#important to remember in general btw

[exileandtrust]

Why isn’t there a major character death warning on handprints?????????

You are not a major character.

[giddlygoat]

as much as i want to see fiddleford recover and enter his much-deserved era of good mental and physical health, i also want to see the effects of his head trauma follow him forever. it’s important to me that while he heal and find a level of normalcy and peace, he never return to his old self.

kind of a side bar, but it’s relevant so: i also think there’s something to be said about old man mcgucket’s confidence. boldness? idk how to describe it. i wouldn’t say his paranoid tendencies have vanished, but for the most part he’s. breezier. part of it is the brain damage, and maybe part of it is genuine self-evolution in the right direction. but i think the obsessive mind-wiping just… broke that part of his brain. it’s like he’s no longer affected by fear in the same way. and i hope we see strong traces of that damage until the day he dies.

it’s important to me that fiddleford heal and emerge into self-awareness once more. it’s important to me that ford still look at him as very much the same person, despite all of the damage. but he’s also changed severely and irreversibly. i think of old man mcgucket as a much rawer version of fiddleford in that he holds less reservations and has no filter. he’s healing but he’s also broken, and those scars will forever be visible. and that’s important to me because it also changes ford and fiddleford’s dynamic a lot.

ok one last sidebar, then i’m done. when i say it changes their dynamic i mean it in the way that because fiddleford now wears his heart on his sleeve and ford himself is a bit wiser about relationships, there is less self-sabotaging going on between them. romance or friendship wise. and if nothing else, they both feel they’re getting too old for biting their tongues, so i imagine the discussions of certain difficult topics comes a bit easier now.

like, given that they’ve both made many catastrophically terrible decisions over their lives, they have a better perspective on life in general and have had time to reorient their previously fucked priorities. ford lives with a lot of shame for how he treated stan, dealing with the devil, and bringing about the end times. fiddleford lives with a lot of shame for how he treated emma-may and tate, starting a cult that ruined lives [especially his own], and not to mention the multiple death robot incidents. even though they both had good intentions or else thought their actions were justified at the time [mostly], it all collapsed on their heads because these actions were ridiculously stupid.

i think all of this is part of why the rekindling of their friendship happened so easily. fiddleford is eager to forgive ford and embrace him because he’s learned first-hand what grief and paranoia can drive a person to do, and so he feels the best thing he can do is accept his old friend back into his life, no questions asked. maybe ford will forever think he doesn’t deserve it, but he learns to accept mcgucket’s kindness and tries to learn from it. they’re both healing even if it’ll never be Backupsmore again. it’s still them, despite it all.

[mc-critical]

1.10 / 1.09

[sergle]

Now I’m curious, what breeds are on your list?

✨Golden Retrievers✨ Pomeranians Samoyeds Rottweilers Irish red setters German Shepherd (I like the black ones) Rough Collies and Shelties Great Pyrenees Bernese Mountain Dogs Cocker Spaniels St. Bernards Borzois and probably more that I forgot to list!! These are all dogs that I Especially want to cry when I see them, and that I could see myself loving / being able to meet the particular needs of their breed. I've expanded my Range a little in the two years since I brought Hugo home, since he's taught me a lot about dogs, and I could potentially take care of a baby with very different needs from the ones that he had. I'm still by no means a dog expert but. Yanno. You learn small things over time! In the end, when I was searching for a dog a few years ago, I had a few qualifications I didn't want to budge on. I needed a dog that's trainable, but not stubborn, a dog that's gentle and considerate with my cats and my niblings, a dog that's not too reactive, a dog with soft fur, and a dog that is affectionate. So... Hugo is all of those things!!! He picks up skills quickly and listens (I gotta work on his Recall though), he takes extreme care around the cats and is so careful that he can be left alone with kittens and baby chicks, so being sat on / bothered / tugged on by small kids isn't even a challenge. He has never growled at anyone or anything in Irritation in his life. He's never bared his teeth. He doesn't bark at strangers or at odd noises, he doesn't snap as a response to being surprised. He's extremely pillowy soft, and his fur doesn't irritate my skin or pierce my clothes. He is extremely, extremely sweet and loving, frankly to the point that he would easily fall in love with a new owner if he was kidnapped lmao. You can maybe see why I like goldens so much. I got REALLY close to adopting a Pomeranian, which I'll continue to Think About, basically forever... but as someone with a predisposition for migraines, I don't want to set the dog up for failure if I'm not ready to hear bark bark bark bark bark bark bark all day. That's the ONLY downside. Maybe I invest in some noise cancelling headphones? They're beautiful dogs though, I love an animal that looks like a little rat. You ever see one of them after a bath? My god.

[lexydakitten]

been kinda melancholy the past few days and this song is not helping change that but its at least comforting a little bit . it's hard to not think abt how much i miss the way things were ; i don't think i'll ever have as close of a friend as that again and i think that's always going to hurt. and as time goes on i realize that i'm forgetting, getting further and further away, and what i dont forget congeals into a sort of memory soup. it's hard to admire what's around you when in the back you know you failed and it does make me kind of want to scream sometimes . if i could do anything i would and if there is ever a day i will not hesitate but the "just wait, don't think about it until you can solve it" mindset is also not very effective all the time when i just.would really like my closest friend back.

song that set me off (and is directly referenced in the image) is boring by the brobecks. would strongly recommend that entire album in general i am not normal about at least half of those songs including this one. all constantly stuck in my head. sobbing

[platinum-horizons]

4

edit: 4 was NOT supposed to be there i dont know how it happened

Like I know we all love making ADHD seem cool but like, don't forget it's actually a disability? My ADHD is bad enough I've nearly been evicted for forgetting to mail the rent check to the property manager, I've forgotten to pay the utility bills and had my water or power get turned off or had to pay fines bcs I missed a credit card payment. Once I was supposed to cat sit for a friend and I lost the house key she gave me but didn't realize until she was already out of town, and she had to call the apartment office to get someone to give me the spare so her cats would have food for the week. When I'm unmedicated I can't even get myself to shower half the time, forget eating or cleaning. Before I started living with my fiance I'd just like, not eat for days because I didn't have anyone to remind me to eat or go buy me food. I've forgotten to turn the stove off so many times and ruined kettles and tbh been DAMN fucking lucky the house didn't burn down. I've done stupid, impulsive shit that's nearly gotten me KILLED. I can't remember to close the shower curtain reliably even through my fiance points out every single time I forget, and he's almost out of soap rn bcs for the last MONTH neither of us have been able to remember to order more once we get out of the shower.

I've had such bad memory my entire life that to this day someone suggesting I forgot something because I simply didn't care enough is a legitimate trigger that, in the worst cases, makes me have a breakdown.

I get that for some of you this is just something that makes studying hard or you forget to take a pee break when you're playing Minecraft or whatever, that's still a valid struggle and you do deserve help and understanding, but like, ADHD is a disability. It's disabling. It's not impossible to improve and learn coping skills, meds help a lot, there are great accommodations out there(LIKE CLEANING SERVICES), but not every case of ADHD is the same, and a lot of them are pretty ugly ngl, and just because you managed to do something doesn't mean someone else is gonna be able to manage it too, or that they're being lazy for struggling. And that obviously doesn't mean ADHD people have a free pass to never work on themselves and make everyone cater to their every need or whatever, but we do deserve some understanding when we explain that our disability is actually disabling in ways that aren't palatable to you. So like, idk, maybe don't immediately recoil in horror when you find out that someone with ADHD can't keep their house clean. And for fucks sake don't ridicule them for it.

[catominor]

anyway more republican art posting but. the characterization of republican art and the notions of personal appearance in that period make it so interesting to me. i think pliny said this when i was reading him talking about the ancestral imagines but he basically characterizes a 'decline' of art from the republican era to his time, essentially with art becoming less about showing the individual characteristics and personality of a person and more iconographic/about projecting things like wealth or power rather than capturing individual features. essentially he says portraits became more of a 'stereotype' which signalled what kind of person you were, rather than a portrait of your particular face. which i think, although i don't really know how right pliny was about his own time obviously, is definitely something which characterizes republican art in the cursory glance at roman art history i've taken; ie the focus on capturing idiosyncratic and individual portraits of people (even to the point of possibly exaggerating them, almost like a caricature) in order to capture almost something about their soul. i think this is why i find that era of portrait busts so alluring, and though there are also definitely imperial era ones which have the same idea of capturing an individual, the republican ones hit different imo

[rowie264]

If someone criticizes something, it doesn't mean that they hate it. It also works the other way around. If you like something, it doesn't mean that it's done well from an objective point of view.

I love Jinx. Her design, her story, her personality, her character arc... I was just fascinated by her. Jinx has become one of my favorite characters in media in general. It was the continuation of her story that I was waiting for the most.

Jinx is still my favorite character in season 2. I love almost every scene with her. How she did Sevika's arm and the subsequent fight with the Smeech, the fight with Vi in Act 1, the prison break, search for Vander in the mines, epic appearance during the battle against Noxus.

I got a lot of positive emotions while watching s2 and especially during Jinx's appearance on the screen. But… an emotional response and objective assessment are two different things. And objectively, Jinx's character in season 2 is OOC and poorly written.

Removing very importand part of her story and personality. Her mental issues almost completely disappear. This is a very important aspect of her character. And no, Isha's presence and a "more favorable environment" would not heal her, the whole 2nd act is completely unrealistic and looks stupid, since all her problems with her mental health were magically solved off-screen;

Irrelevant piece of plot. Her arc of "Zaun symbol" passes by her - she becomes a symbol by accident, ignores the consequences and directly encounters all this revolutionary mood only during Isha's saving from Stillwater (at the same time saving her followers - an indirect action, not a purposeful one). So this arc is kinda about her, but she doesn't seem to participate in it herself, and it ends with literally nothing (like the whole Zaun revolution);

Making her more appealing to wider audience. Her hatred of Piltover and Caitlyn just disappeared. Yes, while she was with Vi in the mines she said "piltie goons who murdered mom and dad," but… that's all? Jinx doesn't kill a single enforcer in the entire 2nd season (although, for example, she could have in Stillwater) and tells Caitlyn "I didn't know your mother was there." Let me remind you that Jinx literally giggled in s1 when she killed a dozen enforcers during gemstone kidnapping, killed enforcers on the bridge without any care, she hated Caitlyn fiercely because she "stole" her sister from her, and she couldn't not know that Cassandra was a councilor. It isn't showed how and why she changed her opinion and this is important thing to her character, you can't explain such change with microexpressions or parallels;

Unrealistic happy family reunion. The reunion of Jinx, Vi, and Vander is a spectacular moment from Disney. Do you remember how Jinx reacted when Vi returned? Yes, she was happy but as soon as she spotted Cait she freaked out and immidiately thought that Vi betrayed her. Imagine what would happen if her supposedly dead - bc of her btw - father had returned and now looks like some animal;

Silco mattered much more to Jinx. A very "subtle" replacement of Silco for Vander in the role of father (Jinx calls him father, sniffs Vander's jacket and not Silco's), although Silco played probably a bigger role in this? And Jinx remembers about him like 2 times? Although it's been about 7-10 years since Vi's "death" in season 1, Jinx was still triggered by just a similar appearance. Apparently, Silco wasn't that important to Jinx (which is not true); I could still keep talking about Jinx, but let's leave it at that.

I love Jinx even in season 2. I like watching scenes with her. But my emotional attachment doesn't stop me from seeing that Jinx's character in s2 is not a continuation of Jinx's character of the end of s1. Her image is broken, the arcs are not completed, the relationships with other characters are poorly written.

[bouquetface]

Navamsa/D9 Observations

Accuracy will be HEAVILY influenced by the Entire d9 AND natal chart. This is general information, not a personal reading. With that being said, I'd love to know your experience with these placements.

D9 should be read alongside natal for full accuracy.

LONG POST BTW

Saturn in 11th House

You will have a smaller social circle in later life and after marriage. On the bright side, these friends are likely to be very loyal. They may be people with high titles - Doctor, Vet, Lawyer, Professor, Scientist, Business owner, etc.

The friends you do have will be reserved. They could be traditional and older people. Unlike, Jupiter in 11th your friends will not be as likely to go out of their way to help you out/give you opportunities. Saturn requires you put in your own effort.

Your elder sibling can become distant. This isn't necessarily bad, they may live at a distance and/or be busy due to their own personal life. EX: They are busy with raising their own family. Less likely to see you.

If Saturn is in libra (where it is exalted), it is likely having a small but loyal circle is your choice. Rather than it being due to you struggling to create or maintain friendships.

The marriage will likely be very stable. There may be times where married life is so predictable and routined, you become bored. However, with this placement you will work through it. You and your spouse will fulfill your duties to one another. The couple has respect and admiration for one another regardless of what happens in life. However if you have divorce indicators and where the ruler of this house is your married life could struggle. You may have a late marriage and in specific cases no marriage.

I have noticed this placement if well placed can make up for any malefic planet in 7th House (natal or d9). The couple is always inclined to be there for each other and resolve any issue that occurs.

Saturn in 7th House

Often, I see people react to this placement negatively. It's important to remember: Saturn is exalted in Libra. Libra is naturally ruling the 7th. Saturn is comfortable unless harshly aspected.

This does not mean you will never have a issues with the spouse. You will. Yet, the spouse will always want to resolve the issue rather than end the marriage. This is the couple that seems to be constantly bickering but when their spouse needs something, they will do their best to provide.

There is karma related to this placement. It is said this indicates marrying someone from a past life. You are met to resolve your issues from the past through making your marriage work.

Divorce indicator like ruler of 7th in 6th could emphasize divorce and fighting tho.

Mercury in 7th House

This indicates the spouse is younger or looks younger than you. They are likely to be very social. The spouse can be your best friend. Over time they can become almost like a business partner. You may talk to one another like coworker rather than lovers.

The spouse is likely to be very social. They can start a conversation with almost anybody. The negative of this is the spouse will talk your ear off. They can often be moving around/fidgeting and talking. EX: You guys drive buy a farm. They will not be able to stop themselves from interrupting you and saying "Oh look cows"

The spouse can often make observations and complaints. Nitpicky person. Curious person too - they can want to go new places and explore. You will basically always know what is going on this person's head. The couple can bicker a lot.

On the bright side, mercury is adaptable especially if placed in a mutable sign (sag, virgo, pisces, gemini). They can compromise when they want. They are guaranteed to change throughout the marriage. Their hobbies/interests, maybe even career can change.

Sag ASC

You can reach higher status after marriage and/or in later life. However, you likely don't care about status. You just desire being able to have enough and not worry it will be gone.

You can become generous and more compassionate after marriage and/or in later life. You can wish everyone was kinder to each other. You let go of anger you had in early life. This is likely due to the fact the home is calmer.

You are likely to adapt beliefs or find a religion that really resonates. When someone questions your belief system, you can be very angry.

I have noticed most people I personally know with this placement have multiple marriages. However, this is NOT always the case. Instead, it may be that you will have to go through heartbreak before finding the one. Accuracy is influenced by ENTIRE chart.

Moon in First House

I've noticed moon influence in first house can indicate someone who loves sweets and being comfortable. They dislike sweets and even minor discomfort such as wearing jeans instead of sweatpants.

This can be an indicator of marrying young - not a strong one though. Regardless of age when married, through marriage they do find comfort and joy. This can change due to moon's fluctuating nature.

One potential disadvantage of this is mother (yours or partner's) tries to influence the marriage. If well placed, this is someone who has the support of their mother - will go to their mom for advice/help. If badly placed, the mother can become an obstacle. Either way, it is likely there are ups and downs in relationship with in-laws.

This can indicate sub consciously finding a partner who has shared traits with their own mom - physically or personality-wise.

A person can gain status through marriage and/or later in their life. They can have good paying career. They may own cars or homes that impress other people.

Generally, these people will do whatever to keep the spouse happy. However, depending on entire chart, they may not agree with spouse if spouse's wishes hurt their own family - specifically their mom and children.

Sun in 10th House

In navamsa, 10th H is the reputation of the marriage (as well as your reputation in later life). This indicates you will have power/authority later in life. Your marriage can be seen as a power couple. You either both are in high positions (possibly in government work) or you work together successfuly.

This can indicate someone who does certain things to prove their wealth. EX: Buying an expensive car, dressing in formal or expensive clothing, etc.

Good news you will succeed despite obstacles and haters. These people tend to gain respect of many people.

Rahu in 8th House

This is a strong indicator of being the most successful in your family. However, you are likely to be secretive about it. You fear people using you and/or asking for help.

Depending on entire chart, you may actually not be able to help it. You could desire that validation - even to your own surprise, you become someone who likes to flash their wealth. Might be in a subtle way - ex: wearing an expensive watch.

Your in-laws could be from a different background. EX: They live in a different country, they immigrated from a different country, they follow a different religion, etc.

If rahu is badly placed & depending on where the ruler of this house is you could have financial struggles due to the spouse and/or his family. EX: He wishes to make a big purchase or give money to his family member. This affects your finances poorly thus your marriage encounters issues.

Rahu conjunct Mars in 7th House

You or the spouse can become very angry after marriage and/or later in life. Usually, this manifests as thinking violent and angry thoughts. However, this is NOT always the case.

Instead of spouse, this can indicate working with mars-like people. For ex: You could work in a prison or at a gym.

These people can be very successful too. Mars is our drive and if given an extra boost by rahu, this person can be unstoppable when going after their goals.

Saturn in 4th House

This can indicate a strong foundation for marriage and later life. You can enjoy being in the home. You could work from home. You could physically work on the home. You can prioritise the family over work.

However, if harshly aspected you can feel restricted in the home and by family. You may wish to go out but feel you are tied down. This should not happen if a person understands that marriage and starting a family require time and effort. You will have to work with spouse to create balance in the home.

If you hate responsibility and being disciplined but still start a family, you may experience periods of extreme unhappiness. You will feel the spouse and children drain you. You can become deeply depressed for a long time - even years or potentially the majority of your life.

EX: A uncle has this placement in cancer in d9, he got divorced. He says the wife and him fought over who was taking on the most responsibility. He felt she changed after having a kid. She paid "too much attention" to the kid and not him. He's kind of always been a man child/mama's boy. Saturn is in detriment in cancer, it can make it difficult (not impossible) for the person to take on saturn traits. + he only had squares aspecting his saturn. This will not be the case for everyone with this placement.

You can move away/ work away from birth place. This doesn't always mean you'll move to the US or UK/Europe. You may move states or provinces. EX: The same uncle from the first example is now a truck driver. He rarely comes back to this city. He is not the only person I know with this placement. The other person has also moved away from birth city for work.

Mercury in 2nd House

This is a good budgeting and wealth indicator. These people take control of their finances. You may become an accountant. Not always as a career, more often you take on the responsibility of doing your own taxes (including spouse and kids).

You can become very good at managing money. Your ability to make money is connected to your speech/voice. You can be charismatic and/or educated.

This placement does indicate someone who is flirty in speech. Like, mars in 2nd in d9, you can attract many and like that attention of being wanted. This doesn't mean you or the spouse will cheat. It does suggest you will wish to remain attractive to many. You can be flirty for fun just to know others still find you attractive. And/or this placement can bring many suitors to you even when you are married.

You may communicate more with your family after marriage and/or later in life. Checking in more with your aunts/uncles, cousins/siblings, parents.

Ketu in 2nd House

These people often go either 2 ways: They are always worried about money regardless of how much they have. Or they become detached about money and materialism. Both are possible at different times in life - ex: start out worried then learn to value priceless things like their family.

You can be detached when it comes to your own family. You may lose contact or contact family less. This is the family you come from not the one you may create with spouse or long term partner.

Ketu conjunct Venus in 2nd House

This conjunction can make someone feel like they never have enough. They can be critical of partners and themselves. Nothing and nobody can feel good enough. Often, it is RARE for them to be happy in their first long term relationship. These people need that heartbreak to learn to treat their next partner better.

If you believe in past lives: people with this placement are commonly said to have stolen money or a possession. This is why they have anxiety over needing more and more. They struggle to feel satisfied with what they have.

This placement can make you feel you never have enough money. These people often end up collecting something like watches or earrings. This placement can make someone dedicated to getting more money, more materialistic things.

Or depending on entire chart, you detach yourself from the materialism and superficial things.

10th Ruler in 7th House

10th house in navamsa/d9 shows us what we will be known for later in life. Ruler in 7th shows you are known for your partnership - the one with the spouse, your friends, your clients, your buisness partner.

Whether it is in a positive, negative or neutral way depends on the ruler, any planets in 10th, and aspects being made to both. EX: No planets in virgo 10th H. Mercury the ruler in gemini 7th H positive aspects being made to 3rd H. Your spouse could be more of a social person than you. Generally, people know you as their partner.

Rahu in 2nd House

Often, after marraige and/or later in life, you cut contact or speak less with family. This can be due to a bad experience with them or you simply live further away and don't care to talk much.

If the ruler if 2nd is well placed along with rahu in 2nd, you could gain a lot in later life and/or after marriage. However, Rahu in 2nd assures it is due to the money YOU make not the spouse. You could end up the sole provider for the family. You could make more than the spouse.

You are likely to make more money through international work. EX: You move away from birth city, or your company works with other cities and/or countries.

You may have bad eyesight. Later in life, you could require glasses.

Rahu in 6th House

This indicates you take on huge responsibilities in daily routine of married life and/or later in life. The sign and ruler of 2nd will tell you what these responsibilities are. EX: Taurus or libra rahu in 6th, Venus in 4th H: You take on the role of renovations/decor in the home.

More general observations with this placement:

You will get revenge on those who attempt to harm you. Almost always have more than 1 kid (that can be the huge responsibility you take on). Spouse and you are or become physically fit.

Moon in 11th House

Generally, these people deeply care about their friends. They will maintain their social life and connections deep into later life and/or after marriage.

They can deeply care about how other's feel about them, they crave outsider validation. This is the person who wishes to be famous artist not due to passion for the arts but because they want attention. However, moon in 11th as far as I've seen does NOT indicate fame. Instead, these are very social and friendly. They party/go out a lot despite being older and married.

However, I have noticed in the sign of scorpio it is almost the opposite. They don't care much about having a social life outside of the marriage. They are more private when it comes to connecting with people.

But we must look at entire chart, I know someone with scorpio moon in 11th and rahu + jupiter in 7th H. Their spouse was the one who deeply valued their social life - constantly wanted to go out with his friends. A few years after marriage, their spouse said they paid more attention to friends than them Later, the spouse found out he was cheating with a female friend.

Moon in 11th H taurus on the other hand is good wealth indicator. These people are polite and pleasant. People compliment them behind their back. These people often have many kids too who are equally as polite and charming. Very good placement to have imo.

Venus in 5th House

Likely to have a baby girl if you choose to have kids. I have noticed, unless aspecting Jupiter, 2 people with this placement only had one daughter.

Creation will bring great joy into their life. Either creating something or like creating a child. Life takes drastic change for the better when they can create.

The spouse can have very good style. In a man's chart, the wife and daughter can be very into fashion.

Sun in 4th House

The chart owner/you are the main authority in your home. If you have kids, you are the main one enforcing any rules. Even if you don't have kids, you can want the final say over the spouse. You wear the pants in the relationship. If the spouse also wants main control, this will lead to conflict.

You may after marriage and/or later in life realize you were wrong in identifying your enemies. You may realize someone from the past who you pushed away was a true friend.

& you will definitely realize someone they kept as a true friend was actually fake. You will be once more betrayed later in life due to this misunderstanding from early life.

This is said to be due to karma & the sun being positioned in a house where it can't "see" who the enemies are and where they are coming from. However, accuracy will be heavily influenced by ENTIRE chart.

On the bright side, you often experience a good amount of joy after moving away from birth city. You will get better career respect far away from birth city. However, it is likely you will still have family likely the father in birth city that supporta you - emotional or money.

Another positive, you are likely to be respected in career. In early life, you may have deeply desired popularity. This desire to be liked makes them work harder than others. In career, you will be rewarded for this.

Often, you feel you are much closer to one parent than the other. One parent is more there for you than the other.

The above is general information. It is heavily changed by the entire navamsa and lagna. For an accurate reading consider the paid readings I offer:

[sol-draws-sometimes]

No because the way it baffles me when I see TERF Lesbians or Binary Trans people shitting on non-binary/gnc trans people, or gay people shitting on aspec people. That’s not even getting into ALL the discourse that happens around labels, and their meanings, who gets to use them, etc. Yes, these identities are their own separate things, but, there is so much overlap in between ALL the identities, and lgbtphobic people DON’T CARE. Even if they call you “one of the good ones” right now, they WILL turn their backs on you later. When other queer people attack different identities, they don’t see how they’ll hurt themselves in confusion down the line. Stop licking the boots of your own oppressor just because it provides the illusion of safety from them, because once they're done dealing with the people you blamed as “the ones that make us look bad,” they’ll turn their eyes RIGHT BACK TO YOU.

you have to understand that there is an overlap between drag queens and trans women and between trans women and cis lesbians and between lesbians and drag kings and between drag kings and trans men and between trans men and cis gay men and between gay men and drag queens and between lesbians and bisexual women and between gay men and bisexual men and between lesbians and asexual women and between gay men and asexual men and between all sexualities and nonbinary people and between butches and transmascs and between binary trans people and genserqueer people.

basically what I'm saying is that we're all family. there aren't clear divides or walls that separate us. and that's the point. being easily separated into perfect neat little boxes is exactly what queerphobic people want. don't let your oppressers trick you into thinking your family is your enemy.

[molinaskies]

I rewatched Sonic Twitter Takeover 7 recently and been thinking a lot about this question (this is only part of the answer given) because I had a little epiphany about it.

Obviously these aren’t really ”””canon”””. The lore revelations to be had in these takeovers aren’t supposed to prove any major theories, BUT I like to look at the takeovers as a general guide for how the characters are meant to be perceived at the time of their release.

I remember people reacting to both this takeover and takeover 6 (sonic frontiers) a bit poorly because of how Amy’s feelings for Sonic were downplayed. Given the recent stuff with the Gens remaster, too, this still feels particularly relevant.

Amy’s romantic feelings for Sonic have been downplayed—there’s no denying that—but I don’t think they’re being erased. With the exception of that one clip from takeover 6 (where Amy says she loves Sonic, Tails teases her about it, and Amy backpedals, saying she said “like,” not “love”—very Boom! Amy, btw), Amy’s feelings have still been on prominent display.

However, two things have changed:

1) Amy’s love has matured,

And, more importantly, in my book—

2) Sonic’s response has matured.

In the above clip, Amy states emphatically that Sonic is “her’s” and that she loves him and that he’s perfect, but kind of stumbles over herself once she realizes what she says. Important to note is that she doesn’t take it back at all, meaning that she meant what she said, but probably would have said it differently if she had given it foresight, given the setting they’re in.

This reads to me like Amy is still very confident in her feelings but is making a conscious effort to be less pushy about it—perhaps for Sonic’s sake. However, sometimes it just gets away from her because her love is just so plentiful. It’s cute!

And what makes it even cuter for me is that Sonic is, just, like, totally okay with this?

What does he do when she goofed up and gets flustered about it? He laughs! Short and sweet. He’s very aware of her affection, and he doesn’t mind it at ALL. He loves when he can get reactions out of her (directly or not). It’s in this same takeover that Sonic rags on strawberry shortcake (Amy’s favourite cake flavour) again—specifically to tease her—and he laughs the exact same way, there, too!

(It’s also implied, there, that Sonic gets Amy to chase him, so he seeks out the game just as much as she does.)

Sonic’s response can still read as distinctly neutral on a romantic level, for those who’d prefer that, but objectively it’s a lot more overtly positive. There is no denying that he enjoys her attention.

So, it’s a rebrand. For sure. But I actually find this to be a lot more wholesome? Zainey Amy™️ (when written well and not over-the-top for comedy like in certain games) absolutely has its appeal and deserves its place in canon, but the idea of Amy literally being unable to contain her love for Sonic and her compliments bubbling over is very cute to me. I also find it more powerful and significant because she’s finding her words to express her love instead of just reacting. It’s more thoughtful and reads as more genuine, as a result.

It’s different, but in my opinion, not bad! She’s not boring. She’s still giddy, passionate, loving, and more compassionate than she’s ever been. And Sonic is more accepting (enticed, even) as a result.

[hussyknee]

Applying a conservative estimate of four indirect deaths per one direct death9 to the 37 396 deaths reported, it is not implausible to estimate that up to 186 000 or even more deaths could be attributable to the current conflict in Gaza. Using the 2022 Gaza Strip population estimate of 2 375 259, this would translate to 7·9% of the total population in the Gaza Strip

(Source: The Lancet)

The Lancet is one of the oldest and highest impact peer-reviewed medical journals in the world. Deliberate undercounting of deaths is a key feature of genocides.

The Electronic Intifada estimated it at 193,000 a few days before.

The reported number of martyrs on Wednesday this week was 37,718. It’s important to note that this number only includes martyrs who have been identified by name and civil ID number through the beleaguered health ministry in Gaza. Given the breakdown of reporting systems due to heavy destruction of infrastructure and personnel, this number, even with its limited parameters, is a gross underestimation. Based on more accurate figures of approximately 370 people killed daily, multiplied by 264 days of genocide, the actual number is closer to 97,680 martyred. (Per OCHA estimate of 15 martyrs per hour: Over the course of 264 days, which amounts to 6,336 hours, this number would roughly be 95,040).

...

Based on these estimates, both conservative and data-driven, respectively, the actual figures are likely as follows: • 377,280 buildings destroyed completely or partially • 95,040—97,680 martyred • 221,760 injured • 24,750 dead or dying from starvation • 42,000 missing (presumed dead, kidnapped by Israel’s occupying forces or possibly trafficked). The following ranges represent conservative estimate or lower range of data-driven population estimates: • 17,050—94,049 with chronic illnesses dead from lack of medication • 14,408—255,985 dead from epidemics resulting from Israel’s assault This means the actual number of dead is closer to 194,768—511,824 people, with 221,760 injured. And counting.

(Source: The Electronic Intifada)

Israel surrounded the last remaining hospital in the Gaza Strip with tanks and ordered it evacuated and shut down 12 hours ago.

If you still want to believe the pussy-footing toll of counted and reported deaths that can stand up to Western propaganda, after nine fucking months of dropping more than 70,000 tons of bombs on a 41 kilometer strip, exceeding World War II bombings in Dresden, Hamburg, London combined, rather than the statistical breakdown of humanitarian orgs and medical journals, then have at. There's no point telling you to believe the victims and question your own biases towards your own heavily propagandized establishments.

But if you can do basic math, then please use The Lancet's estimated death toll. The massacre of 8% of the Gaza Strip is a conservative estimate and still apocalyptic. Resist all attempts to diminish it. Remember that this is the result of the United States's obstruction of justice and open-handed abetting of genocidaires. Keep fighting.

Btw:

While the war itself is estimated to have generated between 420,265 and 652,552 tonnes of carbon dioxide equivalent (CO2e) so far—equivalent to burning more than 1.5 million barrels of oil—this figure soars to more than 61 million tonnes when pre-and post-war construction and reconstruction are included. This is more than the annual emissions of 135 individual nations—but there is currently no legal obligation for militaries to report or be held accountable for their emissions.

(Source: EuroNews)

[bloomzone]

GLOW UP DIARY:#3 the power of self-care

"If you don't have a dream, that's okay too. It's possible not to have a dream. If you're happy, that's all that matters"

-Suga

heyy sparkles...so today it's the third part of the glow up and thank you so so much T-T for the support in the second part

Edit: haircare,nail care is for apparence part I focused on routines,skincare,body care in this part (I'm so busy these days T-T<3)

© bloomzone

#3 SELF CARE

✉️ : Self-care includes activities like eating well, exercising, and relaxing to maintain physical, mental, and emotional health. It's essential for managing stress and enhancing overall well-being.

Self-care is essential for maintaining balance

﹙ ✿ ﹚Taking care of yourself is about finding simple, comforting routines that make you feel good. Start with small steps, like taking a relaxing bath,do ur skincare , journal...Prioritize these moments and remember that they are just as important as anything else on your to-do list. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and choose activities that genuinely make you happy. Listen to your body and give yourself the rest and care you need. By focusing on what brings you comfort and joy, you'll create a self-care routine that feels natural and rewarding.

HOW TO START SELF-CARE ?

Have a routine: It is really important to have a routine because if not you could have bad sleeping, be tired all day, get boredeasily, won't be able to finish responsibilities, it can bring you bad self esteem, unmotivated and in general is a complete mess.

Example of a routine (by me)

summer version.

⏰( wake up at 4:30am to pray ifajr if u are a Muslim :) )

♡ ﾟwake up at 9:30am

♡ ﾟmake bed

♡ ﾟdrink water

♡ ﾟmorning stretch 15min

♡ ﾟskincare/quick shower

♡ ﾟbreakfast

♡ ﾟhelp mom if needed

♡ ﾟphone time

⏰(pray duhr if u are Muslim:) )

♡ ﾟlunch time

♡ ﾟnap

♡ ﾟfull workout

⏰(pray asr if you are Muslim:) )

♡ ﾟstart learning a language,see friends or simply watch a movie

⏰(pray Maghrib if you are a Muslim :) )

♡ ﾟhelp mom cooking dinner

♡ ﾟwash dishes

♡ ﾟcheck social

♡ ﾟskincare

♡ ﾟget ready for bed

♡ ﾟsleep at 10pm

Things u can add to your routine :

cleaning ur room

- wardrobe

- desk

cooking

- I will share my fav recipes in next blogs 🤫

set goals for next year

- academic goals

- life goals ( saving money,body goal ...)

sunday self care day routine

summer version

⏰( salat al fajr + reading Quran for Muslims)

♡ ﾟwake up at 9am

♡ ﾟdo ur bed

♡ ﾟmeditation

♡ ﾟskincare + face mask

♡ ﾟjournal/affirmations

♡ ﾟice coffee/tea

♡ ﾟmorning stretch 15min

♡ ﾟbreakfast

♡ ﾟhelp in cleaning

♡ ﾟwear ur fit

♡ ﾟgo shopping

⏰(pray duhr in masjid if u luv to :) )

♡ ﾟlunch

♡ ﾟfull workout

📍everything shower time

- hair mask

- shave

- body care

📍after shower

- dry your hair

- clean/paint ur nails

- wear ur comfy pyjamas

♡ ﾟwatch a movie

⏰(pray Maghrib if you are Muslim)

♡ ﾟquality time with ur family/friends

📍get ready for bed

- write down what u achieve this week

- affirmations

⏰(pray Isha if u are Muslim)

♡ ﾟskincare

♡ ﾟget ur beauty sleep at 10pm

SELF-CARE BODYCARE AND SKINCARE

1.skincare

﹙ ✿ ﹚ I know that we all love shopping and buying things because it's pink or aesthetic or it's just because it's a famous products NO NO this wroong u don't need to buy a whole truck of innisfree products because it's pink or glow recipe buy products that will work for u if u have acnes and ur face hurt everytime u try to sleep or u wanna just wash it,visit a dermatologist he will give the product that ur skin need to heal again. (As a girl with strict parents hhh they didn't let me go I'm 16yo btw),so I start to buy random products until I found the perfect one for my skin (I have a terrible TERRIBLE oily skin)+ if u are 12-18 don't use serum's without permission of doctor u will just broke ur skin texture I bought ordinary serum and it just make my skin worst + it's an expansive sht ☠️

How to get rid of acne ?

♡ ⠀skincare secrets !

⊹ ‧avoid junk food

⊹ ‧fresh vegetables and fruits

⊹ ‧icing your face

⊹ ‧clay mask (recommended by me)

⊹ ‧avoid using a lot of skincare products

⊹ ‧ simplify ur skincare routine ( cleanser,toner, moisturizer)

⊹ ‧get 7-8 hour of sleep

⊹ ‧rice water

⊹ ‧don't sleep with ur make up

⊹ ‧stay hydrate

⊹ ‧change ur pillowcase (one in a week)

⊹ ‧ cucumber slice as a mask

⊹ ‧don't touch ur face

♡   Item you need

⊹ ‧pimples patches

⊹ ‧silicone facial cleaner (for deep cleaning)

⊹ ‧headband (keep ur hair up always)

2.BODY CARE

﹙ ✿ ﹚ Taking care of your body is a vital part of feeling your best, both inside and out. A good body care routine can boost your confidence and help you embrace your natural beauty. Body care is also about self-love and taking time for yourself amidst a busy schedule remember girlie every skin type is beautiful, and finding the right routine can enhance your natural glow.

♡   Body care secrets

⊹ ‧ don't shave (ur body)early until u are in the right age (+17) , if u are not a hairy girl no need to shave :)

⊹ ‧ shower everyday (don't wash ur hair )

⊹ ‧ choose the right body wash (nivea,vaseline >>)

⊹ ‧ stay hydrate avoid junk foods to protect ur body skin from pimples

⊹ ‧Exfoliate your skin 1-2 times a week to remove dead skin cells and promote cell renewal. Use a gentle scrub suitable for your skin type (coconut oil brown sugar >>)

💌 : How to shave ur leg and have a smooth soft skin

1- soak ur leg in warm water for (3 to 5 min) to make ur skin ready

2- use ur fav body scrub and exfoliate your body from death skin

3- use something like body oil or shaving cream and find a good razor at least 3 blades (venus Gillette is on top)

4- shave with slow don't be harsh,long strock and don't forget to wash the razor everytime

5- after drying ur legs use any lotion u like to give the skin the extra moisture + using baby oil to avoid strawberry legs

⊹ ‧ Choose body care products that are free from harsh chemicals and fragrances Opt for natural and gentle ingredients stay healthy girlie

⊹ ‧ avoid very hot water

⊹ ‧ Use natural oils like coconut oil, almond oil, or jojoba oil for deep hydration. Apply them after a shower or use them as an overnight treatment for extra softness.

♡   item you need

⊹ ‧ dry brush

⊹ ‧ loofah

⊹ ‧ natural soap (for ur 🐱)

⊹ ‧ razor pack

⊹ ‧ body scrub

⊹ ‧ body wash

⊹ ‧ africain exfoliating nets

⊹ ‧ body moisturizer

⊹ ‧ Shea butter

⊹ ‧ Epsom salt

ıllı ⠀ : ⠀Self-care is essential for every girl to nurture her mind, body, and spirit. Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Whether it's indulging in a relaxing bath, practicing mindfulness, or simply taking a break to read a good book, these moments help recharge your energy and boost your confidence. Remember, you deserve to feel good and be happy. Prioritizing self-care allows you to show up as your best self in every area of your life. So, take a deep breath, put yourself first, and watch how everything else falls into place. Ilvy sm ⠀ ♡ ⠀ !!

© bloomzone

[helplesslypurple77]

Day 1-Wet dreams-Illumi/Reader

Notes:  btw since you also come from a famous assassin clan your last name is Yomi(shadow in japanese, but it doesnt really mean your japanese or any aithnecity) and your parents make a brief appearance. I modeled them barely after my own parents but you can pretty much put any parents over them lol

Title from ‘You Can't Hurry Love' by The Supremes

...

Illumis knew you hated his guts. You walked with purpose from room to room, location to location, perfectly made up and neat in a kimono. You chatted with your assistants, handed out raises generously to the butlers, and laughed and smiled in the garden with your friends. But you barely spared him a glance. All you could muster was a small, fake smile, and maybe if you were in a good mood, a simple greeting. 

“Hello, husband.”

You ground out the word ‘husband’ like it was a curse. Illumi would simply blink, and return your greeting.

“Hello, my wife.”

You would smile that fake plastic smile that always managed to appear when he was near, and remove yourself from the situation as fast as possible. Illumi didn't mind your attitude. He had no attachments to you, you were simply a woman his parents had picked. He knew you hadn't volunteered for this, and so he simply let your barbs roll off his shoulders and carried on with his day. He was sure he had no interest in you. 

His parents had raised him not to fall for pretty women with pretty smiles. Pretty smiles that were never tossed his way. 

He remembered so clearly your first meeting. Years ago, when you were both younger, when you were softer, when you smiled at him.

♡♡♡

“Straighten your collar.” Mother said. Illumis back twitched, reaching up to fiddle with the black collar of his kimono, pulling the white of his undershirt slightly, so it peaked over the outer collar. He felt stiff and trapped. And hot. Mother had combed his shoulder length hair neatly, so it fell prettily around his neck. Illumi felt like a bird, forced to preen for the sake of his parents. eighteen was too young to be engaged. Illumi frowned, brows furrowing across his pale skin.

“Tell me mother,” He asks. “Why must I do this? Why not Miluki.”

His mother cocks an eyebrow, standing across the small waiting room of their house. They are waiting for the guests.

“You're the most presentable of my children,” Kikyo said, straightening the hem of her dark purple kimono. Her eye visor blinked. “Straighten your back and try to make a good impression. That wedding Kimono was your fathers.”

Illumi raises his arm to run a hand through his hair, but freezes and Kikyo's glare. He lowers his hand back down slowly. Kikyo folds her hands delicately across her lap

“You know how important this alliance is, Illumi.” She scolds, “her family will be a vital asset.”

Illumi nods stiffly, adjusting his black haori. He doesn't want to marry. He doesn't want someone tying him down. 

“Excited, son?” Silva has arrived, Zeno grumbling behind him. Illumi shakes his head.

“I don't want to marry,” He protests. SIlva laughs, landing a hand on Illumis shoulder.

“I know, but this match is quite important to the future of the Zoldyck clan.” He explains, patting Illumi gently on the shoulder. “Name is a powerful woman, whose talent will certainly be useful in the future. Not to mention an alliance with her family is ideal for us.”

Illumi nods obediently, absorbing the information. But nothing they say truly makes him want to do this. Silva laughs.

“Don't be too upset, son. I hear she's very beautiful.” He says with a chuckle, giving Illumi one last pat on the back, and moving towards Kikyo. She eyes him up and down, taking in his work attire, and sighs a great, gusty sigh. Before she can complain, the main door opens with a slam. They're here.

Kikyo stands tall, Silva next to her, Illumi beside him, Zeno on his other side. They stand in a neat line. Awaiting their visitors.

Illumi can make out five figures. Two silent handmaidens clothed in dark blue kimonos, sharp eyes demurely pointed down. Their obviously trained bodyguards. They walk in front of the three figures, deceptive smiles on their faces. 

Next come two older figures. A tall, muscled man, who glares around the room. And a shorter woman, who smiles almost too kindly. They must be your parents, the leaders of your family. And before the, almost surrounded, almost protected, is a figure clothed in white and red.

You stand out brilliantly against the blues and blacks of the backgrounds, the white and red of your kimono almost glowing in the lamplight. But what strikes Illumi silent, is your face. You are beautiful. Illumi feels a weird beating in his chest. Your eyes dart nervously from person to person, never quite landing on him. Illumi fights down the odd desire to move forward, to do something. He doesn't know what. Kikyo is the first to speak

“How lovely to meet you,” She says, moving forward. Your mother moves in return, smiling at Kikyo and moving forward. The adults dissolve into pleasantries. Illumi stays still, as the room springs into motion around him. All he can see is you across from, glowing and clothed in white. Spit is gathering in his mouth, and Illumi gulps it down and moves forward.

“Hello,” He says when he stands before you. He sounds like a robot. You smile shyly, ribbons of hair falling down around your shoulders.

“Hi,” You say, offering a hand. Illumi looks at it. Your hand is small and delicate, with small rounded nails. They shimmered in the light. Illumi had the urge to kiss it. You frown.

“Not one for handshakes?” You ask, disguising your disappointment with a small laugh. Illumi frowns, grabbing your hand as it recedes.

“No!” Illumi gets out a little too eargerly. You look up at him, confusion in your pretty eyes. Illumi takes your hand in his own.

Your hand is soft and the back of his neck and his ears suddenly hot. You giggle nervously as Illumi gently lowers your hand, and a pretty flush graces your cheeks. Illumi almost preens like a bird. You liked him. He liked that. He liked you. 

“We haven't introduced ourselves properly,” You say, a smile gracing your painted lips, Illumis eyes follow the movement. He feels strangely hungry. 

“Yes,” He says. You wait, and when the silence continues, you speak first.

“I am Name Lastname, oldest daughter of the Yomi family.” You say. Your name is as pretty as you. Illumi nods.

“Illumi Zoldyck, eldest son of the Zoldyke family.” He says. You smile again, posture relaxing a little. Illumis eyes catch on the flash of skin as your collar slides down a bit. He can see a hint of collarbone.

“It's nice to meet you, Illumi,” You say. He likes the way your mouth forms the syllables of his name.

“You too, Name.” He returns. He still sounds like a robot, but as you smile, he feels himself relax a bit. The adults are still chatting around you, in a small circle as they talk about anything and everything, but all he can see is you in front of him. Suddenly, marriage doesn't sound so bad.

“Do you, um, want a tour?” he asks, his voice cracking a bit, he hopes you don't notice. A grin lights up your face, and you nod happily.

Oh yes,” You say, “i'd love one.”

Illumi almost smiles, but instead offers his arm. For a moment, he worries your won't take it. You’ll scoff and roll your eyes and leave to marry a much nicer boy—

Your hand wraps around his arm, heating his cold skin. Illumi shivers. As he leads you through the archway and deeper into the house, he can feel your presence next to him. The scent of your perfume lingers in the air. Intoxicating. Illumi feels hot, flustered, and emberassed. And for the first time in a while, happy.

“Well, what do we have here.” 

Illumi looks up, already dreading the sight he knows hes gonna see. Sure enough, Hisoka stands before him, wearing jeans and a black tutrleneck and grinning like the cat that got the cream.

Illumi frowns.

“Whose this?” You asks. Your peartched beside him on the couch of the library, hands folded neatly in your lap. Illumi holds back a groan as Hisokas eyes slide to you. His eyes take you in, your pretty face and your white wedding kimono, and he smirks. 

“Yeah Illumi, introduce me to your pretty lady friend.” Hisoka says. You giggle, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. Illumi’s stomach sinks. 

“This is Name, my fiance.” he says. “Name, meet Hisoka.”

“Hi,” You say, offering your hand to shake. Hisoka grins. 

“Positivly enchanted to meet you.” Hisoka says, and grips your hand in his pale fingers, bringing it up to press a kiss to the top. Illumi glares. You giggle again, as the tips of Hisokas red hair brushes your wrist. Illumi glares harder. After what feels like forever, Hisoka recedes, and Illumi watches your hand fall back into your lap. 

“So, Illumi.” Hisoka says, plopping between the two of you. “You didint tell me you were engaged.”

“In his defense, we just got engageed today.” You say, and Illumi is certain he can spot a blush across your cheeks. He curses Hisoka as you continue. “Are you guys close?”

“No.” Illumi says. HIsoka pouts very fakely.

“How rude.” He says, and illumi digs his finger into Hisokas side as the man leans over, stage whispering into your ear.  “Im his only friend. Hes embarrassed.”

“I see,” You say with a laugh. “How old are you Hisoka?”

“20.” Hisoka says, swiping his hair away from his face. 

“Oh, your older than us, huh.” You say, smiling much to nicely for Illumis liking. You sound like your enjoying yourself, and that makes him feel weird. 

“You must be the same age as Illumi?” Hisoka asks. He continues at your nod. “Your so pretty and socialable, hes lucky..”

You laugh. Hisoka winks. Illumi jabs a second finger into Hisoka’s side.

“Thanks, your handsome too.” You say. “And very funny. Both of you are.”

Illumi digs a third finger into Hisoka’s side, but it only seems to egg him on. He only shoots Illumi a gleeful grin, then turns back to you.

“Why thank you, dear—”

“Im going to talk to him alone for a moment.” Illumi interrupts him, yaking him by his hair and dragging him away.

“Alright.” You say, waving them away with a smile.

Hisoka blows you a kiss, and Illumi yanks his hair harder, dragging him around a nearby bookcase, and release the hair like it had burned him. Hisoka is grinning from ear to ear.

“You jealous.” He says

“No!” Illumi shouts, then looks around frantically, before shaking his head. “No.” He repeats more calmly.

“Dont be embarrassed,” Hisoka says, leaning against the bookcase. “Its only natural to be jealous of me after all.” 

He runs a hand through his hair with a grin. Illumi fake gags. 

“Im not jealous.” Illumi says, doing his best to maintain his eaven tone.

“Oh really” Hisoki says, raising an eyebrow into his hairline. “Can i kiss her then?”

Illumi knows it bait. Hisoka is only doing this to annoy him, or taunt him. He always does shit like this. But he still feels all wierd. Illumi takes a deep breath.

“I dont care.” He says, putting on his best performance. “I dont even like her.”

“Oh yeah?” Hisoka asks, folding his arms. “You dont think shes pretty?”

“She’s unremarkable.” Illumi suplies, Hisoka doesnt look like he believes him, so he tries his best. “In everything, from looks to talents, she seems unfit to marry into this family!”

Hisoka’s eyebrow creeps higher and higher, but Illumi maintains his blank stair until he with a sigh. Theres silence for a moment, until Hisoka pushes off the bookcase, 

“If you really dont mind, i think i will kiss her.” He says, walking back the way they came. 

Illumi moves suddenly, grabbing Hisokas arm in a death grip. Hisoka turns around with a smirk, and sudcenly, Illumi understands hes been got.

“So you do li—”

“Shut up.” Illumi grinds out. “Dont tell.”

Hisoka grins. “Sure.”

♡♡♡

You never were friendly with him after that. You had vanished when he and Hisoka had returned, and you were cold and standoffish in the times he saw you, both before the wedding and in the two years that had passed after it. Illumi didint mind. Not a bit.

His chest feels a bit weird. Illumi brings his hand up, feeling above his heart. Maybe he was injured on todays mission.

He should check that out when he gets back to his quarters. Illumi walks down the long hallway, pausing for a split second in front of the only other door. Your door. You wouldnt want to see him. Still Illumi feels the urge to open your door, go in and see what you were doing. You were probably getting ready for bed. Illumi should just go to his room. With a huff of breath Illumi continues down the hallway and closes his door behin him. His chest is hurting more. He shrugs of his top, pocking at the skin over his heart. Oddly enough, theres no wound, only a few minor cuts on his side and abs. 

“Illumi? I need to speake with you.” He hears your voice, coming from the connecting door between your room and his. His heart suddenly feels better.

“Come in.” He says. You enter, closing the door behind you with a creak. The hinges must be rusted. Your eyes skan him up and down taking in his half naked state.

“Why are you shirtless.” You say. Your ears are red, you must be hot.

Illumi gestures at his chest. “Injuries. What did you need to speak with me about?”

You ignore the first part, moving forward with worry. “Your injured?” You say, looking around the room. “Wheres your first aid kit. Ill help.”

“Theres no need.” Illumi protests. 

You glare. “Am i that incompetent? Just let me do it.” you say, hands on your hips. Your wearing some satin nightgown thing. Its black, and the silky fabric stops high up on your thighs, fluttering distractingly. The fabric draws his eyes to the unbleamashed skin of your thighs. 

You tap your foot on the floor. “First aid box?”

“In the bedside drawer.” Illumi settles back onto the bed with a sigh, you march over, first aid box in your vengeful hands and plop it down onto the bed. Rummaging through it, you find some alcohol and dab it onto a cotton pad. Illumi feels your breath on his skin as you bed over, disinfecting his first wound. He feels weird.

“You wanted to talk to me?” He prompts, ignoring the strange feelings in his gut. The silk of your nightgown slips a little, a black strap sliding down one sholder. You move it back up. Illumi moves his eyes from the movement. 

“Oh yeah,” You say, gentle hands placing a bandaid on his wound. “I had tea with Kikyo this afternoon.”

Illumi frowns. Kikyo loves you, and always makes sure to assure him hes lucky to have you. Whenever the two of you have tea, its sure to prelude an angry summon and admonishment. His mother believed he wasnt working hard enough on your relationship. Illumi knew you would prefer he just leave you alone. His mother always rambled on about how you were hurt, and he was a fool. Illumi was not a fool.

“Fun.” Illumi says. You move to disinfect another wound.  “How is she.”

“Good. She wants grandchildren.” You say. Your neck is also red. Illumi coughs.

“Are you hot?” Illumi asks. You frown in confusion.

“No?” You say. You look up, and Illumi watches the lace slide across the top of your boobs. He digs a hand into his thigh, trying to mute the arousal starting to creep through his body. He deosnt know much of sexual activity, but he certainly knoews this feeling. 

“Ok.” Illumi says. You put one of his brothers discarded little mermaid bandaids on the cut under his left pec. He shivers involuntarily when your nails scrape his skin. “I can get grandchildren.”

You jerck up, a shocked expression on your face. “What?” Your face is flushed, the cotton pad dangling close to falling from your hand. He feels himself swell up, body heating with the things he had implied, and prays you dont notice. Illumi frowns his, heat gathering in his face. 

“I can go steal some.” He explains, “Hisoka meantoned a friend of his who—”

“No Illumi.” You say, laughing a little. Illumi is proud he made you laugh. You move back towards him with the cotton pad as you continue. “How is Hisoka doing?”

“Fine.” Illumi says. He feels all grumply all of a sudden, and his heart is hurting again. “Hes fighting at Heavens Arena appearently.”

“That sounds perfect for him.” You say with another chuckle. Illumi feels his fingers dig into his palm, and relaxes them slowly. The arousal, which had faded slightly at Hisoka’s name, comes back in full force as your hands return and you lean down. Illumi gets and eyefull of your boobs, cupped in a plane black braw under the black lace. He looks up abruptly, begging you dont notice. You would probably never talk to him again if he made his arousal obvious. Thankfully your too busy tending to his wounds to notice.

“Anyway, Kikyo gave me something to give to you.” You say, your hand pressing a third bandaid, this one of lego batman, onto his abs. You smooth over it, hands lingering for what feels like hours on his abs. Illumi resists the urge to grab your wrists and guid them a few inches lower, to the part of him that really, really wants it. You sigh, pulling back

“There, all done.” You say.

Illumi feels both let down and relieved as you pull away, as your scent fades away with your body. Suddenly, you’re jerked to a stop.

“Illumi?” You say, glaring down pointedly. For a moment, Illumi fears you’ve discovered his obvious arousal. You’ll probably look at him in disgust or worse, storm from the room and nevver talk to him again. Illumi follows your eyes, and finds his hand has reached out to grab your wrist. He lets it go.

“What did you have to give to me?” he asks, pulling the offending hand back into his lap, trying to subtly cover any hints of his arousal.

“Oh right,” You say. “I forgot it in my room.” 

You move through the door again, and Illumi finds his eyes drawn to the sway of satin over your ass. He curses his eyes, and takes a moment to at least try to banish all signs of arousal before you retur n. 

“Here,” You say. In your hand is a vhs tape. “She said you should watch it.”

Illumi takes the tape and drops it thoughtlessly onto the bed beside him. You turn, moving back towards the door. Illumi feels the odd urge not to let you leave. Its probably the arousal talking.

“Wait.” He says impulsive. Your turn.

“Yes?” You ask, tapping a foot on the floor. “What else?”

Illumi frowns helplessly. He feels the strongest urge to keep you here with him. But your glaring at him, and he cant come up with an excuse to stop you from leaving. So he lets you go.

“Nothing.” 

The door slams behind you and his eyes sink to the Vhs tape beside him. Its obviously old, the label worn with age. It says ‘instructional tape,’. Gingerly, Illumi sets the vhs tape on his coffee table, and with sweaty hands, and arousal pumping through his body, goes to change for bed.

♡♡♡

 Your tyring to walk away from him again. Desperation fuiling his fingertips, Illumi reaches for you. If you leave now, through the black hole of a door between your rooms, he knoes he’ll never see you again. Illumi feels his fingers close around your thin wrists, jerking you to a stop. You turn, looking down at the hand wrapped around your wrist.

“What do you want, Illumi?” You ask. The black fabric of your nightgown highlights your skin, and you look so beautiful under the lowlight. Illumi finds himself taking a deep breath.

“Mother wants grandchildren.” He says, voice stilted. You nod, as he continues. “So, we should maker her some.”

You stare at him for a moment, before yanking your arm from his wrists. Illumi almost begs you to stay. You cant go, you cant reject him like this. He doesnt know if he’ll ever recover. But instead of rejecting him, you bring your hand up, tipping the strap of your night gown down your shoulder. Illumi watches as the black fabric slinks down your body, hugging your every curve as it slides down until it falls off your hips and hits the floor without a sound. Your left clothed only in your simple black bra and matching panties. Illumi feels his dick swelling with exitement in his pants as he reaches out, hands shaking to grip your waist delicately. He feels as if you might break if he grips to hard, or you might leave if he holds you too soft. You smile at him.

“I thought you’d never agree.” You say, a vision before him. Illumi feels the urge to comfort you. Gingerly, stifly, he pulls you into a hug. Your body is so much warmer than his, your temperature leaking off your skin and sinking into his own. He can smell your scent to clearly he almosts tastes it. 

“Ill do whatever you want.” Illumi says truthfully, and before the embarrassment sinks in, he pulls back enough to press a kiss to your lips.

Illumi has only ever kissed one girl. Ounce. On a dare from Hisoka. When he was thirteen. So its safe to say he doesnt have the most experience. He can tell you dont either, but that fine. You’ll figure it out together. The first press of lips is simple, just your lips colliding softly. And then the little knowledge Illumi had read begins to kick in and he moves his lips against yours. You smile against him, hands gripping his muscled shoulders as he winds his own arms around your bare waist. Your skin is so hot, hot like your breath as it collides hits his lips when the two of you pull back. 

You step backwards drawing him forward until your bug hits the bed and the two of you tumble onto it with a thud. You giggle a little, and move back in for another kiss. He can feel his body reacting to your touch, to your kiss, and as you girp his bare shoulders, he bites back a groan. He wants you so bad, he practically achs for it. 

You pull away from his lips, reaching around your back to undo the strange clasp that holds your braw together. Illumi watches in awe as you tosse it to the side, followed by your underwhere. 

“Look Illumi,” You say, grabbing his hand and tracing it down. Down your chest, through the valley of your boobs. Down your abdomen and navel and through the hair below to find something. Illumi watches in fascination as you press his fingers into a wet heat. “I want you so bad.”

Your back arches off the bed, body curving with what seams like pleasure as a small sigh escapes from your lips. Illumi feels himself twitch.

“Can i put it in?” He says, somehow sounding even more emotionless than usual. You nod, letting go of his wrist to bring your own hands to his crotch, pawing at the bulge in his pants. Illumi fights down another groan, shedding his pants and quickly as possible. Your lying on your back when he gets back, your legs propped up, and grinning. Illumi carefully grips himself, and concentrates on finding the prize you had shown him before. The wet heat is easy to find again, and Illumi carefully lines himself up before pressing himself inside.

Your mouth opens in a moan of his name, and Illumi almost lets go as he feels what must be heaven for the first time. He goes as slowly as possible, as your hands scrabble, gripping his wrists, the sheets beneath you, the nipple of your boobs until hes fully sinside of you, body between your spread legs, hands digging into the comforter on either side of you.

Strands of hair are caught in the sweat of his back, while others tumble down to brush your boobs. Illumi lets out a small groan. 

“Move,” You say. You must see his look of confusion, because you grin up through eyes hazy with arousal. “Grab my waist and thrust in and out.”

Illumi obeys, watching as your back arches, and your eys close in what must be pleasure. Its addictive to watch you, his eyes darting back and forth between your face and the places where your bodies connect. The world around him is hazy, your the focus. You always have been. The pleasure in his body is building. He feels like a chord is wrapping nots in his gut, and its going to snap. As if to match him, you grip his wrists.

“Almost there baby.” You moan. Illumi’s hips stutter as you continue. “Kiss me.”

Illumi feels himself close to loosing control, and with the last bit of his sanity, bends down to kiss your lips—

He wakes up tangled in his sheets, with the words ‘I love you’ on his lips and a wet spot staining his pants. 

After a cold shower and a long thought, Illumi decides that maybe its time to woo his wife. He sets off down the hall with his usual blank expression, but fi you looked close, there was a small bounce in his step.

.......

Endnotes: yaya first day done! btw i think the fanfic writer curse got me too, a bunch of person stuff was happening and i was already upset and i was preparing for kinktober...

and then BAM!!!

my grandma died!!!

btw if stuff is a little late thats why, cause im also sewing the dress im gonna wear, because she used to sew(im actually using her old machine)

anway, enjoy your smut dosage!!

[meirimerens]

just remembered this yt short i once had the misfortune of coming across where an allegedly certified ob-gyn said with her whole chest women didn't start becoming menopausal "until 200 years ago". we have testimonies of menopausal women from 1250 BC btw. the ancient greeks, known misogynists, knew of menopause. multiple french queens from the Carolingien dynasty (750-985AD) lived to be over 50, including Gerberg of Saxony who lived to 71. the wide-spreading use of use of hand-thrown hunting projectiles during the early upper paleolithic circa 40,000BC (and likely earlier) is thought to have lengthened the lifespan in such ways that the "grandparents" generation was born, and a more important place for post-reproductive-aged women made. but sure. 200 years ago.

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "What a beautiful flower you are"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read a few words reminding you of how strong, worthy and important you are through every step of your journey. remind yourself of how flower can stand up in the rain and how they may grow through concrete. no matter what is going on, remember that at the end of the day you are always the best, strongest and most valuable flower around at any given time. you can't compare with anyone else, cause you're unique.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life. readings do not substitute real life experience nor professionals/doctors advices.

(photos found on unsplash)

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1 2 3 - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 1

You make beautiful things grow around whatever negative may happen. You find the positive side in anything that happens and know how to start all over again from anything, trying to make it better. You welcome and nurture what hurts, you transform it in seeds that one day will give life to beautiful flowers just like you. I think you help a lot especially people around you in this process of seeing and finding a positive side, a different side from which to look at what happens and what has happened. You give new povs and new life to scraps and past (it could also be something you like to do creatively/practically, btw). I think those coming in touch with you are deeply changed and inspired by you. You probably forget to use this beautiful habit of yours for yourself too. Please, include yourself into this. You're as deserving of beautiful things as others. Nurture your own pain too, and do anything you can to make it grow into something beautiful and bright as you. And don't close off from others, don't hide your pain from those who'd love to help you. Let them do it for you. You deserve as much as you give away.

song: obsessed | mariah carey (don't be overly obsessed in helping others to the point of codependency, help yourself as well)

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pile 2

You may have experienced some difficult relationships (eg. family, love, friends, colleagues...) and now you kind of buildt a multi-layered wall around your heart so that people won't be able to make you suffer/betray you again. And yes it's hard for people to get in and hurt you but also to love you. And yes it may make you feel strong and in control but I think you may be also struggling a lot because of this. Being so overprotective of yourself, despite ofc understandable (it's a defense mechanism), is making you feel lonely too because it's blocking your connections from growing. You've been through a lot and you're still here but it's not because of your walls that you made it through. It's because of the love that pulse inside of you. Have a talk with your emotions, with your wounded ego, and realize that not everyone is here to hurt you. You're very much hurting yourself first by not letting others in in fear of something that may never happen. You can survive anything, you can defend yourself, you can call people out or ask for clarifications. It's not you the naive/"wrong" person if you trust others and they let you down or betray you. You cannot control what others do with what you give them, nor you're responsible of/guilty for that. Come back to you, master your emotions.

song: pure shores | all saints

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pile 3

I think at times you're confident and well but other times you let your self doubt come in between and make you fear you're saying or doing something bad? Ruining something or the day of someone else? Like you end up falling easily and fast into this negative mental pattern of being useless and inherently "bad" (guilty? unworthy?). I think it's a matter of growing acquainted with your boundaries, setting some healthy ones and not fear being judged (it may have happened a lot in your life) for them or not being appreciated anymore or abandoned if you stopped pleasing others. We need to respect ourselves too, not just others (and pleasing them is not the same as respecting them anyway: you can disagree/say no and still be respectful). It's like you forget about your worth (it doesn't depend on how good you perform) all of a sudden in fear of being left out. You may feel unsafe in setting your boundaries especially when stressed out (or it just may stress you as said), like you may fear being perceived as rude and left alone. It may be that you got manipulated or gaslighted into feeling always wrong, guilty or bad if you didn't acted as "expected of you". I'm sorry about this: remember you are inherently good and worthy, and you have the right to stand up for yourself. You won't end up alone. Find your inner balance and peace, go slow. You're already perfect.

song: underdog | you me at six