#maybe paris can be our always i hate it here NO I LOVE HOW THE PARIS BIT IS EVEN /THEIR/ COPE

[xxplastic-cubexx]

sequel to this ramble cause the way james talks bout the reduced cherik scenes throughout the xmen films in this video is making me want to kill people. 'we'll always have paris darling' what if we all blew up.

[astonmartinii]

match my freak | yuki tsunoda social media au

pairing: yuki tsunoda x fem rugby player reader

there's only one person who can match the yuki tsunoda radio freak...

MAIN MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

.・゜゜・ part of the aston martini summer olympics ・゜゜・．

yukitsunoda0511

liked by pierregasly, danielricciardo and 384,098 others

tagged: yourusername

yukitsunoda0511: spa was fine i guess, time to spend my summer break in france (ew) supporting the love of my life (yay)

view all comments

user1: 'fine i guess' as if we didn't get YOINTS

user2: tbf if my gf looked like that, points also wouldn't matter to me

pierregasly: FRANCE (EW)??? DID OUR HOMOEROTIC TENSION MEAN NOTHING???

yukitsunoda0511: oh so when i diss france we had homoerotic tension but when i said we were boyfriends i went too far 🤨

pierregasly: diss me all you want but not the homeland?

yukitsunoda0511: fine, i will from 5pm tomorrow

pierregasly: ???

yukitsunoda0511: because y/n will be there and therefore it will be the ONLY country in existence

pierregasly: i give up

user3: i need a man this down bad for me asap

user4: maybe it's time to lower my height requirements :(

yourusername: it's not how tall you are but how you are tall

user5: idk what the fuck that means

yourusername: IT MEANS SHORT KINGS PUT IN A LOT OF EFFORT WHY DO I HAVE TO SPELL OUT EVERYTHING? WHERE IS THE MEDIA LITERACY? THE READ COMPREHENSION?

user6: okay i think i now know ^^ why y/n and yuki are so good together

user7: i need someone to edit together their most iconic on field and radio moments together please for my mental health

yourusername: that's a crazy coincidence because the love of MY life will also be in paris 🤨

yukitsunoda0511: well i bet i love my love of my life more than you love your love of your life

yourusername: NUH UH

yukitsunoda0511: yep :PPPPPPP

yourusername: u wanna fight?

yukitsunoda0511: yes actually!

yourusername: well soz babe i can't get all hot and bothered before competing 🤷‍♀️

yukitsunoda0511: BORING

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, pierregasly and 318,905 others

tagged: yukitsunoda

yourusername: seeing yuki again: 10/10 ... realising he's not allowed in the olympic village and there's only cardboard beds anyway -100,000/10

view all comments

user12: so i suddenly understand why they give out so many condoms at the olympics

user13: why do they all go so feral?

yourusername: have you seen my man?

yourusername: AND THAT'S A RHETORICAL QUESTION TO SHOW OFF MY HANDSOME LITTLE MAN NOT AN INVITATION FOR YOU BITCHES TO THIRST

user14: noted 😔

pierregasly: i'm the one with a bad digital footprint but you're out here being just as horny as me on main

yourusername: i am allowed to ?

pierregasly: and i'm not allowed to?

yourusername: no

pierregasly: so fuck me i guess?

yourusername: let me be a woman in a male dominated field (being gross online)

yukitsunoda0511: yeah pierre stop trying to minimise womens' voices

pierregasly: how am i the bad guy again?

yourusername: man ❤️

pierregasly: yuki is a man?

yourusername: he's MY man which means he's been closely vetted and is basically one of the girls now

user14: i know visa cashapp rb or whatever the fuck they're called hate to see them coming

user15: it's the fact she's taller than most of the mechanics and she is always watching over them

yukitsunoda0511: i missed you so much but i can't wait to watch you beat the shit out of the competition

yourusername: for you, anything

yukitsunoda0511: a gold? so at least one of us can be world champion 🥺

yourusername: i'll win gold for you and then schedule in a friendly visit to see helmut

yukitsunoda0511: i think your mere presence could give him a heart attack

yourusername: oh well

user16: so real of her

olympics

liked by yukitsunoda0511, landonorris and 1,209,678 others

tagged: newzealandrubgy

olympics: the women's rugby final saw gold go home to new zealand!

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user17: okay yuki i am SEEING THE VISION

user18: i watched this game to see her and i am a changed woman

user19: i am no better than a man

danielricciardo: my personal favourite moment was when y/n clotheslined that poor girl, laughed in her face and said if she tried to get past her again she'd make trinket dishes out of her knee caps

yourusername: why thank you, i think my wit is my least appreciated part of my game

danielricciardo: i think we should honestly get you in the commentary box

yourusername: i'd make mince meat of crofty, he'd never say anything about yuki's radios again

danielricciardo: can you tell them to stop telling me to retire while you're at it?

yourusername: sure, i'm feeling generous

danielricciardo: a gold medal will do that to you

user20: so they weren't joking when they said that her and yuki are just the same person in different fonts ?

user21: my commentary team apologised about 20 times for her swearing on the broadcast but then they kept bursting out laughing whenever she said anything

yukitsunoda0511: HOLY FUCKING SHIT

yukitsunoda0511: GOAT GOAT GOAT MY GIRLFRIEND IS THE GOAT

yukitsunoda0511: i'm so proud, i love you y/n 🫶🏻🥹❤️‍🩹

yourusername: i love you too boo

yukitsunoda0511: can they let me in the room now? i'm getting withdrawal symptoms :(

yourusername: of course, i can't celebrate properly without you

yukitsunoda0511: 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄

user22: picturing yuki waiting outside the team room is so cute

user23: the nz team instagram posted a pic of it on their story he had flowers and balloons (∩˃o˂∩)♡

yukitsunoda0511

liked by pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 893,401 others

tagged: yourusername

yukitsunoda0511: she matches my freak :)

view all comments

user25: oh believe me we know

user26: i'm like a confusing mix of scared AND turned on

yukitsunoda0511: you keep that to yourself

user27: okay sir 🤨

yukitsunoda0511: you can look but you can't touch :P

yukitsunoda0511: actually don't even look

yukitsunoda0511: don't even think about her ( ｡ •̀ ᴖ •́ ｡)

user28: this man is insane, i love him

yourusername: you LIKE HIM YOU APPRECIATE HIM FROM AFAR YOU MAYBE HAVE A PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIP YOU DON'T LOVE HIM THAT'S FOR ME AND ME ONLY

user29: oh they weren't joking about matching each other's freaks

yourusername: there's no one else i'd like to be a lil gremlin with :3

yukitsunoda0511: gremlins forever with you <3

yourusername: sounds like paradise to me !!

yukitsunoda0511: i'm on it ✍🏻

user30: is he going to propose ???

user31: hopefully (ㅅ •᷄ ₃•᷅ )

pierregasly: yeah i guess you guys are kinda cute

yukitsunoda0511: kINDA?

yourusername: i know this man ain't speaking on us

yourusername: kika is the face economy in that relationship

yourusername: her back must hurt from carrying the style in this couple

francisca.cgomez: well 🥹

pierregasly: WHAT ? HOW ?

yukitsunoda0511: don't call my girlfriend kinda cute then 🤨

user32: good lord

fin.

note: she's back !!!!!

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

𝐊𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐛𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

• all my fanfictions for kylian here • there's mature writing here • community labels are a thing so if you want to read smuts, change the labels

🩷 = mature

♥︎ My kylian scenarios are right here. I love scenarios so please send some if you want maybe I'll write one into a full fic

Space: part one | part two

ooohhh glad you're back to write new fics! how about something angsty with kylian mbappé where he loses his fiancé due to him "needing space" over a petty issue and only for him to regret and try to win her heart back

Pr or more: part one | part two🩷| part three🩷

you and kylian are in a PR relationship to boost your career, but there was one small problem.. you both hated each other! Or did you....

Little things

Imagine you were heavily pregnant and Kylian always comes to the rescue anytime you need him like coming home with your cravings, massaging your back and feet, cuddling, putting on a comfort movie and reassuring her that everything’s gonna be ok🩷

Little creation

Ok since you're talking about kylian and giving him babies what if you have a little baby and he's doing press and his baby sitting on his lap babbling into the mic and distracting him and everyone in the room? I can imagine him smiling so hard at his little creation

Can't get you off my mine 🩷

Summary from my scenarios: a kylian fic where you both broke up but neither you or Kylian can have sex with anyone else so you both run back to each other for a night of passion

Sinful 🩷

I've a Kylian request for suurrreeeeee. What about going on vacation with Kylian as friends but you've feeling for each and him burning his skin while sunbathing and then you try to help by applying moisturizers and creams on and you know how things can endddddd

Distraction

Hey, for a Kylian fic I wanted to request: how about Kylian taking his daughter to training and theyre filming the Paris “no comment” series that day, so in the end its just his little girl commanding everyone around and getting treated liked the princess she is

Foggy glass 🩷

Smut Request}You’re about to go to bed. Kylian is needy, but you’re a little apprehensive because you’re on your period. Kylian doesn’t mind, and he convinces you into having raw period sex. There’s a first time for everything.

Twisted

Can I please have one where Kylian and reader have an argument, he walks out, she tries to hold back her tears until she goes upstairs into the bathroom and trips over a stair, sprains her ankle, she screams in pain and tries to phone Kylian but no answer, she goes into the kitchen to get an ice pack and goes to sleep until he comes home, he finds her waking up, he admits he fucked up and apologises, he asks her questions on why there’s ice but she says she’s ok until he sees her swollen ankle, takes her to hospital and doesn’t leave her side (I’d love to see comfort Kylian at the end) pleaseeee💕

Genes

No but imagine Kylian and you comparing baby pics😭😭😭 And you guys play fight about how your baby will look more like. Omg he makes a side by side of you two , and posts it as a poll. He asks his followers who they think has the stronger genes. Omg and when you’re baby is finally born she looks exactly like Kylian, but as she gets older she has the same face moles that you have. When he finally posts the baby his caption is, “well I guess my competitiveness has no limits. Cause our baby looks exactly like me. It looks like I gave birth to her myself🫃🏽🤣”

Sunday

No cause imagine every night/morning Kylian would nag you into pulling your shirt up so he can speak to his baby😭He’s just always wanting to touch your belly cause he’s so proud and thankful. He’s extra protective of you now that you’re pregnant. He’s always been so protective of you, and he doesn’t care who it is. He won’t tolerate it if anyone disrespects his woman. Sometimes he’ll just catch a glimpse of you and your belly and he’s in awe. In awe that he got so lucky.

Close - coming soon

[im-out-of-it]

PSA: RANT ABOUT CORDELIA AND HOW SHES A TERRIBLE SISTER TO ALASTAIR

it astounds me all of the occasions that Alastair has told Cordelia how much he cares and loves her but I never see the same effort back. AND YES IM MAKING ANOTHER POST ABOUT IT

I see Alastair telling her of how he ensured she had the childhood he didn’t get, how he doesn’t trust James and Matthew and doesn’t want to see Cordelia get hurt, how he will support her endeavors whether her future is with James or Matthew, how he hides her sword because she really believed wayland the smith thought she was special (I’m sorry but that’s funny), how he defended cordelia after she ran off to Paris with Matthew, how Alastair didn’t want Cortana to choose her because then danger would follow her, and just how he’s there for her every single day-

and she’s got the audacity to say or think “wow we wouldn’t be here a year ago, he’s changed so much” CAN WE STOP WITH THIS

there’s a part that Thomas says (and I seriously hate that he’s the one to say it) how the past Alastair wouldn’t research paladins to save his sister like Alastair has never been the problem here. I fully believe he is the best brother to her. (I’d kill for this kind of brother) maybe he was stealthy about it in the past and didn’t want to be like “oh hey sis, by the way our father is a drunk and bastard and I’m always cleaning up his messes” like I don’t think she actually fully acknowledges all he has done for her

I’m not saying she needs to constantly thank Alastair but I don’t ever see her being grateful about what he does for her. when Charles is wounded (I don’t see why the bastard couldn’t die), Matthew basically tells Alastair to go to him. and Cordelia is like that’s so big of you Matthew!!!!!! I’m sorry but are we just going to ignore the way charles treated your brother? she seems to have zero concern about this. when Charles tries talking to Alastair, Cordelia tries to leave but Alastair keeps a grip on her. I think there’s only once when she tells Charles to leave Alastair alone but barely.

when Cordelia returns from Paris, it’s all about how she feels. mind you, Alastair feels he can’t have Thomas and yet that isn’t ever processed because how awful for Alastair to have a pov!!!!!!! he shows his support and wow Cordelia is shocked her brother supports her!!!!!!!!

she tells the merry thieves basically that they can continue to be rude to Alastair the day after her wedding. there’s no support there. when Thomas makes a remark about Alastair being awful (which to be fair, he is still trying to process what Alastair did but we don’t actually gain access to his thoughts so the writing doesn’t pay off in the end.), Cordelia says “I know you don’t like Alastair but he is my brother” and that’s it.

Alastair is gaining no support from Cordelia whatsoever. her every thought is about James. at least in chain of gold, she was wanting family honor and helping her family but right after that, it was all about James. and this is why I don’t like her character arc and I don’t like her after chain of gold. she’s extremely selfish and I don’t ever see her support Alastair. just mentioning Thomas and how they all know he was following Thomas isn’t being supportive. I think her worst crime was spying on Alastair and then staying there. no wonder he doesn’t trust you then.

I’m just saying that Alastair has always been there for Cordelia even if it was in quiet and she never seems grateful for him, or the fact Kit died for her. I love that Alastair has Thomas now and I believe he has Gideon, gabriel, Sophie, Eugenia, Cecily and they would make him feel accepted. Gabriel and Gideon had their childhood taken away by a toxic father as well- Cecily as well, and we know Sophie went through it. I feel that they would support and give Alastair the love and support he needs because he certainly doesn’t get any from his sister

and concluding, this is why the book should’ve focused on Alastair. he’s more interesting and I hate that we don’t get his thoughts and he never actually grieves his childhood and gets to process anything

[i0veless]

# ❛LINES IN RED EVENT

Welcome to the lines in red. my February event is where I share my fav lines from some fics I have written and others I have read. I plan to do more events like this every one or two months, but we will see how this goes. feel free to do one yourself and tag me in them, as I would love to read some of your recs and be introduced to some amazing new writers. also, I must preface that some of these fics are 18+, including smut and possibly triggering content, so please proceed with caution (also, these are only a handful of the amazing fics that are posted by these amazing writers, so I recommend that you check out some of their other works as they are well worth a read).

fics :: mine

🎟 - "He wanted Y/N L/N, but unfortunately, not all dreams came true." ➛ guitar string heart by me

🎟 - "Hello, Kylian and friends, have you seen my fucking food." ➛ sweet ice skater by me

🎟 - "Oh, and yeah, and by the way, my man's name is Kylian Mbappé." ➛ let me make it clear by me

🎟 - "she was obsessed with being the belle of the ball, having her "perfect" love story - an ideal devotion." ➛ toxic attraction by me

🎟 - "Y/N come home the kids miss you" ➛ wag in traning by me

🎟 - "nice flowers who choice them..." ➛ red + blue by me

🎟 - "cuz your his at the end of the day." ➛ dating achraf haikimi by me

🎟 - "you deserve to be spoilt like royalty" ➛ dating kylian mbappe by me

🎟 - "but god, did his beauty look insignificant standing next to you" ➛ dating joao felix by me

🎟 - "everyone wants to be you or be with you" ➛ dating jude belligham by me

🎟 - "he looked at her like she hung the moon and the stars, and perhaps in other life, she had." ➛ dog days by me (coming very soon)

fics :: football

🎟 - "star girl makes her entrance." ➛ star girl by @like3dbypierregasly

🎟 - "100%, hey if they get married we will be related." ➛ like their older brothers by @mbappebby

🎟 - "The only number 7 I wanna see lifting that trophy is my number 7— Our seven." new romantics by @peaky-shelby

🎟 - "giving you a long lasting strawberry scent all day— the only problem? Neymar was severely allergic to them." ➛ love to hate me by @luvneymar

🎟 - " you and kylian have a complex history, complex relationship." ➛ valentines day disaster by @prettypleiades 

🎟 - "everything you wished I gave you?" ➛ it was never us by @photmath

🎟 - "She may have been called silver but he had got the gold. And he was never going to let her go again." ➛ jealous love by @silvervioletvalentine

🎟 - "we get another cat." ➛ ball gowns and galas by @neymarsangel

🎟 - "you came in a time in my life when I needed something extra and I don’t need it anymore." ➛ the other woman by @70strekkie

🎟 - "Still here? Might as well cuddle with me, chère." ➛ the butterfly effect by @kiryoutann

🎟 - "hop in then, princess." ➛ psg sweethearts by @photmath

🎟 - "why couldn’t people love me? Why not me? Why can’t I be loved?" ➛ why not me by @applejuicefruit

🎟 - "you felt like your heart had been ripped out your chest and smeared across the walls of the shared home you once had with mason." ➛ betrayed by @tomsparkyr

🎟 - "when we were seventeen he birded me up and the rest is history as they say!" ➛ behind the dream by @stopsavinchat66

🎟 - "it meant so much to you then, but now it meant nothing to you." ➛ space by @iguessweallcrazyithinktho

🎟 - "maybe your joão was never really yours but always kind of hers." ➛ her by @yungbludz

🎟 - "they both knew it wouldn't be the last time." ➛ I'll always be there for you by @richarl1son

🎟 - "i’d be ronaldo by the way, he’s the better looking one of the two." ➛ tell me lies by @okayymochi

🎟 - "chérie? How much hair do you think I have?" ➛ a little bit of care by @karotland

🎟 - "always passing, never meeting." ➛ the sun and the moon by @notbluees

🎟 - "It would be an absolute bestseller" ➛ when in paris by @keanureevesisbae

fics :: formula one

🎟 - "oh, good heavens!" ➛ the origin of russy bussy by @sebscore

🎟 - "it can still be me." ➛ love you goodbye by @micks-afterglow

🎟 - "actually, it’s black coffee with four sugars." ➛ people watching by @silverstonesainz

🎟 - "is little lando in his emo phase?" ➛ lonely hearts club by @astonmartinii

🎟 - "I don’t need his approval." ➛ disapproval by @holllandtrash

🎟 - "at this point, you were ready to throw a match at McLaren headquarters and call it a day." ➛ angry by @whorekneecentral

🎟 - "I live fot it." ➛ unless you like that by @monzamash

🎟 - "I’ve always been creative and good with words, hence the love letters"➛ love languages by @astonmartinii

🎟 - "people, don't take the words of twinks seriously" ➛ twitch war by @sebscore

🎟 - "there in the corner of the room where you placed the engagement ring back in his hand and left his life behind quietly." ➛ overly sincere by @leclsrc

🎟 - "what's a charles?" ➛ european romance by @leclvrc

🎟 - "liked by pierregasly" ➛ trophy husband by @leclercs-posts

🎟 - "now would be a bad time to start negotiating..." ➛ homecoming by @danielfuckingricciardo

🎟 - "she got scouted by a moulding agency when her mugshots were leaked" ➛ bad bitch by @schuvries

🎟 - "why did you get to be the golden child? did he not deserve the same treatment?" ➛ the red string of me and you by @libraryofloveletters

🎟 - "I’ve got a lot to make up for then, haven’t I baby." ➛ first time for everything by @paradisehamilton

🎟 - "he goes, and wonders for the rest of his life what would’ve happened if he stayed." ➛ you gotta move, or move on by @absolutelynotmate-archive

🎟 - "she was used to suitors being somewhat reserved and intimidated by her title or being blinded by it." ➛ royal by @pucksandpower

🎟 - "here is a simple device to cut your own hair!" ➛ all I want for christmas by @micksslut

🎟 - "I'm completely in love with you." ➛ let it snow by @writingshushf1

🎟 - "Max had one question left." ➛ romeo asked juliet three questions by @xhopelesslyromanticx

[canirove]

Kylian Mbappé Imagine | five

Little summary: This is a request by @maetheh here on Tumblr. You are on a long distance relationship with Kylian after meeting in the country where you live (in this case Spain). You would like to live together, but you are still studying and moving isn’t possible at the moment. But just at the moment... Hope you like it and thank you for reading! ☺️💜

Masterlist

“Hola, churri.”

“I regret teaching you that word so much” I say, rolling my eyes. “Why did I do it?”

“Because you can’t say no to this face” Kylian smiles. “And it is cute, I like it.”

“It isn’t cute.”

“It is.”

“Whatever. How was training?”

“Cold and miserable” he sighs. 

“Here it is sunny. Look” I say, moving my phone so he can see through the window.

“Urgh, I hate you.”

“Sorry” I smile. “But if you moved here, you could also enjoy the sun.”

“Stop playing agent” he laughs.

“I am not playing anything, I’m just stating a fact. The weather in Madrid is better than in Paris.”

“Maybe. But you are also trying to convince me to move there and sign for a certain team.”

“Atlético de Madrid? Never. I don’t hate you, Kylian. I love you.”

“And I love you too” he smiles. “But stop playing agent. It isn’t working.”

“Shame” I sigh. “You would look so handsome in white…”

“I already wear white.”

“But it isn’t the same. Ours is more… pure.”

“Yeah, pure. Like you, uh?” he smirks.

“Oh, shut up.”

“Now is when I would tell you make me, and you would kiss me and probably show me how pure you are.”

“But we happen to be 1.000 kilometres away. When are you coming back to visit me?”

“I was there last week!” Kylian chuckles.

“I know, but I miss you.”

“And I miss you too” he pouts. “But people are already gossiping, wondering why I am constantly spotted in Madrid.”

“You are having secret dates with Florentino.”

“That’s what they probably believe, yes” he laughs. “But you know, you could also come visit me. You know I don’t mind paying for the flight.”

“I know, and I’m very thankful. But my final exams are around the corner, and I must start studying. I don’t need a certain French guy distracting me” I smirk.

“Giroud? He also distracts me, though how not to when he looks like that” he sighs, trying to hide a cheeky smile.

“You are the worst, Kylian” I laugh. “But I already knew he also distracts you. I haven’t forgotten about the day we met at that party, about how we both were looking at him as if he was this God that had come to earth to bless us with his presence.”

“I still don’t know how you paid me any attention that night” he chuckles.

“You were the only one who spoke some Spanish. And in case you didn’t know, you yourself also happen to be really hot.”

“Oh, stop it. You are gonna make me blush.”

“That was my goal” I smirk.

“But now you’ve made me remember our first date, when I took you to that restaurant that supposedly made the best paella in Ibiza, and it actually sucked. If I was there, I would take you out for lunch.”

“If you lived here…”

“And if you lived here…”

“What?” 

“I mean… why not? We are always talking, or to be 100% accurate, you are always teasing me about moving to Madrid and signing for Real Madrid. But we never talk about you moving to Paris.”

“Maybe because I don’t speak any French?” I chuckle.

“But your English is amazing, way better than mine. You could survive with that while learning French.”

“Ok, and what about my studies, uh? I haven’t finished my degree yet.”

“But if you pass these next exams, you’ll only have to do an internship to finish it, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then come do that in Paris.”

“Like an Erasmus?” I laugh.

“Something like that” he shrugs.

“Kylian, I already told you. I don’t speak any French, only the few sentences you’ve taught me. And if I’m being honest, I don’t truly believe they mean what you say they mean.”

“You wound me, my dear” he says, dramatically putting a hand on his chest and making me laugh. “But if my plan works, you won’t need to speak much French.”

“Your plan?”

“Come do your internship at PSG.”

“What?” I say, my phone almost slipping from my hand.

“Your grades so far have been amazing. That alone should make them consider you as an intern. But you also happen to speak Spanish and English fluently, which would help you communicate better with the players and understand what they may need. And, you also happen to know a certain player who could put a good word in for you.”

“Kylian…”

“C`mon, think about it. You’ll be doing your internship in one of the best football teams in the world, and learning from some of the best physios out there. Imagine how cool that would look on your curriculum! And it would mean being together. For real. No more facetime calls that last hours and falling asleep until your phone falls in your face. You could be falling asleep on my shoulder before I take you to bed.”

“That last part sounds lovely” I smile.

“Everything sounds lovely if you ask me.”

“How long have you been thinking about this? About me moving to Paris with you?”

“Since the first time I came back home after visiting you. I missed you so much that I thought: I must find a way to make this work for both of us.”

“And that doesn’t involve signing for Real Madrid.”

“Exactly” Kylian laughs. “What do you say? Would you think about it?”

“But me being there… What if it affects you? What if people start spreading lies, saying that your performance isn’t good because of me?”

“That won’t happen. If there is something affecting me, it is not having you here next to me each morning when I wake up.”

“Aww, Kylian.”

“Will you think about it, then?”

“I will. But once I’m done with my exams.”

“Of course, perfect. You focus on nailing those, and then we’ll discuss when you are moving to Paris.”

“I haven’t said yes yet” I chuckle.

“But you will. You have the same smile you had when I asked you out and you said you weren’t too sure about it.”

“Do I have a smile that says all that?” I laugh.

“You do, churri.”

“Please don’t call me that ever again. If you do, I am not moving with you.”

“Ok, ok” he laughs. “What about gorgeous?”

“That sounds much better.”

“I love you, gorgeous.”

“I love you too, Kylian.”

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: ML Season 5 episode 23 Revolution

Spoilers below

-Chloe being puppet as the new dictator of Paris. Outlawing super heroes and monarch. So cringe

-ladybug and chat noir debating on what to do but think since Chloe isn’t akumatized they would look like villains if they did something. Ummm, she has a robot army and declared herself leader, I’m pretty sure you got a free pass to beat her ass

-Pffff! They are trusting adults. Yeah, cause THAT always worked for you guys.

-of course that Racist cop is fine with Chloe being in charge!

-meanwhile Plagg talking sense to Adrien

-he was going to tell her, but in her defense this stupid ass situation is kind of important

-It’s really sad that the reaction to Chloe being a dictator is really not surprising. I could go in depth but if I think about our current society I will just get annoyed.

-Chloe at least tried to have monarch arrested… before then immediately listening to him and getting powers BUT pretending she didn’t have an akuma.

-A political puppet that’s a hypocrite. What a twist. (Said no one)

-Queen mayor, at least Chloé gets some sort of outfit change.

-So the Resistance is doing a protest. How French. I hope they involve a guillotine.

-… if this were anymore on the nose it would be a face hugger.

-I will give Astruc one thing, he nailed what a typical politician is like. Corrupt, arrogant, being told what to say and do, and lies all the time. I could go on but I hate politics.

-chloé and evolution, and Chloe being the only one in class yet NOT paying attention. That’s actually kind of funny. Like why even go?

-How did they get a Statue like that built in such a short time?

-did Chloe just Legislate love?

-and she just arrested Marinette’s parents and captured her.

-Adrien still can’t communicate with Marinette cause of the situation.

-Adrien found out what Chloe did and is PISSED!

-Chloé knows about London.

-At least Adrien didn’t cave. But now he’s captured.

-Sure is Big brother up in this bitch.

-Plagg being like (want me to take a crack at the screens) Plagg is best boy

-looking at it, the jail/detention isn’t that hard to escape.

-wait did chat noir use cataclysm 2 times already? Well we can assume he detransformed and retransformed.

- Chloe yelling about threats to democracy, yet never knowing what the word meant.

-Ladybug and chat noir step in to tell her. Perfect.

-invincible prisons, oh damn.

-Gabriel and Tomoe out here waiting for the detransformation and taking back control.

-welp, I guess this makes Queen mayor the most effective akuma. She captured them both and now they will detransform. Unless someone shows up? Maybe Su han will finally be useful. I’m kidding. My bet is they get a power up

-ladybug coming in clutch with hero speeches

-Did he just say super underpants?!

-They just willed their transformation back! So I guess they are all grown up now?

-Monarch is shocked by the power of plot convinience.

-chat noir didn’t need to do that, he just wanted to show off and I don’t blame him.

-Was ladybug going to give Chloe a charm? I don’t think she wants one.

-And the mayor steps in to finally ground her.

-Lila took the robots.

-so the kids encourage Ms. Bustier to run

-Chloe is being taken by her mother to have her education Re-evaluated. And now Chloe is going to expose what she knows to Marinette as one last act of spite. Though for a brief moment we saw her pause on Sabrina, perhaps contemplating something. But for what reason, we may never know.

-meanwhile, Adrien is being forced to leave now by his father. He can’t say no because Amok.

-Nathalie is there, Nathalie do something!

-no Nathalie Kick Gabriel’s ass! Don’t just stand by!

-wait so Chloe never called her. Adrien got to tell her. Well at least that.

-Break my heart why don’t ya.

-they sold enough Alliance? Oh dear that can’t be good.

-G being a real G and letting Adrien go.

-FINALLY! A canon Adrinette kiss. Too bad it’s absolutely tragic

-G no! You have to seperate them now.

-Ah there goes my heart.

-Oh bonus scene.

-Marinette telling Chloe to F*** off was great.

-Lila or whoever she is has that suitcase and is likely going to mess with the plan Tomoe and Gabriel have

___________________________________________

Honestly this episode was cringe for most of it.

Chloé being dictator was jumping the shark, ladybug and chat noir can use their powers multiple times now which is about time but probably not useful now.

Lila has the pieces she needs and finally

ADRINETTE KISS!

That last part alone keeping this episode from being the worst of season 5

I give it a 6.5 out of 10

The 6.0 being awarded cause of the Adrien kiss

The additional .5 being Adrien and Marinette standing up to Chloe.

Though Andre got off easy

[erasmashups]

this is a side blog! dedicated to writing out the lyrics of each eras surprise song mashup (maybe a little analysis + sharing of audios/video) send me asks if you have any issues or q's!!

my main is @wannaloveyoubutidont current icons are from @directiolfiepacks

Mashups Masterlist:

Buenos Aires, Argentina (Nov 11, '23) – 'Is It Over Now?/Out of the Woods'

Melbourne, Australia (Feb 17) 'Getaway Car/August/The Other Side of the Door'

Melbourne, Australia (Feb 18) 'Come Back…Be Here/Daylight'

Sydney, Australia (Feb 23) 'White Horse/Coney Island' (ft: Sabrina Carpenter)

Sydney, Australia (Feb 24) 'Should've Said No/You're Not Sorry' 'New Year's Day/Peace'

Sydney, Australia (Feb 25) 'Is It Over Now?/I Wish You Would' 'Haunted/Exile'

Sydney, Australia (Feb 26) 'Would've Could've Should've/Ivy' 'Forever & Always/Maroon'

Singapore, SG (Mar 2) 'Mine/Starlight' 'I Don't Wanna Live Forever/Dress'

Singapore, SG (Mar 3) 'Long Story Short/The Story of Us' 'Clean/Evermore'

Singapore, SG (Mar 4) 'Foolish One/Tell Me Why' 'This Love/Call It What You Want'

Singapore, SG (Mar 7)  'Death By A Thousand Cuts/Babe' 'Fifteen/You're On Your Own, Kid'

Singapore, SG (Mar 8) 'Sparks Fly/Gold Rush' 'False God/"Slut!"'

Singapore, SG (Mar 9) 'Tim McGraw/Cowboy Like Me' 'Mirrorball/Epiphany'

Paris, France (May 10) 'Is It Over Now?/Out Of The Woods'

Paris, France (May 12) 'The Alchemy/Treacherous' 'Begin Again/Paris'

Stockholm, Sweden (May 17) 'I Think He Knows/Gorgeous'

Stockholm, Sweden (May 18) 'Say Don't Go/Welcome To New York/Clean'

Stockholm, Sweden (May 19) 'Message In A Bottle/How You Get The Girl/New Romantics'

Lisbon, Portugal (May 24) 'Come Back…Be Here/The Way I Loved You/The Other Side of the Door' 'Fresh Out The Slammer/High Infidelity'

Lisbon, Portugal (May 25) 'The Tortured Poets Department/Now That We Don't Talk' 'You're On Your Own, Kid/Long Live'

Madrid, Spain (May 29) 'Sparks Fly/I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)' 'I Look In People's Windows/Snow on the Beach'

Madrid, Spain (May 30) 'Our Song/Jump Then Fall'

Lyon, France (June 2) 'The Prophecy/Long Story Short' 'Fifteen/You're On Your Own, Kid'

Lyon, France (June 3) 'Glitch/Everything Has Changed'

Edinburgh, UK (June 7) 'Would've, Could've, Should've/I Know Places' ''Tis The Damn Season/Daylight'

Edinburgh, UK (June 8) 'The Bolter/Getaway Car' 'All Of The Girls You Loved Before/Crazier'

Edinburgh, UK (June 9) 'It's Nice To Have A Friend/Dorothea' 'Haunted/Exile'

Liverpool, UK (June 13) 'I Can See You/Mine' 'Cornelia Street/Maroon'

Liverpool, UK (June 14) 'This Is What You Came For/Gold Rush' 'The Great War/You're Losing Me'

Liverpool, UK (June 15) 'Carolina/No Body, No Crime' 'The Manuscript/Red'

Cardiff, UK (June 18) 'I Forgot That You Existed/This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things' 'I Hate It Here/the lakes'

London, UK (June 21) 'Hits Different/Death By A Thousand Cuts' 'The Black Dog/Come Back…Be Here/Maroon'

London, UK (June 22) 'thanK you aIMee/Mean'

London, UK (June 23) 'Out of the Woods/Is It Over Now?/Clean'

Dublin, Ireland (June 28) 'State of Grace/You're On Your Own, Kid' 'Sweet Nothing/Hoax'

Dublin, Ireland (June 29) 'The Albatross/Dancing With Our Hands Tied' 'This Love/Ours'

Dublin, Ireland (June 30) 'Clara Bow/The Lucky One'

Amsterdam, Netherlands (July 4) 'Guilty As Sin?/Untouchable' 'The Archer/Question…?'

Amsterdam, Netherlands (July 5) 'imgonnagetyouback/Dress' 'You Are In Love/Cowboy Like Me'

Amsterdam, Netherlands (July 6) 'Sweeter Than Fiction/Holy Ground' 'Mary's Song (Oh My My My)/So High School/Everything Has Changed'

Zürich, Switzerland (July 9) 'Right Where You Left Me/All You Had To Do Was Stay' 'Last Kiss/Sad Beautiful Tragic'

Zürich, Switzerland (July 10) 'Closure/A Perfectly Good Heart' 'Robin/Never Grow Up'

Milan, Italy (July 13) 'The 1/Wonderland' 'I Almost Do/The Moment I Knew'

Milan, Italy (July 14) 'Mr. Perfectly Fine/Red' 'Getaway Car/Out of the Woods'

Gelsenkirchen, Germany (July 17) 'Superstar/Invisible String' '"Slut!"/False God'

Gelsenkirchen, Germany (July 18) 'Speak Now/Hey Stephen' 'This Is Me Trying/Labyrinth'

Gelsenkirchen, Germany (July 19) 'Paper Rings/Stay Stay Stay' 'it's time to go/Better Man'

Hamburg, Germany (July 23) 'Teardrops On My Guitar/The Last Time' 'We Were Happy/Happiness'

Hamburg, Germany (July 24) 'The Last Great American Dynasty/Run' 'Nothing New/Dear Reader'

Munich, Germany (July 27) 'Fresh Out The Slammer/You Are In Love' 'Ivy/Call It What You Want'

Munich, Germany (July 28) 'I Don't Wanna Live Forever/imgonnagetyouback' 'loml/Don't You'

Warsaw, Poland (Aug 1) 'Mirrorball/Clara Bow' 'Suburban Legends/New Year's Day'

Warsaw, Poland (Aug 2) 'I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)/I Can See You' 'Red/Maroon'

Warsaw, Poland (Aug 3) 'Today Was A Fairytale/I Think He Knows' 'The Black Dog/Exile'

London, UK (Aug 15) 'Everything Has Changed/End Game/Thinking Out Loud' (ft: Ed Sheeran) 'King Of My Heart/The Alchemy'

London, UK (Aug 16) 'Dear John/Sad Beautiful Tragic'

London, UK (Aug 17) 'My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys/Coney Island'

London, UK (Aug 19) 'Long Live/Change' 'The Archer/You're On Your Own, Kid'

London, UK (Aug 20) 'Death By A Thousand Cuts/Getaway Car' (ft: Jack Antonoff)

Miami, FL (Night 1 - Oct 18) 'Tim McGraw/Timeless' 'this is me trying/Daylight'

Miami, FL (Night 2 - Oct 19) 'Should've Said No/I Did Something Bad' 'loml/White Horse'

Miami, FL (Night 3 - Oct 20) 'Out Of The Woods/All You Had To Do Was Stay' 'mirrorball/Guilty As Sin?'

New Orleans, LA (Night 1 - Oct 25) 'Our Song/Call It What You Want' 'The Black Dog/Haunted'

New Orleans, LA (Night 2 - Oct 26) 'Espresso/Is It Over Now?/Please Please Please' (ft: Sabrina Carpenter) 'Hits Different/Welcome to New York'

New Orleans, LA (Night 3 - Oct 27) 'Afterglow/Dress' 'How You Get The Girl/Clean'

Indianapolis, IN (Night 1 - Nov 1) 'The Albatross/Holy Ground' 'Cold As You/exile'

Indianapolis, IN (Night 2 - Nov 2) 'The Prophecy/This Love' 'Maroon/cowboy like me'

Indianapolis, IN (Night 3 - Nov 3) 'Cornelia Street/The Bolter' 'Death By Thousand Cuts/The Great War'

Toronto, Canada (Night 1 - Nov 14) 'My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys/This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things' 'False God/'tis the damn season'

Toronto, Canada (Night 2 - Nov 15) 'I Don't Wanna Live Forever/Mine' 'evermore/Peter'

Toronto, Canada (Night 3 - Nov 16) 'Us (with Gracie Abrams)/Out of the Woods' 'You're On Your Own, Kid/Long Story Short'

[fangerine]

i'm not jewish. i think, maybe a great great grandparent was but that's neither here nor there. but even though i'm not jewish, i was always made aware from a young age how rampant anti-semitism is in not just the united states where i live but globally. when i was 12, my mom encouraged (made me) read "the diary of anne frank". i believe it was only then that i began to truly recognize just how horrible the holocaust was. i don't think my public education did a very good job of teaching people how evil it really was. there seemed to be some sort of assumption that kids "just know". we didn't see the horrors of it actually displayed in books. i know that a world history class can't spend the entire time on one event but a few pages can't ever grasp the ruthless slaughter of six million innocent people. memorizing numbers and dates for some test worth five points will never get the message across to kids that something as horrible as that happened much less than a hundred years ago.

i grew up christian. i'm not anymore but i will never EVER in the good ol' united states of america be afraid of being attacked for my religion. christians can fuckin' whine and complain all they want about being "persecuted" but the fact is that in 2021, the FBI reported that over 50% of religion-related hate crimes were anti-jewish.

over fifty fucking percent.

we always say "never forget" and "never again" but you can find countless surveys where an alarming amount of people either don't know or fervently deny that SIX MILLION PEOPLE WERE SLAUGHTERED FOR BEING JEWISH.

i know the persecution of jews goes much further back than the holocaust but hopefully, my point is clear.

in the past few weeks, i saw a burned apartment door of an elderly jewish couple in paris. they would have been toddlers when germany occupied france in 1940. i saw jewish families in germany with the star of david spray painted on their doors. i've seen people in protests proudly waving nazi flags in new york city. samantha woll, a synagogue leader was just murdered outside of her home in detroit. i can go on but i think you see the picture.

i'm not jewish but i don't need to be for these disgusting acts to horrify me. what i've come to realize (and maybe this is wrong) is that the hatred of jews has become so frequent in our society, that it's not really looked at anymore. it's not "newsworthy" and therefore, many people just don't care.

i'm not sure what i can do except speak up. i fear for the safety of jews all around the world. there are so many ignorant and hateful people out there making it so dangerous. jewish families aren't sending their children out of fear that something could happen at their schools. jewish people are scared so please, don't be ignorant. know the history. for non-jews like myself, we have a duty to educate ourselves and listen to a group of people who have been targeted and violently persecuted for centuries.

for jews who see this post. i'm sorry this increase in hatred towards your community is happening. i can't possibly begin to know how you must be feeling but know that you aren't being ignored by everyone. your cries for justice are NOT unheard.

if there is anything that i can do to help, please reach out. if there's anything wrong with this post, please say something. i am trying my best to be educated but know i don't and will most likely never have the full picture. i would love to add links, resources, and whatever else that is useful and important.

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

am I first to ask for the lesbian A/C fic list

HELLO!!! yes you are!!!! Here is my lesbian a/c fic rec list, arranged by order of word count!

follow me in merry measure by larkthorne (G, 2.1k) - Butch Aziraphale, they dance in a lesbian club in the 1940s. I genuinely started crying halfway through.

help me to say by dotsayers (T, 2.7k) - 13th Century, Aziraphale is stuck in a convent. Crowley shows up. Much pining. Also, the look and feel of this fic is nice. The setting and atmosphere. Which may sound odd to say about a 2.7k long fic but it really is.

a golden tattoo by witching (T, 3.2k) - Crowley attends a ball Aziraphale is in. They talk about it.  It really is about how Crowley would like to believe that Aziraphale loves/craves/seeks the pleasure of her company (she does). (everybody listen to glacier by ang bandang shirley)

I Just Called to Say by the hoyden (E, 4.2k) - 1920s. Crowley gets sent to America and they have phone sex about it. I think Crowley is the most endearing being to exist maybe ever.

Decline, Deny by Vitreous_Humor (E, 4.4k) - Victorian England. Aziraphale takes Crowley in to give her a bath. This one is crazy.

your apple-eating heathen by katarzi (G, 5.7k) - Book fic written in 2014. I really love Crowley in this one, especially in the Paris, le douzième mars 1790 section. Much to think about.

the patron saints of our blissful imperfections by noodlefrog (E, 8.5k) - Aziraphale always leaves after they have sex and Crowley worries about it. Many things to like about this fic but my favourite is perhaps when Crowley says that she thinks that Aziraphale was “holding her mouth open under the water and pretending she was a gargoyle" in the shower. She wasn’t. But she should.

Comfort, Keep, and Honor by Meridians_of_Madness (M, 8.5k) - Arranged marriage AU (they’re still angel and demon but heaven and hell marry them off to each other). They change presentations a lot in this one and Aziraphale is always he/him pronouns even when he describes himself as a woman and Crowley’s pronouns change through the years. I love transgender people so so so so so so SO so much you guys.

gnawing with my teeth my bonds in sunder, I gained my freedom by noodlefrog (E, 10.2k) - Crowley has a vagina dentata. A fic about how love is so fucking real and also so beautiful.

All Along, You Were Blooming by waterofthemoon (E, 10.3k) - Crowley takes Aziraphale to a plant convention and imparts the fear of Crowley to her self-proclaimed mortal enemy (Aziraphale pouts. "I thought I was your Enemy." "I said mortal enemy," Crowley says, rolling her eyes.) While I do think Crowley is not the type to mingle with people frequently, I think she can must and should be involved in plant-related communities with people she sees around once a year and also have a guy she hates so much it’s unreal in said community.

never get to heaven on a night like this by RestlessWanderings (G, 33k) - THE lesbian a/c 6000 years of pining fic series. A two-parter, first one is Crowley’s POV and second is Aziraphale’s. I like the Aziraphale one better and you can read it on its own, but 1) they have different themes to offer so you get different things from them and 2) it really does work better as a set. So wonderful, truly. AZIRAPHALEEEEEE.

Thank you so much for the ask!!!

- Grey <3333

[jeremy-queere]

im actually gonna liveblog my own thoughts about those last few chaps of my fic, which are basically always going to be "i'm hilarious actually" but yknow. specific lines. minor spoilers ig

>be jeremy >tell rich about how you fixed the giant issue where yelling at a squip can turn off every squip in the network >by telling him this aloud, you just alerted the squips to this security flaw >mfw i destroyed the easiest way to save the world without a second thought: :) >still smilling at rich, ready for praise >rich short circuits.

plus with the shutdown that christine mentioned this chapter. it's almost like ? jeremy isn't coming at this from a perspective of wanting to turn squips off???? and never even bothered researching that option??? 😂 bonkers. who'd have thought

i fully recognize that having a coder POV say "The bugs, miraculously, became rarer and smaller" is the biggest ask in the fic in terms of suspension of disbelief. maybe when jeremy is better at this they'll realize they were wrong about that. not in a "this update is secretly a time bomb" way but in a "holy shit i can't believe i used to think this was good programming" way

i still think it's funny whenever i reference jeremy muting themself after the FIRST TIME it came up where jeremy acknowledged that "muting themself wasn't any different from a human just choosing not to speak." i love my weird robot child.

i still like the "C-c-c-c'mon, Jeremy, can't you see, we've got a date, so concentrate! We'll start with us, just me and you, some deja vu, and then ensue: your microchip plus our friendship-" implying "the squip" being sung in the same lovestruck voice as the chorus usually sings "christine."

^ i usually pick a song to write the summary from based solely on vibes and character focus. the fact that this was from Upgrade rather than two player game was a dead giveaway regarding michael's intentions btw.

writing michael after that last mall scene has been so weird. on purpose. but like everything he says is a catchy line ending on a discordant note. the sudden pivot from slowburn to joking about having sex and humanity = romance. every time michael interrupts or talks over jeremy instead of going out of his way to set a good example, i wince lol. encouraging them to stop thinking so much. ignoring every one of jeremy's soft "no"s because they're inconvenient. Here Are Our Stereotypical Nerd Spots and Here Is Your Mandated Giant Teddy Bear and Here Is My Secret Condom. (jeremy sprinted into the sunset before we got to that part and we all thank them for it.) jeremy never once having indicated that they wanted to actually have sex any time soon but michael did everything in his power to make sure the date would end that way without a single worry about what jeremy told them about chloe.

i don't think it's spoilers to clarify that michael was in the driver's seat for all of that, but was in a situation where he was very incentivized to listen to the SQUIP. and jeremy looooves squips so obviously the SQUIP is the expert on this, not michael :P

madeline offscreen: constant orgies, pretending to be from paris, scheming femme fatale madeline for the 2.3 seconds she was onscreen: i swear quebec is better than people give it credit for wait don't go-

jeremy's definition of breaking up with someone is, consistently, running away from an emotionally charged moment and convincing themself that they hate them. lol.

christine accusing jeremy of talking at her was also a direct response to the author trying to get on their wikipedia-level-of-philosophy-knowledge soapbox again. btw on that note, observation selection effect seems to only be mentioned in places as a synonym for the anthropic principle. it is more specific than how jeremy defines it, being an existential thing about how "the range of possible observations that could be made about the universe is limited by the fact that observations could happen only in a universe capable of developing intelligent life" (~ wikipedia <3). i get away with a lot of bullshit claims, some of them even intentionally bullshit, bc the character making those claims is reading even less of the wikipedia article than i am.

but that was transparently just a nod to the book being one of the many parallel universes that are foundational to how the squip works in canon

speaking of references that delight me and me alone, in-character phantom of the opera reference re: pageboy

i think all the main/supporting cast all think they're the main characters. except jeremy! not because of jeremy 1.0's insistence that he's not a leading man, but because they have been so busy with observing themself that they haven't even considered anyone else observing them and coming to different conclusions. (see: the PA system joke with michael which alerted the ENTIRE SCHOOOOooool 🎶 to their situation, which in jeremy's narrative, was just a gag as part of a longer fun flirty convo with michael, brought up for laughs and then forgotten.) (it's not like it's plot relevant as in that it doomed them or anything, but just a signal that not everyone perceives the fic events like jeremy does!!)

they're trying to learn to be less self-absorbed (and i'm not saying that as an insult so much as an accurate description of their default thought patterns) but it IS a learning curve. for all their self-reflection, i would describe them as a very reactive person, which is also probably why they (along with jeremy 1.0 and keanu squip) constantly struggle/d with needing a sense of control

im aware that despite christine's in-character criticism of the narrative i wrote 🙃 that she's here for exposition and emotional closure. she knows and she's not happy about it. it's a consequence of writing the story i wanted to tell but that doesn't make it immune from criticism. it's a good question for me, that the story i wanted to tell DID involve removing her agency so much. but i don't see that as a question that needs a direct answer or for me to defend so much as something to reflect on after it's over. in the meantime christine ma'am i'll give you something good in the epilogue i prommy, and i'll add something about this to my notes now that i think about it.

[holdmyhopeinyourhands]

Makhy. I have an audacious question but I ask it not to shade or mock but to genuinely have your opinion. I dont know if I’ve just been reading too much toxic shit so it’s been weighing on my mind lately. Do you think Messi ruined PSG? It breaks my heart to ask this really as I’m a huge Messi fan but I guess it’s safe to say his time with Paris has not lived up to what we imagined it to be. I get so protective of him (lol i dont even know why cause he’s like a millionaire) and sometimes all I read from PSG fans is that Messi is the reason for their downfall. As a Messi fan, I think I’ve been spoiled to never had the experience of fans wishing my fave would leave their club. I never had that experience with Barcelona. With Argentina, it was a little more complicated especially between 2014-2018 but I think the global love for Messi helped muffle the negativity of Argentines who wanted to stone him. But with PSG? It’s like everybody and their mama wants him out and hates him and blames him for their club’s current state. So this experience has really been wild to me as I find myself for the first time dealing with vitriol comments from fans who want him out of their club. 😩 This sounds really corny. But like I take it so personally. Lmaoooo I sound so pathetic. I just wish his time with Paris had been better. Wish there wasnt as much drama and toxicity. Today, I know already they will get humiliated and the thought of Messi being the face of this defeat again kills me.

I hope you are doing well Makhy. I miss you talking about football but honestly I dont blame you for taking a step back from it. It’s all so toxic these days especially with PSG. It’s become a blame game lately. Fortunately for me, I also follow a bit of F1 because of Lewis and I’m excited this season. I think whatever happens with Lewis and Merc this year, I’m just going to enjoy his presence and racing. I think watching Seb last season taught me that.

We are really watching our sporting heroes age and retire huh? It feels so overwhelming as they have defined so much of my childhood. Seeing them grow old and in the final years of their career makes me emotional. When I watch Messi play football, I still feel like a little girl. And now he’s at the age of his finals years playing elite football and I’m old. It’s cruel but also funny how time flies and suddenly we are all older.

Hello my sweetest darling. You may ask for I shall answer. Personally I've wanted Messi out of this club too. Not because I didn't like him or because he's my favorite player but because the dawning horror of knowing he doesn't 'fit' has been overwhelming. It's weirdly complicated and depressing looking at the situation from a Messi admirer but not exactly a die hard fan's perspective. When he originally was supposed to sign with us I was both super excited because wtf wow and wary because I didn't think it was such a good idea. We had so many holes in our team, Messi 100% didn't want to be here if he had any other options and our team had just gotten rid of our captain who was one of the most loyal players in the club because they felt he was getting too old. All in all, this was a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. Add the Kylian situation, the neybappe strife and Kylian choosing to stay which earned him our undying loyalty and you have whatever psg is now.

Honestly, when the season first started and these idiots performed so well I nearly cried in relief because fuck, thank God it all worked out. Maybe things will calm down now, but nop, I was wrong and now here we are, disarrayed, disjointed, at each other's throat.

Messi doesn't belong here. It's not his fault and he's doing everything he can. He's working his ass off but the fans are always going to choose Kylian and I can't blame them for it. Whether Kylian chooses to leave in the end, he is Parisian and he's spent seven years here. He didn't have to, but he did and that means the world to psg, to us. But Messi is Messi. He is a living breathing legend and it fucking hurts seeing people turn on him and blame him. I was fine with it when he was at barca and we were playing them but he's here now. Doesn't he deserve some level of respect? Some kindness? So what if he didn't want to leave Barca. That was his home, who can blame him. But he's working hard now. He's here. So while he is, why hate him? Just appreciate the literal best player in the world while we have him.

On the other hand, so many Messi fans migrated to psg with him and honestly the obnoxiousness of some fans has driven the psg fans nuts so I can also see why they're lashing out. When every good thing the team does is attributed to Messi when our other players (especially Mbappe) are tributing equally as much if not more, I too have my shackles rising. Truth is, we don't need Messi. Not like Argentina did, not like Barca did. We would have been a clown club with or without him and dealing with loyal (only) Messi supporters who want us to act like the sun rises and falls with him is draining so yeah, I can also see why for that reason fans might want him to just leave.

In the end, I guess Messi is to you guys what Totti was to me and all roma fans. If Totti had been forced out of Roma and had to play for Man city or something I would be furious if they didn't appreciate him. I would be pissed if they acted like he was no big deal and wanted him to leave. Because fuck that, he is a legend, he is my legend and if we could have kept him we would so how dare they. So yeah, it's a redicuously stupidly complicated situation and it's so exhausting it makes me almost burst into tears because I came here to watch my idiot boys run around after a stupid ball and this is not what I signed up for.

Fans from both sides should just stop talking and enjoy a team (terrible as they are right now) that will never be see the likes of again, play togher. If they can do that, I think this fandom experience will be a lot more enjoyable. Til then, I'm just gonna stay on the way side supporting my circus quietly and staying out of the discord because it's frankly tiring and I can't anymore.

Also *hugs* I know how it feels to watch your legends retire so I'm here whenever you wanna rant and rave about your favs babe<3 And let me live in my delusional world pretending Lewis is immortal and will never retire, eeeeeeever. As for f1 in general, I swear if merc don't give Lewis a winning car this season I'm officially done with sports and will probantly drive off a cliff T_T

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

Emily in Paris - Season 3: Quotes

- “You’ll be hearing from our lawyers. (Emily) - So you’re suing me for not calling you?” (Alfie) (Episode 2)

- “I didn’t realize what I had until I lost it.” (Emily - Episode 2)

- “Yeah, well, the American dream turned into the French nightmare.” (Episode 2)

- “You know, I’ll give it to Paris. Even when you’re having a bad day, the city is looking great.” (Episode 2)

- “It’s funny how you become the things you hate.” (Episode 3)

- “Well, I guess all those endless selfies are finally paying off.” (Sylvie - Episode 5) 

- “Plus he sent over some champagne. (Emily) - “Finally, someone who understands my needs.” (Mindy - Episode 5)

- “I thought you were gonna be a professional polo player. You know we used to call you Nacho?” (Mindy - Episode 5 - GG reference too)

- “Sexy. Why am I never around when anything good happens?” (Episode 5)

- “What Am I supposed to do? An affair? (Emily) - You saw two girls kissing at a party. You need to get out more. Okay, Emily Jane Cooper, occupe-toi de tes oignons.” (Mindy - Episode 5)

- “Just because I was raised rich doesn’t mean I don’t love a free sample.” (Mindy - Episode 5)

- “Yeah, well, you’re American, she’s Australian, you colluded.” (Sylvie - Episode 5) 

- “Are you serious? I... I am so tired of apologizing for who I am. I can’t change my past. If you’ll always resent me for it, maybe we don’t have a future.” (Mindy - Episode 5)

- “It’s not “either or”, Camille. Are we really here to just love one person?” (The artist - Episode 6) 

- “I don’t understand. You’re married to him and having an affaire with me or you’re in a relationship with me having an affair with your husband.” (Erik - Episode 6)

- “I mean, is this really necessary? (Alfie) - Luxury is a necessity that begins when necessity ends. (Antoine) - Mmm. Coco Chanel.” (Emily - Episode 6)

- “Why don’t guys tell you what they’re thinking? - And save us the mystery?” (Episode 7)

- “What do you think of the quality? (Pierre) - Honestly? - Brutally.” (Pierre - Episode 7)

- “They’ve turned me into a clown trapped in a funhouse mirror.” (Pierre - Episode 7)

- “Wow, this is so surreal. I feel like we’re walking into heaven on acid.” (Emily - Episode 7)

- “Come on, seriously? In this? (Mindy) - You look incredible tonight. Every man there was checking you out. (Nicolas) - Yeah, except for you. (Mindy) - Believe me, I noticed. It took every ounce of willpower not to make a spectacle of myself.” (Nicolas - Episode 7)  

- “The only time I’ve heard Sylvie say “Merveilleux” was about a Chablis.” (Luc or Julien - Episode 7)

- “The men may be gone, but the brands persist.” (Episode 7) - “More times than I care to remember.” (Episode 7)

- “You can feel as guilty as you want, but not everything happens because you make it happen. - Well, except for this. This was definitively you.” (Episode 8) 

- “Well, he did sustain some injuries, Gregory, so we need to treat this with the sensitivity it deserves.” (Episode 8)

- “I love you both. - And I’m going to end up with nothing.” (Episode 8)

- “Who do you want to go to bed with” (Julien - Episode 8)

- “In love? I can’t believe he said that. (Mindy) - He was drunk.” (Emily) - Sure, but alcohol doesn’t make people lie. Kind of the opposite.” (Mindy - Episode 8)

- “True elegance is found in simplicity.” (Episode 8)

- “It died the moment I sold my soul to JVMA.” (Pierre - Episode 8)

- “Pierre is a respected talent any you only bought his company to toss him out like the trash. - If you can do that to him, you can do that to me. You can do that to anyone.” (Episode 8)

- “Do you have any idea what you just lost? (Louis de Leon) - Something I never wanted. A relationship with you.” (Sylvie - Episode 8)

- “I just made an enemy of the most powerful family in fashion.” (Sylvie - Episode 8)

- “Let’s not become one of those couples that spend more time analyzing their relationship than being in one.” (Alfie - Episode 9)

- “Do you know why this works so well? We get to be together and still do everything we want. We should be enjoying ourselves every second we can. Life is short.” (Episode 9)

- “Hell of a “welcome home”, mate.” (Alfie - Episode 9)

- “Yeah, well, every couple hits that point. It’s either time to break it off or commit to each other. You’re either in or you’re out.” (Alfie - Episode 9)

- “Only the two people involved know what they are to each other. You knew everything about every single piece. - No, you just didn’t know anything.” (Episode 9)

- “Can I get the recipe for that? (Emily) - Recipe? There are no recipes. It’s not a list of things. It’s a feeling. You just know when something is right and when something is wrong.” (Gabriel’s grandmother - Episode 10)

- “His ex-girlfriend, Marianne.” (Julien) - Oh, which Marianne? (Sylvie) - I can neither confirm nor deny. (Luc) - Marianne number one. (Julien) - How did you know that?” (Luc - Episode 10)

- “It was not what she said, it’s what she did.” (Luc - Episode 10)

- “I hope you take as good care of her as I did. She deserves a good man. (Timothée) - I’ll certainly do my best.” (Alfie - Episode 10) 

- “Emily. Our secrets are what will keep us close. (Camille - Episode 10)

[findursoulmateorfindyourself]

its really still a problem. i am reading mark aurel which is all about focusing on urself and pracising kind hearted not comparing urself too others not envy and so on and then this stunning stunning stunning young woman comes, dark hair teint skin beuatifuk mouth beuatofuk smile suoer young oerfect akin very beautifuk body but akk in a very subtle way. she smiles to me i smile bavk i admire her but and this sistrubs me i still envy her. i wish i had her beauty and her eaziness soorit the effortless sex appeal. next to her i feek old, wasted and kind of trying to be ridicule. i need to wear rhose toght things to he recognized I need to really ahoe my hody but she is not doing anything kf jt and still glowing. but it ahoukd he omay and i ahoukd not feek bad aboht mysekf just because she js suoer stunning. why am i doing it. its all just to put myself down. but i knkw irs a fact a fact i just oainky should accept and mkve on. be grateguk for the bidy i am in as i an prraching everyday and saying hoe much i love myself now. apparently i am not there yet. hiw can i get over it and just recognize and cherish her beuaty fulk stop. i dont hate her fir being behaitfuk i just wish it coukd be me instead. i think my kifr woukd be so much better if i looked like that but what woukd be better? i know she is a beautifuk kind soul the way she smiles gives jt off. its not like i would be taking this beautiful body and losing a beautiful character bc she clearly has it all…so what am i scared for. the man or woman I like, likes her better fir her beauty and her character? so it be, then it simply means they are a better match. if she is oreferred for something like getting into a club I am not, so it be. it is not my oath to be in this club as it is not my path to be with this person. but then how to jot feel sorry for urself as it all just seems unfair. and i think this is the crucial part. everythingabout us is beautiful if we are doing it with a compass liek mark aurek out of honesty purity and kind hearted ness every little thought ( it is okay to be jealous I am not there yet) but I am really trying. I might bit get into the club, i should say c’est la vie, and might go hoke with a fresh mind crrating something amazing. it has the same value. or does it not? therr is no such thing as objectively speaking thats why POV became such a thing i guess but yes. lets try to oretend objectively which means a lot kf opinions gathered she is getting into the club meeting tons of amazing oeiple and sancing to incredibke music. over girl going home and chilking thwre no ine cates aboht her. but it is also with what aurek says caring about what ithers think and do its espeically the problem!! I inky have my now and here out if my eyes and my heart and it is supposed to be like that. and ofc im thinkinf hundert peopke consider it to he better like this or like that basically this is how democracy works, how can I vakidate my own opinion as much as them 100 if it comes to, it is the same good to be rejected and go hike than be in the club? its the same old same okd question about. which opinion values how can i crrate my value without the measurements of others. i am always coming to this. i sint want peiple to think i am a narcisisit egoman if i dont give a fuck aboht theyre opinions amd weigh mine way higher. it is trucky to maneuver in that mindest without becomung ignorant. but at the same time i dont want to live through grow through prosper thorigh affirmation hell no that aounds like hell. i want to affirm mysekf. it is maybe because ut is the sustainabke way. when we think about rivers and flyids which i cam to visualize when we had a saying about einfluss neglej und beeinflussen which also inckudes the river interesntinfky and aurel is talking alout aboht the stream and i think it is pary of live as blood is streaming through our veines and we need ghe water and the fluids, the circulation is life. bht coming back to the asoect of sustainabikty. listen imagine your own body giving ur own body ur own bacteria ur own blood cells when we tal

lol my paragrpah was maxed oht i do too much bla bla. but yes if we i somt want to go into biologism to much i never want to dsocirmante bodies espeicalky when it comes to genetics we always have to he carefuk to not get into any natuonalism discimnating fucked up shit. but I think my own body loves theri own system the most and it csn get a lot of her own system. its a little bit maybe kets talk about skin its better. my dahrer always refused to wash us too much as babies and in general he as this pladoyer: ur own bidy crrates fat that oeitect the skin, washing it away sith oerfumed shampoo gel to then out chemical body lotion sossnt seem to be an enhancement for the skin seems pretty ligicak to me. I mean everyone has their own bekiefs and ways but I kove to appreciate what my vody creates and what my body does. I know i am talking aboht an abled healthy skin ans i know some peiple just love to smeell like thousand rose leafs. byt i find that metaphor pretty good for also souk stuff. what my own body gives to my body is because it is healthy important disclaimer sensefull and good for me. it pribably matches my needs better than any artificial or natural product which fits affirmation from outside. of course fhe cream snells nice i feek fresh but then, my bidy get used to this crram wnats more of this crram and stips crrating its own fat to protect the skin maybe. I always have to buy this cream and its exterior, it will never last. i need it nee alk the time

i need rhat affirmation it feeks good but it wont last, my own afformation whereby comes naturally fits my needs and it is independent on any outer things. and this is why the value for me of my own affirmation wighs heavier than any of other people. i feel free and i feel good avoht jt but ifc still i am here comoaring mayelf to a maybe 19 year old woman that i wikk never be and never was. and its okay like fhaf but i need ti remind myself and i am disappointed inmyself still that it affects me so much and my head us gilled aitb it instead kf kther thints. but at the same time i lay down write this down and reflect on it so i hope i pray but i also

know that the next time i get inti a situation like that ill feel differently. I see feel hear taste the world thourgh my eyes and I love that I appreciate so many good food so much so many nice music ao many beuatofuk animals buidlings chikdrens families situations ( sometimes i dont of course madness, sexism, racism exploitation hatred and injsutice of the workd) but Its all meant for me. and i need tk accept and allrecate this. trhough my mind baby through my mind and love ur mind, it diesnt mean you think her mind sucks, it is beautifuk for sure, but its her mind her life her feelings hers and its good to see ssomeone havinf it like that its just an insoiratuon and a joy if beuaty and smiles which is for free and contagious( but Its all meant for me. and i need tk accept and allrecate this.

[takerfoxx]

Okay, Rebuild of Evangelion 3.0 + 1.0, Thrice Upon a Time! The final Rebuild film, the definitive grand finale of one of the most popular, influential, controversial, and utterly batshit anime series there is. The Eva swan song of Hideki Anno himself, who was both made and broken by this franchise several times over! It is finally done. We got our closure.

So what did I think?

...

I kinda loved it.

Yup, it's good! Kind of great in some ways. Perfect? Hell no. Problems? Things that bugged me? Things I would have done differently? Most certainly yes.

But that's kind of the authentic Evangelion experience, isn't it? A messy story with a troubled production that is equal engaging, inspired, flawed, brilliant, horrifying, heartbreaking, problematic, thought-provoking, exhilarating, and just about every other adjective you can think of, good or bad. It will draw you in. It will break you. And it will ultimately end on a bizarre note that leaves you unsatisfied in a manner that you just can't get out of your head.

But before all that, let's start off with me gushing. Mari in Paris slaying rogue Evas with the Effiel-freaking tower? Bad. Ass. I know Anno's built up this reputation for offering something unapologetically cool only to yank it away, but let's face it: the man does love his robots, and he does deliver when he feels like it.

And after that, we get what is probably my favorite extended sequence in any incarnation of Evangelion, ever. And that's the whole part taking place at the survivors' village.

I. Fucking. LOVED that whole bit. Following Rei Q as she slowly became part of that community, how they welcomed her and helped her learn how to be a person, to form connections and make decisions for herself. Her childlike curiosity and joy in learning how to do simple tasks was soul food that hit like only the best comfort sequence of a hurt/comfort story could. And seeing grown-up versions of Kensuke, Touji, and Hikari, now with jobs and families and all that? Yes, please.

Granted, there were parts that...weren't so heartwarming. I'm used to seeing Shinji going into comatose states, especially after Kaworu's inevitable death, but the bit where Asuka force-feeds him was...really uncomfortable! Kensuke. Dude. I know you mean well, but maybe sticking those two in the same house when he's in that state wasn't the brightest idea.

Still, I should have learned. Every time Rei starts to reach out and connect with others, she dies, and this was no different. Yeah, that hurt. I should have seen it coming. I've seen it play out before, should've anticipated it happening here. Damn.

And...fuck. Seeing all those decapitated Rei heads made me hate Gendo even more than I already did. Good job getting the crowd to cheer for the good guys, I suppose.

Though, hey. Does the big decapitated Rei head and those other flashbacks mean that End of Evangelion did actually happen more or less, just without Shinji's involvement? Did almost everyone get turned into tang, Asuka eaten by the mass-produced Evas, and then washed up on the shore to fortunately not get strangled?

Okay, skipping ahead to the finale. It was big, it was tense, it had me going, "C'mon! I just lost Rei! Don't take Asuka away too!" But she went down. Again. Yeah, that's when I made my always watching the red and blue girls die post.

I admit, I got really tense when the crew held Shinji and Misato and gunpoint. Not that I expected them to shoot Shinji, but I was worried that something might kill them. Like, we've only known them for a little bit, but I do like them, and c'mon, nobody wants to see Touji's little sister die. Fortunately that doesn't happen, but it did have me concerned.

Though Gendo's brain blow? Yeesh.

Finally, we get Shinji vs. Gendo! You know, there are two ways they could have played this. First, give us what we've been wanting for years with an actual robot fight, or they could instead go with the more Evangelion route with something more cerebral.

Fortunately, they are smart and gave us both. The robot fight was cool (erm, mostly, but I'll get to that later), but the real meat is when they stop fighting and start talking, giving us that long overdue heart-to-heart we've been waiting more than two decades for.

I'll admit, I hate Gendo. Not in that he's a bad character, but he is so thoroughly infuriating that I just wanted to see him lose. But when we finally let him explain himself and got to see what he was like growing up, I'll admit, I did start to feel for him. Like him, I also have trouble making connections and shun the company of other people. I could empathize. I mean, not in the part about falling in love, but the rest of it? I got it.

And yeah, when he finally admitted that he was wrong and hugged Shinji, that got to me a little. Like, the man is still a monster, but given this show's history, that moment meant a lot. Granted, it wasn't a redemption, as he had done way too much to really be redeemed. But it was a reformation of sorts. Personally, I don't think he deserved to be reunited with Yui, but I'll let that bit go.

Rei! Yeah, I was glad to see Rei Prime. Long hair looks good on her! Damn, was she just chilling with Yui all those years?

After that is just so much emotional catharsis. We get to say goodbye to all these characters, say goodbye to Evangelion in general (seriously, that scene with all of the liberated souls really hit me), and Shinji finally gets the happy ending he always wanted. He resets the world for good, erasing both Angels and Evas, letting everyone get a chance at life. We glimpse Asuka, Kaworu, and Rei alive and well in the train station, with a now grown-up Shinji and Mari playfully flirting, as happy as can be. It's done. They won. We won. We can finally say goodbye.

Okay, criticism time!

Firstly, let's briefly touch base with stuff I've brought up about the last few movies. First, even with the advancements in technology since the first movie, the CG was all over the place. Sometimes it looked fine, other times it was like a PS1 cutscene. The ice breaking was particularly bad, as was all those mannequin Rei's. The Shinji vs. Gendo fight was well-directed, but man, the animation quality just did not measure up, especially when it would cut to the traditionally animated characters. The freaky Rei face could go either way, since it was meant to be disturbing, but even still.

The soundtrack issue wasn't as bad as before, and most of the time it did work quite well, but it could still get distracting at times.

And finally, okay, let's talk about this one last time. Firstly, it does seem I got Anno mixed up a little with Miyazaki when it comes to not liking Otaku and their boob fascination. Anno's issue was how abusive people were to him for the original finale of Evangelion and for finding Rei cute rather than creepy (that last one was kind of his fault, though), and the guy is perfectly okay with boobs. Okay, fair enough. But did'ja have to have so many creepshots? Nudity itself is fine, as it showed how detached both Rei and Asuka were from humanity, but some of those camera angles, man. Like, dude.

Well, whatever. It's a problem with all anime. Moving on.

Okay, let's talk about Mari!

Now, I got introduced to her mainly through fanfics and doujins, and she's pretty much accepted as part of the gang now, so I had a pretty good grasp on her personality at least. And let's face it: it's cool to finally have someone with no baggage who just thinks that piloting an Eva is awesome!

Still, I was surprised by how little of her there was. Like, I expected her to be a bigger deal. I get that they didn't want to get complaints of her being the Poochie by overshadowing the classic characters, but if she was Shinji's endgame (which, I'll admit, is still probably the best option for him, or at least the one with the least amount of baggage), then couldn't they have interacted more before then? Like, built up an actual relationship? She had more romantic tension with Asuka, to be frank. And if you hadn't looked her up and learned of her backstory like I did, you would've been confused as fuck when she popped up in Gendo's flashback or what the hell was going on during her talk with Fuyutsuki.

I'm not saying she should just push Asuka off to the side or anything. Just...give us enough to justify her being there, that's all.

As for Asuka...eh, her new backstory doesn't really work for me. Like, we already have a clone with a cloning complex. Having another doesn't make much sense, to be honest. Like, it explained her motivations okay, but I just feel her original backstory was more potent.

And finally, let's talk about the ending! Is it a lovely ending that felt earned? Kind of! Was it kind of unsatisfying? A little. Is it the ending I would have gone with? Nope!

Look, you know me. I like for things to have consequences, and to be frank, a full reset to create a world where everyone is alive and happy feels a little too neat.

So what would I have done? Well, I would still have done the (almost) everyone lives thing. Like, Asuka gets reformed and ejected like we saw. Give us a scene where Rei is absorbing the souls or essences or whatever from all the other Rei's and have her be reborn into a new body THAT DOESN'T TURN INTO TANG! Have Shinji make his wish or whatever to erase Angels and Evas, but NOT reset the world.

Like, sure, have Mari come in and save him and Rei, and they all get out. Have Asuka's escape pod wash up on a beach and let her out, and she finds Shinji, Rei, and Mari lying not far off, maybe have her give Shinji a small smack as comedic payback for the strangling thing, then they all link arms and walk off toward the village. Then over the credits, we can see what almost looked like was going to happen. The AAA Wunder's crew returns to the village, Sakura and Touji get a big hug, Ritsuko tells Misato's son about his mother's sacrifice and comforts him. The rest of the pilots arrive and are greeted by everyone, with Mari hamming it up, Asuka looking annoyed, Shinji embarrassed, while Rei is looking around in confusion like she recognizes the place. Maybe have Hikari and her kid give her a big hug or something.

Then we get a montage of the LCL slowly dissolving all over the world, cities being purified, the oceans being cleaned, and those Ark pods from the AAA Wunder starting new life. We see the kids...well, maybe not get older (Eva curse and all that), but maturing and participating in rebuilding the world. Forests are planted, animals repopulate, things are healing. Then as an after-credit scene we can have Shinji and Mari flirting in the train station to show that everything turned out all right.

But that's what I would do, not what Anno would do. And Evangelion has very much been Anno's story in every possible way, and to him, it was important to create a world completely without Evangelions. So how could I be mad?

So, this wraps up Neon Genesis Evangelion! And on the whole, I'm pretty damned satisfied. It was a messy journey, and I'm glad of it. And you know what? I'd say these movies actually bumped Evangelion up several places in my favorite anime list. Like, top five, possibly.

Hideki Anno? You crazy bastard, you did it. You actually ended Evangelion. It took you three tries, but you finally pulled it off.

So, what else is there to say, except...

[flames-memory]

Monday morning

BC took me to this cool fancy mall, and we had dinner. It was fun, just nice to have a cozy moment, have dinner. We went home and snuggled to sleep.

Night

Billy asked BC to run the club tonight, he had something come up. She did great, people were dancing and moshing. The music was great. It wasn't the big crowd of opening night, but I thought it was decent. BC was worried it was too quiet.

Tuesday morning

Mistress took me back to the same club as the first time with Faye. I wrote the blindfold, and I could hear all the people there, but it didn't matter. I didn't care as much, since I couldn't see them. It was intense and, of course, amazing.

Tuesday

I am NOT. Soo... Weird dreams. Eliza was there with BC when I woke up, they had dinner ready, or mostly eaten. It was nice to chat, but for some reason I didn't really want to..

Yeah that's a lie. I didn't feel as comfortable around Eliza. I think she's nice, but I'm not fully comfortable with her, knowing how she prioritized BC recently. I don't need her in my problems.

Sniffing, running, city, trees, Hellions... Smashed.. ha.. fire doesn't hurt... Searching... But not.. no.. no longer desperately. Curiously. Familiar. Uncomfortable.

What's all that? That's all I got right now. That and.. "Not". I am Not. A name??

Whatever. I'll figure it out. It doesn't seem to be imminent disaster.

I need a better schedule. When Eliza said she was going to Black Cat, I wanted to throttle her. WTF?

I don't understand people.

I can't straight out understand, so my brain comes up with maybes.

Maybe Eliza is mad cuz I butted in.

BC been busy a lot, really, the last few weeks. With Faye, with other people sometimes. I never know for sure. I certainly didn't mind, I was aware when I got involved with her that she was a busy person. At least I could look forward to seeing her when she wasn't . Everywhere we go out seems there's someone she's close to. Some of them are friendly. I finally have a few people i'm starting to 'know', people I can have a conversation with. I'm seeing Mark around more, and Andres and I are slowly becoming friends, although he's a busy little spark himself.

I feel like I year Max as backup. His plan b joke been bugging me, since he's not all wrong. I tried to make it up to him, even if he didn't mean it, by giving him some focus, and luckily, BC turned out to have 'throuple' dates with Eliza and Sebastian a bunch since they been back from Paris, so it worked out pretty well.

Till today.

I took a job I didn't have to, thinking she had movie plans with Eliza. Why? I think she did one night, way back when, and somehow Tuesdays are always weird, and other than it one night at the movies, I just thought it was like, their thing.

And I hate to say it, but I'm not eager to hang out with Eliza yet. I guess I have to forgive her for putting BC through some unnecessary shit first.

If it had been Faye, it wouldn't have been the same. Although... Here's more maybes now.

Maybe things seem weird and tense cuz we're worried about Faye. Maybe Faye being missing means suddenly, BC has a bunch of free time. Maybe I'm not sure where that thought leads, but I wish Faye were back, so I didn't get too used to BC being bored and lonely, for ME to get used to having so much of her time before Faye comes back. Faye's going to be around a lot more, which means everything will change, as far as our schedules and when we see each other, I think.

I'm not good at this stuff. I wish I was. I know I love them, but I'm scared I'm not enough for both, and I'm not willing to lose either. Imma just fuck it up till one chooses to leave me, I guess.