#in all seriousness though that was one of the most incredible movies I’ve seen in a hot minute

[azuree1733]

Cillian Murphy is so fine I was getting lost in those eyes 🥵

[rewritingcanon]

i’ve seen relationship therapists and psychologists analyse hermione and ron’s relationship and conclude that they wouldn’t work out in the long run. they’ve argued for hermione to be with harry, krum, even DRACO (don’t understand how a counsellor can vow for canon dramione but alright) as an alternative partner for hermione since ron is “too insecure” to be with her and match her intelligent prowess or what have you.

i seriously don’t understand this sentiment. ron and hermione genuinely seem (almost) perfect to me, maybe not in the movies (a common denominator of people who don’t like romione is that they always cite evidence from the movies, since the films took a lot away from ron’s character and his growth), but definitely in the books.

looking at ron’s insecurities, a lot of people dredge his inferiority complex up to toxic masculinity primarily, when it was more explored how it was an effect of his home life (not gonna argue toxic masculinity wasn’t a factor, they’re teenagers in the 90s written by a pretty misogynistic woman so…). he was the youngest son out of how many children? all of his older brothers were brilliant in some way. bill was an extremely gifted spellcaster, charlie was gifted with magical beasts, percy’s academic score was unmatched, and fred and george (despite their trouble) were entrepreneurial inventor-geniuses. ron, on the other hand, was quite literally born a disappointment to his mother, who conceived him specifically because she wanted a daughter, whilst ginny was born her favourite (though, even then, ginny was gifted at quidditch). ron was mediocre in every sense of the word, and his two best friends were harry (one of the most famous wizards) and hermione (the smartest witch of her age yada yada). and i’ve seen people argue that harry was more welcomed by molly into the weasley household than ron ever was. this isn’t even mentioning the amount of bullshit he copped for being poor (people always downplay the blow to confidence being in poverty can have on a person who is constantly surrounded by people who not only have more, but look down on him for simply being unlucky as to not have what they do).

so yeah, ron was an envious kid, but he was that way not because he was an evil patriarchal conception but because he was lowkey neglected. and even then he was overall an extremely devoted and loyal friend to both harry and hermione, because he did genuinely love them.

there were many moments of ron standing up for hermione that was cut from the films, not as a guy who was romantically interested in her, but as a friend. ron arguing with snape for making hermione cry is one of my fav scenes in the books ru kidding me, and in the movies he AGREED with snape RU KIDDING ME. not to mention how ron was a sobbing violent mess when hermione was getting tortured in the last book, whereas he wasn’t nearly as bothered in the films. and the films cut out harry being a dick to ron about his familial concerns (in dh), so when ron left it seemed like a random dickish move over his jealousy towards harry and hermione’s relationship.

there’s also a million moments where they minimised ron’s usefulness in the books for comedic purposes (forbidden forest with aragog, troll scene, devils snare scene) so ron seems dumber than he is. like, he’s actually smart and a really good spellcaster…. in the books.

so simply by stating this most of the arguments against romione become void. “he’s too stupid/weak for her” simply not true. “he’s a terrible friend who doesn’t stand up for her” also not true. “he’s too insecure to have made a move on her,” yes, but given the context i don’t think people would freak on about ron’s upbringing, i think many would be more understanding, especially considering his growth. even if he wasn’t insecure, hermione is beyond incredible and is bound to make anyone nervous when pursuing her (not an excuse for ron to act like a dick, but it does explain a lot where the movies don’t). “they argue too much” they bump heads, none of the arguments they have are actually super damning, with the exception of ron leaving in deathly hallows.

maybe i’ve covered everything (excluding the abhorrent amount of classism that clouds people’s judgments around how they view ron when harping about how hermione deserves better? hopefully).

now, i know people won’t like me mentioning the cursed child, but i’m going to considering we actually get an insight of their life as a longterm married couple there. a lot of ron stans hated how ron was the only character that wasn’t doing something incredible. harry was head of the aurors, ginny was a famous quidditch player retired to a famous journalist, neville was a hogwarts professor, hermione was quite literally minister on magic. and ron…. ran the joke shop with george.

and i think this was almost the perfect route to go down for ron. because he was average, and was perfectly fine with just being average. hello?? that speaks leagues of growth for his character. he’s supportive of hermione’s work, he grounds her when she gets too caught up in being the literal president of wizarding society, and he still viciously defends her, minister or not. in fact, he’s proud to simply be known as hermione’s husband because he doesn’t feel the need to prove to anyone else his worth. the people he loves most know his worth, hermione never downplays or underestimates him, they are complete equals in the relationship in every single way that matters. they kept ron’s best qualities whilst making him seem more of a healed person. they work so well as a married couple without it seeming like mischaracterisation (not to mention the cursed child literally shows how those two are in love in every reality, so there quite literally can’t be a better partner for hermione or ron according to canon).

so i really don’t understand how professional relationship counsellors can go online and denounce it. probs because they only watched the movies, but it’s 2023 and ron stans should not STILL be fighting for their lives trying to defend him from people who simply don’t consume media with as much depth (which is fine, but one should clarify if they’re talking about the movies because i’ve seen people state they’re talking about the hp BOOKS when it’s simply just…. the films). anyways. romione on top, thanks to coming to my ted talk.

[enemiestolovershoe]

Unspoken Feelings

Matt Sturniolo x bsf!reader

Summary: Y/N and Matt’s weekly movie night takes an unexpected turn when his brothers, Nick and Chris, join in. What starts as a chill evening with *The Shining* and some weed quickly turns intense as Matt’s jealousy flares up. A heated argument leads to an even hotter confession, changing their friendship forever. What happens when unspoken feelings finally come to light?

Word Count: 1500

Warnings: Drug use (weed), friends to lovers, argument, talk of horror movie, not proofread, use of y/n

A/n: Likes and rebloggs majorly appreciated :) 🫶🏻

Friday nights had always been sacred for you and Matt Sturniolo. For years, you’d curled up on his couch, surrounded by blankets and snacks, ready to dive into whatever movie you had chosen for that week. But tonight was a little different. For the first time, Matt’s brothers, Nick and Chris, were joining the party. The usual duo was now a quartet, and you couldn’t help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness at the shift in your routine.

You arrived at the Sturniolo house right on time, a bag of popcorn in one hand and a pack of Matt’s favorite gummy worms in the other. Matt was waiting for you at the door, as usual, his dark hair slightly tousled and a grin already forming on his lips.

“Look who’s finally here,” Matt teased, stepping aside to let you in. “And armed with the essentials, I see.”

“I figured we’d need the reinforcements,” you joked back, holding up the snacks. “Especially since your brothers are crashing our movie night.”

“Yeah, well, they insisted,” Matt said with a mock sigh, though you could tell he didn’t really mind. “But I made sure we’re still watching something good.”

“What did you pick?” you asked as you followed him into the living room.

Nick and Chris were already sprawled out on the couch, looking entirely too comfortable. Chris perked up when he saw you.

“Y/N, finally! Now we can start this thing,” Chris said, grinning.

“Hey, Y/N!” Nick added with a wave, glancing at the stack of DVDs and Blu-rays on the coffee table. “Matt wouldn’t tell us what movie we’re watching. Says it’s a surprise.”

You raised an eyebrow at Matt. “You’ve been holding out on them?”

Matt just smirked and picked up one of the cases, holding it up for everyone to see. “I thought we could go for a classic tonight. *The Shining*.”

Chris let out a low whistle. “Nice choice. Creepy, but nice.”

Nick, who was usually a fan of horror, nodded approvingly. “I’m down. It’s been a while since I’ve seen it.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the selection. “It’s perfect. But only if we can all agree that I get first dibs on the blanket fort.”

Matt rolled his eyes playfully. “Of course. Anything for the queen of movie night.”

With the movie chosen, you all settled in, building the most elaborate blanket fort the living room had ever seen. You ended up sitting between Matt and Chris, the soft glow of the TV casting flickering shadows across everyone’s faces as the eerie opening music of *The Shining* began to play.

As the movie unfolded, you couldn’t help but feel a strange tension in the air. Matt was quieter than usual, his focus seemingly split between the screen and something else. Every so often, you caught him glancing your way, but whenever you turned to look at him, he’d quickly look back at the TV.

It wasn’t until the movie hit a particularly tense scene that Chris spoke up, breaking the silence.

“Man, I forgot how creepy this movie is,” Chris said, leaning back into the cushions. “But I gotta say, Jack Nicholson is amazing in this.”

“Yeah, he’s incredible,” you agreed, still feeling the lingering suspense of the scene. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie where someone can look that terrifying just by smiling.”

Matt, who had been quiet for most of the movie, finally chimed in. “That’s what makes it so good. The psychological horror gets under your skin because it feels so real.”

“Real, and seriously messed up,” Nick added, his eyes glued to the screen. “Like, who even comes up with this stuff?”

“You’d be surprised,” you said with a laugh. “There’s a reason it’s a classic though.”

Matt nodded, his gaze softening as he looked at you. “Yeah, definitely a good pick for tonight.”

As the movie progressed, the tension that had been building between you and Matt seemed to ease, replaced by the comfort of familiarity. But then, as the credits finally rolled and the room fell into a quiet lull, Chris shifted beside you, pulling something out of his hoodie pocket.

“Alright, movie’s over, but the night’s just getting started,” Chris said with a mischievous grin, holding up a small, neatly rolled joint. “Who’s up for spicing things up a bit?”

You glanced at Matt, who gave you that familiar shrug, the one that said, “Why not?” Nick quickly agreed, and before you knew it, the joint was being passed around.

The weed worked its way through your system, making everything feel softer, more vivid, and somehow more real. Conversations drifted from the movie to random topics, with Chris taking the lead, his lively energy filling the room.

“So, Y/N,” Chris began, his tone more serious than before, “What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t yet?”

You thought for a moment, the warm haze of the weed making you more candid than usual. “I’ve always wanted to travel the world. But I guess I’ve been waiting for the right moment… and the right company.”

Chris leaned in, his expression thoughtful. “That sounds amazing. Maybe we could—”

Before he could finish, Matt cut him off, his voice unexpectedly sharp. “Chris, don’t you think Y/N deserves more than just talking about dreams? Maybe she should be with someone who actually knows her.”

The room went quiet, the atmosphere suddenly tense. You turned to Matt, surprised by the edge in his voice.

“What’s your problem, Matt?” you asked, frowning.

Matt met your gaze, his eyes intense. “My problem? I’m just tired of watching you waste time on things that aren’t going to happen.”

Your frustration flared up. “And who are you to decide that?”

“Someone who cares about you,” Matt shot back, his voice low and serious.

You stood up, the tension between you and Matt almost tangible. “You’re acting like a jealous jerk, Matt.”

“Maybe I am,” Matt said, standing up as well, his voice dropping to a whisper, “But that’s because—”

Before he could finish, he suddenly stepped forward and kissed you, his lips capturing yours in a way that was both unexpected and electric. For a moment, you froze, but then you found yourself kissing him back, the unspoken feelings between you igniting like a spark in dry tinder.

You vaguely heard Chris mutter something to Nick, and then they quietly excused themselves from the room, leaving you and Matt alone.

When you finally pulled back, both of you were breathing heavily, your foreheads pressed together as you tried to process what just happened.

“Matt…” you started, your voice shaky, but he silenced you with another, softer kiss.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered against your lips, “I just… I couldn’t watch you with someone else. It was driving me crazy.”

You looked into his eyes, your heart pounding. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Matt shook his head, his expression vulnerable. “Because I didn’t want to ruin what we have. But I can’t pretend anymore, Y/N. I’m in love with you.”

The confession hung in the air, and for a moment, all you could do was stare at him, stunned. But then, a slow smile spread across your face, and you leaned in to kiss him again, your heart swelling with a mix of relief and joy.

“Maybe we should’ve spiced things up a long time ago,” you murmured against his lips, your arms wrapping around his neck.

Matt chuckled softly, pulling you closer. “Yeah… maybe we should have.”

As the two of you stood there, wrapped up in each other, you realized that everything had changed, but in the best possible way. The movie, the weed, even Chris and Nick—they all faded into the background, leaving just the two of you and the feelings that had finally been brought to the surface.

And as for Matt, well, your weekly movie nights had just taken on a whole new meaning.

[gabbytheplatypus]

Lucky One

Jake Seresin sighed, rubbing his temples as he glanced at the clock. "I know this isn't the most thrilling topic right now, but could you all try to focus for the last fifteen minutes? I promise next week we’ll dive into the exciting bits of World War I." Stella, a friendly and hard-working student in the front row, shot a stern look at her chatty classmates, and the room fell into an awkward silence. A few students offered Jake apologetic smiles. He understood. It was Friday, the final period of the day, and everyone was itching to go home. Honestly, he was just as eager to head home, grab some snacks, and lose himself in an action movie.

Jake usually loved teaching, especially when his students asked clever questions or showed genuine curiosity. He thrived on finding creative ways to make history come alive for them. He once divided his students into two groups and each group had to think of a strategy on how they could defeat the other group if they were in command of their own military. It wasn’t exactly on the syllabus, but the result? His students were hooked, and their projects on World War I society had blown him away. He was incredibly proud of them, but unfortunately he no longer taught that specific class. He’d sometimes see his former students around town, always greeted with a smile and a "Hey, Mr. Seresin!"

He stood up and handed out papers. It was a dull topic, even by his standards, but it was part of the curriculum. He made a mental note to keep it as brief as possible. After five minutes of focused silence, the chatter started up again. Jake cleared his throat loudly. "You know, if what you're talking about is so interesting, maybe you’d like to share it with the whole class?" He grinned, aiming for playful rather than strict. His students at least had the decency to look sheepish before quieting down again. It was quiet for the remaining minutes of the lesson.

As the final bell rang and the students gathered their things and went to leave. Kate, Tyler, Javi and Lilly immediately started talking rather loudly again. Jake overheard a comment that made him pause. "I wish I had Mr. Machado instead of Mr. Bradshaw," Javi grumbled. "Scott’s so damn lucky to have him."

When they were halfway out the door, Jake couldn’t help but call after them, "Oh? What terrible crime has Mr. Bradshaw committed now?" He leaned back against his desk, arms crossed, an amused look on his face.

The group froze, turning to see if Jake was serious or just messing with them. His smirk gave it away, and Lilly groaned dramatically. "Isn’t it obvious? Mr. Bradshaw’s out to get us! The amount of homework he gives—it’s practically a declaration of war."

Jake let out a snort of laughter, his eyes gleaming with a mix of amusement and something else, something softer. "Well, he does take his subject very seriously."

"It's English. We speak English. Why isn't that enough?" Javi scoffed.

Kate gave Javi a light smack on the back of his head. "You’re just lazy," she muttered, though Jake caught the words and chuckled.

"Is he really that bad?" Jake asked, packing up his things but still focused on his students. Javi and Lilly nodded enthusiastically, while Tyler seemed distracted, sneaking glances at Kate. Jake made a mental note to pair those two up for the next group project, already excited for excellent results.

Kate frowned thoughtfully. "I wouldn’t say he’s bad. Just… exhausting."

Jake chuckled, leaning in slightly as if sharing a secret. "Well, from what I’ve seen, he’s pretty normal. Maybe you’re all just a little… sensitive?"

"You don’t know him like we do!" Javi insisted, throwing in his best puppy dog eyes, which Lilly mimicked with dramatic flair. Jake laughed, raising a skeptical eyebrow. Was Bradley really that intense? Sure, he knew Bradley could be demanding, but that was one of the things he admired most about him. The guy had passion—perhaps a little too much sometimes, but it was all with good intentions. He just wanted to prepare his students for the future and maybe he was a little overzealous, but in the end he definitely had a good heart and just wanted everyone to do their best.

"Oh yes? How is Mr. Bradshaw different with you than when I see him in the hallways?"

Javi huffed. "You’ve never had to sit through one of his 40-minute rants about some ancient book nobody cares about. And trust me, it wasn’t even a good one!"

Jake shook his head in mock shock. "The horror! And here I thought English class was supposed to be relaxing. What did he do to you this time to earn your complaints today?"

"We have to write an eight-page essay," Tyler finally chimed in, his voice heavy with resignation.

"On what?" Jake asked curiously and tilted his head.

"If only I knew," Javi exclaimed dramatically, throwing his arms into the air before letting them drop in defeat.

Jake bit back a laugh. "Should I have a word with Mr. Bradshaw? Maybe scold him for his rude behavior and tell him to ease up on our poor, overworked students?"

The four of them grinned, and Lilly nodded enthusiastically. "You’d be our hero, Mr. Seresin! You’re the best!"

Jake chuckled, waving them off. "Enjoy your weekend, guys. Try not to let all that homework ruin it."

As they left, Jake allowed himself a smirk. He was definitely going to tease Bradley about this later. For now, though, he had snacks to buy and a movie to enjoy.

---------------------------

"Tyler, let’s go to the mall!" Lilly suggested, linking arms with Javi as they walked out of school.

"I’m in," Javi agreed quickly.

Tyler shrugged, "Why not?"

"Kate, you coming?" Javi asked, and after some light convincing, Kate agreed to join them.

"Tyler’s buying ice cream for everyone," Kate teased, nudging him with her elbow. Tyler rolled his eyes but raised his hands in mock surrender, earning high-fives from Lilly and Javi

Kate and Tyler smiled briefly at each other and the group of friends set off. They strolled through the mall, chatting and laughing, when Kate suddenly stopped in her tracks, pointing ahead. "Hey, isn’t that Mr. Seresin?"

"Yeah, it is," Lilly said, grinning. "Let’s go say hi."

But as they got closer, Lilly’s greeting died in her throat. Mr. Seresin was leaning in, kissing the man whose hand he was holding.

"No way," Kate whispered, her eyes wide in shock as she recognized the other man. Javi’s jaw practically hit the floor. The man Jake was kissing wore a familiar ring—one they’d all seen a thousand times on Mr. Seresin’s hand in class. Could it be…?

"Is that… Mr. Bradshaw?!"

𝐷𝐸𝐷𝐼𝐶𝐴𝑇𝐸𝐷 𝑇𝑂 𝐷𝐼𝐴𝑁𝐴, 𝑀𝑌 𝐹𝐴𝑉𝑂𝑅𝐼𝑇𝐸 𝑇𝐸𝐴𝐶𝐻𝐸𝑅 𝑇𝑂 𝐺𝑂𝑆𝑆𝐼𝑃 𝑊𝐼𝑇𝐻 <3

[bestanimatedmovie]

Choose your favorite!

Vote in the other polls!

What fans say:

Atlantis: The Lost Empire:

The whole movie is just top tier good shit. One of the top best underrated Disney movies with a great twist on who is bad. Ahead of its time. Plus Leonard Nimoy as the king???

I love the music, I love the adventure, and Helga Sinclair is an excellent villain. Not to mention such a strong cast.

Legitimately one of the most fascinatingly original animated films ever made, with not only a unique art style, but a cast of incredible and diverse characters all written with genuine heart and personality. I personally memorized what I call "Milo's Rant" for a drama monologue project in high school, and it still stands as one of my favorite scenes in ANY movie to this day.

The art style is amazing and it is one of my favorite stories. It was one of my favorite childhood movies and still is my favorite now. My favorite scene has to be the end fight scene in the volcano, though the "ENGLAND MUST NEVER MIX WITH FRANCE" line from Mole still makes me chuckle.

Megamind:

The memes on that guy! Also very likely one of Tumblr's most iconic movies. There's just great stuff in there and I want to rewatch the damn thing now.

The animation is great, the dialogue is INCREDIBLE, its an utterly fantastic deconstruction of the superhero genre, it is CRIMINALLY underrated, and i love it with every facet of my being (: Also my favorite scene is probably "PRESENTATION!!!" Seriously, i CANNOT overstate how awesome this scene is. Its perfect in SOOOOOO many ways!!!

PRESENTATION!!!!!!!!

An absolute delight of a film, Megamind is funny, subversive and incredibly emotionally resonant. Megamind is a very relatable protagonist and it might be one of the funniest movies I've ever watched. If you haven't seen it, you should.

Every scene is my favourite, it’s a masterpiece of humour and subversion and plot twists, 10-11 year old me didn’t watch it over 20 times in a row for nothing. I’ve had the opening quote written on my mirror since 2013.

PRESENTATION. it has a really good story, plot, characters, themes, and its really funny and i like it very much.

[shadamyheadcanons]

Been thinking a lot about this and wanted your thoughts. Isn't it strange the only character shown to not be openly afraid or judgemental of Shadow is Amy? I think the only one that comes close to that is Rouge but even then

A lot of characters are easily intimidated, scared of, not trustful or even judgey of Shadow a lot of the time. Which given some past actions and his general vibe is understandable but it never seems to apply to Amy

Even when she mistook him for Sonic she wasn't immediately scared afterwards just confused and later encourages him to save the world because she believes that he is a good person deep down. It's especially prominent in the Sonic takeover video, like when it's revealed that both Shadow and Amy enjoy Taylor Swift?

Sonic is surprised that Shadow the Edgy boy likes a pop artist and treats is a semi big deal. Amy meanwhile is just happy they have something in common, not even a 'oh that's surprising coming from you', just general happy they share similar music tastes

I might be thinking too deeply into it but it occurred to me that Amy never treats Shadow as someone to be scared of and treats him as no different from anyone else right from the start.

Tbh, I don’t think it’s strange at all. It’s standard Amy behavior. Metal Sonic is a scary robot who kidnapped her as a kid, but she still helped him without hesitation in that Sonic Mania short, even after he startled her. Gamma was an armed robot who was keeping her in a cell, but she didn’t show any fear toward him; she stood up to him to protect a Flicky, then befriended him immediately. She saw Silver nearly murder Sonic with incredible powers she’d never encountered before, and she still jumped in front of him to protect Sonic anyway. The werehog was big and scary, but not only did she accept Sonic in that form, she hugged the werehog the first time she saw him and showed no discomfort about it, merely expressing confusion at having hugged the wrong person even though she actually got it right that time.

She just doesn’t see anyone as a monster. And while that’s wonderful and wholesome, it’s a little worrisome, too. Rouge likes and trusts Shadow, but I don’t think she’s unaware of the extensive damage he could do. Omega probably feels the same way. That’s the wise way of looking at it.

But Amy? It’s not just her faith in the goodness of others, it’s straight-up naiveté. Her upbringing was rife with violence, kidnapping, danger, and death, and now she doesn’t know what’s normal. This is the same girl who somehow waltzed onto Prison Island with the intention of casually rescuing Sonic from a high-security prison by herself. If Tails hadn’t shown up, she easily could’ve died! She’s honestly lucky she’s gotten this far without being seriously injured or worse.

I’m sure Shadow loves that she doesn’t fear him and truly values her for that, even if he doesn’t say so, but he’d worry about her, too. I can picture him thinking, “She clearly has no sense of self-preservation. I’ll have to look after her to make sure nothing happens.” Maybe he already does. It could figure into their interactions at Cryptic Castle in ShTH. This sweet girl takes one look at him, of all people, as terrifying as he knows he is--on the darkest story routes you can take, no less--and she says, “Friend? :D” before running off alone into a dangerous, haunted castle to save a child and a Chao. So he follows her. Because she clearly doesn’t know how to stay safe. And she’d be safer by his side than pretty much anyone else’s not only because he’s as strong as you can get in this universe, but because he’ll go farther than anyone else to protect the ones he loves. He knows how it feels to lose someone important, and he won’t let it happen again. It’s time someone put Amy first!

Still can’t figure out how Sega made these two characters so perfect for each other *by accident.* Most movies I’ve seen can’t craft things so well even on purpose.

[sarcasticsra]

I cannot stress enough how much everyone should watch Starkid’s A VHS Christmas Carol if you haven’t seen it yet. It’s pretty short, only about 45 minutes, and it’s truly one of the best adaptations of A Christmas Carol that I’ve ever seen.

No, seriously. I think it has even surpassed The Muppets Christmas Carol for me. That has been my favorite Christmas movie since I was a child. My mom and sister and I used to watch it every Christmas Eve. I still love it dearly and it is an amazing adaptation that I’ll defend to my death, but you guys. You guys. A VHS Christmas Carol is just THAT GOOD.

It’s done in the style of 80s music/videos, which is delightful. It’s an opera, so it’s all sung through, which I love. And it’s so good!

Let me enumerate the ways. Spoilers to follow. (Can you spoil A Christmas Carol? Once a story becomes public domain does that exempt it from spoiling? Idk, lol. Spoilers for the show, anyway. Also for Avatar: The Last Airbender. …I promise there’s a path.)

1) Bah Humbug! - Song number one and it goes hard right from the start. It is everything an opening number should be. Dynamic, sets the tone, and an incredible fucking bop. The interactions between Scrooge and Fred and Scrooge and Bob are done so well, too. You so quickly get a sense of their characters. Obviously we know their characters because this is a story that has been told many a time before, but it does it so well that you would immediately get them even if you were an alien who had never in your existence been exposed to A Christmas Carol in any capacity. That’s impressive to me. It’s not relying on the familiarity of the story to do its character work.

2) 3 Spirits - I love the tone of this song. This is a Marley with true regret and pain who is absolutely pleading with Scrooge to take the chance he’s being given. It’s less “scared straight” and more, “I need you to understand this like you’ve never understood anything before.” Marley becomes a character in his own right as opposed to merely a backdrop for Scrooge to react to. That’s a theme with this adaptation. Characters who are pretty flat in a lot of adaptations seem so much more like real people in this one. Also, whoever decided to cast Meredith as Marley here is a fucking genius. She’s so goddamn talented and she really shines here. The emotion, the weight. Gah. Beautiful. The interplay between Marley and Scrooge is incredible as well; these are two insanely talented performers breathing a new life into tried and true characters, and you really feel the relationship between them.

3) I’m The Ghost - Christmas Past is so pointed and snarky and incredible, making Scrooge come to certain realizations. “Huh, little boy left all alone. Oh, your sister died so young. Didn’t she have a son though? Why are the employees so happy, this party didn’t cost much? Thinking of something? Okay, last stop, buckle up, it’s all your own doing.” I love it so much.

4) That Scrooge - You guys. You guys. They’ve done what I assumed was impossible. They’ve done what even the Muppets couldn’t. It’s a Scrooge-Belle breakup song that isn’t the most unbelievably boring and bland thing you’ve ever heard in your life. Belle is a fucking person! She has a personality! She’s very clearly stating her case, that he’s changed and she doesn’t like it and does he have anything to say? No? Okay, bye! THE EMOTION IN THIS SONG. Scrooge starts singing not just with her but to her! All the things he didn’t say before! And then he starts singing angrily about/at his past!self for being an idiot! You actually FEEL THINGS about this relationship. It was a deep love and losing it super fucked him up! I have never before seen Belle/Scrooge done as well as this one (1) song handles it.

5) Christmas Electricity - Get ready to have this song stuck in your head for ten thousand years. This song is, I believe, the standard classical definition of “a fuckin’ bop.” It’s so high energy and exciting, you really can understand how Scrooge gets so caught up in it himself. You also see more of Fred in this song and, again, he’s a person! He has specific motivations for why he keeps reaching out to Scrooge. Corey’s Fred is hands down one of the best performances of this character full stop. He took what is usually a bit, side character and made him a full human with understandable thoughts and feelings. They gave the Fred-Scrooge relationship such incredible emotional weight because of it. I think that’s one of my favorite aspects of this adaptation.

6) Priceless - Here we see the Cratchits enjoying their Christmas with an incredibly sweet song about having little but feeling like they have a lot. I really like the way this song feels a bit cheesy (goes with the whole 80s vibe) but they also feel like a real family with some silliness and some sweetness and Bob’s wife having very strong opinions about Scrooge that he’s too polite for. Also “listen to this key change out of the bridge” goddamn just show off constantly how freaking talented this entire cast is, why don’t you.

7) The Final Ghost - I probably have too much to say about this song. It’s my favorite, which considering this entire show is pitch fucking perfect, is really saying a lot. Dylan Saunders is truly one of the most talented performers I’ve ever seen, and his Scrooge is so, so good. It really shines through here. His interactions with Christmas Future show him mirroring Bob from earlier (he has a line that’s almost an exact quote of a line from Bob in Bah Humbug!), correcting himself, and trying to be respectful/humble. Subtle displays of emotional growth even before he gets to the truly scary parts. The song is of course a darker tone, as is correct for this part of the narrative, perfectly setting up the finale song. We get Scrooge overhearing about a funeral no one cares about, the same man being robbed after death, and this death bringing actual happiness to people. Throughout it all so far Christmas Future only speaks in a wordless melody, as is apt. Scrooge asks for tenderness connected to death and is shown the Cratchits mourning Tiny Tim, which breaks him, and he asks who the dead man was from earlier. Still wordless, Christmas Future leads him to a cemetery, and that wordless melody perfectly transforms into an eerie, ethereal, “Ebenezer Scrooge.” The fucking amount of sheer EMOTION Dylan packs into Scrooge pleading for his soul, that he is changed, and the final bit of narration… fuck, you guys, it’s so good. I love all of the “scene” parts of this song so much. It all builds so perfectly.

7a) The narrator. - This isn’t a specific song, I just want to call out how excellent the narrator is through the whole show and how perfectly the narration ties the whole show together. It’s one of those things where it goes unnoticed because it’s so perfect, but if it were bad you would definitely notice. You need it to be there and understated or a lot a falls apart, but it can be such hard balance to strike. This show nails it.

8) Christmas Day - The finale! And what a finale it is! The energy is a perfect contrast to the song before it as Scrooge delights in being alive and having time to make things right. His joy is palpable as he goes about his day, buying Bob a huge turkey, making an incredible donation to the charity he blew off the day before, and showing up at Fred’s. Guys. This scene. Especially when I watch the live, but even sometimes just via the soundtrack, this scene just fucking perfectly, beautifully guts me. You know how in Avatar: The Last Airbender, Zuko has to go on his whole narrative arc to eventually join the right side, and along the way sort of betrays his Uncle Iroh, aka the only good father figure he’s ever had, because he’s a traumatized teenager, and eventually he meets back up with him and starts stumbling out an apology and Iroh just sweeps him up in a hug without a word, and you sob because it’s perfect? That is the energy present in this, what, 15-second scene, just this incredible emotional buildup and payoff accomplished in a scant 45-minute runtime. It’s truly wondrous. The finale, as all true finales should, calls back musically to previous character beats, and ends on the perfect bookend to the opening number. It’s just so, so immensely satisfying.

Tl;dr - this musical has made me feel more Christmas-y than I have in a long, long time, and I have listened to little else in terms of music since I watched it two weeks ago. (It was literally the only music I had listened to since then until right now, and that’s only because I’m in a van on a road trip to my sister-in-law’s for Christmas. While I would have been perfectly content to listen to this soundtrack on repeat for the entire 8-hour drive, I also recognize that the four other people in this van do not have my particular flavor of hyperfixated ADHD brain and probably would not appreciate that, heh. Thus I played it once and then other music. Compromise!)

But yes. Seriously. It’s so good. Gah. Go watch it!

[moonlitempty]

Shaun of the Dead (2004), Dir. Edgar Wright, Starring Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost.

A romantic comedy, with zombies.

For a while now, I have kept movie entries in my personal journal, it feels like a tangible way to commemorate and preserve a movie I feel deserves such attention, and even before I started that habit, I was intimidated by the entries for The Cornetto Trilogy.

All three movies were just so special and influential to me, and physical writing has a tendency to, y’know, get fucked up, so it was a struggle figuring out a way to both preserve my love for these films on my journal, and make it look mildly cute. Safe to say, I think I’ve achieved said balance.

This is the entry for Shaun! I tried to feature a lot of blood splatter/bloodstain motifs, in accordance to the movie obviously, and you might think the b&w colour scheme of the printed images was intentional, but the sad and almost hilarious truth is that it was a limitation! My printer is a laser printer, and those can’t do colours. So I tried to reach a monochromatic style with these entries, where I highlight one single colour that I think is reminiscent of the movie. For Shaun, it was obviously red.

I am not a movie critic (even if I like to think I am), so the personal thoughts section of the entry may come off as shallow or void of detail, I’m sorry about that! But if we’re honest, at this point in time, my love for these films should not be a point of doubt, even if my written thoughts are lax at best.

I remember the first time I actually *heard* of Shaun of the Dead, it was via a kill count video on youtube, and even then I was intrigued by it, all the love and praise I had heard directed towards it was something that drew me in, I didn’t actively search out the movie just yet, I just kept it as a mental memo that I’d get to later.

Then, on one magical night, and by pure fate, I stumbled upon the film on cable TV, I was channel hopping and seeing the title on the screen made my eyes light up, this was my chance to see what all the *fuzz* was about. So I didn’t hesitate and I changed the channel from VH1, to experience the Shauning. My life changed at that instant.

Shaun of the Dead was the most charming and charismatic film I had seen up until that point, I had heard about how flawlessly it was edited and how well every single joke landed, but experiencing said praises in the flesh was phenomenal, and Simon’s role as Shaun was instantly memorable and you could say he was the thing that hooked me in. He was so cynical and snarky, yet caring and loving of the band of misfits he was surrounded by. Though Nick as Ed was also an incredibly charming experience.

I remember just being completely entranced by everything surrounding the film, the movie kept going on and on and I kept finding stuff to love about it. The fact that it was clearly a movie that didn’t take itself too seriously as to be a de facto horror movie, yet it still conveyed emotions in a serious and profound way just really stuck a chord with me, and I’m sure everyone already praises this particular quality, but the quick, snappy and dynamic directing and editing choices characteristic of Edgar Wright are just lovely.

They manage to make the movie feel novel and it hooks you in, without risking making it feel overwhelming and too distracting. And I haven’t even mentioned the score and songs featured in the movie! While the film is perfect on a purely visual standpoint, the accompanying music on every scene elevates the overall feel of the scene you happen to be watching. Whether it be the mundane feeling of Shaun’s daily life, or the dread of the slow realisation that something ain’t quite right in London, or the inspiration and undying will to keep surviving and overcoming.

Frankly, I could go on and on and on about how much I adore this film, about how much it helped me deepen the love I have for filmmaking, and how much it even inspired to purchase filmmaking. But let’s be blunt, you guys probably don’t want to read my ramblings any longer, (but if you do for any reason, do let me know! I love feeling like my opinion matters in any way).

So, Shaun of the Dead! If I could, I’d screen you to any person who even breathes in my direction, I love you so much and I’m sure I’ll rewatch you as soon as I get the TV to myself.

10/10.

[cassipedia]

Review of Migration (2023)

Hey, Cassipedia, what’re you watching?

Over the weekend, I watched the film Migration. It is an original animated film directed by Benjamin Renner and co-directed by Guylo Homsy and produced by Illumination. When I say original, I do mean it, as it is the first movie I’ve seen in a while that is not an adaption nor based on a pre-existing property.

Do you recommend watching it?

Yes, very much so! This was a surprising experience that I would hate for others to miss out on. The commercials had piqued my interest with the beautiful animation of the flying scenes and the jokes seemed harmless enough. Sometimes I am wary of Illumination films as they can be sometimes a bit too noisy or chaotic, but I’m very glad I saw the movie anyways, as it was surprisingly heartwarming, very cute and stunningly gorgeous (and, contrary to my concerns, it actually uses quiet moments better than most animated films I’ve seen recently!)

What's the story like?

This is a story about the Mallard family, ducks that live a peaceful and simple life in their pond, until a flock of migrating ducks stirs an adventurous itch in everyone except the nervous father, Mack. However, he soon comes around to the idea as he realizes how much an adventure would mean to his family and especially his wife Pam. So they start flying to Jamaica for a vacation. The trailers for the movie spoils the fact that the ducks take a wrong turn and end up in New York City, but the story is less focused on ‘duck shenanigans in an unfamiliar place’ and it instead is more of a road trip with a seamlessly integrated villain. This road trip allows the Mallard family to see different locations and meet different birds, all the while the family grows closer, trusting each other and growing braver in their own ways. There are delightful moments of silliness that are reminiscent of Looney Toons, but the movie takes seriously how much the family loves each other, giving them a reason to grow together as strong and beautifully as the trees they fly over.

What does the movie look like?

Think of how beautiful the sky is. Have you ever been on a plane and looked out at the sloping mountains and pillars of white clouds? Or perhaps, as the sun sets, you look up see how the red sun fades into golden orange blanketed by increasingly purple clouds and the approach of blue night? This movie understands how beautiful the sky is and elevates that feeling, as our bird characters soar and fly through vibrant forests, to a claustrophobic but intriguing water-logged shed, to the shiny and colossal skyscrapers of New York. The settings are gorgeous and the characters themselves are animated masterfully, so each character is incredibly expressive, with the beauty and grace of real-life birds mixed with Muppets-style comedic timing and cartoon stretchiness anchored by being able to carry heavy emotions. This all goes hand-in-hand whenever the birds take flight, as the camera seamlessly follows the birds from take-off to being air born, giving the thrill of a flying rollercoaster. There is such a sense of scale and height, and the world is from the birds’ perspective, with little details that brought me back to the creativity of early Pixar, such as having the father duck blow away a lightning bug nightlight like blowing out a candle, or how the birds will seamlessly alternate between their wings or their feet to gesture. With the movie being from the perspective of the birds, that means none of the human characters talk, being more like creatures existing alongside the bird characters, and this results in a very entertaining and interesting villain in the form of a duck chef with a Yakuza, gang member level of intimidation, whom never utters a word beyond grunts and yells paired with very well-made expressions. To give an idea of how good the animation is, even though the chef has no lines, from simply how he moves, sharpens his knives and looks at the ducks, one can see how, he’s a chef that takes his cooking very seriously, demanding high quality, but, when the ducks start interfering with his business, then he’s all too happy to start seeking revenge. And he is technically only a fun obstacle as the core of the story that this beautiful movie conveys is not about them versus a villain, but instead focused on a family.

How are the actors and actresses?

Every voice perfectly fit their characters, and the animations did excellent in having it where I could feel the characters talking, watching how their beaks formed the words with little flashes of their pointed, bird tongues. The father Mack Mallard was voiced by Kumail Nanjiani and did excellent as an anxious father who could get silly and serious, (and whose manner of speaking fittingly reminded me of a more grounded Daffy Duck). Elizabeth Banks voiced Pam Mallard and delivered as a mother with energy and eagerness paired by a snappy quick wit and a genuineness in each word. One of the cores of this movie is seeing and hearing how Mack and Pam fall back in love with each other over the course of the film, and I believe these voice actors delivered. The rest of the family cannot be overlooked, as Caspar Jennings as Dax Mallard provides a great performance as a courageous young boy who is itching for adventure. Dax is full of bravery but lacks the knowhow on how to protect himself along with others, whereas his father Mack is an excellent survivor but needs to be urged out of his comfort zone to truly become brave. The lesson between them is not simply one is right and the other is wrong, but it is a sharing of perspectives, in which the boy’s bravery inspires the father, and the father’s wisdom equips the boy against their obstacles. I was most concerned of the family member Uncle Dan, voiced by Danny DeVito, as to if he would be an unpleasant tagalong as sometimes happens in these movies, but he quickly established himself as someone who, though he makes quips and seems to lean on his self-interest, he never, ever hesitates to dote on and play with his darling niece, the youngest Mallard, Gwen, who is voiced adorably by Tresi Gazal. Notably, the film makes a point to show that the family already loves one another at the start, but their trip lets them appreciate each other and push their boundaries and discover more of themselves. The other voice talent are more than just recognizable celebrity names and each fit their characters, providing a distinct and colorful cast as one would hope from a road trip type movie. The Herons were my favorites in setting the tone of characters not always being what they seemed in an intriguing way, but each played a role in furthering the family’s journey and usually closed their loop on their own personal journey. The only group of these characters that may feel underexplored are the migrating ducks that inspire the Mallards on their journey in the first place, but I think it is due to the other characters simply having more screentime, as I’ve no doubt these characters would have been just as entertaining as the rest of the cast if they had been given more time.

Is the music worth talking about?

This is not a musical, but the score is absolutely a big part in why the scenery and so many of the moments in this movie sticks out in my mind so vividly. If you listen carefully, you will hear how the music changes depending on the setting. While the Mallards are in the forest, there is an emphasis on using a whimsical choir, adding to the lighthearted feeling, and as they enter the city, unsure of what it even is at first, the music takes on an ethereal, almost dream-like quality that one isn’t quite sure what to make of, until the ducks pass through the smog and nearly run into a steel beam and suddenly you got energetic and chaotic brass instruments banging in as the Mallards are caught in a whirlwind of New York City hustle and bustle. My words really can’t do it justice. And it is worth noting, there is only one distinct instance of a pop song being used in the movie and it is incorporated quite well as a band in a scene plays that song, resulting in a surprisingly beautiful display of ducks engaged in a Salsa dance. The movie is very smart with its music, as it furthers the immersion of seeing this colorful world through these cartoon ducks’ eyes. There are also great moments of quiet and silence, as the movie will also let the atmosphere talk for itself, really letting you sink into it (though it is worth noting that, for the opening of the Universal and Illumination logos, these are the complete opposite and are the noisiest parts of the entire film as the Minion characters from Despicable Me introduce the logos with kazoos. And if you are watching the film in theaters, you may find yourself sitting a surprisingly long time watching a short film based in the Despicable Me universe called ‘Mooned’ but rest assured, you did not walk in on the wrong movie and I very much encourage you not to leave your seat as I overheard many others in the theater seats next to me nearly did.)

Who would like this movie most?

If you are someone that likes birds or the sensation of being high up in the air or on a rollercoaster, I very much urge you to check out this movie. It is also a film that I think would be very enjoyed by those whom are interested in animation and illustration, to see an excellent example of how colors and movement can truly be blended to dazzle in a movie format. The story and characters are well-written and compelling for any age, though I think this movie would be well-received by families, especially as this film strives to show how a family grows closer together. There is a clever, timelessness to the jokes that focus more on the situation on hand and when you have animal characters reflecting on human habits, such as when one of the birds refers to a chef as ‘a predator that hunts prey and serves it to much lazier predators.’ During one of my viewings of the film, I had the pleasure of a family of a broad range from the parents, to their parents to young boys all sitting near me, and it caught my ear that each generation consistently laughed throughout the course of the film.

Where can I watch it?

This film is available in theaters for only a little bit longer at the time of writing this, but I heavily recommend seeing it in theaters at least once. Not only so you can really soak in the colors and the scope of the heights as the birds fly, but also so you can better feel the thrusting of wings as the birds take to the sky and the wind rushes through their feathers. It is an incredible experience. Considering it is an animated movie, it is possible it may re-appear in theaters for kids movie special offers as theaters like the Marcus Theaters sometimes provide. Otherwise, if this review reaches you too late, the film is available for streaming on Peacock for the first four months of being released, then will move to Netflix for the next ten, and then will return to Peacock for the remaining four, so I recommend checking between those streaming services of Peacock and Netflix. Otherwise, it doesn’t hurt to keep an eye out for a physical copy.

Final thoughts?

Migration is a beautiful film that I think can very easily fit in as a classic film, one that focuses on bringing a family together through a fun and colorful adventure. At the very least, it was a pleasure to watch in theaters as a visual rollercoaster, especially for the bird lover in me, and I hope, after its theatrical release that it will make its way into homes as it made its way into my heart. If you’re up for an adventure, then I completely encourage taking the dive.

[vintagepresley]

I’ve only seen a few Elvis movies so far, but I was curious how you would rank them? From best to worst. :)

Oooh.. Which ones have you seen? Also, I'd love to rank his movies! This will be fun. 😂

These are how I rank them personally. But I'd love to hear everyone else's rankings! I will be ranking the movies from the 50's first and then do the 60's, because his movies in the 50's are honestly my favorite because the stories actually made sense and weren't rushed and you can tell he actually cared.

The 50's - From best to worst

King Creole (Baby acted his ass off in this and the story was great!)

Jailhouse Rock (I really loved this because I could hope that he would've taken charge of his career the way Vince did without the asshole part. Another where the story was great.)

Loving you (He was just too darn cute in this movie with his little stuttering and I love that his parents were in it. Deke has my heart.)

Love Me Tender (Spoiler: this gets worst because he dies 😭)

The 60's - From best to worst

1. Follow That Dream (Does this even need an explanation? You guys know how much I love this movie and not even for the story. It's my comfort movie)

2. Girls! Girls! Girls! (This was the very first Elvis movie I saw and I hold it dear to my heart. I would play Return to Sender on repeat, lol)

3. Wild in the Country (I know this is like 50/50 for people but I really loved this movie. The story was great and his acting was amazing.)

4. G.I Blues (God.. This movie.. He.. Yeah, he looked fine as hell. Story was okay. The songs are my fave.)

5. Live a Little, Love a Little (This was the second Elvis movie I saw and honestly is a favorite!! Bernice is insane BUT I STAN. Greg Nolan is my baby.)

6. It Happened at the World's Fair (This movie was so cute and funny. I always love him in movies with kids! 😭)

7. The Trouble with Girls (DO I EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN?!!? HIS EYES WERE SPARKLING. THE SUITS)

8. Change of Habit (Okay, I feel like this movie is incredibly underrated and AE made it seem like it was so terrible. But I personally loved this movie because of its serious story and plot. It was also a different character we've seen Elvis play. I think had there been no songs at all, this would've been taken more seriously. He also looked good af.)

9. Flaming Star (Despite the stereotypes and well everything else that would get this movie canceled.. I actually enjoyed it a lot. It was certainly different for Elvis. If I remember correctly, Tarantino said this was his favorite Elvis western because it was the most violent.)

10. Kid Galahad (This movie was good and another different character for him. But I'm not into boxing so it was kind of boring to me)

11. Blue Hawaii (I really enjoyed this movie, but I don't love it as much as everyone does. I don't get the hype and I also think Can't Help Falling In Love is overplayed and overrated. He's got so many better love songs. But that's just my opinion! This movie still gets a good ranking though.)

12. Viva Las Vegas (I enjoyed this movie! But much like Blue Hawaii I don't get the hype. It's not my favorite but definitely not the worst)

Now let's get into the movies that in my personal opinion were the worst. Now that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy them. Even with the stories not being great; some of them were funny!

13. Fun in Acapulco (This movie was enjoyable but the story could've been better and I didn't really like a lot of the songs.)

14. Roustabout (I just found this movie so boring and I'm not surprised the colonel loved it. But Elvis looked HOT.)

15. Girl Happy (I really enjoyed this but again the story wasn't great and his character wasn't anything special. But if you want a few laughs this is a good one. ALSO ELVIS IN A DRESS!!!) 16. Tickle Me (this movie was so funny and Elvis always has perfect comedic timing. It reminded me of Scooby Doo. But unfortunately the story was meh they also used songs from one of his old albums because they had nothing written for the film)

17. Spinout (This movie was okay, a few laughs. But nothing too special besides him threatening to spank someone, lol. Basic Elvis character.)

18. Speedway (A few good songs, but kinda boring to me)

19. Frankie and Johnny (I really liked the aesthetic of this film and some of the songs, but it certainly wasn't the best. He looked horrid in that yellow sweater lmfao)

20. Paradise, Hawaiian Style (I enjoyed the songs and his interaction with the little girl. It was too cute! A few good laughs, but nothing to rave about)

21. Stay Away, Joe (This movie was so ridiculous and stupid, but also funny as hell to me because of how ridiculous it was. Another one that would be cancelled. But Elvis looked so good lol)

22. Clambake (SNOOZE FEST. Stupid story also Elvis tried to get out of making this movie. So much drama behind the scenes of this, lol. He was fat shamed. His character.. I don't even know.)

23. Charro! (This movie could've been great since they weren't really any songs, Elvis' acting was great and he looked good with a beard. But the story was just so boring.)

24. Double Trouble (This movie was funny but that's about it. Story was eh)

25. Kissin' Cousins (Jesus Christ.. Where do I even begin with this movie? We should not be hooking up with our cousins first off, LMFAO. The only good thing was Jodie. 😂)

26. Harum Scrum (I DONT EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN THIS DUMPSTER FIRE. I hate this movie, lol. 2.99 WASTED. Like wtf was this?? It was so bad Elvis gave up acting in the middle of it lol.)

Now let's rank the concert docs for funsies!

Elvis on Tour (THIS IS MY BABY. The amount of times I watch this is unhealthy. He's so fucking sexy in it and just watching him at all these shows doing what he loves. Ugh. The shot of him staring out the window and kind of just lost in thought.. It just makes me want to hold him.)

That's The Way It Is (The first concert doc I watched. This is just amazing. The album alone is my favorite. But seeing him up on that stage giving it his all and having so much fun doing it warms my heart.)

Aloha From Hawaii via Satellite (I know this technically isn't a concert doc but it belongs on this list. Do I even need to say how amazing this was??? How good he looked?? This certainly is underrated.)

Honorable mention

Elvis In Concert - (I wish they would release this because it only aired once I believe on October 3rd, 1977. But that was it. You can watch it on YouTube because someone remastered it and fixed the audio as best as they could. But It'd be nice if EPE would just release the actual footage and have CBS or RCA remaster it. Despite how ill he was he still put on a performance no matter what. He still wanted to make the fans happy. But I understand why they don't really want it out there.)

Sorry this was so long and I don't know if you wanted my actual opinions on them. But I felt I might as well give them, lol. Thanks for the question, bestie!

[tmnt-tychou]

Hi again!!! 😄 congrats on reaching your milestone!! That’s so cool!

This has been a question I’ve been wanting to ask, mostly cuz I’m curious! If you had to rank your personal favorite iterations of the TMNT based on characters and story, which would rank higher in your opinion? Bayverse turtles can also count!! 😁

Thanks again, and congrats!!! 🎉

I had to marinate on this. It's very hard to pick favorites when there's so many good versions to choose from. And these are just personal favorites, not a hard line on which show/movie is the best ever. No need to tell me what's what if anyone sees this list and disagrees. This is just my personal list.

I think my absolute top tier is still the 2003 version. This is largely due to the fact that this series was allowed to cover all the story lines that it wanted. Granted, not every episode is gold, but it really took advantage of all the things you can do in a TMNT universe and very much set a precedent of other versions to follow. (I do not count Fast Forward and Back to the Sewers in this.)

Rise of the TMNT is second. I think it had the capacity to surpass 2003, but it wasn't afforded the opportunity. With how much world-building and new ground it covered with only a season and a half, I can't even imagine what we would have had with a full five seasons or so if it had been allowed to continue.

Bayverse is my third favorite. Not necessarily because I think it's the "best", but because it's a lot of fun to play in. Some fans take Bayverse very seriously. I just can't. It's my anything-goes universe. I reserve a bit of respect for the other universes, but with Bayverse, I can do whatever dumb shit I want. I can make the dialog as crass as I want, I can explore more mature themes that I otherwise wouldn't put in a TMNT universe. I dunno, it's just stupid and fun. Also, very big turtles. I can't get enough.

Next is the 90's movies trilogy. The 2nd and 3rd are just stupid fun and very enjoyable. The first one, I think is still the best movie script to date and it too set a precedent for future TMNT iterations, including 2003.

I'll sneak in some comics here. "The Last Ronin" is a great read, if sad. Though not as rough of a read as I anticipated. And I really adored the TMNT/Power Rangers second crossover. (I have not read the first.) Of course, the art is AMAZING, but the script was great, too. I don't know a lot about PRs, but I could mostly follow along. And the Raphael/Casey bromance in this was SO GOOD.

Next, I would put the first 5 episodes of the 80's cartoon here. Yes, the show got dumb. They were on for like 10 seasons. But the first five episodes are pretty solid and a really good story. If you haven't seen the 80's cartoon and are overwhelmed with the sheer amount of episodes there are, just watch the first five. That's all you need.

I guess 2012 will go here. It's not my favorite series, though I know it's some fans' absolute true love TMNT iteration. I thought the first season was (mostly) pretty solid and I was really into it when it first came out, but by the end it was just the hottest of messes. Are there some fantastic episodes? Yes. Is this one of the best Splinters we've ever had? Also yes. Are the turtles' designs absolutely freaking adorable? Of course. Is that enough to carry this series for me? Unfortunately, no. This show is one big garbage fire and I didn't even watch most of the last season. Though I did catch that incredibly off-putting last episode.

Turtles Forever goes here. It was a great idea for a movie and I would have put it higher up, but I just watched it recently. It's actually kind of mean-spirited to other iterations, specifically the 80's version. So it goes lower on the scale for me.

The 2007 movie is next. Terrible script. So-so character designs. Some fantastic scenes. Probably one of the best Raphaels we've had.

Bottom tier stuff: Fast Forward, Back to the Sewers, a lot of the 80's show. The Next Mutation.

[sleepymarmot]

Rope (1948)

[Watched on October 29th]

As with my previous Hitchcock – first, the liveblog.

Yes, yes, I’ve been watching the shortest films in my watchlist recently. Still, when I saw 1:20 in my video player, I had to pause and google for confirmation.

Oh look, James Stewart again!

I love it when a film is just a stage play on screen. They’ve got such a distinctive style of writing and delivery!

Added ten seconds later: fucking incredible amounts of “as you know” exposition in this dialogue lmfao

Me knowingly watching a gay subtext classic: I know it’s from the 40s but it really feels like they’re about to kiss

Phillip looks like a destiel lovechild btw

Approximately 1/4 of dialogue at the party so far is murder innuendos

Love the women’s chat about hot actors… some things never change

This old guy has an Ivan Karamazov vibe. I bet within the hour he’s going to regret his rhetoric!

Why is Brandon straight up confessing…

The most obvious murderers since Raskolnikov I swear to god

They’re yelling so loudly that Rupert would hear them over the phone in the next room

In the last 10-15 minutes I seriously considered that Rupert would side with them after all. I genuinely had no idea whether the movie would take the natural route (it did) or have a big plot twist. [Film name redacted for spoilers] did manage to ruin itself at the very last minute, after all!

---

Rope has been on my watchlist forever, but the other day I looked up Leopold and Loeb on Wikipedia, and the mention of the film at the end of the article finally inspired me to watch it.

Once again, I don’t really have anything special to say about a Hitchcock film. This one didn’t shoot itself in the foot, thankfully! It was pretty much what I expected.

Surprise: a Hitchcock film is suspenseful! I was genuinely nervous despite not sympathizing with the murderers. Especially during that shot of the food being cleared off of the chest…

It took me some time to catch on that the weird blackouts on characters’ backs were the means to disguise the cuts, and the takes were extremely long. Really enhances the theatrical feel! Nice darkening evening sky effect in the background, too, though the clouds looked distractingly fake. The lack of cuts and the visibly fading daylight were quite successful at creating the feeling that we’re watching the events in real time.

I like how much of the dialogue references the murder, and only half of the participants understand it. “These hands will bring you great fame”!

What I didn’t expect was the Dostoyevsky of it all. Inappropriate rants in a crowd of colorful individuals? Discussions of the right to kill and to dismiss the ethical norms? A guy on the verge of a nervous breakdown, screaming crying throwing up throughout the whole thing? Sexual transgression that the characters try not to talk about directly? I’ve seen this somewhere before!

Obligatory review section: “accidental marathon, i.e. similarities with the last movie I watched before this one” (or, in this case, the last one I watched and liked). This time it’s unconventional toxic couple having arguments in a room for an hour and a half. Oh wait a second, I didn’t even realize! The actual last movie I watched starred Cary Grant, who was mentioned in this one and was, according to the internet, offered the role of Rupert.

Rating: something between 9 and 10 out of 10.

[acklesangel97]

RANT TIME!

So I go to this woman to get kinda physio/full body massage thing every 3 weeks and I was telling her how I went to see the Barbie movie and how amazing it is and the message is incredible etc. And she’s of that boomer generation, and she’s got some boomer views on stuff.

So when I was talking about how the movie talks about how there’s so many expectations put upon women and life is just different for men and woman and they don’t view the world in the same way kinda thing. And she just, didn’t get it. She started being all “but the majority of men are good and I think women are the problem a lot of the time”… my brain short circuited at this point. Anyway, I kind of tried to drive home the whole ‘women have so many expectations and pressures out on them that they feel they constantly have to live up to but never quite can’ cos I felt like she thought I was saying all men are abusive and controlling and horrible to women or something. But she was all “but women put those expectations on themselves”, like it’s women’s own fault for thinking they have to be a certain way. Like, no! It’s society that’s done it. Society still makes women feel like we have to be this and that. Idk I just felt she seriously wasn’t getting it and it was almost like she was saying “men are nice but women are always vilifying them for no reason and women make themselves feel bad for all these pressures and expectations”… or something. Just, not getting it.

But I saw her again today, and she has since seen the Barbie movie… she still didn’t get the point. She was once again saying how women are the problem a lot of the time. And, I couldn’t believe this part, she actually even said some men “go gay” because they can’t relate to women or women get too domineering or something so it’s easier for them… I couldn’t really respond at that point and I was glad she was behind me and couldn’t see my face. Then there was a bit where she said she didn’t like the bit at the beginning where the little girls were throwing away their dolls and smashing them up or whatever so I said I think that was kinda saying the little girls discovered Barbie and that their life didn’t have to be just becoming a mother. They could do whatever they want to do, cos Barbie can do anything. And then it somehow got into parenting and she was saying how the dad is meant to be the fun one who can take the kids away and play with them but the mum should be the one to lay down the law. And so I was like, well that’s unfair to the mum that she has to be the boring one who sets all the rules and disciplines the kids and the dad just gets to be the “fun parent” who doesn’t have to bother with serious stuff. Like, the dad is half the reason the child exists in the first place and it’s the mum who had to go through the most just bringing the child into the world why does the dad get to continue to get the easier role? And then she was all “men are designed to be the breadwinners - they were the hunters and gatherers” and I was thinking “jfc I thought this was 2023”. Just losing the will at this point.

Idk and she kept saying like “I’m really lucky I’ve never had domineering men in my life and my dad was really great”. Like, yeah my dad is great too and I’ve never actually had a bad encounter with a man but I can still recognise men in general have it easier than women cos the world and society is designed that way. And even though the world has come on a lot in the last few decades, it’s still not as far on as some people think it is or as it should be. And I was just pissed off that she just was not getting it. That as a woman, she wasn’t getting it. And when she kept blaming women… ugh.

I try not to take her views too seriously as she is of the boomer generation with very boomer views on things. Like this one time she went to a wedding where it was two men getting married and she was telling me about how it was lovely but she had to look away when it got the part where they kissed… she just “couldn’t look”. So she’s obviously that kinda “I’m not homophobic but I don’t want to see it” way. So I try not to take her too seriously or listen that much. She is nice, I swear. I just can’t deal with some of her opinions or views on things. And I just had to rant about that cos I just don’t get how you can listen to the monologue America Ferrera gave and not understand the point.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream - Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

I think it was pretty easy to write off the Shrek franchise in the 2010s. Shrek Forever After was considered pretty underwhelming (even if it has undergone a reevaluation in recent years) and Puss in Boots didn’t really make any waves, and so the franchise languished,  becoming an endless fountain of memes while Dreamworks moved on to producing great stories that ended up eclipsing the Shrek films in the public eye. By the 2020s, it really seemed like Shrek was dead, relegated to two great movies, one good one, a so-so spinoff, and a horrible fever dream with Justin Timberlake.

And then, right the hell out of nowhere, Puss in Boots made his big cinematic return, and not only that, he came back with one of the actual greatest animated films I’ve ever seen, filled with deep themes, strong characters, and great jokes. And it’s not like any of these things are foreign to the Shrek franchise, but in 2022?

The Last Wish is a true return to form for the franchise, and a good sign of the direction that Dreamworks is moving in. The Bad Guys had slick, stylish animation that was a bit atypical for the studio and seemingly a sort of response to Spider-Verse, a “You can do that sick, stylish animation? So can we!” This movie shows that that direction was no fluke; this movie has gorgeous, stylish, fluid animation that revamps the character designs for the modern age and just looks the best the Shrek franchise ever has. The animation also leads to some of the best Dreamworks action scenes this side of Kung Fu Panda, with Puss fighting the giant in the intro and every single duel he has with the Wolf being some of the hypest shit you will ever see.

The side characters and antagonists are also better than ever. Kitty Softpaws returns, and she gets some development for her relationship with Puss, and joining the feline duo is a goofy little dog who is relentlessly cheerful and optimistic, and while this character so easily could have been the most grating thing on earth, he remains one of the sweetest and funniest characters in the film. Hell, he’s honestly the emotional glue of the film, helping give Puss the pushes he needs to develop as a character! Goldilocks and the three bears have here been reimagined as a crime family, with Goldilocks being the adopted daughter of the bears, and they are a funny and loving unconventional family of anti-villains who it’s easy to root for due to being incredibly sympathetic. Florence Pugh really cements herself as being a fun scene-stealing actor in found family films, though this film is definitely leagues better than Black Widow.

Then we have the two best additions to the cast: Big Jack Horner and the Wolf. Big Jack, played by John Mulaney, is one of the single darkest villains in the Shrek franchise, with his callous and wanton disregard for life and his relentless cruelty… But he’s also one of the funniest characters, with his murderous actions being played up for black comedy and his card-carrying sociopathy is just so laughable that he becomes a perfect love to hate villain. The Wolf, on the other hand, is the darkest villain in the franchise. He is a terrifying force of nature, relentlessly pursuing Puss and giving him the fights of his life. He’s the only villain in the franchise who is played completely seriously, with not a hint of humor to him, and there’s a very good reason to that tied with the true nature of his character, which is a great twist I don’t want to spoil.

And all of this would be great on its own, but all of this is wrapped up with darker and heavier themes than you’d likely expect. Puss spends the film trying very hard to outrun his own mortality and use his wish to regain the eight lives he callously threw away due to his monumental ego and disregard for his gift. I remember seeing a lot of early reviews calling this the Logan of the Shrek franchise, and honestly? That’s not too far off. This movie is a hell of a lot more optimistic, but it deals with some really heavy themes and Puss really has to reflect on who he is and what really has value in his life throughout the story, something Goldi also needs to learn and something Jack happily rejects in his lust for power.

This is just an absolutely fantastic and triumphant return for the flagship franchise of Dreamworks, and easily one of the best movies in said franchise. This is up there with Shrek 2 I’d say, if not better (though it’s probably not as good as the “Holding Out for a Hero” sequence, but nothing is anyway). The voice cast is killer, the characters have strong arcs even if some of them are relatively simple, screen time feels very evenly divided between the core players, the animation is amazing, the action is incredible… I never thought I’d say this ever again, but I am seriously looking forward to the future of the Shrek series.

I guess it really is true what they say: It ain’t ogre til it’s ogre.

[moviemunchies]

I was very surprised to find that critics gave this movie mixed reviews, because I thought it was loads of fun?

Bullet Train is a bit like this: a bunch of people from the criminal underworld are on a bullet train to Kyoto, and they duke it out. That’s kind of all you need as a premise (you’ll find out more as the movie goes on).

Or, alternatively: Brad Pitt plays a retrieval agent codenamed ‘Ladybug’ (a joke considering his bad luck) who is hired to grab a suitcase full of cash. He’s not the only one after the suitcase, however, and the two hitmen transporting the case–along with the son of a ruthless mob boss–are not planning to part with it so easily.

Almost all of the major action in the movie takes place within the train itself. This makes the movie itself a bit of an interesting action piece, because the characters are limited in their options. They can’t go anywhere not on the train (at least, not for long) and they can’t use anything except what’s on the train with them. I was worried that it would get old pretty quickly then–a movie where the protagonists are always coming back over and over again to the same locations can be grating. But I didn’t with this film, and it worked for me.

I kept thinking, while watching the film, that  it would be accurate to call it “Chekhov’s Gun: The Movie.” Seriously, if something comes up in any capacity, it will probably come back somewhere later in the film. If you need to explain Chekhov’s Gun as a concept to someone, refer them to this film. It’s a fun part of the movie too, because maybe you can guess where things are going, or you can be completely thrown off guard as to how something comes back to be important.

There is, however, one point where a character survives, and we’re not really given a good explanation other than “fate” and that’s dumb. The chain of Chekhov’s Guns going off makes it incredibly noticeable.

But it remains loads of fun throughout. The characters, despite being mostly assassins, are fun and likable and amusing to watch as they struggle through their missions. I can’t say there are that many funny movies I’ve seen about assassins, but I’m glad to say this is one.

[And there are a number of surprising appearances in the movie that threw me off when they came up. I had a lot of, “Wait, HE/SHE’s in this movie?!” while watching.]

A pretty awkward thing about this movie though is that even though it takes place in Japan, and it’s adapted from a Japanese novel, almost none of the main characters are Japanese, or even Asian, and it’s not like most of them speak Japanese. The Father and the Elder (even characters who are given names are usually referred to by titles supplied by text in the film) are incredibly important characters, so much so that the story actually starts with them. You wouldn’t guess it from the marketing of the movie, which barely features the Elder and I don’t think shows the Father at all.

There was some controversy about whitewashing the story, and rightfully so. The author of the novel apparently had no problem, so maybe we should leave it at that, but at the same time… if the makers of the film were going to change almost all the characters to different ethnicities, wouldn’t it make sense to set it somewhere else? Was there something about the story that necessitated it being on a Japanese bullet train and not any other train?

The answer that I can think of is ‘No, not really.’ It is probably a relic of the story being based off of a Japanese novel, but if you didn’t have that information you may think that it’s just to make the story seem more “exotic” (and we can’t really rule out that idea either). It also smacks of the studios deciding that a movie with an Asian cast wouldn’t appeal to American audiences  And that’s disappointing.

Still, it is a fun movie. We know that movies featuring heavy violence with serious stakes can be funny–Deadpool proved that if nothing else. This movie is much like that in that there’s gruesome violence, but it still manages to be absolutely hilarious. Maybe that disconnect with bother some viewers; it didn’t particularly bother me though. 

I have heard it said that some critics felt like this was too similar to other films in its storytelling, particularly those of Guy Ritchie and Quentin Tarantino. I didn’t get that impression, and I don’t think a lot of audiences did, though I can kind of see the similarity to some Guy Ritchie films with how it plays with time and flashbacks and such.

I would recommend this movie if you’re into violent action movies, especially those that heavily feature humor. I think it’s a bit uncomfortable that they changed the cast ethnicity, and a bit disappointed by the implications of that. But at the same time, it’s a really fun movie, and a very enjoyable viewing experience–one that I expect would be even more rewarding upon re-watching. I’d gladly watch it again.

[stokan]

Every 2022 Film Nominated for an Oscar Ranked

40. Tell It Like a Woman - It’s true, this “movie” actual exists. I’ve seen it with my own eyes, and they haven’t stopped bleeding since. That this collection of sub-student-film level shorts is an absolute embarrassment for everyone involved is besides the point. What I really want you to know about this “movie” is that the Diane Warren song that is the entire reason for this project to exist plays in one of the shorts, then it plays again over the closing credits, then it plays a SECOND time over the closing credits, but then it ends and the credits are still going. And no new songs starts! So you’re just sitting there in the most uncomfortable interminable silence ever because I guess they couldn’t afford a second song (?) and at Academy screenings it’s considered incredibly rude to leave before the credits are done. But thank god you didn’t because then after the credits there is a MUSIC VIDEO FOR THE SONG! And that music video is longer and looks like it cost more than basically all of the shorts you just watched. And part of the music video is Diane Warren directing the music video you're currently watching?? And as a legitimate smile formed on my face while all of this was unfolding, it’s only then that I truly understood Stockholm Syndrome.

39. Blonde - Feels truly wild that this wasn’t the worst movie I saw this year. It’s hard to say if I hated this more than Andrew Dominick hates Marilyn Monroe, but regardless, I can’t imagine ever having a more unpleasant time at the movies than I did watching this three-hour-long Ana de Armas hostage video. Please don’t watch Blonde.

38. Bardo - More like BardNO. If you’re going to make a movie about you feel like you suck as an artist and are unworthy as a person, what you don't want is the end result to make the audience definitely agree with you. But other than the truly gorgeous cinematography, making Inarritu’s self-loathing an ACTUAL loathing is the only other thing this film successfully achieves. Well, that and single-handedly killing the idea of Netflix giving unlimited money to directors to make their passion projects unimpeded. Never thought I would say this, but after watching Bardo - please studios, give directors more notes.

37. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever - “Yeah, but your scientists were so occupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should” - Dr. Ian Malcom, a character who would later appear in Jurassic Park: Dominion.

While watching this movie I kept trying to figure out what on earth the character of RiRi had to do with anything, only to get home and learn that her sole purpose in the movie was to set up a future TV series. At this point buying a ticket for an MCU movie is exactly like Ralphie in A Christmas Story sending off for Annie’s Secret Circle Decoder Ring, only you already know in advance the answer will always just ultimately be “don’t forget to drink your Ovaltine”.

36. EO - I’m sure when they were making this movie they thought “well, if nothing else, at least we’re definitely making the best artsy existential European donkey movie this year.” Nope! 

No human in this movie behaves like an actual human being, every major choice is contrived simply to keep the plot moving forward, and the donkey is the best actor in the cast. Nice try though.

35. Puss in Boots: The Last Wish - When adults don't take animation seriously as an art form and write it off as essentially kids entertainment, this is the exact movie they’re thinking of - brightly colored, turbo-charged drivel, with broad characters, broader jokes, and nothing interesting to say. Not to yuck anyone’s yum, as I’m sure if I was 8 years old I would want all things Puss and Boots mainlined directly into my veins, but as a non-8-year-old, this was very much Not For Me. 

(Also, as a 40 year old man, if you’d like to almost certainly get put on some kind of list then I would really recommend going by yourself, in a heavy coat and sweatpants, to a 9:30pm Friday night screening of a Puss in Boots film.)

34. Navalny - Important story, one truly great scene, and a film that I know a lot of people seem to like, but as a piece of movie making, for me, well...are the kids still saying “mid”? If so, I’m gonna say the thing that I’m sure ALL the kids are saying - a sentence that you can hear as you walk down the halls of any school in America - "Navalny is mid”.

33. The Sea Beast - Less than a month after having seen it, here’s the grand total of what I remember about this movie: there was a sea beast.

32. The Whale - If you want to know why there are many different art forms used to tell stories a great example is that this script works beautifully as a play, and terribly as a movie. Theater and film are different mediums, and what works on stage often seems overwrought and overwritten on film. And as we learn more and more with each passing year, most movies don’t make good plays either. So just let plays be plays and movies be movies. And let whatever exactly Sadie Sink and Samatha Morton are doing in The Whale never be either ever again.

31. Mrs Harris Goes to Paris - A beautiful looking trifle that tastes lovely and sweet but has absolutely no nutritional value because it’s mostly just air. A movie that feels like it should have premiered on British Airways’ in-flight entertainment network, if that can somehow be read as a semi-compliment.

30. Empire of Light - There’s a truly moving and interesting movie in here about the power of film and communal experience. The problem is that there are three other movies in here as well. Still, if you got Colman and you got Deakins, you got something. Just not any more than that though.

28. A House Made of Splinters - This year’s Oscar Doc Mad Libs entry. There’s always at least one nominee where the log line is: verite footage of a woman/group of women operating (an uplifting and important social service) in (country that’s currently in the news for being at war). in this case it’s (orphanage) and (Ukraine). Important story, truly heroic work, and further proof that if you point a camera at kids for long enough you’re always gonna wind up with some profound truths. But I watch a version of this exact movie every single year.

27. Argentina 1985 - Would seem difficult to take something as emotionally compelling as the true-life story of people being disappeared by a South American military dictatorship and make a movie about it that feels as conventional as an extra long Law and Oder episode, but here we are. That’s not to say it isn’t well made, important, and watchable - people love Law and Order! - just that it’s so by the numbers it feels more like a math equation than a film. If you’ve ever seen a movie before, you know where this one is going.

26. Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery - Everything listed before this movie I would not really recommend, and everything after it, at least on some level, I would. And this is the exact mid-point. A perfectly decent movie that I feel absolutely nothing about. See it, or don’t - I can’t imagine a world where I would possibly care one way or the other. it’s simply the blindfolded lady who holds up the scale.

25. The Quiet Girl - It’s hard to totally put my finger on why this movie feels like one that in a few years I’ll almost certainly forget ever having seen, when at the same time there are very stylistically and tonally similar movies much higher on my list, but if I had to try and sum it up, I’d say it’s this: the girl is too quiet.

24. To Leslie - Honestly, is Andrea Riseborough getting nominated for this movie that much different than Laura Dern getting nominated for Rambling Rose or Jessica Lange WINNING for Blue Sky? I have no idea, I’ve never seen those movies. But an actress getting nominated for a micro-budget film no one saw from a tiny distributor isn’t some sort of new scandal, it used to be an annual tradition. Hell, To Leslie is exactly the sort of pleasant feel-good elevated-middle-brow indie that the Oscars were practically built on in the 90s. Although Mark Maron is the least believable Texan in movie history, and the budget definitely shows, and the style is non-existent, as half of Hollywood has at this point tweeted - it’s a small movie with a big heart. And I didn’t even get paid to say that!

23. Living - Why did we need essentially a shot-for-shot remake of Ikiru only set in England instead of Japan? Seriously, who is this for? It feels almost radically, defiantly, inessential. But the performances, especially Bill Nighy, are pretty great. And hey, Ikiru is a classic for a reason. So, whatever. Ultimately it was worth seeing, but this is last time I will ever write about Living again for the rest of my life.

22. Causeway - “Brian Tyree Henry, Oscar Nominee” has nice ring to it. And Jennifer Lawrence - also good at acting. Out of the little run I’m on here of nice but slight character study dramas, this feels like the best of the bunch. That may not be saying a ton, but it’s something, which also feels like a solid summary of this film.

21. All The Beauty And The Bloodshed - Scalding hot take: Nan Golden seems like a bit of a tough hang. Take that’s not hot at all: the Sackler family are evil pieces of shit. And sure, getting you emotionally riled up about their awfulness is sort of a layup, but by combining it with Nan Golden’s incredible life story, tough hang though she may be, this movie 360 windmill dunks it.

20. Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio - Not a del Toro person, never going to be a del Toro person, just not my vibe, and truly baffled as to why he spent his time making the millionth adaptation of a story no one was asking to see remade, but damn if the result isn’t impressive. It may not be my thing, and it’s honestly  unclear who it’s audience exactly is supposed to be, but the level of care and craft on display is undeniably worthy of praise. Indifferent towards the player, but respect the hell out of the game.

19. Fire of Love - It’s almost impossible to watch this movie and not think the whole time about how you’re watching two Wes Anderson characters. Which is fitting because the style of this movie is more notable than the substance. But what stye it is. And although I said it’s somewhat lacking in substance, it does get at one very important and universal truth: don’t go chasing volcanoes.

18. Turning Red - As a massive Pixar fanboy it’s been a while since they’ve had a script that rose to the standards of their glory days, but I think this finally does the trick. The movie is visually a little too frantic and busy for my taste, but I’m also not its target audience, so that’s fine. It has something real and original to say to a demographic that I have aged out of and that’s more than valid. Teen and tween audiences need real art too, and not just pandering dreck. So while maybe this movie wasn’t one of my personal favorites of the year, it feels good to be able to roll up my sleeves and show my #TeamPixar tattoo with pride once again.

17. RRR - There’s a warning before this film that no actual animals were harmed because all the animals are CGI, which is hilarious because there’s no way anyone could possibly think anything in this movie was real, including the human beings. It’s definitely the first massive budget blockbuster action spectacular that also feels like they used non-union actors. Which is fitting because it’s as much video game as it is a movie. I absolutely admire the hell out of the craft, the ambition, originality, and fight choreography on display, but bottom line is that a movie where a guy punches a tiger in the face with a fist that’s on fire is just fundamentally never going to be My Thing. The musical numbers, especially Naatu Naatu, are truly electric though, and if you’re a 16-year-old boy bump this ranking up infinity places.

16. The Batman - This is why we can’t have nice things. You make a superhero movie that feels like it was done by an actual human rather than a committee, with great interesting acting choices, a real visual style, and a distinct dark aesthetic that feels like it enhances the specific story being told rather than the demands of some larger universe, and it makes money, but it leaves no cultural footprint. This coming and going without seeming to leave a mark shows that it’s not the Batman movie we deserved, but it was for sure the one I needed, and it deserved better.

15. Elvis - It’s important to preface this by saying that as a theater kid I’m a Baz Lurhman fan. R&J? Seminal movie of my adolescence and a huge reason I still love Shakespeare today. Moulin Rouge? Own it on a worn-out special edition DVD. The Great Gatsby? Underrated! Australia? Sure! So your milage may understandably vary, and I get that. I totally see all the flaws. But damn if Baz making a movie ABOUT music doesn’t just bypass all my critical facilities and go straight to my pleasure center. Is this movie what cocaine is like? Anyway, it’s not GOOD, but also, for me, it’s great. And if Austin Butler winds up winning the Oscar I’m gonna feel pretty proud of walking out of the theater after seeing Elvis back in the summer and calling my shot

14. All Quiet on the Western Front - I do firmly believe the famous Truffaut quote that there’s no such thing as an anti-war movie. But this is the exception to that rule. Like West Side Story last year, it pulls off the miraculous task of remaking a movie that didn’t need remaking while yet also justifying its own existence. And while it now feels like we’ve officially reached the end point of war movie verisimilitude, what an exclamation point to cap off the journey. It’s truly insane WWI ever happened, and if only we could go back in time and show them this film, it never would have. It’s that powerful.

13. Avatar: The Way of Water - There’s nothing I’m more out on in movies than when one CGI thing is fighting another CGI thing. Yet when the whole movie is CGI things fighting CGI things? Apparently I’m all the way in.

Look the story is dumb, and the dialogue is stilted, and the mythology this world is trying to build feels pretty cringe, but by god is this movie gorgeous to look at and an absolute technical marvel. And the final third of this movie is some of the best action filmmaking I’ve seen in a very long time. James Cameron, incredible stager of action sequences, who knew? Strap on some 3D glasses, see this on an IMAX screen on a Friday night in a crowded theater, and try not to be entertained, I dare you.

12. All That Breathes - I do this insane project of watching every single Oscar nominee every year because without fail it exposes me to one or two or three movies I fall in love with that I wouldn’t have ever seen otherwise. Well that, and also because there’s something wrong with my brain. But most often these wonderful finds are documentaries, for example: Attica, Time, Minding the Gap, and my beloved Honeyland. Much like Honeyland, my find this year, All That Breathes, is about something simple - in this case its two brothers running a Mumbai bird hospital instead of Honeyland’s Macedonian beekeeper - but like with that film, as it slowly reveals itself, it turns out to really be about Everything All At Once. Family, geopolitics, the climate crisis, religion, interconnectedness - truly all that breathes. Great film, and can’t wait to see what subtly beautiful Senegalese goat herder documentary I fall in love with in 2023.

11. Top Gun: Maverick - The platonic ideal of a summer blockbuster. This is not my kind of movie at all, and yet I even I was won over. Resistance is impossible. Picking nits is pointless. Because sure it’s as by the numbers as they come yet, wow is that counting fun. It almost single handedly justifies the concept of just turning your brain off and having a good escapist time at the movies. But most importantly for me, it just makes me feel good about never wavering in one of my deepest held beliefs: Jennifer Connelly is the most attractive human being who has ever lived. 

10. Women Talking - Here’s to truth in advertising. No one who can read titles can say they didn’t know EXACTLY what they walking into with this film. But what great talking it is. And what great women! Although ::poking his head the slightest bit humanly possible out from behind the world’s largest bush:: the one truly transcendent performance in the film for me was Ben Wishaw. But everyone was great really. And fitting that the only great play adaptation of the year wasn’t a play adaptation at all. It was just a true ensemble working together to tell an important story in urgent and poetic language in a purposely claustrophobic setting. It’s a real shame then that this film seems to be evaporating from the collective consciousness before it ever even made its way in, because it’s actually the one thing we should all be doing more of: watching women talking.

9. TAR - As a card carrying elitist film snob it pains me as much to rank TAR this low as it does for you to see it here. And there was a point, maybe about two hours into the movie, where it seemed like it was ending, and I thought to myself “what a masterpiece!”. But the problem is it didn’t end there. It kept going. And the last part of this film, the part that some people online think is supposed to be a dream or whatever, just absolutely does not work for me. And wow oh wow does it feel like the absolute last scene isn’t just beamed in from a totally different movie but from a totally different planet. It’s the exact opposite of sticking the landing. That being said, Todd Field is an actual genius, the dialogue is in a league of its own, and it’s fitting Cate Blanchett is probably not going to win the Oscar because an Oscar feel almost beneath her performance. But still…that last 20 minutes. So please don’t tar me, but #9 it is.

8. Triangle of Sadness - I think all the time about Connor Oberst performing his anti-Bush song “When the President Talks to God” years ago on The Tonight Show. This dense, well-written song with no chorus and no hooks that got what can best be described as polite applause. And I remember thinking, good song, but what is the point of it? It will reach absolutely no one who doesn’t already hate Bush. You know what will? Green Day writing a song literally called “American Idiot” about how the president is, well, an American idiot, but it has a sing-along chorus that kicks ass. And I think about that when people criticize Triangle of Sadness for being too obvious, because you know what - it absolutely kicks ass. 

On paper, sure, people quoting Lenin and Reagan back at each other while rich people throw up on each other on a luxury cruise is embarrassingly on the nose, but in practice, watching it play out on screen in a movie theater full of people, I was laughing so hard I could barely feel my face, let alone my nose. And all the chatter about how this movie makes obvious points about how rich people are bad feels like it comes from people who wrote the movie off half-way thru, because it totally misses the third act, which is the complicated, thorny, and dark heart of the film. (Justice for Dolly de Leon!)

Look, maybe this wasn’t your cup of tea, but anecdotally, talking to people from all areas of my life, especially people younger than me, this is BY FAR the movie from this year that people bring up to me the most. And they always say how its themes were thought-provoking and important and worth watching. And to me that’s proof of my belief that what may on paper come off as obvious, is in fact the year’s catchiest chorus.

7. Babylon - Is it the best movie of the year? No. Would I personally give it my hypothetical Oscar vote? Definitely not. Should it win best picture? Don’t be absurd. But would I give up all my worldly possessions to a join a new religion where we move out to the woods and chant the name Babylon up to the heavens 12 hours a day? Absolutely! 

Babylon is like if one of Stephon’s clubs was a movie - this film has everything: an alligator attack, a guy eating a live mouse, a Jean Smart monologue about existentialism, Margot Robbie projectile vomiting on someone’s face, footage from the 1982 film Tron. It’s as though someone told Damien Chazelle this was going to be the final movie ever made and he somehow, miraculously, aced the assignment. It’s definitely one of the most movie movies ever to movie. It feels weird to not be typing about this movie strictly in all caps. And if you think this movie is majorly flawed, well, sure, probably, but you’re missing the point. MOVIES!!!!

My head knows I cant rank this any higher than #7, but in my heart? Well, what’s a ranking higher than #1? #-100? In my heart this was the -100th best movie of the year.

6. Close - A stunningly beautiful and heartbreaking movie from what feels like a major new voice in Lukas Dhont. A movie that pulls off the magic trick of somehow making you feel deeply sympathetic towards those trapped in the prison of masculinity, rather than angry about the toxicity of it. And speaking of magical - in the year of great child actor performances the two in this movie are the best of them all. Just an absolute gem of a movie. Go see Close.

5. Aftersun - If TAR botched its ending, then Aftersun is the gymnastics judges crossing out their 10s and writing in 11s of sticking your landing. Because, spoiler alert, but the final scene of this movie is maybe the best use of a pre-existing popular song in film history. That sounds like hyperbole, but I was literally shaking with emotion during “Under Pressure”. It’s my new go-to need-a-good-cry YouTube clip. And a quiet film about a childhood experience where nothing much happens and it’s all subtext until finally one incredible scene of intense emotion is so totally my shit that it feels like I excreted it from my own colon. Was it maybe a little TOO quiet in parts? Perhaps. And the framing device didn’t TOTALLY work. But still, Charlotte Wells being able to compete with this film in the best the First Feature category at awards shows feels unfair. It’s so confident and expertly crafted that I feel like she’s a future My Favorite Director just waiting to happen.

4. Everything Everywhere All At Once - Sure you can make the argument it’s a hat on an infinite number of hats, but HOLY SHIT LOOK AT ALL THOSE FUCKING HATS!!!! The inventiveness, originality, and utter chaos on display in a movie that’s about to win Best Picture is truly mind-blowing. It’s like a Jackson Pollock of ideas. When they say they don’t make em like that anymore, this is the exact opposite of what they’re talking about.

3. The Banshees of Inisherin - Barry Keoghan might be my favorite actor working today, Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson are the new dysfunctional Hepburn and Tracy, and Kerry Condon should win all the Oscars. But for me this movie is all about the script. That fecking script. Laugh out loud funny, endlessly quotable, and utterly heartbreaking. I mean, Martin McDonagh - good at writing things, who knew? Plays shouldn’t be movies, but maybe more movies should be by writers of plays.

2. Marcel the Shell With Shoes On - I want to have a genetic mutation causing me to have more thumbs just so I can give this more than two thumbs up. This movie is a miracle. How did a super twee one-joke YouTube short become the most moving and heartfelt mediation on family and connection and existentialism I’ve seen in a long time? It still doesn’t seem possible and yet I’ve seen it with my own tear-stained eyes. I can’t compare it to any movie I’ve ever seen before and I can’t imagine anything quite like it will ever come along again. And most miraculous of all, if it moves even a slight inch in any other direction it becomes cloying, or sappy, or obvious, or any multitude of other sins, yet it’s in such total control of its tone it’s like watching Lydia Tar conduct a tone orchestra. And finally, if the scene where Marcel finally finds his family didn’t totally turn you into a sobbing mess than you yourself might be a shell, or at least have one for a heart. I cried, I laughed uproariously, and I fell in love with an animated shell with shoes on - what more could you possibly want out of a film?

1. The Fabelmans - Is this the movie that I feel most passionate about from 2022? No. Read what I had to say about most of the past 10 entries for proof. I’m honestly surprised to see this here, and I’m the one making the list. But here’s the thing: my favorite film of 2017 was Lady Bird. Of 2018 was Eighth Grade. Of 2019 was Little Women. I’m nothing if not consistent in my total love of and weakness for a coming of age story. We all have our things. And one this well shot, and scored, and written, and acted, and DIRECTED - I dunno what to tell you. This was the movie that best combined quality of filmmaking with emotional connection for me personally. It had the most scenes I loved, the most performances I enjoyed, the most shots I marveled at. It seems like it wasn’t for everyone, and as the years pass I have a feeling this ranking might change, but for right now, thinking back on the year in film, I have a hot take to end things on: Steven Spielberg knows how to fucking make a great movie.

SHORTS

My Year of Dicks (animated)

Ice Merchants (animated)

The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse (animated)

Haulout (doc)

An Ostrich Told Me The World Is Fake And I Think I Believe It (animated)

The Elephant Whisperers (doc)

How Do You Measure A Year? (doc)

The Red Suitcase (live action)

The Flying Sailor (animated)

Le Pupille (live action)

An Irish Goodbye (live action)

The Martha Mitchell Effect (doc)

Ivalu (live action)

Stranger at the Gate (doc)

Night Ride (live action)