#in a bit of a state
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Love me more? š„ŗš„ŗš„ŗ
#in a bit of a state#where i just wanna maintain this hate fuck brainrot thing I'm having for forever#ahhh i love my blorobos so much you can't imagine#imINSANE#i want things to be done to me but not really just in my head only#it's complicated lmao#perosnal
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "šš¼šš¼ā" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) āwhy didn't he use š«µš¼?ā didn't exist yet. āwhy didn't he use š?ā dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. šš¼ is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent šš¼šš¼ as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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ā¦ Freshly ordained ā¦
#a packless dog will happily accept his collar or something like that#own art#own characters#CanisAlbus#art#artists on tumblr#Machete#anthro#sighthound#dogs#canine#animals#maybe you might benefit from a little bit of context in this case#Machete becomes a priest at around 20 or so#he has trained all his life for this goal#he has worked himself to the bone and sacrificed so much#because he believes it would make him respectable and worthy and give his life a purpose and meaning#he gets his very first cassock from the tailor's and it immediately fits like a second skin#for the first time ever he feels like something he wears actually makes him look kind of nice#the hard part is over it'll be smooth sailing from here on out#there's a period in Vasco's and Machete's lives where they were apart for almost a decad#they met in their late teens when they were both studying in the same university in Venice#became friends and then lovers#but had to separate when Machete graduated and Vasco dropped out#Machete was ordained as intended and Vasco followed his father into politics#they meet again unexpectedly in their early 30's thanks to their similar jobs#Machete had became a cardinal secretary of state and Vasco was a Florentine diplomat#this takes place shortly after he had lost contact with Vasco and before he reconnects with him again
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I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just canāt try to process emotions the same way as them, itās just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcanās meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about whatās upsetting them
People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human
ā-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didnāt even bring a dish!!!ā
āThe purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?ā
āYeah!!ā
āAnd they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?ā
āMostly just my dish but yeah >:(ā
āHow illogicalā
āThatās what Iām saying!!!ā
#star trek#Vulcans#Humans#not based on a specific thing#but I used to know this annoying couple that were āfamily friendsā#who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field?#like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq#and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first#would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate#and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for#and it wasnāt a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance#the adults who raised us knew them really well and weād been to their house a ton of times#they were just dicks#and yeah. theyād occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it.#it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible#you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier#but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks.#that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on#and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post#but anyways weād hardly ever get to have nice snacks#and this couple would just take them all??? even after weād tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks werenāt gonna be#replaced#hated that couple#if youāre wondering why they were āfamily friendsā itās because the couple who raised us#(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesnāt fit since they never finished petitioning š)#liked having them around because it made them look like āsuch great Christianāsā being nice to the people#that no one else wanted to be friends with#I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone#this got long sorry š
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you don't get it okay... you don't understand..... .
#talk#anime and manga#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#shuro#toshiro nakamoto#greatest hits#(CLENCHES FISTS)#HIS DEFAULT STATE IS A SHY AND SENSITIVE GUY...#OKAY.?#he really needs an artsy hobby it would be so good for him#HOW CAN YOU NOT THINK HE'S ENDEARING AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT...#when falin visits they need to go bug catching#please be for real i know he's thinking falin's new feathers n fangs are adorable too
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recent gira skpg+some slightly older doodles of baby gira
#poke mythos#pokemon#giratina#baby gira#sketch#was outta state fr a funeral im sick and beat#as in i got sick. potentially covid from my mom shes bad at masking -_-. idk i need to get some more tests#id tested negative a few times in recent days but after i started feeling a bit worse i might as well make sure its not a false negative#ive been masking regardless tho
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realizing how much i like drawing him a million years too late :<
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuta okkotsu#okkotsu yuuta#yuuta#fanart#jjk fanart#i amn so sleepy today GJHKGJDS just felt like doing a bit of a return 2 form with red/white/grey colour palettes... smth easy#i will get back to being Actually productive now that i hav purged th yuuta brainworms fr the time being#rly tho it is criminal that i am only Now realizing how fun his design is given th state of canon.......#i want to draw him more! but ... the gojo suit.....#i think that whenever i draw yuuta it will b original flavour. i do not particularly want 2 draw limited edition gojo yuuta#also will i shut up abt these brushes yet the answer is no smile :)#the little Rake-y one is my LOVE when i was swatching them i honestly didnt think i would like it#but shes got so much personality!!!!!!#need to fill space? pastel rake. shadows not blending and look muddy? pastel rake#s tier brush in this Already stacked set
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Getting Jean's perspective of Neil has casually reminded me that Neil really was out here in tfc acting like Andrew was insane for thinking he was a mole for the Ravens.
Like the man was so offended that Andrew would assume that, even though he spent every moment before that being completely fucking feral, having a literal shrine to Kevin and Riko in his bag at all times along with $250,000 in what amounts to cash, knew french well enough to not only yell at Kevin with no context, but say something that got Kevin to throw him against a wall in retaliation....
This is the man who had the audacity to act like Andrew's assumption that he was hired by the Moriyamas was completely unreasonable.
#my posts#like.... my man.#you are the most suspicious motherfucker in the state rn.#God. Jean's pov of this feral man was just amazing.#And that's AFTER he's been domesticated a bit LMAO.#tsc#tsc spoilers#well sorta there aren't really any spoilers since I'm mostly talking about tfc but#Neil Josten#Jean Moreau#Andrew Minyard#Kevin Day#aftg
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projecting on luffy again. get bited.
#zolu#luzo#one piece#p.s. i claimed to maximum amount of straw hat badges but im only allowed to display them on my main account š„ they are with me in spirit#p.p.s. have you ever bit a soft upper arm#i think zoros unflexed muscly upper arms would be the most stimmy thing in the world to chew on#me when i see the pumpkinhead halloween luffy world collectible figure. bite.#or some of the unreleased gear5 figures esp the world collectibles#okay maybe im on a world collectible figure kick i just think they are sooooooooooooooo!!!! (ā§āā¦) ( ą¹ ĖĢµį“ĖĢµ)Ł ā”#the markup to buy them used is insane tho ;__; so i just love them from afar#honorable mention to the new 20th anniversary action pose luffy with the haki arm and the big big fighting grin#and all babygirl zoros which i what i call zoro wearing any sunglasses but mostly filmz and filmgold sunglasses zoro#and when i see any art of my boys in their cowboy fits!!!!!!!#GGAAAAAH IM SO EXCITED I bought the ao cowboy shimmer print had to get it sent to someone in the states who will then ship it to me ;__;#<3 <3 <3 soon i will hold them. need to get some sort of wall display going for them and my zolu mail#okay okay ive ranted about a million things in the tags now. hope you enjoyed the bited. byeeeee
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art dump Itās mostly tommy sorry
#and also mostly blood !#some of these are kind of old. iāve been messing with my designs a bit recently#hlvrai#tommy coolatta#hlvrai tommy#dr bubby#hlvrai bubby#benrey#benry#hlvrai benrey#hlvrai benry#tw blood#tw nosebleed#my art#now donāt post again for another week iām going to be out of state
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The general dialogue between Eric and that AOL girl regarding his philosophy on love has always stood out to me. It's one of the very few moments of vulnerability we've been given / able to find on his character over the past twenty years.
Eric always had his guard up. We all mostly know this from his own writings, no one acts like how he portrayed himself naturally. But, also including the accounts given about him from other people in his life, important or not, before and after passing. Mostly commonly described as aggressive and irritable, yet closed-off and restrained.
Alongside that online exchange, the only other times I can think of were when he called out of work to be there for his sick dog, or the innocent adoration he held toward his older brother, alongside sincere respect for his mother, of course, Reb's "I wish I were a fucking sociopath" Tape, and (arguably) his undisclosed email to his childhood best friend.
He talked about love like he was an outsider. A still figure watching it & whatever shape it may take maneuver around him, but not having the ability to engage. Let alone even acknowledge the fact it could be something of his own as well if he reached his hand out to touch it, but that wasn't even a possibility for him at that moment. Feeling comfortable enough to bring it up, but never to address it directly. Mentioning what he believed, but never outright saying it, afraid to cross a boundary. Though, he was still very careful with his wording despite not feeling confident enough to state his opinion in full. Being just general enough so he didn't risk the girl disagreeing with his words because he didn't give her an opening to do so, but still baring just a bit of his self to her through his ego because it was just the two of them.
Everyone talks about the concept of "love" relating to the case in reference to DK, because it was something that openly consumed him in private, but in a way, I feel the same just might have applied to Eric as well. But, like many other things relating to him, he hid it all away inside of himself. To live is to be vulnerable, and the times Eric was, never ended in his favor. Hence why he conditioned himself to be so isolated from everyone else, emotionally independent.
When Eric did openly talk about his doctrine on love, it was that degenerate & exploitative journal passage in which he wrote in depth about the idea of forcing himself onto certain women in his life alongside gaudy band lyrics. Considering how hesitant he was to directly speak to another girl about love, even under the context they were both being open with each other, the passage was likely written out of some kind of complex frustration. To compensate for how he felt like such a stranger in the face of it, but remarkably knowledgeable when speaking objectively. He wasn't being honest with himself, but still desperately needed some kind of liberation as an attempt to stop whatever feeling of desire he harbored from further stirring inside him.
The passion that stems from hatred is something I'm sure we all know Eric was well acquainted with. I think the hate inside of him masked the love, being overshadowed and making it appear small. It was definitely there, but seldom did it get a voice to speak in comparison to the amount of steam he let out on a general basis.
Eric cared a lot. When you look past the ego he presented to the whole world, he wasn't an individual with ASPD by any stretch of the means. He wanted not to be independent, but his life made him feel that was the only option he could truly rely on with the social instability he faced growing up. He wanted to be seen. I'm sure many people have voiced this before, but it's truly heart-wrenching to think he was doing this big finale act with his best friend, maybe because he had his best friend there to do it with him, only to find out post-mortem that DK didn't hold him to the same high regard. Maybe close, but not at all on the exact same level.
Putting the fact aside both of them expressed fantasies of doing NBK with their own respective "dream girl," DK wanted other options for someone to go through with the date, other actual people in his life, but from Eric's point-of-view, it had to be Dylan. Dylan was one of the very few people in his life, the only one still present with him, that aided his desire not to be alone. To be seen as an individual. To be vulnerable. Under the impression Dylan felt the same way he did, or at least something similar ... and while I won't deny it was there, it just wasn't as significant to the other party.
"What one person calls true love (EH) can be just another cheap thrill to another (DK)."
I'd like to specify that my goal with this post isn't to send the message that they were "gay," nor point out any form of "romantic chemistry," but rather to emphasize how languished love was overall in Eric's life. Also, I think there's an absurdist humor that comes from the irony of him saying this with what we know would follow half at his hands (you know who the other half is).
They both loved each other as friends, without a doubt, but it's so tragic to think that Eric's closest bond, a connection of love so intimate yet unrelated to direct societal romance, which created a strength so abundant that it started a ripple effect worldwide that still persists to this very day, wasn't quite requited the way he thought it was. Just like every other published bond of his, in his sad little existence.
#eric columbine#dylan columbine#eric and dylan#tcc columbine#Not going crazy on the tags for this since It's a bit embarrassing to discuss my take on certain things... sigh.#I'll go armchair psychologist about how EH may or may not have had BPD another day when I enter another state of neurosis. LOL#I am not a truther on the āDylan was his FPā theory though. Not one bit. >.>#āļø
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sylvieās character essentially functions as a narrative device to remind the audience of how loki *would* have reacted to challenges, frustrations, and difficulties in the past
sheās an externalization of everything he is outgrowing, and every conversation they have had this season has driven that point home
the ālove triangleā at the center of this season isnāt really about lokiās feelings towards sylvie or mobius, itās about lokiās internal struggle to grow and become better without betraying his core identity
#despite the way this post opens i swear it is not sylki wank#to be fair i AM a lokius girlie through and through#but i just feel like weāre all missing the point a bit#it has been stated that the entire point of this series is to facilitate lokiās personal growth#loki#loki series#lokius#loki season 2#loki meta
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Silly guys goin' on silly adventures:]
@rorydrawsandwrites's puppeteer au but the only difference is that jax gives consent
My contribution to this wonderful au has been long overdue:')
Rambling in tags ehe (cw: ribbun:p)
Well maybe it's not the only difference
#I think in this version of the au possesion puts you into an almost dream-like state#Slipping into a sort of weird trance#Like physically you still have control of your body#But mentally you're mindlessly following orders from a disembodied voice#Kinda works like that imperius curse in harry potter (yes ik rowling sucks)#And jax soon figured out it was great for dissasociatingš#Escapism and heavily dependant on those possesion sessions to preserve his own mental stability:')#But *cue dramatic musicš„*#He eventually realises that it was not the possesion that brings him comfort and peace no more#But the presence and embrace of gangle that did<3ššš#Jskhsskhj sorry that was so cheesyš§#Well more or less its because he hadnt have human interaction in AWHILE it seems#Goose did confirm that it has been a long time since he last got a hug:(#*almost* made me feel bad there#Mkay enough rambling about this slight very minor variation of the story#I hope this whole thing was coherent to even be readable=]#Maybe ill even add emojisāØ#tadc gangle#tadc jax#ribbun#the amazing digital circus#Tadc au#tadc fanart#tadc fandom#gangle x jax#jax x gangle#Let me have this guys#Let me indulge-#Her head is a tad bit too small yes IM AWARE#This is actually probably my fastest post to reach 100 notes wth (in like 7-8 hours)
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Clementine returns. (PHIGHTING!)
deciding to accumulate all of these into a singular post to make my life easier + so that I can have some more food for you all,,, anyways.
My. My son. Clementine my baby my sweet boy,,, Some of these ARE actually reposts but the first 2 are for sure not :3! (I think at least LMAO), enjoy this :3! I must go back to my hole /silly
(Also a bonus as well )
#Yeah I thought it would be best to just#Shove all of these together LMAO#anyways! Hereās my son Clementine :3#Heās my beloved biograft oc and my favorite thing to do with him ever is draw him over cat memes#I know Iāve said it in the past but heās not actually a biocat#I just draw him as one a lot LMAO#I do wanna like. Put a small thing though since Iāve noticed a bit of a rise in it and itās that like#Just to nite#this IS my oc#he is an owned character with lore and stuff#Like. If you use these for anything please please PLEASE make sure to credit me#I wonāt be upset if you donāt but itās just very much preferred obviously since heās MY character and Iām very nervous about him#Getting stolen and stuff#Not mad or anything and itās not targeted at anyone what so ever but I just think that it should be stated!#Anyways TAG TIME YAAAAY#art#artists on tumblr#phighting!#phighting#digital art#phighting roblox#phighting art#roblox#roblox phighting#phighting fanart#for the memes#funny memes#meme#tumblr memes#humor
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Truth hurts for kaiser.
Kaiser grew up in a house where there's always a mad man in his house. His mother abandoned him. His father abused him. He never learnt to love someone properly. In the end he never knows how to act like he's loving someone.
"...."
Michael kaiser could only watch you skipping all around the field passing towels and bottles towards the players. He could only be mesmerized by how pretty you look even with a very stoic face.
Michael kaiser doesn't know how to love.
Even so Michael Kaiser shows his affection by making mean comments about you. You never mind about it. Isagi mostly spit him off and ness would often interrupt too.
You could only wonder if Michael Kaiser was born that way. Not all people are born mean. No? You never spite him for that. You could only just give a small smile every time he says something hurtful.
You never realise that was the one that Michael Kaiser loves about you.
Michael kaiser can't be more selfish.
He's being selfish right now. He is and he knows. Michael Kaiser snatches you away from everyone at the moment he finds Isagi almost confessing to you. He found himself gripping your wrist hard enough making you squirm.
The moment isagi opened his mouth Michael kaiser quickly shoved his hand shutting his mouth. He didn't really know what he felt. Even so he doesn't want Isagi to finish his sentence at all.
In the end Michael Kaiser let both of you go. Isagi started cussing on kaiser while Michael Kaiser gazed only lend on you. You didn't look at him just rubbing on your red wrist.
You look up a bit while Kaiser is still a bit confused about his own actions. He thinks what he's doing is right. He doesn't want you to get snatched away from him. No ,no yet. He will take you one day. But even so he knows that he's not in the right state of mind right now.
Maybe then he will finally make you his even if it will make him commit something.
Michael Kaiser is selfish.
#michael kaiser being so pathetic.#michael kaiser#kaiser x you#blue lock kaiser#bllk kaiser#kaiser x reader#blue lock x reader#bllk#blue lock#bllk x reader#a bit angsty#kaiser is not in his good state of mind.
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domain expansion
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#jjk 264#yuuji#help she entered a fugue state and finished a painting in 7 hours again#I still wish with all my heart that wed gotten megumi but HOLDS UP YUUJI THATS MY BOYYYYYYY#god his face is Messed Up i feel so bad#but i do think this is how ill go about drawing the injuries from now on :'>#just a Mess of flesh tones on that boy :((((( maybe shoko can kiss it better#anyway towards the end of drawing this my llsif pilled brain supplied 'domain expansion: happy party train' and i think its a keeper#yuuji if u havent picked a name yet pls consider thank u <3#a train station tho......as much of a vibe as it is i SUFFERED#the high ceilings full of pipework...the parallel lines....thank god i make the rules and dont actually have to detail it all#i love u vague lines that convey Essence Of Room#i think it works !!! i feel like im waiting fr a train n watching time slow around me as the lights stretch#btw the rake brush is SO good fr making lil bits of stretched light like u r squinting . i love it i have fun#anyway enjoy !!! him!!!! we r truly in yuuji kaisen i never Once doubted my boy
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