#images are a pain sometimes
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I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#wei wuxian#wen qing#jiang cheng#Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile.#This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature.#But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly'#My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out.#Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth.#I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity-#-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly.#Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose.#You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok#Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards.#Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever.#To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss.#Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'.#described in alt text#I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day
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#art#my art#fuzzy au#blood#Idk how many of you know that the whiskers on a cat are also expressive of pain#if theyâre all puffed up like that and also combined with the floppy ears it means that itâs going through so much pain#and sometimes itâs not physical pain#actually idk if this is vent art lol Iâm js feeling a bit down now but I just had this image in my head all day
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Cregan cradling their first child, singing softly to the babe as midwives swarm around the room, tending to Jace.
He has fallen into slumber, they tell him. It is not likely his husband will wake up.
Memories of similar words wrap around his neck and tug at his heart. Arra had gone just the same, years before.
Cregan could see her eyes in Jace's, mixed with the eyes of his brother as he died as well. Death so common to him now, it felt like an unwanted relative. Did it have to visit so often? Did it have to take so much?
"Eyron," Jace said, softly and so, so tired. "Promise me," he whispered but fell quiet before he could continue, hand going limp on his own. Cregan was beyond words at his husband's paling face. He kissed him softly on the forehead.
His prince was burning still.
He took his son from the wet nurse. He was big, like his brother was when he was born, and warm against his chest. Cregan brushed the little wisps of brown hair aside. Eyron had good lungs if his cries meant anything, but he quieted down as Cregan held him.
"It's fine, it's all fine, stop crying now," he whispered only for his child to hear. "Your father needs rest now, you need to quiet." He ran one big finger against the babe's nose. Letting a lullaby he used to sing to Rickon pass throguh his lips softly.
It was about a knight, going home to his spouse, and reuniting with his love. Cregan's voice didn't falter once as he held his second son. Jace's first.
Even when they shared the same coloring in their features, The Wolf of the North swore, Eyron had Jacaerys' eyes.
#jacegan#jacaerys velaryon#JACE IS NOT DEAD#he wakes up after a few days and they get to be a happy family i swear#cregan stark#or anything that makes it able for them to have a child together#this is omegaverse in my head#it doesnt have to be omegaverse#I just saw the image of Cregan holding their babe while jace is asleep after the brith and it holds so much pain and fear and hope#childbirth can be so daunting sometimes everything could go wrong much more in fantasy worlds like these
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horizon zero dawn (remastered) | striders
#horizon zero dawn#hzd#strider#hzd strider#hzd machines#horsies :)#i don't remember hzd's photomode's dof being such a pain in the ass but since i can still play the og i see that's how it's always been#idk it just feels too âblurâ-y sometimes#hfw's is much more realistic...#but anyway. horsies. they're cute <3#horizon zero dawn remastered#hzdr#hzd pc#(tumblr seemed to have a real issue with one of these images so i hope they all uploaded correctly lol)
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I'm so normal about these two (I'm not)
The ref comes from here
(psst: you can find the nsfw version here đ)
#happy pride month from these fuckers (affectionate)#i drew shart's hair to reflect where they are rn in candor's playthrough#it felt weird drawing her w/ white hair (even though im planning on the selune route for her) b/c she doesnt have it yet#candor is a terminal hopeless romantic and i love that for him#its been kinda funny working on the shadow curse quest b/c he's usually helpful but also kind-of a pain in the ass about it#but halsin asks him to do something and its like 'yes sir do you want anything else while im out? đ«Ąđ„ș'#im excited to have him in the party finally. sometimes found family is a throuple and one (1) githyanki#bg3#my art#bg3 art#bg3 fanart#bg3 tav#bg3pride#candor delmar#nightingales#shadowheart#shadowheart x tav#bg3 tiefling#tiefling bard#bg3 bard#trans oc#queer artist#commissions open#digital art#redraw meme#my post#art meme#ship meme#ship art#image id in alt text
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thinking about how slay it is that, though misao is bisexual, she has a heavy lean towards women and so for pride month... misao is gonna be rocking the colors of the sapphic pride flag whenever she can đ©·đ€đ because misao just loves women so much okok. and she has only really been in love with one man throughout her time on earth thus far, so they pretty much have misao's whole heart
#ALL POWER DEMANDS PAIN AND SACRIFICE: musings.#i mayyy talk about that man sometime soon but i'm not entirely sure when. though anyhow HAPPY PRIDE MONTH Y'ALL!! WOOHOO#just the mere image of misao being happy to just chill with her partner that may or may not have a purple color scheme-#to it and is kind of majestic because it is also ABSOLUTELY one of those beds that has a canopy to it is so precious to me TBH đ„ș
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reading about gentle parenting makes me feel insane. who has this limitless well of emotional energy to offer to their child. also you know that 99% of that emotional management stuff is going to end up being the momâs burden to bear
#my big issues with my own upbringing were that there was too much unvoiced shame & fear of what others thought of us#which seeped into parent/child interactions in sometimes painful ways#and also my momâs anxiety which made us all feel responsible for protecting her from anything that might upset her#but just in terms of the day to day household management stuff#I think my parents did a great job of being very loving/warm/involved#and giving us a fair amount of freedom#but also having very firm boundaries that you did not cross#I always knew exactly what was and wasnât okay#and I knew what the consequences were for crossing a line#they said no to us regularly and we all lived#and all four of us are super stable adults with I think good values + good emotional self-regulation skills + good relationships/friendships#idk. I want to like#hold in mind that there are many many many possible routes to the same outcome (raising kind self sufficient kids who have#loving relationships and integrity and a positive self-image)#but gentle parenting really grinds my gears for some reason#i think itâs also because I see firsthand how bad helicopter and snowplow parenting are for kids through my job#and gentle parenting to me is like#the emotional version of that#itâs exhausting for everyone involved and it makes the kid feel simultaneously#totally helpless & like the absolute center of the universe#parenting tag
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his expression in the manga is soooo like it's actually killing me.....
#the Pain and anguish and relief oh my god#i get that anime can sometimes look a bit flat and also the black and white of manga makes for a more stark and sharp image but#i wish they captured that expression in its entirety it's heart wrenching
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r/v + loneliness.
102 / Daphne du Maurier, Rebecca, ch. 4 / 4 / 8 / Art Wallace, Shadows on the Wall / 603 / Daphne du Maurier, Rebecca, ch 4. / 473 / Richard Sherman, Demo: "Lovely, Lonely Man/Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Finale" / 2
#†roger collins & victoria winters. â pain sometimes precedes pleasureïŒmiss winters.#†edits & art. â the evans cottage art gallery.#compilation tag#idk I have just been Thinking about this since that gifset lol.#âIâll blame it on youââ she says â because you are the one who has brought me hereâ she thinks#because she seems to anticipate even in their first meeting that she will play Eyre and he Rochester.#there had better be many more such tĂȘte-Ă -tĂȘteâs on the cliff side or sheâll be terribly disappointed !#[and not only cliffside proselytizing: barging into her room at all hoursâ chasing her around townâ dragging her bodily into the drawing#roomâ andâ occasionally on a good dayâ an actual genuine date or a meal sometime.]#Roger has ââ in theory ââ everything that she wants. a familyâ a homeâ a wife and childâ history and ancestry! boy does he have that!#and yet he is terribly terribly alone in this well he has poisoned.#(from whichâ I might addâ vicki drinks greedily.)#''What do you want out of life?'' when he's already achieved (or so it appears on the outside) the midcentury blazon of success:#a familyâ a well-to-do office position at which he really does nothingâ a succession of american-made sports cars.#he may be separated from his wife but togetherâ he and elizbeth and david and carolyn form a mimetic image of the nuclear family.#to which vicki is desperate to grasp ontoâ even in its most nightmarish formâ whether or not she realizes that's why she stays.#but what does he want? he wants the same thing she wants. love and companionship. (that he hasn't yet ruined. that he can't stop ruining.)#she may not precisely understand his type of loneliness but she knows about loneliness among people. she's lived it.#and she knows too about ... a visceral loneliness pushing you to push people even further away (as in the childhood story she tells david).#so she sees through his fronts a lot of the timeâ whether they be a layer of charmâ or terror. and boy does he hate that. being seen for#something real. where his actions matter and produce consequences. where feeling is real â good or bad.#the little governess and her capacity to find shadows to throw light on! whether they be locked chambers in the basement or the atria.
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Found this really cool old guide into scanning (and cleaning!) manga panels that I thought could be of interest on here :) its from 2008 and is SO helpful. covers stuff like font choices, duplicating patterns from areas, cleaning up scans etc. some of it is a bit outdated (in terms of like. using photoshop from 2008) but i found it very helpful :)
#twist rambles#i dont like. edit manga regularly or am part of any scanlation group BUT. its helpful for me coloring bc good god sometimes the copying is#PAIN. and finding smth this old is really cool :) just click the image on the link to get started w it. sadly ops scan group is defunct now
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typology arguments are honestly a good writing exercise because everyone on that app is going to jump to your throat and try to kill you if you write something they slightly disagree with, and in order to express your opinions while managing to avoid it, you have to master talking absolute shit like no one has before. we're literally talking about a pseudoscience but as long as you quote carl jung, pretend you know what you're talking about and formulate yourself in a fancy way you've won
#not to mention that if you wanna type a character you have to analyze them in order to correlate them with a ttyp#and that's a bit of a pain sometimes#For example uh#Imma say tamaki ohshc because im writing an argument on him but like#i feel like sx7 isn't nearly as plausible as sx3 for him because sx7 is infantuated by abstract ideals#not to mention that e7 doesn't really care about social status because their only objective is to explore more and have more (gluttony)#With an almost asocial attitude#+ sx7 is the most openly gluttonous reactive type it's compared to sx4 and sx8#also sx7 ideals tend to be something above status#something extraordinary above terrenal pleasures#without focus on the real world#What im saying is that#tamakis not gluttonous at All he is fixated on a role he constructed in order to satisfy a necessity of validation and confirm his attracti#-veness which is projected on an ideal image based on his wishes from a social slash cultural perspective#Role being the king of the host club stuff#The ideal he chases is something terrenal and he is extremely dependent on social status#you can see him VISIBILY upset/sad when someone doesn't recognize him as the king#and then he tries to act even more attractive to be worthy of the title#the image he gives is based on tangible objective and real standards he constantly tries to adapt to#he NEEDS to feel desired. which discards e2 as 2s have a stupid exaggerated self perception of their self esteem and attractiveness#typology#mine#unreality#just in case. pdbers do not jump at your throat
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My dad saying everyone in this house could stand to just not eat for a couple days is living rent-free in my head still
*sigh*
#personal#vent#tw eating issues#tw body dysmorphia#holy fucking shit man#sometimes i wonder why i have such a hard time with my self-image and then he says some unhinged shit like this and im like#'oh yeah thats why'#yes were all overweight nobody's not aware of that fact#and your take is 'oh well let's just stop eating for a bit'#as if the reason we're all like this isn't a fucking eternal binge-restrict cycle???#as if the long-term health complications of not eating for a while are somehow less bad than the risks of obesity?#as if one person in this house isnt literally fucking bed-bound and ends up in a lot of pain just from going up the stairs?#hes gotten better about a lot of things since i moved back home but goddamn his diet opinions have gotten worse not better#im not even mad for myself at this point im mad for everyone else who isn't going to question his harmful ass takes and internalize it#fucking hell
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Was having a good day after that HCQ stream but Iâm :âD
#having a really bad flare up today#the pain is so bad#it scares me#it scares me so much#i just hope i can walk fine on my own tomorrow#if i cant#i dunno how ill be able to go to work#i probably will bc i have my meds when i get like this i can still end up walking#but it scares me so much still#bc what if its just one of those random times that i get it that suddenly i have to go back to the doctor#i hate thiss#im glad to be getting treatment but it takes forever to get it and its so goddamn expensive#i dont even have a proper diagnosis yet#just some bloodwork and imaging as i wait for an appointment#and i still need to see if i can be tested for eds too if theres a genetic clinic somewhere#sorry to vent here a bit just having a very hard time#i hate my body sometimes#for many reasons but partially for the pain#i just turned 19 last month#i shouldnt be stuck in my bed unable to sleep bc of pain so unbearable#when i havent even injured myself its just the way my body is#chronic pain is a bitch
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i have found a font, started hunting for images, was reminded that the uae website literally does not use a font that has Ä in its database. just another day i guess
#sometimes when im really desperate for hq images i go to the team websites#and sometimes i even find good images. not today. today its only pain#im fine with reading a wildly different font midway through word but im questioning at which point this becomes an accessibility issue#might look into it and get angry some day. who knows#erika.txt
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I know we keep talking about it but Iâm still so uneasy at the potential thought that Taylor was so worried about the impact she had on her loved ones that she sliced off parts of her self bit by bit (first publicly and later privately) out of love for her partner to give him the security she thought he craved and in return probably assumed she would receive his unconditional support to create and grow and love at home to strike a balance that would work for both of them. But instead it seems that when she was the one who needed support and compassion, she was met with silence, and ultimately for every inch she gave the person took a mile and ran until she had nothing left to give đ”âđ«
#wrote this in the middle of the night and hurt my own feelings#Iâm so proud of her for sticking up for herself#but sometimes it baffles me how much was happening behind the scenes#that the entire public image we had of them was wrong for so long#like Iâm not being parasocial or whatever#more like detached observation as a pop culture consumer#âI know my pain is such an impositionâ is sooooooooooooo#and has lived rent free in my mind since last spring#anyway ttpd is gonna fuck
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#;ooc#ooc#the pain of making icons is that i can never figure out which size to do and i rarely ever save the unedited icon itself#LIKE!! u never know when tunglr will change its image formatting; like i remember my 100x100 icons used to work just fine#but then with an update; they looked bigger and its perfectly fine to have them as 100x100 but -i- wanted mine to be a bit smaller#WHAT IF THAT HAPPENS AGAIN-#i mean the solution is to add transparent space and fill up the width but im too lazy sometimes
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