#im tagging fucking everything cuz i need you kids to see this

[h0n3yk1tt3n]

Hey um can we not call playride "puppy play?" That's literally a sex thing and. These are teenagers. And while teenagers can be sexually active can we just. Not? Give them that ship name?

Sincerely, a tired 2017 veteran

[kishibe-kisser]

can I request Todo aoi with a very cute and affectionate gf? just like him shed do anything for him and loves him with all her heart. since shes so affectionate, maybe one day she was hanging out with yuuji and megumi while Todo was doing something else, then he saw her giving megumi hugs and stuff...maybe leading to some jealous smut??

Ask 2: could you please do jealous Todo aoi smut? he maybe got jealous cuz u were talking with megumi, but you didn't know why he was so mad...

A/N: I decided to combine these 2 request because they are quite similar! I hope you both enjoy it! Some things I had to change to fit the story but I still hope you enjoy it.

Tags: Aoi Todo x Afab! reader, p in v sex, face fucking, praise, jealousy, established relationship, cumming inside, fingering, doggy position, ass slapping (but not really spanking)

Word count: 2609

Anyone who looked at you could simply see how in love you were with Todo. It was as clear as day, the way your eyes softened the moment you looked at him, the way you would do absolutely anything for him. You were everything he could have wanted in a girlfriend and he was greatful for you everyday. He had never received care and affection from anyone in this way before.

"That tickles." He mumbled, his arm wrapped around your shoulders as you played with his hands. "You want me to stop?" You asked, looking up at him with doe eyes as a silent plea to let you keep going. Letting out an exhale, he looked away and bit back a smile. You could get him to do anything with those eyes of yours. "Keep going." He exhaled, looking at you as you smiled at him.

Music was playing softly in the background as the students of both locations of Jujutsu tech mingled. Gojo thought it would be a good idea for the students to get together in a relaxed way rather than a competition or training. The students needed something positive, all of the teachers agreed.

Which left you cuddled up on the couch with Todo, as he held a drink in his hand and you under his arm. He was perfectly content and so were you, even as Megumi joined you on the couch.

"Sorry, I just need a people break and you two seem the calmest here right now." He said and you nodded, reaching over and patting his arm. Todo wasn't the fondest of Megumi and well vice versa, you knew this. However, you didn't have any gripes with the kid. Afterall, he was exactly that, a kid.

"How have you been, Megumi?" You asked and the boy shrugged. His mere presence was bothering Todo, you could tell in the way he stiffened next to you. However he couldn't help but find the boy irritating. "Im going to grab another drink." Todo mumbled, releasing you from your embrace and giving you a quick kiss to the forehead. You watched him walking away before turning back to Megumi. "Don't mind him. You know how he is." You smiled and Megumi nodded in solidarity. "Anyways, how have you been?" You asked again, waiting for his response.

"Your face looks sour." Mai told Todo causing her to receive a scowl. "Ah, I see why." She added on, looking at you laugh with Megumi. Todo knew he couldn't be mad, you were sweet and tended to love everyone unless they gave you a reason not to. He couldn't be mad at you for that, he just was a little jealous. "Shut up Mai." He remarked and the woman rolled her eyes. "She's laughing an awful lot." She added and Todo looked over to you again. You were laughing, nothing Megumi could say could possibly be that funny... at least to him.

"I don't mean to laugh but that must have been scary. I'm glad everyone made it out okay." You said and Megumi laughed too, you were so sweet it was hard for Megumi to even try and dislike you. He only had questions about why you were with Todo. The man must have been different when he was alone with you, that's all Megumi could conjure up.

"Yeah things have been hard lately." Megumi confessed once your laughter subsided. "Well you know, it's hard for a sorcerer. I see what Todo comes home with and well, he does laugh it off a lot but I can see it's hard. You need someone to vent to." You said and he nodded in agreement. "Todo won't like this but I'll talk to him about it. If it ever gets to be too much you should reach out to him and to me. I'll be glad to help and glad to make him help." Megumi grimaced at your suggestion but realised it came from a good heart. "Yeah, thanks Y/N." He said and couldn't help but blush as you extended your arms, gesturing him to give you a hug.

A set of big hands grabbed your waist, lifting you off the couch and tickling you in the process. "Todo!" You squealed, watching as Megumi rolled his eyes. "Couldn't help myself." Todo mumbled, turning you around so he could hug you tight. He knew he shouldn't be but he was jealous. Seeing you giggle and laugh at Megumi and then hug him, it made him feel protective of you. You were sweet of nature, Megumi didn't need to get the wrong idea.

"You ready to go princess?" Todo asked, hugging you close and side-eyeing Megumi. Megumi wasn't dumb, he knew he had made the older man jealous and that partially filled him with pride. "I guess so." You smiled, turning to say goodbye to Megumi only to be thrown over Todo's shoulder instead.

"What's gotten into you?" You asked, laughing as the rest of the students watched you walk away hanging over his shoulder. "Just want some alone time with you." He remarked, patting your butt gently as it was in a prime position for him. Todo wasn't lying, however it might have been a bit deeper than that. In his mind, he needed to prove himself, prove that he was better than Megumi.

When he reached his room, he put you down and pressed your back into the door. You looked up at him as he caged you in, his muscular arms on either side of your head as you smiled. "You're jealous, aren't you?" You asked, getting a hunch at his sudden change in attitude. He shook his head, shrugging even though it was entirely obvious. "No, what makes you say that?" He was lying through his teeth and he knew that you knew.

"Ohhhh you totally are!" You teased, reaching up and hugging him around his neck. He instantly welcomed the embrace, his arms hugging you closer to him as you placed your lips just under his ear. "You know I only have eyes for you." Your voice was low, making goosebumps coat his skin. You pressed a light kiss to the side of his neck and he hummed. "Is that so?" He asked, feeling you smile against his skin. "How could I even look at anyone else when I have you?" You asked, very slowly kissing down his neck.

You could feel his bulge starting to press against you as he pulled you into him even tighter. "I'll only believe it when you prove it." He remarked, holding you with one arm as the other opened the door. You could see he had a small smile on his face as you grabbed his hand, pulling him into his bedroom. You would tell him the context of the situation later, that could wait. For now though, this was more fun.

Todo wasted no time kicking his door shut behind him and grabbing your hips to pull you into him again. In situations like this, he hated leaving your body for too long. He tilted your chin up and kissed you deeply, tongue snaking into your mouth as his hand grabbed your ass. You hummed, your hands gripping his shirt as you continued to kiss. As you were going to rid him of his shirt, he stopped you and pulled away to take a breath.

"Maybe you should get on your knees and show me how much you love me first." He said, gesturing to the bulge in his pants. You grinned, kissing his lips quickly before sinking down. Your fingers worked fast, undoing his pants and allowing your fingers to brush over the prominent v-line disappearing into his pants. You made sure to keep looking at him, keeping a sweet expression on your face as you tugged the material down and making sure to lightly scratch your nails down his thighs.

You kissed his boxer covered cock before rubbing over it with your hand, the fabric causing friction and making him suck in breath through his teeth. Finally you pulled the fabric down and let out a hum at the sight of his hard cock. "Go on." He urged, one hand holding the back of your head as the other held his shirt up just enough to see his abs.

Todo let his head fall back as your lips and hand wrapped around his cock. "There we go." He mumbled, your tongue swirling over the head of his cock before taking him in deeper into your mouth. The hand on the back of your head pushed you down further and you gagged before pulling off of him. "Fuck." You moaned, while the feeling was uncomfortable it still turned you on. "Can I fuck your face?" He asked, breathing heavier than before. Sitting back on your heels, you nodded at him as he cracked a smile. "I love the way you look at me, only at me." He remarked before pulling his shirt off fully and gently grabbing your head.

You opened your mouth and he sank his cock into you, gripping his thighs for something to hold as he started thrusting his hips. You took as much as you could, trying to regulate your breathing. Spit dribbled down your chin and you did your best to keep your eyes open, looking at him as he took advantage of your mouth. Tears brimmed your eyes and Todo could feel himself getting close to cumming. As much as he wanted to cum down your throat, he'd much rather have this last longer.

He pulled you off of his cock, taking note of the precum and drool on your lips. "You look so pretty like this. You're so good for letting me fuck your mouth." He said, leaning down to wipe your mouth and help you onto your feet. "You less mad at me now?" You asked, hiding your giggle as he spun you around to press his chest into your back. "Hmm I'm not convinced yet." He mumbled, kissing the side of your neck before pulling your clothes off.

He bent you over his bed, pushing your ass into the air and exposing your wet pussy to him. He couldn't help himself, giving a harsh slap to your ass, watching the flesh jiggle slightly as you let out a moan. "Couldn't help myself." He remarked and you giggled, gripping his sheets as his hands moved from your soft skin to your wet slit. "So wet, all for me. Maybe you do only have eyes for me." Todo remarked, dragging his fingers over you slit and spreading your arousal around.

"Todo, please-" You begged, feeling his other hand gently rubbing up your back as slipped one finger in. Your back arched as his finger curled in you, needing more to stretch you out. He smacked your ass again, hard enough to leave a mark as he added another finger. "Have to stretch you out, don't want you hurting tomorrow." He grumbled, watching you fuck back on his fingers. You hadn't realised how needy you were until his fingers curled against that sweet spot inside of you, making you cry out, getting closer and closer to cumming. "Todo-" You moaned as you gripped his sheets, arching your back even more.

"Goddamn, the only reason I'm so jealous is because I'm so damn lucky." He remarked, placing a hand on the small of your back to make you arch even more. This was without a doubt his favorite sight. "I'm gonna-" You stopped, feeling his fingers leave you and making you whine in objection. Todo leaned over your back, kissing your shoulder as he guided the head of his cock to your core.

"Cumming with me or not at all." He remarked and pushed himself into you. Slowly pushing into you fully and watching the way you gripped the sheets. "Come on princess, let me stretch you out." He grumbled, fingers digging into your hips. You were so tight around him and so wet, he had to take a breathe when he bottomed out. You could practically feel him in your stomach, making you clench around him uncontrollably. Every time he fucked you like this you felt like he was splitting you open and you just wanted him to move.

Todo knew he wasn't going to last long, reaching around to rub circles on your clit as he started thrusting into you. You were sure if anyone walked into the hallway they would be able to hear your moans and cries, they'd know exactly that you belonged to Todo. "God you feel so good." You moaned, your arms giving out under you and your cheek being pressed into the sheets. You glanced back at him, watching the way his eyes screwed shut before his free hand slapped your ass again.

If Todo loved one thing it was the recoil of your ass as he fucked you from behind, it was partially one of the reasons this was his favorite position. Though he never lasted long, you were just so fucking hot to him.

"Todo please, I want to cum." You whined as his thrusts got eratic. The fingers rubbing your clit sped up and he was starting to get louder. "Todo please baby, cum with me." You pleaded, needing your sweet release. He groaned at your pleas, slamming himself into you fully as he continued to rub your clit. Your name left his lips like a prayer as he emptied himself into you and you weren't far behind, burrying your face into his sheets to muffle your scream.

He made sure to stay inside of you for a moment, leaning over your back once more to kiss your shoulders and spine. "God, don't ever leave me." He whispered against your skin, making you chuckle into the sheets. "Oh my sweet Todo." You mumbled, letting out a slight gasp as he pulled out of you and watched his cum drip out of your pussy and down your thighs. It was his own way of marking you, that and the handprints on your ass from his slaps. He just loved knowing you had that on your body.

"You don't have to worry about anything." You told him as you settled into his sheets. Your arms open for him to join you, despite your bare and sweaty state. He laid his head on your chest and wrapped his large arms around your body. "I have a lot to worry about. You included, your safety and fearing you'll find someone better." He admitted and you felt your chest ache. Your fingers gently raked through his hair, undoing the hair tie and letting it flow free before kissing the scar on his face. "Like I said. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. Trust me." You said and he looked up at you. "I love you and only you. I worry about you every day and I need you in my life." You added on, watching him slowly start to smile.

"Besides, I was only offering help to Megumi. He seemed to be going through some stuff, I said you'd be willing to listen to him and be a friend. I know the stuff you come home with sometimes and I know he doesn't have anyone to vent to. That's why I hugged him." You clarified and Todo burried his face into your chest. "I feel like an idiot." He mumbled and you started to laugh. "Yes you are, but you're my idiot if it makes you feel any better." You shook your head, continuing to stroke his hair. "Maybe tell me I'm yours one more time, then you'll have made it up to me fully."

[nerves-nebula]

tw for like. Chronically Online nonsense & talk of csa stuff. i have fallen into a rabbithole and wanted to share it with u because it’s fucking insane and i feel like im losing my mind

so holy shit i just stumbled across the “radqueer” tag and that. i don’t. i truly have no idea how to react to whatever’s happening over there aside from complete and total bewilderment?? literally i’ve been making some serious progress in coming to terms with and trying to heal from repressed csa stuff so to open tumblr and see people saying they are ‘transtrauma’ and ‘cistrauma’ along with Everything Else in that tag. i feel like my brain has been turned to soup. maybe i am making it up maybe my dad didn’t actually molest me and im just insane idk but at least im not doing Whatever’s happening over there

i'unno about all that cuz my understanding of radqueer was that it was radical queer acceptance so they get a little wacky (said affectionately). im not really sure what that has to do with trauma but i dont wanna like, be a dick about it just cuz i don't understand it?

like i didnt understand ppl who said they were autism gender at first but i get it now. being autistic can really change how you think about gender since it's a social construct and you might just not Get Gender, to the point that it's inextricably linked with your self identity so its like. yeah your gender is autism. whatever.

i dunno what the trans or cis dichotomy has to do with trauma and my first instinct is to say hmmm that sounds.... not real.... but since i don't know what they're talking about and i don't care to learn i figure i'll just leave 'em to it. what does it matter to me so long as they're not making it my issue. i try not to commit to my knee jerk reactions of "that's stupid" cuz that's how you fall into reactionary thinking and at the end of the day it doesn't really bother me if people are fucking around doing shit i will never understand in parts of the internet i am not a part of.

anyway onto the important stuff:

if you can't tell if your dad molested you or not you've probably got *something* going on so I'd say don't freak out about if it Actually Happened or not and instead focus on attending to the emotions you have about it. to be blunt i don't really think it matters if it happened or not.

if you are "just insane" or you had a traumatic dream as a kid where your dad molested you and it effects you to this day then that's just as serious an issue to work on, at least it is to you personally. like if you had a delusion that your dad molested you that seems pretty traumatic regardless of what actually happened. idk if that makes sense?

ok i need to stop avoiding my homework. byeee.

[idlenight]

#oh! I didn't actually read it as protective or nostalgic yearning#I still read 'protect' like a useful/valuable asset#I took it more like 'keep your friends close and enemies closer'#even so far as speculating (wildly) that HG might be the reason all their siblings are dead#who's closer than family?#because if they're a touch-telepath and an expert emotional manipulator#those threads could have been reapplied for years#and when one gets caught you just#ahem#'cut ties'#so if one (could have) survived#it's worth keeping that one around until you know for sure#that being said#if it's a ploy I'm gonna fall for it more than once#'steps will pack-bond with anyone. (tags @ltrizzo)

Your interpretation is a valid one!

but i have hg brainrot so im using this as an opportunity to explain why i think HG is in fact doing some protective nostalgic yearning. consider this me brainwashing everyone into liking hg (/joke).

below readmore cuz this got longer than planned real quick.

Exhibit A - HG loves their sibling(s) [or at the very least their youngest sibling]

You gently brush your fingers over ${hghis} mind, bringing feelings to life. There are dangers everywhere around you, but you don't let them catch you unawares. It's a beautiful mindscape, a coral reef filled with life and color, hidden dangers lurking in crevasses, the ever-present sea anemones trailing their tendrils everywhere.

      [i]too innocent, the smile, the chubby cheeks, and there's a hand on your head, a fond ruffle and a whisper in your ear.[/i]       [i]"…that's a moray."[/i]       A memory. Of course. It stinks of Hollow Ground. A fond memory? Intense enough to form ${hghis} mindscape? Looks like it.

HG's entire mindscape is shaped by an intense and fond memory they have of their youngest sibling, the one who looks like Sidestep. While it is only the briefest of snippets we are shown that HG was kind to their younger siblings, and that the memory of this moment was important to Hollow Ground themself.

Exhibit B - HG (a merciless kingpin) deems this possible connection important enough to protect sidestep when they are falling into their own bad memory spiral, despite the transgression into their mind.

      Floating belly up. How did you lose yourself in here? You went too deep, you need to breathe, but everything you touch gives way, climbing kelp and looking for the sun.       [i]~I got you.~[/i]       [i]Dragged back, pulled out, pushed behind. Protected. The ghost of a memory. [/i]

      "Show…${chim} out." $!{hghe} @{hgsv gestures|gesture} weakly to Jake. "Unmolested."       "But boss?" Jake looks at you, ready to lunge.       "Just fucking obey me," Hollow Ground growls, and Jake snaps to attention.

Not only is HG the person to pull Step out of the memory spiral (as evident by being saved by the rat king in a similar scene with a puppetcrash), they then proceed to allow sidestep to walk out freely and unharmed. Despite still seeing them as a danger. Despite the clear transgression into HG's own brain. All because of the possibility of sidestep being their youngest sibling - someone they assumed to be dead. (Hope. A stupid thing to have).

Not to mention Hollow ground protecting sidestep in this moment either lowers the gate track or your scar variable. AND you gain hg friendship % despite the danger tag.

      *set willpower "exhausted"       *set hg_relationship "danger"       *set hg_friendship %+ 20       *set hgknown_telepath true       *set protected true       *set force %+ 10       *if gate >= 1         *set gate - 1       *goto truceleave2       *else         *set scar - 20         *goto truceleave2

Exhibit C - In the case of trans sidesteps, HG respects their siblings gender enough to have all the paperwork changed. (either when the kid told them, or after the fact)

*if ((ortegaknowstrans) and (gender != "person"))   "But you know I wasn't always…" You make a vague gesture toward your chest. You told Ortega about your transition, how did that work with whoever ${he} thinks you were?   "That's why I was so surprised." Ortega shakes ${his} head. "The picture looked like you, though I suppose at that age puberty hadn't really kicked in fully. And the files had ${chim} as ${sex}. But I suppose it makes sense that Hollow Ground would have been able to pull strings to make that kind of paperwork happen, even if you were a minor."   "Not hard for the kingpin of Los Diablos," you echo emptily.

This isn't all that deep I suppose, just a tidbit I like. Either they're an Ally(tm) or they're alike because HG has the same gender variable as sidestep always. (though there is still the question on if a transfem sidestep's hg is also transfem or a ciswoman? but we've only seen HG briefly and they haven't gotten that personal w/ us for us to know).

this has mostly turned into me explaining why i like hollow ground i think. uhh. hi. thanks for coming to my TEDtalk?

(also insert a bunch of ranting about HG in the demo here to i will not get into. just, imagine that all my points are super eloquent and insightful and 100% sexy and correct).

Reminding you that Hollow Ground has several siblings.

Reminding you that all of them died.

Reminding you that Hollow Ground protects their mental intruder because of a faint hope that sidestep is their youngest sibling.

Reminder that im so fucking normal about Hollow Ground.

[tauforged]

brooo do you have a laz lore master post i wanna see more about this guy . blorbo from my person i follow on tumblr

waaa im so glad u like him!!!!!! his lore is kinda.....scattered all over unfortunately hdsjnkfdjkfn im very unorganized. the main big posts that ive made about him in recent memory that i havent accidentally retconned are here (eternalism bullshit and how the his drifter and operator selves tie into the version we know and love) here (answering a bunch of questions about him) aaaaaaaaaand here (explaining a little bit about how his oculus and void echolocation works)

his tag is kinda sparsely populated cuz a lot of his character building has been happening behind the scenes and i havent shared much due to being forgetful as hell and for the longest time sorta just assuming nobody cared about him but me lmao BUT i can give you a rundown of everything ive got so far: (it's gonna be long, sorry in advance)

on the zariman, he was separated from the other kids and ended up hiding in a ventilation shaft to avoid the adults. he hid so well, in fact, that the orokin actually almost missed him entirely and nearly left him there when they were collecting the tenno after the void jump. he was so paralyzed by fear and pain that at first, they had assumed he was a corpse, and only realized otherwise when he freaked the hell out and blew a massive hole through the poor bastard they sent to go drag him out of the vents.

in the aftermath of the zariman and for most of the old war, he was sort of just... squirreled away and treated more like a feral animal than a kid. he was jumpy and uncooperative, his connection to the void was strong enough that he could do some serious damage when startled, and he didn't remember most of his life before the zariman incident at all, so he was difficult to reason with and in their eyes a waste of time. he didn't even remember his own name, so they called him 'Lazarus' as a reference to the fact that he was assumed to be dead when first recovered, and seemed to be pretty good at surviving against the odds. eventually he just accepted this as his name.

im not entirely sure if margulis knew about him or not... i feel as though she would want to help him, but he probably wouldn't trust her one bit. ive been tempted to go all in and say he couldve been the tenno who accidentally blinded her, which would lend credence to why the orokin felt the need to isolate him so thoroughly from everyone else, but i dont know if im gonna commit to that. as far as being a 'weaponized' tenno, he was treated as sort of a last resort.

he only had the one frame during the old war - he was paired off with a particularly uncooperative umbral ash that they weren't sure would even be able to be 'controlled', but despite most of the handlers assuming theyd tear eachother to shreds, they ended up sharing a really close bond. This ash is his primary frame, Styx! styx is like a father to him, really. they only ever had eachother for a very very long time.

he only ever saw combat once before the war ended. the orokin were getting desperate, and threw pretty much everyone they had at a particular area-- including laz. he had no idea what to do with himself, but he was suddenly outside of his 'room' (more of a holding cell, to be frank) for the first time in years, so he did what any sensible scared kid would do-- he ran for his fucking life. before his handlers realized where he'd gone and tried to interrupt his transference to his frame, he transferred out of his chair completely and essentially escaped for good. they assumed he wouldnt survive on his own and marked it down as a loss, but he was ultimately forgotten. one less little void demon to deal with, really.

he ran for a long time, just sorta trying to get as far away from anything and everything orokin as he possibly could, but too afraid of being recaptured to dare trust anyone he met along the way. at some point before the end of the war, he had a run-in with a lone sentient that cornered him, and he had no choice but to try and defend himself.

he lost this fight. the sentient very much killed him, but in his final moments, all of the void energy trapped inside his body was released like a bomb going off, which killed the sentient pretty much instantly. the implosion also created a weird little pocket void of sorts that pulled in his body and the bits and pieces of the sentient that were left behind. slowly, over the years, the void pieced him back together, replacing whatever was destroyed with pieces of sentient technology, essentially creating the first amalgam.

the entire time laz was in his void coma, styx was helpless to retrieve him. he knew he wasn't gone - he could still feel his presence - but he couldn't get through to him.... so he waited. and waited. and waited some more. eventually, the ruined old building they'd been in all but collapsed, plants began to grow through the foundation, his joints began to rust and his blades tarnished. grineer and corpus and infested alike discovered the place over the years and all were promptly slaughtered in fits of protective rage. by the time another tenno stumbled across his resting place, the old war was ancient history, and the lotus had already located and awakened most of her children-- but laz had never had a chance to form that connection with her. he barely knew margulis, let alone natah.

the tenno who eventually found him and woke him up was none other than @helmofhades' specialest boy Rigel! they have a very special relationship. i love them both deeply. by the time rigel had found him, he'd been mostly put back together-- but the somatic scars on his face had progressed to the point where his eyes were damaged beyond repair. rigel and the other tenno who eventually made up their little clan helped him get back on his feet and adjust to this strange new world he found himself in.

laz and rigel are basically married if it wasnt obvious already. they are boy best friends <3

he went through the main story quest more or less the same as happens in the game, although he never really had a very close connection with the lotus and was more wary of her and confused by her for than anything for a very long time-- at least until the new war, anyway

the drifter and the operator are two separate entities - but there's also a third, completely separate laz who is basically a conglomerate of all of his alternate selves. i call this special third guy 'laz prime' to make life easier for myself, but neither of them are any more 'real' than the others.

operator laz is him but in babymode. nothing much else to that. hes just a little guy, and its his birthday, hes a little birthday boy!!!

drifter laz i uh... kinda havent touched on much. im waiting for duviri to drop so i can really get into the nitty gritty of all the time loop bullshit. hes kinda a bitter asshole though. not that i blame him.

laz prime is the funny guy i post about so much!!!! after the cutscene in the new war where the drifter and operator meet, neither of those two actually LEAVE that dormizone, at least not in the version of reality we see-- their meeting causes laz prime to just sorta... start existing! he remembers being both of them, although only vaguely. it's him who finishes the quest, and it's him who eventually returns to the zariman for the angels update and all that fun stuff. im sure driftlaz and oplaz are still out there, doing their own thing, but i havent the slightest clue what that may be.

laz prime is more severely amalgamated than either of his counterparts-- while theyve got the horns, hooves, and claws, laz prime takes it up a notch with an extra set of arms and a tail! he's also absurdly huge.

he has a cane to help with the mobility issues caused by having to balance on those teeny tiny itty bitty stick legs-- it's actually a little sentient! he calls it a mobilyst. it's his little buddy. i really like it

laz prime can't really use amps in the traditional way, considering his sentient parts react very poorly to large concentrations of void energy. he pieces together makeshift weapons with cores and fragments he scavenges from other sentients or amalgams that he kills to make up for it. he can also breathe void-fire, but he doesn't do that very often because it singes his scruffy little beard :( love loses

his lack of ability to effectively channel amps makes him VERRRY very interested in traditional weaponry. he's especially fond of incarnons-- JUST because theyre cool weapons. no other reason. none at all. unrelated, but do you think cavalero likes men? asking for a friend.

[izzy-b-hands]

my edibles got herrrre as you can all probably tell

i feel so much better

thank u hemp for making my brain be sort of normal if v dumb

like two degrees dumber than usual probably

tags might get weird tonight sorry in advance

also yes made a side blog thats izzy/stizzy/steddyhands focused because someone needs to come collect their child that keeps sending me weird messages shaming me for liking Izzy. It isn't upsetting now I can just tell they seem young and that has me like. no, kid, come on. there's better ways to spend ur time surely. Like Roblox? My youngest (16 yr old) cousin assures me that's popular now. This feels like a younger sibling screaming at me and it's just. a lil weird. anyway

Anon is turned off as a result, as are submissions, tho that's a different person acting a fucking fool in my inbox that keeps telling me I'm actually a butch lesbian. Butches are wonderful!! lesbians are wonderful!!! butch lesbians are wonderful!!!

However i am not one!! and it really fucks with me mentally that that person won't stop so. publicly addressing it because im stoned and v honest rn lmao

oh yeah, side blog, if u wanna see that sorta stuff, check it out. love u all. i hope u all find fifty bucks on the ground this week, even that izzy hating anon and dysphoria triggering submitter. cuz even u guys deserve it, everything is rough for everyone rn.

[cloud-somersault]

#Oouugh head in my hands#Head in my goddamn hands#I used my whole afternoon just to read this thank you op but goddamn#Your fic is like a shotgun aimed and fired at the dead center of my heart what the fuck#I was so blindsided by the mentor and mentee bonding of swk and mk that by the time i reached the ending was like a goddamn whiplash#It was anguish op u wrote that well you wrote that very well but goddamn#You weren't kidding!!!! This hurts!!!!!!!!#And like a fool i did not heed your warning aaauuuuughgh!!!!!#I live your characterizations of the trio#Love*#They all need a break#Im gonna be insane in the tags for a bit bear with me cuz theres a lot to unpack#I'm gonna be honest i did not expect a shadowpeach flashback at the beginning but im not complaining its adorable. They're adorable!!!!!!!#I could live off of smitten wukong for days UAJAJ#I love how you set the scene in ur fic. Idk i just really like it when i could visualize an environment like in a movie whenever i read!!#I love!!! How you go about with their powers!!! And how you explain them that theirs a reasoning behind how they perform certain abilities!#Its so cool im still not over how cloud-summersaulting is explained#JUST SUBSJS THE THOUGHT BEHIND HOW THEY WORK IS JUST SO COOL AND CREATIVE HSNDUS LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING#THE CONNECTION TO SPIRIT?? HOW THEY CORRESPOND TO FEELING?? THE BREATHING THINGY???? DAMN WELL KNOCKED ME OUT#DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WUKONG'S KAIJU THINGY THAT SHIT WAS COOL AS FUCK!!!!!#I love how mk gets aspects from both wukong and macaque its as adorable as it is funny#Mk being a smart cookie and understanding their explanations is really cool!! Its like im learning with him lmao#I'd love to see this side of mk more#The marble trio were hilarious like what the hell did they expect when they picked a fight with swk? 😭😭#I love how mk swk and macaque all care for eachother#They just go abt it so terribly it just makes you wanna facepalm (mostly swk and macaque. Mk needs a break)#Okay i get how the race thingy end up a disaster but i love when shadowpeach are just unsolicitedly childishly competitive#Theres a boyish charm to it they should be able to fun once in a while#Granted that fun doesnt end up in an argument that knock the other's understanding off-kilter but eh we cant have nice things apparently#Apparently i cant get past to 30 tags but just know this has been a blast I couldnt get everything in. Im excited for what you have in store

these tags are so BEAUTIFUL I...

Thank you for reading!! and i'm happy you're enjoying. this is a sideblog, or I would've sent a message saying this, but!! THANKS!!!! YAAAAY!!! also had NO CLUE there was a 30 tag limit, good to know...

hi 🧍‍♂️ good day to you. I've uploaded the third chapter of my fic, the constellations within us, and it sits at a good ol' 34K so have fun with that.

and maybe grab some tissues and. popcorn, but mostly tissues. you're in for a rough ride, my friend

The Constellations Within Us - Chapter 3 - cloud_somersault - LEGO Monkie Kid [Archive of Our Own]

[thebigqueer]

hiii! could you write a fic/headcanons of leo, nico and will. i had no idea that was a ship until recently and i love it!!! and i want to read how they get together. in my mind solangelo is already dating (bc leo is in no condition to date after canon) and after leo comes back (after toa5) they became friends and eventually they confess to leo (when he already got over calypso and is better emotionally y'know?). no pressure if you don't feel like writing this tho :)))

hhhh anon im sorry i absolutely would love to write this for you into like an actual fic but it takes me a long time to write fics :(

but! i can def give you headcanons! after all they’re like fics but in outline form and much less grammatically correct! but if i do make a fanfic, i’ll be sure to post it. maybe you’ll like it! can’t make any promises i’d write it anytime soon though cuz i have a few more projects on the line but you know... i’m def considering making one after everything i’ve written in this post...

okay exactly yes i totally agree that leo only gets with them after he’s emotionally stable & after toa5

this is straying from soldezangelo a little but i made a post here about what i personally think should have happened w/ leo’s ending in HoO, if you’re interested in reading it. i’m gonna make the following bullet points based on that

but tldr: i’m just basically saying that i wish caleo ended up leaving ogygia as friends so that leo didn’t get that forced romance on him

so he stays at the waystation for a while with calypso (only as friends; like they’re staying there and are really adorable friends) and all the while he’s really thinking only about himself and his well-being. he goes back to high school and keeps up with that project he’s doing w/ other kids and giving them opportunities to make things (GOD THAT WAS SO CUTE)

then leo decides that maybe for the winter, he’ll go back for a trip (i also hc that piper and percy and annabeth go to chb for the same winter so that some of the seven see each other!)

there, he meets will and nico, but i think mostly he’s interested in talking w/ nico. so they talk a lot. nico expresses how angry they were for leo dying like that and scaring everyone, and leo says he’s sorry but he had to. i think this also provides nico and leo the perfect opportunity to talk about jason, since they were both really good friends with him. and nico also understands that it was leo’s decision and his sacrifice. but they also talk about how leo’s sacrifice kind of... felt weird. since in the end, they still lost the storm but the fire lived on (ehehhehe idk if that made sense but i was tryna be smart lakjsdlfkj) 

i think that opportunity ultimately provides nico and leo to get along a LOT better with each other, and they both realize that they actually have been through a lot of similar feelings. by which i mean theyre both so fuckin mentally unstable and they relate to one another.

nico talks about how he’s been in a relationship with will for a while, and leo’s happy for him, really. but i think a small part of him is jealous, too. not because “oh god here’s another couple im supposed to worry about after ive just started getting over this ingrained idea of needing romance to solve all my issues and feeling like i belong,” but more because i think leo’s always been a little attracted to nico since they were on the argo II with each other. i don’t think he ever acted on those feelings, especially since a lot of the people on that ship were more judgmental towards nico and he probably felt like he had to be as well (by the way, none of this is an excuse to leo’s treatment of nico, or, by extension, an excuse for anyone’s treatment of nico on the argo II.)

leo apologizes to nico about how he treated him, and nico smiles and tells him it’s fine. like, nico has had his own bout of personal growth as well, especially in the past year. he doesn’t - and won’t - forget how people treated him, but now he’s learning to just let it go, in a sense. 

and i think this is when leo and nico kind of develop underlying feelings for each other. 

leo and nico probably hang out a lot, but will also joins becuase he’s nico’s boyfriend, and nico loves to have him tag along. so i think leo feels a little intimidated by will, like “damn my crush is really just bringing along their boyfriend huh??” 

and leo’s like. so jealous. like “ugh why does this hot golden ray of sunshine have to ruin everything. why is he always around. he’s so fucking distracting. like hello i’m trying to simp for nico but he’s so gorgeous for the both of us.” and then it hits leo that oh wait oh fuck he actually likes both of them and that “intimidation” he was feeling was mostly just him being attracted LMAO

leo and will get a bit closer through nico, and then i think the two of them are like very joke-y with each other, and they totally connect with each other about texas and being absolute fucking NERDS (since they are both canonically absolute dumbass nerds HSDHFSLFKDJ)

and leo’s struck with how cute he is omG 

and then nico’s like “wow they’re both so glowy aslkdjffdj HHHHH” 

and then will’s like “damn they’re both so dark and mysterious” 

and also not to mention they all totally relate about mental illnesses, abandonment issues, and the like. i mean, after everything that’s happened to all three of them (since will has been through like two wars, has lost two brothers, and has probably lost a lot of lives and feels guilty for it) they probably really relate to each other about always feeling... this dark uncomfortableness inside them. a void. they get really deep about mental health, and i think nico actually suggests to both of them that they should all talk to dionysus, just like he does (because, as we all fucking know, love cannot fix mental health and it doesn’t matter how much they’re all attracted to each other, they will not cure each other just because they’re in love) 

i think somewhere in the relationship between will and nico, a tension starts to build up a little. they’re not really sure how to exactly deal with teh fact that they like leo (and neither of them actually admits it to the other because they like the other as well and they really are not in the mood for a “”””love triangle”””)

but the funny thing is, they probably all talk about it with dionysus in their separate times. and Mr. D is just. he’s so done. 

SLKDJFKLSDHFLJSDKFSDKJFSFDLJK - Mr. D falling asleep at night thinking about this soldezangelo thing because he thinks it’s really funny that they all like each other but don’t wanna admit it

he totally suggests that nico and will talk about it together, and after lots of hesitation, will is probably the first one to come outright and say that he likes leo as well. and nico’s like “OMG WHAT ME TOO. like i really like you but i also really like leo...”

so they’re both actually really relieved, because they didn’t really want to break up with each other but they didn’t really want to keep lying to each other, either. 

and they tell leo, and then leo’s so happy because lKJSDFJLSLDFK YALL I LIKED YOU FOR THE LONGEST TIME

and bada-bing, bada-boom, ya got yourself a little soldezangelo!!!! 

i hope you liked that!!! i’m actually tempted to make this into a fic now, but since it’s already in headcanon form is there a point? hmm... imma think on this though. thank you SO MUCH for the ask!!!

[aesudan-kholin]

For the ask meme. Aesudan.

cracks knuckles

Sexuality Headcanon: luke you specifically know about the way i interpret this. for the rest of you, straight*

Gender Headcanon: aesudan does not really lend herself to gender nonconformity and for that reason i think she is cis, but i haven't like tried to see all the angles on it like i haven't had late nights or spent more than 10 minutes thinking about her gender in my waking hours. i think if she wasn't cis she wouldn't really know or care enough about it to change how she presents. the dream i had where she was trans notwithstanding because she was one of many including the big man himself

A ship I said with said character: who the fuck ships aesudan like honest to god question. i know there was one person in the aesudan tag like 4 years ago who shipped her with elhokar. one day i will get around to inventing men for her to have affairs with in my little headcanon world or boyfriends pre marriage but those aren't Ships they're just worldbuilding

A BROTP I have with said character: elhokar pre gavilar death... i mean their relationship (IN MY HEAD like i could talk about speculation using knowledge we have about their relationship pre gavilar death but this is just my inner headcanon world where everything is how i want it) is not necessarily Healthy but they do rely on and lean on each other a lot and they do do friend things. so probably that. i've toyed around with lalai (Lalai. not ialai.) and her being besties but i haven't developed any of it

A NOTP I have with said character: elhokar/aesudan. listen i know this might sound like then reading about her in any effect would be unpleasant since they're married but actually its really not cause like. they're so??????????? whatever they are. they're not close like that. elhokar doesn't know her circa oathbringer like At All cuz he's so flabbergasted by all these things that she's been doing for Years. the only scene they have together is them arguing (and in the row prologue navani is briefly like oh look aesudan is talking to elhokar For Once instead of other men). even more than what was maybe supposed to be implied cheating circa row prologue. they just. I DONT KNOW!! THEYRE JUST FUNNY!!! other than elhokar like i dont give a shit if you shipped her with anyone else in the world. i swear i saw someone at one point talk about aesudan/jasnah and i laughed my head off but like if it floats your boat man!!! WAIT I DO HAVE ONE MORE THING callout post to my tomodachi life save for trying to get dalinar and aesudan together like 3 times

A random headcanon: she internally promised herself not to let elhokar name their child after he named his horse Vengeance. also she draws Stylized Art like she's the kid in middle school art class who gets told to stop drawing anime by the teacher and she goes "No 🖤" and keeps turning in "referenced" pictures of anime guys for every assignment. but she's on roshar and anime doesn't exist so basically she draws but she just didn't start with the fundamentals so her drawings look Cool but also Off like in the anatomy or whatever. but elhokar who likes art but doesn't have a Refined Eye for it goes crazy for it since everything else he sees is realism

General Opinion over said character: thats a big question. she is Bad and i will be the first to point out her flaws because i know all her sins that have been talked about. i love her though cheer every time she's on screen or mentioned like YES!!! CAUSE PROBLEMS!!!! i dont think i need to elaborate i trust that you guys understand and/or comprehend liking a character without condoning their actions. i like that i basically have her to myself because while some people in the world also give a shit about elhokar, no one gives the shit about aesudan. im the only mf out here as far as im aware, and i have scowered internet spaces for people talking about aesudan. i have this message i wrote from march 2021 which haunts me which reads "i wonder if anyone out in the world genuinely cares about aesudan". its you. you do.

[chans-baby-girl]

Getting to know me tag!

Thanks for tagging me @xpeachesncream @bangchan-fairy

Now it’s your turn!

@luminois @dilutedpondwater @crispy-chan

(You totally don’t have to at all! If you don’t wanna be tagged I would be more than willing to remove you!)

1. When is your birthday?

February 8th!

2. What is your favorite color?

Purple and blue

3. What is your lucky number?

8!

4. How tall are you?

5’6

5. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

I think it’s safe to say like four!

6. Favorite song?

Honestly don’t have one atm I’ve been listening to a lot of different songs and it’s messing with my choices

7. Favorite movie?

Doctor Sleep!

8. What would be your ideal partner?

To be perfectly honest someone who can be my best friend and we have those relationships where we skipped the awkward stage and we started farting and burping and crying around each other when we first started being together! We have fun every days a new adventure we watch anime together, they indulge me in watching k pop stuff where We can talk about anything and everything we watch vines and memes and I can take them to my family and they’ll play with my baby cousins and to me that’s ideal. I’ve always wanted to someone who can just be fun and genuine with me and someone who won’t judge me for my weirdness but joins in.

9. Do you want children?

Yes I do I’ve always been that child who carried around babies in a cart and I do a lot of babysitting and I picture myself being a bad ass mother one of these days… who knows?

10. Have you gotten in trouble with the law?

Nope I drove without a license when I was fifteen for the longest though and never got caught 😎…. Don’t do that tho that’s very bad!

11. What color socks are you wearing?

Bold of you to assume I wear socks to bed 😩 jk they are white with a black heel

12. Bath or shower?

Realistically I usually only take showers but if I had the time I would take a lot of baths

13. Favorite kind of music?

Alt., Rap, Rock, Kpop, Cumbias and Corridos (😩😩😩 for blasting in the car🤪🎉 ) but other than that I like practically anything

14. How many pillows do you sleep with?

One but sometimes I’ll grab another to put in between my thiqq thighs 😩 cuz it gets uncomfortable and I like having my leg elevated

15. What position to you sleep in?

On one of my sides with one leg tucked practically into my chest lol

16. What don’t you like while sleeping?

When someone takes my blanket cuz tbh I love being like a smoll bean and I’ll borrow myself into my blanket like a rabbit so if so much as my head meets the surface i get pissed like don’t touch my blanket bitch Im hibernating😩 OHHHH or when I’m sleeping and you shake me awake like EXCUSE YOU when you’re driving ima shake yo ass too 😭 I swear I got so grumpy when I’m sleepy

17. What do you usually eat for breakfast?

Chorizo or huevos con weenies y frijoles (Eggs with weenies and beans)

18. Have you ever tried archery?

Yes I have! I used to be on my schools team i was pretty good but it’s been years

19. What are your favorite fruits?

Watermelon, cherries, and pomegranate seeds😩🥴🤤

20. Favorite swear word?

Fuck or bitch

21. Do you have any scars?

Yes a lot unfortunately a few on my legs cuz I would fall off my bike a lot and more than I can count on both of my forearms but rest assured I’m better now :) ….didn’t mean to make that dark

22. Are you a good liar?

Yes but I don’t need to like lying at all but if I had to then I am good at it

23. What is your personality type?

I took the quiz thing a few times and I either got ENFP and the other times I got INFP so I guess I’m both intro and extroverted! I am the definitely the therapist friend! But I love making new friends and the only downside I have is that I have bad social anxiety so I don’t have great social skills. But when I do make friends I get excited too fast or I like skip small talk and start getting close and personal and everyone I met finds me to be too much and overbearing because I’ll rant for hours about things I love and people cut me off cuz my eyes get big and I talk louder and I start talking fast and it throws people off? But I’m fun I have a range of interests I’m family oriented. I love kids and have an ambition for teaching! I am a big risk taker and throw any rollercoaster my way and I’ll do it:)

24. What is your favorite type of girl?

A genuine girl and that doesn’t necessarily mean like pure and sweet but I mean they can have their spunk and attitude and their own shit going on but I mean the intention like if you intend to be genuinely real with me and not bullshit with me or waste my time then I’m game to be in a good friendship with you! And someone that has my back and someone I can have a laugh with because humor is one of my biggest turn ons in any friendship or relationship it sparks a connection for me!

25. Left or right handed?

Right handed!

26. Favorite food?

Enchiladas :)

27. Are you clean or messy

Clean!

28. Favorite foreign food?

Japanese food for sure!

29. How long does it take you to get ready?

On a simple day 10 minutes but when I have plans then like 45 minutes

30. Most used phrase?

I have a few that I say daily:

“What in the frick frack?”

“No you dumb bitch”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“I’ve seen everything, satan I’m coming down!”

And

“Really your mother pushed you out of her vagina just for you to do this shit?”

31. Are you a good singer?

Not to be narcissistic but I think I’m a really good singer!

32. Do I sing to myself?

Yea sometimes

33. Biggest fear?

That there is no afterlife cuz I’m not afraid to die I’m just afraid that ima die and all the things I’ve heard are lies and I’ll really never see my relatives that passed again.

34. Do you like long or short hair?

Long I love growing out my hair

35. Are you into gossip?

No I don’t care for drama at all. But if someone wants to vent to me then I’ll let them but I’m just not going to put my opinion out there cuz it’s not my place

36. Introvert or Extrovert?

Both it depends on the atmosphere

37. Favorite school subject?

Science

38. What makes you nervous?

People and crowded spaces

39. Who was your first real crush?

My boyfriend lmao deadass I met him in highschool

40. How many piercings do you have?

Currently three: two on my lobes and a nose piercing! But I’m planning on getting a belly button piercing, another nose piercing on the right side (cuz I already have one on the left) two helix piercings, an eyebrow piercing, and two more lobe piercings (one on each ear) all in due time of course!

41. How fast can you run?

Uhhh last time I checked my mile time was 9:54 seconds so like ten minutes per mile!

42. What makes you angry?

Racists, homophobes, r*pists, bullies… basically people who don’t have respect for others and things they can’t change. Ohhh narcissists I hate people that thrive on thinking their better than anyone I love knocking them down a peg! But other than that I don’t tend to get mad often!

43. Do you like your own name?

Yes I do but I recently started going by my middle name Dayzee! The reason behind it is honestly because why have a middle name of you don’t use it? Like why is it just sitting there lmao!

44. What are your weaknesses?

I have horrible social anxiety!

45. What are your strengths?

Honestly I think my strengths are that I’m a loyal friend! I’m also very caring and compassionate and I’m always supportive! What I’m saying is PLEASE BE MY FRIEND I NEED FRIENDS LOL 🤪

46. What color is your bedspread?

Navy blue

47. What color is your room?

Beige but I put led lights so it looks cool!

Thank you for tagging me this was honestly so fun!

[the-slut-verses]

tct final thoughts

oh boy this is gonna be a long one,,, i’m gonna begin with the things that i liked so that 1) it doesn’t feel like i just wasted my time when i could’ve been listening to literally to any of the hundreds of other podcasts im subscribed to and 2) this show did so many things right, i wouldn’t be as emotionally invested and fired up about it as i am if it was just  a purely garbage show

everyone in the cast gave just stellar performances especially adam and caleb’s actors,,, gosh that final confrontation in ep 19 where they had that big long talk about their feelings and it was so raw and real and genuine,,, how having mental baggage really just can fuck with a good healthy relationship no matter how much the people love each other and mean well

going into this show, i wasn’t looking forward to hearing about adam and caleb having been broken up cuz that just seemed, so out of character from where we last saw them in the original series,,, but i was pleasantly surprised with just how enjoyable their new dynamic as awkward exes that are still just completely in love with each other,,, i love this drama,, i love seeing these disasters inadvertently hurt each other (honestly it kinda worked too well cuz,,, more on that in the negative section)

CAITLIN! I love caitlin so much!!! and i just love her dynamic with adam,, i mean like, fried rice nights, shared google calendars, stressing out over essays that aren’t due for months,, i love these two!! also it’s so fresh cuz like,, usually it’s just the one nerdy loner character,, but here we get two and they’re just lovely for each other,,, lol i can totally see these dudes just moving in together and just getting married if they’re still both single by age 40 for the tax benefits

she was only in a couple of episodes,,, but i love love hearing joan again, especially that bit where caleb just infodumps at her all the shit he’s going through and she’s just 0_o that was such a fun throwback

minor thing, but the confirmation that the bryants are asian (when mark got oliver to take off his shoes when entering his house)

the soundscape and music was phenomenal! one of the most well done soundscapes i’ve ever had the pleasure of listening to,,, and the theme was stuck in my head all week

now,, all the things that i hated:

super mixed feelings about the bu crew,,,, im a fan of ride or die friendships, like what they were trying to go for here,, but like,,, the characters here aren’t very likable,,,

frankie’s flirting at caitlin came across as creepy rather than charming and it frustrates me so much that they got paired off by the end

i don’t get what ben’s deal is,,, i didn’t get much of their character outside of them being kidnapped and being a powerful atypical as plot device

and sadie’s just,,, she’s such a dick to adam and caitlin, constantly belittling and invalidating their feelings,,that line about her getting to be angry at adam and caleb but adam not being allowed to,,, just made my blood boil

also the characters act like she has just Very Good Takes:tm: on life and the human condition when they’re very much Not

honestly overall i don’t get what their deal is,, like what they’ve been through as friends, why they care for each other, how they got that way,,, and i don’t really have much reason to care for them

the adam caleb drama was so fun and like,,, honestly i was rooting for them to stay fucking apart by the end of the series,,, the weird pacing this show was going for made their ending feel super fucking rushed,, and they have way more fucking shit to deal with and talk about,,, and we’ll never get to see that cuz the show thought a tacked on ancient atypical cult conspiracy was more interesting,, which is a real fucking shame cuz what appealed so much about the original show is all the talking about feelings,,,

everything about the time fucking book and the atypical cult was not very compelling and felt forced and rushed and tacked on and there are so many plotholes,,, like,,, what are a bunch of fucking college kids gonna do about a conspiracy that’s been going on for generations,, and apparently even people like the am or the order can’t deal with them,, cuz they’re super hidden or whatever,,, but ppl just randomly hanging out in the library can fucking overhear all their bullshit

i was never given any believable explanation about why they can’t just ask the am to deal with this nonsense,,, when two very powerful people in the am care very deeply about the characters in the midst of this dangerous plot,,, and they already knew about it but did fucking nothing,,, and they keep fucking lampshading it but not actually address it. this whole nonsense felt like a ploy to get adam and caleb to talk to each other again when they seriously didn’t need it

blackwell was such a bad villain,, he was so melodramatic but not even in a fun way,,, and uggh,,, i can’t help but compare the new villains, this blackwell and hellen(?i can’t even remember her name) with the ones in the original series, wadsworth, agent green, damien,,, and the new ones feel like cartoon caricactures compared to how much nuance and depth and humanity the old antagonists were written with

also like,, the more information about the wider atypical world that’s laid out, the less fun and the less sense it makes,,, atypical secret societies are a thing??? and it’s also possible to find atypical communities online??? that just cheapens all of damien’s angst about being alone and not even knowing the word atypical until he met joan,, as well as how the order and the am value keeping knowledge of atypicals top secret, it doesn’t add up

it bothered me how they mentioned it should be impossible to turn a normal person into an atypical when like,, hello??? frank’s right there???

fuck oliver,,, there’s nothing fucking likable about this asshole,,he’s selfish, manipulative, a coward, smug,,, and not even in any charming or sympathetic ways,, he feels super tacked on,,, like he’s only there cuz the bullshit ancienty conspiracy plot demands it and i do not for one second believe any of the characters care about him

mark was just,,, so fucking under utilized,,, the characters always talk up caleb and mark’s brotherly bond, about how much they care for each other and how much he’s helped him out,, that’s really interesting i would actually like to fucking see it please,,, overall mark feels like his main point in this series is to just be an accessory to oliver

what the fuck do you mean that mark considers him his bestfriend?!?!? ano po?? tangina,, sam’s right fucking there,, and oliver has never shown in any genuine that he cares about mark and i don’t fucking see what mark sees in this guy

you know,,, all that fucking forced ship tease between these is literally the final nail in the coffin of my enjoyment of this universe,,, like you’re telling me that these two are actually gonna get together?? fuck that noise good fucking bye i want nothign to do with this series anymore

conclusion: i am just,, completely fucking done with this universe,,, honestly,, normally im not one to hate listen,, if i don’t like something,, i’ll just drop it and say it’s not my thing and move on..and im not one to just angrily yell about it into the void. but i can’t with this show,,, the original show really just meant the world to me,,, it was with me at some of the darkest points in my life and was one of the things that got me through em (cuz hey i can’t afford therapy and this show made a p good substitute at times asdkfljsad)..

i felt so betrayed,,, i really opened up myself to this one for all that. i should’ve learned my lesson after the disaster that was tama,,, the needless killing agent green was an indication of things to come,,, but i was cautiously optimistic for this show,, cuz it seemed they were going back to their roots by doing a story that’s more on just characters learning how to person and talk about their feelings,,, but oh god how badly was i mistaken,, they shoehorned another bs thriller action plotline when the characters by themselves were enough,,, and it seems that this is the direction this universe is taking,,, i want absolutely nothing more to do with,, im gonna unsub to the original feed and just block out all the tags and pretend i never interacted with this franchise in the first place

[marvinswriting]

Shoulder Devils

Prompt: five times Janis tried to fake okay and the one time she just couldn't OH MY GOD I LOVE 5+1S OFC (this was supposed to be posted next week but i got it written within a few hours and just wanted to post it now bc holy shit its 5+1 and janis angst, my two favorite things.)

The knot in her stomach felt wound up too tight, like it would tear her insides at any moment. 

Calm down, Janis, it's only the first day of school. The common sense part of her brain told her. 

But every other part of her was screaming a different story. 

It's your first day of high school after being homeschooled through the end of middle school. Nobody has seen you since you were plastic and you'll be totally alone during your tiny only classes.

She subconsciously gripped the shirt underneath her tighter. 

Janis was on Damian's shoulder as they walked to their first class of the day. 

She knew deep down she'd feel better if she vocalized her worries to Damian, that way an outside source could ease her stress, but Damian had his own worries. He was in charge of not only getting him but also Janis to their classes on time- spare her tiny periods.

Janis had unintentionally made him stressed more just by existing.

Now, that's a little dramatic. The common-sense voice in her head said. It eerily sounded like Damian. Quite fitting.

No, it's true. The other part of her brain said. This one sounded like herself. 

Janis felt like she had her own tiny people on her shoulders. Just these were devils and angles, not best friends. 

Damian stopped in front of a classroom.

"English, co-sized, room 148, period one."

Sure enough, they stood in front of room 148. Janis could see kids she recognized at their grade, no longer eight graders but now freshman. 

"This won't be middle school." Janis mumbled to herself, trying to be reassuring.

"What?" Damian asked as he stepped into the room.

"Nothing," Janis said, a bit to fast. "Just talking to myself."

So much for that no worrying Damian part. 

"Okay," Damian said slowly.

He doesn't believe you, you fucked up. Shoulder devil Janis taunted.

Damian sat in the front row of the class so Janis would be able to see the board.

"You're gonna do great today," Damian reassured her, like he could tell exactly what she needed to hear. "If you need me at all during the day, just text me, okay?"

Look, failure, you've got him all worried. Shoulder Janis mocked.

No, he's just looking out for you, like friends should. The reasonable Damian sounding subconscious said. 

"I'm fine, really." Janis said with a soft smile.

-

Janis was pro at keeping her freakouts internal. As a plastic, she learned it better to just keep her problems to herself, bottle them up till she's lying in bed at night and they explode, like a mento in cola. 

Damian didn't like the method of emotional management that Janis adapted, but old habits die hard. 

Janis knew Damian wouldn't tell her to shut up like Regina would.

But he'll still judge you. Shoulder Janis reminder her. They all judge you. 

So she kept her freakouts internal. 

Until one night. She was at Damian's house for a sleepover. For the longest time, Janis would sleep on a makeshift bed next to Damian's nightstand. It was safer that way. Even though both Damian and Janis knew when Damian fell asleep he slept like a rock and didn't move, it wasn't worth the risk.

Cuz you're small and fragile and nothing but a worry. Shoulder Janis said. The reassuring mind Damian was quiet. 

Nothing to say, because I'm right.

Janis looked over to Damian on his bed. He was lying on his back with his eyes closed, but Janis could tell he was still awake. She shifted slowly in the tiny bed, not wanting to worry Damian. 

He deserves better than to be worried by you.  The devil Janis sneered. 

Janis knew logically that these were her own thoughts, but it felt like somebody else was saying them to her, confirming everything she feared. She was just a burden who got in the way. An irritant to all. A hassle to Damian, who had to take her everywhere.

Just like that, the mento fell in the coca-cola.

She quickly brought her hand up to her mouth to cover a cry. She didn't want to disrupt Damian. Not while he was still awake. She could fall apart when he was asleep. 

Her shoulders shook as silent tears slipped down her face. Janis wiped them away briskly. 

"Janis?"

Damian was sitting up in bed, looking at her small girl. 

Even though the dark room, Janis could feel his eyes on her.

"I'm fine." She said abruptly. Her defensive tone cueing that she was in fact, not fine.

You fucked that one up.

Janis rubbed at the ghost tears on her face, pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes. 

Damian reached forward and scooped her up gingerly, his fingers wrapping around her gently as he laid back down on his side. He held Janis to his chest, like a kid holds a teddy bear. He didn't say anything or question her, just held her close. 

"I am fine, y' know" She said, but Janis gripped onto Damian's shirt despite herself, listening to Damian's heartbeat as they both fell asleep.

-

Janis? Where are you?

Janis glanced down at her phone. She was supposed to be meeting Damian at the tiny pick up zone, but instead, she was hiding in an empty classroom trying not to have a panic attack.

Nurse.

Janis typed back quickly, no point in telling the truth and getting Damian all worried.

Sorry if I made you wait too long and you're late to class.

You okay?

Yeah, im tits. dw about me

She placed her phone down, leaning against the cool concrete wall of the classroom. Damian would be heavily annoyed if she asked for help every time she felt this way.

He probably feels heavily annoyed with you no matter what. The inner Janis taunted.

"Right."

-

Janis knew Damian could tell she was upset. Janis also knew he wasn't gonna push her to talk about or bring it up first. And on top of all this knowledge, Janis knew she was in no way gonna vocalize her feelings. 

Sucks for her.

They were sitting in class, and Janis was trying to face forward and do her work, but her mind went anywhere other than algebra. 

She could feel Damian staring at her, but she refused to turn around a make eye contact. Janis did a shit job at hiding her emotions that morning, but she wasn't the type to admit when she was wrong.  Especially not after saying she was fine so many times earlier. 

Even though all she wanted to do was sleep in Damian's pocket until she had to go home, then sleep some more, she knew she just needs to push through the day under everyone's radar.

Because she was fine.

Yup, sure you are. Shoulder Janis was back, and as annoying as ever.

-

Janis was pretty sure her 'shoulder angle Damian' was just her brain spitting out anything positive Damian had ever said to her back out at her. 

Because it all sounded very familiar.  

But it all also got drowned out by the shoulder devil Janis, who was loud and mean and most importantly, she was right.

Anything shoulder Damian said, shoulder Janis had a counter that made more logical sense.

Does Damian actually like you?

Of course, he does, he's your friend! Why else would he carry you around all the time and care so much?

Pitty.

That one word made Janis's head spin because it made so much sense. 

Poor space dyke. Outed in front of her whole class in middle school. A tiny who can't do jack shit by herself. Who wouldn't feel bad?

"Janis?" She was sitting on Damian's shoulder as they (no- Damian) walked to lunch. She hadn't noticed they'd arrive because she was so lost in thought.

"I'm fine." She said.

-

"I can't spend every second with you, its not my fault you're like in love with me."

They were at the Hubbard's. Cady was long gone. But her words still echoed. 

Damian was holding Janis to his chest, one hand underneath her, the other gently pressing her there. 

Janis wasn't crying. She told herself she wouldn't cry over something like this again. 

But crying or not, she felt sick. Like Cady physically ripped out her heart and stomped on it.

"Janis?" Damian asked, his voice vibrating through her small body.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not." Damian says. For once he doesn't ignore it or move along.

"You're allowed to be hurting, you're allowed to not be okay. I'll still be here with an okay Janis and a not okay Janis because you are my best friend and I love you. I know I can't make the hurt go away but I want to help and I can't do that if you shut me out and say you're fine"

It sounded like something shoulder Damian had said so many times, but hearing the real Damian say it, it drowned out the shoulder Janis, and suddenly, Janis wasn't fine. But that was okay.

Damian didn't move or interrupt her as she cried, blubbering about everyone thinking she's a stupid lesbian.  

Damian didn't leave like Cady did, or judge her like Regina did.

Because he wasn't Cady or Regina.

He was Damian.

Janis felt bad for lying to him this whole time. 

Of course, Damian wouldn't leave her, or make fun of her, or take pity on her.

Damian hung out with her because he loved her, and Janis didn't need any small shoulder people to tell her that.

Tag list: @musicallygt @realmisspolarbear @smallsoysauce @sourishlemons

[shiro-0197]

aw shiro, my love, don't worry about it!! i only hope you're okay and safe :d please only reply when you're free, and don't feel bad about it!! >:(

my day yesterday was okay, i've just been relaxing, and studying occasionally. went out to explore a nearby town too, it's so pretty there. and much colder (since it's a highlands) of course!! Today was great too. I bought doughnuts (they're amazing?? I love doughnuts), and I had instant ramen, but it was SO spicy I nearly died. (Three bottles of water later, because someone finished all the milk in the household *cough* me *cough*) and I'm still just reeling. Sucks having such low spice tolerance HAHA. I'm listening to some old school hip-hop rn, while typing this out :D how were your two days?

here are some i'll be using to teach english :d and that would honestly be much appreciated, he's getting on my last nerve rn. (I included the first few, what do you think?)

thats such a priceless feeling i so totally agree. you're so precious 🥺🥺 i'm sure they're prouder thank you imagine. you're so dedicated!! i'm sure all that extra research you've done will definitely pay off. it's good that you know what the job is roughly like, so you'll be really prepared when you finally do start it. you know that one scene, in the 2nd season of the great pretender? when the chinese mafia boss emphasizes the importance of a translator in literally everything? (like that book award example) i may be getting the thing muddled up, but i found that so cool. like yeah, a book or speech could be absolutely beautiful, but if everyone can't enjoy it due to it being a different language, it would be such a shame. i just find translators really important. sorry, i'm really dorky haha 🥺🥺

awww but i think your personality type is wonderful. a lot of my favourite characters are intj (they're all so precious istg grrrr) yes!! i was in a tooru brainrot yesterday too 😭😭😭 (saw a bunch of couples on my walk, and I was like "if only Tooru was real grrrr") and yes?? there'd be so much to learn from each and every one of them. dedication from hinata, savage lines from tsukki, kindness from yams/yachi, how to be a dork 101 from atsumu. aaaah 😭😭i'm sorry they're all so wonderful.

No pftttt I totally feel you. I saw some people without masks today and I was like "bro wtf" and just really loudly said "I sure hope everyone starts following the rules so the cases don't increase" because I'm a lil bitch like that xD

awww okay!! I'll definitely keep that in mind. Mayo makes everything better, tbh >.< aww that's understandable! I don't have specific preferences but hearing the phrase "soggy cheese" makes me want to cry somewhere :( I don't like nuts in chocolate. I'm very passionate about that? XD ikr??

I'm surprised too, I usually never pass on murder, but I guess you're just special like that 👉👈 sir I'd get married to you as many times as you'd like 😼 oops sorry for being cheesy, but—you like cheese ;)

U

I won't ask why, don't worry. Since I kinda feel the same about Malaysia tbh. It's a love hate relationship, I think HAHA but yeah 😣😣 i don't look up to US at all, and it sucks because people generally do. And I'm just like ;-; why (no offense to Americans tho lol)

is that even legal omg they're so chaotic?? XD how cute tho. Angel does stuff like that all the time too, but I'd never know that when I first met her (she has the most perfect exterior, and then when you get to know her; she's the biggest dork) Schools opening on the 20th, I can't wait to see her then :] (I can, however, wait for the exams which are scheduled for the 25th ugh)

peanut butter is indeed yellow, not up for discussion hehe :) here's my favourite hues!! I love gentle, soft hues like these (pastels) , for yellow; I don't have a favourite. they're all wonderful

ahhh no that's so precious of you!! :)) I'm smiling rn.

yeah skdhskdjsk I'M JUST SO GRRR. Whenever someone goes "hey Ari can you ______" and we both respond?? The tension?? In the air?? Bro skdjskks. 😔🤚 You share a name with one of the most precious characters too tho!!;

This is Shiro from Voltron hehe. I love him so much, just like I love you (tho I'm sure we both know I love you more <3)

I share a name with a book character. His name is Aristotle Mendoza, but his crush-turned-boyfriend calls him "Ari" (which has been my nickname since I was 12). Reading it for the first time was the BEST feeling ever. It's also my favourite book, "Aristotle and Dante discover the secrets of the universe".

—Ari :D (no pfttt I love the tag so much. I have my own tag, that's like the best thing ever 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺)

Heyyy I'm so sorry for answering so late!! I know you said not to apologize but..... well hmm no excuse I just feel like apologizing, but either way thank you for your patience!!♡ This is the third time I'm rewriting this, and this time I'm doing this in my notes because fuck it😔

Im glad to hear that!! Highlands are always so pretty. Wish we had those here, but it's only steppe here:( Boring~ ooh, donuts!!! They're really good. I havent much, but I tried them like 3 times and they're so good. I really hope I will get to eat more<3 also WHAT'S THOSE NOODLES' NAME I WANNA KNOW- Are you feeling okay now, though? XD

My days were nice!!! Felt as if I had been hiding three bodies, but I've been feeling better lately. We had online school yesterday so I'm excused from the errands for the half of the day, thankfully. But your messages make me very happy. Though I dont always feel like writing a response (or I get stressed because it doenst save) so very sorry for that😔

Ohh those look so pretty!! I'd totally join to just look at them. The colors are so nice🥺 it looks like one of our olympiad prep slides, though better. I dont have the screenshots sadly😩 Either way I really love the little details like the squiggly thingies or the Ж .... they seem unnecessary but the energy changes a lot without them hehe

I really hope they will be🥺 that'd mean a lot to me. And I'm also really hopeful itll work out. I really don't wanna disappoint my family, which is literally just one person. The less people there are, the more it hurts, you know?

Yeah, that scene meant so much to me!! I dknt remember much, but I was very happy they said something like that, because I've been told being a translator wont work out for me. Now look at me, I'm about to tell them to fuck themselves<3 I was also so surprised to see Laurent know that many languages ..... I aspire to be like him😩 And honestly, I havent though so deep of that but you opened my eyes and now I'm about to float off into the next universe😭 dont apologize though, its very cute!!!♥︎♥︎

Heheh, I guess you're right.. every single anime INTJ is a silent sexy mastermind and I love them . ... YEAH every single time I see a passing couple i cry because I dont have anyone 😡💔 and sometimes when I see people doing something amusing (which includes people failing cuz I'm evil) I just imagine one of the characters doing that and I smile all the way xD Honestly, I'd sell my father on black market for a single day with one of them:( though that may sound like a really low price because his cigarette filled lungs wouldnt cost a lot... I sound like my 7th grade self again I'm so sorry

BAHQHHANEJWJD I HOPE THEY WERE EMBARRASED. I HOPE THEY FELT AWKWARD AND OTHER PEOPLE DID TOO, they deserve it. Like, learn your lesson bitch, it's been a year!

Yeah!!! I love mayo, not to the point where I would gulp it down from the package, but it does make dishes taste good. Same, soggy cheese on itself sounds like a dish served in the ninth circle of hell. You should try nuts in honey!! Like, just straight up dip them in honey. Sounds weird, and it doesnt always taste NEJFJKSKF (depends on the honey)but I think it's worth trying xD Walnuts are the best with honey I think

That was so funny ... TOO FUNNY, I LAUGHED FOR LIKE . 3MINUTES STRAIGHT and I do not laugh when I'm tired. You really are special 😭😭😭😭 cheesy ... HAHRNFJJSF

I'm so sorry for being a bully like that but it's so funny how you left a single U there . Its so mysterious, was it in purpose? Or were you lost in the excitement if messaging me?

I was one of those people, honestly 😭 but mostly because I wasnt aware of its political condition, I guess. Maybe theres more than just politics that's bad about US, but honestly, it has more opportunities than this hellfire. Though now I'm more into Norway and Japan. Really wanna travel there :(

Heheh, yeah, we never really show off to strangers at first. I dont know what exactly I mean by we, but you get my point ♡ Good luck though!! I hope it goes well for you<3

Oh they looks so pretty!! They're really wonderful. Like bubblegum and cotton candy and literally anything sweet... it's so cute !!! And I totally agree, there isnt a bad yellow.

HAHAH, honestly, that reminds me of how there were 4 people with the same name in my class, and whenever the teacher did the attendance thing, they would all stand up. Teachers usually dont say the last names, so we always gotta ask which person they mean if theres more than one person with that name, so yeah.. That happened on accident at first, but then they just did it for trolling xD

OH MY GOD HES SO PRETTY? HES SO PRECIOUS?? HUHHH??? I gotta thank Kuro for this wonderful opportunity of sharing a name with someone like .... him🥺

Oh that's so cool!! Also, he has a boyfriend ... I really need to start reading xD it's so cute though! It sounds like such a good book, I'm glad you share a name with him, hehe!!

I also share my real name with one of the characters in a kids' show, and its SO ugly, I'm in pain. Every time my friends see one of those on TV they go

Which is a pain in the ass, it's so embarrassing...........

Awh, okay!! I'm glad you love it, cuz I do too. Because it's your name.... cuz I love u. That was so lame PLEASEJWJDJSJF I HOPE YOUR DAY WAS GREAT !!! LOVE YOU

[spootiliousrps]

Wolfstar Charms

You both like sirius/remus.

Stranger: [6th year, Remus hasn't told his friends about the werewolf gig yet.] Hey, so. I heard you talking to McKinnon after Magical Creatures today. Is that how you really feel about werewolves and vampires? Marlene was saying some pretty hard shit.-R

You: Well, I don't know what was said, but yeah. I mean, they attack anyone that gets close enough and spread their condition like a disease. They're better off where they can be kept an eye on that let loose in the world. -S

Stranger: But like. Every werewolf? -R

Stranger: And they only turn one night every month -R

You: But how can you be sure? I mean maybe not constantly but at least as their cycle gets closer. You heard what the professor said, they're practically monsters. I would feel safer if something was done about them. I'm not saying to kill them but something should be done. Even if its requiring them to be locked up during that time. -S

You: Why are you so curious about this anyways? -S

Stranger: I don't know. I just think it's wrong to prosecute an entire race of people, some of which may have done nothing wrong. -R

Stranger: There's bad ones, sure, but like. Thats not everyone. Just like not every pure blood is evil. -R

Stranger: Should we round up all of you lot and lock you up? -R

Stranger: I--fuck, I'm usually more eloquent about this, I'm just tired. -R

You: Whoa! Hey! That is not the same thing! I'm not saying to enslave them or anything like that! Locking them up during a transformation is humane! It would be for the protection of both them and the people around them. I know its not their fault. I'm not an idiot. -S

Stranger: It's inhumane to lock anyone up. -R

You: [Delay] Yeah... you usually are lol. I'm not use to seeing you so riled up. Whats got you so tired. -S

Stranger: Like -- would you want to lock me up for the week before the full moon if I was a werewolf or something? -R

Stranger: You said they're basically monsters -R

Stranger: Nothing, it's nothing. I just didn't sleep well, okay? -R

You: They are. Basically monsters I mean... but that doesn't make the people they infect monsters. I mean... the beast that comes out at night is not the person they are the rest of the time yeah?-S I mean, I never really considered it but... Would you have a better idea? Look at it from the person's point of view. You heard about the wizard that woke up after a cycle to find he had slaughtered his whole family? Sure, it sounds cruel when you explain it like that but they guy ended up offing himself cuz he couldn't live with what he had done. If I were a werewolf I'd want to be locked up during my cycle to protect you guys. I mean, I wouldn't know what I'd do if I hurt one of you. -S Maybe you should talk to one of the Ravenclaws, they might be able to slip you something to help sleep a bit better. A charm or something? -S

Stranger: I'm sure the werewolves that actually care take proper precautions. -R

Stranger: There was that one, sure, but. -R

Stranger: All the wolves in the media are all those nasty ones, that just was to cause mayhem. They should be punished for their crimes sure, but you can't control an entire race, that's not right

Stranger: I know plenty of charms. -R

You: Listen, Remus. I'm not going to pretend like I know why you have such a hard on for werewolves' rights suddenly and I'm also not going to pretend like I know everything. You asked and I told you. If you have a better idea for dealing with them then great. As far as I'm concerned it doesn't really involve me and its not like I'm going to write a strongly worded letter to the Minister to try and convince him of anything. Regardless of how either of us feels if a werewolf attacks us in the middle of the night I'm not going to be too torn up for defending myself. -S

Stranger: ..right. Sure. -R

Stranger: I'm going to go nap in Pomfrey's office. -R

You: Probably for the best. Want me to come fetch you for lunch? -S You're even worse when you don't eat. -S

Stranger: Um -R

Stranger: Maybe, I don't know. -R

Stranger: I can ask Peter to bring me something -R

You: [Delayed] If you're sure. Let me know if you change your mind. I promised James I'd meet him on the pitch before third so I won't be doing much. -S

Stranger: you'll be late for transfig -R

You: Wouldn't be the first time. -S

Stranger: Gonny's gonna murder you -R

You: I'd like to see them try. Besides, Lily is suppose to be there too. No one ever gets on to her. -S

Stranger: well.. I hope you guys have a nice time. -R

You: It'd be nicer if you would join us. -S

Stranger: um -R

Stranger: I can see if I can grab some coffee. -R

You: Awesome! I'll swing by the kitchens and bribe one of the house elves for those sweets you like so much. -S

Stranger: sure, yeah. -R

Stranger: I'll see you on the pitch then. -R

You: [[Switch to para?]]

Stranger: [[sure!!]

Stranger: [[I can start]]

You: [[Sounds good]]

Stranger: Every bone in his body hurt before the full moon. Every movement was filled with pain, and the entire week of the moon he felt like he wanted to crawl out of his skin. And he would've, if it meant that it'd stop. Remus dragged a hand through his hair as he made the hike down the hill from the castle to the quidditch pitch, slipping onto the field without being seen. James and Lily were already there, talking quit close together over on the edge of the field. He raised a hand to offer a hello, a grimace on his face with each movement.

You: "Remus!" Sirius called from Remus' right. He was still a few yards away an bulging cloth tucked under his right arm, a few pastries peaking out from beneath it. His left was tugging on a Peter's elbow as the other boy seemed to shift his gaze this way and that as if worried they'd be caught and taken to the dungeon's at any moment. "There you are! I was worried I might have to go to Pomfry's office after al-" he cut himself off as he drew up close enough to make out the boy's expression. "Christ, you look like shite. You weren't kidding earlier were you?"

Stranger: It wasn't fun, being woken up in the middle of the night with agonizing pain. He glanced over to Sirius as he came over to him, and he offered a small smile. "Yeah, I uh, rallied. I have my coffee in my bag so, hopefully that'll get me through potions later." Hey sighed. He nodded to Peter, and glanced back over at Lily and James. "It's fine though. Like I said, I just. Didn't really sleep." he had bags under his eyes, his face a little sunken in. "Whatcha got there?"

You: Sirius glanced down at the bundle as if he had forgotten about it entirely. "Oh, right!"

You: [sorry wasn't done]

Stranger: [nw]

You: Sirius glanced down at the bundle as if he had forgotten about it entirely. "Oh, right! I told you I was gonna swing by the kitchens. Swung by the potion's classroom too," he added with a wink and a grin. "Got a surprise for ya." "I-I had n-nothing to do with it," Peter rushed as if that would save him any grief should they be caught. Sirius just rolled his eyes and pulled him onward as he headed for James and Lily, obviously expecting Remus to follow. "Snatched a few Wideeye potions from the stores while Slughorn was distracted," Sirius admitted, still grinning proudly.

Stranger: Remus laughed softly, shaking his head as he followed them over towards James and Lily. "You're gonna get caught one day, you know?" he said teasingly. "I'd be nervous if Slughorn's rage came down on me, man. He's old but I can tell he's gotta temper." He stifled a yawn into his arm, and let out a puff of air. "I have so much course work to get done tonight." He frowned.

Stranger: [hey im jumping in the shower rq I'll be like. less than ten minutes]

You: "Well my luck hasn't run out yet," Sirius teased lightly. "Oi! James! Stop making pillow eyes at Lilly and get a move on!" Sirius called out to his friend with a laugh before focusing back on Remus. "Luckily for you, of course. Otherwise who would be here to pick you up when you need it ah? Peter?" he teased, elbowing the chubby boy in the ribs. "I-I... T-thats not..." "Relax Peter. I'm only teasing, lighten up."

You: [[Take your time. If we get disconnected I'll be under the tag spootilious]]

Stranger: [back! just gotta get like dried off[

You: [[wb]]

Stranger: Remus watched Sirius for a moment, shaking his head. "Maybe James?" he offered, snorting softly. As they approached, James flipped Sirius off, focusing back on Lily for a moment. "--Did we skip Transfigurations just to watch you talk to some lass?"

You: "No offense, Lilly," Sirius added as if as an after thought. He was a brave and reckless boy sure but he knew better than to piss off a woman, especially on that was such a talented witch. "You could do better than this sod," he teased lightly practically jumping into James' lap and ruffling his hair.

Stranger: "Yes, absolutely no offense," Remus agreed, nodding. Lily just let out a soft laugh. "Of course. Why'd we all come out here, James, did you want to go show off on that broom of yours?" she prodded at his side. Remus sat down heavily, a small grunt escaping him with the hard movement.

You: Sirius's gaze followed Remus' movements and despite his outward jovial appearance, worry lined his eyes. Typically he would have wrestled with James a bit, mock flirting with him, but as it was he allowed the other boy to shove him from his lap, depositing him next to Remus with a grunt of his own. "Rude," Sirius mock pouted but shifted back a bit to give himself room. He laid out the cloth, sweets still piled in the middle. Without hesitation he took two from the top and offered one out to Remus before shoving the other in his mouth.

Stranger: He didn't even want to know how completely like shit he must look like. And tomorrow, he would be concealing his bruised and battered body just like he did every day after a full moon. He glanced over at Sirius as he laid out the pile of sweets and pastries. He smiled, softly, and took the offered treat. "Thanks," he said softly, taking a bite. He let out a long sigh, and leaned his head on the man's shoulder, puffing out a breath.

You: Sirius tried to be as still as possible for the other man, only moving to reach into his robes and produce the small vile of wideeye potion he promised. Peter sank down next to the two reaching for a few sweets of his own. He may have refused to admit his part in the thievery, but he had no quarrel about partaking in the spoils. Sirius wouldn't admit it but his anxiety regarding Remus odd behavior had skyrocketed upon the sight of him and wasn't getting any better.

Stranger: Remus offered a small smile, and took the vial from the man. He twirled it in between his fingers, he uncorked it, and grimaced for a moment before he took it like a firewhiskey shot, closing his eyes tight and shuddering. "Oh, that's so gross."

Stranger: [brb!]

You: Sirius couldn't help but chuckle at the words. "I've caught you snogging Prevel Martin. I'm sure it can't be worse than that!" he countered making the group laugh, though his own didn't quite reach his eyes. They were still pinned to Remus, dark and calculating, as he tried to piece together the puzzle before him.

Stranger: "That was a dare!" he cried, elbowing him in the side. He could feel the effects of the potion almost instantly, though he was still full of his aches. He could feel how tired his eyes were, but the potion buzzed away inside of him and kept the open. His eyes flickered over and met Sirius's gaze, and he let out a puff of breath. "What, were you just upset it wasn't you?"

You: Sirius tensed in surprise at the sudden retort, forcing his grin wider to try and hide the blush. "Oh, yeah. I've always dreamed of snogging that ugly mug of yours," he teased. "Sounds more like a nightmare," Peter added around a mouth full of food. Sirius just laughed harder.

Stranger: Remus snorted softly and grabbed another pastry, kicking his boot out towards Peter playfully. "Aye, just you wait, bastards. Give me a year or two and I'll be taller than James."

You: "Pfft, not likely," Sirius scoffed playfully before turning towards James. "I'm suppose to be in transfiguration right now. Whats up? Or did you just want to bore us again with another one of your rants about Muggle studies again?"

Stranger: Remus scrunched his nose up and rolled his eyes, before he snuck another treat, eyes turning to James. "Yeah, what is it?" James looked affronted and scoffed. "What, a guy can't just ask his mates and-- his uh. non-mate." a glance to Lily. "To come and hang out and skip class?"

You: Sirius snorted at that. "Sure you can, but I think I rather be learning how to turn into a dragon than to have to stare at your ugly mug," he replied, sticking out his tongue. "You can't transfigure into a dragon," Peter commented absently reaching for another treat. "Says you! I bet I could turn into Norwegian Ridgeback by the end of the year if I wasn't skipping class!" he grinned, pointedly looking at James and knowing full well it wasn't the truth.

Stranger: Remus quirked a brow at him. "Actually, not possible. Not a dragon, at least," he nodded. He glanced towards James. "What was that thing we were reading last week? Animagus?" he questioned. "You can turn into an animal, but like. I think it has to be within a certain size."

You: "A baby dragon then," Sirius shrugged before James could answer. "Enough to breath fire and do some damage at least." "Yeah and probably shit everywhere," James laughed. "Good, another job for Finch and his cat," Sirius laughed.

You: *Filch

Stranger: Remus laughed, but it sounded distant even to himself. James looked over at the other lads and quirked a brow. "Shit aren't they covering Wolves and shit in Creatures today? What if you could turn into one of them?"

You: Sirius' smile faded a bit at the question. What was with all this talk about wolves? "I dunno, wolves are just vicious dogs right? I think I would rather be a regular one. Lounge about all day, get fat on treats, swarmed by women all the time." "Sniffing butts," James added with an arched brow. "Hey, don't knock it 'til you try it," Sirius countered.

Stranger: James laughed loudly. "But no, like, hear me out. You could scare the fuck out of any of your friends, if you like. Showed up at their house as a massive fucking wolf. Like would you shit yourself right there?"

You: "I dunno," Sirius continued. "I still think a dragon would be better. What do you think Remus?" he asked turning towards his best friend.

Stranger: Remus blinked a couple of times, and forced another laugh from himself. "Uh. Maybe a rabbit," he said lamely, clearing his throat. He ran a hand through his hair, and he suddenly did not feel very great at all, his stomach churning uneasily.

You: Sirius hesitated as he watched the color begin to drain from his friend's skin. "Don't rabbits mate like crazy?" he asked trying to hide his concern. "I always knew you had a promiscuous side," he teased. "Either way, it won't matter what we want to turn into if we don't learn how," he pointed out, pushing to his feet.

Stranger: The man cleared his throat, letting out a long breathe and tried to stop the queasy feeling. Almost as bad as the bone and joint aches, he hates the nausea that comes along with it, as the full moon ticked closer and closer. "James could probably find the book with the animagus spell in it." he murmured. "I uh. I have a ton of homework to do, and I have a feeling I'll...be falling asleep early tonight. I should get it done."

You: Sirius offered out a hand to help the other up. "Nah, I bet he's too distracted making eyes at Lily," Sirius teased, fluttering his lashes at the girl playfully. "Right, Lily?"

Stranger: Lily snapped out of her little world with James, a blush coming across her cheeks. "What? Oh, um--" she glanced over at James. "Nobody is making eyes at anyone."

You: "Ha! Right! Whatever you say, Lily," Sirius chuckled before making a kissing face towards them both. "You guys don't do anything I wouldn't do," he teased with a wink, "I think I'm gonna walk Remus to his next class before he collapses on himself."

Stranger: Lily rolled her eyes and flipped him off as well, something she had picked up from James no doubt. Remus glanced up as he was mentioned, and frowned. "I'm not gonna collapse. Wide awake, see?"

You: Sirius paid Remus no mind as he pulled him a long, calling over his shoulder. "James you're a bad influence on her!" he laughed just as they turned the corned and were suddenly on their own. Sirius let his smile fade now that they didn't have an audience though he didn't speak, unsure of what to say.

Stranger: Remus grumbled but sighed, following Sirius. He let him get pulled along, his bag swinging over his shoulder. When they were out of sight, the man glanced over his shoulder. "They're insane ,the lot of them.."

You: "Might as well include us in that lot as well, Remus," Sirius pointed out before shooting the man a side glance. "You're hiding something, aren't you?" he asked deciding that a blunt approach would be best.

Stranger: "I'm hardly insane." he puffed a breath out. "I'm the sanest one around." At the accusation, Remus stopped in his steps, and he frowned. "What would I be hiding."

You: Sirius turned to him, studying the bags under his eyes and his exhausted features. "That's what I would like to know," he countered, "You obvious haven't slept, you're moody, and you know enough about charms that if it were something as simple as a bad dream you would have taken care of it by now," Sirius pointed out, crossing his arms over his chest, "Exams aren't for a few months and-" he paused, realization striking, a devilish smile spreading across his lips. "You've been sneaking out, haven't you?! Who is she? Couldn't be a Gryffindor or you wouldn't be up all night... Is it that Hufflepuff girl I always see trailing after you? What was her name? Levy? Levi? Lindsye?" he pretended to stumbled over the girl in question, knowing full well her name was Lauraine, not wanting Remus to think that he pays far too much attention to him.

Stranger: Remus felt like he was going to throw up for real now. He sucked in a breath and rolled his eyes, pushing a hand through his hair. "Fuck man, maybe I just had a bad night sleep, okay?" he frowned. "I get -- insomnia sometimes. I don't like to take potions all the time because I don't think it's good for you ." he felt his face heat up at the insinuation that he was hooking up with a Hufflepuff, and he groaned, covering his face with his hands. "Sirius, shut the hell up. Please." he shook his head. "I'm not--I'm not sneaking out with some girl."

You: "Some guy then?" Sirius shrugged, his grin broadening to hide his sudden wave of jealousy. "Hey, I'm not one to judge, we're mates regardless of who you decide to shack up with." He moved to loop his arm around Remus' and start walking again. "No reason to get cranky about it."

Stranger: Remus let out a shaky breath. "I'm not shaking up with some guy, either," he groaned. "I'm--" he paused for a long moment, trying to come up with something on the spot. "I'm taking extra lessons with Gonny. At night, when everyone's asleep. Not a lot, just like. Every couple weeks. She's.. helping me learn some higher level charms and stuff."

You: "Oh," Sirius mumbled a bit put out, but far more relieved than anything. "Wait... why do you need to know higher charms? I mean, I get that you're talented and all, but that's a bit excessive and why would you keep that a secret?" he asked absently, brows furrowing as he attempted to work it all out.

Stranger: He shrugged. "She didn't want the other students getting jealous." He explained, frowning. "I just. Was curious, and thought about maybe going into a job with the Ministry with it, so." he cleared his throat. "And she likes that I'm a hard worker, so she was willing to teach me. If you want to join you can go ask her, but--"

You: "Brilliant! I could use some extra studies in Charms. If I'm gonna become an Aura I have to get Outstanding on the OWLS and I only got Exceeds, but I was talking to Peter earlier and they're letting him retake his. Maybe they'll let me retake mine!" Sirius chimed, beaming with excitement as he pulled away from his mate. "I'm going to see if I can speak to the Headmaster about the exams. Meet you in the common room after supper?" He called already hurrying down the corridor.

Stranger: Remus opened his mouth in surprise at Sirius's willingness to take up extra charms and transfiguration lessons, and he looked surprised. But before he could even make a rebuttal, Sirius was off. "Fuck," he groaned, and shook his head, trying to race to Minerva's office to go and tell him what he had done. Besides Dumbledore, she was the only person that knew what he was. He best go ask her if they could start up some random charms practice now and then.

You: [[Quick questions (srry just want to make sure I don't overstep): Do you have a preference on how you want this to go or do you just want to wing it? Are you wanting to do the scene with Minerva or Dumbledore or skip to that even? I figured with Sirius it could go two ways either they tell him yes but he didn't talk to the charms prof so he shows up just all like 'hi! ready to go to charms, mate?!' or he figures out somethings off and there is no extra charms and he confronts Remus about lying to him. ]]

Stranger: [[ooh lets maybe do the lying ]

Stranger: [and uh. lets skip the scenes with Dumbledore and minerva]

You: [[Ooo ^.^ yay I was hoping you'd go with the lying >:3 ]]

Stranger: <3]

You: Sirius managed to attend the rest of his classes though he seemed a bit stand offish whenever he caught sight of Remus or James and Peter for that matter. He didn't bother showing up for dinner either. In fact, it wasn't until they were to meet in the Gryffindor common room that he showed his face. His usual smile was absent, replaces by pursed lips as he studied Remus silently for a moment. It seemed as if the dark haired man wasn't going to speak at first, but eventually he let out a heavy sigh. "Charms, huh?" he asked evenly, a brow arching as he pinned Remus with a dark stare, waiting for his next excuse.

Stranger: brb!!]

Stranger: Remus wasn't able to find Mcgonogall all afternoon. In her study, in class -- He finally had to give up to try and find her. He needed to get some homework done. He finished out his classes and was immediately kept up in the common room the rest of the night, hurriedly scrawling away, watching the clock tick away. The moon would be at it's highest point by 9pm, which meant he needed to leave by 8pm to get himself hidden in the shrieking shack. He glanced up as he felt the gaze of someone on him, and he parted his lips. "I--um. What?" he asked weakly. He only had twenty minutes before he had to leave.

You: "Don't play dumb Remus, its not a good look on you," Sirius grumbled, crossing his arms. "You lied to me! We're suppose to be best mates! Best mates don't lie to one another!" he snapped, losing a bit of his temper.

Stranger: Remus snapped his mouth close and let out a shaky breath. "I--" he stammered, and made another glance at the clock. "You're right." he nodded quickly. "I'm. seeing that Hufflepuff girl. Lauraine." he said quickly. "I didn't want to get the same shit that James gets for Lily because she's.. shy."

You: "Bullshit," Sirius snapped without hesitation. "You know the only reason I give James hell about Lily is because Lily is just as much a mate as he is. You are also a horrible liar..." he hesitated, something similar to pain crossing his features. "or at least I thought you were. Whatever you're hiding Remus... I hope its worth it," he spat, his anger returning full force as he gave the other boy a shove.

Stranger: Remus really didn't have the energy in him so close to the moon. When Sirius shoved him, he knocked back hard into the corner of the table, letting out a little yelp. "Maybe just mind your own business," he huffed out through a grimace. "If I wanted you to know, then I'd tell you."

You: "Last I checked, you are my business!" Sirius growled, kicking the chair between them out of the way. "At least, if we're best mates, it is... but then again, apparently... we're not," he added his voice lowering once more. "My mistake."

You: [[brb]]

Stranger: [nw]

Stranger: Remus backed away from the man, moving to start shoving his papers and books back into his bag. "I don't have to tell you everything about me, Sirius. Just. Drop it, okay?" he huffed out a long breath, swinging his bag over his shoulder. "I have to go."

Stranger: brb]

You: "No, of course, not! Why would you?!" Sirius snapped at him. "Go then! I'm not stopping you! It's not like I could even if I tried, obviously! Just don't expect me to come looking for you when you're late for class in the morning... or when you need another potion! I would hate to assume you needed me for anything."

Stranger: Remus felt a hard shudder run through his body, and he doubled over briefly. He glanced at the clock and puffed a breath. Why was he-- the moon didn't finish for another hour, at least. It dawned on him, there, that he forgot to account for the time change. He made a noise in his throat, hands shaking. "I'm--I'm sorry, I have to go." he said, and bolted from the common room.

You: Sirius' hesitated as he watched Remus falter, his anger and hurt forgotten. "Remus!" he jerked forward, intent on giving the man a hand but he was already bolting down the corridor leading towards the stairs. "Remus!" Sirius called after him, a spike of worry joining the concoction of emotions swirling inside him. He paused for a breath... another... before he realized what he was doing he was half way down the stairs, barely managing to keep the other boy in his sights.

Stranger: Remus was shaking, feeling his breath coming out hard, his bones aching inside of his skin. He had to pause, once, as another hard shudder rippled through him, before he was staggering towards the hidden passage behind the statue. He heard Sirius calling behind him, and just hoped he could keep out of his eye sight. Sirius couldn't be there for him, it was too dangerous.

You: "Remus wait!" Sirius called again, the words coming out breathless as he hurried down the stairs, catching a glimpse of the other boy just as he ducked behind one of the statues. Sirius didn't hesitate to follow, blindly following at this point. Whatever Remus was hiding was more than just some silly secret between friends that much was obvious now. But whatever it /was/, judging by the shaking and cries coming from the other boy was painful and possibly dangerous. Sirius had heard of some slytherins selling gillyweed and waking death to other students for kicks but... he had never pinned Remus as one to partake in something so dangerous. Now, however, he couldn't be so sure.

Stranger: Remus could feel the blood rushing in his ears, drowning out all other sounds. He made it to the statue, ducking behind it and entering the hidden passage. It was mostly dirt, dug through what had to be centuries ago, making his way under Hogwarts and towards the shrieking shack. He just needed to get there, then he could -- he could let the shift finish. A strained whimper came from his throat, seeing the door in sight. He reached to yank it open, clambering out. He fell to his hands and knees onto the old, rotting, wooden floor of the shack, gasping for air. He could feel the howl starting to catch in his throat.

You: Sirius slid to a stop in front of the small tunnel, heart sinking. He hated tight spaces... They were worse than boggarts... He shifted from one foot to another before he managed enough courage to dive in, doing his best to focus on the way Lupin had sounded, the way he had shivered. His friend needed him whether he knew it or not and Sirius was sure as hell going to- A howl broke through the sound of his trembling breaths making him pause, glancing up at the small bit of moonlight at the end of the tunnel. Remus wasn't alone! Something was there! He had to get to him! "Remus!!!!" He called desperately, doubling his efforts as he crawled through the tight space. "Remus! I'm coming!"

Stranger: [agsjldf sorry im helping boyfriend w/ dinner so lots of back and forth. we can always move to email or discord if its easier. brb]

You: [[No worries! I gotta get my son to bed anyways. Discord is still working for me but I would love to continue via email when we have to cut off if that's cool. I would hate to lose ya. Good Rp partners are so hard to come by.]]

Stranger has disconnected.

[thesasscat]

The Mandela Effect

I don't know who might see this but I'm going to say this right now I AM NOT CRAZY! I just need someone, ANYONE to believe me! It all started a few days ago . .

My life is FAR from perfect, my wife and I are poor getting by on thrifting, and food pantries; I work a job I despise, but my family is what makes it beautiful. The day ended as usual, tucking my eldest in bed for the night, getting my infant to sleep and finally my wife and I going to bed.

This is where things, went so wrong. I've lived my whole life not knowing my greatest fear until I learned about a moment in history called "The man from a country that doesn't exist" and then i realised that was in fact my greatest fear. I'm now living that scenario!

* * *

I woke up in an apartment I have never seen before. Already freaked out I went to get out of bed but found I wasn't alone, I was hoping it was my wife and some how this would make sense, but no it was my ex; I screamed. He woke with a start.

"Cat! What the hell?!."

"What date is it!"

"What has gotten-"

"WHAT FUCKING DATE IS IT!"

"It's December nineth, twenty-twenty. Why are you being such a bitch this morning?!"

Slightly less panicked but also more annoyed with him, I jumped out of the bed and found my phone. I left the room to look for my eldest, I doubted I would find my infant in whatever nightmare I was in! "Felicity! Time to get up! Felicity?!" WHERE IS SHE!

I started feeling tears spring to my eyes as panic welled up again. I searched for my wife in my contacts. It's not here! I tried finding on my Facebook list. No! But I noticed a mutual friend that introduced us however was online. Please have answers! This can't be happening! Please don't let this be real!

Hey question ur still friends w/ Rosalina on Discord or Facebook or wutever yes?

I waited what seemed like an hour, whiping my tears, even though it was likely just three minutes for their response.

U know Rosy?

Uh ya! U introduced us we've been together...well a while now!

......uhhh r u ok? Cuz I never introduced u 2......Cat....she killed herself 2 years ago....I'm sorry but if this is some kind of sick joke it's not funny!

The floor and ceiling suddenly inverted, and everything went black

* * *

I woke up in the same strange apartment but on a couch this time, my head ached as I tried remember everything before. My heart dropped as I remembered what Juno told me, tears spraing up again in gusto, as grief washed over me remembering my wife was dead, likely on the same date as her last attempt but this time she suceeded.

She never knew how much I loved her, of the beautiful baby girl we had together, she never knew the life we built together. I would never have the chance to ever look into those beautiful green eyes of hers or even run my fingers through her hair.

"CAT!"

I snapped to attention he must have been trying to get my attention for a while.

"What."

"Ok what the fuck is up with you today? And who is Felicity?!"

"Our kid! You know sassy blonde blue eyes carbon copy of my but smaller ring any bells?" I completely forgot how much he really brought out the worst in me.

"Did you hit your head or something because you're acting completely crazy!"

"I'M NOT CRAZY!" I shouted bolting upright, "I'M STUCK IN THE MANDELA EFFECT AND NONE OF THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING! I LEFT YOU. THREE YEARS AGO! WE HAD A KID! I MOVED ON AND YOU DIDN'T I FOUND SOMEONE NEW AND YOU ALWAYS HATED THAT! HATED THAT I MOVED ON TO SOMEONE BETTER AND STOPPED TAGGING AROUND WITH YOU! THAT I BEGAN PUTTING UP BARRIERS AND REFUSED TO LET YOU TEAR THEM DOWN!" My face felt hot, I was shaking as all of this sank in. He looked taken aback but it didn't matter.

Felicity doesn't even exist here either, my whole life I had before is completely gone for good. My sweet girls.... Annabelle..... Felicity.....

"Uh huh.......you haven't started any new medication right?"

"FUCK YOU!" I shouted, throwing the nearest object at him. I left out the front door livid, not even bothering to grab a change of clothes or shoes, and did something I never thought I would do. I opened my phone and called my mom.

"Hey sweetie!"

"Mom... can you come get me?"

A pause.

"<Dead nam>-" I grimaced as I did my best to pretend she didn't dead name me, "Im, in Utah remember? I would love to see you but that's a bit of a drive, i would have to make just for a visit. Is everything ok?" I pondered whether to tell her or not, but I figured the worst she could do is point out the fact psychosis runs in the family, or just make it about her.

"You'll believe me right?"

Her tone of voice changed to her lawyer voice, "<Dead name> are you safe or do you need someone to get you?"

"No it's just you remember me talling you and the story of a man from a country that didn't exist......and how that freaked me out more than anything in the world?" I tried keeping my voice steady, as tears welled up again.

"Yes but what does that have to do with our conversation?"

I drew a breath, and my words came flooding out "I'm living in it, I'm in some kind of worLD WHERE SOMEHOW I'M BACK WITH CLYDE AND ROSY AND I WERE NEVER TOGETHER WE NEVER HAD OUR LITTLE FAMILY AND WE NEVER MET AND WE NEVER WILL MEET AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE HER GRAVE IS SO I CAN NEVER GO SEE HER AND I'M SCARED AND I WANT THIS TO BE JUST A REALLY BAD DREAM BUT IT'S NOT AND I WANT OUT OF HERE!" I finished through sobs.

Another pause "Ok I am going to call Emily to come get you and let her know you need some air, but I think maybe a trip to the psych hospital is also possibly needed-"

"MOM! I'M NOT CRAZY I DON'T BELONG IN THIS LIFE! YOU HAVE TWO OTHER GRANDCHILDREN THEIR NAMES ARE FELICITY AND ANNABELLE. FELICITY IS FOUR, SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE ME SHE'S SASSY, LOVES POKEMON, MY LITTLE PONY AND DINOSAURS! ANNABELLE IS ALMOST A YEAR OLD SHE WAS THE NICU BABY SHE HAS RED HAIR, SHE'S THE FANCY GIRL! SHE LOVES SOFT THINGS, CUDDLES AND SOFIA THE FIRST! ROSALINA WAS MY WIFE SHE WAS A FEW INCHES TALLER THAN ME AND WE HAD SUCH A WONDERFUL LIFE TOGETHER!" I'm shaking worse than ever.

"<Dead name>"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT I CAME OUT AS NONBONARY AND CHANGED MY NAME 6 YEARS AGO!"

"I'm going to call your sister now." She said before hainging up. I threw my phone on the ground with all of my strength. I wanted to scream to hit my head as hard as possible and hope to wake up finding out this wasn't real. THIS CAN'T BE REAL!

My younger sister texted my phone the notification popping up on my now shattered screen.

Mom is on the phone with me right now

R u sure ur ok?

I typed furiously, wincing as my fingers caught on glass splinters.

I'M NOT CRAZY!!!!!

* * *

I'm refusing to go any redirect my sister asked for us to go to outside of her place, I know they're having me committed. I'm trying to act casual as I try typing this all on my phone and pretending my shattered screen isn't a big deal. I need just one person please say you believe me! I'm NOT crazy like everyone thinks I am. I'm not acting out some complex delusion, these people I am now grieving are real and I love them more than life itself.

Please, anyone at all tell me you believe me, please show me I'm not the crazy person every one is saying I've become.

[bigskydreaming]

hi, im new to reading actual comics and i just read the court of owls. this was the first time id ever seen bruce actually hit dick—does that happen a lot? i was honestly shocked at it. and bruce never apologized. im trying to understand why bruce would do that—why do you think? i dont think the comic was glorifying it at all but it was still there and im a little dumbfounded as to why the writers thought that was appropriate to put in there. what are your thoughts?

Its shitty writing. That’s the ultimate answer. Every instance of Bruce’s kids ever has been an instance of shitty writing, because it never gets addressed or followed up on, and its not like there’s EVER a good reason to write a father hitting his kids unless you’re specifically centering the kids and trying to write a story of abuse and learning to recognize and accept that yes, this is actually happening to them now what do they do with that awareness and understanding....and let’s be frank, that’s not a story that DC has ever desired or intended to write with Bruce in the position of that father.

So flat out, no equivocation, every instance of Bruce hitting his kids ever, has been shitty, unacceptable writing, no matter the context or the follow-up, because the end takeaway at the heart of the matter is always, always, always, that whatever each writer’s actual intention when writing those scenes, they definitively did not ‘intend’ for it to be seen as abusive.

But that means jack shit in terms of whether what was actually shown on the page, was in fact abusive. Which has been the case, more than once, and with more than one of his kids.

So unfortunately, he has been physically violent with Dick on more than one occasion, in which there was no chance of it being spun as mind control or like, them fighting as equals because of some story position or whatever, where it was just definitively, a father hitting his son for his own emotional reasons or whatever. It happened after Jason’s death, it happened in the Court of Owls arc, it happened after Dick briefly died and was resuscitated in Forever Evil and Bruce was trying to get him to go undercover without anyone else knowing he’d survived yet. There have been a couple other times where the two of them have come to mutual blows in a fight that started as just a verbal argument, but I tend not to focus on those for a number of reasons but tbh, mostly just because its an uphill battle getting people to address even the times when its most clear that Bruce is without a doubt unjustified and dishing out abuse that is in no way reciprocated. There’s no real chance to even get around to the scenes that are complicated by additional layers.

And again to be clear, this kind of shit writing isn’t just limited to Dick. Bruce has been physically violent with Jason ever since he came back as the Red Hood in more than one altercation, with there being the flimsy justification in some of these stories that well, technically Jason is ‘the bad guy’ and Bruce is just doing what he has to in order to stop him....but with more than one instance of Bruce being overly violent with Jason in ways that he isn’t with even some of the worst criminals or villains in other stories, thus making it impossible to interpret as anything other than Bruce’s aggression being heightened by his emotional turmoil at Jason’s actions, the fact that he’s fighting his own son, Bruce’s own issues, etc, etc....

Which ultimately all just boils down to...Bruce is violent with Jason and to degrees that he isn’t with even his most notorious villains, and his own emotional state is the only explanation possible, which makes the over the top nature of Bruce’s violence in these scenes outright abuse, no matter the existence of the ‘well Jason technically was doing something that Bruce was trying to stop, it was more of a hero vs antihero thing rather than a father vs son thing’ attempt at spinning it otherwise. Notable and notorious instances of this are Bruce’s way of ‘finishing’ things in UTRH, RHATO #25, etc.

With Tim, the only real instance so far has been Batman #71, the King written bullshit I spoke of, and tbh I’m still so steamed at his attempt at justifying that, like, just read the latest issue to see the full story there because I refuse to even dignify that particular bit of abuse apologism with a paraphrasing.

And unfortunately, Bruce has definitely been written being emotionally abusive with all his kids at various points or another, with again the real culprit usually being dumbass fuckferrett writer assholes who wouldn’t know how to write a healthy parent/child interaction if your Higher Power of Choice directly appeared in their room, shining with benevolence and full-on “Do Not Test Me On This”  wattage, and then handing them a script that word for word laid out how to write out a healthy parent/child interaction for the scene they were beginning....like, they’d STILL find a way to fuck it up, that’s how bad these particular writers are at recognizing This Is A Good Action and This is A Bad Action, Bad, B-A-D, DON’T DO IT.

And the thing is, that’s not Bruce Wayne at his core characterization. I don’t believe it is anymore than even the most die-hard Bruce fan, which I most decidedly am not. I’m here for his kids, he can stay when he’s doting and on his best Dadly behavior, but he’s always on thin ice with me at this point and on his own, I’m usually just like meh, wouldn’t adopting an orphan right about now be a better use of your time?

But for sure, Bruce absolutely has been written as a good parent in canon as well, and has everything he needs character wise to constantly have that portrayal of him upheld and prioritized instead of his worse traits but like. We have definitely gotten Bad Dad Bruce in canon, and more frequently than any of us would like....which is where we usually turn to fandom, for fix-its.

And there’s lots of Good Dad Bruce Wayne in fanfics. Its even its own tag. And I have no problem with most of those fics in spirit, or the concept in general, I’m just very opinionated and knee-jerk about abuse apologism across the board, so I mean...if it were up to me, I’d much rather normalize tags like “Bruce Wayne Can Be A Good Dad” and “Bruce Wayne Can Be A Bad Dad.” I don’t generally like broad-sweeping declarations made about characters that no one person can ever ensure consistent characterization for, so no matter how understandable the intent, I object to the idea of Good Dad Bruce Wayne protection squads or tags on the basis of like...how easily that can lead straight into abuse apologism, with people making the claim “Bruce would never do what he did in canon story (x)....because Bruce is a Good Dad and good dads don’t do that.” Well no, they don’t. In theory. Cuz problem is in reality, supposedly good dads do things like that all the time, because nobody IMO is truly good or bad, they just do good or bad things and even a person with a track record of doing mostly good things can occasionally surprise people, even themselves, by doing something horrific.

 And like, when we’re talking about fictional characters I’m all for arguing that something was out of character because with fiction you CAN actually consider a writer’s intent and compare and contrast it with what’s on the page, like you CAN technically say well, the writer SAID in this interview here, that they did this because they were thinking x, y and z....and then you could feasibly point to the actual on the page depiction of that scene and say okay but look at x, y and z here...what we actually got clearly isn’t what they claim they were actually going for, so they fucked it up, it wasn’t even their own intention, so like....I argue that this was out of character and shouldn’t be given too much weight. 

You can’t do that in reality. Impact is what matters. The effect. Not the cause. The intent. No matter how uncharacteristic an up until that point  ‘good dad’ striking their kid is for them....they’re not a character. They’re a person. It CAN’T be out of character, its them that did it, their action that caused the effect of their kid being abused, with no take backs for that, no rewind that will ever undo whatever effect that has on the rest of their relationship from that day forward, or whether they even have one at all.

And people have trouble setting firm boundaries on what they will defend in fiction versus what they will defend or call out as indefensible in reality, it isn’t nearly as either or as a lot of people try and tell themselves it is, IMO....like, my stance tends to be that if you can’t even condemn a fictional character for doing a clearly abusive thing, how do you think you can definitively say you’re sure you’d be able to condemn a loved one for doing a clearly abusive thing? Y’know? Its not as easy to separate as people like to make it out to be, so I’m hugely against abuse apologism in fandom because I think a lot of times....the way we react to these things in terms of favorite fictional characters can potentially end up a training ground for how we react to these things in real life, if they end up happening at a later point.

So I’m very critical of Bruce in a lot of my posts, but its not because I don’t want him to be good for his kids or don’t think he can be written that way....and not even because I don’t get the thought process behind ‘well I don’t view his character as being capable of that when he’s written the ways that drew me to his character in the first place, and this kind of behavior isn’t what I’m here for, it isn’t escapism for me and it just depresses me so I choose not to interact with or acknowledge these specific parts of canon.’

My issues arise from the specific ways a lot of fans attempt to write around these instances of canon, in order to not have to factor it into Bruce’s character and their view and depiction of it...while often times failing to apply similarly transformative energy to the characters Bruce hurt in these instances of canon. And when that happens, its a problem, IMO....because you end up writing Good Dad Bruce Wayne....and his kids who are at times resentful or bitter or argumentative or wary...as they are shown at times to be in canon....largely BECAUSE of those moments in canon where he’s written at his worst and does fucked up things. But without acknowledging those parts of canon at all, AND without similarly rewriting the course of events in his KIDS’ lives as much as you do in Bruce’s himself.....the end result often ends up being that you have Good Dad Bruce Wayne and a bunch of stubborn brats that according to this narrative spin have no reason for being as resentful or bitter or argumentative or wary as they’re being here...since THEY’RE still being written according to their full, overall canon characterization, with no specific chunks chiseled out.

And then of course, my other major issue with abuse apologism in fandom arises from how often fans seem willing to tackle the possibility or instances of Bad Dad Bruce Wayne in order to write fix-it fics and headcanons and meta for the times he’s hurt Jason or Tim or Damian, etc.....but then selectively erase or ignore the instances he’s done similar shit to Dick...because so much of this fandom insists on this take that he’s specifically favored by Bruce and has received special treatment that justifies the others’ occasional resentment of him, and the resentment of their fans for him. So there’s this kinda thing where you end up with a lot of fandom ignoring or refusing to acknowledging some fairly pivotal canon events because Bruce Would Never Do That, He’s A Good Dad.....AND then on top of that you have a lot of the rest of fandom ignoring or refusing to acknowledge some equally pivotal canon events because Bruce Would Never Do That To Dick, He’s A Good Dad To Dick...Its Just Everyone Else He Fucks Up With.

And that kind of selective acknowledgment of abuse for reasons of personal character preference like...get under my skin, BIG TIME. *Shrugs*