#im totally and completely and utterly FINE

[cheryls-blossomed]

“We have a daughter.” “Yeah” We make a person.”

[thefootnotes]

im trying to hold onto you cause everybody leaves.

[technicolorxsn]

finished gideon the ninth this morning then was busy all day so it hasn't rly Hit Me yet....

[cometblaster2070]

alright here we go, we're going to talk about raven for a bit, because there are some people saying strange, strange things about HER of all people.

(slight disclaimer: this is not an apple white hate post; she is also the loml and both her and raven are wonderful, nuanced characters)

i've seen a couple of people (before you ask, yes, it is those apple white defenders) talk about how utterly selfish raven was being. how she was completely uncooperative and unwilling towards apple, how rude she was, what a terrible friend and a terrible person she was in general she was to everyone (but especially apple gasp), and most of all, raven is completely and utterly selfish for refusing to see apple's viewpoint and for refusing to at least hear apple out.

LIKE IM SORRY?? DID WE WATCH THE SAME SHOW?? DID WE SEE THE SAME CHARACTERS??

AH YES, MY MISTAKE, RAVEN WAS COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY SELFISH FOR NOT WANTING TO FOLLOW IN HER VILLANOUS MOTHER'S FOOTSTEPS AND HARM THE PEOPLE SHE LOVES AND CARES ABOUT.

she's also definitely wrong and completely selfish to even consider wanting to have a happy, peaceful life for herself, instead of poisoning her best friend and ending up hated, alone and chained up like a monster.

my bad guys; i misunderstood the show, clearly it was raven who was the selfish one for not acquiescing to apple's request of poisoning her and ending up miserable for the rest of her life.

jokes aside, like, i don't even know how to explain how wrong this is. not only is it completely outlandish to make the argument that raven is wrong and selfish for wanting to NOT end up in magic jail, but it's so strange to demonize her in this particular way??

LIKE WOW WONDER WHY SHE WOULDN'T WANT THIS DESTINY.

raven's defining character trait throughout the show and the books and any other form of media she's associated with is her kindness, her gentleness, her willingness to do the right thing and how she sincerely just wants to help people, and completely loathes the fact that people see her as nothing more than evil and they see her as someone dangerous.

raven is shown to be someone who would literally rather die on the spot than hurt someone or willingly cause them pain, she has also continuously shown guilt over her mother's previous actions (particularly Wonderland); and another thing we're shown time and time again, is that although she disagrees with apple, she loves her so, so much and would do ANYTHING for her.

LET'S ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW RAVEN WAS CONSTANTLY EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATED THROUGH EAH BY LITERALLY EVERYONE??? LIKE THIS GIRL COULD NOT CATCH A BREAK, IF MADDIE WASN'T THERE SHE WOULD'VE SNAPPED SO FAST IM NOT EVEN KIDDING.

side tangent on this: woman spent her wishing well coin on asking if her friends would be fine if she didn't sign, PLEASE I LOVE HER.

like we had GRIMM of all people on her ass constantly threatening her with going 'poof' and ruining everyone's lives, and oh yes, he took the one thing she had from her mother and gave her that horrific wishing well vision, and then, she had ALLLL the royals telling her how horrible she was for not signing and dooming them all, and then we still have apple, who was constantly reminding her to sign and asking why she didn't and how she should've and whatever whatever; you get the point but STILL.

like i sincerely have trouble understanding why we're demonizing raven rn over wanting to choose her own happiness for once, over a lifetime of literal TORMENT AND SUFFERING.

and consistently throughout the show, we are also shown how apple is in the wrong; apple is a very nuanced character yes, and there's a lot of valid reasons that explain why she has the worldview that she does, and does the things that she does, but it doesn't take away the fact that apple is wrong, and throughout eah, we are shown apple realizing and then later accepting that she's wrong and raven's views and actions are valid and right.

i mean, we even get other characters who were diehard royals acknowledging raven's terrible situation and sympathizing with her; case in point, briar in thronecoming.

lastly, on the point of her not listening to apple or hearing her out, girl, like i love apple sm; but her entire point throughout the earlier seasons was 'oh raven why won't you poison me so you can go to prison and i can get my happily ever after like we're supposed to?'; like apple is also shown to be entirely unreasonable in the earlier seasons to raven being like 'haha hey, this is kind of fucked up, don't you think??' and again, apple has valid reasons for this, but it doesn't take away the fact that she was wrong and that there is really no reason for raven to be demonized over THIS of all things???

tl;dr: raven queen is a wonderful character; apple white would beat your ass if you're talking shit about her (like not in being like "oh i don't like this character" way, in this particular clown way), and demonizing raven for being 'selfish' is WILDDD.

[bleekay]

so like. im trying to understand this ok. some people get "mental images" when trying to think of something, and there's this spectrum right, between not having a mental "image" at all to being able to clearly and vividly conjure an image in your mind, and maybe it's just because i lie on the former side of the spectrum there, but i don't get how someone can actually make a picture in their mind. i conceptualize without a mental "image." i know that i know what something looks like, and if i saw it, i'd be like yeah that's what i was thinking about. but actually trying to create some picture of it in my head without looking at it is like... maybe impossible for me? i don't know how to do that.

and i hadn't thought too much about it before, every time i saw the comparison chart, i was like, surely i have some mental image, right? i'm thinking about what it looks like, so maybe even though i don't have any details about it, that's still an image. but that's wrong. i only see what my eyes see. but now i'm so in my own head about it, i'm like, well maybe they don't literally mean you can see it, because isn't seeing what you do with your eyes, so how could you "see" something otherwise. i'm so utterly confused about it.

as an artist, maybe this is a really weird thing to not be able to do? because i literally cannot visualize in my head what something is going to look like before i start drawing it. i start drawing almost every piece with no plan whatsoever. lately i've started thinking maybe that's why commissions are sooooo extremely difficult for me, why i need either total creative freedom "anything's fine, just these characters" or the most detailed image description ever in order to complete a commission, which i'm usually never satisfied with the outcome of either way

[our-death-means-flag]

izzy hands x reader where like him, they get up with the sun and work all day but unlike him, they get intense migraines when they’re overwhelmed. this can be literally as short as you want it to be im just so anxious lately and my head hurts like hell

For Professional Reasons

Ship: Izzy Hands x Reader Summary: When you’re not up when you usually wake up, Izzy goes to check on you. For totally professional reasons. Warnings: Izzy

Izzy woke up before the sun as usual. He got ready quickly and headed up to the deck and noticed something was off immediately. Usually you’d be there to greet him. The idea of having two first mates on a ship felt utterly ridiculous but the Revenge was utterly ridiculous in a lot of ways. At least you actually were competent. All of his yelling did nothing but as soon as you asked gently, the crew would leap to do whatever you asked. It was ridiculous. But you were… fine. It was almost nice to have someone up with him early in the morning. The two of you would drink your coffee or tea together and it was nice. Hell, sometimes you were awake before him and he’d walk on deck to see you already working, usually with a cup of coffee all ready for him. For you to not be up already working was incredibly bizarre. 

He briefly considered waiting for you but his mind was already buzzing with everything horrible that could have happened. Fuck it. He was going to go get you.

 Izzy tried to rationalize it as just a part of his duty. He needed to check on you for completely professional reasons. Definitely. 

He already had a hand on his sword as he knocked on the door of your cabin. He’d knocked on your door before and you’d always been quick to cheerfully invite him in. So not getting a response was concerning.  Sword drawn, he decided that he was going in. If anything had happened to you, he would raise hell. For completely professional reasons. Izzy pushed the door open and rather than some terrible scene all he saw was you curled up in your bunk, pillow wrapped around your head. 

“Y/N?” He asked. His voice came out much gruffer than he meant to. 

“Hmm? Yeah?” You mumbled sleepily. Then your eyes widened as you seemed to recognize him. You jumped, immediately sitting up and looking much more out of order than he’d ever seen. “Shit! Izzy! Fuck! I’m late right? I’m so incredibly sorry!”

You managed to stumble to your feet and grab your jacket before Izzy fully realized how terrible you looked. You looked like you hadn’t slept in a while (despite having just rolled out of bed) and you had one hand clutched to your head even as the other fumbled with the buttons on your jacket. Izzy had no clue how to deal with this. Were you sick? Hurt?

“Y/N?” He asked again softer this time.

You were still kind of mumbling about being sorry. Clearly you weren’t going to listen so he grabbed you by the shoulders and all but shoved you back in bed. That seemed to snap you out of it somewhat. You still had one hand on your temple. “Iz, I’m sorry. I’ll be right up, I promise.” You restated, conviction  clear in your tone.

“What’s wrong with you?” Izzy asked and immediately felt bad when you flinched. That sounded so much more like an insult than an honest attempt to ask what’s wrong. You looked moments away from apologizing again and Izzy felt like he might drop dead if you kept apologizing to him when he’s the one being a dick. “No, fuck… That sounded… Fuck. Are you… Are you alright?” He tried.

You gave him one of those patient smiles that made him want to hurl himself into the ocean because of how they made his heart jump.  “I’m… I’m fine. It’s just… Just a migraine.” You shrugged, making Izzy realize he still had his hands on your shoulders. He instantly let go but you just smiled as if you didn’t mind at all. “I get them sometimes. Especially when I’m overwhelmed and yesterday…” You smiled, any casualness you were attempting to portray made moot by your obvious wince.. “Yesterday was a lot.”

Izzy could definitely see where you were coming from there. The crew had done two raids almost back to back when their target ship was sailing with another smaller ship. It had gone well with only minor injuries but it had been utterly draining. Even Bonnet was too exhausted for his ridiculous storytime and (rather than complaining as they usually would) the crew didn’t even make a fuss. But you’d seemed fine. 

Although… Now that he thought about it. You had still been working by the time he’d gone to bed. “Did you sleep at all?” 

You looked almost guilty, like a kid who got caught staying up too late. “Not really. Maybe an hour or two. Usually can’t sleep when I have them… Hurts.” 

“That bad?” 

“Feels like I took a cannonball to the skull at point blank.” You chuckled, humorlessly.

Izzy hissed in sympathy. He knew a thing or two about being kept up by pain. 

“I really can be up on deck in a few minutes. I won’t make you take double duty ‘cause of me.” You offered. You seemed more worried about inconveniencing him than your own pain.

“No.” Izzy replied firmly. “You are going to stay here. Lie down. I’m sure I can handle the idiots for one day on my own. Hell, maybe if I told them that you wanted them to do their chores they’d actually do them.” He felt oddly satisfied when that got a slight chuckle out of you.

“Iif the crew gets too rowdy, feel free to drag them in here and I’ll look all pathetic and sad. Might work.” You added with a small smile. 

Izzy rolled his eyes but it probably would work…  “Is there anything that can help with your migraines?”

You smiled again and Izzy was feeling incredibly unprofessional. “Thanks. A cold compress would be good if that’s not too much of a pain…”

“I’ll get one.” Izzy nodded, already planning ahead how to make sure you got fresh compresses throughout the day. “And when Roach is up, I;ll get you something light to eat.” He offered.

“Thank you. Just… If there’s an emergency, don’t hesitate to come get me, okay?” You sighed and lied down.

“Of course.” Izzy lied, well aware that he wouldn’t bother you unless the ship was actively on fire and/or sinking.

As Izzy turned to leave, he was stopped dead in his tracks by a soft hand grabbing his ungloved hand. He turned to see you smiling. “Thanks Iz.” You said, your tone soft and kind and genuinely grateful. “It really means a lot.”

He gripped your hand back for a moment before catching himself and letting go. “You’re welcome… Now just lie down…”

Izzy all but ran out of your cabin, closing the door as softly as he was able, trying to push the thoughts of how soft your hand was and how gentle your smile was out of his mind. 

The way he traced his palm where you’d touched his hand, was irrelevant.. He was just helping you out. First mate to first mate. Totally for professional reasons. That was all. 

A/N: I get migraines too and this was as much for me as it was for you, anon. Hope you enjoy

[chaosandthe-deadblog]

you know i wasn't going to do this, but fuck it, you guys deserve to know

this year was a rollercoaster for me. i used to think it would be a bad one, but i can tell now how important this all was. (warning: sappy stuff under the cut)

something happened to me earlier this year, something that made me lose a part of who I was. i had defined myself by the "light" or someone else, and when i lost them i was left in the dark with very little direction on what to do with myself. it was bad. i felt blind. i felt like i would never recover. i felt like i was blinded by an artificial light pretending to be the sun. poetic, i know, but i felt completely and utterly lost

a lot has changed since then.

i guess that event pushed me to a lot of things. i started seeing my friends more out of a desire to not be alone, i got a discord account to talk to a friend more... and that led me to find a server that i love with my entire heart. to the people of the Sonic Library, you changed my life, you quite literally helped me more than you know this year. love is the point of it all.

because if there was something that i had to figure out this year is who i am. who i am when i'm not clinging to someone else, who i am when i'm alone and free to be myself. who i am, down to the very foundation. because i'd forgotten, because i needed to remember and redefine who i was.

i didn't change my name for nothing.

it was my first attempt at separating myself from an identity i had built around a light that went out, it was my way of setting free and deciding that i was fine on my own. my own light, if you will.

im not totally done, im still young, im still seventeen going on eighteen this year and defining who i am. but im closer than ever.

i am an artist, and that's just part of it. i am a writer, i discovered that recently. i am a friend who gives more than he needs to. i am a fan of sonic, that might seem silly, but its more important to me than you could imagine. i am passionate to a dangerous degree. i am finally surrounded by people who love me. i am the sun that burns when angry and warms your skin when it's cold, i'm the sun that comes up in the morning despite how long and how dark the night is, the sun that keeps shining, the sun that is bright and loud and doesnt apologize for taking up space. and this one will sound silly, but i am all of me.

i'm solsticio, sol for short. and i can finally say that with confidence.

[gerardspuppy]

jim and tarsus iv

so. ahem. i actually have many more thoughts on this.

in his autobiography kirk says that tarsus was the reason he decided to join starfleet,, and also that as a kid he would obsessively follow the rules to the extent of throwing his best friend under the bus because of a singular mistake. like that’s a massively dick move. 

but it makes much more sense when you consider that he joined starfleet because of a massive trauma that stemmed from someone not following protocols, from thinking that they could do better and that their ideas were the universal right. yes he’s obsessed with the rulebook as a young adult because he’s seen what happens when people break those rules. i think it’s less so a direct ‘i might become Kodos’, and more like ‘i’ve seen the extreme damage this thing can do, and i’d do anything to prevent that’

then he gets his own command, a starship over which he essentially has total control, and that forces him to realize that command is really not as simple as he thought. that sometimes to save people you do have to break or bend the rules, and that things are never so black and white as he imagined. so he eventually becomes much more confident in his own judgement and decides to learn from the mistakes of others rather than being terrified of making the wrong choice. and bones (and spock too, although they were less close at the start of the five year mission) for sure helps him with this by trusting his judgement but also offering criticism when necessary. so by the time TOS starts we meet a Kirk who is much more confident in his personal judgement, and is also in a situation over which he has complete control rather being under the command of others.

that would also explain why he seems to treat Kodos with much more sympathy in the Conscience of the King that should be expected given everything. he’s grown as a person, and begun to more so understand what it’s like to be in a desperate situation with so many people relying on you, and even if Kodos was completely in the wrong, he can at least understand a little more now.

i think it also explains why he takes being grounded for the three years after the mission so hard and why he’s so obsessed with having his own command. first of all, im sure he has some discomfort with being permanently planetside, because if something happens (like a famine....) he’s essentially trapped. as well as that on the enterprise he 1. was in total control of the ship and 2. had his crew/friends there to constantly keep him in check. 

at a desk he has no control over his situation and has to do whatever a superior officer tells him, which might’ve been fine with younger rule-obsessed kirk, but post mission kirk is much more confident and experienced. he can tell when a decision is wrong, whereas his younger self may have not had the knowledge or self assuredness to be able to tell. but he has to respect his superior officers, so he’s trapped in a situation where he witnesses things that he disagrees with but can’t do much about it. i think at this moment he understands the adults and Kodos’ followers on Tarsus much better as well w.r.t. that feeling of being utterly powerless. and the lack of control really gets to him because if something bad happens like on Tarsus he can do essentially nothing about it. yes, starfleet has internal regulations and such to prevent people taking advantage of their power, but the effects of ptsd aren’t exactly logical. it’s just a deep fear he can’t shake through reasoning.

then secondly he’s completely alone. for five years he lived in close contact with his crew, and he always had people around him he could consult when he wasn’t sure, who weren’t afraid to call him out. so to now suddenly be the face of starfleet or whatever and to have everyone fawning over him, and essentially no one he can rely on for constructive criticism... not fun. not to mention that both spock and (to a lesser extent) bones leave him. i think that’s why he gravitates to lori cianna, because she was one of the few people who didn’t treat him like a celebrity. and he knows exactly what happens to someone when they’re worshipped by everyone and have no source of feedback, so on one hand he’s trying to gather some control over a situation where he feels very powerless, but on the other hand his sense of security in his own judgement is beginning to fray. enough to drive anyone insane. so he just kind of. loses his sense of self. because he knows what he needs but he also doesn’t trust himself to have it.

then comes TMP, and he treats Decker like shit, but he’s also desperate because the past 3 years have essentially reinforced all the age old Tarsus trauma and he’s so so lonely and uncertain. and this might be the one chance he has to finally feel like himself again. but ofc the effects of the past three years are bleeding through, so in TMP he second guesses himself much more than in the series, more like he would’ve been at the start of the first mission.

anyway i think Tarsus is criminally underexplored in the movies/series. It explains a lot of decisions he makes, that without context seem kinda asshole-ish, and it also explains why he’s so obsessed with the enterprise. that ship represents happiness to him. his posting as captain is the only time he’s ever felt in control and confident in a situation.

but yeah. if anyone has more thoughts on this id love to hear them.

[cat-eclipse-m]

yay!!1 art challenge!! (gonna tag a few ppl 2 kickstart a chain if that's completely and totally and utterly legal of me) @radio-to-trenchcoat-demons @555cat @just-type-it @muldersfav + free

draw one of your ocs or your favourite fictional character(s) with this hairstyle!!! (side part)(my persona for reference)>>>

here are MY guys!!! from kill the dragon (ktd) on webtoons!! (KURO HASN'T COME BACK YET WTF GIVE HIM BACK)

...do not mind how all of them are shirtless i-

im fine totally

[taldigi]

I don't know if I completely agree with Futaba not fitting the theme. I mean, most heist films have a Hacker character that is an absolute genius and can do some utterly unrealistic but cool stuff. So I felt like she fit in just fine. Especially because, as of late, Hacker characters have become younger to play into the joke of young people being better at tech than old people with the older people needing to rely on kids for their elite Hacker skills. So I never got the impression that she was off theme. I can agree that Futaba gets a bit too much focus, but I wouldn't really consider that a fault of her character. Rather, a fault of the game as a whole as it struggles to handle the larger cast in the later half (with Makoto and Futaba overshadowing Ann, Yusuke, and Ryuji + the Mona/Ryuji arc being rushed alongside Haru's intro). The romance is bad, yes, but I don't think it's prevalent enough for me to be annoyed with it (a few lines that can be easily ignored). And I wouldn't say Futaba is mean to Mona, so much as her existence manages to make Mona feel insecure, so I never held that against the character nor did I feel Ryuji would be better suited for that role (as Mona never really viewed Ryuji as someone who could be a threat). As for the boundary pushing behavior... I don't know. Maybe it's because of the way they presented it (comedic + no on seeming to actually mind) that it didn't bother me.

While I disagree, I totally get where you're coming from!

It's just odd cause... the majority of Persona feels magical instead of scifi. Even the Metaverse Navigator app feels more magical than techy- which causes Futaba stand out so severely.

Did we need a hacker to fill in the thief archetypes? Maybe. But she should have been more of a looser and the narrative (which has been shockingly mature with all of it's characters) should have addressed it more.

Persona is anime coded and all of the characters are "beautiful" but i have... met real hackers and tech geeks and trust me she.. is not it.

Heck, she eats nothing but dad's curry and instant noodles. Her room was an actual dump. She might have actual muscle problems from not moving or leaving her room or getting sunlight. Instead, it adds to her initialization by making her pale, lanky, and fragile. She's meant to be the sexy shithead little sister that anime nerds love and it shows- and.. it works. People love her. So task successed failurely.

And, while I admit- All the other characters are complicit. Futaba really stands out as someone who fucked up and was insanely unapologetic about it... which, again.. would work but this is.. supposed to be after her change of heart, right?

Being mean isn't always an active choice. Even hard-coded kind characters like Ann are guilty of being mean to Morgana! (Morgana himself is mean!) and she absolutely did not intend it. While the narrative needed them to butt heads over the next palace, Leader Boy Joker should have been given a better option to step in or AT LEAST for Makoto to say something.

The Mona disappearance arc should have- NEEDED to be better handled. If they needed more days, story should have been gleaned or compounded. The beach episode could have been smushed together more, the hawaii thing could have been better (also yeah the hawaii thing was a SUCH wasted opportunity! You should have been able to buy rare items or visit tourist attractions for stats! Wasted for a dumb "wow phantom thieves are popular!" thing. It could have been both. IT COULD HAVE BEEN BOTH-)

As for the boundry thing.. well, im just hyperaware of the insidious nature of anime tropes. Even tho I hate it (if you touched me the way ppl touch ren I would probably reflexively hit you)- much akin death and taxes, sexy girls hanging off of everyman anime protags is indefinate and immortal- and the opinions of some nobody blogger who doesn't even really like "anime" isn't going to mean much.

Thanks for the reply, tho! It's nice to discuss things!

[uncanny-tranny]

i know this isnt usually what ppl send u but i look up to u and i love the way u see transness, im sure u can help. basically i got top surgery 4 months ago and im extremely unhappy with my results. not the surgeons fault, he warned me getting keyhole might require revisions, and im getting them in november, but i cant help feeling like ive failed my transition. i still have so much chest dysphoria. how to cope until november? it's unbearable, its all i think about; that i still have, u know...

Continued ask:

First of all, I feel the need to emphasize that this isn't your fault. You haven't failed at anything. It is okay not to be satisfied with your results right now, especially with a surgery that needs revisions. You are entirely allowed to seek those revisions, and while it's nice that other people think the results look fine, that doesn't outweigh that your opinion about your chest and how it looks is most important. You are not selfish or unreasonable to acknowledge this. I just really, really feel the need to say this because I worry that so many trans people are afraid to admit when they aren't totally satisfied with surgery because it takes a lot of effort and they want to show the "appropriately amount of happiness." This idea, however, isn't right and isn't fair. You are allowed to feel however you feel about your results; other people's opinions aren't a factor in that.

I will also state that I haven't had surgery yet, but I definitely would encourage you to build trust in yourself to express this. It's great that you have admitted how you think about the results. That's a big deal! I think, though, that it can be important to build trust in yourself to be able to be happy and satisfied. There may come a point where, after revisions, you are happy, and that's something I also noticed in your ask. I just think it can be helpful to internalize that hopefulness because it empowers you to know that this isn't permanent.

I also hope that you have a support network that is affirming and will listen. It's nice to be told that others think your chest is fine, and I'm sure they are completely genuine and mean it, but I think it's missing the point. It isn't about having a "cis chest" or a "good-looking chest," it's about having a chest that makes you happy. If you're able, I'd definitely make that clear if you haven't (no judgments if you haven't)

This is a tumultuous time, I'm sure. You deserve to be able to express the full range of your emotions however works best for you. But not for one second do I wish you feel that you have failed. There is nothing you failed at. Transition will always be a unique experience, for the better and worse. I just wish you peace along your journey. You are the most important part of your transition. Your body, your voice, your spirit all matter so immensely, no matter where you are in this part of transition. If there is nothing tangible I can do to help you with this, then I simply want to remind you of just how utterly you matter. I'm glad you were able to open up about this. It's so incredibly vulnerable and scary to admit, even though there is nothing bad about what you feel.

[thefirstknife]

It's starting to feel like there's an implicit understanding in the community that complaining about the game is one of the main ways to engage with it, and maybe is something newer players pick up as part of the 'haha even diehard destiny players hate destiny' narrative. =\

Im happy to see the playerbase growing, but dang, I wish there'd be a bit less of 'if you love this thing you'll be passionate about criticizing it' among some of the big personalities

Yeah. Destiny always had that whole joke like "The one thing Destiny players hate the most is Destiny." I never understood it. When I mildly disliked Destiny, I stopped playing. Genuinely cannnot fathom playing a game religiously while hating it. Mindboggling. I'm also somewhat salty that a lot of people "criticising the story" and latching onto this whole vibe have never actually been fans of the story or have never really paid attention to it.

Like, it feels somewhat strange to me that suddenly every single content creator, including those that were openly NEVER into the lore and even content creators who literally only play pvp and those that openly play with voicelines and subtitles off, are suddenly great experts on how this story apparently sucks. And of course followed by a million of their fans who have until yesterday only ever cared about meta weapons for Trials, but have overnight become lore masters who understand that the story was "bad."

I know people who ARE into lore and who had issues. I also know that there's a lot of new players who were probably utterly confused, though that's to be expected when you tune into the 9th year of the franchise. I'm totally fine with that and respect people who have a different view of the campaign and how it felt to them. And of course if any new players are super confused and have no idea where to start learning more... I sympathise. Greatly. And I'm happy to help! Obviously a lot of what people are discussing right now is really complicated and draws from super specific lore that might not be easy for a new player to understand right away. It will take some time and that's okay!

But when I see the amount of people blasting the story, I'm left thinking... Really? There were so many lore enjoyers out there all this time? You're telling me that twitter user xxTrialsHunterMain69420xx understands the problems with the narrative and can talk with authority on obscure lore references and how Bungie fucked them up? This is absolutely news to me, as most players have been dissing the story for years and if they weren't dissing, they just weren't engaging with it at all.

Obviously every player has a right to say how they felt playing and how they vibed with the campaign and if they didn't vibe with it, that's fine. They didn't vibe with a lot of campaigns that I would die for, like for example Shadowkeep. But there's a distinct feeling like a lot of these people are just latching onto the hate train for no real justifiable reason of their own. Like, it's popular to shit on the campaign now and people will do it to fit in, even if they personally have never ever had any stakes in what Destiny's story is about.

They've been given not only permission, but encouragement to blast the campaign over something they barely understand and something that a lot of people reacted to out of their basic impulses. And I get it because my basic impulse was negative too. I feel like maybe a huge personality who influences the entire community shouldn't post the first thought that comes to their mind uncritically to social media. Or at least that they should feel like they can change their mind and correct that later. I feel like a lot of them would never do that now because it would mean alienating their audience. "Oh yeah I told you all that this sucks, but actually no it doesn't, just listen." Yeah, not going to happen. Not to mention that outrage brings clicks.

And of course, now the whole discourse has been completely ruined by the outrage so it's incredibly hard to find and filter who actually has decent feedback and who is just riding the hate train. Frustrating and draining.

[bastardlybonkers]

i think one of the hardest but also one of my favorite parts of writing fanfic is getting a characters voice, not only in the dialogue, but in the narration itself? i dont write first person but i write 3rd person in the way thats like right in a characters head, i think theres a name for it but i cant remember what. anyways because i write like that, it means that the narration itself changes depending on whos pov im in. it takes a form similar to their dialogue, but also how they think, if that makes sense.

like ok i wrote that tim drake pov fic a few weeks ago, and because tim is tim, the narration was breakneck, with a lot of stream of consciousness theorizing and questioning. for a character whos thoughts dont move as fast that would be weird, but because its tim, thats how it had to work. or the difference between writing dick pov vs damian pov, dicks is more casual, with more jokes and fluctuates with his emotions, while damians was very controlled and even unreliable at points due to how much he schools his own mind. not that dick doesnt try and control his thoughts, but with dick its more like 'this is fine, im totally fine' while damian is 'i am in control, completely and utterly' no matter how untrue either of those statements are

idk stuff like this is just really fun to figure out, but it also leaves me wondering if i have any consistent writing style? its not exactly a bad thing if i dont, but it does make me wonder

[why-its-kai]

I only say this with the best intentions but have you considered staying on a mental health facility for a while? It can really help get you back on your feet and have some sense of schedule and organization in your life for a bit. Plus medication and therapy.. Sometimes we need a more aggressive intervention on our lives y'know? And that's also fine..

respectfully my worst fear is to be institutionalized so a mental health facility sounds utterly terrifying. completely disruptive of my life and routine. changes. control imposed over me. lack of privacy. out of my personal space and somewhere unfamiliar. who will take care of my cat. etc. etc. etc. no thank you.

i am on medication, i do see a therapist weekly, i am SUPPOSED to be getting services to help me find employment but having a pisspoor experience with even communicating with them so that's been frustrating bc i WANT TO FUCKING WORK BUT I NEED HELP, but my neighbors at this apartment have become increasingly loud/pot smelling the building its sensory hell and that's chipping away at me on top of the everything else thats stressing me out, and ofc it's december/winter so my mental state is in total disarray regardless lmao. anyways therapist is helping me work on shit it's just i come here to complain and whine bc ive got no one irl around daily to unload this. i can't keep it bottled inside or i spiral more and more like i gottta yell in the void sometimes about how its annoying how my brain works and strugglings annoying and idk. i am getting help even tho it seems like i am not and just falling apart as a total disaster wreck trash fire who needs to be institutionalized i guess idk XD im sure you came here with good intention anon but like. i'm sorry that's literally something i'm terrified of. i already feel like i'm not in control of my life last thing i want is to lose that last bit of it by getting put away regardless of if i willingly went or sent forcibly lol

[bicon-crange]

anyways going nuts about this again

IM SO BAD AT THIS STUFF IM SO BAD AT IT ITS UNREAL!!! GAH!!

I literally feel like a middle schooler or something. I'm getting jealous over tiny petty things, I'm getting angry over nothing and going FINE! if they dont want to talk to me I'll just ignore them!! I'm doing that thing where I like. bully. In this case all in a playful way and among friends but GAH I feel so so so bad for doing it at all.

Like maybe it IS better if I just don't talk to them if I'm going to be mean. I dont even know why I'm doing it!! what do I want out of this?? attention or something?? IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE TO ME.

ITS SO STUPID!!! And again its like I feel like I'm just. watching myself do all this and screaming at myself like WHAT ARE YOU DOOOINGGGG!!!

ugh. I mean, I think I'm handling all these immature feelings like an adult yknow? I start to get mad or jealous and I realize that and distance myself. Go on my own a little bit. I dont take it out on them or anybody else. I'm doing my best to respect this person and remember their boundaries and agh! AGHHH I just feel so stupid and immature and lame for even FEELING like that to begin with, for ACTING like that even if its friendly.

On top of that, people who AREN'T me have started to notice. Like. I brought it up to my therapist and ONE sentence in she was like OH YOURE TOTALLY SMITTEN!! like girl yes but i didnt even TELL YOU THAT YET. It makes me worry that I'm being so totally obvious. Like, I'm under the impression right now that they have NO idea, which is GREAT!!

But god if they knew this whole time and are just completely and utterly uninterested and just watching me make a fool of myself? HOW FUCKING MORTIFYING!!! HOW FUCKING EMBARRASSING!!! GODDDD.

side note;unrelated, I'm thinking of setting up a screentime limit on my phone because this is the THIRD WEEKEND IN A ROW where i have just sat for an hour+ and reread our conversation over and over and not done anything else. LIKE!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITH THAT!! There's an 100% chance that they DON'T do this and that they DON'T think itll be cute or charming or sweet or what fucking ever. BECAUSE ITS WEIRD AND ITS CREEPY AND UGHHHHH. UGH.

I have thought more than once this week about just telling them. Yknow just ripping that bandaid off and getting rejected and moving on. Unfortunately for me! My therapist advised against it. She said I should sit with this longer to see if I even like them. I say that I'm stuck in this dumb little prison and I'd like to just get out now, but she's the professional, not me.

[butch-bakugo]

Maybe im being defensive on a different blog or maybe im just tired of making excuses but it litterally pisses me off sometimes on how we as communties on this platform, refuse to even tap the glass surrounding the topic of a "dni" or "do not interact" as something that is, in truth, totally outlandish and entitled.

Its held up as everyone's special little perfect scroll that makes anyone a monster for not reading and completely adhereing to. Like its your fault for existing in the same space as someone who finds some innate thing about you triggering and its your fault their mental health is now in "utter shambles". How dare you exist in their space. How dare you not explore every aspect of them before mindlessly scrolling down after liking one of their posts. How dare you not read every piece of the fine print in their 20 paragraph 3 teir with 6 paths per teir caard before following them for 1 thing they post sometimes. How dare you step on their lawn. This blog is their property and they have every right to be upset when you step on it!!

Dude... Blogs are public property. Blogs are your little stall in a sea of a billion stalls at a festival held in a city park. Some people will stop and buy shit, other might spit at your feet. Others steal shit or yell at you and heres the reality...

You chose to put up the fucking stall.

You chose this public place. You picked it and decided to sit there and make things and wait. You cant check every customer and why would you? Why should they give you a pamplet of a billion facts of themselves before you could even consider allowing them to just merely stand infront of your stall? Why do i or anyone have to prove to you that we are "worthy" of your blog? Of your content? Why should we have to fit your mold to like a few pictures or pieces of art? Why do i have to sign in?

This is public property and yes, its my fault if i insult you or steal shit but you cant be a white karen and cry to the people crowded around your stall that i merely exist near yours. Thats why i utterly disregard them and will continue to because why?

Dnis are fucking stupid, it dosent stop the people you dont like and if your gonna beg for likes and reblogs, you cant pick who likes and reblogs it.

When i say this, people point out that i have a dni. But heres the thing. At the tippy top of mine, i state that i fully understand and expect it to be disregarded and not adhered to and thats honesty. I dont expect people to and why should i? Its merely a statement of me saying that these people are ones im going to advocate againest and thats it. What grinds my gears is the people who cry and scream and hurt themselves then beg for sympathy from their muturals because they "genuinely" expected it to be respected.

You genuinely expect people to care? When your blog is about cookie run character edits? When your blog is about winx club fanart? Why should they care? Its not my job to follow your rules on a public platform. Its not my job to check every blog i like or reblog from. Its not my job to make my existance something palatable to you and its not my job to respect something i dont have to.

The sickest part of all of it is that its so disconnected from reality. In reality, every person with more than 5 things on their dni has loved ones and close friends who would fit their dni and they don't cut them off like they try to cut at internet strangers. My own damn friends would meet my "dni", my mom would, my sister would. Dose that make them all horrible terrible bigots? Fuck no! It makes me realistic. Its this understanding that just because you dont know someone, one opinion of theirs that dosent align with yours on mundane shit, automatically makes that person a horrendous disguesting bigot who hurts everyone and should never be trusted again with no reason or ability to get better or become more educated or could educate you.

Ive had fully white people not touch important racial posts because im "panphobic". Ive had fully abled people ignore important disabled articles about our rights being taken away cause i support he/him lesbians. Like... The issues dont match each other and you need to be able to put the tumblrina bong down and hold hands aginest actual important issues when they arise instead of mundane fandom bullshit. I dont care if you like the dream smp when im trying to get you to spread more important info about sexism. I dont care if your a demipansexual pro-shipper when really fucking important info about climate change activists are dieing.

Like you gotta be able to step away for a moment and if you find yourself genuinely caring about stupid bullshit like "endogenic rights!!" in real life that dosent affect anything over any of the big 5 of oppression: mysogny, racism, lgbtphobia, ableism and classism... Then you need to step away and get a fucking grip. You need to breathe and leave. Stop like and a ride a bike. Delete and move feet. You get the point.

Get up and get out and get some perspective. None of it matters. Move on.