#im worried about how it will be told

[bookshelfdreams]

Once again, as it so often is with ofmd, it is about violence.

Ed is capable of violence and it makes him feel monstrous. Killing his father was a defining moment in his life, something that became a core memory: The darkest, scariest part of himself, but also one that has protected him and been immensely useful. No matter how much he hurts himself with it, how much it chips away at his soul, he's willing and able to do horrible things. This is the price we pay for violence: When you kill, you die as well.

When he met Stede, a man he thinks is fundamentally incapable of the kind of violence that's slowly destroying Ed, it gave him hope that he, too, could move beyond it. That a life full of comfortable and beautiful things was not only possible but attainable; if Stede can sail the seas with his ridiculous toy ship full of books and soft fabrics, have a positive culture of open communication and constructive feedback, then fuck it, why can't he?

To him, Stede's incapability for violence is a positive thing; it might be Stede's greatest strength. But what Ed doesn't realize is that Stede's life, too has been profoundly shaped by violence, how intimately he is acquainted with it - from the other side. Stede has only ever been a victim of violence. Where the moments that replay in Ed's head (the lovely little motage at the beginning of 02x06 for example) are moments where he enacts violence, the moments that define Stede are ones where violence is done to him. We see him splattered with blood, picking flowers: we know what follows is humiliation, verbal and physical abuse, that Stede was unable to protect himself from.

So of course, to Stede, his lack of talent for violence becomes a character flaw. Something that makes him weak, pathetic, cowardly. When he finally learns how to wield violence, how to use it to protect himself and others, it's empowering. He revels in it, the small moments (I did a punch!) and the bigger ones. For the first time in all his life, he's not a victim anymore.

Ed does not know this about Stede. To him, Stede is fragile, someone not yet tainted by violence the way he is. Ed feels protective of Stede, and it's that perceived innocence that I think is a big part of it. All he sees is Stede descending down a path of violence and piracy he has walked already and cannot go down again; the last time he did, it literally made him suicidal. He can't follow, and he can't watch Stede destroy himself the way Ed did, either.

So he leaves.

And Stede, who feels like he has finally grown into a better, more capable version of himself, someone who is able to see hurt and fight back against it for once, doesn't understand this at all.

Both these viewpoints are ones that ofmd wants to validate: Violence is a terrible beast that will eat you whole and spit out your bones AND Violence is sometimes necessary, and even good. It's a delicate balance to keep, and 02x07 doesn't quite manage to do so. But despite the awkwardness, the bones are still there; we end on Roach and Fang (two characters very capable of and good at violence!) having their cute little self-care spa day. This is the future ofmd wants us to believe in: a world where we can chose care and tenderness over battles.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

sequel to this ramble cause the way james talks bout the reduced cherik scenes throughout the xmen films in this video is making me want to kill people. 'we'll always have paris darling' what if we all blew up.

[counting-stars-gayly]

So Luke was what Percy failed to save in the end, right? He was what mattered most? I’m gonna kill myself

[beegswaz]

holy shit Scuffed atlas art? real???? you cant even See the top of the hat but Once i make a finalised Design itll look Kinda like the ones in the Images :3

[moeblob]

You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)

[thebirdandhersong]

Lol

[smokbeast]

Seeing allot of trans stuff lately. I don't do this but obviously trans people and all people of LGBTQ+ are welcome here!! If you are a terf or sick mf I will stomp on you till you die you are not welcome here.

Also merlot, frak and soma are trans! Allot of my ocs are of the queer skellies and my goobies alike so hehe :]

[shadystranger]

the switch from worry for sam to appealing.. oh he knows how to fuck him up so perfectly tailored for him

[delta-piscium]

time and time again i’ve been proven wrong yet i continue to live under the false assumption that everyone shares my same references and time and time again i have suffered for it (casually mentioned miku binder thomas jefferson to my brother, then in depth explained miku binder thomas jefferson to my brother)

[absolutelyzoned]

i NEED to yap about personal shit i gotta get it out there somewhere

[triglycercule]

What do you think the types of drunk would the murder trio be? Im pretty sure ask dusttale already answered this question about dust but i have to ask the mtt expert

see now askdusttale DID answer the question. but they didn't ANSWER the question when asked what dust is like drunk. they just said that dust is the type to drink himself blackout drunk. so that mean i have total freedom on deciding what the mtt are like drunk hehehe (rubs hands together in a villanous way that you would imagine nightmare doing or something idk)

i already have an absolutely hilarious idea for horror and it might just because i'm on the guilt section of his character analysis but i could TOTALLY imagine him being an emotional drunk. like he CRIES. horror sans man known for being incredibly guarded and private with what he feels bawling his eye out. he gets mad he gets sad he does not get happy because horror doesn't have the right to be happy. he is too upset over the fact that he fucking DOOMED all of horrortale because of his selfishness and nothing can stop him from being incredibly vocal about that fact so much so that killer had to tape his mouth shut because he wouldn't stop crying so loud. and then he just silently cries until he passes out from exhaustion. the alcohol has an incredibly strong effect on him because i dont think he would drink regularly plus he definitely hasnt drinken anything in those 7 years of starvation. it hits like a fucking plane crashing into him. or like getting his eye taken out again. either one!

another funny idea i had for killer would be like the alcohol affecting him but he SWEARS that he's still sober. he is very confused when he starts stumbling because wtf he doesnt FEEL drunk??? why is he bumping into walls and tables HELP WHY DOES HE SOUND FUCKING STUPID???? the alcohol is definitely effecting him but he swears he swears he doesn't feel drunk. hes not drunk its just the damn body doing this stupid bullshit!!!! he's still very aware of what's going on and is basically the same as sober but just like. he's wiggly he's wobbly and oh shit he just fell head face first into a tv whoops. he'd also have a high tolerance because just because. he can drink without feeling like shit until he just blacks out mid conversation with someone because his body couldn't take the toll of all the beer or whatever. hilarious idea triglycercule thank you triglycercule i know

dust in the context that we already know that he drinks AND he can fight against the human while like partially drunk.... i feel it would be kinda like a giggly drunk situation. except dust doesn't laugh at anything that's funny he only laughs when someone gets hurt or something. SADISTIC giggly drunk. because i can already imagine a half drunk dust laughing his ass off after killing the human and its a beautiful sight to me.

anyways imagine how it goes when you pair this sadistic giggly drunk with another that wont stop going through the 5 stages of grief and another that keeps on fucking falling over for no reason in his eyes. dream blunt rotation but the blunt is a bottle of vodka. i can already imagine it in my head and its fucking HILARIOUS. horror going on about how he caused the deaths of others and manipulated and tricked papyrus while killer is just trying his best to keep his eyes open because for some reason they won't stop trying to close. he is surprisingly getting frustated. dust has long since lost his voice laughing at this and he's just silent wheezing at everything. also phantom papyrus is only making the laughter worse because he keeps on making rude comments towards horror and killer and only he can hear him and its guffaw inducing. mtt amazing friend group you dont get shit like this anywhere else

[kitteecassee]

♡⁠

[gemharvest]

Hate thissss I feel like I haven't been properly productive today (somehow posting two art things Doesn't register properly in my mind) so I wanna stay up to get as much as I can down, but I also need to go to sleep in case I'm called in tomorrow because fuuuuuck going to work on little sleep that shit sucks. But also, the possibility of being called in makes me wanna stay up even more, so I can finish art in case I don't have time tomorrow. So now I'm sat up at 12:30 tired as shit but unable to draw or go to bed. The never-ending cycle of hell.

[snowflake-sage]

I want to speak, I want to scream, but all that comes out is blood, and it will stain your clothes and your hands and everything will be stained and dirty and tainted and you'll never look at me the same for I would have turned your pure white into an angry  crimson

You will look at me and you'll see me cut open and bare and you'll see how much pain this heavy heart carries and you won't be surprised by the crimson that pours out my mouth instead of screams but it would have still turned your clothes and hands the color of pain and I don't know if you could forgive me for existing in this way

I don't want to exist in this way

In the way where everything I touch stains red

[sleepymccoy]

Hey sleepy! I liked your reply about your job and the questions you need to think about wording. I saw something in your tags and wanted to provide my experience if that's ok? I don't know how valuable it is to share, and it may be the case that you already know or have considered this, so, to be taken or left at will :)

You say you see a lot of autistic people on tumblr having strong negative reactions to normal interactions, which can be a bit confusing. And it's true! They are normal and polite, and to some extent necessary. What I want to say is this : I am autistic, and growing up I struggled a lot with these subtle questions. I did get a lot better at this with practice, and conscious effort - I am 30 years old now, and my interactions are easier to navigate, even if I still regularly run into the same problems I used to. This makes me have complicated interactions with people, but complicated is just part of life, and most people are quite helpful I find.

Where I think the problem still lies for me, and where this anger might be coming from when people complain about this online, is that people quite regularly still get angry or upset with me when I don't answer properly or seem like I don't understand something easy. I mean like colleagues at work, where we range from 30 to 55 years of age.

There is a difference between your work and mine, question wise, I think : my colleagues don't know I'm autistic, while you know your patients have dementia. They think I'm a bit weird (this has been communicated to me lol), but no more. It may be that you simply don't interpret them as rude, because you know they're not trying to be, while people regularly interpret my behavior this way - rude, lazy, stupid, what have you. In my life I am finding people to not always be very patient when I don't follow the expected script. Many people are!! Most people are. And we go back and forth asking more questions to figure out what we're talking about, and sometimes I can feel that they are finding this a bit funny, but it works out in the end. But the angry and upset ones weigh heavy, and when I was a child many more people felt comfortable, I think, being angry with me. It took a lot of time to unlearn that I could get punished for asking follow up or clarifying questions for simple conversations.

I think, in short, that the autistic people you see complain about this have learned to be afraid. If they are young, or surrounded by less patient people, people might be getting angry at them often, or it may be recent in their life that they did get angry.

(It may also be that they have been trying to learn how to navigate these for a while, and it just won't work! It can be very hard to tell what went wrong in a given interaction and it's easy to leave it with the wrong conclusion. Working on this was a very frustrating process. But this is, I think, another subject.)

Thank you for your patience with my many many words, and please have a good day :)

Hey thank you!!

Especially thank you cos I was a bit nervous rambling like that cos I definitely don't want to try and take away from autistic people's experiences, or put myself in a place where I shouldn't be. I fully get that a lot of tumblr stuff is people not looking for solutions and just venting about their life (that's healthy! You need a space for that!) so I don't wanna step in all defensive and explanatory when someone's just had a particularly shit day. I'm very pleased you read it (long as it was) and didn't come away offended ❤️

I expect I do have quite different experiences, one (obviously) because I'm not autistic. The other being I work in a place that pretty much requires abnormal patience to be able to do the job. This job also is hugely culturally diverse and the style of communication in the break room is plain and simple English and trying to reword sentences quickly and blamelessly because confusion is presumed to be a cultural mishmash or struggle with english. There are definitely neurodiverse staff who I work with (some have told me, some just struggle beyond a language barrier) but it isn't much of an issue cos of the culture we've built. This probably puts me on a back foot cos it seems so easy to me to chat to everyone I meet, just by code switching slightly as needed. That's basic politeness

So yeah, if there's fucking adult professionals in the world not approaching colleagues with politeness and generosity, you'll have some bad times. I've had them at prior workplaces, bullies are cunts

There are of course a lot of differences between people living with dementia and autistic people, but I admit I hadn't thought of my awareness of their diagnosis! You're totally right, and being aware of someone's needs does change my behaviour.

I agree with you that it seems like people have learnt to be afraid of conversations. I think that's very sad, cos most conversations are harmless and fun.

The bit I see on tumblr that bothers me most really is the grouping of "all autistics think like this whereas all neurotypicals think like that" which just cannot help anyone actually chat. It's not always as a neurotypical = bad (although that is most often the tone), but I don't like how it removes uniqueness from people. And I think it's more of a situation where people are applying their personal trauma responses to a whole group of people and assuming it's correct cos it's true for them, individually.

Like, I see my staff room with three Nepalese (one of whom is on the spectrum), a Ugandan with brain damage, the most beautiful Ethiopian woman you'll ever see, the country guy with ADHD, and little me and we're all laughing at the same joke and I just am not seeing the neurotypical people in the room with the same cruelty and dismissiveness as what autistic people describe on tumblr

I can fully empathise how hard it is to shake childhood and lifelong damage from insidious stuff like what you're describing. I'm just not sure the tone I see on most autistic-centric posts are working on shaking it, I think they're wallowing. And it bothers me cos it's fucking sad, most people are fantastic!

I'm glad you mentioned that you do enjoy/don't struggle with most conversations you have these days! I also have some dud interactions throughout the week, but that's just personality clashes. Or the occasional racist 🙄. But most of it should be easy or fun, that's why we've culturally built polite interest small talk and referential shorthand jokes to show intimacy without invasiveness.

I guess it's a bit hard for me to hear that my attempts at being cheerful and causal and friendly might cause just stress in someone, and then I'd never know cos they go away to blog about it in anger. But I suppose I should get over that, if someone chooses not to talk to me about how I unknowingly make life difficult for them that's their choice and not my problem until I'm told

Cos I'm not gonna stop being cheerful and friendly just in case i confuse the odd someone, I'll be miserable and I'll feel cruel. But I am very sorry to think this sort of carry on could be unpleasant to anyone. I dunno, no fixes here of course ❤️❤️

[harmonizewithechoes]

My five year old has his very first day of kindergarten tomorrow 🥺🥺🥺 I didn’t expect to be hit with such a huge wave of emotions but I’ve been a WRECK all day