#in case that previous post of mine was missed

[babymetaldoll]

Are you mine - Chapter five: “Our flaws are who we really are”

Summary: Spencer and (Y/N) have to return to work, and for once, the idea isn't appealing to any of them. There is a new member in the team...  Word count: 6.010 Warnings: Nothing but some Criminal Minds case info and some curses. A/N:  Is it weird to consider a 6K words chapter "short"?

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Previous chapter | Next chapter (post date: September 25th)

(Y/N)’s point of view

Because being a mother, a wife, an FBI S.S.A. and part of the BAU wasn’t stressful enough, I decided to finish my Ph.D. after Raven was born. I still had one more year left, but my husband supported me to fish it.

After getting shot in the neck that year, Spencer took a month off and we returned to the BAU together. I will never forget the first day we left Raven with my mom at our place. Spencer wouldn’t let our baby go that morning. We were standing in the middle of our living room, mom stared at us, nearly chuckling, as my husband kept talking to Raven, explaining what would happen.

- “So, remember what I told you, Raven. You are going to stay here with your Nana until we come back from work. If things go well, we won’t go out of town on a case today.”

- “Things are going to go well.”- Mom pointed out, but I guess neither of us was paying attention to her. I kissed Raven’s forehead one more time and sighed.

- “I love you, birdie. Be good with Nana, ok?”

- “She is three months old. She can’t be naughty.”- Mom added, chortling.

- “She can. Trust me.”- I turned to her and shook my head.

- “Ok kids, you are running late. Give me my granddaughter.”- Mom stood next to us and reached out her arms to grab Raven. But Spencer didn’t move. He held our baby closer to his chest and sighed, staring at her big, brown eyes.

- “I love you so much.”- he whispered against her forehead as he kissed her carefully.- “Dad will be thinking of you all day long.”

It melted my heart to watch him being so loving and sweet with our baby girl. I always knew he was going to be a good dad, but watching him in action was a completely different thing. It was heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. I knew he didn’t want to leave her alone, because of course, neither did I. But we had to.

Mom walked to him and literally took Raven from his hands. Spencer looked at her and frowned, ready to argue. But stopped himself in his tracks. He knew he had to let her go that morning, even when it hurt.

- “We are going to be fine.”- mom assured us with a big smile. - “I’ll call you at noon, and you can text me whenever you want. Now go there and be heroes. Make your baby proud.”

And I guess, that’s something Spencer loves doing, ‘cos after he kissed Raven one last time, he held my hand and headed to the door.

- “Did you realize this is the longest we’ve been alone in over three months?”- I said as I sipped my coffee, and watched Spencer smiling as he drove us to work.

- “I know. It’s weird.”- he replied and chuckled. - “We should get more mommy and daddy alone time.”- I raised an eyebrow as I heard those words and opened my mouth to tease him about his kinks, but the phone interrupted me and made me skip a bit.

- “Is it your mom?”- Spencer asked right away.

- “No, it’s Garcia. Hey Pen, what is it?”

- “Are you guys coming?”- she asked right away.

- “Yeah, we just got late waiting for my mom, ‘cos she is staying with Raven. Why? Do we have a case?”

- “No, I’m just making sure you two are coming today. We miss you.”- I giggled and shook my head, though I knew Penelope couldn’t see me.

- “We’ll be there in ten.”

- “Everything ok?”- my husband asked. - “Do we have to go straight to the jet?”

- “No, she was just anxious to know if we were coming.”

- “I hope she baked us cupcakes.”

- “I’m sure she did.”- I replied and rubbed his leg with my left hand as he drove. We hummed to the song on the radio, the first non-kid song we had heard in weeks, and we drank our mugs of coffee as we got to work.

- “I miss her already.”- I whispered after a few minutes of silence.

- “I didn’t want to tell you, but I miss her too.”- Spencer replied and we both sighed.

- “But she is going to be ok.”- I assured her- “Mom is a pro.”

- “Yeah, I know. I’m glad Sofia can help us, otherwise, I would have lost my mind. I could never leave her at daycare. I would have rather taken her to the BAU with us than leave her with strangers.”

- “You know we will have to send her to school eventually.”- I teased Spencer and tried not to laugh as he parked in our old parking spot at work and neither of us moved for a few seconds.

- “I know she will eventually have to go to school, but I am not ready to think of that today.”- my husband whispered. I looked at him and nodded, holding his hand.

- “One day at a time.”- I replied and cut him a smile.

- “One day at a time.”- he repeated and leaned in to crush his mouth on mine. His kiss was sweet and slow, he took his time, rubbing his lips against mine and tasting me.

- “Come on kid!!”- and of course, Morgan had to ruin it all. - “Let the lady go and get to work!”- he teased as he knocked on our window, nearly killing us with a heart attack.

- “We hadn’t had a minute alone since Raven was born, and you had to interrupt us!”- I argued as soon as I stepped out of the car. Derek chuckled and opened his arms, giving me a triple hug before I could continue talking.

- “I missed you, pretty girl. How is my baby girl?”

- “She is so big! She started grabbing everything and putting it in her mouth. She is so cute!”- I quickly replied and nearly took my phone to show him the million pictures we had. But I stopped on time. I had promised myself I wasn’t going to be that kind of mom, pushing their baby pictures on everybody’s face. I always hated that, and I didn’t want people to hate me as well. At that minute, all I really wanted was to come back to work and find everything just as we had left it.

Of course, it wasn’t. The only constant at the BAU, I guess, was change.

Garcia was, in fact, waiting for us with homemade cupcakes and cookies. That was the sweet part of our morning. Then came the meeting with Hotch, to catch up with everything that had happened when we had been away. He told us about Alex Blake’s departure, how she had quit the FBI and decided to move to Boston, with her husband, and teach full-time. We both knew it, she had called us to deliver the news before leaving, and though we invited her over, I knew it was too much for her to see Spencer again. She had developed a motherly bond with him, and watching him get hurt had pulled a string in her. One she didn’t want to relive. I guess some wounds are not meant to heal. The BAU can cause you that.

- “And are we getting a new teammate?”- I asked Hotch, and he nodded immediately.

- “Yes, but so far I’ve interviewed nine people, and I still haven’t found the right one.”

- “Nine? Have you tried with someone we know? Maybe bringing back Emily.”- Spencer suggested, reading my mind.

- “I already tried, she is not interested at the moment. But if things go well tomorrow, we might get a new member. Despite all that, today you just have to worry about catching up with work. You’ve been out for a long while, and we needed you back.”

- “We are ready.”- I replied and stood up from my chair right away. - “Anything else, sir?”

- “I just wanted to make it clear I can’t keep any of you in Quantico anymore. You’ll have to start traveling to the cases with us. Are you both ready for that?”

I knew neither of us wanted to do it, but we had to. It was our job, and we had to do it. So we agreed, stood up, and walked back to our desks.

- “We missed you here.”- JJ said from her desk and smiled at us. - “It was too quiet without your facts, Spence.”

- “It’s nice coming back.”- my husband replied with a warm smile. I looked at him and sighed at the sight of the pictures on his desk. He had three family pictures framed, one from our wedding, one from our first Comic Con together a million years ago, and one with Raven. Our first picture as a family. My phone hummed and a picture of mom and Raven playing made my day. So I walked to my husband and interrupted whatever he was talking about with JJ to show him the picture. He smiled and chuckled, pleased to see our baby girl was having a good time with her grandma.

Spencer’s point of view

Going back to work after Raven was born was a mistake. Now that I see it in retrospect, that was the moment we should have stopped. I could have started teaching full-time, like (Y/N) wanted me to do. And she would have finished her Ph.D. and might even have taught with me. We could have had a different life. More calm, at home. We wouldn’t have missed all the important moments in Raven’s life like we did. We would have been there when she needed us.

We wouldn't have ended as wounded as we did. With more emotional scars than we could ever deal with. On the bright side, at least we are still together. Despite the hell we went through.

The newest team member was Kate Callahan. We had seen her around in some FBI get-togethers like the time we all did karaoke at Rossi’s favorite bar. (Y/N) remembered that when we bumped into her the following morning, at the elevator.

- “You were singing karaoke at the Benjamin the night it closed.”- (Y/N) pointed out as the three of us shared the elevator on our way to the 6th floor. That’s how I guessed Hotch was about to interview her for the position.

- “I was! Good memory.”- Kate smiled at us and added - “Billy Joel might have died a little that night.”

- “Sadly he was not the only one.”- I replied and chuckled. - “He got the team started, but we went on to do a six-song set.”

- “The 80s took a fatal hit if I remember correctly.”- Kate said, chuckling along with my wife, and somehow I realized Kate would make an amazing match with ma cherie. They shared a very similar sarcastic sense of humor.

- “Have you seen the place that took over?”- she asked us and both of us shook our heads at the same time. Since we had turned into parents, our social life was basically nonexistent. - “It's like techno and twerking.”

- “It's not really my crowd.”- I replied and Kate turned to me immediately, shocked by my answer.

- “What? You don't twerk?”- I frowned and shook my head, somehow embarrassed by my own answer. Meanwhile, my wife had to cover her mouth so as not to laugh in my face.

- “I was... I was kidding.”- Kate explained, surprised I hadn’t got it. - “I don't twerk.”

- “Neither do we, don't worry”- my wife added and chuckled. The three of us walked out of the elevator and I hurried to open the door for Kate and my wife.

- “Ah. A gentleman and a scholar.”- Callahan pointed out and I just smiled.

- “Agent Hotchner's office is the first one at the top of the stairs.”- I said and though she looked at me confused I knew why she was there, she just thanked me and walked away.

- “Good luck!”- (Y/N) said and smiled at her. Kate nodded and disappeared.

- “We have to schedule Raven’s next pediatrician appointment.”- I said, leaving my things on my desk and turning to look at my wife, who just nodded. - “I’ll call the doctor's office at lunchtime, ok?”-I wrote it down though I knew I wasn’t going to forget it. (Y/N) simply stared at me and sighed.

- “Let’s pray we are in town to take Raven to that appointment. I don’t wanna miss it.”- I was about to tell my wife we couldn’t foresee how things would go in the BAU when Rossi, JJ, Penelope, and Derek walked into the bullpen, all of them talking at the same time.

- “Hotch talked to Emily.”- JJ announced and I turned to my wife knowing Em wasn’t planning on returning to the team.

- “And?”- Garcia was clearly excited by what she had just heard.

- “She just doesn't want to come back.”- Rossi killed all her hopes with just one sentence. I took a few steps closer to the team as I heard Pen arguing with David’s words.

- “Why? She loves us!”

- “For what it's worth, Hotch is interviewing someone we've met before.”- I announced and (Y/N) nodded.

- “He is?”- JJ asked right away and everybody turned to Hotch’s office to try to catch a glimpse of the candidate.

- “Yes. And it’s someone we actually like”- (Y/N) added from her desk. I turned to her and she smiled back.

- “How many candidates is that now?”- Derek asked

- “This one makes lucky number 10.”- Rossi announced and my Garcia turned to him shocked.

- “Ten candidates? Are you for real? And no one ever mentioned that? See, this is what happens when I don't sleep. I miss things.”- Pen whispered and I wondered why she wasn't sleeping well. But I didn’t get to ask, she just continued talking. - “Now can someone tell me who this person is? Are they nice? Why is that the first question I always ask?”

Pen started rambling as my wife explained we had bumped into agent Callahan on the way over. All of our friends nodded as she told us what had happened until JJ mentioned the one fact I wished we all could have forgotten.

- “Didn’t she use to work with Seaver? At Andy Swan’s Unit?”

- “What?”- (Y/N) asked as her face fell- “She is Seaver’s friend?”

- “You know, pretty girl, that simple fact doesn’t mean she has to be your enemy.”- Derek explained with a silly grin on his face. (Y/N) just turned to him and raised an eyebrow.

- “Of course, it doesn’t”.- she whispered and made a short pause before she added - “But did you just meet me or what?”- I looked at my wife and raised an eyebrow. She just smiled and shook her head.

- “You already liked her, face it.”- I whispered and (Y/N) sighed.

- “Yeah… but what if Seaver talked shit about me ‘cos I was mean to her when she was part of the team.”

- “Then she wouldn’t be lying.”- JJ replied and my wife glared at her immediately- “What? you know you weren’t nice.”

- “I know that, but you weren’t here to witness the whole deal, so you don’t know the whole story.”- the way (Y/N) nearly spat those words on JJ’s face left me speechless. And JJ didn’t know how to react either. So she just turned around and looked at me, shocked.

- “Come on, don’t argue.”- Pen said and stood between JJ and my wife. - “We have to stay together, we are a team, and we might be getting a new member.”- her cell phone finished her speech and her face went pale in a second.

- “What is it?”- Rossi asked, noticing her change.

- “The Bakersfield’s unsub killed again.”- she mumbled and started walking, she had to tell Hotch.

I looked at (Y/N) and she sighed. She knew she had been rude to JJ, though her comment hadn’t been the best either.

- “I’m sorry I snapped”- (Y/N) said and cut JJ a short smile. She was being honest, and I knew it was hard for her to deal with apologies.

- “I’m sorry too, I know it was a hard moment for you… I shouldn’t have said that.”- JJ rubbed her arms as she stared at my wife, and the two of them nodded.

- “Come on, we have a case.”- Rossi said and started walking to the briefing room, I waited for (Y/N) to grab her things and followed her.

- “Everyone, this is SSA Kate Callahan from Andy Swan's unit. She'll be joining the team.”- Hotch announced as soon as he walked into the room with Callahan, who waved at us with a grin.

- “Congratulations.”- I smiled at her as she sat at the other side of the table.

- “How are Andy and Seaver doing?”- Morgan asked her.

- “Oh, they're great and they say hello. They told me a lot about all of you.”- Kate said with a cheerful voice, and the entire team stared at my wife, who just nodded at Callahan with a warm smile, ignoring them. They weren't being subtle at all, and (Y/N) knew it.

- “We can get started.”- Hotch said and Pen started presenting the case.

(Y/N)’s point of view

It was sad knowing Prentiss didn’t want to come back to the team. I knew she loved her job at Interpol, but I always hoped one day she’d return to us. I was also feeling weird about JJ. I didn’t have any logical reason to snap at her the way I did, but something inside of me felt uneasy about her. However, she was my friend, so I did my best to put that feeling aside and be nicer to her. I know when I’m upset I can be incredibly hurtful, and that’s no way to treat a friend.

I called my mom as we gathered our things to get to the plane and announced to her we were heading to California.

- “We have been consulting on this case, and this guy just dumped the third body, so we are heading over right now.”- I explained as I grabbed my casefile, purse and looked at Spencer.

- “Take care, peanut. I will keep you posted on this beautiful baby girl.”- mom said and I heard her kissing my daughter’s cheeks.

- “Thank you, mom. I love you.”- I sighed after I hung up and shook my head. - “I hate leaving her behind.”

- “I know. Me too.”- Spencer whispered and held my hand- “Let’s hope we catch this guy fast.”

That day, Hotch paired me with Rossi and Kate. And guess what? I enjoyed it more than I imagined I would, considering we were trying to catch a serial killer. But Callahan was a great addition to the team. She was fun witty and incredibly smart. She had amazing comebacks to any random comment I would make. Three hours in the field and we were besties already. That made me feel more confident about anything that Seaver might have said to her about me.

We were back at the police station. Spencer was working on the geographic profile and Garcia was on the phone from Virginia, updating us on the number of websites that she found on the deep web where our suspect got to buy limbs from the victims. He wasn’t the unsub we were looking for, just… a weirdo with a problem. At least we already had a profile, and it felt like we were a little closer to catching our guy.

- “You'd think after 10 years I'd seen it all.”- Garcia sighed through the line. I knew she was definitely shocked by what she had found on those sites. It was sick, to be honest.

- “How many sites are there, mama?”- Derek asked her as I stared at the board my husband was working on. I was sitting at the other side of the table, next to Kate, going through the case file again.

- “Hundreds. And that gem of a fellow you've got in custody has looked at all of them at one time or another.”- Garcia explained.

- “I’m guessing there is no lead to get our unsub, right?”- I asked her and Pen automatically explained there wasn’t.

- “Anonymity is huge for these sites. They use a Tor network, which is an onion router. The point is, you're not gonna be able to find anyone this way. Do you know there are actual variations on a disarticulation fetish?”- my friend sighed at the other side of the line and whispered. - “I need baby kitten pics asap.”

- “Oh! Have you seen the hippo who lives with the family?”- Kate asked out of the blue, and I turned to her confused.

- “What?”- Garcia asked right away.

- “Sleeps with a blanket, gets massages, eats better than I do.”- Kate explained and looked at me nodding.

- “Where is that?”- Pen questioned and I could almost picture her face as she googled it.

- “South Africa. It's amazing.”- Kate explained. Morgan and Spencer turned to us and raised an eyebrow as Garcia got hyperventilated at the other side of the line and continued talking.

- “Trust me, I have an arsenal of cuteness. Have you seen the one with the baby elephant…”

- “Oh, with the baby chicks?”- Kate interrupted her, excited as well

- “Yes, I love that one!”

- “I love the one with the kitten cuddling with a baby, it’s so cute!”- I added and both Kate and Pen agreed with me, very enthusiastically. - "I keep telling Spencer we should get a kitten for Raven to grow up with, but he is..."

- “Uh, hey, you guys?”- Spencer looked at us from the board and I nodded.

- “Sorry. Sorry.”- the three of us said at the same time as my husband took us all back to work.

- “The most recent victim was taken from Riverside.”- he pointed out. - “That's more than 2 1/2 hours away from here.”

- “So his comfort zone isn't limited to here.”- Morgan added.

- “That's not good. He's got a lot more confidence than we thought.”- Kate said as I nodded.

- “Yeah, but this area has to mean something to him.”- I pointed out and Morgan supported my words.

- “Yes, he's leaving vics here, so he must have some connection to Bakersfield.”

- “The M.E. says he's gotten better at ligating each victim, which means he may have had practice.”- Spencer pointed out as he walked closer to the table and stood next to me.

- “On what?”- Morgan asked

- “We didn't originally profile him as an acrotomophile, but that sort of attraction typically has deep roots in childhood.”- my husband added.

- “That makes sense, maybe growing up he was constantly around dead bodies. Maybe his family had a funeral home.”- I said and my husband nodded at my words.

- “Exactly, it wasn't that big of a leap for him.”- Kate added, supporting my thoughts.

- “It could be. We know he wasn't social enough to continue the family tradition, so maybe he found work in a morgue or a hospital.”- Morgan pointed out.

- “When you say work…”- Garcia asked right away.

- “Security guard, janitor, anything entry level.”- I explained to her and heard her typing as I spoke.

- “Uh, the UC system has a medical facility in Bakersfield.”- she announced in a few seconds.

- “Anyone fired recently?”- Spencer asked him.

- “No, but there's an anatomy Professor on sabbatical.”

- “What's his name?” I asked and grabbed a pen right away.

- “Dylan Myers.”

The team went to the suspect’s house and left me and Spencer at the police station. I wasn’t complaining that time, I didn’t want to go. A part of my brain was relieved neither of us was in danger during that case. I wanted to go back home and hold my baby, hopefully, that very same night.

That last part was probably not going to happen when we got a call from Hotch, telling us the unsub wasn’t there. So the search for a secondary location started. However, Garcia had nothing on the guy, and the search was turning incredibly frustrating.

I was at the kitchenette in the police station, pouring a fresh cup of coffee for Spencer. He was a few feet away from me, reading the M.E. reports one more time. That was when I saw him reach the bullet scar on his neck and rub it. He would do it from time to time, I was sure it hurt, though he always denied it. Surely, he didn’t want to worry me. But nevertheless, I was worried. The fear of getting hurt or even worse had always been at the back of my brain, since I joined the BAU. But now that I was a mother, facing my own mortality was harder than ever.

- “Kid? Are you ok?”- I heard Morgan ask my husband as he walked into the room. I grabbed the cup I had poured for Spencer and headed in their direction.

- “Yeah. You?”- he replied, pretending nothing was bothering him. And Derek acted like he didn’t notice. A dangerous game to play at the BAU, if you ask me.

- “Just tired.”

- “Here hon.”- I gave my husband his cup of coffee and he sat straight on his chair right away, acting as if he wasn’t in pain at all. That was still upsetting to me, knowing Spencer wouldn’t be honest about those tiny things because he still wanted to protect me.

- “Dr. Lee sent this over. The most recent victim had more than just leather particulates in her stomach.”- Spencer explained to Morgan as I sat next to him and went through the file again. - “She chewed through it, leaving entire chunks behind. She also found traces of horse hair. He's using a bridle.”

- “This guy could have used anything. Why that?”- Morgan questioned and Spencer tried to get an answer.

- “It's either specific to his fantasy or something he had easy access to.”

- “How many horse ranches are around here?”- Derek asked my husband, but before he could reply, I said:

- “One hundred and thirty-four.”- Morgan frowned and turned to me as Spencer smiled and looked at the M.E report in his hands.

- “You are spending too much time with your husband, I’m gonna ask Hotch to pair us together instead.”- the phone interrupted our conversation, and speak of the devil, it was Hotch, with shocking news. Our suspect David Myers wasn’t actually the unsub, but his first victim and the killer had framed him.

- “That’s what I call a plot twist”- I whispered as I heard Hotch’s explanation.

- “He took out a lot of rage on this man for a reason.”- our Unit Chief added.

- “Maybe this Dylan Myers stood in the way of the unsub's true object of affection.”- Spencer suggested.

- “Well, it makes sense since we thought the first and second victims were connected.”- I added, but Spencer quickly shook his head.

- “Only Dylan Myers was single.”

- “Garcia, was Dylan Myers dating anyone?”- Hotch asked at the other side of the line.

- “He was a bit of a hermit, and like I said, zero social media skills. Did go old school with a landline. Tracking his frequently called numbers. He called a young woman named Christine Locke several times. She's a former student, lives in Bakersfield.”- Garcia made a pause and somehow, we all knew exactly what she was going to say next. - “And she's missing. Sending you her picture now.”

We stared at our cell phone’s screen and watched the image of a young blond girl appear in front of us.

- “She looks like the second victim.”- I whispered and looked at my husband for a moment, he was frowning, trying to connect the dots in this crime. If you ask me, he was desperate to crack it and go back home.

- “Did she have a restraining order out on anyone?”- Hotch asked.

- “Checking now.”- Garcia replied and typed as fast as she could. - “Uh, yes. She filed for and was granted a restraining order on August 6 from Steven Parkett.”

- “And where is he?”- I asked quickly, and Pen answered in a second.

- “Probably on his way to hell in a handbasket, munchkin. He was raised and lives at a cattle ranch and slaughterhouse in Bishopville just outside of Bakersfield. Sending you the coordinates now.”

The team got the killer, and before we knew it, we were on the plane, on our way back home. JJ and Morgan welcomed Kate with a long speech about their battle scars, that made me chuckle from the other side of the plane, at least the few minutes it lasted, ‘cos soon everybody around me was snoring. Everyone but me. Somehow I couldn’t close my eyes. I was too excited about going back home and holding my daughter in my arms. So I stood up carefully, trying not to wake Spencer, who was softly snoring next to me, and walked to the kitchenette to make myself a cup of tea.

The water hadn’t boiled yet when Kate appeared next to me, and cut me a short smile, clearly still half asleep.

- “Is there enough water in that pot for another tea?”- she whispered and I chuckled.

- “The correct question would be: is there enough tea in this plane to keep you awake?”- I answered and Kate Callahan laughed under her breath, trying not to wake any of our teammates.

- “Pick your favorite.”- I whispered and handed her a box with different kinds of teas- “If you need help, I can tell you my favorite pick to keep me awake during trips is Earl Gray.”

- “Earl Gray it is.”- she grabbed one bag and put it in an empty mug. We both stayed quiet for a few minutes. It wasn’t uncomfortable, just a little weird. We hadn’t actually been alone since we met, technically 48 hours earlier.

- “So why don’t you wanna sleep?”- I finally asked her, pouring the hot boiling water in her cup.

- “I can’t stop thinking about the case.”- she simply replied and smiled at me.- “How do you deal with catching a different serial killer every week and not… taking it with you?”

- “That’s a good question. I don’t know how we do it, actually.”- I answered and grabbed my cup with both hands, feeling the warmth against my cold skin right away.

- “Seaver told me a lot about the team when she transferred.”

And there it was, the pink elephant in the room. I bit my lips and looked at Kate, waiting for a snarky comment, a complaint, maybe a threat not to be mean to her. But no. That’s not what happened. Instead, Kate smiled at me and whispered.

- “She said everybody on the team taught her a lot and made her a better agent. Especially you and Prentiss.”

- “Me?”- I didn’t even try to mask how shocked I was by that confession. It made no sense. Yes, at the end Seaver and I were on better terms, but she wasn’t my friend. She wasn’t even invited to our wedding. And, like JJ had pointed out a few days earlier in the worst way possible, I hadn’t been nice at Seaver.

- “Yeah, she said you two had a rocky start, but that you were an incredible agent, and that she put to use everything you taught her.”- I raised an eyebrow and waited for the “but” to come any second.

But it never came.

- “I don’t know if Ashley actually meant it.”- I finally confessed and sipped my tea - “I was very mean to her when she joined the team. We had… considerable issues.”

- “Whatever it was, you two managed to work together no matter what, and you really taught her a lot. She was very proud to have worked alongside you and agent Prentiss.”- I tried to read Kate, try to find any trace of deceit, irony, or any lead that showed me she was lying. But there was nothing. Was I losing my profiler’s touch? Or was she actually being honest?

- “Wow.”- that was all I managed to say. - “I’m glad we were a good school for her.”

- “You definitely were. She said it was the first time she actually managed to skip her father’s stigma and be herself.”- I sipped my cup and nodded. On that very same plane, I had yelled at Ashley about how her father had killed my aunt. It felt like ages ago. In another life.

- “So, how long have you and Spencer been together?”- Kate asked after a few seconds. I smiled and whispered.

- “It’s gonna be three years already since we got married, and four since we started dating.”

- “You didn’t wait long to tie the knot!”- she replied, shocked, and raised an eyebrow.

- “It might sound weird, but most people thought it took us too long.”- it was funny looking back now, but god! It had been a long journey.

- “Really? Why?”

- “‘Cos we were in love for four years and a half and none of us said a word about our feelings.”- I confessed and giggled. Kate wide opened her eyes, shocked.

- “You what?!”

- “Yeah! We wasted four years in love with each other ‘cos we were both terrified to deal with our feelings.”

- “Oh my god! That’s… like a rom-com!”- Callahan chuckled and I smiled, thinking it was funny now, but back when Ashley was in the team, it was the closest I had ever been to hell on earth.

- “Yeah, that’s why after we started dating, we decided to get married very soon, and no one was actually shocked by that.”

- “And do you have kids?”- Kate asked, and I had to do my best effort not to jump with excitement when I started talking about our daughter.

- “One daughter, Raven Marie. She is three months and a half.”- I made my best effort not to be the kind of mom I always made fun of, showing pictures of their babies to anyone they could. Until I heard Kate ask the questions:

- “Do you have pictures?”- and I know I grinned like a maniac, grabbing my phone.

- “I have so many!”

For the rest of the trip, Callahan and I stayed in the kitchenette of the plane, drinking tea and chatting. She told me she didn’t have kids of her own yet, but that she and her husband were guardians of her little niece “Meg” after her sister died. I didn’t ask much about it 'cause it was clearly a sensitive subject, but she did tell me a lot about Meg. She was thirteen already, which gave me a glimpse of what raising a teenager meant. And it sounded creepy.

That morning we reached home and found my mom walking in the living room with baby Raven. I nearly ran to her and held her in my arms. Me and Spencer kissed her chubby cheeks and somehow, I felt at peace. That’s a feeling I only get when we are all together, at home. A feeling that’s very elusive when you are an SSA. 

Previous chapter | Next chapter (post date: September 25th)

[phoenixiancrystallist]

"You've flowers in your hair," Astra said, and Susurrus turned to her, a wide grin on his face.

"A helm fit only for the bravest and most noble of warriors, milady," he said, melodramatic and overflowing with delight. The child riding on his shoulders giggled as she wove yet another blossom into his coppery locks. Astra found herself staring, in part admiring the contrast of the delicate, slightly squished blooms against the regal lines and planes of his handsome face. And yet, she also found herself captivated by the way he interacted with the children. Susurrus was the most powerful combative mage in the armies under her command, ruthless and efficient on the battlefield. Yet here he was, children dangling off of him and a smile fit to outshine the sun swallowing his hazel eyes.

Another child hit him at the knees and he tumbled, careful and controlled so as not to harm the little ones that clung to his arms. Astra did not see how it was done, but despite no less than two gangly, uncoordinated bodies weighing each limb down, Susurrus managed to flip the child riding his shoulders so that she landed on his chest. His rich, sonorous laughter rang around the plaza like bells, accompanied by the raucous laughter of the children.

"I've been felled!" Susurrus said through his laughter, and the young lad who'd downed him leapt onto him, a battle cry in his throat that sent the other children scrambling. "Have mercy, have mercy!"

Astra found herself giggling as the other children ran past her, dispersing themselves around the plaza and hiding in garden beds and flowering bushes to prepare for a merry game of chase. But she had need of Susurrus, and so clapped her hands to get the children's collective attention focused on her.

"Come along now," she said, "don't you all have lessons to attend?"

The unanimous whine that met her words forced her to smother a smile. But a stern glance from Susurrus sent them scattering to the winds, off to seek some other entertainment for the day. Astra offered her hands to Susurrus to help him up, marveled at the warmth and gentleness in them belied by the rough calluses and scars he'd earned through battle.

"Bad news?" he asked, running his fingers through his hair. Each flower dislodged was gathered and carefully cradled in his free hand, held tenderly so as not to crush them.

"Nothing we hadn't anticipated," Astra assured him, even as her eyes tracked a delicate, yellow, star-shaped blossom. He noticed her attention on the bloom, and reached out to tuck it behind her ear. Though the gentle smile he gave her held a hint of harsh steel underneath, Astra breathed easier to see it.

[vivwritesfics]

All You Need is Love (and sleep)

Uni is hard. Lando and Oscar turning up on your doorstep makes things much better

Landoscar x reader

1.7K

Moving to London to study music was Y/N's dream. At eighteen years old, she got that chance. Y/N packed up her things and moved into halls. That was the beginning of the best time of her life.

Well, it was supposed to be. And the first year really was. She made good friends, learnt valuable life skills and showed what she could do in her studies.

Her second year was much the same. She had to deal with finding her own place to live and people to live with, had to deal with paying bills and keeping the house clean. It taught her how great and shitty living with other could be be, though.

Third year was a whole different barrel of fish. Y/N ended up living with many of the same people from the previous year, a group of girls. Even though they were shitty to her, there was politics involved.

Third year was filled with essays. Too many essays. Whenever Y/N got a spare moment she was locked in her room, completing her essays. Which meant she had to miss all of her boyfriends races from September onwards.

Lando and Oscar weren't happy about that one. They hardly got to see her when University started again. But they weren't mad about it, they understood. That didn't stop them from missing her terribly.

Being a university student meant that Y/N spent her nights awake, doing her work, and sleeping during class.

On this particular evening she was at her desk, working away. Her eyes were tired and an empty can of energy drink was beside her.

Down stairs, knuckles met plastic as somebody knocked on the front door. Y/N ignored it as she continued working. One of her friends lived downstairs and somebody was bound to be cooking in the kitchen. She'd let one of them answer it.

The knock came again.

Y/N pulled her headphones from one ear and listened.

Down the stairs, Melina, Y/N's housemate, pulled open the front door. "Can I help you?" She asked the two boys in the orange hats, her voice bored. She recognised Lando from the previous year, but the slightly taller boy was new to her.

"We're here for Y/N," Lando said as he looked into the house.

When she'd first moved in, Y/N had sent her address to the boys. Just in case they wanted to send her anything in the post. Lando and Oscar hadn't yet seen the place she now called him.

Melina left them standing in the doorway as she turned around and called for Y/N. "She'll be down in a minute," she said and pushed the door shut, with Lando and Oscar still outside.

Y/N came running down the stairs. "What is it?" She asked Melina as they passed each other in the hallway.

"Visitors," Melina replied and walked back into her bedroom.

Y/N looked towards the front door. Nothing, there was nobody in the entryway. She looked at the pebbled glasses in the front door, at the silhouettes of the boys outside. Through the glass they could just about see the orange at the top of their heads.

Y/N ran through the house, her sock covered feet sliding across the wood. Wasting no time, she pulled open the front door and threw herself at the boys. "Osc! Lan! What the fuck are you doing here?" She asked as they wrapped their arms around her.

"We're here for you, you muppet," Lando replied as he pulled away from them. Oscar held on for just a moment longer.

"Actually, we're here to take you to mine," Oscar continued. "Give you a break from studying."

That pulled a laugh from Y/N. "Good one, guys," she said and stepped back to let them into the house. "You know I don't have time to take a break, right?"

Lando pulled a face. "Sure you do. And, you don't have a choice."

Well, Y/N wasn't going to argue with that. "Let me get my things," she said and shut the door. When she ran up the stairs the boys followed behind, following her into her room.

Y/N's room was surprisingly clean. Especially for a university student. Instantly, Oscar knew what Y/N had done. She'd stress cleaned to procrastinate and then gotten herself more stressed about work by not doing it.

Her laptop was open on her desk and Lando grabbed it as he sat on her bed. "I don't get any of this," he said as he read through her work. When he got bored it, he started looked through her Chrome tabs. It wasn't malicious, Lando was simply nosy. "What's a Valkyrie challenge?" (my smj girlies get it)

"Don't worry about it, Lan," she said with a laugh as she packed her things into the bag.

But then she went to take the laptop from Lando and put it in her bag. "Oh no you don't," said Oscar as he grabbed the laptop from her hands. "Coming with us means no work, okay?"

"Oscar-"

"It's for one night. Please, for us."

Well, Y/N wasn't going to argue with that.

Swinging her bag over her back, she grabbed her keys and the three of them set off. Y/N locked her bedroom door behind her and led the boys down the stairs. She ushered them out of the front door and locked it behind them, not saying anything to her housemates.

Y/N climbed into the back of Oscars car with her things. Without her laptop there, without being able to do any uni work, she felt guilty. She should have been at home, working as hard as she could for that degree.

She was tired. So, so, tired. Y/N yawned as Oscar drove them through London, heading towards his apartment. Ever since he and Lando had decided to kidnap Y/N and take her back to his, he'd been buzzing, excited.

It had all been Lando's idea. Every time they got a text from Y/N, it was the same thing. 'uni work is kicking my ass' or something along those lines. It all meant the same thing. It all meant that Y/N needed a break.

When they got to Oscars apartment, Lando took Y/N's things from her and carried them inside. He slung her bag over his back and grabbed her hand as Oscar locked his car and led them inside.

Once they were inside of the apartment, Lando dropped Y/N's things in the bedroom. The bed wasn't quite wide enough for three, but they made it work. (It was a good thing winter was on it's way. Late at night they'd cuddle close but by the morning the blanket was on the floor).

"Right," Lando said as he threw himself onto the sofa, taking up all of the space. Grabbing the remote he turned on the television and began flicking through the channels.

Y/N settled herself down in the armchair, legs draped over the arm. She folded her arms over her chest and turned her head to the side to look at Lando.

"You could sit here, you know," he said, patting his legs. "Could come and lay on me."

"Then where would Oscar sit?"

"We can all squeeze on here together," Lando answered.

Oscar, who was currently sorting out snacks, let out a laugh. He walked in with a bowl full of popcorn and packets of other food, none of it healthy. "Or, you could go and get us all something to drink," he suggested and Lando jumped up.

As he walked past Y/N, Lando placed a kiss on the top of her head and disappeared into the kitchen.

He was in their for a while, going through Oscar's cupboards for his and Y/N's preferred cup (I don't trust anyone that doesn't have a favourite cup or mug - mine is shaped like a hippo). By the time Lando emerged with three drinks, Y/N was already asleep in the arm chair.

"Osc," he whispered to the Australian, who hadn't yet looked over.

When he did, Oscar let a smile pass over his face. "Should we move her to the bed? She'll get a bad back if she stay's there."

Oscar was the worrier in the relationship. Especially when it came to Y/N. Lando he had with him every weekend at least, Y/N he got to see rarely. So, when he was with her, he showed his love by worrying.

As carefully as he cold, Lando lifted Y/N from the sofa. She stirred slightly, but she didn't wake up. Oscar opened the bedroom door as Lando walked her in. Pulling back the covers, Lando laid her down. The boys carefully worked to get her changed into pyjamas. They wrapped her up in the blankets, kissed her head and waked out of the room, leaving her to rest.

***

When Y/N woke up, she was completely lost. She looked around the room, Oscar's room, and everything came back to her. Yawning, stretching, Y/N stood up. She looked at the pyjamas the boys had changed her into and walked out of the bedroom.

Lando and Oscar were sitting on the sofa, watching a movie when Y/N walked in. They were cuddled up, untouched snacks still in front of them.

They didn't notice her at first. It was only when Y/N laid herself on top of them that they finally looked away from the movie. "Hey, baby," said Lando, his arm wrapping around her and holding her close. "Good sleep?"

"The best," she replied and leaned forward to kiss him.

Oscar cleared his throat. "Alright, you big baby," Y/N muttered and leaned forward to kiss him too.

"I'm the baby? You just took a nap in the middle of the day!"

"Shut up, you love me."

"Yeah, I do."

And then Lando cleared his throat.

"Love you too!" They chorused.

[etherial-moon-blog]

Tease

Paring: Adult!Ao'nung x Adult!MetkayinaReader 

Na’vi dictionary: Sa’nu-mother, Metkayina- reef clan, ‘itan- son, ma‘ite- daughter, mawey-calm, kuru- neural queue

Summary: Reader gets her final tattoo signifying the end of her rites and her acceptance into the clan as an adult and is flirted with by Ao'nung along the way.

Word count: 1k

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, slight mention of needles 

A/N:  was bullied by @xylianasblog to post this

All characters depicted in this fic at 18+ minors dni | divider by @/cafekitsune

To say you were nervous would be an understatement, you were downright anxious. Today was the day that you’d be getting your final tattoo. This tattoo would signify your place among the Metkayina, and signal that you were eligible to find a mate in the upcoming mating cycle. 

You nervously chewed on your bottom lip as you paced around your marui, anxiously awaiting your escort. 

“Mawey, maite, you’re going to walk a hole into the floor.” Your mother remarks, not looking up from her weaving. 

“I’m sorry sa’nu, I’m just nervous is all.” You say as you stop your pacing. 

Your mother's face softens as she watches you, you hadn’t been nervous about all your previous tattoos but this one had been giving you a lot of anxiety recently. Wordlessly, she sets her weaving aside and gently pats her thigh. 

You shuffle over to her and plop down, laying your head on her thigh. She begins humming and gently runs her fingers through your hair. “I know you’re nervous maite, this was the tattoo your father was supposed to give you. I know we both miss him dearly but your sempul would be proud of the woman you are today, just as I am. 

You sit up and hug your mother, smiling as you do. She returns the embrace, holding you as close to her as she can. The two of you bask in your embrace and only pull away once you hear someone clear their throat. You and your mother turn to find Ao’nung standing at the entrance of your marui. 

“Sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt but my mom is ready for you now,” Ao’nung says.

You and your mother stand, and she gives you a quick kiss on the cheek before pushing you in Ao’nung’s direction. As you walk out you hear your mother's voice call behind you. “Make sure you two get there on time please, I’m too young to be a grandma!”

A deep purple blush blooms across your face and you grab Ao’nung’s arm as you speed up to get away from your marui quickly. Once you two are far enough away, Ao’nung chuckles. 

“Grandchildren huh? Never knew you liked me like that (y/n).”  Your face burns hotter and you hit him in the arm. 

“Because I don’t! My mom doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” You say frantically. You were not helping your case with how frantically you were denying her words.

Ao'nung only smirks in response to your flustered attempts to deny your crush. In one swift motion, he grabs your hand and pulls you by your waist so that your chest is pressed firmly against him. Leaning down, he presses your foreheads together, his lips barely touching yours.

“That’s a shame then, I was hoping I’d finally get to make you mine this mating cycle.” His voice has dropped an octave and the blush that was once leaving your face comes back in full force. 

“But..” He drops his hands from your body and steps away from you, leaving you breathless and missing his touch. “..since you don’t like me, I guess there’s no need to try.”  You shudder and release a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in.

Did you hear what he said correctly? He wanted you to be his mate? No, he was probably just teasing you like he always did. He had known for a while that you had a crush on him. Tsireya had accidentally let the details of your feelings for him slip during dinner one night, the traitor. 

Quickly coming back to your senses, you punch him in the arm. “Don’t do that! You nearly gave me a heart attack!” He only chuckles in response and begins to walk ahead of you once again. You let out a sigh and followed him, silently hoping that his words held some truth. 

As you follow behind him, your thoughts are so consumed by what he said earlier that you don’t notice him suddenly stopping and you run directly into his back. He turns to face you, a smirk pulling at the edges of his lips. 

“If you wanted to be close to me, all you had to do was ask. I’d be more than happy to get close to you.”  Your face burns for the nth time that morning but before you can retaliate, a figure pushes aside the opening of the pod and steps outside. As Ronal’s gaze moved between you and her son, you couldn’t help but straighten yourself reflexively. Authority and beauty radiated from her in waves and you couldn’t help but stand in awe of her no matter how many times you’ve seen and interacted with her. 

“You were almost late ‘itan.  Next time take care to get here on time. Now your father needs your help with warrior training. Go now. And do not be late.” As she spoke her eyes never left yours. You barely heard what she said but as soon as she began walking into the pod you followed after her, sparing a glance back at Ao'nung before fully following her inside. 

As you entered the pod you glanced around, glimpsing at all the different herbs and jars collected around the room. As you looked around, you heard Ronal clear her throat and turn towards her. She was sitting down on a pillow and gestured beside her to a similar pillow. Taking a seat, you were once again subject to the intensity of her gaze. 

After what felt like an eternity she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them once more. “Lay down, Eywa shall guide my hand to bestow upon you the mark of our people. With this tattoo, you will finally become one of the people.” With surprisingly gentle hands, she guides you to lay flat on your stomach. She gently brushes your hair and kuru aside and runs a warm reassuring hand from the base of your neck to the base of your spine. 

Shuffling is heard behind you but as you move to turn your head, Ronal’s hand comes out and pushes your shoulders down gently. “You must stay still. My hand must be steady for Eywa’s guidance to flow through me.” You re-adjust yourself so that your head is resting on your folded arms. ‘Are you ready my child?” You nod, and let out a small breath as the needle touches your skin….

Taglist: @melllinaa @fev0ir @iaratezaewa @zaddyskye69 @kasai-https @darktyrantwinner @doctorswife221b @atxxokirina @iameatingmyhair @thepineapplesimp @lo707 @lyra997 @shadydreamlanddetective @atokirina-writings @plooto

[daimiyamoto]

‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎→ KEI'S GIF PACK DIRECTORY!

Since Tumblr terminated my previous account, where I stored every gif pack I ever made, I decided to upload them in a separate one just in case this one gets nuked too. This is the link to the directory, but I will also post a list in alphabetical order under the cut so you know which ones I've made so far. Some of them are in a payhip page, the rest are in their respective Tumblr page.; most of them are for free, a couple of them are paid.

If you like, use or plan to use any of them, please spread the word! I won't be making an individual post for them again, so a reblog to this post helps too. Thanks!

Alec Secăreanu in Happy Valley season 3

Alex Høgh Andersen in Darkness: Those Who Kill season 2 (P)

Álvaro Rico in Madres: Amor y vida season 4 (P)

Bilal Hasna in Extraordinary season 1 (P)

Brian Tyree Henry in The Outside Story

Brian Tyree Henry in Atlanta season 3 (unfinished)

Carlos Cuevas in Citas: Barcelona season 1 (P)

Carlos Cuevas in El verano que vivimos

Carlos Cuevas in Sin límites

Carlos Cuevas in Smiley season 1 (P)

Carlos Miranda in Station 19 season 5

Woo Do-Hwan in Bloodhounds (P)

Evan Peters in American Horror Story: Red Tide (gif icons)

Elias Kacavas in Pretty Little Liars: Original Sin seasons 1 & 2

Wi Ha-Joon in Bad and Crazy

Wi Ha-Joon in Little Women

Wi Ha-Joon in With Coffee

Hasan Piker in several interviews (gif icons)

Kim Hieora in Bad and Crazy

Jesse Williams in Only Murders in the Building season 3 (missing one episode because I'm d*mb)

Jesse Williams in Your Place or Mine (P)

Jim Parrack in 9-1-1: Lone Star season 3 (unfinished)

Jordan Calloway in Fire Country season 2

Lakeith Stanfield in The Changeling season 1 (P)

Omid Abtahi in American Gods seasons 1 to 3

Omid Abtahi in Damien

Nabhaan Rizwan in Industry season 1

Nico Greetham in American Horror Stories season 2

Peter Gadiot in Yellowjackets season 1

Raúl Castillo in Night Teeth

Raúl Castillo in Seven Seconds

Ritesh Rajan in Twentyfiveish

Sachin Bhatt in But She's my Best Friend

Stephan James in Surface season 1 (unfinished)

Ted Sutherland in The Walking Dead: World Beyond season 2

Yahya Abdul-Mateen II in Watchmen season 1

I think I didn't forget any — if you think I did, let me know!

[ecogirl2759]

My boy, Mondo!

-NOTE-

All of these photos are from the Danganronpa 4コマ KINGS series. I do not own any of the drawings, but these photos are mine. All credit goes to Spike Chunsoft for the characters and the books themselves.

The wait is over! It's time for Mondo spam :D

(Another long post lol)

He's always so angry lol

Though, I guess it's not always...

Ya'know how Mondo wanted to be a carpenter? He tried fixing a chair once. It went very well, as you can see.....

Make way for the toughest guy in town!

Mondo loves all small animals :)

HE'S KINDA CUTE WHEN HE'S FLUSTERED AWW

Happi boi

What's with Mondo and getting essploded?

Oh, I guess this is why. Just freely handing bombs to people LOL

LMAO imagine watching your bro get executed. Can't relate.

[Not a spoiler, in case anyone is worried]

My tracksuit isn't blue :)

Saj :(

Oh boy, I sure do wonder why his handbook stopped working...

[It's still in his pocket]

He gives zero "effs"

Mondo misses riding his bike :(

He eepy

THE UNDERSIDE OF HIS HAIR LOOKS LIKE A DIVING BOARD I'M SORRY--

I'm sorry, which manga am I reading again?

[Btw, funny note, Monokuma-bot is basically saying "I WILL make you wear white underwear!!"]

HAHA what

Alright, that's all for now! Go, my trusty steed!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had a lot to say about this guy, if you couldn't tell :)

GOD HE'S SO COOL

A lot of his appearances were actually just him interacting with either Chihiro or Taka, actually. Though, that said, after character pictures are done, I'm totally willing to post pairing pictures if you guys want! Just lmk who you want to see in a picture together and I'll post them :)

Also, lmk who you want to see after Kyoko! I've only got 6/16 students lined up so far, so there's plenty more room lol

I really like posting these photos for everyone! It's been really fun so far!

[Btw, use these photos for whatever you like. Credit is always nice, though!]

Next up: Aoi Asahina!

Contents || <-Previous : Next->

[myguiltyartpleasure]

Cozy games recommendations!

@dualcordie asked for recs, I have quite number of them, so here it is.

It turned out to be stardew-like collection, but I'll do more posts for other types of games. I added only those, which I personally played and liked

Stardew Valley

PC, PS, iOS, Xbox, Nintendo switch. (I've played for 390 hours 😅) Classics! Kind of created a new game genre of "stardew-like" games. But In case you haven't played: you're a new farmer in small town. It's not just farming, you can also make friends with locals (and even date someone), mine gems, fight monsters, discover forest spirits and fight evil corporation. Also you can find out about townfolks' secrets, depressive problems and subtle stuff. It has a huge community with lots of mods, so if you missed this game - you should really try it!

Haunted Chocolatier

WIP by SV developer and release date still wasn't announced. Still worth mentioning. I guess concept is in its name

Coral Island

PC, more platforms announced. (mine ~260 hours before official release in early access) Developers of this game were HEAVILY inspired by Stardew Valley, so it's basically the same idea, but you're on the island. Additionally to previous game's activities you also have diving, healing the ocean, adopting pets and more interactive annual events. It was officially released on November, 14 this year. It is still fresh and developers listen to players' suggestions. Some of the most popular SV mods are implemented in this game officially. Highly recommended for those who miss something stardew-like

Potion Permit

PC, macOS (mine ~ 36 hours) Same concept, but you're an alchemist. You're creating potions by solving puzzles, healing locals and environment as well. Same with romances, monsters. Probably something else, but I haven't played it for some time and stuff were added since then

Slime Rancher

PC, PS, xbox, Nintendo Switch (can't find amount of hours)

You're on another planet and you're running.. well, slime ranch! You need to catch them, breed different kinds, feed them and collect plorts to sell. There are some dangers in the wild, but not much and you can switch it off. Be careful - they can destroy the whole ranch and create chaos! No social aspect, it's just you, cute hungry slimes, chicken and some guy's logs

[flower-sunflower-blog]

How did s!Dappleduo came to the Shelter ?

Ok, so, I wanted to get on s!Dappleduo theories and questions. 

Quick note : through this post I’ll stick with “s!Dapper” and “s!Pomme'' to make it easier. But just so you know, in general, I use Shade and Dapper, and Lumi and Pomme interchangeably, and still refer to the same characters. 

First of all some basics : 

It is confirmed Shelter is a place where people were all brought by the tree, besides of a few possible exceptions, and came from different minecraft universes. The kind of the universes can be really diverse going from one character to another : other dimensions ? made up minecraft universes ? Or even, already existing minecraft universes. 

I’ve been getting into figuring out where everyone came from, why and how they came to the Shelter. A lot of hints made me think some characters could have died before being resurrected by the tree, thus reincarnated. And surely there is something that all of them must have in common to be chosen by the tree, but we can't confirm yet the process is the same for everyone. So for now I think the "death and reincarnated" scenario is only "one way” possible among others. 

Going onto s!Dappleduo’s case. My first and biggest interrogation was whether or not s!Dapper and s!Pomme, and q!Dapper and q!Pomme, were the same characters.

I know in /meta, they rp and act the same, but the real question was to know if lorewise, the 2 versions of their characters have a shared backstory, thus meaning s!Dapper and s!Pomme were actually the continuation of q!Pomme and q!Dapper ?

A quick /meta note on this : I wanted to get into s!Dappleduo’s lore for a while. But I had a lot of hesitation because I was debating whether or not everything was just /meta references, and if there was even a lore talk to have to begin with. But then we had more lore, thus more hints to make up my mind.  

Now, I think the answer is yes. 

Recently, s!Pomme heavily hinted she came from the QSMP’s universe, and that she misses people from there, during her dialogue with s!Mine.

And both s!Pomme and s!Dapper referenced the events they went through in QSMP during Shelter's /rp moments, meaning it actually happened to their current characters and they remember it :

s!Dapper referencing the punch card and the free cookie jar xD

Their character seems to be basically the same, altho a bit different. s!Pomme hinted a lot this idea of a new chapter, of a “rebirth”. 

And I think the same goes for s!Dapper, as I consider s!Dappleduo siblings to have shared lore in general.

I see all of this as hinting they went through reincarnation, after all didn’t they have a parent who used to reincarnate over and over again ?

They still seem to have memories of their "previous life", altho it's not sure yet they fully remember everything. They’re still the same, but not completely. And they both came from the tree. 

Thing is, they’re not the only one hinted to be “reincarnated” from the tree. s!Ryan, s!Luh and s!Heiwa's hints mostly, made me think their characters were reincarnated from the tree after “dying”. Did s!Dapper and s!Pomme died aswell and were reincarnated in Shelter ? 

That's where having the confirmation that q!Dappleduo and s!Dappleduo are the same makes a whole difference : Dappleduo had 2 lives before.

q!Dappleduo came up to life with the constant threat of perma death upon them, making it an essential part of how they grew and evolved as characters. Especially for q!Pomme ! Her being the only one with 2 lives, growing up stronger to fight for her life and those she cares about, is one of the most fundamental element of her character. 

But now, both of them ended up in Shelter, and are now immortal. But still, their character backstory is still based on them having only 2 lives and struggling to stay alive. My point being, if they canonically had 2 lives, why not anymore ?

And as much as there is an obvious /meta reason why it's this way, lorewise, I think we can still ask ourselves how come they did get rid of the 2 lives limitations ? In general, how did they came from one state to another ?

Could q!Pomme and q!Dapper have died, and been reincarnated by the tree ? But if so, how did they die ? Last thing we know, they both still had 2 lives, what could have killed them both twice ? And was the reincarnation itself enough to get them rid of the 2 lives limitation, or is there even more to it ?

There's still an unknown timeline gap between q!Pomme and q!Dapper having both of their life and still no official death/reason for their death, and current s!Dapper and s!Pomme being immortal. And as much as I think reincarnation occured here, I’m still not 100% sure they had to die for it. Well, let’s say something is still strange about this. 

Another element I had, but was kinda cautious to use since I wasn’t sure how much "in character" it was (but that I’m now using, you’ll see why) : it is said that s!Dapper one of the first residents along with s!Jean and s!Ana. Meaning that s!Pomme came after ? And if so, why did they come separately ?

That’s all we had for s!Dappleduo for a while. But recently, more came to it.

During the conversation between s!Mine and s!Pomme, s!Pomme said she didn't know how she came here (surely no memory loss has ever happened to her before) but was glad s!Dapper "found" her.

And when s!Mine asked if they both came from the same tree, or just ended up finding each other (the exact same interrogation I had about them), s!Pomme answer was that s!Dapper has "his own ways" of doing stuff, that he is a creative fella and has a lot of tricks.

That’s all, she didn’t explain more after.

What "trick" from s!Dapper is she referring to right there ? Is that "trick" the whole reason why they found each other ? Could it imply they were not supposed to be together at first if it wasn't for s!Dapper ? And if so, why ?

The fact that it is implied they went through seperate ways before coming here is really intriguing. Why was s!Dapper the first one (apparently) and what did he do, both to get there at first and then to "find" Pomme ? That’s the reason why I’m not entirely sure they died. As much as it is possible, it looks like there is even more to it, especially about s!Dapper whole involvment in this process. After all, the Halo family is known to have this habit of playing with life and death’s rules, right ? 

.

.

.

And I kinda covered everything I wanted to say. Again, not so much happened, and we're still in the dark. It's still just some questions and comments here and there.

I mainly wanted to bring your attention into those hints and mysteries about them, and how it seems like we’re missing a part of the timeline of event that explain s!Dappleduo whole presence here. And I can’t wait to see what they’re cooking :D

[aftgficrec]

hi besties! can i be a bit weird and ask for sick fics here? old/new/favorites, any will do! just some big ol’ hurt/ comfort, especially if combined with some emotional hurt/comfort 🥰

There’s nothing weird about this at all!  Apart from the fics below, there’s also our sickfic tag as well as our hurt/comfort tag for more (see our tag page under the heading ‘themes - injuries/illnesses/conditions’). - S

Previous recs:

cool andreil sick fics here

sick fics here

foxes with headaches/sick fics here

10k+ sick fics here

Andreil in hospital here

Neil with major injury here

Neil gets injured (post canon) here

Neil & car accidents here

accident-prone Neil here

Andreil with amnesia here

medical Andreil/Aaron & Neil here

Neil getting roofied here

Also see… 

‘we're one (there's nothing to be done)’ here

‘Just like that day’ here

‘head case (what to do with you)’ here

‘Such Stuff as Dreams are Made’ here

‘Neil Josten Is a Lucky Man’ here

‘Broken’ here

‘If Only I Were Enough’ (completed) here

‘I'll Come Back To You’ here

‘glass in the trees (objects in the rearview)’ here

‘Running Ragged’ here

‘To Love and Be Loved’ here

‘all that looking down’ here

‘next best thing’, keep telling me that it gets better (does it ever?)’ and ‘no matter when and where, we’ll be alright’ here

‘Can Nobody Hear Me (I cannot breathe)’, ‘I remeber tears streaming down your face (for me to wipe them away)’, ‘you crawled inside my head’, ‘living leaves so many holes in us’, ‘Ciggarette Smoke Cure’, ‘Breathless’, ‘i've done my time’ and ‘cats and close calls’ here

‘The Highs and Lows of Pre-med Majors' here (Aaron)

‘Hold My Hand?’ here

‘Echo’ here 

I’m More Than This Body of Mine by yall_send_help [Rated M, 88811 words, incomplete, last updated Jan 2024]

The doctor took a pause, which Nathaniel was able to use to ask, “what about my leg?” The two pigs had the audacity to look surprised. The doctor looked over at them with a hint of confusion. “You didn’t tell him?” Towns shook his head as Browning said, “you told us not to.” Dr. Byrd nodded her head in approval and turned back to the bed. “Nathaniel…” she trailed off, reevaluating her words. “Would you mind if I sit?” and only after his own nod did she. “The damage done to your leg… it was unlike what most of the staff at this hospital had ever seen. The surgeons tried to save it, but…” She looked down at where his legs were and Nathaniel did too, only to feel himself pale at what he found. “The surgery took about three hours,” Dr. Byrd continued. “The only reason why it took so long was because the surgeons really did try to save your leg. They did. Amputations usually take only half that time. Eventually, Dr. McCoy called it. Because of the damage done to your leg, we couldn’t wake you up to ask. It had to go. I’m sorry.” or - the one where neil goes to baltimore and comes back missing a leg

tw: torture, tw: amputation, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: panic attacks, tw: blood, tw: animal cruelty, tw: implied/referenced drug overdose

fireproof by mostly_maudlin [Rated T, 2097 words, complete, 2024]

Andrew gets his flu shot.

Things Always Gets Worse Before They Gets Better series by Renee_Walker_09 [Rated G, 40141 words, incomplete, 3 complete works, 2024]

Part 1: Beginnings & Endings (G, 1083 words)

It's 1:30 in the morning. The Foxes are celebrating their championship win against the Ravens the only way they know how to: booze, partying, and a little bit more booze. Nothing could possibly ruin this?

tw: car accident, tw: major character injury

Part 2: You Mean Everything To Me (G, 12767 words)

There are two crashed cars. There’s blood on the floor. Lights are flashing all around. Andrew is standing in the middle of the crash site with a blanket draped across his shoulders as he stares straight at Neil, lying on the floor.

tw: car accident, tw: major character injury, tw: (temporary) major character death, tw: suicide attempt, tw: drug overdose, tw: blood, tw: self harm

Part 3: Hours, Days, Weeks (G, 26299 words)

Andrew is lying in a coma following the accident. His condition is critical. And Neil and Aaron have to find a way to cope.  Neil and Aaron’s POVs of the crash and the past 6 weeks

tw: car accident, tw: blood, tw: major character injury, tw: (temporary) major character death, tw: self harm, tw: panic attacks, tw: seizures

NB: find art for the fics by the author here as well as embedded in the fics

Even goalkeepers can’t block sickness by BlowingYourMind [Rated G, 12768 words, complete, 2024]

“Rabbit,” Andrew peered up at him with half lidded eyes, “Yes or no?” “Yes ‘Drew,” Neil clasped his hands at Andrew’s elbows, “it’s always a yes, you know that.” “No ‘s not,” Andrew weakly argued as he took hold of Neil’s chest pad, using it to leverage himself upwards. It was awkward work of walking half-delirious Andrew back to the locker room, shielding him from the crowd while keeping him on his feet, but they managed. Or Andrew becomes very sick at an away game, and Neil and the foxes take care of him.

tw: vomit

the upswing by missgivings [Not Rated, 45569 words, incomplete, last updated Jan 2024]

The next universe over, life has gone a bit easier on Andrew. He’s gainfully employed as a nurse of all things, working beside his best friend Renee, and living in relative harmony with his brother, the recently graduated Dr. Aaron Minyard. Everything’s fine. It’s fine that he hasn’t spoken to Kevin in person for three years. It’s fine if Aaron’s leaving him to marry his stupid doctor girlfriend. It’s fine until the boy with the box-dyed hair stumbles into the ER and passes out at his feet, bringing a world of secrets and trouble with him. And Neil? Neil’s looking for any port in a storm.

tw: major character injury, tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced self harm

please (don't bite) by Major_816 [Rated M, 5478 words, complete, 2024]

Genioglossus. It’s a fan-shaped muscle and forms the bulk of the inferior part of the tongue. It stretches to the hyoid bone too. ~ Neil wakes up to a bad day and it just gets worse.

tw: blood, tw: self harm, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: nightmares, tw: flashbacks, tw: vomit

Will you love me for who I am, not for who I was? by something_boring [Rated T, 1580 words, complete, 2024]

Neil is sick on New Year's eve, wakes up to the fireworks, and continues to have a panic attack about his time on the run.

tw: nightmares, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced child abuse

Your Needs, My Needs by TogeMythia [Rated T, 1073 words, complete, 2023]

‘Neil.’ He whined, his face still buried under the blankets. ‘Hrmph?’ Neil responded with a confused noise from somewhere across the bed. ‘Do you feel as shit as you sound?’ - Or Neil and Andrew wake up sick on Christmas day.

tw: vomit

To be safe by HushedStars [Rated G, 2116 words, complete, 2023]

Neil is feeling unwell. He seeks comfort from Matt. It was late at night. Neil stood in the kitchen, deep in thought but still with one ear alert for any movement of his roommates. He shifted from foot to foot, hands digging into his sore neck

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: panic attacks

Safe with him by 1mNot4Hum4n [Not Rated, 2434 words, complete, 2023]

Neil is sick but doesn't want to admit it. He can't be sick. He can't be weak. Luckily Andrew is there to make sure his junkie is okay, and remind him that he has people around him who are willing to do anything to protect him.

'tis the season by moonix [Rated T, 5579 words, complete, 2023, locked]

Five holidays Andrew had to let Kevin take care of him and one time he got to return the favour.

i called your name ‘til the fever broke by cyanica [Rated T, 5632 words, incomplete, last updated Nov 2023]

Neil’s breath is hot and awful against Andrew’s thigh. “I can’t be sick on your birthday,” he says, like it’s that simple. “I can’t be sick on you on your birthday.” “How considerate,” Andrew’s voice is a bland murmur, and he is left watching Neil’s bloodless, wet lips, as he curls into Andrew’s lap. Neil gently pulls away after a moment, leaning back into Andrew’s hand on his neck. “Is me being sick still making you anxious?” he asks. Fever-stricken with dizzied-eyes and delirious thoughts, he knows Andrew without more than a moment beside him, a look into his eyes that makes Andrew feel undone, found. Or Neil is sick and Andrew isn’t coping well.

tw: vomit, tw: panic attacks, tw: dissociation, tw: anxiety

You Know I'm Good On My Own by sambutwithbooks [Rated G, 4568 words, complete, Aftg Then And Now 2023]

Andrew breaks his arm two games into the season and it feels a little bit like Neil’s world snaps with it. (A snapshot of Neil and Andrew between Andrew coming home from the hospital and going back home to Palmetto State.)

tw: major character injury

that's my line by sillyunicorn6154 [Rated G, 1291 words, complete, 2023]

Andrew is definitely not sick. But he is a little stubborn.

You're not fine, but you will be by karmenvi [Not Rated, 616 words, complete, 2023]

Neil is sick, so Andrew takes care of him. So it was supposed to be a sickfic, but it turned into 'Andrew stares at Neil and thinks his boyfriend is the prettiest boy in the world.' Anyway, enjoy some fluff.

I'll be okay if he's here by obsessivereader156 [Not Rated, 1673 words, complete, 2023]

“Thank you, Drew,” Neil says for the twentieth time, feeling so lucky to have someone take care of him. “Say it again and I will kill you.” “You’re just so nice to me,” Neil says a bit deliriously, “I’ve never had someone take care of me when I’m sick.”

If it means losing you, then no by LostMess_24 [Rated T, 6712 words, complete, 2023]

There was something against his hand, a pressure he knew too well, a hand that fit so perfectly against his, making Andrew’s presence known, making Neil’s entire body relax, slowing his breathing a bit. But before Neil could see the man at his side, it hit him. He was starting to feel it, all around him. Those white walls, the mattress he was in, the soft yet old sheets, the pressure on his arm. And finally, unmistakably, the regular and aggressive beeps, signs of a life that was his own. He was in a hospital bed. There’s an accident. Those idiots would do anything and everything to protect each other.

tw: major character injury, tw: car accidents

cause and effect by mistyrie [Rated M, 13107 words, complete, 2023]

"Andrew realized what he was seeing but he couldn’t comprehend it. He didn’t know how to help. There was no enemy to deal with – there was just Neil seizing on the floor and Andrew didn’t know what to do." Neil starts having seizures and Andrew tries to help.

tw: seizures (epilepsy)

how the foxes act when they're sick by @detectivebambam [tumblr, 2024]

headcanons on the foxes and illness

headcanons on Neil getting sick by @24-0z [tumblr, 2022]

Neil doesn't get sick very often, so when he finally catches the bug that had been going around campus, he's suddenly 8 years old again, sweating and trembling with fever

SICK!Neil for my soul. by @satan-in-a-v-neck [tumblr, 2021]

Neil is acting strange. Ask every fox and they'll tell you that for the past three days Neil Josten wasn't acting very Neil Josteny.

tw: vomit

illness/injuries as background event:

The Songs Around Us by doodlingstuff [Rated M, 80075 words, complete, 2022]

The mission was simple: Nathaniel would join Astral Foxes as Neil Josten and make them part of Moriyama Music. In reality, Neil became real, found a home, and fell in love despite his lies. When the Moriyamas send the Butcher to remind Neil of his mission and Andrew's life ends on the line, Neil will have to find a way to escape his fate and bring Andrew back. As he gets closer to losing the man he loves the most, Neil will realize that sometimes, music is the only answer, and others, truth is the only weapon he can use. Another Band!AU. This time extra angsty.

tw: torture, tw: car accident, tw: major character injury, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: panic attacks, tw: violence

NB: find art for this fic by @doodlingstuff here

[whim-prone-pirate]

The Moment Each Disruptor Realized Benoit Blanc Was Gay As Hell: A Masterpost

I wasn't kidding when I said I'd do it.

In chronological order...

HELEN

Though Helen isn't technically considered a Disruptor by the rest of the group, I personally believe she's the only real Disruptor among them. That's a different post. Obviously, Helen realized first, as she met Phillip before she met Benoit. I think she assumed at first she had been greeted by some sort of housemaid because Phillip was wearing an apron—Then she saw the sourdough starter. That sold it. She saw Benoit in his stupid little robe and was like Oh fucking of course.

LIONEL

Lionel was obviously studying Benoit on the dock before the Disruptors and Benoit boarded the boat. While Lionel doesn't have the greatest gaydar in the world, as in, he's not looking for it upon meeting most people, he was looking to pick up on anything upon meeting Benoit. Here's this strange dude that none of us know and didn't expect to be here, what's his deal? As Lionel is trying to pick up something from Benoit, Claire starts fangirling over Benoit's previous case about the ballet dancer and Benoit says, "I'm obviously familiar with you all as well—Governor, Dr. Toussaint... Miss Birdie Jay." The way he talks to Birdie and says her name... Lionel understood. Unfortunately, Birdie did not. At all.

PEG

Also not a Disruptor but she's so important to me. Peg is a lesbian. She clocked Benoit as soon as she saw his outfit and heard his accent, but she was absolutely sure of it when she saw how he reacted to the anti-covid throat spray.

MILES

Miles' moment was difficult for me to pin down, mostly because he's fucking stupid and there is certainly a chance that he never realized at all. But, for the sake of the post, let's say that Miles noticed something was different about Benoit when he pulled him aside into the Glass Onion to ask why Benoit was there. When Miles said, "Someone reset the box. They sent it to you as a gag," and Benoit was so shocked that he raised his hand to his chest like a southern woman clutching her pearls... Miles still didn't get it, he was so caught up in his upset. But, after the ordeal in the Glass Onion, off-screen and on his own time, Miles thought about the interaction again, specifically that exact moment that I mentioned, and had the realization. Miles is so full of himself that he thought he was a genius for realizing.

WHISKEY

Whiskey saw him wearing a matching top-and-bottom bathing suit and a little scarf thing in a pool and absolutely understood. She didn't care at all, but she understood. Benoit was also the only one to have an open glass while walking (WALKING) through the pool. While I can't say for certain, it looks like the drink itself is just iced water with a lime. I think Benoit is one of the only people there who isn't drinking alcohol at the pool. That's not very important but I think it just adds to his whole ensemble.

BIRDIE

Of course, Birdie was one of the last to realize, or at least get a little hint of it. She had been hitting on Benoit since the first time she spoke to him at the dock. But, the moment that he said, "I'm going to embarrass myself here; I adore Sweetie Pants. I live in mine," she never made a move on him again. I think, based on the name, Sweetie Pants is a feminine clothing line and Birdie likely intended for women to wear the pants. After Benoit admits to not only wearing them, but loving them, she finally backs off. Immediately after Benoit says that, Miles begins talking about Birdie's career, and Birdie kinda smirks and bumps her eyebrows while gesturing towards Benoit. This could be taken to be her reaction to Miles' praise of her, but given Birdie's character and the context in which Miles is talking about this, I think it makes more sense for this to be Birdie's reaction to Benoit being very obviously gay. She gestures to him, like, "Oh my God, he wears Sweetie Pants, that's so gay. Benoit is gay, guys, do you see what I'm seeing?" Yes, Birdie. They do see it. You were the last one to see it.

CLAIRE

Claire was hard for me to define as well. She was so caught up in Klear and the aftermath of Andi's trial leading up to Duke's murder that I really don't think she was paying enough attention to Benoit to actually get it. I honestly believe that the first time she ever thought about Benoit as a person instead of as a detective that she thinks is really cool is when she was drunk in the minutes leading up to Duke's death. She didn't talk much because Miles was making his speech and dancing with Birdie, so I think she was looking around the room, landed on Benoit, and was too buzzed to really think about it too hard, so she had the very fleeting, yet eloquent thought of, "He's... gay. Yeah." She always kinda knew in the back of her mind, ever since the dock, but never got the chance to think about it.

DUKE

Duke never realized. I think he was on the cusp of getting it every time he was in an area with Benoit since the pool scene, but he's so alt-right that he thought in his head, "Haha! Benoit's kinda weird. That's so gay," because we all know he uses gay as a playful insult, but he never actually considered it a possibility. Then he died. Womp womp.

This is the most important post I've ever made. I appreciate the three people who asked me to make it.

(inspired by @mylasttwobraincellsandi and their post about the sweetie pants scene)

[kolachess]

Qiubing Chinese Fic Recs: What if rewrites

Sharing some more Qiubing fic recs from Lofter! Remember, these fics are written in Chinese, and so if you want to read them, you'll have to suffer some terrible MTL (or be able to read Chinese). Note: I’ve found that Safari’s built in translation seems to fare better than Google, as the names are least translated properly. I haven’t played around with other translators.

This round is focused on some of the (many) 'what if?' themed rewrites, which I'm currently obsessed with (in case you missed my first rec). Most of these involve rebirth / time-travel / consciousness returning to a previous part of the timeline. (Reborn here means to have been reborn into an earlier time.)

Note: Lofter is similar to Tumblr, and authors post chapters in individual blog posts. To find later chapters of the same work, just navigate to the author's page and search through blog titles with the same title (usually they'll number it somehow). Also, these titles tend to be more descriptive like a prompt rather than function like AO3 poetic titles.

Disclaimer: Crappy title translations and rough synopsis are mine... don't judge too hard 🤣). These synopsis notes are more for me to remember what the story is about... Also, my criteria for good Chinese fics is simply not being too OOC, and NO easter egg BS (i.e. the author basically tries to make money off of their fic by hiding majority of the story behind a paywall). My Chinese is too crappy to pick out good prose vs. bad prose haha.

Title TL: Sickly kitty, acting mode is on (WIP)

(AKA: What if Li Bing had returned to Shendu after those three years still sickly and with white hair, if he never entered Dalisi, but knew a lot of things?)

Synopsis notes: Mostly a canon rewrite, but with a LB who has white hair and prone to illness. LB still ends up involved in all the cases, but there's slightly less animosity between our favorite pair and more of QQZ trying to look after LB.

Title TL: Reborn before any tragedy occurs; this time we must have satisfaction (WIP)

(AKA: What if Li Bing's consciousness returns to a time when no tragedy had yet occurred?)

Synopsis notes: LB returns back to before their country started the war, before his father died, and before he parted with QQZ. He implores his father and QQZ to investigate the suspicious nature of the war, and thus they embark on more investigations. Features a stubborn LB, protective but indulgent QQZ, LB crossdressing as a woman because Wang Qi isn't there, redeemed Chen Jiu...

Title TL: What if after General Qiu died, Li Bing was reborn? (COMPLETE)

(AKA: What if LB returns to when he first took up his post as the Vice Minister of Dalisi?)

Synopsis notes: LB returns to when he first returned to Shendu and took on the Vice Minister post. Features a calm and shameless tease LB and a QQZ trying his best to remain unaffected and maintain a charade. LB keeps sneaking into QQZ's room in the middle of the night...

Title TL: If you eat (my) Li family's bing (cake), then you become my (Li Bing's) person (WIP)

(AKA: What if QQZ's consciousness returns to when he first met LB?)

Synopsis notes: QQZ returns to when he first met LB and tries to cue him into the conspiracy earlier and prevent all tragedies from happening. Features QQZ centric POV, which is a fresh take! Of course, doting and indulgent QQZ as always...

Title TL: A reborn Li Bing will definitely force Qiu Qingzhi to spill the beans (COMPLETE)

(AKA: What if LB was reborn to three years prior as QQZ returns from war and manages to force him to speak the truth instead of avoiding him?)

Synopsis notes: LB returns to when QQZ just returned from war and stubbornly refuses to let the guy ghost him. Featuring an alive and doting papa Li, sickly and fragile LB (no cat form), doting / protective / occasionally teasing QQZ, Yi Zhihua becoming bffs with LB (much to QQZ's chagrin), and everyone is happy.

[thebibutterflyao3]

Day 2 - Prompt: Luxuriate @pandalilymicrofics

February Daily Series - 695 words

**TW: brief mention of a parent’s transphobia**

<<<Previous Part

James mentioned a woman named “Lily” specifically. Why?

Pandora paused her frantic packing and grabbed her phone from the dresser. She needed more than a first name. After a thorough search through Sirius’s recent Instagram posts, she found one that was tagged @ lilyflower, but her profile was private.

“Aren’t you lovely?” she whispered, opening the photo of the pretty redhead dancing with Sirius.

“Where are you going?”

She ignored her brother’s question as she stuffed her mobile in the pocket of her skirt. Thankfully, this one was vintage and actually had usable pockets sewn in. Pandora tucked in the last few bits and bobs, then closed the bulging bag.

“Shut up and help me,” she huffed, tugging on the zipper.

Evan appeared at her side to lean on the top of the bag. “Don’t be snippy. Mum said you were ‘abandoning us for that girl,’” he imitated, scowling as he added, “so I assume the old cow meant Regulus.”

“Yes, I was invited to Wales to meet his new boyfriend. He’s from Scotland, I think, so taking a train to Wales was more convenient.”

“Can I come too? You can’t leave me here with them, Pandora,” he chastised, hitching his thumb over his shoulder. “You know as well as I do that their ‘party’ is complete shite.”

Pandora shook her head. “I didn’t buy the ticket, James did. Besides, I’ve had enough of you for one holiday.”

“Come on! I’m bored!”

“That’s what happens when you dump your boyfriend.”

Evan glared at her as she pulled the suitcase to the floor. “You know perfectly well why I had to do that! I didn’t want to. He’s just…”

“Toxic? An arsehole? A lying, cheating prick?” she suggested, smiling brightly.

“Says you! He wasn’t that way with me.”

“Then why did you break up with him?”

Evan ducked his head and grumbled under his breath. “Because he hurt Regulus.”

“Exactly!”

“But I didn’t know that when we started dating! We met at the shop, and it was long-distance most of the time. You didn’t know either, until you spoke to him,” he defended.

Pandora shrugged, then pulled up the handle on her suitcase. “Never met him in person and Reg didn’t like to FaceTime back then. That doesn’t change who he is. When you know better, you do better.”

“So what? You’re punishing me now? I have to stay here in hell while you luxuriate in some lush Welsh Inn?”

“I doubt it’s posh, Evan. It’s Wales, not Versailles.”

“I miss Versailles. So many pretty blokes,” he said wistfully. “We should go back.”

She waved him off as she searched for her purse. It was a bright green bag that she’d crocheted herself when she was in her yarn phase. “Then go back. No one’s stopping you. I’m quite happy in London. I have a decent job and a nice flat with Reg and Dorcas.”

“You don’t have to rub it in.”

“Sure I do. You made your choice, Evan, and I made mine.”

“I like my job! I just hate it here.”

She threw a hand up to stop the incoming tirade she’d heard on repeat since coming home last week. “Enough. You’re an adult, act like one.”

He closed his mouth and snatched up the handle of her luggage. She knew he was frustrated, but she’d hit her breaking point. Even compassion had its limits.

“Look, I’m sorry for leaving you behind. I just need to enjoy a little of this holiday. As much as I love you, you’re infuriating!”

“Me? You’re the one ripping my head off and hiding in your room!” Evan shot back, roughly yanking her suitcase down the stairs.

The case barely survived its perilous journey to the front door, and Pandora was grateful she’d remembered to tuck her glasses into its hard case for once. With a stern warning to stay awake to watch for “train hooligans,” her mother hugged her and shooed her away. Outside the house, a town car that James insisted on sending idled. Before she knew it, she was staring through double-paned train windows in first class as the world flew by while her mind fixated on one name.

Lily. Why did he mention “Lily?”

Next Part>>>

[ekdarnellbooks]

Jury Duty: Part 6 of 7

A spicy sci fi romance novelette in seven parts.

TW/CW: non-graphic descriptions of a court case where someone described as a "young boy" was tortured and murdered, graphic description of another murder, double penetration, double vaginal penetration, alien MMC, human FMC, tentacle smut.

MASTERPOST

PREVIOUS POST

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NSFW -- 18+ ONLY

Today was the day. She supposed a Monday, if she’d calculated that correctly, was as good a day as any for all of humanity to die.

Eleanor sat on her bed, in almost the same spot she’d been for the past day. A different Khureno had brought her dinner, breakfast, and dinner again. She tried to ignore the way her heart leaped when there was a knock at her door, and the way grief flooded her each time when it wasn’t Enzi.

Numb. That was the word. Eleanor was numb. In her mind, humanity was already dead, had died when that man murdered that little boy in the most horrific manner.

Fuck humanity.

No, the only decision she still had to make was whether she would go to Earth to die with the rest of her species or live as a talking point for some bougie Khureno family. Neither option seemed particularly pleasant.

A knock vibrated her door, and she beckoned them in. Another Khureno with her breakfast. The one last night had instructed her that the vote would occur after the morning meal. This was it.

Eleanor’s eyes widened as she realized it wasn’t just any Khureno standing in her doorway. It was Enzi. She resisted the urge to jump up, embrace him, and instead put on her best glower.

“What are you doing here?”

“I have brought you food,” he said, walking over to the bed and setting the tray next to her.

“Just leave me alone,” she whispered, without the energy to even keep up her glare. It would all be over soon.

“Please. I wish to speak with you.” His voice was quiet, dripping with remorse, which only pissed her off further.

“What do you want to talk about, Enzi?” A goading snarl sounded from her mouth.

“I… I am sorry. For what I said. Please, Eleanor. Regardless of your decision, your vote, I want you to stay with me. I want you to be mine. You are mine. Even if humanity is spared, I need you with me, by my side. My bold little human.”

Eleanor’s breath caught at his words, as if all the air had been ripped from her lungs.

Enzi… needed her? No one had ever needed her, had ever relied on her for anything. Sure, she’d had partners in the past, though they’d never lasted more than a few months.

No, the only person who needed her was that young boy, the one in his eternal resting place back on Earth. And she couldn’t even help him receive the justice he so deserved.

Enzi observed her, eyes darkening as he awaited her response. Eleanor stood to face him, a glimmer of hope in her heart.

“You… want me to stay?”

“Of course I want you to stay. Please, stay with me, Eleanor. We will travel the stars together.”

She had to admit that sounded pretty nice. Not just the idea of traveling through space, seeing new worlds and new species, but doing it with Enzi. Though she’d known him a short time, so short, she was comforted by him, intrigued by him, safe with him.

Eleanor grasped his clawed hand, pressing her other palm to his cheek. Enzi hummed, his eyes fluttering closed as he leaned into her touch.

“I was hoping you’d say that, you big fool,” she said with a laugh and he curled his mouth into a smile, fangs gleaming in the dim light of the room.

Tentacles circled around her waist, pulling her flush to his pebble smooth chest. It felt right.

Eleanor stood on her tiptoes, planting a chaste kiss on his mouth. Enzi moved his hands to her ass, gripping her tightly.

“We should… probably get to the meeting room. I don’t want to miss the vote,” she said, only half joking, a flicker of arousal kindling in her core.

“The vote will wait for us,” he replied, glimmering eyes darkening.

His words ignited the pulse in her core, and she didn’t resist when he pushed her back to sit on the bed. With his usual gentleness, Enzi removed her jacket and unbuttoned her blouse, taking his time as he undressed her, drinking in every detail.

Eleanor ran her hands over his lower stomach and chest, her nipples hardening with the chill of the room and the arousal burning through her. His skin was smooth, yet textured, like pebbles in a creek. Almost as if he were wet, though he wasn’t. Tentacles ran up her legs, hiking her pencil skirt up as they teased her thighs with massages.

An idea popped into Eleanor’s head, inspired by the memory of Enzi filling her, the way he encompassed her so fully that she could forget everything. She pulled away from the Khureno, shimmied out of her skirt, removed her bra and underwear, then crawled onto the bed. Settled on all fours, she peered back at Enzi’s, whose eyes were wide with the lust she knew burned through him as well, and bit her lip into a smile.

“I need you, Enzi,” Eleanor said, barely above a whisper.

The room buzzed with electricity. Enzi moved the food tray to the floor, respectable as always, then the bed creaked under his weight as he settled behind Eleanor. She kept her eyes on him as his clawed hands gripped her hips, tentacles causing shivers as they trailed down her spine.

“I need you too, Eleanor.” The words pleased her, just as much as the warm tentacles embracing her body, the solid grip at her waist. She needed to be filled, to be whole, to be one, knowing what would come next.

Eleanor jerked as a tentacle brushed across her entrance, but relaxed into Enzi’s sensual touch. He rubbed her rhythmically, pulsing her clit as he stroked her over and over again. “Beautiful. My beautiful little human. And so wet, so ready for me.”

Oh, she was ready for him, more ready than she’d ever been for anything. Enzi pressed the first tentacle in and Eleanor gasped, the sudden fullness setting her on fire. Warm appendages massaged her ass and her back as he thrust into her, and she pushed back onto him, letting him fill her more, more, needing more.

As if Enzi read her mind this time, another tentacle snaked up her ass, throbbing against her back entrance in time with the other tentacle. Exactly what she’d hoped he would do.

“We need lube if you’re going to do that,” Eleanor grunted, in between moans as Enzi’s tentacle continued to work into her cunt.

“Lube?” Enzi asked, his voice a low growl.

“A slippery liquid, to make the… tentacle go in easier.” Eleanor ignored the absurdity of explaining that to an alien, turning back to look at him. He nodded at her, then retracted the tentacle that had been prodding at her back entrance.

Her heart sank, for a just a moment, until she realized the tentacle was secreting something, coating itself in a shimmery liquid. Well, that certainly was convenient. What couldn’t these functional appendages do?

With one tentacle continuing to pump into her cunt, the other nudged at her back entrance once more, now slick with some sort of alien lube. Instinctively, Enzi knew to be gentle, pressing in with less vigor than he did with the one in her cunt, but enough to make Eleanor’s breath hitch as she felt herself be filled by him. Fuck, that was so good.

Finally adjusted to the protuberance in both of her holes, she pushed back onto him, letting him fill her more. Enzi grunted, clearly aroused by the view in front of him. Before she could ask, beg him for more, he was already there, pressing another tentacle into her dripping cunt and pulsing all three in time with her heartbeat.

Eleanor whimpered from the profusion, on the brink of overfull with the three tentacles satisfying her bottom end. “Enzi,” she whined, and he knew what she wanted.

His tail tentacles snaked around him, slithering up Eleanor’s sides and over her shoulders before running across her lips. Without hesitation, she opened her mouth to him, letting a tentacle hook each one of her cheeks as they thrust into her mouth, gagging her.

Tears burned her eyes at the overload of sensations, being filled to the absolute brim unlike anything she’d ever experienced. For the first time in a long time, perhaps forever, Eleanor was whole.

Tension knotted in her core, a deep welling of pleasure as she reached for her climax. When it finally hit, Eleanor cried in earnest, letting the tears roll down her cheeks as she writhed against Enzi.

“Yes, my beautiful human, use me for your pleasure, as I will use you for mine.” Growled words that lit an ember in her heart, even as she felt the waves of orgasm wash over her. Her climax extended longer than usual, aftershocks of pleasure still jolting through her even as she slumped onto the bed.

But Enzi wasn’t done. The tentacles still pulsed in synchronicity, increasing their pace as the Khureno approached his own climax. Eleanor was desperate to taste him, to have him drip from her ass and her cunt, to let him mark her as his.

“Eleanor,” Enzi groaned as he came, filling her with his salty seed.

The taste of brine washed down her throat as warmth trickled between her thighs. Again, it lasted longer than Eleanor expected, seed overfilling her from both ends, as swells of pleasure washed between them. The spurts eased to a trickle, and she swallowed the last bit of him, Enzi slowly removing his tentacles, one by one.

Eleanor slumped onto her side as he crawled up the bed to pull her into a tight embrace. Whispered promises in her ear, Enzi telling her all the places he would take her, all the things he wanted to show her. She smiled at his words, though the ache in her chest didn’t quite dissipate, knowing what was to come. What she had to do.

[copperbadge]

I know that it’s been a Very Long Time but do you ever get terribly nostalgic for old/less active fandoms? I confess I recently came back to tumblr and saw that I followed you. I was like, of course Sam storyteller, the Bucky guy. But then I got a hankering for my older and dearer by far love Ianto Jones and went back to reread some of the greatest hits and I remembered. You are not the Loki guy. You are the Ianto guy, to me, and I can’t believe I forgot that. I miss that fandom so much it was so fucking. Toxic. The Gwen bashing, I simply cannot romanticize it in good conscience. But the fic quality and diversity was, dare I say it, nearly unparalleled (in my heart). Like when it hit it really hit you know? A golden age of trashy sci fi indeed. I miss my dead welsh son. Sorry to ramble in your ask box about the dubious old days

Anon, I am so sorry, a bunch of my asks got pushed way down in the inbox and then I forgot they were there, so apologies this is MONTHS late in getting posted.

I, eh, I don't really get nostalgic for old fandoms. Usually I leave them for a reason, but even if I just drift away, my experience of a fandom is pretty fundamentally different from most because of my higher profile. There are things I can't do or say in a fandom that other people could, and there are things that happen to me outside of my control. They're not even necessarily bad things, just stuff like...I'll write a fic in a new fandom, and people from my previous fandom will start engaging with the canon because I did. So often, rather than just falling away from a fandom, I'll leave a fandom and drag a bunch of people with me. They might not even leave the older fandom, but they come along to the new one too.

And often the wanks that pull people in without their consent simply don't touch me because there's a portion of fandom that is either scared of me (or my readers) or just doesn't want anything to do with me. I can't determine which.

Torchwood's a pretty good case in point -- the Gwen bashing was extreme. I wasn't a fan of Gwen but what I saw from the antigwenallies was really, really gross. Still, even though I wrote fic about Gwen and engaged in meta around her presence in the show, I avoided them and thus had exactly one interaction with them ever, which was when they posted up a fic of mine as "anti-Gwen" and I asked them to remove it and never recc anything of mine again. They did, and that was the end of that. Nobody ever came to my posts to attack her or me. Likewise, there was one really, really aggressive anti-Ianto wanker, but she never engaged with me or even as far as I know talked about me, despite the fact I was a huge Ianto fan and wrote a lot of fic about him. I really hated the shit she said, but I also didn't see any value in arguing, so I left her alone and she left me alone. (I won't name her because I checked up on her a few years ago and it turns out she was struggling with serious mental health issues that she'd gotten a lot of help for, and felt really terrible about the things she'd done, so I'm actually quite proud of her. But if you know you know.)

I also just...have a bad memory, so I often don't remember what happened in a fandom, or even sometimes that I was in a fandom. Most of the memories I do have are either vaguely warm and friendly, or "avoid this fandom/person at all costs" based in a negative interaction (which I sometimes don't remember the details of).

So yeah...I mean, Torchwood ended pretty terribly so I don't miss it in part because I try not to think about it. Generally if I have a good time in a fandom and then leave it, it's because I simply said all I had to say there. But I'm usually looking forward, not back, just because the past is a bit of a fog bank for me, most of the time.

[espresso-ships]

Account update!

Heyy!

I've missed interacting with my lovely mutuals on here so I just wanted to do a quick update for you all.

And I'm sorry if I've missed posts I've been tagged in! I'm not ignoring, just been pretty offline lately. <3

This could probably come across really petty but I promise that's not my intention.

Like I said in my previous post, the algorithms on Tumblr have been messing with my account lately. I've noticed many posts of mine don't show up in tags, or simply get lost among other posts.

It's my anxiety speaking but it makes me really anxious and paranoid - aka thinking my mutuals don't want to interact with me/that I've done something wrong etc. :/ Although I know that's not the case, but still

(This is just how I'm feeling rn, and it's NOT towards someone, just a vent.)

It's also tiring to be attacked by anon proshippers simply for setting boundaries for myself and my account - like come on you guys...

Basically - Being on Tumblr is not good for my mental health right now 🥲

I'll still be posting, but maybe not as much. I'm more comfortable being on Instagram rn, so follow me there if you want! <3

(My username is @ varganardi)

So yea, that's a little update ahshsha

Once again - Love ya and thanks to everyone that supports my acc <3

Might delete this post later but wanted to put it out here

[damnfandomproblems]

I have some kind of disjointed thoughts adding on to #5718.

Often on Twitter I'll see interactions like "these are my OCs! ^^"

"Cool! ^^ what fandom are they from?"

"None, they're just mine"

And like nothing WRONG with that but having some sort of simple differential between the two could reduce the amount of these types of exchanges.

2. As someone in the comments points out people often use "oc" as a negative connotation, to imply that they're cringy, cliche, or badly designed and/or written, that their creator is juvenile and unprofessional. And when someone has a fan character people will say as a compliment that they're "too good" to "just" be a fan character, and ask why they don't just turn them into their own story. People perhaps see fan characters (and fan fiction in general) as a "crutch" but I think people ignore that there's a particular amount of skill that goes into weaving a character in to the established lore. There have been a few times where a fan character has been so well integrated that it honestly feels a little weird that they're NOT canon, because of how well they mesh with the cast, setting, and story. In cases like these, I think people may be missing the point a little bit when they suggest that you "graduate" them into being an original character for an original story. Like, thanks, but that's not why I made them. To remove them from this specific setting would require serious re-writing, which is possible but would also make them NOT this character.

3. Regarding 761097468022784000:

I've had a similar question for a long time, I'm definitely the type of person to get unhealthily attached to a seemingly insignificant character after minimal screentime. Not sure why, there's just something about them. I always like to try to expand on them, by reading very much into very little, and extrapolating everything I can from the scant amount of information we do have on them. The thing is, I try to make them as "canon compliant" seeming as possible, I want them to feel tied to this world. I think of them as OCs, but that's not really right, they weren't MY character originally, but I've definitely thought about them WAY more than the person who DID create them. They've got one line of dialogue and I've got their entire life story. They FEEL like mine--but I know they're not.

Posting as a response to a previous problem. (links to this ask.)