#im thinking about her too; i think she did love them both are was at the least fond of them . rift or no rift

[ethereacals]

so american <3

synopsis: Remus grows attached to an American transfer student from Ilvermorny.

trope: idiots in love, grumpy x sunshine

pairing: remus lupin x american!reader

(R is alluded and mentioned to be in gryffindor)

warnings: unwanted attention from icky icky men ):

chapter 3 out of 10!

series masterlist

wc: 1.3k

a/n: I KNOW ITS TECHNICALLY SATURDAY IM SORRY

YOU HAD BEEN SHOVED INTO A CLOSET at a loud, booming party.

“Why me?” You thought, your whole body shaking due to the possibility of someone walking into closet with you.

Just as you faced away from the door, the door bursted open, and clicked shut rather loudly.

“H-Hello?” You mumbled, turning around quickly as a hand met your shoulder.

“Please be Remus, Please be Remus..”

“Hello, Y/N.”

Shit.

“Gilderoy? You weren’t even—“

“Shh, darling. It’s fine.” He smirked disgustingly.

“I just wanted to come in here and formally apologize for being honest about my thoughts about you.” He started, and you shrunk beneath him in discomfort.

“You know— I would really be interested in you if you weren’t ‘american’” He mocked, patting your head degradingly.

“I don’t want you to be interested in me.” You tried, but Gilderoy didn’t seem to take the hint and back off.

“Ugh, you and every other girl. Always playing hard to get.” He waved his hand casually, before backing you up into the wall.

“How did you get in here?” You asked breathlessly, practically feeling the anxiety bubble up inside of you.

“Everyone’s eyes are closed out there, darling. They don’t know who went in.” He whispered sensually in your ear, before groping your chest sexually.

You didn’t know what else to do, so the second his leg shoved its way in between yours… you screamed.

Looking back, it was quite comical.

it was the first thing that came to your mind, and everyone heard it too.

REMUS HAD EVERY INTENTION OF FOLLOWING you into the closet.

But when he heard the door click— he knew he was too late.

He stressed himself out over who was in there with you, and his suspicions were shown as correct when he heard your scream.

Everyone’s eyes flicked open, then Remus and Sirius immediately stood up to “rescue” you.

“What the fuck do you think you’re playing at, Lockhart?” Sirius barked, causing Gilderoy to spin around.

“I— Black..” Legend has it— that Sirius was the only person Gilderoy was truly afraid of.

“Get your bloody arse away from her!” Sirius shouted back, before stepping into the closet and all but throwing him out.

You stood there— petrified, and Remus felt so horrible for you.

You were dragged into this, and the worst imaginable could’ve happened and almost did.

“Y/n..” Remus mused your name like a god, and walked towards you gingerly.

“Are you alright?” He knew it was a stupid question, but he might as well have asked.

“Y-yeah.” You whimpered, before involuntarily breaking down in tears.

Remus instantly wrapped his arms around you, and the world went quiet for the both of you.

“Shh.. shh, it’s alright, dove.” He cooed softly, rocking you side to side gently.

“I-I’m sorry—“ You choked out, and his heart broke.

Now— what you didn’t know, was that Remus had barely ever voluntarily hugged someone throughout his years at Hogwarts.

So Lily was staring your direction, and so was James.

“Has he ever done that before?” James asked Lily, as Sirius took all of his anger out in the form of words onto Gilderoy.

“Never, only awkward side hugs.” She shrugged, as James began to usher people away from the area.

“REMUS?” YOU STARTED, shifting to face him on the dock.

“Yes, dove?” He responded calmly.

“Lily told me that you had never hugged anyone like that, atleast— not to their knowledge.”

“Well— She’s not��� wrong.” He started, his cheekbones becoming lightly dusted by pink blush.

“I don’t do hugs, usually.” Remus admitted.

“It’s alright, some people don’t like them.” You replied, with a soft smile.

“…I’ve only seen you hug me, so… I was a bit curious.” You shrugged, your teeth grazing your bottom lip gently.

“As I said, I don’t really do hugs. I mean— I’ll hug someone if they initiate it but— not out of the blue.” He responded.

“Thank you for helping me, I couldn’t think of any other way to get out then… well, scream.” You laughed shortly.

“You should really be thanking Sirius.” He brushed your compliment off.

“No, i’m thanking you.”

“Sirius beat the guy up—“

“But you comforted me, you came to me.” You stated surely.

Remus stayed quiet, as if he was trying to speak but no words were coming out.

“Do you see the difference? Sure, Sirius helped take care of the problem— but you helped me.” You insisted, and Remus’ eyes met yours once more.

“Y-You’re welcome, I guess.”

Remus wasn’t a touchy-feely person, he never had been.

He always found the world to be mundane, as many of his peers found love— he found solitude in books and his studies.

Not that he didn’t want to love— he was scared too.

Not scared to get his heart broken, scared about what he was.

He had convinced himself that he was an unloveable monster, that he was never going to be loved.

Nobody had ever told him that.

But he had always believed it to be true.

So throughout his school years, he had single-handedly turned down every single date, every single hangout, and every single opportunity.

Remus wasn’t an optimist, he was quite the opposite.

But you made him feel something he had never felt before.

It was weird, you made him feel… sunny.

But was he really ready to be loved?

Your smile after he said “You’re welcome.” light up his world and told him that maybe, just maybe, he could be loved.

“Remus?”

“Yes?”

“Have you ever kissed anyone, Remus?”

“U—Um, yeah.” He answered, surprised.

“Who was it?” You asked excitedly.

“It was years ago, and— it wasn’t very enjoyable.” He laughed, and you laughed with him.

He always wanted to make you laugh.

“Yeah, whatever. Who?” You urged.

“First time it was just some girl in third year, and I didn’t initiate it. And the rest are just drunken blurs— really.” You giggled at his response.

“I’ve never kissed anyone.”

“Really? A pretty girl, like you?” He asked, his brow quirked.

“Nope, at Ilvermorny— we weren’t allowed to be “romantically involved” with one other. So— we never tired.” You shrugged, as he moved closer.

“But— I guess that whole thing with Gilderoy really made me realize that I didn’t want my first kiss to be forced or with someone I don’t trust.”

“A valid thing to want.”

“I trust you, Remus.” He was silenced again, before you filled the gap between the both of you.

“Can I kiss you— Remus?” You asked nervously.

…

“I—I don’t want to force you to do anything—“

“Why do you want to kiss me? Out of everyone?” He moved himself back a bit, and you frowned softly.

“I— I don’t want to kiss anyone else right now…” You admitted shyly.

“You don’t want to kiss Sirius?” He cocked his head.

“I— no I don’t want to kiss him! I’m asking you!”

“Y/n, you don’t want to kiss me.” He argued.

“Says who?” You fought back.

“The universe!” He flung his arms out.

“Remus—“

“Y/n, you don’t want to kiss me.”

“But—“

“Y/n, i’m not the kind of guy you want! Trust me.” He reassured.

“Oh, yeah? And who decided that?”

“Me!”

“If you don’t like me, Remus. You can just say it.”

“N-No! I do like you, Y/n— I’m just protecting you!”

“Protecting me from what?”

“Myself!”

“Why?”

“ ‘Cause i’m a bloody Werewolf, okay?”

Once Remus had realized what he said— silence fell upon both of you.

“Remus..—“

“I have to go.” Remus stood up, quickly.

“No— please— Remus—“ You tried, standing up and following him.

“I’m dangerous, Y/n. And if you’re smart, you’ll never speak to me again.”

Remus misspoke, he knew that immediately as he continued to walk away from the Boathouse on the Black Lake.

His words hit like a bullet into your heart, how did that go so wrong?

so american <3

so american taglist:

@hisparentsgallerryy @lydpop @amatoanima @po3tbbygirl @thequeen0fhearts @yourlittlefries @jsprien213 @liviessun @wandasbitch22 @michtellch @hellokitty-girl666 @bmyva1entine @n1ght-vngel @anehkael @wolfstcr @assorted-knives @mrsblackx @moonyswifee @sunset-toast @sammyreid

[iiheartarc]

I do see where you're coming from, but at the same time, again, as I mentioned, if it were a man who had hit Vi after all that happened, Caitlyn would be severely hated.

Im not even a Caitlyn hater myself, but I do think that because of writing decisions made this season, it has damaged her reputation within the fandom. I'm not even just talking about her hitting Vi, I'm talking how narratively she's been glorified in a way that's come off as excusing her actions.

My main point was, when I bought up the abuse, is that people are shitting on survivors for pointing out that that behaviour is covered in red flags. Idk, I think maybe we should listen to the survivors on this one instead of sending threatening and verbally abusing them. Again, I didn't really expand on this because I don't think I'm the right person to speak on this because it's something I've never been through.

With the whole Vi thing, never said she was innocent. I do get how Caitlyn could have and rightfully got mad at that, but instead of hitting her with her gun, she could've just pulled away. Vi wasn't holding on tightly to her.

Again, what felt especially wrong was what both Vi and Cait represent, I do talk about class differences in my post so I won't expand on it too much here, but when Caitlyn, as a part of the oppressive class hits someone who is a victim of that class and police brutality, you can understand how that comes off? Then, it's never addressed by the show.

In terms of writing, I just think it's rushed. It isn't necessarily bad, ig, but because they tried to cram too many things into the season in too little time, it made the plot seem rushed and characters not like themselves. It's kind of like the essay rule, keep specific and the points relevant, I personally don't think we needed the whole religious saviour plot for Viktor, but I digress.

I love s2 with all of my heart, but it could've been so much better if it stuck to the themes it did in s1, bc between the 2 seasons it feels like a completely different show.

MY TAKE ON THE CAITVI DISCOURSE

total wordcount: 1591

I will say that I've briefly commented on their dynamic in the past, but it was worded really badly so I feel like I need to defend my writing skills a little bit as well with this, but that's just a sidenote. 💀

I think what a lot of people are missing when people do criticise CaitVi is that they aren't necessarily hating on the ship, it's what writing choices have done to it.

I'm not even going to even say I'm a CaitVi hater, I'm not (S1 CaitVi my beloved, you deserved better), but I do think the choices that writers made this season heavily effected how audiences portrayed the ship, even including myself.

Idk I hope this insight might give some people more perspective on why CaitVi became so hated in this season, people rlly need to start looking at both sides and not taking criticism as a personal attack. It really could've been avoided too if the writers had added more time or extended the series onto a third season, but that's another issue on its own.

1. Caitlyn hits Vi

I really don't get why people are so quick to defend Caitlyn on this one, especially considering the amount of hate Vi got when she hit Powder. Are both inexcusable? Yes. But I do think that the situation is a little different when it's a fifteen year old child who had just witnessed the death of her entire family and a twenty something year old woman who took out her anger and grief on the woman she loved because she blocked her shot.

I do think that people also do ignore the immense amount of trauma that Caitlyn suffered at the hand of Jinx, but unlike when Vi 'abandoned' Powder, (again, that's a whole other conversation, we know she was not abandoned), Vi was not that direct source of anguish to Caitlyn the way Powder was to Vi. (Pls lmk if you want me to expand further on this)

Again, not excusing Vi hitting Powder, I'm pointing out the differences.

It's then also incredibly tone deaf when Caitlyn hits her on two more occasions with the same gun, the third time being played off as a joke. It really doesn't come off well, especially when Vi had been a victim of police-brutality even before the abuse she faced at the hands of the enforcers in Stillwater.

And then, even after all this, it's never addressed. It's brushed over, like Vi's entire trauma in the show, the most we get is Caitlyn brushing her hand over Vi's abdomen in the cell scene. Again, can be taken as an apology, but I think that for some very specific things (like hitting your romantic partner), verbal apologies do need to be made in order to communicate healthily and somewhat build a healthier relationship.

I don't really want to talk about the abusive implications of this, because I don't think I'm someone who can talk about it with a full understanding because that's something I've fortunately never been through, but the blatant disregard and shunning of abuse survivors when they pull up the red flags raised because of this is disgusting. In real life, or if it had even been someone else in the show, if the ship had been a heterosexual relationship, people would call Caitlyn an abuser and would be outraged that Vi had been paired with her in the end. But I digress.

1. The cell sex scene

Initially I hadn't been too bothered about this when I had first watched the episode, but when you really think about it, it shouldn't have happened. Hell, they could've had sex in Caitlyn's office and half of the criticism wouldn't have happened, the ship wouldn't be so hated and the fandom wouldn't be half as divided as it is now (from what I've seen).

First and foremost, the cell.

All I can say is wtf. It was such a poor choice it's actually unfathomable to me now. I don't know why the writers thought that it'd be a good idea for Caitlyn and Vi to have their first time in a jail cell, not only the one Jinx had been locked in, but the one Vi had herself been locked in for what we can assume to be hours. The place of her abuse should not be somewhere where the writers could possibly think would be a suitable for a victim to have such an intimate moment with her partner.

Then there's the fact that Vi had looked to have had some sort of breakdown, we see she's sh and there are literal crates in the wall from where she punched it as well as her knuckles bleeding. As soon as she sees Caitlyn, there's a parallel to when they first met, to when Vi is quite literally caged. She's clearly not in the right state of mind, and so when the scene eventually happens it inevitably comes off as wrong because Vi is incredibly emotionally vulnerable in that moment.

"But Vi initiated it!" That still doesn't make it okay. I do think that this also came with an issue of timing, but then again, as I mentioned earlier, it literally could've been in the office as they argued and it would've been recieved so much better then the cell scene was. Vi wasn't breaking down, she wasn't locked in a reminder of the abuse she faced and her sister hadn't just ran off to do goodness knows what (in Vi's POV, us as the audience know exactly what she's about to do). They could've even have it fade to black and cut to the next scene tangled in bed doing whatever they would've been doing in the cell, Vi would assumably have had time to calm down, would be having sex in a warm and safe environment, and guess what? The audience would've been even happier.

Sure there would've been criticism, but Vi could literally save a thousand babies and adopt them all and still face hate, because a lot of the hate is being directed to Vi too because of the situation with Jinx. That, again, is a whole other situation.

3. "Dirt Under Your Nails"

Again, for the love of god, there can be so many takeaways from this sentence but do not be surprised that people didn't like it. I didn't, it made me cringe horribly.

And before people throw 'media literacy is dead', this whole post (practically essay), is analysing a piece of media that I love. To be literate, you can draw different interpretations and conclusions and that's exactly what I'm doing. It's like saying literacy is dead if two people were to disagree on what the meaning of Macbeth's quote 'I am in blood' meant.

I digress.

I think the main issue here is the class difference between Vi and Cait. Caitlyn is from the aristocracy, a direct heir to a position of power in Piltover, while Vi is lower class, effected indefinitely by growing up in poverty. Even though she grew up as Vander's kid, they were still 'scraping for scraps'. The wealth margin between the two is almost immeasurable, and with the difference in money comes a difference in experiences, as we - the audiences - know.

It especially comes off wrong considering the class tensions and political themes heavily focussed on within the first season. The conflict between Piltover and Zaun, the abuse of power and exploitation of Zaunites by both topside and the chembarons, the prevalence of police brutality on the streets of the Undercity. Again, Vi is someone who is directly effected by this, while Caitlyn came into this blissfully naïve. She did learn yes, and in s1 she was so determined to help, but when then this progress reverts into her calling zaunites 'animals' and using the grey as a weapon, it again makes Vi's words feel uncomfortable.

Again, I think this was a massive timing issue, I would've love to see Caitlyn succumb fully to a villain arc. It would've been so interesting to delve into.

I think Vi has always had the image of herself that she'll always be viewed as less by Piltover, that she herself views herself as less. She says it herself to Vander in s1 ep2 while they're on the bridge, "I grew up knowing I'm less than them." So when she then says as her final words in the show, "I'm the dirt under your nails" obviously, that's going to come across as tacky.

People are free to think of romantic connotations for this, I won't stop you, but when you think about how the show was so focussed on class tensions, police brutality, oppression and exploitation, it doesn't come off right. Idk, that's what got me so interested with the show in the first place, the way these themes were explored so deeply but subtly in a way that didn't feel forced, so Vi's words really rubbed me the wrong way.

Conclusion

So I hope everyone that read somewhat gets where I'm coming from, this was my attempt to try and explain what I think needed to be, badly. Again, you can like the ship, I'm not saying I don't, but it also needs to be acknowledged that there is so many things that could've been worked on properly, done properly or addressed properly, and ignoring criticism won't help these issues to be fixed in the future.

Feel free to ask any questions and thanks for reading this long ass rant :)

[trauma-bot]

sin eater

[ash-and-starlight]

Hello Ash.

I just finished She Who Became the Sun and I’m crying. Dying. Dead. Deceased. Thank you for jumpstarting the ripping out, stepping on, roasting, and eating of my heart that has just transpired.

Aside from the obvious Zhu and Ouyang, what’s your favorite character parallel in the first book?

HIII thank you THANK YOU im so happy the propaganda got you too <33 and HMM much to think about!! I will say that it's been a couple of years (I think?) since I read swbts so the details are fuzzy but one of my fave parallels are between Ouyang and Baoxiang, especially for how strong they become in hwdtw too. They are both seen as lesser and not conforming to the "male" mongol ideal, ouyang because he's a eunuch, wbx because he's not a warrior. They both go against their roles in a very explicit and performative way: ouyang by becoming a war machine and truly embodying the masculinity of a mongol warrior despite his inability to truly ever being considered one bc of his mutilation, wbx by refusing to become a warrior and acting super feminine (genuinely don't remember how much of it is genuine and how much is out of sheer spite but id say at some point the lines got blurred for him too. the guy has Problems.) Something something "femininity" being forced on someone vs being choosen and its Consequences. They hate each other. they're scheming together. they're scheming against each other. they loved Esen. they had to kill him. being gay is a curse. being gay is a game and i am winning. they fucked each other in a parallel reality. and most importantly they're twinks. this does not even begin to cover how insane their dynamic truly is.

[widevibratobitch]

Ok, drop your favourite characters and ships from the Three Musketeers, queen. <3

the answer is pretty simple actually <3

Aramis is my babygirl, my murder kitten, my favourite little princess, my rotten soldier, my sweet cheese... truly one of the characters of all time. to me. and he ages like fine wine - the older, the more cruel and ruthless and cunning and evil he gets, the better.

im a die-hard Athos/Aramis truther 🙏 i also adore the whole thing Aramis and Madame de Chevreuse have going on, especially their fucked up little divorce in the last book, it's insane and i'm obsessed with it. I do also think Aramis and d'Artagnan are long overdue for some quality hatesex sesh! and none of these are mutually exclusive, the opposite actually. basically i live for and breathe the entire d'Artagnan/Athos/Aramis/Marie drama. it's everything to me <333

[cacowhistle]

thinking about the fionna and cake finale and. i've been seeing people upset or annoyed that betty & simon's story focused on how simon had to learn to recognize that what they had was unbalanced and not necessarily fair, because they wanted betty to also realize that she placed too much of her self worth in simon, and they wanted her to learn to live for herself.

i think these people forgot about the episode in adventure time that does this. mainly because, at the end of the episode, it seems like she didn't learn anything at all.

In s10e11, "Temple of Mars," Finn, Jermaine, and Betty have to go through a mind maze to find Jake--and many parts of the maze are relevant to Betty's obsession with Simon/Ice King.

The second room of the "maze" has a chalkboard with a long and complicated equation on it. Betty tries to solve it, thinking it will help, while an Ice Thing messes up the equation as she tries to solve it, preventing her from doing so. It's meant to represent how trying to "solve" the crown's curse is leading nowhere, and that Betty is trying for a hopeless cause.

The last room is the most important to Betty's story, though--it's a window into her past, where she realizes that she needed to take more time for herself. She needed to focus on her, instead of dropping everything for Simon. She makes this realization and changes things for the hypothetical, maze room version of Betty--but naturally, this can't change the past. She's made her choices, and she has to live with that.

I think at the end of the episode, when she takes the "wrong" message away from all of this--she dedicates herself to trying even harder to "fix" Simon--it's mostly because she's scared to accept that she... not wasted, but lost so much of her life because she was so focused on what Simon wanted, or what she thought that Simon needed. She's also still under the effect of the Magic Man hat, so she's still affected by the sadness/madness of that, which likely twisted her view of the situation as well.

But then in the AT finale, she makes her choice to leave Simon. She does it through wishing for his safety, sure, but she still makes the choice to leave him. And in Fionna and Cake, what we see of her--or what's left of her, because we don't know how she's changed, really--is something bigger than what she was before. GOLBetty seems to have realized her own part in the unbalancing of the relationship between them. But that's not what Fionna and Cake is about--it's about Simon, and how he has to move on. Betty has already moved on by the time we see her again. She's showing Simon that, and she's showing him that he has to move on, too. But it's her choice. She could have stayed with him, but...

She takes the bus to the airport. And she takes it without him.

[cherry-treelane]

everytime i watch shameless I get hit with a jolt of sickness and remember how frank and monica stole fionas life from her and she'll never get it back because it never existed because she was a sister first her whole life (from the age of 4) and everything else second and its always just so casual in the show and normal and rarely touched upon but it's not normal at all and it's tragic

[anastacialy]

y'know, i keep making a habit of swinging my bat at hornets nests, but i have to say i'm getting so, so tired of people complaining about shows not making perfect sense when they aren't even close to done. we're four episodes into this season of doctor who. we're four episodes into this season of bridgerton. and yet in both fandoms i keep seeing people whine that such and such didn't make sense or it wasn't explained all the way and by god you guys i think maybe explanations might come later in the season. this is something most viewers will recognize as being called a 'plot.'

[fiilemade]

mind: does my muse have any mental conditions that affect their lives? what are they? how do they handle them? what coping methods do they use most? (To Kotone and/or Ren)

▻ all about health ( accepting! )

Starting with the more obvious of the two, Kotone deals primarily with depression and PTSD- much like her counterpart. While she does mask the former, it still rears it's head in certain habits ( disordered eating, routinely staying in bed until she's the last one up, slacking in school and social life pre-SEES, occasional disregard for self care/preservation ) and gives her a certain level of difficulty in enjoying some outings to their fullest. In certain verses, particularly the post-P3 au and PQ2, it also severely aggravates her lowered sense of self worth. As for her PTSD, particularly stemming the Moonlight Bridge Incident and resulting loss of her parents, Kotone copes via dissociation- something that ended up extending into other traumatic events as well ( ex. October 4th, the Chairman's betrayal, nearly crashing in the train. ) While symptoms of this are far more subtle in regards to mentions of her parents or status as an orphan, they can be rather severe following major events in the game and extremely visible, much to her displeasure after the episode. Additionally, Kotone has developed a heavy anxiety around stalkers and being watched, and is immensely uncomfortable with photos of her being taken by surprise.

Ren also suffers from anxiety and PTSD, originating from the court case against him at the start of the game and.....well, it really did just keep snowballing with every antagonist faced, didn't it- While he doesn't show it much to the people around him, and he does make considerable progress building himself back up, it did severely impact him and knocked him down to one of the lowest points in his life, and I personally interpret his stats at the start of the game not his baseline, but rather the remains left after the court and prison system destroyed his self confidence. For what symptoms that do show, Ren deals with dissociative amnesia ( canon! He has visible difficulty recalling details about the night he was arrested ), abstains from eating while under stress, and often experiences vertigo/nausea/tremors when his anxiety is triggered ( his main triggers being required signatures and threat of suing or immediate arrest. ) Additionally, he often feels difficulty grounding himself in reality when faced with threatening situations outside of the metaverse, and struggled a lot against depression and disassociation during 3rd semester. The former in particular unfortunately stuck around, and was a common hurdle for him in post-game back in the countryside. While he does his best to mask his symptoms, and is incredibly proficient in hiding his true feelings ( or ailments, if he's suffering from any ), he does also actively cope by keeping himself as busy as possible, and will often resort to heavy workouts when there is nothing left to do.

[bibleofficial]

realized my ‘soup’ that i ‘invented’ is just. daal. humans will always reinvent the wheel

[thedeadthree]

🥀💌🕯️💀 <33

*old person yells at cloud* THEORY TIME <3 but i was thinking of the skill trees screens we’ve seen so far and i am like…… super certain that ingellvar is the mourners surname and soo that calls for an update to irulannes pin interest board <33

(ill cry change it if it isn’t though but hehe anyway im stoked to at last have a surname for when i save her edits bc rn her folder says i.datv xixjjxhx *WHEEZE* 💀)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[sapphicautistic]

My gf was listening to "White Blank Page" by Mumford and Sons and I once again told her that song is SO much better if it's gay.

She doesn't listen to the lyrics of songs but she's extremely good at literary analysis and this time she actually looked up the lyrics and has now come to the following conclusion: "It makes no sense if it's not gay."

My (objectively best) reading is this:

The narrator was in love with a guy who strung him along, never willing to be in a committed (or public) relationship with him and maybe insisting that it's extremely heterosexual "helping a bro out" sex, except in more intimate moments. Finally out of nowhere guy is suddenly committed to a woman and when Narrator confronted him, guy spat out homophobic vitriol and claimed he's not gay like the Narrator.

(For extra flavor imagine them as closeted, straight passing Midwestern flannel wearing, love-bonfires-and-camping guys who sat next to each other at church and elbowed and annoyed each other like best friends do and were each other's go-to source of emotional support! And then to suddenly shut Narrator out for the first time ever, by abruptly marrying a woman and insisting that he's always been straight and their relationship meant nothing...)

Here are the lyrics:

Can you lie next to her And give her your heart, your heart As well as your body? And can you lie next to her And confess your love, your love As well as your folly? And can you kneel before the king And say, "I'm clean! I'm clean!" ? But tell me now, where was my fault In loving you with my whole heart? Oh, tell me now, where was my fault In loving you with my whole heart? A white blank page and a swelling rage, rage You did not think When you sent me to the brink, to the brink You desired my attention But denied my affections, my affections So tell me now, where was my fault In loving you with my whole heart? Oh, tell me now, where was my fault In loving you with my whole heart? Lead me to the truth and I Will follow you with my whole life Oh, lead me to the truth and I Will follow you with my whole life

Why call multiple people "you" in a totally unclear way? Why would you claim that your female ex's new man can't love her AT ALL (not just as much as you did, AT ALL)? And invoking the judgment of God is so fucking tedious if you're just shaming your female ex for moving on or even cheating/getting with your friend. Also you look like a creepy asshole if you think a girl broke up with you for "loving her too much".

This song is tepid, badly written, and makes the narrator look like an asshole if it's NOT gay.

The gay reading is the ONLY compelling one.

[fettery-fetterie]

I'm just kinda thinking over what could it been had things gone just. Just every so slightly better

Had some fundamentals been challenged further

Had the right words be spoken

Had they didn't go all in

It's just so sad, because I ultimately do see them working on the right scenarios, but they're all just...fantasy, a fleeting dream, the unreachable

Oughhhh I love them so much. They're so doomed

[killjoy-prince]

The pause between "You don't have to" and her long explanation was very comedic

[phagodyke]

ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.