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Okay, I've been nerd sniped, I'm sorry
NOTE: If you're going to reblog just to say "not reading that" or some other rude shit, DON'T. I've seen so many notifications of people just saying they couldn't be bothered to read it. I don't know if it's just that they don't see how incredibly rude and disheartening that is or if they know and don't care, but either way it really hurts to see, so please don't reblog if it's just to tell me you won't read it.
So let's go through the canonical likelihood they could each beat Goku. For the sake of keeping canon, we'll keep groups/pairs together if they would never reasonably be apart for something like this. Long post below the cut.
So first up are the ones I see that would, without a doubt, beat Goku.
Saiki K
Saiki is an omnipotent psychic/psionic with quite literally every single possible power out there. Now, this on its own isn't enough to beat Goku. Versatility doesn't mean everything, but Saiki is also powerful enough to rewrite the genetics and reality of everything within range, and his range is, so far, "Earth".
So this, on its own, would allow him to rewrite Goku's biology to make him Human. Bye bye zenkai boosts, bye bye Saiyan transformations. And Saiki, with his powers, has no trouble beating a Human of any caliber if he truly wanted to. And for those who ask "Why would he ever fight Goku?"
One simple reason: Goku would sense his immense power, and be excited for a fight. Goku is respectful enough to not force one if he's refused, but he's persistent enough to badger Saiki until he's given a chance. And Saiki, being Saiki, would simply take off one of his limiters, or both, and rewrite reality as such: "Being an alien isn't possible", thereby making it effective immediately that Goku must be lying/insane, and he is, in fact, Human. Easy win for Saiki.
And for those who would argue against this, bear in mind, the funniest way to beat Goku in this instance would be to simply make him weaker than Saiki, and Saiki is a gag character from a gag series, and it's already been shown in the world of Dragon Ball, and again in Dragon Ball Super, that Goku is incapable of defeating a gag character regardless of that characters canonical ability.
Saiki could win without gag character status, but even in the instance of Goku "beating" him, the gag would turn out to be that Saiki only pretended to get beaten, and is actually entirely unharmed because it was the easiest way to get Goku to leave him alone. Followed by a reveal that Goku will still show up now and then to ask for sparring matches, to drive the point home.
Popeye
Gag character. Would get beaten handily, crawl his way to spinach, and then be exactly as strong as he needs to be to take Goku down in however many hits is funniest.
Bugs Bunny
The gag character to end all gag characters. Someone on this hellsite once described Bugs as a "Trickster God who traps us in our own societal expectations" or some such. Like convincing Thanos to remove the Infinity Gauntlet by establishing a security checkpoint with a metal detector and shaming him into cooperating by telling him there's others waiting.
He could beat Goku in a billion ways, and each and every one of them would involve some shenanigan like Goku throwing a spirit bomb, Bugs showing up behind him holding it, saying "Ehhh, can you hold this for a second?" and as soon as Goku takes it and Bugs is off-screen, it would explode and Goku would be a pile of ashes with blinking eyes. Bugs would win because Bugs' gag is that...well, he simply can't be beaten.
The Warner Trio
Gag trio. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot would snark, sass, and sarcastic-joke their way into the scene, and they would spend the entire time poking fun at him, roasting his look, being unfazed by his attacks because "Nice laser show but we didn't bring our glowsticks." and just being too unbothered to care.
They would undoubtedly annoy Goku into admitting defeat simply to get away from them.
Road Runner
Gag character. Would force Goku to chase him, Goku would fire some blasts, chase him around, and inevitably be led right into the path of a blast he fired earlier to be disintegrated by it.
Pop Team Epic
I know nothing about this series except that it is a gag series. They are gag characters. That means Goku is inherently incapable of beating them.
ASDF Guy
Gag character. Could beat Goku with a simple "Hello, Mine-Turtle!" or "I like Trains."
Heart Diagram
Goku was literally killed by a heart virus in Future Trunks' timeline. This is one that has actually canonically already killed Goku.
Chowder
Gag character. Would likely be after S-Cells for some recipe and need to take Goku's as he's "The only Saiyan in this episode!" or some such, thereby ending the fight with a shot of Chowder wearing Goku's Gi for comedic effect while Dahl stirs raw Super Saiyan aura in a pot to hint that Chowder killed Goku for his S-Cells.
Force Ghost Trio
Gag versions of serious characters, and also ghosts. Goku is canonically unable to beat ghosts or gag characters, and these guys are both.
Those are the ones that would, without a doubt, beat Goku.
Now, let's go over the ones that could, potentially, be it likely or unlikely.
Kirby
Kirby is often considered a gag character, but he isn't. He has a very specific level of power, even if that level of power is "fuck you" levels of power. Kirby has beaten Gods, but so has Goku, even more often and with greater ease. However, Kirby has absorption and power-theft. Kirby could, potentially, absorb Goku (he isn't the brightest and Kirby has his unassuming appearance on his side) and take on his strongest form, including its powerup, and given Kirby in base form is likely more powerful than Goku in base form (Goku needed SSJ to scare Supreme Kai, Kirby beats Gods in base), it's possible Kirby would be more powerful than Goku with the same power up.
Kevin McCallister
Okay, hear me out.
Kevin is technically a gag character, BUT. He is not TRULY a gag character. He just happens to be a comedy character.
So he isn't guaranteed to win, but he could still possibly do so. How you ask?
Goku has been somewhat injured or lightly shaken by the following: planet-shattering attacks. Punches that rock the universe. Energy blasts so potent they would destroy entire galaxies.
Goku has been rendered inconsolable from the pain of the following: chest pain and a half-heartedly, boredly tossed pebble.
It is canon that when Goku and the other fighters in the series are expecting an attack or primed for battle, they are protected by their ki, like armor. It's how they're able to knock away attacks that would destroy planets, or put their "bare" hands on plasma energy that would normally burn the skin off you from a mile away let alone touching it.
This is why when Krillin threw the rock at Goku, it left him in agony and bruised him despite Goku being in Super Saiyan form at the time. This is why Chi-Chi is able to injure Goku regardless of how strong he gets.
So, how does this relate to Kevin being able to beat him? It's everything. It's critical information.
Kevin McCallister's entire M.O. is unexpected attacks. You open a door, you see a bucket fall, think it's over, turns out no, second bucket pulled by the first, second bucket is full of paint and open, you're blinded, you get your bearings, you take a step and feel cars, you smirk and step over them only to find marbles, you slip, you land on the cars which turn out to have been rigged to break easier to let loose a single thumbtack which is now firmly stuck in your back or butt. You bolt upright only to slam your head on a 2x4 that was rigged to hang down from a rope when you fell because your impact shook things enough to make it fall from a precarious perch above.
You get the idea. Every time you think it's safe to let your guard down, that's when the next wave hits. So you say "well he would stop letting his guard down" right? You fool. You know nothing of Goku. He would never put his guard UP. This is a human child, Goku can sense his pitiful power level. His strength? His speed? His ki? Weak. Pathetic. Nothing. A scouter wouldn't even register his power it's so low.
Goku never raises his guard to Chi-Chi, or to Bulma, or to Hercule. He does not raise his defense against normal, powerless, non-combative humans.
"BUT KEVIN IS COMBATIVE" No. He isn't. Goku can sense intent, power, and location. But Kevin isn't actively intending to hurt Goku. He's intending to protect himself and his home. He's not actively wanting to hurt Goku, he's just wanting Goku to leave. He doesn't have power to threaten Goku with, so Goku won't pick up on any threatening aura. And while Goku could simply instant transmission to Kevin and do what he will, we're not talking about how Goku could win, we're going over the fact Kevin could POSSIBLY win.
Enough injury and Goku is down for the count. Otherwise, Goku leaves to avoid further injury, and thereby admits defeat. Both cases, Kevin wins.
Shedinja
This one took me...quite a while. I had to do a lot of extra research for this. So, my immediate thought was Shedinja is a Ghost type, so ghost rules, right? Nah. Bug and Ghost type, and they are the physical shell left behind that has been reanimated. So they very much are physical beings, and given their ability to faint in the games and show they are capable of being physically damaged.
But There's a real case to be made for Shedinja beating Goku.
It can learn Ghost type moves, which operate on ghost-logic, and therefore are a canon weakness Goku is known to have. So things like Shadow Ball, Hex, Curse, and the like would all effect Goku regardless of Ki or form.
It also has access to Wonder Guard, which renders it "immune to all damage types that are not Super-Effective". For those unaware, we can actually attribute Typings to Goku's moves based on attributes and traits they share with Pokemon moves. His melee is, by nature, Fighting type, which Shedinja is immune to. In fact, Shedinja is immune to ALL attack types except Flying, Rock, Ghost, Dark, and Fire type moves, which are all Super Effective.
Goku's most common methods would actually fall under Fighting and Normal type attacks. "But his Ki blasts-" would be Normal type moves. You want proof?
Focus Energy is Normal Type. Quick Attack is Normal Type. Self Destruct is Normal Type. Techno Blast is Normal Type. Tera Blast is Normal Type. These are all energy based moves similar to ki blasts. Know what other energy based move is Normal Type? Hyperbeam. Which is almost identical to the Kamehameha and every other beam attack in DBZ.
Those few attacks Goku has that aren't going to be Normal Type will be Fighting Type.
Shedinja is Immune to all Normal and Fighting Type moves. Goku literally can not damage Shedinja, but Shedinja can damage Goku through Ghost Type moves. Shedinja can beat Goku. But why is it not "absolutely will" beat him? Because Goku can also transform his Ki and if he finds out Shedinja is vulnerable to fire, he can and will use that to his advantage.
That's who could potentially beat Goku. Here's who absolutely could not.
Saitama
I forgot to go over Saitama originally so here's the edit that features that analysis. Bear in mind I am saying this as someone who has seen Seasons 1 and 2 of the show AND is aware of some of the events of the manga.
A lot of reblogs over Saitama claim he is a gag character. But there is a case to be made that he is NOT. What is that case you ask? Well, for the sake of fairness, here is how I am handling gag characters: if their gag is in effect in 100% of all cases (such as looney tunes like Bugs or Road Runner) or if the gag is triggered in 100% of all cases (such as Saiki K or Chowder) then they are a True Gag Character and will insta-win.
However, if their gag has failed (such as Wario, or, yes, even Saitama) in ANY case, then it CAN fail again, and the fairest fight is one against two non-gag characters, so we can safely apply non-gag Saitama here since his gag has failed and Goku meets the conditions to cause it to fail again, which I'll explain.
So, first off, how does his gag fail? Well, his gag is that he kills everything instantly in one hit, unless he actively chooses not to. So we can safely say his gag fails if any of the following are true: he fails to instantly kill an enemy with a single hit while intending to do so, OR if he fails to kill an enemy with a serious hit intended to kill.
He meets both of these conditions. Boros survived for several seconds AFTER Saitama hit him with a Serious Punch. It was a single hit that intended to kill...But he didn't kill Boros INSTANTLY with it. Another example of his gag failing, if that doesn't satisfy, is Garou. Garou, in the manga, has survived MULTIPLE Serious Punches with intent to kill. This, on its own, is proof Saitama's Serious Punch does in fact have a limit to its output. It also proves his gag can, and does, fail against certain opponents.
So the next thing we need to look at is similarities between Garou and Boros to identify what they share that could possibly allow them to get around Saitama's gag, or to nullify it entirely. First similarity is that both are determined to have a good, satisfying fight. Boros crossed the stars seeking one, and Garou sought to become a true Monster powerful enough to force every hero, every do-gooder, to unite under one banner just to take him down. They both seek a battle to end all battles, even if Garou's intention is to end it in his favor, not simply enjoy the fight.
The second similarity is that they have incredibly unique circumstances, even by OPM standards. Garou is a man who has always felt love for the bad guy, he looks to the monsters as inspirations, as the misunderstood and the victimized by those claiming to be heroes. He's trained by an S-Class hero, and has developed into a being of unimaginable power in the pursuit of his dream. Very much a true foil to Saitama, who looked to heroes in comics as inspirations, as the righteous and unshakably moral, self-taught through and through and developed into a being of unimaginable power in the pursuit of HIS dream. Garou is, in this way, a reflection of Saitama, the Tails to Saitama's Heads, the dark to his light.
Boros on the other hand is an alien, forced to become strong by his homeworld's unforgiving conditions, developing a level of power necessary to survive and then some, and on realizing he was far too powerful for his own good, he sought purpose, meaning, and when he heard he may find a worthy opponent, he did everything he could to achieve that future, to realize his dream of facing a foe that would give him a true challenge.
So what are the similarities we can identify? Notably unique circumstances even by OPM standards, sharing strong similarities to Saitama's desires or dreams (Garou dreaming of becoming the greatest Monster vs Saitama dreaming of becoming the greatest Hero, Boros feeling lost in life and seeking a worthy foe vs Saitama feeling bored with living and wishing for the sensation of a real fight again), and the desire for a serious and ultimate battle.
Goku fits ALL of these conditions. He is an alien sent to Earth for his protection, grew up in hostile conditions (surviving on his own for most of his childhood, constant battles with Nation-level threats throughout his teen years, constant battles with world or universe-level threats throughout his adulthood), trained extensively until he was the best of the best, has the ultimate dream of a truly satisfying battle (a dream he routinely seeks out by facing down powerful foes), and being entirely bored with mundane life because there's absolutely no challenge to it, not to mention the fact he has the ultimate dream of becoming the strongest, something he shares with Saitama's pre-OPM self.
Since Goku fits ALL the conditions needed to make this battle exempt from the gag, we will NOT be considering it, as Saitama is not a True Gag Character, and Goku fitting conditions for nullifying it means we can assume actual power limits and such.
So let's look at feats of power. Saitama's Serious Side Hop technique allowed him to create AT LEAST 60 after-images (based on the manga panel) which, when compared with Sonic's 4, means Saitama was moving 15x faster than Sonic in that moment (bare minimum). An afterimage like that is created by moving at least 572mph, stopping in each position for at least 1/255th of a second (any less and the human eye can't pick up on it), so by moving from position A to B for 1/255th of a second and back to A, going 572mph between the two, you create the afterimage.
Sonic creates 4 simultaneously, meaning he needs to move to 3 positions and then back to starting position, or go from A to B, B to A, A to C, C to A, A to D, and repeat.
This means Sonic, to move into each of these positions in less than 1/255th of a second, would need to be moving ~4x faster than the speed for one afterimage. That puts him as moving at 2,228mph while creating those 4 afterimages. Given he is capable of Mach 5 speeds (he's said to be hypersonic) this feat is easy for him, as Mach 5 is 3,805mph. I assume, just as it's easier to move at top speed in a straight line than at sharp turns for a normal person, it's likely more difficult to create such consistent afterimages and so the difficulty that makes it his best attack is from the technique and reaction involved, not the speed itself.
In any case, if Saitama made at least 60 afterimages, putting him at 15x faster than Sonic's speed while creating 4, that puts Saitama's speed at 33,420mph just to account for the 60 we can count in the manga panel. This means 33,420 is the MINIMUM speed we can assume for Saitama's max ability. To be generous, given he wasn't winded after doing that and given he was able to react incredibly easily to the near-instant directional changes, I'll be kind and put his maximum speed at 10,000x this number.
That puts Saitama's speed at 334,200,000mph, or 49.8% the speed of light. We'll be kind again and say 50% the speed of light, round up that last .2%
So we have a speed value for Saitama. Now what about Goku? Well, let's look at Goku on Namek, for a moment. Base form Goku, at the start of his fight against Freeza. Goku, BEFORE his super saiyan transformation, was moving at 3.26 (we'll round down to 3) times the speed of light. How do I get this number? Buckle up, it's involved.
The Namekian ship Bulma, Krillin, and Gohan took to get to Namek made it from Earth to Jupiter in "seconds". That means less than a minute, so we'll say it took them 1 minute just to lowball it and to have a solid starting number. Jupiter, when the two planets are at their closest to each other (assuming shorter distance for slower speed, another lowball), is 365,000,000 miles from Earth. This means the Namekian ship moved 365mil miles in 1 minute.
That puts the Namekian ship at a speed of 21.9 billion miles per hour. They made it to Namek in 30 days of travel. The ship Goku took to Namek made the trip in 5 days. That means Goku's ship is 6 times faster than the Namekian ship. Don't worry, the ship speed DOES matter in this, I promise you.
So Goku's ship moves at 131,400,000,000mph. That's 131 billion, 400 million miles per hour. Or 195x the speed of light.
Why does the ship speed matter so much, you might ask?
Because King Kai could visually keep up with the ship. He was able to track Goku's progress with ease, and could see his ships movements without problems. This means King Kai's eyes and brain are capable of perceiving and processing things that move at 195x the speed of light.
Why does that matter? Because Super Saiyan is canonically a 50x multiplier to ALL base ability. Strength, speed, durability, etc.
And Goku, in Super Saiyan, was moving so fast King Kai stated he could no longer keep up. King Kai, capable of seeing and processing the input of vision on a ship moving 195x the speed of light, could not see or process the input of vision on Super Saiyan Goku.
We'll lowball it, and say Goku only needed to move 1 mph faster than 195x the speed of light for King Kai to lose track of him. So whatever value we get, we'll add 1mph to for Goku's base form speed.
So 195x the speed of light +1mph. 195/50=3.9x the speed of light. That's 2,616,900,000mph, adding in the extra mph makes it 2,616,900,001mph. So Base Form Goku moves at ~3.9x the speed of light, ON NAMEK. Super Saiyan is a 50x multiplier, putting him at ~195x the speed of light. Super Saiyan 2 is a 100x multiplier to Base, so 390x the speed of light. Super Saiyan 3 is a 400x multiplier, so 1,560x the speed of light. Super Saiyan God is a 20,000 multiplier so 78,000x the speed of light. Super Saiyan Blue is a 1 million times multiplier, so 3,900,000x the speed of light. And lastly, Mastered Ultra Instinct is a 300 billion times multipler, so 1.17 trillion times the speed of light.
Why did I bother going through all those multipliers? He wins in Base as of Namek saga lol. Anyway, continuing on to strength now that we've established Base Goku on Namek could move 3.9x faster than the Speed of Light while Saitama could only move at 0.5x the Speed of Light.
Strength. Okay. This one is harder to gauge, but we CAN gauge it. We'll go in terms of level of damage, so human level (would be on-par or less than peak human ability), town level (small towns), city level (large cities), nation level (an entire nation, less than a continent), continent level (one or more nations that span an entire continent), world-surface level (the surface of an Earth-sized planet), Planetary (capable of destroying an entire Earth-sized planet), Solar (capable of destroying a solar system), Galactic (capable of destroying a galaxy), multi-galactic (capable of destroying many galaxies), Universal (capable of destroying an entire universe), Multiversal (capable of destroying multiple universes).
We'll start with Goku this time. Goku's punches are, as of the Battle of Gods arc, strong enough to match Beerus perfectly to nullify the shockwaves of Beerus' attacks. Mind you, the mere shockwave of Beerus' attacks are enough to rip and tear the fabric of the universe itself, as stated by Elder Kai. This puts Goku's punches as being powerful enough to tear the fabric of the universe in when he first obtained Super Saiyan God. Why does this matter for Base Goku? Because Base Goku retained his SSJG power, as stated by Beerus.
So Goku in Base, post-battle of gods, is physically capable of punches that can tear apart the universe from the aftershocks alone. This is important to note because Elder Kai could physically feel the shockwaves from the World of the Kais. This makes Goku Universe-level in strength. This means Goku, post-BoG, in Super Saiyan is 50x stronger than what's needed for Universal, while Goku, as of current manga canon (assuming he didn't actually get any stronger since BoG and is simply more powerful due to new transformations) is capable of a form (Mastered Ultra Instinct) that puts him 300 billion times stronger than minimum Universe level strength.
And Saitama? Where does he fit here? Well, I thought this gap would be bigger honestly? But after researching, it seems the gap isn't all that big. Saitama has, canonically, with a Serious Punch, snuffed out an entire cylinder of stars and presumably every planet, moon, asteroid, and more, at a distance surpassing that of our solar system, and with a diameter surpassing it as well. This puts Saitama's power (if we lowball it MASSIVELY) at Solar. He could, in a single punch, destroy our entire solar system, and he wouldn't even need to be serious to do it. It's worth noting this is coupled with Garou's own Saitama-level Serious Punch, so we can assume this level of power is double Saitama's own.
So how do we determine the specifics? Well, he cleared an area large enough to cover, presumably, half the area of stars destroyed in the path of his and Garou's serious punches.
Through future revelations in the series we learn they didn't "destroy" every star in that path, but likely only several were destroyed, and possibly a galaxy, while the remainder of the void left behind was from the shockwave forcing every other star within range into a new position, creating a void in space that all stars had been moved from, save the few that were in the DIRECT path of their attack.
Another theory is that the Serious Punch^2 simply distorted the photons in the area, resulting in the appearance of a massive void, and this theory is based on the angles in the manga and comments made by other characters that paint Earth as the only thing in real danger from the power of the attack.
To be fair to Saitama, where we would lowball Goku, we'll highball Saitama, and say the Serious Punch^2 outright destroyed every star in the area. That level of power would, naturally, have shockwaves that push nearby stars out of the way AND distort photons in the area, resulting in a massive cone of destruction surrounded by a large cylinder of force.
This puts Saitama at, quite easily, multi-galactic level of strength.
But why did I say this gap isn't as big as I expected? One simple thing. Saitama has canonically punched his way into a different dimension in the manga. That means he's capable of brute-forcing his way out of the bounds of his universe. He is capable of physically destroying the fabric of the universe.
Meaning Saitama's strength is, bare minimum, Universal in close proximity. That puts him, strength-wise, on par with Goku, who through training has become stronger than Super Buu (who was so strong he could shout his way out of the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, a dimension separate from our own), meaning Goku is also Universal in close proximity.
So...while I expected Saitama to be ~Planetary, MAYBE he'd be Solar at most...Research indicates he's actually Universal, or near-Universal, meaning the fight may not be too far a gap after all.
Goku may have Saitama beat on speed (given recent manga events in OPM, I'm willing to allow that Saitama is faster than light speed, but Goku having as many forms as he does (Kaioken, which he can combine with other forms and can hit a multiplier of x100 on top of whatever power he currently has, SSJ1-3, SSJG, SSJB, MUI) means even if Saitama matches Base Goku, he's likely not going to stand up to his stronger forms).
But on strength, I'd wager they're close enough for this fight to be one hell of a battle.
What about Durability? After all, all the strength in the world won't save you if you're as easy to kill as a simple bullet to the head, right?
Goku has withstood universe-ripping punches (from Beerus, the God of Destruction, and based on comments in the manga he's one of the stronger Gods of Destruction too), dimension-tearing attacks (from Goku Black, pre-Fusion), energy blasts that even the Gods of Destruction were nervous of (from Jiren during the Tournament of Power), and he survived multiple blasts from Granolah post-wish buff, who was renowned for his sniping power pre-wish, and post-wish was as powerful as he would be if he had spent every single second of the next 147 years training non-stop with the absolute healthiest amount of rest and physical care, making him, presently, as powerful as he would be at the END of that time, with the price paid being that he only had 3 years to live as he lost 1 year of his lifespan for each power boost.
It was also clear that Granolah was the strongest in the universe...at the time of his wish. Goku and Vegeta, who were already on their way, were not as powerful as Granolah even with their transformations. They became stronger during their fight with him, and stronger still during their fight with Gas (who was more powerful than Granolah after Gas transformed and mastered his transformation).
So we can safely assume Goku is Multiversal in Durability, as he himself was able to output Universal damage with each punch, and he was able to survive hits from beings drastically stronger than himself.
What about Saitama? Well, Saitama was able to survive the force of the Serious Punch^2 and he was able to casually bust his way into another dimension. So his Serious Punch, if he wanted it to, could easily destroy the barrier between universes or dimensions.
And given he survived the force of two of them impacting each other, I would put Saitama at, bare minimum, Universe-level durability. But given he was able to survive prolonged battle against Garou, who is a Power Mimic and has shown Saitama-level strength, we can safely assume Saitama is BEYOND Universal-level durability, and so we can put him right there with Goku at Multiversal durability.
So what do we have so far?
Goku has speed equal to, in Base Form, 3.9x lightspeed, and 1.17 trillion times lightspeed in his most powerful form.
Goku has Universal level strength in Base Form, 300 billion times that in his most powerful form.
Goku has Universal durability in Base Form, Multiversal durability in his most powerful form (300 billion times his Base Form's durability).
Saitama has speed equal to, at minimum, 0.5x lightspeed, and at maximum, if we highball it, 2x lightspeed.
Saitama has Universal strength.
Saitama has Universal durability at minimum, and Multiversal durability at maximum.
At this point, I'm convinced the speed difference between Base Goku and Saitama means nothing. Saitama's durability means even with Base Goku moving at his top speed, his impacts won't be enough to beat Saitama. At top speed Base Goku may be putting out Universal damage, but he's not putting out enough to actually BEAT Saitama. Only injure.
Making me rethink my "Goku wins in Base lol" claim earlier, how dare you!
Anyway, at this point, Goku would HAVE to transform to beat Saitama. His ability to sense power and Saitama's evident inability to suppress it (as evidenced by multiple characters sensing his ungodly power even while Saitama is completely relaxed) would mean Goku would know, right away, he needs to transform for the fight.
Saitama's durability means Goku would likely need Super Saiyan 2 or 3, or, more likely, SSJG. Super Saiyan God's multiplier to Granolah-arc Goku, after all of his training with Whis and Vegeta, would most likely be enough to beat Saitama. And given SSJG is enough to "most likely" beat him, then Super Saiyan Blue (aka Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan, the form above SSJG) is surely enough, and Mastered Ultra Instinct (a form drastically more powerful than SSJB) is absolutely more than enough to beat Saitama.
And given Goku's mastery over the Kaioken technique, and he's been shown to enter Kaioken x 20 while in Super Saiyan Blue for fair amounts of time as of the Moro saga, meaning even if SSB wasn't enough, given MUI is overkill, it's possible SSB x10 or x20 would be.
The point being, Goku wins this fight due to a combination of technique, experience, and power from his transformations. Given Goku is faster than Saitama and would sense his power as Saitama doesn't know how to suppress it, nothing Saitama could do would be a surprise attack to Goku, meaning Goku would have ample opportunity to react to everything Saitama does.
And given the relatively similar strengths the two bear, Goku would recognize he needs to transform to beat Saitama's output.
And given Saitama's greater durability than Base Goku, and greater durability than even what Saitama himself can put out, Goku would see he needs to transform to have enough of his own output to beat Saitama's durability.
Conclusion: Goku would absolutely win this fight, BUT...I'll give Saitama credit where it's due.
Out of everyone on the entire list, Saitama is the fairest matchup here, and the one most likely to give Goku a truly satisfying fight, given it would be a battle on par with those Goku has enjoyed most.
Kingdom Hearts Mickey
K.H. Mickey has a clear power limit and ability set. He is not strong enough, fast enough, smart enough, or durable enough to beat Goku, but he is just enough of a threat for Goku to actually put his guard up, which is why K.H. Mickey would lose; Goku would see it as a fight, unlike with Kevin.
Crash Bandicoot
Crash isn't nearly powerful enough to be a threat to Goku, but he IS insane enough to push Goku to hostility. Goku would feel the need to put effort into getting him away and that is his downfall.
Hatsune Miku
Goku would assume she is a Red Ribbon android and fight her on assumption she's trying to kill him or bring harm to Earth. He would hit her full force expecting her to tank it and she would keel over dead instantly.
Wario
Everything he could possibly do, the Red Ribbon Army has tried and done better, and they've never beaten Goku. Neither would he.
Sans
Lost to a child with slightly above average human determination, and standard human strength and speed. He does not beat Goku.
And just because you specifically told me not to @ you, have this :)
@that-one-enby-onyx
#dbz#goku#can they beat goku#kingdom hearts#one punch man#chowder#crash bandicoot#medical diagram#road runner#bugs bunny#looney tunes#popeye#pop culture#kirby#wario#hatsune miku#saiki k#sans#undertale#shedinja#pokemon#the warner siblings#yakko wakko and dot
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As of September 2024, most of this information is out of date. Please refer to this post for information on how to join!
So back in March or so, I applied to be a part of the closed beta phase for Tumblr's new community feature rolling out, and my Cyberpunk 2077 virtual photography community was accepted!
(pls don't judge the banner, i had to throw together something really quick for the submission and admins can't update community settings yet 😭)
This is a public community, which means when the feature goes live to everyone, anyone can view it and join without a special invitation. For right now, though, I can only invite 25 people* to be members. I've already invited a few folks who I know love VP, and I'd like to open up 10-12 invitations to the broader community!
*I can request more spaces once I hit the limit, and I'll make an update when those become available.
Shortly after I posted this, our member count was increased to 500, so we have plenty of room for anyone interested!
EXPECTATIONS FOR MEMBERS
You do NOT need to be following me to join.
You do NOT need to be a ~*virtual photography expert*~ to join. Newb or veteran, PC or console, mods or vanilla--Doesn't matter! If you enjoy the artform, you're welcome here!
You DO need to be at least somewhat active on Tumblr. I'd like to invite folks who: - Post at least one new CP77 virtual photography image a week - Have daily reblogs of other CP77 posts (VP, gifs, art, meta, etc) Note: This will not be a permanent requirement as the community feature grows, but since space is limited, I want to ensure the first invitations go to the folks who will make the most of them.
You DO need to be willing to deal with beta phase hiccups and growing pains. This is a new beta feature on Tumblr--We have encountered, and will continue to encounter, Hellsite™️ nonsense, both in terms of technical issues and figuring out how to best use the space. (For example: a part of the reason I've put off sending out a bunch of invitations at once was because, until recently, it was getting people shadow-banned, lmao.)
You DO need to join with a main account--Sideblogs can't join yet. As I understand it, this is something Tumblr wants to change in the future, but right now, invitations can't be sent to sideblogs. You'll have to be comfortable posting and interacting under your main account to join.
HOW TO APPLY
Just send me an ask* telling me you're interested! I'll reply privately when the invitation has been sent. If all the slots are full, I can put folks on a waiting list for when I can get the member count increased.
*Mutuals can DM me, but I think my current settings prevent anyone whomst I don't follow from messaging me, so asks are the best way to go.
#tumblr communities#tumblr community#cyberpunk 2077#virtual photography#cp2077 screenshots#cp2077edit#g: cyberpunk 2077#t: cp77 vp comm
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hey, steph! how are you, like, genuinely? not the small talk. i wanna listen
Hey Lovely 💜🖤
I want to apologize for putting this off for so long... which should be a clue as to how I am actually doing.
Honestly? Not good, but I'm trying my best. It's been... a time. Will put under a cut for those who don't want to read about the tagged items.
TL;DR – my real life is a bit chaotic, and I hide a lot from y'all because I REALLY try not to be negative here since my blog is where I come to be happy AND because I am a very private person, but I try my best to just keep going day to day as the chaos settles down slowly.
I've got some good things coming though, so I hope a week's rest next week when I'm off (and will probably take a break from here too) will reset my brain.
Work has been insane, and is most of the cause of my mental distress for the past few months. From Easter until Canada Day Weekend at my job is lovingly referred to as "Silly Season" simply because of how on-the-fly, balls-to-the-wall our workload is until summertime downtime officially begins for us. Without disclosing too much, it's basically non-stop, long hours for me until one of the 3 break weeks we get during the this long stretch happens where, incidentally because of the nature of my job and the team I work on, it actually gets BUSIER for us.
It actually ended earlier than we expected this year (yesterday) and we'll be "quieter" until the end of September now. See an opportunity, I actually took next week off between the two long weekends because my mental health has taken a severe hit and I'm having trouble just... enjoying things? I'm haven't gamed or drew in a few weeks, and blogging and writing feels like a chore. I literally just come home, file this blog, reply to one or two asks, and then go to bed, and do it all over again the next day. Day in and day out, for 3 months. On weekends I have to force myself out of my apartment because I KNOW I will sink lower if I don't leave.
On top of that, my brain has convinced me that literally everyone hates me: friends, coworkers, family, you guys, my damned plants. I just feel very alone these days and... I'll be real here, I've almost abandoned this blog a few times in the past few months. I feel like I make fic lists that no one reblogs or likes and tell me they're all shit. I post my art and I barely break 20 notes. I write something and I get maybe 2 likes. I can't really answer any thoughtful asks because my mental state's been in the shitter for months. I desperately want to reply to the few sexuality asks I have and I physically can't. Being on my computer – after working ON a computer for my day job for 12 hour days everyday – feels like too much, so I try to limit my time on the blog now too.
I just try to keep carrying on, encouraged by the once-in-a-blue-moon testimonial ask I get thanking me for still being here. I thank YOU guys for reminding me that people still like coming here.
Stressed about money and food and rent just like everyone else, and just getting frustrated at other things.
And finally, my uncle (my dad's brother and my godfather) hasn't been doing well health-wise, and he's being moved to assisted living next week. His health has been declining since Easter, so it's been a bit of worrying time for relatives.
Having my therapist helps a lot. She talks me through a lot of my complicated feelings, my sense of self and ways to cope with my anxiety and stress. I'm talking to her again next week, so no worries, gang. As I said, I just keep on keeping on.
Some positivity though:
I booked next week off to try to just... recenter myself. To forget about everything and TRY to get back to doing the things I love. I will probably take a break from this blog as well during that time to limit my social-media time. It's not ideal but I need a break from my computer, I think.
I go to the gym a lot more these days, which has helped with the seething annoyance I constantly have at work. Usually feel better after it.
And because of the gym and getting out more, I've been slowly feeling better physically, better than I have since before 2019. The break from work is for the mental health, LOL.
I'm getting my hair recoloured next week. Can't afford it, really, but I just REALLY need to feel better about myself again, and I always feel so different when I colour my hair. I was doing so good for awhile. I want that again.
Anyway, I'm sorry to bombard y'all with my complicated mess of a brain. I really do appreciate you asking, so THANK YOU. I rarely get asked in real life if I am okay because I keep very private due to past people betraying my trust. And I don't like seeing people unhappy, so I feel if I tell people about my problems, then I feel I am a burden, so I just... continue existing.
Thank you for letting me be a burden just this once.
#steph replies#about me#my life#chatting with lovelies#triggers under the read more:#depression cw#stress cw#self loathing cw#declining health cw#negativity cw
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Who knew missing a work meeting could lead to this?!
Y/N misses one of Port Mafia Executive Chuuya Nakahara's team meetings so she must explain herself to him, he invites her back to his place under the guise she needs to help him with paperwork when smut ensues.
This is my own work not a reblog! Please do not repost or translate without permission as I've worked very hard on this!
TW - Minors DNI!
daddy kink, pet names, bondage play. Might be a lil OOC I've never written for Chuuya before or written kink smut so be kind 🙏
Word Limit: just over 4K 🥵
Y/N had been avoiding her supervisor officer all week, she had deliberately missed his most recent bi weekly round up meeting and she knew he'd be pissed at her for it. She'd rounded a corner in the main Port Mafia building when she heard a stern voice speak out "Why didn't you come to the meeting we had?" she sighs and looks down at her shoes suddenly finding them very interesting "Can we go to your office sir? I'd feel much more comfortable talking in private?" She hadn't even turned to look at him yet before she heard him mumble a non committal "Whatever" listening as his shoes hit against the marble floors so she turned and followed him down the small corridor. When they finally reached his office he ushered her in pushing gently at her lower back as she took in his office, not for the first time and probably not the last time, it's walls were painted in a sleek grey and silver theme very minimalist if she did think so herself but exactly what one may expect from a Port Mafia executive she thought as she sat in the black office chair across from his own. As he sat down she could see the annoyance that burned across his face at having to have another meeting about this topic which was cutting into his personal time, his fingers thumped against his desk as he looked across to her "So? What do you have to say for yourself this time L/N?" She gulped at his tone before responding sheepishly "I wasn't actually sure I'd need to come honestly, I've felt kind of sidelined on recent missions and wasn't sure I was strong enough to be classed as your subordinate. I know my ability can be useful but I don't know..." She trails off as she looks to the side focusing on a rather small speck of dust on his computer screen until she hears his huff wearily "You're not being sidelined, you're just getting more experience." he says sternly before taking a sip of what looked like some variation of a red wine. "And besides, you're doing great work so far you just lack confidence." The woman can't help but pout slightly at her mentors words as true as they may be that doesn't stop the string that hits her chest and settled in the cracks of her heart "it doesn't feel that way honestly sir" she can't look him in the eyes when she's still so unsure of her place on his team, it's a highly sought after post she knows this but maybe that's what makes it hurt more knowing she's not good enough for it yet.
He watches her crestfallen face for a moment before he replies "It does feel good that you're here, trust me." his tone softens slightly but there is still an edge to it "I'm sorry I disappointed you sir...it won't happen again! Did I miss much? maybe you could give me a recap now if you're able" she pleads to her mentor to not give up on her just yet "We were discussing our next week..." He pauses for a moment before continuing "...and then someone interrupted us by saying they wanted to talk about their feelings about certain member of the team..." he takes another sip of his wine before he begins again "she wants to quit now" shock racks across her face "That's not good, we can't afford to lose any more members especially if they keep going to the ADA, I'll...talk with whoever it is maybe I can change their mind!" She offers up her suggestion hastily "No, no," he shakes his head quickly "Don't bother talking to her, let her go, we don't need anyone who isn't loyal anymore." he stares at her intently "Just tell her that she needs to stay or else she'll regret it later." She gulps as she nods understanding the severity of wanting the leave the mafia "Of course sir. I'll pass the message on" she stutters out. "Good girl." She can't help but flush pink at the term, he's never called her anything like that before.
He smiles faintly as he leans back in his chair "Now then, what else should we discuss?" his eyes wander around the room for a second before returning to look directly into her e/c eyes "Do you know why Higuchi wants to leave?" he asks calmly yet firmly "N-no sir why?" "Because she didn't agree with your plans for the future." He says bluntly "Because she thought you weren't taking care of yourself enough." He pauses briefly before adding "But most importantly, she couldn't stand being near you anymore." He sighs deeply "That's all there was to it" "What?! I haven't done anything to offend her... Have I?" she starts to sift through memories to see what she had done to hurt her friend "Of course you did! You were always so irritating!" He snaps angrily "You never cared about getting yourself nearly killed which puts everyone else in danger too!"
He stands up suddenly and begins pacing around the room "It doesn't matter how many times you apologize or beg forgiveness, nothing will ever change the fact that you're an awful subordinate" she can't help the hurt that shoots into her chest and flashes across her face "I have always tried my best!...sir..." She stops talking about her voice can crack with pain. "Oh please..." His voice drops slightly as he stops pacing and turns towards her "...don't lie to yourself." He takes another step closer until their faces are almost touching "The truth is plain to see now. All these years spent trying to make everyone happy only made you miserable in the end." Her brow furrows at his statement "Maybe...but the team functions better now than it ever has! Someone had to sacrifice for the better of the organisation" the chair she'd been sitting on now lies on the floor as she jumps up to confront him "Sacrifice?" He laughs mockingly "Is that really what this is about?! Are you saying that by sacrificing yourself for others, you somehow achieved greatness?!" He shakes his head sadly "No one lives life without making sacrifices sometimes, especially those who wish to succeed in their goals." She looks down then before mumbling out her reply "I've sacrificed as much as you have, I can't imagine being a executive has been without it's struggles" he smiles softly "Yes, it has been hard work, but worth every second of it." He gives her a small nod before turning back to face her "And now here we are. The perfect balance between efficiency and effectiveness. It seems like everything has come together perfectly." He chuckles lightly.
she glances to the side of his desk seeing all the unfinished mission statements that need completed when she suddenly has an idea "Why you don't head home early sir and I'll finish all that work for you" his expression softens "I'm sure it'd be a big help for you" he chuckles softly as he shakes his head "You don't need to do that, it's my work I'll do it". Y/N shakes her head firmly not wanting to budge "well there must be some way I can make up for missing the meeting?" He thinks for a moment "How about you come to my place tonight?" He smirks at the girl in front of him as she turns a dark red thinking of the implications of his words "Sir? Do you need help with the papers? Or..." She trails off not really sure what she's asking him he nods slowly "Yeah, I wouldn't mind having someone around while I work on these papers. Plus, I think you'd enjoy spending time with me right?" He winks playfully at her.
That stops her in her tracks does he know about her little crush why else would he offer for her to come to his come when they could work on his reports here. Finally she gulps down the saliva that pools under her tongue and nods slowly not trusting her words, to be shown such attention from an executive as highly thought of as Chuuya was exciting to say the least. He grins widely "Good girl~" He takes out his phone and types in a few commands before handing it to her to input her number, "Text me whenever you're free so we can hangout"she nods quickly and inputs her number "I thought we were heading back tonight?" She tilts her head confused "Oh we are I just need to finish finalising something real quick then we will go.
Chuuya's fingers clack at the keyboard quickly for a few moments before he speaks again " We should probably go soon since it's getting late already" He stands up and stretches his arms above his head to stretch out his aching back "Let's get going then shall we?" Y/N grabs the few belongings she brought with her today and looks to her mentor "Ready when you are" He nods to her and they leave the building together.
They walk through the dark streets together until they reach Chuuya's apartment building where he unlocks the door and leads her inside, she walks inside of his penthouse tentatively, looking around at his sleek walls and plush looking furniture "You have a lovely apartment sir" she breaths out taking every inch in "Thank you very much for today, coming to see me about the missed meeting" He sits down on one of the couches and pats his lap invitingly "Come sit with me". He looks at her expectantly waiting for her response "You look stunning today by the way. You're wearing something a little more...revealing today...that for me?" He smirks to himself she flushes as she looks down at her blouse it had been unseasonally hot recently and lighter slightly more revealing work outfits had been essential "I-it's been so hot recently I've needed to adapt my clothes I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable sir" she frowns as she joins him on the couch "No worries, I don't mind seeing you wear something like that" His gaze lingers over her body "It suits you well though" He reaches forward and gently touches her arm "You know what else would suit you perfectly? If you took off your jacket" she shrugs the material off quickly almost as if it lingered on her skin any longer it would burn her "Would you be willing to try something new for me" He looks into her eyes expectantly.
She nods almost dazed as she looks down at his hand which is tracing small lines into her skin "What would you like to try sir?" He leans closer and whispers in her ear "How about I tie down your pretty hands to my bed~?" He chuckles softly before pulling away from her and standing up "Let's take this to my bedroom shall we?" He takes her hand and leads her towards his room "Strip for me please baby" She flushes a deep red at his words and follows to his bedroom starting to remove articles of clothes as they move. "Good girl~" He opens the door and steps inside leaving her alone in the room "Come here" He gestures towards the bed where he lays out several ropes and various other items such as handcuffs and blindfolds "Now lie down on the bed and spread those beautiful thighs of yours wide open for me darling~" She gulps down her nerves and nods to him, removing the last of her clothing leaving her bare to her bosses piercing eyes, she lays down on his monochrome silk sheets and spreads her legs for him to invite him into her personal space.
"Mmhmm... You're looking very delicious right now aren't you sweetheart?" He smirks and moves between her legs, running his hands along her inner thigh before reaching up and grabbing hold of her wrists pinning them above her head "There we go~ Now let's see how much pleasure we can draw out of your pretty little body" He murmurs admiring her form, he suddenly looks to her face "You heard of the traffic light system sweetheart?" she smiles lightly at his wanting to make sure she's safe and comfortable during their encounter and nods her head "Yes green means go, yellow means I'm unsure but want to continue and red is stop immediately" "Good girl~ and your safe word?" he asks while trailing his fingers to her inner thighs teasinger her with his gentle touches she thinks for a moment before responding "Peaches" She nods and giggles softly. "Are you ready to start lovely?" He asks as he spreads her legs a little further she nods as the pulls him down to her lips giving him a firm kiss.
Chuuya starts his teasing by turning his head the the side peppering her thighs with small kisses, giving small nibbles and licks every few minutes "I've always thought you were incredibly beautiful you know and so dedicated to the PM... To me" a whine bubbles up to her lips at his teasing as she watches him between her thighs "I've always been so fond of you sir I'd never want to disappoint you" Chuuya chuckles softly and leans forward pressing another soft kiss against her inner thigh "Stop calling me sir my love or I'll have to punish you" He smirks at her before pulling back slightly looking into her eyes again "do you trust me?" he asks "Yes Chuuya I trust you... trust you with my life" She smiles at him he smiles back running his thumb along her cheek making her shiver "Good now tell me what are your thoughts on our relationship? Do you think we could be together? Before we start I'd like to know where we stand" He asks gently stroking her hair as he stares deeply into her eyes hoping that she'll accept his offer "I'm yours Chuuya, I've been yours since I was told I'd be working under you" She smiles at him as she lifts her hand to card her fingers through his hair and down his neck resting at his neck.
His heart skips a beat as he feels her touch "That's what I wanted to hear baby~" he whispers placing one last gentle kiss on her forehead before leaning in closer to whisper in her ear "Close your eyes my love" He smirks as he steps down from the bed to grab the supplies he needs she nods her head as she relaxes into his sheets "I trust you with my body" She softly closes her eyes, he uses some velvet covered cuffs to attach her arms to his headboard before moving down and attaching some cuffs to her ankles which spread her out for his eyes to explore. Next he starts to remove his clothes starting with his dress shirt then moving to his pants then his boxers to expose his already hard length to her watching eyes she lets out a needy whine as she pleads to him "I need you so badly Chuuya~"
He grins teasingly watching her squirm around beneath him "You're such an adorable thing aren't you? You look so cute tied up like this." He says playfully as he leans forward kissing along her collarbone trailing soft kisses down her chest until finally reaching her nipples which he takes between his teeth she gasps as she feels his teeth gently encase her hardened nipples sighing as he licks over the bud sucking softly before moving to the other side and paying just as much attention to her other breast "F-feels so nice Chuu~" He continues licking and nibbling all over her breasts enjoying every second of it before moving lower still stopping to tease her belly button with his tongue before continuing further south towards her core where he pauses briefly to lick and kiss her inner thighs before finally settling between her legs "So warm... So wet and I've barely started" He smirks up at her as she gently tugs at the cuffs wanting to grab his head and push him down to where she needs him most "Stop t-teasing Chuu I need you so badly~" His eyes sparkle mischievously as he sees her struggling against the restraints knowing exactly what she wants "Oh my dear little one if only you'd told me that sooner~" He teases before beginning to explore her folds with gentle caresses and light licks moaning softly at the taste of her juices, she gasps harshly and tips her head back "F-fuck Chuuya your tongue feels so good~" He smiles at the sounds he's pulling from her as he drives his head down to explore her pretty pussy further, he licks a stripe up the full length of her pussy collecting her wetness on his tongue before sliding his tongue around her sensitive clit.
She lets out a drawn out moan as he pleasures her, bucking her hips up to meet his tongue "Why didn't we do this sooner" She huffs out a laugh with her head still tipped backwards as he chuckles softly he moves away from her clit leaving behind trails of saliva which drips onto her soft skin "Well now let's see how well you can take it shall we?" He says teasingly while looking up at her seductively, he wraps his hand around his length giving it a few teasing strokes while she nods quickly as she watches his movements licking her lips at the sight of his pretty cock "Please give it to me Chuuya I need you inside me now" His smile widens into a wide grin as he slides himself between her thighs slowly pushing himself deep inside her tight walls causing her to gasp in pleasure "Oh yes baby, just relax for me okay? You're doing great." He whispers huskily as he begins to move within her slowly building up speed.
She pulls at her restraints again harder this time making her hiss slightly in pain and she bucks her hips up to try and match his steady thrusts "Fuck chuu~ you feel even better than I could have ever imagined, you're making me feel so full" He grins almost wickedly as he continues to pound into her hard and fast, each stroke sending waves of pleasure through both their bodies "You like that don't you? You love having my big fat dick buried deep inside you don't you?" He asks mockingly as he leans forward to kiss her lips passionately, licking his tongue into her mouth, she moans loudly into his mouth as she matches his eagerness in their kiss "Yesss~ I need your fat cock chuuya! Need you to make me cum on your cock~ I-I'm close" She gasps against his lips. He groans softly as he keeps pounding away at her relentlessly his rough thrusts shaking his headboard as it bangs loudly into his walls "Cum for me now babygirl!" He reaches his hand down between their sweaty bodies as he roughly rubs her abused clit feeling her tighten around him as he slams into her one final time burying himself fully inside her as she spasms around him, legs shaking as she cums causing him to groans harshly as he cums hard.
He chuckles darkly as he slides out of her leaving only the head of his member still inside her causing her to whimper slightly "Well done little one...but there's no rest for us yet." He says sternly as he grabs onto her thighs pulling them apart spreading her wide open exposing her pink soaked pussy to his eyes, her body shakes as she's coming down from her high "Fuck Chuuya my pussy can't take much more" She whines out as she watches him grinning at her as he starts slowly pushing inside her stretching her tight muscles around his girth "Mmmh..such a good girl... You're so fucking wet aren't you?" Y/N nods her head sharply "F-fuck yes! I'm your good girl! You've made me so fucking wet baby" She whines as he starts to fuck her harder, pushing her slowly into overstimulation as her tired walls tighten around his fat cock.
His grip on her thighs tighten as he begins thrusting into her faster and harder making sure not to let up even for a second letting out a low moan of pleasure as he feels her tightening around him "Ohhh yeah... That's right... Keep cumming for me darling... Cum for daddy.... Cum for daddy" He reaches one of his hands down to play with her little clit. She throws her head back harshly as she grips the edge of the cuffs, tearing falling down her cheeks as she cums causing her legs to shake against Chuuya, whining and sobbing as her body shakes with painful pleasure.
As soon as she cums he pulls out quickly slamming it deep again causing her to cry out in pain but also pleasure as he slams his thick member into her ah~ such a good girl.... My sweet girl... Ohh god..... Your pussy is so warm and tight...so so soft... And so delicious..." She sobs through moans as her throat becomes croaky from over use, her body heating up from his praise. He smirks at her before grabbing her hips firmly and pulling them towards him burying himself deeper inside her than ever before "Ohhhh yesssss... Take all of daddy's big dick... Take every inch of this monster... Mmmmphh..." His body shakes as his thrusts become shallow as he spurts out a few lines of cum before he pulls out watching the cum trickle out of her abused hole, her body shakes as she watches her partner cum again before she shakes her arms as the cuffs clink against his bed "A little help here?" She giggles at him as he huffs out a chuckle lifting his tired body to unclip her restraints, making sure he kisses all the marks that have been left behind "Sorry love, think I got a bit carried away at the end there" He pushes his sweat caked hair back as he joins her back in bed, pulling her close to his body.
She smiles brightly as she gently wraps her arms around him, leaving light kisses to his chest "That was... Intense" She laughs as she cuddles into his side, he chuckles softly as he nuzzles her neck lightly "Yeah, you were pretty amazing too baby right?" He winks playfully at her he gives her a slight peck on the tip of her nose "We should really clean you up my love" He sighs wistfully, she pouts at her lover but rolls her eyes slightly and nods "One last kiss first?" She smiles as she reaches her arms out to him, he nods happily as he leans down for another passionate kiss, their tongues dancing together until they break apart slowly and he makes his way over to his en suite where he grabs a few washclothes, wiping her down as gently as he can to avoid more abuse to her already fucked out hole.
Once he's done he smiles and throws the cloth away and looks at her with a smirk on his face "That was fun wasn't it?" Chuuya grins widely at her "Wanna go again?" He asks teasingly. Y/N looks up at him in mock alarm "Are you kidding me Chuuya I don't think I'll be able to walk for a week as it is! No way I'll be able to go to work tomorrow!" She laughs as she reaches her hands to wrap around his neck, his grin widens even further as he pulls her closer to him and starts kissing her deeply once more, this time going slower than before so he can savor every moment of their closeness "You're such an adorable little thing aren't you?" He whispers against her lips "Fuck I'm glad you wanted me as much as I wanted you, I'll make something up to to tell Mori tomorrow" He smirks as he looks into her eyes "You'd better it's your fault" She giggles as she playfully hits his chest softly before cuddling back into his side "I love you Chuuya Nakahara~" He chuckles lightly as he wraps his arm around her waist and holds her close to him "I love you too Y/N L/N" He kisses her forehead affectionately before pulling away slightly to look deep into her eyes watching as she yawns Chuuya looks at her and smiles "Stay here tonight baby and we will talk about us more tomorrow hmm?" The woman nods thankfully as she gives him one last kiss before settling into his bed with a smile, he watches her drift off to sleep and leans forward to give her another soft kiss on the cheek before turning off the lights and wrapping his arms around her to join her in sleep. Tomorrow can wait for a while he thinks as he basks in the love they've shared together.
#bsd x reader#bungo stray dogs x reader#bsd smut#bungou stray dogs#bsd#chuuya x reader#bsd imagines#chuuya nakahara#chuuya x you#chuuya smut#bungo stray dogs smut#Chuuya Nakahara smut#chuuya nakahara smut#bungou stray dogs x reader#Chuuya x reader smut#chuuya x reader smut#nakahara chuuya x reader#bsd chuuya#bungou stray dogs chuuya
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Comment Bingo: Dean Winchester Edition
Very simple rules: comment on a fic with the given tag in a particular square; repeat until you've completed 5 squares in a line
Very simple goals: encourage readers to comment on fics; encourage fandom writers to KEEP WRITING (about Dean)
🎉 to celebrate 500+ followers, here's a card for one of my all-time forever favorite characters; I haven't been super active in spn fandom for awhile, but every now and then a Dean craving hits; special thanks to @thomthinks for providing feedback and suggestions 💛
STEPS:
Download Bingo Card HERE (png) or HERE (jpg) or HERE (pdf)
Complete the tasks on the card, marking off each as you go, until you've completed 5 in a line (vertical, horizontal, or diagonal; center ♥️ is a free space)
POST your winning card (or list your filled squares) and tag @feedthefandomfest! Glory in your victory.
REWARD:
✨ victory badges ✨
New badge for this card, but here are examples from previous cards:
Tag me when you earn a bingo (or double, triple, quadruple... FULL CARD bingo) and I'll reblog a shiny badge with your name on it to commemorate the win.
FAQ:
Can I comment on tumblr or only on AO3?
Either one is great! This card especially is more designed with AO3 in mind, but some can be adjusted to suit tumblr as well, so I say go for it. Tumblr fics deserve love, too.
Can one comment count toward multiple squares if the fic fits more than one category?
Since the goal is for as many fics to receive comments as possible, try to comment on a different fic for each square.
Is there a time limit?
Nope! Take your time or set your own deadline, whatever works for you.
Do I have to record progress on the actual card?
Nope! If it’s easier to keep track in a different way, that’s fine. This is all very honor system, so if you say you earned a Bingo, we’ll call it a win 🎉
Some people have been tracking not just completed tasks, but the fics they read along the way, so that when they post a bingo, they can also promote the fics/authors in a little rec list. Not required, but definitely cool to see!
Can I adjust the task in a particular square to suit my comfort level?
Of course! If you deliver something in the spirit of the task, then it’s all good. Use your best judgement in constructing a comment that will make the author smile, and you can consider it a job well done.
In general, so long as each square has produced at least one comment, you’re golden and I salute you 🫡
Happy commenting!!
#comment bingo#character/ship/fandom bingo#dean winchester#destiel#wincest#this is designed to work with pretty much any ship#or no ships#supernatural#spn#also directing spn fans to the old fic edition card#since the fandom well is so deep and so ancient#feed the fandom fest
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i love hearing about you and your wife it gives me so much warmth and hope - if your comfortable, do you have a first meeting or first date story? totally ok if you'd not share! i hope you and your wife have a wonderful anniversary, 11 years is quite a feat!
oh ho ho you've unlocked my special interest. i love talking about our first meeting/date.
(a read more because i did not make this short)
we actually "met" on tumblr! we both signed up for this penpal blog where you got matched with someone who had similar interests as you. i verified with my wife this morning and we both said we liked cats-i'm assuming that's what they matched us over. i dropped a joke in her inbox that went unanswered for days despite her reblogging and posting and was like welp, that was a good shot, champ, but you messed it up. no friends for you.
now, this was in the days when tumblr's inbox system (which limited you to 10 asks a day) ate every other message. so it's not that she didn't think it was funny, she just didn't get it. i found this out when i dropped the same joke a second time in her inbox and lo and behold! she thought it was funny. (i have recycled this joke many times over the year and always get an eye roll. like, babe. it's a classic. it's the thundapants joke!)
she did not think it was funny when i told her i was a transplant living in the the armpit of massachusetts because-lo and behold a second time-that's where she grew up and was also still living! it was an auspicious start for me, truly. we figured out that we had a bunch of things in common-i did my student teaching at her high school when she was a senior there, i was a substitute teacher for her little sister's 8th grade class, we missed each other in college by a couple of classes, my roommate and best friend worked at the PT office my wife frequented. we kind of went around each other for a while before we finally landed in the same place.
it took me a month and a half of my best jokes to convince her to go on a date with me because, as she said, she was super nervous. i was like, you have not truly met me yet because i am the stupidest person on earth and not worthy of nervousness. but she finally said yes! and we went out to a local chinese restaurant for crab rangoons. it shared a parking lot with the diner i worked at so i ate there all the time and the people there were so surprised i was (a) sitting down to eat and (b) eating with somebody!
(thus began our tradition of ending up on someone else's first date. the couple behind us was clearly meeting for the first time. he was telling her his credit score and that she could order whatever she wanted off the menu, no worries because he could pay for it. we cringed each time he opened his mouth but it was kind of perfect in a way because it gave us something to whisper about. we have since ended up on way too many first dates to count. it is kind of just a thing that happens to us, no matter where we go.)
our date was really, really good. we had talked A LOT via tumblr inbox (messages didn't exist yet) and the conversation just kind of picked up in person. so much so that 4 hours went by and they were putting up the chairs. and then we talked for a while in the parking lot too until my roommate hit me with the "are you alive or did she murder you and dump your body somewhere?" text. i left her on read and kept talking until the restaurant locked up and all the people went home. i just didn't want to leave. i felt like i knew my wife already, you know? like things just clicked. she was funny and intelligent and she listened when i went on the first of many, many tangents. her patience for me is unmatched and started out that way.
we spent the rest of the summer we lived there spending as much time as we could together. i distinctly remember doing short order cook shifts at the diner i worked at and then rolling up to her house to pick her up and drive around. we had to drive with the windows down because my clothes just effused grease from the fryers. we watched so many movies at my apartment-which is hilarious because about a year into our relationship she informed she was NOT a movie person, she just wanted to spend time together. we have watched maybe ten movies together since that first year.
then i got a full-time job on the other side of the mountain, we moved, bought a house, got married, and the rest is history. but we get crab rangoons on every anniversary and do a lame-o instagram post about each other and i continue to be the stupidest person in the room, just very stupid over her.
#the story of us is not all that interesting but i do like telling it#and my wife is sick of hearing it so i guess this anonymous tumblr user gets to read it now#for those wondering the joke was: what kind of underwear do clouds wear? THUNDERPANTS!#i told her this joke later on in our lives and she laughed again so i know it was a winner#literally that was the shot i took with my wife and it worked!#goes to show: lame jokes can still get the girl#never give up on your cornball dreams kid#me @ me all the time#me @ my wife
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Pain keeps setting in deeper
Summary: It's the middle of a fight he shouldn't be breaking down, nobody gave him permission, he shouldn't even be here
Warnings: Violence, minor blood, break downs, bittersweetness (good friend on Ao3 said so at least), open ending
Authors Note: I WANTED TO POST THIS YESTERDAY BUT I HAD ALREADY HIT POST LIMIT, so yeah, anyways have a kross fanfic, I'm not sure anyone will actually see it, but if ya do, a reblog always does wonders for the writing motivation, hope you enjoy todays ruination of the boy!
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Cross was ready to scream, Cross was ready to sob, Cross was ready to submit.
But he refused.
(It was really Chara but it was him because who else could it be?)
Hands pressed firmly to his skull he crumbled to the ground, everything raged on around him, he wasn't worth the world stopping and he knew that. His eyes were stuck on the white ground, his vision was starting to blur, his soul was starting to ache. This was too much, he's mortal, he shouldn't be here, this isn't a fight for mortals to bear witness too, but here he is. Him, and his teammates, all of which are painfully mortal, it's like Nightmare forgot he's the only one who'll survive until he's forgotten.
He's bleeding out on the floor of the anti-void and no one cares. He can see his marrow pool around him but he knows he won't die because Chara isn't ready to go yet. He knows that no matter how fast he loses blood or how long the air is pressed from his chest he will survive even though he's mortal. He shouldn't be here, he should be at home, but ha, home is long gone, he migrates now, but he has nowhere to return to.
Dream collides with him, knocking a crack into his humerus and Cross can't even muster a sound. All he can do is let the tears fall faster as he hands drop into the thin layer of marrow surrounding him (it's seeping into his clothing, an ugly purple). Then he's falling, he doesn't even catch the transition as he falls into a searing heat- arms wrap around him and then they're in snow. Arms are still latching onto him tightly and a warmth soaks into his spine- his breathing tries to even but only stalls.
"Criss-Cross," Killer spoke gently, his voice a dulcet guide in the chaos of Crosses mind.
Cross froze up, of course it was Killer, of course it had to be Killer who gets him out of there, "yeah?" His voice is a quaking sob he tried to quiet for the sake of his dignity.
"You don't have to come on missions all the time, you know that right?" Killer slowly loosened his grasp on Crosses midsection, the shake in his monochromatic counterpart resumed even strong than before.
"Then," a painful, stifled sob, "then how come you guys are always going on missions?" Cross shifted himself off of Killer and into the snow.
"Oh baby," pain laces Killers voice, of course Cross didn't know, of course he didn't know he could take a break, "whenever Nightmare sends us out on duo missions instead that's because someone needs to stay home," Killer props himself upright, "wanna talk about anything Criss-Cross?"
Cross doesn't know what to say, all he does is try to sit up and keep his posture straight, Cross nods, then shakes his head, he nods again, "I don't know- I know! It's not an answer! I know," once again light sobs overlay his voice as he cries out into the darkness of Snowdins forest.
Killer placed a hand on Crosses back and gently rubbed circles, "it's plenty of an answer," Cross smiles a bit.
"It's not- not for a mortal at least," a hint of laughter is on his voice as he speaks, he brings up a hand to shove aside the tears sliding down his skull- purple sinks into his white clothing like a stain.
Killer doesn't speak.
"None of us should be out there fighting that fight, that's a fight for gods, but here we are, mortals with the burdens of immortals- we should be dead Killer, but we aren't," Cross doesn't even know what he's saying, he just knows it's lifting some sort of weight off of him and right now that's all that really matters, "I don't want to fight this fight, I just want to die already, like I was supposed to if it weren't for Chara- I want to go home," Cross is gripping his humeri as he speaks in a cracked and raw voice, tears he just wiped away replenish themselves twice as fast and his form shakes with sobs.
"You know what they say," Killer almost smirks as he speaks, "home is where the heart is," Cross looks up to find Killer with outstretched arms, "please?"
Cross collapses into the touch with ease, he relishes in the warmth Killer emanates, he revels in how much comfort he can draw from such a simple action. He's glad to have something to touch as he sobs, something to anchor himself as he let's go, something to keep him real even if only for a moment. He doesn't want to let go of this moment, of this touch, of this intimacy- the way he's being held and it's not by the collar of his shirt or his ankles.
All he can is want it to never end even though he knows it has too soon enough.
#undertale#undertale au#xtale sans#killer sans#kross ship#killer x cross#cross x killer#writing#fanfic#fanfiction#fan fic#fan fiction#tw panic attack#tw crying#he is so fucked up#oneshot
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I try not to reblog or post “x amount of time left until essential service is cut off” because if you see the same news over and over (like 24 hours left of fuel for hospital) where the time limit has been extended due to scrounging up of fuel from elsewhere only to hit the t minus 24 hours again mark it will erode your trust in the source and/or desensitise you to the urgency
That being said, just like I said when gazas telecom went down the first time; this is scary
This is fucking scary on a new magnitude because Israel has become more and more blatant in its war crimes as the genocide has progressed these last 33 days with now the active ground threat posed against major hospitals which are designated, illegally, as targets
Telecom going down due to lack of fuel, something Israel probably never will budge on allowing through rafah, is watching the on the ground information reporting being starved until the Israeli military can do what it wants in almost total darkness because it’s war machine is what controls the fuel needed for telecom
Short blackouts have had the same effect but when communication network have gone back online the reporting catches up from the survivors
Israel has bombed solar panels and won’t let fuel through rafah
They don’t want coms to come back
And this isn’t mentioning how vital telecom is for communication between humanitarian workers and organisations
#palestine#free gaza#al jazeera#free palestine#original source I believe is wafa which is basically state news from Palestine so I’ll trust them to report on their government#reminder: no fuel has entered Gaza officially since October 7th#reminder: fuel is or has run out in hospitals#reminder: Gaza used to receive 500 trucks of aid per day before October 7th#reminder: try not to look away
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Fanbinding a chainshipping fic
Because I got back into Saw again and had the need to reread it in paper.
It's Until He, Too, Fell Asleep by Misschatelle on Ao3, not sure if they have a tumblr account. 😅
I had decided not to post about it when the process was done because it really doesn't look as good as the very professional stuff you see here from people who really made it their hobby, but this
made me change my mind, I just had to shove this fic into everyone's dash. If you don't care about the process, just keep scrolling, it's gonna get long, bye 👋
Formatting was pain.
Mainly because I was trying to make it thematic but putting bathroom tiles, chains or Adam's reaching hand would be too horror-y and wouldn't really fit the tone of the book anyway. So I went with Painting with chocolate for the titles and EB Garamond for text. And you have no idea how hard it was to get the painted heart off the toilet lid through some image editos to make it look remotely functional. But I just had to have it there, y'know, follow your heart and shit. (for the people who haven't seen Saw 1, I'm sorry, there's a lot happening).
Printing was also pain. I didn't know how to make adobe print the whole document as booklets so I had to separately print 20-page booklets one by one. It was supposed to be 16 but adobe decided it was going to go the way he wanted.
Stitching was also pain.
I was going according to this video and at first was really confused about the stitch but eventually found some order in it. The thread tangling up all the time was worse.
Then the gluing came...
(I took the fabric-y things off of a book I bought second-hand very cheaply and butchered for the cover)
Added a piece of fabric on top, not sure if it's supposed to be done but felt safer to ensure it wasn't going to fall apart.
And then just put it together with some paper.
And now I hit the 10-image limit so I'll have to reblog...
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Broken, But Still Good
Been saving this one for the FTH 2024 posting. The dates are out! Fandom Trumps Hate 2024 creator sign-ups are February 5th-19th. Even if you don't sign-up, pop over to https://fandomtrumpshate.tumblr.com/ and reblog the auction calendar. Summary: Tim has a little too much to drink, and reveals more than he intended to about his mental state to Raylan Givens of all people. If only he could get Raylan to drop it... TW: PTSD, Drinking, for a complete list of content warning, check this out on AO3! I am AnneMcSommers over there, and the fic has the same title!
Tim had gotten drunk before, hell, he had drunk enough to kill a lesser man, and could still pass a field sobriety test because he had one hell of an alcohol tolerance. Well, he THOUGHT that he had one hell of a tolerance, but that was before he started drinking from a mason jar out in Harlan.
Tim had had homebrews before, who in a warzone hadn’t tried whatever shit they tried to pass off as alcohol, but could double as paint stripper?
Tim had not however considered that moonshine in a county that had been making it since prohibition would be a special kind of drunk, and he wouldn’t have admitted to anyone that he had gone far past his limit.
Raylan had all but poured him into the car, and Tim held it together all the way to his apartment even as the alcohol continued to hit him. He kinda wished that he was one of those people who puked, because at least then he could have thrown up before leaving the bar, so he wasn’t more drunk getting out of the car, than getting into it.
Tim had made it a whole two steps towards the door, before he completely lost his shit. A car backfiring always put Tim on edge, but on that night, it had taken him right back, and he was unarmed. Before he had known what was happening, Raylan had a hold of him.
“It’s alright, Tim, you’re alright, you are in Kentucky, and it was just a car Tim. I promise, it was just a car,” Raylan soothed, and Tim was too drunk to keep himself properly upright, but he was not too drunk to realise he had fucked up somehow.
“It’s okay,” Tim had slurred. “I’m good, I’m good,” he had tried to reassure Raylan, but the more he spoke, the more worried Raylan had seemed to look as he walked Tim to his door. “Really Raylan, I’m okay. I can still shoot straight, really. I could shoot straight if I had to.”
Raylan had just frowned, picking up Tim’s housekeys when he dropped them. “Really, I could,” Tim had promised as Raylan unlocked his door.
It felt like Tim had blinked, and they were in his room, Raylan putting a glass of water on the nightstand, helping Tim with his buttons.
“I could shoot straight,” Tim had insisted, and Raylan sighed.
“You told me Tim, it’s okay now, go to sleep.”
Tim had known, KNOWN, that Raylan didn’t believe him, and said it again louder. “I can still shoot straight Raylan.” Tim had stumbled forward, and Raylan caught him, even as he clung to the man’s shirt to keep himself upright. “I can still shoot straight, Raylan, you gotta believe me, I can handle it, I can still shoot.”
Raylan had looked really sad as he answered, “I believe you Tim, now why don’t we get you to bed, and we can talk more about shooting in the morning, okay.”
Tim didn’t remember going to bed, but he did remember how he had woken up the next morning with his head pounding in a way it hadn’t since high school, the sun far brighter than it should have been if he had woken up like usual.
When Time had seen it was 11 am, he’d have leapt out of bed if he hadn’t seen the note. Tim had squinted at in in the bright light coming through his windows but managed to make out that he had been called out of work sick, he was to drink the water, take the aspirin, and eat something.
Tim’s stomach had twisted, and if he had been able to throw up, he would, because FUCK. He had taken the aspirin, drank the water, and headed into the bathroom to drown himself in the shower, where he stayed until the water went cool.
Remembering the night before was brutal, and he had thought he would get a reprieve before he had to deal with the shitstorm he created, but opening the bathroom door to the smell of eggs cooking let him know he wasn’t so fucking lucky.
Raylan had made eggs, toast, bacon, and Tim had been glad it went down without coming back up. He had finally managed to get Raylan out of his apartment after the man made about half a dozen subtle and not so subtle references to the night before, and if he weren’t so mortified it may have been touching.
Tim had spent the better part of a week doing everything he could to avoid Raylan, who seemed bound and determined to discuss things. Art had not, to Tims knowledge at least, seem to have clocked what was going on exactly, but that if Raylan didn’t drop it eventually, then it was going to become a thing, and that was the last thing Tim needed, for Art to be worrying about him MORE than usual.
To Tim’s eternal relief, Raylan had eventually dropped it. Everything was fine for a few weeks, back to normal, or at least close to it, and then they went to pick up a suspect at the no tell motel. The guy was huge, and shoved Tim faster than Tim was able to pull his weapon. Tim took header down an entire flight of stairs, and even he had to admit he got off easy given that he had missed most the stairs and just kind of dropped from a floor up.
A mild concussion, and a broken arm, it wasn’t much but it was his shooting hand and Tim was going to be out of commission for two months while it healed. Tim was antsy before the doctor even finished. “How long before I can go back to work?”
“Full duty, you are looking at two and a half, three months depending on the physio,” the doctor reeled off like it was nothing.
“Three months, for a broken arm?” He had broken it like three or four times as a kid, and it had not been three months.
“Two months for the cast, and then time after that to regain the muscle strength and dexterity. Ten days off as a minimum to start for the concussion, then we can re-evaluate and see if desk duty would be an option. If you press too hard though, it could be longer.”
Tim was trying not to freak out. “When can I get out of here?”
“In an hour or so, if you have someone to take you home.”
Tim froze, and he had never been more relieved to hear Raylan Givens voice. “His ride is already here.”
Raylan helping him up top his place was a little too close to what happened a few weeks back, and as much as Tim wanted the man to leave, there really was no way to kick someone else out of your place who was trying to help you.
Tim was saved by Raylan’s phone ringing.
It was Art, Raylan was needed in Miami for an old case ASAP, something about a retrial, but Tim was fuzzier than he wanted to admit. Raylan had gone through the whole thing, but all Tim got from it was that Raylan was going gone for a week at least.
Raylan stilled at the door, and Tim knew that he was going to dread whatever came out of the man’s mouth next.
“Fuck.”
Tim didn’t want to ask but felt obliged. “What?”
“I just got this new house plant,” Raylan explained, turning towards Tim, and Tim knew what came next.
“If you’re gonna be back in a week, shouldn’t it be fine,” Tim asked. He didn’t know much about gardening, but he thought it was a weekly thing.
“Usually, yes, but it’s this stupid tropical thing, it doesn’t get watered, it gets, misted or whatever, every day. I didn’t want the damn thing, and now I am gonna kill it. Shit, is there any chance you could water it?” Raylan asked, and Tim wanted to say no.
He felt like shit, his head was swimming, and getting over to Raylan’s to mist a fucking plant was going to be nightmare. Tim made the mistake of looking at Raylan, who was pulling full puppy dog eyes. Tim opened his mouth to say no, and said, “Ya, sure. Just leave the instructions by the plant.”
Raylan gave him a wide grin, and Tim felt a little better than he had five minutes ago, as he took possession of Raylan’s spare key.
“Thank you, Tim, really, I appreciate it,” Raylan told him. Tim regretted saying yes before the door was even closed.
Some days it took two hours for Tim to get out a bed, but he did, because he wasn’t going to be the reason Raylan’s plant dies. So, he got up and made his way across town, on the bus at first, so that he could mist Raylan’s plant.
There was a spray bottle, and “spray 6-8 times” until moist” written on a napkin with marker, in Raylan’s handwriting. The plant was ugly as fuck, and Tim had not idea why the man wanted it to live, but he had told Raylan he would water the plant, and he was going to water the fucking plant, even if something that hideous shouldn’t be allowed to thrive.
Two days before Raylan got back into town, Tim slipped getting out of the shower, hit his arm, and ended up back in the hospital needing surgery, or so he was told when he woke up.
Raylan was the one who did the telling, because apparently Tim had been out of it for a few days. They were talking a few minutes before the reality of what happens hits Tim.
“Fuck, Raylan, I killed your plant,” Tim said, interrupting the man mid-sentence.
“It’s okay Tim, really,” Raylan replied, and it was too quick for it to be genuine.
Tim doesn’t think Raylan really got it. “No, it’s fucked up. I fucked up. Fuck, I can’t work, for who knows how long now. I can’t get out of a shower without hurting myself, and now, NOW, I can’t even keep a plant alive. What fucking good am I?”
“Tim, you’re good. I promise you, even if you can’t shoot, you’re worth something, you got me?” Raylan’s voice was rough with something, but Tim couldn’t get past his own mistakes.
“I still killed your plant,” he argued.
“It’s plastic,” Raylan replied, and Tim blamed the drugs for not quite getting it.
“What?”
“The plant, it’s plastic,” Raylan explained, and Tim wondered what they had him on.
“I don’t understand, why the hell would you get me to water a plastic plant?”
Raylan was kind of red, and as it spread to the man’s ears, Tim realised that Raylan was blushing. He had never seen Raylan blush before.
“You were so upset, that night. You know, about being able to do something, and I wanted to make sure when I left you, that you had something you could do, and watering my plant was the first thing I could think of, but I didn’t have one. So, I, uh, picked up one at that dollar general, but it was plastic.”
“You really think I’m that pathetic?” Tim asked, and he regretted it immediately. Fucking drugs.
“No, I don’t. I think you’re great Tim, not just cause you can shoot, or do the job, because you’re funny, and sometimes you’re the best part about being in Kentucky. I just wanted to do something to make you feel better.”
“Sounds like you’re sweet on me,” Tim joked, uncomfortable with the praise.
Raylan blushed again, but the sarcastic comment didn’t come.
“Raylan, are you sweet on me?” Tim asked, and he was half joking, half serious.
Raylan kept his eyes on his boots. “It doesn’t have to be a thing. Despite popular opinion, I can control myself. I’m sorry for lying to you, you know, about the plant. I’ll just, uh, make myself scarce.”
Tim considered pinching himself to make sure he was awake, but despite the drugs, he was still feeling enough to know that this was real, and this was happening. Raylan was leaving, fuck. Tim reached out to stop the man from leaving and pulled at his sore muscles. He stopped, letting out a pained gasp.
Raylan was back the bedside in an instant, leaning over Tim. “You alright, you need me to get a doctor?”
Tim reached up and cupped the back of Raylan’s head, pulling him down into a kiss. Raylan pulled away, looking unsure. “Tim?”
“Never occurred to me you’d feel the same way,” he admitted, feeling his own face go warm.
“Darlin,” Raylan started, “I think you underestimate just how pretty you are.”
Tim ignored the pain, pulling himself against Raylan with his good arm and drawing him into a searing kiss.
Tim’s arm was still broken, but all of a sudden, the whole thing didn’t seem so bad after all.
#fanfiction#justified#givenson#raylan givens#tim gutterson#tw ptsd#fandomtrumpshate#whump#happy ending#caretaking
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Hi everyone! Thank you so much for your support and encouragement! Since my requests are have been closed (apart from ones done through Ko-fi), I decided to celebrate hitting 1.5k+ followers by offering the following things.
But first, I need to list some rules!
Rules:
1. You must be following me in order to participate, this is a followers celebration after all! 🥰
2. For any requests, they need to be done either off-anon or if you send it anonymous you need to still message me directly to let me know you’re the one who sent that request. Either way, I can leave your name off the reply that I post (just let me know if that’s your preference)!
This is because this celebration is for my lovely followers so I want to ensure they are getting the chance to send in their requests for the below activities!
3. You can do as many of the options as you wish, but please limit it to 2 requests per option!
Example: each follower can do option a, b, and c, but each follower can only submit two different requests for option b.
4. Please read the details for each option to ensure you send in the details that’ll help me make the best response for your request!
While not required, it would be greatly appreciated if you could reblog this post! 💜
Okay, now, the fun part!
Celebration Activity Options:
I’m opening this celebration to include ALL characters I’ve done before, including currently archived ones!
💌 Blurb: send in a character and an event/plot/topic/etc. to get a 100-200 word answer
📱SMAUs: The 2 request limit for this applies to 2 of the same character (in other words, you can send in more than 2 SMAU requests so long as it’s a max of 2 per character) this can include fictional and nonfictional characters. Please include any side characters, events/details, or other information surrounding the SMAU request. If you want it to be with a specific type of reader, please be specific. You’ll get a SMAU fic with at least two posts from the reader and 2 from the character chosen.
💭Headcanon: send in a character and a scenario or type of reader to get a bullet point list of thoughts on it.
✨Moodboard: Send in a character and a season, event, aesthetic, subject, etc. for a moodboard for it.
✍️Writers: For my fellow writers, send me a concept you’re working on or send a link to a fic you would like a moodboard to use for an already existing fic/part/etc. (for a character I write) and I’ll generate a moodboard for it!
Last but not least….,
🎆 Requests: Please note these will be likely shorter than my longer requests (I say that but you all know me 😂). These cannot contain a lot of specifics or anything like that. Rather, it’s a simple concept and a character. Limit is 1 request per follower for this option given the time it’ll take to do these.
👯♀️ Oh and, mutuals, I couldn’t think of something specific to offer you, so you can literally send in whatever you’d like from me and I will do it! (Ex: handwritten letter, piece of advice, a custom short fic with your name listed instead of y/n, a song that reminds me of you, etc.) You deserve to let your heart go wild and choose whatever you’d like! 💜
Once again, thank you all so much! I cannot wait to see what you come up with for me to work on!
Disclaimers:
As always, I reserve the right to refuse any requests I’m uncomfortable with. But I will let you send in a replacement request if this applies.
This ends March 8, 2024 (11:59PM PST).
After this event ends, requests will be closed again (apart from ko-fi) until I state otherwise.
As always, I own all works/responses and do not approve of anyone taking credit or sharing elsewhere without asking me (reblogging is different)
The responses from this event will typically take priority over ongoing work I have in terms of which will be posted first. But it also depends on the order in which I finish each one.
I love you so so much! 💜
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I AM CURSING YOU FUCKBAGS TO 1000 YEARS OF OWOFIED NONSENSE. I HAVE TO SUFFER, NOW YOU HAVE TO SUFFER WITH ME.
Update:
All this effort and it doesn't even work. I'm not mad, just disappointed. Current theory is that I didn't include an important part of it in the while loop. The bot scans new posts, and I'm not gonna re-post this for the second time. It's only been actually tested two or three times including this try, and I'm keeping this as a sort of devlog. Update 2:
I restarted the OAuth apps that I made earlier today (an OAuth callback server to catch the keys, and another OAuth thing to generate the Authorization verifier). I worked almost all day to get these two to work together. The API ended up sending this error, and I don't know what it means, but it doesn't throw any errors client-side. Here's the error it throws. {'meta': {'status': 429, 'msg': 'Limit Exceeded'}, 'response': [], 'errors': [{'title': 'Limit Exceeded', 'code': 0, 'detail': 'Minor hiccup. Try again.'}]} Like, okay, great. Now I gotta actually look at the documentation and find out what this magic gibberish means, because this could relate to all those times I tried to authenticate, OR I hit the daily limit on posts seen by my bot, which I highly doubt. Update 2.5 after some research, I've learned absolutely nothing. That error code is a giant ball of nothing that basically says I exceeded a rate limit, but doesn't give any explanation as to which rate I exceeded. Thanks, Tumblr. At least Reddit threw client side errors that you didn't have to go to a broken API console to see. Fuck all of you, and I'll see you tomorrow.
Side note: I am surviving off one breakfast pizza from Casey's, one Pipeline Punch, one grape flavored 3D, 4mg Estradiol, 50mg Spironolactone, and I currently have 100mg Progesterone dissolving in my stomach, which at this point, might actually kill me. It's only 9:36 at the time of writing this, but it feels like I've been working on this for days. This is to say that I may have missed something super obvious, and if that's the case, well, I'll leave tomorrows problems to tomorrow's me.
Update 3
Just woke up and re-ran all the assorted programs just to get a fresh start. I'm still getting that error code, but more importantly, my access token and secret changed? I'm not expert when it comes to stuff like this, but I though tokens and secrets are constant and specific to apps. I can't actually test this thing until the API lets me through. Update 3.5
Found the error code. It wasn't way too hard, but it means my bot probably did something way too much yesterday and I have no idea what. It works on the server's clock and goes by callendar day. This means that if a bot hits the error code at 11:59 PM, it can hit it again at 12:00 AM. For an error 429 to happen, any one of the following has to trigger it.
300 API calls per minute, per IP address.
18,000 API calls per hour, per IP address.
432,000 API calls per day, per IP address.
1,000 API calls per hour, per consumer key.
5,000 API calls per day, per consumer key.
250 new published posts (including reblogs) per day, per user.
250 images uploaded per day, per user.
200 follows per day, per user.
1,000 likes per day, per user.
10 new blogs per day, per user.
20 videos uploaded per day, per user.
60 minutes of total video uploaded per day, per user.
So I can't test this until the server's calendar deems it a new day Update 4
It still doesn't work, but I am one step closer. Because of Tumblr's broken-ass console, I've had to find an alternate way to get an OAuth key. It turns out I was using a temporary access key, which is why it changed when I re-ran everything. I had to do this by using two other scripts. One of them is Tumblr's interactive console on Github , and the other one was a Yaml parser because boy do they like to encrypt. This has been my morning so far. Day two and 5 scripts later, just to finally have something that I should've had at the start.
Update 4.5
I FINALLY GOT AN API RESPONSE!!! LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Update 4.5.5
I have implemented a feature that makes the thing wait for a second then search for any comments with a timestamp older than the last time it waited and has the right keyword in the 196 tag. I have obviously accidentally wasted all my API tries today, but testing begins again tomorrow. You will fear my wrath soon enough. Update 5
Decided to check up on the bot, and ran straight into this wall of text. It looks like blog info? Some of those links take me to profile headers. This isn't a static thing either, it updates every 20 seconds like clockwork. Because I made it update every 20 seconds like clockwork. I think this means it's testing time. Wish me luck. Breaking News. Didn't work, but we're a lil bit closer. Again.
#I figured out how to get access to the API#and now you have to deal with my bullshit#This would have taken no time at all with Reddit's API#196#r/196#rule
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To Kill The Gods Chapter One: A House Is Not A Home Content Warnings: Discussions of bigotry, extreme physical and mechanical augmentation, mild non-sexual nudity, drug / nicotine use
Hi. Welcome to Chapter One. Do me a favor okay? Mind the content warnings, I'll try to do them comprehensively on every chapter. Mind the tags, if you want to find story posts easily, search 'Vassal Dash Six Story,' every post will have this tag. If you like my work please reblog I guess, I'd like people to read it. <3 Thank you. ------ As was always the case whenever its 'time to be awake' alarm went off, it woke up with the sound, and let it play for a few moments, until it felt like moving was a little bit easier - stiffness was common, those days. The only work it could find was construction and retrofitting, and since it had the hardware and… physiology… for extreme magic HAZMAT…
Sore, it gestured reflexively as it used its headware to silence the alarm. The creature's bed was simple, little more than a cot with a thin pad on it, as was its preference. As soon as its feet hit cement, it walked the two feet to the 'window,' where it drew the curtains to look outside. Despite attempting to emulate a window, including active head position tracking and syncing with its headware, the damned digiglass still flickered - one of the integration systems was under maintenance, and it had impacted digiglass city-wide.
Allegedly, it was going to be fixed two months prior, but the wheels of the Vegas-4 Urban Reclamation Zone's management council turned… distinctly slowly, because of resource limitations and sheer expense.
With a sigh, it picked up the hot cup of tea that the dispenser on its small, personal table prepared, and took a sip, disquieted by the absence of gear, uncomfortable with the usage of lips. Typically it limited consumption to automatic routines that left its meat numb, but… the tea was hot, and it wasn't looking for more burns.
Outside, from the perspective of EXT-CAM-841 located approximately three floors above, the city was alive with motion. Transport craft based on modified Hellish VTOL engines flitted about, carrying cargo or people, less than a third of them driven by hand. The skywalks were seas of motion, people walking along quarter mile wide pavilions, shopping at stalls…
"Weather," it rasped, cringing at its unchosen voice.
"Weather currently is… unlisted. NAU Meteorological Services are currently on standby due to a thaumic discordance near to the primary detection array," its phone said, sitting on the table by the dispenser.
"That's normal," it murmured, unnerved but… not surprised, explicitly. Vegas-4 had been going to shit for a while. It seemed like the longer the earthbound walled cities ran on, the more and more they broke down. Everyone was focused on Mars, on Luna, on the Moon Egg… down there, in the dirt of their homeworld, things were more and more just… falling apart.
It often pondered… why, but never came to a satisfying conclusion.
The Wall, in the deep distance, towered above it all - the first of its kind, a miracle brought about by the first truly successful mass ritualistic working in human history. On its top, it was green, and covered in the Forest Ring. Sometimes, when it was lucky, it managed to snag logging detail work, and got to go up there - its hardware and modifications were suited to hostile environs, even frigid perpetual winters and thin atmospheres - hookups for atmo tanks were a simple matter, and the posion sap of the mutated trees capable of surviving up there?
It was, by mercy, immune.
It stood there, as the sun clawed its way above the wall, and began to draw lines across the city as its beams cut between the trees and towers. Darkness was a familiar creature to humanity - they had endured it so long it had started to feel like home. Though they were rare, there were still people who eschewed light entirely - the Faceless were sympathetic. To feel light on the skin…
Was all too easy to see how it could be uncomfortable.
Sighing, it finished the tea and looked up at the blue of the sky. For nearly one hundred and fifty years after the Reconnection… all one would see looking up was the Black Accusation, coating the planet in dark, oily clouds that were thickest around The Vast One…
Earth was a scarred place. It took over five hundred years just for the flagging population of the planet to figure out how to unfuck the sky! The Egg of The Vast, the Moon Egg, hung in the sky, dead and inert, permanently aborted before it could birth a twin to their primary problem at that time - Humanity's first victory against the Vast Ones.
The unit couldn't look anywhere without seeing the echoes of the past, of the wars and death, the destruction and adaptation…
When did a rock become little more than a tomb for a tortured past?
These things had weighed heavy on its mind, in the days prior to that, on that morning. The past was a heavy thing, its chains and bones still binding people to ancient beliefs and rituals that made no sense in the modern day - for instance, it couldn't get off the literally god damned rock no matter what it tried. People were still reliant on their biases, and those changed with as much regularity as a clock could tick.
The boom of accepting willing, hard upgraded Faceless onto terraforming effort teams, colony teams, even fucking planet-side land reclaimation teams… had passed, almost at the same time as it made the choice to adopt a visage of choice, and not one of simple happenstance. Regardless of the pervasive nonsense suddenly on the minds of every recruiter, every organizer and every ridiculous head-up-ass logistics director…
It'd pass, and until then, there would always be work for folks like it, even if people didn't want to admit it, wanted to pretend they weren't useful, wanted to act like they were freaks or weirdos or whatever new bullshit they'd come up with. It'd pass, and people would be willing to let it be useful again. Until then, holding pattern. Do its best, as much work as it could that was useful and difficult and-
"Pardon me for the interruption," the building's management AI said, in her measured, clipped tone. Overall, the Unit found her to be quite pleasant, but not really so pleasant intruding on its privacy.
"My settings have not been altered," it said, quietly. "Do you see me?"
"No, Unit, I do not. Protocol does not allow visual settings overrides in any private space. Audio is only available so long as my task is incomplete," it said, speaking to the unit like a fucking person for once. In the presence of others, she was required to be in front-facing mode, which forced a faux sort of clean, sterile cheeriness. "I experience no pleasure from intruding, believe me."
"I do," it replied. "What is it, Nancy?"
"A priority two-fehu communication request has been directed through the Redline System, with your designation on it," the AI replied. The unit looked up, sharply. Two-fehu was high classification - and the Redline System? That was supposed to be for contacting government folks, or contractors, scientists… not random Faceless. "I have not been provided any meaningful information, nor any details."
"Request them, please… I'm sorry," it said, tiredly. Nancy had enough work on her plate managing the building, even with the upgrades to her hardware systems. She was, granted, an L-AI, her neural systems inherently limited - not on purpose, and not for lack of trying. Even the most advanced Hellish AI were L-AI, making the designation almost pointless. No one was even sure if a C-AI, complete versus limited AI, was even possible.
No one was sure Death would allow it.
"All details stated to be classified above L-AI access allowances," she replied, after several moments. "The call is from… hm. The name is concealed by means I am unfamiliar with, but bearing a grant signature."
"Grant signature?"
"Obfuscation of the name is approved by the governing council."
That, it had to admit, was a new one. A name obfuscation? Even Faceless had to adhere to required identification protocols, and in fact, had to do so… much more often than others - another petty inconvenience imposed by old bigotries rearing their heads in new ways.
"…will they be able to alter my visual feed settings?"
"Would it matter, given that all integrated security systems were mapped and those maps were provided to you?" Nancy asked. It chuckled, having installed its own aperture caps over the lenses. No one saw its space unless it opened those.
"No, it would not. Put them through," it replied, bemusedly. "And please don't listen in."
"I could not. I do not have the clearance."
The unit frowned, and then regretted it, and decided that it would gear itself up as soon as possible. The Unchosen Form was particularly grating, that day.
As it walked, nude and unconcerned, across its microscopic single room apartment to the shower, the communication connection was completed, and an augmented reality projection displayed itself on the unit's vision, via optic nerve intercept image injection systems in its headware.
"Hello. I will ask right off the start the following questions," the projection of a vaguely humanoid shadow said, in a deeply neutral voice. Very spy-bullshitty, which made it nervous, so it turned the hot water on and waited. "How do I refer to you? I am, at best, unfamiliar with… Faceless, as it were."
"This one's designation is Vassal Dash Six," it replied, evenly. "Pronouns are explicitly it/its."
"Vassal Dash Six, fascinating… any other names?" the shadow asked. It washed its furlike mane, a modification chosen for the adaptability provided - alongside the thick pads of fur on the outsides of its arms, covering its back. Dusty, grayish-black, it was suitable, and functional.
"This one's previous work group nicknamed it 'Longwalk,' due to its habit of volunteering for the longest haul trips, which usually required significant distance transport of heavy loads," it replied, uncertainly. "Nicknames are often situational and temporary."
"Why volunteer for extra work? Logging is dangerous enough, even with exo-hardware, especially up on the wall in the Forest Circle. Endurance would also be difficult, and require-"
"Because I have spent the majority of all paychecks on significant modifications to my nervous, respiratory and integumentary systems, making me particularly qualified for hazardous and extreme environments, and because I am strong," it replied, stepping out of the shower and onto its drying plate. Like very few, it had chosen to specialize… and specializing meant that the fur lining its arms and back weren't going to dry themselves, nor would a towel do a particularly good job if the unit wanted it to be quick.
"Cold environments? Low oxygen environments?" the shadow asked, as Vassal pulled on a pair of underwear and made sure they were sitting correctly.
"This one is highly specialized for variable temperature extremes, low oxygen environments, toxic and caustic threats to a limited degree, and heavy load lifting," it replied. This was, if it was a job interview, one of the weirdest fucking job interviews it had ever endured. "I am also equipped with a full headware package, class three, with environmental scan capabilities, bio-tier olfactory chemical detection-"
"Class seven skeletal reinforcement, full exoframe porting… and an excellent service record. Very good," the shadow replied.
"Forgive me, but if you knew all of this already, why are you asking me? Am I correct in assuming you are associated with the government? Because I has no interest in classified work projects, government service, or being treated like I'm not a person," it said, curtly, tugging on its bra and making sure its boobs were situated. "I also require that any longterm work project meet specific needs."
"Explain those needs."
"Consistent access to a pharma printer with necessary components for generation of organic medical supplements or otherwise a specific stock of implant-mangement compatible vials of organic medical supplements for the duration of the assignment plus ten percent for safety," it replied, promptly. "Estrogen, implant managed, primarily. Additionally, progesterone and two hundred milligrams of-"
"Alchemically active sivagyn," the shadow interrupted. "You do not have an internal hormone manipulation and endocrine management system? Only administration management?"
"…those are expensive, alright? Genomic remapping is out of the question, I have no access to any of the artifacts that can potentially enable manual endocrine reorganization, I am… poor. I have what I need, but what I want is a different matter," it replied, no longer terse, but quiet. It spoke patiently, accepting of its limitations. "And what I want is not determined by the current system to be necessary for my continued function and survival."
"Ahhh, expense. The government does worry on that. Very well, let me see…" the shadow trailed off, and its arms moved, hands manipulating what the unit was certain was a number of holomonitors, or otherwise, an entire holofield comms grid. Some folks got so good at holo they made it their own, customizing it, until they were dancers in a sea of light only they could understand.
It wondered what the shadow did for work, as it tugged on a loose tanktop and marveled at the finally completed repigmenting of its skin. Coal black was much more comfortable than what had come before, and with the right modifications…
"Ahhh, marvelous. What is your stance on non-government medical personnel?" the shadow asked.
"Preferred," it replied, tying its mess of hair back and approaching its face-rack. Back in the day, people used belts and things to attach their faces, but the modern Faceless had things a bit easier. All it had to do was approach, and press the flesh and skull to the inside of its face, and the hardware set to work. Bolts tightened into its reinforced skull. Connections were secured, and its spinal hardware numbed its head meat, shut off its vestigial 'eyes,' and limited its sensory input from stock olfactory systems, as well as nervous throughput from its oral structures.
The rear shell sealed, covering the majority of its cranium, save a rectangular slot at the back that its tied mane pushed through. When it removed the tie, this fur fluffed out, filled out the slot fully - but remained, bound.
External cameras activated and calibrated, fed directly through its optic nerve interrupt right into its brain. That had been an adjustment, it was happy to admit, given that its field of view could suddenly expand far beyond biological limits - and the data, even translated, was significantly higher resolution and tracked much more smoothly than biological eyes.
Translator and limiter systems made it possible, but it was still… an adjustment.
Even so, with its face on, it once again felt… at peace.
"Very good. Then you have an appointment in three hours and seven minutes with C-DR. Evan Crenst, details available publicly. He will retrofit your systems, bring all hardware up to current bleeding edge, and provide you with an internal endocrine management system, negating the need for medfab… and I'll throw three hundred thousand coin on top, get yourself something nice installed," the shadow murmured, sounding rather… pleased with itself, for a heavily processed, androgynous sort of voice. "Is this agreeable?"
it snorted.
"Agreeable, sure. Affordable? Hardly. Like you're implying you're going to pay for it, but lady, that's insane, that kind of retro work would take… more money than, collectively, I have ever had."
"The payment has already been transferred, confirmation on your HUD in three," the shadow said, flicking its fingers and lowering its arms. A receipt flashed on the unit's AR overlay, and it blinked.
"…I haven't agreed to anything yet," it said, slowly, starting to get nervous. Faceless were generally considered an issue, by many folk… and their penchant for being heavily auged made them targets for low-retaliation corpse stripping. A call from a redline should not have been spoofable, but people found new tricks all the time…
A few rapid searches and a few taps around on the holo-monitor projected from its personal table showed that this C-DR. Crenst was…
Not just legitimate, but highly rated. Using a barrowkey, it logged into the privately maintained Faceless operated LessNet, and searched the name.
Other Faceless had work done by him - quite a lot of them, in fact. The private LessNet reviews were approximately as revealing as its searches of the general net in that they were unanimously glowing, save for a few who were merely satisfied, and one case of an accident occurring that…
Investigation had determined was not Crenst's fault or doing, through action OR negligence.
If he was a scrapper on the side, he was the most capable, spymaster-tier motherfucker on-
"You will," the shadow said, simply. "But I will humor you, unit. A crew is needed. Interstellar travel is required. The distance is… astounding, and the time it will take… significant. Eight years in Extended Purgatorium."
It stared at the shadow.
"What is the task?" it demanded.
"Dangerous… frightening. Incomprehensible, to some, the seed of madness in others. You possess the necessary qualities to not be rendered a wet, gibbering mess, before you ask why you are being approached," the shadow explained, patiently. "You do want to be an adventurer, do you not? Travel beyond the walls?"
"Ain't easy to get a license when you cant justify your certain death, no matter how eventual," it replied, bitterly. Prison wasn't the right word, nor was 'unfair' or even 'unreasonable,' but… 'frustrating' and 'fuck you' definitely applied. "I cannot leave. No one new has left in months. The government is turtling, and we do not know why."
"You will be granted an unlimited, complete license including full supply requisition and identification of potential homestead sites, and a stipend for purchase of said site, or otherwise necessary equipment and transport to any colony we know about," the shadow told it.
"Bullshit. No one can swing that."
"Swung," the shadow replied, and its City Resident profile flashed on the overlay. Its authority rank flickered, raising from D to SSS. Its travel permissions rating flickered, shifting from 'Limited Work Based' to 'Unlimited - Self Authority,' something it had only ever seen on like, logistics officers and colony ship captains. Its eyes tracked to the 'Disbursement Owed' and it noted that what previously was simply N/A had been adjusted to 'Variable - No Less Than 4 Million Coin.'
That was fucking EYE WATERING, and it didn't even have lacrimal glands anymore.
"I still haven't agreed to anything," it said, slowly, because that had all likely just cost a significant amount of money - and, covertly, it sent a message to Nancy asking her to do a few searches on it from various proxies to verify she hadn't somehow spiked its headware. "And I still don't know who you are."
"By design. Is that a requirement for hiring?" the shadow asked.
"Yes, it is. I don't work for shadows, that's how you get your ass barred from the cities, or worse, scrapped. I might want outside, but I want back in when I want, too - and I'd like to keep my fucking life and organs. I hate to be terse, I do, but this is all very suspicious," it replied, evenly. After a moment, the shadow flickered out.
"Then I want to see you," she said, her voice revealed fully, alongside the call's identification window refreshing to display pronouns she and her, and the name 'Xivisal.'
"You bear the name of the third fallen Saint-Keeper of the Angelus Remainder," it said, quietly. "Why?"
"Because a name, like a mantle, like a plank, like a talisman, can simply be given… or taken… if one wills it," she replied. "And thusly, it was willed."
"Whatever. Fine. Nancy, let her see me," it muttered, crossing its arms.
The shadow re-emerged into its AR overlay, and Vassal silently adjusted the integration system and had it rescan the floor level so her feet weren't stuck in the cement. Typically, it didn't desync like that, except for people who were-
It found itself looking down at her. Sure, Vassal itself was a halfie, touched with succubine genetics, and thusly had the benefit of significant additional scale, but she herself was very much… small.
"I didn't expect an imphound," it said, softly, peering at her fluffy ears, perked, tips just scraping five feet tall, at most. It glanced down at the scrambled blocks below her neck, obscuring fine details of her form, her garb, her everything. "You're cheating."
"Touche," she replied, and the blocks tesselated outward, clarifying her full form to reveal the legs of a hellhound, clad in belted armoring and simple cloth pants. Her torso was the same. All told, it wasn't sure why it expected her to look… more opulent, or at minimum, more complicated. "Your form… so unique, so interesting. Does that insult you?"
"Not quite, but I admit, I am not used to it," the unit replied, glancing aside. "What is my role? Dumb muscle? I don't have any distance combat packages or training, nor do I have any implant-managed neurochemical enhancement or-"
"Yes, the endocrine manager will include such chemical adaptive packages, I specified that as a requirement. Mr. Crenst is delighted, you'll be happy to know, he's having to rapidsource parts from all over the city," she interrupted. "I must say, your lack of non-exoframed images made me curious, and I am delighted to be surprised. Your mask is particularly interest-"
"Face. My FACE. It is not a mask," it said, cutting her off tersely. "I would ask you please not refer to my face as a 'mask.'"
The imphound tilted her holographic head, ears flicking, and smiled a small sort of smile. Golden eyes against the cherry red of impskin was, it had to admit, a lovely combination.
"Very well. My apologies, Dash Six. May I call you that?" she asked. It wasn't used to that. People usually didn't ask before calling it what they wanted.
"Six, or Dash, Or Vass, or Vassal," it replied. She nodded.
"Very well, Vass. My apologies. Your face is particularly interesting to me, and I daresay, quite lovely," she said, and it sighed. The politeness wasn't even a bad thing, it just didn't know how to respond. "Your task will require you to venture into a… let us call it a ruin. This network and call is hardly secure, but you will face potential death, confusion, insanity, ruin, eternal purgatorium, dismemberment, poisoning, corrosive-"
"Dangerous, got it. I gathered from the pay," it replied, sighing. "Fine. Last question, ma'am."
"Shoot," she said.
"The Extended Purgatorium stasis, what's the plan there? I've… never been in an EP pod. You hear things."
"Your consciousness will be suspended, and your body preserved using thaumic, alchemical, and temporal means. To you, it will feel like taking a nap," she told it, smiling again. "You needn't worry. They are safe, and I will be with you on board."
"In a pod?" it asked.
"In a pod," she confirmed. "You will not be able to maintain this living space. I know that is an enormous issue, but alternate payment packages can be worked out at any point, even now, if you'd prefer to return to a similar space with a sum, and so on."
Sighing, it sat down in its personal chair and shrugged.
"Doesn't matter to me, right now. This place was never my home, just where I returned to sleep between jobs. I will… miss, someone, but he will be fine without me. There are others who care deeply for him, others like me," it replied. "Just… ma'am. There's a lot, lately, a lot of shit about Faceless. I've applied to multiple colonization, mapping and exploration teams. Lot of use for someone strong and hooked up… but got no responses, or got outright denied. One of them told me he wasn't letting 'freaks' on board. Why, not me, but a Faceless in the first place? You barely even seem familiar with us."
"You are qualified, hooked up, experienced, apparently capable, remarkably competent, quick to pick up on new concepts, and highly resistant to potential mission hazards - and, if you'll forgive me this, you're so very interesting," she said, and it was still baffled by that. "…and you're polite, and discreet, but you're not trying to, pardon my coarseness, suck my asshole like I shit gold - all things I appreciate. Your nature as a Faceless is, forgive me once more, irrelevant. It is what you are. That is fine with me."
"…huh. Alright, that's… actually… fine," it murmured, inhaling a heavy dose of stimulant and nicotine vapor produced by its face and exhaling it in a light fog. "Neat. I accept."
"Then please step outside. An associate of mine will be waiting on floor three hundred, at the primary dock, in private latching 31."
"Is he going to be weird about my face, too?" it asked, tiredly.
"Negative, he's local, another recruit. Good luck, and I will welcome you on board when you wake from transfer post-op," she told it… and then, she paused, frowning. "Things may not go to plan, Vass. I want… to offer you comfort, and assuage worries if you wake to chaos. The building you are in? It's extremely secure, and prepared extremely well for what is to come. Whoever you… care about… arm him. Warn your friends something is coming, but do it quickly, and be discreet. I mean it."
"Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am," it said, unnerved. She paused, smiling a little against the dread in her eyes. "What is it, ma'am?"
"Ma'am… the moment you were hired," she said, chuckling and turning away. "Very interesting, Vassal."
The call ended and it dismissed the AR overlay, rising and looking around. Packing the majority of its things was easy - they were already packed in its job bags. The furniture…
"Nancy, I need to request assistance from the building's logistics director - and please, if possible, ping the Faceless and ask if any have seen Zeep, have them direct him to maintenance stairwell fourteen-Jera," it said, finally, moving to the bags and kneeling, digging through them to find a wrench. While Nancy pinged the building's on duty logistics director, it rose and set to work unbolting its gear system from the wall's universal socket pattern.
It also sent a message, an emergency message, via the LessNet Barrowkey connection. They weren't supposed to use that function unless it was real, and serious, and it hoped the Captain wasn't kidding.
'All Faceless of Earth - Prepare. Something is coming. Arm yourselves. Be ready.'
They would listen. Faceless trusted Faceless, and in the city, it was known well enough to have backing. While it turned the bolts, it watched additional messages flood in, reporting suspicious behavior of building management AIs, strange machinery uncovering itself at the bases of many buildings in the Deep Dark, and a notable increase in Union robotics performing rapid, typically expensive, building repairs.
Something was coming. She told it to warn its friends.
It warned ALL of them.
"Crak here, what do you need," a strong, deep voice said, startling it from its monitoring.
"Immediate egress. Furniture must remain. Is that a problem?" it asked.
"Negative, we can handle it. You're… the Facless on 271, East Corner… alrighty. Got it. Good luck out there, Vassal Dash Six" he said, and the unit chuckled, disassembling the gear system and packing it into its padded hardcase.
"Thank you, sir."
"No problem. Disconnecting," he said, bluntly - and with a crackle of static, the voice was gone. It finished its task, and then rose, using connector straps to leash the bags together. No one paid it much mind, not there - there were lots of Faceless in the building, mixed among and with the folk whose organic faces were adequate for their needs. The walk wasn't short, but it didn't mind, and preferred to avoid the internal transit system - especially that early in the day, when folk were on their way to work.
Except, it noted…
The transit system was offline… and complaints or messages on the board for said system had been either suppressed or disabled completely.
Didn't change its plans, however - crowds bugged it, too.
Instead, it walked until it reached the third branch stairwell and used a borrowed maintenace code to slip inside. The logistics manager had long ago given up on trying to prevent the Faceless from navigating the superstructure how they needed, as it was overall more efficient and cheaper to simply let them do their thing.
In the quiet of the stairwell, it ascended, wondering what it'd be like to finally get out into the black. Would it get to feel zero gravity? Would they let it do a spacewalk? It was qualified, at least, for those things…
How would the stars look, from wherever they were going? It had images of the stars over the city on most nights, when the light pollution reduction network kicked on and the city's dynamic lighting AI activated… could it compare them? Perhaps, the labelled ones… if it could identify stars familiar, it could orient.
It was, the unit decided, marked excitement. This was its big break, its chance to go be something more than part of the Human Remainder, to push the knowledge of distant things forward… It was a chance, a powerful chance, to mean something.
This was a chance to really, magnificently be of use.
"Leaving?" a soft voice asked. It activated its peripheral camera, casting a motionless sidelong glance at Zeep.
"I am. Where is your mother, Zeep? You know she worries when you walk the maintenance corridors," it replied, wondering why the kid was so fucking quiet. He moved like a ghost, a graceful creature that was half-human and half hellhound, flicking ears and tail included. Big, luminous gold eyes rose as they climbed upwards, locking right on the side microcam as if he could literally see it.
"She is asleep. I could not. Dreams."
The unit nodded.
Dreams.
"I understand," it told him. He and his mother, Anada, were good folk - kind folk - who had gone through too damn much. The collapse of the Heartbar Reclamation effort had killed a whole lot of people, including the kid's father and older sister. "…do you fear my absence?"
He looked forward, smiling an honest smile missing a canine tooth - most of his teeth had gone earlier that year, but the canines had been slow, common in houndlikes and halfies.
"No, there are other Faceless here who will help my mother when she worries," he answered. "Faceless help lots of people."
"It is our common goal," Vass replied. "I go to the stars, Zeep. Something is coming. Your mother owns a pistol… please, when you return to her… make her get it, and then get to an emergency shelter. Please."
"They sky is your birthright," the boy replied, wearing that odd, loose grin. He was a weird kid - a good kid. "I will sometimes be hard to find, for a time… you know all my spots, the others don't."
"I… wouldn't count on that," the unit confessed. They approached the landing for three hundred, and ahead of them, the door opened. Servi Fifty-fifty stepped through, and xe and the unit gripped each other's hands firmly, initiating an ultra-secure, close range 'Classic Handshake' file transfer. "Xe has my maps."
"Curses, foiled again," Zeep mumbled, looking at the floor. "I lied a little, unit… I'm sorry… I will miss you."
Vass stared down at him, for a long moment, and then took a knee.
"May I hug you, sir?" Vassal asked.
"Yeah, that's fine," Zeep said, sounding strained. The Faceless, gently, placed its hands under his arms and lifted him up, pulled him close. "I'm sorry…"
"Shhh. It is natural to cry, when people part - but important to remember, even in the tears, that perhaps one day we will see one another again, little friend," it whispered, gently. Fifty-Fifty, politely, stepped back out. "…don't worry your mother too much, kid. She loves you a lot."
"She doesn't understand me," he spat, angrily. "I like the corridors and machines… I… I'm happy here…"
"I know, and soon, you can make it your job. For now… just promise me you will stay away from the reactor levels, stay out of the drone's ways, and not get yourself censured," the unit murmured, gently setting the boy down. In an effort to comfort him, it activated its face's display function, depicting a small dark line for a smile, and small dark dots for eyes, all on shiny black vexglass. "We may yet see one another again. I don't know if I will ever return. Right now, you're a child, my friend. Give yourself time… as annoying as it is to be told to be patient."
Scuffing the toe of his boot against the floor, Zeep muttered something.
"Speak up, sir," it said.
"I want a face just like yours!" Zeep shouted - and Vass was taken aback, startled. For all their talks as the Unit volunteered to walk him home, ensure he made it back to his mother next door, the boy kept an awful lot inside… and Vass knew it was not the one to help him get it all out. It just wasn't his place, nor was he qualified - but he tried to at least listen.
"Does your mother know?" it asked. He was fourteen. Implant consent capability could be tested as early as sixteen, and adjudged by relevant personnel.
"…I'm scared, Vassal… what if she's mad…?"
It reached out, cupping his cheek.
"Talk to Fifty-Fifty, like you would to me - and then when you get home, talk to your mother. She has a kind heart, and kinder soul. She won't hate you, or be mad, Zeep."
"A-Are you sure?"
"I am - but even should she be, this world is… safe, controlled, organized. Our kind will not leave you to suffer, even if for a time, you must endure. " it said.
"…that's not comforting, Vassal…" he muttered, and the unit chuckled.
"Of course not, but it is true. Goodbye, little friend. Follow my instructions, as a Faceless would. Get your mother, get her gun… and get to the shelter hardspace. Servi will escort you," it said, standing again - and, predictably, the boy threw himself against Fifty-Fifty's side, who patted his head gently, and gave Vass a silent nod. Xis display flickered, and depicted a smile. Vassal nodded back, and headed past them into one of the maintenance nexuses below floor three hundred. A short, almost bittersweet walk down a glowing amber line painted on its vision by the AR system later, and it emerged onto the private latchings.
Outside of the airlock, the wind whipped its clothing about and ruffled its fur, but the hotwire implants buried in the dermis of its arms compensated - not that they really had to, its insulation profile was more than adequate for that temperature. It walked through the crowds who were important enough or worked distant enough to own their own transports, and the countless people waiting for public group transports or job-group transports…
And stopped before a sleek, jet black craft that looked like absolutely nothing else present. It was, in a word, insectoid, terrible and efficient looking - and the cockpit opened, designed to seat two only. That explained why it was so small, for one - though, not so small it or its companion would not fit.
"Bags in the side compartment," the pilot said, and it nodded, bowing at the waist carefully before turning to the then open compartment and loading its bags in, only to find it did not have room for its gear hardcase. "…is there more room? My apologies for the inconvenience, there is much I can abandon."
"Calm down, fuck's sake," the pilot said, chuckling. "Step on back, viskagixa."
It blinked, recognizing the Hellish word for 'Faceless,' and did as it was told. The craft drifted away from the latching, revealing that it wasn't even using VTOL engines, but the relatively bleeding edge, difficult to acquire gravitational inversion pads - an honest to fucking goodness hovercraft.
When it drifted back, the other side compartment opened, already half-full of bags, but with plenty of room. As ordered, it stowed its case and approached the open cockpit to find a heavyset taurosi, the first one that Vass had ever seen in person. He was huge, easily taller than Vass itself, and with enough bicep and softness to literally fit half of its torso in the diameter of.
"Climb over me, unless that would be unpleasant for you. If so, I'll swing it back around - there's catch nets, below, if you're scared of falling," he huffed - his AR tag was unobfuscated, denoting his name was 'Elona.' It swallowed, trying not to stare at his… extremely generous bust that it had to climb over, and badly did not want to drop a knee into by accident and hurt him, and then said, "s-swing around, please, my apologies."
"You gotta relax," he said, chuckling - and the craft drifted off, scooting back up against the docking bumpers again, allowing it to easily step over the folded down cockpit plating and settle itself into a partially reclined seat. "You know my name, and I see yours, so… What did she tell you?"
"Everything I needed to hear," it answered honestly, as the cockpit plating folded back into place and the smooth, curved sealplate hissed as it was firmly locked. "Dangerous, extreme exploration slash deep space mystery type thing, and all my dreams come true."
"Shit, sounds too good to be true, still, eh?" he asked, pulling the ship off of the latching. The interior of the sealplate displayed sudden tesselation, its interior display activating one triangular node at a time until they both got to feel as if the 'top was down' and all that remained overhead was a quarter mile of cement and living beings.
"She said we could die, I feel like the price fits the task, as vague as that task still is," it murmured. "I apologize for any inconvenience caused in my transit."
"What do you even mean, honey?" he asked, receiving the release signal. Deftly, he worked the utterly esoteric holo-controls and they drifted out of the exit port, into open air. Vassal was forced to admit, internally, that the full-shell display was really quite amazing, as they dipped right and it set to work belting in, before they zipped along through one of the regimented airlanes, utilizing the 'rapid transit' pipeline that'd disallow them from stopping or manual control until they reached the next exit node - or the node nearest their final destination.
"I will be unconscious, likely, when I am transported to the ship. I am also very heavy," it said, simply, and he snorted, and then outright laughed.
"You have got to be the oddest one I've picked up so far. Don't sweat it, hon, you couldn't strain my muscles if you tried - berserker," he answered, settling back once the route was pinned in. "I have, however, been up a day and a half at this point. You mind if I sleep?"
"Not at all, thank you for asking," it said. He just… stared at the unit a long moment, bovine face inscrutible, then laughed quietly again and closed his eyes. Vass stared at the city flashing past, and wondered - was that planet ever its home? There was so little it would miss.
Zeep.
His mother.
The local Faceless population was wonderful, and it was going to miss having constant contact with others like it, perhaps… but the Faceless were anything but unique to Earth, at that point.
Would it miss the flora?
They were familiar, but not of much interest to it.
The Fauna?
…humanity didn't want it reclaiming their land. With a soft huff, it decided… Fine.
They could do it themselves.
#story#fiction#queer#trans#scifi#fantasy#apocalyptic#mystery#writing#creative writing#Vassal Dash Six Story#Magic#cybernetics#all that jazz
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You're absolute spot fucking on, and I feel like it's important to add that the reason this is the No Reading Comprehension Website is because over the last ten odd years social media has shifted from written posts to visual ones, so people are just reading less, and fan fiction is by nature only written at the author's reading comprehension level so it doesn't challenge the people reading it.
(Which is the thing people who only read fan fiction tend to get really up in arms about-- "I don't want to be challenged!" only to then get upset when people rightly point out they have zero reading comprehension skills. At least people who have English as a second language have a reason to struggle. The reason native English speakers Of A Certain Generation struggle is because they're of the "if I can't do something perfectly on the first try, I just won't do it" generation, and you can't do that with reading comprehension. It takes practice, it takes being willing to mess up and not like, have a meltdown about it, which the Chronically In Fandom and Chronically Online just aren't fucking capable of.)
It was bad enough Twitter limited you to 140 characters for so long, but then Instagram and TikTok came along and as soon as people realized there was an option where they didn't have to read anything at all unless they had auditory issues (it took a while to get people to caption their videos for the auditory-processing impaired, which a lot of people don't remember these days because it's just done as a matter of course now) they latched onto it and haven't really looked back.
And I hate to say it, but asking them to ask another person (even anonymously on the internet) what a piece of text means may as well be asking them to chew their own foot off-- the generation that's most likely to react to and reblog things because they recognize buzzwords is simultaneously the least capable of admitting to not understanding the things outside of those buzzwords. The kids (and young adults) these days don't have any idea how to process emotions like embarrassment at not knowing something in a healthy way, so they do everything in their power to avoid them-- even if it makes them the perfect targets for misinformation. If it has the buzzwords, they hit that button, because buzzwords = Number Go Up On Social Media-- context is irrelevant. I've literally seen people reblog in agreement with a social just cause and against in the same minute just because the posts contained the same buzzwords.
This problem has been building up steam for a long time, and the only way I can imagine even beginning to course correct is to nuke Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok (Twitter is doing a good job of nuking itself but until every single industry abandons it and it's only Nazis and other extremists, it'll limp along.)
So on my posts about racism or transmisogyny, I often see tags that basically say “I don’t understand this but I’m going to reblog it anyway.” If you see a “social justice” type post that you want to reblog but don’t understand?
Don’t.
I know this goes against everything you’re used to hearing on this website, but listen. Reblogging posts you don’t understand is basically the equivalent of blindly repeating whatever you’re told. Even if you’re right, if you don’t understand why you’re right, you could be spouting utter bullshit and you wouldn’t even know it.
When I see “I don’t know what this means but I’m gonna reblog it anyway” it sends a lot of messages. It says that you care more about seeming right than being right. It says that you want good ally credit without any of the work of being a good ally. It says you’re on my side because I can make a post sound good, not because you actually agree with me on anything beyond the surface level.
So instead of just reblogging that post, save it for later. Like it, draft it, bookmark it, whatever. Go to the op’s blog and skim through a couple of pages, see if you can find some context. If the post is old, you could try asking for context in a non-condescending way. “Is this post referring to something specific?” is a lot better than, say, “Does this even happen? I’ve never heard of this.”
If that doesn’t help, do some more research. Google, search tumblr tags for recent posts on a subject, ask people who have EXPLICITLY stated they are willing to educate. Maybe in the process you’ll find more posts with a similar message to the original, but in easier to understand language. Maybe someone else already added a reply that adds useful information onto the op.
And maybe all of that takes a long time. Maybe, by the time you finally understand what the post was talking about, it’s months old and no longer relevant. Maybe you don’t even want to reblog it anymore. Who cares, fuck that post. You learned and grew as a person. That’s more important than looking good on a blog.
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about this miscellaneous changeling (v4)
This is a horny blog for horny blog things. Please don't interact if you're a minor/under 18, go away, shoo! if you follow, make sure to have some indication of your age in your bio or pinned (it doesn't need to be exact, just something to make it clear). you will be blocked if you don't and you'll miss out on *gestures at itself* all this.
this thing is a miscling, a miscellaneous changeling. it is a fae creature that is a doll, drone, kitty, mama, little (little posts are @littlefaefae), and toy. it is a plaything first and foremost, and a filthy kinky subby thing that is a really really really fun to play with. it is super positive about kink. it loves to play, have adventures, and meet others. it is an excellent plaything, subject, submissive, and pet. this thing is a good girl who loves being played with, loves being obedient, loves being controlled, and loves showing off its body.
it enjoys getting to know others. it enjoys playing with others. it enjoys belonging to others. it enjoys a lot of different kinks with a lot of different dynamics. it enjoys a lot of hypnokink, a lot of bondage, a lot of masochism, a lot of petplay, a lot of degredation, a lot of praise, a lot of caregiving, and a lot of orgasm control. if it involves sensory play, deep subspaces, and submission, then this thing likely loves it. you can always ask about specific kinks!
this blog is all about kink. this thing loves kink. it talks about kink, it writes about kink, it does kink, and it has so many kinks. you'll find posts about kink here: theory, fantasies, practice, and community. it posts about its own playtimes, loves to show off with selfies, answers asks, and reblogs posts it finds hot. it loves getting and answering asks, so don't be afraid to send it some! send it questions, fantasies, secrets, lies, teasing, and a little flirting.
this thing is also trans, queer, autistic, ADHD, poly, and non-human. it is a trans woman, it has a neo-cunt. it wants to get to know others who are like it, especially if you are in the UK like this thing - it really enjoys meeting its mutuals in real life!
it loves this blog so much, and it hopes you will love it too!
below the cut: tags for finding stuff and its limits! (updated for v4!)
Limits and boundaries:
this thing is poly, it has a nest partner, it has multiple play partners, it is not looking for anything monogamous or exclusive.
it does not like misogyny, transphobia, racism, nationalism, or bigotry. this applies to kink as well. before any negotiated dynamic, we are equal.
this thing wants to be owned and wants to belong to others, it is submissive by default, but it is not yours until it gives itself to you.
it enjoys hard kinks, but this toy must be treated with care and respect. if you can't look after this toy, you can't play with it.
it holds consent as the baseline for any engagement of kink and must be respected. consent can be revoked at any time for any reason, by anyone involved.
Tags it uses:
posts about this thing: About Miscling
Pics of this thing: Miscling Appears. (go on a reblog and liking spree!)
original posts: Miscling Rambles
posts about lactation: Miscling Lactates
this thing's polls: Miscling Polls
hear its voice: Miscling Speaks and its soundgasm page!
see tasks it has done: miscling tasks! If you like or follow its blog, think about sending it a task as a little gift!
read about its play: Miscling Plays
read stories it wrote: Miscling Writes.
Use its ask box: ask meme and miscling answers (scroll the ask meme tag and use any meme you like, but copy in the questions or link the meme!)
throne wishlist!
ko-fi link! (please don't reference anything nsfw on kofi if you use this)
its kink tags: mommysub for posts about being a mommysub, goddess thoughts for religionplay where i'm a subby goddess, Bind Miscling for bondage, hit me for masochism, moo for hucow things, lee mood for tickling, oh my circuits for robot/drone things, maid day for maids, tidy up tuesday for my maid day, monsterling for monsterfucking posts, hypno gif, spiral, hypno txt, and hypnaudio, for hypno play, and hypnoslut for general hypno posts, preyling for primal play, latexcellent for rubberwear. same tbh, !, and ^^ will tell you a lot about the things it likes too.
this thing is a toy for others to enjoy!
(Most tasks recieved and completed in one day: 18) (Most tasks recieved on a special occasion: 48)
ASK TASKS: OPEN
use this thing's ask box to send it tasks to do! everyday tasks give it things to do that are simple and easy: if you want to torment this thing, here are the tasks for that!
choose one or more task emoji, but keep tasks short please!
tasks can come from anyone, even anons!
it will do tasks as soon as it can!
Mutuals can DM, and if it is available we can play!
Suggest something if you'd like!
EVERYDAY TASK LIST!
✏️ give it something to write and tell it where to write it on its body! 💖 make it draw a little heart on itself where you tell it! 🌻 make it write a post about anything that's on its mind at the moment! 🗣️ ask it anything, name a kink or give it a topic to write about (kinky or otherwise) and it'll write a post about it. 🔊 send it a post or write something for it to record saying, and it'll post the recording. ❌ make it go take a break outside for 5 mins!
TORMENT THIS THING!
🗜️ make it wear nipple clamps for 10 minutes! ⚡ choose a part of it and make it use its TENS unit there for 10 mins. 🤐 choose a gag and make it gag itself for half an hour! 👗 make it get undressed and be naked for the next 30 mins! 👣 have elastic bands snapped on its feet 10 times! 🖐️ get hit 10 times with an implement of your choice! 🪢 tell it to go play with its rope and post some pics! 😵💫 make it repeat a mantra while staring at a spiral (you can use its mantra tag for ideas and spiral tag for ideas.)
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Hey, You. You're Finally Awake.
Hello there! Welcome to my personal hellscape, don't know how you found your way in. I thought the forcefield was holding up quite well... But nevermind that! You're here now and that's what matters!
Call me Chi. This is my main blog, it's a bit of a hodgepodge of everything that catches my fanciful. I kinda reblog whatever fandoms are in my sphere at any given moment, pretty things, and the occasional useful education material. Once every leap year I might even post some art or stories. If anything strikes your fancy from fandoms, to pretty things, to my simply dazzling personality, my inbox is open. I tend to mostly lurk otherwise.
As far as fandom spheres go... I'm presently (technically) active in the Final Fantasy XIV, Undertale, and Starbound spheres. In so far as they're always lurking on my mind and I frequently consume / write Fanfiction, headcanon, or play them. These three are not likely to change anytime soon. XIV has been going strong for 8 years, Undertale recently I believe hit it's 4th year anniversary. And Starbound is the baby of the group with a little less than a year under its belt, though it's a repeat on/off for the last few years.
While those might be my main spheres, I do engage in and generally enjoy quite a few more. Some of which include, but are hardly limited to : Cult of the Lamb, Rune Factory, Fatal Frame, several SMT spin off series, Warcraft 3, Starcraft 2, Until Dawn, The Quarry, Nier, Minecraft, Slay the Princess, Fullmetal Alchemist, Ouran High School Host Club, Blue Eyed Samurai, Criminal Minds, and so much more! I occasionally watch anime, but generally prefer to instead split my time between games and writing.
With all that having been said, should you choose to stay I hope you enjoy your time here. Take a load off and relax. I've got some fresh tea at the ready and there's a seat for everyone at the table.
#introduction#probably should have done this like 7 years ago#im so sorry you're here#bigotry/hate will not be tolerated here#otherwise everyone's welcome#gamenerd#to my discord friends that recognize this#what are you doing on tumblr#if you ever make a comment abt my fanfiction I will leave cursed images in your DM box for the next 10 years
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