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chugging-antiseptic-dye · 11 days ago

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seventeen as words you can't translate🖋️ :

playlist: aurora album by toneejay

✦ Scoups: Ya'aburnee (Arabic)

▻ Meaning: A way to declare your hope that your loved one will outlive you, as it would be unbearable to live without them.

➔ Ya'aburnee literally means "you bury me" but the depth of its meaning goes beyond literal. When you don't, can't, won't think of a future without the other person, you use this word. And who else is the embodiment of Ya'aburnee if not choi seungcheol? He breathes seventeen, lives seventeen, and it's as if he will die without seventeen. There's no one as devoted as scoups.

✦ Jeonghan: Toska (Russian)

Meaning: A sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without a specific cause; a longing with nothing to long for

➔ For me, personally, ever since Jeonghan went to the military, it's as if something is missing in my life (dramatic I know). But it's not just me! Jeonghan is the emotional pillar of svt and we all know it. How many times do you think the members turn around to talk with him and have to remind themselves that he is not here with them? He is also the first one to enlist so everyone feels his absence deeply. It's as if he is in another universe that we can't to go even if we wanted to. Jeonghan, when I catch you, jeonghan.

✦ Joshua: Kilig (Tagalog)

▻ Meaning: The feeling of butterflies in your stomach specifically associated with romance

➔ One of my favourite words in tagalog and one of my favourite persons in svt. The closest literal meaning is 'to shudder' but I think the most accurate english translation is 'the fluttery feeling you get due to love-related things'. And Joshua is so first love coded that I am convinced that everyone looks at him feels their heartbeat speed up me. He, as a person, is made up of all the things I associate love with: softness, gentleness, thoughtfulness, consideration, kindness, and pure loveliness. He is the ultimate kilig feeling: falling in love

✦ Jun: Goya (Urdu)

▻ Meaning: A momentary suspension of disbelief that occurs when fantasy is so realistic that it temporarily becomes reality, usually associated with a story very well told.

➔ Goya has different meaning depending on the context, but, here, I am referring to the word as it is used in literature. It's not so much as a word but rather it is a concept. When you can almost 'taste' a piece of art because it's so vivid, then it's 'as if' (goya) it were real. And I think Jun fits this word quite well cause it's 'as if' he was real. Most of the time he doesn't feel like a real person to me. He is someone who is so ambitious and yet so kind. Someone who will keep mum about their sufferings but do everything they can to distract you from yours. Someone who works like an ox day and night yet takes the time to appreciate every little thing. We don't deserve jun. Not even a little.

✦ Hoshi: Ré Nao (Chinese)

▻ Meaning: A place or situation that is 热闹 (ré nao) is not only fun and lively. It also has a special vibe that makes everyone want to be there.

➔ The literal meaning of ré nao is “lively” or “bustling.” But it's more so about a vibe. Imagine that moment with your friends or family when you guys are out in public, in a crowded scene, like a flower market or the night stalls, and everyone around you is having fun and you are at peace yet full of joy. Contentment at the liveliness and the feeling that everyone is joining in to make it fun is approximately the closest meaning of ré nao and that's so hoshi. He is what makes bss and svt so fun. Once he steps in a practice room, it gets brighter in that instant. Hoshi makes everything full of life and everyone feels a little more alive, a little more in love with life. He is unlike any other idol. You can't mimic that jest for life even if you try.

✦ Wonwoo: Prozvonit (Czech)

▻ Meaning: Ringing somebody’s phone once so that they call you back.

➔ I think wonwoo's charm is that at first he seems unassuming (even, stoic) but the more you know about seventeen the more he reels you in. In that sense, he is 'prozvonit'. Like ringing someone's phone so that they will call back, a glance or look at wonwoo will have you double back and fall into the rabbit hole of falling for him. His playfulness, cheekiness, and emotional sensitivity is the best thing about him.

✦ Woozi: Commuovere (Italian)

▻ Meaning: A heartwarming story that moved you to tears.

➔ To me, Jihoon is a story that never ends. Every song of his is a story straight out of "one thousand and one nights" and each of them leave me brawling. Whether it's the concept or the melody or the lyrics, each song has a tiny bit of his soul. Jihoon touches not only my heart but the very essence of what makes me, me. And I am convinced that is true for most carats. He is both the art and the artist and deserves all the nice things the multiverse has to offer.

✦ Dokyeom: Retrouvailles (French)

▻ Meaning: The happiness of meeting again after a long time.

➔ Our sunshine, dokyeom! His ability to put a smile on anyone's face needs to be researched in a case study format. He is so humble, down to earth, and funny that even if it's your first time seeing him on a screen, you will feel that you have known him forever. Dokyeom is always a sunshine, both in his personality and also as the light in everyone's life. Even if you go wayyy back to svt's debut time, you will see the same bright grin which can brighten up your day, night, and universe.

✦ Mingyu: Wabi-Sabi (Japanese)

▻ Meaning: Finding beauty in imperfections

➔ Mingyu is someone who finds beauty in everything, be it an object or experience. His optimistic and hopeful nature helps him see life through rose-coloured glasses and it's one of my favourite things about him. I even bring evidence! Only mingyu could find love in shoelaces *_*. Another evidence is him being an outfit repeater. He clearly loves his clothes and cherishes them. If someone in this world could find beauty in imperfect things, it's him. He always tries to make any and all situations better. The loveliest human.

✦ Minghao: Merak (Serbian)

▻ Meaning: The feeling you get from simple pleasures that adds up to a sense of happiness and fulfilment

➔ Whenever I hear minghao speak in interviews or in livestreams, I think to myself, "Wow, he really got life figured out." Not because of how self-assured he always is but more so why he is that self-assured. He understands what is important in his life and acts accordingly. And that makes him such a simple and unassuming person who appreciates life's small pockets of happiness. He also creates this happiness for himself and his loved ones. Xu minghao is my favourite role model.

✦ Seungkwan: Hyggelig (Danish)

Meaning: A delightfully cozy, intimate moment or thing

➔ The synonym of Hyggelig is 'gemütlichkeit' in german and 'gemytlig' in swedish but it is 'seungkwan' in korean hehe. And it's because whenever seungkwan talks its as if he and the listener are the only person in the room. The same feeling as when you are gossiping with your best friend and giggling into smithereens. The reason behind me calling him 'Hyggelig' is cause seungkwan is a person who treats every person honestly and earnestly. He is genuine in his desire for connection and companionship. It's one of his many good qualities. Someone like him is unique even in the midst of billions of people.

✦ Vernon: Fernweh (German)

▻ Meaning: The feeling of homesickness for a place that you’ve never been to

➔ Vernon always felt like home to me. He is comfort manifested as a person. The understanding and quiet support he always offers to everyone is filled with so much kindness and grace. I just know that everyone who talks with him feels as if they were in their home, in pajamas, sipping on their comfort drink on a sleepy, rainy day. Vernon is always himself and he makes the other people feel okay to be themselves too. He is a home that a lot of people me miss when he is not there.

✦ Chan: Duende (Spanish)

▻ Meaning: A work of art’s mysterious power to deeply move a person

➔ Chan is a person with too much power over svt and carats. His earnestness and dedication to put his best foot forward and to help svt be the best it can be is unbelievable. He is that work of art that will move a person to tears if they take just a glimpse. His sense of rhythm and the art of dancing make him a living masterpiece. The diNOW of kpop indeed.

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violue · 2 months ago

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A bunch of stray, slightly connected thoughts about Viktor the Mage.

We don't know much about him, really. About how different his world was to the one he was able to save.

I assumed initially that this was his original timeline. But it doesn't necessarily have to be. Maybe it was the timeline that caused him the most agony. Maybe it was the timeline where he got the closest to making things right. Maybe it was the timeline he knew would convince Jayce. Maybe it was all of those.

Now, it stands to reason that he always met Jayce even in his original timeline, otherwise he probably wouldn't even know about Jayce or his potential to aid Viktor in his Hextech Journey™. Unless bro burned through so many timelines that he started just trying random "what if THIS person never died" scenarios for random Piltover residents stretching back years… which, maybe. But for now I'll stick with "Viktor knew Jayce Talis in his original timeline".

I think in the original timeline, Jayce's mom died but he survived, made it home (the family is from Piltover) in whatever condition, and he never became a brilliant inventing Man of Progress.

Which could mean Viktor would have originally come to hextech on his own, another way. I wonder what that was like?

He tells Jayce "only you can show me this".

How many other people did he nudge towards hextech and magic before he realized it was Jayce that he needed? Maybe Viktor saw the promise of him even in that first timeline, but too much had gone wrong for Jayce and his intelligence/creativity/bravery/etc was never nurtured to where it should be. But eventually he went back and saved Jayce's mom (and temporarily stopped trimming his fucking fingernails), but things still just didn't go in the right direction.

He starts trying the different runes, exploring these possibilities. He saw Jayce and his entire WORLD die over and over.

(also, if in any of those timelines he worked with Jinx, I bet everything went to hell in a SPECTACULAR fashion)

Where does Viktor the Mage go when his work is finally done? Has he lived a normal lifespan and he jumps back in time and then back to (his empty, lonely) present? Or does he live out each timeline in its entirety, making him hundreds or even thousands of years old?

Viktor The Mage seems to exist uniquely outside of time, and since the world is not overrun with other Viktors trying to correct past mistakes, it feels fair to assume he's the only one.

I wonder if Viktor's illness is there in every timeline. One would think some of his attempts would base around "if I never become ill, I will never take such risks with hextech".

What then was his motivation in those timelines? Did he ever go back and make it so he was never born? If so, who brought the end of the world in those timelines? Was it even WORSE, somehow? Or maybe he couldn't go back and stop himself from being born, because (handwave, gibberish) paradox. Or maybe he didn't think of that. If he had, he'd probably have considered going back and stopping this from happening.

I imagine Viktor trying over and over and over again and having everything still go wrong every time, I imagine there were times that he started to think it was simply his destiny to end the world, always.

There's just a lot of backstory that could exist for this version of Viktor, and I hate that I know NONE OF IT, but it is of course entertaining to wildly speculate.

#arcane #viktor #jayvik #well jayvik was on my mind while typing anyway #jayce talis

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linkspooky · 1 year ago

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GREAT TEACHER, GOJO

For my final commentary on chapter 236, I thought I'd talk about this panel the starter of a million flame wars on twitter dot com. The big controversy is Nanami stating that Gojo fought only for himself without mentioning his students which a lot of people thought was a last minute reversal on Gojo's character, or character regression.

I'm not going to call anyone stupid, or say if you have good teacher Gojo headcanons you're wrong. However, I'd like to point out that Gojo's always been more complicated than most shonen mentors. He's not Kakashi, and he's not Aizawa, and I'd argue the fact that he's not the standard "I'd die to protect my students" mentor we see in shonen manga is what makes him interesting.

The Springtime of Youth

Jujutsu Kaisen is a shonen jump manga that is very aware of the other manga that are running in the same magazine and uses that awareness to play with audience expectations.

To put it simply if you don't want to use words like Deconstruction - if you're reading Jujutsu Kaisen then things are probably not going to go the way you expect them. It's not Naruto, it's not My Hero Academia, it's a little bit like Bleach except characters actually die.

If you expect things to go one way in Jujutsu Kaisen, then you're going to be thrown a curveball. To name some examples briefly before diving into Gojo.

Yuji Itadori is a normal boy protagonist suddenly dragged into the world of the supernatural.

However, everything goes wrong from there. Jujutsu Sorcerers are not heroes. Yuji is told that much from the beginning by Megumi within the first thirteen chapters. The world of Jujutsu Sorcery is not a good place to be, Yuji is initially excited to be a sorcerer and to be a part of this world and then learns that lesson fast. I mean, imagine if Deku was accepted to UA, and then he immediately learned that students at the school die on the regular and all the adults are either terrible selfish people, or if they're not they die too like Nanami because being selfless means sticking your neck out for someone else.

Yuji's not really special in the narrative. He's just a kid who swallowed a finger. He doesn't have a secret technique. We're hundreds of chapters in and he's still just punching people. If he's cornered in a fight he doesn't unlock a secret technique either, he just loses.

Yuji has a superpowered evil side, like the nine tailed fox, or Hollow Ichigo except it's not really his super powered evil side. It's an evil parasite attached to his soul with a will of its ownt hat will manipualte him. Hollow Ichigo and the Kyuubi can escape temporarily and there's usually no consequence. Sukuna escapes twice, the first time he nearly kills Megumi, the second time he kills thousands.

Yuji is kind of like a main character who is not a main character.

If you still believe he's the main character, then you can agree he's punished for thinking he's the main character and therefore things are going to be easy, because nothing is ever easy in Jujutsu Kaisen.

Megumi is a riff on the chosen one. He's supposed to be the Gojo Satoru of his generation, born with the strongest technique that ca even surpass the limitless and he's nowhere near the level he's supposed to be. This is because Megumi has been continually failed by every adult figure all his life, starting with his father who sold him, then Gojo the man who SAVED* him techically but with a big asterisk that he needed to become his student and do jobs for Jujutsu High School otherwise Gojo would just let the Zen'in take him or let them starve I guess. Megumi has no adult figures to rely on, and has been given very little freedom about who or what he wants to be in his life, and therefore he's a very passive, repressed individual who's riddled with insecurities. Megumi doesn't want to be the strongest like Gojo, or like many hero / rival characters in shonen manga. Megumi doesn't even know what he wants to be, because he's never been given any choice in life.

If you don't think Megumi's a deconstruction of any sort of character type, look at those posts on twitter that are like "Look at the black haired depressed shonen boys" and then look at Megumi, he's never actually like any of these boys because he's much deeper and probably closer to being the main character than Yuji is.

Then we get to Gojo who is very unlike all the other mentors in shonen manga.

If Yuji and Megumi are both riffs on a main character, a hero in a world so cynical he's not allowed to play hero and actively punished for it, and a chosen one who doesn't want to be the chosen one then you have Gojo as the mentor who's nothing like the classic mentor.

The problem with mentor characters in fiction is that number one they die a lot (spoiler warning Obi Wan Kenobi dies in Star Wars just so you know) and number two they're not usually the most complex character in the cast.

What is the mentor there for?

To Mentor (duh.)

What this means is they are usually a fully formed adult who can teach a lesson to the main character, who in shonen manga is typically a teenager.

I say they're usually less interesting because stories are about characters changing, or characters learning lessons. A teacher presumably already has learned his lesson. They are usually at the end of their journey and not the beginning, that's why they can offer wisdom to the main characters. They're not usually their own separate characters because of this - a narrative doesn't have time to waste on a character that's not going to change.

Jung had a term for this character, it's called the Wise Old Man.

In Jungian analytical psychology, senex is the specific term used in association with this archetype. Examples of the senex archetype in a positive form include the wise old man or wizard. In the individuation process, the archetype of the Wise old man was late to emerge, and seen as an indication of the Self. 'If an individual has wrestled seriously enough and long enough with the anima (or animus) problem...the unconscious again changes its dominant character and appears in a new symbolic form...as a masculine initiator and guardian, a wise old man, a spirit of nature, and so forth'.

The role of the wise man archetype is to help other people along with their ego development, because usually they are already fully developed individuals.

Obi Wan is the most typical of typical mentors, and he dies in Star Wars because after he finishes teaching Luke he has nothing to do. This is Luke's Hero's Journey. Obi Wan's already happened offscreen, he's at the end of his journey there's no room for change or growth in him because his story purpose is to exist to advise Luke and to do that he needs to be a fully grown adult figure.

The subversion to this when the mentor has their own agenda (Gandalf), or the mentor is as flawed as the main characters themselves and so therefore he has something to learn.

Gojo is kind of a combination of both, like Gandalf he is the mysterious but seemingly all powerful wizard (er... or rather sorcerer) with his own agenda, and he's also practically the fourth member of the main cast who are otherwise all teenagers. In fact, Gojo spells out his agenda in the same panels that everyone uses to constantly assert that Gojo is a good teacher who only wants to protect his students.

He wants to make the Jujutsu World a better place (good) which is why he is raising students so he can turn them into his political allies to make a regime change (hidden agenda).

It's a means justifies the end type scenario. In Gojo's mind the means (raising kids as tools in support of his political agenda) justifies the ends (a better jujutsu world for those children). His motivation is still the same. This is what I think people most often get confused about with Gojo's character. I think he is one hundred percent genuine about wanting a better world.

"I have a dream, I want to reset this crappy Jujutsu World" is his motivation, but not his means. He uses his students as a means to achieve that end. Even if it's purportedly for their sake, he's still using them. I don't even think this is subtext it's text, both Megumi and Yuji call themselves cogs.

"But senpai, what's your function...?"

You could say in this case that the ends don't justify the means. Is Gojo really protecting these kid's youth, if Yuji and Megumi are going around calling themselves cog and acting like they don't matter in the grand scheme of things? In fact the narrative is inviting you to question if Gojo's ends justify his means.

Gojo's ideals can be one hundred percent real, but he can also pick faulty ways of choosing those ideals that fail to live up to them. In fact most people fall short of ideals, that's why they're called ideals. Gojo is taking these kids in because they have strong potential as sorcerers and he wants to recruit them, that's his hidden agenda. It's confirmed in databooks in Yuji and Yuta's case, and even if you don't trust databooks as canon then look at how he treats Megumi.

Megumi is explicitly Gojo's student, not his son. He only intervened in Megumi's situation on the caveat that Megumi work for him. Presumably, if Megumi didn't want to be a sorcerer and just wanted to be a normal kid, Gojo would have either let the Zen'in have him or do nothing. The option of just calling child services and getting someone to foster Megumi until he was older didn't even seem to cross Gojo's mind. There's the help he gives (Food money, rent, protection from the Zen'in) and then the hidden agenda (Don't work for the Zen'in who are my political rivals, you're my student now).

Yet at the same time Gojo is shown going to find Megumi after Geto's defection, probably because of the words he said to Yaga "You can only save those who want to be saved," when he realized it was too late for Geto. Was he intervening earlier for Megumi because he learned from being too late with Geto? Did he think Megumi needed guidance, or did he think Megumi needed protection in his youth so the Jujutsu World wouldn't corrupt him like it did Geto, or did he think he just needed to make it so Megumi was strong so he wouldn't fall behind him because Geto fell so far behind him once Gojo became the strongest. There's ambiguity there, because the hidden agenda is you know... Hidden. That's what I mean with Gojo though, you can look at him from multiple angles, he's not just (I love my students I'd die for them) because that character would only have one purpose in the narrative and that'd be being the perfect mentor who teaches them all the right lessons.

Gojo's not like other mentors, and in fact he's a commentary on the mentors that everyone is always comparing him to and expecting him to be like.

Literally everyone who reads Naruto has the exact same response, "I hate how the manga never talks about how it's a bad thing to send these child soldiers into war, and nobody breaks the cycle."

There are a lot of people unhappy about the same thing in My Hero Academia, "Why does nobody talk about how wrong it is that the adults make these high school students fight on the battlefield."

Well there you go. That's Gojo. His dream is to make it so Jujutsu Society is a place where teenagers can survive until adulthood. His method of doing so is to... raise those teenagers to be stronger than the previous generation, but you know still letting them be child soldiers on the battlefield just stronger ones. He does this because if he's working within the system the his two choices are raise a group of people who can age out and replace the old regime, or just kill everyone at the top.

Everyone complains about how no one talks about the child soldiers in Naruto or My Hero Academia, but here you go, we have a manga that is centered around how messed up it is to send high school students to continually fight these curses before they even turn eighteen. Gojo's sending these kids out there still even if he wants to change things, and it's supposed to be a little messed up and also a contradiction to what his ideals are supposed to be.

Because in My Hero Academia you have characters like Aizawa and Kakashi who are "I will die for my students" but then they just send those teens out to fight in a war, and seem totally fine with that. It's a hole in the writing, but this time it's done on purpose, to ask why these adults are always comfortable sending teenagers out to fight for them?

Jujutsu Kaisen provides two answers, number one the system is inherently corrupt and it sees the youth as cogs because the system is rooted in traditions that keep the elderly in power. Number two, in Gojo's case at least this is exactly what it was like for him growing up as a child. Gojo is just repeating with his students what was done to him, subconsciously.

The reason Nanami said this, and then repeated it in this most recent chapter is Gojo was born to be a Jujutsu Sorcerer. Being a Jujutsu Sorcerer is a highly deadly occupation for everyone else, except for Gojo. Not only that but because he's so good at it, and he's so lauded for it he's built his entire identity around it. Nanami's not just saying that Gojo is selfish, he's also saying that Gojo thinks being a sorcerer is a good thing. It is the end all, be all of Gojo's existence.

He doesn't want to make it so sorcerers don't have to fight, or make it so all cursed energy is gone for the world like Yuki Tsukumo, his dream is actually kind of limited in scope he doesn't want the school days of his students to be destroyed by the outside world the way it was for him and Geto.

Gojo looks at the symptoms and not the cause. Geto defected, Haibara died, Yaga wasn't really able to do much for his students in both scenarios. Gojo deduced it was because the elders and regressive policies were holding people back in favor of keeping the regime in charge (correct) and that because of that the sorcerers in Gojo's high school years just weren't strong enough to keep up (this is just what Gojo thinks).

His words to Megumi are encouraging him to be strong so he won't get left behind, which as I speculated above might imply Gojo thinks that part of what went wrong with Geto was that he simply wasn't strong enough to keep up with Gojo or stay on his level. If not then he still encourages Megumi to get strong before everything else, he's not taking care of these kids emotional needs, he's pushing them to get stronger because in Gojo's mind that's the be all end all solution to every problem.

"Nanami's line was not saying that Gojo doesn't care about children, it's saying that "You live for Jujutsu." It is the lens through which Gojo sees everything, and so therefore he doesn't think of breaking kids out of the Jujutsu World, just making it a place that's slightly more safe for them. Gojo's ego is so strong that he only ever sees things from his point of view, being a sorcerer was fun for him, his high school days were the happiest time in his life before they got ruined by outside forces.

He's trying to protect those days for his children, but he's not arguing against the existence of an institution like Jujutsu High in the first place. He's not saying the teenagers should never be sent out on missions, he's saying we need to make the teens stronger. If they're stronger than they won't die (that's probably true but they'll be even safer if they don't have to go on missions in the first place).

Now we have a reason! Why do Aizawa and Kakashi send out child soldiers into the battlefield if their goal is to protect their students? Because it's a shonen manga and the main characters are all teenagers.

Why does Gojo send out teenagers to fight for him if he wants to protect them, well I just explained it.

In fact, the entire purpose of Nanami in the story is to give us a character who explicitly treats children like they are children and not miniature adults. Who acknowledges that this is emotionally hard for children to deal with and they shouldn't have to do that.

Nanami's lines of "I'm an adult you're a child" and "Being a child is not a bad thing." would not have the weight they carry if they weren't so different from the way that every other adult in the story (including Gojo) treats children.

Nanami and Gojo have the same goal of making being a Jujutsu Sorcerer easier for children, but Nanami practices what he preaches. He tells Yuji to stand back and that he doesn't need to fight if he sees an enemy that's too strong, to let the adult on scene handle things first.

When he sees that Yuji is disturbed by the idea of killing former humans that Mahito had changed with his technique, he consoles him. He knows that Yuji is a sensitive kid and tries to spare him as much of that grief as possible. When he leaves Yuji behind he tells him explicitly that he's the adult in this situation, he shouldn't be forcing a child to help carry that burden if it's not necessary.

He also explicitly tells Yuji that being strong or jumping into life threatening situations =/= as growing up. Nanami is a character aware that the problem isn't that the children are not strong enough, but that too much responsibility is being thrown on these children. That there is a difference between what children and adults are emotionally capable of. Gojo doesn't see that difference because he reached enlightenment as seventeen. He even explicitly chose Nanami because Gojo knew he wasn't good at that stuff.

Nanami was not saying that Gojo doesn't care about children, Nanami was saying Gojo lives to be a sorcerer, Gojo who loves sorcery doesn't understand why being a sorcerer is too much of an emotional burden on a child. He just doesn't. He literally says his students are flowers.

Now, here's the kicker. Nanami dies.

Nanami wanted Yuji to not take on too much responsibility, and he died leaving Yuji with more responsibility than he could ever carry. Nanami failed in his goal, despite the fact he is the most responsible and well-meaning adult in the story who treats children like they're children.

The reason he dies is because this is what happens to people like Nanami in Jujutsu Society. The whole of society is built to condition people into being cogs and Nanami who's just one person can't overcome it on his own. I can write a whole meta on how Nanami's way of dealing with children is way better than Gojo's and yet they do essentially the same thing, throw way too much responsibility onto Yuji even though he's just a kid. They're both too ingrained in the system to make any sweeping changes, and that's why the child soldiers keep on child soldiering.

Gojo as a Character

The second reason as eluded above that Gojo is not meant to be read as a perfect teacher, or even a good one really is because he's the fourth main character of the cast. If you are a main character, then you need a flaw, and an arc where you either improve upon that flaw or you succumb to it in tragic fashion.

Gojo's not the perfect adult mentor, because he's kind of in the same place as the kids themselves. I think there's a reason we never learn anything about Gojo's backstory, we know nothing about his parents, the Gojo clan, because those details aren't as relevant. The most important thing about Gojo is the three years he spent at high school, because that was the only time he felt like a person, and also because he is trapped there mentally.

There's a reason that Gojo's dying dream is him imagining everyone reset to seventeen years old, because that was where the clock stopped for him in his youth, and that was where all of his regrets as an adult come from. His motivation to help teenagers today only comes from his own youth being ruined, and the adults in his life failing to protect him.

It's very likely that Gojo who lives for Jujutsu probably would never have realized the problems in his current society, if his youth wasn't ruined by those same adults he's now fighting against.

The reason most mentor figures in fiction are not main characters is because as adults they don't really need to grow up anymore. The obvious solution is that you just need your mentor character to just fail to be an adult in some glaring way.

To show how Gojo falls short as an adult, especially in regards to these children and how he treats them is to drag him down from all powerful, all knowing wizard, and make him struggle with the rest of the main cast. Gojo is not a positive adult figure in these kids lives despite having the best of intentions, because he's not really an adult.

I guess if you were already the best and strongest person in the world at seventeen, smarter and more capable than all the adults around you, you wouldn't really feel the need to grow up. Coupled with the fact that you are alienated from other people and do not relate to them on a personal level that's not going to help with your identity formation.

I mean I constantly compare Gojo to Superman, but to be fair to Gojo instead of bullying him like I usually do Clark Kent was raised by parents who raised a boy not a superman, and who constantly tell him that he's just a normal person, his powers don't make him great, it's his heart.

Nanami says that Gojo only fights for himself that ""You don't wield Jujutsu to protect something, you use it solely to for your own sake. What a weirdo" it's likely Gojo only fights for himself because he's never ben told that's he's more than just the six-eyes and more than just the limitless.

The best way to make a mentor a part of the cast, is to make them through some way or another have failed to grow up properly in their youth and therefore they need to do it while the story is taking place. We know how Gojo failed, his springtime of youth ended early, it ended the day he couldn't stop Geto from leaving, the day he can be the strongest sorcerer ever and still fail because sorcerer society is too corrupt for one person to handle alone. We also know he didn't really grow up past this point, because he still thinks the solution is to make people be stronger. Why does he not do anything about Geto for 11 years? In story terms he's basically suspended in time unable to grow past Geto. Kenjaku literally uses the trauma from his youth and the memories that seeing Geto alive would provoke in Gojo again, to trap him because he knew it would make him freeze up. Gojo is frozen in the past, he failed to grow up in story terms and must now grow up while the main story itself is taking place along with the children he's trying to raise.

This is how you make a mentor interesting. You have to make them flawed in some way that makes it worth having them onscreen, because a perfect mentor only serves one purpose to teach a main character and then he's gone.

Dazai Osamu from Bungo Stray Dogs is a character that's almost as massively popular as Gojo. Similiarly, he is a teenage genius who found trouble relating to other people who is now as an adult attempting to mentor two children.

However, Dazai's faults as a mentor are made much more explicit.

Dazai suddenly punched Akutagawa in the face, preventing him from finishing his sentence. Akutagawa flew back onto the ground, his head bouncing off the stone flooring with a thud. "Perhaps I made it look like I wanted to hear excuses. Sorry for the misudnerstanding," Dazai said while rubbing his knuckles. "Urg..." Akutagawa moaned. He'd hit his head so hard that he couldn't even stagger to his feet. "Give me your gun," Dazai ordered one of his men. The subordinate was hesitant but nonetheless handed over his weapon. Next, Dazai removed the magaine from the automatic pistol, took out all but three bullets, then put the magazine back in. He immediately pointed the gun at Akutagawa, who was still on the ground. "I have this friend who's supporting several orphans all on his own, you see," he continued his weapon still drawn and aimed at the boy. "AKutagawa I'm sure Odasaku would've been patient enough to give you the guidance you needed had he been the one who'd found you on the brink of starvation right in the slums. That would have been the 'right' thing to do. But 'righteousness' doesn't take very kindly to me. And there's only one thing people like me do to useless subordinates." Dazai mercilessly pulled the trigger the moment he finished his sentence.

(Don't worry, Akutagawa lived). Dazai is a character who had a troublesome youth he never grew up from. He was too smart for the world as a kid, and because of that joined up with the mafia because he wanted to feel like he was more connected to life and other people by getting closer to death (weird dazai logic I know) and was the best of the best at it, but it only drove him further away from people. He makes one friend, and loses that friend similiar to Gojo. Just like Gojo too, that friend is the one who gives him his purpose as an adult that drives him to mentor young people.

"Odasaku.. What should I do?" "Be on the side that saves people," Odasaku replied, "If both sides are the same, then choose to become a good person. Save the weak, protect the orphaned. You might not see a great difference between right and wrong, but... saving others is something just a bit more wonderful."

Is this not what Nanami said just in different words. Odasaku tells Dazai point blank, I know you're selfish, I know that you don't really have any concept of good or evil but you can choose to save others anyway.

Isn't this what Gojo does?

He is selfish. He doesn't really consider the morality or his actions or get hung up on the idea of protecting the weak like Nanami or Geto do, but he still does go out of his way to live for the ideal of saving children.

Both Gojo and Dazai are characters who are struggling with this ideal of saving the children, because while their ideals are good they themselves as people are morally gray. Adding onto that, they're also children and a good deal of their backstory is devoted to showing why they never really grew out of the mindset that they held as children.

The story doesn't call them horrible monsters for it, it's just saying that they need to grow up or face the consequences of not growing up.

"I have one regret," I said. "I never got to say good-bye to my friend. He was always there for me as 'just a friend.' He was bored of this world and always waited for death to come for him." "That man was in search of a place to die just like me?" "No, not exactly," I answered. "I thought you were similiar to Dazai at first, rushing into battle and wishing for death without even considering the value of your own life. But he's different. He's sharp-witted with a mind like a steel trap. And he's just a child - a sobbing child abandoned in the darkness of a world far emptier of the world we're seeing." He was too smart for his own good. THat was why he was always alone. The reason why ANgo and I were able to be by his side was that we understood the solitude that surrounded him, and we never stepped inside it no matter how close we stood. But in that moment, I kind of regretted not stepping in and invading a little.

Does that sound like the narrative is condemning Dazai for being who he is? No, it's Dazai's best friend offering empathy and understanding for how lonely it must be, and how if Dazai made real connections with people then he could have a chance of growing up like everyone else. That's what the narrative challenges Dazai to do while empathizing with why it's harder for him to and why he's still trapped in his youth, because to take care of children you need to be an adult yourself. Otherwise if you're a child, and I'm a child, then nobody's driving the plane.

Rupert Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer is another mentor who faces the same moral dilemna that Gojo does. In fact his entire character revolves around the fact he knows deep down he's sending a kid to her early grave.

Buffy is the Chosen One TM. One girl in all the world is chosen to fight the vampires. Much like sorcerer society, there is an entire bureaucracy dedicated to identifying the chosen slayer and then raising her up and guiding her as a weapon to be used against the threat of vampires and demons.

The watchers are all adults. The slayer is a teenage girl. The slayer slays. The watchers watch. Just like in Jujutsu Kaisen, there is a necessity for the Slayer to exist, because the alternative is just letting vampires eat people. Yet even if the slayer needs to exist, at the end of the day a bunch of adult men are sending a teenage girl to fight for them.

All Slayers die young. All of them without an exception. No matter how good of a mentor is, no matter how much he cares about her, Buffy is going to die one day, and Giles is going to watch. Because that's what the watcher does, they watch. Sending her on missions means Buffy's in danger, not sending her means innocent people are in danger.

It's a scenario that's pretty much like Gojo's, and the narrative of Buffy makes it explicit that Giles really can't be a father figure to bufy in this scenario. A father would have to choose to put their child above the world and keep them safe, not send them out straight into danger.

It is a choice that Giles makes over and over again. He is always her watcher and never her father. There's a season 3 episode where Giles literally drugs Buffy as a part of a test to prove she is "worthy" of being a slayer. A test that deliberately puts her in harms way that he complies with - because the system told him to. A choice to be her watcher and act according to what the council of watchers wanted and not what Buffy wanted. A choice that shatters the illusion that Buffy had of him, showing her that Giles is only there to teach her to be a Slayer, not to take her to the iceapades or buy ice cream with her.

In this scenario Gojo is very much like Giles as no matter how much he may personally like these kids, he is not their father, and there is only so much he can do for them when he's still feeding them into the same system. Giles loves Buffy, Giles wants to protect Buffy, Giles is a part of the system that exploits Buffy. Giles is an adult asking Buffy to risk her life to save the world.

Gojo goes out of his way to recruit Megumi, Yuji, and Yuta among others. Gojo still doesn't let them be anything other than sorcerers, and as sorcerers they're still guaranteed to one day die and probably die young. Gojo wants to revolutionize the system he is, but he still sends out his students to do missions as part of that system. He's not letting them escape it, he's just making them be stronger sorcerers.

Not only is Gojo not a father figure to Megumi, he is exploiting him more or less. The option of Megumi not being a sorcerer isn't on the table. No matter how well-intentioned he may be, or how good his ideals are he's still an adult telling a child to make a sacrifice for the world.

So, there are two character conflicts with two different mentors that both reflect Gojo. Gojo cannot grow up because he's still trapped in the tragedy of his youth. He himself is not an adult, for various reasons (lack of connection to other people, trauma in his youth) he's egocentric like a child but there are children in his life who need him to be.

Gojo also cannot be a proper adult, because he is part of a system that exploits children. We see what the system does to proper adults like Nanami, he shows us just how much well-intentioned adults struggle to help kids under sorcerer society so how about Gojo who thinks being a sorcerer is really fun. A proper adult would never send kids on those missions, they'd find some way to shield them but Gojo cannot do that. Because sorcerers are short staffed and innocent people will die if he doesn't. Because Gojo isn't the sorcer-king of Jujtusu Society and is working within it to affect change. There are reasons, but still Gojo is failing to live up to his desire to protect children because he's not doing what a responsible adult should do in this situation.

Gojo's failures are two-fold, and yet it's because of those failures that he was a main character who got as much special plot attention as he did. If Gojo was a perfect teacher he wouldn't be a character. After all, we relate to the struggles of other human beings we see onscreen in television and in movies so why would we care about a perfect character?

Gojo has a lot more to say about teachers in shonen manga, and also about childhood vs. adulthood as a bad teacher struggling to be a good one, then a teacher who's already perfect. Nanami said those lines because he wanted us to understand the audience that this is who Gojo is, he is a selfish and egotistical person who nonetheless was trying to do good things.

#jjk meta #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #nanami kento #kento nanami #jujutsu kaisen meta #jujtusu kaisen #jjk spoilers #jjk 236 #jujutsu kaisen spoilers #dazai osamu

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metamatar · 5 months ago

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hope it's okay to ask, but do you have any advice for like. internalizing that self harm and suicide aren't really helpful

obvs this is all personal, so depending on your personal beliefs and the dimensions of depression it may not apply. im sure some of this can make it worse for you personally. reader beware etc. im sure this is terribly revealing of what my problems are. but i can't ignore you.

for self harm my advice here is more harm reduction bc i think the internalisation of that not being useful to you is way more specific to why you harm and needs like. work.

for suicide, because i think fighting both takes different tactics and some of these are things that work temporarily:

relief from anguish is a feeling. you have to be alive to experience a feeling. even if you don't remember that feeling and don't feel capable of it what if you stuck around to see it? it would be transcendent.

you want out from something. think about drastic decisions you can take before killing yourself that can change things that fuck you up. drop out of school? quit your job? start living on a friends couch? break up with your partner? trans your gender?

suicide closes off any other possibility. it is a very loud scream of autonomy but it will be the last time you get to make a decision. is that truly enough autonomy for you?

you have wanted to die before. you have not wanted to die before. your feelings are complicated and contradictory. you cannot entrust your whole life to them.

be curious about your future. im serious. i've changed so much by now from the limiting self i was when i was 15 and couldn't imagine being 18 and now im beyond 25 and im curious what i'd be like at 35. bargain. to see those years. i mean maybe you'll be cured which is a fun fantasy but i don't really believe that. maybe you'll be worse. but which? and how? the wikipedia summary of your life is not the life experience. the texture of your anguish changes too.

consider survival more valuable to your self worth. it matters. you had to do it anyway but you did it so it still matters. yeah you cracked a bit but you can be proud of being alive.

now, more controversially before you kill yourself, consider making it worse. indulge self destruction some other way. do something inadvisable that's less permanent.

and now, after endorsing self harm as a means of avoiding suicide and making everyone mad. stuff i've internalised to do less self harm:

i am the only person in the world responsible for me. choose less harm. the doctors won't choose less but i will.

same stuff about making one drastic change.

just one thing make it safer? then do it safer. you can look this stuff up on forums.

pick a replacement behaviour that you think is slightly better. do it. fail it. do it again. force yourself to over indulge in it while the haze passes.

you kind of have to sit with the things that hurt you that the self harm soothes and try to change them. sorry. do it slowly and do it excessively and keep trying.

i am not the only person in the world who does this. read about it talk about it and keep it held in your heart that this is something about yourself that you feel the need to change. i like art about it.

fighting it a little is giving you a fresher newer self back. do you like them? don't you want to meet them?

relief is not contentment. wouldn't contentment be even more transcendent?

#anon #healing #cw: self harm #cw: suicide #advice

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maccreadysbaby · 1 year ago

Text

Writing 101: Homeless or Previously Homeless Characters

aka me doing research for you!

TW: homelessness, sickness, the like

So you’ve decided you want a homeless or previously homeless character in your story. We’ve all been there. I’m currently there at this present moment, hence why I’ve gathered the information I’m word vomiting to you all. This is going to be aimed more toward child or teenaged characters, since that seems to be the most popular archetype. These can also be applied to an adult but will be slightly altered.

the most common stereotypes surrounding homelessness are:

Homeless kid/teen gets taken in by Big Rich Guy™︎ See: Jason Todd (Batman)

Kid/teen has run away and is ruthlessly avoiding cops/foster care, therefore, temporarily homeless. See: Billy Batson (Shazam, 2019)

There’s a reason these are so popular: because they’re good. But, you can’t just slap a youngster on the city streets, have them taken in, and show them living a normal life. Homelessness takes a toll on a person and makes them grow up much, much faster. Let’s talk about the things that separate these individuals from typical children, and how you can show them in writing. (These can be altered to fit the personality of your character).

1) Homeless young people will not trust you no matter what you do. It will take a long time and a lot of bonding to build trust with a homeless kid, even if you take them in. Depending on what city or town they live in, and why they’re homeless in the first place, they could’ve had to deal with defending themselves from people trying to rob, take advantage of, hurt, or even kidnap them. Or, if they’re running from the cops, they might’ve been tricked by an undercover cop trying to coax them to the station, or just plain traumatized by having cops and cruisers searching for them. If they’re homeless because they ran away, it could be abuse. All in all, trust is so incredibly hard to come by in these kiddos. They might run from you. They might try and fight you. They might hide from you. They might be scared absolutely shiteless of you even though you haven’t done anything wrong, and that’s just how it is. Even if you manage to get them into your house, they can and will bolt if you scare them and that instinct is gonna stand for a while.

how you can show it:

moving away from people

body language and positions that indicate they’re ready to run

hiding

taking a defensive posture when approached

or just attacking

going nonverbal

threats

“don’t touch me,”

“leave me alone,”

“just go away!”

2) They will not seek out help. They’ve been dealing with everything themselves, so they believe they can do it alone. Vulnerability out on the streets is a good way to get killed or taken advantage of, so it’s likely they won’t even think about it. If they’re sick, they’ll deal with it alone. If they’re hurt, they’ll deal with it alone. If they had a nightmare, they’ll deal with it alone because they always have, or they think it’s safer if they do. It’s similar to the way an animal hides weakness until it’s absolutely impossible: because they need to to survive. If they show they’re weak, they’ll die, and that’s just that. Imagine being sick while living on the streets. Going to a doctor will get you better, yes, but handed over to child services. Going to a stranger could get you killed, kidnapped, handed to the feds or so on. It just isn’t safe to rely on anyone else. At the very least it just makes them a burden to others, and it will take them a long time to un-learn that.

how you can show it:

finding them curled up in the bathroom floor because they’ve been sick all night but didn’t tell anyone

falling asleep during the day because they’ve had nightmares at night

being extremely apologetic when they get help

or extremely snappy and refusing to let anyone help

“i can do it myself!”

“i don’t need your help!”

“i’m fine!”

“i’m sorry. i’m so sorry i’ll clean it up i promise,”

“i didn’t mean to bother you i swear,”

“i’m taking care of it, i can handle it,”

3) These guys have fight or flight like a wild animal. All their senses are more acute. They’re always ready to bolt. The moment they’re in a room they’re cataloguing possible exits, entries people could use, things they could improvise as a weapon if they have to. They’re scared and they want to get back to where they’re comfortable. Which is not usually an enclosed room where people can get to them. They can smell danger and the moment they do, they’re out of there. Chances are, they’ve learned all of this stuff the hard way.

how you can show it:

noting how their eyes seem to catch on things like windows, doors, crowbars, etc

watching closely for people’s expressions or attitudes to change

restless in enclosed spaces with others

always sitting or wanting to be near a door

getting anxious behind locked doors

eyeballing hiding spots

perking up at noises around the house that other people probably wouldn’t mind

“are you mad?”

“was that the front door?”

4) These kiddos will have different fears and anxieties than normal. They won’t be scared of the monster under the bed. They may be scared when the leaves start to change because they know it’s about to get really cold and they almost froze to death last time that happened. They might be nervous when the spring turns to summer because they’re prone to overheating and dehydration. They might be afraid of not emptying their plate because they don’t know when they’ll have more food. They might be scared of getting sick because then they’re weak and their judgement is skewed and it’s too easy for someone to manipulate them. They might be scared of the people because they were previously put into an abusive foster home. They might be scared of certain days, like Halloween or full moons, when the loonies come out and prey even harder on children. The possibilities are endless.

how you can show it:

eating everything offered to them, even if it makes them feel sick

hiding when they’re hurt or sick so people can’t talk to them

hesitant to go outside during winter/summer/on certain days/to certain places

flinching in response to touch, or just someone approaching

crying when they think they’re in trouble

or just shutting down

excessive apologizing

“i hate the cold. just makes you sick,”

“don’t talk to me,”

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry, that was so stupid…”

5) They might not be grateful for what is given to them, if you’re going the whole “taken in” route. They’re going to be suspicious and wary. Or they may be absolutely stunned and confused. It’s not what they’re used to, it’s not what they feel safe in, and it’s strange and unsettling for them.

how you can show it:

sleeping in the floor in the corner of the room where they can see everything instead of the queen bed that faces away from the door

sleeping in weird freaking places, like closets, wardrobes, under the bed, anywhere where they think they are safest

wary to accept gifts or just items they need

nervous that they are being manipulated

“why are you giving me this?”

“i like it better when i can see everything,”

“are you trying to trick me?”

Feel free to add on!!!!

#writing angst #original writing #creative writing #writers #writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity

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itsabouttimex2 · 10 months ago

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May I ask

Which characters will include in the primal moon scenario ?

Essentially, whichever characters I can think of scenarios for- writing Monkiefam was pretty easy, because monkeys have complex hierarchies to draw from. I spent a while observing different species at a local zoo (they’re mean. God, they’re so mean.) and decided to write a fic based on the behaviors I saw. (I’ll post that video at the bottom!)

Despite their status as the lowest ranked member of the ‘troop’, Wukong sees Y/N as his biological child. He won’t listen to any arguments about the difference in age or species, no matter what evidence is presented to refute him. Macaque is seen as his ‘little brother’, their rivalry temporarily forgotten. (Though only on Wukong’s end.)

The Great Sage is just lucid enough to recognize MK as his cherished student, and tries to give him advice… but his mind is a little too muddled by viridescence to offer anything sound. He also accidentally enables the worst of Primal!MK’s traits by complimenting and comforting him whenever things go wrong.

He’s thankfully rather laidback about the whole thing, only getting violent when he feels that his ‘family’ or status are threatened.

Macaque returns to his long-forgotten docile demeanor, a remnant of his days as a member of the Sworn Brotherhood- though he tries to fight the shift. It butchers the simian’s pride to resume a position of submissiveness, especially now that it’s to two people- one of whom may well be a teenager. Also, he’s sincerely desperate for comfort and companionship, so he spends most of the week fighting himself to not participate in any bonding activities.

He’ll make a ‘rank-scaling’ attempt or two, only to get beaten down and potentially pushed behind even Y/N in terms of status if he does it enough.

Sun Wukong->MK->Macaque->Y/N is the troop ranking, and it’s pretty rigid.

MK is, uh… in a pretty rough state. He’s never had any preparation for the Primal Moon, thinking himself a regular human for almost the entire time that he’s been alive.

———————————————————————

Honestly, it’s Tang that gives me the hardest time! assuming we can call upon his cicada ancestry, he’s- got absolutely nothing. Female cicadas use their ovipositors to slice into thin branches many times, leaving clutches of eggs as they go- that’s about as far as parental instincts go for them, given that they and the males die soon after breeding. (The males, in fact, die pretty much directly after.) I guess I’d place him with Princess Iron Fan and Ne Zha as the ‘normal’ guys.

Pigsy is, as you know- a male pig. Who are notorious piglet-killers. Eating piglets, stepping on piglets, rolling over and crushing piglets- intentionally killing entire piglet litters to force females back into estrus- it gets pretty brutal. So I still haven’t figured out what I want to do with him for this story- though I imagine he’ll be aggressive/hair-trigger, with Tang being the one thing that holds him back.

———————————————————————

Mei was pretty easy to write, but I did a lot of research on Chinese dragons in order to keep my representation of her respectful. Dragons in the west are usually reduced to bloodthirsty beasts of pride and rage- creatures to be slain and overcome as monstrous final obstacles. This portrayal even dates back to Beowulf, with the dragon portrayed then going on to characterize many dragons that came after it. (For example, Smaug was based partly on Beowulf’s dragon, and partly on Fafnir- so if any others dragons are based on Smaug, then they too call back upon the original.

In Chinese culture, dragons are considered wise and powerful beings. They’re worshipped as symbols of prosperity and good luck, and considered very auspicious beings.

So, Mei seems more composed in this AU- but it’s all an act. Given the stigma that non-humans have on account of the Primal Moon, she spends a lot of time pretending to be something that she’s not so that no one ends up being afraid. Mei’s obsession with with Y/N primarily stems from their complete acceptance of who she is, inside and out. Instead of having to pretend to be dignified and wise and rational, she gets to be the real Mei. She can goofy and energetic with you, not afraid to roughhouse or throw hands.

———————————————————————-

For Bullfam, I think Princess Iron Fan very much would be the ‘only sane man’- if two things weren’t occurring:

1. Her husband wasn’t trying to talk her into having a second child and worshipping her every step, his tongue spinning crude admirations of her beauty and battle prowess.

2. Her son wasn’t clinging to her waist and arms, begging for validation and attention, futilely trying to drag her into his workshop to compliment his blueprints and machines.

So she has her boy (after some headpats and a little bit of buttering up) run off to the surface and snatch a suitably young human who’s been left unattended, imposing them as a temporary ‘second child’ and ‘younger sibling’… before getting attached. Even though they were supposed to be disposable, she works them into a more permanent fixture of her family.

Given that Red Son is the one who picks you out, he feels a special bond with you. Instead of being more aggressive or even prouder- Red gets clingy. His desire for love and respect comes to the forefront, leading him to latch onto Y/N as tightly as possible. Hugs, headpats, back rubs, hair combing- he wants affection in as many forms as possible. I like to think he temporarily grows horns during the Primal Moon, and that he really likes having them rubbed and polished.

And as for Demon Bull King… this man is already aggressive as hell and pretty damn tempestuous, seeing red at the drop of a hat. So, with very little inhibition as is, he’s the sort of demon hit hardest. Bull King’s mental faculties degrade by a touch or two, rendering him very animalistic. He’s the opposite of Mei here- she puts herself through a ton of suppression and training and it all pays off spectacularly. He actively leans into the instincts and new power the viridescence brings, reveling in a more bestial state.

So, while Y/N openly and freely gives Mei love and affection, they instead cower and hide from Demon Bull King.

He wants more kids. Wants to spend more time with his wife. Wants to fight and break and feast. And when Y/N is abducted brought home, his aggression outright doubles. This is kinda good, though- now he’s so protective that he’s pacing the fortress in hourly patrols, wearing himself out as he digs deep grooves into the earth, carving his sigil into the stones around him many times over, marking the territory as inextricably his.

And all he wants upon returning home is a nap- with his entire family piled onto the bed, of course.

———————————————————————

Also, if anyone has recommendations for how characters should act, I’d be happy to hear them!

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luminousbeings-crudematter · 1 year ago

Text

Donner Party! Ghoap AU Part 2: It’s Cannibalism Time, Boo

A/N: Please please please mind the content warnings!

CW: cannibalism || violence || cannibalism play (but only allusions to smut) || toxic behaviour || catholicism (references to reader wearing a cross) || brief reference to the reader being sick (not graphic) || 18+ only MDNI

Part 1

You go hungry for weeks, before you consider it.

You watch in quiet desperation as the camp's resources dwindle and are then exhausted - all the horses and cattle sacrificed for food, their bones used for soup, the oxhide soles of your shoes chewed down, the oxhide in the roof of your tent boiled and reboiled and reboiled again and again and again to make a shallow semblance of broth. You watch as Simon and Johnny barter and beg and borrow and steal food. Food that they ensure feeds you first, always, without exception.

So when you hear them discuss tentative plans to find alternative means, you convince yourself that the circumstances drive them to it, and you most decidedly don't think of the repercussions of your actions. And even if you wanted to, it's not like your boys would let you dwell on it.

The blood is on their hands, they assure you. It's nothing to do with you. You're just eating the food that they bring you, just as you've done for months now. Nothing has to change.

It's for your survival, pet. You'll die if you don't eat, and we'll die if you do. You won't have that, will you? When Simon says it, it all seems logical. You will die if you don't eat. You're seeing what's happening around the camp, already. You're seeing what the hunger's doing to the people.

You clutch at the cross around your neck, sometimes, in moments of lucidity, when the cold and the hunger are temporarily abated by the insignificant blades of grass or couple of acorns they find for you. If heaven has a keeper who won't let you in for this, Johnny whispers to you in the night, hand clutching yours over your cross, then I'll kill him and take his place instead. You believe him. How could you not?

In moments of clarity, you ponder on what you are to them. A worshipped hostage. A goddess caged. You push the thought away with unease.

It begins when you hear deranged ravings from the other campers, children howling from hunger. Overhear rumours of the cold driving the men insane, of women hardly noticing their toes charring away in the fires in their tents, so frostbitten were they.

It's at that point that Simon and Johnny take you away from the camp. There is nowhere to go, not really. There is only snow, brutal and beautiful and stark and blinding, as far as the eye can see. They can hardly take you away, the way they'd really prefer to. That will come later.

And they don't take you against your will. It all makes perfect sense to you when they explain how the three of you will move away from the desperation that reeks from the rest of the camp. They speak of the camp's plight, the hunger as though they know it intimately. As though they understand it. And if they understand it, surely, they can defeat it.

You're far enough away from the camp that you don't hear the others anymore, but close enough that you still see traces of their presence. It comforts you. It's not that you feel unsafe with the boys, not at all. It's not that. You've never been safer, you know that. But...when you'd first agreed to go with them? It was...but no. No, you're sure that you'd only imagined the unholy, almost wicked gleam in their eyes, twisting their faces beyond recognition. No, it couldn't be right.

Your hunger makes you hallucinate often, after all.

***

When It happens, you're not prepared.

Months of having survived on essentially nothing but grass and frozen seeds and animal bones that had been cooked so many times they'd turned to mush had made the idea of a real, substantial meal...not appealing (all things considered), but you were amenable to it, much more now than you were before.

They've taken care to clean themselves up thoroughly, somehow, and they hadn't given you any details. They'd honoured your two requests. You didn't want anything to do with any of it, but if you had to, then you didn't want to be privy to the sordid details.

They're laughing at an inside joke, as they walk in to the tent that evening. Johnny shoves at Simon's chest slightly, and in response, Simon kisses his knuckles. It's all so...normal. They've lost some muscle mass over the months, their cheeks look sunken and the hollows under their eyes darken every day, but their eyes?

Their eyes shine when they look at each other and when they look at you.

But, no. You're nowhere close to prepared for what you're about to do. You gag when you see the small streak of blood on Johnny's coat, knowing exactly where it'd come from, but thankful not the whom.

He takes it off immediately, apologetic and chagrined, while Simon's arms come around you in silent support, tight, so tight, that they threaten to cut off the blood flow in your chest. It makes the turmoil inside you quieten when he holds you like this.

This is Simon and Johnny. They've looked after you for months. They've promised they'll never stop. They're okay. They'll make everything okay. It'll all be okay.

***

There is something in their eyes as they kiss you that evening.

Sex has been...challenging, but it keeps your mind off things, sometimes. They make you come, over and over and over, and it feels like they light a fire inside you, they swear you glow.

You kiss Johnny for what feels like hours and hours, slow and languid, just about the only activity you've got the strength for, and when he rearranges you so your back is to Simon's chest, you go along with it.

Simon murmurs low in your ear. You need to eat, little love.

You tense, and it makes Johnny pause from where he was kissing his way down your body. You whine at the loss, eager for his touch even in your state, and it makes Simon chuckle. Eat for me, little love, and he'll kiss every inch of you. He won't stop.

You stare at Johnny, and see colour in his cheeks.

There hasn't been colour in his cheeks for months.

You nod tersely, and Simon produces bits of dried meat from somewhere behind him. Keep eating and I won't stop, comes Johnny's reminder.

You keep eating. He doesn't stop.

When you sleep that night, hunger abated, temporarily satisfied, blissfully free of consequences in your relaxed state, you think you hear their whispers.

You hear the butcher's son's name.

You sink deeper into the furs.

***

You can't stop throwing up.

It's been days. You sleep, because what else is there to do, but when you wake up you cry. And it distresses them when you cry, you know that. But you can't help it.

You feel betrayed. There's no other way to put it. You body had betrayed you by accepting nourishment from the most taboo of sources, your boys had betrayed you by convincing you to partake in something you'd rather have died than partaken in, and your god had abandoned you.

You heave and heave, but your stomach's empty and there's nothing for your body to expel. You gag and dry heave, and all they can do is watch you from the corner of the tent that you'd banished them to with dark eyes. You can't bear them touching you. You can barely tolerate their eyes on you.

Sometimes, Johnny watches you with unblinking, sad eyes, and your pity overwhelms you and you allow him to hold your hand. You dry heave again, and you sob when your ribs hurt from it. It makes Johnny cry too.

Simon's eyes only turn darker.

#ghostsoap x reader #simon riley x reader #johnny soap mctavish x reader #ghostsoap #simon riley x john mactavish #lumi writes #donner party AU #simon ghost riley #johnny soap mactavish

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arrowheadedbitch · 2 months ago

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Okay, I've officially seen the Mephisto death scene (though not the actual episode it happens, what can I say, I'm bad about seeking out spoilers) and I have to say, I'm not convinced.

You're seriously telling me that they killed off a fan favorite character and WEREN'T planning to reveal that he survived in the next season they thought they were getting? Don't make me laugh. It is shown time and time again that the twins have a teleport away spell, it's a perfectly planted scapegoat to explain how he got away! Even from the first episode, we see the twins teleport away just as a blast is about to hit them, I don't think this is any different.

I am ONE HUNDRED percent sure the plan was to reveal Mephisto was never dead and I have a knack for calling this kind of thing so just trust me, all right?

And this isn't just denial talking, could that blast have killed him? Yeah. But, he's not only a fan favorite character that many watchers liked more than the PRINCESSES, the perfect way for him to escape has been planned since his introduction!!

But, Praxina was clearly meant to be the villain in season 3, fighting Iris since she blames her for her brother's death, right? Yeah but that doesn't mean he's actually dead, just PERCIEVED dead

An explosion like that? There wouldn't really be any suspicion if they couldn't find his remains since he got magically blown up, there's no way to prove he died and since Prax literally watched him sacrifice himself for her, she would assume he was dead even if she couldn't find any evidence because...why wouldn't you? He exploded and didn't come back right away.

So where is he? Obviously, we don't know this since we didn't get season 3 but I'll share my guesses on the matter

1. He could be in a different kingdom

It's possible but I don't see it being what actually happened but him turning up in the kingdom of a princess who didn't help fight Gramorr and doesn't know who he is with amnesia and being her jester or something for a few episodes could be fun

2. He's at down near the wreckage where he supposedly died

He didn't have to have teleported far to have survived, and we don't know if anyone went down there to try and recover his remains, he could just be at the bottom and unconscious

3. He's in some random human's house

He teleported to earth with amnesia, some nice human took him in, probably a character who's just being introduced at the start of s3, and is nursing him to health as he tries to remember who the heck he is. I always liked how Mephisto had more knowledge about earth and humans in general than Prax so I'm not sure how I'd feel about this one to be honest

4. He's passed out in the woods

He teleported to earth, landed in a random forest near the cave the twins usually hang at, maybe unconscious, maybe just injured, maybe with amnesia, either they find him completely KO'd or he's living in the forest when they find him

5. He's in the cave

We have no reason to think Prax checked the cave the twins typically stay at, maybe he went there and passed out or something

6. He has amnesia

He's literally wherever and has amnesia, it's a classic. this would likely be thematically compared to when *Praxina* got amnesia and turned good for a while, temporarily forgetting who Meph is. Yes, I am aware of the overlap this has with other items on the list

7. He's low on magic

Maybe he used his last bit of magic to teleport away and with his current injured state he can't really do anymore, so he's stranded where ever her landed until he can get better, which is why he wasn't able to tell Prax he's okay

8. He's in a magic coma

I actually really like this idea. He teleported somewhere but he was injured and low on magic so he had to use an emergency spell to put himself into a magical sleep as he heals to, yknow, not die. He can be in any of the prior listed places for this, cave, woods, floor, I imagine the princesses would eventually find him and wake him up

These are the ideas I have right now

I imagine the conflict resolution would be a fight that is ended by Mephisto stopping Praxina and a reunion, as I can't really see Prax still wanting to fight LoliRock when she sees her brother safe and sound.

I can go more in depth on how I envision this going later but I have to get ready to go home now lol

#lolirock #lolirock mephisto #lolirock praxina #lolirock season 3

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xjulixred45x · 1 year ago

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Ryomen Sukuna x Douma! Reader

Request from @angel-tsugikuni-kamukura .

Can I please request more of the female douma but with sukuna falling in love with her.

Her one day showing up imagine her and gojo being friends with her being to lazy to do her work and sukuna finding out who easy humans trust her and is like I'll have her as mine or vessels.

Genre: Headcanons

Reader: Female

Warnings:The reader has the past and attitude of Douma from KNY, that is, she has difficulty understanding and expressing emotions. apart from a shady past and is worshiped by a cult. she has rainbow eyes and gray hair, if a reader with a specific appearance bothers you, don't read this. CULTS AND WHAT THEY CONVINCE, SUKUNA. i think is all.

OKEY, To be fair, this wasn't the first time Sukuna saw a person like you. at least not at this time.

Sukuna had lived centuries, longer than any man, he had seen people like you be born and die, with a unique appearance who were seen as gods by the inhabitants of Japan.

They were all different, some took it more seriously, others were buffoons not worthy of their time. but there was one in the Heian era that definitely caught his attention. He was very similar to you.

a woman with gray hair and the most beautiful rainbow eyes a human could have.

Even if she was beautiful, she had the soul of a curse. He only lived for his own pleasure, he didn't care about anything. and the best? The humans loved her even so, she handled the masses very well.

Sukuna might somewhat respect the tricks of your past lives. Even more when you developed your own cursed technique similar to Uraume's.

It became a habit for him to look for you in your subsequent lives when he was sealed, to see how you progressed and became more powerful.

You stood out a lot, so it was very easy.

until at some point... you stopped appearing on his radar.

It was very strange. But when he tried to look for your next life, it seemed like he hadn't even been born, as if the cycle had been paused indefinitely. which frustrated him a lot, you were very entertaining to watch in action, what had happened?

He even considered that you had been born in another country, but he was not sure, because otherwise there would be news about it, you were very rare when you appeared, unique, he would have to know when you were born. but he didn't hear from you for a long time.

when current events occur. He had already lost interest in finding you, thinking that you had simply already mixed with humans who would have tainted your strange heritage. a shame according to him. You had a lot of potential.

But then, one day, something happens.

He is already with Yuji as his vessel for this time. much to his chagrin.

Yuji was told that he would meet a new teacher who would be dedicated to educating his group temporarily, a teacher about whom they didn't have much information to be honest. But they did know that she was strong and that she was very beautiful, which obviously caught their attention.

Sukuna just rolled his eyes waiting for something interesting. and found it.

Imagine his surprise when Yuji entered the classroom and the person who was there was YOU, with your gray hair and rainbow eyes, identical, just like your past versions. Sukuna paid attention immediately.

This was the first time he would witness your personality and abilities up close, and if you were half as powerful now as you were in the Heian Era, then he would have to learn a couple of your moves, just in case you ended up being a nuisance in His path or, in the opposite case, a possible ally.

Let's just say you didn't disappoint.

Your attitude was still similar to what Sukuna had heard from your previous versions, carefree, relaxed, too much, more than worrying about teaching, you worried about having fun doing Sorcery.

That was already something that caught Sukuna's attention, in a good way. They had similar ideas. you only lived for your own entertainment and pleasure, even if that meant being seen as lazy or irresponsible by your classmates or students.

but there was also something that Sukuna noticed that sparked a stronger interest. It was the fact that you really didn't feel ANYTHING AT ALL.

It was clear as day, the forced smile you wore all the time was far from genuine, when you were sad that your students called you lazy it wasn't a real sadness, it could be seen that really all you did was change your facial expression to the situation but you didn't really alter anything else, it was a facade, a mask.

You couldn't fool him of all "people" although there was genuine emotion you showed. anger.

angry when Megumi Fushiguro told you that you sounded like a robot clown. There Sukuna could see the break in your mask, how there really was a total change in you even though it was minimal.

so you can feel emotions huh? interesting.

After that Sukuna tried to generate one last emotion that he was interested in seeing in you, fear.

so he made a mouth appear on Yuji's cheek to speak to you directly. mostly obscenities.

and what did he get?

that you would look at him with a GENUINE expression of FASCINATION....

Was that less than he thought? Yes, but did it make things even better? Yes too!

After that Sukuna would have something like these little conversations with you trying to figure you out, both in character and ritual technique. He couldn't decide if you really didn't feel any emotion or if it was just a very well done reflection.

Although it wasn't easy because Gojo realized that Sukuna was having an interest in you and as a good friend he tried to keep him away from you, at least during class hours.

What if you refused to leave? Well, that led to a pretty bloody fight that Sukuna was lucky enough to see, luckily you haven't changed much in power either. but not only that...

At some point, Gojo missed a blow of his, and destroyed a part of your jaw, pulberizing it.

Sukuna was about to take control to save your skin, but then he saw how you regenerated your own jaw like it was nothing and even joked that "that was quite a punch."

Sukuna decided something at that moment, he was going to have you as a tenth place, partner? As a new vessel? who knows. but he must have you.

If we go to advanced terms of "relationship" you and Sukuna are practically a perfect match.

You never have a problem with pain or anything, you even enjoy it, Sukuna enjoys inflicting pain, so the two of you end up in a surprisingly balanced relationship.

Sukuna has mixed feelings about your cult, on the one hand he loves how you handle people and finds it good quality entertainment, but on the other hand he is fine with just Uraume, although I don't think he would kill your cult unless that they will make a great offense against you, which he knows is unlikely to happen.

He likes that your cult pampers you, he -threatens- urges them to do it more often. which translates into ending up doing almost nothing all day because the cult already has it covered so you can spend more time with Sukuna.

POWER.COUPLE. Even if Sukuna fights alone, he considers you his second in command (along with Uraume) in case something happens. his general, basically.

at this point Sukuna can read you and your "emotions" very well and honestly? he loves it. You are so confused, so perverse and selfish, but you feel a genuine fascination with the one who makes you ignore everything that supposedly "matters" to you.

You are like the personification of his ideals, so he can "love" you in some way.

Sukuna enjoys seeing you happy, as strange as it may sound, so he doesn't just learn what things make you happy, and what things don't. In these latter cases he always ends up laughing out loud at your reactions. disgust, anger, sadness, surprise. any tbh . He lives for it.

Your Cult is a normal spot for breaks and a very good spot to have some privacy, with your lazy nature, you just spend it on Sukuna's lap while he plans his next move, like a Cat.

Sukuna is not someone who considers appearance paramount or important, but he makes the most of your unique appearance and the benefits it has with humans (not only your cult, but with other religious movements for example).

apart from the fact that in general there is always a certain pride in having a wife as beautiful as you around.

Nowadays I don't think he tries to have you as a vessel, he simply no longer sees the point now that his main objective is to recover its original form.

and when he does it? ohhhh boy, you two are going to have so much FUN together.

If he regains his original form, he will most likely also want you to gain your original powers from the Heian Era, making you both unstoppable.

In general, Sukuna at first is interested in you to see if you meet his expectations, but when you not only do that but exceed them, it ends in a more intense and "genuine" interest that ends up dragging you to the darker side of the story.

Sukuna will take good care of you at least.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

Thank you for the Request ❤️

#headcanons #fem reader #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jujutsu kaisen #jujustu kaisen #jujutsu no kaisen #ryomen sukuna #jujutsu kaisen ryomen #jujutsu sukuna #sukuna #jjk ryomen #jjk sukuna #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader #tw cult #tw kinda yandere? its sukuna

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the-s1lly-corner · 1 year ago

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Oh my God.

I had a very funny and slightly strange idea...

Imagine that there is mutual sympathy between the reader and Jax. In short, Jax has crush on reader, but the reader... don’t know it.(or just don’t see it)

So, a new person appears in the circus. It doesn't matter who it is, what it is, what his name is, etc.

So, the newcomer and the reader became very close friends. I mean, sleeping in the same room, hugging, holding hands...(I mean friends, no lovers)

Look, I just want to see Jax get jealous...?

Well, thank you!!

Jealous!Jax x reader !

Ohohohoh I saw this get sent in a few days ago and I've been meaning to get to this ! I answer requests chronologically most the time and I dont like temporarily skipping requests... but boy was I tempted

First things first he stomps his foot in agitation when he sees you and this newcomer hanging out. His ears also lower when you decide to hang out with them over him

Immediately jax targets the guy, like. I'm talking entire tunnel vision, hes hardly interested in pranking anyone else

In fact, these new pranks seem a little... mean spirited.. like before they were just annoying but most of the circus crew can tell theres some meanness set behind them

I mean, no ones all too worried since you cant exactly die or get a long lasting injury in the digital world

Jax makes it very clear that he doesnt like this person

With all of that said and done it boils over into you pulling jax to the side and asking what his deal is

And I can see this going one of both ways

Either he let's slip that he has feelings for you, or he doesnt... and both have major consequences; both good and bad

First the good, if he slips he has feelings and you reciprocate, I think you guys would try to talk the entire thing out... hes jealous.. obviously if you guys get together boundaries are going to need to be set... maybe.. everyone can find a balance where no ones jealous or upset..?

If he doesnt, and he holds his ground on why this new guy is dumb and stinky and "hes soooooooo not in your league, seriously" I think this could escalate.... worst case scenario you guys get into a heated argument. Jax isnt being honest and hes now openly putting down this person, and you're trying to come up with a reason for his sudden malice. Even worse case scenario you guys may.. well stop talking to each other

I don't think jax handles jealousy well, in my opinion

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #jax x reader #jax x you #jax imagine

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littlemessyjessi · 2 months ago

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"Guardian Snow Angel": A Holiday/Winter The Walking Dead Imagine: Daryl Dixon

…

A Holiday/Winter The Walking Dead Imagine

Daryl Dixon x Plus Size Reader, PS Reader, Reader Insert

Use of Y/N because if I tarry too long on particular details ya’ll will not see it this season. However, this is the base for a Daryl story that I haven’t decided whether or not to post. But I did give ya’ll quite a lot of juicy tidbits so you can kinda get a feel for it. Please lemme know what you think and if you’d like to see the story. Moving on.

Fem Identifying reader because, listen, I like women and I like writing women. But also, bi panic. Daryl is a dude (or at least it seems he’s mostly portrayed that way in the show. Idk what his personal pronouns are.They could change. We don’t know his inner thoughts and where his heart lies. ) Anyway, bi panic, bi needs. I want both. It’s fem identifying. If you don’t like, that’s cool. Feel free to scroll.

Warnings: Um, TWD? It’s a zombie apocalypse?

Also, if you’re under 18… get out. Happy Holidays. Have a great day. Hope the best for you. But get out. Love you but git.

….

The wind was biting.

This was no ‘Jack Frost nipping at your nose’ situation.

This was the kind of wind that didn’t just bite but rather sliced through you to the bone…. and Daryl was stuck out in the middle of it.

He was on his own again.

At times he preferred it and at times he hated it.

This was one of the times where he hated it.

The sound of hooves thundering against a snow covered frozen ground had him turning to squint through the blinding blizzard.

“Are you alright down there?”

Daryl had taken to hiding under a thick bit of brush to have at least some sort of shelter before he lost all of his limbs to frostbite.

However, he turned to the sound of oncoming hooves and hadn’t at all expected to hear a voice from directly behind him.

He whirled around at a rapid pace, drawing his arrow and aiming.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” said the moving mass of fur and antlers currently clouding most of his vision.

His brows furrowed further, “What the?”

A quick jerk of the head and the hood fell away to reveal the face of a woman, “Friend or foe?”

“Uh, what?” he asked, very, very aware of the tip of her spear pointed at his throat.

“Friend?” she repeated with a tilt of her head one way.

“Or foe?” she finished with a tilt the other way.

“Neither?” he asked.

“Good answer.” she grinned.

“How is that a good answer?” he asked as she pulled back her spear… just a little.

“Because it’s the true one for the most part.” she shrugged. “I hate when everyone says friend immediately. Like, bitch. We don’t know each other. You might be someone who thinks dresses don’t need pockets in which case…. you are definitely my foe.”

Daryl chuckled a bit despite the severity of the situation.

“So, Neither.” she said. “Here’s the deal. Should you choose to stay out here, you’ll freeze to death and probably be eaten by that crafty little mountain lion who keeps trying to steal my rabbits.”

Daryl made a mental note of the cougar… and the rabbits to stay away from.

“However, I would be willing to house you temporarily because let’s face it- it’ll bother my sleep tonight if I leave you out here to die. And my sleep is rather important to me. Can’t afford to sacrifice one morsel of it on account of a stray dude dicking around in a blizzard causing me nightmares.” she rambled.

Daryl was just doing his best to keep up with this rambled thought process of hers but he had gathered she had shelter from a blizzard and no matter what lay there… it seemed better than freezing to death… or being eaten by a wild animal.

“Ok….” he said.

“Ok, what?” she asked.

“Ok, I’d be, uh, grateful for the help.” he said.

“Oh!” she smiled. “Great!”

Then the world went dark because she smacked him over the head with her spear and knocked him out.

He came too not terribly long after, hanging upside down over the back of some type of animal.

It only took him a few moments to realize that it was a massive moose and he made to move.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” came that voice again. “Best not to spook Sprinkles. He’s a bit jumpy sometimes.”

“Sprinkles?”

“Yes, Sprinkles. He has little flecks on his nose. So he looks like the cutest little cupcake… with sprinkles.”

Daryl was suddenly regretting his decision.

Maybe death by freezing would’ve been better.

This poor woman seemed to have completely lost her mind.

He got it.

He understood.

The world was what it was now and many, many, MANY people had completely cracked under the pressure of it.

He wasn’t entirely sure he shouldn’t have taken his chances with being eaten alive by the cougar.

Still wasn’t sure he might not be eaten alive anyway.

There were some who had turned and some who had just turned insane.

“Close your eyes or I’ll have to knock you out again.” she said.

“What? Why?” he asked, trying to figure out where she was.

“Because, I can’t very well let you know the location and see the entrance can I?” she asked. “What if you have nefarious intentions?”

“For fuck’s sake- I don’t have- hey! Don’t hit me again!” he said, catching the end of that spear and his eyes widening when he realized that that insane woman was literally leaning back against the antlers of that moose as if she was lounging in bed.

Not sitting atop an enormous wild animal in the middle of a blizzard.

“Well, close your eyes then.” she said, launching forward to where she was less than an inch from his face. “Actually, I’ll need to blind fold you.”

“Listen, maybe I’ll just-”

“First of all, if you hop off now, you’ll spook Sprinkles. She’ll kick you in a panic and you’ll die and be eaten by some critter.” she said.

“Ok-”

“Second, I’ve already told you, you’ll freeze to death in this weather. I’m offering you shelter so you don’t freeze and then get eaten. All I’m asking is a little anonymity.” she said.

“Ok but-”

“Third, you said you didn’t want me to knock you out so the other option is for me to blind fold you!” she said.

“I’ll close my eyes. I’ll cover them with my hands.” he said and covered his eyes with his hands. “Please, I have issues with the blind fold.”

“Trauma?” she asked.

He nodded.

“That sucks. I’m sorry.” she said. “And sorry about the likely concussion.”

“Yeah, that shit hurts.” he chuckled. “You’re deadly with that thing.”

“More than you know.” she said and grew silent.

Daryl remained true to his word by keeping his hands over his eyes but he could FEEL her staring him down to make sure they stayed there.

He wasn’t entirely sure how much time had passed but his teeth were chattering and his fingers were aching from the cold when suddenly she took hold of them.

He jumped at the difference in temperature.

“I’m just guiding you. Keep your eyes closed but I’ll help you down and get you inside.” she said.

“If you would just let me see I can get down myself.”

“Do you want to freeze to death or not?”

He sighed.

“Look, dude. We do this my way or you face the wilderness alone. I’ve been burned before and I’m not doing it again. God, my guardian angel, maybe it’s your guardian angel… something is telling me to keep your ass alive for the night at least. Maybe it’s my conscience or the desire to not add any MORE nightmares to my nightly toss and turn tilt a whirl of terror. However, I am not about to risk whatever fraction of safety I’ve managed to procure here. Either do it my way or I hit you with the stick and leave you in the fucking snow.” she ranted.

Daryl recognized the hard edge to her voice.

It was a bit of panic and, likely, exhausted that this was life now.

He got it so he held his hands up in surrender but kept his eyes screwed shut.

“Ok, we do it your way.” he said softly before adding. “Thank you.”

She took his hands again, helping him down and moving him forward.

Hoof prints sounded behind him.

“Uh…”

“Don’t mind Sprinkles. He knows where he goes and outside of an emergency he’d prefer if we don’t bother him until morning.” she said. “Trust me. He has a lady friend around here somewhere and you do not want to see that. When I say trust me, I mean trust me. You need to add some trauma to your life? That’ll do it.”

Daryl just nodded, a little unnerved by this woman but also becoming increasingly aware of the fact that he did need her.

At least for the night.

She was right.

He would’ve frozen to death.

The wind was nearly ripping him apart at the moment and then suddenly…. warmth.

The kind of warmth where it was such a stark contrast to the raging wind that it almost hurt for a second before it turned to a blissful ebb of comfort.

“Alright, you can open your eyes.” she said and he did, revealing them to be inside a room.

It was a strange thing with wood everywhere and with what seemed like an endless ceiling.

“Is this?” he said, eyes narrowing at his surroundings.

When they landed on the woman, her impish little smile confirmed his suspicions.

“Keebler elves aren’t the only ones who learned to live in trees.” she teased and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

That’s what he had thought.

They were inside a tree.

��The animals do it.” she shrugged.

“The animals are covered in fur.” Daryl pointed out even though it did seem fairly well insulated.

She lifted a brow and gestured to her attire.

The massive furry covering draped over her, the boots wrapped in fur.

To be honest, there wasn’t much of her that wasn’t covered in it.

“You’re the one who decided to go out severely underdressed in the middle of a snowstorm.” she said pointedly.

“Well, I hadn’t planned to be in the middle of a snowstorm.” he admitted.

“No one really ever does.” she shrugged. “‘Cept me but I’m used to this weather. Whenever you get ready to leave, I’ll give you some furs. I’ve got some things that will fit you.”

Daryl blinked at her kindness, “Thank you.”

She nodded and waved him on, “Come on. Let’s get you thawed out and get some food in your belly. I’m sure you’re hungry.”

“Starving.” he admitted.

“Well, that’s good because there’s plenty.” she said. “Follow me.”

Daryl followed this wacky woman deeper and deeper down into what he could only assume was the earth beneath his old tree until it was so warm that he actually began to sweat.

When they finally cleared the dim lighting of her tunnel systems he was almost blinded by the glow of firelight.

“Y/N, that you?” came a voice in the distance and it was then that Daryl noticed a rocking chair in front of that fire.

“Yes, Auntie. It’s me.” the woman, Y/N, answered. “I’ve brought a traveller as well.”

“You hid the way?” the older woman asked.

“Yep.” Y/N said, shucking her giant fur coverings and making Daryl do a bit of a double take at her soft, squishy shape.

‘That’s pretty.’ he thought to himself.

“He might have a concussion though.” Y/N admitted. “I may have rattled his brains like Rafiki the baboon from the Lion King movie. Remember that one?”

“What do you mean do I remember that one, you little brat?” the woman said, finally turning to reveal silver hair twisted into braids. “You nearly drove me insane with that movie when you were little.”

Y/N grinned and turned to Daryl, “This is Auntie. Just call her Auntie. She gets a bit testy about the word ‘ma’am’ and it’s no use to even ask for her name because if you try to say Miss anything, she’ll whack you with that cane.”

“So you come by the whole smacking people with sticks things honestly then?” he teased.

She grinned at him, “Well, truthfully Auntie and I aren’t blood related.”

“I think that only made it worse.” Auntie said from her chair.

“Why?” Daryl asked out of curiosity.

“Her mother and I were best friends.” Auntie said.

“Call it what it was, ya’ll were gay for each other.” Y/N said, taking her boots off.

She was less concerned with finding Daryl a blanket since he was literally sweating in front of the fire and more concerned with getting all her layers off before she overheated.

Auntie narrowed her eyes at Y/N, “It was a different time.”

“It was the 90s.” Y/N said.

“A different time!” Auntie said and threw her slipper at the woman. “Believe it or not, it still wasn’t very accepted even before the whole world descended into the end of times, young lady. And it had less to do with the time really and more to do with the location. Parts of the south didn’t take too kindly to it and more specifically the part that she and I lived in was small, racist, homophobic and generally terrible. All for about fifteen people or so. Those fifteen were angels but they suffered in that hell hole just as much as we did.”

“I’m sorry, Auntie.” Y/N said, tending to the large pot swinging over the fire. “I didn’t mean to offend you. I was just teasing.”

“I know. I’m just a bit sensitive today. The storm hurts my bones. I hate that I sound like my mother when I say that but it’s true. It suddenly explains why that demon of a woman was so cranky all the time. Her shit hurt.”

Daryl couldn’t help but laugh.

“What is your name?” Auntie asked.

“Oh, shit. I didn’t even ask that.” Y/N chuckled before handing over a bowl of stew with rich deep spices that smelled heavily.

“It’s Daryl.” he answered Auntie before nodding to Y/N. “Thank you.”

Y/N returned the nod but it was Auntie that spoke, “Well, Daryl, to answer your earlier question as to why it’s worse…. because that little brat has the face of the woman who I was very much in love with… but the attitude of myself. My mother always said she hoped I had a child that was exactly like me so I paid for my raisin. I didn’t even carry that one and, I’ll be if my mother didn’t get exactly what she said.”

The three of them chuckled but Y/N spoke, “I don’t mind that though. I miss mama but I can see her in the mirror and I think having your attitude is a pretty good thing. You’re a tough bird and you teach me every day. Besides, mama used to tell me that an attitude and a spirit were two sides of one coin and that she became a rich woman the moment she fell in love with you.”

Auntie sniffled, too proud to let them see her tears.

“That mushy shit you get from her though.” she said.

Daryl and Y/N nearly choked on their laughter… and the stew.

“What is this?” he asked, scraping up the last of his bowl.

“Auntie’s pozole.” she responded. “Here, gimme your bowl and have some more.”

Daryl didn’t argue when she ladeled him out another portion and fully prepared to tuck in when Auntie laid a hand on his arm.

“Y/N, the lime.” Auntie said.

“You have limes? In this weather?” Daryl asked in shock.

“Lime powder.” Auntie said. “Oh about three or four years ago when we were travelling, we’d yet to find our home yet and the little brat over there decided to go on a raid. I told her there was no way she’d find anything after all this time. Everything had been looted for years and there just wasn’t anything to be had.”

“But I had a hunch!” Y/N called from out of sight, making Daryl smile in amusement.

“Yes, she had a hunch.” Auntie said, rolling her eyes with a fond smile, “That she gets from her mother as well. The stubborn ass arguing that came when I told her not to and it was useless … Well, that’s all me.”

Daryl couldn’t help but laugh.

“Anyway, I tell her it’s useless. She swears it’s not.”

“And it wasn’t!” came that voice again.

“I forbid her to go and realized the moment I said those words, I had just carved it in stone that she WOULD be going no matter what. Every time my mother forbade me to do something, I nearly killed myself making sure I did it so when I said it and I saw that look in her eye…. I knew I better just hug her tight because she was going no matter what.” Auntie said. “Scared me to death. I worried for hours. I mean, in these times. It was just the two of us and I feared-”

Y/N came back around the corner, “Auntie, it all worked out alright.”

There was an apologetic look on her face as she added some spices to Auntie’s bowl.

There was a ghost of a memory on her face that told Daryl that the two of them had probably butted heads a lot over the years and maybe sometimes that hadn’t ended up so well.

It caused a ghost of a memory to pass over his own features when he thought of his brother, Merle.

She settled down on the floor between the two chairs.

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take your seat.” he said, getting up. “Here, I-”

“Sit down, Daryl.” Auntie said, waving him off. “There are other chairs if we need one. She’d rather sit on the floor anyway. She’s weird.”

“Hey!”

“You are!”

“Mama sat on the floor all the time.”

“Yeah and she was weird too.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, giving this one up as she handed a container to Daryl, “It’s lime powder so be gentle because it’s a lot more potent this way but a little makes a huge difference if you want to try.”

“Here.” he said, holding out the bowl. “You do it.”

She gave him a smile and a little sprinkle before settling back down.

“However, weird as I may be, I would like to point out that I was not wrong about my hunch that time and we are still benefiting from it to this day.” Y/N said, happily tucking into her meal and grinning when she saw Daryl’s eyes widen the moment the lime hit him. “Good isn’t it?”

“Amazing.” he said.

“It really is.” Auntie said. “And I do have to thank the little brat for it.”

“What did you find exactly? I mean, was it just lime powder?” he asked.

Auntie shook her head, “No, this kid comes back to our hideout with six duffle bags strapped to her.”

“What?” he laughed.

“Yeah, cutest little pack mule I’d ever seen.” Auntie said.

“Hey!” said Y/N, a bit disgruntled at being called a mule.

“I don’t even know how she moved with the way she had them on her so it’s still a mystery to me as to how she walked and managed to evade the undead.” Auntie said.

“Talent.” Y/N grinned, obviously proud of herself.

Auntie and Daryl laughed at the sheer cheek of her.

“In reality, it was sheer determination. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d had fresh limes and I thought, I’m taking this back if it kills me. Almost did when I nearly choked myself to death with one of the bag straps.”

Daryl couldn’t help it.

He cracked at the image of that and burst into laughter.

“Oh my God.” he laughed.

“Yeah, that’s what I said too because I was sure I was about to see him in about 3.5 seconds if I couldn’t get that thing off me. Luckily, Jesus loves me and let me take my limes home. Probably because he did not want to listen to the amount of complaining I would do if I got to heaven and realized that I choked to death on a bag strap… and didn’t even get to enjoy the limes.” she said.

Auntie shook her head with a smile on her lips.

“And where exactly did you find these limes?” Daryl asked out of curiosity. “I figured anything in a grocery store would’ve been long gone by that point.”

“Oh, it was and I had no intentions of going in those anyway. The undead tend to lurk there. I guess it’s kind of like a baited trap.” she said.

There was a moment of silence between the three of them as they acknowledged the reality of that statement.

“But I didn’t find them there. I found them in an abandoned garden nursery. I went in thinking maybe there might be some stray tools or seeds. Which there were, mind you. Another hunch proven right.” she sassed. “But what I didn’t expect was that there would still be a usable green house back there. It was overgrown but there were lime trees in there out your ass and as luck would have it, they were ripe and ready to be picked. So I damn well did.”

“She definitely did.” Auntie said, patting the top of the woman’s head fondly. “Five bags full of limes and one stuffed with seed packets and peppers.”

“It’s was great.” Y/N said. “I felt like I won the lottery. I went shopping, didn’t cost me a thing. See, Auntie. Jesus loves me. My guardian angel might be tired of my ass but Jesus? That guy? He loves me.”

Daryl couldn’t help but smile.

It was curious to him how she still seemed to keep her faith in the world that they lived in… but it was something that looked absolutely beautiful on her.

“Or maybe it’s because he’s got a sense of humor and he thought it would be hilarious to watch me waddle back with six duffle bags strapped to me all the while I tried to act like Ethan Hunt in Mission Impossible. Let me assure you, Daryl, I was not as graceful as Mr. Tom Cruise. I looked like a sassy penguin at best.” she said. “Either way. God still led me to the limes and that is a very good thing in my book. Thank you, Lord, for this delicious bowl of awesome which I am currently enjoying. I ask that you continue to bless me to be your funky little creation. Love you, man. ‘ppreciate you, lord. You da man.”

“If that offended you, try not to take it personal.” Auntie said. “She’s not being silly or making a joke. That’s just who she is and that’s just how she talks to God.”

“Hey, I’m not judging.” Daryl shrugged. “I’ve never been huge into it myself but the times I have I always thought you were just supposed to talk to him like he was your friend, right?”

“Yup.” Y/N said. “God is your homie. Believe that.”

“It can be hard sometimes.” he admitted, thinking back at all the people he’d lost.

“God didn’t do this to the earth.” Auntie said. “It came from evil. God knew it would happen, of course and we don’t understand why he works in the way he does but he does. I had to accept that when her mama passed.”

Daryl just nodded.

It seemed hollow to say ‘I’m sorry’ anymore.

Everyone had lost someone to this and to say it now just felt cheap at times.

“Mama didn’t turn or anything.” Y/N said. “She had cancer. God called her home before all this started.”

“That’s why I believe in God.” Auntie said. “Her mother was the purest spirit there was and I never could understand why she had to go. With cancer? And it was so sudden. She was fine one day, the next she passed out and then we’re headed to the hospital and the doctors say she’s got a month, maybe two.”

Daryl didn��t even know how to respond but he didn’t have to.

Auntie continued, “She made it three and then she died. She was at home with us. We gave her a beautiful funeral, laid her to rest and then the world ended. I thank God every day that he took her because I know what would’ve happened to her. With her kind spirit? She’d have been turned or worse right off the bat.”

“Mama worked at a nursing home until she got sick.” Y/N said, answering Daryl’s unasked question.

Realization dawned on him.

He remembered all too well.

The hospitals.

The nursing homes.

Those were awful and heartbreaking and soul crushing.

“She never would’ve left them.” Auntie said. “If she didn’t get turned it would’ve been because she would been eaten al-”

“Auntie-”

“I’m alright. Help me to bed, sweetheart. You two stay awake as long as you like and you get him fixed up, Y/N. But I’m tired and my leg is killing me. I need to lay down.”

Daryl was quiet as Y/N led Auntie to another room.

She appeared again once more to retrieve a pipe and a small pot of herbs before disappearing again.

The scent of lavender and mint permeated the air as Y/N moved back into the room.

“She’ll be alright. It’s the what ifs that get her sometimes.” she said with a shrug.

Daryl nodded, “I get it.”

“Well, are you still hungry? There’s plenty more.” she said gesturing to the pot still simmering over the fire.

“No. I’m full.” he said and patted his stomach. “Thank you. Where should I…?”

She looked to the bowl in his hand after he had trailed off, “Oh, I’ll take it.”

“Please.” he said. “At least let me help.”

She shrugged with an amused smile and let him follow her as she moved to the other room, “It’s just three bowls.”

“And three spoons.” he said.

“I’m not even going to wash them tonight.” she said. “I don’t want to bring more water to boil. Just gonna rinse them off until morning.”

“Still.” he said and moved up to rinse them.

He plunged his hands into the tub not at all expecting it to be as icy cold as it was.

“Little cold?” Y/N asked.

“Fuck yeah.” he said, yanking them out and happily accepting the rag she offered him.

She giggled, “Go sit down by the fire and I’ll bring you something to drink. Do you like tea?”

“I’m not a picky person.” he shrugged.

She snorted, “Alright. Well, we’ll have some tea and then I’ll show you where you’ll sleep.”

He nodded, “Thanks again.”

“Thank Jesus.” she shrugged. “I was just out checking the rabbit traps. He’s the one that sent your Guardian Angel. I’m sure they’re the one that caused me to follow the footprints.”

Daryl said nothing as he waited but he did say thank you to God because when she returned and her face was lit by firelight… he thought to himself.

‘Maybe I do believe. Angels must be real because God definitely sent me a Guardian Snow Angel today.’

……..

Hello, loves! I hope you enjoy this holiday content!

Hope ya’ll are having a great day!

Love you.

—

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