#imagine being so distanced from reality that this is your take
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dandylion-s · 6 months ago
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Listen man if you're taking the side of the cops beating on students maybe take a second and re-examine wtf could've made you this way.
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goldenstring6123 · 4 months ago
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Lnds: Fighting with them
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Warning: ANGST NO COMFORT! Arguing, fighting & toxic responses to a fight. Self insert. Reader may or may not be the MC
Author's note: Here's my take on getting into fights with your LNDS boyfriend— realistic responses edition! some of you may not like this, be warned.
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Fighting with Zayne:
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He is a professional, and his method is simply de-escalation. Dealing with so many types of patients, he knows how to handle things from children fighting to burly men wanting to pack a punch. He talks out of conflict or stalls them long enough until security gets to where he is; this happens inside and outside the hospital. During this incident, though he appears cool-headed, he is also aggravated. A keen observer would notice the ghostly frown on his face and his mildly defensive stance.
With you, he's more lenient. More gentle and more understanding. Utilizing a more empathic approach to your conflict. He never raises his voice or shows an ounce of hostility. Zayne would most definitely be more comforting. He is quick to apologize by verbal words or sweet actions.
When push comes to shove and you somehow manage to get on his nerves, which happens once in a blue moon, he'll either:
Scenario 1: He'll stop talking or looking at you for hours. He'll try to calm himself down and stare off into the distance, recalling whatever got him on his nerves. He'll try to find a solution or workaround and meet you halfway. Of course, he'll demand an apology from you if he rightfully deserves it, and if not, he's more than willing to give you an apology instead.
Scenario 2: He'll ask you to leave his house to cool off both of your heads. He'll bury himself in his workload, turning off his phone. When you confront him, he won't speak first, asking if you need something from him. He won't apologize or meet you halfway with his words; in fact, he won't be gentle with them; he'll convey his feelings and messages to you more frankly to the point that it is harsh. His words are somewhat calculated, as if he had already planned what to say, but that would mean he won't let you slip a word in.
By then, the anger within you has already been extinguished. At the end of any scenario, Zayne is the last to apologize for being angry. Still, he states his anger has a reason and that he cares for you and his well-being.
Fighting with Xavier:
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When you manage to annoy him, he pouts, still acting cutesy on purpose. He does this more often than anyone could imagine because, in this way, he can demand consolation in the form of baking pastries/desserts or kisses.
When things get hot between the two of you, he'll ignore you for a short amount of time, refraining from entering the same room as you because you know neither of you would give in to the argument, So it was better for you to both calm your minds down, even just for 5 minutes.
When all things go in the wrong direction, Xavier's the type to fuss, complain, and just generally become verbal. He never swears and raises his voice per se but heavily pushes the side of the argument onto you, whether you were wrong or right. Sometimes, he fails to understand your side of the conflict, and sometimes, he flat-out ignores it and acts all childish, turning a deaf ear.
He's capable of not talking to you for days, and he makes it more apparent that he's avoiding you by requesting to switch partners. And when this happens, most of the time, it's you who makes the move to apologize. But on bad topics, it doesn't end there. He still insists on his side of the fight. All while speaking and arguing, he tries to get close to you in an attempt to hold your hand, but you always push him away. You
One time, he got too close to you to make you understand, pressing you against the wall and holding your hand a bit too tightly, and out of sheer anger and fear, you resorted to brute force, slapping him across the face. This took him back to reality and, with it, took his anger as well, exchanging it for grief. Only then did he realize that he messed up in more ways than he could think.
Fighting with Rafayel:
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Rafael is the hardest to deal with when angered. He's sensitive and quick to be influenced by emotions. Though people call him a "drama queen," Rafayel becomes a real pain in the neck when people get on his nerves. If he doesn't get what he wants, he'll make sure that the other party loses more than him, and he does that thanks to his network and his money. This seldom happens as He doesn't work with anyone in broad daylight. He locks himself in the studio; only Thomas usually talks to him.
At most, he gets into conflicts with cats.
It's a different thing when he makes shady transactions, though. When he's made into a fool, those people are dealt with by his hired men. Assassinations, theft, blackmail, whatever makes the other party beg on their knees.
With you, though, it's a whole other story.
Conflicts with Rafael are, unfortunately, toxic; He's easy to provoke and quick to retort. It's a gamble when you're with him. On some better days, you can get away with a conflict through an apology and dinner, or better yet, he concedes, and you can have your way.
It doesn't take a genius to know that this will escalate into a shouting match on bad days. Banters, insults, and harsh words are thrown at each other without pause, and it only stops when either of you walks out. It was a mindless conflict led by sheer anger, plus his pettiness and your annoyance. He makes himself look like the victim and points out your flaws more and how you failed to be understanding; conflicts with him end up with tears and devoid of an apology. Neither of you ever even remembered what you were fighting back.
When he has no strength to fight with you, he goes silent. He locks his home and only contacts you for a short period. He vents his anger on his paintings, to which Thomas immediately tells him to take a break and apologize to you. He doesn't, and it's not until a week later that he contacts you again.
Fighting with Sylus:
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He's patient but, at the same time, impatient.
When something is amiss, or someone fails to do their task, rather than bother to be angry or inconvenienced, he'd eliminate the cause of that problem. It saves him from emotional exhaustion.
When in conflict with other people, you best place your bet on him being the aggrevator. He's more of the person to start conflicts than be on the receiving end. If there is one thing to know about him when he starts one, he finishes it, leading the other party on their knees, running away or six feet under.
Sylus is a big man who holds himself to his ego, so people tend to be weary when approaching him. Burly, prideful men are eager to fight him, and they somehow get a taste of their own medicine, praying they end up alive after this fight.
With you, however, it's a different story. Conflicts between you and Sylus are primarily caused by too much bickering and you taking his words to heart. Sometimes, he lets his tongue slip too much in amusement. A quick cold shoulder treatment and you blocking his chat is the way for him to show a gram of remorse. Despite being terrifying, he's pretty good at consoling and apologizing.
But when you start to get on his nerves, you're in a tight situation. He doesn't treat you like a partner; he treats you like some sort of business partner, spewing harsh facts with a tinge of insult. He doesn't let you slip a word in; if you manage to, he'll always have something to say again. He raises his voice slightly, asks rhetorical questions, and makes you look foolish. All the while, he looks like he still has his composure. He acts as if he's not your lover, creating a clear boundary between your relationship, and more often than you'd like to admit, this, too, got on your nerves. He never makes a move on you, neither does he curse or do anything terrible. He just sits there all arrogant, as if he always has the upper hand with your emotions.
But there was one particular fight where you're the one who's fuming red with pure, dry anger. You scream at Sylus, reprimanding and scornful, sometimes lunging a few soft items his way, which he catches, yet he never does anything. He stays in his place, but he is undeniably infuriated as well, only this time, he's silent. He lets you go off, not responding to your rhetorical questions and all the words you hurl his way, and when you are finally done speaking, he tells you to leave, grabbing you by your arm and throwing you out of his house.
He hasn't contacted you for a month, and you have been forbidden from going anywhere near the N109 zone. You thought it was the end of whatever you guys had. You sent your break-up message, and to your surprise, he's seen it yet— there was never a response.
That night, you wake up in his bed and in his grasp.
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Author footnotes: I know this isn't the romantic type of lnds post but once in a while I want to make their relationships realistic, like, try to apply how people in real life would act.Layout by me, using canva premium | Do not repost | Dividers by cafekitsune MASTER LIST | Buy me a thread?
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tasteleeknow · 4 months ago
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RASPBERRY PIE
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minors dni. minho x fem!reader. 4k words content warnings. pet names (sweetheart, angel). mutual pining. sweet/shy reader. perv!minho. corruption kink. food play. dirty talk. oral (m rec.). soft!dom minho.
you bake your quiet neighbour a warm raspberry pie.
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He's pretty sure he's utterly fucked from the jump – he finds himself attached so early he almost convinces himself you're a witch in disguise; that maybe he'd moved in next door to a creature designed to trap men like him. A siren, maybe. The sweetness was an act; all the soft tones and doe eyed looks were just a trick to lure him down beneath the waves.
He was determined not to drown.
And then you show up with the pie, a little flushed from working around a hot oven. It'd been 6 months – 6 months since he'd moved in, and as he opens the door to find you in an apron with little pink stains, a feeling of approaching and inevitable doom settles in his chest. Finally, you'd come to take him.
"Hi," you greet with a shy smile. "My friend brought me over far too many berries yesterday so..." you look down at the golden pie, carefully decorated and clearly still warm, "...well I made this. For you."
If he was wise, he'd politely decline, close the door, and never be faced with the reality of the sweet little siren in his apartment, offerings of temptation and all.
"For me?"
You look up at him through long lashes. "Do you like pie?" you ask. It's the way you say it, like if he doesn't you might genuinely hurt inside – like with a simple rejection of your offering, he had the ability to snuff out some little candle alight inside you.
"I like pie," he says.
Then you smile. Like it's the best news you've heard in weeks. "Oh, good."
He steps aside, his body betraying him. The siren enters with her warm pie and soft smiles – and he knows, unequivocally, that he's fucked.
He keeps his distance as you comfortably navigate to the kitchen to find a place for your offering. The apartments were all pretty much identical as far as he knew. The two on this floor, his and yours, were mirrored. He imagines that just on the other side of your joining wall, you took the same steps he did he each morning, in parallel.
You fiddle a little with the delicately placed raspberries atop the pie as he approaches from the other side of the island. You wear a tiny silver ring on one finger, much like one he wears on his own. He'd spotted it before, during short interactions in the elevator. He suppresses the urge to comment on it now, to ask if it meant anything to you.
He doesn't need to know you. He couldn't afford to. He was finding himself attached enough without it.
Then you pluck one little berry up in your fingers and bring it to your lips. He watches you. He watches you and he knows that he's walked willingly into a trap.
"Sweet?"
You look up. "Hm? Oh." You nod. "They're lovely. My friend gets them from this farm near his parent's place."
Friend. His. He sits in the feeling that stirs in his chest for a quiet moment. It's a rotten feeling. He doesn't like it at all.
"He brings them often?" he finds himself asking.
"Not at all. He just happened to come by after being there for a weekend. He doesn't go there often, I don't think." Your accompanying smile is almost enough to snuff out the rotten feeling before he has time to digest it. Almost.
Then he considers that this might not be the only pie. You may have made this other guy a pie just like it... maybe it was bigger, maybe you'd used the sweetest berries in his pie.
He kicks a cat toy across the floor as he stuffs his hands in his pockets, a little embarrassed by his own internal monologue. Witchcraft, turning his brain into mush.
"You have a pretty view."
He looks up to find you brushing your hands down your apron and rounding the kitchen island. You seem drawn to his floor to ceiling windows, a little moth to the light.
He follows.
"Mine isn't nearly this nice," you continue once he's standing beside you. "All I get is the construction site and a concrete wall." Then you close your eyes, head tilting back a little to let the sun's afternoon rays bathe your face. "Don't get the sun like this, either," you add, a little dreaminess leaking into your already sweet voice.
Oh, he's fucked.
"You like it?"
You blink up at him, eyes adjusting to the light again. "Hm?"
"I mean if you really like it, you're welcome over anytime, whenever." He wonders if this is part of your spell work, making him say stupid shit. Maybe he'd be better off if you were casting spells on him, if he had a reasonable excuse for being so fucking braindead. "For the sun," he adds, like it makes it better.
A small breath of laughter slips from your pretty lips. "It does get a little gloomy over there, on my side of the wall."
It was hard to imagine anywhere you were being gloomy.
"I should go," you continue after a short moment of comfortable silence, each of you basking in the sunlight. He really should appreciate that more, he notes. Then he considers the fact he'll associate this little patch of warmth with you each time he attempts such a thing.
"Sure," he says, following you from a safe distance to the door. "Thank you. For the pie."
"You're welcome."
Everything is fine. He's alone and he survived the encounter. Then he's faced with the pie. He stares down at it, warm and made with careful hands.
He plucks a berry off the top. He thinks of the berry you'd eaten in the same way.
Everything is fine.
He hesitates as he goes to pluck a second berry. Instead of lifting one from the crust, he presses the tip of his finger a little against the surface. Warm. He breaks through. His finger is coated in syrupy, red filling when he pulls it free. It's sugary sweet when he sucks it clean.
Shame. That's what he feels next. Because sweet gestures of neighbourly kindness should not trigger the kind of thoughts creeping their way into his head.
He wonders if the little siren's cunt is as warm and sweet as the little offering she brought him. He considers doing the right thing, having a cold shower and sitting in the morning sun with a slice of pie.
But apparently, today, and the day before, and every day for the past 6 months, Minho was not wise and he wasn't very good. Because he let the thoughts of his sweet little neighbour stew for months, and this is where it'd led him.
He stands there, one palm pressed flat on the kitchen counter, the other buried in his sweatpants, and he thinks of the sweet little siren with her sweet offerings, and he imagines sinking his hard cock into her warm, sweet cunt.
It's hard not to deflate entirely as you close your apartment door behind you. You'd expected too much from a single pie, you suppose. It would entirely out of character for him to ask you to stay for a slice, to take the opportunity to finally have a conversation longer than an elevator ride.
You sigh, dropping your forehead against the cool surface of the door. It helps a little. You're overheated, both from the cooking, the warm sun, and the heat that had bubbled up from the inside as the pretty - yet frustratingly reserved - man next door had watched you move about his space.
You hadn't lied, his apartment was far nicer than yours. You could imagine basking in that patch of sun any chance you had. You wonder if he does the same, if he sits there after a shower, chest bare and hair still a little damp - letting the sun warm his skin.
You leap back as a knock on the door jolts you out of your daydream. Sighing, you press your palm to your forehead - head thoroughly rattled - as you pull the door open.
Oh.
"Hi," Minho says casually. He's a little flushed compared to when you'd left him minutes earlier. He shouldn't be. There were no stairs between your apartments.
"Hello, again."
He glances over your shoulder, getting a clear view of your empty living room. "It is darker in here," he says, still casual.
"Oh. Mm, yeah. I miss your sun already."
His eyes fix back on you. Then he pulls his lip between his teeth slightly. He has something to say... something he won't say.
"Why'd you make me the pie?" he asks.
You blink. "I... had a lot of berries from-"
"Your friend. I know."
You're officially confused. His eyes drop down your dirty apron before returning to your face. "You only made one?"
"Is it bad?" you question.
He pushes some hair away from his eyes. "No," he says quickly. "No, it's... nice." His eyes sweep down your body again. "Sweet," he adds.
"I only made one."
His eyes jump to yours before a brief look of confusion flashes across his pretty face. He seems to remember his own question soon enough. "You didn't want to give it to," he gestures vaguely behind you, "your friend?"
"No," you answer simply. This entire interaction was drifting into territory you weren't sure you were ready for. If his questions got any more interrogative, you might find yourself wondering how to answer them in any other way than 'Oh, the pie? I baked it for you because I have a huge, embarrassing crush on you, even if you've seemed intent on not knowing me.'
"He doesn't like pies?" he asks.
You can't help following the path of his fingers as he fiddles with the chain hanging around his neck. They brush his skin as he strokes the metal back and forth.
"I... don't understand what you're asking me," you say as you pull your eyes from his neck. "Is something wrong?"
He readjusts his position in the doorway, pressing his hand to the frame and freeing you from the constant distraction at his neck. He leans over you a little like this.
God, he's pretty.
"You a witch?" he asks.
"I'm sorry?"
"Did you put something in it?" he continues, still leaning well and truly into your space. "Something to make me-" he cuts himself off, brows furrowing.
"Are you asking me if I poisoned the pie?"
His voice drops, like someone might overhear, despite you both being entirely alone on this floor of the building. "I'm trying to figure out why all I can fucking think about is how you might taste on my tongue."
Your head rushes, all the heat returning. Then your eyes drop to the floor.
"Look at me, sweetheart."
You don't. His shoes are safer. He was flirting. More than flirting. He wanted you.
His fingers guide your chin up, it doesn't take much, a nudge. "I'll leave if you want," he says. "Never mention it again. Just tell me what you want."
"Did you like it?" you find yourself whispering. "The pie."
His lips crack into a lopsided smile. It's tiny, but it's a smile. "Loved it, sweetheart. Sent me to heaven."
"Would you... would you like to come in?"
He nods.
You go to turn, to let him follow you. But then, instead, you take his hand and lead him in. He's warm. You imagine all the sun he gets over there must've absorbed deep inside him over time. Maybe he could leave some of it behind here for you - that heat might leak from him if your kept him here long enough.
He follows where you lead, his hand still grasped firmly in your own. You're not sure why you lead him to the sofa. You aren't sure what you're expecting next. It's why you find yourself simply standing beside the piece of furniture waiting for him to say something – to let go of your hand maybe.
Instead, his thumb begins brushing over your skin. He's quiet, seemingly unhurried to break the tension building.
"I asked my friend to bring the berries," you confess quietly, eyes focused on your interwined hands. Confessions were always so much easier with your eyes downwards. "I wanted to make something for you... specifically."
"Why's that?"
His thumb continues against your skin. He doesn't make you look at him like he had before.
"Because I... wanted you to - I wanted your attention."
You can hear the smile in his voice when he speaks, "So you baked me a pie?"
"I'm good at baking."
"You are," he agrees. Then his other hand reaches for the hem of your apron. He rubs it between his fingers a little. "Messy though."
You look down at the patterned splotches, pink on white. Then he releases your hand, taking that warmth with him. He only allows you a few seconds to miss it though. That same hand snakes around the back of your neck, skin on skin.
Your eyes are drawn to his without thought.
"Are you always messy?" he asks.
You nod, chewing on your lip a little.
He seems pleased with your answer, a small hum escaping his throat. "I like messy," he says, sounding a little far away. "Do you like messy, sweetheart?"
Your eyes drop to his lips, a little stained from your pie filling. "Yeah," you breathe.
He tugs you towards him before your have time to suck in another breath, attaching himself to you like he's starved. You can't help gasping a little into his mouth as he presses you into him with a hand to your back.
Holy fuck. Surely you'd wake up slumped against the door any second. Maybe someone hadn't just knocked on the door. Someone had opened it and knocked you out and you were dreaming about your pretty, brown eyed neighbour.
He groans a little before taking your lip between his teeth. No. No you were definitely awake. "So sweet," he mumbles as he releases you, his breath ghosting over your wet lips. "Can I have you?"
It's hard to keep his head on straight as you look up at him with those big sweet eyes. Can I have you? His stomach rolls as he waits for you to say yes. Please say yes. 6 months of denial and he was desperate.
You'd made that sweet little gift for him. Just for him. His little siren.
Then you're pressing against his chest, forcing him down onto the sofa. He looks up at you, at the stained apron and the hair sticking a little to your temples from the time spent making his pie.
Then you lower yourself to your knees.
Oh, fuck.
Your hands only have to brush his legs for him to get the hint. He spreads them, allowing you to shuffle closer to him – settling between his thighs.
Then you look up at him. "Can I taste you?"
He's keeping you. His head drops back as he collects himself. Then, "You want my cock in your pretty little mouth?"
You nod, fingers pressing lightly into his thighs.
Minutes ago he was fucking himself into his own hand imagining how warm you'd feel around him. Now you're between his legs, lips wet, asking to taste him.
He's careful to keep his eyes on you as he frees himself, intent on catching each and every reaction you make – he's keeping it all.
You're a little hesitant as you reach for him. "You're good, sweetheart," he encourages. "Touch me however you like."
It seems to be all you need. In the next second your soft little hand is wrapping around his length. His head drops back again as his eyes close.
It's a mistake, closing his eyes. He's not prepared when your wet lips press to the tip of him, soft and warm. He groans, hand automatically making a home in your hair. He needs grounding. He needs –
Your lips wrap around him. His little siren was sucking his dick into her sweet little mouth. His hips jump a little. "Oh fuck, that's right. You're all warm for me."
You hum a little around him. Then, you take him deeper. Hot little tongue dancing over his sensitive skin.
"Good girl," he groans. "Take it for me, sweetheart." He resists the urge to spill himself right here, right against your tongue. "Hm? You taking it for me?"
His hips jump again as he fucks himself into your hot mouth, wet and sweet and just for him. You'd wanted his attention. You'd come for him. Just him.
"You mine?" he gasps as he forces his head up to look at you. "You gonna let me fuck you?"
Your lips pull off him slowly, a little suction at his tip sending his head spinning. "Do you want to?" you ask, lips swollen.
He leans forward enough to begin lifting you, encouraging you to climb into his lap. Each hand rests at your hips as you settle yourself there, his leaking cock pressed between you.
"So bad," he answers.
You shift a little in his lap. He imagines you squirming on his cock.
"Me too," you confess. It's quiet, like it's bad.
Sweet siren.
"Sit on me," he instructs. "Want you to bounce on me, sweetheart."
You eyelashes flutter as you blink a few times, processing, deciding. Then you shift, reaching up under your dress and tugging your underwear down.
Something in his stomach stirs when he realises you were leaving the rest on, apron and all.
You grasp him in a soft hand, guiding him beneath your clothes – then you sink down. He's transfixed by the little sound that escapes your lips as you take him in. That, and the way your cunt feels squeezing around him. He might have to keep you for fucking ever.
Hot and sweet and wet and better than he'd imagined as he'd fucked himself against his counter minutes earlier. Better than any of the scenarios he'd dreamed up over the months he'd spent thinking of his sweet little neighbour.
You fall into him with a sigh once you're full seated, cock buried deep.
"Doing so well," he says, hand squeezing a little at the back of your neck.
You mumble something into his neck in response. He can't quite make it out, but he swears, it almost sounds like a tiny 'thank you'. He has to keep himself from filling you at the thought of it.
His hands return to your hips. You must take it as a prompt because you lean back from him enough to begin lifting yourself off him and dropping again.
It's slow at first, a little swivel in your hips, grinding yourself down into him.
The apron prevents him from seeing how his cock looks slipping in and out of your little cunt. He hasn't even seen it, that sweet little hole between your legs.
Instead, he feels.
It makes sense that a man as pretty as him would have the prettiest cock. One you wanted to taste. One that would have you slippery and ready to take him.
There's this vein that throbs in his neck each time he drops his head back with a groan. His neck. God you want to lean forward and bite into it. But he might not be into that. Next time, you think. Or the time after that.
God you hope there's a next time.
His fingers dig into your hip as you sink all the way down again. It feels a little like he's resisting, holding back.
"Minho?"
His head lifts, eyes a little glassy as he blinks at you. "Hm?"
"You can fuck me," you tell him. "However you want. I want you to fuck me."
He blinks again. His fingers dig into your skin harder.
"Tell me when you wanna stop. Just tell me," he says.
You nod. Then he's leaning forward and tugging you against him. His lips press to your skin just at the crook of your neck.
Then you're falling. He falls over you. Then he lets go. He presses you into the couch cushions as he drives into you, hair falling over his face. He's even pretty like this, with parted lips and brows slightly furrowed.
Your skin slaps together as he fucks himself into you. Messy, he'd said. He liked messy.
That's what he gets as he continutes to drive into you, as you begin to drip around him, as he fucks that wetness into you and over your thighs and then the sounds it all makes.... messy.
"Wanna fill you," he mutters. "God, I wanna fill you so bad. Wanna fuck my cum into your sweet cunt."
You squeeze your eyes shut as he continues, overwhelmed.
"You can take it for me, angel. I know you can. Sweet little thing made just for me. I knew it." He's muttering so much you're hardly sure he even knows what he's saying. His fingers are almost painful as they dig into your skin, like he can't hold onto you hard enough.
"Fill me," you gasp.
He eyes lift from where you join together to lock on your face. "Yeah?" he asks, a slight croakiness breaking his words up a little. "I'll make you all warm and sticky inside, hm? Just like your pretty little pie? That sound nice?"
Oh god. There was something inside you, something made for this – for him. You knew this was going to ruin you forever.
"Please."
He falls over you, then he bites. He bites into you as he floods you full.
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scarletcomalies · 2 months ago
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Imagine Natasha, your mom's best friend, who accepted the task of teaching you self-defense classes. However, in just a few sessions, she was also able to tame your arrogant attitude.
Word count: 1,483
Warnings: Theft, mention of knives and guns, brat reader. 18+ content, degrading, restraint, slight bit of dub-con, Nat has a penis, daddy kink, unprotected sex, breeding.
A/N: Not sure how drabbles work, but I was bored at a birthday party, and I felt like writing a little something hehe.
It all started when a thief had taken your handpurse from you and ran away quickly.
You barely felt it being snatched from you, and as you turned around, you realized that the thief was already at a considerable distance, so you opted to simply mutter a curse under your breath and continue on your way.
The thief was going to be disappointed when he sees its contents anyway, and you weren't going to run in heels for lipstick, a crumpled five dollar bill and your student ID.
Although it wasn't a particularly shocking event, your mother, with her tendency toward overprotectiveness, was convinced that this event had irreversibly scarred you. As a result, she decided to ask her best friend, Natasha Romanoff, to teach you self-defense classes.
From the beginning, you made clear your disinterest in attending. You arrived intentionally late for every session, and at the redhead's scoldings, you would simply roll your eyes and dismiss her words with disdain. During training, you often interrupted her instructions with snide remarks, and refused to follow her directions, preferring to improvise moves that lacked technique. There was something magnetic in her determination and in the way her green eyes flashed with frustration that made you purposefully act even more insufferable than usual. You loved to see it.
During lessons, there were times when she would restrain you from behind so that you would repeat the technique she had taught you, and you could feel a bulge in her pants rubbing against your ass. It was such a yearning feeling, that you would pretend to do it all wrong, so that she would make you repeat it, and in that way, prolong the contact.
"Your mom just wants to protect you, you know?" Natasha remarked, once another not-so-successful session was over.
You were so exhausted, you preferred to sit on the floor with your legs crossed rather than even get up to help Natasha put the equipment away.
"Come on," you scoffed from your spot. "The thief barely touched me. He just took my handpurse and left."
"Fortunately," Natasha replied. "Imagine if he'd had a knife, or worse, a gun. Imagine if you had been alone, at night."
She took your silence as if you didn't really care to understand your mother's point of view, but in reality, you were reflecting. She just wanted you to know how to take care of yourself, in case something worse than that happened. And Natasha had been so nice and patient to you.
But before you could respond, she spoke up, "What am I bothering to convince you for? You probably are so selfish, that you'd let someone stab you just to worry your poor mother."
You weren't sure if her words had hurt or offended you, as perhaps you had taken your attitude to such an extreme that you had actually caused her to have a twisted perception of you. It was true that you possessed certain difficult qualities, but you were not evil. Sometimes you simply felt that your mother's overprotection was excessive, and that made you more irritable than usual.
What you said next was the result of not having slept at all the night before, for you had been studying intensely for an exam. Despite all the sleeplessness, you didn't manage to answer it as you expected, leaving many questions blank. All that you had accumulated, added to her hurtful words, led you to say the following...
"And you probably have a tiny dick," you snapped. "And maybe that's why you're bitter and miserable, because no one wants you."
Natasha was silent for a moment, too peacefully that it was scary, but her intense, darkened eyes were the only thing that allowed you to realize that she was indeed impacted by your words.
"Dare to say that again?" She challenged you, the tension in the atmosphere becoming more palpable every second.
"No one wants a woman with a small dick," you crossed your arms over your chest, arching your eyebrow in that defiant manner she was already more than sick of.
Natasha began to laugh, but it wasn't the sarcastic kind of laugh, no, it was one that was beginning to terrify you and hindering your ability to maintain your composure.
Natasha approached you with firm steps, her commanding presence filling the space between you both. She was so close that you could watch her green orbes, deep and piercing, burning with such intensity that you felt that at any moment, she was going to set the whole room on fire.
She simply pulled down her pants and boxers at the same time, at the level of her thighs, and seeing the massive size of her member, made you swallow your words.
"Is this a small dick for you?" She asked, seemingly satisfied at your shocked expression.
And as if the situation wasn't humiliating enough, Natasha used a quick and precise maneuver, where she grabbed your shoulders and, in an instant, had you face down on the floor. She proceeded to restrain your wrists against the small of your back, and by straddling the back of your legs, she prevented any movement from them as well.
"Come on, defend yourself like I taught you," she groaned, pressing you harder against the cold floor.
You tried to free yourself from her grip, but every move you made only brought you more pain, because Natasha, with her keen perception, detected every attempt to escape and prevented it with ease, adjusting her grip to make you feel even more trapped.
The whimpers you emanated were so delightful to her ears, making her cock grow more erect. She didn't know who was suffering the most, whether she for not filling your bratty hole right there, or you, who were being physically and verbally degraded.
"That's what I thought," she chuckled, grabbing the shaft of her cock and smacking it softly against your covered ass.
With one hand, albeit clumsily, she managed to pull down your pants and panties just like she did a few moments ago, and released your wrists so that, with her two hands, she held your waist and positioned you on all fours so firmly that you felt as if you had no control over your own body.
"Don't think I haven't noticed how you pretend to be dumber than you are, just to feel my cock against you," she remarked. Obviously, she was able to understand the workings of incredibly complex, criminal and dangerous minds, how could she not detect yours? A clueless, spoiled, college student. "You probably said that just so you could see it, hm? So desperate for Daddy's cock."
But it was very double standards on her part, calling you desperate when she always ended up in the training facility bathrooms after you left, grunting your name between longing gasps as she pleasured herself.
She ran the tip over your awaiting hole, but as she noticed how it contracted in anticipation, almost imploring to be filled, the last ounce of reason left her body, letting her full length inside you. And better than she had imagined, your warm, wet pussy welcomed her deliciously.
In unison, you let out a prolongued moan of pleasure, both of you mitigating that unspoken desire that had become so unbearable.
Her movements began slow and safe, intending to feel for as long as possible how tight you felt around her, and to hear those low moans you vocalized every time she entered and exited you, complemented by the sloshing sound your hole made in consequence.
But that same action was what provoked her breath to quicken, and along with it, her rythm. Her hips were working overtime to match her cock's desperate needs, but it was impossible when said needs increased every passing second with the way you were whimpering, now high pitched and more frequent.
"Can a small dick fill your hole this good, hm?" She groaned, tilting her head back as she felt her climax approaching.
"No! No!" You cried out, and just like her, you could feel it coming. Your head was growing fuzzy for the pleasure altering every fiber of your being, like the most powerful drug ever made. "I'm sorry, Daddy! I lied! I love your big, fat cock! Please!"
She swore to herself that she was going to be strong and proud enough to stop when you admitted it, having already achieved her goal, but your words made her cum involuntarily erupt inside of you.
That sensation of being completely filled with her seed made your orgasm follow hers a little later, yours and her release leaving her cock shiny and dripping with your mixed juices.
Natasha was aware that even the most intense masturbation would not match how wonderfully your pussy embraced her cock, and how mesmerizing was the sight of your ass bouncing whenever your bodies clashed together.
Imagination was not going to overcome reality, in this case.
So she preferred, just this once, not to be frustrated by her loss of control.
931 notes · View notes
lxndonorris · 5 months ago
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home race - Oscar Piastri
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Y/N x Oscar Piastri Theme: Smut (you've been warned) you're in a long-distance relationship with Oscar and surprise him at his "home race" x word count: 3250+ taglist: @game-set-canet open for requests :) EN: Another big piece and I hope you'll like it. My first time writing Oscar.
You sat in your living room, staring at your phone. The screen displayed a countdown timer you set months ago when you and Oscar, your boyfriend, decided you could handle a long-distance relationship.
Living in the United States while dating a Formula 1 driver based in Europe wasn't easy, but the two of you made it work. You spoke every day, sent each other thoughtful gifts, and cherished the moments you could spend together in person.
The countdown finally hit zero. It is time for your big surprise.
Oscar is in Monaco for the Grand Prix, and you planned to surprise him for months since the season started. You told him you wouldn't be able to make it due to work commitments, but in reality, you managed to arrange everything perfectly, with a little help from the Mclaren Team.
You had your flights booked, your accommodation sorted, and a special pass that would allow you into the Mclaren motorhome, where Oscar would eventually be.
When you boarded your flight, you felt a mixture of excitement and nerves. You knew how much this surprise would mean to Oscar. The past few months have been challenging for him, dealing with the pressures of being a professional F! driver while missing you. You wanted to make this moment unforgettable.
After a long flight and a quick check-in at your hotel in Monaco, you head straight to the racetrack. You are wearing a Mclaren team hoodie, jeans, and a fitting cap, blending in with the team. You find your way to the motorhome and, with the help of a team member who is in on the surprise, get inside and wait for Oscar.
The atmosphere in Monaco is electric. The sun shines brightly over the azure waters of the Mediterranean, and the roar of engines echoes through the narrow streets of the city. The Monaco Grand Prix is one of the most prestigious races on the calendar, and the excitement is palpable.
The qualifying session just ends, and he pushes his car to the limit and secures second place on the grid. The team is ecstatic, and Oscar feels a rush of adrenaline as he climbs out of the car, waving to the cheering fans. 
Inside the motorhome, your heart races as you finally hear footsteps approaching. The door opens, and you turn around to see Oscar standing there, a look of shock and disbelief on his face.
"Y/N? Is that really you?" Oscar's voice trembles with emotion.
You smile, your eyes filling with tears.
"Surprise!"
Oscar closes the distance between you in an instant, wrapping you in a tight embrace. He buries his face in her hair, inhaling your familiar scent, and holds you as if he never wants to let go.
At the same time, the faint scent of him swirls around you, and with a deep breath, you take it in, closing your eyes for a second to relish in this moment.
"What are you doing here?" He murmurs, his voice choked with emotion. "I can't believe you're here."
"I wanted to be here for you, at your home race." You say softly. "I've missed you so much, Oscar Piastri Leclerc."
Both of you pull back slightly to look at each other, your eyes meeting with an intensity that speaks volumes. Oscar cups your face in his hands, his thumbs gently brushing away the tears that escape down your cheeks.
"I've missed you too, Y/N. More than you can imagine."
You kiss—a tender and passionate kiss that seems to make up for all the time you spent apart. 
When you finally break apart, Oscar can't stop smiling.
"You look amazing in that Mclaren gear," he says, his eyes roaming all over you as they sparkle with admiration.
You chuckle, feeling a warmth spread through you. "I have to show my support for my favorite driver."
As you stand facing each other, the air between you seems to be charged with electricity. You feel the tension and excitement from qualifying still radiating off Oscar. 
Tentatively, you reach out, letting your hand run across his firm chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heaving chest beneath your fingertips. His whole body is slightly tensed, still buzzing from the adrenaline rush.
Oscar's eyes soften as he looks at you, a smile spreading across his lips.
"It's so good to see you," he murmurs, his voice filled with awe.
You smile back, your gaze drifting over his racing suit. "You look so good in that green and yellow racing suit, Oscar. Really, you do. It suits you perfectly."
The special suit, designed to honor Senna, clings to his frame in all the right ways, accentuating his athletic build. The vibrant colors contrast beautifully with his complexion, making him look every bit the star he is.
Oscar chuckles, a hint of pride in his eyes. "Thanks. I didn't think I could pull off these colors, but hearing it from you makes me believe it."
Your fingers linger on his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his breath. "I missed you so much," you whisper, your voice thick with emotion. 
As your hand continues to stroke his chest, you feel Oscar's hands move to your waist, his fingers lightly gripping the fabric of your jeans. He pulls you slightly closer; your bodies now mere inches apart. The intensity of his gaze makes your heart flutter.
"Do you have some free time?" You ask, your voice soft and teasing, eyes glimmering with anticipation.
Oscar smirks, a playful glint in his eyes. "For you? Always."
The corner of your mouth lifts in a smile, your hand moving up to his shoulder. "Good." You breathe deeply, feeling the tension between you increase even more. "Because I've been waiting for this moment for a long time."
Unable to resist any longer, you lean in and kiss him passionately. The moment your lips meet, Oscar melts into the kiss, his arms tightening around your waist. The warmth and familiarity of the embrace make everything else disappear, leaving just the two of you in your own private world.
As the kiss deepens, you steady yourself against his firm chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath your palm. His hum of approval sends a thrill through you, and you take your time, savoring the moment, relishing the closeness you missed for far too long.
With a teasing glint in your eye, you reach for the zipper of his racing suit. Slowly, you begin to unzip it, feeling the resistance of the fabric give way. Oscar's breath hitches as you draw the zipper down to his tummy, exposing his tight black fireproofs beneath.
You let your hands slip inside, and stroke his chest. "You look so good," you murmur, your hands resting on the exposed fabric. The smooth, taut material hugs his body, accentuating his toned muscles.
Oscar's eyes darken with desire as he looks at your hands running across his chest, a mixture of amusement and longing playing on his features. "You're making it very hard to concentrate," he says, his voice low and husky.
You chuckle softly, your fingers tracing patterns on his fireproofs. "Good," you whisper, leaning in for another kiss. 
This time, it is slower, more deliberate; each touch and caress a reminder of the desire crackling between you.
As your kisses grow more intense, you feel the heat rising between your bodies. Oscar's hands roam over your back, pulling you even closer, as if he can't bear to let you go.
With your hands still roaming over his chest, you draw a line down to his abs, feeling the firm muscles beneath your fingertips. Each touch elicits several low growls from deep inside his throat, the sound sending shivers down your spine. As you continue your exploration, Oscar leans his head back, his eyes closing as he savors the sensation.
You decide to take things a step further. 
"Let me help you." You breathe deeply, gently pushing the upper half of his suit off his shoulders. 
Oscar obliges, his breath hitching as you peel the fabric away, revealing more of his muscular torso. The sleeves hang down from his waist, the tight fireproofs beneath barely able to contain the immense tension building inside him.
His muscles bulge with each movement, with each breath he takes, the strain and excitement of the day evident in every contour of his body. You can't help but admire him, your hands now tracing the lines of his arms, feeling the strength beneath his skin.
Oscar opens his eyes and looks at you, his gaze filled with desire and affection. "You're driving me crazy," he growls, his voice rough with need.
You smile with a playful glint in your eye. "Flex for me." You reply, your fingers continuing their journey across his entire upper body.
With a mischievous grin, Oscar obliges again, flexing his arms and chest, showcasing the impressive muscles that have been honed through countless hours of training. The sight makes your heart skip a beat; a rush of admiration and desire floods through you.
"Like what you see?" he teases, his eyes sparkling with mischief.
You bite your lip, trying to keep your composure as you let your hands roam over his flexed muscles. "You have no idea," you reply, your voice filled with genuine awe.
He chuckles, the sound low and rumbling from deep inside his chest. "I'm just glad you're here to see it."
One of your hands traces the contours of his biceps, feeling the power and strength beneath your fingers, while you let your other hand roam freely across his chest and even further down to his crotch.
You feel his hunger building up inside his pants; the fabric bulges just along his member tenting visibly. With two fingers, you trace the tangible outlines of his lust again and again, eliciting more and more deep growls from his throat.
Oscar is thoroughly enjoying himself, responding to your teasing with a mixture of laughter and passion. You see the gleam in his eyes, the way he savors every touch and caress. 
Then, with a bold move, you slip one of your hands underneath his fireproofs, feeling the intense heat of his skin radiating against your palm.
Oscar's breath hitches at the sensation, his eyes so dark with desire. With a swift motion, he swipes the Mclaren cap from your head and lets it drop to the floor. A playful chuckle escapes his lips as he leans in, capturing your mouth in a deep, fervent kiss.
The kiss is electric, filled with a hunger that threatens to consume you both—the long separation and the yearning that built up between you. Your fingers splay across his warm skin, feeling the hard lines of his muscles beneath your fingertips. 
Oscar's hands roam over your back again, pulling you closer, before he takes the lead, guiding you through the room and across a huge empty wall. Gently, your back meets the wall, steadying the two of you fully. 
You feel the rhythm of his heartbeat, fast and powerful, matching your own. The world around you seems to fade away, leaving just the two of you locked in your passionate embrace.
His hands are now all over your chest, his touch both soft and possessive. Each caress sends waves of electricity through you, making your pulse race as far as his race car.
Oscar's kisses trail down your neck, leaving a warm, tingling sensation in their wake. His lips are gentle yet insistent, making a path that sets your skin on fire. The sensation is almost overwhelming—a perfect blend of tenderness and desire that makes your heart swell with emotion.
Amidst your intimate moment, you take in Oscar's familiar scent, a comforting aroma that envelopes you in a sense of security and belonging—a mixture of his cologne, mingled with the faint trace of adrenaline from the day's events, and the subtle hint of his natural scent.
Breathing him in, you feel a wave of warmth wash over you, and his scent is like a familiar embrace, making it even harder to concentrate.
Now, his hands slide underneath your hoodie, his fingertips dancing across your skin. You shiver at the sensation, your body responding instinctively to his touch. The contrast of his warm hands against the cool evening air heightens your senses, making every touch feel even more intense.
"You're amazing." Oscar breathes against your neck, his voice rough with emotion. "I need you."
Your breath hitches, your hands grip his shoulders for support as you tilt your head back, giving him better access. "Oscar," you whisper, your voice trembling with a mixture of desire and affection.
His hands roam freely now, exploring every inch of your torso with a reverent touch. You feel the strength and control in his fingers, the way he holds you as if you were the most precious thing in the world.
You arch into his touch, your own hands exploring the hard planes of his back, feeling the tension in his muscles. The fabric of his fireproofs is smooth and cool against your palms, a stark contrast to the heat radiating from his body.
"Oscar." You murmur again, your voice barely audible as you revel in the sensations he is creating. "I need you, too."
He lifts his head, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that takes your breath away.
"I'm right here," he replies, his voice steady yet husky.
Licking your lips in anticipation, you let out a long, exhausted sigh. At the same time, you feel one of his hands make its way down your chest and right to your jeans. In one swift motion, he unbuttons it, just to make way for his hand to slip inside.
Your breath hitches right away as you feel his fingers tracing patterns in all the right places.
Even though it's hard to keep your composure, you manage to return the favor, letting one of your hands run down his back, along his spine, around his waist, and between his legs.
As you touch him, Oscar lets out a low, primal groan, the culmination of all the teasing and desire building up between them. His response sends a thrill through you, igniting a fire that burns hotter with each passing moment.
The tension is palpable; both of you are aching for a release, craving the other's touch.
Together, you help each other undress just enough to make it work. Panting and growling, he tugs at your jeans until they are sliding down to your ankles, so his hands stroke your thighs delicately.
Then, it's your turn to help him. Pulling at the suit clinging to his skin, the two of you manage to pull his length out of his pants, just for you to hold it and play with it.
Exhausted, Oscar leans in, kissing you passionately. You melt into him, offering yourself for what's to come next.
The moment he slides inside your body, it sparks a tingling sensation inside your stomach, and you let out a low grunt. Simultaneously, he moans right into your mouth, making it even harder to keep a straight face.
He is the first to take the lead again.
With your back against the wall, he begins to grind his hips against yours, rhythmically, sensually, and it is easy for you to catch up. The two of you move in sync with one another, letting out low growls, moans, and grunts.
Your hands wander all over his chest, stroking him through his firerpoofs. Oscar's breath comes in ragged gasps, his eyes dark with desire as he watches you. 
The sensation of your touch through the fabric sends waves of heat through him, encouraging him to increase the pace and strength of his thrusts. In return, he steadies himself against the wall behind you while his other hand lingers on your breasts.
Your movements are slow and deliberate; you are fully aware of his most sensitive spots, and you encourage him more and more. Pinching his nipples, tracing the tangible outlines of his abs, and feeling his muscles bulge harder and hader.
Panting and moaning, Oscar's body grows stiff and rigid; unable to contain himself, he bites his lower lip before he grunts angrily.
"Fuck."
You revel in the power you have over him and the way he responds so intensely to your touch.
With each stroke, you feel him growing even more aroused, his body still tightening instinctively to your touch. His hands grip your breasts tighter, sending waves of pleasure through your entire body.
The two of you move as one; every thrust sends you closer and closer to the edge, and the way he grunts deeply tells you he feels the same.
As you lose yourself in the heat of the moment, you know there is no turning back. Your passion burns bright, consuming you both in a whirlwind of sensation and emotion.
With one final, heavy thrust, both of you let go of all that pressure and tension and scream out in ecstasy.
Several exhausted moans leave Oscar's lips, and he leans forward, grateful for the wall steadying him. At the same time, you lean your head back, moaning deeply.
You rest your head against his shoulder, swallowing hard. His body embraces yours right away; his firm shoulder is the perfect place right now.
Out of breath, the two of you barely regain your composure before you lock eyes again, both of you smiling contently.
"That was so good." He moans, exhausted, before he leans in, kissing you deeply.
"Oscar." You breathe into him, kissing him back.
After your passionate moment, you share another tender smile, your hearts still racing with the intensity of your connection. 
With gentle touches and soft kisses, you help each other get dressed again, your movements slow and deliberate again.
As you adjust the sleeves of his fireproofs, you look up at Oscar, your eyes filled with affection. "You were amazing today," you say, your voice filled with pride. "I am so proud of you."
Oscar smiles back, his expression softening. "I am so glad you are here." He replies, his voice tinged with gratitude.
As he begins to change into fresh clothes, you watch him closely, unable to tear your eyes away. 
Oscar moves with natural grace; every movement is fluid and confident. You can't help but admire the way his muscles shift beneath his skin as he removes his racing suit and tight firerpoofs.
He catches your gaze, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. Sensing your admiration, he makes a little show out of changing, exaggerating his movements slightly as he slips out of his fireproofs and into a fresh pair of underwear you hand him.
You laught at his antics, enjoining the playful side of him that he reserves just for you. As you pull on the pair of jeans and the Mclaren shirt, you feel a surge of affection for him, admiring the way he looks in the team gear.
"You look amazing." You say. "But then again, you always do."
Oscar grins, his eyes shining brightly. "I have to look my best, especially with you around." He replies, his tone teasing.
With a final adjustment to his shirt, Oscar turns to you, his expression softening. "Thank you for being here," he says, his voice sincere. 
You reach out and place your hand on his chest again, gently stroking him once more. "I'll always be here for you." You reply. "No matter what."
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band--psycho · 2 months ago
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Sylus x Reader - No Going Back
Main Masterlist / Sylus Masterlist / Join My Taglist
My first Sylus story...Before anyone asks, yes there will be a part 2 to this!
Please be kind; reblogs are always welcome and greatly appreciated!
Thank you all for the continued support and I hope you all enjoy this! 💛
Requests are open so if you have any ideas/requests, you're more than welcome to send them over
I do not give permission for any of my works to be copied or translated onto this site or other platforms
Warnings: Mature themes, mentions of sex , swearing
Sleeping with Sylus was a mistake; at least that’s what you kept telling yourself whenever you felt your memories drifting to him and the night you had spent together not too long ago. 
Sleeping with him was one of the best mistakes you’d made in a long time, but it was a mistake nonetheless; one that you couldn’t risk making again. 
That’s why you’d been ignoring not only his calls, but also Luke and Kierans. 
You needed to put distance between you and the leader of Onychinus; in your mind this was a simple thing to do, you just needed to talk or see him. 
But in reality, this ended up being much harder than you could’ve ever imagined it being. 
You missed him. 
You wanted to talk to him. 
You wanted to be around him. 
You wanted the ‘mistake’ you kept thinking about so often, to happen again. 
You wanted him and being the one purposefully put the distance between the two of you hurt. 
A small sigh left your lips when you saw your phone light up with another incoming call from his number. 
You knew you should just block his number; it would certainly make trying to ignore him easier, but you could never bring yourself to do it. 
For a few seconds, your finger hovered over the flashing green answer button, your heart just longing to hear his voice again even if it was just to hear him say a few words. 
But then  your mind regained control over your emotions, you couldn’t talk to him 
It would just make everything harder.
So you declined the call and tossed your phone onto the couch, in an attempt to avoid any temptation. 
You were going to go out for a walk, in the hopes that it would potentially help you clear your head, but when you opened your door, you were met with the very person you’d been avoiding.
“We need to talk,” Sylus said simply, slipping past you and into your apartment. 
You stood there for a few moments, trying to process what was happening as well as trying to work out what you were going to do. 
You could run? 
But he’d catch you. 
You could stay.
But that came with its own risks.
“I suggest you shut the door, unless you want people to start asking questions,” he continued, snapping you out of your thoughts. 
Run. 
Stay. 
Run..
Stay…
Your heart won the battle. 
You closed the door, trying to persuade yourself that you were only doing this so that no one found out that he was here and not because you wanted to see him. 
You took a deep breath, before turning to look at Sylus, whose rube eyes were fixed on you. 
“You know it’s very rude to ignore phone calls from people,” he pointed out, using his evol to lift my phone from the couch and into his hands. 
Eventhough he hid it well, you could see the hurt in his eyes…that look, that fleeting look of sadness was enough to make you want to break every single rule you’d been giving yourself. 
“You can’t be here,” Y/n said, holding his gaze. 
What if he got caught? 
What if someone found out you two knew each other? 
It was too dangerous for both of you. 
“You’ve been avoiding me, what else was I meant to do?” he asked, raising an eyebrow inquisitively, taking a few steps closer towards you. 
You didn’t answer his question; you didn’t know how to. 
You didn’t know what to say to him. 
So you just remained silent. 
A sigh fell from his lips as he took a few more steps closer to you, all but destroying the distance you knew you needed to keep between each other. 
You went to take a step back, only for your back to collice the front door of your apartment. 
Almost instantly, Sylus took advantage of this opportunity; placing one hand by your waist and the other next to your hand, essentially trapping you between him and the door. 
“Conversations only work if both people are talking sweetie,”
Fuck that nickname. 
Fuck the way it fell from his lips. 
Fuck the way it made your heart skip a beat whenever he used it. 
Fuck him. 
Oh how you wanted to. 
Yo needed to keep your resolve, but that was slowly dwindling away with every moment that passed
“Why?” he asked, his quiet tone making you wonder if he’d really said anything at all, until he repeated himself, “Why have you been avoiding me?” 
There it was again; that flicker of hurt in his eyes that made you want to do nothing more than just reach out and kiss him. 
As you glanced up at him; the words that you’d been pushing to the back of your mind, were somehow suddenly on the tip of your tongue 
You tried so many times to tell yourself that it wasn’t true, to try and push the feelings that you had for Sylus away. 
But it was all a lie. 
You’d fallen for the leader of Onychinus….
You saw Sylus’ eyes narrow in frustration at your continued silence, as another exasperated sigh came from his lips. 
“I’ve been avoiding you,” you started, the sound of your sudden uneasy voice, catching his attention instantly as he waited intently for you to continue.
“Because I’m falling-”
Your admission was cut short as Sylus moved the hand that had been by your head and put it  over your mouth, silencing you. 
He leaned in close, so close that you could feel his breath tickling your skin. 
“Careful, sweetie,” he warned, slowly removing his hand from your mouth before placing it on your jaw, allowing his thumb to run across your bottom lip. 
This is exactly the type of situation you were trying to avoid. 
But you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away from his touch, instead you felt yourself instinctively melting into it. 
“You can’t take those words back once you say them,” he breathed, glancing down at your lips before meeting your eyes again. 
You didn’t want to take those words back. 
You wanted to say them. 
But then a thought raced through your mind; what happened once you did? 
Your internal battle was cut short when Sylus leaned in closer to you. 
What you didn’t know was that Sylus wanted to say those words as much as you did. 
You were staring at him; with those gorgeous y/e/c eyes, not knowing that these last few days had felt like a living hell. 
He needed you, craved you…and not being able to even so much as talk to you, was enough to drive him to the brink of madness. 
And that’s why he was here; risking everything, just to be with you. 
“Touching you was a bad idea,” he smirked, his lips inches away from yours.
“The worst,” you whispered in agreement, feeling how quick your heart was beating inside your chest. 
You knew what you were doing, knew that if you didn’t stop what had already begun to happen, that there would be no going back. 
“We should stop,” you breathed, feeling the last of your resolve completely disappearing. 
“That would be the logical thing to do,” he answered back; his eyes glancing between your lips and eyes again, silently asking for permission to close what little distance was left between you. 
“Fuck it,” you sighed, throwing your arms around the back of his neck before standing on the tips of your roes and crashing your lips onto his.
Tagging some people who might enjoy this:
@xacatalepsyx @book-dragon03 @hiqhkey @fangirlsfandomsss @albert-moriarty-fan @elegantangelenthusiast @worm-in-a-bug @darkphoenix2332 @deathkat657 @xenasolos @tasha-1994 @randomruff @mrs-masen-cullen @okaydokey @the-slytherin-poet @taronyuhunter @reverbsworld @serenitymaria @babygirl-panda19 @themagicafox
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eamour · 7 months ago
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the bridge of events.
something that most of us eventually do or have done is try to "fix" a certain situation in our physical worlds. we have encountered something very unlikable and therefore want to "un-manifest" it by thinking of a way to do so. however, that's not your job. moreover, that's not your GOAL.
definition.
the "bridge of events" refers to the lined up situations you will have to experience or go through in order to reach the physical fulfillment of your desire. it's an unpredictable process that describes how, when and where you will receive your desire in the outer world, basically the "bridge" that's between your current and your desired reality.
disregard the bridge.
can you decide the way in which your heart's desires are going to come to fruition? most definitely, you can. but you don't have to. see, you don't have to come up with a detailed solution on how an unfavourable situation is going to change to a favourable one. you don't have to mess around with logical possibilities and realistic outcomes. actually, you don't even need to be bothered by it. you do not need to worry at all.
concentrate on the destination.
you only need to be concerned about WHAT you want, nothing and no one else. you need to focus on what's at the end of the line and fixate your mind on it. nail your thoughts on the version of yourself who HAS and IS what you wish to have or be already, and don't care about the obstacles in your reality. don't "reason" your way into obtaining your desire. go to the end and make sure to stay in alignment with that version of yours. dwell on that version. be it, be the end, not the bridge. do not wait or wonder. enjoy your desire. experience it in the mind. within an infinite range of realities, your desired one already EXISTS!
renounce all circumstances.
if you witness something that brings you off track or just generally throws you off your path, what are you going to do?
exactly, you are going to dismiss it. it's entirely up to you if you use a different term to deal with the outer world — such as ignore, renounce, abandon, neglect, reject, refuse — as long as you do not accept it as true.
whatever happens physically is none of your concern, none of your interest and not worth your time, energy and attention. do not let it get in your way. do not let it affect or influence your new, freshly established assumptions. because the undesirable reality that's currently being displayed isn't the reality you want to begin with. the reality you are manifesting ISN'T the one you are experiencing right now! it has nothing to do with you. you are not obligated to accept or associate yourself with it. it holds no truthfulness, no rightness, no correctness and definitely no realness. and remember: it does not serve as a form of validation either!
do not interfere with the physical. do not intervene. do not take action. withhold from any acts that do not take place in the mind. leave the world as it is, as the old reality doesn't reflect your new one anymore.
consequently, feel the way you would feel and then let go of it. you want to distance yourself from the story that's no longer yours. you no longer identify with that version of self anymore.
"the display of the old story and its circumstances isn't an invitation to return back to it."
persist in imagination.
let it come to pass. let it unfold in your reality. simply persist in your newly chosen reality. select your desired reality every day and don't stop. accept it as true, as correct and as real. your imagination is your confirmation. your imaginative acts are your source of validation. so have faith and trust yourself.
the thing is, if you continuously persist in your desired outcome, you are going to walk the bridge one way or another. your desire is going to announce itself and you will acknowledge it — there is no way around it! it WILL show up, and you WILL notice it. you HAVE to. that's the law!
with love, ella.
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won4kiss · 2 months ago
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── ❝ ꒰ 𝐿𝑂𝑉𝐸 𝐿𝐸𝑇𝑇𝐸𝑅𝑆 .ᐟㅤ ៸៸﹙ 이찬영 ﹚ ᶻ𐰁
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GENRE ៸៸ ex bestfriends ៸ oneshot ﹔ SYPNOSIS┆in which you have been receiving anonymous love letters from a secret somebody .ᐟㅤ ꒰ WORD COUNT﹕1918 ꒱── 𝓦ARNING(S) not proofread ៸ stupid anton ៸ teeny tiny angst ៸ cursing ៸ . ݁ ✦ ݁ . ⊱ LIBRARY . . . ﹕LUNA 💭 — anton is my bf (╥﹏╥) ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖
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IT’S BEEN FIVE LONG MONTHS SINCE YOUR BEST FRIEND, LEE ANTON CUT YOU OFF.
you still vividly remember the day it happened, replaying it in your mind like an unskippable track.
one day, you were best friends, inseparable through years of shared laughs, secrets, and memories, and the next… he was gone.
no explanation, no warning— just a sudden wall of silence between you that felt as cold and impenetrable as ice.
it stung, the confusion settling in the pit of your stomach like a weight you couldn’t shake off.
the worst part? anton didn’t even look at you anymore—the boy who used to know all your thoughts before you’d even say them, the one you’d spent countless nights laughing with, was suddenly avoiding your existence.
five months of awkward hallway glances, of pretending like you didn’t notice the way he kept his distance, of telling yourself you were fine even though you weren’t.
you tried to move on. tried to focus on school, friends, anything that would take your mind off the gaping hole anton had left behind.
but it was harder than you’d imagined, especially because no one understood what had happened. ─── 𝘔𝘖𝘙𝘌 𝘜𝘕𝘋𝘌𝘙 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘊𝘜𝘛 .ᐟㅤ
not even your closest friends could figure out why anton had ghosted you without so much as a word.
today, though, was different. it was valentine’s day, and the entire school was basically buzzing with excitement.
everywhere you looked, there were students exchanging gifts, blushing as they handed out heart-shaped cards, or walking around with bouquets of flowers.
it was all so annoyingly and sickingly sweet.
and yet, you couldn’t help but be at the center of some of that excitement.
for the past week, you’d been finding love letters and flowers in your locker.
at first, you thought it was some kind of cruel prank from your classmates, but the letters were so thoughtful, so genuine, that they couldn’t be anything but real.
each note was more romantic than the last, speaking about your smile, the way you laughed, how you made everything brighter just by being yourself.
despite the anonymity of it all, the letters made your heart race every time you opened your locker.
the idea that someone had been watching you, admiring you from afar, stirred a confusing mixture of nervousness and anticipation inside you.
you found yourself wondering who it could be, secretly hoping it was someone you liked, someone who could make the fluttering in your chest a reality.
your friends were absolutely living for it, constantly guessing who your secret admirer could be.
“maybe it’s jisung,” one of your friends had suggested. “he’s been looking at you a lot in class lately.”
“or what about yeonjun?” another friend chimed in. “he’s always finding excuses to talk to you.”
you had no idea who it was, but their excitement was contagious, part of you was curious too, and today, the mystery had deepened.
when you reached your locker that morning, there was a note waiting for you again, but this time it was different.
instead of a long confession of admiration, it was short and to the point.
💌﹕meet me on the rooftop after school today, i want to finally tell you everything.
your heart skipped a beat, this was it—whoever had been sending the letters wanted to finally reveal themselves.
you stared at the note, reading it over again to make sure you weren’t imagining things.
a surge of nerves bubbled up inside you—what if it wasn’t someone you were expecting? what if this turned out to be awkward or disappointing?
but even as doubt crept in, you couldn’t deny the curiosity burning inside you.
during lunch, you told your friends about the note, showing them the message.
“i think i’m going to go,” you said, feeling more anxious by the minute.
your friends erupted into excited squeals, exchanging glances.
“oh my god, you have to! this is it, the big reveal!” one of them exclaimed, nudging you with a teasing grin.
amid the laughter and conversation, you noticed something out of the corner of your eye.
anton was sitting a few tables away, and though he was trying to look like he wasn’t paying attention, you could see the way his eyes flickered in your direction every few seconds, his expression tight.
for a moment, you wondered what he was thinking.
why did he care? but you quickly brushed it off—anton had no right to be part of this anymore, not after abandoning you without so much as a word of explanation.
when the last bell rang, you gathered your things and made your way towards the rooftop, your heart pounding in your chest.
every step felt heavy with the weight of anticipation, you didn’t know what you were walking into, but part of you was ready—ready for something new, something exciting.
just as you rounded the corner to the stairwell, a firm but gentle hand grabbed your wrist, pulling you back into a secluded hallway.
your eyes widened in surprise, your heart skipping a beat as you turned to see who had stopped you.
anton.
for the first time in five months, he was standing in front of you, his grip on your wrist gentle— his expression was tense, his eyes scanning your face with an intensity that made your pulse quicken.
“anton?” you whispered, still reeling from the shock. “what are you doing?”
“don’t go to the rooftop,” he said, his voice low and serious.
there was a strange urgency in his tone, as if he were on the verge of saying something incredibly important.
you frowned, confused and frustrated. “what? why not?”
he pulled you closer, his eyes dark and unreadable. “just… trust me. you shouldn’t go.”
you stared at him, your heart pounding even harder now, but for entirely different reasons.
“why do you care?” you demanded, yanking your wrist free from his grip.
“you haven’t spoken to me in months, anton. you haven’t cared about anything i’ve done for five months, and now you’re telling me not to go? who exactly do you think you are?”
he flinched at the bitterness in your voice, but his expression didn’t waver.
“it’s not about that—“
“then what is it about?” you crossed your arms, your frustration boiling over.
“why are you suddenly acting like this? what’s going on?”
anton’s jaw tightened, and for a moment, you thought he might not answer—his silence only frustrated you more.
why was he keeping secrets again? just like when he had cut you off without an explanation.
“please, just tell me,” you said softly, your voice tinged with a hint of hurt. “i don’t understand why you care now.”
finally, after what felt like an eternity, anton let out a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair, his eyes filled with a mix of frustration and something you couldn’t place.
“because,” he started, his voice low and tense, “the person who left that note isn’t who you think it is.”
you blinked, confusion washing over you.
“what do you mean? it’s not the person who’s been sending me the love letters?”
anton shook his head, his expression darkening. “no. someone else is pretending to be me.”
your heart dropped. “pretending to be you? what are you talking about?”
he clenched his fists at his sides, the tension radiating off him in waves.
“i’ve been leaving the love letters. i was the one who wrote all of them. but the note today? the one telling you to meet them on the rooftop? that wasn’t from me. i overheard some guys talking in class. some asshole—he was trying to take credit for my letters..”
you felt like the ground had just shifted beneath you—anton had been the one leaving the love letters? and now someone else was using that to trick you?
“why would they do that?” you asked, your voice small as the realization of what was happening began to sink in.
“i don’t know,” anton said, his voice full of frustration.
“but i couldn’t let you go up there. i didn’t want them to trick you or take credits of the letters i wrote for you... i know how much the letters meant to you.”
your heart softened slightly at his words, but there was still a burning question in the back of your mind.
“but why didn’t you just tell me it was you from the beginning? why all the secrecy, anton? why did you even cut me off in the first place?”
his face tensed at the question, and for a moment, you thought he might avoid answering again.
but then he sighed, his shoulders sagging as if the weight of everything he’d been holding back was finally catching up to him.
“because being around you hurt,” he admitted, his voice soft and raw.
“i was in love with you, and i didn’t know how to deal with it. every time we hung out, it felt like a reminder that i wasn’t good enough, that i’d never have a chance with you. so i cut you off because i thought it would help me move on, but it didn’t. it just made everything worse.”
you stared at him, your heart twisting at the vulnerability in his voice—all this time, the reason he’d disappeared from your life wasn’t because he hated you, but because he cared too much.
you hadn’t seen it before, but now, standing here in this cramped hallway with anton looking at you like he was afraid you might vanish, it all clicked into place.
“i can’t believe you kept this from me for so long,” you whispered, your voice soft but laced with a hint of teasing. “you’re such an idiot.”
before he could respond, you reached up and flicked his forehead lightly, a small smirk tugging at your lips.
“ow!” anton winced, rubbing his forehead. “what was that for?”
“for being an idiot,” you said, shaking your head. “you could’ve just told me.”
he opened his mouth to protest, but you silenced him with a kiss.
it was soft, gentle, and filled with all the words you hadn’t been able to say before.
when you finally pulled away, anton was staring at you, wide-eyed and speechless.
“you…like me?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, as if he couldn’t believe what had just happened.
you rolled your eyes, a smile playing on your lips. “no shit anton—obviously i do.”
for a moment, anton just stood there, looking at you with a mix of disbelief and a stupid grin.
then— a wide smile spread across his face, and without warning, he pulled you into another kiss, this one deeper and more certain.
when you finally broke apart, both of you were breathless, but the awkward tension that had once lingered between you was gone.
“so,” you said with a grin, “are you going to keep writing me love letters, or was that just a one-time thing?”
anton chuckled, his eyes sparkling with affection.
“i’ll keep writing them for you, every single day if that’s what you want.”
you laughed, leaning into his chest as you both stood there, the world outside of the janitor’s closet fading away.
everything had changed, but somehow, it felt like it had all fallen perfectly into place.
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© won4kiss 2024
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rebelspykatie · 3 months ago
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Part 3
Part 1 - Part 2
Eddie’s pretty sure he’s never thought about kissing another guy. He rarely thinks about kissing anybody. For the longest time, he was convinced that no one would ever want to kiss him, so he never saw the point in dwelling on it. 
But maybe that was unusual. He might have mistaken his apathy for normalcy when really he’s the freak. The average person probably thinks about kissing an awful lot. He’s listened to Jeff talk about asking out Lacy from his calculus class and Gareth go on and on about how unfair it is that he can’t make out with his boyfriend behind the bleachers to know that the average high schooler is pretty horny. 
Yet, Eddie’s childhood wasn’t littered with school yard crushes. There aren’t fond memories of girls that he imagined sneaking off with during lunch period or recess. There’s just…nothing. A part of that was his rocky childhood and jumping from his parents, to just his dad, to Wayne. But a lot of it was pure disinterest in the hottest girl in their grade growing breasts before all the other girls, or how tenth grade Mandy would make out with anyone with the right incentive. 
He’s never thought about it long enough for anything to stick. He figured, one day, when he was old enough to escape Hawkins and all the small minded bigots who think he’s a devil worshiper, that he would find a girl that appreciated his specific eccentricities. That he’d settle down somewhere quiet, a little closer to the city than Hawkins, and find some blue collar job and start a family. That’s just what everyone does, right?
He knows that’s not true, though. That everyone doesn’t follow that path. He knows people like Gareth and Robin, and apparently Steve, don’t get to just walk into happily ever after. There’s no white picket fence in their future, and Eddie’s never had to confront that reality so head on before. He knows what it’s like to be different. To have a target on your back. But, it’s nothing like the ostracization of being gay. 
Thinking about kissing Steve scares him. When he closes his eyes, it’s a looping replay of that day. Steve’s soft lips on his unmoving ones. Big hands cradling his face. He can perfectly recall the terror and confusion. It’s seeped into his bones now, because he’s realized something about himself and he doesn’t know what to do with the information. 
He can do nothing. He can move forward and pretend that he doesn’t wake up panting, picturing Steve on top of him pressing him into the mattress with their faces attached. He doesn’t ever have to acknowledge that for the first time in twenty years of living, he’s having honest to god wet dreams that involve another person. And that person he’s envisioning is a guy. Everything can just be swept under the rug.
But he’s pretty sure it scares him more to know that he can’t. It’s eating away at him. Eddie feels trapped in his own skin. The truth is clawing its way to the surface, wanting to break free, even if Eddie’s shutting down as it tries to spill out. He knows it’s inevitable, that overflow. The dam breaking. 
It takes an intervention to set everything in motion. Wayne’s been fussing over him for weeks. He’s been doing that worried parent thing that he thinks Eddie doesn’t know about, where he stands outside Eddie’s closed bedroom door like he wants to knock and say something, but doesn’t. He’s studying Eddie over their morning cereal like the little floating letters are going to spell out why Eddie’s been holed up in his room almost mute. 
But the final straw is when Wayne comes home from work to Eddie painting figurines on the stairs of their new trailer while pretending that he’s not watching Steve help Max fold laundry next door. There’s this polite distance between them and Eddie that didn’t exist before, this wide expanse where before Eddie would’ve been sitting on the picnic table in front of Max’s trailer teasing both of them, or maybe helping if it was a low pain day. 
Instead, he’s sat like a toddler in timeout, taking furtive peaks over the little paint brushes and praying that Max’s sharp intuition about situations like this is dulled by her literal lack of being able to see Eddie from over there. Steve can see him, though, and Eddie’s feigning that it doesn’t bother him. What a grave he’s dug for himself here. 
“Boy, don’t you think this has gone on long enough?” Wayne sighs as he climbs out of his truck, this world-weary, too knowledgeable sigh that makes Eddie squirm. 
“I don’t know what you mean, old man.” Better to just play ignorant. Even though Eddie’s pretty sure he can’t escape Wayne’s withering gaze. He hasn’t in over ten years, so he likely won’t be starting now. 
Wayne just stares at him. A raised eyebrow and crossed arms that tell Eddie he means business. He’s not getting out of this. 
Eddie’s jaw shifts and he looks down at the figure in his hands. “I don’t really know what to do, Wayne.” 
“Move over,” Wayne says, settling down beside Eddie until they’re shoulder to shoulder, barely waiting for the little shuffle Eddie does to make room. He doesn’t say anything for a moment. Just stares across the yard in the same direction Eddie was moments before, a contemplative look on his face. “This about that boy?”
Eddie follows his gaze over to Steve. His silence goes on a little too long before he softly says, “yeah.” 
Wayne hums, still looking at Steve. “You know, you always were a late bloomer.”
That grabs Eddie’s attention. He turns towards Wayne, who takes that as his cue to continue, and sets down the figure behind them. 
“Nothing ever happened when I thought it would when you were a boy. Lizzy said you took forever to walk and talk. I kept waiting for you to come to me about the birds and the bees, but you didn’t. Not sure if that was a good thing to let go, but I knew you weren’t getting yourself into trouble. Probably wasn’t much I could offer you that public school wasn’t already teaching you.” 
Eddie wonders briefly if he should’ve hidden the condoms in his room better, but maybe that’s what gave Wayne the confidence to leave Eddie to his business. Even if they were collecting dust before they became dust that day the trailer cracked open.
“You never brought anyone around.” He nods in the direction of Steve. “Not until him.” 
The conversation with Steve is distantly replaying in his head. How he went over their every interaction with Robin and they came to this same conclusion. Maybe Eddie really is an idiot. 
“It wasn’t intentional,” Eddie adds. “I didn’t know what I was doing.” 
“I don’t think anyone knows what they’re doing, son. That’s part of life.” He pats Eddie on the back. “It’s ‘specially a part of being in love.” 
Eddie’s not sure he’s willing to start that train of thought, yet. He’s grateful for the quiet, unspoken acceptance, but he’s not ready to think about labeling it something as profound as love. He flounders for a second before saying, “I think I’ve missed my chance there,” as he looks back over at Steve. 
“Are you dead and I don’t know it?” He squeezes Eddie’s shoulder. “Seem pretty real to me.” He whacks Eddie’s head gently. “Ain’t nothing missed if you’re still alive to make things right.” 
“Hey!” Eddie laughs, mock offended at the attack, rubbing the back of his head and leaning away from Wayne. “Isn’t it socially unacceptable to joke about someone that was legally dead for almost three minutes?”
“I think I get leeway as the one that kept you alive for ten years by myself.” Wayne wrangles him into a side hug, pulling him to his chest with an arm around his neck. “Just cause things are broken, doesn’t mean you can’t fix ‘em, son.”
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strawberrystepmom · 1 year ago
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i'd crawl home to her
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pairing: hades!geto suguru x persephone f!reader
word count: 10.8k
about: the god of the underworld brings his most valued prize home at the risk of tearing the realm itself apart.
contents: cw dark content - kidnapping, possessive leaning on yandere behavior, stockholm syndrome to a degree, lore accordant misogyny (ugh i know). this is a retelling of the hades and persephone myth, it is not exact to the prior iterations - creative liberties, etc. reader is quite naive but has her own personality and genuinely cares for suguru. piv sex, reader is referred to with feminine pet names, virginity loss. zeus gojo, hecate shoko. weird happy ending bc ofc this is something EYE wrote.
notes: i was personally asked to repost this and figured finishing the story and posting it full length would be the best way. this is the full and final version of what was formerly known as crawling. thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy it.
floral divider is thanks to @/saradika
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Earth’s sun rises with you, Suguru concludes on his fourteenth morning outside his bleak domicile.
Perched high above the meadow you tend every morning, the sun rising higher in the sky with every step you take across soft green grass, he watches. The backlight drenches you until you’re a mere silhouette, hard even for his superhuman vision to make out. 
He doesn’t need the sunlight to do anything but glow across every curve and dip of you - his mind can easily paint the rest of the picture.
You live behind his eyes every time he closes them.
He luxuriates in the feeling of shutting them to imagine you while he’s in this form, something inhuman that may belong among your trees and your blossoms. Something unlike who he really is. 
Opening his eyes as he hears branches creak beneath where he rests, he readies himself to swoop into the landing you are approaching. 
Sighing with each step, the gentle sweep of the hem of your dress across your feet tethers you back to your reality. The grass tickles the bottoms of your bare feet and you squint as you peer into the distance ahead, unable to make out more than vague shapes of flora. 
A golden cage with crawling vines along the bars is still a cage, one to which your mother holds the only key. You are reminded of this impenetrable truth with every muffled step that grows quicker as you notice something in your clearing. 
A bird, larger than any you’ve ever seen, rests atop the grass with its wing twisted at an unnatural angle. The sight makes you gasp and you begin to sprint, filled with concern. The dryads haven’t yet arrived to tend the meadow with you - you’re alone. 
You’re unprotected. 
You’re his.
A pathetic caw leaves the large bird’s beak as you approach. The sound is strangled and makes your heart squeeze, mind immediately reeling imagining the suffering this animal must be going through. 
Despite being kept under lock and key, this meadow is your domain and nothing will hurt as long as you are here. You vowed long ago to make this so. 
You sink to your knees beside the bird. Suguru sees the tips of your fingers before he sees anything else, the beady eyes of the body he’s inhabiting keeping him from taking in too much of you at once. 
“You poor thing,” you speak without a trace of irony or false sympathy. Your voice is more beautiful than any melody he has overheard the dryads cast into the sky and relief washes over him as the sound. “What’s happened to you?”
He caws again, the sound stronger this time and you smile. Perhaps he’s feeling better, you ponder as his shift away from you and shut. His soul shutters with anticipation as you lean over him. 
This bird is unlike any wildlife you’ve ever tended to in your lands, large and inky in color. You are more accustomed to robins or the occasional duck, things as gentle as the life you lead. Ducks don’t even have claws, Suguru thinks as you stroke a pattern across his beak with your index finger, suddenly too aware of his own talons in this form. 
Those same talons twitch and you frown, moving from his beak to gently petting his head. 
“Are you in any pain?”
The concern you hold for Suguru makes him feel a bit hazy, your mind too precious and concerned with helping him to notice the rapidly browning grass surrounding the two of you. 
He eventually kills everything he touches, smothering the light out of every last brightened corner in his life. It makes him feel guilty knowing you’ll just be one more light to extinguish but he can’t allow this to continue.
This want he has for you - the need growing into a pit as endless as the one he alone casts souls into. 
You are his. 
A soft gasp leaves you as the once injured wing of the bird you sit next to appears to be healed untouched. No longer bent and dangling, the strength returning as the bird lifts his head. Fear paralyzes you when you recognize something distinctly human in the darkened eyes that glance up in your direction. 
This is no bird of your lands.
Adrenaline rushes but you stay, watching the bird twitch as he begins to transform into something inexplicable before your eyes. Feathers give way to hair, a beak to a face. You draw your fingers back as wings become hands but they’re captured quickly between cool fingers much larger than yours. 
Fear blankets your mind and you gape at Suguru as he transforms into a man - nude, bare to the sunlight. You can make out every defined plane muscle and scar, the sight as terrifying as it is alluring. You know all too well who has trapped you between his talons. 
“Why are you here?”
Despite the terror in your widened eyes, desire flickers within them. Suguru notices you do not flinch or stray as he reaches out and caresses your jaw with his fingertips in the same pattern you were gently etching across his beak. 
“For you.”
Almost as if you are no longer in control of your own body, you melt into his touch and your eyes grow heavy. His large palm cups your cheek and he gently pinches the soft round between his index finger and thumb.
He wishes you’d come willingly but he can’t be certain and will not leave room for error. 
Your eyes flutter shut gently, your body slackening as the magic he used to coerce you to sleep takes hold. Bundling you against his bare chest, a victorious smile crosses his handsome features.
You are his, wrapped in his embrace, and he holds you as delicately as a fragile newborn as the ground shakes beneath the two of you.
“Let’s return home,” he mutters down at you knowing there will be no response. Your breathing is steady, little puffs of air leaving your barely open lips. He presses his palm against your cheek, your throat, your chest. 
He resists the urge to map you out knowing he’ll have plenty of time to do so as soon as the two of you have settled in the underworld. 
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The God above answered when your mother cried out to the heavens and Earth herself the first evening you did not return to your mother. 
Your routine has been the same for many of your living years - trudging back to your family estate with muddy feet and eyes you have to force open to stay awake through the evening meal you used to share with her. Days spent beneath the sun turning to evenings withering beneath another light altogether.
Satoru set his cerulean gaze on the lands below, the verdant rolling hills of Demeter's domain, and he knew without a second thought the encroacher who had been there. Brown grass in the shape of footprints led straight to your clearing - where he knew Suguru trapped you.
His need had become insatiable, a fear they’d all kept to themselves for far too long.
Lounging across an ornate chaise in the social room of Demeter’s estate, Satoru eyes her home carefully. Everything here is so polished, so prim. It’s a wonder she has ever let you get your hands dirty at all, her little blossom ripe to be plucked straight from her stem. 
“Go to him,” Demeter begs the god with teary eyes, his snowy hair framing his unnervingly handsome face. “Please make him return her to me.”
Satoru chuckles and lifts a chalice to his lips, the two legged land nymphs and servants that also serve the woman across from him tittering anxiously. They’re lucky to be witnessing the handsome god in front of them, they’ve all remarked several times over. He sips and lets the taste of the richest wine this world has to offer drench his taste buds before smacking his lips appreciatively. 
A lazy grin crosses his features which infuriates your mother. 
“You know I can’t do that, Demeter,” he holds the chalice out to the waiting hands of a servant who graciously accepts with a measured smile. “I’m as unwelcome in his domain as he is in mine.”
Suguru simultaneously watches the conversation through a looking glass hanging on the wall of his quarters and you as you sleep, an enchanted rest he created with a spell he has not yet decided when to break. 
This transition will be easier for you if you rest, he decided when he concocted the plan to bring you here in the first place. He rips his gaze away from the glass before him and wistfully gazes at your little form. Your soft breaths, your little hums and yawns. The way you shift against him when he joins you at your side, looking for warmth he cannot give.
He balls his fists and returns to his watching.
“He kidnapped my daughter!” Your mother shouts, back of her hand pressed to her forehead as an unimpressed Satoru raises his brow unenthusiastically. “Do you have proof?”
Suguru can’t help but smirk, shaking his head at his old friend. He wishes things could’ve been different between them but Satoru belonged amongst the clouds, a god and friend to all. He finds himself exactly where he belongs - in the darkness below, the unknown depths at which mortal life ends and everything else begins.
His attention shifts as you do in his bed, little mutters spilling from your lips in a rapid enough pace he grows concerned and stands over the edge. His hair is so long it nearly graces the edge of the bundled blankets below him and he listens to your soft voice intently, as if nothing else matters. As if he weren’t just eavesdropping a mother’s desperate plea for the safe return of her child.
“Where am I?”
Suguru believes he can make out the words spilling from your lips and your eyes flutter open. He sinks to his knees beside you, a large hand cupping your cheek. He cannot tell if you are unafraid or just too unaware to shrink at his touch. I’ll take my chances, he thinks as he grabs your other hand with his free one.
“You’re home and safe, my treasure.”
Looking around the dimly lit room, your brow furrows and he softens at the sight. You delight him, in your soft and beautiful glory, and he wants you so badly it’s going to consume him. It already has.
Nodding at his words, your eyes begin to focus and you feel hands upon you. You aren’t sure how long you’ve been sleeping, it could be hours or months, but you feel rested and whole. Your fingers do not hurt nor are they blistered, your feet are warm and dry.
“Are you…him?” 
You ask and Suguru leans further onto the bed until his chest is pressed against the blankets, his face resting against the bundle of them directly over your stomach and chest. He shakes his head gently, still cupping your face. He uses his hold to point your chin downward so that your eyes meet his. 
“Who?”
A gentle sigh escapes you and you lean into his touch, head heavy with fatigue. You are still not completely aware of your surroundings but you can think back to the times as a child your mother warned you of a man who offered nothing but darkness.
“You are the light of this world, my child.” She would warn you as you sat upon her lap and let her brush and manipulate her hair into the style she liked best. “Don’t ever let darkness consume you. Do not let him reach you.”
You giggle softly and your sleepy gaze dances over the handsome face of the man next to you. Angular and sharp, yet something distinctly and indescribably boyish lives inside of his eyes. Perhaps it's an internal softness, a fondness for you, turning outward.
“The God of the Underworld,” you whisper and he feels your palm pressed against his where he holds your other hand. “You’re Suguru, aren’t you?”
For a moment, he wonders how far a lie could take him. He could keep you here in his quarters forever, never revealing himself as anything more than a concerned traveler that found you passed out in the meadow. He could lie. He could transform himself again just to eliminate all risk of you leaving.
He could chain you to the bed. He could keep you here, never to let the sun’s rays grace your skin again. He could pluck those beautiful butterfly wings straight from your soul and cage you.
Instead he shakes his head and offers a small smile.
“You’re right, it’s me.”
You laugh again, still groggy and he wonders silently what you find so funny until he hears the raised voice of your mother from the screen behind him once more.
“How could you even insinuate my daughter would leave with a beast like that?” She shouts, snotty sniffles punctuating her words. “A man so vile you cast him out yourself, Satoru, and yet you allow the most delicate thing on this planet to be sullied by his hand.”
Suguru shakes his head and turns his attention back to you, watching as you glance across the room to make sense of your surroundings. How are you so trusting?
“It’s a little dark here.”
He nods, eyeing the sconces on the walls for a moment before saying a name you can’t quite make out in your state. A servant enters the room and he asks that they turn a small knob on each of the fixtures and they do so with a nod, exiting as quickly as they entered the room. The light is still far dimmer than the sunlight you are used to but it helps you further examine the features of the man next to you.
“Thank you,” you whisper as your eyes flutter shut again, the magic taking its hold over you as Suguru grasps your hand tightly between his. He needs to break the spell completely but he will let you rest, he reasons as you gently fall back into a deep sleep. It pains him to break contact with you, letting go of your hand but keeping your cheek cupped in his palm until he feels satisfied. 
Your mother continues to shout behind him. His interest is only piqued when Satoru speaks, turning his head to glance over his shoulder.
“I will see if I can speak with him, Demeter. You rest until then. Looks like you need it.”
Suguru freezes in place, wondering exactly what his old friend has planned. Perhaps it’s a deterrent from further outbursts from the goddess screeching at him. Reluctantly, he lets you go and rises to his feet and rushes toward the door where one of his most trusted servants is posted outside.
Pulling the door open, he peaks around the corner and the woman in waiting gazes at him expectantly. 
“Yes, my lord?”
Suguru offers a measured glance, dark hair falling over his shoulder as he leans. 
“Please prepare a raven, I have a letter to send.”
Things have been tense since your arrival and Demeter's angry cry to the other gods for your return. Even the lowest of his servants feels strange seeing a sunbeam trailing through the corridors, each of them surprised at how easily you seem to have taken to the human embodiment of darkness itself, although they’d never speak the thought aloud. It’s as if you’re hiding your fear of him, no alarm despite the fact he eyes you hungrily every time your back is turned. 
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“My lord?”
The unlucky servant currently standing in his proximity knew the look as soon as he saw it, glancing at the back of your head as if he could look directly through your skull and into your thoughts. The only wish of the God of the Underworld would be to find himself in your thoughts as you are in his.
Despite how easily he loses himself in observing you, Suguru’s brows raise as he shifts his attention from where you gather your skirt in your hands, carefully appraising his estate to the servant approaching him gingerly. Their posture is slumped with anxiety, shoulders rounded forward.  
“You have a visitor.”
Raised brows furrow, the skin between pinching. Folding his arms over his chest, the god lets a sigh he’s unable to stifle escape and turns his back to you reluctantly. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you, it’s just that he would rather not leave any of this up to chance. He risked so much bringing you here - why would he leave anything up to chance when fate has deemed it so that you are to be together?
Glancing over his shoulder to where you stand, still curiously staring at the vines that crawl along the columns that make up the structure of the property. The sidelong glance shows him that you are still within an arm's reach and he turns his attention toward the servant. 
“Who is it?”
The servant shakes their head and the pinched skin between his eyebrows further puckers as a frown crawls across his features. The words don’t have his usual bite, despite the frustration on his face, and the servant feels as though they can speak until they see you turn toward Geto’s back from over his shoulder. 
“Excuse me, Lord Geto?” 
Suguru’s attention is pulled away immediately when he hears your voice from a few feet away, your hands grazing the petals of flowers growing despite this unnatural habitat. The ground is dark and cold, no light to warm the soil, yet yellow daffodils spring through the near black dirt. 
“What is it, my treasure?”
In an instant he is by your side, gazing down at the yellow petals that dot the otherwise dark ground. The servants hadn’t mentioned to him that flowers were beginning to bloom again, instead he noticed it now, watching you bend at the waist to grasp delicate yellow petals between your thumb and index finger. 
“Have these always grown here?” Nodding his head at your question, his long hair fans against his chest and you gaze up at him through your lashes curiously. “Yes but it has been a long time since they’ve bloomed.”
Despite knowing he took you against your will, it’s difficult for you to find contempt for the man given how kindly he has treated you. He has given you a space to call your own and expects only your companionship in return. No tilling fields, no guarding the dryads, simply being allowed to exist for the first time in your life without paying a toll to do so.
This is a stark contrast to the life you were plucked from - working sunrise to sunset to appease your unappeasable mother. 
If you miss your home, you haven’t told him so yet. The thought has crossed his mind that you are only playing to his sensibilities, trying to outsmart an old god with your clever youthful ways, but he sees the genuine warmth in your smile when it appears. Aimed at servants, even the damned begging for his forgiveness, your compassionate nature shines through. 
Despite the fact this is not a place meant for one as beautiful as you, he only hopes there will come a time when you his home as a place the two of you are meant to share. The way you eye the daffodils only allows hope to grow inside of him, dark eyes drinking in the sight of you as you pluck the yellow flower from its stem and hold it in his direction with an uncertain smile.
“You won’t be able to keep her here for much longer, Suguru.”
Another voice draws his attention from you and he clenches his jaw, molars grinding together so roughly the joints begin to ache. Shoko, he thinks. Fuck. You stand and gasp, recognizing the woman yourself although you cannot begin to fathom what this visit could mean for you. 
“Good to see you, old friend.” The Goddess of Magic pats his shoulder as she breezes past him to your side, chocolate colored hair parted to expose her face.
You can recall seeing it numerous times throughout your childhood, attending feasts at your mothers’ home on more than one occasion. She’s as beautiful as she is powerful and you can hardly hide your confusion wondering why she would be here, extending a hand in your direction. 
Suguru looms from over your other shoulder, eyes practically blazing as he looks toward the scene unfolding in front of him. She’d come to take you and he simply would not allow it, stepping closer until he stands directly behind you and braces a hand on your shoulder. 
“What business do you have here, Shoko?”
She laughs at his informality and shakes her head, grasping your hand for a moment before dropping it. Looking between them, you swallow thickly and she sighs watching your eyes immediately look upward at Suguru, looking for answers. 
He looks back down at you in the way one may view a treasured pet. She realizes in that moment, as Satoru had warned her, his obsession had won and disrupted the careful balance of the heavens.
“My business is currently gazing up at you as if she’s afraid to look away, my lord.” 
The words strike you between the ribs and you quickly avert your gaze, fixing it on the single flower in your hand. Anger practically pours off of Suguru as he looks over his shoulder at the servant still waiting and nods them over to where the three of you stand. 
“Please return her to her quarters,” he commands and you scoff in protest. Eyes wide, you feel him gently push you in the direction of the servant. Without thinking, you press your heels into the ground you stand on and turn to face him.
“I believe I should be present to find out my own fate.”
The servant gasps bearing witness to your first act of defiance since your arrival. You wait for a flash of anger to cross the Lord of the Underworld’s face but it never comes, a fond smile the sight you see instead. 
“Your fate has already been decided.” The finality in his tone makes you feel captured, mirroring the emotions that swirled through your mind on the day he took you. “You needn’t worry about all of this.”
Lifting his hand from your shoulder, he pets your hair gently before giving you another gentle push in the direction of the waiting servant. This time, you are too stunned to argue and you’re whisked away in an instant. Left only to glance over your shoulder at him, you feel hot tears spill out of the corners of your eyes but you find it difficult to explain why.
Geto’s gaze follows you until you are back inside of the estate and out of his view completely, the goddess staring at him expectantly in a means to end his lovesick antics. It’s beneath him to act like this, as if he’s a parched man and you are a cool stream. 
“Are you aware that her mother is prepared to tip the realms upside down if it means she’ll be returned?”
Shoko doesn’t bother to hide the judgment dripping from every word and he rolls his eyes in response, arms folded over his chest. It’s always a treat to see her longtime friend act as if he were young again, petulantly sulking because his favorite toy needs to be put back in her box. 
“Let her return, Suguru.”
He says nothing, his friend turning to him with an unimpressed glance.
“No young goddess is worth war. I assumed you would’ve figured that out by now.”
He decided long ago that you are worth ripping this realm apart for.
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Weeks have passed since the last time you graced Suguru with your presence.
Shoko's visit created unexpected tension between the two of you and he wonders what he could have done to upset you enough that you have completely frozen him out while he takes long strides through the courtyard, eyes falling to the ground below him to see once blooming yellow flowers droop sadly.
They need you just as badly as he does.
"Please call for her again," he mutters to the servant that walks with their head pointed downward to his left. "Explain that is an order and no longer an invitation."
Suguru's discerning gaze doesn't leave the ground but he hears the footfalls that tell him his orders will be fulfilled without question, as expected.
Upon bringing you here, he decided he'd use the gentle approach with you. No reprimand, no demands, just gentle redirection and letting you come out of your shell at your own pace. Those first few weeks were blissful, you'd wait outside his chamber door until he arose to walk along the grounds with you. You refused to touch him, uncertain of where boundaries lie, but you remained curious enough that occasionally your arm would brush against his.
He'd have to claim other duties needed attending to get away from the near suffocating rush of blood from his head to his cock, length stiff and uncomfortable beneath his robes.
Part of him misses that feeling, the rush and flutter of what he has justified in his own mind as love. It certainly must be, he reasons, given the way he has miserably through his own kingdom for weeks while you've refused meals and visitors. Even damning has become uninteresting without the promise of the sun's radiant light across his face once the dirty work is done. You are his sun, his world, his everything.
Why don't you feel the same about him?
A sickening feeling settles in his gut as he wonders if you are communicating with your mother behind his back. Perhaps Shoko's visit brought you the means to do so, a plan to run and hide and stay away. His fist clenches at the thought and he clears his throat, an uncomfortable thickness coating his tongue. That is a possibility he will not, cannot, allow.
Footfalls draw his attention upward and he notices you walking alongside the servant he sent to fetch you. The look on your face is unreadable, you think, but he plucks you out like a ripe little pomegranate with little effort.
You're throwing a fit as a young goddess does. You're old enough to know better, an adult, but young enough not to care and looking the Lord of the Underworld in his face with a pout makes a feline smile spread across his face.
He's so handsome you almost stop in your tracks but you choose to avert your gaze instead, pretending dying vegetation has captured your attention for the first time in days. Suguru chuckles at your insolence, the dangerous man as unintimidated as one can be.
"She rises," he says flatly and he can almost see your shoulders deflate as you continue to refuse to meet his eyes. "Come, come. Let's discuss what's bothering you."
The servant leads you to his side before being dismissed with a wag of his head and you glance at him out of the corner of your eye.
He's everything you remembered seeing a few weeks ago but you cannot shake the way that his dismissal on the day of your goddess visitor upset you. You believed he saw you as more than a pawn, a person rather than a vague outline for his own desires, but you began to question his intentions that day and have ever since.
"Are you happy here?"
The question makes you turn your face toward him, pout falling. Never in your life have you been asked to consider your own happiness.
In your realm, your happiness is directly tied to how happy you make your mother. How hard you work, how harmonious your meadows are, how productive you can be. You struggle to recall the last time anyone besides the dryad, who you technically had and have dominion over, bothered to ask you about yourself.
The act leaves you speechless, his face pointed downward in your direction. You dare to glance up at him and the elegant slope of his nose, his dark eyes narrowed but radiating a warmth you never imagined a man enshrouded in such darkness down to the cape of hair caressing his shoulders would be capable of.
Moving closer to him, you let your arm brush against the sleeve of his robe and he attempts to keep his face stoic despite the sheer gift of your touch. He must keep his cards close to his chest in case you've found a way out - he cannot afford to spare any vulnerability.
"I think that I could be, my lord."
You're choosing your words carefully and he knows it. He watches as you swallow and your face twists, bottom lip quivering. Despite his better judgement he reaches out for you, cupping your soft cheeks between his cool hands. You don't attempt to dodge him or stray, meeting his eyes.
"If I wanted to be forced to meet demands, though, I would have already returned home."
He knows all too well the demands of which you speak, his years spent watching you from below giving him knowledge of the fact you've never been happy locked away while your mother holds the key to your freedom.
"I understand," he starts, dropping his grip on your face and bringing his hands to his sides. It's not that he does not wish to give you the freedom you desire, it's that he cannot do so and please his own desires as well. "Do you wish to return home?"
He asks and you shake your head quickly, firm in your decision to remain here despite things feeling uneasy with Suguru. Locking yourself in your room and spending all of your time alone is better than what awaits you above, the wrath of your mother promising you'll be working in the fields for the rest of your life.
"Lady Shoko promised me safe passage if I wanted to return but I would prefer to stay here if you will allow it."
That smile crosses his face once again and you can't help but mirror it, cheeks heating knowing it's meant for you. In the time the two of you have spent together you can't seem to recall a single time you've seen him smile, much less like that, at anyone else and it sends a swarm of butterflies drifting through your stomach and chest.
"Of course, my treasure," he reaches up to cup your face once again and you gingerly lean into the kind touch, cheek rubbing against the heel of his palm. "As I've told you, this is your home."
Your home. Not his domain, not a place he's graciously allowing you to take residence until he decides his plans for you.
Nodding between his hands, you offer a smile of your own that fades as his face suddenly turns serious.
"This is your home but all homes have rules," he reminds and you nod, eyes wide. His rules cannot be any more confining than the ones you previously dwelled under.
"You are not to contact Lady Shoko without informing me first, understood?"
Uncertainty dances across your face and he tightens his grip on your cheeks for a moment, dipping his head so that your noses nearly touch.
"It's for your safety only," he comforts, spurred on by the way your posture has tensed as you consider what he's saying. "We cannot trust she won't inform your mother and she won't drag you back with her by your hair."
Doubt falls away from your face at mention of your mother and it takes all of his willpower to keep himself from smirking at how quickly you give in at the mere mention of what you left in the first place. Nodding, you accept his words without question and he's reminded of why he's so terribly fond of you in the first place.
"I understand," you mutter, mirroring his previous words to you and the corner of his mouth lifts in a smirk as he dips his head low enough that your noses do touch this time, the tip of his brushing gently against yours.
"I'll pay any cost to keep you safe and that's why I had you sent away during my conversation with Lady Shoko," he apologizes and you believe he's earnest given the way he looks down through heavily lidded and lashed eyes. "I won't make that mistake again. You do deserve to decide your own fate."
He keeps the fact your fate has long been decided to himself, the illusion of choice more important than actually having choice itself. You smile sweetly, nodding between his palms, making your noses brush once again.
"Thank you, Lord Geto."
He shakes his head, backing away from you. The smile on your face dims with the loss of him so close and you send a message to your fingertips to stay at your side - you haven't been given permission to touch him as badly as you want to.
It's isn't the first time you've considered how he'd feel between your palms. Would he be cool to the touch, as his own hands are? Would he let you explore each divot and crease of his body, your eyes roving and your imagination doing the same? Would he allow you to kiss him, lips brushing against lips, noses brushing once again?
Heat you feel fearful of blooms in your gut and you look away, cheeks warm. You hope he can't tell what you're thinking as you wait for him to respond.
"Suguru," he corrects. "I'm always Suguru to you."
He swears he sees the yellow daffodils at his feet spring to life with the warmth of your gaze when you avert your eyes from him to the ground, girlish embarrassment keeping you from looking a god in the eye. Chuckling, he reaches for you again and pulls your face toward him, pressing his cool lips against your forehead.
You gasp and he drops his hand, squeezing yours that lies at your side before turning to leave but not before tossing another glance in your direction over his shoulder.
"Let's do this again soon. I've missed it terribly."
You nod a response, too shaken to speak.
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"What do you bring before me?"
Suguru never looks more grand than when he sits on this throne of bone, the picture of repose with his legs spread wide enough that his robes fall between them. His arms rest on either side of the chair, generally, but right now he rests his chin between the thumb and finger of one hand watching while his servants bring forth another soul for his judgement.
You watch from your own spot in the crowd, flanked by guards, simultaneously curious and horrified at how easy this is for him. He is judgement and you simply get to witness the process of life created above being squandered down below due to its own misdeeds.
He has been doing it for a long, long time, you remind yourself if only to quell the way your stomach turns as he denies another lost soul passage.
The job he's performing isn't entirely unlike yours - the ability to bring forth life, even if it is just simple vegetation and flora, a gift you were born with. Flowers bloom where you walk, trees grow leaves to shield you from the sun. You're the sole reason little yellow daffodils have once again sprung up across the grounds, the servants marveling at life dwelling the halls of the otherwise dismal realm.
"My lady?"
Your eyes flit from where the man you are so enraptured by sits to your left, one of his servants kneeling at your side. You greet them with a smile and they shrink slightly, uncertain of how to react to the unweighted offering. A smile means something down here and usually it isn't anything good, a lesson you haven't yet had to learn given the way the Lord of the Underworld reciprocates the sunny glances you give him.
"Lord Geto has asked that you join him in his chambers momentarily."
That isn't what you were expecting to be told and it must show on your face, smile falling into a small "o" shape as you look down at your unimpressive robes. You took care to look nice today, of course, but you don't feel as though you should appear before him looking like this.
"I'll escort you," the servant offers and you nod, still uncertain of what will be happening behind the heavy, closed doors when he has you alone.
The two of you haven't truly been alone until this point. There's always a servant, a courier, a guest. You aren't sure one can ever be truly alone in a place like this that dwells with the damned but you rise to your feet anyway, bowing your head as you walk through the crowd and toward the corridor that leads to your destination.
His chambers are empty when you arrive but you are ushered through the doors anyway, jumping as they shut with a heavy slam behind you.
Just like that, you are left to your own devices.
The already cavernous space seems even larger when you're standing in it, eyes darting from the walls to the ceiling to the bed itself. You remember, vaguely, spending time there. You can almost recall the way the linens felt against your skin, cool and comforting. You know he touched you then, held your hands and your whimpering form if you'd wake up in the night disoriented and fearful.
It couldn't have been more than months ago but it feels like a lifetime, you're a different woman than you were the first time you rested beneath those sheets but you will always remember his kindness.
Gingerly, you step out of your spot and begin to pace around the room with your hands clasped behind your back. Your footsteps fade into background noise as you look around and wonder when he will join you, still feeling anxious about why he called you there in the first place.
Part of you hopes he will finally kiss you in the privacy of his chambers. That he'll finally do what you've felt he's on the precipice of doing for weeks, gentle brushes of your hand and his body against yours sending you reeling and running back to your own quarters to catch your breath.
Without noticing, your fingers flit to your lower lip and you rub it gently, imagining what it would be like to be kissed by a man for the first time. This is no mere man, though, this is a god.
You want to be kissed by a god.
Giddiness makes you giggle to yourself, your fingertips still rubbing an idle pattern across your lower lip as the door opens behind you. Dropping your hands to your sides, you turn toward the open doors with a smile as Suguru steps into the room.
He smiles at the sight of you too and your palms bead with sweat as he approaches you, towering a head above your own and tilts his head to the side.
"Do you remember the last time you were in here?"
Despite recalling the fuzzy outlines of what occurred during the weeks you were too tired to move just moments ago, you shake your head. You'd like to hear own retelling of the events if he'd be generous enough give it to you. He chuckles and brings his hands to your biceps, holding them gently.
"You slept for weeks," he reminds, smile still spread across his features. You don't have to know his own magic is the reason that you slept and he has no intention of informing you of such. "I sat by the bed and kept watch, I wanted to make sure personally no harm would come to you."
It's romantic, you think, the way that he cares for me.
It can't simply be the thrill of being away from home any longer that makes your stomach flutter in his presence. It isn't the forbidden fun of doing something you know your mother would hate, frolicking in a realm that doesn't belong to her at the side of a man with more power than you can imagine.
You are feeling something dangerously real and it emboldens you to bend your arms upward and grasp his wrists in your palms. His smile dims into a sultry smirk and you return it with a moon-eyed look of your own.
"I wish I remembered more about it," you mumble. His hands slide from your arms toward your face and he gently rests them on either side of your neck, thumbs resting on the delicate column of your throat.
"We have plenty of time to make memories you do remember in here," he offers and you giggle nervously. "That's not why I asked you here, though."
Your smile dims as you look at him curiously, hands still wrapped around his wrists. His smirk falls and his face becomes unreadable, eyes darkening.
"Do you believe me a monster after witnessing my work?"
Those words aren't what you were expecting to hear following his prior ones but you shake your head with urgency, tightening your hold on his wrists.
"Of course not, Suguru," you let his name slip past your lips and he squeezes the sides of your neck in response. Your eyes flutter and you stutter. "W-we all have jobs we must do even if they're ugly."
He nods once.
"I knew you'd understand."
Nothing further is elaborated but you don't mind, basking in his praise of you while watching him carefully. You look over his lips, his cheekbones, his dark eyebrows that seem knit together in concern.
"Is something the matter?"
Your voice is delicate when you ask, sweet a spring breeze it has been far too long he's felt caress his skin, and he chuckles darkly.
"I've been called away to meet with your mother and Lord Gojo."
Frozen, your eyes widen and he moves to soothe you, pulling you into his chest and pressing your cheek against his robes. Your arms fall to your sides but you move to wrap them around his waist instead, burying your face and inhaling the sharp, clean scent of him.
He smells nothing like the death you've experienced in the meadows, a bird or a faun, at times an unfortunate wanderer. He carries none of the smell of decay or ruin. Not of the rot of dead flowers, earthy and pungent enough you have to turn your head away to clear your nostrils.
Just clean, simple, pure. You inhale and savor.
"They haven't asked that you accompany me and I am making no plans to bring you."
This should concern her, he thinks. Your fate is once again being decided without your presence but you don't seem nearly as offended this time as you were the last.
"I'd rather stay here, if that's alright," you mumble against his chest and he squeezes you. This is the answer he desired, perhaps even expected, but it delights him. You made it there on your own without any gentle direction.
"Of course it is," his big hands rub your back as he soothes you. "I'll ensure you're taken care of while I'm away. You will want for nothing, I promise."
His assurances settle in your chest warmly and you unbury your face from his robes, looking up. Without thinking, you crane your neck as long as it will stretch and stand on your tip toes, pressing your lips against his chastely.
The last thing he expected was for you to be this bold but he presses his lips against yours in return nevertheless. The kiss is merely a peck, a rubbing of skin on skin instead of the tongue and teeth and saliva he'd love to share with you, but it's a message. Return home safe dances across his lips sure as your soft skin grazes them and he misses the feeling as soon as you step down, feet flat on the ground below.
Smiling down at you, he presses his lips against your forehead the same way he always does when he's about to take his leave and you deflate almost visibly knowing this means the two of you will be separated for an unknown amount of time.
"No harm will come to you nor will any decision be made without you present, understand?"
He's making a promise he can't keep yet you nod, eyes searching his face for any inkling of what could be coming.
"I must go immediately but I will return to you as soon as I'm able."
You sigh, the sound light as air, and he chuckles despite himself. Holding you for a moment longer, he kisses your forehead one final time before creating space between the two of you. You watch him head toward the door with a frown, lips still tingling with the touch of a god.
"You can stay here until I return," he mentions breezily as if the two of you are discussing meal plans and not the potential of violence that awaits him in the earthen realm. "These quarters are your own now."
You nod, looking around.
"I'll see you soon."
He exits the doors in a rush, muttering under his breath while shutting them tightly behind him. The small army he has requested to flank the doors while he's gone approaches him, standing at rest while they await their orders.
"She is not to leave this room except to take meals or explore the grounds. At least four of you must remain with her at all times."
The guards nod in unison at his orders knowing their options are obey or die and you stand blissfully unaware on the other side of the door of the fact you've just been locked into a cell until he can figure out how to keep you here permanently.
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"We can't keep going this long between seeing one another, Suguru."
Geto hums unenthusiastically, stomping through the entry of your mother's sprawling estate while Lord Gojo joins him at his side, jovially sipping from the same chalice that has remained full for his entire stay on the grounds. He's certain the nymphs utterly dote on his old friend, tittering over his pretty eyes and hair, the same way everyone does.
"If it were up to me we would not meet at all, Satoru, but I appreciate your warm welcome."
Gojo clutches his chest with his free hand and cackles, tipping his head back as he matches Geto's pace with ease. The sunlight that pours into the open marble halls burns the darkened eyes of the man who was summoned here for no reason other than to be threatened and he finds his patience thinning with every word he is being forced to listen to.
"You wound me, old friend. Have you forgotten how much fun we used to have?"
Suguru snorts.
"Unfortunately, no."
They did have fun at one point in time before a war and their responsibilities turned a friendship into something uneasy - a constant power play between the man gifted with the divine dominion over everyone and everything and the man doomed to herd them after they've done their earthly wrongs. It hardly seemed fair but as you said, sometimes jobs must be done no matter how ugly they are.
"Well, if it's any consolation, I do not blame you for your misdeeds in regards to the young goddess. She is very pretty."
The mention of you makes Suguru bristle and the other god just shrugs, chuckling as he sips more wine and the two of them finally approach where your mother rests among her nymphs with her arms folded over her chest. If looks could kill, the Lord of the Underworld would surely find himself one of the damned.
"Nice of you to join us, Lord Geto. Finally able to carve enough time out of your schedule of torturing my daughter to show up?"
He offers a polite bow of his head, refusing to speak any further. A servant offers him wine and he refuses, raising a palm.
"So now you refuse an offering of wine? You truly have no sense, that's one thing about you that is perpetually true."
Satoru chuckles at his side, amused by your mother's undressing of the fellow god before her, and he recalls just how long all of you have known each other. Since you were young gods and goddesses, much like you who hasn't seemed to realize you are his captive and not his prize as he keeps insinuating.
"My demands are simple so I will not keep you for any longer than I must," your mother starts and Suguru's eyes flick upward to examine her. The two of you resemble each other enough that it's striking but you lack her venom, something he's grateful for having been bit by the snake more than once so to speak. "My daughter will be returned to me by next sunset and there will be no harm to you or your realm."
Finally, the man breaks his silence and he shakes his head with a chuckle, raven colored mane fanning around him with each movement.
"And if I refuse?"
Your mother chuckles in like, leaning forward in her sitting position. A man is smart enoguh to know when he's about to be bitten again so he takes a few steps backward.
For being a gentle Goddess of the Harvest, she sure is rotten.
"Then there will be repercussions."
He nods.
"She's happy where she's at. Come take her if you'd like to try."
Moving to turn on his heel and exit, he's stopped by a hand on his shoulder. He knows it belongs to Satoru and he sighs, tensing his shoulders to shrug him off to no avail.
"Now don't be hasty, Suguru. There is a lot at stake here."
The only thing he can think of is what's at stake being you. He could agree, send you back to this realm to pick and grow and dig until your fingers bleed. He could watch you as he has for all these years, cold and alone wondering when he'd have the opportunity to make you his own.
"If there's so much at stake, come claim what you desire so badly."
Satoru drops his hand and turns his head to look at Demeter, shrugging. His friend takes his leave, exiting through the corridor he just entered through
"There's your answer," he sniffs. "I did all I could."
If death himself is willing to die for you, there isn't much more than Satoru can do besides sit back and wonder what about you has become so enchanting to the man he'd risk it all for another taste of his little prisoner.
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It has only been days since the last time you saw Suguru but you grow restless within his chambers despite the comfort they bring you.
You snuggle into his bedding, the familiar scent of him bringing only temporary ease to the pain in your heart his departure has brought, and wonder how his meeting is going but your mind drifts to things far less worrisome than if you'll be forced to return home or not.
Oddly enough, your mind settles on thinking about the man that Geto mentioned before his departure.
Lord Gojo is someone you've met a few times and you've always found him to be jovial if not a bit grating at times, flirting with the nymphs and servants without a care in the world despite his massive power. You take a moment to consider the differences between the two men, one wearing his power like a halo and the other like a noose.
You can't help but wonder if it's a difference in who they are in their hearts that led them to such opposing views of their power, perhaps even the world at large. You make a note to ask Suguru more when he returns, stretching your legs beneath the blankets over them with a frown.
The chamber doors open and you sit up, smiling as Suguru enters but your face falls noticing the droll look across his. You don't move to further cover yourself, allowing him see your bare flesh in person for the first time but the view doesn't spur the look off of his face.
"My treasure," he starts before sinking to his knees at the side of the bed. "You need to listen to everything I'm saying, okay?"
You remember this sight all too well, big hands capturing one of your own but you're grateful to be cognizant this time. He allows himself the luxury of one moment to look over you - your soft skin, your pebbled nipples topping perfect breasts, the delicate divot of your bellybutton - but the moment is fleeting as he meets your eyes and you understand the situation must be serious.
"I am willing to send the realm into disarray to keep you but I have to know that you want to be here with me and nowhere else."
Granting you a moment to think, he watches your face carefully for any sign of uncertainty. The faintest trace will mean that he failed, all of this was for nothing, but it hasn't appeared yet. You reach for his face, cupping his cheek in your small palm and he exhales, smiling serenely.
"Can you promise me freedom, Suguru?"
Pondering your words, fear seeps into his limbs but he decides to, for once, give you an honest answer. No deception, no hint of trickery despite how easy it would be for him to keep you here as his captive and not his lover. He could lock you away, post all the guards outside your door for all eternity and you'd never leave but he wants you to want him. To need him. To desire him.
"I cannot promise you freedom but I can promise you devotion like you've never experienced."
You nod and lean toward him, lips brushing against his once again. The intent is far less chaste than the first time, the heat you always feel stir inside of you when you look at him for just long enough sending fire through your limbs. Pulling away from his face for a moment, you smile and reach for his shoulders to pull him into the bed with you, to which he obliges. Kneeling above you, he searches your face and you brush his hair off of his face and over his shoulder.
"Then I promise you the same."
The confirmation he needs leaves your lips and he can hold back no longer, hungrily enveloping your lips in a kiss that you eagerly accept. It would take more time than you currently have to consider when you began to fall for this man who plucked you from your home and dropped you into a world not meant for you, so you simply choose to focus on the way his hands feel across your bare flesh.
They're as cold as you expected they'd be but it isn't unwelcome, deft fingers dancing along the underside of your soft breast while he dots your jaw and neck with sensual kisses that make your head feel the same way it does after you've enjoyed dandelion wine with the dryad back home - lighter than air and heavier than lead.
Groaning, he begins to rut his hips gently against your bare mound and you reach for the tie fastening his robes over his waist, fingers moving to untie the knot as quickly as you can. You don't expect to feel him pressed against you so quickly, the searing heat of his heavy cock sliding through your already slippery folds and catching on your sensitive clit in a way that makes you gasp.
"I-I've never done this before," you confess as if it's a sin, your stomach in your throat. He leaves his task of lavishing attention on your neck for a moment to meet your eyes, smiling in a way that makes your thighs clench around his torso.
"I'll take good care of you."
He will and he does, returning to kissing a path down your neck until he reaches your breasts, taking one pert nipple into his mouth with a lewd moan. The sound of him laving his tongue over the sensitive spot makes you arch your back, his cock still rubbing you just short of where you need him most and you whine. He releases your nipple from his mouth, the bud shining with his saliva, and cups your face.
"Patience. I'll make it worth your wait."
Switching to your opposite nipple, your back arches again, forcing more of your breast into his eager mouth. He loves seeing you already on the precipice of coming apart, fortunate to be the first and only man to ever see your lust heavy gaze.
You tear me apart, he thinks as he gazes up at you with your lashes resting against your cheek and your mouth open in a beautiful display just for him. Releasing your nipple, his hands trail down your torso and he moans, aloud, at the feeling of the hair covering your mound beneath his fingers. It's as luxurious as the rest of you and he promises on a day when less is at stake, he'll give you the attention you truly deserve. He'll bury his face in the thatch of hair and even lower, giving your cunt as many kisses as he wishes to give your pretty mouth, but with an uncertain future time is of the essence and he doesn't want to hesitate in claiming you.
Tentatively, he traces his finger along the seam of your pussy and you hiss at the teasing, canting your hips messily into his touch. This is true need, the sum of your want greater than any mishap that your clumsiness could cause, and he smirks against the top of your breast and watches your face contort in pleasure as he spreads your lips with his index finger and thumb of one hand, using his middle finger to rub methodical circles over your clit.
"Is that alright?"
He asks and all you can manage is a nod and a pant, walls flexing with each circle his finger turns over the engorged bud. Your head continues to swim and your eyes shut, your chin tipping toward the ceiling but he cannot allow you not to witness your own undoing. Using his free hand, he cups your chin gently and tips your face back down to give you a full glance at his sticky finger working its way to your entrance.
A squeak leaves you as he gently spreads the wetness seeping out of you from your cunt upward toward your clit, the slick feeling of his just his finger making your eyes roll backward in your head. This is nothing you've ever felt before but it's everything you've imagined, the gentle way he keeps kissing your breast as he finally works one finger into you making you moan. Open mouthed, hot faced, chest heaving - the exact noise he wants to hear you make for all eternity.
"Feels good?" He asks, dark eyes meeting yours as they open while he thumbs at your clit messily. Your walls constrict around his finger and it makes his already painfully swollen cock jump when he imagines how you'll feel wrapped around him like a glove.
Hips moving on their own, you try to match the pace of his finger plunging in and out of you but struggle and he takes control, hand dropping your chin and sliding down your torso to hold your hip. He helps you rock your hips gently, soft mumbles and moans leaving your lips and he knows what's about to happen before you do, cunt locking his finger inside of you.
"Oh Suguru," you pant, gnawing your lower lip and shutting your eyes tightly as you cum so hard your thighs shake with the force. He smiles against your breast and positions himself so that he's on his knees, hand that was just playing with your pussy running along his length to spread his silky pre-cum and your arousal along every inch.
Watching, your eyes widen when he slides his tip through your folds before positioning himself at your opening. He leans over your body, resting on his forearm and kisses you as he moves to enter. Blunt tip slipping inside of you, you gasp but only out of dizzying pleasure.
The noises encourage him to bury another inch, slowly giving himself over to every slick, warm part of you and you gasp in unison as he continues to bury himself deeper and deeper, finally bottoming out with a deep groan right above the shell of your ear.
"Mine," he whispers and you nod, chin resting against his shoulder as he buries his face in your neck.
There's surely no disputing it now as he begins to gently thrust, hips moving in a small, merciful rhythm.
"Yours," you whimper back, kissing the expanse of his shoulder blade between staccato moans. He feels too much, too big, too hot but you can't deny that it feels good, your walls flexing around his length as if you were made just for him.
The sensuality of the moment makes him realize he's coming close to his own orgasm and he reaches between your bodies to thumb at your clit, each touch making you squeeze around him tighter and tighter until you hold him in place once again, cumming for him twice and giving him unspoken permission to do the same.
He spills himself inside of you, the heat making you whine and he chuckles while trying to catch his breath.
"Still want to stay?" He asks, face still pressed into your neck and you nod, wrapping your tired legs around his waist to trap him against you.
A square piece of white sheet dotted with small spots of blood is dropped in front of your mother by a messenger sent from the Underworld courtesy of your beloved and she shakes with rage upon immediate understanding of the meaning of what's laying on the marble before her.
You are no longer her daughter, her prized little lamb, you belong to him.
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The threat of war was just that - a threat.
Autumn and winter both passed without further questioning aside from a few additional visits from Shoko who has become your reluctant ally if not friend and confidante. She has kept you as informed as you need to be about the happenings above but, at your own request, keeps the rest to herself. You're blissfully unaware and fine with it.
Your mother's refusal to invade the Underworld with her own thin resources and Satoru's refusal to send any of his own troops after a now sullied goddess rendered all attempts to return you home as futile but you do return, on your own accord, to your meadow the day before you know your duties to bring forth the fertile season begin.
"And you're sure that you will be alright on your own?"
You nod, Suguru refusing to let go of your hand while Shoko watches him unamused. It's one thing to watch your friend fall in love, it's another to watch him behave like a lovesick child with no other choice.
"Let her go, Suguru. She has work to do."
He glares in the direction of the goddess who shrugs as if to say "it wasn't my choice" about your decision to return to fulfill your duties each spring. You know things cannot run without you here and he agreed knowing how much it means to you, letting you live barefoot in the sunlight for three months of the year.
His flowers stay in bloom even while you're gone, yellow painting his walk every morning while you're away.
"I'll see you soon, okay? Don't miss me too much."
Returning to your work came naturally, watching life spring forth from you as comforting as the sound of your own heartbeat and you can't hide your smile looking overhead to watch your very own protector in the form of a blackbird flying in wide circles above you.
"You think that's him?" A dryad asks innocently and you nod, gaze still fixed above despite your hands already working their magic on the yellow and brown grass below your feet.
"It is."
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senualothbrok · 27 days ago
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Summary: After you save him from Orin's clutches, Gale has some things to work through. You show him that he is not alone.
Featuring a fireside chat with Astarion.
A response to this anon ask. I hope you like it 💜
Word count: 2.1k
Non-18+. Mild hurt/comfort. Gale x reader/Tav.
AO3 link
A/N: You can watch Gale's reactions to being rescued from Orin's lair here (at 12.32) and here.
Thank you so much @dekariosclan for beta reading and being my marvellous Gale consultant, as always!
****
His scream tears you from sleep. It is shrill, piercing, a desperate flinch against untold horrors. You reach out for him as he gasps, clawing at his orb scar, choking for breath.
When you touch him, he thrashes, still caught in the talons of his nightmare. You see the scars left by Orin in his cloying sweat, his shaking frame, his subsiding shouts as he crumples into you. He cannot hide them from you, much as he tries.
“It was a dream.” You press his head against your chest, twining your fingers through his tangled hair. “You’re safe. You're home.”
He does not speak for a long time. His eyelashes flutter against your skin, his heartbeat jolting through you as he searches frantically for his glade of calm. When he eventually finds it, you feel his hands come to rest on the small on your back, steadying, anchoring. You hold him, torn apart by a gratitude as strong as grief. He is here. You could have lost him, but he is here. You will never let go of him again.
He clears his throat. When he moves back to look at you, his smile does not quite meet his eyes.
“My apologies, my love. I didn't mean to wake you–”
His voice is hoarse, broken. You shake your head. “You have nothing to apologise for, Gale. Absolutely nothing.”
He looks away for a moment. You know you have a brief opening, now, before the mask comes up, before the jolly dismissals and self-deprecating quips resume their well-worn routines. You place your hand on his cheek.
“Gale, you know you can talk to me, don’t you? Everything that happened–”
He jerks his head, taking your hand in his. His skin is clammy, and there is a hollowness in his gaze, though it is still tender as rain-kissed earth.
“I'm fine, Tav. Please don't worry yourself.” A brisk smile of reassurance, warring with the dark circles under his eyes. “Of all the things on your very full plate, my welfare is not something you need to burden yourself with.”
You are about to object, but the kiss he plants on your cheek is swift and firm. When he rises from your shared bedroll, you feel bereft.
“I'm quite alright. Nothing that a bit of fresh air and a quick walk won't cure.”
He combs his fingers through his hair, squaring his shoulders. The walls are up, and he is retreating into the night. Even as you ask, you know what his answer will be.
“Should I come with you?”
He huffs, bending down to kiss your forehead. “No, please. Rest. I deprived you of a good sleep tonight, and gods knows how many nights before this. I want you to take what rest you can for our battles ahead. I won’t stray far. Don’t worry.”
You cup his face tightly, desperately. “I love you.”
This time, his eyes smile before he turns away. “I love you too.”
*****
In the distance, streaks of dawn tease at the bruises in the sky. Sleep is a triviality that eludes you. You huddle around the campfire, fretting, trying not to mark the hours that Gale has been gone. Trying not to imagine all of the nightmares which were until recently Gale’s reality.
You fail. You think of how Orin must have flayed Gale’s mind from his body as he struggled, powerless and alone. You imagine his terror, not just of torture and death, but of the orb inside him. And you wonder whether he despaired as he waited, doubting that his love would come for him, fearing that his friends had forgotten him. Convinced that he was once again abandoned to die.
‘Of all the things on your very full plate, my welfare is not something you need to burden yourself with.’
You bury your face in your hands, a chaos of panic, love and guilt. It takes you a moment to register the presence beside you.
“Gods, you look awful.”
Astarion is peering at you like he is examining a torn gown. A trickle of blood stains his collar, the triumph of a late night hunt. He wrinkles his nose as he studies you.
“Do I need to have a word with Gale about laying off on” – his hand circles vaguely – “whatever it is the two of you do at night?”
You do not have the energy to glare at him. Instead, you glance towards the edges of camp, scanning for signs of Gale’s return. When you see nothing, you sigh. Astarion arches an eyebrow.
“Do I really need to explain why Gale might not be in the mood for that?”
Astarion tilts his head. There is understanding in the pause that follows. Astarion had been the one who helped you get Gale down from Orin’s altar, after all. He had seen the turmoil in Gale’s eyes, the blood on his limbs before the healing spells. He had felt Gale’s resistance when you both laid hands on him, easing him up. The fractured moments before Gale’s usual cheery gratitude snapped into place. Astarion would have recognised the signs better than anyone.
“He’s been having nightmares,” you manage. “But he won’t talk about them. He woke up screaming tonight. Then he went for a walk. He’s been gone for two hours.”
Astarion frowns. “If you’re worried for his safety, the wizard is more than capable of blasting people to smithereens.” He purses his lips. “Assuming he’s not magically restrained, like Orin managed–”
You wince at your rising dread. Gale is an archwizard, you remind yourself, not a defenceless babe. You fight the urge to smother him in care, to protect him and keep him safe at all costs. It is not what he needs. But perhaps you do not know what he truly needs.
“That’s not what I’m worried about.”
Astarion stares at you for a while. He leans back, brows furrowed, and you suddenly wonder if you give him enough credit. Perhaps there are things Astarion sees, despite his usual habit of deflecting things with thinly veiled insults.
“Sometimes, there are things that are better left unsaid.” He curls his lip. “Even for Gale.”
You ignore the barb, spinning towards him. “So Gale should just soldier on? Stiff upper lip, the show must go on? Even when he’s falling apart?”
“So dramatic, darling.” He tuts. “Who’s falling apart? He seems fine to me.”
You clench your hands. “The nightmares are getting worse, Astarion. Gods knows what Orin did to him.”
From the feathering of Astarion’s jaw, you know he can guess.
“And he won’t talk to me. Like he doesn’t want to be a burden. Like he’s sorry…” You scoff. “As if it’s his fault, that he’s the one who let me down.”
Astarion narrows his eyes. “If you’re suggesting that it’s your—”
“No, no,” you huff. “No, this isn’t about me. It’s about Gale.”
Astarion sighs. His gaze is weary as a scar.
“Some things are too horrific to share, darling. So atrocious that it’d be a nightmare to even hear them. He just needs to grit his teeth and get through. Survive.”
You struggle to keep the anguish from your voice. “Does he have to do that alone?”
Astarion’s mouth tightens. He averts his gaze. “Maybe that’s what he’s used to.”
You are taken aback by the resignation in Astarion’s words. Conviction rises in you, an unstoppable tide that weaves through the tents of each and every member of the family you have found.
“But he isn’t alone anymore. He doesn’t have to keep it to himself. He isn’t a burden, and there’s nothing he could do or say to drive me away. I’m here for him. We’re all here for him.”
There is a quiver in Astarion’s features. You have a sense of a door cracking open. A glimpse of something ancient and hidden.
“It takes a while,” he says quietly. “To get used to that. To believe it.”
The silence that falls over you is both heavy and light. Within it, a lifetime of loneliness and fear crashes against the battle-forged bonds of love and friendship. And you believe, with every fibre of your being, that love will endure.
Astarion jerks his head behind you. You turn, your eyes filling as they fall on what they seek.
“But if anyone can remind him,” you hear Astarion chuckle, “it’s you.”
*****
When you return to Gale’s tent, you try to settle him, but he is a flurry. His movements drag with exhaustion, yet are manic with determination.
“Is there something I can get you to help you sleep? A cup of tea? A warming spell? Do you need a–”
You embrace him. His breath catches, and you clasp him so close you can feel the points of muscle and bone. The weight of him, the miracle of him beside you. You will never take him for granted.
“Just you,” you whisper. “Here, with me.”
His lips tingle against your neck, his grasp tightening around your waist. For an eternity, neither of you let go. You are haunted by the shadow of your separation, chasing away Orin’s ghost with the strength of your need. When he dips back, his brows are steepled with concern.
“You’re troubled.” He traces his thumb across your jawline. “What troubles you?”
After all this time, he still does not understand. He cannot see how someone could love him so deeply that his pain becomes their own. He still cannot believe that someone could respond to his love by giving him their whole heart. That you could love him as he loves you. An outpouring of the soul. A sacred offering, steadfast and unending.
“That you’re troubled.” Your fingers interlace with his. “That you think your struggles are a burden to me - that I wouldn't want to share everything with you, including your suffering.”
He grimaces so sharply, it is almost a flinch.
“My love,” he heaves. “You quite literally have the weight of the world on your shoulders. It torments me to know I’ve added to that load, rather than easing it. If I weren’t such a fool to fall for Orin’s trap–”
You shake your head. The force of it stills him.
“You haven’t done anything wrong, Gale. What happened wasn’t your fault. And what you’re going through now…You don’t have to pretend that everything’s alright. I know it isn’t. I hear it, I see it, every day, every night.”
His eyes widen, the wrinkle between them deepening. You sense the knee-jerk apology that bubbles within him. Your grasp his hand tighter, the words tumbling from you like the sea surging against the shore.
“I love you. I’m here for you. I’ll never abandon you, no matter what happens. You can tell me anything. Everything. Whatever you want. And you can trust me, just like I trust you. Just like I know you love me, and will always be there for me.”
For a while, he does not speak. His gaze roams your face, searching for signs of doubt, hesitation, disapproval. But all you can give him is love.
You draw him back, sinking down to your bed roll. He softens as you curl into each other, his arm wrapping around your body. Your head nestles between his neck and shoulder, and you breathe in the sour tang of his sweat. He inhales deeply, nuzzling into your hair. Memorising you, just as you are soaking him in.
“You kept me alive, you know,” he whispers. “When Orin toyed with me, tore at me. The thought of you, your courage, your kindness. Your love. She could never break me, no matter what vile cruelties she inflicted. I had you.”
Your tears trail into the nook of his collarbone. His voice trembles.
“My foolishness, my carelessness… it could have got you killed. And when you saved me – when, yet again, you saved me from the precipice – I resolved to do better. I told myself the least I could do was cause as little hassle as possible.”
You lurch forward, your vision a blur as you take his face in your hands.
“Gale,” you breathe. “I love you more than anyone and anything. You are not, and will never be, a hassle. A burden. Never. You're the man I love, and you're everything to me.”
His eyes are bright as he brushes away your tears. You watch the shadows lift from his features as the truth of your heart washes over him, wave by wave. Slowly, reverently, he presses a kiss to each of your palms, holding them against his cheeks.
“What have I done to deserve you?”
There is awe in his voice. Wonder. And shimmering within it, the beginnings of acceptance.
You lean forward, circling the tip of his nose with your own. He lets out a shaky breath, his hands weaving around your back, pulling you closer.
“You don't need to do anything. Just be here, with me.”
You smile into each others’ lips, two rivers joining in the sea.
“I can do that.”
********
A/N: Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it! I'd love to know what you think as always, so don't be a stranger 🫶
Liked this fic? Check out my other work
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brainddeadd · 17 days ago
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Not You
Reader is Jack Hughes' best friend. Quinn Hughes is in love with her. Years of friendship go by before he finally asks her on a date, but reader is hesitant because of his sleeping around.
Warnings: kinda angsty, kinda fluffy, kiss, Jack being an actual grown up and giving good advice
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“They're not you!” Quinn exclaims, throwing his hands up in frustration.
"I'm well aware of that!" She shoots back, her heart racing.
“No,” he sighs, his voice dropping an octave. “I've been going out and sleeping around and going on fucking terrible dates with awful people trying to get over you because you don't want me, but they are not you."
"Quinn—"
“I have been trying to get over you for so long but I don't want anyone else. Do you know what it's like to sleep with someone or go on a date and wish with every fiber of your being that it was someone else sitting across from you, under you, touching you? ‘Cause I do.” He laughs bitterly, the sound breaking her heart. “And it fucking sucks, YN. To want the one person you can't have."
She bites her lip, grappling with the whirlwind of emotions crashing over her. “I’m scared, Quinn. I can’t just forget everything. You’ve been with other people.”
“Those people mean nothing to me,” he insists, stepping closer, desperation etched across his face. “Every single time, I’d look at them and imagine you. It’s not fair to them, and it’s not fair to me.”
His intensity leaves her breathless, and she struggles to find the right words. “But what if it doesn’t work? What if we end up ruining our friendship?”
Quinn’s eyes soften, vulnerability spilling over as he leans in. “I’d rather risk our friendship than keep pretending I don’t want you. Can’t you see? I’ve been in love with you for years. I don’t want to sleep around. I want to be with you.”
Her heart races, the tension in the air crackling like static. “I just don’t know if I can handle that kind of risk.”
“You won’t know until you try,” he implores, his voice barely above a whisper. “And I promise you, I will do everything in my power to make it work. I just need you to give me a chance.”
Quinn��s words hang in the air, heavy with possibility. She can feel her walls starting to crumble, but fear still grips her heart. “I… I need time to think.”
“Take all the time you need,” he replies, his shoulders relaxing slightly. “Just know that I’m serious about us. I’m not going anywhere.”
As he steps back, the distance between them feels immense, yet the connection remains electrifying. She watches him, torn between fear and longing, realizing that what he offers could change everything.
“Okay,” she finally says, the word feeling both like a promise and a challenge. “I’ll think about it.”
Quinn nods, a flicker of hope in his eyes. “That’s all I ask.”
As she watched him, a whirlwind of emotions churned within her—hope battling with anxiety. She turned her gaze to the ground, trying to gather her thoughts, but the reality of what had just transpired echoed in her mind.
“I just don’t want to get hurt,” she admitted quietly, almost to herself.
Quinn took a step closer again, his expression softening. “I get that. I really do. But I promise you, I’m not like those guys. I won’t treat you like a passing fling.”
“Then why did you sleep with them?” she questioned, her voice barely above a whisper. “If you cared so much…”
“Because I thought I could move on,” he said, his voice heavy with regret. “I thought maybe the feelings would fade, and I could forget. But every time I tried, it just made me realize how much I want you.”
She swallowed hard, the tension between them still palpable. “You’re putting a lot on the line here, Quinn.”
“I’m willing to risk it all for you. I have been for a long time,” he confessed, his gaze unwavering. “I just want you to see that I’m serious about this.”
“Let’s say I do give you a chance. What would that even look like?” she asked, curiosity creeping into her voice.
Quinn smiled softly, the tension easing slightly as he thought about it. “We take it slow. We go out on real dates, not just grabbing food after games. We find out what makes each other laugh, what our favorite things are. We go to the places we love and make new memories together.”
Her heart fluttered at the thought, but doubts still nagged at her mind. “What if we end up ruining our friendship?”
“Then we’ll fix it,” he replied, his tone steady. “I refuse to let anything come between us. You mean too much to me.”
She felt a warmth spread through her chest at his words. “I just need time to process this,” she said, her voice firm yet soft.
“Of course,” he nodded, respect evident in his eyes. “I’ll give you space. But just remember, I’m here, waiting for you to make your choice.”
As he turned to leave, she called out to him, her heart racing. “Quinn?”
He stopped and looked back, his expression hopeful.
“Thank you for being honest with me,” she said, a small smile breaking through her uncertainty.
He returned her smile, a genuine one that lit up his face. “Always.”
After he walked away, she leaned against the wall, her heart still racing. The conversation replayed in her mind, each word igniting a mix of excitement and fear.
What if they took this leap together? What if it all went wrong? But what if it went right?
The uncertainty felt overwhelming, but deep down, a flicker of hope began to bloom. Maybe it was time to confront her fears, to take a chance on something that could be extraordinary.
With a determined breath, she resolved to think things through. Whatever the outcome, she knew one thing for certain: the bond they shared was worth fighting for.
~~
Later that evening, she found herself sitting in the cozy living room of Jack’s apartment. The faint sound of a hockey game played in the background, but her mind was too consumed to pay attention. Jack was sprawled on the couch, his eyes glued to the screen, but he could sense her unease.
“Hey, you good?” he asked, turning to her with a quizzical look.
“Yeah, just… thinking,” she replied, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.
“About Quinn?” Jack’s tone was casual, but she could tell he was paying close attention.
“Maybe,” she said, biting her lip. “He… he confessed that he wants to be more than friends.”
Jack raised an eyebrow, a teasing grin breaking across his face. “Finally! I thought he’d never get his act together.”
She rolled her eyes, trying to mask her anxiety with a laugh. “It’s not that simple. I mean, he’s been with other people, Jack. What if he just thinks he wants me because he can’t find anyone else?”
“Come on, YN,” Jack said, his voice dropping to a more serious tone. “Quinn isn’t like that. He genuinely cares about you. He’s not some random guy who’s going to flake out after a few dates. You know that.”
“I do,” she admitted, running a hand through her hair. “But I’m scared. I don’t want to ruin our friendship. We’ve been through so much together.”
“That’s exactly why you should give him a chance,” Jack urged, leaning forward, his eyes locking onto hers. “You guys have a solid foundation. If it doesn’t work out, you’ll find a way to navigate it. But what if it does work? What if you both figure out that you’re better together?”
She thought about Quinn’s words from earlier, his raw honesty and the way he had poured his heart out to her. “He said he’s tired of sleeping around and just wants me. It’s kind of hard to ignore that.”
“Exactly! It sounds like he’s done playing games. He’s ready for something real,” Jack encouraged, a smile creeping onto his face. “And if he’s willing to put himself out there like that, you should at least consider it.”
“But what if it ends badly?” she asked, her voice small. “What if we break each other’s hearts?”
Jack shrugged. “That’s a risk in any relationship. But look at it this way: you both care about each other deeply. You can’t let fear keep you from exploring something that could be amazing.”
She sighed, leaning back against the couch. “I know you’re right. It’s just… hard to shake off that fear.”
“Just take your time. Think about what you really want. You don’t have to rush into anything,” Jack said, reaching over to squeeze her hand. “But don’t ignore your feelings. They’re telling you something for a reason.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” She felt a wave of gratitude for Jack, appreciating how he always knew how to guide her through tough situations.
“Quinn’s a good guy. If anyone can handle your heart, it’s him,” he added with a grin.
As the game continued on TV, she found herself lost in thought, weighing Jack’s words. Maybe it was time to confront her fears head-on.
The idea of giving Quinn a chance flickered like a light in her mind, pushing back the shadows of doubt.
“Thanks, Jack,” she said softly, glancing over at her best friend. “I really needed to hear that.”
“Anytime,” he replied, flashing her a reassuring smile.
~~
After her conversation with Jack, she felt a surge of determination. She needed to talk to Quinn—clear the air and explore what was between them. With a deep breath, she grabbed her jacket and headed out, her heart racing as she made her way to his apartment.
When she arrived, she hesitated for a moment, wondering if she was making the right choice. But she couldn’t ignore the pull she felt toward him, the way his words had lingered in her mind. With one last deep breath, she knocked on the door.
A moment later, Quinn opened it, surprise flickering across his face. “YN! I didn’t expect to see you.”
“Can I come in?” she asked, her voice steady despite the flutter in her chest.
“Of course!” he said, stepping aside to let her in. The space was cozy, a mix of sports memorabilia and comfortable furniture. He looked casual in a T-shirt and sweats, but she felt the intensity of his gaze on her.
Once the door closed behind her, she turned to face him, her heart pounding. “We need to talk.”
“Yeah, I figured as much,” Quinn said, his voice low as he ran a hand through his hair. “I’m glad you came.”
She took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. “I talked to Jack earlier. He… he helped me see things a bit more clearly.”
Quinn’s eyes brightened with hope. “And?”
“I want to give us a chance,” she admitted, the words feeling both exhilarating and terrifying. “But I think we should take it slow. I’m not ready to dive into anything without knowing we can handle it.”
“Slow sounds good to me,” he replied, relief washing over his features. “I want to do this right, to make sure you’re comfortable. We can take as much time as we need.”
“Okay,” she said, her heart fluttering at his response. “Let’s just see where this goes, day by day.”
Quinn stepped closer, closing the distance between them. The air around them seemed to shimmer with anticipation. “I’ve wanted this for so long, YN. I want to explore all of you—the things you love, your dreams, everything.”
She smiled, feeling warmth spread through her. “I want that too.”
As they stood facing each other, the atmosphere shifted, the air charged with unspoken emotions. Quinn’s eyes held a mixture of longing and sincerity, and she felt her heartbeat quicken.
“Can I—” he began, hesitating as if weighing his words carefully. “Can I kiss you?”
The question hung in the air, and she felt a rush of exhilaration. “Yes. Please.”
With that, Quinn closed the space between them, his hands gently cradling her face as he leaned in. Their lips met softly at first, a tentative exploration that sent shivers down her spine. The world around them faded away, leaving just the two of them in that moment.
Quinn’s lips moved against hers, warm and inviting, and she responded instinctively, her hands finding their way to his shoulders. As the kiss deepened, she felt a surge of emotions—relief, desire, and a sense of belonging all mingling together. He tasted of warmth and sweetness, a hint of mint from the gum he had been chewing.
Their breaths mingled, and she felt the urgency building between them as he tilted his head, deepening the kiss. The sensation was electric, igniting a fire within her that she hadn’t realized had been smoldering all along.
Quinn’s hands slid down to her waist, pulling her closer, as if trying to meld their bodies together. She wrapped her arms around his neck, losing herself in the moment, savoring the taste of him, the warmth of his body pressed against hers.
Time seemed to stand still, the kiss stretching into something breathtaking, a moment she wished could last forever. She could feel the tension and longing that had built between them finally breaking free, unleashing a torrent of emotions she had kept locked away.
When they finally pulled away, breathless, their foreheads resting against each other, the world around them slowly came back into focus.
“Wow,” Quinn breathed, his voice barely above a whisper, eyes shimmering with awe.
“Wow,” she echoed, her heart racing as she processed the intensity of the kiss.
“I guess taking it slow might be the best decision we ever make,” he said, a soft smile spreading across his face.
“Definitely,” she replied, feeling a warmth blossom in her chest.
As they stood there, the distance between them faded, and she knew that this was just the beginning of something beautiful—a new chapter filled with possibilities, each moment waiting to unfold.
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ssahotchnerr · 1 year ago
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I’m not sure if you’re still taking soft hotch requests but imagine hotch coming home late and you had fallen asleep on the couch waiting for him! Lots of cuddles and kisses because he accidentally wakes you up even though he’s trying not too
kisses at 3 am
WHY is this not my life cw; all fluff with a teeny touch of angst
boarding now. should be home around 3. see you soon, love you.
aaron's text caused your heart to skip a beat, a giddiness filling you from head to toe as butterflies erupted in your stomach. finally.
a case has kept him away from you, and notably the longest he's had in a while. you've been greatly spoiled recently, a case typically not lasting more than four days at a time. or they've even been somewhat local, allowing him to come home at night. but that was not the present scenario; aaron a few states away, and you haven't seen him in close to ten days.
with jack already asleep in his room down the hall, you curled up on the couch, set on staying up. you put a movie on to keep you company, and began counting down the minutes until you heard the familiar sound of aaron's key hitting the doorknob, announcing his arrival home and ultimately allowing you to throw yourself into his arms. and once you were in them, you didn't plan on letting go.
but as determined as you were, you vaguely could feel yourself nodding off. you had a long day at work, haven't been sleeping too soundly with aaron's absence, and you were exhausted. you put up a fight, urging and forcing your eyes to stay open despite the constant droop, needing to see aaron after being apart for far too long. but you sadly made the mistake of laying down, in search of a more comfortable position, so you succumbed to sleep involuntarily.
when aaron opened the door, at half past three, he was met with your sleeping form sprawled out on the couch, the ending credits of your (second) movie rolling on the screen illuminated in front of you.
a soft smile tugged at aaron's lips at the visual. the whole time he was away, all he could picture was coming home and seeing you. the texts throughout the day, the occasional late calls, made time away more manageable, but it was still painful. they made him feel like you were just within reach, that he could simply reach out and you'd be right there, that you could be in his arms and he could kiss you senseless. but the realization, or reality of the distance between, only produced a larger pit to form in his stomach.
it also filled him with a feeling he couldn't quite describe, having someone waiting for him to come home - someone eager to see him. after the divorce with haley, aaron felt like love was forever behind him - that he didn't deserve love somehow, anymore - but you've changed his perspective on everything. he was softer, lighter, more perceptive because of you. you've opened his eyes in more ways than he thought possible.
once the door was locked behind him, aaron placed his go-bag down besides the coat closet as quietly as he could manage. he then kicked off his shoes, removed both his suit jacket and tie, and placed them neatly on a nearby chair.
after, first, checking on jack - he grabbed the tv remote off the arm of the couch beside your head, clicking it off and submitting the room to darkness. he then carefully slid onto the couch next to you, wrapping an arm securely around your waist and scooting his body as close to yours as it possibly could be.
a wave of peace immediately rushed through his body at your contact, all the lingering stress he's felt the past few days disappearing in seconds. he buried his face into your neck, placing a soft kiss on the skin he found. he didn't stop there either, giving you multiple - on your neck, jaw, brushing his lips anywhere he could reach.
in result you stirred, your shoulders squaring as you stretched briefly as you began to awake. eyes still closed, your brows crumpled into small confusion at the sudden arousal, still overtaken by the deep depths of sleep.
"it's just me, sweetheart." aaron whispered, placing another chaste kiss on your neck. his head laid onto your shoulder, his hand rubbing your hip gently. "go back to sleep."
subconsciously, you recognized his voice; your body relaxing as you melted into him and back into the couch, a soft, content exhale escaping you as you began to reenter sleep.
and subconsciously needing to be closer, your body turned, positioning yourself so your back was to his front, burrowing back against him. again, aaron's face fell into the crook of your neck, his warm breath as he nestled against you. his hand slipped under your shirt to rest on your abdomen, the lull of his thumb brushing your skin guiding him to sleep not long after you.
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yesimwriting · 4 months ago
Text
Untethered
part 2 of Understanding 
Summary: As you and Aegon grow closer, thoughts of the future leave you more uneasy than ever. The questions of war and marriage are foes you cannot escape, especially when influenced by the other greens.
Warnings: plot deviations (mainly the implication that helaena isn't married to aegon and her twins being someone else's ik it'd make canonical sesne for aegon to be able to have 2 wives, especially as king, but this is just a way to make the greens more desperate for aegon to get married and produce an heir), ethics?, and canon compliant incest (reader is rhaenyra’s daughter)
----
There is nothing crueler than a lack of conviction. Your mother and family are preparing for a war that seems to grow more inevitable by the day, Aegon spends his days planning retaliations and strategizing ways to strengthen his feeble claim to the throne, and you are left at a standstill.
The worry and guilt meld together in your veins, the unease pulling you from reality. It doesn't matter that you're currently sitting in the library, away from the Hightowers--away from Aegon. Your current distance cannot undue what has already been done.
You did not mean to care for Aegon, you did not want to care for Aegon. How are you supposed to go home and look your mother in the eye while knowing that you welcomed her usurper into your childhood apartments like an old friend? That you allowed him to sleep in your bed? That you--that you allowed him to kiss you?
You blink, eyes focusing on the pages in front of you. Your mother, your siblings, Daemon, Rhaena Baela--you have to assume that they're all fine. You cannot allow a moment's curiosity to send you down a spiral.
And Aegon--there is no point in worrying about Aegon. As of now, the Red Keep is his. He's safe here, and with the realm so divided, no one is going to suggest sending him anywhere.
"I should have known you'd be here." You blink, head turning towards the stacks. Aegon's standing between rows of books, only a few steps away from the table you've claimed as your own. "I checked your apartments first, foolish of me."
He's watching you, a soft smile playing at his lips. You latch onto that. "I haven't been here that long."
Aegon takes a step forward, his attention shifting away from you and towards the few books stacked neatly by your side. "No...it seems I'm only about 3 books late."
His grin becomes a more certain thing as he moves towards your table. He pulls out the chair next to yours. Instead of sitting right away, Aegon leans forward, his lips pressing against yours.
The kiss is as warm as it is jarring. Knowing that you should stop this is not enough to rid you of the desire to melt into his touch. He pulls back before you can truly react. "Aegon."
He grins, keeping his body angled towards you as he sits. "We're the only ones in here."
Despite his reassurance, your eyes still drift towards the stacks blocking off your seats from the rest of the library. Maybe your tendency to choose secluded seating areas as a way of avoiding as many skeptical glances as possible is paying off. You look at Aegon again, nodding your head slowly.
His smile slowly falls. "Are you alright?"
You can't imagine that he wants to hear about the way you worry about your family and the guilt you feel for wanting to be around him. If anything, telling him about what's concerning you may alienate him. There's nothing trustworthy about an untethered heart.
You nod again, this time the motion more direct. "Yes." You sit up a little straighter in an attempt to feel more connected to what's in front of you. "I'm just a little tired."
His eyebrows pinch together briefly. The look is so pensive you have to work at not squirming. After a beat, he softens. He leans towards you, voice dropping to just above a whisper as he asks, "Did something keep you from your sleep last night, Princess?"
The suggestive lilt to Aegon's voice leaves your skin warmer than it was moment ago. His smugness is only encouraged by your silence. "Someone, actually."
"Really?" He grins, an elbow coming onto the table to prop up his chin. "Do tell."
You hum once, pretending to need to think through your response. "There's not much to tell." Your eyebrows draw together as you mime contemplating even further. "He was quite tiresome. He was so talkative it made it difficult for me, of all people, to find sleep."
Aegon's glare makes it difficult for you to not laugh. "Very funny." Before you can facetiously thank him for recognizing your sense of humor, Aegon continues, "I'm curious, is that why you crawled onto my lap last night? To shut me up?"
The blood in your veins turns to ice. An uneasy heat burns its way through your chest and up your neck. Despite being aware of your solitude, your eyes instinctually dart towards the stacks behind Aegon. "I did--I was not on your lap."
He relaxes in his seat, raising his eyebrows as he presses his lips together in a way that does little to disguise his smirk. "That's not the way I recall it."
In an attempt to ignore the lingering warmth still burning your skin, you roll your eyes. Despite his attempts at flustering you, you're still glad for his company.
"If it is sleep you desire," Aegon's arm moves towards the table, a book you hadn't noticed in his grasp, "Perhaps this can help." You glance between him and the book curiously. "It's a collection of some of the most notable accounts of dragons and what they accomplished with their riders." He pauses, lips briefly pressing together. "I'm sure you're familiar with some of the stories, but this is an updated volume."
He--Aegon--After missing your family for so long, such a personal and genuine gesture nearly makes your eyes sting. As a child, when you spent the most time around Aegon, all you ever wanted to do was recount stories of the most fearsome dragons. As you grew, the interest never left you, you just learned to talk about it less.
There's something so comforting about being understood like this. "You brought me a book on dragon history?"
He's staring at his hands. "In the first few pages, there's an illustration of a dragon that looks a lot like Eveningstar."
You beam, opening the book. "I love it."
The corner of his mouth pulls itself upwards. "Yeah?" His hands come to rest on the table's hardwood surface. Aegon shifts forward, his knee brushing against yours. "Read to me?"
You nod, turning the pages until you find the start of the first chapter. "Balerion the Black Dread."
The story is one you know well. Balerion's time with Daenys the Dreamer, Balerion being one of five dragons to escape Dragonstone, Balerion's conquests with Aegon's namesake.
As you read, Aegon moves closer. His breath is a warm, barely there thing against the side of your neck. You know better than to give him the satisfaction of a reaction, concentrating on the words in front of you.
Sensing your determination to ignore him, Aegon lifts a hand away from the table. You tense, but continue to read. He finds a strand of loose strand of hair that's fallen past your shoulder. He pulls the strand back, fingers lingering against your collarbone.
Your own lungs betray you, your breath briefly catching itself in your throat. "Aegon."
"What?" He doesn't move away, he doesn't even bother to stop smoothing back your hair. "You're the most honorable princess in the realm, surely you're not this easily distracted."
Your face warms. The years you've dedicated to being the ideal princess, the heir's perfect daughter in hopes of preventing being a source of controversy in debates of your mother's claim cannot be taken away so easily. You can't compromise who you are now, not over something you barely understand. "I'm not distracted." The defense rings weak in your ears.
"Perfect," he hums, hand settling against your shoulder, "Then we shouldn't have an issue."
Aegon leans forward, his lips brushing against the exposed skin of your shoulder. Your stomach knots in a way that you do not comprehend. Confusion and hesitant curiosity are not enough to keep you from what you know. You stiffen, pulling back slightly. Your movements aren't a true rejection, but they're enough to indicate your surprise.
He's grinning. "We're still alone."
His easygoingness is infectious. You only manage to hold onto your frown for a few seconds before your smile is matching his own. "You're incorrigible." The words lack any malice.
Maybe in another life, another world in which your mother's status as heir could be easily accepted, things could have been different. A new wave of guilt crashes into you, this one less certain than the others. You're a traitor to your mother for caring about him, and a traitor to Aegon for wishing that you cared less.
"Keep trying, I'm sure you'll crack me eventually."
Your smile broadens. His presence is such a welcomed warmth, you're briefly overwhelmed by how happy you are that he's here, safe and in your presence. The feeling comes close to dislodging the worry from your chest. You lean into that. "I'm glad you're here."
Aegon's eyebrows draw together, his eyes searching yours. You're not sure what he's looking for in your expression, but he seems to find it because after a beat he's smiling again. "I should visit you during the day more often."
Your thumb slowly leafs through the edge of the book's pages. "No--I mean--yes, I'm glad you're here with me, but I'm also glad you're here, as in somewhere safe." You pause, the words attempting to stick to the back of your throat. "Where I know nothing bad is going to happen to you."
His silence digs at you. An expression of such concern, a reminder of your reality is a misstep you're not sure you can recover from. The nail of your thumb presses itself between the pages in front of you. "You worry about me?"
You blink. "Sometimes." Letting out a careful breath, you turn your head enough to look at him. "When I let myself think about life beyond King's Landing."
Aegon's expression is somber in a way that doesn't suit him. His hand reaches for yours. "Anyone would be a fool to attack us with Vhagar guarding the city." You let him squeeze your palm to his. "And as far as life beyond King's Landing, I have no intention to leave anytime soon. Not with everything worth my attention already within reach."
The comment is such a blatant attempt at flattery, you should be annoyed. Instead, you feel the corner of your mouth pull itself into a smile. "Worthy of your attention? I'm honored."
He eases at that, his thumb dragging itself across his knuckles. "What happened to being worried sick over me?"
You roll your eyes, but make no attempt to pull away. "You're exaggerating."
"I," he sighs, "Am mortally wounded."
You fight an instinctual grin, lips pressing together to keep your expression measured as you turn in your seat. Your eyes land on the stacks before you can look at Aegon. Some half thought out comment about his theatrics lodges itself in the back of your throat.
Standing where the shelves part, expression harsh in its blankness, is Alicent Hightower. You take your hand back as quickly as possible, spine straightening in an attempt to create as much distance as possible. Aegon's eyebrows pull together, but before he can ask, Alicent clears her throat.
He moves his arm back before angling himself forward. You force yourself to stare at book in front of you. How long has Alicent been standing there? Was she waiting to witness some kind of mistake or has she already seen one?
"Pardon me." She steps forward, her voice flat. "I did not mean to impose." Alicent glances at her son before allowing her stare to find you.
"There is no imposition." Aegon's voice is measured, his certainty in the casualness of the situation bleeding into each syllable. "I'm only here to show her a book."
Her eyebrows pinch together, "A book?"
The skepticism coating her words makes it nearly impossible to remain still. An uncomfortable warmth begins to crawl up your neck. "We were discussing it." The look she gives you is far from one that indicates any extent of belief. In all honesty, you can't even fault her for her suspicions. You clasp your hands beneath the table, keeping your expression as polite as possible as you hesitantly tack on her title, "Your Highness."
She watches you for another beat before turning her attention back to her eldest son. "Alright. Aegon, your brother is looking for you. Apparently, you were supposed to meet, but clearly, you lost track of time."
Aegon, still completely unbothered by his mother's surprise appearance, relaxes in his seat. "Meetings with Aemond are more rigorous than meetings with the entire Small Council, I apologize for not being eager to begin yet another conversation about Vhagar's uses."
Alicent's stare turns into something distinctly pointed and maternal. With that, Aegon stands. "I should not keep him waiting any longer." He rests a hand on the back of your chair. "Once you're finished here, maybe you should find Helaena. I'm sure she'd enjoy the company."
While enjoying Aegon's company may make you feel like a viper turning against her own blood, you're certain your mother would never have a problem with you spending time with Helaena. As children, you would often run through the gardens with her, listening diligently whenever she'd tell you about any creature that caught her eye.
Presently, she's been a constant beacon of positivity. Before you grew closer to Aegon, she'd often comfort you whenever worry and loneliness lunged at your heart. Even when you couldn't understand the phrases she'd speak to you, you could always tell that they were meant to be optimistic, the words usually implying something about a kinder future.
You nod. "Alright, I will."
With that, Aegon straightens. He offers you a final glance before walking forward. You watch as he disappears between the shelves, leaving you alone with his mother.
Alicent's presence has never been a simple thing to you. Even as a child, whenever you became the object of your grandsire's easily fleeting attention, Alicent's appearances often made you feel the need to put on a performance of sorts, like each casual question and polite smile was an attempt to find some flaw in you.
You're sure she'll either leave or give you an excuse to disappear after some passive aggressive comment masked behind a proper dismissal. You wait as casually as you can manage, your hands clasped together tightly beneath the table.
She straightens slightly, her hands coming together in front of her. "My son seems to have taken an interest in you." The sentence, though spoken much too factually to be an accusation, leaves you on edge. "And he rarely takes an interest in much."
The nail of your thumb digs into your hand. "I'm not sure I'd say he--"
"I know my children, I know the way Aegon is." Though jarring, the interruption is welcome. You weren't sure were you were going with your defense. "And as of late, he has been...different." She takes a breath. "I understand your mother has raised you with certain ambitions, expectations." Your expression hardens at that. "But you've always been an intelligent young woman, I'm sure at least a part of you understands our duty to the realm."
The sentiment is a reflection of the same placating speech you've witnessed others deliver to your mother again and again. Contrasting iterations of the same general warning--the men of the realm will never bend their knee to a woman. Those that remind your mother of this always choose to forget that those same men they're so worried about had once bent their knee to swear obeisance to her.
You've promised yourself that you'd get through your time in the Red Keep by remaining as neutral as possible. Your position is precarious enough without you adding to the fire. But this is an argument you've heard so many times before. "My mother intends to create a new order."
Alicent sighs before falling silent. When she finally speaks again, her words shock you, "Perhaps she will." Your surprise renders you incapable of responding. "Or perhaps Aegon's claim to the throne will be upheld. In all honesty, I do not know."
She takes a small step forward. Something behind her expression shifts, the stoic set of her features cracking enough to reveal something heavier. "But I do know how this will end for you. The men will fight, they will render their decision, and no matter who sits the Iron Throne, you will still have a royal womb."
Her eyes are wider, shinier than you've ever seen them. The expression makes her appear smaller. "No matter the order of things, a noble woman will still need to continue her family's line. A Targaryen woman, even more than most."
She blinks in an attempt to vanish whatever honesty had overtaken her. It doesn't work, the lingering somberness somehow making her appear younger, perhaps even similar to the version of her that had once been her mother's friend. The thought of her as a girl not much different than you, with dreams and friendships meant to last a lifetime built within the walls of the Red Keep, twists your stomach.
She had been around your age when she married your grandsire, hadn't she? You dismiss the thought, pressing your lips together. "Any match you are attempting to push me towards would only strengthen your family's claim to the throne."
"I won't insult you by pretending a union between you and Aegon wouldn't help unify dividing lines or that you have not already proven yourself a beneficial influence on him." Her voice feels flat.
Alicent's eyes find yours, but the longer you stare at her the less you see. "I am not speaking to you as a queen, or as a mother. I am speaking to you as a woman. There are fates much worse than wedding a man that cares for you."
She nods once, expression still unsettlingly vulnerable as she turns to leave. Alicent disappears behind the stacks, the even sound of her footsteps growing softer until you're completely alone again.
Once you're certain that she's beyond the library's threshold, you turn your attention back to the book in front of you. Alicent's words will mean nothing to you, you'll make sure of it.
----
Wide eyes stare up at you, their innocence adding a soft glow to violet irises. Jaehaerys blinks at you before stretching his arms out towards you.
The gesture is so simple, so familiar it's nearly dizzying. All of your brothers had been babes once, and now some of them are old enough to prepare to fight, to die. And the ones that are still small might grow up seeing you as a traitor and not the older sister that helped cradle them through fussy nights and cared for them.
"He wants you," Helaena says, her attention briefly shifting away from the little girl on her lap.
Her gentle prompting is enough to bring you back to the present. You nod, abandoning your own seat in favor of approaching the little prince. You bend down, carefully lifting Jaehaerys before settling him on your hip. He takes to you easily, smiling as his tiny fingers curl into the fabric of your dress's sleeve. The gesture is terribly heartwarming.
"He likes you," she hums, her voice soft as she smooths circles against Jaehaera's back. "That's a good thing. He's particular."
You cannot imagine him being difficult. "Oh, I don't know, he seems forgiving." You sway slightly, the repetitive movement something you vaguely remember your younger siblings liking. "It's been some time since I've seen my youngest brothers."
She presses her lips together in a sympathetic sort of smile. "The morning star takes its time reaching its place."
The phrase means very little to you, but the sentiment of it is clear enough. Something of patience, of things eventually falling into place. "It does."
Helaena smiles again, this time the look a little warmer.
You let your attention return to Jaehaerys. He's still content, one hand holding onto you and the other gripping a wooden toy. "Do you like it?" You're not sure what shocks you more, your words or how much you mean them. "Motherhood..." Your mind forces out the second part of your question without your permission, "Marriage?"
Her lips part, but before she can say anything, the doors behind her creak open. Your hold on Jaehaerys tightens as you turn your head.
The doors are still parted when your eyes lock. You look away from Aegon immediately, focus falling to the babe on your hip. He continues forward, greeting you both before stopping a few paces behind Helaena's seat.
His gaze finds you again, this time his eyes expressing a familiarity you cannot bring yourself to reciprocate. "You're with the twins." Aegon steps past his sister's chair, turning himself towards her. "Helaena, do you need the princess's assistance, or can I steal her from you?"
She straightens slightly, "You can have her. Alyce will be here soon to help put the children to bed."
Your eyebrows draw together skeptically. Why ask Helaena before asking you? "Steal me?" You smooth a hand against Jaehaerys's back. "For what?"
"Every day I hear complaints about Eveningstar."
Your eyes narrow. Of course Eveningstar is acting out. She is being kept farther from you than she has ever been, she has not gotten to fly for some time, and she misses her home. You've been told before that your dragon is complicated, some have even called her spoiled, but you will not tolerate true criticisms of her. "She is under stress and kept in a stable I am not allowed to visit all day and night, of course she's growing restless."
The corner of Aegon's mouth pulls itself upwards. "I know." You blink, unsure where he's going with this. "I also know that she prefers to fly beneath the moon."
You blink. The easy cadence, the grin struggling to not overtake his expression, the way he's watching you. All of it seems to imply something that you've never let yourself hope for. No matter how much favor Aegon has shown you, you've never been offered a chance to see Eveningstar let alone fly her.
"I--I'm not--" The thought of your girl being within reach is almost overwhelmingly wonderful.
You try to focus on the reality of the situation. Technically, you're hostage of war, it'd be impossible to justify letting you near your dragon. It's also late, meaning that being seen alone with Aegon is a danger in its own right. Still, the thought of getting to be with Eveningstar... "Really?"
Aegon gives into his smile, "I'll meet you in an hour."
----
a/n this got really long so i'm splitting it into a third part (and maybe more bc i have a whole expanded arch idea so if this turns into a series that was completely accidental 😭)
Taglist: @thesleepwalker @6ofdreamers @torchbearerkyle @hajimeiwaswife
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firewasabeast · 3 months ago
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The Only Exception
Had to write a little fic from Tommy's perspective based off of The Only Exception by Paramore. Read below or on ao3!
For so long, love felt to Tommy like wearing a turtleneck on a summer day. It was uncomfortable. Itchy, sweaty, and no matter how much you tugged it away from your neck it came right back to choke you again.
That was the type of love he'd grown up with. A love that was never truly love at all.
A father who failed more often than he succeeded. Who cheated and lied and spewed words of hatred. Who treated him like gum on the bottom of his shoe. Who treated his mom even worse.
And his mom would get sick of it. She'd say she was done. She'd cry and yell and pack her bags- only her bags- and she'd look Tommy straight in the eyes and tell him, “This is what love looks like, Thomas, this is all it is.”
During those times, Tommy's dad would beg and plead for her to stay. He couldn't make it through life without her, he didn't know what he'd do if she left, he was nothing without her, she was nothing without him.
He'd wipe away her tears and take her suitcase from her hand and lead her back to the bedroom. Tommy would make himself a bowl of cereal, sit on the couch, watch cartoons until after the sun had set, then he'd tuck himself into bed.
Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
When he got older and left for the army, there wasn't really time for love. There was time for quickies in secret hookup spots around base. There was time to learn more about himself than he dared speak about. There was time to get close to a guy who laughed in his face when Tommy told him that maybe one day they could leave the military and get a place together.
You're living in a fantasy world, Kinard, so here's some reality. Guys like us weren't made to be loved.
He was young and naive then.
He learned to grow up quickly.
He tried love after he first became a firefighter. But love was closing his eyes and imagining someone else when he was intimate with her. It was taking extra shifts at work so he had an excuse not to invite her over. It was telling her he had to sleep alone because he had nightmares.
It was unfair to them both.
It wasn't love.
Because love doesn't exist.
Tommy learned to be comfortable with being alone. Learned to keep himself busy with hobbies so he was content when he walked into his empty house.
Learned to enjoy another man's touch for a night, and be gone long before the sun rose.
Learned to fake girlfriends at work, be the guy who has someone new every other month. Let everyone call him a player because that was better than any other word they'd use if they knew the truth.
Love doesn't exist. Not for someone like me.
Even at Harbor, once he decided to be honest with himself and the people around him, love felt like an illusion.
There was the guy who was still deep in the closet, who didn't even want to look at Tommy when they were in bed together.
Then the guy who paraded him around and let everyone, including his ex-boyfriend, know he was with a firefighter.
The guy who in the end said he only asked him out because Tommy saved his life and he felt he owed him that much.
Just stop trying.
That's what he did. He stayed in his bubble of work, hobbies, home.
Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
Every day the same.
Then he got a phone call from someone he hadn't heard from in a while.
And he literally owed his life to this guy, so of course he said yes to the most insane plan he'd ever heard.
Then suddenly he was meeting two new guys that had joined the 118 after he left. He was reconnecting with Hen, he was getting texts from Howie, he was gaining a new friend in Eddie, and he had plans to teach this Evan how to fly.
Evan with a beautiful smile and a hot body and the most adorable personality he'd ever seen.
He needed to keep his distance, because he didn't know Evan very well and he could be reading this all wrong.
Which, apparently he was, because Evan seemed to hate him and the last thing he needed was for this overall sweet guy with beautiful eyes to hate him.
He needed to do something to fix it. Needed to make things right so he didn't lose this friendship that hadn't even had a chance to begin.
So, he went to Evan's place and...
Oh.
It's funny how a person can really change your perspective of things.
Maybe the only time love doesn't last is when it's not meant to. Maybe there are exceptions. And maybe it'll find you when you least expect it. Maybe it'll find you in the loft of an apartment you've never been in before. Or during a messy first date that could've ended better on both ends.
Maybe love is an attempt to get your coffee order right when you've never even discussed whether or not you like coffee.
Or it's an insane ask to be a date to a wedding, because even though you barely know each other his family wants to meet you. He's talked about you to them.
It's found in a hug at a bachelor party, or in a “be safe” when you're going into work.
Maybe love is a kiss at the entrance of a hospital. So unexpected you can't help but vocalize your surprise.
Maybe it's not caring if you have evidence of a make-out session all over your face because you like this guy and you don't care who knows it.
Or maybe it's being there when someone from your past pops up and you can't quite vocalize how you feel.
Love is a late night dinner after a bad day where you can express your worries and discuss parental trauma. Love is knowing when to turn the conversation on its heels and flirt because life's been too serious lately and sometimes you need a reason to smile.
Love is found in the person you lean on when you're upset or angry. It's who you go to with your tears, whether they're from sadness or rage.
It's learning each other's flaws and not running away. It's learning to love their mess, all of their imperfections, and sticking it out because they're worth it.
It's a heated argument that no one wins and you forget what started it in the first place. It's in not giving a reason to pack your bags and threaten to leave, but in hashing it out because the person is worth staying for.
It's in honesty and thinking before you speak and being faithful.
It's in a hospital room after an injury that almost takes your life. It's when you open your eyes and your person is seated beside you looking worse than you do because they haven't slept in three days.
Love is cooking dinner together, and laughing so hard that soda shoots out your nose because only one of you knows how to follow a recipe.
Love is running to you when you show up at their station unannounced because they forgot their lunch in your fridge.
It's a kiss in the middle of a station that once held your biggest insecurities hostage. It's a hand on your back leading you up the stairs because everyone will want to see you.
Love is a gasp and a plead for more. A whisper that it's never felt like this before. It's strong arms gripping your back, wanting to feel you, wanting to kiss you, wanting to see you.
Love is holding you close until you fall asleep, until the sun rises, and even long after that.
Love is breaking through every rule you've made for yourself without even realizing it. Breaking down each and every barrier you've put in your own way and doing it with such grace and care that it brings tears to your eyes if you think about it too much.
Love is the person lying beside you right now, snoring so loudly you can't sleep, but you don't even care. You watch them, place a hand over their chest to feel their heartbeat because sometimes you wonder if they truly exist.
Love is curling into your touch, smacking their lips as they tug you closer and resume snoring right in your ear.
Love is here.
Love is present.
Love is real.
Love is Evan.
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doliacuddles · 5 months ago
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SHADOWS OF A MARRIAGE.
𝖢𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖽𝗁𝗈𝗈𝖽 𝖬𝖾𝗆𝗈𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗌.
𝖧𝗎𝗆𝖺𝗇! 𝖠𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍𝗈𝗋 𝗑 𝖱𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋
01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10
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❝In our gazes lie the secrets of a love that never had its chance, trapped in a silence that screams the tragedy of what could have been and never was.❞
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𝖸𝖾𝖺𝗋 1905.
The day had been endless and monotonous. With your parents absorbed in their work, they had allowed you to explore the neighborhood as you pleased. However, your curiosity led you too far, deep into the mysterious nearby forest. Soon, you realized you were lost. Desperation began to grow within you, and before you could react, tears started rolling down your cheeks.
Sitting on a fallen log, you hugged your knees and cried, fear and loneliness invading your heart. It was then that you heard the crunching of branches and dry leaves. Looking up, you saw a boy of about seven years old, with a curious and concerned expression on his face.
"Are you okay?" he asked in a soft and comforting voice, approaching cautiously.
You shook your head, unable to stop the tears. "I'm lost… I don't know how to get back home."
The boy smiled, a gesture radiating warmth and reassurance. "Don't worry, I'll help you. I live near here and know the forest well."
He offered you his hand and, although you hesitated for a moment, his sincere and kind expression convinced you. You took his hand and stood up, feeling an immediate relief from not being alone.
"My name is Alastor," he said as you walked together through the forest, taking the initiative to guide you along the path.
You told him your name, feeling the fear slowly start to fade away.
Alastor kept a light conversation during the walk, telling you about the different trees and animals he knew. His childish joy and enthusiasm for nature were contagious, and soon you found yourself smiling and joining in the conversation. Alastor had an innate ability to make you feel safe and comfortable despite the situation.
After what seemed like only a short walk, you reached the edge of the forest, where the neighborhood houses were visible. Alastor led you to one of the larger houses, where a kind and warm-faced woman greeted you at the door.
"Alastor! Where have you been?" the woman exclaimed, worried, but her expression softened when she saw you. "And who is your little friend?"
"She was lost in the forest, so I helped her find her way back," Alastor explained proudly.
Alastor's mother welcomed you with a warm smile and invited you in, offering you something to drink and calming you with her kindness. Shortly after, your parents, who had been frantically searching for you for hours, arrived and, with tears of relief, profusely thanked Alastor's mother and him for helping you.
From that day on, the two families became close. You spent a lot of time with Alastor, exploring the neighborhood and sharing moments of childhood joy. As you grew, the friendship strengthened, and although life separated you when Alastor moved away, the bond never fully broke.
You moved with your parents to New Orleans, where you reunited with Alastor and his mother. The joy of the reunion was immense, and your parents, seeing that the childhood friendship remained intact, began to plan the marriage, believing it would be a happy and lasting union.
𝖠 𝖻𝗅𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝖽 𝖽𝖺𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗍𝖾𝗋.
.
The reality of your married life turned out to be very different from what you had imagined. Alastor, the childhood friend who had once been your comfort and joy, had transformed into a distant and cold man.
The move to New Orleans, which was supposed to be an opportunity to revitalize your friendship and deepen your connection, only revealed the cracks and distances that time had created.
Silent dinners, lonely nights, and Alastor's indifference became a painful reality that strongly contrasted with childhood memories. In those moments of solitude, you found yourself reflecting on how such a promising friendship had turned into such a desolate union. You wondered if you could ever recover the Alastor who had rescued you in the forest, that kind and loving boy who now seemed like a stranger.
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Intellectual property of @doliacuddles.
𝖳𝖺𝗀𝗌; @catticora @verosikavibes @seraphiccharlie
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