done playing HFW but after seeing this cutscene i think I’m gonna have to schedule a replay of it this year…”I only wish that I could hear your voice again” AND SHE DOES!!!! SHE FUCKING DOES!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭
#horizon zero dawn#horizon#hzd#just you wait Gaia Aloy’s comingggggg 😭😭#I didn’t get a chance to replay HZD before FW came out but man#playing HZD after FW still opens your eyes to so many things mentioned in the sequel#I had completely forgotten far zenith and the odyssey are mentioned here#as well as the utaru and the tenakth!!!#junk#im also trying not to stop and post after every cutscene I see because I have many thoughts#otherwise I’ll never finish this run lol#ALSO watching all of this unfold again just drives me crazy thinking about#how the hell they’re gonna fit all of this in the movie#ugh maybe a series would have been better instead#the horizon world is just too damn big!!! so many things to explore and talk about!!#that movie better be at least two hours long
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
Genuinely intrigued by the potential of Peri and Irep's dynamic but only in a platonic way so I end up not vibing with the fandom's portrayal of it 😔😔😔
(No but listen LISTEN they were kinda-almost-friends when we last saw them in FOP, yeah? Now they're enemies, with both actively fighting each other, and Irep going so far as to try and kill Peri's parents. What happened? When? What influenced it? Did they ever become friends, or did it nosedive the moment the cameras turned off? What about Sammy? How do Irep's parents factor into this? Could it ever be fixed? There's just so much we haven't seen, and romance just feels like too easy a solution to me. Let their friendship be easy to break, fragile. Let them have to work to keep the connection. Fairies and Anti-Fairies are literally made to be opposites, so what happens when two genuinely and truly become friends?)
((and yeah I guess a lot of this could factor into a romantic angle but ALAS the fandom seems to be leaning heavily into the funny toxic yaoi angle 😔 I don't mind it! By all means, please have your very harmless fun! But it ain't my jam :P Perhaps I'll have to write a oneshot myself...))
(((see tags for more rambles i guess. whoops a bitch spoke too much in there as he always does)))
#i'm banned (self inflicted) from writing long fics until i finish this one i'm working on#and honestly I might keep the ban afterwards i am SO BAD at working on long fics. never finished one ever#oneshot guy thru and thru. but painfully. disastrously. i have so many long fic ideas...#anyway I like to think that they did become friends#and then not friends. and then friends again. and then not friends. and then-#and sometimes it was Peri's fault but a lot of the times it was Irep not feeling like he was allowed to be Peri's friend#and doing something to break it off#but Peri would keep trying to be his friend or Irep would realize that he still wants to be#but one day. Peri just gave up#he was tired of this back and forth. of never knowing if he was gonna be friends with this guy tomorrow or not#so he stopped trying. decided that if Irep wanted to be friends again HE would have to be the one to try and repair it#and also give him an apology maybe. not for breaking off the friendship again just for all the fucking murder attempts#(''if i die you die too dumbass-'')#unforch this happened to line up with Irep finally reconnecting with Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda again#and with them discouraging being friends with fairies + peri not trying to fix it this time... it. uh. kinda broke it off for good#('maybe not for good. maybe there's a chance. maybe Irep would-... ugh. it's not worth thinking about...')#Sammy's still friends with both of them though. It is Not Fun#gives Sammy my childhood experience of my two fighting friends wanting to sit with me at lunch but refusing to talk to each other#okay damn this post got long af. did not realize i had thought about this so much until i practically dropped a fic down here#anyway. actual tags? actual tags#fop#fairly oddparents#the fairly oddparents#peri fop#irep fop#peri fairywinkle-cosma#uh. do ppl search irep's full name... augh#irep anti-fairywinkle-anti-cosma#congrats elkniwirep your name fucking sucks. it's awful#a new wish
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think the worst part about being disabled is just how MANY issues you get in one go. Like a 9-for-1 type of deal but for shit you'd rather not deal with but now you're stuck with it. And on one hand I'd love for that to not become my entire personality! Yet at the same time every little thing decides how I'm interacting with the world as a whole and everything and everyone around me, you cannot remove those things from the equation and so there's nothing to do but to try and quell the shame and embarrassment in favour of actually growing a psychological spine that's built better than my physical one. The mourning for all the hopes and ambitions you had to give up in order to survive is an ongoing process of mourning but the time will pass anyway and so all one can do is keep going and keep surviving.
#im not even gonna list all the issues cause that will make me feel like shit#but its all just so much i feel like i have no bandwidth for anything else#im slightly more functional during warm months and the rest is just hibernation#which doesnt mesh well when youre an overly ambitious and productive and energetic outdoors person at your core lol#ugh its so annoying#i cant distract myself from all thesr thoughts while trapped in my bed so fuck me i guess LMAO#at this point im too tired to even feel sorry about complaining about all this#my blog my posta i do what i want#either there are other disabled and chronically ill people here who get it#or there are abled people who *should* actively hear about it and what its like#i promise you i have many qualities being ill and disabled is just one of those lol#silvi talks
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I need Allison shivering and flushed from a fever and so delirioussssss
#i am having so many delicious whump thoughts. i need to start writing#but i also want to listen to spirit. and more counter measures#AND i had counseling today and made a weekly plan with the therapist. and fridays have two hours of studying now and i haven't done those#very interesting experience that btw. because I started making one like i always do#and she just fucking read me and told me to stop. because I need one that is small enough i can do it#so i have only five hours studying actually planned in the week#also i want to talk about all the beautiful torture scenarios in my brain but i want to write them too#and i don't want to tease stuff if i may not actually get around to writing it#ugh. DECISIONS#someone tell me what to do#jae says stuff
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes I make a post and then have to save it to drafts so I can gauge if it’s too shallow/flippant for me to share with the general public.
#I love sharing all my true thoughts akskkskdjd#but a lot of my true thoughts are shallow! and flippant! and mean!#I have one on a former crush that I’m just ‘does this need to be said Maria DOES IT’#it probably doesn’t#as you can imagine this quality is both a strength and a huge liability in my work as a high school teacher#this is how my students tracked down my former college crush#because I accidentally gave them too much information because I simply love telling funny personal stories#wlldkkkekekekekkekekeke#(don’t worry nothing happened except the kids being like ‘Miss K. you have to shoot your shot!!!!!!!!’#the thing is. I HAD FORGOTTEN HIS LAST NAME#which is why I THOUGHT I WAS SAFE#but their little stalker minds triangulated the information available to them#and they found him#ugh it is for real such a flying too close to the sun trait of mine#because there is literally nothing I love more on this earth than making a lofty profound point and then immediately illustrating it#with something kind of mundane and ridiculous from the pantry closet of things that have happened to me#so I was SPEAKING ON LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT#and suddenly we were talking about Tyler from Italian 101#<<<<> SEE I DID IT AGAIN#but the personal details are what make it both fun and funny#anyway I’m just rambling#but sometimes I am like ‘there are too many strangers reading this blog you HAVE to get it together’
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think the reason why im so drawn to spirit tracks and pkmn scarvi is that having the legendary/princess as a companion rather than a goal that marks the games completion makes me feel satisfied the way i would after helping a friend
my brother always teases me about how I still havent finished botw after almost 7 years bc "id rather be out picking flowers" which i wont say is untrue. and yes i know Zeldas been holding off ganon for 100 years, yes i can get some sort of idea what her relationship with link was like by recalling memories and going through her diary. ive always loved botw for its unique storytelling and setting which makes it stand out, because it lets you get to know who you're saving.
but because theyre memories, it only works if theres something for the player to investigate that already happened. its retroactive (but effective nonetheless)
on the other hand, spirit tracks does something similar but instead of having the player try to piece together memories and interpret them as a spectator, you actually have an opportunity to get to know zelda yourself by talking to her and working together. besides making it a gameplay mechanic, giving the player control over how they interact with zelda makes it so much more personable.
and I find that making the goal feel personal instead of an obligation gives me more of a reason to work towards it. I know what kind of person botw zelda was but as the player, shes still very much a stranger to me. but spirit tracks zelda? thats my friend!!!! she invited me to go to the beach after we get her body back!!! i dont want to whip her to make her move faster thats mean :(
you know how hostage negotiators are trained to introduce themselves and get to know the person theyre negotiating with because its harder to hurt someone when you know what their favorite food is? its kinda like that, because it feels like im helping a friend than being told or led to do smth
and although i havent played scarvi myself, i feel an attachment to koraidon and miraidon even just watching playthrough clips because its like!! thats my weird scaly dog!! it loves sandwiches and we're friends!!! you know!!!!!!
#i dont normally write long posts like this but i think ive been trying to put this into words for a long time and it finally happened#my cloth mother spirit tracks zelda and my wire mother lttp zelda#ACTUALLY ANOTHER THING when i was a kid i always felt guilty when i had to catch the legendary at the end of the game#because to me it was like 'i know none of this is real but if i capture you and have you under my thumb am i robbing the world of something#normal thoughts for a 10 year old to have#when i talked to my brother abt this he was like 'i mean yeah the point is to dunk on the NPCs what were you expecting' and i mean i think#i get that its supposed to feel rewarding because the legendary is THE reward. but it doesnt feel right and i dislike he feeling of pushing#others down to get ahead. i guess u can argue sun/moon does smth similar where you have nebby with lillie#but lillie still ends up handing nebby over to the player and i STILL feel bad because im like shit man you raised that little guy#and koraidon/miraidon feels less like a reward but more like overpowered motorcycle lizard that is just so oupydog. and i love him#and in spirit tracks i went out of my way doing some of the side quests bc zelda asked nicely and honestly that was enough for me#i think all of this boils down to.. i feel very protective abt things i care abt so stories that give me a reason to care hits harder#this can also go the other way bc i CRIED when i finished links awakening because i KNEW every person and im responsible for#literally the end of their world. like. there was a family with 5 kids. marin loved singing and cared about me. she was my FRIEND#i just. ugh. i have too many feelings rn. i kinda wanna draw more spirit tracks link and zelda i think that wld make me feel better#yapping#diary#loz#pokemon
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m going to make my aai1 final thoughts post soon hold me to it guys
#shut up abe#aai1#ace attorney#I have sooo many thoughts about it but I’m too lazy to write it all out ugh
8 notes
·
View notes
Text


i missed you so much hong seunghan.
#just saw the news about his aparent solo debut … very confused. very frustrated. and feeling way too much all at once. but …#if one things for sure … i missed seeing his face SO MUCH. i missed him In General so much …#i just really miss him.#seunghan#hong seunghan#and … for one final time … i guess? i’ll tag this post as:#riize#wonbiinz.posts#… man … honestly a little unsure of what to do with this blog … i guess i’ll decide a little later …#once more things unfold about … just … This Entire Situation As A Whole … ugh.#i have so many thoughts and feelings. and have no clue how to phrase them or express them properly.#yes i am sad. and frustrated … but i must admit - seeing new photos of him brough quite the smile to my face … my bubble boy ❤️🩹
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
im not sorry for the kind of person i will become when wriothesley gets released
#wriolette#neuvithesley#ngl kinda hate that tag. ugh. pain in the ass to spell scrambles my brain#genshin#crow.txt#snippets#not sfw#uhhh i think thats all the relevant tags. sorry it will happen again oh my god i love them listen....#i have many thoughts. so many#yeah yeah i cant get an accurate read on wrios personality yet bc hes not REAL yet. but im so impatient i love him so bad#playstyle design presuned lore everything im going to EAT him.#neuvi too but im way less insane about him. hes definitely good but not as Crow Bait. wrio is literally just. so much shit i go crazy over#also would love to know how to pronounce That bc. boy howdy huh.#also how is bottom wrio already so hardcore underrated. pleaseplease please youte nothing. both ways are good. take my hand.
60 notes
·
View notes
Text
hello chat i am going to be a hater in tags for a moment (jst finished natlan act IV)
#snobrambles#wow /neg#i heard the story was bad but WOWWW#hoyo you are lost potential the company#you took the topic of war and had so many different routes and perspectives to look into and you went with power of friendship#I KNEW IT WAS POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BC I HEARD MOOTS TALK ABOUT IT BUT I DIDNT THINK ITD BE SO ABRUPT?#im not even mad im just mildly annoyed#there were parts i liked like where youd see differences depending on what you decide to do#like chosing to save one or the other and seeing the consequences#i thought that was neat#other thing i liked was diff chars talking about how witnessing all this scarred them but. i wish they fed into that more#and actually SHOWED that feeling rather than just going “wow! so im traumatized now”#and dude you couldve done more with the ancient names and mauvikas past.#like you couldve at least made it so that the six heros reminded her of the people she knew#give us a bit of sorrow instead of her walking around imagining her old friends and smiling bc tbh that made me feel nothing#and god the six heros thing did not feel well earned#its yae all over again in the sense that it felt like everything got solved way too easily#like wtf were all those losses for. it felt pointless#paimon getting emotional and us probably seperating in the next act was somewhat intriguing#i feel nothing for any of the chars except kinich but thats bc i find him funny#ugh. this story couldve been so much better#war itself is such an interesting topic in stories and it has so much potential and they absolutely fumbled and flunked it#also chuychus death was so abrupt and chasca crashing out made me laugh. sorry. ik it was supposed to be sad but i felt nothing#she was holding back her inner alpha wolf THE GACHA ALLEGATIONS ARE NOT ENDING#i felt nothing most of the time#the only strong feeling i felt throughout the quest was annoyance (cough mainly bc of citlali cough)#dude even the fake sky part felt underwhelming#i dont like how they brought it up out of nowhere and then barely adressed it#“anomaly” ok. ig. so what was all that buildup abt the fake sky for. only to show it and then shove it under the rug#i have more thoughts but tumblrs going to eat my tags to tl;dr: (furina voice) BOOOOOORING
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've been thinking about why Natsume Takashi's family called "Natsume" his mother and grandmother family name and not his father which normally should've been ??
We've always took this name for granted so we never question it even when we know about his family's history. I speak of myself that I never question it or find it weird till now ><
I feel it was something that triggered this idea suddenly but can't remember which event or scene did, or was it a late realization on my part or was it Seiji's remark in that scene hmmmm
I believe I find it weird because he had the same family name as Reiko herself .. since if Reiko was married then she too would go by her husband family's name thus her daughter too .. but Natsume had the same family as his grandmother not his mother which led to many questions in my mind either about him or Reiko but let's focus on Natsume for now …
It's weird, isn't it ?? or am I the only one that think that ??
It's known that the wife takes her husband's family name after getting married. also, his father is known unlike his mother's mysterious father so there's no reason to use his mother's family name. plus, his mother was the first to die too and he mostly was raised by his father, so it wasn't the other way around for him to maybe had his mother's family name.
Why give him his mother's family name then ?
his name "Natsume" Takashi wasn't passed down by only the yokai to link him to Reiko. I mean this name isn't exclusive in the yokai side of the world for it to make sense why he had this family name, even in the human world he's known as "Natsume".

Then I remember the orphanage incident that Seiji mentioned … how his relative never put him in one again in fear he might ruin their family image in society given how weird he is that he was kicked out of the orphanage .. "let's keep this disgrace within the family" they said (I so wanna kill them for this remark)
Do you think that's why they changed his family's name after his father's death ? So, they can blame it all on the other family "he's crazy like his grandmother, our family has no such weirdo" or to have an escape route by saying "he's not from the family" .. thus if he did another problem …. oooooooh wait … what if they changed his family name AFTER the orphanage incident ??? so that if he did another big incident or his name get to be known publicly then this name won't trace back to their family or image ?? ( this idea just clicked right now and .. I .. it make sense that I hate it ugh)
I'll stop here, I feel more damaged the more I think or talk about this and sure hope this whole idea in unfounded > - >
can someone tell me it makes no sense and nothing is weird in him going by his grandmother's family ?? T^T
this idea is painful if it's true >-<
NATSUME DOESN'T DERSERVE ALL OF THIS !!!
#natsume yuujinchou#natsuyuu#natsume takashi#about Reiko ...#we know the father of Natsume's mother is unknown so maybe that why her daughter goes by her mother's family#I believe the father is known yet Reiko didn't give her daughter her father name .. so why ?#after he died ? to protect her daughter from her husband's family ?#or she didn't get married in the first place ??#he's an exorcist .. so if his family is well-known then I can see her maybe not wanting to link her daughter to them for reasons#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I'M LOSING MY MIND HERE#I HAVE MANY QUESTIONS AND IDEAS !!!#WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU REIKO ???!!!!!#IS HER HUSBAND'S FAMILY THE ONE THAT KILLED HER ???#THAT 'S WHY AFTER HER HUSBAND DEATH ....#STOP ME !!! JUST STOP THINKING TOO MUCH FOR THIS !!!!#ugh ... the more I think the more I lose my mind ...#when are we getting some kind of answers ??#any kind pleaase !!!!!#I'll go and lie down ... I need a rest#I wonder if someone gonna find those thought of mine making any sense at all#or maybe I'm over thinking things again ....#ugh
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
stories about redemption and redeeming even the worst characters, they could never make me hate you
#i mean they can be badly written BUT just BECAUSE they redeem characters? fuck you i love that shit#FUCK punishment. LOVE redemption#my post#tropes#steven universe? i love that shit. ive even seen people hate owl house for redeeming amity. first of all shes 14-#but seriously idc i love that shit#ALSO. people keep complaining about 'oh wah wah movies about generational trauma who cares' fuck you#FUCK YOUUU#that shit fucks severely and its actually so needed if you ask me and i LOVE this turn in narratives were having#look. i can appreciate a villain like the rest of them. they have their place and they can be super fun and cool#but we definitely need these new stories too#i dont know how to put into words how i feel ugh. i have so many thoughts about this#but also can you imagine hating a show for redeeming a teenager who. at most. was a jerk to a peer#like i get it. rich girl redeemed trope. but like. come on. also all the ones i can think of ARE TEENAGERS. shut the fuck up#complain about it when its an adult in charge of a corrupt company if youre going to complain at all#not that i agree that its not worth it even then if its done well#but like. come on
6 notes
·
View notes