#move on and move out

[inkskinned]

please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!

do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!

[riacte]

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

[podcastwizard]

cashier: ok that'll be $20

me (visibly sweating): ah, yes, of course! a perfectly reasonable price for a grilled cheese and a small smoothie! that was exactly the price i expected you to say when i ordered a single grilled cheese and a smoothie and my vision is NOT getting blurry as we speak! i am a perfectly normal temperature and my speech patterns are natural and even because this is the countenance of an individual who expected to pay 20 american dollars for a single grilled cheese and a smoothie!

cashier: where's all that blood coming from

[marzipanandminutiae]

"hey why are all the barrier garments like linen shirts or chemises or combinations going away?"

"oh we have more washable fabrics now! you don't need to worry about sweat reaching your outer clothing when you can just chuck it in the washing machine!"

"cool!"

[100 years later]

"so uh all of those new washable fabrics are leaching microplastics into our water, and the constant machine-washing wears garments out faster. they're also not really sturdy enough to be mended, so we keep having to throw them out and now the planet is covered in plastic fabric waste that will never break down. also it turns out that the new washable fabrics hold odor-causing bacteria VERY well. so could we get those barrier garments back please?"

"sorry babe linen now costs $100000/yard and since it's been so long without them, nobody knows how to adapt barrier garments to the current styles anyway"

"..."

"maybe try this new $50 undershirt made of Special Sweat-Wicking Plastic Fabric! :) :) :)"

[sixofclovers]

theyre fighting a god in the morning

[wasabi-gumdrop]

local ladies man’s signature move totally useless against autistic monster enthusiast. more on Kabru’s fumble era at 6

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

historical drama/sitcom where two gay best friends (woman and man) get lavender married--and proceed to spend the Fancy European Honeymoon their parents paid for acting as each other's wingman

[thisisapaige]

if you see this post you are obligated to reblog and tell me something good that happened to you this year

[wanologic]

sorry danny, sam will never think you’re cool

[chloesimaginationthings]

Leaked scene from the FNAF 2 movie…

[yujateaandpi]

POV taking psychic damage from Twin Glare ^2

[Image description: digital art of the Pines family from Gravity Falls. They're all glaring at the viewer in front of a supermarket background. Dipper and Mabel are grimacing, while Stan and Ford have more judgmental frowns. Mabel is carrying Waddles in her arms who has a neutral pig face. End ID.]

[otto-doctavius]

Logan and Mary Puppins are so “dad and the dog he said he didn’t want” coded. He was acting disgusted by that dog for 90% of the movie, then when they were going to fight the Deadpools that almost baby-talk “You won’t wanna see this, bub.” slipped out. Then ofc there’s the bit at the end when they’re all at the table and he’s just sitting there playing with her ears and laughing as he makes her high-five Laura. I see you, mr “she is NOT coming with us”. You like that nasty little dog

[mausolealdrift]

its baffling seeing people on here being all shocked about how other ppl didnt have sex or do drugs or drink or go to parties etc etc in high schools like. sorry i was too busy getting bullied to do all of that stuff i guess. why are you surprised that there’s losers on the cringe loser website

[snarkspawn]

the devil you know

[bloomeng]

core 4 magical girl set finally reunited