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A Who-Swung-It Mystery: The Case of the Switch-Hitter (1/3)
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Despite the humorous title, I want to be serious for a second. I am not a licensed psychologist/psychiatrist/licensed social worker/etc., and I am certainly not an expert on dissociative identity disorder (DID). My knowledge of this disorder comes from the research I have done to try and understand it. I am trying to be as respectful as possible towards the subject matter, and I sincerely apologize if I show a lack of understanding and will do my best to correct it. I want to focus on switching, since we don't really have much information on Mikoto's childhood that led to him developing this disorder and I do not want to speculate. I only say childhood and not adulthood because the literature I found suggests that it is rather rare for this already rare disorder to form past the age of ten. Mikoto could be one of those special cases, but we'll have to wait and see.
Now, before you begin violently shaking me over the length of this post, just know that I am sorry about it. I want to argue that Mikotoās DID is a red herring. Despite his claims otherwise, John did not directly kill anyone, Mikoto did. Through the voice dramas and the music videos, we get to see both Mikoto and John's individual perspectives and personalities. From what we've seen in MeMe and Double and then heard during John Doe and Neoplasm, I think I figured out what happened the night of the murder.
Fun fact before the post cut: in Japanese, the kanji for baseball are combine the kanji for field and ball (éē) and is read as āKakyuā. The number nine in Japanese is read as ākyuā or ākuā and our baseball-loving prisoner, Mikoto, is prisoner number nine.
Okay, now you can begin violently shaking me.
Milgram's Very Own Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: Subverting the Evil Alter Trope
Robert Louis Stevenson's The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is a tale that lives in infamy, and here in the West, it is synonymous with dual personalities. Published in 1886, the story is meant to be an allegory regarding good and evil. Pop culture osmosis usually has it right that Dr. Jekyll accidentally created Mr. Hyde in a lab accident, but here's the thing, it's more of a happy accident than a āWell, the risk I took was calculated but man, Iām bad at math,ā one. Dr. Jekyll is a respectable, older gentleman who meant to erase his "shameful urges" (the story never explains what they are exactly, just that they go against the Victorian moral code) and accidentally created Mr. Hyde. As Mr. Hyde, Jekyll is a younger, shorter man whose only identifying feature is that everyone immediately hates him. That is not a joke. People who ran into Hyde canāt really describe him other than having the gut instinct to avoid him. But more importantly, I need you to know that Dr. Jekyll had spent most of the story voluntarily transforming himself into Mr. Hyde so he could give into those shameful urges and then used his wealth as Dr. Jekyll to sweep any trouble that arose back under the rug.
Besides being physically different, the main difference between Jekyll and Hyde is that Hyde lacks Jekyll's morals and inhibitions. Jekyll delights in the freedom he can experience as Hyde, until as Hyde, he beats a man to death with a cane. A few months before the murder, Jekyll had started to realize that he did not have as much control over Hyde as he previously thought and went two months without drinking the transformation tonic. As Jekyll puts it, in a moment of weakness, (yes, it reads like an allegory about substance abuse) Jekyll takes the tonic, transforms into Hyde, and since Hyde is pissed over being locked up for so long, he exercised his frustrations on a rich man's head.
Historically, the nineteenth century is when psychologists started arguing over the existence of multiple personalities, and the public back then was as fascinated with it as it is now. And I can't believe that we're nearing The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde's 150th anniversary, and the evil alternate personality trope is still going strong! I swear to you, it seems like DID is only ever brought up in conjunction with stories involving a murder(s), and the resolution is always, the evil alter committed it. I only know one example (Primal Fear (1996)) where the evil alter didn't do it, but that was because of the twist ending!
Besides wanting the novelty of the core having killed someone rather than the 'evil' alter, I think it would fit in with Milgram's dedication to emphasizing that each prisoner is an individual with their good points and bad. No one is 100% good, or bad, or anything else (Jackalope is 100% chaotic neutral, but he is a mythical creature, not a human, so shh). They have dominant traits that may influence their actions, but as in reality, things aren't black and white. It would make sense for Mikoto and John to reflect this. Mikoto is not 100% good and John is not 100% evil. They both have good and bad traits.
I think that the first trial shows it much better than the second, but Mikoto's main problem is how he constantly denies that anything is troubling him. Es calls him out on it explicitly during Neoplasm. Mikotoās response is, āUsually, if you just laugh and pretend, things work out in the end,ā explaining that the pretending helps him cope. It may not be the healthiest coping mechanism, but it is what he does. The most recent example of this not actually helping anyone is during Mikotoās 2023 birthday timeline conversation. Mikoto questions himself to see if John really does exist and then he angrily blames John, only for John to front long enough to yell that he did it to save them. John disappears and Mikoto tells himself that that was useless, and that heās tired and should stop thinking so hard about it. John has repeated quite a few times during Neoplasm and in that timeline conversation that he did it because Mikoto couldnāt handle it. The implication is that it is referring to the stress that built up and led to the murder. I agree with John that Mikotoās decision to continue putting his head in the sand and to bottle up all his stress would have led to a breakdown. Everyone has a limit, and it is clear that Mikoto was rapidly approaching his. I don't disagree with that at all. What I disagree with is John's claim that he is solely responsible for the murder, because his existence does not make him purely evil and Mikoto's purely good. To think so is to play right into the black-and-white dichotomy of morality and play directly into Yamanaka's hands.
Despite his more sadistic tendencies, John does have some positive traits. We know he cares deeply for Mikoto and wants to protect him, even if his actions aren't acceptable. In Neoplasm, weāve even heard John express some pride over being a college graduate, something Mikoto has previously downplayed when asked questions by Amane. Weāve seen in timeline conversations that Mikoto is capable of expressing annoyance and exasperation (with Fuuta) as well as anger (at John in the above timeline conversation). John can be cruel and aggressive, but he is active in asserting himself. Meanwhile, Mikoto is considerate to others to the point of his own detriment and is rather passive when it comes to conflict. Just because Mikoto seems to have more desirable character traits than John doesnāt make Mikoto incapable of committing a violent act.
Now, onto the murder, what could lead to Mikoto killing somebody?
"Communism was just a red herring." - Clue (1985)
I firmly believe that John is full of shit. Despite the number of destroyed mannequins, there is only one murder victim: the blond fellow we see at the beginning of MeMe. And just like in the cult classic, Clue (1985), I think the motive was blackmail.
Remember Mikoto's glitched line from the second voice trailer? "DESTROY EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING!" I don't know if this is just an accepted fan theory or if it had been confirmed, but it is believed that the lines from the second voice trailer happen before the murder takes place. If it had taken place after the murder occurred, then everything would most likely reference the evidence of the murder. But this takes place before the murder happened. Sure, it could be John's need for one of those rage rooms, but if I'm being honest, I think it was blackmail that could have gotten Mikoto fired from his job. Despite the amount of stress his current job causes him, Mikoto has stated over and over again that he worked very hard to get into the best company in the advertising business, and in his Trial Two interrogation questions, he has stated that he will not leave his current job because he believes that his efforts will eventually be rewarded. Mikoto is fine with being uncomfortable if he believes it will lead to future benefit (AKA, no pain, no gain).
From what I understand about Japan's work culture, getting fired puts a black stain on your record and makes it extremely difficult to find a new job. Getting fired by a top-tier advertising agency isn't just losing his dream job, but possibly destroying any chance of Mikoto gaining any opportunity or prestige for the rest of his career. All his hard work will be for naught. There are plenty of real-world instances where someone lost their job or lost their college acceptance because of poor behavior on the individual's part. If the blond victim had evidence of Mikoto acting badly, regardless of whether it was Mikoto or John fronting, Mikoto's boss could fire him, ruining his chances of ever being rewarded for his hard work. People have certainly killed for less in the real world.
Personally, I lean towards the blackmail being something John did, although this comes from Mikoto's line from Undercover: "Don't lie about me / what did I do?" If Mikoto cannot remember anything from when John fronts and he is aware of his forgetful spells, then not only would Mikoto question whether the blackmail had been doctored but also he'd wonder if there is a hint of truth to it. Remember Mikoto's words to Fuuta, "You're a uni student, right? You can't act like that once you start working properly," as if the angry behavior from Fuuta is only normal until a certain age. Perhaps Mikoto took part in some bad behavior in the past. More likely than not, itās John in the blackmail. T1Q11 answer states, "Yes, I am [someone who takes others into consideration]. I'm a working adult. Communicating makes work easier." It's almost ironic how his boss constantly texting him and inconsideration causes Mikoto problems, and because he is the new guy and subordinate, Mikoto can't exactly tell his boss to fuck off.
His T1Q10 answer better lays out his beef with Fuuta's behavior: "I don't think I've ever gotten angry before. Isn't it kind of disgraceful to get angry?" Now, Mikoto is a very go-along-to-get-along kind of guy and Fuuta is not. He could be telling the truth that he has never gone into a blind rage (that Mikoto remembers), but to say he has never felt anger is most likely a lie.
Here is how I think the murder went down. At the beginning of MeMe, we see Mikoto waiting in a dark, secluded area near the train tracks. His hair is mostly covered by the beanie and we cannot make out his expression whatsoever, so there is no clue to tell us who is fronting between Mikoto and John. Mikoto does not appear to have a bat on his person or around him, and it seems like he is holding his phone. The blond victim could have just been a stranger walking by, but I think that he was an old friend of Mikoto's from high school or college and was supposed to meet with him. As peers who are supposed to be working adults, Mikoto is under the impression that whatever this is, they can just talk it out. This is all just one big misunderstanding.
Maybe the blond victim even brought the bat for an intimidation factor. Maybe Mikoto brought it just in case. I lean towards the former because you would notice misplacing your own baseball bat (they can get really expensive) is hard to not notice, and the whole thing is easier to deny if you don't even own the murder weapon in the first place. Whatever the case, the blond reveals his blackmail and demands payment or else it's getting sent to Mikoto's boss. Mikoto sees nothing but red, screams at his old friend to destroy all of the blackmail, take the bat, and then swings. The first blow hits the victim's lower back, just like how it hit Es in Undercover, and it is enough to render the victim's legs useless, forcing him to try and crawl away rather than run. Mikoto raises the bat well over his head and brings it down again, killing the victim.
With no one around but his now deceased victim, the red haze lifts and Mikoto realizes what he just did, prompting the first trial glitched line, which is believed to take place after the murder, "My life... it wasn't supposed to be this way." The heartbreak is too much to bear. John takes over and is the one to bury the body, dispose of the evidence, and clean Mikoto up. When Mikoto wakes up the next day, he can disregard it as a bad dream: "All I did was dream / And that's what you found GUILTY?"
Pretty words, but empty ones, I know. Where's my proof? I'm glad you asked. :)
Switch-Hitting
Let's start out with the murder weapon: the baseball bat.
In baseball, a switch-hitter is someone who can bat left- and right-handed. Switch-hitters are prized by coaches, because batters have a higher chance of hitting the ball when they swing opposite of the pitcher; meaning a left-handed batter has a better chance of hitting a ball thrown by a right-handed pitcher than the right-handed batter against that same pitcher. There can be switch-pitchers (someone who can throw left- and right-handed), but because Mikoto's murder weapon seems to be the baseball bat, I'm going to focus on the way he swings the bat. As previously stated, during the third chorus of Undercover, we see Mikoto's silhouette bludgeon Es with a baseball bat.
Now, it has been a while since I've played baseball and softball, but I do still own a bat and I believe that that is a left-handed swing. A left-handed batter would have their left hand positioned above the right hand and the bat would have been held over their left shoulder. When they swing, they step in and turn towards their right to complete the swing. That is what Mikoto is doing in this picture. I tried to mimic the swing, but I am a right handed batter, so it feels awkward when I do it. Right-handed batters are more common that left-handed hitters, and in Double, we see Mikoto/John bat both ways, making him a switch-hitter. In the US, a switch-hitter has to pick one side to hit from during the time he is at bat, meaning that say he batted right, then swung and missed twice (two strikes, one more and he's out), he canāt switch to bat left. He can switch to bat left the next time he is up at bat, but he cannot switch positions once he steps up to the plate. I canāt find much on Japanās rules about switch-hitting, but thereās a ton of articles about a high school player who kept switching positions for every pitch during the same at bat (pissing off the Americans in the comments section). Now, I canāt speak for professional baseball in Japan, but I guess switching positions during the same at bat is allowed at the level Mikoto played (high school). I do feel confident in stating that the Mikoto featured in Undercover has a left-handed swing. But Gimme, what does that have to do with switch-hitting? Switch-hitting involves batting both ways.
If you continue to closely watch the opening of MeMe, while Mikoto holds the bat in his left hand, but when he readies himself for the overhead swing, Mikoto has his right hand over his left, something a right-handed batter would do. I actually made a list of when we see Mikoto swing the bat, and it seems that when Mikoto swings the bat normally (like how he would in a game), he usually bats left-handed. I could only find one instance of Mikoto holding the bat right-handed as though he were up to bat.
Left-Handed Batting:
at 3:04 in Undercover
at 0:30 in MeMe
at 0:58 in Double
at 1:29 in Double
Right-Handed Batting:
at 1:26 in Double
Buuuut, when we see Mikoto swing the bat abnormally, he uses his right hand to guide the swing as if he were batting right-handed. His right hand is above his left (which is normal positioning for a right-handed swing) when he does the overhead swing in MeMe at 0:37, and when he swings the bat one handed during Double, it is with his right-hand.
Your dominant hand isn't what determines your batting stance. Generally, it's a good indicator, but it's not set in stone thanks to cross-handedness. Cross-handedness is when you use your dominant hand for certain activities and your non-dominant hand for others. But if it matters, Mikoto is right-handed. Most of his actions in both songs involve his right-hand. If you watch MeMe, the only time Mikoto uses his left hand is to move the camera at the beginning and end of the song, and then to pick up the Death tarot card at the very end of the song. In Double, the only time he uses his left hand is when he swings the bat. Also, his shoulder bag is on his left shoulder in both MeMe and Double, and generally, purses and shoulder bags rests on your non-dominant side to give your dominant hand easy access.
Like I said, Mikoto being right-handed doesn't necessarily translate to him batting right-handed. Now, I'm no baseball expert, but I don't think his left-handed swings are all that good. They look 'jerky' to me. We don't see Mikoto complete a right-handed swing; we only see him hold the bat as if he is waiting for a pitch and the positioning seems natural. And there is something that I want to point out. You can train yourself to become a switch-hitter. I am not kidding when I say that switch-hitters are coveted. I think it would be in-character of Mikoto to naturally bat right-handed but try to teach himself how to bat left-handed so that he can become a switch-hitter. He is someone who knows what they want and creates a ten-step plan to get it, (see his "I wanted this job so I chose this art college with this degree"). He also believes in hard work being rewarded, so if he successfully trains himself to become a switch-hitter, his coach will reward him with more playing time (in this case, move him up the batting list). Mikoto is also self-effacing, so when he puts himself down, it needs to be questioned. Are his claims about not being good at baseball an example of his low self-esteem affects his perception of himself, or was he just plain bad because he was batting from the wrong side? He could just plain suck at baseball, but his abnormal, right-handed swings are smooth and controlled. It makes me think he bats right naturally, and that his left-handed swings are him practicing to get better at switch-hitting.
Unlike Mikoto, John is not patient. He would not bother with a swing he is not comfortable with. We saw that in John Doe as they are quick to taunt Es and lash out at them and Kotoko. John did not try to retreat and figure out a strategy to best Kotoko, an experienced fighter, he just went for it. I can only assume he wised up during his fight with Kotoko and that's why she couldn't knock him out a second time. This impulsive, fiery temper reappears in Neoplasm, when John mock Es for chaining Mikoto and for the name they gave him, and then as Es stalls during John's prodding of what will happen to Mikoto, John begins shouting at Es to answer him. I would probably split the two this way: while Mikoto is proactive with his willingness to think ahead and shortchange himself for the chance of being rewarded in the future, John is reactive and his impulsiveness leads to short-term thinking that can screw over Mikoto.
Here's Mikoto in Neoplasm: "I wonder if it's like... some kind of sleepwalking...? After all, I've been losing sleep more and more often recently... Man... It's really troublesome, isn't it?...Usually, if you just laugh and pretend, things work out in the end, right? I'm pretty good at that. Making things work out to the best of my abilities." At this point, he can no longer deny that nothing is wrong, and Mikoto is now forced to seriously consider just what is going on when he has these forgetful spells and falls asleep. Something is wrong, and he is trying to follow his usual protocol of smiling and quietly figuring out how to make things turn out for the best. Except it is not working in Milgram, triggering John's appearance in Neoplasm.
John is surprised by Es's acceptance of the situation, and even says, "I'd just think it's a lie someone came up with to get away with murder." As he and Es continue to talk, John asks Es why they think he was born and confirms that his role is to protect Mikoto from harm. Es is the one to bring up the murder, and suddenly, the chatty John is giving short, vague responses, reiterating that he is the murderer, not Mikoto. Here's some of it, "Yeah, it's me. I killed them off... They annoyed me [so I killed them]... Just someone [a stranger] who was walking around nearby... Can't remember [how many I killed]." When Es demands to know how John can be so calm, John changes the subject to find out what will happen to Mikoto. When Es cannot give him a satisfactory answer, John repeats again and again that Mikoto is innocent and that he, John, is at fault, so please forgive Mikoto. I think John would admit to every wrongdoing of Mikoto's if that meant Mikoto's burden would be lifted. It's why I don't trust him. Not only is his confession too vague to be considered admissible, but as Mikotoās protector, he also has a reason to take the fall. John is not an evil alter, but he is taking advantage of the trope to get Mikoto the Innocent verdict. An Innocent verdict, in Johnās mind, will erase most of Mikotoās current stress. It is too short term, and relies to heavily on Mikotoās habit of denial. If Mikoto is found Innocent, there is a chance that he may continue to pull his head out of the sand to figure out what is going on so he can learn how to manage or suppress it so his everyday life won't be impacted.
Oh, and one more thing before I end this first part.
That Wasn't Mikoto at the End of Neoplasm, which is why Double differs from MeMe.
John is playing up the idea that he is an evil alter to get Mikoto out of trouble, and the weird behavior shown by 'Mikoto' at the end of Neoplasm is just John attempting to manipulate us. Do you guys remember at the end of John Doe when Mikoto is back in control and is confused and then horrified as to why heās hurting and why Es is now covered in bruises? From what Iāve read, that confusion is a common sign of personalities having been switched, and so is the memory loss he has experienced. Now compare that to the end of Neoplasm, when John āleavesā and Mikoto comes back and immediately starts guessing what kind of dog Es owns? And how weird that is because Mikoto had started the interview clearly worried over what is going on with him when he is āasleepā? I donāt think Mikoto actually came back. I think that thatās John taking advantage of Es being startled by the bell and pretending to be Mikoto and trying to emphasize how harmless Mikoto. Mikoto is just a little guy. How can someone so friendly be a monster?
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#mikoto kayano#john kayano#milgram project#milgram analysis#who-swung-it#do you like the whodunnit pun#Iām quite proud#long post#so long#I'm sorry#for the length#and the length alone#mikoto did it#you know it#i know it#the american people know it#but seriously#imagine if I'm right#surprise it wasn't the alter#it's the novelty of it#that makes me want it to happen#I do have proof#I just want to get this theory out right now#organizing the video evidence is a nightmare but it is there#just jumbled#in my drafts#taking up space
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genuinely is my brain erasing itself or is google/tumblr censoring that post about notre dame and old growth forests.
#i know we joke about tumblr's (lack of) search function#but at some point this is surely (less) passive (more) aggressive#(particularly against people with memory issues...is this. is this gaslighting.#am i. am i being GASLIGHTED. by a social media platform who isn't even my PARENT???)#that post is ingrained in my memory but google image is flirting and fwirling its fan 'haha! you're so cute! and Imagining Things. Dear :-)#i have Looked okay! i've looked! and i've looked for a SEVERAL DOZEN POSTS before this after talking To People...and behold!#...this last year or two i *genuinely* can't find posts 4 out of 5 times.#what the COOL GELITAN FUCK is going on#geletan#gel#GELTAIN#GELA--im so scared right now#so tired#GELITAN#what the chilled gelitan fuck is going on#update: i Am being gaslit just not about the spelling of gelly-thing#i'm both stupid AND being gaslit. these things! can! coexist! *sad clapping*
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Gojo Satoru sees you for the first time at a mutual friend's partyāand immediately his eyes get stuck on you. the entire time he's watching you drink leisurely at the end of the couch, and roll your eyes at the dude bros attempting to flirt with you, while you ignored them.
after 40 mins of staring, he comes up to you and shoves the guy āpathetically trying to get you to sleep with himā off the armrest of the couch you're sitting on. Satoru just ignores the guy shouting at him and and throwing a fit on the floor. he takes a seat on the armrest instead and looks you dead in the eyes, and goes;
"you look like someone who thinks men ain't shit and would probably make a face that alone would make me cry."
you raise one of your eyebrows at him just a bit amused. confused whether he was trying to pick a fight or what else was he trying at. he goes on and continues what he was saying;
"so please fuck me."
#inspired by IRL encounter I had with this guy last year who was younger than me bro was literally 18 and I was 20#gojo Satoru#jujutsu kaisen#jjk gojo#gojo x reader#ā^^#āgojoberry<3#satoru gojo x reader#gojo headcanons#satoru gojo#jjk#gojou satoru x reader#gojo satoru headcanon#loser!gojo#gojo x y/n#gojo x you#jjk x y/n#jjk x reader#I did laugh at him and said no TT o TT I'm sorry idk? I did kiss him before I left just to fuck with him. he was right I am mean like that#red flag reader#satoru headcanons#gojo satoru fluff#gojo fluff#not really meet cute sorry lmaooo#just talking about this with my friend and ykw ye it's gojocore#gojo core#gojo-drabbles#gojo imagine#gojo drabbles
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I know those eyes.
[First]Ā PrevĀ <ā-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen qing#wen ning#Sibling similarity but you only see it when you realize they have the same soggy eyes.#These two always struck me as a bit of a play on Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli for 'siblings who contrast each other.#But after spending a lot more time marinating on Wen Ning I actually think they are way more similar that is initially apparent.#Sure their surface level personality traits are pretty contrastive. But they both are so willing to risk their lives for what's right#Who raised them? In a story so full of examples of how parents shape their children - why are these two lacking in parents?#I imagine that Wen Qing is the older sibling and so her morals of 'help those who need it no matter who they are' got passed a long.#But how did *she* arrive there? Was that instilled within her or was it a reaction against bearing witness to callousness and cruelty?#We'll never know..the only thing I can say for certain is Wen Qing is *so* soggy in the audio drama.#She's like the ant with the bindle. It's a hell of a way to bring a previously sharp tongued character back into the narritive.#Side note: Thank you all for being so patient and kind while I took my break!#It's been a very chaotic few weeks and I didn't realize how bad my burnout was getting. I'm back and ready to keep drawing again!
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neil gaiman and RTD are absolute legends for being the showrunners of 2 mainstream shows funded by large production companies in the year 2023, and proceeding to make the most queer positive episodes ever seen by man
meanwhile david tennant is just vibrating with joy because he gets more opportunities to wear his one-thousand-and-twenty-four pride pins
#neil gaiman#rtd#good omens#doctor who#rtd looking over at the loki showrunners and calling them cowards#i mean that actually did happen#i'm just imagining rtd taking disney money and neil taking amazon money and chucking it in at a queer generator#oh we got more money? great let's throw in another lesbian#while all those execs look on in horror#David tennant frantically signing the contracts#nobody doing allyship like dt being the common denominator for both these#good omens eason 2#doctor who 60th anniversary#the star beast#david tennant#lgbtq+#queer representation#trans rights#nonbinary rights#anthony j crowley#aziraphale#there are too many queer characters in GO to tag#the doctor#14th doctor#rose noble#beep the meep#yes lol im tagging beep here too#meme?#our flag means death#not in this but it's also queer positive media released this year
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hockey screencapĀ 6/???
#this is kind of how I imagine the hughes lakehouse#only with a little less glue sniffing#like some glue sniffing#just 'less' glue sniffing#I'm on a hughes kick right now#hockey art#iasip#new jersey devils#luke hughes#jack hughes#screencap#mine#nhl
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The first thing Jihoon notices when he wakes up is that his neck doesn't hurt.
Dazed, he squints up at the sunlight streaming through a nearby window. It's one of those dreamless naps where you lose all sense of time. He could've been out for minutes, hours.
It takes him another beat to realize that he's in a bed. Not the couch at the studio. Not some corner of the company. A proper bedā crisp white sheets, fluffy pillows.
He groans softly. There's only one person who could be behind all this. And sure enough, your voice reaches him through his haze. "You're awake."
Jihoon mumbles something between 'mhm' and 'sorta'. One of his hands goes to rub at his eyes, like it might somehow will the drowsiness away. He vaguely makes out your figure, seated inches away from him. He has half the mind to ask what you're doing this time. Scrolling through your phone? Reading a book?
Instead, he grouses, "I fell asleep again." His wordsā gruff around the edgesā aren't a question. It's more a statement of a fact.
You hum your confirmation. "It was just a couple of minutes." Then, softer. "You should get some more rest."
Jihoon wants to protest; he really does. A part of him has always felt guilty about this. He already has so little time with you as is, and yet he somehow finds himself squandering it over sleep.
But then you're carding your fingers through his hair and his eyes instinctively flutter close. "Not fair," he exhales. "You don't play fair."
Your hand shakes a little as you laugh.
"Go to sleep, Jihoon-ah," you repeat. "I'll wake you up in a bit."
(You never do, Jihoon thinks. You always say you're going to wake me up and that we'll go out and do something you like, but you always let me sleep in. I'll wake up in the middle of the night with you cuddled in to meā another day that we could've been normal, wasted because I'm perpetually tired.)
"Okay." Jihoon sounds much younger than he really is in that moment. "Okay, good night."
Right before drifting off, he summons up just enough energy to reach for your hand. He thinks he also manages to say I love you.
Jihoon dreams of the view from an airplane window, when the sun is setting over the clouds; a stage during sound check, where twelve other boys make it all worth it; your hand in his, and the quiet way you say I love you back.
#jihoon x reader#jihoon fluff#jihoon imagines#woozi x reader#woozi fluff#woozi imagines#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#svt fluff#seventeen fluff#svt imagines#seventeen imagines#( right. sorry. had a breakdown over woozi's weverse post. )#( if i think too hard about it i'm convinced i'll go insane so this is how we cope )#(š) page: svt#(š„”) notebook
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RIP Will Campos the only person who was murdered this episode.
#I fucking loved this episode but also FUCK- OH UH DON'T READ MY TAGS IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED YET CAUSE UH SPOILERS LOL#dndads#dungeons and daddies#the peachyville horror#dndads spoilers#dndads s3 ep 5#tony collette#ebenezer white#[breathes]#TONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK#choosing to believe there's a chance they save him#I REALLY hope they save him#please these tags were gonna be me rambling about how I'm so ready for him to accidentally become an actual spy#and how Ebenezer is just one more person I need him to have homoerotic tension with#BUT NOW WHAT#Anyways poor Will but also not poor Will cause it was REALLY funny how much everyone was screwing with him this episode zkbfeskgzl#stupidly it was the moth bit that got me the most and particularly Matt describing its journey lmao#Somehow- like I knew the Trudy stuff was gonna be dark but somehow it was even darker than I imagined like fuuuuuck#Also sounds like the people who theorized there'd been an og human Trudy were *probably* right?#Heh. But was it a normal death or was she *murdered* dun dun dun#*Very* excited for Kelsey's boxing match#Francis UH OH GOD??#the two scoops line was perfect though#what else what else... No I'm just caught on that ending now god DAMN it I don't care if they pull some cheap shit to save him#oh actually I know exactly what I want out of this but I'll make a separate post about that one sec lol#undescribed
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hehe ghost-turbo haunting felix au
turbo is connected to the last piece of his code in the whole arcade - a trophy he gifted to felix in mid 80s as a symbol of him genuinely caring about their relationships on par with being the best racer. felix also gave him one of his medals and both kept their gifts next to other rewards, but when roadblasters and turbotime were unplugged, the medal was gone with everything else
now, after burning in cola-lava turbo is basically dead, but scraps of his code still were intertwined with the trophy (after all, it was his first winner's cup, but felix never knew about it), giving turbo an opportunity to exist as a shadow incapable of interacting with anything and anyone besides felix, who kept the trophy even after the roadblasters incident
also I went crazy in tags, feel free to check them out
#turbo#turbotastic#fix it felix jr#80s boyfriends#hammertastic#headcanon about them exchanging their trophies isn't mine but i loved it A LOT#and ādarlingā is turbo making fun of how felix was calling him in 80s#this hc about ādollā and ādarlingā pet names also is not mine but i adore it#turbo here is a complete freak who just stays around felix most of the time even when felix has moments with calhoun#and felix is an ass who keeps secrets from everyone bc he doesn't want his dirt to come out#he's ashamed of his previous relationship with turbo and doesn't want anyone to know any details#and calhoun to just know about it#this just gets worse and worse#they also didn't actually break up and were still technically dating when turbo went gamejumping#and he's mad af at felix because he's the reason ppl in the acrade made a boogeyman out of turbo and he couldn't come back#like imagine your bf says to you what you are better than others think of you#and then behind your (presumably dead) back tells everyone that you're just an egocentric maniac#i believe turbo has other reasons why he gamejumped (besides jealousy which took place but wasn't the most important reason)#and felix is an unreliable narrator#so yeah turbo HATES his ass#(but still would-) no im not making it suggestive#anyway i hc that turbo had put A LOT of emotions in this relationship even tho he's bad at this#he tried his best with felix but they were just making each other worse#and turbo while feeling betrayed never really moved on (yes even after 25 years he's PATHETIC)#and felix is just full of regret about everything but he won't admit his mistakes in his relationship with turbo#bc āwell he turned out to be a bad person so that automatically makes me in the right about everythingā#but felix had made a lot of bad decisions while dating turbo and was just classically ignorant about a ton of things#sorry about this random ass essay in tags i'm done for now#wreck it ralph#wir
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SĢ¶ĢĢĢ¤tĢøoĢ¶ĢĢrĢµĢĶ mĢøĶĶĢ
Look, I know I promised a continuation of "Get in the Water," but I had this idea and just had to write it, okay? So this is the non-canon sequel, the canon one is still in progress.
They escaped. Batman dragged Damian's frozen body away from the Lazarus Pit and through the tunnels as Danyal's screams-sobs-wails echoed behind them. Eventually the sound ebbed away and they emerged to the surface.
A debrief was demanded from everyone; even Todd was in the Cave. Damian trembled, his only sign of distress, his mind stuck on Danyal's face, his brother's voice rebounding around his head.
Father's debrief had been rough. Damian could barely explain what happened, why he was drawn to the waters, why Danyal wanted to drown him. He'd only explained the Danyal was someone he'd killed while with the League, and Father was the only one to doubt his explanation.
Damian took the first opportunity to escape to the showers. Stripping down, Damian turned the faucet and the bathroom lit up bright green.
He flinched away, and when he opened his eyes, the water was just water. A stone sunk into his stomach.
The next day, while Father was consulting with Justice League Dark, Grayson and Drake returned to the caves for their own investigation of the Pits. And while they found the cavern--found by tracking the batarang Father threw--it was desert dry. There was no sign of Lazarus Water, nor did it look like it had ever been there.
That night, as Damian was washing his face before bed, he filled the sink basin with water. He turned away for one second, but when he looked back, he almost dipped his face under the green slime oozing out the spout. He bolted, and when he returned with a startled Father, the water had returned to normal.
Grayson insisted on taking him out for lunch the following day, citing that Damian needed a "break." Damian was furious, but allowed it; Justice League Dark was visiting the cave to discuss the... incident, and Damian wanted to interrogate them. He... he needed to know if that was really Danyal or not. If his sweet brother could have been twisted after his murder into that monster, that Siren crooning at him to choose to die.
He'd never contemplated the fate of his brother's immortal soul before. Had he done this to him? Could Damian had avoided this by killing him honorably, instead of cowardly poisoning Danyal so he'd pass away in his sleep?
Damian allowed Grayson order for him. He wasn't hungry. The clouds above swirled ominously as he followed Grayson to a nearby awning with a picnic bench underneath.
Grayson took a bite of his gyro. "So? How have you been coping these past few days?"
"I'm not an invalid, Grayson," Damian hissed, glaring. "I'm fine."
A frozen breath brushed across his ear. "LĢ¶ĶĢĢĢ„Ģ²ĢŖiĢ·ĢĢĢ¢ĢaĢ“ĶĶĢ§rĢ¶Ģ¾ĶĢĶĢŗĢ«,Ģ¶ĢĶ" Danyal whispered in his ear.
Grayson didn't notice or hear Danyal's voice. "You see, I don't believe you. One of your dead League friends is supernaturally gunning for you, Dami; it's normal to feel out of sorts."
Damian scoffed. "Nothing about this situation is normal."
He looked down at his food and sighed. "Yeah, that's for sure. I'm sorry, Damian. I wish this wasn't happening to you."
"And I wish the creature would just attack already," Damian griped. "It's the waiting that will kill me, not that fake."
Like someone had been listening, the sky opened up and it rained green throughout Gotham.
#damian and danny are twins#dc x dp#dpxdc#dp x dc#dcxdp#dc x dp crossover#c: damian wayne#c: bruce wayne#c: dick grayson#c: tim drake#everyone kept writing about how Damian would have been dragged under so i wondered what would have happened if he escaped#Danny promised to flood Gotham; now he might just do that#there's a surprising lack of jason in this#i'm imagining he's dodging his own supernatural IRS agent right now#specifically technus bc he'd piss jason off the most#while jason is experiencing rage inducing comedy Damian is experiencing the Horrors#get in the water au
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the fact that irving canonically survives through the end of asunder to be at wynne's funeral is so fucking funny to me. nothing but love and respect for MY unstoppable cockroach morally grey machiavellian mage dad!!! he's survived in his position through multiple attempted rites of annulment and blood mage plots popping up left right and center around him. the chantry keeps trying to stamp him out but his dodge game is simply out of this world, divine. civil wars, political machinations and minefields, chantry atrocities, this wily old motherfucker is dodging and weaving his way through it all, not-quite-no-hits-taken-running-it-but-honestly-close-enough-under-the-circumstances style. if solas does succeed in tearing down the veil I would fully believe that one of the like three people still alive at the end of it all would be a very weary 90 year old first enchanter irving going 'oh this shit again huh'. the maker has cursed him for his hubris and his paperwork is never finished (affectionate, it's fine he canonically loves paperwork)
#we should have had the option to leave him in the fade instead of hawke or a warden#he would've just annoyedly shuffled his way back out of there a week later#dragon age#dragon age origins#first enchanter irving#he must be SO annoying to the chantry because it's heavily implied he's made his playground#out of tirelessly finding technicalities and loopholes to exploit that they can't *quite* call him on without domino effects going off#I think first enchanter in the circle system at origins times is a position that invariably and inevitably leaves you morally compromised#but I feel he really does his best within the rules he's given to play with and personally i love him a bit for that. and also#for being an unkillable lil shit. insufferable. inconquerable in his 'I'm about to be such an annoyance to you' impish spirit.#the I'm going to suffer but guess what. so are you of it all. traumatize the chantry back#I just imagine sophia sending letters home right before the vote for independence like '...dad I am hearing some INSANE rumours out here#what the actual fuck is going on back home???'#and he's like 'nothing that you need to worry about sweetie just keep living your best life and have fun killing darkspawn <3'#(there's something that makes me feel So much about how consistently his stance is like... 'you'll always be welcome here#but the circle doesn't *need* you; go be a warden and live your life'. he managed to fineagle freedom for you somehow and won't let you#turn and glance back. not even once. I feel somehow both so abandoned and so incredibly loved it's wild)#oc: sophia amell
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@enderfore replied to your post āWhat do you think of Rook's savanaclaw card? <333ā:
Chenya pic where???? I can barely see anything in that room there so much going on, rooks such a lil freak (affectionatr)
āhe's under the row of flags on Neige's side of the room, next to the big Neige poster with the yellow background (look just to the right of the hand holding the apple)! he's REAL little; once you know he's there you can kind of see him in-game, but I only noticed him in the first place because I took a screenshot and was having fun zooming in on all the details!
I think that's either Hop or Snick and Dominic on either side of Neige, but if the others are meant to be anyone in particular I don't recognize 'em. though I do love all the absolutely terrifying implications of Rook having this. was this some kind of officially-published merchandise (and if so, why) or did Rook like...go hunting through the RSA trash to find this random student lineup just because it included Neige, and has had it hanging proudly on the wall ever since. (I mean, he definitely did do this, I don't know why I'm asking. the real question is why he hasn't cut out little pictures of his own face and stuck them over everyone else's yet.)
there is seriously SO MUCH in this room. how did Rook manage to keep this hidden for three years. also, somebody give this background artist a raise immediately.
#screenshot#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 8 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 8 spoilers#this just in: the savanaboys are canonically very respectful of each other's privacy and right to their own personal space#the other option is that no one actually wants to see why rook is always so desperate to keep people out of his room#but these are not mutually exclusive! leona respects your boundaries through genuinely not giving a shit. āļø#god. rook's room really was somehow exactly what i expected but also so much more than i could have ever imagined.#the literal divide down the center including his BEDSHEETS AND PILLOW#do you think rook makes sure to sleep precisely down to the mm in the center of his bed each night what am i saying of course he does#he has also probably trained his eyes to move independently so he can look at both of the hanging posters above his bed at once#savanarook really was such a treasure. i shall miss him.#(i have also decided based on basically nothing that because there's a banner with vil's unique magic name on it)#(and the corresponding banner for neige says '[someday my] prince will come')#(that i'm going to headcanon this as being neige's unique magic. i must know what it does. the possibilities are TANTALIZING)
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real talk having the 2nd worst new years eve yet š¤¢š¤¢š¤¢ (throat infection, twisted neck, banged-about-foot, ego AND the rest o' me all bruised like misjuggled peaches ššš)
im bent outa shape and suspectin the universe owes me 8 buck if anyone wannsa chip in
#yes the šššwas just an excuse to shove ass emojis in your face i'm only (occasionally. allegedly) human#now ask me about my FIRST worst new year eve. it involves wizards and portals and elaborate lies i make up on the spot#SAD REAL TALK <STARTS>:#also made the mistake of reaching out to my mom post-xmas#like what kind of c-ptsd NOOB does that. what kinda chronic holiday trauma survivor NOVICE??? embarrassing#THE SEDUCTIVE FALSE HOPE OF NOSTALGIA WILL LURE YOU IN EVERY TIME#'oh but maybe they won't disappoint me. but maybe they won't rip my heart out this time'#sweetheart that's your dear sweet inner child's yearning for what never was or will be. BEAT IT BACK WITH A STICK!#SAD REAL TALK <ENDS>#....back to that part where i talked about being bent out of shape#if anyone w/ metalwork skills wants ta take a blowtorch & hammer & tongs & have at... I'm open to experimentation is all im sayin#in lieu of that i would also welcome someone buying me a sandwich. i am. so sore.#(metaphysically sore but also the other more urgent im-at-my-daily-NSAIDs-limit kinda sore)#(hence: sanwimch)#...i got so sleepy writing this i started imagining the astonishing hedonism#of stroking a freshly grilled cheese-dripping sandwhich across my body like a loofah#the soothingness of the gooey warm near liquid cheese. the vaguely spongelike quality of toasted sourdough slice.#look i didn't imagine it on PURPOSE it just came to me like a vision like a threat#like one of those weird mens locker room ads where the sportsball is watermelon??? u know the one#where there's nudity & food & homoerotica & hot steaming showers in the background and STILL the overall effect is more offputting than sex#look i have a throat infection. i can barely swallow. i'm sipping chocolate milk to survive and i'm NOT EVEN ENJOYING IT. each drop is agon#(opposite side of the Tantalus spectrum but i'm suffering more than he has in 3.5 thousand years)#i'm dehydrated. barely conscious. electrolytes are circling down the drain. doctors should be incubating me w/ capri sun straws right now.#I GET A PASS ON THESE TAGS#i don't know what i wrote! and i don't stand by it! and you can't make me read em!!!
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Thinking about the nastiest, filthiest, most depraved sex with Jason. Visually, it's kind of violent, but really, it's not; you just need each other very carnally. There's no salvaging the clothes you were wearing, and the ones you wear over the next few days will have to cover you up enough so you don't get mistaken for the victim of a mauling. It didn't matter, though, didn't matter if you looked like you'd been hit by a truck or were brought to the brink of death and revived because nothing mattered when he was balls deep in your soaking cunt.Ā
Every single time Jason hit that sweet spot deep in you, youĀ feltĀ like you were on the verge of dying and ascending to the great beyond. The edges of your vision go dark as you leave deep bloody scratches anywhere you can reach, refusing to be the only one who looked like the victim of a violent crime when it was over. Your legs shake uncontrollably as he draws another earth-shattering orgasm out of you, making you slip further and further into the light.Ā
You always come back to him, though, the out-of-body experience ending when he bends you into a new position, whispering in your ear how good you are for him. It would happen again, and again, and again until you were sure you were gonna die on him or something, sure that every stroke of his cock was gonna be the one to take you out. Death's cold, clammy hands never touched you though, just Jason's warm ones wiping drool from your mouth, and lightly tapping your cheek. "You still with me?"
#edited this for like twenty minutes#trying to make sure it sounded right n shit#but mannnn i got assignments#so i'm tappin out#calling it a night if u will#enjoy me dipping my toes into smth#a little darker than usual or whatever#gonna reread this in the morning and cringe so baddddd#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#jason todd smut#red hood x reader#red hood x you#red hood smut#jason todd imagine#red hood imagine#jason todd lover
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Thank you all for an incredible 500 days of love and support. I offer you: answers to questions that no one has asked.
(As always, more can be found in the tags <3)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#a-qing#jin ling#wen ning#jiang cheng#āHey wait this feels like there should have been way more content for questionsā Yes. There was.#I was not strong enough to redraw *all* of what was lost. Rest in piece the original (lost to tea related accident)#But I'll tell you all the fun other things that would have been drawn out right here in the tags!#Did you know my longest posting streak was 61 days? And my longest hiatus was 6 days?#Did you know I missed posting on 92 days of those 500 days - meaning I posted 82% of the time on a daily basis?#I'm normal about collecting data. I have so much data on this blog for normal reasons. I'm also so normal about art. The normalest.#Honorable mention for the character rankings: Lan Wangji! for āMost improved in rankā.#Sorry Lan Wangji fans but until the audio drama I honestly was...pretty indifferent towards him.#I think a huge part of that was due to the fact he's constantly paired up with WWX; who has *so* much charisma and steals the scene#But I've really come to like him a lot more since starting this project. He rose from mid-tier to being in the top ten!#Dishonorable mention: Nie Huaisang. Who fell out of number 1 spot and out of the top 5.#He just hasn't shown up a lot! And my rankings are fickle! They will probably change once I finish the third season!#My favourite comics are: A lot of them! And the ones I have yet to make!#I'm very sleepy at the moment while writing this but I do want to give a huge shout out to YOU.#Yeah! you reading this! Thank you! If you've been here since the first week or just started reading: THANK YOU!#If you've only ever lurked and never even liked a single post but still read my comics: THANK YOU!!#In creating this blog - I have found 500 days of more happiness that I could have ever imagined.#Thank you for joining me on this journey. Thank you for giving me your time and your support.#It means more than any 'thank you' could say B'*)
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Imagine your f/o calling you an incredibly sweet nickname or term of endearment in a loving yet casual manner. "It's always so nice to see you, darling." "Of course I missed you, sweetheart." "Thank you for being here, love."
#I'm giggling right now y'all oh my goodness holy guacamole and cheese everypony#self ship#f/o community#f/o positivity#f/o imagines#f/o prompts#imagine your fictional other#comfort character#f/o x s/i#comfort character imagines#fictional other
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