#in a tone and character building way
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yall were right hxh 1999 is even better than 2011
#it moves at a slower pace but like not in a Bad Shounen way#in a tone and character building way#that added arc in the hunter exam where they have to escape the island before the storm kills them?? brilliant#it feels like it should be filler but it’s actually so big for kurapika and so many other minor characters?! and ponzu/pokkle cuteness?!!#also yeah kurapika and leorio feel so much gayer ngl. i can’t even point to any specific changes i just know it#gon…… gon my friend gon…… he’s one of my favorite characters ever honestly#rewatching hunter exam with the hindsight of having seen chimera ant arc is. crazy.#so many seeds planted of neuroticisms and obsessions and flaws for gon#it’s crazy that the manga was only on yorknew with this show started because the foreshadowing is fucking crazy#like i remember being like ‘okay but there is something actually wrong with this child’ on my first watch but like. holy shit.#also hisoka’s nen being described as like.. pure unadulterated bloodlust. because they have no explaination for it otherwise#and just in general his presentation oh my god… literally gave me chills i fucking hate him !!!!!!!! (lying unfortunately)#but yeah. crazy how truly offputting and unhinged gon comes across as from the very beginning everything makes sense#like i already Knew That but like on a rewatch it’s mindblowing really what an incredible character he is#hxh#frogs.txt
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One of my favorite parts of phase 2 (and indeed one of the few moments I resonated with IDW Prowl) was when the neutrals were coming back to Cybertron and Prowl said that he refused to let Autobots be pushed aside and overruled after they were the ones who fought for freedom for 4 million years (the exact wording escapes me atm).
And I mean, that resentment still holds true even once the colonists come on bc like. As much as it's true that Cybertron's culture is fucked up, and as funny as it can be to paint Cybertronians as a bunch of weirdos who consider trying to kill someone as a common greeting not important enough to hold a grudge over.... The colonists POV kind of pissed me off a lot of times, as did the narrative tone/implications that Cybertronians are forever warlike and doomed to die by their own hands bc it just strikes me as an extremely judgemental and unsympathetic way to deal with a huge group of people with massive war PTSD and political/social tensions that were rampant even before the war?
Like, imagine living in a society rife with bigotry and discrimination where you get locked into certain occupations and social strata based on how you were born. The political tension is so bad there's a string of assassinations of politicians and leaders. The whole planet erupts into an outright war that leads (even unintentionally) to famine and chemical/biological warfare that destroys your planet. Both sides of the war are so entrenched in their pre-war sides and resentment for each other that this war lasts 4 million years and you don't even have a home planet any more. Then your home planet gets restored and a bunch of sheltered fucks come home and go "ewww why are you so violent?? You're a bunch of freaks just go live in the wilderness so that our home can belong to The Pure People Who Weren't Stupid And Evil Enough To Be Trapped In War" and then a bunch of colonists from places that know nothing about your history go "lol you people are so weird?? 🤣🤣 I don't get why y'all are fighting can't you just like, stop??? Oh okay you people are just fucked up and evil and stupid then" ((their planets are based on colonialism where their Primes wiped out the native populations btw whereas the Autobots and OP in particular fought to save organics. But that never gets brought up as a point in their favor)) as if the damage of a lifetime of war and a society that was broken even before the war can just magically go away now that the war is over.
Prowl fucking sucks but he was basically the only person that pointed out the injustice of that.
And then from then on out most of the characters from other colonies like Caminus and wherever else are going "i fucking hate you and your conflicts" w/ people like literal-nobody Slide and various Camiens getting to just sit there lecturing Optimus about how Cybertronians are too violent for their own good and how their conflicts are stupid, with only brief sympathetic moments where the Cybertronians get to be recognized as their own ppl who deserve sympathy before going right back to being lambasted.
Like I literally struggled to enjoy the story at multiple points because there was only so much I could take of the characters I knew and loved being raked over coals constantly while barely getting to defend themselves or be defended by the narrative so like. It was just fucking depressing and a little infuriating to read exRID/OP
#squiggposting#and like dont get me wrong barber wasnt trying to make cybertronians the bad guys or whatever#it's just a problem with his writing where like. he has A Message he wants to send#and so he uses the entire story literally just for The Message even if it involves bullshit plotlines#or familiar characters ppl were reading about for the past decade being shit on by OCs made up to fill a new roster#like barber's writing tends to lean way too much on a sort of lecturing tone#without giving proper care towards including moments where characters get to like. fucking express themselves and share their side#sort of like how barber couldnt be bothered to write pyra magna and optimus actually talking to each other during exrid#and instead during OP ongoing pyra is suddenly screaming about how OP is unteachable#even tho she never even tried to teach him bc she and OP never interacted bc i guess barber couldnt be bothered#he just needed someone to lecture OP so fuck making the story make sense or like letting OP get to say anything in defense#this is the infuriating part of barber's writing bc i think he has incredible IDEAS and was in charge of the lore i was most interested in#but most of the time his execution sucks and he's basically just mid with a few brilliant moments occasionally#or like he has a message about the cycle of violence he wants to convey#but his narrative choices trying to convey that theme made his story come off as super unsympathetic to the ppl who suffered#to the point where barber actively kneecapped some scenes that couldve been super fucking intense and emotional#in favor of the characters lecturing each other or some stupid plot to criticize OP#that time in unicron where windblade screamed about how this is their fault and then arcee replied that her planet is build on coloniation#shouldve happened more often than literally the last series of the ocntinuity. like goddamn stfu about your moral superiority#when your own sins are right fhere lol
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Atla live action 😐
#thats my honest reaction 😐#to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid#like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat#or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already#good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive#to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil#i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better#but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because#it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak#and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but#come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and#makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality#i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was#IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys'#and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall#AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think#plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS#a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason#im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your#audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small#thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small#its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers#i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang#anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and#rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz#netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub#no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same#ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me#i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing#yapping
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I don’t even fully know why but “what do I do when I miss you so much?” / “Just wait, and pray desperately” was a knife to my heart in the best way.
#crash landing on you#my grandma once said most of life was waiting and praying#and when he said it it just resonated so deeply#I think because. it’s not like a revelation or anything#but I think it’s just because she was suffering so much and had suffered so much#and so in that moment#he just takes care of her so completely and gives her hope. and not a false hope#a true one#and on deeper reflection the ending does work within the context of this (in my opinion) most powerful scene#/ apex of the show#it’s just the tone that’s a little wrong. that’s too aesthetic-y.#because the kind of steady way he keeps taking care of her from afar. and the slow build of her recovering but continuing to hope#couldn’t lead them anywhere except a happy ending. even if the final pieces of it couldn’t be unraveled (or put together)#by the show’s writing. so it just kind of has to fade to black so to speak#because the characters have been so steady and consistent a) in their personalities motivations and desires#and b) in their love for each other! that never falters or betrays a false note#and it’s the truest thing you’re left with. which is why—again—I actually think the problem might have been the tone#I would have gone for something more muted. I would have had them be talking and/or arguing a little more in their old way#to keep and sustain the idea that there is more work ahead for them that we’re just not going to see#but that is ultimately a kind of nitpick. and the take me to the lakes vibe of that final#scene is also not untrue.#also circling back for a second can I just SAY. that I love the balance of their vulnerabilities#there are such clear and distinct times where one of them is stronger and the other more vulnerable#and it’s sooooo perfect to watch and gives you many instant layers#anyway I’m crying in this Chili’s tonight (*my bed at 7:00 am)
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“It wasn’t really Namor’s fault that Ramonda died” IT WAS. IT WAS. WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO TAKE THIS AWAY? I’M SORRY IF YOU CAN’T STOMACH NAMOR NOT BEING PERFECT BUT PLEASE STOP. For fucks sake, it was by HIS HAND the queen died! Yeah there were outside factors pushing Wakanda and Talokan towards conflict but stop trying to erase the fact he has and would kill people!
#i hate you mcu fandom i hate your stupid namor is a symbol for a wet dick bc he is a serpent and serpents are one eyed snake symbols#i hate your stupid apologism for actions that were clearly done in character just bc you wanna ship the main leads#i hate your hades and persephone attachment to this or making namor the beast to shuri's beauty#i hate every single time you compare namor to mcu wendy and i hate when namor/shuri is compared to reylo#i hate your x reader fics where namor is used as a dick on legs and constantly sexualized for the white fans in the grossest way#i hate your cold as fuck takes on my beloved characters that makes me want to spit in disgust!!!#I am slamming the doors on fandom and locking it behind me because I do not want to interact with any mcu namor fans who act this way#rant has been building up slowly these last few months i just hate that my once fun space is filled with absolutely tone deaf morons#anti mcu fandom
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riot finally showed material of isha so;
heres to hoping that isha dies by the end of the season :)
#like it would help build the climax but i truly dont thhink her as a character or her death is necessary for jinx at all#anyone who watched the leaks knows isha is nothing but an annoying distraction who takes up valuable screen time#and detracts away from the dozen extreme climatic plot points.#i do not give a shit about this obnoxious snot nose brat#i do not want to watch her have a fucking bug race. i want to watch the actual plot.#arcane leaks#arcane spoilers#judging by the tone of 'isha's song' it tells me she probably will be dying at the end#bc it has a sad melody and the singer is giving sad visuals#jinx is fucking insane and has been her entire life. her losing silco made her all the way batshit. her interactions with isha completely#remove her from her mental break--to the point she doesnt even act like the same character--and theres no need to add anoter push to dri#her deeper.#again. she was off the fucking deep end over silco. vi is working with caitlyn; is an enforcer; and is attacking the undercity trying to#weed jinx out. thats more than enough reason for jinx to be pushed even further beyond#dont need to throw in this character no one knows or gives a shit about#when we only have NINE EPISODES and so many loose ends that need to be tied up.
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I know you, a little to the left (Patreon)
#Doodles#Damned#Osmosis Jones#Ozzy#Drix#Leah Estrogen#I mean ''Anna Westbrook'' totally 100%#More of my favourites! Another! Is characters who Should Know that Do Not :)#And it's all over the Institute and it's so angstily perfect ah <3 ''I know you but you're not the One I know'' ow <3#Makes any kind of close relationship extra painful imo :) I'm still tossing around a DAX/ZEX idea in that vein too#Although I also really like that they're each other's ah <3 Both is good! I like both!!#But here we've got Ozzy from Osmosis Jones and Drix from Ozzy & Drix ♪ They're absolutely a couple lbh#They're the only two of a kind who have such a shared history! Oz's flirting gets toned way down in the show too#Not gonna stop me from shipping him with everyone - my favourites are the bicycles this is known lol#But the concept of this Oz being from before he and Drix got together while this Drix is dating his Ozzy ahh#Still in love with him! Smitten silly! How would Oz react! It's fun to think about :)#And then the opposite side of things from Oz's perspective dealing with a Leah who is Almost what he remembers but not quite!#Gods I love the visitor concept it is so rich for pain and longing and self-doubt and just agh!! What an excellent game element!!!#The genuine concern and frustration that comes with being so convinced of something on both sides!! Yes yes yes#I've very much been building Anna and Chris' relationship up in the background radiation of ideas hwah#Dangerously inspirational how could you do this to me <3
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I wonder if my high school biology teacher would regret showing me how to make charts of how plant color genetics are inherited through generations and how different color genes may interact if he knew I'd end up using it with fictional characters instead
#I have charts for hair skin and eye color and (more than anything else) magic types for up to 20 generations with some characters#also: family trees. I have way too many charts of how everyone is related#and the worst part of it is when I have to match the two.#I need to know where the two required genetic traits for making water freeze are from and whether or not they're connected to eye color#currently tracking how many characters in one kingdom have the rare affinity for fire magic and that's connected to eye color#like it doesn't directly determine eye color but it affects the undertone#your eyes can be green or purple or grey or brown or yellow with it depending on what else is going on#but the gene needs to be there and affecting eye color for you to have fire affinity#anyway the charts are useful for when I need to draw because I have easy access to starter tones#I can just build the lighting on top of those
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oh btw i get even more why brennan (like me) clocked sophomore year fabian as fucked up and sad even if some of the other pcs were like "what are you talking about dude" . it's because the basic core theses of fabian and leiland eftbk as characters are actually pretty similar
#AND matt mercer was like 'yes absolutely. my character has so many issues' meanwhile b4 lou could even say anything siobhan/adaine#went 'fabian isnt depressed his life rules.'#which like. 1) deeply incorrect statement. 2) fairly in character for adaine to say. 3) unfortunately this caused#a pretty big shift in tone w regards to how seriously fabian's arc ended up being executed#2.5) i could write a whole other post on how point 2 could be a super interesting thing to explore w adaine#she starts off so aware of there being no love from her parents towards her. so she sees love between a parent and a child#and cant conceptualize their relationship being ultimately harmful. like she learned long ago that there was no point seeking approval from#her parents meanwhile fabian made it his whole entire life's goal to do just that thing. both of them are fucked up in opposite directions.#crunchy concept yet very unexplored. and i'm not expecting this to happen in a potential s3 im just throwing ideas around like basebal#d20#eftbk#fantasy high#sorry wrote all those tags then forgot to elaborate on how fabian and leiland are similar anyway it's this whole idea of#having this unhealthy dependency on the approval of someone you admire to the ends of the earth despite them being#fully and clearly a toxic influence on you. The whole illusion of inflated self worth howthat all crumbles when you Realize how fragile you#whole entire worldview was. and THEN you have an embarrassing breakdown in front of ur friends#and this is SO terrifying because you have really tried your best to look really cool and put-together in front of them#it's the 'getting knocked down SO hard and having to build yourself up by recognizing the love from your friends#+finding something completely different from the person you hinged your entire being on in order to find your way to the surface' of it all#also galfast/whitclaw are surprisingly similar narrative wise it's so funny to me. th storytelling series of nat 1s against an op enemy </3#i think it WAS easier to execute leiland's character arc in the way it was bc a) he was played to be so CLEARLY insecure from minute 1#and b) it is very easy to condemn ripoff sauron and say 'yeah this guy sucked and we're glad that leiland and maggie are free from him'#meanwhile for fabian. a) he has convinced himself that nothing is wrong with him even though there so clearly is#and b) you have to acknowledge that bill loved his son so deeply yet was such a bad influence on him#it's such a bittersweet-bitter complexity and i imagine it would be super hard to pull off esp when bill and fabian's dynamic is#played as fairly comedic most of the time. in this vein of 'this evil guy is so evil but he cares about his son this hard and it's funny'#and also just the fact this kind of bitter complicated parent-child dynamic is very rarely portrayed and pulled off well.#WHY the fuck are these tags so long if you read all this i'm so sorry
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oshi no ko is fucking insane like you start it and from the first few pages you think itll be this cute if kinda tasteless story about an idol getting pregnant and her doctor being a fanboy who helps cloak her identity and deliver her kids and its all cute and nice and then the doctor gets bludgeoned by a stalker and reincarnated into the idols baby and his twin is also a reincarnated stan so now the story is about babies doing stan stuff but also going into how toxic the entertainment industry is and how stans interact with idols and how they are treated online but its actually still a pleasant little story and you get used to the wild ass premise and then the idol gets stabbed to death by that stalker and now its a revenge killing story
#hi i read onk’s manga and then ep 1 of the anime and my brain is swimming#honestly aside from some creepy jokes i really like it and want to continue with it. its weird and fucked up but i like it#also i like reincarnation stories theyre fun#idk whether i wanna continue the anime or manga tho. cause animes more accessible to me at the moment#bc i dont have the rest of the manga. buuuut i kinda prefer the manga. anime has some great stylization#and the character designs pop a lot better in animation#but i dont like the dub im watching very much and im sad they cut out the interviews in between chapters#they made the story feel like a documentary almost and it was a good subtle way to build tension until the tone shift#echoed voice
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how would you describe your writing style? what do you like about it? — @milkstore
LOL. You know I've been seeing this question around and wondered how I would answer it. But you actually asked me. 😂
I'm having a hard time thinking about this because I've been thinking about how I want to improve. Like... I think the things I think I'm good at isn't really a style? Maybe? Like plotting and character building isn't really a writing style? Idk lol.
I'd say my writing is concise and not a lot of fluff. Like if I'm skimming paragraphs in my own story while rereading, I edit it out. And I like my flow and pacing (unless I get lazy and get tired of editting lol)
I also think I've gotten better seamlessly weaving a character's backstory throughout a fic. Apparently one author's advice is to figure out the backstory, put in a drawer, then don't look at it again. lol. I don't go to that extreme but I understood the idea behind it. And I feel like how I structure my fics is influenced by Korean dramas and webtoons lollll. At least for the longer ones. Like giving hints to a character's backstory and then revealing the full picture just before the climax of the story lol. Also having fluff at the beginning of the story before getting to the angst.
#you didn't ask this but I think I can improve on describing settings#I think the reason why I struggle is because I don't take the time to build the setting in my head#like I do with characters#but in fanfiction you don't have to do it as much#because there are familiar settings you can use#and the reader would be bored with me explaining what they already know#unless I describe it in a not boring way#idk I could always improve my prose lol#but it also depends on the type of fic I'm writing#and the kind of tone I'm going for#because I like to keep my fics light-hearted and fun#angst is harder because I need more concentration for that#because you know that would be difficult for me to do sometimes lol knowing my life :P#okay I'm rambling again ahahaha#mimi answers#milkstore#was this even coherent? lol
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johnny storm should be a twink and i will die on that hill
#of All the characters he is the one whose powers explicitly remove the need to be jacked#he should not be built like spider-man! he should not have an acrobat's tree trunk neck!#one of the major facets of his powers since at LEAST the 70s is that he can make anything he touches lighter than air#there's a whole scene where he explains that 😭 it's not like he's a body builder like wyatt#i do think he would love hot yoga and pilates though and probably is pretty in shape and even defined but not... buff#like he's strong because he doesn't always need or want to lighten things and works with cars.#but also he's not like a super shredded musclehead... defined toned but not a brick shithouse. soft muscle etc.#also trying to make him so is just boring imo it introduces a complete lack of variation and frankly is very Gender Essentialism Bullshit#i know no one wants to draw fat people but the inability to even draw someone who isn't stacked is so boring and repetitive#also short king but that's mostly personal headcanon#also cause of 2003 solo where he insists (in an offended way) that he's definitely totally Tall 😂#nadia reads comics#my ideal build for him is like... stocky and soft but solid... still working on drawing that how i imagine it...#me and kita were taking about comic art same-face same-body same-everything syndrome lol#peter is a masc wolf/hunk tho
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Iron Man (1968) #131
#dang hard tone shift- the Hulk was being cute a second ago ☹️#so Bruce has expressed suicidal feelings a couple of times before but I don’t believe he’s ever asked someone else to kill him#I think it’s that he’s been shown contemplating suicide two or three times but then worked it out and decided against it on his own#and that was never a long drawn out thing that took up a lot of a story#so I do hope that this is explored in depth here with Tony confronting Bruce about what he said and not just not acknowledging it#the way that Tony’s previous feelings towards Bruce are being portrayed here#‘I’ve never thought of a Hulk as being a man before- let alone a tortured man.’#‘Maybe it’s time I stopped fighting the Hulk��� and tried to help him.’#is in no way building off of their previous encounters#the most notable of which being the brief period of time that the Hulk was on the Avengers team#during which time I believe Tony expressed both sympathetic and standard negative feelings towards the Hulk#and when Iron Man testified at the Hulk’s trial in opposition to giving him the death penalty#on the basis that it would be wrong to kill Bruce because of what he could contribute with his scientific mind#but it’s ok#I don’t think that this story is necessarily beholden to that history#like I think it would be actually awkward if it tried to frame the character’s perspective within the context of those stories#because of how long ago they were#not that it couldn’t be done well#but it could be unnecessarily limiting when this story could just move forward as it’s doing now#we shall see how the rest of the story handles what little history they have#also I like that Tony puts Bruce in his own bed and sleeps in a guest room#marvel#tony stark#bruce banner#my posts#comic panels
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Each time I have to read " b-but Origins was so unserious and cheery too, because Alistair cracked a joke here and there" I want to stab myself with a rusty fork. Because holy hell the lack of media literacy displayed and not understanding what makes a story work in a coherent way/tone and why, makes me wanna not being able to see/read any longer 💀
also people defending datv’s tonal shift by saying it was actually ☝️ a return to dark fantasy news flash you can’t just slap scary elements onto a setting and call it dark fantasy. that’s not what it MEANS it’s the sociopolitical connotations it’s the bleakness of the setting it’s the outlook of the characters
#spoiler alert:#it is the balance between tragedy darkness with light and levity#to give your characters room to breathe and digest whatever heaviness they just have witnessed and experienced#and as such also for your reader/player#like it is not rocket science#just coherent structural building of a plot and tone with using different beats for that to not overwhelm the story in one way or the other#the key word is nuance It is NUANCE and all the things in between really this simple#but veilguard is nothing but forced friendship is magic moments with HR in the room and a dissonant tone for the gravity of the events#disney pixar movie energy of the blandest most surface level#oh gosh i am ranting about writing instead of actually writing welp#datv critical#veilguard critical
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10 Ways to Add Sizzle to Your Boring Writing
Writing that sizzles captures the reader's attention and keeps them engaged from start to finish. Whether you're an experienced writer or just starting out, there are several techniques you can use to make your writing more exciting and dynamic. Here are ten detailed ways to add sizzle to your boring writing:
1. Use Vivid Descriptions
Vivid descriptions bring your writing to life by creating a rich, immersive experience for the reader. Instead of relying on generic or bland language, use specific details that appeal to the senses. Describe how things look, sound, smell, taste, and feel to paint a vivid picture.
In Detail:
Visual Descriptions: Use color, shape, and size to create a mental image. Instead of saying "The car was old," say "The rusty, olive-green car wheezed as it pulled into the driveway."
Sound Descriptions: Incorporate onomatopoeia and detailed sound descriptions. Instead of "The music was loud," say "The bass thumped, and the high notes pierced through the night air."
Smell and Taste Descriptions: Use sensory language. Instead of "The food was good," say "The aroma of roasted garlic and herbs filled the room, and the first bite was a burst of savory flavors."
2. Show, Don't Tell
"Show, don't tell" is a fundamental writing principle that means revealing information through actions, thoughts, dialogue, and sensory details rather than straightforward exposition. This approach makes your writing more engaging and allows readers to experience the story.
In Detail:
Actions Over Exposition: Instead of telling the reader "Jane was scared," show her fear through her actions: "Jane's hands trembled as she fumbled with the lock, her breath coming in shallow gasps."
Dialogue: Use conversations to reveal character traits and emotions. Instead of "John was angry," show his anger through his words and tone: "John's voice was a low growl as he said, 'I can't believe you did this.'"
Internal Thoughts: Reveal characters' inner worlds. Instead of "Emma felt relieved," show her relief: "Emma let out a long breath she didn't realize she was holding and sank into the chair, a smile tugging at her lips."
3. Create Relatable Characters
Relatable characters are crucial for keeping readers invested in your story. Characters should have depth, including strengths, weaknesses, desires, and fears. When readers see aspects of themselves in your characters, they're more likely to care about their journeys.
In Detail:
Character Flaws: Give your characters realistic flaws. A perfect character can be boring and unrelatable. Show how these flaws impact their decisions and relationships.
Character Arcs: Ensure your characters grow and change throughout the story. A well-crafted character arc can turn a good story into a great one.
Background and Motivations: Provide backstories and motivations. Why does your character act the way they do? What drives them? This adds depth and makes them more three-dimensional.
4. Add Dialogue
Dialogue can break up large blocks of text and make your writing more dynamic. It reveals character, advances the plot, and provides opportunities for conflict and resolution. Ensure your dialogue sounds natural and serves a purpose.
In Detail:
Natural Speech: Write dialogue that sounds like real conversation, complete with interruptions, pauses, and colloquial language. Avoid overly formal or stilted speech.
Purposeful Dialogue: Every line of dialogue should have a purpose, whether it's revealing character, advancing the plot, or building tension. Avoid filler conversations that don't add to the story.
Subtext: Use subtext to add depth. Characters might say one thing but mean another, revealing their true feelings through what they don't say directly.
5. Use Strong Verbs
Strong verbs make your writing more vivid and energetic. They convey action and emotion effectively, making your sentences more powerful and engaging.
In Detail:
Action Verbs: Choose verbs that show precise actions. Instead of "She went to the store," say "She dashed to the store."
Avoid Weak Verbs: Replace weak verbs and verb phrases with stronger alternatives. Instead of "He was walking," say "He strode."
Emotionally Charged Verbs: Use verbs that convey specific emotions. Instead of "She was sad," say "She wept."
6. Vary Sentence Structure
Varying sentence structure keeps your writing interesting and prevents it from becoming monotonous. Mix short, punchy sentences with longer, more complex ones to create a rhythm that engages readers.
In Detail:
Short Sentences for Impact: Use short sentences to create tension, urgency, or emphasize a point. "He stopped. Listened. Nothing."
Complex Sentences for Detail: Use longer sentences to provide detailed descriptions or explain complex ideas. "As the sun set behind the mountains, the sky transformed into a canvas of oranges, pinks, and purples, casting a warm glow over the serene landscape."
Combine Different Structures: Mix simple, compound, and complex sentences to maintain a natural flow. Avoid repetitive patterns that can make your writing feel flat.
7. Introduce Conflict
Conflict is the driving force of any story. It creates tension and keeps readers invested in the outcome. Without conflict, your story can become stagnant and uninteresting.
In Detail:
Internal Conflict: Characters should struggle with internal dilemmas, fears, and desires. This adds depth and relatability.
External Conflict: Introduce obstacles and challenges that characters must overcome. This can be other characters, societal pressures, or natural forces.
Resolution: Show how conflicts are resolved, leading to character growth and plot progression. Ensure resolutions feel earned and satisfying.
8. Use Metaphors and Similes
Metaphors and similes add creativity and depth to your writing. They help readers understand complex ideas and emotions by comparing them to familiar experiences.
In Detail:
Metaphors: Directly state that one thing is another to highlight similarities. "Time is a thief."
Similes: Use "like" or "as" to make comparisons. "Her smile was like sunshine on a rainy day."
Avoid Clichés: Create original comparisons rather than relying on overused phrases. Instead of "busy as a bee," find a fresh analogy.
9. Create Suspense
Suspense keeps readers on the edge of their seats, eager to find out what happens next. Use foreshadowing, cliffhangers, and unanswered questions to build tension and anticipation.
In Detail:
Foreshadowing: Drop subtle hints about future events. This creates anticipation and a sense of inevitability.
Cliffhangers: End chapters or sections with unresolved tension or unanswered questions to compel readers to keep going.
Pacing: Control the pace of your story to build suspense. Slow down for crucial moments and speed up during action scenes.
10. Edit Ruthlessly
Great writing often emerges during the editing process. Be willing to cut unnecessary words, tighten your prose, and refine your sentences. Editing improves clarity, pace, and overall readability.
In Detail:
Cut Redundancies: Remove unnecessary words and repetitive phrases. "In my opinion, I think" can be reduced to "I think."
Focus on Clarity: Ensure each sentence conveys its intended meaning clearly and concisely.
Proofread: Check for grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors. A polished manuscript reflects professionalism and attention to detail.
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THAT'S A RED FLAG BABY
JJK MEN AND RED FLAGS
A/n: Yessirrrr MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Synopsis: Jujutsu men and their red flag in a relationship or generally and how it shows through when they fuck
Characters: Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Yuuta Okkatsu, Sukuna Ryomen, Choso
Warnings: Emotional abuse, narcissism, controlling behavior, dub-con, semi-public sex, spitting, fingering, rough sex, male masturbation, degrading, praise, teasing
~
Gojo Satoru- Narcissist
Since he was a kid, Gojo has been praised and called many things
The honored one, the strongest, gifted and so on
But what people don't see is behind those beautiful sapphire eyes, is a goddamn narcissist through and through
He thinks, no he knows that he is the best, best at everything
This includes what goes on in bed.
And its not only that, the white-haired fox only cares about himself too in the sheets, abusing his unnatural stamina and using you like a cock sleeve for his own taste
At least he can be nice about it sometimes
Gojo is relentless. Its almost like your his personal cock sleeve, his dick shaping your insides and abusing your cervix despite your choked sobs and whines for him to stop, to simply slow down. He holds the back of your head with his hand, allowing you to look down at the way you two are connected; how he retracts his hips until his tip barely pokes out, admiring the slick coating his shaft before slamming back into you again.
"Ahhh~ P-please Satoru please...."
Gojo rolls his eyes and scoffs. Why were the people that surrounded him always so weak? Even you. It's a good thing you feel like heaven he could almost forgive you.
Tears stream down your face. Every time the tip of his dick rams against your cervix a powerful feeling mixed with pain and pleasure that surges through your body making you tremble and shake. You're losing your mind. Everything is so good, and, God, you can't ignore how handsome Gojo looks right now. His white hair is sticking to his sweaty forehead, and the muscles of his toned abdomen are flexing and unflexing. He is gorgeous, and, boy, he knows it. Even the way your pussy squeezes and spasms around his dick sends more bolts of electric pleasure to dance through your skim.
"Shhhh, just take it 'kay? You're doing so good for me baby." Gojo coos.
Geto Suguru -Controlling
It starts off small, a comment here and there on your choice of friends, a small criticism on where you were going to spend the evening because wouldn't you have much more fun spending it with him?
Then he's starting to pick out outfits for you. Modest but pretty ones for outside but short skimpy clothes for when you're only with him. It even gets to the point where he is controlling your finances, making you only use his credit card, and its not about the money, you can use as much as you want for all he cares. It's about the control, you being helplessly reliant on him.
And Geto has such an easy time getting away with his controlling tendencies, showering you in praises and sweet nothings about how he just wants to protect you. And the way his violet eyes gleam at you, you almost always believe him.
Don't for a second think that he's insecure because it's far from it. The raven-haired man just wants to have you all to himself, he just wants to protect you from the cruel cruel world out there.
"Didn't I tell you to ask me first if you are going to wear an outfit like that?" Geto whispers in your ear but you can barely focus on his words. The curl of his fingers inside you is just too numbing; the way it hits, prods, and massages a spot deep inside your walls that you can only dream about reaching on your own. Geto's fingers are so thick too, almost filling you up as deliciously as his dick does. Almost. "Mmm- I- I, I didn't-" You gasp for air and try to bury your face into your hands. He currently has you against a wall of some bathroom stall but that fact seemed all but lost to you right now. The pleasure was building in your core and fast. Your legs were starting to shake and a numbing electric feeling had taken course throughout your body. You didn't have to open your eyes to know that Geto was smirking.
Suddenly, Goto curls his fingers in a way that deeply presses your g-spot and the dam of pleasure that had built inside you breaks. Your jaw goes slack and your whole body trembles with electricity.
"Didn't expect for you to crack so easily" he chuckles against your ear, and you collapse into his chest. Yuta Okkatsu- Too obsessed
You would think this is a good thing right? You could never love someone too much, but it was different with Yuuta
Sure you had a crush on him, sure you touched yourself to him plenty of times (which Yuuta knew of very well) so the feelings weren't all that unreciprocated
But theres a line, there's a line that Yuta always seems to cross
From taking pictures of you to texting you constantly, christ you even found your panties in his drawer, yuta love was overwhelming.
Yuuta knows that he should wake you up, but he cant bring himself too right now. You just look so beautiful, so perfect under the soft glow of the night sky. Also, he just feels so good right now, Yuuta can barely think so much as speak. "Mmmm-mmm" he whimpers against the pillow, slowly grinding his clothed erection against your bare leg. How would you react if you knew your boyfriend was humping you while you sleep? Would you push him away? No no you're too kind for that, you would probably help him, probably pet his hair and whisper sweet nothings until he finished. Yes, if he knew for a fact that you'd help him when you wake up, what's stopping you from helping you now? Careful not to wake you up, he picks up your hand. It's so small compared to his but wraps so well around his throbbing member. He glides your thumb across his red tip to collect the precum before slowly sliding your hand up and down. The pleasure is immediate. It makes him bury his face into your neck to to press sloppy, wet, hot, and bitten kisses along your skin.
Sukuna Ryomen- Sadist
Where to start with Sukuna. Sukuna is the red flag.
Actually, even that is a complete understatement. Sukuna is straight-up cruel, rather he is a sadist through and through.
Manipulation, degrading, humiliation....although he wouldn't physically abuse you, with emotional abuse he won't hesitate.
You expect compassion, sympathy, and kindness from him? Fat chance. It is hard to see Sukuna being in any relationship at all.
Sukuna certainly doesn't love you, but he sure does love the sex though
Like any good sadist, his sexual pleasure derives from your physical or emotional suffering.
"Aw look at you, fucked you dumb did I?" Sukuna chuckles. A tattooed hand snakes between to your cunt, lightly rubbing your clit before delivering a sharp slap to the nerve.
Your eyes widen and your hips instantly buck up, unintentionally sending his dick deeper into you. The position he has you in is brutal. Both of your legs are thrown over Sukuna's shoulders and pressed against your chest, effectively folding you in half. "Open ya mouth" He orders, but you are too lost in the pleasure that is blooming in your stomach, the pleasure that is making your cunt flutter and squeeze desperately around his fat cock. "I said open." Sukuna delivers a particularly harsh thrust before stilling inside you; keeping the tip of his dick smushed against your cervix. The sudden movement snaps you out of your haze and you obediently widen your mouth letting your tongue hang out. Sukuna lets a glob of spit fall from his lips onto your awaiting tongue. You don't need to be told to swallow, you do so on habit, giving him a soft smile as you do so.
"Fuck, ya so perfect, such a good girl."
Choso- Jealous
Choso is the type of man who keeps to himself. The type of man to blend in a group or fade into the background.
But that doesn't mean he notices things. In fact, he notices things a bit too well.
Was that your coworker who touched your shoulder? You say that he is just a friend but who should a friend be able to touch you so easily?
He won't hesitate to bring up what he notices either, he says he's not accusing you of anything, that he trusts you, but he totally is.
He hates it when people get to close to his brothers so it posits that he loathes it when it comes to his lover.
How did you get here? How did an argument turn into this?
You want to scream, you want to thrash and tell Choso that he's got it all wrong, that you didn't mean to see your guy friend when you went out to have lunch. It was just a harmless bump-in that turned into a long conversation. Thats it. But the feeling of Choso's dick filling you up, his harsh thrusts and the fucking delicious friction of the drag, Jesus, it's just- it's just so good your mind that your mind is a white sheet.
You are on all fours but you don't know how much longer you can keep the position up. Not with the way he's ramming your pussy from behind.
“You are mine," he grunts out, pumping into you, the length and level of his arousal is brutal. "Mine," he swears, and he pulls you up so your back is pressed against him and you are upright. Choso doesn’t slow his movement though, giving you full, hard thrusts, your breasts bouncing up and down from the harshness of it all.
“You wanna cum? Good, cum."
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