#in a really mild way
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you are not gonna be able to guess what lucky circumstances I managed to accidentally get myself into this time lmao I secured myself a spot at a nude drawing class without even knowing it was a nude drawing class. it’s absolutely fantastic tho! the class is usually super popular and spots are hard to get so I was really lucky
#I’m just gonna pop by every few weeks spam reblog a bunch of posts and then yell about my personal life#without responding to any messages or anything else#and that’s gonna be my blog for a while ig#sorry!#but yeah it was rly funny when we entered the room and my friend and I set up our supplies and just chit chatted with them#and some other students#and I suddenly was like#wait so this is completely a nude drawing class?#and everyone was like#classic Gigi move#in my defence:#I assumed it was a general drawing class#cause the course description had mentioned it being a basic class#'from nude drawings based on models to portraits’#so I was aware it would be a part of it but not the entire class#so yeah#I’m facing my demons this semester#in a really mild way#cuz I actually do not enjoy drawing and painting that much#it’s why I rly struggled in all of my drawing classes#so when I picked classes for this semester I was like well#the description explicitly said everyone even absolute beginners were welcome#and it was about personal skill development rather than already having skills and being graded on them#which is why I thought hm I should do this and stick to it#if I stick to it I will definitely build my skills and if I don’t do that at uni I certainly wont do that at home#sorry for thw long ramblings#I am trying to be healthy and also responsible this semester and stick to actually going to classes#and not chickening out in them and staying home because I have weird compulsive thoughts that keep me from leaving the house ✨#and I also want to be diligent and hard working this semester#gigi babbles
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cant stop thinkin bout charles and erik readin together on the couch but instead of reading with him charles is listening to eriks thoughts while he reads. Live mind commentary ……..
#xmen#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#snap chats#the rare time i post an idea of mine only because i really cant think of a way id draw this#usually i hoard my ideas cause i like surprising you guys but this aint really one i feel like drawing so. For You my friends#like i COULD but. idk just isnt particularly something im itching to draw it just seems cute#but anyways no chat let me cook alright hear me out cause i talk in my brain all the time while i read#sometimes i stop reading just to think about a bit i read yeah#i want charles to listen in on all of eriks side comments or observations he makes while reading something#like if he wanted to charles could read the whole book in less than five minutes- maybe shorter than that#and that aint fun that aint cool …. so time for Audible: Husband Edition. With Commentary#ITD BE SO COZY just hangin out by the fireplace …. maybe its snowin outisde … if snow even exists anymore atp#a light fire cracklin and the study SEEMS totally quiet otherwise and yet…..#charles has been locked in to erik’s off-the-cuff literary analysis and mild comments for the past twenty minutes. its simple but its bliss#charles doesnt have to worry about being seen as invasive .. he doesnt have to suppress his powers …#the rare occasion erik lets charles into his mind for somethin so innocent .. ive made myself sick i fear#see now i wanna try writing a fic but 1.) have written in years 2.) id have to really think hard on how erik would commentate on a book#hm…… actually i do wonder what erik’s commentary on The Fable of the Bees would be …..#IN ANY CASE. maybe - at the very least- i can draw cherik by the fireplce someday ….#thatd be cute … hm …. depends on if i get in the mood for it down the line#anyways i have to drive back to my dorm !!! boo !!!! so good night everyone !!!!!
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World piercing alien laser beam vs the indomitable human spirit?
Commissioned by @jeshuamorbus-blog!
Part of Steven's skin is mildly holed out due to the laser beam, (the pink is melted off his body as it's literally him, but he is healing while taking damage.) Though you would have to zoom the image for those to be clear. I wanted it to look more violent but I do have to admit to my limits than deny+force it and delay this commission further. ( I am not joking when I say I draw slow, guys.😬) So thank you so much jeshuamorbus-blog for ordering and for the patience!
#Yes this is indeed Evangelion inspired if that's what you're thinking! 😁#I'd like to think the indomitable human spirit is true and that gives us an ace because man we are pathetic as a species in the grand schem#of the entire universe lol#If we're not stubborn like that we're really REALLY pathetic. 😭 We are rare in the SU universe though. Like pandas.#Not trying to be edgy but I could see why the aliens would put us in a zoo. haha#connverse#Steven Quartz Universe#Connie Maheswaran#Pink Steven#my shiz#SU#steven universe#commissioned work#Oh gosh I'm trying so hard to form a thought lol#mild render commission#mild render commission + bg#Guys I'm thinking of the panda-esque analogy now. Like. White would see us as things that get in the way of real estate or smthng like that#Blue would feel pity for us and think we should just be put down.#Yellow would see the practicality as White and Blue.#Pink is the conservationist.#Eh never mind that was pretty obvious lol#anyway#This commission took me a while but the pay off is always awesome#Purple
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some Friendly Maintenance scribbles i forgot to post!
#(the paint he's touchin up home with is the wrong color <3 neither of them can tell <3)#but yeah yayyyyyy stitchin up friends! woohoo!#i would like to state! in this au the puppets Do Not Feel Pain the way we do!#at worst its like... intense pins & needles + sorta nausea + static but a Physical Feeling etc etc#its deeply uncomfortable and feels really fucking weird! but not painful!#but for a puppet who's never really experienced it... they may react the same as a person would to pain#is this based off of my lil theory that in canon they Do Not Feel Pain At All? yeah lol#but anyway! patchin up friends is a love language!#scribble salad#wh lights out au#tw stitches#tw body horror#(mild but i think it counts)#(also for anyone wondering - howdy had a close call with sally. he got slashed! hes fine!)#(wally just has to kinda... shove the stuffing back in and then sew the gash shut. easy slices!)#(putting the stuffing back in is the worst part. it feels... not great! like i said - not painful - but not great at all!)#(howdy is employing all of his willpower to stay put and not scramble away from the unpleasant sensation!)#i have this whole mental Mechanic for what certain things feel like when it comes to maintenance on the puppets#like reattaching limbs or stuffing falling out etc#ALSO RARE TWO-EYED WALLY CAMEO 🚨#oh and#RARE AWAKE BARNABY CAMEO 🚨🚨#(just his arm but yk. hes up!)#(and they saved a large candle for the occasion of reattaching his arm!)#(wally is so happy...)
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to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)
#ray's tag#keys' art#undescribed#skeletons#ok to reblog#the skeleton model that i traced for this was provided by the incredible kiku @kikunai whom you can find right here on tumblr!#so uh. This is a piece about chronic fatigue although the original idea i had for it drifted a bit as soon as I started coloring the linear#(i really enjoy shading and lighting things and got a bit carried away here but i stand by my choice because this is my favorite thing#that i've ever drawn)#anyways. i often feel especially lately with school being back in season that my bones are leaden with this sort of. weariness. theyre heav#it weighs on our mental health and energy a lot and although there's a couple of reasons we have been given for it#that doesn't remove the fact that this is still a thing that affects us in a very real way day to day although we are good at masking it.#often i come home to find that i do not have the physical mental or creative energy to work on things i really want to#especially project: nexus which i feel extra bad about even though i can't help it because i just started it so recently#it is a mild to moderate struggle to make it day to day and i just. wanted to represent this somehow#my original concept for this was a skeleton with some black goop gunk whatever leaking from its joints#but as i started adding the cracks and coloring them gold (a personal touch; kintsugi is a concept that is very dear to us)#i realized that the focus here was less on the condition itself and more on the body that it afflicts.#so i put it into a spotlight.#ironic i know since very little people acknowledge this irl or even know it exists at all but i added rim lighting. I added color gradients#I colored the lineart and made it all fancy and even added a flare for the head to get the point across that even at its core; disability i#a performance. this is not implying that disabilities are fake in fact this is the opposite of that. i wanted to show that with disabilitie#especially i think in my personal opinion the invisible ones#we are all masking at least a little bit during the vast majority of the day. humans are social creatures and it is only when we are alone#or with someone we deeply trust where we allow ourselves to be who we truly are without fear and even then that can be rare#so i wanted to show this bit of the soul in as broad a limelight as i could. idk this is a really abstract piece and i dont know if anyone#will even get it but it matters to me at least. and even though we've been largely bedridden for the past week i think that's okay#we will get it figured out. all of us. okay? okay. i love you. i fucking love you. we are going to fucking make it#(also the xes over the eyes are because i thought they looked cool they have no deeper meaning at least i think they dont#actually i think they do but i cant put it into words idk. Art is subjective assign your own meaning i'm gonna go get a shower)
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What?? Why on Earth would they bloodlet Machete when he's already anemic?
Anemia wasn't discovered until 1852, so his physicians have no idea. He's just moody and achy and visibly unwell and bloodletting happens to be the cure-for-all fix at the time.
I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say it was one of the most used treatments in western medicine from ancient Greece to 19th century (and even earlier than that in Egypt, for example). There weren't many ailments that a little bit of breathing a vein wouldn't alleviate, supposedly. This whole concept is based on humoral theory which is a fascinating cornerstone of medical history and also completely unfounded nonsense, look it up if you haven't, it's interesting. People believed that blood didn't circulate through the body, it was created, used up and then the bad blood would stagnate in the extremities. Having too much blood would disturb your humoral balance and create illnesses so removing it was beneficial to your wellbeing. Even completely healthy people would sometimes go get themselves bled a bit just to be sure.
You kind of need blood for your body to function so this treatment was completely pointless at best and life threatening at worst. If you were sick to begin with it would only weaken you further (and expose you to potential infections, which in the absence of antibiotics, wasn't great). The only viable use for it would have to be rare blood disorders where your body produces too many red blood cells, like polycythemia vera, essentially the polar opposite of anemia.
#answered#anonymous#blood#Machete#I think the only thing Machete is getting out of these bloodletting sessions is a vague sensation of lightheaded tiredness#created by the combined effects of bloodloss wooziness and a mild pain induced endorphin rush which is a very dumb way to get high#and maybe that's enough for him to mistake it as a good thing especially if his doctors keep assuring him it's effective and necessary#he'd have a lot more vitality if they didn't actively sap his literal lifeblood but what can you do#the cuts aren't big but they can be deep so he's got lots of tiny scars on his arms especially inner elbows#which was often the most common site you'd operate on#they're flat and white enough that you don't see them unless you're looking very closely#he's relatively fine with bloodletting but leech therapy really squicks him out
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joniss for the soul
#katniss everdeen#johanna mason#joniss#katniss x johanna#johanna x katniss#the hunger games#hunger games#thg#i have soooo many thoughts about joniss#like i think johanna is extremely unused to physical contact whereas katniss is a very like. physically affectionate person#thats a really mild one. i think their relationship is kind of a mess for so many reasons but i wuuuuv it i love it so much <3#like i love their dynamic of being the two most miserable bitches in the room and somehow they make each other laugh#and on top of that theres this added layer of the fact katniss is like. the ONLY person who's really extended kindness to johanna#that hasnt been killed at least.#and in that way there are these parallels between johanna and peeta that are so fun for me#okay the end if you want to know more just ask as always i can talk about this shit for hours
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Like Mother Like Child, I Look Into The Mirror And See Your Face. It Disgusts Me.
beech translation plus textless under cut v
AND I WONDERED WHO CREATED THIS VIOLENCE? THIS RAGE? FROM WHERE DID IT ARISE?
I GAZED UPON MY OWN CLAWS BLOODIED AND CRUEL
#tw blood#tw mild gore#mild eyestrain#corru.observer#corru.observer oc#corru observer#oc art#DullDreamMachine#I will keep posting backlog until I actually make anything#really like this one tho!!!#You will never get anything other than esoteric bullshit from me when it comes to the lore of this story unless you ask me personally#giggles... i love making this stuff seem way cooler than it actually is#o' child of golden light¸ how do you face those demons within yourself?
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how the TBB writers decide, for each episode, when Hunter should use his enhanced senses:
✨writers' perogative✨ aka "Hunter's senses only working when we ~really~ need them highlighted/showcased" ("and even then sometimes we'll still give that job to someone else")
#this is half joke half mild complaint lol#i do wish we had gotten to see him use his senses way more often#and while many ppl incl. myself have tried to explain away certain moments.. i really do think the writers just did w/e they felt like lmao#hunter#the bad batch#star wars#silly nilly
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HE SHOULD HAVE JUST GONE TO VISIT HER AT THE HOSPITAL...
it's a bit confusing but if we take his testimony, he was aware of Ai having given birth? I bet she told him and they did keep in touch, that call at the phone booth... it did seem like it wasn't her first time talking to him about their kids.
psychologically speaking, the fact that Ai was content about showing her bf their children(who are still very little)means she did trust him around them. That's why I thought she wasn't on bad terms with him(from her end at least) even before he showed up in person.
In fact, depending on the situation, it could mean something even stronger, she would have really wanted to show him their kids...but didn't think he was ready. Showing babies indicate a strong sense of trust for many animals... humans are animals too, you know.
youtube
Considering how much Ai swooned about her kids… (and it turns out she really did love her boyfriend a lot)she really could have wanted to show off how cute they are. I bet she was pretty sure he'd like them if he came to see them. She was just scared too because she thought it'd be his burden.
#oshi no ko#oshi no ko spoilers#hikaai#hikaru kamiki#ai hoshino#and this is why communication is important guys#oh and there is NO way he'd have tried to avenge Ai on dumping him or whatever..come on. he's said to have a noble soul now#even Aqua doesn't say anything about him trying to hurt Ai now. he's trying to get him because he thinks the dad is after Ruby#BUT THERE IS NO WAY#doodle#spoilers#I really trust Ai's guts on this one this guy would have been a loving dad... he's always kind around his kids!! he cares!!!#he's just way too passive and mild to have approached them;#Youtube
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Do you think Edelgard perceives herself as a victim? I’ve been thinking and I can’t decide myself, on one hand she clearly hates the idea of people being victims or helpless, and constantly reframes the victims of the war as “necessary sacrifices” instead of, y’know, tragic causalities of a war she started. She plays up her sad backstory to try to get Byleth to join with her in WC, but then she does all these things to concentrate as much power as possible on herself. On the other (other) hand, she pushes the culpability of the war on everyone except herself, and has trouble taking accountability. She’s obsessed with controlling everything but she doesn’t want to be blamed for the problems she’s created. What do you think?
Oh!
(sorry for replying one literal month later lol)
I find Supreme Leader hard to write because of this, but in a way, I believe that yes, she does.
However, for all the flak Faerghus gets for "ToXiC mAsCuLiNiTy" and "Chivalry BaD", there's something very toxic with the way some Adrestian victims (often women... blame the writers I guess?) deal with their abuse.
I'm not going to spend a lot of time on Doro because I already typed a lot about her, but while she still sees herself as a victim from what she endured and suffered in her childhood, she adopted the toxic mindset of "this suffering is a thing of the past and I grew from that/beyond that to become the person I am now" - which we can also see in Manu who suffered from, roughly, the same traumas.
Petra also follows this pattern, being a hostage and treated like shit, but she grow "beyond" her status of a victim to become the strong person she projects and believes she is - it's only out of House that she realises more accutely her status within the Empire, the reality of her situation and, in Houses, refuses vassalage to Adrestia to make her country independent without having to "ask the Emperor".
It's the same pattern : "I was a victim" but "I became strong" so "I am not a victim anymore, this is something of the past".
Applied to Supreme Leader...
Well, trying to ignore the Agarthans and her dad's own infuence on her character (which is kind of hard, since the games try their hardest to make Agarthans responsible for everything BaD and we're not clear on how much they had an influence on her), I think Supreme Leader believes she was a "victim" of abuse.
But - through further abuse and surviving said abuse - she became strong* enough to "not be a victim anymore".
Which is why her line of "if the weak remain weak it's their fault" feels like it echoes part of her mindset : she was a victim but became strong enough, maybe by hardening her own feelings to become "strong", so she is not the same helpless "victim" she once was.
If she managed to do that, then everyone can do the same.
As for the "necessary sacrifices", since early 2019 someone theorised that "the people" she pretends the fight for as seen as some general "concept", much like the "greater good". So if some people are sacrificed, it's for her ideals - the goal and aim of her newfound strength - , and it piles on her drive, she must realise them otherwise those people would have died (and she would have suffered) for nothing.
However, despite acknowledging her past self as a victim, and because she's now "strong", she's not above using her past trauma (but actually, still present! Remember the rat scene?) to reach her goals, because, at her core, Supreme Leader is soemone who is very determined. Maybe it's her only drive to grow beyond the trauma, or her own illusions, or a mix of everything, but AM made it clear, Supreme Leader is not above, well, using herself if it means seeing her goals come to fruition : unlike Lobotogard from AG, AM!Supreme Leader willingly transforms in Hegemongard.
This is the cost she's willing to pay, so while the memes about Lord Farqaad were on spot, I still think that Supreme Leader is ultimately willing to sacrifice** herself for her goal (but only when there's no other way to ensure her future will come to fruition, and in a way, I guess she thought she would survive the Hegemon transformation, jury's out on what she meant to do in AM's finale, but imo, she still tried, even beaten and battered as she was, to claim Dimi's head).
Ultimately I think everything's a bit muddled by the fact that, as @fantasyinvader pointed out, Supreme Leader is a liar and knows the importance of maintening good PR.
She lies and manipulates the truth to reach her goals (which again, is a red flag when CF claims to want to restore the "distorted history" of Fodlan!) and for all the flak I give them, the devs managed to scrap enough material to give us a peek in Adrestia's mindset (or at least its top nobles), they're not people who self reflect, they are salty because they aren't ruling the world anymore, and they feel like they are better than the rest of Fodlan.
Put everything in the mixer, and you indeed have Supreme Leader (but also her court, especially Ferdie in SB who dares to say, as he is invading and trouncing people who don't really like and accept the idea of being invaded, that the fear those people feel are only in their mind, or something like that? Like, dude, you're rolling over their people and country, of course they'll fear and hate you!) giving her weird rhetoric lines (why are people opposing me if they are going to die?), victim blaming (something Treehouse swallowed like honey, if their lolcalisation is anything to go by, remember, it's Rhea's fault for not offering her head on a platter that is the reason why the War continues in CF!) and so on.
IDK if the devs wanted to bank that much on the Dany parallel with her "if I look back i am lost", but again, I don't know if her drive to make a "better Fodlan" is motivated by her trauma, Adrestian revanchism, Ionius telling her dumb things or Agarthans agarthaning, but her goal and vision are everything to Supreme Leader.
So she will do anythign to see them realised, even if it means sacrificing her people, starting a war, tweaking "the truth" or using her own trauma to motivate and recruit powerful people who might assist her with her goals.
To reply to your question, IMO she sees herself as someone who had once been a victim, but won't let that stop her from reaching her goals, even if it means creating thousands of "hers" in the process, because, in her mind, reaching her goal is more important than anything else.
*I know, she refutes Dimitri's claim that she is "strong" or laughs at it, but imo, it was more in the sense of "I was weak and became strong" so everyone can "become" strong.
**I don't think she wanted to throw away her life, but more something in the lines of "putting my life on the line" or sacrificing her precious (and to see how precious it is, just play CF lol) humanity.
#mgphotogirl#replies#the way the games are written no one truly holds her accountable for the war and the WC events#the parley scene tries but then it forgets everything to talk about visions and whatnot#without even going in the 'your allies framed Dedue's people for something they never did and you are using demonic beast for fuck's sake'#territory like seriously it's so mild#Being in an UO mindset now I'm still baffled at how Alain at least delivers some venom and hatred to the guy who#trampled over the continent and doesn't deserve to him to be called its king#even if he puts his hatred aside to purify and offer him salvation#but in Fodlan? there's no hatred or feelings about the war or the WC events#I mean you could believe they're arguing about what dish should be cooked for a birthday#or they're in a heated philosophy class#This verse's pathological need to make sure she's never held accountable for her actions#bled in FEH and in even in FE17 :(#Imo Supreme Leader could have been a fascinating character#if only they dialed back on the uwu and teasets prospects#and i say that not only because we would still have fans going all 'arvis did nothing wrong as he cooked his younger brother on a low flame#for Supreme Leader but because the 'driven by their convictions to the point of abandoning why they wanted to do X in the first place'#for a female character in the FE franchise would really have been progressive in the 'yes women too can be red emperors'#fodlan nonsense#tbh going from Hegemongard in AM to AG's Lobotogard really hurts#but as a certain youtuber said#Lobotogard was designed with a certain bait in mind#and I'm pretty sure it was the only way to get some unconclusive 'everyone survives ending' without slaughtering Dimi or Supreme Leader#characters at least
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thingies
#witch hat tag#orufrey#nother small post (it's not small..) meek post. mild post#sensei QRTed the last one with a sweet message and made my week <3#drawn bc she randomly announced that originally qif & eas were going to be more openly hostile with each other#but she decided after feedback that qifrey would. Restrain himself now he has children in his life.#like pikachu with togepi in pikachu's vacation. She didn't say that part#just love that since i always say i see them as having this kind of autistic warfare expressed in ways other than actual fighting#since their youths. but i guess we don't know how much they had to interact as kids#i just know they're both opposite ends of Autistic Kids: one do-gooder kid who gets REALLY irked when others dont follow The Rules#and the non-verbal autistic kid who IS one push away from actually biting people#Sometimes autistic people shouldnt be friends.#anyway why did she randomly state this now of all times. Are they interacting in the next chapter. But why.#the next chapter scares me. a teaser piece of art she posted is like.....What is actually going to happen here.#What is going to happen .#anyway hope all fans of my silly drawings are doing well out there
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me days ago: i want to get some marcille/falin figures to match, but theres no falin merch yet :(
me: i'll get the marcille popup parade figure for now, in the hopes that someday they release a falin popup parade figure to match
goodsmile company, making my day and taking my money:
#SHE'S HEREEEE#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#delicious dungeon#i literally decided on the popup parade instead of the marcille nendo just because it was a little bit cheaper and it PAID OFF#though they might announce a falin nendo in a few days for all i know lmao#they kinda... cant?? mild spoilers ahead#because like the other thing is i was worried when they released a falin figure it would be of her redesign#i dont actually. love her redesign#so i was really hoping there'd be an original flavor falin and there she IS and im so happy about it!#but that means a falin nendo if they make one would probably be of her redesign which makes way more sense#theres not enough content for original flavor falin design to do multiple faces and poses and props
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Have a Dimitri because juggling hyper fixations is almost all I do now.
#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#lambert egitte blaiddyd#(a hallucination of him anyway)#also can we take a moment to appreciate that no-one called dimitri crazy or insane or evil for hallucinations or psychosis#also no-one dismissing his delusions and telling him he was stupid but no-one saying his delusions were right and people gently correcting#like I love it#and as a side note#I've got (fairly mild) psychosis induced by stress and seeing my little guy/ the skrungly having a (considerably worse) thing similar to me#that wasn't villain-y or shown to be a really creepy or wacko thing to have#like do you know how many people in games and media are evil because of '!!the voices inside their heads!!' oooh creepy#like dang it come on psychosis doesn't make you evil or creepy it's just a symptom of varying conditions#or sometimes just something some people get#like I love Veronica (fe heroes) but the being possessed after hearing voices come on IS there are better ways to do things you morons#anyway enough about that#fire emblem#fire emblem three houses#creativesplat draws
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ok siiince you asked for requests for demon boy castys… the tongue cut out + gag seemed like such an adorable situation for him <33
Giving you that and a little extra because I wanted More Whump 💕
←Previous - Castys & Terror AU Masterlist - Castys Masterlist - Next→
Ingredients: manhandling, a lot of unsexy noncon touching, slight dehumanization, partial nudity
Castys wasn’t sure if he slept at all that night, but after what felt like an eternity, Neteri reappeared wearing different clothes under her white coat.
“Good morning, Castys!” She sat on one of the stools from last night and motioned for him to do the same. “Get up, I’ve got wonderful news to share!”
Castys opened his mouth to retort, but he found he couldn’t form the words. His tongue was still…he looked away, swallowing, and sat up while remaining on the floor.
“You’re going to have to start listening to me, you know. Because,” she broke out into an excited smile, “I get to keep you!” Upon seeing Castys’s glare, she just laughed. “I figured you wouldn’t be excited, but trust me,” she held up a finger, “you’ll be much better off in my hands than if you were sold as a pet to some bored aristocrat. I’m sure they’d beat that personality right out of you, and I don’t plan on doing anything of the sort. As long as you cooperate with my experiments, you’re free to be yourself. You can even hate me as much as you like!” Castys raised an eyebrow at her final statement. He’d see about that.
After rummaging in her bag for a moment, she pulled out a little silver medal and moved to crouch next to him on the ground. “Hold still now,” she ordered as she started to bring it towards his neck. Castys wasn’t sure what was happening at first, but after a moment, it clicked, and he decided he’d rather not listen, leaning back. Neteri just sighed. “You’re not off to a very good start.” Well, it’s not like he wanted to be.
Suddenly, Neteri changed tactics, shoving him down on his back and straddling his waist before he could try to sit up, pinning his arms down with a knee on each elbow. Castys cried out, the wounds on his back from the whip lighting up in pain, and that combined with her full weight on him kept him from moving. He bared his teeth as her hand came closer, daring her to get within range, but she just curled her other hand in his hair, yanking it back and keeping his head firmly in place. Great. He was once again powerless against this tiny lady, forced to keep still as she attached that dumb little tag to the collar and sealed the metal shut with the same spell that kept him from taking it off.
“There,” she said once it was on. She tapped the tag, cold against his throat. “Property of Neteri Crozien. Whether you like it or not. Now,” she grabbed his chin, “are you going to let me put some new restraints on you or should I call the guards to manhandle you? Your resistance is pointless and only delaying the inevitable, exactly like every other time. Just nod if you’re going to cooperate.”
Did he want to get manhandled again? Not particularly. He’d had more than enough of being grabbed and held still while chains were taken off and put on. And it’s not like he was resisting out of pride or something stupid, he just fought back when it was something he really didn’t want to happen. Which was most things in the past couple days, but, hey, if new restraints meant he got to leave this boring-ass cell, he was okay with it. Her grip on his hair had loosened enough to allow him a small nod, so he gave one, praying she’d get the fuck off of him now.
Neteri smiled brightly at his cooperation. “Great! Although,” she got off of him and stood, thinking, “maybe just stay laying down. I don’t really trust you not to try and run at the moment, so just roll on your stomach and I’ll take the chains off.” Castys sighed in annoyance but complied, gritting his teeth as his weight went from his injured back to his burned chest. The cold stone floor felt a little good on it, at least, but it was a small consolation as he watched Neteri walk back over with a key and a coil of rope.
She squatted down and-fuck, that was a knee on his back, not her full weight but enough to make him gasp in pain. Paying him no mind, Neteri unlocked the manacles around his wrists, and he could barely enjoy the feeling of not having anything around them for a moment, just wishing she’d tie him up and get the fuck off of his back. It didn’t feel like she was going particularly slow as she pulled his arms behind him and wound the rope around his wrists, but the seconds still dragged by at an agonizing pace.
Finally, she finished tying the knot and took her knee off of his back as she stood. “There we go!” Castys just groaned, rolling on his side. “Oh, stop being so dramatic. It’s not like I was hurting you.” Castys’s glare deepened, and he awkwardly used his bound hands to pull up the back of his shirt enough to expose the bandages wrapped around his torso. Neteri’s jaw dropped slightly, and she just stared at him for a second before worry took over her features.
“I…I’m so sorry I…I completely forgot. That you were hurt. I wouldn’t have done that if I remembered.” Her head hung slightly. “I’m really sorry, Castys.” Her apology seemed genuine, but how the fuck did she forget he got whipped and branded yesterday? She looked back at him again. “Let’s just hurry and get you to your new home so I can heal you up, okay?” Wait, new home? She was taking him somewhere else? At first the idea was scary, but then Castys remembered that he’d never particularly loved living in the castle, so whatever. It was probably just going to be a different prison cell, anyway.
With ridiculous difficulty and a lot of groaning in pain, he managed to sit up, using his elbows to help him do it since his hands were kind of useless. By the time that was done, Neteri was standing above him with…a chain? He was already tied up what the fu-no. No fucking way. He growled as her hands moved towards his neck, baring his teeth once more.
“Seriously, Castys? You said you weren’t a dog yesterday, but you sure are acting like one.” Yeah, sure, whatever, but since he couldn’t fucking talk, he was forced to resort to other means of protest. He honestly wasn’t entirely sure where the growling came from himself, and, yeah, it was a little animalistic, but that didn’t mean he deserved to get put on a leash. “This is happening either way, so just give it up already.” Her hand was moving closer, closer, the clasp at the end of the chain open, ready to-
Once again, instinct took over, and before he knew it, his teeth were buried in the flesh of her hand.
Neteri cried out, jerking her hand back and dropping the leash. “Lyte! Seriously?!” She winced as she dabbed the wounds with what smelled like the stingy liquid from yesterday and used her magic to close them up, during which Castys couldn’t help but smile smugly. Once she was done healing, she pulled on her leather gloves and grabbed a couple rolls of bandages from her bag. “I figured you were going to be difficult to keep in line, but this is just ridiculous.” Castys took pride in being ridiculous, so he’d take the compliment. What he didn’t want to take were the consequences of his actions, but he was a little bit helpless at the moment, so there wasn’t much he could do as Neteri shoved a wad of bandages in his mouth and tied a strip around his head to keep him from spitting it out.
“There. You’re just about the only person who’d need to be gagged when they can’t talk.” Castys just looked away, feeling his face grow hot as she clipped the leash to the collar. She gave it a tug, but he didn’t budge. Now he was just resisting out of spite. Neteri’s expression grew even more frustrated, and it looked like she was about to say something before she stopped herself and took a deep breath, calming herself down. She crouched down to look Castys in the eye.
“Look, I’ve been going about this the wrong way. I hurt you when I didn’t mean to, so I’m not going to punish you for biting me. We’ll just call it even.” She paused and held up a finger. “The gag stays until we reach our destination, though. Just for safety’s sake. But I’ll tell you something about my plans for you. If you come with me, you’ll have a tongue again by the end of tomorrow. Does that sound good?”
Castys could be stupid and stubborn and petty and shake his head and sit here and then end up getting dragged off to wherever, or he could just suck it the fuck up and get the ability to complain back. Complaining would be nice...After weighing his options he nodded, and Neteri broke into a smile. “Good. Let’s go, then.” She helped him stand, and she seemed to do her best not to pull on the leash as they walked along. Soon enough, they had reached the teleportation stone, and Castys…he couldn’t help but be a little excited to leave this stupid place. He knew he was a fucking prisoner now, but he was basically a prisoner in his old life, too, minus the chains and plus a comfy bed.
At least he was going somewhere else.
The other palace was pretty cool, at least, the short glimpses he got before he was pulled into the lower levels, down halls and through doors until they arrived at his lame little prison cell. It did have a bed, though, so that was an upgrade. And a private bathroom?! Why did the prison cells in his family’s dungeon have to suck so much ass? He only spent two nights there, but still. If he was ever in charge of a dungeon, he would make sure it was at least a little comfy in case he got thrown in there.
Neteri clamped a manacle around his ankle, which was whatever, because that meant she untied his wrists and took that stupid leash off. And then, true to her word, she healed his wounds. The brand scarred, of course, which was…the symbol was kind of cool, but since it meant he was “property” or whatever he wasn’t too excited about it being on his chest for the rest of his life. At least shirts existed.
After that was done, Neteri instructed him to clean himself off and left him alone for a bit. He wandered into the bathroom, chain clinking with every step, and paused in front of the mirror. He looked pretty much the same as always, just a little more tired and blood-covered than usual. Oh, and the stupid collar around his neck. Neteri was fucking delusional, it didn’t look the slightest bit “cute” on him, it just looked…He didn’t want to see it anymore.
Once he was clean and dressed in some slightly comfier clothes, Castys tried out his new bed. It was nowhere near as nice as his old one, but it was way better than the floor, so he’d take it. Just as he was drifting off to sleep, Neteri poked him in the face.
“I’m back, Castys, get up and take your shirt off.” Castys sat up, but didn’t take his shirt off, instead just crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. His wounds were healed, so what the hell did she need it off for? “Come on, I’m just going to examine you and take some measurements. Nothing painful, I promise.” Not painful, sure, but probably still not pleasant. Even so, he didn’t really have much choice but to listen, so he pulled off his shirt and stood, hoping this wouldn’t involve too much touching.
His hopes were in vain.
It started off fine, her measuring his height and a few other things with a strip of leather, but then she started running her hands all over him, poking at him, moving him this way and that. He couldn’t help but flinch every time since he hated being touched, and Neteri was clearly getting annoyed by it. His full-body recoil after she ran a hand down his spine was the final straw. Wordlessly, she clamped a manacle around one of his wrists before shoving him down onto the bed. He tried to stand back up, but she basically fucking tackled him, pinning him down on his back for the second time today. And, to top it all off, she managed to loop the chain around the top of the cot before cuffing his other wrist, leaving him pretty much helpless.
“I wouldn’t have to do this if you’d just kept still,” Neteri sighed, seeing his frustration. Well, it was a little fucking hard to be still when someone who’s basically a stranger is running their hands all over your bare skin. He considered trying to kick her, but she’d probably just chain him up more and keep going, and he’d rather this bullshit just be over with already.
Being chained down on his back somehow made this infinitely worse. There was nowhere to run, nothing he could do, Neteri looming over him as she put her hands all over him, touching his chest, his brand, squeezing his arms, grabbing his chin, pulling at his eyelids, gloves on now, hands in his mouth, poking at the stump of his tongue, feeling his teeth, gripping his hair to turn his head from side to side, his skin was crawling, crawling, his muscles tense, breaths coming short, fast, he just wanted her to get off stop touching him examining him taking notes reducing him down to just numbers just a body not a person not someone who got boundaries or personal space no just someone who gets touched and touched and touched-
“Castys! Hey, hey, just breathe.” Neteri was standing over him now, fiddling with the cuffs on his wrists, releasing him. Castys hadn’t even realized he was hyperventilating, but he tried his best to calm down as he scrambled to the other end of the bed, as far away from her as he could get. Neteri watched him sadly. “I…I was making you uncomfortable, wasn’t I? I’m sorry, I just thought you were trying to be a nuisance.” No shit he was fucking uncomfortable, how the hell did she misread that?! At least she looked upset by this, but it was way too late for that. Castys still felt like there were bugs crawling all over him, and he could feel his heart pounding out of his chest.
Neteri reached out a hand in a misguided attempt to comfort him, but after seeing how Castys flinched and bared his teeth, she backed off. “Okay, okay, I’ll leave you alone. Well, I’ll go get you something to eat, and then I’ll leave you alone. Until tomorrow, and then you’ll have a tongue again and you can complain all you want and yell at me, okay?” Castys would rather never have to see her stupid face ever again, but that’s not how this was gonna work, so he just nodded silently, not relaxing until she’d left the room.
He almost wanted to take a shower again, just to wash the feeling of her hands off, but it was starting to subside, so he just pulled his shirt back on and hid under the covers. What was that, exactly? He knew he didn’t like being touched, and he’d never let anyone do it remotely that much, so maybe being touched for so long in such an invasive way had been too overwhelming. Castys had thought he’d be a little tougher than this, since the thought of pain didn’t really scare him, but apparently being pinned down and touched was too much for him? Kind of…pathetic. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if he could talk, protest, fight back a little bit with his words. Maybe he’d be okay once he could talk again.
He just hoped Neteri wasn’t lying about giving him his tongue back.
Castys Cult: @as-a-matter-of-whump @blackrosesandwhump @fanmanga1357-blog @thehopelessopus @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi
@hearse-song @muddy-swamp-bitch @whumpasaurus101 @yet-another-heathen @galaxywhump
@starnight-whump @his-unspoken-words @misspelledwitch @suspicious-whumping-egg @pumpkin-spice-whump
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@whumpedydump
#i wrote something#whump-queen#whump#castys#neteri#castys & terror au#thanks aki enjoy sorry it took a bit but i think it turned out more fun because of that hehe#okay DISCLAIMER: neteri forgot he got branded and whipped because i forgot#and wrote her like pinning him down and shit#and then i remembered that he had other injuries#so instead of rewriting everything and cutting out all that sexy shit i just made it her fault so you're welcome#she really does feel bad about it tho#sorry if the gagging wasn't as whumpy as you wanted 😔 once she gagged him neteri simulation was like ''what if she was nice''#because she realized her approach wasn't going to work and she can tell castys is really upset about his tongue#so there it is the way to make him cooperate#he wants to be annoying soooo bad#yeah idk why he started growling. feral fucking man#he is just 19 he is so so young here so the defiant streak hasn't mellowed much aka he bitey#he also hasnt really been touched that much against his will and when it happens oh no :)#idk if it was a full blown panic attack but def a mild one#neteri is afraid he might have been sexually assaulted based on his reactions and she feels really bad about it#she will ask once he can talk again and he can tell her no he just doesnt like being touched
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every day people call my coyotes wolves
#sometimes foxes too. but not as often#to be clear this is about my artwork. i do not say 'my coyotes' as if i have any claim to the species i mean my gay dog drawings#if anything i think it strengthens the whole 'coyotes as a trans/nb metaphor' thing i love so dearly. in a way#this is like. not an actual issue it's just a mild pet peeve really#it's not realistic for me to get actually bothered by it#esp considerin that wolves have a much more widespread range both in the natural world and culturally#so people as a whole are not gonna recognize a coyote as readily as a wolf. and ofc the two can fucking crossbreed so that doesn't help#HOWEVER coyotes are my subject of choice for a Reason and i feel like some of that nuance is lost when it's assumed to be a wolf yknow?#the dog metaphor hits different when it's the species that're the scrappy survivalists who live just as easily in the city and wilderness#sorry for going off i'm not normal about animal symbolism that's why i make art about it and have it as a constant motif#and i feel like a jackass if i correct people abt it too. head in my hands#this IS why that zine comic starts out with the line 'a coyote is not a wolf is not a fox' btw#no i won't shut up
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