#in case it wasn’t clear I am a lesbian

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

I think like… if Dean was ever stuck in a woman’s body for a bit bc of a spell or something.

1) She wouldn’t only accept being a girl, but would completely not understand the innate genderfuckery, because Dean Winchester has never perceived any difference between gender identity and appearance/presentation. If you’re a girl you’re a girl, if you’re a boy you’re a boy, “trans” means you want to be the other one. If gender ≠ physical body then why do trans people transition etc (not my personal opinion to be clear. Just how I think Dean would see it)

2) She would suddenly have no issue openly being with Cas, because Dean Winchester does NOT like dudes, which means she’s a lesbian, and according to google lesbians can be attracted to anyone who isn’t a man including nonbinary and agender and all those new genders and stuff, and Cas isn’t a man, he’s an angel or whatever he even counts as now, and if you’re a dude it’s gay to date anyone that isn’t a woman, but if you’re a chick it’s still lesbian to date anyone that’s not a dude. And Dean Winchester really needs everyone to know that she’s a lesbian. She might even ask Cas what gender he is and get him a pride pin with some flag she’s never even heard of so that everyone knows that Cas is some kind of other Gender and Dean is a lesbian. She’s not into dudes. She’s not straight. (The internalized biphobia gets seriously tragic here, bc the shit bi wlw face….)

(Eesh that got a bit too real for a second)

I also think she’d still go by “Dean”, because cool tough butch lesbians having guy names is really hot and probably some kind of turn-on her tbh, she probably grows her hair out just long enough to slick it back, and rocks up to places with greaser hair and bad smoky eyeliner and lip gloss and tight jeans and boots and a low cut tank top with the leather-coat-over-flannel hanging half off her shoulders, and the thing is that it absolutely works and other lesbians just fall all over her, either out of attraction or envy. …Dean is taken, though.

[chas3supremacist]

delicate pov.

pairing/s: Allison Cameron x Fem!Reader, platonic Robert Chase x Fem!Reader, brief James Wilson x Daughter!Reader

summary: tales of the second, third, and hundredth time you saw Dr. Chase try to make a move on your girlfriend.

CW: angst, Chase’s unrequited and unreciprocated love for Cameron, a lack of dialogue??? Cameron is a canon lesbian idgaf

word count: 1600 words

a/n: oh god. my second house fic. Another mid classic from Amy less go, as always, feedback is always appreciated!!! I am also very gay for Jennifer Morrison!!!

At this point in your and Allison’s relationship, you were regretting having such great taste in women - Your girlfriend was easily one of the most beautiful women you had ever seen in your life, and it was blatantly clear that you were not the only person who thought so. In the 6 months you had been seeing Allison, it had taken 3 of the 6 months for you to notice the way that Chase looked at her - He looked at her like he loved her. At first, you had brushed it off - you knew that she wasn’t interested in any man, never mind her co-worker. But then she started flirting back at him.

You watched the two of them discuss their case from across the room, you sat alone, deciding that you didn’t want to make yourself involved in something that didn’t concern you, even if it meant watching your girlfriend talk and almost flirt with the man who was deeply in love with her - It would have shocked you to see if it were not the first time you had noticed what was going on between the two. It hurt, but who were you to stick your nose where you weren’t wanted; You were just a paediatrician, nowhere near a diagnostician, even though House, on a few occasions had sought after your opinion - which he proceeded to insult but only after you were proved right. But you had grown to expect that from house - you had known him for most of your life since you were born from the first of your dads car crash marriage, House had been a part of your life since your parents divorce when you were 3 years old. Now, it felt like House was trying to piss you off for some reason - that he wanted Chase and Cameron to be together instead of you and her.

The third time you noticed them flirting was during a charity event that the hospital was hosting. Chase and Camerons ‘friendship’ had driven a wedge between you and your girlfriend, so much that you had been staying over at your dad’s for the past week - Not like Cameron noticed, she was too busy out late with Chase. You were so unsure of what to do. Did you risk losing the woman you loved over something so silly like her having a close male friend? No, you were just being paranoid, right? Right.

Wilson sighed as he watched you down another glass of champagne, looking at your girlfriend from across the room, nothing but admiration for her in your eyes.

“I can feel you watching me, dad,” You alerted your dad that you were aware of his presence behind you. “Don’t you have to following House around like a lost puppy?” Wilson knew that you were verging on drunk, so opted to take the empty champagne flute out of your hand, despite your protesting and furious pout.

“Why don’t you, I don’t know, talk to her?” You rolled your eyes at your dad’s suggestion - as if you hadn’t tried that already. “I’m just trying to help you, honey. I know that you love her,” Wilson had already had this talk with you - however, after considering your dad’s track record of marriages and failed relationships, you didn’t listen the first time when you were sober, so there was minimal chance of you listening when you were drunk. Wilson also knew that you weren't going to listen to him - but he thought it was better to try, he knew that you loved Cameron with everything in you, but it was hard to love her when all she did was spend time with Chase, a man so obviously in love with her.

"I do love her," You trailed off, looking over at her and Chase, watching as he leaned in to kiss her - but you looked away, you couldn't watch that. Your heart stopped as you turned your back on the two; You did, however, miss that Cameron smacked him for trying to make an advance on her. "I'm going home."

You were gone before your dad could try and convince you to stay, and before Cameron could find you.

She had grown tired of him now - of how he would always bring up old memories of their times out together; conveniently leaving all mentions of you out. She was tired of him flirting with her, despite her shutting him down every time, she didn't care if it was harmless flirting - it was harming her relationship with you. You had stopped taking your lunch break at the same time, you were always home late or working a nightshift. Cameron knew now that she had perhaps taken this thing with Chase too far - she knew that you were sometimes too shy or reserved to speak about how you were actually feeling, you were a people pleaser, even if it meant you would lose your girlfriend. She watched as you sat by yourself in the cafeteria, you looked exhausted, your concealer barely minimising the bags under your eyes - Cameron's heart broke at the very sight of you. Ignoring whatever Chase was talking about, she made her way over to you, sitting down on the chair in front of you.

"Y/N?" You looked up at the familiar mention of your name, giving your girlfriend a weak smile as you looked up at her. 

"Hey," You greeted her quietly, a dam of tears building behind your eyes, frightened if you spoke any louder than you did, that the dam would break. "Is Chase not here today?" You questioned her in the same quiet voice as before, you weren't in any way being snarky; as of late, it just felt like you were an afterthought to your girlfriend. Letting out a defeated sigh, she frowned and reached out to hold your hands.

"I know I've been a terrible, terrible, girlfriend recently," She started, looking you in the eyes, trying to be as sincere as possible - she needed you to know how much she loves you, to know how much she admires you for every single thing you do, for how much you love her from the deepest corners of her heart despite everything. "And I know that you'll tell me that it's okay but it's not. I never meant to make you feel this way and I feel terrible for doing this to you, but I need you to know that I love you, Y/N." You looked at her blankly as she spoke. "Your dad told me that you left after the charity event after you saw Chase try to kiss me, but I need you to know that I didn't let him. I turned away from him and then I smacked him, I came to find you but you were gone by the time that I found your dad." She explained.

"And what about the flirting? Did you mean any of that?" You asked, a little louder than the last time you had spoke, your voice breaking. Cameron shook her head fervently, still holding your hands in hers.

"No. Not at all. I love you, and I know it doesn't feel that way but I love you so much Y/N, and I want you to come home, to our home," You knew she was being sincere, but how could you guarantee that she wouldn't immediately go back to being inseparable best friends with Chase. Sighing, you nodded. You accepted that you would just have to trust her word and that she loved you - You knew that trust was just as important as love was in any relationship, and you suspected that this was why your relationship had survived this hardship, because a part of you trusted Cameron to not get involved with Chase. "Please, come home."

"Okay, I'll come home."

-

Going home that night, you felt some sort of relief knowing that you'd be going home and that Cameron was definitely going to be there, waiting for you since she got off work before you did. As you opened the door to your shared apartment, you kicked your shoes off and hung up your jacket, making your way into the living room, where Cameron had fallen asleep on the couch, wrapped in your throw blanket. You smiled to yourself before kneeling down in front of Cameron, gently nudging her shoulder, laughing softly as she groaned.

"Hey sleepy," You greeted her jokingly, smiling as she gave a sleepy pout. "Come on, let's go to bed." You said quietly, taking your throw off of Cameron and folding it up, then placing it behind the couch on top of her own. You followed her to your bedroom, watching her get comfortable in bed as you stripped down and into your pyjamas then get into bed beside her.

"I love you...so so so so much," Cameron assured you, despite how obviously sleepy she was. You smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, smiling against hers as you finally felt settled once more in bed with the love of your life.

"I love you more."

[squirreljc2]

I’ve been thinking about why I have mixed feelings on OFMD season 2, and I think I’ve partially figured it out?

In this season, they’ve introduced some really strong new characters like Zheng and Archie, and I love both of them. But it kinda feels like the writers don’t know how to keep new characters around with some kind of romance? I do really like Jim and Archie’s relationship, and I think they’re very adorable, but I also don’t think they needed to be a couple, at least, not yet? Jim and Oluwande were one of the best relationships in season 1. Their relationship was full of pining and missing each other and now they’re just… different. They’ve had one conversation this season that wasn’t about Zheng, and there has been no conclusion to the relationship they established in season 1 (which was explicitly mentioned by Zheng when she asks about the status of their boatmance, and there’s never a clear answer given). Archie and Jim being in a relationship is weird to me with how quickly this happened. It sorta feels like denkins heard people wanted lesbians and just sacrificed a major established relationship for a brand new nblw couple. Archie doesn’t really strike me as the relationship type from what we know about her, so her coupling just feels like a way for them to keep her around rather than a genuine move the characters would make. (She gives me the biggest aro vibes). And Zheng and Olu is just. Strange. Olu is canonically oblivious to all of her advances until right before they leave her ship, but they treat it as though he’s been pining for her this whole season. Which. Is not the case. Again, it feels like the show is pushing him towards Zheng to clear a path for Jim/Archie, and so they have a reason to keep Zheng around. The women in this show are all very strongly written, but they’re all being shoved into romances with the central crew of the ship, which is just unnecessary. They even gave Spanish Jackie a crew member husband (which again, IS A RELATIONSHIP I ENJOY). It feels as though the writers don’t feel like they can come up with a better reason for a woman to stick around besides coupling her up.

Also, I do think this season having fewer episodes is detrimental because we can’t focus as much on the non-captain part of the crew. Season one did a great job of fleshing out the crew and their backstories, but season 2 has had such a heavy focus on stede and Ed that everybody else has fallen to the wayside.

I am enjoying the season, but I do miss the ensemble-y vibe from season 1

[girldragongizzard]

Chapter 8: The disaster

The officer who’s been talking turns on a flashlight and shines it through the window of the door into the rest of the cafe and swings it around, squinting. I look away before the light passes over me. There isn’t much point to what he’s doing, because the shop lights are on, but he’s clearly doing it to be an asshole.

Then he states, “We’d like to interview the others in your establishment.”

“I’ll ask them if they’ve seen him,” Kimberly says. Then she turns to the rest of us and shouts, “Have any of you seen [deadname] or know where he is?”

We all shake our heads. 

I don’t look back to acknowledge while I do this, just in case my retinas are reflective. I am in my human disguise, but that only works if one of my tells doesn’t give it away.

“Nope!” Kimberly reports back to the police officer.

“We’d like to search the premises.”

“You’ll have to come back with a warrant to do that.”

“We can do that,” the officer says with a bit more volume and irritation. “What are you all doing in there?”

“After hours staff meeting, sir,” Kimberly reports.

Nathan is doing a great job of looking official and imposing, without looking exactly threatening, while standing next to Kimberly. He’d normally be the one to talk to the police like this, and he’s usually very good at it. But Kimberly beat him to the punch.

The officer scowls and says something to his partner, then asks, “What about?”

“The dragon,” Kimberly says, looking a bit more serious and earnest. “We need to figure out what to do about her. She’s turning out to be a real disaster.”

That does not go over my head, and I cannot believe she just said that with an even tone of voice.

Miriam smirks and stifles a snicker.

Jill shushes her.

And it’s at that the officer relaxes.

“That’s understandable,” he says a bit less audibly. Then louder again, “You let us know if you see him again. You call it in, you hear? We’ll take care of him. Have a good night, and don’t stay here too late.”

“You got it! Yes, sir!”

As the police go about leaving, Kimberly and Nathan make their way back to our circle.

And Ptarmigan puts her sketchbook away and says, “I can do that all night, every night.”

“Do what?” Kimberly asks.

“Subtly keep the authorities from really bothering you.”

“Why were they here in the first place, then?”

“Extreme circumstances, and I slipped up,” Ptarmigan replies. “Fixed it, though. This probably works out better, anyway.”

“How so?”

“They came, they saw, and they feel like they did their job,” the Artist of Nightmares explains.

Cerce leans forward, “So, now Meg is wanted on suspicion for causing a car wreck?”

“Anurak says she didn’t even come near it,” Caleb speaks up, looking at his phone.

“I didn’t,” I type. “That was Anurak. I was in the sky, though. Circling. Everyone saw me. Interested.” It’s so much easier for me to report facts now, but I think I’m coming back to myself from being stunned by the onslaught of “observations” from my friends.

It’s weird. The shock of adrenaline from the police makes it easier for me to think. It’s washed my other emotions free of my mind.

Rhoda really did invite me to spend the night with her, if I get really serious about something.

She said that if this was just a story, then what she’d been doing was something she never wanted to do. The role she was playing. And it doesn’t occur to me right away what role that was. So I consider her next statement that I remember, which was that if it all wasn’t just a story, she wasn’t doing everything for just me.

I thought we were doing everything for each other. Well. OK, for all the dragons in the city, originally, which is basically for me, yes. But once we’d identified just who and what Säure is, then it became clear the scope of things.

Except, it kind of starts to hit me. Probably because of the whole useless lesbian disaster thing.

What was Rhoda doing just before she left? She was telling me who and what I was.

That’s all she did in this meeting. And I wasn’t really ready to hear it. Which is pretty typical of the hero of a sto – Ah.

I start to sink in my chair, I feel so fucking embarrassed.

I think I can puzzle this out so many different ways in the framework I’ve made for myself.

Like, if I’m a story and a myth, like I’ve come to believe thanks to Wentin, then maybe I can’t be the hero. The hero would be someone else.

And I think I can make that fit a lot of the point that Rhoda might have been trying to make, but not all of it. Except she explicitly said, she doesn’t see me as a story or a myth. And the others agree.

Maybe I’m the story of a dragon who’s become a person. A story who’s become a person. Like Kim, Cerce, and Kimberly were saying. But then, that means I’m just a person now. Like I’d been striving to believe and fight for a few weeks ago.

But, if that’s the case, then how can I break physics with the power of narrative like I’ve done?

Do I have to choose? One thing or the other? The solidarity and comfort of being a person, or the power of being a myth?

I think I know which one I’d rather have, honestly, but the consequences scare me shitless.

As everyone is settling back down while talking about the encounter with the cops, and my brooding thoughts are dragging me further into my seat, Wentin makes a spooky whistling noise behind me and then speaks up.

“I am also done here,” it declares. “Meghan, I have more training for you. When you are ready for it, find me in the places you fear the most.”

And then it’s gone before anybody looks.

And I have a full body flashback.

—

Something small and hard hits me in the back of my right shoulder as I’m crouched over the Tonka tractor in the school sandbox. It bounces off me, stinging, and I see the rock arc over my head and land in the dirt.

It’s noon, of course, being lunch, and there’s enough sun that my shadow is stark against the ground beside me.

When this happened, I had turned to face my assailants, four of the boys. And the big sandy blonde one had been yelling at me. And nothing after that went down the way I would have liked.

But this time, out of the corner of my eye I see my shadow transform and unfold as I crouch forward onto all four legs, stretching wings, tail and neck out, to work out the kinks, and screech.

And this time, when I turn, my vision widening as I do to encompass the entire schoolyard as it should, what I see are children desperately trying to turn and run fast enough to get away from me.

My prey drive kicks in and I chase them down, just as I did in my imagination a hundred times over that day.

The visit to the nurse’s office will be different this time.

It won’t be my blood.

—

I may have snarled, but I’m surrounded by friends in my favorite coffee shop.

“Hey, Meghan,” Bri asks, “Are you OK?”

Chairs are knocked over and I’m no longer disguised. I’m fully me.

No one’s hurt, but I probably should have gone to counseling today.

I look around and find my tablet on the floor below my chest, so I draw it out and type, “Startled. Wentin did something. I think.”

I think.

“Yeah, it does that to me too,” Nathan says.

“I go,” I say. “Need alone.” Then I pick up my tablet and start putting it into my purse.

But Kimberly comes forward and says, “Hey, it’s OK. You just had a fight today with the biggest dragon anyone’s seen. We’re all jumpy. Have a sit down and I’ll make you some tea. I think we’ve got more planning to do after you’ve calmed down. Like about how you’re gonna go up and see Rhoda.”

“No,” I say.

I mean, she’s right. That’s what I need to do. But I’m not ready to do it. And to get myself ready, safely, I think I need my rooftop, as dangerous as that might be.

It’s way past sunset.

But I’ll be awake, pacing. I’ll be ready if Säure tries anything.

“No,” I repeat and finish what I’m doing. “Me. Go. Now.”

Cerce leans over to look Kimberly in the face and says, “Let her go. I think she knows what she needs. We’ve got this.” Then to me, “Meghan, we’ve got this. We’ll figure this all out. We’ve got all the knowledge and the tools. You take all the time you need.”

“It’s true,” Ptarmigan says, and Chapman looks at her.

“Hold up,” Chapman says, and rushes over to my side as I’m headed for the door. Sie looks me in the eye. I don’t even need to turn my head. And sie says, “I’m gonna come up there. Just for a few minutes, OK? The roof, right? I want to make sure you’re safe. Then I’ll leave you alone.” Then she turns to Bri and Miriam, “Can I use the chalk you use for your menu boards?”

Miriam gestures to the front, “There’s a tub of it under the counter. Use as much as you need. We’ll get more before we need to change the menu.”

“Thank you.”

—

It’s interesting to watch as Chapman wordlessly scrawls out the pattern of an esoteric and intricate circuit around me.

In the dark, the chalk glows.

But, I’m already left to my thoughts, and the company isn’t at all distracting.

I have so much to consider. So much to review and re-examine.

If my childhood is really where I began to learn to be a person, then not only is it part of my story, so is the rest of my adolescence and adulthood.

I was never who I was back then, but I was there. It was still me.

I know of trans people who were more dissociated than I was. Who, in their transition, the shell of the person they’d been pretending to be either shattered and took huge swaths of memories with it, or turned out to be a whole other person sharing their body with them. Maybe they’d have DID for a month or so until they worked it out. I definitely know some of them did that, worked it out, made peace with their old selves and reintegrated. And, of course, there are others who didn’t, who are still two or more people sharing a body.

I idly wonder if there are any people with DID who aren’t technically trans in some way.

I wonder if Astraia is trans, not for the first time. But that’s beside the point.

That didn’t happen to me.

The shell, the act, the way that I presented myself through my egg years was so thin. I did know what I was, at least in terms of being a dragon. And I guess I just leaned on the basic trauma responses of freeze and fawn, most of the time, to get through everything. There was definitely some fleeing. And a lot of daydreaming.

I was dissociated from my body and the world around me, not from myself.

Not that that makes me better than anyone else. It’s just what happened.

I’m pretty sure, at least. I can’t think of any time where it felt like I was a different person or someone had control of my body that wasn’t me.

But it still feels right to say that I was never the person a lot of other people wanted me to be, for the longest time. And I wasn’t fully present.

And in time, I ended up running away from everyone who hurt me just by looking at me, and I found myself in this building, with these neighbors and this coffee shop.

I haven’t been naming the shop because I can’t bear to give it a fake name like I’ve been slowly giving everything and everyone else. It’s too important to me. I want the truth of it to shine as brightly as possible.

The staff and the regulars there are people, apparently, who saw me before I finally got to see myself. And I’ve already said that in so many ways, but it’s amazing how incredible that is. It’s amazing how rare.

And then here was Rhoda, maybe seeing something even more in me than that.

She literally gave me my voice.

She didn’t make it.

It wasn’t an enchantment or spell or Art.

She just found it free in the app store and then paid a little bit for the pro version, and gave it to me.

Maybe she had to look hard for it, though. Because, out of curiosity, I’ve looked at a bunch of other AAC apps that are out there, and so many of them really suck. Or, at least, they’re not suited to me and my needs. Rhoda found just the right one.

She’s also invited me regularly back to her apartment for a nightly evening of tea and conversation, despite how I’d been attacked in my own by Joel that day she gave me my voice.

And that’s the same day I met Chapman, who’s doing what sie can to take care of me now.

Chapman, whom I still goofily enamored with, when I think about it. But sie has said we have all of the time in the world to figure that out, and now I know what sie means by that, and I don’t feel so rushed to get to know hir.

We can put a pause on our friendship, or partnership, or whatever we’ll be, until I’ve worked things out with Rhoda. Which is nice, because Rhoda is clearly uncomfortable around Chapman to the extreme.

They’ve worked together. They’ve cooperated. They haven’t really even fought. But Rhoda’s drawn her line, and Chapman’s on the other side of it.

And I thought I was, too. But apparently, I’m not? Maybe I’m right on the line.

I look off toward the East, where we all last saw Säure flying.

I’d really like to see him destroyed. And everyone like him. But, honestly, I always have. Mostly, I need him, specifically, out of my hair.

Which is an interesting need, because I don’t have hair.

Eh, it’s an idiom.

What is it that Rhoda sees in me?

I’m not such a disaster that I can’t see, at this point, that she wouldn’t have given me this chance if she didn’t feel like she needed me in her life for some reason.

Maybe I already give her something without even knowing it.

Maybe it’s time for me to go and find out what that is.

Chapman’s just finishing up hir work, and when sie’s done sie comes over to me and says, “If Säure comes anywhere near this building, this will give him a huge, distracting surprise. And it should give you time to escape. Just jump off the side and hide in the alley, or run. On the ground. You know the idea. And, when you’re ready to leave, if he hasn’t shown up yet, try not to smudge it. It’ll still be useful for the night. There’s a path to the hatch, and I’m going to take it now.”

I do wonder how other cities are handling their big fucking billionaires. If any of them are also dragons. Do they have their own Artists of… what? Doing whatever it is they do to protect them?

If the Artists are in control of everything, they’ve let the billionaires exist. And if other billionaire dragons are as big as Säure, it is kind of on them, then, isn’t it?

Säure’s the only one who’s intimated that’s how it works.

“Thanks,” I say.

“You have a good night, Meg. And good luck,” Chapman says. “I need to go keep an eye on Ptarmigan. And Cerce is right. We’ve got this. It’s a complicated knot, but I happen to make knots. And Ptarmigan unravels them, in her way.”

I bow my head.

“Your family cares about you,” Chapman says. “That’s what anybody really needs.”

Kind of a weird thing to hear from one of the Artists, actually. But probably true.

And then sie leaves.

My family.

Did I ever mention I have a younger sister? Four years younger than me. And she’s doing pretty well for anyone living in this world. Raising her own family down in Seattle.

My parents visit her pretty regularly.

I haven’t been, because I didn’t have the money or the means.

But it occurs to me now that I could just fly there now. And if I’m quiet and respectful about it, I could probably avoid fights with any of the dragons down there now.

Heck. They might even have a Seattle message board or Discord server that puts mine to shame. Just pop on there and let them know when and where I’ll be, visiting family who I’m not sure even really wants to see me, and I’d probably be OK.

But that’s not the family Chapman was talking about.

I stand up and fold myself into my magical girl faerie princess outfit and start walking toward the hatch while I adjust my purse to hang crossbody.

[spitinsideme]

I’ll always come back to ya darlin since you asked so nicely ~<3 glad you ain’t getting tired of me. Also read the fic and was extremely flattered I’m looking forward to read more of it haha. Anywho peach I hope you been well and been eatin well and drinkin enough water. Wouldn’t want cha to get sick now so make sure you dress warmly during these cold winter days. [Unless you need me to hold on to ya to warm you up ;) ]

P.s I don’t need to dress warmly cuz knowing that a pretty woman cares about what I have to say keeps me warm [in case it wasn’t clear you’re the pretty woman ~<3]

P.s.s I know good soup recipes if want them or I could cook them for ya if you like

Love,

Southern Lesbian anon 💋

thank you vrry much my llvely sputherm lesbian anon but reading your asks is enoigh to grt my skin flused and heating up, and im vrry sure having you with me would make me hotter than rver ... also i just dont get cold easily i get HOT with any weater above 10 degrees celsius its like a superpower but i am so glad youd go to tjat length and offer ❤️❤️ you are the best ...

i do not like soup but thank uou forthe offer, id rsther have you instead babygirl 💪💪🌈 but also do send the soup recipes along id love to hear what you loke to cook

[simplyjustadrain]

Welcome to the Scott Pilgrim Marauders Map, this came to me in a vision from the heavens after reading the Scott Pilgrim comics and spiralled wildly out of control.

This is sort of a plan for a fic? I’ve written a couple things before but nothing super detailed or longer than maybe 500 words so this would be a huge project and I’m putting it here because my friend (@folkwhore12) told me to and I do whatever she says, also just in case anyone just as insane but better at writing than me wants to take this up and write it hehe.

Couple things to note, this would be extremely Pandora x Lily centric, I love Jegulus more than I love breathing but I swear there is a drought of Pandalily fics in this fandom and I am so very close to dying of thirst. Let the lesbians have their fun.

Another thing is I want to make it clear that Pandora in this is not a weirdo and is not dating a minor, whilst she may be the Scott Pilgrim of this universe she isn’t as deeply flawed as he is. She’s Scott in the way they’re both autistic and kind of a loser. The Scott Pilgrim universe is all about overcoming flaws and all that and honestly this idea came from Pandalily rather than character exploration, but trust me her struggles would not revolve around dating children.

As for Lily, she is just Ramona Flowers. I don’t really need to say more but i’m going to because I love Lily and she deserves more recognition. I love the comics because they’re about Ramona just as much as they’re about Scott and I really felt that in the new anime as well. In my head Lily is a perfectionist, she likes to have control over everything which is why, like Ramona, she’s been the one to break off every relationship.

Ok as for the more fun aspects of this I know it’s insane I’m well aware.

Introducing, the 7 Evil Exes of Lily Evans:

1. Sybill and Lily have a primary school playground wedding when they’re about 8 years old and Sybill doesn’t stop thinking about her for the next 14 ish years.

2. Marlene and Lily get dared to kiss in high school (13/14) and Marlene falls head over heels in love (so real of her). She meets Dorcas Meadowes and realises she might be head over heels in love with her as well and that’s where it gets complicated.

3. James is the odd one out (jumpscare he’s a man). Him and Lily date for maybe three months in year 9 (age 14/15) and where he’s making lists of baby names and picking out flower arrangements, Lily realises that she’s 100% most definitely into women.

4. Dorcas is where it gets serious for Lily, they’re 16-18 and picking unis and despite the fact they’re wildly, madly, soul crushingly in love, they both have dreams and they go their different ways.

5. Narcissa and Lily were incredibly dysfunctional and a bit insane together. Eventually Lily decided maybe it was a bit too insane for her (that’s saying something) and broke it off, which then made Narcissa decide to quite sensibly destroy the world.

6 + 7. Andromeda + Bellatrix were Lily’s very successful attempt at revenge. Maybe Narcissa was getting a little too stalkerish or something (I haven’t figured out the details yet) but Lily decides that she’d quite like to have the bragging rights to say she dated every Black sister.

(8. Narcissa again (just trust me on this) Lily’s revenge plan, whilst successful, was successful in a way she wasn’t expecting. Narcissa being the ultimate evil ex and the future organiser of the league, only sees Lily’s revenge as incredibly evil and falls in love with her villainous instincts even more.

If anyone finds this even mildly interesting I’ll talk about all the other characters because otherwise this will get far too long - I cannot stop talking about Wallace Wells as Regulus Black even if I tried lmao.

[sapphic-delight]

Welcome

Men and terfs FUCK OFF. If you voted for that fucking orange to be back in the White House you can fuck off too, block me while you’re at it.

Non-binary folk, trans women, cis women are welcome

About me:

I’m a lesbian (if it wasn’t evidently clear)

She/they, 20, switch, fem tomboy

I repost whatever I feel like. That could be nsfw, a meme, or just cool art. (It’s probably mostly gonna just be me being horny on main though)

I adore anything horror. Art, stories, movies, music, video games you name it.

I play video games of all shapes and sizes. Horror, fps, adventure, rpg, etc. Recently I’ve been enjoying Valorant, Stardew Valley, and replaying the Life is Strange games.

Asks are open to all, don’t be afraid to send one, I don’t bite (unless you want me to<3)

Dms are open but specifically no nsfw stuff. I wanna talk about video games, movies, media etc. if we get comfortable enough then I’d be happy to oblige spicy material but not from the jump. I may repost and post about horny things but I am still a human being.

Ask game in case it gets lost in my posts:

Questions that have been asked already: 💙🤡🎞️🐢🏥🥵💜👷🛣️

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

My name is Jaimee Michell. I am a lesbian woman and the founder and president of Gays Against Groomers. We are a nonprofit organization of gay people who seek to end the sexualization, indoctrination, sterilization and mutilation of children happening under the guise of “LGBTQIA+".

Gay people are not a monolith. I am here to tell you that not all of us are on board with this new modern rainbow movement we are seeing now. In fact, it is the majority of us who are not. That is why I started this organization. I could no longer sit by and watch this toxic ideology be foisted upon children in our name — in my name… I knew I wasn’t alone.

There was just no united front to voice our public dissent to what is being done. So I decided to create one. And now in just a little over a year, we have 17 chapters across the United States, over 100 members, and more than 700,000 followers on social media.

We have also been banned from 11 platforms in that short time, most notably being PayPal and Venmo. They’re clearly terrified of us speaking out from inside the community, and to be completely honest, they should be. They don’t know how to handle us, because they can’t dismiss us as homophobic, transphobic bigots like they do all of you, although they certainly try.

Protecting and safeguarding youth should not be controversial. It should be something everyone can agree on, but clearly that isn’t the case anymore.

The truth is, we never consented to pornographic filth being given to children in schools. We never consented to woke doctors sterilizing and mutilating children in our name. We never consented to radical trans activists taking over and speaking on our behalf.

These people, as well as every major institution in this country are actively manipulating the public and trying to use the rights that we fought for as an excuse for their grotesque behavior and the lies that they tell. Yet these are the same people who preach about how they promote love and acceptance. We beg to differ.

So called “gender affirming care” on minors has been banned in countries across western Europe and has been appropriately labeled the biggest medical scandal since the lobotomy craze. Doctors and scientists in these countries have recognized that gender ideology and the medical practices that go with it are catastrophic for developing children. It is also deeply homophobic at its core.

Without medical intervention, more than half of the children who express feelings of gender discomfort would otherwise grow up to simply be gay adults, according to many scientific studies. There is no wrong way to be a boy or a girl, and telling them otherwise is evil. It’s abundantly clear and cannot be denied that medically transitioning children is the new conversion therapy, only 1000x worse.

These children are being treated like lab rats. And we at Gays Against Groomers have helped pass over a dozen laws and policies across the nation to ban this barbaric practice. We plan on making child sexual mutilation illegal in all 50 states, whether these monsters like it or not.

This ideology is toxic, hateful, violates boundaries, and LIES. It lies to parents, to children, to us… to everyone.

It takes advantage of the most impressionable and vulnerable. Children cannot consent to these interventions. No child can make permanent decisions about ANYTHING, let alone becoming sterile and chopping off body parts. And NO CHILD is born in the wrong body.

Not only is this agenda hurting children, but us as well. The radicals who have hijacked our community are setting us back decades with their assault on children. The acceptance we as gays and lesbians fought to achieve in this country is now being erased seemingly overnight, and it’s devastating for us to watch happen.

We are deeply grateful for Moms For Liberty who are willing to listen and work together. We sincerely believe that the most effective way to end the war on children is by uniting together. Despite our differences, we all share the common goal of saving these kids.

No matter how many times they try to censor us, the truth WILL prevail. They can try to shut us up, but we will never keep quiet. We will not make peace with an ideology that seeks to sexualize, indoctrinate and amputate the healthy body parts of children. We will not let them continue this abuse in our name.

We have a mission and we're not going anywhere. We hit the ground running in our first year. And together, we will restore common sense and reality, and eradicate the social contagion that is poisoning the minds of our youth.

If you would like to learn more about our movement or make donation to help us end the war on children, please visit gaysagainstgroomers.com to learn more.

Thank you.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

“suddenly became an enemy to tarot”

Their whole message left out so much information and context. I mean, it’s obvious why but it’s so ridiculous. First of all, back when this blog was first started people were venting about the extremely problematic things gftwd was doing and you gave them the space to do so. Because she was behaving very badly. Then she began to harass and threaten you for months. The criticism against her was valid, she was not innocent and “bullied” off of tumblr. Now with the tarot stuff. When the original tarot reader was around (evanpeterstarotreadings) you and here got along well and she often contributed here, and you still have no problem with her. She did not feed into the crazies and she would absolutely not be posting multiple readings about Natalie and Evan every day. I think the fact that she does not contribute to the new blogs says a lot. You have explained clearly so many times why you have a problem with these new blogs. It was not a “sudden” turn for no reason. And it’s funny how they won’t acknowledge that mycovenofchaos was harassing you about your posting of Natalie and Evan to the point where you had to block her. The things people have been bringing up about the tarot stuff in the past few weeks were legitimate concerns and criticisms, it wasn’t senseless hate towards them. I also saw one of the tarot readers say that she thinks you’re in the midst of a mental breakdown because of your pinned post about Natalie and the tarot blogs. It’s so rude. The whole situation with the tarot blogs is just crazy and it’s gross that they’re trying to make you out to be unreasonable and unstable.

wow, i just want to say that i genuinely appreciate, respect and.. i am even a little taken aback? that other people have closely watched and understood the timeline of this insanity lmao but you're correct, and thank you for saying this. to reiterate the facts surrounding this person's ultra unserious bone to pick:

1 - everyone and their lesbian lover knows gftwd bullied and harassed a whole load of people before she even knew of my existence and got around to me. i don't care if she didn't like me posting messages from people who were detailing the ways she terrorized them - you can shit talk me all day on YOUR blog but that doesn't justify you doxxing me, blowing up my ask box with threatening messages, spreading around my personal social media accounts, etc.

2. i always, always made my opinion clear on tarot as a concept. i do not believe in these things and i look upon those who portray non-scientific, verifiable things as facts as problematic - however, when done responsibly, for fun, and by people with no ill-intent, i have zero problem with it. and.. i had zero problem with the OG tarot reader, we were friends, she regularly contributed to my blog.. and i never would've associated her with these nefarious nutjobs.

3. mycovenofchaos spent days following and unfollowing my blog, i can only guess in an attempt to garner attention and bring my eyes to the subliminal posts she was making about me. i didn't even see these things until followers started asking me about it as it became more obvious who she was speaking about. then, she started sending me harassing anonymous messages trying to challenge me, my viewpoint about evan/natalie, and generally just being a pest. i did not post these asks but i do have screenshots because i legitimately screenshot every single ask that i do not post for various reasons. finally, i located and blocked her I.P address and saw those messages go poof. well, moments after that.. she made her ''goodbye'' post. literally, right after. so basically, she got caught being crazy, harassing me for no reason, and now wants to play the victim. and if you want screenshots, i got those too. and the entirety of our bizarre, private direct messages that followed. just in case anybody is thinking of being dishonest on this matter.

4. i do not have a ''mental breakdown'' to speak of; i have ethics and morals that guide whether or not i'm going to sit here and entertain people who are acting maliciously and post their messages on my blog that denigrate a woman's character unfairly. that's what that is about. after all, shamrock, theloverscardtarot, mycovenofchaos/itsthequeenofswords are my faithful followers and have been for ages, so they obviously enjoy my content and who i am outside of disavowing their poor behavior. they are fans, supporters, and begrudging members of tweam.

if you disagree or want to frame that as some sort of mental deficiency, that is not my burden to bear and such gaslighting techniques do not work on me. i have obsessed minions of my own barking at my social media door across multiple continents, so you're going to have to get in line. TGIF dolls!

[pagenby]

Intro Post i guess??

had this blog for how long and just now having an intro post??? forgetting i had this blog for a year?? more likely than you think.

🪽 I’ve got a few names, honestly call me whatever. I go by Robin, Wren, Nettle/Nettie, you can call me worm if you want lmao i don’t care. I will also respond to Bastard due to many joking usages haha.

🪽 I’m in my mid-20’s (gods, realizing i probably can’t say early 20s anymore is giving me an existential crisis), and am very queer. nb/genderfluid clusterfuck, lesbian, and ace.

🪽 My pronouns are primarily They/them, but you are welcome to use he/him, xe/xir, or i am dipping my toes into how it/its feels so feel free with that too unless this bit disappears from this post.

🪽 I’ve been polytheist for going on four/five years now, but I still definitely consider myself a baby. I suck at tarot lol. I worship Artemis and Apollo closely, but regularly include others in my practice and my life (most often Hestia, Hermes, Aphrodite, Persephone, and Zeus&Hera. Would love to include Dionysus more but I haven’t interacted much with him). I have a recent connection with Loki, as well, and I also worship Oghma although don’t expect me to talk much about that as it’s very personal to me.

🪽 I believe some deities are part of my soul family, although i likely won’t say who specifically unless i get to know you, as again that’s pretty personal.

🪽 a few little bits about me: I’m a writer, a singer, and I play the piano (any wonder I love Apollo, lol). all music genres are great and i’ll always love music recommendations. I have a bow, but nowhere to really practice with it so I cannot actually do archery yet. I crochet! And I love to bake, and do so often for Hestia. send me good recipes and i’ll love you forever.

🪽 I veil in my practice, to honor Hestia and to keep myself spiritually clean throughout the day. I likely won’t post pictures, and don’t know how much insight i can actually give, but i’m happy to talk about it if you’re curious.

🪽 Feel free to reach out, especially if you’re also around my age, I’d love some pagan friends as currently I have none! I am very awkward around new people, so if I am please know it’s me and not you lol. in case this post wasn’t clear enough, i use many words when little words would suffice just fine.

🪽no terfs. i am very trans. i also love and support trans women, you lovely ladies are so welcome here. also no aspec discourse will be tolerated here, im here and ace and queer and that’s the end of it. Thanks.

not sure what/how often i’ll post here considering i literally never post Anything on my main blog, but we’ll see!! I’d love to talk more about my worship and practice, and maybe that’ll help me get more regular about it lol.

[notdrifting]

some quick notes on my portrayal of lady d and shipping under the cut - ah, also ? please be mindful and respectful that me sharing my own hcs and portrayal do not necessarily mean that i claim that other hcs and portrayals of other muns are wrong. everybody is entitled to their own hcs and understandings of characters, there’s literally no right or wrong there.

as i have mentioned before  i do not accept nor ship maidens/lady d, she wouldn’t fuck nor fall in love with her own food - with that being said, shipping with her is complicated.  and i feel compelled to express my firm stance against endorsing or engaging in any romantic plots or shipping involving lady d and the maidens under her employ. i see such relations as deeply problematic due to not only the inherent power imbalance in their dynamics and the exploitative nature of their relationship. as much as a queer icon as she is to us all, it is crucial to remember that alcina is and will always be ( except perhaps in aus, of course ) a cruel vampire who feasts on human flesh and effectively keeps these girls as pretty much prisoners/slaves, considering them far beneath her and her daughters in the food chain, depriving them of their autonomy and personhood. with that in mind, romanticising such a relationship could not only perpetuate harmful tropes, but also normalize abuse ( which is a big no no as you can see in my rules ), and i don’t want any of that here. alcina's callous disregard for the well-being of the maidens is an essential aspect of her character, and any attempt to force her into a romantic relationship with them would pretty much undermine her consistency as a character and the gravity of her actions. furthermore, this sort of relationship portrayal may lead to a faux idea that abusive dynamics can be redeemed through love, a notion that can be harmful and manipulative. i am always eager to explore alternative storylines that empower the maidens though, allowing them to break free from their oppressive situations, form supportive bonds, and assert their agency. so yes, i am steering clear of romanticizing these harmful relationships, however in case anyone wants to explore other dynamics i’m 100% here for it. lady d probably would never fall in love or be attracted to a human, that is a regular human, as she finds weakness ( and she deems all humans weak ) disgusting. to get her attention they need to be powerful but not enough to pose as a threat to her or her daughters.

i write her a sapphic demisexual demiromantic as, to me personally, it makes sense considering what i saw of her and the other hcs i have for her - although most hc ( and i say hc because it wasn’t formally confirmed nor denied by capcom itself and despite one of the writers giving his opinion on it in a rather jkr w/ albus fashion, as it is re8 is a collaborative work and in the end the decision to make something canon or not is capcom’s ) her as a lesbian and i have no issue with that,  as a fellow queer i do find the entire man-hating-lesbian trope to be rather harmful. my main issue with this trope is that it follows patriarchal, hetero-normative ideas that often refuse to acknowledge the idea that a relationship between two women can exist on its own without having anything to do with men  ( as most hcs that i have seen are deeply linked to her misandrist personality and the mindset that just because she hates men she is automatically a lesbian ), the trope is flawed, simple minded and rather disrespectful to the sapphic community ( the trope suggests same-sex relationships are rooted solely in disdain for men, trivializing and undermining genuine emotions and love within them ). now, does that mean you cant hc her as lesbian? of course you can! her being lesbian or not is not the issue, hcing her as a lesbian should have nothing to do with this bad trope and we are all free to hc whatever we want that makes sense and relates to us individually, but let us all be mindful of the sexist tropes the fandomTM and the media loves to apply to female characters. as it is, since no official announcement has been made by capcom regarding the character so far, i will write her within the aro/ace spectrum for my own comfort, which i will  explain best in the next section

although she is within the aro/ace spectrum i don’t necessarily belive her to be sex repulsed per se,  though it is worth noting she is nowhere near inclined on having flings or one night stands at all -  ever since day one that she called the attention of the re fandom and from all sort of people, sadly as it usually goes with attractive female characters in media, she was painfully fetishised to no end. that makes me severly uncomfortable and has driven me off from writing her in the past. my portrayal will not focus on her sex appeal to the point of objectifying her, if at all. i want to go beyond that and bring out  depth and authenticity, exploring more than just her appearance. lady d is a lot more than just “tall vampire mommy makes me go brrrr”  she's complex and fascinating, that's why i think it'd be awesome to showcase her forming deep emotional bonds before experiencing sexual or romantic attraction ( if any ). this adds a whole new layer to her identity, and while i'm totally down for some fun shipping, it will be handled it with care. i’m all about respect and creating inclusive fan content that celebrates her character and explores different aspects of her life and relationships.  so while her natural despite for men in general still remains and her usual cruelty to those women who serve her is also present, she'll be free to explore relationships within her demi orientation in case plotting happens. of course some lighthearted flirting might appear every once in a while, but they will be nothing but crack. for actual shipping severe plotting is necessary.

[aplaceforthesoul]

Hello :)

When I was 19 I came out to my parents as bi. Four years later I realised I'm probably a lesbian but I don't care too much about the semantics for my parents: they already know I date women so I don't really care. What does bother me is that in these four years they have very much tried to avoid my attraction to women. They only try to set me up with guys and when I mention dates with women they just...ignore it.

I know it's useless but I feel so sad about letting them down (bullshit, I know). They tolerate my attraction to women but everything they do makes it so obvious they want me to get a boyfriend. I just want them to accept me. They hated my first girlfriend to the point of my mom crying over it asking what she did wrong as a parent.

They tolerate it but wish I were straight and I am just so tired of it, I don't know what to do about it.

Thanks I'm advance

Unfortunately for a lot of parents, accepting that their child is anything other than straight is very difficult. I really wish this wasn’t the case, truly. As it is awful for so many young people who come out to their families.

They might never truly come to terms with your attraction to women. It might forever be something that they struggle with - and that sucks. But all you can do is live your truth and ensure your parents know and respect your boundaries.

The sooner you accept who you are, the stronger you will be at dealing with anyone else’s bullshit inability to do the same. Accepting yourself can be such a powerful thing, I promise.

You don’t have to do anything but live your life and invite your parents to either be a part of it or live on the sidelines. This is easier if you no longer live in their household - (and obviously, I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone whose life would be in danger if they came out).

If it were me, I’d sit my parents down and be clear that this is who I am, I am attracted to who I am attracted to, I wanna date who I want to date - and that if they refuse to accept things as they are, they will find themselves with less of a relationship with me than they already have.

You say they ‘tolerate’ it but it doesn’t seem like you truly tolerate yourself? And that’s something you need to work on. The more confident you feel in it, the less you will seek their approval. I know that is hard but as you get older, I promise these things do get easier. Remember that they have the option to respect you and be a part of your life and you are the one that holds the power in that respect.

Best of luck to you friend.

- Bonnie

[ao3feed-piltovers-finest]

blown glass//incalmo

by falcon_writes

There is no world in which she is wanted… and yet.

Words: 104, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F

Characters: Caitlyn (League of Legends), Vi (League of Legends)

Relationships: Caitlyn/Vi (League of Legends)

Additional Tags: THAT SCENE, in case that wasn’t clear, im talking about the Sesbian Lex, in case THAT wasn’t clear:, Lesbian Sex, Poetry, Give it a shot even if you hate poetry, Season/Series 02, Glassblowing, not in the blowjob sense, although i guess it technically is, Welp unfortunately that was unintentional, im not smart enough to do that on purpose, but go ahead and think i am, i probably did it subconsciously

Read on A03. from AO3 works tagged ‘Caitlyn/Vi (League of Legends)’

[verdantlady]

Reverse Romance Tropes: Too much communication

Another prompt! This was for my writing club and I was completely stumped on what to write about so I decided on a scene from a novel that is more in my head than on paper. I lovingly call it the Lesbian Magical Detective Book :)

Also, I have a hate/love relationship with miscommunication trope so this was therapeutic.

Forgive any mistakes, I hate editing

~~~~~~

Alaris was enjoying her simple lunch from the cafe.  It was beans, rice, and fish like usual, which was a comforting return to routine after days of dealing with her new ice princess of a partner.  According to lovely Mor, the paperwork had been filed wrong… and that was only the first thing in a long list of complaints.

Mor slammed down her tray on the table. “This seat taken?”

Ugh.  What Alaris wanted to say was yes, but even she knew she had run out of friends in the Volgen.  There was about a ten foot radius around her in the seating area.  She needed to double check her deodorant was working, because she was desperate at this point. That’s what happens when you have a short fuse.

“Nope. Not taken.”  Alaris muttered around a mouth full of beans. 

The corners of Mor’s lips turned down as she observed the sad picture Alaris made.

“Right well. Then you won't mind if I sit here?” She said, clearly already settling in.

Alaris rolled her eyes.  You already are, she thought and then opened her mouth to say as much.  “I am having a bad day so I would rather you were anyone else.” The words fell out of her mouth before she could stop them. Had she meant to say that?  Definitely not. Maybe she needed to go home early today. Not like she was going to make progress on the case.

Mor huffed, already starting in on her stew, while simultaneously pulling out the incident report from the potion smuggling ring from their morning bust.  Of course she was going to use her lunch to rewrite it.  “I’m sure.  It doesn’t seem like anyone is lining up to sit here so guess we’re both out of luck.” 

Alaris grunted around a mouthful of fish. Mor rolled her eyes.

“While we're both here, can you rewrite your portion of the arrest protocol?  It’s sloppy.”

“It’s lunch and I wish you would stop talking.” Alaris blinked and frowned down at her food.  That had just slipped right out.

Mor sighed deeply, “Alright then.” And pulled the report closer to herself. “Then you can finish it after lunch.”

“Can’t. Half day.” She’s definitely leaving early now.

“What could you possibly be doing for the rest of the day?”

Quick think of something. “I’ve got an appointment with the apothecary for more dreamless sleep because I’ve run out of my monthly prescription.” A long pause in which Mor’s white eyebrows climbed her forehead. “Shit.” She had not meant to say that. And like vomit the words continued to pour out.  “And after that I’ll probably eat stew at the sad tavern below my apartment.” Oh God. “And later smoke a cigarette with my cat Ancient Demonic Script.” NO “And finally have an angry wank where I picture you doing paperwork in your underthings and yelling at me.” 

Alaris slapped a hand over her mouth. And with her other hand pinched her thigh just in case this was a wildly realistic nightmare.  Please let it be a nightmare. It wouldn’t be the first time. “Fuck. I didn’t mean to say any of that.” She rushed out.

Mor’s face was unusually red, as she cleared her throat. “I think you’ve been drugged.”

Alaris nodded, her face equally aflame. “I think that perfume I accidentally sprayed on myself at the potions shop might have been more than awful smelling.”

“Yes, clearly it wasn’t created for its smell.  Let's get you to the on staff medic, shall we?”

“You’re so hot when you tell me what to do.” Alaris groaned and collapsed forward onto the table. “Somebody fucking gag me before I say anything else.”

Mor laughed.  For the first time all day it wasn’t derisive, but it was still at Alaris’ expense. “I would, but clearly you’d like it too much.”  She tugged on Alaris’ arm. “Come on, before we discover another side effect, let's get you fixed up.”

[thewhumpcaretaker]

If a straight woman writes explicit M/F instead of just M/M does that mean she’s really a lesbian or bisexual? Or can you still be straight if you are writing from the POV of the female character, but the male character is the one you really lust after? In other words is there a difference between identifying with character A’s perspective as they lust for and enjoy character B, even if character B is clearly doing the same to them, and lusting for character A? I feel like there is but am I fooling myself here? Thanks

I think this assumes that the sexuality of the characters necessarily reflects the sexuality of the person writing, when in reality they don’t necessarily have anything to do with each other at all. Like, in a non-fanfic book that just happens to contain sex and romance, an author might write a whole cast of characters with different sexualities and that doesn’t mean they have any of those sexualities. Or an asexual (but not sex repulsed) person might write smut because sex is just an interesting scenario.

But let’s suppose the person in question is writing sex specifically to self-insert into the scenario because they find it hot:

Sexuality is oftentimes about merging with another person. You identify with them. Their pleasure becomes your pleasure. It’s hotter if they like it, it’s hot when they moan, it’s hot to think about the sensations they’re experiencing, etc. Sex is empathetic for a lot of people. I’d argue that it’s actually quite straight (or at least quite male-attracted) for a woman to enjoy imagining a man getting pleasure from having sex with a woman. If straight women were only attracted to the idea of men having sex with each other…straight procreation wouldn’t work so well, now would it? So no…enjoying straight sex doesn’t necessarily indicate lesbian/bi.

But finally I do want to say it’s perfectly okay and probably something to explore if the idea of sex with a woman is specifically the part that’s hot! It’s okay and very cool to be lesbian or bi in case that wasn’t clear!

[pinewoodpipit]

Mozzfic Fic Meta

Finally the project I’ve been working on for MONTHS is done! I’m so, so fond of this fic. I worked hard on it and I really love how it came out. I’ve got quite a bit to say about this fic, so I’ll break it into sections!

-

General Thoughts

First, some general thoughts which were going to go into my end notes but they were getting much too long, so they’re going in here.

I was originally going to call this fic "Brie Mine" as a cheese pun, but I eventually decided I wanted to take it more seriously.

I had this idea while tipsy and having some mozzarella sticks while on call with my partner. My thought process was somewhere caught between “I love my partner / I love mozzarella sticks / I love KaiKali” and somehow my wires got crossed. Not complaining, I love this silly little fic and its silly little origins. I will never cringe for loving someone, even when I’m being an embarrassing slightly drunk person about it.

The quotes before each "chapter" are translations from Sappho. Because of that, I want to note that while most people associate Sappho with lesbianism, in my headcanon these characters are bi and I am not writing them as lesbians. While lesbians are valid whether they've dated men in the past or not, I still see these guys as being attracted to all genders in the present. This is the case for all of my headcanons regarding the K/D/A group; they're all bi in my heacanons, and I usually headcanon them all in a very happy, loving polycule (just not in this particular fic, as this isn't specifically the K/D/A-verse and is only inspired by it). This headcanon of mine is kind of referenced by Ahri and Evelynn's open relationship and Kai'sa having slept with them (platonically) in the past, but it's not 100% canon to this fic. Maybe in the future they all take that step, who knows? Not particularly important information here, I just wanted to clear this up in case anyone was wondering.

One more lighter note is that I chose Nashramae as a place for them to live because I felt Kai'sa wouldn't be so willing to just leave Shurima after being torn away from it so long, and Ezreal has been noted to have visited here, giving them a chance to meet. I felt Akali might be more likely to leave Ionia with her family given how wartorn Ionia is from its fight with Noxus, although I was torn since it wasn't particularly likely for her to leave, either; just slightly more likely than how I felt about Kai'sa leaving Shurima. It was a hard choice and there wasn't particularly a city which felt right, but Ezreal's visit was the excuse I needed to pick this one as a final city. It's a modern day AU, though, so there are buses, public transport, and other general modern conveniences alongside the lovely silk markets and trading harbour. It being in Shurima also added more reason for Kai'sa to underestimate how badly it was going to rain in that first section, lmao.

One last thing; this fic took me many months to write, and it ended up a lot longer than I expected. I don’t know why it took me so long, really? I was very passionate about it that entire time (so it’s not like I lost interest), but there were a lot of things happening in my personal life and I guess I found it easier to grab onto smaller projects and finish them for the little happiness boosts I needed to get by. It’s here, though, finally as good as I wanted to make sure it could be, and I couldn’t be happier with it.

-

Comphet, relationship trauma, and internalised homophobia

On the topic of comphet, internalised homophobia was a large part of Kai’sa’s struggle in this fic. It’s something a lot of queer folks struggle with tremendously when they first figure themselves out, but it’s not something I see talked about very often. Kai’sa in this fic wasn’t homophobic by any means when she worked out her identity, she was a large ally, but it wasn’t something she ever thought would apply to her. She grew up in a very turbulent, rapidly changing environment, without much of any support system, and so she’s fragile about things which might hurt her.

If you go through enough school changes and meet just the wrong people, you can get trained into believing some awful things about yourself. Kai’sa was now faced with the realisation that people had ammo to throw at her now, and she also struggled with feeling predatory for liking women. It was something she had to unlearn, and she did so without a support system. Ezreal’s lack of communication was the nail in the coffin, and it meant she went through that unlearning process, and the process of coming to terms with herself and growing, alone. When she found Ahri and Evelynn, she was already significantly far along her healing journey.

Akali renewed that fear because she signified a step she hadn’t taken in actually dating a woman - she’d slept with Ahri and Evelynn by this point. It would mean making herself vulnerable to another potential catastrophic breakup which almost shattered her the first time. It was less about being gay at that point (although that was definitely part of it, as it was still new to her), and more about the fact that taking that step and entering a relationship with Akali meant she was throwing open the doors and letting Akali aim a crossbow directly at her heart. Kai’sa just had to trust that Akali knew to talk rather than shoot.

-

NSFW Thoughts and Headcanons

NSFW hcs for these guys… I have a few. I’ll list them out in bullet points here with a simple explanation.

In my headcanons, especially in relation to her regular/canon LoL story, Kai’sa does not enjoy penetration. In my view of her character, she has been through far too much over the course of her life and had enough outside forces have violating say over her body that I imagine anything like that would be a very uncomfortable concept for her. This is very much me projecting my own issues onto her and using the symbiotic as a metaphor for trauma, but it’s a headcanon I feel strongly about. It’s not a complete rule for her, as in my headcanon she’s sometimes okay being strapped by the occasional person and ofc she did sleep with Ezreal, but it’s not something she wants to have happen every time she sleeps with someone.

Akali’s a total switch. I like to imagine she’s capable of and happy with being both a top and a brat bottom. In this fic, given Kai’sa’s distaste for penetration, I had her take the brat bottom route - the “I’m going to be a little shit and annoy my loved ones until they fuck me about it” kind of bottom. She knows Kai’sa and she knows how to push her buttons, and she likes gently bullying her lovers until they kiss her just so she’ll shut up. For real, this is one of the best parts of being in a relationship. Annoying your partner (of course making sure that it’s teasing annoyance and not actual upset or discomfort) is great fun. As good at she is at bottoming, though, you KNOW this girl has incredible strap game. She probably gives incredible head, too. Nobody’s that confident and smug without being able to back it up.

In terms of the wider KDA polycule:

I like to imagine that Evelynn’s happy doing whatever. She enjoys being fucked, but she also likes to top and take people apart. It makes her feel powerful to see someone come undone under her hands. She knows what she’s doing and she just enjoys making her partners feel that good.

Ahri in my mind is a total bottom, by choice. She totally could top and I imagine with her charm she could give someone an incredible orgasm, but this girl can absolutely get away with lying back and taking it, so that’s what she does most of the time. I like to imagine that she’s also dating Yasuo while the rest of the polycule isn’t, and he’s equally as much of a simp for her as the rest of them. This isn’t to say she’s a selfish lover and she’ll gladly reciprocate - she’d never refuse a chance to fuck her partners into the mattress - but she very much enjoys having her lovers take good care of her and prefers that over topping.

-

Fanfic playlist:

I have a Spotify playlist for this fic, which normally I’d share, but I don’t think there’s a way to make the creator of a playlist anonymous, and I want to retain my privacy (if there is a way, I’d love to know!). Instead, I’ll just share the individual songs on it.

She - dodie

Everything Goes On - Porter Robinson, League of Legends

Stray Italian Greyhound - Vienna Teng

Would You Be So Kind - Jodie

ICARUS - STARSET (this one is less relevant to this fic but it has always reminded me of Kaikali for whatever reason)

The Messenger - Linkin Park

Ghost - Mystery Skulls

I Am Not A Robot - MARINA

U.N.I - Ed Sheeran

Wasteland, Baby! - Hozier (this one is where the official title of the fic came from, even if I mostly just call it “mozzfic”!)

Pluto - Sleeping At Last

Heather - Conan Grey

Raw - Sigrid

Turning Page - Sleeping At Last

Thus Always To Tyrants - The Oh Hellos

Born2Run - Penelope Scott

Tongues & Teeth - The Crane Wives

Home - Bruno Major

Curses - The Crane Wives

Forest Fires - Lauren Aquilina

Boats & Birds - Gregory and the Hawk

These songs all encompass the main emotions of this fic, at least to me, which are feelings of self doubt, pain over past losses and traumas leaving scars on your current psyche, feeling like you’re destined to end up alone and don’t deserve your loved ones, and on the other side, the utter softness and warmth of love. Finding someone and just instantly connecting with them after so long, after so many years of loneliness and being in pain, being left behind, you can finally take a breath and know that it’s them. After it all, after everything, it’s finally them. You try to resist it, feeling those past patterns touching on your fears and making you want to push them away to protect yourself, but in the end, you give in and open your heart to them, because they’re worth it. The songs word their themes much better than I could, but I found they all shared a strong identity with what I wanted from mozzfic.