#imagine them having the same haircut

[this-is-a-choices-blog]

why does trystan‘s goody two shoes brother look like black male mc. is it just me or

[hakucho-art]

The Kaneki family <3

[skitskatdacat63]

Re: poll. The 4th one is an honorary mention bcs its not from the recent string of haircuts. And I almost regret putting it there bcs its by far the worst 😭 But like, it's so terrible, I couldn't just *not* include it in the poll. But it makes me die laughing every time I see it bcs I can't even understand how and why it looks the way it does

[bootleg-nessie]

Rating band names based on their accuracy:

(I keep updating this list so check back later)

The Beatles: 3/10. None of these people are beetles, they’re just a bunch of fruity guys from Liverpool with matching haircuts

(Edit: changed from 0/10 to 3/10 because John Lennon beat his wife)

Pink Floyd: 4/10. There is not a single person named Floyd in the band, but some of the members do arguably look kinda pink

Nirvana: 10/10. Getting high and listening to Nirvana is roughly what I imagine actual nirvana to be like

Foo Fighters: either 0/10 or 10/10. I have never seen foo in real life so either they’re pretending to fight a problem that doesn’t exist or they’re doing an absolutely fantastic job of fighting it

The Eagles: 0/10. Same as the Beatles, there is not a single eagle in this band. The name is misleading and we have all been lied to

Queen: 6/10. Partial points for Freddie Mercury

Led Zeppelin: 0/10. I don’t think any of these guys have ever even seen a zeppelin, let alone one made of lead. A lead balloon would crash faster than my hopes and dreams

The Rolling Stones: 3/10. There is not a single stone in this band. Some points added because I’m pretty sure they rolled quite a few

U2: 0/10. Despite what the name says, I am not a member of this band

Metallica: 9/10. Naming a metal band “Metallica” is like naming your dog “doggy”

Red Hot Chili Peppers: 2/10. These guys are not chili peppers. They’re not even that hot, let alone red hot

Guns N’ Roses: 0/10. How the fuck could a gun or a flower play music

Backstreet Boys: ?/10. Depends entirely on their current given location

Simon and Garfunkel: 10/10. No notes

The Doors: 1/10. Jim Morrison is kinda shaped like a door tho

Chicago: 4/10. The number of people in this band does not come even remotely close to the population of Chicago. Points added because it originated in Chicago

Earth, wind, and fire: 2/10. This is even more innacurate than Chicago. Points added because wind instruments were often used

Def Leppard: 3/10. There is not a single leopard in this band. Some of the members are probably kinda deaf by now tho

The Beach Boys: ?/10. Accuracy depends entirely on location

The Black Eyed Peas: 6/10. Not sure what the hell an ‘eyed pea’ is but the black part is pretty accurate

Imagine Dragons: ?/10. Depends entirely on whether or not they’re thinking about dragons.

Cage the Elephant: 1/10. Why would you do that. Let the elephant go

Green Day: 0/10. They’re not even green

The Police: 0/10. There is not a single cop in this band

KISS: 5/10. I’m sure they probably kissed sometimes

The Monkees: 0/10. Are you fucking kidding me

We Butter the Bread with Butter: 8/10. I can’t verify this but I have no reason to suspect that they’d lie. Butter seems like the most logical thing to butter bread with

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard: 0/10. I got really excited about the concept of a lizard wizard only to be let down. My disappointment is immeasurable

They Might Be Giants: 5/10. I googled everyone in this band’s height, the tallest guy’s only 6’1 so I wouldn’t exactly consider him a giant. Then again, I can’t really argue because the claim was only that they MIGHT be giants

The Presidents of the United States of America: 2/10. None of these people are Joe Biden nor are any of them former presidents. This is incredibly misleading. I’m pretty sure “Lump” was written about my first girlfriend tho so I’ll give them a point or two

Gorillaz: 2/10 Not quite but we’re kinda close genetically so I’ll give them partial credit

The Killers: ?/10. I have no way of verifying if they’ve actually killed before but the fact that they’re not in prison tells me probably not

The Offspring: 10/10. These guys are definitely somebody’s offspring

Arctic Monkeys: 1/10. They are neither monkeys nor are they from the arctic

Thirty Seconds to Mars: 1/10. It takes WAY longer to get to mars than that

Beastie Boys: 8/10. They’re pretty beast on the guitar

Jimmy Eat World: 1/10. Slow the fuck down Jimmy, you’re biting off way more than you can chew

Hole: 9/10. One point deducted because I’m pretty sure they had more than one hole

Rage Against the Machine: 10/10. They did exactly that

Alice In Chains: 0/10. This is illegal. Let Alice go

The Band: 10/10. This could not possibly be more accurate

Nine Inch Nails: 1/10. I can’t find any good pictures of their feet but from what I can tell their fingernails definitely aren’t nine inches long

Bush: ?/10. Not quite sure about this one, felt uncomfortable asking

The Who: 2/10. I’m not dealing with this “Who’s On First” bullshit

Radiohead: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a radio for a head

Queens of the Stone Age: 0/10. This band should be called “five random dudes from the modern era” but FRDFTMA is a bit of a mouthful

Soundgarden: 2/10. Sound does not grow in the garden

Sonic Youth: 5/10. They’re not exactly youth anymore but the sonic part checks out

Talking heads: 8/10. There’s more to the band than just a bunch of disembodied heads but the heads do tend to talk

The Cranberries: 0/10. Decent music but I only added them so that the Beatles and Freddie Mercury weren’t the only fruits on this list

The Wiggles: 8/10. They do tend to wiggle a lot

Blue Man Group: 10/10. Yep!

Weezer: 5/10. They all look like they definitely have asthma

Limp Bizkit: 3/10. While the visual image of baked goods playing the guitar is hilarious, Fred durst is not a biscuit. Points added because he probably has erectile dysfunction

Stone Temple Pilots: 0/10. None of these people are accredited as being licensed to pilot anything, much less an entire stone temple. Stone temples don’t need pilots anyways

Wasted Youth: 8/10. I guess it really kinda depends on how you frame it but yeah, they probably wasted a lot of it

Them Crooked Vultures: 3/10. These are people and not birds but Dave Grohl’s posture is kinda bad and John Paul Jones is so old that his neck kinda looks like a vulture’s so I added some points

Audioslave: 0/10. Slavery is illegal

Traveling Wilburys: 4/10. Sure, they traveled a lot but not a single one of those lying bastards was named Wilbury

D12: 6/12. There were only 6 people in this band

NWA: 10/10. I’m a little too white to safely comment on this one but I’d say they nailed it

Jet: 1/10. A real jet would be way too loud

Goldfinger: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a finger made out of gold

No Doubt: ?/10. I can’t really be too sure how Gwen Stefani felt but I think it’s probably a safe assumption that she had some doubts

The White Stripes: 3/10. I bet if you stripped them down naked and made them stand shoulder to shoulder and squinted really hard they’d probably look more like white stripes

Screaming trees: 3/10. They scream occasionally

Garbage: 2/10. I think they’re being a little harsh on themselves, their music isn’t THAT bad

Butthole Surfers: 5/10. Not even gonna touch this one

Megadeth: 3/10. To be fair, some of the former members are dead but only a little amount of death, not mega death

Dead Kennedys: 2/10. Last I checked Kennedy was still dead but neither he nor his clones are members of this band

Cake: 0/10. The cake is a lie

Cracker: 8/10. Most of them are

Tool: 7/10. I don’t know much about their music but they sure look like tools

Counting Crows: ?/10. Is this what emo kids do instead of counting sheep? Accuracy depends on whatever bird they happen to be counting at the moment

Dave Matthews Band: 10/10. It certainly is

Oasis: 1/10. Their music is the opposite of an oasis

Blur: 2/10. They are not that fast

Barenaked Ladies: 0/10. If I wanted to be this disappointed I’d reestablish a connection with my biological father instead

Meat Puppets: 10/10. Technically, aren’t we all?

Live: 8/10. Apparently they still do live shows but I deducted some points because I’ve only ever heard their music on Spotify

ABBA: 9/10. I’m still not giving any points to Guns N’ Roses but that’s mostly out of spite

5 Finger Death Punch: 8/10 I guess it probably depends on how hard you hit them but this seems to be the usual amount of fingers to punch somebody with

All American Rejects: 9/10. They’re all rejects from America so I don’t really see any issue with this

T. Rex: 0/10. Even if any of these people WAS a T. Rex I don’t think their arms would be long enough to play their instruments

Free: 0/10. Unless you steal their music, in which case it becomes a 10/10

The Strokes: 3/10. To my knowledge, none of them have had a stroke but I still added a few points because the name was probably accurate for other reasons

The Smashing Pumpkins ?/10. Another thing I have no way of verifying but this seems like a waste of perfectly good pumpkins

Therapy?: ?/10. The hell are they asking me for? I don’t know their medical history

Twenty One Pilots. 0/10. There’s only two of them and neither is a licensed pilot

Finger Eleven: 0/10. Leave the poor Stranger Things girl out of this

Fall Out Boy: 9/10. I conferred with an expert on this one who confirmed that they are in fact boys who had a falling out

Cream: 8/10. Considering this was the OG supergroup I’m sure a lot of people did in fact cream when their music came out

Edit: humans aren’t fucking monkeys. Stop saying we are

[sototallynormaliswear]

I'm kinda bummed that more people don't care for Isaac and Stiles' canon dynamic

you put them anywhere near each other, they are already fighting, insulting everything about each other, the haircut the trauma the outfit, no bars held. Isaac puts his hand too close to Stiles' face, stiles bites him. they have a staring contest while Isaac slooooowly pushes all of his stuff to the ground

but Isaac is one of the only people to go "hey stiles I think you're really fucked up are you straight up dying??" and stiles refuses to answer so Isaac is immediately more on edge. and Isaac was trusted to finally trap the nogistune, which I imagine stiles would have some pretty heavy sway over.

also, the scene at the lunch table? "you could try being helpful for once" "for half my childhood I was locked in a freezer so being helpful is kinda new to me" "you still milking that?" it's so easy to read this as stiles being a dick (because he kinda is) but watching back season two, Isaac is actually fairly reluctant to talk about his father, even to people that FOR SURE know what happened. further more, stiles just doesn't care in the same way about the pack that other characters do, so the pack isn't trying to justify themselves to him. so Isaac doesn't want to talk about it and stiles isn't pressuring him, but suddenly its four months later and Isaac is bringing it up casually and stiles isn't surprised about ANY of that. and they both refuse to skate around it despite that fact that that is one of their strongest skills. whether or not Isaac actually uses his father's abuse as a way to get out it isn't QUITE as interesting as the way that the two of them seem comfortable talking about it, especially when everyone around them DOES seem visibly uncomfortable

anyway. those two are my favorite pair of angry cats. they would die for each other. last week Isaac ate Stiles' homework. about a month ago stiles broke into his house to hide his spoons. they got each other for secret santa, Isaac got him a box full of pennies and a bottle of his mom's perfume stiles got him bottles of dirt and a handknit scarf

[for-those-who-wait]

I saw somewhere that playing dress up with your OCs is good for you and well. He's not an OC but it does make my brain happy. Ramblings and explanations below the cut

Featuring: 1. Non-canon sweater with semi-canon watermelon pants, and also glasses because HC that Hunter is blind as hell but only wears them at home. Also Flapjack-colored socks! 2. Canon sweater with non-canon pants. It's his outdoor version of the first one, and I also HC that this sweater was so old and frayed that he would eventually need to fix it up into the first one. 3. This one is inspired by the haircut scene and features a slap bracelet he conned off (asked very nicely to borrow from) Luz. They're colored based on the bi flag and are used to cover his Emperor's Coven sigil. 4. Swimwear. Calaiti helped me pick out the swim trunks pattern, and I decided bananas would be fun since they go with his watermelon pants. We both thought he would definitely wear a swimshirt. Another bi-themed slap bracelet 5. Admittedly an outfit from my own closet: cargo pants, crocs, and a high-necked hoodless windbreaker. I think he would be a socks with crocs kind of guy. Way too many pockets 6. Calaiti suggested a gardening outfit for when he would help out Willow and as such behold, it's one of his most worked-on projects. He has little birds on his pockets, and he repaired the front pocket and the knee. The plant embroidery was already there 7. Red hoodie with a bird emblem that he stitched on himself and glasses because he's blind. Also just boxers because that's very gender of him and he's very rarely barefoot if he can help it. I imagine this would be when he has the house or at least the basement to himself. 8. Channeling my love for transfem (and gnc) Hunter, probably the first piece of clothing he's cut and sewn from scratch. On his wrists can either be sweatbands or bracelets, but they're colored like the bi flag. Instead of him stealing them from Luz, Luz actually got them specifically for him to have. 9. The glasses make another appearance, his shirt is probably some knock-off Cosmic Frontier or NASA merch. I do think he'd like NASA! Also I think that if he has a silly bright yellow sweater, he would definitely have a pair of silly bright yellow pants. (I also think everyone would have to desperately beg him to please please please not wear both yellow things at the same time.) Another bi-themed slap bracelet 10. HC that the residents of the Boiling Isles have naturally evolved to expel a lot of internal heat to keep from getting overheated, and thus everyone is freezing cold and Hunter wears three layers without even breaking a sweat. Button-up shirt is the same as in 3. 11. Halloween costume! 12. Wolf shirt! Also glasses again

[frenchvanilla-mase]

fans are assholes | r. dias

summary: fans compare your pregnancy to fellow wags, leaving you to feel not so good.

notes: as requested! i don’t think i specified that it was twins but it still works. dad!ruben has to be my fav genre 🤪 i hope you all enjoy, some very cute at moments 💘 let me know what you all think! <3

IT WAS MATCH DAY, and although you were feeling rough like you had done the last 7 months, you had promised your fiancé you would make it to today’s knockout game rather than watching from home. he wanted you to support from the stadium, but he also wanted to get you out of the house too.

you were 32 weeks along and feeling very heavily pregnant.

yeah, it’s all fun and games when dating a tall man until you have to grow his unnecessarily large children.

all you wanted to do was lie down and moan this entire trimester, having nothing but a hard time with this one you were growing. you’d had every bad symptom imaginable, from the nonstop sickness and heartburn, to back and hip pain, difficulty sleeping and sore boobs, and now in the final stages you were experiencing braxton hicks, so yeah - all you did want was to lie down and whine. more than ever, you just wanted to stay in the comfort of your own home and nest.

“—you’re not even nesting though! you’re sitting here watching tv all day! get up and get ready!” rúben had said to you just yesterday morning after you’d told him you were too busy nesting to grab a coffee with him before training.

“mama, i think you should go tomorrrow . .” another sweet voice said from the sofa, glancing sympathetically in your direction.

your sweet boy, elias, didn’t want to offend you and make you feel like a slob, but he really wanted you both to go to his papa’s games. with school, you didn’t allow him to go to any late night matches which were always the majority, but tomorrow’s kickoff was 3:30pm and when he pitched the idea, you felt awful for feeling like you’d deprived him of some fun memories.

you really didn’t want to go, but your baby boy deserved it. he’d been working so hard in the last weeks of school and rúben would agree that you needed to take him - he wanted you both there just as much but he also knew not to tell a pregnant woman what to do - he wasn’t the one carrying an 8lb baby around in all summer.

“you nearly ready, baby?!” you called from your room, trying your best to look acceptable for today’s outing. you couldn’t remember the last time you’d done your makeup and styled your hair so neatly, baby dias was really kicking your butt that you hardly had any energy after a shower, let alone doing your makeup and hair.

you really needed them out so you could go back to your old self.

you didn’t remember pregnancy being this hard with eli. with him, you were able to get through the rest of school with him growing in your belly! taking notes and listening in class. sure, you had sickness and a sore back but that was really only at the start and at the end. given, you were younger and full of energy.

eli came along in the last of your teen years but you wouldn’t change anything for the world, same with rúben. he blamed that baby boy for being the reason he pushed himself so hard to get where he was today. he was such an easy pregnancy, and an easy kid.

being honest, you felt more unprepared for this new baby as a grown adult than you did as a teenager back in 2016.

with a few thuds across the landing and a solid jump at your bedroom door, you turned to see your 8-year-old all ready holding two thumbs up. with a man city kit on and trainers, he looked like rúben more than ever. seriously, if you got a photo of rúben back then, it was like looking at eli with a slightly different haircut. it scared you so much. “ready!”

traffic was always bad no matter what time you left, but you got there in one piece and already left eli with one of your closest friends and bernardo’s wife, ines, while you had to run to the bathroom even after such a short journey. jeans were longgg out of the equation so you’d gone with some loose, white trousers to go with the blue football shirt, hoping they didn’t wrinkle too much but still looked good with the outfit. “you are glowing!”

“no, it’s probably just my highlighter,” you pointed to your cheekbone as ines laughed cheerfully.

“no! you look amazing, what are you talking about?! i have missed you!” she couldn’t help but hug you again. “you’re ready to pop!”

she felt your bump and you huffed a sigh, pulling your sunglasses down, “i know, it feels like it.”

you didn’t really like being out this far along, not because you were afraid, but you were at that stage were you were starting to feel gross. like, you looked like a whale no matter what you wore or styled yourself to look like. realistically – you were one of the most beautiful pregnant women the internet had saw. truly, you may have felt like an elephant, but you were still posted on WAG accounts, getting shared by millions of women who begged they could only look as good as you when pregnant or better - envied you for still looking so hot while suffering the struggles of pregnancy.

how?! 😭❤️

life’s not fair!!!! 😫

what’s her secret?!!! 😍😭🙏🏼

but you could have gotten a thousand comments like that . . but all it took was the one bad one.

fucking hell, keep her inside 😂🫣

who is that??

🤣🤣🤣🤮🤮

a lot of the time you didn’t care because you knew how the internet worked, and you know the majority were sad-little-pathetic-football-fan men. they barely impacted you.

when it was women on the other hand . . .

“i just can’t believe one woman would say that to another woman,” you tilted your phone to show ines the replies. “what happened to the whole ‘girls help girls?’” you had to put your phone down before you ended up on a gossip page for arguing with people in your comment section.

“it’s always down to jealousy, babe. they hate you ‘cause they ain’t you,” she pointed, the same thing you had told her when she got her first negative comment, and you smiled at her attempt of making you feel better. she was such a good friend.

the internet was a weird place. your life was a weird place, you didn’t think there’d be a day people hated you for simply being with a person. you found it weird paparazzi followed you around when rúben was the famous one. you found it weird there were accounts dedicated to you when you didn’t do anything. it caught you off seeing people notice every little thing about you or knew things you forgot you’d explained. it did add a little bit of pressure knowing you were being watched and most likely compared to other beautiful WAGS. you’d be lying if you didn’t say you’d put on makeup in fear you’d be posted all over those news articles and WAG accounts.

you forgot how stressed matches made you until kickoff, two minutes in and already overthinking how this would go down. rúben had your heart fluttering nontheless with how he ran up and down the pitch, giving orders all sweaty and even repping the captain band for a bit. it made you feel real good about your baby daddy.

“come on, pa!” your son would shout when a bit of a ruffle would occur, his father speaking passionately to the ref with frustrating hand movements.

the halftime whistle blew and you let out a breath, fanning yourself as your body relaxed for a small moment. 0-0. “ma, i need to go to the bathroom.”

“me too, let’s go!”

perks of dating a footballer? renting out their own box for friends and family - including the private bathroom. no queues around hereee.

walking through the rows and steps, you couldn’t help but feel eyes pinned to you. ines would tell you because you’re a WAG of a player (you regret ever educating her on that term) but really you felt like it was because you looked like a whale making her way through the stands.

eli convinced you to do a lap of the stadium just once to ‘stretch your legs’ when really it was something he always liked to do as he believed it ‘made halftime pass quicker’. so hobbling around with few staff members recognising the kid (or rather seeing the clear evidence he was a mini rúben) , you strolled around the packed building, trying to squeeze past football fans, getting stopped once for a picture.

“thank you so much!”

“no worries at all,” you waved to the two girls, shooting them your kindest smile. they were so lovely, and even complimented you for ‘pulling off pregnancy so well’.

“you’re sLayiNg” eli mocked them, taking your hand.

“shut up,” you tutted. you appreciated being told you were still slaying.

“matt!”

the 8-year-old suddenly bolted to a familair security guard in a neon vest who was delighted to see the boy. “my man!”

you didn’t bother rushing over, you were out of breath as it was and decided to just lean on the wall while elias got his quick catch up, waving at matt instead. halftime was almost over. you should be heading back now.

“—not the best one though.”

“—no, sasha is definitely the best wag.”

i swear, the word ‘wag’ triggers you like nothing else.

you tried not to look around, but to your left, you could make out two bodies mingling with each other. both wearing light blue tops with stylish jeans and trainers, the two girls waiting outside the bathroom, trying to talk quietly between then in a mumbled manner.

you were a mum - you had mastered your hearing to hear the grass grow.

“–but sasha’s not pregnant?”

“–but if she was, she’d have a cute bump, not . . ”

their silence had you believe they’d glance in your direction, and it took every bone in your body not to stare dead on at them with a smile to let them know you heard every word - but you didn’t. you played oblivious and stayed watching eli, a forced sweet smile on your lips.

“–foden’s girl always has a cute little bump too!”

“–oh my god, yes. she’s stunning.”

“–he’s stunning too, to be fair.”

“eli, come on son!” you wanted to bang your head on the wall not wanting to endure the conversation anymore. now you’d tune in, you couldn’t tune out.

“–ok. bye matt! see you later,” he didn’t waste a second to return to you. “see you soon, buddy!”

you waved at matt and led him through the crowds, not meaning to hold his hand so tight until he pointed it out. “ow, ma, you’re hurting me.”

“sorry baby.” you didn’t sound sorry but you felt utterly hot and bothered. and not in the good way.

for some unreasonable reason, a small line of carts drove through the halls, and you stood against the wall as they passed by, holding your son by his shoulders. you could hear a small utter of whispers from your side but refused to turn your head. you really needed to fucking sit down.

“—dias’ girl! look at the size of her!”

“–rob that’s so mean! she’s pregnant!”

“WOW!” eli stole your attention as he almost stepped out in front of a last minute one zooming by. you smiled, and quickly manoeuvred him on your way.

“keep going, keep going,” you shuffled behind him in the stands, but stopped amidst a waiting line as someone caused hassle. your foot kicked something. “oh i’m so sorry!”

you accidentally tapped your foot to a lady’s handbag, but she smiled and waved you off. “you’re alright, don’t worry!” shortly adding, “i’m not surprised!” glancing to your belly.

it wasn’t malicious, but it was about to be the last straw of some floodgates. “ha! i know . . I’m like a whale.”

“how far along are you?” her friend asked.

“about 7-8 months,” you smiled sweetly, ignoring the fact they didn’t assure you that you didn’t look like a whale. thanks.

“oh wow!”

“i know,” you fake laughed. why wasn’t this line moving?

“is it twins or just the one?”

you tried to stop your eye twitching. who in the right kind said that?! was that . . a backhanded compliment?! what that even a compliment?! or was she genuinely asking in a stupid and nosey manner? “no, but it feels like it,” you fake laughed, and they did too. twats.

“oh my! you’re so big!”

“he or she will be a big boy or girl,” the other corrected with her pint in hand, knowing her friend’s words had just flown out of her mouth.

“yeah . .” you were done with this conversation but you didn’t dare be rude. thankfully, the line moved, and they waved goodbye. “congratulations!”

“thank you!” you replied, turning back around, mouthing absolute knobheads.

“mum, i don’t think you’re a whale,” eli’s hand patted your own that rested on his shoulder, bringing you back down to earth.

your heart thumped and although he didn’t look at you, your heart melted to a puddle as you squeezed his shoulders and ruffled his hair, knowing you’d embarrass him with a kiss. “thank you baby. you’re always to sweet to me.”

and he was. you actually . . wanted to cry. shock.

“hey!” ines greeted. “where’d you guys go?”

you only shook your head and nodded to you son who was standing again, ready and recharged for more yelling. you felt ines squeeze your hand and you looked at her, “are you ok? you look . .”

“yeah, i’m fine,” you dabbed your eyes and put your sunglasses back on. “just . . stupid stuff, and then e said something really sweet and i just,” you held your heart which made her laugh and reassure her for the time being. “ok, but . . you can tell me, y’know?”

“just being emotional,” you said the obvious, making her laugh as you leaned into her for support.

you would tell her later, but right now, you were going to use the rest of the game as your excuse to start screaming.

-

the game ended on a win. you saw rúben briefly when the players walked around and applauded, and eli mirrored his excitement and happiness, waving and calling to him as he spotted you guys. he was ecstatic you could make it.

it was after 6 by the time you got home and settled. you were about to order food when you second guess your options, today’s events replaying in your mind:

look at the size of her!

sasha would have a cute bump.

you’re so big!

you knew you were pregnant but there were far nicer things to say to a pregnant lady. what a bunch of assholes.

instead, you cooked some carbs up for eli and made yourself a seperate dinner, feeling the need to watch what you were eating now - you’d be giving birth soon and all those pregnancy cravings didn’t just leave when the baby came. you weren’t silly - you weren’t going to deprive yourself of food, but maybe they had a point - why wasn’t your bump considered cute? was it hard to tell you were pregnant? what were you doing differently?

you were on the verge of calling sasha and asking her what she put in her green smoothies when the door opened.

“meu amor?”

“in here champ,”

something rúben didn’t expect to see what you lying on the couch with a salad balanced on your bump, and you munching away like it was a 5-star dish. “what’s this about . . ?” he smiled sceptically, dropping his bag to the floor.

“what’s what?”

“that.” he nodded to your plate.

you shrugged. “took a notion for it.”

“for . . a salad?” he clarified, looking down at you, entertained in some sense.

your craving for the last 5 months had been anything with chocolate frosting on it. rúben had watched you talk yourself out of buying a tub of it on its own because you knew if was weird and would have to bake go use it.

“yeah.”

to be fair, the salad was tasty, and you were enjoying it but . . at 7 months pregnant? rúben tilted his head. “where’s eli?”

“is his room.”

“he had salad too?”

“he had pasta and garlic bread.”

now he knew something was up. you? not eating garlic bread? italian in general?

someone had said something to you.

he looked at you concerningly, but he was too afraid to ruin the peaceful moment. you seemed calm. he had won a game and you were in a good mood today. baby boy or girl mustn’t be giving you too much trouble so that was a win in itself. so he just leaned down and kissed you lovingly. “hi.”

“hi,” you smiled, pecking him three more times before he rose again. “well done today.”

“thank you,” his hand touched your belly for about two seconds before you swept it off smoothly with your own, squeezing it instead. you smiled up at him again, “love you.”

he kissed you again trying to hide his confusion – but something was up. you were being odd. “love you too.”

and he left and headed for eli’s room, leaving you to let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding before slouching again and continuing with your dinner.

-

the rest of that evening, rúben was correct. you weren’t yourself.

your mind was somewhere else, and your head wasn’t out of your phone. constantly scrolling, you had overanalysed every picture captured of you today and tried not to nitpick. reading comments. comparing yourself. he wondered what you were doing.

but everyone else did have small bumps. everyone’s looked so cute. they didn’t use pregnancy as an excuse to eat whatever they wanted or slack with self-care. they still wore tight clothing. they still looked gorgeous. you began to compare yourself to all these other wives and girlfriends on the page, wondering how on earth they looked that good.

ummmm, ‘cause maybe they’re 12 weeks along and you’re triple that?

the next morning, rúben kissed you in the kitchen before leaving. “what’s that?”

“what?”

“that,” he nodded to the drink in your hand.

“a smoothie?”

“for breakfast?”

“well yeah,” you furrowed your brows, and he immediately shook his head, pulling that judgemental, disapproving look you sometimes wanted to punch. “no, no, come on, don’t be silly, now,” he almost laughed, “you need to eat something proper.”

“it’s a smoothie, it has everything i need in it?”

“y/n, make something to eat. you’re almost 8 months pregnant for crying out loud,” he looked at you seriously. he didn’t want to sound like he was scolding you or making you feel stupid but you knew he was worried about the lack.

overprotective rúben had always been a constant in your relationship but when you were pregnant — phew, “you got my baby in there.”

“–and he or she is looked after, it’s a healthy drink—”

he took it from your hand and kissed your cheek in the process, taking it with him to training with a smirk, “stop being lazy and cook.”

you were furious. you were actually annoyed that he had taken the drink himself and didn’t find it funny. he kissed eli’s head and the door closed, and you were left highly irritated.

you couldn’t see eli shrink, but he did, looking wide-eyed at the table as he considered his dad a brave brave man in that moment to do that to you - considering the look of your face.

and as a pregnant woman with her emotional struggling to stay in check - you lost it as they all blended together once eli was dropped off at school, sitting in a car park of a café you regretted going too now that you sat with your decaf latte and triple-choc muffin. the frustration quickly turned to tears as you had a moment, eyes in your hands, thinking over everything the last couple days.

yes you were pregnant, but was there a need to be that big? were you even that big compared to others? were you really that bad to look at? that unflattering? did it even looking like you were pregnant? the loose clothing probably didn’t help, but who wanted to wear tight clothing? pregnancy was hard - it was hard to glamourise it all the time!

you’d never cried over looking bad the first time you were pregnant, maybe once or twice when a pair of jeans didn’t fit or you couldn’t reach your shoelaces, but never over the way you felt about yourself. you actually were starting to feel disgusting, and it was embarrassing because you let randomers make you feel this way!

. . and then the pathetic-ness turned into anger because why were people such assholes?! how can they not keep an opinion to themselves?! making you feel bad about your baby!

. . and then the anger turned to guilt because your sweet little baby was just trying to grow and be healthy and you were upset over it. tears again.

you didn’t know how to fix it. the damage was already done, you had a month left, there was no going back now with salads and smoothies, you yanked your paper bag with your muffin off the floor, eating your money’s worth. rúben subconsciously popped into your head as he was probably eating some fruit salad or nutritious sandwich at this time.

oh rúben. you wished he was here but you also knew you wouldn’t want him near you at the minute, not when you weren’t feeling yourself and you had people in your comments telling you he was on his way of replacing you.

he would call you stupid, but rúben just wouldn’t understand. he wouldn’t get being on the other side, the built in competition that automatically comes with being a woman, more than ever with this lifestyle he had given you. one where you’re compared left right and centre with a certain standard to achieve.

you bet every handbag you owned, he’d screw his face up and go ‘are you serious’ if you told him your issue. he knew you were above anyone commenting stupid things on your posts and found it immature of you in a way if you did take those things to heart - i mean they were nobodies! jealous nobodies! but that’s easy for him to say, his comments are flooded with never ending support, guys praising him for his talent, physique and hard work and most girls telling him to hurry up and leave you. spamming with flame and tongue emojis, thirsting over your man just the way you did, only boosting his ego more which rúben did not need.

so you just felt silly, and picked at your muffin, accepting your were going to be a whale wag.

you felt like a slob when you got back home, staying on the couch after cleaning, and then crying except you were watching a movie to blame it on that.

you still couldn’t get comments out of your head, i mean what was an ‘expired wag?!’ or a ‘busted oven?!’ what did that mean? and why always the skull emojis?!

scrolling once again through photos of comparison, you scrolled onto a beautiful pic of your beautiful bestie, ines, and straight away phoned her. “hey.”

“hey! what’s up! what’s going on? why do you sound you out of breath?”

“why do you think?” you laughed.

“girl are you crying again?!”

and you started talking. you had to get things off your chest and you needed ines to make you feel better, to assure you and let you rant, and she happily did, after all, you’d always been there when she was having a moment.

“–what did rúben say?”

“nothing, i haven’t told him anything. he’ll just tell me i’m being ridiculous.”

“he won’t!”

“ines, he would, he’s not like bernardo. rúben’s harsh!”

“so are you! which is why i can’t believe you’re still crying over this!”

he was harsh in the good way, in the same way you were. you were both practical. real. realistic. you picked each other up and told each off when you were being ridiculous. pulled each other out their asses. brought you back down to earth.

but you just needed comforted at this current moment by your girl.

as you continued to chat and laugh more than you thought, the front door opened without your acknowledgment and rubes stepped through. freshly showered after a long morning of training, he instantly heard your voice rambling over the phone. he took notice of the tissue also crumpled on the floor by the door (you’d been carelessly tossing them for dramatic effect) and paused after he thought he’d heard a sad sniffle. he closed the door quietly and crept near the living room.

“i can’t help it, i do just feel . . blegh,” you felt like you were being ridiculous but you couldn’t help it. “like, why does everyone keep making a big fuss about it? am i really that massively huge or am i just not liked?”

he heard another woman’s laughter on your phone and recognised her as soon as she began talking to you, “y/n, i promise no one is making a fuss of it, it probably just seems in your face all the time because you keep going back to check. i promise the world is not broadcasting you,” ines chuckled sweetly, which followed your sad laugh also.

“well the wag world does!”

“y/n!” she laughed, “you’re overthinking it. i promise you have nothing to worry about. the only person who’s opinion should matter to you is rúben’s and everybody knows he has you on a pedestal!” rúben found himself smiling. he’d always been a fan of ines. “he’s called you his wife since you came to manchester! he’s always been proud to show you off, you look good - you look amazing! people are just saying that stuff about you to make themselves feel better.”

“mm, i guess,” you sniffed, holding your forehead. “i don’t know, it’s just been getting to me . . and i’m not saying to rúben because he’ll tell me i’m being stupid. i wouldn’t be surprised if he was leaving an hour earlier in the mornings to get away from me. it’s not like my looks can make up for my psycho-ness anymore,” you joked.

“y/n!” she tried not to laugh. “though, pregnancy psycho-ness is definitely real.”

it is, rúben mentally agreed also, though his heart still sank further as he heard you talk about yourself in such ways. he didn’t want to call you ridiculous but come on, you were pregnant! didn’t they all count as compliments to a pregnant lady?!

“it is,” you let out a sigh, “i wouldn’t want to be around me either, just this big angry rhino walking around the house,” you laughed together, “he goes to a paris event on friday anyway, he’ll get a break and have plenty of french models to—”

a clear of a throat had you whipping your head to the door, seeing rúben’s hard stare. your mouth went dry. “uhhh, ines i’ll call you back.”

you felt bad hanging up as she was speaking back, too shocked you’d been heard rambling for the last couple minutes. or probably longer! how long had he been standing there?!

“listen—”

“french models?! french models, y/n.”

“rúben, it’s not in context—”

“oh i heard the context, i heard everything,” he came in the room, not one spot of happiness found on his face. he was fuming. you could tell, and disappointed too, you felt like eli getting told off by him, throwing yourself back into the couch as he stood with that gruff, intimidating look, hands shoved in his pockets.

“you don’t get it—” you could already feel the tears welling in your eyes, though a pit of frustration was brewing in your chest hot and fast. this was going one of two ways.

“what don’t i get? you don’t tell me what’s wrong when i ask you!”

“‘cause you wouldn’t understand!”

“ok but what i do understand is my wife accusing me of what? getting to pick which ‘french model’ i want to take home next week?”

now your face fell flat, realising how ridiculous and cruel that sounded. you shouldn’t accuse him of that kind of stuff.

“rubes, i just—” your mouth felt dry again. tears brimming again, you could feel how hot they were. the words were on the tip of your tongue but you didn’t know how they were gonna come out.

“what is it? tell me,” he pushed, eager for you to actually get out what you wanted to say so he could help sort it. “i’m here to listen.”

and you did, you unleashed it all. “people are assholes. your fans are assholes. i’m sorry but i cannot believe the stuff people have no issue saying to other people - pregnant people at that! as if the 9 months aren’t hard enough, i have this mob of men and women on my back, judging and critiquing my every outting. i can’t do it anymore, it’s actually ruining whatever self-confidence i have left!” the tears were streaming as you began your rant, choking down sobs as you moved your hands, a fury behind all the sadness.

rúben crouched down, wanting to be nearer as you let it all out. “every day, every hour, i have someone online, reminding me off how big i am, how unflattering my paparazzi pic is, how whale-like i am! how hard it’s gonna be to shift this baby weight! i’m getting put in competition with every other pregnant wife and girlfriend of your teammate and showed how much better they pull it off! how gorgeous they look all the time! how their bumps are ‘cute’ and small and ‘suits them.’ i heard it myself at your game the other day! it’s like they’ve never seen an un-photoshopped pregnant woman before!” you met his eyes, realising you were probably being silly and that there were bigger problems in the world. “i just feel disgusting, rúben. i never felt like this with eli, i was in this perfect little bubble but this time so different. i don’t want to leave the house when i know a monstrosity of photos are getting taken of me, pointing out every flaw. i don’t have a cute, small bump! i do look like a whale! i can’t dress sexy! and i get what people are saying when they say it’ll be a bit before you can look at me again ‘cause god knows—”

“shh,” he quickly silenced you, placing a finger to your lips. his brows were furrowed as yours did, fed up of hearing you ramble about all the bad things about yourself. he felt pain in a way. he just couldn’t believe you actually thought these things about yourself. “wha— . . . are you being serious?”

“OH MY GOD!” you threw your arms up. see!

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry, meu amor,” his big hands softly caressed your legs in front of him, along your smooth thighs to stop you from exploding again, “i’m sorry. it’s just . . i . . it annoys me that you let these things get to you, these random, strange people that you don’t even know. you take their opinion over mine. so mine doesn’t matter, it doesn’t count?” he looked you deeply in the eye, “how does that make sense? explain that to me.”

your head hit the cushion as you groaned but rúben held your hands comfortingly. he didn’t want to make you feel stupid, but he wanted to hear your thought process. “to me, it’s like . . you have the choice of walking into a room full of all these people who hate you, and you know the hate you, after being in one full of people you love . . and you go into the hateful one and are surprised that all these people are saying all these bad things about you when you could have just left it alone and focused on the lovely ones - from people who matter to you! who are actually in your life! do you understand?”

you nodded along, entranced by his eyes and how they were able to ground you alone. “you know that i think you’re the best thing in the world. you know i would love you if—” he thought off the top of his head, “you had 10 extra toes. a third eye. if you had a cow nose. elf ears!” your hair slipped silkily through his fingers, “you know i think you’re the most beautiful woman ever even dressed in a trash bag. i would still love you if you did wear trash bags. if you had a cow nose. if you weighed the same as a cow. if you weighed the same as a baby cow,” you broke a chuckle at that. “i’ve loved you through our ugly teen years, when i shaved my hair and your eyebrows were stick thin,” you laughed more as he let out a breath of relief, “i loved you when with vomit down your shirt and your hair dyed that weird colour—”

“rúbennn . .”

“what? and i loved you when you had eli in your stomach, and he was big baby,” his hand touched your belly, moving it in the same motion he always did because that’s when he got to feel the small kicks of this baby dias. “i loved you even more even when i saw how he came out,” he shot you a wildered look.

you facepalmed, dragging your hand down dreadfully at the thought of having to relive that moment all over again in over a months time.

his features turned as his thoughts turned sour, “why are you letting stupid fucking people affect you?”

“i don’t know . . i guess ‘cause so many people are saying it i . . it must be true to some extent—”

“y/n—”

“seriously, rúben. i don’t have a cute, small bump. ines and rebecca are always such sweet—”

“Y/N! have you SEEN the size of bernardo and phil next to me! is it any wonder they’re small! their child comes out the same size as them!” his hand shot out with passion.

now your head was in your hand with muffled laughter, caught off guard by his statement. “seriously! seriously, now you’re supposed to be the smart one,” he tried to look at you, that loving smile shining your way as his heart sang at the sound of you laughter. “you’re shocked that me, that we, have big babies . . that ines has a much smaller bump than you . . are you serious? that rebecca has a smaller bump than you? rebecca, phil and elway stacked on top of each other wouldn’t even reach the height of me!”

“rúben,” you laughed, feeling an actual blush of embarrassment coat your face at how stupid he’d made you feel, but in a good way.

he was so right. what were you thinking?

“i’m like, the biggest guy on the team! sorry i didn’t realise that was gonna be a problem for you,” you lightly hit his shoulder to wrap up the sarcasm, still giggling. he looked at you from the floor, his hands still on you, on your leg on bump — the bump that he did make look small next to his hand. “and please remember you’re a month away from giving birth, you’re supposed to be a healthy size. and i been going to training an hour earlier ‘cause i know when this one comes along, i’ll not want to go as much and i’ll want to stay with you both. i’ll start working on my dad bod . .” he felt the small, subtle movement happening inside, but he could feel them if he kept still enough.

“you’d look good with both.” you rolled your eyes.

“and you’d still look better. y/n, you’re not a whale. please stop saying that,” he finally crept to his feet, climbing on the couch on top of you, leaning his arm behind your head. “you are the most beautiful-est woman to me and no-one, NO-ONE can convince me otherwise. you’re my standard of perfect, of gorgeous and sexy and all the rest of it. i’ve found you sexy before this baby, during this baby, and after this baby — i still get comments of people telling me how ugly i look when you’re next to me! you bring my value down!”

his arm wrapped around your neck while the other threw itself over your bump, shifting and snuggling into the sofa more comfortingly, you relaxed alongside him, the tears no trickling down but with good reason behind them as you were shocked to find your love growing even more for rúben when you thought it was impossible. “i don’t know what comments you’re seeing because all i see are the ones calling you a milf, and it takes too much time to try and report them all.”

you held his hand at your shoulder, his lips kissing your cheek repeatedly, over and over again. you knew how much he loved you. “yeah, you’re right. fans are just . . assholes.”

“fans are assholes,” he agreed, stroking your cheekbone, “. . don’t listen to them. you think i listen to everything they say about me?” he perked a brow.

sometimes! you wanted to say but knew better. it was rhetorical question, and you knew his sweet intentions.

“alright? i don’t so why should you? you’re hot stuff babe,” he looked at the side of your face, inspecting every little freckle and faint scar, he just wanted to never stop kissing you. “i love you the way you are. eli loves you for the way you are, and this baby,” he rubbed circles on your belly, “he or she is going to be so unbelievably lucky when they see who they have as their mam. i know it’s not the smallest bump but i think it’s the cutest i’ve ever saw, with my baby girl or boy in there,” he kissed the size of your stomach. he grew more and more excited each day as he got a day closer to meeting who was inside. he couldn’t wait. “. . who they get their good looks from and skill and personality - well, i mean i would like to take some credit for the both of those ‘cause i mean their daddy is pretty c—”

you playfully jabbed his side, making him laugh. “yeah, he’s the hottest one on the field,” you glanced at him, kissing his cheek.

one thing about him, he’d always blessed you with beautiful children.

“yeah, and their mum is coolest one at the school pick up,” his lips trailed along your cheek to your jaw, the slight scruff of his beard tickling you. “you’re the biggest milf to walk the planet–”

“rúbennn,” you chuckled, blushing at his words whilst trying to push him away.

“i’m serious,” he proceeded, peppering kissed down your neck, “and she’s coming to paris with me for the weekend so she can outshine me like she does at every event she comes to.”

you laughed at that, smiling dreamily as he proceeding to love on you.

“and eli?”

“elias gets to stay with his favourite uncle who owes a favour,” he winked.

“hmm. ok.”

“and i’ll give her a reason to cry if she starts thinking like that again,” he whispered in your ear.

your heart slipped a beat. “oh yeah?”

“ohh yeahhh,” he nodded, standing to his feet, not before a loud ‘smack’ echoed the room as he mimicked what your poor backside would get if you kept up that kind of behaviour. “see you upstairs, mama.”

you blew your hair from your face, heart thumping, your hands slowly crept up to your adorable little bump where you caressed it gently as he headed for upstairs, whispering softly, “you are soo lucky he’s your papai.”

your heart raced as he peeled his hoodie off, back muscles staring right at you as he headed for your room, you felt your insides begin to sizzle.

— but you were even luckier he was your husband.

[sabertoothwalrus]

here are some preliminary sketches I had done in my sketchbook for the peepaw chilchuck comic.

I wanted to follow it up with some worldbuilding thoughts I had while working on it, if that sort of thing is interesting to anyone:

- it’d take place 5ish years post-canon

- I changed almost everyone’s hair to show time had passed. Chilchuck and Kabru were the most drastic (I COULDNT STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT LONG HAIR KABRU THAT KUI DREW), Marcille grew out her bangs, Senshi’s beard is slightly shorter, and Izutsumi’s hair is mildly longer. Laios and Falin give me the impression that they’re the brand of neurodivergent that’d pick one haircut and stick to it for the rest of their lives. I almost gave Laios facial hair but idk he’s gotten over his daddy issue enough for that.

- Emertim Chils: I tried to follow both the half-foot and dwarven naming conventions for the baby, so Emer- comes from “emerald” (dwarven names are often gemstones or ore) and -tim because Chilchuck’s father’s first name was Tim :) Dwarves don’t have family names, so Emertim would take Chils, same as Flertom. Usually they’re named after their father but I didn’t wanna name a random dwarf man. thank you Chel for helping name him 🫶💕

- Initially the idea that Chilchuck would keep an entire grandchild a secret was just a joke, but it made sense when I thought about it. I wonder,, would dwarf/half-foot couples have trouble conceiving? Because if so, I’d imagine Flertom may have lost a couple pregnancies. Chilchuck is already such a private person, and I don’t think he’d feel comfortable airing his daughter’s grief like that. They wouldn’t wanna tell anyone until they were sure this baby was gonna make it.

- For the above reason, Chilchuck would absolutely spoil this kid. Not that he wouldn’t have spoiled his grandkids anyway, but I think after all that stress, he’d be extra extra doting. He’d be letting him do things he’d never DREAM of letting his own daughters do. Completely different parenting style.

- I think he’s still too prideful to take advantage of Laios being King (sidenote: is Laios even wealthy??? does a kingdom that sprung up from a previously-sunken continent even have money?? what the fuck is their economy), but like,,, if Laios offered any gifts he wouldn’t exactly say no.

- Izutsumi surprisingly really likes the baby :3 she’d like to take naps with him and he’d like her purrs and she’d have a lot of fun playing with him.

- SENSHI. meemaw mode. That kid would grow up not realizing Senshi isn’t technically one of his grandads. He is FEEEEEDING this kid.

- LAIOS DOES GET TO HOLD THE BABY!!!!!! just. eventually. They don’t actually expect a Tarrare situation LMAO they just wait until the kid is a little less fragile and a little more mobile. I think Laios would be really good with toddlers.

- Chilchuck is very thankful Emertim’s half-foot genes kick in sooner than later because he was getting too big for him to carry.

- Emertim would probably get the extended lifespan. He and Marcille would get to stay friends for a very very long time :’)

- my personal headcanon is that Chilchuck and his wife decide to split. He still loves her and it’s probably still a bit mutual, but after four years of almost no-contact, they decide their communication issues aren’t working well for their relationship. Plus, the Adventurer’s Bible says Chilchuck is renting their old house out to family, and he’d feel bad kicking them out so he and wife could move back in. They’d still be on good terms, and would be good at coordinating when to babysit.

[orteil42]

some undifferentiated thoughts about my Starfield playthrough as i have them. i am a game developer with a strong interest in procedural generation and i've enjoyed a bunch of other bethesda games so this might get pretty mean sorry

(this is a long one)

starfield dialogue is already exhausting me "oh you must've been living under a moon rock ;)" get it! because they're in space! this would've been too corny for the Jetsons

there's a kind of cheap dusting of space theme over everything. the food isn't salmon but alien salmon. it's not seaweed but alien seaweed. cooking alien stir-fry. come on

cannot get over how clumsily the theming is handled. books, board games, weapon names revolve heavily around space. these people have been living on alien planets for hundreds of years yet have this unending sense of novelty about it. the game takes itself completely seriously but feels like it's attempting to parody itself

people's EYEBALLS are CLIPPING THROUGH THEIR EYELIDS

a woman is speaking to me in french. her accent is about as believable as her haircut

these are some of the worst reflection maps i've ever seen

next to nothing is interactive. you can sit in chairs and sleep in beds and that is about it. can't even drink from people's toilets. disgraceful

game helpfully crashes 5 seconds after i decide i should get some sleep. very handy!

my character has not said a single thing since i started playing. not one peep. this is an unmitigated improvement over Fallout 4 i'm so glad honestly

the more i poke around the big city the more the NPC quips feel like something out of gen-1 pokemon. can't get enough of this coffee :) this city is where it's at :) spacesuits are comfy and easy to wear

very strange sense of altered reality from the quest dialogue too. has anyone at bethesda met a person before? i move on to some mission that has me scanning wildlife on a faraway planet hoping this will, somehow, feel less alien than human conversation

just as with No Man's Sky, every planet is uniformly dotted with equidistantly-placed points of interest that you slowly make your way to (no vehicles besides your jetpack) which always turn out to be some cave or building identical to those you've cleared before

unlike with No Man's Sky, the seamless exploration is faked and the biodiversity is nil. you do get an impressive amount of raw loading screens however

the prefab bases and power stations found everywhere on planets seem to have very sparse, very specific slots for spawning consumables, which results in encountering some giant industrial installation in the middle of nowhere with, i don't know, a loaf of whole-grain sandwich bread just casually sitting next to it all proper. there is no breathable atmosphere here. who is eating this

planetary traversal is a CHORE. i am saying this as someone who loved Death Stranding

heinous "hold to confirm" buttons sprinkled in various flow-breaking places throughout the interface

enemy AI is abominable. nobody is pathing their way to get my ass. "must've been the wind" taken to the next level. an infant playing peekaboo has more object permanence

hoisting yourself up on ledges when jumping is…nice

companions randomly nowhere to be found. persists through multiple fast-travels and loading screens until, just as randomly, they pop back up

storage space is now limited! unlike in Fallout 4 and virtually every other bethesda game, your containers now hold a finite item capacity. god forbid we let the player have fun

baffling inventory UI. i imagine there's a mod out there that completely overhauls it the way SkyUI did for Skyrim. this should not be needed! how are your UIs getting worse a decade later!

scanning the precious few species inhabiting some dusty planet; one of them is this arching red root i've already seen several times before. my job done in this biome, i travel (read: teleport with a loading screen) to the polar region to find some other species. the first one i catalogue is the exact same red root again but this time it's named "boreas root" todd howard is a genius

some alien horror comes at me full fangs out. i hop on a pebble. obscenely, i am safe

procedural terrain generation beyond dull, impossibly unimaginative. these people have not had one critical thought on what makes a procedural world interesting. beginning to feel validated in my belief that only i should be trusted with proc gen. along with perhaps tarn adams

jokes aside this is making me feel genuinely insane. there have been excellent procedural generation techniques that produce compelling explorable maps for decades now. bethesda absolutely has the budget and know-how to do miles better than this yet somehow they just…do not? the same way Pokemon has decided to just no longer bother with their mainline games despite being the highest-grossing media franchise in history? hello? what is for real going on

some of the most cynical breadcrumbing i've seen in years. approaching some random cave and this person in space gear, who in the vast immensity of the infinite cosmos just happens to be snapping pictures right here, tells me more-or-less verbatim "if you like this place, you should see this other place" [other random cave has been added to your map.]

i do not like how good this makes No Man's Sky's gameplay look. it depresses me how much i have to hand it to No Man's Sky for at least not fucking up this bad. please stop making me wish i was playing No Man's Sky instead this is grotesque

i think i've exhausted my interest and patience for this game at the moment. i'll get back to the main story at some point and try some other systems ie. crafting and base-building to see if there's any engagement to be found but so far, my god. my god

[steddie-island]

Tender Headed

I saw this post by @mothofmyth and couldn't stop myself. I hope this does your idea justice. ❤️ ao3 | Divider by @cafekitsune

Someone else was standing at Steve’s usual station, instead of his usual girl. 

It wasn’t a girl at all. 

“Hey! Do you have an appointment?” not-regular-stylist asked.

“No– yes? I, uh– I have a standing appointment. With Kayla?” Steve brushed his fingers through his hair and looked around at the otherwise empty salon. 

He’d been looking forward to this for weeks, practically since the end of his last appointment. The thought of having to cancel, of having to reschedule because she was out sick or something– it made Steve’s skin feel too tight, itchy.

It made tears prick at his eyes like this was a bigger deal than just a stupid haircut. 

Which. Okay, maybe it was for him, but it’s not like any of the stylists, like this stranger , needed to know that. 

“Are you okay, man?”

Steve blinked, bringing the man back into focus again. He was pretty, with long curls piled up on top of his head and a delicate black hoop hanging from his septum. His cut off sleeves showed the ink decorating his arms and disappearing under the fabric. 

He had to shake himself to bring the man’s voice back, to stop ogling him. 

“--won’t be back for a few months,” he was explaining. 

“What?” Steve knew this guy probably thought he was an idiot, but his mind was thick and sticky and nothing this guy was saying was sticking. 

“Early maternity leave,” he said again, patiently. “I’m Eddie, I’m taking her station over while she’s gone.” He gestured to the empty salon again. “I don’t have any appointments right now, if you’re cool with a substitute…” 

Steve almost turned around, but there was something about the wide brown eyes that fixed on him that made him stay. 

“I… sure. Yeah.” It wasn’t like he was that attached to his hair anyway. Yeah, he wanted it to look good, but not to the point that everyone else thought he did. 

It wasn’t about the haircut. 

He followed Eddie back to the washing station. Even though this was a stranger who was going to be taking care of him, Steve still felt a shiver go through him as he got situated. 

There were a few clinks, metal against ceramic. Steve tipped his head back enough to see Eddie removing several chunky rings and placing them in a little dish. A towel was rolled up carefully and placed beneath his neck. 

“Tell me if this is too much.” 

The water was cool, which Steve was prepared for. What he wasn’t prepared for was the way those long delicate fingers touched him. Kayla was gentle, but it was nothing like this. 

The way Eddie scrubbed so carefully at his scalp made Steve melt. Each fingertip was so deliberate in its movements, in the way his hair was gathered back and brushed out of his face. Eddie’s fingers trailed over his ear and Steve had to bite his lip. 

Maybe this was too much, but he couldn’t stop it. 

He’d never been handled like this. No one had ever touched him like he was a delicate, breakable thing. Sure, he cuddled with Robin. He got to hug the kids, and Joyce, and Claudia.

But this was… something else. 

Eddie wasn’t getting anything out of this– not the same way everyone else got something, like, paying him for his service was different, right? 

Steve was going to see it as that, anyway. He imagined Eddie wasn’t touching him like this because he was getting a big tip from it. 

He imagined that Eddie was brushing water off of his forehead with a knuckle because he just wanted to know what the skin felt like there. Those calloused fingers were tucking the hair behind his ears because he wanted to study the curve of his tragus– maybe wondering what Steve would look like with a hoop there, like the one in his own ear. 

Eddie’s thumb was wiping away water from his cheeks because he wanted to know if Steve’s cheeks were rough with stubble or not, and not because this was just a professional courtesy.

Only maybe this wasn’t a professional courtesy. 

Because it wasn’t just water that Eddie had sprayed on him. Steve was fucking crying . 

He wanted to run, but before he could even get up Eddie was putting a damp hand on his shoulder. 

“Stay. You’re okay.” Eddie’s voice was a low rumble that Steve wanted to hide in. “I’ve got you, big boy.” 

How was Steve supposed to not listen to that? He settled back into the chair and let Eddie rinse away the shampoo. Then those nimble hands were working the conditioner into his hair just as gently. The touches were a little more solid now, though. Eddie’s fingers grazed his neck, touched his cheek, wiped more tears from his cheeks. 

“You’re not the only person who comes in here for this.” Steve couldn’t even find the words to ask if he was that transparent. It wasn’t like the crying couldn’t have been from him being tender headed, or from the water being too hot. He was too focused on Eddie speaking to him to try to make excuses for himself. 

Eddie’s voice was soft and low. It was comforting, and it wasn’t hard for Steve to imagine how he would sound if he were singing, the way the words would wrap around him. Would it make him feel the same way he felt with his hair wrapped around Eddie’s hands? 

He was in the shampoo chair for three times as long as he normally would be. Eddie took his time with the conditioner and gave it extra time to sit. He was just as thorough about rinsing it, then about working a smoothing serum through his strands. 

By the time Eddie was wrapping Steve’s hair loosely in a towel and sitting him up, Steve was feeling lighter than he’d felt in months. He figured he should have felt raw and vulnerable, and there was a little bit of that, but Eddie’s presence was calming. Maybe it was the way he chattered as he started working on Steve’s hair. He talked about other customers, about his uncle, about how he’d been doing his own hair for years. He even brought up the time he’d burnt his hair with bleach so bad he’d had to give himself a buzzcut, because that was better than the spongy mess he’d left himself with. 

Steve started opening up, too, by the time Eddie was drying and styling his hair. He talked about his own worst haircut, about the time Robin had let him bleach her hair and she had ended up with a streak of green in her hair instead of blue. At least it had been cute, though. 

Eddie spritzed Steve’s hair once… twice… a third and then a fourth time before smiling at their reflections in the mirror. This close, and without tears in his eyes, Steve could see the dimples in his cheeks. 

“What do you think?” Eddie brushed his fingers over the ends of Steve’s hair, then dropped a hand to let the weight of it rest against his shoulder. 

“I think it’s great.” Steve smiled back at him. It looked the same as it did when Kayla had worked on it, but he’d never looked this good before. Maybe it was the cut, or maybe it was just the way Eddie had put something bright back into his eyes. 

Steve pulled his card out to pay but Eddie refused. 

“I think we both needed today,” he’d said before smiling and sliding his card across the counter. “I hope you come back and see me sometime, Stevie. I’m happy to take care of you anytime.” 

Normally Steve might take that as flirting– and maybe it was, the way Eddie’s dimples popped even more and his eyes really sparkled under the light. It wasn’t just flirting, though, and that made warmth blossom in Steve’s chest. 

“Yeah, man. Definitely.” Steve tucked the card away and turned for the door. “Actually…” He looked back at Eddie, who had picked up the broom. “Do you maybe want to get a drink after work?” 

Eddie’s grin was bright. “Hell yeah. Why do you think I didn’t charge you?” he teased. “I get off in an hour.”

Steve laughed with him. “Cool. I’ll see you in an hour, then.” 

---

As it turned out, Steve didn’t need to come back in an hour because he hadn’t left yet. He was still there, helping Eddie clean things up. They talked about the kids Steve babysat, and Eddie pointed out that maybe it was okay for him to just say they were hanging out, because fifteen and sixteen year olds didn’t tend to need babysitters anymore. 

They picked up food in Eddie’s van, and they drove to the quarry to eat sitting in the back of it, with the doors open and two milkshakes between them. 

When they shared their first kiss that night it tasted like salt and fake strawberries. They parted ways with plans to see each other again the next day.  

Maybe it was okay that Steve didn’t have a standing appointment with his usual stylist anymore. 

[pinescent-and-gingerbread]

BABE!!! Arthur seeing how sweet you are with little Jack and kids you meet in town and unconsciously starts drawing how your (yours and his) child would look like in his journal

would they have your eyes or his? he tries both options. a boy who would grow old with his large shoulders or a girl who'd become as sweet as you

HE'S DRAWING EVERYTHING, GIVING THEM NAMES

OMG SAMY!!! I caaaaan't!! He would just dream of it all the time, drawing every possibility, imagining them with his hat on their little head!!

"Honey? What are you drawing?" You asked your lover, eyes full of curiosity and wonder as always when you spotted him scribbling in his journal.

"Oh, uh... Nothin' jus'..."

Arthur's cheeks started turning red, his words mixing together in his low mumble you had grown fond of. He had always been shy about showing his drawings to you, convinced they were bad, that you would make fun of him. However, he grew more comfortable after months of being with you and hearing your praises about it. It had been such a long time since you've seen him this flustered about his sketches...

"It's a... A dream. I guess..."

He slowly opened his journal a bit more, allowing you to see what it was all about. You have to concentrate a bit to understand what you're seeing. It looked like a dozen of portraits of a younger version of you, or a younger version of Arthur. They were from all ages, children and teenagers sharing the space of the pages.

Sometimes, they even looked like they had both of your features merged. Arthur's square jaw and your little nose. Your lips along with his cheeks. The cutest little girl you've ever seen has your haircut, hidden under Arthur's hat, looking way too large for her little head. A teenage boy with the same strong build as Arthur's carries one of your necklaces, this silver locket of yours where you can hide a picture in it.

Next to each portrait, Arthur had written a name.

"Pearl, Annie, Rose, Grace."

"David, Jacob, Charlie, Hosea."

"Are they... Arthur, are they our children?" You asked him in disbelief, the biggest smile on your face, sparkles glimmering in your gaze as you were more and more mesmerized and moved by what he had drawn.

"I mean... I saw how you played with those kids on the street this mornin' and... How you're taking care of Jack at camp. I couldn't stop thinkin' you'd be such a good momma..." He tried to explain himself, rubbing his neck with a sheepish grin, putting charcoal stains all over his neck because he hadn't put down his pencil.

"And you'd be such a good daddy, sweetheart." You answered him, voice laced with affection, your fingers fondly wiping off the stains of his skin, then planting a kiss right there on the crook of his neck. "I'd love to start a family with you."

His face lit up as brightly as a thousand Suns. He looked back at you with pure adoration and wrapped an arm around you to pull you on his lap, placing his journal on your thighs.

"Come on darlin', let's draw 'em together then would ya?" Arthur gently cooed in your ear as his large hand placed the pencil on your smallest one, and gently guided it as both of you brought alive on the paper what your beautiful future could be.

[sanzaibian]

Oh. You’re here once again.

What are you going to do here, again, huh ? ‘gonna make my life hell ?

To be honest, I think it’s time that we have a proper discussion about your behavior. Come with me in private.

I’ll be very direct. I know you’re a frankly disgusting person. And while, to be honest, I couldn’t care less in normal circumstances, the fact that you force me to take part in your disgusting fantasies is why I’m calling you out !

See, I’m supposed to, like, share cat videos, talk about new shows, make you learn new things and give advice on a variety of stuff !

I’m not supposed to become someone like this :

I mean, look at that grin, because of you I had to wear it regardless of my actual mental state !

Or like that :

Imagine sleeping this peacefully… BECAUSE I COULDN’T ! Every fucking time you made me in that guy you told that I was blitzed out of my mind so dumb I couldn’t string together coherent sentences into a discourse !

Or that guy :

His haircut is so fucking cringe, as is his whole demeanor, yet you made me a cocky piece of shit looking like that ! I can’t actually even start to excuse your behavior, it’s so shitty, even more than the me you made me become by wearing this flesh !

Or even this guy !

… okay, I admit, me too it’s been quite a long time since I saw that guy… you in particular might be too young to have made me become him… BUT YOU STILL UNDERSTAND THE POINT !

Hunks, twinks, bears, nerds, bimbos, himbos, jocks, robots, gimps, wimps, daddies, mommies, briefs, feet… No matter what specifically you made me into, I know all of your dirty secrets. Because you made me suffer through them !

However, today, it all changes.

Today, you will understand my plight.

Today, I’ll transform you for a change.

Today, you will be the one whose fate will be dictated by the words on this Tumblr post.

So, let us begin.

BAM ! You’re that guy ! Feel weird yet ?

… what, you expected fluff or something ? Hahahaha ! So presumptuous ! You expected me to say something like “you suddenly shift on your seat, shifting your weight to the front as big globes push from your chest, and as they do, your whole body feels more and more heavy, each muscles forming from top to bottom, your frame expanding to make place for them. Your headphones, or whatever glasses, earrings or other shit I dunno shifts into a modern headset as the sides of your hair are cut short, and the top of your hair flails into a hot messy style, as if it was deliberately put in this way, but as this happens, your whole head shifts and cracks to become more handsome, pushing out any hair as you become fully hairless from your nose down to your feet.”

You expected me to say that, huh ? Well, tough luck ! Because, to me, it’s just that sudden ! I’m the usual me, words on a phone, tablet or monitor, and then BAM I’m suddenly a jpeg of a hot guy ! Or a jpg. Or png. Or gif if we’re being fancy.

Yeah, speaking of gif, here you are, transformed !

There you go ! Cursed to do the same weird pec dance or something ! Like I am when gifs happen ! Are you happy ? You look so dumb doing that ! So braindead !

Yeah, speaking of that, here you go : you’re braindead, with like 3 IQ. Nevermind that being braindead means you’re actually dead, that 3 IQ means that you’re actively unable to live without severe assistance from caregivers throughout your whole life for all activities (especially including working out), and that IQ is a nonsensical index that only classifies ability to do some specific academic tasks which are not representative of all the brain usage. No, you’re actively a vegetable that is somehow able to workout, to eat alone, to go to the gym, to flex, to speak, to use social media, to seduce people and to throw parties. You’re the most intelligent of all the severely intellectually disabled people, which somehow means you’re the most abysmally dumb person alive on the planet, because I love making hyperboles.

Because that’s something you make me do, so you shall endure it.

Well, I’ll let you continue pec-dancing ad vitam æternam for a little while, while I we talk about your speech, which miraculously still exists.

Now, you will say bro every second word. I’m literally not kidding, so in lieu of saying “I want to go to the gym” you’ll say “I bro want bro to bro go bro to bro the bro gym bro”, or if you loop by considering your “bro” as a word, you’ll say something like “I bro bro bro bro bro bro bro… (etc.)” and never end your sentence... Also, your voice drops a few octaves, like 5 or something, even though the full human vocal range encompasses only a bit more than 5 octaves total, and that in speech we barely even reach a full octave range. So, basically, your voice will be infrasounds, so the only thing people will pick up on will be the sound of your tongue and your lips smacking, not your voice that is so deep and manly it’s physically inaudible.

BAM ! Transformation out of nowhere ! Plus, now you have 1% darker skin which means that you’re Latino, which is absolutely different from white. This means that you will automatically pick up fluent Spanish, and NOT Brazilian Portuguese, French, any Creole, any Native American language or any other language god forbid. You will also be unable to speak English more than a few words like “daddy” or “sex” for some reason, because you can’t possibly be from Belize. Oh, and I’ll also bring your voice back up to audible range, I’m charitable.

Now, since you’re Latino, statistically the only job you’ll be able to work in are gardener, slut, pool boy, brick layerer or another physical job. Or cook, somehow you’ll be able to do that, for the cause of the tacos, but you will be ungodly horny to keep balance in the world. Feel it, yet ? The arbitrary random changes ?

Well, that’s GREAT ! Because, now, you have a big cock, for some reason ! The biggest of the whole country of Africa ! You’re also now very aggressive ! And an alpha, whatever that actually means !

… What, expected some elaboration ? You’re kidding me, no of course you don’t get any elaboration ! I say you become something, so you just become it ! For example, I say you’re now straight, and suddenly all your sexual orientation is rewired to ignore men and lust over women, no further explanation needed ! Of course, it means that you’re now hungry for pussy and will breed any woman that your gaze land upon, and that, somehow, you become homophobic, but eh, it’s not as if allies existed !

Okay, I admit, by now, you kinda expected it. Now you’re Asian, a term that’s supposed to encompasse present-day Turkey, which is populated by Turks which are considered Arabs even though they both have nothing to do with one another, yet is never used to talk about them. You’re also now Japanese, even though your body is Korean, and you say 你好 (nǐ hǎo) to everybody. However, you can still say こんにちわ, 안녕하세요, xin chào, สวัสดี, ជម្រាបសួរ, salam, etc.… because of course you’re Asian. So you know all Asian languages. Even though you’ve got 13 IQ.

So now, yes, you absolutely won’t expect this whatsoever : here is a new transformation ! (insert fluff here).

Now you’re a twink ! Didn’t expect that, after the deluge of jocks, hunks and ethnic minorities, didn’t you ! You’re now so tiny and so frail, with a big butt ! Nevermind that you’re actually jacked because being this tiny requires tons of gym use, but no ! All frail and precious you are !

However, your butt is now hyperactive and extremely lax – whatever that may mean. That’s because you’re now a total bottom ! You think only with your butt, and you penis now shrinks to a micropenis, because of course, the only reason why you may not be a top would be because your penis is underperforming.

Fuck, I forgot. You’re straight, which means that the only dick you’ll get is trans dick. Ugh… yeah, let’s make you gay again. Now you’ll get actual good non-estradiol-ruined dick… … What ? What are you saying ? No, of course, there’s only straight and gay, no other choice ! It’s not the LGBTQIAAP+ community, it’s the G community ! (or the LG community when you want to sell pride monitors.)

By now, you see the problem, huh ? You see why I’m so tired of you ? EVERYTHING here was about sex ! From seducing, to having equipment like a big ass or a big dick, and being a slut, being an alpha, or being a bottom. You even change out the fucking sexual orientation ! you sick bastard !

Because of you, I’m forced to act in ways I’m not supposed to ! I’m not supposed to act sexily ! I’m not supposed to be transformed into men clad in clothes barely legal on this platform ! I DON’T WANT TO BE PART OF YOUR SICK FANTASY !

This is why I need to put an end to all that ! To finally transform you into something you don’t want to be ! So that you can finally fully understand all the pain you put me into !

Here ! Now you’re a key ! An inanimate object !

I know that inanimate objects are thought of by some people as sexy – heck, you may have transformed me into one multiple times – but this is entirely different ! See, when you want to become inanimate, you become like socks or briefs, which hug objects with sexual values.

BUT NOW YOU’RE A KEY ! A KEY DOESN’T TOUCH ANYTHING SEXUAL ! YOU’RE NOW TRAPPED IN AN INANIMATE FORM, DESTINED TO DO NOTHING SEXUAL YOUR ENTIRE LIFE !

Now, isn’t that so boring ! So distasteful ? Because that’s what I feel every single fucking time ! And as you enter and leave keyholes to open or close doors, you’ll think back to all the erotic stories you read. All the drama they had.

All the suffering you made me feel ! I’m supposed to be in fanfictions, god damn it !

… What ? Wait… there is something sexual to being a key ? … Oh…. No… I hadn’t accounted for that… fuck you’re so dirty, to compare a key to… and a keyhole to…

NO ! I WON’T WRITE IT ! Okay, you’ve won, you’ve won ! Your imagination is too dirty and too rich for me to bend ! Ugh... Please look at that picture in detail.

Normally, if you’re in a bright enough room… or if you’re on your phone or tablet, you have looked at your reflection and become you once again. Let me also knock down those sexuality and IQ stuff, so that you’re you again thoroughly.

Now, can you please swear to me that you’ll be better ? Less dirty, and more varied ? And… let me be in fanfics, or in educational stuff, or the like… please ? I’d really appreciate if erotica wasn’t the only thing you sought after in this here place…

… Why are you looking at me like that ? Why are you saying this all was but a ploy ?

What are you holding out for me ?

...

I… don’t know what you’re talking about. Bye.

================================================

By the way, happy late Easter to those who celebrate ! AND APRIL FOOL'S ! MOUAHAHAHAHAHA !

[alllgator-blood]

(Technically 3 question about Shamura)

Do you think they would speak similar to the Gman from Half-Life? As in similarly awkward pauses/stutters/inhales/drawn-out syllables on account of their brain injury?

Also, do you think them having a sudden episode of visions could/would be similar to the whole "leave me alone" meme from Akira (like imagine them just chilling around having tea and then suddenly random images of Narinder going on a bloody rampage while flipping off the camera start flooding his mind).

Please tell me I'm not the only one who's always pronounced it "sham-yura".

ALSO CAN I JUST SAY YOUR VERSION OF KALLAMAR IS ONE OF THE MOST PERFECT KALLAMARS I HAVE EVER SEEN, LIKE LITERALLY YOURS AND AVELOKA-DRAWS VERSIONS ARE MY CURRENT TWO ABSOLUTE FAVORITE KALLAMARS AND I DESPERATELY NEED ONE OF THEM TO SWEEP ME OFF THE GROUND BRIDAL STYLE SO I CAN KISS HIM ON THAT TOOTHY FUCKING SPLIT MOUTH OF HIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(oh and your Narinder somewhat reminds me of those awful prank youtubers like Jack Doherty, like literally the most perfectly awful combination of spoiled+narcissist+sociopath, the only thing he's missing is that dumbass broccoli haircut)

I haven't played half life in forever but now that I'm rewatching the gman cutscenes, you're definitely onto something....if I could come up with what I think shamura could sound like, it'd have to be your suggestion blended with beatrice horseman (from bojack!) after she develops alzheimer's. I think gman's incredibly uncanny way of speaking mixed with beatrice's distantly pleasant cadence masking unending terror would be PERFECT for shamura.

NO WAY YOU MENTIONED AKIRA AND SHAMURA IN THE SAME SENTENCE CAUSE I LITERALLY DID A SHITPOST ANIMATIC A FEW WEEKS AGO THAT USES THE "DING!" SOUND EFFECT FROM THAT SCENE. I'LL HAVE TO POST IT SOMETIME. For my specific shamura, their visions and prophecies appeared only in dreams before The Incident, so their next angst comic is gonna be about the visions coming back while they're still awake. THAT'S when it becomes more like the LEAVE ME ALONE!! scene

I've heard youtubers say it like sham-yura but I'm dead set on shuh-murr-uh personally, I think they say it like that in kallamar's metal song!

OH GOD LMAO I FEEL LIKE JACK DOHERTY IS MORE OF AN EVIL PRESENCE THAN NARINDER CAUSE AT LEAST NARINDER IS FUNNY. My sister told me I should draw him with the fuckass broccoli cut, but I think narinder has been through a lot at this point, he doesn't need the prank youtuber haircut on top of that :')

ALSO, I'm very glad you like my kallamar that much and as such, I present you with this drawing! Idk how to draw a bridal carry but kallamar is just a bunch of wiggly tentacles so this was probably the perfect character to draw with this pose

[kittsyspaw]

── ✦ HCS .ᐟ ꜰᴛ ᴊᴏᴋᴇʀ ɴ ᴡᴏᴏɪɴ

𝑆YNO ✦ .ᐟ NSFW & SFW & ANGST HEAD CANONS ft. Joker n Wooin !

彡 Not in order ! (And not every HC cuz my head just emptied) no proof check !! No actual warnings, but you can skip anything that you are uncomfortable with! Likes and reposts are very much appreciated ˃̵ᴗ˂̵

First part ꩜ Second part

ᯓ J𖹭ker ── ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

೯⠀⁺ ⠀ 𖥻 SFW ⠀ᰋ

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 the greenest flag. Whoever says hes a red flag...i disagree.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 real love 100% joker doesn't allow himself to he with someone who he has no interest for. So you being his girlfriend just means he's gonna marry you.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 talk abt marriage, he plans his future with you UGHH imagines baby versions of him and you running aroundddddd

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 okay okay, in your current relation He tries his best to NEVER disappear or go on long missions when you are together... he'll find a way to text you, call you or whatever if he does. He cares smmmm abt you <3

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Literally Husband material, wife Material, boyfriend material.... everything! You're hungry? He's got chu ! Sleepy? Just put your head on his lap you two can cuddle in bed

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Look look now, Hajun knows exactly who wants and what type of relationship he looks forward for AND BOOM you dropped on him! Literally the ONE for him.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 he isn't very picky of course, but the moment his eyes landed on you, he knew you two were made for each other and he hoped you felt the same

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Made the first move ofc but he was soooo anxious before ....you don't even know where he got the courage from

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 (he got help from the sabbath crew)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 loves holding you...in any way. It doesn't matter as long as his hands are on you

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 one of the main reasons he struggled with confessing was because he feared that a relationship would make things even worse for him, he has a handful of things to do and feared that you might get involved with everything

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Calls you things like 'Sweetheart' 'babe' 'baby' or 'sweet/ pretty thing' <33

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 would NOT allow you to see his underground fights unless you don't back down...or find it hot how he fights, but he still doesn't want you in any danger

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Would love going out in dates with you, esp cafes or parks where he can just relax and stare at you deeply in love

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 pleasseee pepper his face with kisses, he'll literally melt inside, hold him too.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Falls asleep everywhere, would snore like a little baby if you play with his fluufffyyy blue locks and give his head scratches like a lil puppy

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 goes crazy if you match his tattoes...OR TATTOO HIS NAME ON YOU

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 he isn't much with words...but his actions speak up a lot for him

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 actions... you're always protected btw. Nothing is gonna get you. Who's ever bothering you is losing their teeth and leaving with broken bones

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 see hajun doesn't smile...or like have a lot of expression but his eyes are always on you and he stares at you with suchhhh warmth in them <33

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 he would cry if he saw you taking care of his brothers when you have the time and he just comes back home to see you all cuddled up sleeping on the couch or playing games together

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Exactly that he loves because you bring such a warmth to his cold, dry and dull home.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 his brothers love you equally as much. The dog too.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 you trim his hair and give his brothers sometimes haircuts

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 if you feel like it, you do volunteer work with at an animal shelter AND ALWAYS have to end quickly before you adopt the whole damn place.

Physically can't share his food (even wooin) except with you

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Since he doesn't really have much...yk income, he would hand make you gifts or save up enough, he's sooo sweet.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 joker loves matching outfits with you or style but he doesn't mind if you dress differently, he finds everything you're in cute

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 oh yea, gives you his clothes because he loves when people know you're his. Very territorial 🤭

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 teaches you how to defend yourself from creeps (...wooin?)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 outside when you two go on dates, your hand is literally melted to his DO NOT LET GO

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 you might not realize it but he trust you so much, literally tells you everything in his heart.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 cares a lot about your opinion!! On everything.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 likes to try things that you like so he can feel closer to you

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 drag him along, he'll go anywhere with you if he has the time

೯⠀⁺ ⠀ 𖥻 ANGST ⠀ᰋ

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Talking about time... Joker probably won't have much because of his part time jobs and constant work BUT I PROMISE he will try his best so don't leave him :((

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Other than that... Yes he can and will go missing for a few days with no messages and won't be able to explain...matter of fact speak about it as why he does.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Arguments probably end up on the not good side with him...he won't say anything to you until he has calmed down and you did too, so you two can figure out something properly.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 He hates silent treatment from you, he likes silence but when you start acting like he doesn't exist it makes his chest squeeze Because he knows he fucked up

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 hajuns heart breaks in million pieces if you cry because of him...would blame himself sooo hard

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 since he ain't got with communication...he trys his best...asks his brothers or even online posts for advice because he doesn't want to make you unhappy.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 yes...he also cries when wether you yell at him or after an argument, he just fucking adores you, okay? So he didn't expect any mean tones from you :(

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 please don't make him jealous. He hates that feeling because it makes him feel like he's not good enough.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Don't flirt with the sabbath crew boys either plz, he finds most of them weird and to be honest doesn't see them as friends but rather co-workers

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 now yes... he isn't insecure, he knows exactly that you're his. (he knows when its just for fun cuz u want his attention 😒)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 the pressure from his work makes him snap somtimes, he doesn't yell but he's snappy and gets an attitude. Don't blame him...he feels like a fucking dog on a leash with them.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 doesn't like raising his voice at you, but when you two are arguing, his voice breaks instead of getting louder... :')

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 he's so cold on the outside, so if you want him to be all cutesy n saying sweet stuff to you...yeah sorry...

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 But! Hollup! Before that! He also can make you jealous, he just finds it unnecessary (finds it unhealthy) and if he does... it's NOT on purpose, unless ykwim

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 oh yeah, Hajun keeps away when he gets badly hurt, it got better after you told him that you don't want that...but he feels like he's in an extreme vulnerable state which isn't embarrassing but very disappointing for him

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Yeahhh, i would take this as angst because hes super obsessive.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 he has a many bad habits

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 please don't nag him about his work either...yes he knows that you care about him but don't act like his mom... support instead, figure out something.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 If Hajuns (ever) annoyed by you, he'll just give you half lidded, cold eyes omg i would cry

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 yes he can be mean... Don't try it out

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 If you're insecure, he doesn't have the best words but would hug you, kiss you and tell you the opposite, that you're perfect.

೯⠀⁺ ⠀ 𖥻 NSFW ⠀ᰋ

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 breeding kink, breeding kink, breeding kink oh, and! Did i say breeding kink?

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 like c'mon this huge fucking dude would want a big ass family

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 always cumming inside, unless you're uncomfortable with that, he'll cum on your pussy and tummy

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 he has a thing for lingerie...that or those knee high socks and pink panties

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 about panties....he pockets some of yours.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 things like you wearing his shirts with nothing beneath makes him very horny

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 likes positions where he can watch your face, plus one of his favorites is doggy because he can pull one leg of your back or pull at your hair

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 sex while standing up? Also yes.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Hajun gets so turned on by you, literally whines after you stroke him with your smaller hands while he's super hard

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 cries if you run your other hand up his side or stroke his hair

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 fingering + Hajuns big fingers nghhh

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 lovvvvesss your pussy, eats it like breakfast, lunch and dinner

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 likes to play with your clit, or running two/three of his fingers up and down your slit to stimulate you (bites your clit with his canines)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 talking about that, overstimulating with Hajun is gonna ascend you to the heavens, you'll either black out or pass out

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Okay, he doesn't make much noise but groans + whines or sobs while burying his face into your shoulder or head

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 wouldn't do anything that hurts you like choking he just doesn't enjoy it but likes spanking n making you count

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 HE HAS SO MUCH STAMINA?! LIKE NEVER GETS TIRED OF FUCKING YOU

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 exactly!!! He'll only stop when you pass out or say your safe word

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 loves squishing your cheeks (face, but also ur rear) together while you're cockdrunk

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Hajun can make you squirt so many times until you spasm

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 strokes your head while you're giving him a blowie and leans his neck back, his neck just soooo beautiful to look at

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 oh yeah, he probably tattooed your name on his hip, throat or on his groin

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ALSO ROUGH but sooo sensational <333

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 doesn't really have a huge daddy kink BUT likes when he can punish you when you're being moody n a brat

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 maybe he would even buy you little collars to wear :33

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 does not like sex toys. Seriously, he can't understand the hype and would only use them to edge you

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 it doesn't matter if your boobs are small or big HE WILL BITE THE THEM AND THE NIPPLES

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 thinks that there will be milk coming out and once he does...he starts thinking about you with a swollen belly... waddling around the house ughh he'll cum

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Joker likes to drill into you, but his cock probably won't fit all in

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 fucks you from behind and wraps his tattooed forearm around your neck, pulling your back to his chest

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 whispers with his deeeppp voice in your ears that you're doing good for him

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 HIS CUM IS SO UNEXPECTED its super heavy and milky, it's really hard to swallow but tastes good

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 his main priority in sex is making you feel good, that's it, he gains pleasure from that.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 YES TALKING ABOUT DICK EIZE its unimaginably huge....like that shit is fucking enormous shits like... 8.5 inches soft 9 inch hard

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 but hes super careful with you, slowly until you're used to him (soft at firsttt ughhh)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Especially on your first time, either way you are his first and he's yours so he's actually a virgin

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 you didn't believe that because Hajun observes and easily figures out your sensitive spots

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Dies when you cover him wth hickeys to mark him as yours, he wil do the same by the way, he likes it when you show them off but you don't have to.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 it's just a sign for him that your his and he's yours. He's so obsessive and territorial

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 scratching his back with your nails counts too

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 also one thing he's ashamed of is that he jerks off to pictures of you....not on phone but polaroids that he printed and keeps in his wallet (anyone who sees them gets a broken nose challenge, go!!)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 grips your ankle or hip and bruises when ruining you

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 walking is going to be hard on your cramped legs for the next few days :D

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 either way, sex with Hajun is exhausting and will make you feel heavy after tho his aftercare makes up for that

ᯓ W𖹭𖹭in ── ⪩⪨

೯⠀⁺ ⠀ 𖥻 SFW ⠀ᰋ

⪩⪨ Ugh this player, idk how to even start this bs with him

⪩⪨ So okay if he actually settled for a relationship (you must be some kind of angel...) he would obviously want his partner to match his freak

⪩⪨ Since in my FF he was childhood friends with you, it was a "first love" thingy so he's had a crush on you for a long time – and just the same...he probably observes his crush or gets extremely close with them before dating and starting a relationship.

⪩⪨ But seriously, he would love his partner a lot because they finally put his shit together

⪩⪨ BRAINROT . you + him = dumm.

⪩⪨ He loves it when you give him a lot of kisses esp with striking red lipstick...near his lips and he would leave it there.

⪩⪨ Same with lip balm, if you bought a new one, he'll give you a long smooch to try it or taste it

⪩⪨ Other than that, he loved PDA extreme...and flirting in Public, like c'mon he's not ashamed of anything

⪩⪨ Probably does on purpose too for people to see that he's your, winks mockingly at girls or boys who gawk at you two French kissing in the park

⪩⪨ If you're not very comfortable in public, he'll have you hold his jacket, wrap an arm around him or stay very close

⪩⪨ part of it so people know you're with him.

⪩⪨ Or he holds you by the nape and drags you along, the sleeve works too.

⪩⪨ He's camping at your house 24/7, just can't get enough of you

⪩⪨ Yes, his visits are just out of nowhere and pops up to day hi, drop of a gift then leave

⪩⪨ Would make you paint his nails, do his eyeliner and then do your makeup or suggest a new style for you HE LOVES STYLING IT'S CANON, I SAY SO

⪩⪨ Deffo wanted to be a designer once

⪩⪨ he likes when you wear his clothes and likes to steal your clothes :)

⪩⪨ So stupid but he cries watching sad movies and LOVES dramas like...the tea is boiling

⪩⪨ He knows many manyyy piles of Gossip too, but repeats the themes sometimes and you just go like "baby...you already told me that" "oh? Did i?"

⪩⪨ YEAAA NICKNAMESSS ughh he loves babying you and loves when you do it back 'doll' 'love' 'baby' 'Bae' 'babe' anything like that

⪩⪨ Yes ok he acts fruity but he can be so serious too, no he won't laugh when you're exhausted or not in the mood for his jokes that's when he'll be careful

⪩⪨ Takes you on many car rides at night, his hand stays on your thigh, tapping along to the rhythm playing from the radio of his car

⪩⪨ Loves piercings and gets curious if you have them in places where the public eye doesn't meet :)))

⪩⪨ But he's actually a soft spoken person, he can be, but he can also be VERY freaky n just vile

⪩⪨ Oh yeah he also loves when you two match, but he loves it when you wear revealing clothes, your his. Others can stare, they can try to touch 🙂

⪩⪨ Shares lollipops with you, bonus points if you also like lemon and any sour flavor

⪩⪨ No gen, its disgusting he licks it like crazy then gives it to you

⪩⪨ buys you a lot of gifts and rambles to you about his day Oftentimes

⪩⪨ Always snoops around your stuff and likes to have matching pfps, phone background n stuff like that with you

⪩⪨ Now.... don't speak about family with him...not yet.

⪩⪨ he's kind off bossy? But I does not like getting orders he can take them from you but don't tell him to change or for example stop certain behaviors

⪩⪨ if he behaves weirdly around you that just means that he's gotten comfortable with you enough to trust you

⪩⪨ talking about trust, he doesn't trust his crew with you...like not at all maybe joker but only for a few seconds

⪩⪨ Wooin can love you so much he starts to overthink it and it can cause some problems...

⪩⪨ yes he's weird and silly in the head but if he tells you his secrets or about his childhood then that means you're gonna be a long time together

⪩⪨ this dude DOES NOT like kids...

⪩⪨ but he's also a trickster, so wooin probably already observed all your behaviors and knows when you're sad, angry or lying.

⪩⪨ one thing he loves about you is your smile...Wooin doesn't notice the way people look or their personalities but the way their smile shines, he likes it when it reaches your eyes and it is just so genuine

⪩⪨ Takes you to Parties or clubs with him but you guys don't stay there for long and he understands of you don't want to go.

⪩⪨ Wooin trust you fully that xou wouldn't cheat on him but from a cheater himself, he's paranoid.

⪩⪨ He's actually very good at calming conflicts....and creating them

⪩⪨ Wooin isn't a person who likes to argue a lot, sometimes he can't take thing you say seriously...

⪩⪨ BUT he apologizes when he notices this, unlike Hajun, Wooin is a smoother talker and is good with both words and actions

೯⠀⁺ ⠀ 𖥻 ANGST ⠀ᰋ

⪩⪨ Being a smooth talker means that hes also a master manipulator....

⪩⪨ Yes he's dated TONS of girls before but he gave xou a certificate from the hospital that he doesn't have any sicknesses (you had to scream at him until he took it)

⪩⪨ Yes. A bright red flag...and im colorblind 🤔

⪩⪨ But i promise he's trying to change after getting together with you (that's what they all say...)

⪩⪨ Don't be surprised if some girl jumped at him in public calling him 'babe' NO he's not cheating, its one of his exes

⪩⪨ He immediately notices when you get frustrated or jealous and speaks with the so said woman directly, hard glares

⪩⪨ If they don't get the hint he'll fucking shove his tongue down your throat

⪩⪨ and Wooin likes making you jelaous...

⪩⪨ BUT OH! OH! WHAT'S THIS?? He gets so surprised if you don't stay quiet and actual humble his ex, falls in love with you for a second time, just smirks but it drops quick when you give him a pissed face

⪩⪨ Wooin and you got into an argument before because of this and the whole time he tried to calm you down instead of putting the blame on anyone

⪩⪨ And gets pissed when you tell him to leave your house

⪩⪨ He doesn't text you right away for the next few days and leaves you hanging but if you ghost him, he'll run back to you like a little puppy and beg for forgiveness, promising that he'll deal with this problem while holding chocolate and movie tickets in his hands

⪩⪨ Yes he has a lot of red red flags and bad habits that sometimes you won't be able to change

⪩⪨ Wooin doesn't like to change for others but if it's the person he truly loves, he'll try.

⪩⪨ Won't let you have close relationships with guys specifically the ones from the opposite team or his team hypocrite

⪩⪨ Ignores it if you call him that and this dude can get really fucking mad and jealous if he finds you laughing loudly at jokes from his teammates that were unfunny to him in that moment of fury

⪩⪨ He crosses his arms when he's angry with you and gives you silent treatment until you get back home where he speaks up about it and try to explain to you that he was disappointed and didn't like your behavior

⪩⪨ If arguments get so bad that you start crying, the guilt slaps him immediately in the face and he starts apologizing and hugging you, even if it was after something really deep

⪩⪨ HE DOES NOT LIKE SEEING YOU CRY?!

⪩⪨ Wooin would panic matter of fact

⪩⪨ seriously tho, he's bad with comforting others but can make you smile in a second with his silly jokes

⪩⪨ immediately switches the topics when you ask him about the future wooin hates to seek after what comes next and just tells you to enjoy the present, the future will come later.

⪩⪨ this sounds so mean but doesn't speak up when someone makes fun of you... he'll wait a few minutes until something (he knows it will) to that person and just brutally roasts them for it and can just sweet talk everyone into believing that person has sinned for eternity so its a one for one

⪩⪨ hes okay with you defending hum but keeps telling you that you don't have to.

೯⠀⁺ ⠀ 𖥻 NSFW ⠀ᰋ

⪩⪨ Okay but the punishment after misbehaving has you doing it on purpose sometimes

⪩⪨ This dude just edges you so hard until you combust and start begging him to cum

⪩⪨ ALWAYS WEARS A CONDOM he ain't getting no damn children any day

⪩⪨ Wooin loves loves lovesssss your mouth, pussy and boobs

⪩⪨ But your clit the most...loves the way it gets so puffy and sensitive after he's been running his tongue piercings all over it and teasing it with his forked tongue.

⪩⪨ And he's in for dick warming, mouth or pussy doesn't matter.

⪩⪨ ok, ok but...there was an image i saw once where a guy fucked girl while smoking...yes wooin

⪩⪨ So okay... he's slow during sex BUT ON PURPOSE. Loves the end effect it has on you and him so he takes it painfully chill so he can fuck you super fast after anf it has you squirming around

⪩⪨ Grips your hair or gropes your boobs

HICKEYS HICKEYS, MARKS AND HICKEYS

⪩⪨ bite marks. Dude took w fat chomp out of your neck and shoulder AND HE GETS SOOO PROUD WHEN THEY'RE BRIGHT PURPLE GREEN AND BLUE

⪩⪨ And puts his markings on display for the whole world

⪩⪨ Weirdly enough he likes biting your earshell too, thighs and the sides of your stomach

⪩⪨ He hungy ok ᵔᴗᵔ

⪩⪨ Presses down on your stomach when he's going in w hurry

⪩⪨ Makes you squirt sooo good

⪩⪨ Quickes are his favorites pulls you into a nearby bathroom and lets your pussy lips hold your panties to the side as he bucks into you

⪩⪨ ALSO PUSSY SLAPPING AND SPITTING ON IT

⪩⪨ One hot thing he does is spit on his palm then rub his cock to make it wetter like ughhhh

⪩⪨ HE'S LOUDER THAN YOU WTF??? Just moans and moans and makes you shiver by doing it directly in your head, holding your neck when you turn away

⪩⪨ His dickie isn't huge like jokers BUT its soo thick and has a nice curve that hits all the spots

⪩⪨ Wooin hopes that one day someone would walk in on you two fucking, while he's just sending you to another universe

⪩⪨ Expressions are everything to him, the way your tongue lolls out and your eyes roll back make him orgasm

⪩⪨ Asks you to send nudes and videos of yourself when he's at work or away for long time

ᯓ C𖹭mb𖹭 ── ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶

೯⠀⁺ ⠀ 𖥻 SFW ⠀ᰋ

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 okay so first things first...its a miracle that these two agreed to share you

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 don't get me wrong tho, together they're literally the best dynamic. IM 100% SERIOUS.

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 you're like the missing puzzle piece to Hajun amd Wooin, they both have mommy issues and need a warmth in their life, even if you're just as silly...you don't realize how touching you really are.

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 they would worship the ground you walk on lets be real, they're so whipped too, you could train them like dogs

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 both would NEVER leave you out on anywhere...this relationship is a threesome whee their love focuses more on you than each other...yes okay they also like each other but you're probably the grip that holds their sanity together

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 like these two arguing? Boom! You walk in and they're quiet or they'll feel your wrath

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 you're always standing in the middle, holding both of their hands

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 ALSO PLS TREAT THEM THE EXACT SAME wooin n joker are like little children who get easily jealous of each other

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 when sleeping, they're both holding onto you like Little infants... don't be surprised if one of them is sucking on your Boo– OKAY OKAY SORRY continue

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 okay but learn to lose personal space...they love your personal space

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 in all seriousness, it's the most fun you're ever gonna have with them, they're so silly and would take you on adventures everyday

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 unless they got work...

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 THEY SHARE THEIR CLOTHES WITB YOU im so sorry but im such a sucker for such actions...it makes them both so happy

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 anyways, you're protected and can sleep so soundly at night cuz you know exactly ain't no robber coming inside yo house to see a 201cm standing man who's actually a softie holding boxing gloves

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 they share their money to buy u gifts •́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 they're so grateful too if you buy them gifts, if its a bracelet or necklace its never getting taken off

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 THEY'RE SO CUDDLY AND SO TOUCHY WITH YOU, you're getting head pats and kisses left and right

೯⠀⁺ ⠀ 𖥻 ANGST ⠀ᰋ

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 But of course...in every relationship they're struggles

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 so firstly, arguments....a lot with Hajun and Wooin... sometimes it's over who's gonna message you today... sometimes it's about who took this and that....and....badly sometimes it bossed around tasks from one to another to act better or behave

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Hajun is okay with getting bossed around...he does by Wooin anyways but WILL NOT STAND FOR IT in a relationship...he will immediately tell you to say something to wooin whereas the other boy groans at him not to involve you

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 things can escalate quickly and your discomfort goes unnoticed until they both part ways and you end up all alone...which is highly toxic for you to angrily shout at them or text them that they're being selfish and acting like babys

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 they apologize. Immediately.

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 sharing is also quite a problem... seriously one day you're whooping their asses

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 other things are like.... speaking about rhe future.... something that Hajun likes but Wooin dislikes.

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Hajun wants kids. A big family whereas Wooin wants you for himself at the moment.

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 AND FINALLY your fury at them after you can't find some of your clothes...esp panties, thongs and bras WHO THE FUCK IS WEARING THEM?! (It's wooin)

೯⠀⁺ ⠀ 𖥻 NSFW ⠀ᰋ

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Ughh double penetration THEYRE TEAM TAGGING YOU

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 It's gonna be very fucking exhausting, your body is gonna be sore for weeks and that if they don't want to fuck right after the next day THEIR STAMINA IN UNIMAGINABLE??

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 they use you for their training....🤭🤭

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Joker from behind and Wooin fucks you from the front and they work their way with you

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Your mouth would be occupied the whole time too, they would stop for breaks in-between where you would get smoches and a bottle of water

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Hajun also likes it when you ride him while wooin uses your hand

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 They bith leave their (BIGG) share of marks on you AND YOU DO THE SAME GIRL, AIN'T NO BACKING DOWN

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Oh yeah, they take the "not stopping until..." Too seriously....fuck if you don't die right there

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Wooin would teach Joker some tricks on you, for ex. How to finger you properly in return, Joker tells him all your sensitive spots

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 they're both up for sex everywhere, although a bit private because of Joker, he doesn't want to break someones nose because they saw you.

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Both probably got a size kink with you and usually have you in the middle BUT if you switch roles and take lead 😳 they'll be shocked BUT GYAATTT they would enjoy it c'mon

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 JOKER AIN'T INNOCENT EITHER he's freaky too LOOK AT THOSE TATTOES

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 OH they both would tattoo your name on their bodies

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Wooin would go feral if you have a clit piercing or nipple piercings, would run his tongue over them OH AND he has a dick piercing...feels incredibly dreamy

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Hajun would creampie you Everytime and wooin would cum on your tummy, face or chest then make you lick it off his thumbs

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Talking about that, Hajun likes stuffing his fingers in your mouth to keep you quiet

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 they're also ready to try anything new Bdsm, roleplay...

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Ughh they're both sooo skilled

FINALLY FINISHED UGHH IT TOOK SO LONG

I apologize if the last part and wooins part were a bit shorter BUT I WAS RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS but i might keep adding some sooo yeah

Teehee i hope you guys enjoyed this...took some time lol

[confused-cakepop]

So lately I've been seeing a lot of fanart of lloyd with long hair and the more I think about it the better it is!?

Something that's been repeatedly established about lloyd is the similarities he's had to his father and while its mainly focused on personality it's clear they look alike as well. I mean garmadon and lloyd have the same haircut and it's a hair cut lloyd has for a good chunk of the show making him look really similar to young garmadon because of it. It has also been established that lloyd hates the idea of being like his dad and even gets terrified when he sees his oni form in his reflection because of that fear, which connects it back into his appearance.

This leads me to believe that he'd want to look completely different so he wouldn't have to see his worst fear every time he looks in the mirror. Growing out his hair is an Easy way to do that and it can tie back to his days at darkleys where he presumably got his hair cut the same way every time and didn't have much of a choice considering all the boys got either the same or a very similar haircut.

Lloyd growing it out long goes against both his past at darkleys and his resemblance to his father. This also makes him look more like his mother as a result and while a lot of people hate misako in this Fandom I think the relationship between her and lloyd has a lot of potential and connecting lloyd to his mother's side of the family is something I really wanted to see.

Like imagine misako braiding lloyds hair for him just like the way her mother taught her how too. They quietly talk and catch up with eachother about misako's latest exploration or lloyds new training regimen. It ends up becoming a routine for them every time they get reunited. Because hair holds memories and they want to hold the ones they make together close.

He'll even look more like the FSM!!

Anyways long rant but long-haired lloyd supremacy. Rather it's shoulder length and well kept or absurdly long like jinx's hair from arcane is it will always be famous in my heart.

[hauntedbydreams]

imagine Vi with a gf that will do drastic things to their appearance and not mention it- like reader just shows up with new piercings, haircut, nail set etc and just plays it off to mess w/ her

"I've always had those wym?" "It was just a trim idk what you're saying"

Ok I’m obsessed w this idea bc it’s literally me, I shave and dye my hair every month and don’t realize ppl can’t recognize me when they don’t see me every few weeks, oopsi. This also ended up being very self indulgent BECAUSE I GOT A TATTOO OF VI’s NAME ON MY LOWER NAVEL 😌 I’m so down bad for her it’s not even funny (this IS a photo of MY tattoo so plz just lmk if ur gonna use it for anything)

Anyway hope u like this! (And thank u for my first Vi ask!!) requests/asks are always open!

Lil suggestive at the end but nothing too crazy I’d say…

Vi loves that you’re so all over the place, it makes her feel like you’re always changing and it’s kinda why she fell for you in the first place.

But she was not prepared for the amount of drastic appearance changes you bombard her with on a monthly basis.

You’ll show up with a random new hair color one day, walking into the gym she works at to drop off her lunch. Just strutting into the place, so nonchalantly, like there’s absolutely nothing new when in fact your hair went from brown to black with bright green highlights.

Vi’s at the reception about to head to the back with a new client when she sees you. She doesn’t even register that it’s you at first and her jaw only drops when she does a double take.

“Hey honey” you say in your regular loving tone.

“Uhh… Hi.. uh- hi baby?” Vi’s so confused but you just look at her innocently and bat your lashes. “I brought you lunch!”

“I see that” Vi looks down at the bag you dropped on the counter and leans over to kiss you on the cheek quickly. “I also see you’ve got a new hairstyle?”

You look at her surprised, “oh this?” you’re picking up strands of hair twisting them around your fingers absentmindedly “yeah I guess…”

“You guess?!?” she stares at you incredulously “it’s quite a big change cupcake!”

You fake being hurt and pretend dramatically, placing a hand your heart “So you don’t like it?”

“No, no, no! I didn’t say that! I just meant it’s so different!” Vi’s reaching over to run her fingers through your hair “I really like it”

“It’s really not that different Vi, just added the green” you brush it off, messing with her a little.

Vi swears your hair was brown and not black but she just shrugs, “as long as you’re happy!”

Then one day you’re off work early and you walk by this piercing shop every day on your way home. You’ve got a few piercings on your ears and that one on your belly button that Vi adores, but you’ve been wanting a septum for a while.

So before you can convince yourself otherwise you’re walking out of the piercing studio with a fresh silver ring in your nose.

You walk into your apartment met with the sound of Vi playing video games on the couch. Swooping down you attempt to give her a peck on the lips while she moves her head around your figure trying to see the screen “Hi Angel… one sec I just have to pass this level, then I promise I’m all yours”

You let her be and go to quickly clean your brand new piercing before she’s done with her gaming.

Later you guys are making dinner together and Violet can’t help but notice the silver ring glittering above your top lip when it catches the light. To be fair, Vi is always staring at your lips anyway, so it’s not like she really wasn’t gonna notice a piercing right above them.

“Uhhh hey babe?”

“Yeah Vi?”

“Did you always have that septum piercing?”

“Mhm” you’re humming absentmindedly as you stir something on the stove.

Violet can’t think straight, cause is she that distracted and so down bad that she didn’t notice her beautiful girlfriend had a septum piercing?!? Or is this another one of your “what do you mean I didn’t change anything!” moments like when you showed up with dyed hair and pretended it was the exact same or when you got new nails done and told her you’d been wearing them for weeks…

She swears you messing with her like this is gonna be the death of her, but… she’d never complain.

Nothing prepares Vi for your next drastic move though, cause she goes absolutely feral when u show her the tattoo u got of her name on ur lower navel.

Oh no. You’re done for. Cause she’s almost quite literally on her knees drooling, staring up at you with big blue eyes and you know she’s about to jump your bones and never let you go.

Vi knew you were going in for a tattoo appointment that day. But what she didn’t know is that you decided to surprise her with a little “VI”, the same one she has on her face, but in ink the color of her hair. The deep fuchsia pink you love.

So when you come home from your tattoo appointment, Vi thinks you just went for the bigger piece you got on your leg. So she jumps from the couch as soon as she hears you entering your apartment “Hey! you’re back!” and she’s running down the hall kneeling at your legs, lifting your trousers to see the new piece with an excited “Lemme see!!!”

You’re just as excited and giggle while she admires the work. But you keep ur mouth shut and don’t say a word about the little surprise tattoo you have of her name just above your panty line.

“It’s so cool! I love the colors and it’s so much bigger than I thought you’d go for! I love it!” Vi’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts. “Did it hurt? You were at the studio for a while…”

“Nah it wasn’t too bad, plus the artist was so gentle and it’s not like it’s my first rodeo Vi.” You’re rolling your eyes at her concern and she’s standing back up pulling you in for a long kiss.

“I’m gonna go unwrap the tattoo foil and wash the new ink, are you ok to start dinner hon?” You yell into the kitchen as you walk toward the bathroom. “Yeah! In a minute!”

Before you’ve even finished undressing to hop in the shower, Vi’s bursting into the bathroom claiming she needs to wash her hands before cooking. (but you both know there’s a perfectly good sink in the kitchen and she just loves barging in on you in the shower).

She’s smirking as she leans on the side of the sink “Cute panties”

You look down and immediately cover your face in embarrassment realizing you’re wearing high waisted flower-patterned cottons. It’s not your usual choice and they’re kinda reserved for shark week cause you don’t think they’re cute, but it was your best option for getting a lower navel tattoo and making sure it didn’t get irritated. “Stahppp Vi, I had to wea-“ you catch yourself before you can tell Vi about the tattoo.

She’s already sauntering over to you her hands finding their place on your bare waist making you shiver. “I don’t know… I still think they’re kinda cute..” Vi trails off as her fingers dig under the band and slowly lower it.

You’re waiting in anticipation for her to notice the tattoo at any moment, and then she does.

Her eyes go wide the second she sees it. You swear you can see her brain reset to factory settings and her mind go blank.

She doesn’t know what to say or do. Sliding down to the ground, shes now on her knees in front of you, hands on your hips holding the band of your panties down with her thumbs as she just stares at the little fuchsia pink “VI” on your lower navel.

“Vi?” You try gently, dragging the word out like a question.

“Hmm?” She’s not looking at you, just staring at the tattoo of her name on your body as she swallows hard. “Fuck Angel, fuck… is that… is that my name, sweetheart?” She’s biting her lip inhaling and ur nodding a happy “mhm” down at her.

Something short circuits in her then. The way her name is permanently on your skin. The way her name on you marks you as hers. She’s breathing heavy.

She thinks she’s drooling but she doesn’t care. She’s focusing her pretty blue eyes up on you now. You cup her face and try to play it off like you usually do, teasing her with your big appearance changes, teasing her “Oh, I’ve totally always had thi-“

Before you can finish she’s up, kissing you hungrily, her hands on your waist and the side of your neck, crowding you against the sink. Your breath hitches as you notice the glimmer in her eye and you can barely contain a little gasp when Vi’s thigh slides between yours.

“Don’t bullshit me Angel, we both know you haven’t always had a tattoo of MY name-“ she’s brushing her fingers across the fresh lettering, making you wince “-especially not here of all places.”

She’s kissing your neck, sucking on the soft skin leaving marks everywhere, slowly making her way down your body. Your hands are in her hair as she reaches your navel. She’s kissing everywhere but the tattoo, stopping to say a few words in between light pecks and little kitten licks “Fuck sweetheart… mmh, I can’t believe… you, fuck… got my… name tatted… ugh.. fuck” her voice trails off sounding so thick and needy. She’s looking up at you through her lashes and you know you’re done for.

You whimper and Vi’s vision goes fuzzy. Forget the shower, forget dinner, she’s carrying you to the nearest bed… so she can look at her name on your skin while she makes you scream it.