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bringbackthebastard · 3 years ago

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Bring Back the Bastard Daily Prompts

Hello, folks! I'm posting these two weeks before we begin our fest, on September 1st, to give folks some inspiration on what to write each day as we celebrate Severus Snape's pettiest, most dastardly moments. I specifically picked out moments Snaters always harp on, that Snapedom personally enjoys--from any moment with Trevor to bitching at Lupin at Sirius, to the moments that Lily turns away and Dumbledore's face flashes with disgust--sure, he's a bastard, but he's our bastard, and that's what we like about him. You don't want him? Good. We'll keep him. Here are 30 scene prompts for 30 days--it's a long list, pulled chronologically from all seven books, but I found that it reminded me of everything I love about this character. The moments where he's called deranged, the moments where he slips into all-caps, the ugliest moments of the soul. Hope yall enjoy. Excited to kick off the fest starting September 1st, and absolutely excited to see what Snapedom will do. Let's Bring Back the Bastard! The prompts are below the readmore.

Day 1: The Scar Professor Quirrell, in his absurd turban, was talking to a teacheer with greasy black hair, a hooked nose, and sallow skin. It happened very suddenly. The hook-nosed teacher looked past Quirrell's turban straight into Harry's eyes--and a sharp, hot pain shot across the scar on Harry's forehead. "Ouch!" Harry clapped a hand to his head. "What is it?" asked Percy. "N-nothing." The pain had gone as quickly as it had come. Harder to shake off was the feeling Harry had gotten from the teacher's look--a felling that he didn't like Harry at all. "Who's that teacher talking to Professor Quirrell?" he asked Percy. "Oh, you know Quirrell already, do you? No wonder he's looking so nervous, that's Professor Snape. He teaches Potions, but he doesn't want to--everyone knows he's after Quirrell's job. Knows an awful lot about the Dark Arts, Snape."

Day 2: Bad Impressions Snape, like Flitwick, started the class by taking the roll call, and like Flitwick, he paused at Harry's name. "Ah, yes," he said softly. "Harry Potter. Our new--celebrity."

Day 3: Potions Class "Potter!" said Snape suddenly "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" Powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of what? Harry glanced at Ron, who looked as stumped as he was; Hermione's hand shot into the air. "I don't know, sir," said Harry. Snape's lips curled into a sneer. "Tut, tut--fame clearly isn't everything."

Day 4: A Horrible Sight Snape and Filch were inside, alone. Snape was holding his robes above his knees. One of his legs was bloody and mangled. Filch was handing Snape bandages. "Blasted thing," Snape was saying. "How are you supposed to keep your eyes on all three heads at once?" Harry tried to shut the door quietly, but-- "POTTER!" Snape's face was twisted with fury as he dropped his robes quickly to hide his leg. Harry gulped. "I just wondered if I could have my book back." "GET OUT! OUT!"

Day 5: Maybe He's Ill "Hang on..." Harry muttered to Ron. "There's an empty chair at the staff table...Where's Snape?" Professor Severus Snape was Harry's least favorite teacher. Harry also happened to be Snape's least favorite student. Cruel, sarcastic, and disliked by everybody except the students from his own House (Slytherin), Snape taught Potions. "Maybe he's ill!" said Ron hopefully. "Maybe he's left," said Harry, "because he missed out on the Defense Against the Dark Arts job again!" "Or he might have been sacked!" said Ron enthusiastically. "I mean, everyone hates him--" "Or maybe," said a very cold voice right behind them, "he's waiting to hear why you two didn't arrive on the school train."

Day 6: Slytherin Takes the Field "But I booked the field!" said Wood, positively spitting with rage. "But I booked it!" "Ah," said Flint. "But I've got a specially signed note here from Professor Snape. 'I, Professor S. Snape, give the Slytherin team permission to practice today on the Quidditch field owing to the need to train their new Seeker.'"

Day 7: No Quidditch For You! "I suggest, Headmaster, that Potter is not being entirely truthful," he said. "It might be a good idea if he were deprived of certain privileges until he is ready to tell us the whole story. I personally feel he should be taken off the Gryffindor Quidditch team until he is ready to be honest." "Really, Severus," said Professor McGonagall sharply, "I see no reason to stop the boy playing Quidditch. This cat wasn't hit over the head with a broomstick. There is no evidence at all that Potter has done anything wrong." Dumbledore was giving Harry a searching look. His twinkling light-blue gaze made Harry feel as though he were being X-rayed. "Innocent until proven guilty, Severus," he said firmly. Snape looked furious.

Day 8: Expelliarmus! "Let me introduce my assistant, Professor Snape," said Lockhart, flashing a wide smile. "He tells me he knows a tiny little bit about dueling himself and has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration before we begin. Now, I don't want any of you youngsters to worry--you'll still have your Potions master when I'm through with him, never fear!" "Wouldn't it be good if they finished each other off?" Ron muttered in Harry's ear. Snape's upper lip was curling. Harry wondered why Lockhart was still smiling; if Snape had been looking at *him* like that he'd have been running as fast as he could in the opposite direction. Lockhart and Snape turned to face each other and bowed; at least, Lockhart did, with much twirling of his hands, whereas Snape jerked his head irritably. Then they raised their wands like swords in front of them. "As you see, we are holding our wands in the accepted combative position," Lockhart told the silent crowd. "On the count of three, we will cast our fist spells. Neither of us will be aiming to kill, of course." "I wouldn't bet on that," Harry murmured, watching Snape baring his teeth. "One--two--three--" Both of them swung their wands above their heads and pointed them at their opponent; Snape cried: "Expelliarmus!" There was a dazzling flash of scarlet light and Lockhart was blasted off his feet. He flew backward off the stage, smashed into the wall, and slid down it to sprawl on the floor.

Day 9: Only Bite Him A Little Bit, Please "Don't move, Potter," said Snape lazily, clearly enjoying the sight of Harry standing motionless, eye to eye with the angry snake. "I'll get rid of it..."

Day 10: Poisoning Trevor The end of the lesson in sight, Snape strode over to Neville, who was cowering by his cauldron. "Everyone gather 'round," said Snape, his black eyes glittering, "and watch what happens to Longbottom's toad. If he has managed to produce a Shrinking Solution, it will shrink to a tadpole. If, as I don't doubt, he has done it wrong, his toad is likely to be poisoned." The Gryffindors watched fearfully. The Slytherins looked excited. Snape picked up Trevor the toad in his left hand and dipped a small spoon into Neville's potion, which was now green. He trickled a few drops down Trevor's throat. There was a moment of hushed silence, in which Trevor gulped; then there was a small op, and Trevor the tadpole was wriggling in Snape's palm. The Gryffindors burst into applause. Snape, looking sour, pulled a small bottle from the pocket of his robe, poured a few drops on top of Trevor, and he reappeared suddenly, fully grown. "Five points from Gryffindor," said Snape, which wiped smiles from every face. "I told you not to help him, Miss Granger. Class dismissed."

Day 11: Insufferable Know-It-All Everyone sat in motionless silence; everyone except Hermione, whose hand, as it so often did, had shot straight into the air. "Anyone?" Snape said, ignoring Hermione. His twisted smile was back. "Are you telling me that Professor Lupin hasn't even taught you the basic distinction between--" "We told you," said Parvati suddenly, "we haven't got as far as werewolves yet, we're still on--" "Silence!" snarled Snape. "Well, well, well, I never thought I'd meet a third-year class who wouldn't even recognize a werewolf when they saw one. I shall make a point of informing Professor Dumbledore how very behind you all are..." "Please, sir," said Hermione, whose hand was still in the air, "the werewolf differs from the true wolf in several small ways. The snout of the werewolf--" "That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger," said Snape coolly. "Fire more points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all."

Day 12: Your Saintly Father "I would hate for you to run away with a false idea of your father, Potter," he said, a terrible grin twisting his face. "Have you been imagining some act of glorious heroism? Then let me correct you--your saintly father and his friends played a highly amusing joke on me that would have resulted in my death if your father hadn't gotten cold feet at the last moment. There was nothing brave about what he did. He was saving his own skin as much as mine. Had their joke succeeded, he would have been expelled from Hogwarts." Snape's uneven, yellowish teeth were bared.

Day 13: Don't Talk About What You Don't Understand "KEEP QUIET, YOU STUPID GIRL!" Snape shouted, looking suddenly quite deranged. "DON'T TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" A few sparks shot out of the end o his wand, which was still pointed at Black's face. Hermione fell silent. "Vengeance is very sweet," Snape breathed at Black. "How I hoped I would be the one to catch you..." "The joke's on you again, Severus," Black snarled. "As long as this boy brings his rat up to the castle" --he jerked his head at Ron-- "I'll come quietly...." "Up to the castle?" said Snape silkily. "I don't think we need to go that far. All I have to do is call the dementors once we get out of the Willow. They'll be very pleased to see you, Black...pleased enough to give you a little Kiss, I daresay...."

Day 14: A Great Disappointment "He must have Disapparated, Severus. We should have let somebody in the room with him. When this gets out--" "HE DIDN'T DISAPPARATE!" Snape roared, now very close at hand. "YOU CAN'T APPARATE *OR* DISAPPARATE INSIDE THIS CASTLE! THIS--HAS--SOMETHING--TO--DO--WITH--POTTER!" "Severus--be reasonable--Harry has been locked up--" BAM. The door of the hospital wing burst open. Fudge, Snape, and Dumbledore came striding into the ward. Dumbledore alone looked calm. Indeed, he looked as though he was quite enjoying himself. Fudge appeared angry. But Snape was beside himself. "OUT WITH IT, POTTER!" he bellowed. "WHAT DID YOU DO?" "Professor Snape!" shrieked Madam Pomfrey. "Control yourself!" "See here, Snape, be reasonable," said Fudge. "This door's been locked, we just saw--" "THEY HELPED HIM ESCAPE, I KNOW IT!" Snape howled, pointing at Harry and Hermione. His face was twisted; spit was flying from his mouth. "Calm down, man!" Fudge barked. "You're talking nonsense!" "YOU DON'T KNOW POTTER!" shrieked Snape. "HE DID IT, I KNOW HE DID IT--" "That will do, Severus," said Dumbledore quietly. "Think about what you are saying. This door has been locked since I left the war ten minutes ago. Madam Pomfrey, have these students left their beds?" "Of course not!" said Madam Pomfrey, bristling. "I would have heard them!" "Well, there you have it, Severus," said Dumbledore calmly. "Unless you are suggesting that Harry and Hermione are able to be in two places at once, I'm afraid I don't see any point in troubling them further." Snape stood there, seething, staring from Fudge, who looked thoroughly shocked at his behavior, to Dumbledore, whose eyes were twinkling behind his glasses. Snape whirled about, robes swishing behind him, and stormed out of the ward. "Fellow seems quite unbalanced," said Fudge, staring after him. "I'd watch out for him if I were you, Dumbledore." "Oh, he's not unbalanced," said Dumbledore quietly. "He's just suffered a severe disappointment."

Day 15: Haven't You Heard? "Blimey, haven' yeh heard?" said Hagrid, his smile fading a little. He lowered his voice, even though there was nobody in sight. "Er--Snape told all the Slytherins this mornin'....Thought everyone'd know by now...Professor Lupin's a werewolf, see. An' he was loose on the grounds las' night...He's packin' now, o' course."

Day 16: I See No Difference "And what is all this noise about?" said a soft, deadly voice. Snape had arrived. The Slytherins clamored to give their explanations; Snape pointed a long yellow finger at Malfoy and said, "Explain." "Potter attacked me, sir--" "We attacked each other at the same time!" Harry shouted. "--and he hit Goyle--look--" Snape examined Goyle, whose face now resembled something that would have been at home in a book on poisonous fungi. "Hospital wing, Goyle," Snape said calmly. "Malfoy got Hermione!" Ron said. "Look!" He forced Hermione to show Snape her teeth--she was doing her best to hide them with her hands, though this was difficult as they had now grown down past her collar. Pansy Parkinson and the other Slytherin girls were doubled up with silent giggles, pointing at Hermione from behind Snape's back. Snape looked coldly at Hermione, then said, "I see no difference."

Day 17: The Dark Mark Snape strode forward, past Dumbledore, pulling up the left sleeve of his robes as he went. He struck out his forearm and showed it to Fudge, who recoiled. "There," said Snape harshly. "There. The Dark Mark. It is not as clear as it was an hour or so ago, when it burned black, but you can still see it. Every Death Eater had the sign burned into him by the Dark Lord. It was a means of distinguishing one another, and his means of summoning us to him. When he touched the Mark of any Death Eater, we were to Disapparate, and Apparate, instantly, at his side. This Mark has been growing clearer all year. Karkaroff's too. Why do you think Karkaroff fled tonight? We both felt the Mark burn. We both knew he had returned. Karkaroff fears the Dark Lord's vengeance. He betrayed too many of his fellow Death Eater to be sure of a welcome back into the fold."

Day 18: If You Are Ready...If You Are Prepared... "Severus," said Dumbledore, turning to Snape, "you know what I must ask you to do. If you are ready...if you are prepared..." "I am," said Snape. He looked slightly paler than usual, and his cold, black eyes glittered strangely. "Then good luck," said Dumbledore, and he watched, with a trace of apprehension on his face, as Snape swept wordlessly after Sirius.

Day 19: Obviously "Now...how long have you been teaching at Hogwarts?" she asked, her quill poised over her clipboard. "Fourteen years," Snape replied. His expression was unfathomable. His eyes on Snape, Harry added a few drops to his potion; it hissed menacingly and turned from turquoise to orange. "You applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, I believe?" Professor Umbridge asked Snape. "Yes," said Snape quietly. "But you were unsuccessful?" Snape's lip curled. "Obviously." Professor Umbridge scribbled on her clipboard. "And you have applied regularly for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post since you first joined the school, I believe?" "Yes," said Snape quietly, barely moving his lips. He looked very angry. "Do you have any idea why Dumbledore has consistently refused to appoint you?" asked Umbridge. "I suggest you ask him," said Snape jerkily. "Oh I shall," said Professor Umbridge with a sweet smile. "I suppose this is relevant?" Snape asked, his black eyes narrowed. "Oh yes," said Professor Umbridge. "Yes, the Ministry wants a thorough understanding of teachers'--er--backgrounds...." She turned away, walked over to Pansy Parkinson, and began questioning her about the lessons. Snape looked around at Harry and their eyes met for a second. Harry hastily dropped his gaze to his potion, which was now congealing foully and giving off a strong smell of burned rubber. "No marks again, then, Potter," said Snape maliciously, emptying Harry's cauldron with a wave of his wand. "You will write me an essay on the correct composition of this potion, indicating how and why you went wrong, to be handed in next lesson, do you understand?"

Day 20: Very Like His Father "How touching," Snape sneered. "But surely you have noticed that Potter is very like his father?" Yes, I have," said Sirius proudly. "Well then, you'll know he's so arrogant that criticism simply bounces off him," Snape said sleekly. Sirius pushed his chair roughly aside and strode around the table toward Snape, pulling out his wand as he went; Snape whipped out his own. They were squaring up to each other, Sirius looking livid, Snape calculating, his eyes darting from Sirius' wand-tip to his face. "Sirius!" said Harry loudly, but Sirius appeared not to hear him. "I've warned you, Snivellus," said Sirius, his face barely a foot from Snape's, "I don't care if Dumbledore thinks you've reformed, I know better." "Oh, but why don't you tell him so?" whispered Snape. "Or are you afraid he might not take the advice of a man who has been hiding inside his mother's house for six months very seriously?" "Tell me, how is Lucius Malfoy these days? I expect he's delighted his lapdog's working at Hogwarts, isn't he?" "Speaking of dogs," said Snape softly, "did you know that Lucius Malfoy recognized you last time you risked a little jaunt outside? Clever idea, Black, getting yourself seen on a safe station platform...gave you a cast-iron excuse not to leave your hidey-hole in future, didn't it?" Sirius raised his wand. "NO!" Harry yelled, vaulting over the table and trying to get in between them, "Sirius, don't--" "Are you calling me a coward?" roared Sirius, trying to push Harry out of the way, but Harry would not budge. "Why, yes, I suppose I am," said Snape.

Day 21: Wormtail's Whine "We...we are alone, aren't we?" Narcissa asked quietly. "Yes, of course. Well, Wormtail's here, but we're not counting vermin, are we?" He pointed his wand at the wall of books behind him and with a bang, a hidden door flew open, revealing a narrow staircase upon which a small man stood frozen. "As you have clearly realized, Wormtail, we have guests," said Snape lazily. The man crept, hunchbacked, down the last few steps and moved into the room. He had small, watery eyes, a pointed nose, and wore an unpleasant simper. His left hand was caressing his right, which looked as though it was encased in a bright silver glove. "Narcissa!" he said, in a squeaky voice. "And Bellatrix! How charming--" "Wormtail will get us drinks, if you'd like them," said Snape. "And then he will return to his bedroom." Wormtail winced as though Snape had thrown something at him. "I am not your servant!" he squeaked, avoiding Snape's eyes. "Really? I was under the impression that the Dark Lord placed you here to assist me." "To assist, yes--but not to make you drinks and--clean your house!" "I had no idea, Wormtail, that you were craving more dangerous assignments," said Snape silkily. "This can be easily arranged: I shall speak to the Dark Lord--" "I can speak to him if I want to!" "Of course you can," said Snape, sneering. "But in the meantime, bring us drinks. Some of the elf-made wine will do."

Day 22: A Loving Caress Snape set off around the edge of the room, speaking now in a lower voice; the class craned their necks to keep him in view. "The Dark Arts," said Snape, "are many, varied, ever-changing, and eternal. Fighting them is like fighting a many-headed monster, which, each time a neck is severed, sprouts a head even fiercer and cleverer than before. You are fighting that which is unfixed, mutating, indestructible." Harry stared at Snape. It was surely one thing to respect the Dark Arts as a dangerous enemy, another to speak of them, as Snape was doing, with a loving caress in his voice? "Your defenses," said Snape, a little louder, "must therefore be as flexible and inventive as the arts you seek to undo. These pictures" --he indicated a few of them as he swept past-- "give a fair representation of what happens to those who suffer, for instance, the Cruciatus Curse" --he waved a hand toward a witch who was clearly shrieking in agony-- "feel the Dementor's Kiss" --a wizard lying huddled and blank-eyed, slumped against a wall-- "or provoke the aggression of the Inferius" --a bloody mass upon the ground.

Day 23: Better People "What does it matter?" said Malfoy. "Defense Against the Dark Arts--it's all just a joke, isn't it, an act? Like an of us need protecting against the Dark Arts--" "It is an act that is crucial to success, Draco!" said Snape. "Where do you think I would have been all these years, if I had not known how to act? Now listen to me! You are being incautious, wandering around at night, getting yourself caught, and if you are placing your reliance in assistants like Crabbe and Goyle--" "They're not the only ones, I've got other people on my side, better people!" "Then why not confide in me, and I can--" "I know what you're up to! You want to steal my glory!" There was another pause, then Snape said coldly, "You are speaking like a child. I quite understand that your father's capture and imprisonment has upset you, but--"

Day 24: Revulsion and Hatred Etched on His Face "Severus..." The sound frightened Harry beyond anything he had experienced all evening. For the first time, Dumbledore was pleading. Snape said nothing, but walked forward and pushed Malfoy roughly out of the way. The three Death Eaters fell back without a word. Even the werewolf seemed cowed. Snape gazed for a moment at Dumbledore, and there was revulsion and hatred etched in the harsh lines of his face. "Severus...please..." Snape raised his wand and pointed it directly at Dumbledore. "Avada Kedavra!"

Day 25: Don't Call Me Coward Mustering all his powers of concentration, Harry thought, Levi-- "No, Potter!" screamed Snape. There was a loud BANG and Harry was soaring backward, hitting the ground hard again, and this time his wand flew out of his hand. He could hear Hagrid yelling and Fang howling as Snape closed in and looked down on him where he lay, wandless and defenseless as Dumbledore had been. Snape's pale face, illuminated by the flaming cabin, was suffused with hatred just as it had been before he had cursed Dumbledore. "You dare use my own spells against me, Potter? It was I who invented them--I, the Half-Blood Prince! And you'd turn my inventions on me, like your filthy father, woudl you? I don't think so...no!" Harry had dived for his wand; Snape shot a hex at it and it flew feet away into the darkness and out of sight. "Kill me then," panted Harry, who felt no fear at all, but only rage and contempt. "Kill me like you killed him, you coward--" "DON'T--" screamed Snape, and his face was suddenly deranged, inhuman, as though he was in as much pain as the yelping, howling dog stuck in the burning house behind them-- "CALL ME COWARD!"

Day 26: The Guest Voldemort raised Lucius Malfoy's wand, pointed it directly at the slowing revolving figure suspended over the table, and gave it a tiny flick. The figure came to life with a groan and began to struggle against invisible bonds. "Do you recognize our guest, Severus?" asked Voldemort. Snape raised his eyes to the upside-down face. All of the Death Eaters were looking up at the captive now, as thought they had been given permission to show curiosity. As she revolved to face the firelight, the woman said in a cracked and terrified voice, "Severus! Help me!" "Ah, yes," said Snape as the prisoner turned slowly away again.

Day 27: I Regret It "All this long night, when I am on the brink of victory, I have sat here," said Voldemort, his voice barely louder than a whisper, "wondering, wondering why the Elder Wand refuses to be what it ought to be, refuses to perform as legend says it must perform for its rightful owner...and I think I have the answer." Snape did not speak. "Perhaps you already know it? You are a clever man, after all, Severus. You have been a good and faithful servant, and I regret what must happen." "My Lord--" "The Elder Wand cannot serve me properly, Severus, because I am not its true master. The Elder Wand belongs to the wizard who killed its last owner. You killed Albus Dumbledore. While you live, Severus, the Elder Wand cannot be truly mine." "My Lord!" Snape protested, raising his wand. "It cannot be any other way," said Voldemort. "I must master the wand, Severus. Master the wand, and I master Potter at last." And Voldemort swiped the air with the Elder Wand. It did nothing to Snape, who for a split second seemed to think he had been reprieved: But then Voldemort's intention became clear. The snake's cage was rolling through the air, and before Snape could do anything more than yell, it had encased him, head and shoulders, and Voldemort spoke in Parseltongue. "Kill." There was a terrible scream. Harry saw Snape's face losing the little color it had left; it whitened as his black eyes widened, as the snake's fangs pierced his neck, as he failed to push the enchanted cage off himself, as his knees gave way and he fell to the floor. "I regret it," said Voldemort coldly.

Day 28: You Hurt Her! "Tuney!" said Lily, surprise and welcome in her voice, but Snape had jumped to his feet. "Who's spying now?" he shouted. "What d'you want?" Petunia was breathless, alarmed at being caught. Harry could see her struggling for something hurtful to say. "What is that you're wearing, anyway?" she said, pointing at Snape's chest. "Your mum's blouse?" There was a *crack*. A branch over Petunia's head had fallen. Lily screamed: The branch caught Petunia on the shoulder, and she staggered backward and burst into tears. "Tuney!" But Petunia was running away. Lily rounded on Snape. "Did you make it happen?" "No." He looked both defiant and scared. "You did!" She was backing away from him. "You *did*! You hurt her!" "No--no I didn't!" But the lie did not convince Lily: After one last burning look, she ran from the little thicket, off after her sister, and Snape looked miserable and confused....

Day 29: Save Your Breath "I'm sorry." "I'm not interested." "I'm sorry!" "Save your breath." It was nighttime. Lily, who was wearing a dressing gown, stood with her arms folded in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, at the entrance to Gryffindor Tower. "I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here." "I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just--" "Slipped out?" There was no pity in Lily's voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends--you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?" He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking. "I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine." "No--listen, I didn't mean--" "--to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I any different?" He struggled on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turned and climbed back through the portrait hole....

Day 30: Anything "If she means so much to you," said Dumbledore, "surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for the mother, in exchange for the son?" "I have--I have asked him--" "You disgust me," said Dumbledore, and Harry had never heard so much contempt in his voice. Snape seemed to drink a little. "You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die, as long as you have what you want?" Snape said nothing, but merely looked up at Dumbledore. "Hide them all, then," he croaked. "Keep her--them--safe. Please." "And what will you give me in return, Severus?" "In--in return?" Snape gaped at Dumbledore, and Harry expected him to protest, but after a long moment he said, "Anything."

#severus snape #snape fest #bring back the bastard fest 2021 #bring back the bastard fest #bring back the bastard #bring back the bastard prompts #harry potter fandom fest #hp fandom #snapedom #pro-snape #snapelove #prompts #daily prompts #snape prompts

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mirkwoodshewolf · 4 years ago

Text

Nightmare paradise; Doctor Strange x daughter reader

*Author’s note*

Now I know this may not be my best work but I have been DYING to make a Doctor Strange daughter fic since like FOREVER!! A lone solo without any real relationship patterns in tact (mostly Peter Parker WHICH I DON’T DISAGREE WITH AT ALL. I’m just saying I hardly see any other fics that just revolve SOLELY on Stephen strange and a daughter reader. THAT’S IT.) So in the end THIS is what ended up being born.

Also I LEAVE FACVE CASTING OF NIGHTMARE UP TO YOU GUYS!! I personally imagined Troy Baker’s voice for Nightmare but you guys can picture WHOMEVER you wish to be the character for Nightmare. Also this fic is LOOSELY based off of WandaVision but DON’T WORRY NO SPOILERS OF THE SERIES IS GIVEN. I just took a plot point from the series and had it work for the Doctor Strange universe. Enjoy my first Maevel fic in FOREVER dearies :)

Warnings: Swearing, the BLIP mentioned and described, Thanos mentioned (yeah he’s a warning), some battle sequences, blood (if you’re squeamish).

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queen-paladin

@soy-guey

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I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock blaring off. I groaned and reached out to try and shut it off but no matter how many times I was slamming my hand on my desk, my alarm was still blaring. Finally I got out from under my covers and unplugged my clock and saw just how bright it was outside. I let out a groan and collapsed back to my pillows.

“Why do I have to be woken up so early?” I groaned tiredly before heaving myself upward and out of my bed. I walked towards my jointed bathroom and took my morning shower. After that I got changed and went downstairs to eat my breakfast.

I lifted my hand and soon a pop-tart came into my hand and I unwrapped the tinfoil and took out one of the two pop-tarts.

“It somehow amuses me to see you use your mystic arts to bring you your breakfast when you could just get it yourself.” That deep familiar baritone voice spoke out to me.

“Coming from the guy who just last month used his powers to wash his car when he was teaching me the form of astral projection.” I sassed back at him.

“That was for the purpose of multitasking.”

“That’s not a real thing.”

“What are you talking about of course it is.”

“Is not.”

“Is too.”

“Is not.”

“Is too times infinity times infinity there I win!” I chuckled and teasingly poked my tongue out at him.

“When did you get sassier than me, dad?”

“More like you inherited your sass from me. But no one can out sass me.” He said as he playfully booped my nose.

“Yeah but never forget dad,” I then took his arm and kicked his leg in before tossing him over my shoulder to finally pin him down. “I’m the more clever fighter out of the two of us.” He hummed questioningly.

“You sure about that?” suddenly I was levitated in the air and constricted in a familiar red velvet cloth. I looked down to see the cloak of levitation had my arms pinned to my sides and was levitating me just a few inches off the ground.

“You cheat!”

“The Sorcerer Supreme never cheats.”

“But my father does.”

“You know you better choose your next sentence very carefully.” My dad threatened with that growl-like tone to his voice, but the twinkle of mischief and playful smirk on his face told me that this wasn’t a real threat.

“Or what? Parlor magician.” Next thing I knew the cloak of levitation had lifted part of it’s material up and it started messing up my hair. Not only getting it tangled up but making sure it gave my hair a static charge to it.

I exclaimed as I pleaded it to stop before it was too late, but soon enough my hair resembled a porcupine with it’s quills standing up. My dad laughed as the cloak finally released me and I fixed my hair.

“Very funny dad.”

“Oh I think it’s very funny.” He said through his deep baritone chuckle. I tried to adjust my hair but some strands still remained on end. “Here, let me help.” He then licked his fingers and I exclaimed.

“Eww gross you know I hate that!”

“Well it’s either this or we wet your hair again and you don’t have time to argue because you’re already 10 minutes late for class.”

“WHAT!?” I looked at the grandfather clock and saw that it was already 7:50am. “Shit!”

“Ah-ah-ah-ah language!” my dad scolded me. I growled lowly and said.

“Okay fine just fix it hurry!” he soon made my hairbrush appear and he gently re-brushed my hair to it’s normal way. Any crazy strand that was out of place, my dad would lick his fingers and tame it down by stroking it down to the rest of my hair.

“There you go, back to your normal gorgeous hair.” I then quickly opened up a portal to my school but before I left the cloak once again grabbed my arm preventing me from leaving.

“What now?”

“You know the rules, come on. No matter how old you get you never leave the house without giving your old man a kiss.” I looked up at him then stood up on my tip toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“I’m going to be late.”

“You’re always late.” The cloak finally freed me and I hopped through the portal and gave one last wave to my dad before closing the portal back up. As the last warning bell rang, I quickly raced through the back entrance of the school and raced to my first class.

The day went on as normal. First block Advance Science, second block, PE, followed by half of third block being English and then lunch at 12:15pm and that’s where I was right now. We had about a half hour for lunch before continuing the second half of 3rd block since that’s how second lunches go.

See my school has this strange set up based on whatever class you have for your 3rd block depends on your lunch schedule. If you had an elective class (choir, drama, band, orchestra, art), a foreign language, or science class you had 1st lunch at around 10:30am (so that means you eat lunch before you would go to your 3rd block class).

Second lunches (like me) follow under English and Math have the first half dedicated to class, then lunch then we continue our class. And then 3rd lunches are for the people who eat lunch after their 3rd block classes, they’d eat then go straight to their last class of the day (history, PE/driver’s ED, health, home economics).

I was sitting with some of my friends when I heard a voice call out to me.

“Hey (Y/n)!” I turned and saw my group of friends. I walked over to our table and that’s when one of my friends Courtney said.

“Yo (n/n) what be up?”

“Nothing much, just trying to get by in Mr. Gordon’s class.”

“I still can’t believe you somehow managed to pass his class when a friend of mine is struggling so bad. And he’s never done bad in the advance classes.” Said another friend of mine, Bobi said.

“I think it comes from having a neurosurgeon as a father. Well former neurosurgeon.” I said recalling the accident. Of course I never told my friends that my dad eventually became a superhero that could bend time and reality to his will all thanks to his training he did with the former Sorceress Supreme.

“Well no worries (n/n), I’m sure your dad will get back on his feet soon.” My friend Jay said.

“Yeah, he is a strong man.”

“Then how come he got bleeped away like the rest of the world did?” said Kira. I looked up at my ginger haired friend in shock.

“What did you just say?”

“I said then how come when my dad gets the shit knocked out of him, he just bitches about it?” I looked at her confused for a second and that’s when Kelsey answered.

“Just be thankful your dad at least tries to work. All my dad does is drinks and sleep.” I patted her shoulder comfortingly as I continued eating my pizza.

When school was over, my friends and I went down to the bowling alley since it was Friday. We reserved our usual lanes and got into our teams. I was up next to bowl for my team, I took hold of my red bowl, lined myself up and took a deep breath in then exhaled out.

‘(Y/n)! (Y/n)!’ my dad’s voice soon screamed in my head. ��His tone sounded urgent and—worried? What was going on?

“Yo (Y/n) you alright?” Mikaela came up to me placing her hand on my shoulder.

“Yeah. Yeah sorry.” She gave me a comforting squeeze on my shoulder.

“It’s okay, just make the shot otherwise we’ll lose and you are our best striker.” She went back to her seat and took a sip of her diet coke. My team was cheering me on, I took another deep breath but just as I took my run and let the ball go, my head suddenly felt like it was splitting open.

The ball went straight down the gutter and I was soon met with all these flashes. I saw my dad, Tony Stark, Peter Parker, and these—other people including myself on what looked like a deserted wasteland of rubble.

There was this giant purple being that we were all fighting, a flash of green and then I saw my dad turn to dust. When my vision came back I could hear my team groaning and my other friends who had their team cheering.

“WHAT THE FUCK (Y/N)!!!” Danielle exclaimed.

“Gurl you never. Miss. A. shot!” Mikaela snapped at me.

“What the fuck was that (Y/n)?!” Jay yelled.

“Ehhh thanks (y/n). Now you guys have to pay for the meal.” Courtney said as she snapped her fingers in victory.

And I don’t know how or why it happened but suddenly I was back holding the ball in my hands, staring down the pins and my team was cheering for me. How did I get back here? Why was I back here? I felt myself step forward a few times and release the ball and soon I got a perfect strike.

My team cheered as the pins were cleared and a new set was placed down in front of me.

“Alright (n/n)! One more strike and we win!” my ball soon came back onto the ramp and I picked it up, stepped forward and released the ball and low and behold another strike! My team cheered while the other team groaned in defeat.

“Oh yasss Queen!” Chris exclaimed.

“Alright Courtney, pay up you’re buying the pizza now!”

“Damn you (y/n).” Courtney sneered at me as she took out her wallet and left the payment for all our pizzas and a tip for our waiter.

After that it was already getting dark outside and when I looked at my watch I had seen that it was now 10:30pm.

“Well guys I gotta get going.” I told them.

“Yeah I promised my mom that we’d go shopping for my sister’s wedding next month.” Mikaela said.

“Yeah and I gotta get up and ready for work by 8am. See yah guys.” Courtney said and soon all my friends and I went our separate ways. I went into an alleyway to open up a portal to get me back home when I heard a sudden crash behind me.

“Hello?” I cried out. Nothing but silence replied back to me. “Who-who’s there?” another crash was heard just head of me but I didn’t see anything.

The quick fluttering sounds of a cape or cloak whisked past behind me and when I quickly turned around I thought I could see the cloak of levitation, but it was so dark and so fast I couldn’t tell for sure.

I quickly made my portal and jumped through it and immediately closed it before finally starting to hyperventilate. My knees turned to jelly as I collapsed to the ground trying to control my breathing.

“(Y/n)? What’s wrong sweetheart are you okay?” I looked up and saw my dad kneeling down beside me.

“I—I’m fine.”

“No. You’re not. Come on let’s get you up to your room and settled in your bed.” He picked me up, holding me like how he always used to hold me when I was little and carried me back to my room.

I was now in my sleep pants and an old nightshirt. My dad made a tall glass of milk appear by my bedside and he said as he brushed a strand of hair out of my face.

“Now, you wanna talk about why I found you hyperventilating at the bottom of the stairs?” I took a sip of my milk and said.

“It’s just…..I don’t know. Something weird happened today.”

“Like what?”

“Well there was something that Kira said to me. She—” but for some reason what I was about to say slipped my mind.

“She was going to say what?”

“She……she said……I-I can’t remember. I had it but now it’s….it’s gone.”

“Okay, what else happened? I know it couldn’t be just because of what she said.”

“Yeah, yeah then there was this sense of……déjà vu. Like when I was bowling I……” but again like before, when I was about to speak about—the thing it slipped my mind once again. At this point my dad was looking at me like I was mad. “I…..I can’t remember the déjà vu thing either. Daddy, am……am I going mad?” he pressed his hand against my forehead.

“I’m afraid so. You’re entirely bonkers.” He said gravely. “But I’ll tell you a little secret. All the best people are.” He said with a grin. I looked at him with my bitch face which made him chuckle.

“Must you always quote Alice in Wonderland to me?”

“It’s your favorite movie and book of all time. You remember how you’d always beg me to read it to you as a little girl?”

“One look with my puppy dog eyes and you succumbed every time.” He pressed his forehead against mine as his nose gently rubbed against mine as he chuckled that deep baritone chuckle of his. The type that always made me feel safe.

“How about this, tomorrow we just take a day for ourselves. Just the two of us. We don’t even need to leave the house.”

“Sounds like a good idea.”

“Great, love you sweetheart.” He leaned in and kissed my temple before leaving my room and shutting the door behind him. I downed the rest of the milk and suddenly felt sleepy. I collapsed onto my pillow and like a lightbulb I fell right asleep.

But throughout the night I kept tossing and turning as I was hearing not only my dad’s voice but Wong’s voice too. They were both frantic with worry as they kept calling out to me.

When I opened my eyes I found myself back at that wasteland and I saw myself fighting against the giant purple alien. I was holding the sacred sword of Vishanti. I saw myself leap into the air and swing the sword downward but the alien caught it with his bare hands. The two of us struggled with our strengths until he grabbed me by my white tunic and threw me like a ragdoll.

My dad soon came in with the bolts of balthakk which broke apart the ground around the purple giant but his gauntlet glowed a bright purple and shit a blast towards my dad. But my dad summoned a portion of the mirror dimension and used it as a shield to protect himself before sending it towards the giant.

While the giant was distracted I then suddenly came flying over my dad and sent the Crimson bands of Cyttorak to bind him while my dad multiplied himself using the images of Ikkon. He surrounded himself around the purple giant and each image created their own binding bands which shot down towards the giant purple creep.

But he used the gauntlet again and soon my dad’s image went back to just himself and my hold on him was also severed. He used the gauntlet to bring my dad closer to him but I couldn’t hear what he was telling my dad.

What I did see was him taking the eye of Agamotto and crush it into his palm before throwing my dad aside knocking him out. I then heard myself scream out towards me dad and saw the rage in my own eyes.

I saw myself let out a battle cry as I leapt into action. This time using hand to hand combat using the sword as well as creating my own shields to block his attacks. Wow I was a rageful monster with whoever this guy was. But—why is this so familiar to me? I know this couldn’t be just a dream, it’s like—a memory? A vision maybe?

All I know was that I saw myself getting weaker with each kick and punch I tried to throw. That was until I saw myself getting stabbed in my side. The purple giant then said.

“I respect you young witch. But now you’re starting to become a nuisance.” I then watched as he took out the sword from my side and I saw myself collapse onto the ground bleeding heavily.

I found myself gasping as I woke up and looked around to see myself still in my bedroom. I turned to the clock and saw that it was 1:45am. I quickly raced downstairs, in the total pitch black of my house not knowing what I was doing.

“And just where do you think you’re going little miss?” my dad’s voice soon said. He turned around in a chair as he turned on the light beside him.

“I-I was only…….”

“You weren’t planning on sneaking out were you? You know my rule. No venturing out after midnight.”

“No dad I-I-I wasn’t.” he stood up and placed a hand on my shoulder. However I felt his nail sink onto my skin piercing through my shirt painfully. I bit my bottom lip trying to keep in a scream or even a sound of pain.

“You know how it makes me feel whenever you disobey your father. You wouldn’t want to make father angry, do you?”

“N-no.” I whimpered out.

“That’s my girl.” Suddenly my dad was shot with a bolt of balthakk. I ducked down holding my shoulder and saw a small amount of blood actually on my fingertips.

“She’s not your girl, she’s mine!” I turned around and saw Wong and my dad?! Wait what was going on here? Why were there two of them? My dad was in his full Sorcerer Supreme outfit as the cloak of levitation had him hovering over a few inches off the ground.

My dad who had been shot across the room growled out as he stood back up.

“Impossible. You were gone! I’d seen it for myself!” he hissed. My other dad smirked and said.

“14,000,605 possibilities I had seen and only one victory. That possibility has already come to pass. Now I’ll only tell you this once,” he clapped his fists together and soon his shields came over his hands and he warned my dad. “Let. My daughter go less you face the wrath of the Master of the Mystic Arts.”

“(Y/n) you need to come with us now before it’s too late.” Wong told me.

“I—I don’t understand……how?”

“Sweetheart listen to me, I’m your real father. Just come stand behind Wong and I and we’ll get you out of here.”

“Don’t listen to him (Y/n). I’m your real father. Who would know what your favorite lullaby was?”

“(Y/n) I know he may seem like me but he’s not. It’s Nightmare. He’s kept you trapped in the Dream Dimension for 3 years.”

What? Then suddenly behind me a giant green and black blast of magic shot up in the air. As my dad’s body soon began to morph into another male’s body, wearing a familiar green and black attire, his hair growing wild and madded like a lion’s mane, his nails growing sharper and blacker like claws, his teeth turning to fangs and his eyes. Those once warm blueish-green eyes that once held warmth now turned a frightening and haunting yellow with a black pupil at its center.

Suddenly it all came back to me. When Thanos had snapped half of the population away, it gave Nightmare the advantage and power boast he needed to try and escape the Dream dimension and enter our own.

So three years ago I along with some other Sorcerers (those that were left) went to the Dream Dimension to stop him from invading Earth. But due to everyone’s fear and guilt of losing their loved ones and what the world had come to, Nightmare was almost too powerful to stop. He had killed one sorcerer who was still in her training and another one he had driven mad with fear.

In order to spare the others as well as the rest of the Earth, I volunteered myself as penance. I told Nightmare that he could have me if he spared everyone on Earth. He agreed and sent the rest of the sorcerers I had brought with me back to Earth leaving me under his control. I guess he had me relive a normal life with my dad where it was mainly us, no Thanos, no other Avengers, just me and him.

A haunting laughter was heard as Nightmare spoke with his true voice.

“Right you are Doctor. However you’re only partially correct this time around.” He walked right up to me and placed his hands on my shoulders gripping them once again. “Your daughter came to me by her own freewill.”

“That’s a lie! My daughter would never surrender herself to the likes of you!” Nightmare turned to me and disappeared into black smoke before reappearing behind me.

“Do you want to tell him? Or shall I?” he said as I felt one of his claw-like nails nick across my neck. I hissed in pain and felt a small amount of blood dripping down. His finger brushed across the cut and I could see him lick the blood off his finger from my peripheral vision.

“I’m sorry dad.”

“(Y/n)…….why?” before I could say anything Nightmare simply shushed me which in turn silenced me. I tried to speak but not even a peep came out of me. Nightmare had taken my voice.

“Seems she had more common sense than you did. The daughter of the Sorcerer Supreme is a precious treasure to uphold.” I felt him stroke down my hair, the very same way my dad would always do it to me.

“This is your last warning Nightmare, let her go or else.”

“Or else what? In case you hadn’t noticed I’m the one in control here. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been before. And you’re in my dimension which gives me the homefield advantage!”

“Yeah, but there’s one thing you still haven’t let go of. Your constant need to brag.” My dad said with a grin. Nightmare looked at my father confused which gave me the chance to free myself from his grip and I binded him with the Crimson bands of Cyttorak. Wong soon joined in and pushed a wall from the mirror dimension right towards Nightmare sending him out of the room.

My dad raced up towards me and the two of us embraced each other. I felt his left hand press against my temple while his right touched the base of my throat. I felt this warmth come over me and I said to him.

“I’m sorry dad.”

“Apologize later. Right now let’s get you out of here. You’ve been in here long enough.” He took my hand and we quickly made a run for it.

The normal streets of New York melted away and I finally saw the Dream dimension for what it really was. A dark black shadow surrounded the sky with haunting eyes staring at you and fanged mouths snarling or taunting you with your worst fears and guilt. Doors were also scattered everywhere, each one leading to somewhere you didn’t want to be or even get lost in.

And at the bottom of the trail we ran along at, an endless, empty abyss. One trip or a slip, then it’s a never ending fall throughout the Dream dimension. Wong let out a few shield platforms for us to hop across.

“Come on! The door we came through won’t be in the same spot for long.” He was the first to hop onto the first platform but then just before dad and I could even take the first leap, a python suddenly shot out from the floor and took hold of my calf.

“(Y/n)!” my dad exclaimed. I was being dragged towards the edge of the trail. I tried my best to scratch myself back towards my dad but the python continued to drag me towards the edge till I was finally dangling over the abyss.

My dad summoned the sword of Vishanti and threw it straight into the python’s eye which forced it to let me go as it recoiled back in pain before disappearing into a puff of black smoke. Dad quickly brought me back onto solid ground and we both saw my leg was heavily bleeding.

“Never did I think I could hate snakes even more than I usually do.” I groaned out a joke.

“Just be thankful he didn’t conjure up a venomous one. Try to stop the bleeding.” The cloak of levitation came off my dad’s shoulders and wrapped itself around my leg, tightening itself up to stop the bleeding.

“You and Wong need to get out of here. You guys can come back with help.”

“I’m not gonna leave you here again that’s not happening!”

“Dad I can’t walk! And without the cloak you can’t fly.”

“We’ll think of something.”

‘I’m afraid there won’t be any time for you three, or should I say you two.’ That’s when we noticed that Wong had suddenly gone missing.

“Wong? Wong!” my dad called out.

‘Face it Strange, you’re in my dimension now. And thanks to your daughter’s powers I’ve grown more powerful than ever before!’ My dad picked me up bridal style and proceeded to run.

Somehow we managed to find somewhere to hide. One of many doors that simply looked like a dark cave. My dad sat me down and that’s when the cloak unwrapped itself from my leg and my dad began to heal my leg as quickly as he could.

“Dad…..if—if we don’t make it out of here…..”

“We’re gonna make it out.”

“Dad please I—I need to say this, after five long years please just let me speak my mind.” He looked at me worriedly but gave me a nod. “If we don’t make it out of here alive, I—just want you to know that…..I’m proud to call you my father. I know we had a—rocky start especially when I became a teenager but—after the accident I thought I had lost you forever. And then when—Thanos blipped you away. I’d come so close to losing you again without telling you how I’ve felt about you. I love you daddy. I really, really do love you.” He pressed his hand against my cheek and said.

“I love you too (Y/n). I love you so, so much. I know I haven’t been Dad of the year to you, but……I thought it was because I wasn’t ready to be a dad. I thought I would screw up and have you end up broken. But I am proud to call you my daughter, my little white witch.” I smiled at him sadly.

‘How sentimental.’ Nightmare’s voice echoed through the darkness. My dad pulled me close to his chest, his arms wrapped around me protectively, same thing with the cloak as it felt the red velvet material wrap it’s two edges around me.

“So what now Nightmare? Now that I’ve broken free of your spell you going to kill me?” I heard his haunting chuckle as he said.

“No of course not. He is.” Suddenly my dad was struck with one of Nightmare’s controlling spells. It hit him right in his eyes and I saw the black and green magic aura surround my dad, trying to manipulate him.

“No! Dad! Dad no please fight it!” I pleaded as my dad was groaning and writhing on the floor. He held his hands to his head as he exclaimed in pain. “Daddy no please, you’re stronger than him. You’re clever than him, you’re Doctor Stephen Strange!”

“Hate to break it to you sweetheart, but daddy’s no longer home.” Nightmare soon appeared as the cave light up by a single firepit just a few feet away from us. Nightmare stood on top of a ledge of sorts and that’s when I heard the snarl of an animal next to me.

When I looked down that’s when I saw my dad had now shifted into a Nightmare. Teeth like a wolf’s bared at me, gleaming like the full moon, his eyes now a haunting gold like a tiger’s eye but his pupils were slitted like a snake’s, claws like meat hooks, a whip-like tail that almost looked like a dragon’s tail and bat wings soon sprouted from his back as he stared me down snarling.

I backed up before hobbling away from him but my dad charged after me. That’s when the cloak of levitation came to protect me as it wrapped itself around my father’s face trying to smother him.

“You know maybe I should’ve made you deal with this the past three years. Your biggest fear is your beloved father turned against you.” I fell to the ground due to my injury and backed away up against the rocky wall. All the while I watched in horror as my dad actually began ripping the cloak apart before staring directly as me once again.

“Release him at once Nightmare! This wasn’t a part of our deal!” I snapped as I looked up to where he was standing above me.

“Contracts can be edited sweetheart. So long as I bind you to my will it doesn’t matter what you see. Unless by my word that I release you from your contract, you are stuck here for eternity.” I heard a snarl and when I looked forward, my dad was just inches away from my face.

His canine teeth gleaming right at me as he kept licking his fangs. He truly was a monster now, there was not a single trace of my dad anymore in this beast.

“No daddy.” He stalked closer and closer inch by inch till I could feel his hot breath panting right in my face.

“Sweet dreams love.” Nightmare gave me one last taunt using my dad’s real voice.

Then quicker than lightning the beast that was once my father actually lunged for my neck and I felt his canines pierce my skin and I let out a blood curdling scream.

“Blech! Blood, blood, blood! And—death!” I said as my dad released my neck grinning at my over dramatic death scene. I then collapsed to the ground and played dead with my tongue out and everything.

“Alright now you’re just milking it.” My dad spoke with a slightly more gravel to his normal voice (kinda reminded me of Smaug from the Hobbit films). “Besides, I think we’ve got him. Thank you Nightmare you’ve been a great costar.” Dad said as he helped me stand up.

“What?” oh the confusion on Nightmare’s face was priceless.

“Oh did you think you actually affected me with your Nightmare magic? Well spells can be contained by other spells, and your attack is trapped in the mirror dimension.”

“And I’ve been working on some other forms of magic like shapeshifting thanks to some Norse spell books.” I explained to him gesturing to my dad.

“My girl is a clever one. Cheeky at times too.” Dad said as he ruffled my hair. Nightmare growled and said to me.

“But you forget one thing, you’re still under my control (Y/n) Strange. So says my law.”

“Yeah about that.” I then pulled out a small tape recorder from my pocket, rewind it and played the part that I needed and soon Nightmare’s voice said.

‘I release you from your contract.’

“Now by your own law, I am no longer tied to the Dream Dimension, or your control.” Nightmare’s face dropped from pride to utter defeat.

“No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no!”

“Oh yes. It’s called a hustle bitch. Mic drop!” Soon a portal came behind dad and I and we both jumped through it sending us back to the New York Sanctum. The last thing we heard was Nightmare’s defeated tantrums.

Wong immediately closed the portal behind us and I dropped the spell from my dad turning him back to his normal self.

“You know he’ll try to return.” Wong told us.

“Yeah and now it seems I’m a bigger threat to him than you are dad.” I said.

“Well no matter what happens, we’ll be there to make sure he doesn’t try to return to Earth. Whatever it takes.”

Later that night as I was browsing through my phone, a knock was heard at my door.

“It’s open.” My dad soon came in and he said.

“How are you feeling?”

“After finally getting some real food in my system, and finally getting to use the Internet again. I’d say I’m doing better.”

“You know you didn’t have to be the one to do it. Wong was willing to hold Nightmare off.”

“I know, but the Time stone did show you that I needed to be the one to do it. Plus a poor, helpless, defenseless little girl willing to sacrifice herself for her friends. Nightmare could never resist such a scenario.”

“But to be tortured by him for three years? I’m surprised your psyche hasn’t been damaged.” He said as he sat down beside me.

“Well truthfully it wasn’t any different than what we’re doing right now. I was basically living a normal life with you, still using our powers but it was all before Thanos ever came into the picture. It almost felt like a sitcom at times.”

“Interesting.” Dad pondered.

“In all seriousness though dad, I’m fine. Mentally and physically. Well most of me anyways.” I said raising my newly bandaged leg. “But that’ll heal in the next few days thanks to Wong’s herbal remedies.”

“Well it’s getting late, so your head goes right there.” He said pointing to my pillow.

“Nah think I’ll just stay up all night. I mean I have been asleep technically for 3 years.”

“Fine, but don’t come whining to me when I come in here at first light for your morning training.”

“Please dad. You hate mornings even more than I do. Even when you were a neurosurgeon you hated your morning shifts.” He chuckled and gave me a kiss on top of my head.

“You really are my daughter.”

“And damn proud of it.”

“Goodnight (Y/n).”

“Night dad. Glad to have you back.” He winked at me before leaving my room. I laid back against my pillow and sighed heavily continuing to go through the web and looking at my old social media accounts that I hadn’t used in awhile and seeing just what some of my old friends were up to. “You may have created the perfect paradise for me Nightmare, but I wouldn’t trade my reality for anything else.” I spoke out loud knowing that Nightmare could be potentially listening in.

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stina-is-a-punk-rocker · 4 years ago

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jacqueline wilson’s ‘love lessons’

tw: abuse, pedophilia, characters making Bad Decisions, long unnecessary spiel about my childhood like I’m running a recipe blog

It’s funny how loads of the authors who helped shaped me into the vaguely humanoid being I am today have names beginning with the letter ‘J’; Judy Blume, Jeff Kinney, John Green, J.K. Rowling (yikes, I know) … and Jacqueline Wilson.

I’ve never owned a Jacqueline Wilson book of my own; they were always borrowed from a friend, or from a friend of a friend, or from a friend of a cousin- you get the gist. Her books, for me, come with an entire aesthetic: something reminiscent of yard sales, and reading under the covers with a flashlight, and being lulled into a false sense of security by the deceptively innocent Nick Sharratt illustration on the cover until someone’s best friend gets mowed over.

So I knew what I was getting into when I picked up Love Lessons. I knew this was going to be Fucked Up; and boy, was I right.

(Here’s the part where I warn you about spoilers.)

From an abusive dad to creepy child predator teachers to slut-shaming and victim blaming, this book has it all.

The main character is Prudence ‘Prue’ King, who is homeschooled at the beginning of the book, along with her sister, Grace. Their parents remain rooted in the early twentieth century, and are very strict about- well, everything. No TV, no computers, not a single mobile phone in the house; their clothing worse than the orphans’ from Annie; and their father remains distinctly distrustful of modern institutions like the school and the hospital; and so on, and so forth.

Daddy King suffers a stroke, and has to be taken to the hospital. Meanwhile, Mrs. King (a floppy, spineless woman who lives in fear and awe of her, frankly horrid, husband) sends the girls to school, behind the then invalid Mr. King’s back. Cue Prue and Grace being the freakshows of the school, with their strange clothing and overbearing mother.

Grace manages to make friends, but Prue remains alone. The kids are dicks, the teachers are dicks… well, all of them but one. And that’s the art teacher, Mr. Raxberry (I just couldn’t get over that name; it seems like something you’d name a mythical plant from Pixie Hollow or some shit. I’m assuming it isn’t an actual name, since the spelling & grammar check on my computer doesn’t seem to recognize it), or Rax, as he’s called.

Oh, yeah; Prudence’s favorite subject in school is art, and she’s a whiz at it. This is relevant, because reasons.

And here’s where stuff gets murky. Prue develops a crush on Rax- which is perfectly normal. I’m definitely no stranger to it; I’ve had crushes on my teachers, my mum admitted she used to think one of her professors was cute. And yeah, as I grew older, I grew out of those crushes and now have a markedly more refined taste in men (unless he’s 5’ 7’’, born in ’97 and named Bang Chan, I don’t want him); and my mum married my dad, so I’m assuming she did, too. Admittedly, now that my dad teaches at a university, it’s icky to think that there might be students who have crushes on him- but I digress.

My point is, loads of us have liked our teachers. But I doubt the majority of us have acted on it.

And Prue actively showing her interest in Rax isn’t the worst part. That’s a spot reserved for Rax reciprocating her feelings.

Guess Ezra Fitz and Ms. Grundy (yes, I watched Riverdale; please don’t cancel me) have a new addition to the Creep Club.

The age of consent in the UK is 16, if I’m not mistaken. Prue is 14. She’s just barely become a teenager, and she’s being preyed upon.

Because that is what Rax is. He’s a predator; he preys upon this vulnerable girl who’s never been in a relationship before- hell, she’s never even had friends- her father’s abusive, so she obviously doesn’t have the best experience when it comes to men- she’s unpopular at school, with the students and staff alike- and he lures her in. I don’t care how bloody nice he is to Sarah, or what a good dad he is (well, he’s really not, seeing as he cheated on the mother of his children WITH A BLOODY FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD CHILD)- the guy’s a fucking pedophile.

I was staunchly stuck at a yellow light with him; like, sure, maybe Prue thinks he’s flirting with her- maybe she’s looking at this all wrong, she doesn’t know how relationships work- see, he drew a picture of Sarah, too, in his secret notebook- Prue’s just reading into this too much- up until he says he loves her.

Dude. Humbert fucking Humbert. She’s fourteen, for Christ’s sake, and you’re married. You have two children. She’s a child. She’s probably closer to your son’s age than she is to yours.

(This is the part where I bury my head in my pillow. And scream. Extensively, and with passion.)

The book does make some genuinely good commentary on slut-shaming and victim blaming and abusive parenting. And on one hand, I can see why so many people find issue with the romanticization of the when I kissed the teacher trope- but I can defend it, too.

The book is in Prue’s perspective. She thinks she’s in love with Rax, so obviously, she’s not going to throw in some valuable moral at the end- because she’s too young and inexperienced to think otherwise. And sadly, there are loads of instances of child abuse that go unreported because the victims just don’t know better.

What I have issue with is how the school dealt with it, ultimately. Prudence, a child, has to deal with the consequences of the actions of a literal child predator. Sure, Rax ‘clears his name’ by cooking up some bullshit story about how it was only a crush and he didn’t encourage it, but you’d think other adults would know better and, oh, I dunno- dig deeper into it, instead of blaming it on a child?

“She says you told Mr. Raxberry you loved him and he held you in his arms and fondled you.”

Which Prudence denies, because, again, she doesn’t know better. She then goes on to say that they did nothing wrong. To which the adult speaking to her, in this case, the principal, Miss Wilmott, goes on to say:

“I’m not sure that’s entirely true… I feel that there are some aspects of your friendship that could be considered inappropriate.”

FYI, lady, he kissed her- multiple times (not that kissing her once makes him any more redeemable), and told her he loved her, and admitted to fantasizing about running away with her and leaving his family behind. Fun fact: do you know Prudence is underage?

You’d think that Miss Wilmott would maybe give this whole fiasco a favorable ending, but it turns out she listens to school gossip;

“I haven’t been at all happy with your attitude. You don’t seem to understand how to behave in school. I’ve heard tales of unsuitable underwear and then a silly romance with one of the boys in your class. I feel that in the space of a few short weeks you’ve made rather a bad name for yourself… I don’t know whether you intend to be deliberately insolent but you certainly come across as an unpleasantly opinionated and arrogant girl… I can’t help feeling that you’ll be much better off elsewhere. I shall try hard to engineer a suitable transfer to another school.”

And then she comes out with this gem:

“If you won’t leave, then I shall have to ensure that Mr. Raxberry finds another position.”

“No, you can’t do that! He’s a brilliant teacher.”

“You should have thought of that before you started acting in this ridiculous and precocious manner. If I were another kind of headteacher, I would have Mr. Raxberry instantly suspended. There could even be a court case. He would not only lose his job, he could find himself in very serious trouble. Did you ever stop to think about that?”

Girlboss, gaslight and gatekeep. The fucking trifecta.

Also, by ‘another kind of headteacher’, does she mean the kind of headteacher WHO DOESN’T LET CHILD PREDATORS ROAM FREELY WITHIN THEIR HALLS?

This bitch is out here blaming a child, a literal child, for the crimes of an adult man.

The only time Prue seems aware of the fact that Mr. Raxberry is actually a very shit person is her immediate thoughts that follow after she tells Miss Wilmott she’ll take the fall;

I so wanted to save darling Rax- and yet why hadn’t he wanted to save me? Had he told Miss Wilmott it was all my fault, that I’d got a ridiculous crush on him, that I’d made ludicrous advances to him? … I wanted to tell this horrible, patronizing woman how hungrily he’d kissed me, but I couldn’t do it. I loved him. I had to help him.

NO, SWEETHEART; YOU MOST DEFINITELY DO NOT.

And maybe I’m going overboard with all these excerpts, but here’s what Rax has to tell Prue, after school, following her expulsion:

“I let her think the worst of you, the best of me, just to save my skin. I said it was ridiculous talking about a love affair between us. I said you simply had a crush on me, and that I was just trying to be kind… You were brave enough to stand up to me and force me to acknowledge the truth… I love you… That’s why I had to take a risk and see you this one last time. I didn’t want you to think I didn’t care… Every night when I close my eyes, I’ll think of us together in this car and how badly I wanted to drive off with you. I’ll imagine us walking hand in hand at the water’s edge… I wish I wasn’t such a coward.”

(I burrow into the pillow further. I’m trying to suffocate myself.)

And that’s where I think Wilson went wrong. Sure, Prudence getting expelled for something that was completely out of her hands is unfair, and horrible, but it’s real. That shit can happen.

What’s bad is showing Rax in a positive light after all that. If only Wilson had written Rax to not be the Romeo he thinks he is. Make him ignore Prudence, throw her under the bus in front of her face, instead of this star-crossed lovers bullshit it’s made out to be. Show your younger audience that Rax is not a good man. I’ve got a little over two weeks left for my twentieth; I can see why this is unacceptable. But I was a little younger than Prue when I watched Pretty Little Liars, and my only gripe with Aria dating Ezra was that Noel Kahn was so much cuter.

It shows when you scroll down the Goodreads reviews; you’ve got adults giving it one or two stars, and teenagers giving it four or five, with their biggest complaints being, “but Toby was cuter!!!”

Other non-pedophilia related complaints regarding the book include: Prudence being unlikable- which I didn’t really notice, considering she reacted to some people way better than I would’ve, even at 19 (which probably says a lot more about me than it does about Prue, but oh well). Still, Prudence obviously isn’t the most prudent of people- and again, she’s fourteen. Look me in eye and tell me you weren’t an arsehole at that age (unless you’re fourteen now, in which case, I assure you that you’ll look back on yourself someday and go ‘wtf was I thinking’). Bringing up Toby’s dyslexia in an argument was low, though.

There were people who thought the Kings’ almost-Amish lifestyle was exaggerated and unrealistic, but I assure you, it may very well be real. There are 8 billion people on the world- it’s fair to assume that several of them are complete weirdos.

Grace was a sweet character, and I adored her with every fiber of my being. As were her friends Iggy and Figgy. Honestly, I would’ve loved a book about Iggy, Figgy and Piggy’s (mis)adventures too.

#love lessons #jacqueline wilson #teacher #teacher crush #teacher x student #anti ezria #ezria #pretty little liars #aria montgomery #ezra fitz #when i kissed the teacher #book review #books

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sukiglycerin · 4 years ago

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call it fate (or a christmas miracle) || katsuki bakugou.

* pairing: bodyguard!katsuki bakugou x earthbending quirk!reader (gender neutral!)

* genre: bodyguard!au, fluff, some angst, fake dating, aNd thEre wAs OnE bEd

* words: 10.3k (help)

* warnings: swearing bc bakugou, too much backstory, idk what bodyguards even do, there’s a fight scene (in a similar lieu to the sports festival arc), hunter x hunter? no this is tsundere x tsundere, i want to hug bakugou, yes i imagine mr. tanaka to be the tanaka from kuroshitsuji, christmas is a very minor aspect of the story (but the title was too good to resist)

* original request from @apexqueenie: Hnnnnnnnnnnnngh can I get a Bodygaurd Bakuboi x bratty reader who don’t like to be watched like a hawk cuz she wants to do fun things pretty please? // and from anonymous: if it's ok, can I request Bakugou with a reader who has a quirk like earth bending please? // and from @killkurzyackerman: ÒWÓ UR REQS ARE OPEN can u do a bakubabe with like lil sassy bad bitch vibe reader bc ive seen a lot of fics that sorta like softie or angel type and no offense theyre great but ya know sumthn diff this time please

* a/n: this is a very long fic, to say the least. i combined these three requests! though reader’s quirk doesn’t appear often, it conveys my thoughts on how bakugou would go about with that quirk. moreover, i hope this reader is badass? i realize that that characterization is quite hard for me. so, i hope you don’t see reader as super soft! i made them fight back against bakugou (literally, too) and kinda bratty hehe. i got to explore a lot of new things with this fic, so i hope they reach you well. this is a repost because it originally did not show up in the tags!

* synopsis: things had gotten boring with bakugou as your bodyguard. it was only until an interesting proposal by the man that things would change. well, maybe a little too much would change...

you, to be quite simple and honest, were getting tired of katsuki bakugou. he'd been your bodyguard for years (years! much longer than any other you'd hired!) and he was getting boring. dull. plain. any synonymous word would fit. he was boring like a 24 hour session of watching paint dry, monotone like a professor’s droning that never failed to put you to sleep. (perhaps he was even more spiritless than professor sato at the academy. he caught you sleeping no less than thirteen times in his class. the number didn’t even account for the times he didn’t catch you.)

to the untrained eye, katsuki bakugou is vibrant. he's aggressive, unruly, and ruggedly charming (somehow). he's a wonder in a suit-and-tie and the epitome of an oxymoron with his harsh words, rough hands, and crisp suit. it was that very reason you’d hired him; his personality excited you. it seemed unpredictable and it was a challenge.

like all other challenges, bakugou was not impossible. once the challenge was overcome, time flow was stagnant; you watched the ticking of a clock as the day passed by you. you’d gotten used to him and he’d gotten used to you. these days, he watched you like a hawk. you could never slip past those sharp eyes anymore, no matter what you did. he was not fazed by any of your antics (ticked off mildly, sure, but he could live with it).

“leave me alooooone,” you whined for the fourth time in an hour as you exited a mall. bakugou's hands were full of shopping bags filled with everything from clothing to the latest technological invention. you weren’t sure how he was supposed to protect you in that condition. though, to be candid - in the first place, you didn’t need protection. you attended a private institution designed to maximize the use of your quirk as a child and graduated with absolutely flying colors. on top, you’d taken various martial arts outside of school. you didn’t know why your parents were still concerned about your wellbeing. you handled it fine. around 99.9% of the time, you could easily beat your bodyguard in a fair fight. it was a regular practice for you; so common that there was a reward if a bodyguard could last longer than six months working for you. not that any of them liked to be called bodyguards.

“sweetheart, i would if i could,” bakugou gritted through his teeth. “pay’s too good to- goddamn, what did you even buy?” he’d stopped behind you to adjust his grip on one of the bags.

you hummed pleasantly, continuing at your same, leisurely pace. his question was a rhetoric; he watched you buy everything with your black credit card. you watched as a car pulled up in front of you.

“there’s our ride,” you said, brushing bakugou’s shoulder as you stepped into the car. he grunted in response, loading the car with your purchases.

“fight me with your quirk when we get home,” you said during the ride. “you have, what, a boom boom quirk?”

he made a noise in his throat, voice hard. “my quirk’s explosions. nitroglycerin.”

“dangerous,” you said through a smile. he’d never used his quirk around you, but you were already starting to see possibilities of strategies you could use.

“so says the master earthbender,” he retorted sarcastically.

you clicked your tongue. “we’ll see who wins in the fight, explodo-boy.”

“finally brave enough to challenge me, eh?"

“i was always this brave.”

“oh, give it up already, bakugou!” you directed another wall of rocky terrain toward bakugou, who blew up the land and sent rocks flying. his stance was hunched slightly, forehead matted with sweat. the sleeves of his white shirt were rolled up to his elbows, coat long abandoned on the rugged terrain.

“tired already?” he snarled. he put his hands together, preparing for a bigger explosion. you didn’t let him have this opportunity, slinging a large rock to absorb the impact of the explosion. he dodged swiftly, to your disappointment, but his attack seemed to be subdued.

you used his delayed reaction time to try to trap him with terrain under his feet, but he was somehow a step ahead of you. you heard a popping noise; bakugou was propelled through the air, your rocks blasted already and a cloud of dust forming. you cussed under your breath, already moving yourself away from his estimated landing spot that was too close to you.

he sent crackling explosions to the bottoms of your feet, but you easily dodged them. you created a temporary platform of elevated ground to protect yourself from the small explosions, jumping off it and rolling away. he was already aiming a larger blast toward you, presumably expecting your escape route. you figured it’d be a directed blast to pierce through a wall. you knew that the explosion would be unavoidable. to counter, you created a line of walls resembling dominos. they acted as stairsteps; you quickly ran up to the highest you could conjure in the short time you had before bakugou hit them. you grabbed the closest piece of rock that you could and leapt as bakugou’s blast made contact with your steps, chucking the rock at him and aiming to kick him when you landed. you knew he had no power to counter, being unable to react quickly due to the powerful nature of the blast he’d conjured.

you were about to win when the door to the training facility opened. you froze, literally, in midair and frowned, turning to look at the intruder.

“fighting, young-?” one of the butlers, tanaka, said. he was an elderly man with a gentle voice, but his eyes always seemed to glint with a clandestine humour in it.

“you can call me by my first name. please put me down, tanaka,” you said, no malice in your voice. he nodded, and you softly landed on your feet next to bakugou. you’d known tanaka for far too long for him to use honorifics with you. he’d practically raised you as a child.

“you haven’t fought in a while,” tanaka commented. he conjured a water bottle (you never knew how he had the right things for the right occasions) and walked toward you.

you made a noise of acknowledgement. “and it seems i was just about to win.”

he smiled tenderly. “i’m sure.” he handed you the water bottle, which upon further inspection, you saw was ice cold.

“thank you,” you said, gingerly accepting the beverage. the water flowed soothingly down your throat, easing the aching that had formed due to all the dust you’d kicked up in the fight.

“mr. bakugou?” tanaka asked, offering another water bottle (seriously, where did he get that?).

“thanks,” bakugou took the bottle. he drank feverishly, quickly finishing the bottle in what must’ve been two seconds flat. so undignified.

“y/n, you have an appointment in 15 minutes with-” tanaka said as you capped your water bottle.

“oh, yeah,” you said, waving off the matter. “i got it.”

you brushed off the dust on your clothes and started toward the exit. bakugou was quick to follow you, nodding politely to tanaka.

bakugou stood outside the door during the meeting you had with your father. you were not a minute too late or too early when you stepped into your father’s office, freshened up and dressed in clean attire, the dusty clothing from your fight with bakugou long discarded. the smell of leather and mint enveloped you, reminding you of the days you’d play in your father’s office in your youth. the room was always dim, the light on your father’s desk being the brightest object in the vicinity when the curtains were pulled down. when you were younger, you liked to pretend the room was made of chocolate, as the color was so dominant on the interior. your father was not pleased to find five-year-old you trying to bite the corner of his desk, to say the least.

the sight of his office was ever-so familiar to you, and once held a feeling of endearment in your heart. that was then; now, you only ever entered the room for a business-related matter. your face was blank, lips held in a thin line - you anticipated the topic of the meeting since your father first scheduled it a week ago. it, quite frankly, was inevitable; you could be neither opposed nor favorably disposed to it.

“i’ve found a compatible match for you, y/n.” your father sat at his desk, eyes intensely trained on you. “they’re from a well-off family with a strong quirk.”

compatible. it didn’t mean they got along with you or would be a good partner; no, it meant that they matched the superficial criteria set by your family.

“yes, father,” you said indifferently. he nodded, as if already expecting the answer.

“you’ll meet them soon. we’re arranging the date,” he folded his hands on the desk. “tanaka will alert you of it when it’s finalized. that is all.”

you nodded, taking your cue to leave. giving the room one last glance, you started to push the door open, then paused. door halfway open, allowing outside light to stream into the dark room, you looked back at your father. it was now or never to ask, you guessed.

“father… we wouldn’t happen to be having a family gathering anytime soon, would we? for new years or anything...” you hadn’t had any in the recent years, but you’d figured you’d ask. the scent of homemade food and the comforting chatter of the gatherings always made your heart swell.

he grunted, not looking up from the papers he shuffled around in his hands. “no.”

“ah. okay,” you said, sighing quietly. you knew better than to get your hopes up for such things. you turned back to the light, where bakugou was awaiting you, and shut the door behind you with a thud.

you walked in silence.

“so, no plans for the holidays?” bakugou asked bluntly.

“eavesdropping, i see,” you deadpanned.

“shouldn’t’ve had the conversation in front of the whole damn world.”

you rolled your eyes. “what about it?” you asked. “my lack of plans, i mean.”

“well-” he coughed awkwardly into his sleeve, averting his eyes. “that old hag- my, uh, mom, somehow got under the impression that i’m no longer… single. probably because of my profession - she thinks it’s ridden with scandals like a damn drama - but, uh… she’s expecting me to bring… company home for our christmas dinner…. and i can’t ask any of my friends, ‘cause she knows them… i wouldn’t damn ask you if i had no other option…”

“thanks,” you interjected. you held your tongue from making a comment about how little friends he probably had. “anyway, why don’t you tell her no?”

he slouched. “have you met her?” he grumbled. “the hag won’t listen to me. trust me, i would’ve, but… you can’t refuse her, once her mind is set on something… she’s too stubborn for her damn good.”

“like you,” you remarked, earning a small shove from the man.

“pl-” he choked, “pl - ah, fuck - please can you go to the dinner with me? it’s just for a night and morning, i need you to fake being my date. i can tell her we broke up later or whatever, i just really need…”

your lip curled. a desperate bakugou was a rare sight, and you wanted to relish in it for as long as you could. you feigned further consideration.

“but there’s so much i would rather be doing…” you whined. it was a lie. all you wanted was some variation in your life; a dinner didn't sound too bad. perhaps there was a dark secret within the bakugou family you could exploit.

“like what, wasting money?” bakugou muttered bitterly under his breath. you shot him a dirty look.

“fine, please?” he asked again. “there’ll be some damn good food… and, uh…” you tapped your foot with false impatience.

he cussed under his breath. “i’ll do whatever you want, damnit, just go with me! please!”

you cocked an eyebrow. “whatever i want?”

“yes, for a day,” he groused. “only a day.”

“alright!” you pumped your fist up. your father’s business training came in handy sometimes. “when’s the dinner?”

“this weekend,” bakugou said. “we also need to, uh, figure out how to act more… coupley.”

“...right,” you said. business class had not prepared you for that. “how the fuck do we do that?”

as it turned out, you two were not the best pair to fake a relationship. neither of you had actually been in a relationship prior to this. you didn’t really have time to date on top of your studies and such; you didn’t need to, anyway, because all of the people who were romantically interested in you bored you. their personality traits either consisted of rich or doormat. as for bakugou - well, he was bakugou. you couldn’t see anyone wanting to date that brute.

“i’ll pay,” you said upon entering a cafe. it was a big cafe, nestled in the midst of an even bigger mall. your tone was firm; there’d be no way bakugou would be paying. you looked up at the menu and said to him, “the usual?”

he was silent for a moment, and you almost thought he hadn’t heard you. he cleared his throat. “uh, yeah, sure. the usual.” weird.

you ordered yourself a drink and bakugou his usual order, a decaf iced caramel macchiato with light ice. he looked at you with a strange emotion on his face when you handed him his drink.you practically shoved it in his hands while he was too starstruck about god-knows-what.

the two of you settled at a booth (“table,” bakugou had argued. you eventually won the debate).

“so… trivia about each other, right?” you asked. “i guess we’ve got to get to know each other more.” he nodded. “well, first, you need to stop being so quiet. right now, you’re not my bodyguard or anything. we’re, uh…. dating. we’re partners. datemates. lovers.”

he choked on his drink at the word “lovers.” he sputtered, then gained composure. “yeah.”

“okay, i need to you to be more casual.”

“tch, who said i’m not casual right now?!” there it was; this was the bakugou you’d known when you first met him. he was awkward and amateur-ish, stumbling on his words and failing miserably at being polite. it was a fond memory. overtime, he’d obviously polished himself up (but only in the presence of you and your family).

“that’s more like it,” you said.

“tch.” he sipped his coffee, unrelenting to admit that you’d won.

“well, let’s cover basic facts. your birthday is april 20 and you like spicy food.”

he coughed again, setting his drink down. “yeah.”

“are you okay? d’you need water, or something? are the lights in here too bright?”

he shook his head, eyes still dazed with a certain unclarity. “‘m fine, idiot.”

you weren’t convinced. “...whatever you say.”

he took another sip, closing his eyes then continuing as normal. normal, in the standards of bakugou, of course. “i-i think i know damn well enough about you. don’t need to prove shit,” he grumbled the last bit.

“a little bit too well,” you muttered saltily. “well, this is a learning experience for me, take it or leave it. we need to get along at the dinner, don’t we?” you drummed your fingers on the table, eyes darting around at the cafe. the decor was pretty.

he made a grievance under his breath, but nodded. “there’s my dad and my mom - the old hag - and me. i’m an only child.” figures. he continued, “they both work in fashion… yeah… my dad’s more quiet than my mom, she’s loud… apparently we’re a lot alike - don’t comment - but yeah, she’s my mom. they live in shizuoka, and it’ll be just them at the dinner. you’ll need to stay overnight...”

“seems… intimate,” you commented offhandedly.

he whistled. “you think?”

the gears in your head turned as you stared into the space over bakugou's shoulder at a large poster of some featured drink. it was all small talk to you, but you saw this meeting for what it was. an opportunity. it was your break from the uniform days plaguing you for the past week's - he wouldn’t need to watch over you, now your fake lover. lovers were equal.

love - what was love? you didn’t know, but it didn’t matter. feigned or not, it was different. couples were moody, from what you could gather. one day they’d be hanging off each other’s limbs, and the next, they were bickering their heads off. it sounded fun, to be a couple with bakugou rather than his employer. you could say goodbye to normalcy and tedium.

you felt your lips turn into a smile as a plan developed in your mind, tapping the table at an increasingly faster tempo. who cared about the dinner? you were a fake couple! you could break away from the norm and find the things that made bakugou tick. you could gain a one-up over him. you could pick his personality apart piece by piece until it broke the monotony of daily life. you watched bakugou’s expression grow puzzled and frustrated. you pretended to be deep in thought, aware that bakugou was opening his mouth to make a snarky comment presumably about how the smile on your face was getting unnerving to him.

you didn’t let him speak, instead cupping your face in your hands and leaning in towards him. “how do you think we should become more intimate, kat-su-ki?”

you think you got soft over the years. when you first met bakugou, he was a rough little thing. being the same age as you, he was far less qualified compared to the other candidates to be your bodyguard. he looked out of place in his suit identical to everyone else. call it fate, or what you will, beckoning you towards him. when you first met him, you could’ve never imagined how far into the future you’d be stuck with the boy. all of the bodyguards you’d hired prior to bakugou’s appearance in your life didn’t last long. it wasn’t their fault; no, no, they were very competent. extremely competent - to the point it was boring, scrutinized under their meticulous gaze. you could do absolutely nothing under their watch, and where was the fun in that?

so, long story short, you hired bakugou for his incompetence. you’d low expectations for how long he’d last. you were surprised he could even put on a tie properly. from the way his hair spiked in every which way (“undignified!” your father had complained to you) and how his feet shuffled against the nice, newly polished cherry wood floors (“the scuff marks…”), bakugou was far from the epitome of a bodyguard. he couldn’t sit still and constantly made weird crackling noises (which you later learned were small explosions, not the concerningly incessant crack of his knuckles). the cherry on top to the disaster pie called bakugou, however, was his speech. he was polite, at face value, but also incredibly rough at face value. if you transcribed his words down, they’d be all standard formalities. it was the quirky way in which he presented his words; gritted out like somehow had forced him into this job. actually, scratch that, it was like this job was the be-all or end-all of his life. he was like an extremely tsundere shounen protagonist. he needed to win (“win what?” your father had laughed in disbelief) and be the very best. you'd… appreciate the sentiment more if you were his mentor in becoming a pokemon trainer.

of all the things bakugou was at the time, he was not a stoic old man nor a cold, indifferent boy who looked down on you snottily; he got the job. much to your father’s chagrin, of course. you’re pretty sure he had a backup bodyguard during the first month or so of bakugou’s employment, in case bakugou dropped out mysteriously for any reason.

surprisingly, bakugou was competent, but not infuriatingly so. he had snark, and under any other employer he would’ve been fired in the first week. he did his job, and that was all. it was fun to tick him off, too, and so easy. it was - dare you say it? - cute. you wanted to watch him fall apart and leave, as so many others had. you waited for the day he’d get used to you or vice versa, when you’d wake up with nothing to look forward to. in the end, no one ever stayed with you. you could usually figure that out within the first week of a bodyguard’s services.

these days, you started feeling that way. bakugou was just becoming everyone else you’d ever hired. he was becoming everyone else. for some reason, though, you still clasped onto the thread of hope that maybe he was different, and that led you down a series of events trying to convince yourself he was different.

at the same time, you told yourself he was like everyone else. did you want him to stay or not? you didn’t know anymore. maybe fate would spin something good out of this, or maybe he would. you didn’t want it in your hands anymore.

being flirty was definitely not the best route of plan, but man, it was efficient. what better way to fake being a couple than organically develop that relationship? that was your bullshit reasoning to the logical part of yourself (when it was obviously far from the truth).

yeah, it was definitely not the best plan. you bored of it quite quickly, but couldn’t shake off the lasting feeling of fluttering in your stomach. you supposed it was because it was the most reaction you’d gotten from bakugou in months. you’d never seen him so disgruntled.

he was very, very blushy. you didn’t know how you hadn’t learned of it earlier. his cheeks were dusted strawberry red, matching the hue on the tips of his ears. ah, tsundere bakugou had returned for a short period of time. you wished you could've taken a picture of him.

you tapped the tip of his nose and he hissed at you, cheeks darkening a shade.

“a boop?” he scoffed indignantly in disbelief. “who calls it that? a five year old?” but you could tell that he really enjoyed it on the inside.

“what- what are you playing at, dumbass?” he swatted your hand when you tried to boop him again.

“c’mon, couples need to do coupley things, katsuki,” you cooed. “like overly affectionate pda~”

you didn’t know someone could get so red.

“since when did you call me by my first name?” he grumbled, unable to form any other type of response.

“since we started ‘dating,’” you teased back, realizing that watching bakugou become more and more uncomposed was more fun than you’d expected. he'd never become so open around you; after all, you'd had a strictly professional relationship prior, so bakugou never expressed any hint of a personality other than his behavior when he was first hired. it was a good change, in your eyes.

then, as you did of most things, you bored of it. sure, flustering bakugou was fun because he was so outwardly tsundere, but your attention span was short. he was already starting to recollect himself in record time, face cooling from a startling scarlet to pink and remarks becoming increasingly cohesive.

you're not even sure if he was aware of your gaze resting upon him as you half-assed responses and watched the gears in his head furiously turn. when he got real worked up, he pouted when speaking and occasionally slurred words together. his eyes tended to veer away when he thought of a response and he always got fidgety.

eventually, you stopped teasing him. by this time, the ice in his drink had already melted and you were dangerously close to kissing him on the cheek (it was an impulse thing! you were not catching feelings!).

if there was one thing you learned, it was this: bakugou was truly a sight in his emotional state, though you could argue his unassuming state was equally, if not more breathtaking.

you noticed it as morning light illuminated him through the window of your room, hitting the silky fabric of your bedsheets around him. he was reading some book, dressed in comfortable attire that felt oddly domestic. maybe it'd be the most casual you'd ever see bakugou.

the thought struck a chord in you, making you wonder what'd happen after the dinner. it'd be awkward, for sure. it dawned on you that these moments with katsuki would vanish and things would go back to normal. they'd disappear into thin air, like nothing had ever happened. you weren't well educated in horology, but you were pretty sure that the time you'd spent with him would vanish as well, not to be spoken of or referenced ever again. time would keep trudging forward and you'd only be able to stare back as it disappeared on the horizon line.

you wanted to grasp the time that flooded your hands, encase the moment in glass and hold it in your palm forever.

"oi, idiot, what are you staring at?" and maybe it was the first time you truly heard bakugou's voice. it was rough on the edges with a soft core, you realized. maybe, after these couple of days, bakugou had started to care for you.

"nothing, stupid," you mumbled, returning your attention to your phone, but you couldn't shake off the newfound feeling that holed up in your heart. bakugou didn't care about you, you told yourself. you had a strictly professional relationship with him, and that was only broken for the time being because he needed a favour.

right. this was all for a favor.

nights spent testing each other on the most miniscule of facts and afternoons spent telling each other stories about each other - it was all nothing. it wasn't a big deal, you repeated to yourself.

still, you couldn't help but to look back up at bakugou and let your imagination run. he wore a black shirt and sweatpants, a complete 180 turn from the typical three piece suit he normally wore. maybe this is what he'd look like in the mornings if you were a proper couple, not client and bodyguard - maybe in another universe. you could imagine his bedhead, hair all messy and eyes still worn with sleep, vastly different from the professional persona he had around you. you'd wake up inhaling the scent of caramel and feeling his warmth surround you, feeling secure merely in his embrace. it'd be him and you in your own little bubble, unperturbed by the entire world.

wait, caramel? you wondered. where did that come from?

"you're staring again, dumbass," bakugou grunted, not looking up from his book.

"zoned out on the blandest thing i saw, sorry," you replied.

you sat in silence like that for a while. you weren't not exactly sure how it was bonding time for the dinner (were you sharing telepathic waves?), but it was comfortable like a fluffy comforter on a frigid winter day. it felt secure, like a home you never had in your own bedroom. every now and then there was the sound of a page turning from bakugou and a tap on your phone from you, and things never felt so normal. it was too short an eternity for you; before you knew it, you had some event to attend to for your father, solely there for the image of his company.

you didn't see the bittersweet look on bakugou's face as he watched you leave, or how he hadn't even finished a chapter of his book during the hours he'd sat with you. as his eyes followed your disappearing silhouette, bakugou wondered if he'd ever be able to see you like that again.

a foreign giddy feeling filled your chest as you got ready for the dinner with bakugou’s parents. you’d brought a bag for light travel packed with essentials (pyjamas, toothbrushes, and things like that), having planned ahead. you were typically indifferent to gatherings of any kind, having attended so many for your father. besides, this was a favor for bakugou. you weren’t sure why you were being so indecisive choosing an outfit for the dinner, or why your heart felt light as a feather, fluttering about in your rib cage boundless. this was no big deal, you told yourself. it’d only be bakugou and his parents; you’d spoken at gatherings of far more people with less nerves. you penned it down to only being excited for the food which was so coveted by bakugou. his mother, mitsuki, was apparently an outstanding cook (bakugou was apparently good as well), and you had to admit, you missed the heartening scent of homemade dishes. her specialty was spicy curry - your mouth watered at the thought.

yes, you reassured yourself as you walked out of the door and met the fresh, winter air outside, you were only in it for the food. you had an abnormally fast heart rate and a spring to your step (as noted by bakugou) solely for the food.

shizuoka prefecture was two hours away from your hometown, tokyo, and you forced bakugou to drive. the trip didn’t really feel like two hours, anyway, in your opinion. according to bakugou, that was only because you were sleeping the majority of the time and he was stuck with the dull task of driving and only the low hum of the radio to entertain him.

“well, this is it,” you said to bakugou, approaching his parents’ home, bag in hand. it looked quite elegant on the outside, snow thinly blanketing the well-kept greenery in the front. you turned to look at him. his suit looked nicer than usual, on full display because he refused to wear a coat despite the frigid air biting at any bit of bare skin unsheathed on your body. (“just the perks of having a great quirk like mine,” he’d said. you punched his shoulder.) you huddled closer into the warm padding of your coat, watching your white breath dissipate in the air.

“it is,” he belatedly said. his face was atypically solemn, eyes downcast and seemingly lost in thought. you didn’t comment on it. something about the nippy winter air numbed the atmosphere, as if all warmth had subsided only to your coat.

“do i look alright?” you asked him, trying to wipe away any last bits of drool you might’ve had on the corner of your mouth.

“yeah. you look… really nice,” he commented quietly. you didn’t mention that your bulky coat was covering the entirety of your attire. a heavy silence fell over the two of you.

anyway, the mood was quickly relieved by the presence of mitsuki bakugou, who greeted the pair of you at the door with her husband, masaru. bakugou really was a spitting image of his mother, sharing the same spiked blond hair and annoyingly clear skin with her. they also had similarly loud personalities, you observed later on. they’d often bicker with no real malicious intent. they were both much different compared to bakugou’s father, masaru, who was a gentle, soft-spoken man with brown hair and glasses.

mitsuki met you with enthusiasm, eagerly asking you questions about yourself and your relationship with bakugou. it was strange to see bakugou so quiet; though, at some points in the conversation, he looked like he was going to be sick. you didn’t have time to ask him about it, occupied by his mother’s unending but well-meaning questions. you’d expected to fib for most of them, but the truth easily slipped from your tongue. even compliments about him were half-truths.

"when we first met, he was like a fish out of water!" you recounted to mitsuki. "he stumbled on his words and my father didn't approve of him as my bodyguard. but, i pushed through, and here we are! right, katsuki?"

"r-right," he coughed, unable to look you in the eye and fidgeting nervously.

"it amazed me, too," mitsuki admitted. "i'd never seen our katsuki looking so polished before - it used to be a trouble getting him to even wake up at a decent time." she smiled at you. "you've brought a blessing on him."

bakugou cleared his throat. "don't talk about me like i'm not here," he grumbled.

"oh, katsuki," mitsuki cooed, pinching bakugou's cheek. "masaru, let's prepare dinner." she looked at you and bakugou. "the two of you don't need to worry about a thing - oh, you still have your bags! i’ll put them in katsuki’s room."

upon the absence of bakugou’s parents, the two of you sat beside each other without a word.

“are you… feeling alright?” you asked suddenly, breaking the silence. “you don’t look so well.”

“fine,” he grunted. “i’m fine.”

“are you sure?” you teased in an attempt to lighten the mood. “not nervous meeting the parents?”

he cracked a small smile, but his fingers still nudged each other in his lap. you touched his shoulder, first in an attempt to comfort him, but soon realized that he was very toasty. you scooted towards him; he stared at you with an surprised, indecipherable expression. you linked his arm with yours and leaned into him, inhaling his cologne and bathing in his warmth.

“what?” you mumbled. “you’re warm.” you intertwined his fingers with yours. “warm,” you happily cooed, eyes slipping shut.

“jesus christ,” bakugou hissed. “you’re freezing. is it humanly possible for your hands to be this cold?” his other hand enveloped your hand (still being held by his), rubbing his thumb soothingly on the heel of your palm. a bubble of warmth fizzed inside you, heart effervescing like a carbonated beverage. he held you long after your hand had passed room temperature, and you sensed that maybe the fuzzy feeling jittering about you wasn’t his quirk. it was like some sort of low fire, crackling deep within you. you hadn’t much time to dwell on the thought when your eyes jolted open, smelling really, really good food wafting from somewhere near.

“look at the lovebugs,” you heard mitsuki murmur, standing in the doorway connecting the kitchen to the living room leaning on her husband. “dinner’s ready,” she softly said upon noticing your eyes on her.

your eyes widened, looking down at the hand entwined in yours, and you look at the man next to you. bakugou was sound asleep, tranquil slumber having sheathed itself around him. his head leaned against the top of the couch, mouth slightly agape and chest falling rhythmically.

“hey,” you whispered. reluctant to let go of his hand, you used your opposite hand to tap his shoulder lightly. “hey, sleepyhead.”

bakugou groaned, eyes still closed and body unmoving. “five… more… minutes…”

“sure,” you said easier than you expected. you immediately let go of the man’s hand (he reached out toward you blindly at this) and stood up. “i’ll just eat all of that food you've been looking forward to by myself…” mitsuki and masaru looked at you fondly.

“nice try, dumbass,” he said gruffly, standing up and putting a hand on your shoulder. his eyes were lidded with torpor and his voice was an octave deeper. it sent shivers down your spine - you hadn’t ever heard his voice like that - and a part of you wanted to hear it again. sadly, the effects of sleep passed him quite quickly; by the time he’d said “let’s eat, dumbass,” and made his way to the dining room, his voice was back to normal.

dinner consisted of scrumptious-looking (and tasting!) chicken katsu, curry, and even more conversation. your mouth watered as you spooned yourself the perfect ratio of rice, curry, and chicken in one bite. you politely raved to bakugou’s mother about her heavenly cooking, and bakugou never looked so proud or embarrassed in his life. masaru discussed fashion with you, mitsuki occasionally chiming in and offering to show you pictures of young bakugou modelling. you courteously declined for the fear of bakugou’s face getting any redder than it was already.

“y’know, katsuki really wanted to be a pro-hero when he was younger,” mitsuki reminisced. “he even was accepted at that really prestigious hero school, ua.”

you looked at bakugou with questioning eyes, and he shook his head dismissively, hesitant to the topic. you wondered what he was doing here, as your bodyguard, rather than the hero he aspired to be. it wasn’t like he’d be unable to become a sidekick once out of ua, so what happened…?

at the end, you seemed to have gotten the approval of mitsuki and masaru. your heart twisted in pain realizing who you were and why you were here; this was asked of you, nothing real. you pushed the thought away, returning to the dining room after washing your hands.

“oh, my!” mitsuki exclaimed as you entered the dining room. “it’s getting late.” she turned to you. “we don’t have a guest bedroom, so you’ll have to share a room with katsuki, if that’s alright?”

you looked to bakugou, who seemed lost in his own thoughts. “sure, i don’t mind,” you replied.

“i’m sure you’d love to see bakugou’s childhood room.” this brought bakugou abruptly to his senses; his eyes rounded, face looking like a deer caught in headlights.

a smile tweaked your lips. “i’d love to.”

you didn’t know what you were expecting when mitsuki opened the door to bakugou’s room. certainly, though, you were not expecting this. his room was decorated from head to toe with all might merchandise, carefully collected through the years. it could’ve been worse, you admitted to yourself, but bakugou’s interest in all might surprised you. the level of admiration bakugou had for the former symbol of peace was clear, plastered on the wall posters and figurines which dotted his bookshelves.

“of course,” misuki said, “this is all really from his middle school days. he had to move to a dormitory system in high school, and i’m afraid he didn’t take much along with him…”

you tilted your head at bakugou, who’d taken particular interest in the ground with his hand sheepishly on the back of his neck.

“it’s cute,” you reassured him gently.

“though katsuki’s bed is pretty big, we could pull out a futon if you’d like…”

“it’s alright.” shit. why did you say that? noting the bewilderment on bakugou’s face, you added, “we are dating and all…” you mentally smacked yourself for assuming bakugou would be comfortable sleeping in the same bed as you. “yeah,” bakugou said, much to your shock.

“that settles it!” mitsuki smiled. she winked. “don’t stay up too late.”

after mitsuki and masaru bade you goodnight and closed the door behind them, you were left alone with bakugou.

“hey, is that a picture of you?” after looking around the room, your eyes fell on a framed photo sitting on bakugou’s dresser. you reached for it, recognizing a familiar spiky haired blonde boy proudly holding a trophy.

“wait-” the frame was already held in your hands.

“aw, you were such a cute kid.” you teased, “can’t say the same about now.”

he huffed, ears reddening. “there’s a photo album on the bookshelf,” he mumbled, pointing to a thick looking book on his bookshelf. you eagerly plucked it from the shelf, holding it like a precious treasure in your two hands. he shoved his hands into his pockets and rested his chin on your shoulder, watching you open the photo album.

the first photo was a baby photo, of course, and you could feel that it was taking every part of bakugou not to rip the book from your hands and scorch it all out of embarrassment. the first few pages were those of baby bakugou, eating food with his hands or playing with his parents. as the book progressed, you watched him develop a quirk (blowing up a vase) and become interested in pro-heroes (clutching an all might doll to his chest with a big smile on his face). the photos became more scarce as bakugou grew, but he seemed to grow happier. paging through photos of him in high school, the man’s gaze seemed to grow softer and fonder. his high school pictures consisted of him either standing in front of the famous ua or making an indifferent face with a group of his friends, who looked vaguely familiar from somewhere. upon further inspection, it dawned on you. you could recognize them all - they were young versions of the pro-heroes red riot, pinky, chargebolt, and cellophane. they regularly appeared on your newsfeed for one heroic deed or another, so it came no surprise to you that they attended the famed ua high.

as for bakugou, though? you couldn’t understand what he was doing there, or rather, here. if he graduated ua, he’d be right on track to become a pro-hero, not a bodyguard.

bakugou already sensed your revelation, shutting the book and putting it down. sitting on the bed, he squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“i know what you’re thinking,” he stated. he took a shaky breath. “i’m- i’m not ready to talk about it.”

“okay,” you replied. “i think… we should get some sleep. you have to drive back tomorrow.”

he snorted. “me?”

you nodded like it was a given.

the night was long, dragging in the same manner that you’d trudge through deep snow with weights on your ankles. it wasn’t that bakugou’s old bed was uncomfortable; it was surprisingly plush. you laid awake, though, as the clock ticked by and the house went silent. you felt as stiff as a wooden board, staring at the dark ceiling and thinking about everything and nothing.

your thoughts first strayed to bakugou’s childhood, and how he’d seemed the poster child for an aspiring pro-hero. how could he have given that up? he had friends, dreams, and a path open to his aspirations. yet somehow his life had deviated into this, pretending to date you for his parents’ sake.

it felt strange to lay in his bed in his parents’ house and not to really call him yours. not that you wanted to call him yours outside of this scenario. definitely not. it was just the guilt gnawing at you that impaired your proper judgement - your conscience felt pity. you pulled off a large lie to bakugou’s parents that you were dating when in reality, you’d never even gone on a proper date with the man; for all you knew, he could be a terrible person. he could have terrible dating manners and leave to the bathroom when the check comes in an attempt to force his date to pay. it was hard to imagine, but hey, you reasoned to yourself, it was a possibility.

“can’t sleep either?” bakugou’s deep voice startled you. you thought he’d fallen asleep hours ago.

“yeah,” you snorted. “and here i thought you were in the habit of always sleeping early,” you referenced his mother’s stories of him in middle and high school. you turned on your side to face the man.

“kinda hard with five different all mights staring at me,” he joked, gesturing to his plethora of all might-themed decorations.

you imitated all might’s larger than life voice. “i am here! … to watch you sleep!”

bakugou first snickered, which then transitioned into a full-blown, unrestrained (yet somewhat hushed) laugh. you couldn’t help but laugh too, watching his features crinkle and gummy smile widen. your heart felt peculiar in your chest, but you couldn’t figure out the feeling. in the years you’d known him, you’d never seen him so relaxed or open. you knew you’d miss moments like this in the morning, when you’d drive back and the deal would be over. it sent a bittersweet pang to your heart - why couldn’t moments like these last forever?

you woke up to find bakugou gone, leaving you alone in the bed with only a warm indentation next to you letting you know he’d just left. you rubbed your eyes groggily, sitting up and pushing the covers aside. you swung your legs over the edge of the bedside, standing up and making the bed once again. you padded out of the all might-furnished room to the kitchen, where you could hear quiet footsteps and the sizzling of a frying pan.

“someone’s finally awake,” bakugou’s husky voice remarked. he was standing at the stovetop, wearing an apron over his nightwear and frying eggs. sleep had worn his voice deeper; you swooned at the domestic sight before you. no, it wasn’t swooning, you told yourself. just… appreciation. you really wanted to make a comment on his muscles, bulging from his short-sleeved shirt.

“that looks really yummy,” you said, in no way whatsoever referencing his biceps and definitely referring to the egg in the pan.

“i’d like to pretend that was an innocent comment, but the direction your eyes are looking at beg to differ,” bakugou deadpanned. you looked away, flushed.

“so, whatcha making?” you said, plopping yourself on a chair.

“eggs, rice, natto, miso,” he said. “but nothing for you until you change and brush your teeth.”

you stuck your tongue out at him. “who are you, my mom?” you continued, “i used to hate natto when i was younger.”

“it’s good for you,” bakugou said, moving the egg onto a plate of steaming rice.

“you sound a lot like my mom,” you replied. “but i like natto now, just not too much of it.”

“i liked natto when i was younger,” bakugou said.

“really? all of my friends hated it. they complained about the smell.” you reminisced about your childhood days, when your biggest worry was whether you had homework or not.

“speaking of smell? your breath. go brush your teeth.”

“wh- i’m so far from you, there’s no way-”

“no hygiene, no food.”

“who even says that?” but you were already out of your chair and heading towards the bathroom.

“oh, by the way,” bakugou said as you were halfway through emptying your plate with rice in your mouth, “what do you want?”

“wha?” you said, chewing the egg-natto-rice mixture in your mouth. “what?”

“the deal,” he said. “before my parents wake up.”

“the deal-?” you racked your mind for any deal you’d made in the recent days, as you weren’t much a gambler, then it hit you. the deal. in an attempt to convince you to pretend to be his date, he’d said he’d do whatever you wanted for a day in exchange. you hadn’t thought about it at all.

“um,” you said intelligently. what did you want? you wanted to spend more time with him, but there would be no way…

“take me ice skating.” he choked on his rice.

“what?”

“i really want to ice skate…” you lied. “i’ve never been.” another lie.

“you want to go ice skating with me?”

“pay for me.” you could’ve paid for yourself. “and, you have terrible dating skills. how are you supposed to get a real partner? consider this beneficial for yourself.”

he blinked, taken aback. “...okay,” he agreed, dumbfounded. you hoped he couldn’t see through you. “when?”

“today, duh.”

by the time you finished your plate, bakugou’s parents had woken up to bid the two of you farewell. hours later, you found yourself at an outdoor ice skating rink in tokyo.

the rink was decorated festively; surrounding trees had been wrapped in golden lights and there was something in the atmosphere which bustled with cheer. those skating were either children or couples, laughing and skating together. you told yourself not to pay too much attention to them, but there was something about the way they looked so happy that made you yearn for the same.

you clumsily clomped toward the entrance of the rink itself, clad in four layers of warm clothing and worn rental skates. cold air nipped at your cheeks and your breath was a snowy white before your eyes. patting your cheeks in an attempt to half hype yourself up and half warm yourself up, you tensely stepped onto the frozen water. clunk. clunk.

“you look like an idiot,” bakugou said as you made your way onto the ice with slow clunks. he was surprisingly cocky about his skating prowess once he’d gotten his skates on, despite his lack of experience on the ice. he was unaffected by the chilly weather, wearing a thin jacket and denim jeans despite the vast majority of other skaters wearing winter coats.

“it’s cold,” you responded. slippery ice beneath your feet, you suddenly felt a great deal less confident in your ice skating abilities. it might as well have been your first time skating, in the eyes of bakugou. you took baby steps on the ice, both hands gripping the side rails while bakugou glided breezily past you.

“c’mon, idiot, loosen up~”

easy for him to say. “i’m- trying,” you gritted out, attempting to copy his fluid motions.

“hey, dumbass, take my hands.” bakugou stopped in front of you, both hands outstretched for you to hold. you looked at him warily, then accepted the offer, his hands replacing the railings.

“don’t hold them that hard,” bakugou said. “i’m not going to drop you. relax.”

you nodded, gulping as you released your death grip on his hands. starting to skate backwards (an incredible feat in your eyes), he slowly guided you along the edge of the rink. you spent most of the time staring at your own feet, trying to keep your balance and rhythm in time with bakugou’s. once you seemed to get the hang of it, he sped up ever so slightly, loosening his grip on your hands.

“just like that,” and his voice was much gentler than you’d ever heard it. you looked up to meet his soft gaze. your heart leapt and he quickly averted his eyes. “um,” he coughed awkwardly. “i think you’ve gotten the hang of it.”

“okay.” you started to let go of his hands, testing your balance skating without anything to hold onto. in small amounts at first, you start to let go, allowing your strides to become longer and longer. bakugou matched your pace beside you and eventually, the two of you fell into conversation. you’d both forgotten your own words about how this was for him to gain dating experience; it felt too real to be practice.

“the truth is, i was really, really close to becoming a pro-hero,” he confessed, “but i was injured in my third year. i had to take a break for a year or so, but by that time, i was too rusty for the job.”

“but-” you said, almost stumbling on the ice at the revelation, “didn’t you do all that training-?”

he shrugged. “it’s the reality of it,” he said dismissively, a momentary shadow crossing his face. he recomposed. “i’m over it now.”

you had the slight suspicion that his words didn’t ring quite true, but let go of it. still, you couldn’t help but think about all of his all might decor - he must have idolized the man, only to fail at his dream. his room was like a memento to everything he wanted yet couldn’t reach. “you wouldn’t have met me if you hadn’t become a bodyguard,” you said cheerily in an attempt to distract both him and yourself.

“true,” he smiled. then, almost to himself, he added, “i don’t regret that.”

the two of you skated a couple more laps around the rink. conversation faded and your feet became more and more sore after skating for so long. a chill had settled itself onto your bones as the sky tinted in anticipation of the evening to come.

“we should get going now,” bakugou said. “before it gets too cold.”

“yeah-” your phone buzzed in your pocket. “hang on, give me a second.”

it was tanaka, telling you that you had a date scheduled by your father in two hours. it took you a moment, it really did, to remember who you were and what your priorities truly lay.

you made it a point not to tell bakugou what the call was about on the way back. you told him it was about a business deal, and he pretended to buy it. the car ride was desolate, lacking all warmth despite the heater blasting. you felt guilty; why had you lied to bakugou? you and he both knew you were lying about the business deal. was it pity? why had you felt the need to protect him?

you could only amount it to the fact that maybe bakugou was becoming a friend. maybe bakugou was becoming someone you never wanted to hurt. your thoughts were the only thing you could hear over the buzz of the car’s heater. you looked to the sky with imploring eyes as if some cloud on the lavender-tinged atmosphere listened and could provide you an answer.

you weren’t sure if it was the clouds’ doing or some star hiding behind the sun’s light that washed a sense of solemness by the time you returned to meet tanaka at the gates. it was almost enough to make you forget the sad feeling you held whilst looking at bakugou one last time before stepping out of the car to greet your old butler. the feeling was unfathomable to you; in your daze on the ride back, there’d seemingly been no reason for such a feeling to linger in your heart. why had you felt so much guilt, so much sadness for this man you were supposed to be strictly on business relations with?

not that you’d done this, anyway. your business relationship with bakugou ended the minute you agreed to that favour he’d proposed, and was further broken when you ice skated together. you wondered if he felt the same as you, or if things would return to the way they had been after this date tonight. somewhere deep in you hoped it wouldn’t - hoped he wouldn’t forget it all. (“stay here,” you’d told him when you stepped out of the car. his stare was vacant; would he? you weren’t sure why you even asked.)

“tanaka,” you said stiffly. the air was frigid around you (when had the temperature dropped so suddenly?) and a breeze wrapped itself around your legs. an impulse told you to turn back, look at bakugou, and tell him the things you left unsaid - but you didn’t.

“y/n,” he nodded. it was like a wake-up call. this was who you were, truly. your father’s pawn, his company’s pawn. you were a face used for business and nothing more. you traded your feelings for your father’s wealth - that’s who you were.

yet it was the past two days that made you feel more like yourself than ever before. the time spent with bakugou, of all people, made you feel genuinely happy. he made your name feel more like yours than your father’s. it seemed it was he who could only coax this feeling out of you. you, certainly, couldn’t imagine it being anyone else. there was something unlike anything you’d experienced before which bakugou gave you. but you couldn’t let your father down, could you?

“y/n, we must go now,” tanaka urged.

you didn’t look back.

bakugou watched you leave with an inscrutable expression. as soon as you vanished from his sight, he let out a deep sigh and bashed his head on the steering wheel, then rubbed the spot of contact. that would leave a mark.

he wished he could pretend he didn’t know what your sudden meeting was about. he couldn’t. what kind of bodyguard was unaware of his client’s schedule? you were going on a date, on account of your father’s absolutely superb matchmaking skills. he wanted to strangle the bastard.

god, he was an idiot to have gotten his hopes up about you. just like countless other things in his life, you were unattainable. he was constantly in pursuit of the impossible, it felt, yet none of his endeavours’ ends had quite felt like this. it started when he was a child with a newly developed quirk. constant words of praise fluttered around his ears, all applauding his strong quirk and natural intelligence. it continued when he entered school, winning academic and athletic awards for what everyone called his talents. (he remembered looking up the definition of “talent” in a dictionary in his elementary school’s library and being sorely disappointed. no one had seen the hours he’d dedicated to practicing and studying after school - all of that couldn’t amount to what everyone else had called natural talent.)

in doing so - winning all those competitions - he’d somehow earned the approval of all those around him. it was never something he’d wanted or aimed for, but it soon started to fit him like a custom-tailored outfit. somewhere along the way, he started to seek out the approval of others, flaunting his accomplishments to do so. however, as years went by, one thing became apparent: the tactics used on his peers and teachers would never gain his parents’ approval. he so yearned for a tad of his parents’ praise or satisfaction; even an “i’m proud of you, katsuki,” from them would’ve sent katsuki to the stars and back. he never was quite sure, as a youth, how to gain this prize, so to speak. and so, for the sake of his parents, he became stronger and stronger and thus began his journey to attain the first impossibility in his life.

high school, at once, came knocking on his door in the midst of this endless journey. with it came izuku midoriya, the boy katsuki had bullied in middle school. this time, though, it was izuku who was stronger; katsuki had so wanted to atone for all that he’d done to the boy, but it proved something impossible. on the physical level, izuku had already forgiven him and moved on. it wasn’t enough for katsuki, who’d really done nothing to deserve izuku’s kindness. so katsuki set off, trying to truly deserve the boy’s forgiveness and make up for everything he’d done. in katsuki’s mind, there would be nothing he could do that would balance out the weight of his actions to izuku. hence unraveled the second impossibility katsuki set up for himself.

the third impossibility found itself in katsuki’s third year at ua academy. he was working for his parents’ approval and atonement for izuku; this impossibility, though, would send everything crumbling down. impossibles, unlike any math equations covered during his schooling, could not be cancelled out the more brought into the equation. it was perhaps katsuki’s only salvation and lifeline, his passion to become a hero. fate snatched this very possibility from katsuki’s hand, snapping the lifeline and dangling it just out of his reach. all of it was cruel - the sympathetic words spoken from recovery girl’s lips and the weeks katsuki had to sit out of hero training. even worse was how katsuki watch his grade drop from one of the top in the class to only passable in general studies, no longer sharp enough to qualify for a pro-hero. by the time he healed, he was rendered unable to rejoin the hero course. his goal was thrown away easily, becoming another impossibility.

katsuki trained himself physically for a new job. an acquaintance had introduced him to being a bodyguard, and katsuki figured that was close enough to being a hero. not that he particularly enjoyed the notion of waiting on someone’s every beck and call. but through and through his countless impossibilities and misfortunes, he had to move forward. he was tired, so tired - hearing his parents’ disappointed voices on the phone and looking up to see a billboard of the newest top pro-hero, deku. when he foolishly and naively got his hopes up about you, the logical part in him knew it was doomed. he knew that as he stared at you, illuminated by a golden light in your bedroom, it was ill-fated. you were a miracle opening up a new life to him - but miracles weren’t real.

of all the impossibilities in his life, you were the most painful. why was he cursed in such a way? where had the happiness in his life gone, if not with you as you walked away from him? he stared at his suit cuff, suffocated in the stupid attire. he should never have taken this job.

a knock. another knock. three more rapid knocks, and he finally looked up to see your eager face looking at him from the passenger side window. he hastily unlocked the car door with a click.

“finally,” your exasperated voice said to him, tinged in a happy hue that he’s confused by.

“wh-where’s tanaka?” katsuki stuttered. “your date-”

“i did it, bakugou.” you beamed at him. “i refused. i said no.”

“wha-what? you refused what?”

“the date, duh!” you laughed. you grew quiet. “i realized something. i realized that all i want is you, and it’s… it’s about time i start taking control of my life.”

katsuki cracked a smile. a real one, not painful like so many others he’d faked before. “you’re a dumbass, you know that?” and it was endearment, bringing you close to his heart.

maybe fate had decided to bless him. maybe it was all the impossibilities in his life that had cancelled each other out to give him you.

“oh, and by the way,” you said, changing the topic. “i’ve been thinking a lot about it recently. we need to have a rematch for that sorry excuse of a fight we had the other day. i will have an undisputed victory over you.”

“you’re on, moron.”

it was definitely fate that brought katsuki to you.

#bakugou x reader #bnha x reader #bnha fluff #bakugou fluff #bakugou angst

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idontmeantosoundrudebut · 4 years ago

Text

I've never really posted any of my fan art on here before so here is a collection of some of my HTTYD art haha lol

This is the first drawing I did after rewatching HTTYD 2 and I wanted to give Ruffnut a makeover so that bitch did get one! I gave her Zippleback shoulder armour things and I really think they missed an opportunity but hey, if everyone was a genius then I would be out of a job (bitch you got no job now the fuck you talking about)

Next up is a character design! As you Pagans may already know, I am abso-fucking-lutely besotted with our smol Snotlout and in my writings which are currently on hold due to my favourite seasonal festivity, um, uh Seasonal Depression :) this is Halla, Snotlout's Mother and because Hiccup and Snotlout are cousins in the majority of my AUs, she is also Valka's older sister. This idea came to me because Valka has beautiful blue eyes and well, our favourite bastard also has beautiful blue eyes. Halla is HEAVILY inspired by the Vikings character Lagatha, so she is obviously a great nearly legendary shield-maiden, and though my backstory for her isn't complete, I assume she takes little to no shit from assholes and most likely divorced Spitelout. (Because, by the Gods, he is THE Asshole™)

But he didn't always used to be an asshole. Haha lol bruh

Here we see a young Spitelout simping over a young Halla, who looks rather unimpressed at whatever bullshit he's throwing at her. Also IM simping over the young Stoick I drew because damn, I'd let him tie me up if he was looking at me like that

Um, Chile✨👁️👄👁️✨ anyways so-

Now here are my designs of the Riders parents when they were younger! I am rather poor at character designing and I am only capable at drawing heads and shoulders constantly (I ain't about no knees, toes or torsos)

So first is Siggy and Nuffnut. Now I've internally redesigned Siggy to be a complete replica of Floki from Vikings because I love him soo much and I just want to write about a character with that personality and humour. I haven't drawn her new style but I will soon, she looks too sane rn. But Nuffnut I like a lot. In all of my AU he dies when the twins are around twelvish I guess, probably in battle or something or other, which is why I think Tuffnut would lock his hair and get piercings to pay tribute to his dad.

Next on the roster is Fishback and Heidi. Fishback is like the opposite to Fishlegs besides their curiosity for knowledge and dragons, and Fishlegs gets his tenderness and all that stuff from his mother. That's really I got for these two.

Then Iric and Eira. Iric cannot cook and has a love for axes that is near obsessive, also the headband he's wearing is the one Astrid wears haha lol bruh. Eira is also a shield-maiden and Astrid is like her carbon copy, except Eira has brown eyes haha lol bruh.

And finally I did Spitelout and Halla. Really, Halla is just Berk's Baddie Bitch and Spitelout is just simp that got lucky.

I didn't do Stoick and Valka because fuck you that's why sorry I'm just really lazy bitch sack me haha lol bruh.

Now this is where you see my obsession over a certain smol man called Snotlout. Ee yikes. He's crying a lot because I am still really over Race to Fireworm island and y'all know the drill that if you have a favourite character, that bitch has got to suffer because you have to use someone to vent on bitch haha lol bruh. Theres two drawings on the same page that contradict each other where it's Spitelout being a good father at the bottom and being an abusive cunt at the top. I both am obsessed over redemption and revenge and I still can't choose which one Spitelout deserves. (Bitch probably revenge but okay)

Also for all the goes out there I did do some Eretlout because that shit is slept on. Hope you like haha lol bruh. Snotlout does give me bratty bottom vibes and is definitely a touch-starved bitch. Eret is also HENCH and Jesus, imagine that voice in the bedroom like oh lord im a boutta bust! Smol touch-starved bitch and Tol British-boi hunk. Proper nice proper bargain

I also gave RTTE Snotlout a redesign. Gave him scars, an emo-fringe and a little pony-tail thing. Haha lol Bruh

My favourite two are definitely Snotlout enjoying a nice flight with hiccup and toothless in back ground. And of course, the angriest picture I've ever drawn- SHEESH boo you mad! Betta be yo daddy you screaming at and I ain't talking about Eret. 👁️👄👁️

And there it is, my shitty fan art page haha lol bruh bye

#how to train your dragon #httyd rtte #httyd fanart #Snotlout #Oc #fanart

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ourloveisforthelovely · 4 years ago

Text

Fresh Start 4

Harry Potter AU

Link to Chapter 3

Pairings: Sirius Black x Reader

Rating: M

______

The following month a half passed without much excitement. Things seemed to be slowly calming down from all of the “pregnancy discovery” news. Molly had made it her personal mission to make sure that she was always available for last-minute babysitting. She knew that you were miserable with morning sickness the morning after you announced that you were expecting. Molly seemed to show up just when you needed her the most!

This morning, in particular, was the first that you felt halfway decent in a while. It was nice waking up and not having to rush to the bathroom. You lay in bed enjoying the warm bedding while listening to the sounds of Sirius and Remus arguing over how to fix Sirius' motorcycle. It took all you had to not go out into the garden and watch the argument at hand. The moment that Remus told Sirius it was time to hang up the whole bad boy vibe and invest in a muggle car colored a lovely shade of beige. You almost lost it. You wished that you could have seen the expression on Sirius' face at that moment.

You smiled when Harry rolled over and looked at you with a sleepy grin. It still made your heartache at just how much he looked like James! Sometimes, if even for a brief moment, you could imagine that your brother was still alive again.

“Mama!”

Harry squealed, happily. You looked down sadly. Harry had been calling Sirius and yourself “mama” and “dada” for a few weeks. Neither of you had the heart to correct him. The poor boy was too young to understand anyway. Harry would understand in time. He would know how wonderful his mother and father were. If the two of you could be remotely the parents that James and Lily were...you would be thrilled.

“Not sleepy anymore?”

You asked, pulling yourself from your thoughts as Harry giggled. Sirius had put the boy into bed between the two of you the previous night when Harry decided it was time to wake at four am. The two of you were trying to keep Harry in his own room at night but it wasn't working.

“No.”

Harry squealed as you stood up. You quickly dressed before picking the boy up and heading downstairs.

“I think someone is ready for food.”

Harry nodded eagerly and pointed to his mouth.

(Meanwhile)

Remus sat watching Sirius' eyes as he tried to figure out what was going on with his bike.

“You know, there are muggles who fix these sort of things.”

Sirius looked up with an annoyed scowl.

“And let someone else touch her? I think not.”

Remus grinned. That was just the reply that he was looking for. Over the past few weeks, Sirius had been a bit “tense.” Remus was no fool as to why either.

“How is Y/n feeling?”

Sirius leaned back.

“The past two days have been better. She isn't spending all morning throwing up. That has been nice. I think she is a bit tired of me asking if she wants some water. Lucky for us, Molly Weasley turns up like some kind of fairy godmother with stuff to make Y/n feel better and less...mean.”

Remus started laughing.

“She isn't mean.”

Sirius nodded.

“Well, she isn't blaming you for knocking her up. I think this week alone she has told me this is all my fault at least 6 times before she starts crying on me. I just stand there blinking like an idiot.”

Remus had seen you burst into tears a few times of trivial things and had handled it like a champ. That was just Remus Lupin though. He always was able to handle emotional people. He had a feeling that he was about to be needed to handle his emotional friend very soon!

“Don't worry, Sirius. You'll have your normal wife back in 28 weeks.”

Sirius' mouth dropped.

“28 weeks? I have to wait that long?

Remus had to fight back his laughter at the lost and almost desperate expression on Sirius' face.

“It won't seem that long. Do you know what you want yet? Boy or girl?”

Sirius shook his head.

“I don't care. As long as Y/n and the baby are healthy...that is all that I care about.”

“You know if the baby is a girl then you will have to deal with teenage boys one day. I don't think that you will have to think too hard on how we were as teenage boys...”

Sirius' whole face went pale and his eyes widened as he dropped the tool that he was holding. He thought about how awful he was and winced!

“Oh hell!”

Sirius wasn't sure what Remus was talking about. Remus was fine as a teenage boy! He was that perfect boy that every man hoped his daughter would drag home. Sirius on the other hand...well...he was lucky that Fleamont Potter even let him within 12 feet of you!

“This kind of makes me wish that Mr. Potter was alive so I could call him and apologize for having sex with his daughter. All I can say is bless that poor boy that turns up on my doorstep.”

Remus leaned back in his chair with a smile. It was clearly evident that Sirius hadn't even thought about this yet. Remus already felt sorry for the poor baby already if it was a girl. Between Sirius and having a werewolf for a godfather, the poor thing didn't stand a chance in the dating world!

“Lucky for you that is still many years away.”

Sirius rolled his eyes and tried to get back to what he was doing.

“Too soon for my liking.”

He muttered.

(meanwhile)

You stood in the kitchen as Harry eagerly shoved baby oatmeal in his mouth. He eagerly offered you a banana several times. The sound of the doorbell ringing quickly pulled you from your thoughts. You didn't expect any visitors that morning. Opening the door, you froze seeing none other than Walburga Black on the other side. You stood looking at her for a few moments as if making sure your mind wasn't playing games on you.

“Excuse me, are you lost?”

You asked after a few quiet moments. Walburga didn't smile nor did she show any emotion.

“No, I know exactly where I am Y/n Potter.”

You frowned, feeling a cold chill come over you. For years you had dreamed of punching this woman in the face!

“Y/n Black. You do know whose house this is,yeah?”

Walburga blinked a few times when you corrected her. Regulus didn’t tell her about that detail.

“To the same man whose name you have now.”

You had to bite your tongue and repeat I’m a better person over and over in your mind.

“You're perceptive. So, what did we do to win the pleasure of your company?”

It still amazed you how a person could be totally sarcastic to Walburga and it went right over her head! Maybe the lady had no idea what sarcasm was?

“Are you going to invite me in? We are letting flies inside.”

You blinked. The last thing that you really wanted to happen was for Sirius to see his mother. It seemed, however, that you really had no choice. It was probably best to go ahead and get this over with.

“Won't you come…”

“I would love to.”

Walburga interrupted before walking right past you.

“Merlin, I am going to set this bitch on fire.”

You followed Walburga into the kitchen as she sat down at the table. Her cold eyes immediately went to Harry.

“It appears that you were further along than what Regulus believed. This child, however, looks nothing like my son.”

You snorted.

“Well, because he isn’t.”

Walburga’s mouth dropped. Has she heard your corrections? Were you out screwing around on Sirius? Walburga wasn’t surprised. This was just another example as to why you weren’t good enough!

“Excuse me?”

You wanted to laugh at the expression on her haughty face.

“This is my nephew, Harry. We have custody of him. I, however, am pregnant...if you can’t tell.”

Walburga looked relieved as she looked at the slight curve of your stomach.

“I see. I guess it was a bit too difficult for the two of you to inform Orion and myself.”

You frowned.

“Why would it matter to the lot of you? As I remember you disowned your son and my parents took him in.”

“This is our first grandchild.”

You stood to start washing dishes before you hexed the woman.

“He or she will not be practicing dark arts. Sirius has already said no to all of that rubbish.”

You quickly started washing a plate so hard the poor thing snapped. Walburga, meanwhile, sat watching you with a glare.

“What are you doing?”

“When I’m not busy being a wonderful wife I like to fulfill my duties as a domestic goddess.”

Walburga raised an eyebrow.

“Is Sirius too cheap to buy you an elf for these menial chores?”

You put the broken plate down before you threw it. Just who the hell did this woman think she was? You were ready to turn around and start yelling. The sensible side of your brain told you to stop.

“She can’t help it. She’s rich and doesn’t know any better.”

The other side of your brain, however, said.

“Time to smack the bitch!”

“No, he isn’t! I just like to use this handy dandy sponge and the cleaner I made. It takes real skill!”

The sound of the garden door shutting pulled you from your thoughts. You could recognize Sirius’ steps from anywhere. This was about to get ugly!

“Excuse me.”

You said before stepping out of the room. Sirius looked up at you with a playful smirk that said he had one thing on his mind. Before you could say anything, he had you against the wall. You sighed as his mouth closed on your neck. He was going to leave another love bite for his mother to look at.

“Is Harry asleep?”

You shook your head.

“Where’s Remus?”

Sirius chuckled.

“Outside trying to prove me wrong that he's the better mechanic. If you feel up to it, we have time for a quickie.”

As lovely as the idea sounded, you didn’t want Walburga sitting on the other side of the wall listening to the two of you screw each other.

“That sounds lovely but we have a problem.”

Sirius didn’t look up right away.

“Morning sickness?”

You swallowed.

“Hardley. Your mum is here.”

Sirius laughed. That was hilarious! He wasn’t for sure what kind of joke that was but it wasn’t funny.

“I’m not kidding, Sirius! She’s in the kitchen.”

Sirius stood up straight. The happy smile had vanished. Now he reminded you of the boy that you saw every school year at the end of the term. He was the boy that didn't want to go home and was sick the whole time.

“What the hell is she doing here?”

You shrugged.

“She heard about our happy news.”

Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Fucking beautiful.”

He gently let you go before turning and walking into the kitchen. Sure enough, his mother sat at the table looking around with a scowl on her face. Her cold eyes narrowed on him.

“Well, there you are. Your wife is...pleasant.”

Sirius didn’t smile. In fact, he wanted to show zero emotion to anything that Walburga had to say. Maybe if he acted like a robot, she would leave and never return. The past four years without his mum in his life had been wonderful!

“Yeah, she is. What are you doing here?”

Walburga raised an eyebrow.

“No, it's good to see you mum?”

Sirius shook his head.

“No. You haven’t been my mum in four years. Don’t you remember? You kicked me out of the family. I never got to thank you for it. These past four years without the cult has been lovely.”

Sirius was thrilled when Walburga’s cocky smile faded. She quickly resembled the horrible woman who made his life a living hell.

“I don’t think this is a laughing matter, Sirius. I heard that Y/n was pregnant. With this being my first grandchild…”

Sirius held a hand up.

“Hold on! You aren’t allowed around my child.”

“Excuse me?”

Walburga snapped. You, meanwhile, stood watching the two trying to decide who you could drag out.

As if by a prayer, Remus walked in. He froze, staring at the unfolding scene. This was the last thing that Remus ever expected to see! He quickly looked at you, silently assessing if you needed him to step in.

“You heard me. None of you will ever see the kid. I forbid it! Furthermore, how the hell did you find out?”

Walburga shrugged in a little sassier than needed.

“Your brother.”

Sirius glanced at you before looking back at his mother.

“Well, the two of you can just take your so-called good feelings and shove them up your ass. Just get out of here and haunt someone else.”

“Sirius.”

He looked to Remus, who was motioning him forward. Sirius didn’t wait for Walburga to make a comment before turning and storming up the stairs.

You had walked into the kitchen to pick up Harry when the hard rock music started blaring. It took all you had not to smirk. Sirius hadn’t forgotten how to get under his mother’s skin and he wasn’t about to let this moment pass. You slowly turned to your mother in law.

“It's been so kind of you to visit.”

Walburga stormed out of the house in a huff. Remus, meanwhile, walked over.

“I’ll take Harry. You go deal with him.”

You took a breath before walking up the stairs and into your bedroom. Sirius sat on the window seat and was glaring outside. You walked over and wrapped your arms around him from behind.

“Sweetheart…”

“How did Regulus know?”

Sirius asked, coldly. You tensed against him.

“I ran into him before you came home from that job...he kinda….”

Sirius quickly cut you off. “Wait a minute! You told him that you were pregnant before you fucking told me...the father of the kid?”

Sirius quickly stood up; almost tripping you in the process.

“Sirius, he kinda figured it out. I almost threw up on his fancy shoes.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. This was the last thing that he wanted to think about. Regulus could have easily hurt you. Granted, you could have easily hurt him too. It would have been a touch more difficult with Harry in one arm.

“He’s a git.”

You suddenly remembered the awkward conversation with Regulus.

“Somethings going on with him, Sirius.”

“He’s an idiot.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Not what I meant. He seemed off. He was making weird comments about how nothing either side does will make matters...it was just weird. He wasn't death eater Regulus. I wonder if he pissed someone off and is in danger.”

Sirius shrugged, seeming to not care less.

“Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes.”

Sirius didn’t meet your annoyed gaze.

“You don’t care about your little brother at all?”

Sirius shook his head.

“I’m not in that family anymore, remember? So why are you just now telling me about this?”

“Maybe I forgot, you know, with this whole being pregnant, taking care of Harry, and playing new wife thing?”

Sirius sighed.

“I’m sorry...look I’m going out for a bit.”

The last time that he said this, Sirius came home wasted with a bunch of women’s phone numbers shoved in his pockets. Sirius seemed to pick up on your thoughts. He quickly walked over and tilted your face to his.

Sirius felt beyond guilty at the moment. He didn’t mean to make you feel this way again.

“I’m not that guy anymore. I’m taking Remus with me. I just need some time to process this day”

You nodded and went to sit down on the bed. Sirius stood looking at you obviously feeling guilty.

“I can stay, love.”

You shook your head.

“Just go. I need to get Harry down for a nap anyway.”

_____

@cardboardbenmazzello

@brokencasbutt67-writer

@authoressskr

@fandom-trash-worth-it

@hankypranky

@summer-novak

@shaylybaby2032

@emiwrites3reads

@untoldshortsofthefandoms

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@mycuddlycorner

@marichromatic

@maggiolim

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts

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@li0nh34rt

@knight-of-gleefulness

#Harry Potter #Harry Potter AU #Sirius Black #Sirius Black x Reader #Reader x Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #James Potter #Lily Evans #regulus black #walburga black #orion black #Ben Barnes as Sirius Black #harry potter fan fiction #molly weasley #Fresh Start #Fresh Start update

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b-rainlet · 4 years ago

Note

That bitch Ecco

*insert John Mulaney’s ‘She’s a bitch and I love her so much!’ here*

Why I like Them/Why I don’t

Her introduction is her punching Jerome in the face, how can someone not love her, omg.

I mean, we know nothing about her which maybe makes it harder to relate to her but I just think it makes her more intriguing. Like, what about her parents? Her Father apparently left when she was little, but what about her Mum?? When did she meet Jeremiah? Why the fuck did she pledge her life to him? Please, she’s a badass, why is she hanging around with him???

(Also where the fuck did she learn to fight, did she teach herself? Was she doing some kind of martial arts? Was she trained as a spy or something?? What is her past?????)

And then we have her going from a proxy to being Harley and like....once again, there’s no explanation as to why. I just enjoy thinking scenarios for her, wondering why she turned out the way she did and I am going through her tag daily, looking for some Ecco centric stuff - or even Eccomiah stuff that focuses on her a little (but she’s part of the female characters who get sidelined for Wayleska, just like Selina, which...I ship too! It’s nice! But sometimes I wanna have her tagged in a fic where she actually has a role aside from being mentioned once).

(Also I am a hypocrite and I hate when Selina is being pushed aside or forgotten when other Bruce ships come to play but I have some Selina/Jeremiah wips where I’m like ‘Bruce who????’ ahkdhaskjd, sue me for loving girls).

Also, Ecco is simply adorable and I saw her shake her head to rattle the bullet inside it and was like: Baby

(If Jeremiah won’t treat her right, I definitely will).

Favourite Episode/Favourite Season

She has so little episodes where she features, but she’s a delight in every scene she features in.

Favourite Season would probably be Season 5 because she has a bigger portion of screentime there and she’s Harley instead of Proxy or Mummer and while both of those personas are awesome (and fear-inducing), she’s a lot of fun crazy and unhinged.

Favourite Episode is Ace Chemicals, I’d say. Not that she has a big role in it (that would probably the scene where she fights Selina) but she’s interacting with Jervis there and that scene not only is my header but also made me ship them (and caters to my bisexuality alsjsadnln).

Also I have a fanfic in the works based on that scene because you cannot tell me that Jervis isn’t all heart-eyes over her.

(In my heart, every single villain adores Ecco and hates Jeremiah and they put up with him for her - but they’re all just quietly waiting for her to leave him lmao, they got the chocolate and roses ready, just in case).

Favourite Line

The only Ecco lines I have in my head are ‘Our cover is blownski’ and ‘She got me, Daddy’ and the last one made me fucking nauseous to listen to within the circumstances (I mean, deep fry Jeremiah? Really? No.) so I don’t have a favourite line I think.

But she also doesn’t talk much ashkhks, she either doesn’t talk at all as the mummer or let’s Jeremiah monologue.

(She’s probably more of a ‘Do it’ instead of talking about it girl and I stan her).

Favourite Outfit

ALL OF THEM

They’re all beautiful, props to the costume department

(also sorry you can't see them well, I used gifs from old edits that where still on my phone)

OTP

You would think it’s Eccomiah - and I do love them a lot - but I would give an arm and a leg for some Ecco/Jervis or Ecco/Selina content.

(Also Ecco/Bruce could be adorable and fucking hilarious at the same time, I love them).

Ecco is very much shippable with everyone and I’d read anything about her (pls I’m desperate).

(Also she deserves to be treated like a queen by someone to make up for the awful way Miah treats her in canon, so am I gleefully imagining scenarios of her leaving him and finding someone who treats her right while he’s cursing everything and feels miserable? Maybe).

Brotp

All the girls! Like Ecco and Ivy and Bridgit having meetups where Ivy and Bridgit keep telling her to dump her trash boyfriend askhjafbska

(But tbh, I can see every duo I’ve listed as an OTP as a Brotp too and vice versa. I mean...., you should like your spouse as a friend too askdkjdbkb).

Idk why, but I can’t really warm up to Ivy/Ecco (which is basically Harley/Ivy), but maybe that’s precisely because it would be like Harley/Ivy and I’m not really a fan of those two.

(I also have to admit that I enjoy Ecco a lot more than Margot Robbie’s version of Harley Quinn).

Headcanon

Umm...idk? I kinda thought about her being russian? But I think that’s quite a popular thought, I saw some people mention it before!

My headcanons usually change to adapt the current au I am thinking about but a hc I keep in most of them is that Ecco was pretty straight to the point before she became Harley and that she isn’t one for social cues. She’s blunt.

(Which for me mostly means that Jeremiah pre-spray tried to flirt with her and she just. Didn’t respond to any of it. Not because she isn’t interested but because she doesn’t think much about Miah offering her things like sleeping in the guest bedroom. Makes sense, he works late and she’s within reach in case he needs anything, while he overthinks everything and basically offered her to move in with him lmao).

Unpopular Opionion

Idk if that’s unpopular but she’s a really good Harley Quinn version (I think all their villain versions are very good? Like, they also have the best joker version(s), Gotham knows how to entertain me).

A wish

Please, whoever’s in charge, drop what the writers would’ve done with her if Gotham wouldn’t have been cancelled, I am curious.

Was she meant to die and be replaced at one point to show how Miah is actually looking for the ‘finished’ Harley version, like it’s alluded to in the finale? If she’s not his forever companion, would she have betrayed him at some point? Or if she is supposed to be Harley, would she have teamed up with Ivy at some point?

Would we have gotten more scenes of her interacting with other villains? Would we have seen a bit more of her past or maybe a flashback scene of the shooting?

(I don’t think so, they probably would’ve kept her an insignificant side character but an enby can dream).

Also, if I’m already wishing, someone release the cut scenes involving her.

An oh-god-please-don’t-ever-happen

Finale? Which Finale? Gotham ends with Bruce leaving and nothing happens after that :)

5 words to best describe them

I’ll give you four ;)

Endearing

Cuckoo

Consecrated (to sth.)

Overlooked

My nickname for them

WIFEY

#Ecco

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bluejaytaco · 4 years ago

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Shit, it’s more DND w/ Jay!

(So, things were once again a little retconned. Our DM had been drinking the session before and forgot to mention one detail to us. That being that Ticket Master was there the whole time. He also, apparently, told us he wouldn’t be able to send us back because, so long as Task Master was in existence, he only has half of his power.

He can teleport himself no problem, he just can’t bring anyone else. So, now our mission is to take out Task Master in order to return home. We also have to take down Nerve (The corrupted AI) because it’s been corrupted by Ticket Master’s power.

But, for the moment, we had to focus on Eltbalm and the old man he was holding up, screaming at.)

Art: Uh, hey, how about we don’t kill the old man?

Eltbalm: (sees them and drops Art’s father, who’s okay just a little shaken up. He storms up to Art.) You! You’re responsible! Tell me what the fuck is going on here? Where is Red?!

Reita: (waking up to the tension and seeing Eltbalm in her brother’s face. She bites down on his arm.)

Eltbalm: (shakes her off and turns to punch her. He misses as she ducks out of the way.)

Art: (gets punched in the face by the dragonborn paladin. Takes 7 damage.)

Ticket Master: (watching this all go down) Wow.... you all did very little to stop that from happening!

Art: (snapping around to his teammates and cradling his face) Yeah! Thanks for the help, guys!

(Wreybar just kinda shrugged it off. She’s a little insane right now. But it does get Koejin to jump in and help.)

Koejin: (Notches an arrow and points it at Eltbalm) How about you calm the fuck down?

Eltbalm: (Sees this and glares at Koejin) You’re gonna shoot me? Do it!

Koejin: (Does just that)

(The arrow finds a home in Eltbalm’s breastplate. He pulls it off and snaps the arrow in half. Koejin finds this to be extremely hot as he pushes passed everyone and storms out.)

Ticket Master: Well, now that that’s handled, I can tell you about the other universe. Everyone sends their regards! Hennessy says (can’t remember for the life of me, I was drinking...), Alabaster says “I’m fine.” With a period. He wanted you to know it ended in a period. And Theodora says “Koejin, I will find you.” Would you like to say anything to them?

(We all think about what we’re going to say. Wreybar went first as Ticket Master pulled out a typewriter and put on glasses, kind of in the same fashion as The Mask.)

Wreybar: I say “Get money. Make bitches. Leave the fuckin haters.”

(Ticket Master reads it back to her so that he knows what he’s saying. We all laugh about it. Koejin wanted to go last so it was Art’s turn.)

Art: I don’t know, Wreybar kinda covered everything. (Koejin: Yeah, like, is there anything more to say here? lol)... I guess just... Sorry for running ahead without making sure you were following. We’ll find our way back.

Ticket Master: Alright. So! “sorry for running ahead without checking with you. I’m stupid. We’ll find our way back.”

Art:.... Did I do something to upset you?

Ticket Master: (now ignoring Art) Koejin?

Koejin: I wanna say to Theodora “Not if I find you first! Bleeeehhh!” (sticks out her tongue as airhorns sound. Watches Ticket Master write for a moment) I’m gonna need you to read that back to me.

Ticket Master: Okay. “Not if I find your first. Bleh, blah, brer bo.”

Koejin: I don’t know where that last part came from.

Ticket Master: (puts away the typewriter and glasses) So, I will send out these messages and return soon. By the way, your friends are in a jail cell with Mrs. Red at this moment. Farewell! (backs into the darkness and now he’s gone, leaving us stunned at this new bit of information.)

Koejin:.....I’m sure they’re fine....

Art: (checks on the two tieflings who just witnessed all of this.)

(Reita’s seen some shit so this is just another Tuesday for her. Art’s father, however, is clearly shaken and confused.)

Art:... so...uh.... remember the “Tentacle Monster” portion of the story? That was him.

Art’s Father: (throws up in his mouth a bit)

((Koejin’s player: Oh yeah, I forgot Art told him everything. DM being all “so you tell him everything? Okay, that includes the freaky tentacle sex!”

Me: Yeah, I just kind of imagine the conversation going like “then the two of us teleported away so I could get railed.”))

(We spend a while trying to figure out what to do next. Because the Ticket/Task information is new, we focused on that maybe a little too hard.)

Art: So, if we kill Task Master, Ticket Master gets all his power back and we can go home.

Haida: (someone else who’s been there pretty much the whole time) Okay, so how are you going to get him?

Koejin:... Will he still show up if I lie?

Art: Try lying.

Koejin: Okay. Art, You’re very talented and I really appreciate your company.

Task Master: (pops into existence with his signature groan)

Art: (looks at Task Master then back to Koejin) That’s hurtful....

(Koejin takes the lead here. She starts talking about how it would be really nice if Task Master could just die. He offers to drink some poison at which point Vincent pulls out battery acid and hands it to the god. Of course, drinking it does nothing.

In the end, Task Master simply disappears and we have to rethink things.)

Art: Guys, we were at full power and couldn’t take out a dragon. We’re not gonna be able to take out a god like this.

Koejin: Then we just need to get stronger! I’m gonna get swol!

(Cue Rocky Montage! It goes on for long enough for Art and Wreybar to have a long rest. By the end of it, Koejin goes again to summon Task Master by complimenting Wreybar’s mental stability.

Nothing happens.)

Koejin: Okay... maybe deep down, I believed it? Uhm... (Turns to Art’s father) You have a really nice place here!

(Again, nothing happens)

Art’s father: Thank you!

Koejin:.... Art, you’re very talented.

(Nothing happens.)

Art: Guess he’s not coming back.

Koejin: Wait! One more! .... I hate alcohol (pause. Still nothing.)

Wreybar: Yeah, he ain’t coming back.

(We think about it for a moment when I suggest using Spaghetti Kid, a tool we haven’t used in a while. (He’s a jinn that Art befriended and is meant to act as a guide whenever we’re stuck. He’s summoned whenever Art eats a bit of “spaghetti” from a jar he carries around.) Koejin’s player laughs and says “oh, yeah. Remember when that was the weirdest thing about this campaign?”

The DM also asked “are you sure?” For anyone who plays DND, you know that’s never really a good ask.)

Art: (eats some spaghetti)

(After eating it, Spaghetti Kid begins to materialize and looks at us. After a moment, he says “H-” and then starts to scream in agony as he melts away and dies.)

Art:... (Watches this in horror) I’m sorry!!(Rolls high on Arcana and learns that it’s because he doesn’t belong in this reality. Also, because it was such a high roll, Art realizes everyone that actually belongs here is also back. Despite not going through the portal.)

(Haida’s the one who makes the focus obvious. We need to find Nerve to redistribute the Ticket Master power it’s carrying. Nerve’s place of opperations is the spire that, in our timeline, belonged to General Green. (It also happens to be where Ticket Master seduced Art.) So, we go with her to the front gate only to see thousands of blob monsters swarming in. She screams “shit!” and runs back to the house.

We all follow. Koejin’s throwing her hands in the air and sighing at the whole ordeal.)

Art’s Father: (in the house, opening a hatch that leads into a basement) We’ll be safe in here!

Art:... Basement hatch...

Art’s Father: Yes, clearly this isn’t the first time this has happened!

(Meanwhile, Wreybar rolls high enough on perception to notice Reita staring out the window and salivating over the sea of black ooze right outside the house. She looks at Wreybar and they both have a similar thought.)

Wreybar:...black pudding.

Reita: (smiles and holds out her hand for Wreybar to come with her.)

Koejin and Art: (Preparing to go into the bunker only to see two of their companions missing)

Wreybar and Reita: (already out in the sea of black ooze. Reita is shovelling it in her mouth.)

Art: (Dives for Reita through the window) Reita, get back here! And don’t eat that! (drags her back through the window.)

Koejin: (walks out the front door which lets the ooze into the house, but walks through it to get to Wreybar.)

(once the two more sane members of the party drag down the insane ones, the hatch is closed and they’re all safe.)

Reita: (pouting because she was stopped from eating the black pudding.) Hungry...

Koejin and Wreybar: (start feeding Reita their rations)

Reita: (After devouring them, she hugs Wreybar. She and Wreybar are now besties because they dove into the “black pudding” together. She’s also more comfortable with Koejin considering Koejin fed her.)

(The area below is dark, which leaves Koejin blind to it. But there is furniture and things pushed up against a corridor. Vincent explains that the corridor leads all over Acentria as an underground system, but only Eltbalm knows how to go through it.)

Koejin: I could probably navigate it.

Art: You can’t see.

Koejin: But you guys can!

Art: And you’re gonna take everything we say at face value and absolute truth?

Wreybar: Yeah!

Koejin: Okay, well, the way I see it we have three options; wait here and die, go out there and look for Eltbalm, or figure out the path on our own.

Art: Or we can have Eltbalm come to us.

Koejin: How?

Art: I can send a message.

Koejin:....why didn’t you do that earlier?!

Art: Because.... as we’ve already established.... I’m a fucking idiot!

((Koejin’s player: We’re not just the chaos group; we’re the dumbass group! Chaotic Dumbass!))

(Art asks what he’s sending to Eltbalm. Koejin then says something along the lines off “Hey, you wanna see Koejin’s nudes? Come and find them!”)

Art:.... (Gives Koejin a thumbs up but sends something completely different) If you want to see��“her” again and possibly save this world, come back to the house.

Eltbalm: ...You better not be lying.

(We have some time to spare so we get to know our companions a bit. Art asks Haida about what the other Generals did and gets an earful about how they “protected the people of the city” but were really just arresting anyone who stepped out of line. Including Haida. She eventually fled the city and ended up dying. That’s when Ticket Master found her and offered to either keep her alive or let her die and reincarnate.)

Art:... and you chose life.

Haida: Well, yeah. It’s the better way.

Art:.... is it? You could have just reincarnated and been okay.

Haida: yeah, and be useless for a thousand years!

Art: A thousand ye- how old are you?!

Haida: Ugh, don’t you know anything about the gods?

Art: Considering the “gods” I’m closest with are a narcissistic dragon and a very horny tentacle monster, no. I don’t.

(Haida then explains that reincarnation isn’t instant. It would take time to be of any help because gods don’t exist in a place where time is necessary.)

Haida: Is there anything else you’d like to know, Oh Great One?

Art:... there is never going to be a version of you that likes me, is there?

Haida: (seems thrown off by this) I don’t know...

Koejin: To be fair... no one likes you.

Art:... Thanks, Koejin. That’s helpful.

Art’s Father: I like you.

Art:... Thanks, Dad.

Reita: (waves her hands around frantically as a way of going “I like you!”)

Art: Love you too, Reita.

Vincent: I... don’t really know you so I guess I’m kinda indifferent.

Art: It’s a better relationship than the other timeline.

(No one else really has anything to say so we wait until there’s banging at the hatch. Koejin calls up to see who it is, but the banging just continues. Eventually, she cracks it and sees someone slashing at the ooze. When she opens it, she’s pushed in and falls as something runs through the bunker.

Art can see it’s this universe’s Reita. She is torn apart and looks like she’s seen better days. He goes to follow her down the corridor but is ultimately stopped by his Reita, who grips him by the arm and frantically shakes her head.)

Art: I just want to go check on her. I’m not going far.

Reita: (still not letting go and shaking her head)

Art: Reita, it’s okay! Just let me... (still struggling to get out of her grip. When she doesn’t let up he frowns at her) What’s wrong? Why won’t you let me go?

Reita: (Trying to speak) ....you....f-ear....

Art: (trying to piece it together) I mean, maybe a little... but that can’t stop me from going.

Reita: (clearly frustrated by her lack of being able to communicate)

Art: (Seeing this and knowing getting free is useless right now) okay.... It’s okay.

Koejin: (Tries to go only to be stopped as well)

(We fight with Reita over this for a moment before there’s some more knocking at this hatch, this time with Eltbalm’s voice demanding to be let in.)

Art: (looks at Koejin) Your boyfriend’s here.

Koejin: (looks at Reita) can I go open the hatch for him)

(Reita agrees to let go so that Eltbalm can be let in. He jumps in and brushes off some of the remaining ooze in a fashion that makes Koejin swoon. But it’s also clear he’s horribly depressed. Eltbalm is then filled in on the situation and makes it clear he doesn’t really care about the state of the world. But he does want his wife back. Using Ticket Master’s powers.)

Art:... I don’t know if that’s the best idea. She could come back different. She might not even be your wife anymore...

Koejin: Yeah, I mean, Look at Art’s hand!

Eltbalm: I don’t care. I just want her back; In any form. You told me you could do it and I will go to the ends of the worlds to get her back.

Art: ....I can appreciate that. (Thinks for a second then nods) okay. You help us, we’ll do what we can to bring her back.

((DM: Is he being genuine?

Me: Yeah. Completely))

(After saying this, Eltbalm agrees to help. He goes to lead us through.

Then Reita grabs him and stops him from going. He tries to muscle through but Reita has a very tight grip on him and is holding him by the back.)

Eltbalm: ...this isn’t going to work if she keeps doing this.

Art: (now trying to persuade her) Reita, we have to keep moving forward if we want to get home. I know you’re scared. But we can’t just stay here.

Reita: (listens to Art and relucantly lets go of Eltbalm and moves back over to Art.)

(He gives her a hug and she returns to practically clinging to him without stopping him from moving.)

( We start to head down the corridor with Reita at our side as well. Art’s father, Vincent, and Haida all stay behind. As he’s reminded that Koejin doesn’t have dark vision like the rest of us, Eltbalm lights a torch which also makes Koejin swoon a bit. But, she can see that his scales don’t have the same luster and, despite being a white dragonborn, he somehow looks paler.)

Koejin: Hey, Art? You have some sort of spell that can help out Eltbalm and make him feel better? Maybe Calm Emotions?

Art: Yeah, I can do that.

(The caverns fill with a calming melody for a while as we begin out journey. We walk for a very long time through the trail, following Eltbalm. As we continue to walk and find we can’t even really tell where we are anymore. We see a light flickering up ahead.)

Koejin: (carefully notches an arrow as she walks up to investigate this.)

(She finds a fairy who looks at her in confusion.)

Fairy: oh! Hello. Are you friendly?

Koejin: I mean, personality-wise, no. But I don’t mean you any harm. What’re you doing down here?

Fairy: Living... (she looks around as the rest of the party walks up) there sure are a lot of you... What are you doing down here?

Koejin: Well, we’re looking to get to the desert.

Fairy: The desert? Oh, I know a shortcut!

(Koejin rolled to find out if she was really a fairy. It was a low roll but the DM said “yeah, she seems pretty real.” But she does remember that fairies went extinct thousands of years ago during the Great War.

Art and Koejin switch places as Koejin goes to talk to Eltbalm.)

Art: Soooo.... where you from?

Fairy: Here.

Art: And you’ve just been hiding down here?

Fairy: Yes, from the different mechanical creatures that come and try and eat us.

Art: Is one of them.... a giant hawk?

Fairy: Oh no. Nerve is far too big to make it down here!

Art:... how do you know about Nerve then?

Fairy: Oh, I read about it.

(We talk about how cute it is the idea of a fairy attempting to read a normal sized book.

But while Art is talking to the fairy, Koejin and Eltbalm have a conversation.)

Eltbalm: I don’t really trust her but... if you want to take her up on her offer...

Koejin: Wouldn’t we just be safer going your way?

Eltbalm: .... I have no fucking clue where we are. The paths changed.

Koejin: (glares at Eltbalm but then looks at the caverns to see there are some clear indication of fallen debris. She turns back to the fairy) Are there often collapses in the caverns?

Fairy: Over time, yes. You have the ocassional cave in and such...

Art: When was the last one?

Fairy: It could have happened at anytime and anywhere. The caverns go all over the world, you know!

Koejin: But then, how do we know your shortcut is even still there?

Fairy: Oh, I know it is!

Koejin: (Rolls another insight check and finds she isn’t lying. She knows her way around.) Okay! I think we should follow her.

(We all begin to do this and head on our way.)

Wreybar: (notices Reita staring at the fairy. Once again, she’s salivating)... is it the wings?

Reita: All... so tasty...

Wreybar: Mmm, like chicken... you should get it.

Reita: (nods and goes after the fairy)

Art: (catches Reita mid attack as she was still hanging onto him. Pulls her back) you’re not eating our guide.

Reita: So hungry...

Art: (Gives her another ration which she then devours)

Koejin: So... it’s funny that I’m only seeing one fairy here. Where...?

Fairy: Oh, you mean my brothers and sisters?

Koejin: I mean, I didn’t want to assume you were all related. Seems racist.

Fairy: Well... either way, they’re here. They’re just...shy. If you want to meet them, just turn around!

(All of us freeze at that and slowly turn around to see dead, lifeless fairy bodies hanging on string and following us.)

Art: (not looking away from the horror show)... you have a lovely family...

Wreybar: (sees the wire is also on our guide. She follows it up to see mechanical spiders using them as puppets.)

Fairy: (smiles) You’ve fallen for our trap.

(Next time, we roll for initiative.)

#adventures of art the bard #dnd #dnd bard #dnd ranger #dnd barbarian #tiefling #gnome #dragonborn #dnd paladin #homebrew #homebrew gods #Wreybar is going to be the death of us #And Koejin's kinda decided her and Eltbalm are in a relationship #She's really setting herself up for heartbreak #But she does have a sexy orc captain waiting for her at home #so there's that #shut up jay

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theartofbeinganeldar · 5 years ago

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The Art of Being an Eldar: Legolas x Reader Chapter 5

Summary: After discovering that you were stuck in Middle-Earth, Thranduil summoned a council of powerful Elves and wizards to see what should be done with you, expressing his wishes of wanting you out of his kingdom. The council decides to send you with Legolas on an orc-hunting mission, and if the Elves of the company that he deems trustworthy-- one of them being his own wife-- say that you've proven yourself worthy of staying among the Mirkwood Elves, then you can stay. The problem is actually managing to succeed...

Chapter No.: Chapter 5

Key: [Y/N]=Your Name [F/N]= Friend's Name [B/N]= Bro's Name [S/N]= Sis's Name [M/N]= Mom's Name [e/c]= eye color [h/c]= hair color [s/c]= skin color [lad/lass/y-o]= lad/laddie, lass/lassie, young one

Notes: I know I've been trying to keep this story gender-nuetral, but dwarves have a habit of referring to people (Even Gimli to Legolas, though he's a lot younger than our golden boy) as "lad/laddie" "lass/lassie." Or even "young one," I've heard Balin call Bilbo. So for this story, I'll just put [lad/lass/y-o] in parenthesese, and you can just hear whichever one you choose. :)

Warnings: Fluff, angst, graphic depictions of gore and violence (Cuz of orc battles y'know?), more angst, slow burn, some light depression in the first few chapters, some amnesia about Middle-Earth because the Valar say you're not supposed to have foresight, hard-core language, feels, lots and lots of feels, mentions of NSFW content, maybe some eventual NSFW content, LGTBQ+ characters, Thranduil being a jackass at first because he's fabulous, Legolas being a hot edgy prince that nobody can handle, Kili being an innocent bean, Hobbits being smol innocent beans, except for Bilbo 'cause he's been through some tough shit, Bard being dad of the year, Thorin being one dumbass boi, awesome dragons, awesome Nazgul, awesome scenery, awesome stuff in general, Elrond isn't listened to by anybody, confused Aragorn is confused, Denethor's a bitch as always, brace yourself for creepy as fuck Cream of Wormtongue Grima Wormtongue, Boromir LIVES, Gandalf. (yes these are all legit warnings don't judge me.)

Pairings/Ships: Legolas x Reader, Legolas x you, Aragorn x Arwen, Faramir x Eowyn, Thranduil x Elvenqueen, Galadriel x Celery Celeborn, Boromir x OC, Thorin x OC maybe Bilbo you won't know for awhile, Fili x OC, etc. general LoTR standard shippings plus some of my own cuz I can't stand my boys being lonely

Word Count: I try to keep my chapters short, under 2000 words.

Rating: Teen (14+) for now

The Elves stopped just outside the northern border of the Mirkwood, to the west, to wait for the dwarves. But apparently the little guys just didn't give a shit.

The whole group camped for three days, then three more days, and by the end of it, you were even growing impatient. It was mainly the younger Elves that shared your impatience, but Elves like Elvenqueen and Erestor and Haldir seemed to think that they had all the time in the world, la la fucking la...

Legolas seemed in-between, irritated at the dwarves for being so late but not really caring in the long run. You tried several times to approach him and apologize, but he always seemed to disappear at the most inconvenient times imaginable.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity-- you were getting sick and tired of frolicking-- the sign of a camp on a distant ridge, a couple of days away, gave the Elves hope that the dwarves finally got their heads out of their asses and decided to show up. A couple of Elves seemed to puff some horses out of thin air, and galloped off to meet them.

"We get horses?!" You'd screeched, and wheeled on your friends-- Tauriel hadn't come, so Lindir, Elros, and pissy Blue-Eyes were the only actual friends here you had, even though all the other Elves were very nice to you. "Why the fuck didn't anybody tell me we got horses?!" You could've been riding to pass this time. Not that you knew how to ride a horse, but that wasn't the point.

Elros blinked at you in disbelief. "Those Elves awaited us on the border with horses enough for all. You have not seen them before?"

"No, dammit, or I would've been riding to pass the time!" You hadn't noticed them, because a certain Rivendell Elf had forced you to learn Elvish... You rounded on him. "Lindir! If you hadn't made me sit here and learn Elvish, I could've been riding!"

Lindir stared at you, then slowly raised an eyebrow challengingly. "You do not know how to ride, do you?"

You frowned. "That's not the point!"

Both Elros and Lindir chuckled amongst themselves. You huffed theatrically. "Fine, jackasses. I'm off to pet one of those sweet animals. You can teach me Elvish later."

Before either of them could stop you, you all but ran off, hoping not to slam into anybody or trip or cause something to fall that'd cause a huge mess. You were prone to all of them. And there were horses, enough for everybody there, and three very fat ponies that you almost started squealing over. Those, you guessed, were for the dwarves.

But one horse, out of all of them, caught your eye.

A sleek, gorgeous black, with a bright white star on his forehead. He was built for speed, like a racehorse, but he was sturdy, too. You looked for something to mark him as belonging to a certain Elf-- because you knew Elves loved horses, and that like all horse people, even look at their horse wrong and you make it on their kill list-- but they all seemed randomly selected out of somebody's stables, dressed in the same dark leather tack and saddlebags.

"Oooooh," You approached him quietly, and he nickered softly at you, his dark eyes scanning you and the Elves and the other horses warily. He seemed only recently tamed. "You, fine sir, are gorgeous."

"I beg your pardon?"

You promptly fell backward. Shit! Talking horses, too?! "What the fuck?!"

Legolas, with a smug smirk plastered onto his absurdly perfect face, sailed into existence from around a dapple gray mare. "Valar tell me you were talking to the horse."

"No, I can tell you I was talking to the horse," You sighed in relief, shaking your head as you stood. "But don't worry your platinum head, Goldie, all Elves are equally beautiful creatures."

Legolas rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, mellon."

You stroked the black's face gently. "No seriously though, he's beautiful. Does he have a name?"

Blue-Eyes didn't look up from brushing his mare's mane. "Most of the horses came from Rivendell and Rohan, which they bought on the journey. The rest came from the Woodland stables. I doubt you will find his name, if he has one."

You felt a little disappointed that you couldn't ask if you could have the horse. You'd always wanted one, but for... Personal reasons that had to do with your biological father, you never got one. "Well... I'll just refer to him as The Black, then."

Blue-Eyes turned around, and started inspecting his tack. "Hm... He seems to have come from our own stables." He stroked behind the stallion's ears, and the horse snuffed appreciatively.

"Legolas," You said quickly, realizing you should catch him when you have the chance. "I'm sorry for not telling you about me leaving if this didn't go well. It wasn't my choice; Thranduil wanted me to go with Elrond that day, but I asked if I could stay. He sent me on this mission to see if I was worthy enough to stay in his Palace of Fabulous. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but... I didn't think anyone would care if I left."

Blue-Eyes got a confused look. "Why... Why would you think that?"

You gave him a sad, lopsided smile. "No one has before."

Recognition, then regret, flashed across Blue-Eyes's face. "Oh, Sairen... I am truly sorry, mellon nin, I should not have been angry with you. I didn't realize... I should have, and I should not have been upset with you. I just... I do care if you leave, and, if I'm honest, I do not want you to go."

You patted his shoulder. "Just so long as you forgive me."

Blue-Eyes smiled at you. "Of course, mellon, if you can forgive me."

You grinned. "Forgiven." You nudged him with your shoulder. "I'm just glad we're friends again. I've never had so many people be nice to me, but only a handful of you I consider my friends."

"And who among us hold that honor?" He asked teasingly.

Oh shit... You'd seen movies where somebody's asked this question, and if the askee shows even the slightest bit of hesitation or interest in any of the friends, asker became pissed and/or jealous. Wait... Why do I care about that? You turned to him with a huge smile. "Well you and Tauriel, DUH, and then there's Lindir and Elros now. Just wait, I'll be friends with Haldir and Erestor too, and then your mom-- by the time I'm finished I'll even make your dad like me!"

Legolas chuckled. "I hope so, mellon."

"By the way," You said, and reached down to grab a handful of grass to give to the Black. "Lindir and Elros are trying-- and failing-- to teach me Elvish. I'm a horrible student, namely because I'm Elvish-challenged. Still, I'm learning, and I want you to teach me something very specific."

He looked confused. "What?"

You smiled. "Teach me the history of Middle-Earth! Everything you can! I can't read Elvish, but you can, and you know the stories pretty well, I'm guessing. So start with how the world began and continue on from there."

Legolas smiled. "Very well, Sairen." In one quick movement, he mounted his mare, then reached down for your hand. "Come. We will ride, and I will tell you all that I know."

You took his hand, feeling a spark from static you'd built up from petting the horse. He hefted you effortlessly up behind him, then urged his horse into a canter as you rode away from camp.

***

Needless to say, you fell off twice.

Once, you let go of Legolas for just a second as his mare jumped a small log, and whoops, there you go. After, still not learning your lesson, you let go of him while trotting beside a river and the horse's gait made you slide right off before you even realized what was happening.

Then you learned not to let go of Blue-Eyes, mostly because he laughed his Elvish ass off every time you fell, after making sure you were okay.

As for world history, it was all very confusing. There were like six different versions of somebody and a hundred different other guys shared the same name and places and descendants and confusing time periods and just ugh. That was one thing you remembered from Earth: Tolkien's works had always been confusing.

Long story short, though, there was a guy called Eru, or Illuvatar, and he created a bunch of friends through thought. These friends of his became the Valar, and Illuvatar created the whole universe-- Ea-- through more thought. Then he had all his friends-- fourteen of them-- sing, and they created the vision of Valinor, then Arda, and the mischief-maker was Melkor, brother of god-king Manwe.

Now, after a long bout of building and making and stuff they created Valinor and Tirion and Mandos and all that, and they created birds and beasts, but Melkor got jealous and tried to ruin it at every fucking turn. Seriously, the guy didn't give them a break.

Then, Aule, another Valar, who made a lot of shit, wanted to have a bunch of kids so created the little guys known as dwarves, and made them to be especially tough and hardy and stuff because they were supposed to be around during the time of Melkor. But, Illuvatar appeared in his living room one night and said "I think the fuck not my kids come first" which made Aule reeeaaaaaallly upset, so he tried to kill the dwarves (Supreme parenting 2.0!), but then Illuvatar said "wait idiot they can still live" so Aule put them in stasis-mode for like several million years, until somebody "accidentally" unleashed some new Elves into Middle-Earth-- which had no moon or sun.

So duh Orome shows up, says "hi" and everybody runs for their lives except for a few brave souls, who round everybody back up. So three particular Elves, Finwe, Lenwe, and Ingwe, who you're pretty sure were brothers, went to Valinor with Orome to see if it was suitable for Elves-- and it was pretty much Elven paradise, or Vegas or something.

THUS CAME THE FIRST SUNDERING OF THE ELVES, or, that's how dramatically Leggy told it; the Teleri came to rest on the shores of Aman instead of going still further (Who earlier had split further and some became the Sindar, who had stayed in Beleriand, and the Silvan Elves, who'd stayed in the forests of Beleriand or something, of which Blue-Eyes was the first.), the Nandor who got scared of mountains and refused to go further, and the Noldor, who came all the way to Valinor.

Once actually in Aman, the Elves loved it there. They were in paradise. Water. Books. Flowers. Sparkles. Everything an Elf dreamed of. They built a city on a huge hill called Tirion upon Tuna (No you refrained from laughing.), made of silver and gold and more sparkles, and there was lots of peace, until Melkor was finally caught and chained.

Peace, lots of peace, boring shit, more peace, then BAM, the idiot Valar let the bastard go, like dumbasses. Melkor hadn't changed of course, no one does. He started rumors like some crazy gossiper and started up a whole bunch of shit. At that time, this guy called Feanor was around. He was like, the Elf of Elves, but he had some breathtaking anger management issues because after his mom died, his dad waited like a couple thousand years then got married again, and he definitely did not like his stepmom.

Or his two half-brothers.

They were pretty cool guys, Fingolfin and Finarfin, and each brother had like a dozen kids each, one of Finarfin's, get this, was Galadriel. One of Thingol's kin? Celeborn. Elrond? Yeah, he's the grandson of Beren and Luthien, the son of Earendil, raised by Maglor, related to Turin, and his grandparents were Tuor and Idril, the latter of which was the daughter of Turgon, who was the son of Fingolfin, who was the brother of Feanor, so yeah.

Holy fucking shit. Their god stories were kinda hard not to believe when people still existed who could vouch for them.

So this Feanor guy created a trio of sparklies beyond all sparklies, called, the Silmarils. He got a mild case of dragonsickness, boasting and hoarding and showing off and gloating, but Melkor made him think his brothers were trying to steal his sparkles, which, fuck no, how dare they, and he made his brothers think that Feanor was trying to usurp their father Finwe's throne.

Damn that guy knew how to stir up some shit.

One of Melkor's chief servants? Sauron, the Dark Lord, previously known as Sauron the Sparkly Maiar Who Wouldn't Hurt A Butterfly. Balrogs? Yup, Melkor made them, too.

Basically, Feanor started a revolution against the Valar and Melkor, who he called Morgoth, because Melkor was just too pretty of a name for such a bad guy, who stole every single light with the help of a hideously large spider called Ungoliant, killed Finwe, then took the Silmarils.

Feanor was piiiiiiissed.

So the Noldor left Tirion, killed some guys that tried to reason with them that turned out to be Elves, the Teleri, got cursed by Mandos, then Feanor, his sons, and a couple hundred who he knew didn't question him set off on stolen boats and burned them when they reached shore, leaving everybody else-- Galadriel included-- to walk the fucking Helcaraxe, a snowy strait wasteland, to get to Beleriand, which was filled with sparkling twinkle-toes Elves and much-less-serious dwarves-- who were friends.

There was also a good portion of the story dedicated to Turin, Beren and Luthien, and the couple known as Maedhros and Fingon, who you instantly adored: Maedhros, chained to a jagged cliffside for who-knows-how-long, and Fingon, who wanted so badly to save him, and eventually carried up to the cliffside by an eagle; he had to cut off Maedhros's hand, but the story was so heartfelt you were still internally squealing about it.

Yeah so that happened, and then a bunch of war and slaying and something about a Fall of Gondolin and the Children of Hurin and Beren and Luthien leading up to a whole lot of human-caused shit with Numenor, and then Illuvatar blew everything up and restarted, essentially. Toward the end of the second age, Sauron (The fucker had somehow lived through all that evil-cleansing shit.), in the form of a fancy-prancy Elf named Annatar, suggested the making of the Rings of Power. Three, a smart guy who hadn't fallen for any of Annatar's shit, Celebrimbor, hid for the Elves, while Sauron/Annator helped forge the rest in order to control them, making one ring, above all.

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,

Seven for the dwarf lords in their halls of stone,

Nine for mortal men doomed to die,

And one for the Dark Lord on his Dark Throne,

In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie,

One Ring to find them,

One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them,

In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.

That was totally cool and stuff, and a handful of well-known Elves-- Gil-Galad, Glorfindel (Who'd uh, previously died due to a balrog trying to touch his hair.), Elrond-- and you're betting Galadriel, Celeborn, and Thranduil-- plus a bunch of well-known humans, lead by Isildur's dad, Elendil, and probably some dwarves, all came together with their armies and formed the Last Alliance of Elves and Men, totally discounting every dwarf that was there.

The nine kings who'd been given rings? Yeah, those were cursed, and because Men are greedy, they became shadows of their former selves, black-clad servants of Sauron, known as the Ringwraiths-- or, even cooler, Nazgul.

So there was a huge battle. Gil-Galad fell. Isildur's dad fell. Isildur cut off the One Ring from Sauron's hand, Sauron faded away, and Elrond took Isildur into Mount Doom to destroy the Ring. But he was weak, and was seduced by its power, and Elrond just stood there screaming his name apparently.

So there'd been roughly a couple thousand years of peace, and nobody knew where the Ring was. You doubted it was anywhere safe or secure, and much less that Sauron was actually dead.

Also, the Elves were fading. That scared you.

"What?! Great, I got sucked into a world where I'm just gonna die!"

Legolas laughed. "No, mellon nin, we are fading. Not dying. We just long for home, and our kind is slowly leaving Middle-Earth. This world becomes gray to us after so long of living here. We go across the sea, to the Undying Lands of Aman and Valinor."

"Okay," You leaned around him to see his face. "What is it with you Elves and the sea?! What's so important about it, if even you've never seen it yourself?! I certainly haven't seen any kind of ocean or sea."

Blue-Eyes smiled at you. "The first sound ever heard by the Elves was flowing water. It calls us home, in a way. It is said by my people that in water there yet lives the echo of the Music of the Ainur that first created this world."

"Huh," You said, tilting your head. "Guess that does make it really interesting..."

The sound of another pair of hoofbeats, coming up from behind, nearly made you fall off of the horse again. "Orcs?!"

Blue-Eyes grinned smugly. "Orcs do not ride horses, Sairen."

"Duh. I knew that. Fuck you."

"I'd rather you not without my consent."

"That's not always what it means!" You hid your blush by moving so your head was behind his back. Damn Elves...

It was Erestor, riding a gorgeous flaxen stallion. "Legolas, Elvenqueen calls upon the company of [Y/N]."

Nervously, you peered around Blue-Eyes's side. "Is that bad?"

Legolas spurred his own mare into a canter as he followed after Erestor. "Not in the least, mellon."

When you returned to camp, Erestor and Legolas took care of the horses, while they sent you on ahead-- by yourself, to a scary yet badass Elvenqueen you might glare you out of existence if you breathed wrong, like the wonderful friends they were-- to the Elvenqueen.

She sat by one of the center campfires, surrounded by a drove of Elves eagerly listening to whatever she was saying. Even in the firelight, she looked really young, but really regal and noble and even though she didn't have a wrinkle on her body you could tell she'd been around for eons.

All went silent when you approached. Nervously, you bowed. "Y-you wished to see me, your majesty?"

"Yes," She said, and waved to a place on a log across from her. "Sit."

You weren't terrified or anything. Just 'cause she decided not to skin you alive a couple days ago didn't mean she couldn't change her mind. You caught a glimpse of Elros in the crowd, and he gave you a reassuring nod: Don't worry, you won't die yet.

Comforting.

"Tell something of your world," She said.

You balked. Hadn't Thranduil told her everything you'd said? They seemed like the type of couple to do just that. Hadn't Legolas at least given her some information? They seemed close. You swallowed hard, readjusting yourself on the log. "What uh... What do you want to know?"

She thought for a second. "A tale."

You shifted. Sure, that was specific. You'd read billions of books (Well, maybe not quite that much...), but you couldn't remember any that Elves would want to hear aside from series’, like Temeraire, or The Gospel of Loki, or Eon the Last Dragoneye. Maybe you could use a movie, but Marvel and Transformers were too long and in-depth. You thought for a minute. You didn't even know how to give a much-shortened version of Eragon.

But out of everything, it was your best bet to tell a story and be safe from explaining your world's past, or things of your world, or cultures, mythology, or the concept of giant robots from another planet that hide by transforming into cars. Eragon was the closest thing you had to Lord of the Rings that you could remember right off the top of your head that was most similar; it had some of the same beasts, like dragons and werewolves, it was set in the same genre and had dwarves and Elves and Men, even if urgals were a new one... Then again, you weren't sure how they'd take dragons being good instead of hoarding assholes.

So, you got started.

As a hobby, you wrote a lot of fanfiction, which had mainly been for Lord of the Rings; you couldn't remember any of it now, of course, but you'd also started your own fantasy stories that had never been published. You were good with storytelling.

There were points where you had to pause and remember what happened next, or try to find words that explained the guilt or sadness or general feels of the story, but you did pretty good. By the time you were finished, the sun had came up and it was already noon, and the Elves that'd gone off to see if that camp was for dwarves were coming back, with a couple of pony-sized rams with shaggy coats carrying three tiny buff hairy guys.

Elvenqueen regally stood. "My thanks, [Y/N]. That was a wonderful story." She sailed through the ranks of the Elves, which parted before her like reeds to a boat.

"Is that a true story?" Lindir asked you, eyes wide.

You scoffed. "If it were true, I'd've had a dragon named Saphira or Shruikan. I have no dragon." You clapped your hands together. "So! When do I get to meet the dwarves?"

Blue-Eyes-- who'd joined later in the story, and another Elf caught him up on what was going on while he half-listened to what else was going on-- mockingly rolled his eyes. "Patience, mellon. I cannot think of any Eldar whom would willingly want to make the acquaintance of a dwarf."

You gave him a pointed look. "What about Thingol's people?"

Silence. Finally, Elros busted out laughing, and clapped the now-stunned Legolas on the back. "They have a point, mellon!"

But Blue-Eyes was right. It was only a couple hours before you were sought out by a Lothlorien Elf, who told you Thorin wanted to meet "the one who hailed from far." Apparently, nobody here felt like saying "the person that came from another planet." Not as mysterious, apparently.

So you followed the Elf to a tent, much smaller than those of the Elves, and a lot less colorful and, dare you say it, fashionable. Literally, it just looked like a bunch of old dark-colored blankets had been stitched together haphazardly. But, if you looked at the tools and tack of the rams, they were just doing it in spite of the Elves, because they had really good craftsmanship.

You weren't sure what to do. "Uhhh... Knock knock?"

You belatedly remembered one of the dwarves was royalty. "Sirs?"

The flap of the tent opened, and you got your first look at a dwarf.

He was an older dwarf, with a long graying beard and frizzy hair, and huge round ears. He looked you up and down in a brief but kind inspection, and, came to the very educated conclusion of, yup, not your normal Elf.

The dwarf smiled. "Ah, you must be [Y/N]." He sounded more Scottish than anything, and you were instantly relaxed. "The one from a far place. Not a normal Elf, then?"

You shook your head. "No sir. Just got here about a month and a half ago, actually."

He raised a hand. "Now now, we are all a part of this expedition, and I don't like being referred to as 'sir.' I am Balin to you."

You couldn't help but smile. He was a lovable little guy, a very sweet old dwarf. "Okay then. But, uh... Should I call Thorin or Dwalin 'sir'?"

Balin thought about that. "Ehhh... Thorin, yes. Dwalin? No."

You nodded, and Balin lead you inside the tent. It was pretty cozy, with three logs covered in roughish furs for makeshift beds. A small cooking fire was set up in the middle, and two other dwarves sat by it, halting their dwarvish conversation when they seen you and Balin. "This is they," Said Balin, in an introductory way. "[Y/N], child of [M/N], from far places."

The dwarf who you assumed was Dwalin-- buff, sleeveless, and with viscious muttonchops that made him look like Wolverine-- scoffed. "Tell me," Holy shit, he sounds like Leonidas from 300! "[Y/N], do you perhaps come from the Iron Hills?"

"Iron... What?" You were confused. Hadn't any of the Elves talked about you being from Earth? "N...No. I come from a place called Earth."

"Dwalin," Said the other guy, who radiated kingship, authority, and regal dwarfish-ness. He didn't take his eyes off you, like you were a predator ready to strike that he was wary of. He had a beard, but braided neatly down, and long dark hair. He wore dark navy blue and brown fur armor, and his voice was like, super deep. "They are not of the Iron Hills."

"Uh... Thank you?"

Thorin stood, and you bowed. "I'd uh, use some really respectful greeting, but I don't know any in dwarvish yet, so, it's an honor to meet you, Thorin, son of Thrain."

Thorin nodded. "I would say the same, if I knew you deserved any honor," He replied. Ouch.

You didn't know what to say. He obviously had no love for Elves. "What uh... What made you think I was from the Iron Hills, wherever that is?"

"To the east of Erebor, [lad/lass/y-o]," Balin informed you, and Dwalin whacked him so hard upside the head you could've swore they broke something.

"Oh. What made you think--"

Thorin looked at you with a look that said stfu so you did. "The dwarves of Erebor think little of Elven magic, or wizards. We did not believe a portal strong enough to pull someone from another world could exist. And as I have discovered, it does not."

You were confused. "What do you mean? You mean the ears? Those were latex, I swear, but suddenly they weren't. You can ask Thranduil, I'm not from these parts."

Thorin glared at you. "I would rather not converse with the Elvenking. He does not hear the word of others. As for you... It is clear you are merely an Elf of strange upbringing, who lost themselves in the wrong woods."

"Okay," You were starting to get irritated. You loved Middle-Earth, but you weren't from Middle-Earth. You didn't belong, like always, and you were ready to defend your position. In Game of Thrones--you'd never gotten far in that series, and had only started the books-- Tyrion Lannister told Jon Snow to armor himself in what people thought his weakness was, so that it would no longer be his weakness. That's exactly what you'd done over the course of your life, and you weren't about to lose that now. "Listen, I can show you the damn portal. It wasn't made by Elves, or wizards, or any of that other shit. The inscription on the portal came from the time of Gondolin, if that means anything to you. Do I talk like an Elf, to you? Do I act like one? The Elves were ready to kill me, just because I breathed wrong near their damn trees after being chased by orcs on oversized dogs. If I weren't from another world, do you honestly think I'd have such elaborate stories?"

Behind Thorin, Balin patted his hands down, giving you the silent signal to shut up. Glacing at Thorin's pissed off face made you listen. "How am I to believe you?"

You made a face. "Don't you dwarves have any kind of lie-detecting abilites?"

Balin sighed. "None that we can think of, [lad/lass/y-o]."

You huffed in defeat. "Okay, okay, you know what? You dwarves are beyond stubborn, so I'll just tell you once: I come from another world. If you don't believe me, fine, but I'd actually like to make friends with dwarves, thank you very much."

"Oh!" Dwalin chuckled deeply. "Then they must not be an Elf, Thorin! None in their right mind would go cavorting with a dwarf!"

Thorin frowned. "Perhaps a spy... But wait... You are not of the Woodland Elves. I see that now."

You looked down at yourself. "Gee, what gave it away?"

"You carry yourself differently," He began to circle you, and you felt like you were being circled by a vulture. An angry vulture... "Most unlike them, or any Elf I have heard tale of. Whom were you raised by?"

"Uh, my mother," You quipped with a cocked eyebrow. "Her name is [M/N]."

"And where do your kin reside? With the Rangers of Dúnadain?"

"With the what? Is that some kind of club?"

"Club?" Thorin repeated. "You believe that to be a weapon?" He gave you a disbelieving look, and you sighed.

"No, no. Where I come from, a club is a group of people that gather together and talk about stuff they like, or try to run the schools or shit like that," You were trying to explain with excessive hand movements, but you only seemed to be freaking him out.

He narrowed his eyes. In a rough and rusty language that sounded like it could be dwarvish, he said something; you didn't even catch any of the words.

You stared at him blankly for a second. "Mae g'ovannen...?" You tried, wincing at your hopeless pronunciation of the words.

Thorin regarded you with a newfound look of awe. Behind him, Dwalin chuckled. "That, was his attempt at Elvish. And you did not understand what he said?"

You stared. "...No? Was I supposed to? Did you just say something important? Or insult me? Hey, I'm only just starting to learn Sindarin!"

Thorin's look of awe shifted to a scowl and a bitter smirk. "It was not Sindarin, I can assure you. It was Quendi, that of the Noldor, the only Elvish my people know."

"Quen-- Oh, I get it now. Different Elves, different languages, it's all coming together..." You swung your arms casually. "Ok, so, what'd you say?"

"I told you that you are an imposter, and no better than Orc-filth" Said Thorin absentmindedly, "Which would send any Elf into a fit of well-groomed rage."

You couldn't help yourself. You burst into a fit of giggles, making all three dwarves look at you weirdly. "I-I'm sorry," You wheezed, "'Well-groomed rage'; yeah, that's pretty much what they do!"

"What of this quest, then?" Challenged Thorin as he took a seat. He gestured for you to do the same. "If you are not of the Wood Elves, yet you are indeed Elven, why are you on this journey? What purpose do you have here?" He poured you a drink; you'd never really tasted ale or mead of any kind, and recoiled from the smell.

"In order for you to understand, I'd have to tell you the story," You told him, and he gestured for you to continue. So you did. "I fell from the highest branches of an oak tree playing a game with my family. It was a standard day. Standard, pointless life. A life in a dying world that was way too fucking overpopulated, in the wrong damn places. It was a twisted kind of home. I didn't like it, and did what I wanted, so people hated me. I was dressed as an Elf--hence the ears.

"I wake up in the middle of the night, still in the forest, and am suddenly being chased by orcs on the backs of oversized dogs with six-packs on their faces."

Thorin grew confused. "Six-pack? What is that?"

You patted your stomach. "Those rows of six square tight muscles you get on you stomach if you work out. Now lemme finish!

"I get caught up in a river, shot by an arrow, and am half-dead by the time the Elves arrive lead by Blue-Eyes-- uh, Legolas-- and they're ready to kill me, but because I'm pretty much dead and in their forest, I'm some kind of threat. Because they're real nice like that. Thranduil-- who I kindly refer to as, Lord Fabulous-- wanted Leggy to kill me on the spot. Blade to my neck and everything. Until I pointed out that I could go home if we found the portal and would never return by pain of death. Ouch, but whatever.

"So we look, find it, and surprise! Can't get through. Can never see my family again. Can never go home. Suddenly I'm a real Elf. I go into a kind of depression before I realize that this place was a fictional world from where I'm from, which I'd loved, but for some reason can't remember shit now." You pointed to him. "Your name is important. Very. I know that much. You do something really cool, probably.

"But the Council of Wisdomy Guys was summoned, and they decided that it would be best if I proved my worthiness to stay among the Wood Elves on this mission. No pressure!" You grinned maniacally. "What brings you here? I hear a certain gray-robed wizard?"

"Ah, yes," He sighed. "Gandalf. My father met with him whilst I was in the depths of Erebor, so I heard no word of it and could make no protest against it until my father told me that I was to travel with two of my choice to assist the Elves. I only tolerate this for my father's sake, and he claims this will be a good lesson for kingship one day. But when I heard word of someone from foreign lands, I feared it was the dwarves of the Iron Hills attempting some form of scheme. Never have they liked us, and they never shall."

You scoffed. "Yeah, well... Most of the Elves may not like you either, but some of them aren't so bad."

Dwalin choked on his bread. Balin gave you a sad look. "But they tried to kill you!"

You shrugged. "I'm used to getting awful treatment. And besides, now that they know me, I've made some friends. Tauríel, the Captain of the Guard; Lindir of Rivendell, and Elros son of Elrond... And then there's Blue-- Legolas."

"Why d'ya refer to him that way?" Dwalin demanded with a disgusted look.

You shrugged. "A nickname. Where I come from, it's a gesture of friendship. I call Lindir 'Lindy' and he hates it, I can tell."

Thorin snorted. "Well, [Y/N] of Earth... Should the Wood Elves refuse your company, Dale might make a nice, temporary placement until you find elsewhere."

You smirked, nodding slowly. "I heard that emphasis on temporary. Don't worry; I thank you for your hospitality, but Lord Elrond is staying at the palace until I return. If I fail, he'll take me back to Rivendell with him."

"Good. One less Elf on our borders to deal with."

"Oh screw off."

Thorin grinned bitterly, but waved a hand. "Begone, I am done with questioning you."

You scoffed, and Dwalin took your drink and guzzled it. to your shock and amazement. Out of the three of them, only Balin wished you a goodnight.

But you weren't tired, which you realized as you found yourself heading back toward the horses. "[Y/N]," Said a familiar voice, and you turned to see Haldir striding toward you.

You bowed, suddenly recognizing him as somebody of high rank. "Mae l'ovannen, Haldir of Lothlorien. What's up?"

He blinked in confusion. "I..." He slowly looked up. "Believe the stars..."

You chuckled. "No, no; that's an expression, where I come from. It means how are you doing, what is it you need, nice to see you, etcetera etcetera."

He stared at you. "...'Et... Cetera...?'"

You slumped over. "Oi... It means a general list of similar meanings that're implied but nobody feels like saying."

Haldir smiled. "Oh, I see. Lindir wished for you to return, so that you could continue your lessons in Sindarin." He didn't miss your look of disappointment. He smirked. "Perhaps, when you are finished with Sindarin, and already know Common, Quenyan would be best for you to learn."

"Pfft," You waved a hand. "I'll live forever. Might as well. I'll toss some dwarvish in there while I'm at it."

Haldir made a face. "I suppose that is up to you, but every dwarf speaks Common, so it would not pose any form of language barrier for that to be avoided..."

*** You were woken up no later than the crack of fucking dawn, by an elaborate blowing of horns that probably alerted ninety-seven percent of the orcs of the northern borders to your presence, but oh what the hell.

What else you woke up to?

"Galu, mellon nin," Said Legolas with a shit-eating grin. "Ci maer?"

Slowly, your groggy eyes went from wide to thin, angry slits. "...I swear to the Valar, Blue-Eyes... I just fucking woke up. What are you saying? Speak in Common, or I'll tear you limb from limb because I am not a morning person."

He gave you a look, but couldn't wipe the smile off his face. "Le leich, Sairen. But if you are going to learn Elvish, then you must actually try to do so. Tell me, what did I say?"

You shrugged and slumped over onto a log. "Grapefruit, melons win, kid mobster."

Blue-Eyes chuckled, but internally, you busted out laughing after realizing what you said. "No, [Y/N], you have to do this. Concentrate. What did I say?"

With a sigh, you thought about Lindir's grueling lessons with you yesterday. "...You said, 'A blessing,' which is basically 'hi,' first; Galu. Then you said 'my friend,' and, 'are you well.'"

Blue-Eyes nodded, looking excited that you were getting the hang of Elvish. "Excellent. Now respond to me in Sindarin."

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. In the most unenthusiastic tone you could muster, you said, "Galu, Legolas, ni maer. A gin?" Blessings, Legolas, I am well. And you?

"Ni maer," He replied, then began polishing his bow. "Worry not, Sairen, soon Sindarin will come to you thoughtlessly. You already swear to our gods, instead of your own."

You did roll your eyes this time. An idea hit you. "Hey..." You looked at him with a huge smirk. "What's fuck you in Elvish?"

Legolas paled, then blushed. "You will learn how to speak intimately to another later--"

You huffed. "NO! What's your most offensive insult?!"

Blue-Eyes thought for a minute. "...Ego, which is the equivalent to what you mean when you proclaim that Common phrase of yours... Hopefully, most of the time."

You bit back a laugh. "...Eggo? As in, L'eggo my eggo?"

Blue-Eyes gave you a concerned look. "I... I am not sure what you mean, and it is not pronounced as you say it."

Commotion started up, and you spun around in your seat wildly to try and see why everybody was suddenly moving and packing up. "What's goin' on?"

Legolas smiled. "Well, Sairen, we are off to track the orcs."

You looked at him in a panic, pointing futilely to an Elf packing up the cooking supplies. "B-but... What about breakfast?" That sentence reminded you of someone... Someone small and innocent and prone to causing disasters... But who? Blue-Eyes didn't give you time to figure it out.

"You will not starve, mellon nin," He told you gently, and stood. "You are an Eldar now; you'd best learn what your body can do now rather than later." He smiled down at you. "Dadwenithon."

As if you understood what that meant, he practically skipped away. "...Dad marathon?" You repeated in disbelief. You got up and went to find somebody you knew, preferably not the Elvenqueen, Erestor, Haldir, or Thorin, because they'd just find you childish, or annoying. Elros was quick to find, and you approached him and his palomino steed with a very confused expression.

"Hey Elros?"

Elros looked up from brushing his horse's mane and smiled. "Ai, len suilon, mellon nin. Ci maer?"

You rolled your eyes. Stupid Elves and their five hundred different ways to say 'hi...' "Galu, Elros. Ni maer, a gin?"

"Ni maer eithro. What brings you to my company?"

"What the hell does dad marathon mean?"

Elros froze and looked at you like you were crazy. "I beg your pardon?"

You gestured wildly over your shoulder. "Legolas got up, walked away, and said dad marathon! And I've got no idea what he said!"

Elros grinned knowingly. "Ai,Legolas said dadwenithon. It means, roughly, I will return." He gave you a disgusted look. "And that is not how it is pronounced at all."

"Oh. Dadwenithon?"

Elros smiled proudly. "Yes! Precisely! Well done! But if Legolas told you he would return to you, evidently he meant for you to stay where you were."

Your eyes bugged out of your head. "Oh. I'll be going, then. Novaer." You didn't realize you'd said an Elvish farewell until you'd reached where you'd originally been seated, but that jumped out of your head when you seen Legolas waiting with his dappled mare and the black stallion (Heh heh...) from yesterday.

"Ooh! What's this all about?"

"I decided you should have your own mount throughout the course of this journey," He replied with a smile. "He is yours for now. Name him as you will, and by the end of this journey, I shall see if you may keep him."

You stared at him like he'd just grown a second head. "Wh... What? Keep him?"

Legolas smiled. "Surely you would wish to ride at will throughout the northern parts of Mirkwood?"

A huge smile spread across your face, and you excitedly spread your hands. "Well, duh! Gin hannon, Legolas! I'll call him..." You took the reins and looked him in the eye. "Starlight. I've always wanted a black horse called Starlight."

Blue-Eyes patted your back. "Well done, mellon. Already, Elvish is beginning to seep into your speech."

You looked at him in surprise. "I did that on purpose you dumb blond."

Legolas's eyes widened slightly. "Man?" Which you understood as, What?

You stuck your tongue out at him and crossed your eyes. "Blehlehleh!"

He recoiled. "What are you doing?"

With a laugh, you stroked Starlight's muzzle. "Messing with you. So you get up from the left side, right?"

Blue-Eyes just looked at you like you were crazy, then shook his head. "Yes, I suppose."

You went around to the left flank of the steed, which snorted suspiciously at you, like it wanted to know what the fuck you were doing. You peered at Blue-Eyes over the stallion's back. "Gimme a leg up?"

Legolas flushed and stared at you blankly. "If that is one of your vulgar insults, I swear to Illuvatar..."

A laugh escaped your throat. "No! Hell no! It means help me up, you moron!"

A sweet smile crossed Blue-Eye's features. "Well, then, come here, mellon nin, and I will aid you." He interlaced his fingers together as he bent down, allowing you to grip both ends of the saddle, step into his hand, and haul yourself up. You nearly fell off the other side, but just managed to catch yourself before you made yourself look like a complete idiot in front of Blue-Eyes, who noticed your struggle but said nothing, to your sweet relief.

Elros trotted through camp on his palomino, saying "Und wendo'hein!"

Legolas mounted his dapple-gray, and looked you up and down. "You are not sitting correctly." He told you, and reached over to pull your shoulders back. "Your shoulders need to make a line to your ankles in the stirrups."

You rolled your eyes sarcastically. "Great, now you sound like my collection of Young Rider magazines."

"Your what?" Legolas looked almost offended.

"It's basically a book only about twenty pages long made of cheap paper and filled with random tidbits of information. This series I started collecting when I was eight or nine, then continued until I was about twelve, thirteen... I had a lot of them. I loved horses."

Blue-Eyes furrowed his brow. "Did you have one?"

You scoffed. "In my world, you either have to be rich like Saddle Club or own a farm like Racing Stripes. Or, by some miracle get saved by a badass black Arabian stallion on a desert island." You smiled cheekily at him. "Which, by the way, your facial structure really reminds me of an Arabian horse's. Dished, kinda. And perfect and majestic and all that shit."

Blue-Eyes just looked like he was suddenly being attacked by a pack of savage wargs and he wasn't quite sure what to do. You grinned, and did the first thing all of the books and movies you'd read as a kid had taught you: gently tap your heels into the horse's flanks, and carefully guide their head with the reins. Starlight tossed his head, eager to get moving at a faster pace, and nickered softly as he started off at a walk. Legolas beamed at you as he rode beside you. "Well well, Sairen, it seems you are a natural at riding a horse. Perhaps the blood of the Eldar is finally starting to take a hold of you."

"Not quite," Said a new voice, and Lindir rode up on a sleek bay with a mischievous smile. "Suilad, Legolas! [Y/N]! Your Elvish is improving, but you still need to learn more."

You slumped in the saddle. "Augh, man, do I have to?"

Legolas and Lindir grinned wickedly at each other. "Ai, Lindir, man í lú?"

"Ú, Legolas. Eithro, ci maer?"

"Ni maer, mellon nin, ni maer."

So for a whole five or six hours on the trip, you got bombarded on either side by Blue-Eyes and Lindir trying to teach you Sindarin. At the end of the day, the Elvenqueen asked you for another story, so you told her the first one that popped into your head that you could honestly remember most of: Alladin's Lamp. It had been your favorite fairytail as a child, and while it was meant for younger audiences, the Elves enjoyed it just as much.

Then, Thorin asked to see you again. He asked about your world, and what it was like, and you were happy to get to know them, even if you were an Elf now.

And that's how it went, for the next few weeks. Unfortunately, at some point you'd run out of memorized storybooks, so you focused on myths from various mythologies, and then, even movies. 300 seemed to be a favorite of Thorin's, who overheard, but the Elves were especially interested in Gods of Egypt and The Hunger Games, and the Jedi from Star Wars. When you ran out of that material (It was a long trip with long nights, because apparently Elves didn't really get the concept of sleep.), you even switched to games; Darksiders and The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim got their attention, as did The Legend of Zelda.

But of all the damned stories you told them, they seemed most interested in Shakespeare, of all things. You only barely remembered reading Midsummer Night's Dream out of curiosity, but Romeo and Juliet, thankfully, everybody knew the gist of. Thanks to a certain Tom Hiddleston, you knew Coriolanus by heart, so that one wasn't too hard of a story to tell, and neither was (Onc you finally got them off of Shakespeare.) Pirates of the Caribbean, a classic for you, which, one of the characters, now that you thought of it... Will Turner... You couldn't quite remember his face, or Balian's from Kingdom of Heaven, which they all really liked, especially Legolas.

Eventually, the queen dubbed you Taleweaver, which you thought sounded pretty cool, but also a little nerve-wracking, because what if you ran out of stories to tell? You forced yourself to be casual. No worries. You were a writer, after all, just... Now your audience consisted of fantasy people instead of Tumblr bloggers.

No pressure.

One day, Legolas approached you alone as you groomed Starlight. "Yo," You said, s'upping him. "S'up?"

Blue-Eyes looked like you'd just thrown something at him. "Man?" You rolled your eyes. "Galu, mellon, galu. What is it?"

Legolas scoffed. "My mother has declared only a small party of us, including the dwarves, shall scout ahead and see if we can find their trail. Of the party is myself, Elros, Erestor, Haldir, and... you."

You pointed to yourself. "M...Me? The queen specifically requested me to go with you?" You narrowed your eyes suspiciously. "Whhhhhhyyyyyyy???"

Blue-Eyes glared at you as he stroked Starlight's muzzle. "It is nothing out of the ordinary. You wish to prove yourself to my father, do you not? I would like for you to stay in the Mirkwood as well, Sairen, so do not disappoint me."

"Well," You looked up at Starlight's face. "No pressure, right?"

Legolas smiled cheekily. "Not at all." He patted your back. "We begin at dawn tomorrow. Meet me by Starlight once you've woken, and we shall begin." He walked away, but half-turned to call out, "Do not be late!"

You nodded in exasperation, but as soon as he was gone, sighed and placed your face on Starlight's neck. "Mission," You hissed under your breath, just really wishing Lord Fabulous didn't have to be such a jackass. "Impossible."

Tag List:

@hauntedsiriel @tesserphantom @liviaolivia @dumbladores @littlefrenchfryesblog @hibernatingmadhatter @reclusive-chicken-nugget @naryamirie @legolasdeserveslove @escapingthoughtsandsecrets @sagabriar @brushwood-souls @taurlel

If anyone else wants to be tagged, just let me know! And let me know if I missed anyone, too... O-O

Le leich= You’re sweet

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polandspringz · 4 years ago

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Director’s Cut of My Fic “I’d Rather Be Dry” Part 2 (Chapter 3)

Chapter 3 was probably the most painful chapter of a fic I’ve ever had to write, and not because I was sad writing the sad scenes. No, this fic was physically painful to write because it took 3 days and I was struggling to sit down and write it the entire time because even though I had the whole thing planned out, I just felt like I was dragging through it and eventually had to change some things to speed it up a bit. Still, it ended up being the longest chapter because I had to tie up so many loose ends! Luckily for me, my beta-reader @primal-shitposts read it through for me again, so I didn’t have to suffer again!!! If you want to support not only me but my beta-reader who makes sure my fic lacks grammar errors (and also gives you this great commentary on these types of posts), please go to their art blog @primal-interstellar and give their artwork some love!!! They deserve it after slogging through this mess of a fic for a game they don’t even play.

Since there are a lot of funny quotes from this proof-read, I’ll post them all under read more. Beta-reader (Primal) is in pink. If you see blue text, that’s me typing stuff in frantically before she skipped to the next line:

I actually originally wrote the opening scene with Satan in a lot more detail. It dropped us in the present where he was in the office, and Diavolo and everyone was just looking on as he slowly ran out of energy. But, I got about 3 pages in and realized it was dragging and so I cut it and swapped it for a flashback on the walk home.

While I intended for this to be a much more dramatic anime scene of Satan just silent as he ran out of steam and could barely move his arms save for slapping the guy, I love this interpretation.

I CAN’T EXPLAIN WHY BUT THIS WAS THE FUNNIEST COMMENT IN THE DOCUMENT. NOTHING TOPPED THIS. I DON’T UNDERSTAND BUT IT’S SO OUT OF LEFT FIELD IT HAD ME DYING

Primal knows about Lucifer birthing Satan because the moment I started playing the game I made her watch a crack video with me that mentioned it. Although I know she likes Leviathan cause sea monsters, I’m convinced Satan might be one of her favorites. On a side note, writing dialogue for Satan is very hard because he is very proper but when he snaps, I always feel unsure of whether it sounds believable or just like a string of curses that a twelve year old would think sounds cool. 😎 I do like the father/son dynamic Lucifer and Satan hint at though (and from what I hear the new lessons might be adding on to that? oWO)

I honestly don’t know how the demons who attacked MC aren’t dead yet. They’re basically disfigured and then Satan just doubled the damage and then tripled it in the council room this chapter. Somehow they’re not dead though! I wonder what MC will have to say about their punishment...

QUICK, SOMEONE DRAW SATAN WITH THE CRAFTING TABLE STARING AT THE DOOR WHILE THE EQUATIONS FLY BY HIS HEAD

I did choose the “yes” option when Beel asked to eat me in the animal event. It was not because of vore though, but I do make many vore jokes. I could imagine MC being forced to explain vore to Lucifer (or all the brothers) after making a joke and them being confused. Writing Beel’s breakdown this chapter wasn’t initially planned, and it was sort of what really started to make writing this fic slow down because as you might notice throughout the fic, I suddenly felt the need to give every brother an equal amount of screen time which sort of led to me RUNNING OUT OF VERBS for how to make each breakdown unique.

Okay, so the next part. I was actively seeing the comments as they popped up, but there was a delay with the comment box on the side appearing before the actual comments in the text. So, I saw this:

And had two seconds to go “Oh no” before this was added:

From here on it was chaos.

Listen, the boys are idiots. They’re all concerned, Mammon just doesn’t want MC to get upset again. In reality, this sort of dialogue stemmed more from me still lingering on the original idea of the fic. The original concept of this fic (when it was just a one-shot) was MC still getting attacked by a demon in the locker-room showers (for their soul) but because I was originally thinking about a female reader, I knew that it could have more of an undertone for sexual assault. I actually first discussed the fic idea with Primal months back when I first got into Obey Me, because I wanted to write a snippet of each brother helping MC after the event (it wasn’t going to be extreme, I was thinking more accidental scratches during the scuffle closer to the chest and such and maybe the assailants having more dialogue demeaning MC for being around the 7 brothers all the time) but I realized I didn’t have much experience with that and it would make writing scenes that I thought about (such as Asmo wanting to give MC a bath as aftercare) difficult as I could see someone after an attack like that not wanting to be in a bathroom with someone else or be vulnerable to them. I ended up playing with that idea in my previous Mammon fic with more different comfort aspects and touching on that kind of assault briefly, so this fic ended up just being focused on the brothers’ being upset over what happened to MC.

As much as writing Satan’s angry dialogue is a pain, I have fun making him talk with a more formal tone, it’s closer to how I normally talk, and prefer to write my characters talking. I have no problem writing contractions or more casual speech, but for one of my fantasy stories, where I’m writing in English but trying to differentiate different languages through italics or just whether they use certain contractions or not, I tend to really stress the characters that use absolutely zero and more complicated synonyms.

I DON’T KNOW WHY BUT IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS IF MC JUST ASKED FOR SOUP OUT OF THE BLUE I’M IMAGINING ASMO BEING LIKE “BITCH I TOOK ALL THIS TIME DEBATING OVER HOT OR COLD TEA AND NOW YOU’RE SAYING YOU’RE FINE WITH HOT SOUP???”

I know the shower idea may have been really corny or cringey. I know a lot of people write things like the water in Devildom as being much hotter (cause their near hell and their demons! It makes sense, also I think Asmo might have mentioned in a text chat he would make the water cooler for MC? But I could be wrong) but I imagine their is some demons who aren’t powerful enough to handle a lot of the settings. Of course though, our demon bros are 7 of the highest demons in Devildom, so they’re immune.

*Slaps this comment* Congrats, Primal. You just summarized the entire chapter.

I find Leviachan to be such a funny nickname, mainly because writing any dialogue for Levi makes me cringe because while I was a VERY big weeaboo in elementary and middle school, I was so lucky I never hit his stage of acting like an otaku. While it’s charming, having to type him in more modern fic is even more painful because it’s like “oh god he actually goes into the real world and talks like this). Sidenote, I always mispronounce Levi’s name when I’m talking about him, mainly because I have to remember so many anime characters where their name is pronounced Lee-Vai or I just think of the brand of jeans (fashion major brain). So, whenever I’m talking out loud about him to someone, I have to stop and be like, “Levi... Leviachan...Leviathan...” because that “a” sound corrects my brain to how it’s supposed to be.

*throws confetti again* Believe I felt the pain of this fic dragging through every boy going back on their character development I had given them but I felt it was only fair that each of them got time with MC. As the tag on archive says, “everybody gets time to shine with MC”. (I really just want to write Barbatos’ scene for chapter 4 though)

This scene was hard to write because I wanted Levi to get closure on the scene with MC, but I couldn’t have him straight up kabedon them because then he would be cornering them and I thought that would be too much like what MC went through in the shower. Although I didn’t write anyone in explicitly summarizing what happened to MC, and Levi saw the least of it, I think he’s seen enough series depicting it to know that cornering them would be bad, but he still wants to show that he loves them and cares about them. Also, when I was writing this, I remember just going through a counter of who got the most smooches in chapter 3. Originally only Mammon was going to get 2, putting him in the lead above everyone who got 1, but then I felt back for giving Levi the least screen time and just gave him 3.

Honestly, chapter 3 really took a turn for a more intimate chapter??? Especially with Asmo’s one-on-one scene with MC, it was all downhill from there. I have noticed with quarantine, my writing has become more focused on touch (if you read any of my Balance:Unlimited fics or even my Mammon fic, you would definitely die if you tried to do a drinking game with the number of times someone TOUCHES the other gently). It’s just an unfortunate projection issue that comes with writing.

And here is complete chaos. I had blocked this game from my memory and then I was forced to remember it right here.

Removing these meme images from the fic text will be tedious, and painful. But, I am preserving them here. (I type up these directors’ cuts before publishing the final version of the fic, so I don’t lose the comments)

I’m not even at lesson 16 yet, but based on all the spoilers I read, watched, and scene for research purposes, I’m pretty sure it was more of a-

This is what writing 11k+ words for one chapter worth it. The final read through I get to enjoy things like this.

I wish Belphie was 7′2″. 😳 I like Beel but Belphie is one of my favs. Ironically enough he was the one who skipped this fic. (I’ll make it up to you one day, Belphie fans.... will we ever know what they talked about and what made Belphie cry? Personally, I think it’s like the iceberg effect Hemingway talked about, and says more under the surface... it’s totally not because I got burned out, lolololol.... 🤭)

I WAS ACCIDENTALLY FEEDING DIALUCI STANS but again, if you’ve read my Mammon fic, you probably know my true thoughts on Diavolo and Lucifer’s relationship. This fic is so MC focused, I wasn’t intending to write it in so much, Diavolo was just supposed to order Lucifer to go home, that’s it. But, I got rejuvenated when I hit Lucifer’s scene, because I knew it was the homestretch for the chapter! I really played up a Hamilton reference accidentally, having the “Go home” line repeated, because it just felt like the vibe the scene was getting at. I am hoping to explore Diavolo and Lucifer’s relationship more in my modern au fic, Siberia.

I hate tumblr because if I attach a link in the initial post, this won’t appear in the tag, but Primal’s comment here made me think of this art I saw of Lucifer and Satan the other day by ObsessiveAlice (I don’t want to tag them because they’ll be so confused by this long unrelated post! But I’ll put the link to their art in the notes/replies on this post, so check them out!!!)

I know it wasn’t the most romantic kiss but again I WAS RUNNING OUT OF WAYS TO MAKE THE BROTHERS HAVE UNIQUE SCENES SO I GOT DESPERATE.

And that’s the end!!! Again, if you liked the fic, more than giving me a like or reblog, please go check out Primal’s wonderful artwork @primal-interstellar !!! She does a lot of great oc work and it needs more recognition!!! Almost all of my fics would never get posted without her help, so please, please, please show her support! (She has an animatic she just made which I will also link in the replies!!! Please give that love too!!!)

Anyway, if you made it to the end, I don’t know if you got a laugh out of this, but I hope you enjoyed the fic commentary somewhat! I was going to post chapter 3+4 at the same time like I did the prior chapters, but chapter 3 took so long I had to just lay on my floor for 3 hours earlier today to take a break from it, lol. Luckily, I’m very excited for chapter 4, so it shouldn’t take as long!!!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me mc #obey me masters #writing #my writing #fanfic #fic #obey me fic #directors cut

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #293

“your head upon a stick would look really sick, but they would call me crazy for the way i spoke to it”

Hey bitch, what's your fucking name? What a start, jc lmao. Brittany. What color are your nails? They're not painted. Last time you got some ass? Well this survey's gonna be a journey. Many years ago. Do your parents like your style/music choices? Yeah, at least most of it. Some music my mom really doesn't like or just hates, while I can't even imagine Dad's reaction to some bands I enjoy. Ever seen your parents make out? tbh would rather slam my ankle on a Razor scooter. What's your dream height and weight? Forget about my height, if I could just be at least 120 again... Do you put your hair up a lot or down? It's too short to put up. Most of the time do you straighten or curl your hair? Neither. What do you do when your house loses power? Light a bunch of candles and carry flashlights. What piercing do you hate? I'm not a fan of cheek piercings. Were you raised in a religious house? Yes. I grew up going to Sunday school and church, even though I hated both. Do your parents get mad when you're on the computer for hours? Gah... it was a very, very big source of argumentative fuel between Mom and me all the way up to my late teenage years when she just gave up; now, it's to be expected and is completely "normal." I always wanted to be on the computer once I was introduced to it; she tried to limit my time on it, and it was without fail what she would take away whenever I was grounded. I'd even sneak onto it when I wasn't allowed to if she wasn't home and Dad was in their room. My mom really did try to keep me from being hooked on technology, she really did, it just didn't work, but dear god I wish it did. I just about turn into a caveman without some form of it, and it's pretty pathetic. Dad meanwhile has never really cared much, but he'd make a comment here and there that would make me self-conscious about it. Have you ever been asked for a nude picture? No, and guess who would be ignored for the rest of their lives if they did. It's so fucking disrespectful and objectifying to me. If someone wants to send a partner something like that by their own volition, that's cool, but asking, that just seems incredibly rude to me and turns the person into an object of lust. Ever been so scared you pissed? Caaan't say I have. Can you watch scary movies at night and not be scared? Yeah, they've never really fazed me. Last reason you got your cell taken away? I actually don't know if that's ever happened, given the aforementioned computer thing. I was never hooked on my phone. Could you handle working on a farm? Nooooo, that is way too much physical exertion. Have you ever been attacked by an animal? No. Have you ever had to put an animal to sleep? ugh Do you have a favorite type of firework? Well, visually I really just like the big colorful ones, but I don't endorse the use of fireworks anymore. Some animals literally die from fear, they can be seriously upsetting to veterans with PTSD (you could have one in your neighborhood and never know you indirectly gave them a panic attack), and they're a large source of litter. Where would/did you get your first tattoo? My right wrist. What's your favorite kind of pet? Snakes. Favorite dinosaur? Spinosaurus is obviously the coolest. It's always been my fave. How many pets do you have? Sigh, just two. Our landlord doesn't want us to get anymore pets than what we came in with. What were two of your favorite Disney movies as child? The Lion King and Finding Nemo. They're still my favorite Disney movies. When carving pumpkins, how do you decide what you're going to do? I haven't carved a pumpkin in years... so idk. Do you own any art supplies? Some, yeah. Do you believe you have a higher IQ than most? Definitely not. What is the name of the doctor that delivered you? I have no clue. Mom knows him for sure because she's mentioned him from my childhood, but I don't. Have you ever seen a Lamborghini in person? Hunny, I live in rural North Carolina. You don't see that level of bougie here lmao. Shane Dawson: funny or annoying? I honestly think he's fucking hilarious. I just have such conflicting feelings about him after "the drama," hearing so many people's opinions (particularly from those who know him so well, like his fiance and Ryland's sister), fact checking, audio cutting and mixing, the whole "people change" philosophy... I don't know. When you have a container of Neapolitan ice cream, what flavor do you leave for last? I ain't touchin' strawberry. Gross. If you could choose to have any superpower ever, what would you pick? I'd wanna be a shapeshifter/druid. What would you be more embarrassed to buy: sex toys or adult diapers? Yikes, sex toys. Given my age, I'd say if I bought adult diapers, people would assume they weren't for me. I'm awkward enough with all things relating to sex to begin with, so. What’s the biggest animal you’ve ever killed? Yo wtf I never have and never will (intentionally) kill an animal. Well, correction: I've killed bugs before, the biggest probably being some spider or something, but I really try to avoid this now. Could you win the Hunger Games? lol hell to the fuck no, have you seen me??? For you, would getting amnesia be a good thing? ... Maybe? Not saying I wanna find out, though. Have you ever been punched in the face? No, plan on keeping it that way. Is morality universal or relative? I question this myself. Who is your favorite late night talk show host? I don't have one. Where do you put your keys when you get home? They stay in my purse. Do you prefer hot coffee or iced coffee? Neither. The sheer variety of questions relating to coffee and tea in surveys boggles my mind, always feel left out that I can't answer 'em lmao. What’s your phone background picture? My lock screen is this pretty, soft aesthetic screen that has "i am strong, i am loved, i am enough" written in the center. I've really needed it for my mental health lately. My home screen is some meerkats. I know, can you believe neither are currently Mark? Have you ever seen a snake in the wild? Plenty. How do you cope with anxiety? Deep breathing, mindfulness and grounding exercises, confiding in my mom, listening to music (usually my favorite calm, instrumental soundtracks, like from the Silent Hill franchise - particularly the second game! - or Shadow of the Colossus), try to nap, play a game as a distraction, watch my favorite YouTubers (typically something funny)... I'm lucky to have learned a lot. Now, if only I could cope with social anxiety... What was the last takeout food you ate? Oh Jesus, how embarrassing is this timing, seeing as it was one of my unhealthiest fast food orders: Son of the Baconator and Baconator fries from Wendy's. It was so fuckin good tho. Who makes you laugh the most? My friend Girt. What does a successful relationship look like to you? One with great communication and total honesty, and when you are able to build each other up and bring out the best in your partner. It's also imperative for you to feel safe being your authetic safe for me to consider it "successful." What do you like to put on your baked potato? "Salt, pepper, butter, cheese, bacon bits." <<<< That's how we do it, lads. What was the most memorable birthday you’ve had? My 16th, but not for good reasons. Would you rather go to the beach or the mountains? That's easy as hell, mountains. I don't like the beach. Do you look in the mirror before you leave the house? Yeah. Not gonna like what I see no matter what, but I'd like to make sure I don't look worse whan what's normal. Have you ever seen someone quit their job in a dramatic way? No. What do you like to dip your fries in? It varies between ketchup and honey mustard. What’s your favorite kind of museum? Science. Do you believe in alternate universes? Nah, I don't think so. Whose house did you last visit? My older sister's. What games do you play on your smart phone? Mostly just Pokemon GO nowadays. I haven't touched Dragons of Atlantis in a long time... Do you know anyone who is colorblind? Jason's older brother is red/green colorblind, I think? Are you the youngest, middle or eldest child in your family? Middle. What’s something you’ve been meaning to do but keep putting off? Ugh, I need to finish decorating my damn room... Got most of the stuff on the walls now, but it's still pretty skeletal in self expression. My motivation is abysmal. Have you ever flown a kite? Oh yeah, I loved to fly a kite with Dad as a little kid when the tobacco field just across the road was barren. Who was the last person you talked about sex/relationships with? My doctor. How many brothers does your father have? I'm almost certain he doesn't have one, just one sister. Do you think you act older or younger than your actual age? It depends on the situation. When it comes to "adulting," I don't have a fuckin clue what I'm doing. I doubt anyone would believe I'm a month shy of 25. In terms of general maturity, I think I act my age, if not older. When was the last time you swam in a pool? It's been years. What are your parents' views on your relationships? Mom is always very supportive so long as they treat me right; she's taken to all my previous partners very well and treated them like family, too. My dad is also supportive as long as I'm treated properly and happy. Is your best friend dating anyone? No. Have you ever babysat before? Twice, but not really willingly. Way too stressful. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook? It took a very, very long time, but all pictures with Jason are forever deleted. Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know? Not a huge crush, no. Ever watched porn? No. You do you, but I don't see the appeal of watching some random people fuck. Ever performed in a talent show? No. Would you audition for a reality talent competition? Nope. How many celebrity crushes have you had? I'd say Jesse McCartney, Link Neal, and Mark Fischbach are my only BIG celeb crushes I've had. How many non-celebrity crushes have you had? I dunno, don't feel like reaching back and counting. Ever been compared to a celebrity? Not visually, but with my adoration of animals. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? Oh, I'm sure. None that are horribly embarrassing though, or else I would have deleted them. Ever seen a therapist? I've regularly seen a therapist since the 6th grade. Ever purposely ignored a text? Yep. A Facebook message? Sure have, when I was beyond done arguing with a former friend. A friend request? No, I just decline or accept it. My page is private, so you can't see my activity, and it's not like they get notified if it's declined, Would you say you read into things too much? I am the fucking sovereign of this. If you turned out exactly like your mom would you be pleased? I love my mom to death, but no. I'd be disappointed. Ever had a credit card denied? I've never had one in the first place. Ever had the lead in a play? No. I do remember though in elementary school, I was real bummed that I wasn't Snow White for one we did for Music class. What about a solo in a concert? Never been in a concert. Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant? Well. One, she's long past menopause. Two, because of ovarian cancer, she had all those organs removed. So, that would be impossible. Have you ever had a threesome? No; I'm personally strictly monogamous and would feel it to be disloyal, even if my parnter was okay with it. What's the last game you used dice for? Not a clue. Are you interested in surfing at all? Have you ever been? No. What brand of bottled water do you prefer? Essentia. What is your favorite type of bird? Barn owls. What is your favorite chocolate candy? motherfuckin REESE'S Have you ever been called a racial slur? No, considering I'm Caucasian. Why did you last stand in line? I was at the doctor's office, I think? What is your favorite pirate movie? /shrug What is your favorite character from Orange Is the New Black? I've never watched it. What was the most unsettling film you’ve seen? Watching the ending to Paranormal Entity was VERY uncomfortable. It was a decently scary movie, but the ending was seriously intense. When was the last time you were snooping, and found something you wish you hadn’t? I don't recall. Which celebrity or band has the worst fan base? I don't know. What are you interested in that most people aren’t? The sheer degree of my love for meerkats would definitely be missed by probably most people. What smartphone feature would you actually be excited for a company to implement? I dunno. Anything I could think of, the most current products probably already have and I'm just uninformed of them. Like, I use a Tracfone lmao. What’s something people don’t worry about but really should? Their plastic usage and disposal. I'm certainly no saint when it comes to plastic either, but I try to do all I can. What movie quotes do you use on a regular basis? Hm, ARE there any? Do you think that children born today will have better or worse lives than their parents? This depends on what you consider "better" and "worse." Environmentally, I honestly don't think mankind can maintain itself for that many more generations at the rate we're currently at, so that's probably just gonna keep getting worse. On the other hand, advances in medicine and things like that will certainly continue to improve quality of life in that sense. Human rights are getting better and better. I do fear that we're becoming too comfortable with laziness and convenience, but I hope that's a decline we don't continue to venture down. What’s the funniest actual name you’ve heard of someone having? I had a college classmate named Apple. Which charity or charitable cause is most deserving of money? Oh, come on now. It's not a competition. What game have you spent the most hours playing? So. When you type /played in World of Warcraft, it will show you your total playtime, and mine is YIKES. Like, around a year's worth of time of pure playing since 2014, I think. What’s the most comfortable bed or chair you’ve ever been in? I don't recall. What’s the hardest you’ve ever worked? When I did WiiFit religiously and lost around 40 pounds in HS. I was in the best shape of my life. What movie, picture, or video always makes you laugh no matter how often you watch it? Oh, there's certainly something. Probably some Unus Annus clip. That channel was a fucking blessing and a curse all the same. If you could have an all-expenses paid trip to see any famous world monument, which monument would you choose? Oh boy, I'd have to think, but probably somewhere in Rome or Greece. What’s the coldest you’ve ever been? I'm unsure. Probably jumping in the pool as a kid. My sisters and I would nag Dad to put the pool up on like the very first day of spring, so of course it was cold, but as a kid, I didn't mind that. What’s the most ridiculous thing you have bought? Hm. What’s the most depressing meal you’ve eaten? Ha ha yiiiikes, struggle foods... I don't know, but I've had some. What outdoor activity haven’t you tried, but would like to? Herping, though I change my mind on-and-off about it. I'm not very into the idea of disturbing wildlife just because they're cool and you wanna check them out. I'd totally go exploring with a camera, though, and not actually pick anything up. If you were given five million dollars to open a small museum, what kind of museum would you create? Hm... I actually think something like an art museum for the mentally ill would be pretty interesting and educational? Even something that could build empathy. Maybe mix some psychology in there to understand conditions.

#survey #surveys #questions #questionnaire #lyrics: ''apex predator'' by otep

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shigarakis-fifth-hand · 5 years ago

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Ok picture this. Thief!Uraraka x Rich!Reader. And it's as angsty as possible? Like Uraraka really out here just looking for that coin, ya know? She didn't come to play!

Warning: Cursing, smut~ish, major angst, thoughts of suicide, kissing, gayness, cuteness overload

Uraraka sat in the kitchen, eating the last Christmas cookie in the entire building. “Ugh, I don’t see why you don’t want to go to your parents for the Holidays! I love your mom! We’ve gone to my family’s house for the past three years.” Kirishima argued as he and Bakugo carried their suitcases down the stairs. “No! You’re mom makes the best food for Christmas, and we get the pool house all to ourselves! Do you realize how much fucking we can do?!” Bakugo slapped Kirishima’s ass, unaware that Ochako was in the room.

“Plus, we agreed that your mom does Thanksgiving and Christmas with the cooking. My mom does Halloween and the fourth of July with the decorations and explosions.” Bakugo kissed Kirishima before they walked back upstairs to get more of the luggage.

“Todoroki! Say hi to my mom!” Izuku yelled, running up to him with a phone in his hand as Todoroki walked down the other hallway. “Hi Inko!” Todoroki smiled as Uraraka saw Izuku’s mom on the screen. “Oh Todo, Bora Bora is lovely! Make sure to thank your sister for allowing me to use the family vacation house!” Inko exclaimed as the two boys nodded, smiled, and then hung up the phone. “Now, Touya is going to be here soon so let’s move!”

Todoroki grinned, taking all the luggage in his hands as they walked, not letting Deku carry any of it.

Uraraka smiled, happy for her friends who were doing things over their holiday break. Her on the other hand... would be at the dorms alone. She was the only one in 1-A who didn’t want to go home. Her parents would be working their tail off, and she would just be forced to lug around heavy boxes, sweep, and do their office management for two weeks straight like she did every year. She would never tell anyone that though... how embarrassing.

“Ochako!” She heard behind her, turning around to look at you. “You were on the phone with your parents while holding your LV purse. Your Gucci slides shined on your feet, and the diamond earrings you had been given by Todoroki glimmered in the light. You were everything Ochako wished she could be.

You were an icon for a boss bitch, a model, powerful, brilliant, gorgeous... and as rich as someone could get. Sure Uraraka had the biggest crush, but more than not she wanted to be you. The luckiest human alive.

Your father, Endeavor Todoroki, and Tensei Iida been rivals growing up, eventually becoming pro heroes and starting their own agencies. Of all of them, your father had grown to become a millionaire by going to America instead of Tokyo, and starting his agency there where the competition was pitiful.

That had led to your family becoming one of the most wealthiest in all of Tokyo, above the Yaoyorozus and Iidas. In fact, you, Iida, and Momo had been close friends since toddler age.

“Yes Y/n?” Ochako responded, coming out of her trance. “My mom says I should invite a friend to our beach house. I know you said you didn’t want to go anywhere for the Holidays, but would you? My modeling agency is sponsoring our trip so we can get massages, go snorkeling, you know. All that fun stuff.” Ochako perked up more as you explained. “W-where is it?” She asked excitingly. “Ever heard of Hawaii? My dad’s main office is there.” Ochako hopped off the barstool and smiled brightly.

“Sure! I’d love to go!” She hugged you before running to go pack her things. “Wait, I don’t have any bathing suits!” She yelled back as you just rolled your eyes, still on the phone with your parents. “Yes Daddy, email them about my plus one. Just borrow mine, I have a few you can use. No Daddy, it’s not a boy, it’s Ururaka.” You winked at her as she ran upstairs, hurrying as fast as she could as if you would leave her.

Once her bags with packed, Ochako came back to the room to see you on the phone still. She sat down, choosing to watch you adoringly and letting you finish your call. “Yes Claire, I’m having a couples massage with my bestie on the third, and snorkeling on the thirtieth. Now don’t get that screwed up with my photoshoot the sixth, and the fireworks for New Years. Yes, the maid went to the house earlier.”

As you continued, she stared at you. Wow, she’s so... impressive. If only I could have a sliver of that... power. Or you. Honestly, you seemed to get more attractive as Ochako stared at you. ‘If only I could use this to help my family... I’m so god damn scared of what’s going to happen. Mom isn’t working, and Dad might have cancer. What can I do? I’m a student taking classes at UA full time. There’s no time to work!’ Ochako thought deeply, stressing out.

“Phew, I’m glad that’s over! Just called my manager to schedule our break.” You grabbed her bags happily, carrying them to the car outside. “Wonderful! My sister is waiting at the airport with our jet! Then we can zip over the Hawaii and get this party started!” Ochako found herself shaking as you two entered the large black car.

...

Walking out of the airport, Ochako found herself woozy. That’s what sleeping for 15 hours straight did to you after all. Of course... you looked beautiful. You had been drinking hot water with lemon the entire time, had moisturized every half hour, and had taken only four naps, being half an hour long each.

You were literally the perfect human being, while Ochako had helped herself to your plane’s supply of cake and soda while watching videos on her phone.

“Look! There he is!” You pointed to the boy wearing only rainbow swim trunks and sunglasses standing on top of the blue Jeep. “Andrew! Babe!” You ran and hugged him. “Chance, this is my friend Uraraka. Ochako, this is Chance, one of the models I’m working with for the company’s LGBT campaign!” Ochako perked up, staring at you. You... liked girls??? She... had a chance?

“You bet it! Hop in ladies!” With ease, you lifted Ochako into the Jeep and followed her in. While you were driving, Ochako couldn’t help but relax greatly. The sea breeze and smell of the ocean salt consumed her, almost making her forget all her problems. But she couldn’t forget all her problems... she had promised her mom that she would fix everything by the new year.

And here she was... going to party while she ignored her family.

“Here we are!” As you pulled in, Ochako almost passed out. “You like it? Daddy got it remodeled it last Spring. It has two pools, a hot tub, an amazing view, and of course... the beach is only a few steps away!” You exclaimed, taking your bags in and upstairs to your room. Ochako had her breath taken away completely.

“You... live here? Like... you own this place?” Ochako found herself dying over the marble everything, the flowers everywhere, the splashes of color from the expensive art, and the views outside. “Don’t be silly. This is only our vacation home! Daddy lives here sometimes while he’s recovering from injuries since he stays in America, but Mom and I stay in Japan. I obviously live at UA.” You smiled, walking out to the balcony from your bedroom. “Oh, I almost forgot! Here, you can choose whatever you want!”

You opened the closet to reveal a room the size of Ochako’s bedroom. Filled to the brim with clothes, shoes, jewelry, mirrors, and led lights. “Over the years of modeling I get a bunch of cute clothes! You should only imagine how much I have from when I did child modeling. Oh, and here! Pick out some jewelry for tonight. We can totally play dress up while we’re on vacay. We have to look famous, right?” You laughed, hugging Ochako while walking out of the closet.

“Oh, and the purse rack is to your left! We can use that when we go shopping or out to eat! I have a bunch of LV so you can use one! I never use them anymore!” You giggled, smiling as you looked back at the view. “Pick out what you want to wear tonight, and a bathing suit for night swimming at the pool! I’ll go downstairs and give the chef recommendations! Any ideas?” You asked, sticking your head in the doorway. “N-n-nope!” Ochako called out as you ran downstairs.

Ochako’s eyes led to the big case of jewelry. It had so many gold chains, so many rings. Dozens and dozens of real pearl earrings. “I can’t... no. I have to.” She grabbed two pairs of pearl earrings, a gold chain, two rings that both had diamonds, and then a pair of heels. You were a size 8, but these were a size four. They were Ochako’s mom’s size.

Without thinking, Ochako shoved them into her bag and zipped it back up. In the heat of the moment, Ochako looked around, desperate for more. She had found her solution! Steal from the rich and give to the poor! She easily had just taken over 5k from you, and you probably wouldn’t even blink. You would never suspect her, right? Of course you wouldn’t. You two had been flirting with each other since you met. You trusted her.

Ochako stopped herself, slapping herself in the face. “W-what are you doing? She trusts you! You fricking like her you dumb idiot!” She yelled at herself, looking around. No, she had to help her family, even a little bit. Just little things you wouldn’t even bat an eye at.

She took a ten dollar bill under your desk, stuffed the pencil pouch you had gotten from Italy, and easily slipped a Gucci perfume bottle into her bag. “Hey, Ochako!” Uraraka turned around to see you smiling ear-to-ear. “Happy early Christmas!” You held out your hand, revealing a tiny box. “H-huh?” She exclaimed, slowly taking it from you and gasping. Inside was a simple silver ring, polished and perfectly fitting for her small finger. “It’s a promise ring.” You walked closer to her.

“As to promise that once we become heroes, we will remain friends.” Ochako stepped closer to you, staring at your lips. “And... maybe...” Ochako couldn’t finish her sentence as you two slammed your lips into each other. The kiss was hot and passionate, as if it was releasing all the thoughts you two had had for four years straight of having to resist. “God, once I found out you were gay.” You kissed Ochako’s neck as she tried to talk, moaning in between words. “Once he said LGBT, I knew I had to...” She moaned again, turning you on. You bent her on the bed, running kisses up and down her neck.

As Ochako was about to remove her shirt, you stopped her. “Let’s save that for after dinner.” You winked, leaving her feeling teased. “So, what are we Y/n?” She asked, blushing from what you had just said. “Well it depends. I’ll be whatever you want me to be. Just say the word.” You moved closer as she sat on your bed, getting closer and closer. “Be my girlfriend Y/n.” She whispered as you smiled, slowly kissing her lips.

“Well then I guess that ring is more than a friendship ring. What do you think it means?” You asked, kissing her neck tenderly again. “I... don’t know. Once we have so many responsibilities next year, let’s stay together. Promise to make time for each other... and one day, settle down.” You sucked her neck extra hard as she said that. “We’re getting out of UA soon Y/n. Maybe we can move in together to... try things out.” She talked as you continued to kiss her neck.

She had to admit you turned her on like nobody else could. “Awesome. Well, dinner is about ready. How about we go down and... introduce you to my family. I’m sure they’d love to meet my new... girlfriend. First, let’s get changed.” You walked over to your closet and pulled out an outfit you had prepared beforehand. A white t-shirt and black jeans, cute and tomboyish.

“Oh, and I promise not to peek.” You winked, before facing away with your back to Uraraka. Ochako picked out a pink sweater and black skirt, thinking as she put it on. Is this wrong? Of course it is. But wouldn’t it be worse to deny this love for her and steal from her? At least she’s happy, look at her. The poor thing will never know, and eventually... you’ll forget all about it. Just... no more stealing.

But as time went on, Ochako found herself being the happiest she had ever been. She woke up to you two full-on making out in bed for at least half an hour, then would spend the entire day watching you model, then you two would eat, swim, walk around, and vacation. Of course... the days started to end even better. Nighttime was when you two couldn’t contain yourselves. There was a hot tub on the balcony right outside of your room, so you two couldn’t help yourself. Surely, you two had found yourselves naked while kissing once or twice. Sure you two were going fast, but Hawaii set the mood so much, and you two were so excited to release all the sexual tension from the past four years

Of course, Ochako also found herself getting more greedy as she adapted to the rich lifestyle. She slipped one of the nice soap dispensers, took one of you dad’s pairs of expensive sunglasses, stole another ten dollar bill she found under your bed, and had somehow managed to slip a Gucci robe from when you were six into her bag. It was stuffed to the brim, but she needed more. Her family would die if she didn’t.

Then, things turned for the worst that one night. “Ochako, let’s go night swimming!” You called out, reaching for her hand. “But I’m not wearing a bathing suit!” She yelled out instantly, still looking at herself in the mirror. You had straighten her hair, and she liked it. “Exactly.” You whispered into her ear as she grinded into you. “Okay then.” She responded, smiling as you two began to walk to the hot tub as you removed your shirt slowly, Ochako watching your every move. That was until you tripped over Ochako’s bag, falling to the ground. Along the way, a shatter could be heard from inside the bag.

“Ochakie, I’m so sorry. What did I break?” Ochako blushed at the nickname you had given her, before realizing what you were doing. As you opened the bag, your eyes widened. Inside was your old Gucci robe, your new perfume, your soap dispenser, your dad’s sunglasses, and your old shoes along with a bunch of jewelry.

Immediately your face turned bright red, looking up at her. “You...” You murmured angrily, standing up as she started crying. “I fucking trust you with everything and you stole from me!?” You yelled, not feeling bad at all. “You don’t understand! My family needs the money! They’re going to die if I don’t do something!” Ochako yelled, trying to defend herself. In an instant, you took out your wallet, slipping out five hundred-dollar bills and throwing them in her face. “Here’s your money Uraraka! Now where’s my trust! I was so ready to give you my virginity, give you my life! I wanted a life with you Ochako!” You began crying as she turned silent. “So that’s why you came? I wanted you, you wanted my money? Is that why you came? Is that why you kissed me?” You asked as she stared at you, trying to find words.

“My dad has cancer! My mom is dying! I’m terrified Y/n! Please don’t be too mad at me! I needed all the money I could get quickly!” She yelled at you, still crying as you stopped. “Ochako, I could write you a check for a fucking hundred grand as we speak! You think that I would poor out my soul to you, but not help your fucking family?! Ochako, I gave you my trust and love! Do you know how hard that was?! But no, everyone just wants me for my money! Everyone! Even you!” Ochako tried to spill out words.

She tried to tell you that she did love you, more than anything. She tried to tell you that she was obsessed with you, and that she wanted nothing more than to have you in her life. That the past few days had been the best in her entire life because of you.

But no, all she could do was cry.

All it took was one look in your eyes, your heartbroken eyes, for her to run out of the house. Out of the house, down the small path, and to the beach. The sunset was shining brightly, shimmering against Ochako’s tears. She was so mad at herself, and the fact that she had messed up the one amazing thing she had with you. Sure, money was great, but ever heard of love? Ochako had felt it only with you, and she had ruined it. Why hadn’t she thought of asking for your help? You were a hero god dammit, one of the most generous and giving jobs in the world.

“God dammit! God Dammit! God dammit!” She kicked the sand, yelling as she stomped angrily. God... she should just throw herself into the ocean. After awhile of standing there, Ochako heard a noise behind her. “Oh dear, it’s just me. Tom and I are going to the country club’s cocktail party! We will be back around midnight sweetie. Y/n said to tell you to come inside, she’s getting worried. You crazy kids have fun!” Your mom called out as Ochako smiled before running inside and up to your room where you waited on your bed, a stuffed monkey in your life.

“You know what I love about the Indian monkeys? They’re called gibbons. Funny name right?” You asked, looking up at Ochako as she nodded. She could see the mascara streaks running down your face, and she hated herself for causing that. “See, they’re cool though. Because, even if one of the monkeys makes a mistake like getting lost or eating too much of the food, they’re with their partners for life because they trust each other.” Ochako smiled sadly, understanding what you were saying.

“When I went to India, I saw how they wouldn’t let you get close to their partners because they were protective, but if their partners walked up to you, they would allow that. It’s because they trust each other with their lives.” You got off your bed, setting the stuffed toy behind you as you walked towards your girlfriend.

“I need to be able to trust you Uraraka. When- I mean... if we get married, all of this is going to be yours. There’s no need to steal it, you’re welcome to anything. Shoes, you bet. Want to use my perfume, go ahead. Wear my clothes, eat my food, live in my house. It’s all yours because I trust you. Right now, I need you in my life. I need to be able to trust you.” Ochako buried her face into your chest.

“I’m so sorry Baby! It was the worst decision I could ever make! I got desperate and I did the worst thing imaginable! I’m so sorry!” She cried as you pulled her away. “In other news, both your parents are on my dad’s insurance and are going to start receiving medication right away. Don’t worry, my mom said they won’t have to pay a thing.

She also said they can stay in our lake house if they want, it’s only a half hour away from UA.” In an instant, Uraraka started balling, pulling you into a tight hug. “Oh my god. Oh my god.” She freaked out, holding you as tight as she could. “I owe you so much! Let me do something for you! Anything!” She begged, desperate to do something nice for you like you had done for her.

“Get on the bed Baby.”

I felt extra gay while writing this but that’s not a bad thing sooooo. Honestly I’ve never found Ochaco cute until now so dangggg, thx bby. I always love your requests they make me so happy when I get one @drbumpkin

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