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#im sure everyone and their mothers are posting this meme but i had to
cirrus-grey · 8 days
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thefrontofmymind · 1 year
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matty healy x reader ig blurb
FC: Olivia Cook
a/n: there isn't really a particular trope i could put this under. like there's marriage and a baby, all of it soft launched. idk. help me
2019
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yninstagram oui oui baguette, bisou xx
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ynfan1 living for yn the rockstar girlfriend
ynfan2 our meme queen
>1975fan1 her and matty are so made for each other
ynfan3 omg i thought she was in paris i saw her today adsskdfjs
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yninstagram why travel with your rockstar of a boyfriend if youre not going to get a metric tonne of fries from room service?
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1975fan1 WHY IS THERE A PIECE OF BREAD ON THE BARE TABLECLOTH??
ynfan1 the past generation had alexa chung, we have yn
ynfan2 how is she so prettyyyyy
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yninstagram via stories:
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yninstagram via stories:
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caption: home.
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trumanblack via stories:
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2022
yninstagram via stories:
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~~~
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trumanblack Love. Love. Love. Love. What other word could I use? Happy birthday.
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1975fan1 IM SORRY YN IN A WEDDING DRESS???? WHAT???
>ynfan1 AND IT LOOKS TO BE FROM AROUND 2019 BASED ON HER HAIR
>1975fan1 I AM FREAKING OUT
yninstagram love you
1975fan2 so im guessing i have no chance?
>trumanblack none at all, i’m afraid.
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yninstagram lol
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ynfan1 ARE THEY TROLLING WHATS GOING ON???
ynfan2 HER LEFT HAND IS CROPPED OUT
ynfan3 im sorry why is everybody freaking out?
>ynfan4 matty posted a photo of yn in a wedding dress seemingly from a while ago, everyone thinks they’re married now
trumanblack nice shirt, i wonder who’s wardrobe you stole it from
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yninstagram im watching you. also stream being funny in a foreign language, its by…the 1885?
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ynfan1 she’s so right they are mum and dad
1975fan1 im sorry im just thinking about that deuxmoi post from like january
>1975fan2 what one? sorry im a newer fan
>1975fan1 it was about a singer and a model who got secretly married and had a baby like a couple months later and it was never revealed who it was
>1975fan2 oh thats interesting!
ynfan2 obSESSED with that ring
ynfan3 i STILL cant get over that yn and matty are married! Im never going to recover from this
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yninstagram throwback to baby’s first aquarium visit (yes, this is what you think.)
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ynfan1 I AM CRYINGGG
1975fan1 HOLY FUCK THAT BLIND ITEM WAS REAL
ynfan2 mother is mothering the most a mother could mother right now
1975fan2 WAIT SO BOTH ADAM AND MATTY EACH HAVE A KID NOW??
>1975fan3 omg half of the 1975 are dads now…
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yninstagram BRITS.
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trumanblack milf.
>yninstagram thx
charli_xcx FITTIEEEE
>yninstagram THANK U BABYYYY
ynfan1 step on me
1975fan1 the 1975 WAGs make me bi
ynfan2 how is she real???
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dailymail Yn shares new video of her son on instagram, the tot was captured splashing in a puddle of mud in an instagram story from his mum. This is the first we’ve seen anything of Yn and Matty Healy’s baby after the “soft launch” back in November.
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ynfan1 is this really news? a mum shared a video of her child doing something cute, it happens every day
>ynfan2 well yn was the one that posted it, surely she expected people to talk about it
ynfan3 so so cuteeee
1975fan1 I can’t believe my parents are actual parents!!
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GROWING UP A FAT GIRL IN THE Y2K ERA
I know peoples attention spans suck so don't worry im adding sections. So you can scroll through and just read whatever intrigues you if you can't commit to the whole thing!!
this post will talk about my experiences growing up as a fat girl and just a little bit about how it effected my relationship to my body as I grew up as well as the struggles of fatness intersecting with racism and ableism as well as very briefly touching on the wojack giving fat girl backshots meme going around!
SECTION 1 THE BEGINNING OF MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY BODY AND HOW FAT PHOBIA EFFECTED IT.
My first experience with fat phobia I remember consciously is around the ages of 6 or 7. My mother and father had recently divorced and I was growing into myself more and more everyday getting stronger, smarter, limbs getting longer, body getting bigger. I was going through growth spurts. I would chub up a little then id grow a few inches, chub, grow, chub grow. Seems like a pretty normal concept or idea to manage right? Well not for the average y2k adult. Everyone would always make comments to my mother or out of fear of being judged for being a bad parent she would bring it up herself. I remember my mothers response to the comments about my body. "she is stress eating because of the divorce!" was always her reply... and giiiiirl no the fuck I wasn't. I was not really that effected by my mom and dads divorce till later on. At that age as long as I was surrounded by most of my family and I had YouTube much else didn't matter to me and kind of went over my head if i'm being real with you. Hey I'm a kid though who knows maybe I was stress eating and just had no idea what to call it at the time and then don't remember but honestly, if my memory is serving me correctly I used to be so confused when she said that! If I was eating a little more it was probably because I was GROWING INTO MY BODY MAYBE?? That was my first run in which followed up with many more, like when my dad made me step on a scale in the living room of his new home strangers -that later became family- walking around, free to stare at whatever the number said. "If you don't lose weight you are coming to live with me." Still echoes through my head, I was about 7. It doesn't stop there I was being called a cow at school, or by my older brothers at home during petty fights we'd have. Some how none of the insults really stuck like that (besides the situation with my dad). They definitely hit me, but if I denied that they did then that counts as dodging them right? Growing up I always thought I wasn't that heavily effected by the raging and rampant fat phobia permeating through the y2k, but in reality it caused me to start neglecting my body all together. Up until the summer between 7th and 8th grade I never looked at myself in the mirror. Maybe a quick glance but I would never fixate on my appearance. Now hyper fixating on your appearance can be unhealthy but so is pretending you don't have one at all which was the type of timing I was on. Fat phobia among other factors was the leading cause of what became a history of neglecting myself.
SECTION 2 DEVELOPING AN EATING DISORDER AS A FAT PERSON
scroll to the next section if you want to avoid triggers!
The effect fat phobia had on me didn't really start to show on the surface until 7th-8th grade. My girlfriend had an eating disorder and she was living with me at the time because her family was homeless (we were closeted as best friends). She didn't encourage my eating disorder but it was kind of a monkey see monkey do kind of thing, she made me start to consider it. At that age range I was looking for different ways to destroy myself as well as connect with my peers and some how those too things strongly intersected as the glamorization of self harm and mental illness was at an all time high. I'm not sure why twelve to thirteen yearly anon wanted to destroy themselves so bad but I think if anything it stemmed from a need for control over my surroundings. At this age my home life wasn't the best. I forgot how, but I think maybe through just looking up depressing quotes in general I found the infamous Ana and Mia. Oh and trust me Cassie Ainsworth from skins did not help AT ALL. CUE THE INFAMOUS GIF:
TW CASSIE AINSWSORTH GIF:
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even LOOKING FOR THIS GIF BEGAN TO STIR SOMETHING INSIDE ME OH MY GOD??
The worst part about being a fat girl with an eating disorder is how proud of me everyone was. "Anon you're getting so slim!" "Anon look at you slimming out see I knew it was just baby fat!". My friends knew of my ed so they would never compliment me for it or really talk about my body in general, probably half because of my ed but also half because I was still fat and not considered desirable or something to be jealous of regardless of if I lost a few pounds. But my family complimented my figure a lot as I slimmed and I got less fat jokes and the doctor was happy and people did treat me a little different. JUST a little cuz I was still fat but a noticeable enough change in the way people treated me for me to want to keep going and indulge myself deeper in my unhealthy habits.
But yeah long story short I developed an ed and I thought I was so fat and gross and disgusting and dude I look back at myself and why was my body LICHRALLAY SO T??? I honestly wasn't even morbidly obese or anything (which I am now BECAUSE of my eating disorder but fuck it we ball and also I ENJOY BEING FAT I knowww plot twist right?) also you minors in the ed community YES YOU take NOTE at this next part: I was literally just growing into my body... but then I fucked up my metabolism really bad and completely skewed my relationship with health, dieting, and workout culture so i'm either doing too much or not enough. So not only did my metabolism get utterly destroyed but having to learn how to take care of myself from scratch ended up destroying all the progress made and here I am literally 60 pounds heavier than I was back then and i've dropped weight since i've developed a healthier relationship with my body so if we are keeping it a buck until about a year ago I had accumulated about 100 pounds of weight since my pre ed days because of the effects the eating disorder had on me ! (oh and I have heart problems now not from being fat but from attempting to become skinny the wrong way! if you fast and binge or fast and do cardio and feel your heart beating like that... if you know you know...yeah you're fucking up your heart and need to stop like right now girly!) SO yeah I am a recovering anorexic with some bulimic symptoms. Though even after developing my eating disorder my issues with body image didn't really really affect me until later on.
SECTION 3 THE SOCIALIZATION OF FATNESS/THE INTERSECTIONAL STRUGGLE BETWEEN MY BLACKNESS AND FATNESS/ BECOMING THE DUFF/ WOJACK MEME.
Along side subconsciously neglecting myself I would also publicly portray myself as very tough skinned and overly confident all throughout middle and high school as a defense mechanism when in reality I was pretty indifferent toward myself and extremely sensitive. I think that my tough exterior wasn't only due to me being fat but also being a black woman although I am biracial/light skinned in complexion I feel like I was still hyper masculinized due to my blackness especially growing up in an area where I was closer in proximity to blackness then a large majority of my counterparts. I feel like a lot of my aggression and flamboyancy came from constantly being in a state of self defense and also subconsciously feeling like I had to play the role that was written for me or else I wouldn't be loved or appreciated or wanted. By the role that was written for me i'm talking about Precious, Rasputia, Mercedes Jones, Ivy Wentz, the stereotype of being the fat black women, and for my non black fat baddies for you this would be The DUFF role. This is when you're known as the flamboyant friend with the attitude that everyones scared to make the butt of the joke because she is NOT afraid to snap you in two. The stereotype isn't entirely wrong i'm sure a lot of people fall into it for the same reason as me but then it becomes our main character trait, and that mixed into a juicy cocktail of dehumanization of fat bodies turns you into the friends the skinny girls bring to the club to scare off ugly dudes as if you're a bodyguard and are immune to sexual or physical assault because you're fat!
So I grew up neglecting my body because of fat phobia developed a life altering eating disorder because of how romanticized they were due to fat phobia, and spent my whole life being guys secret crush, or the "annoying dramatic fat girl" because of fat phobia but still even then it didn't seem it had the real detrimental effect on my body image everyone said it would until I was 20. When I was 20 I moved back to my hometown for a little bit where the beauty standard is very much "ambiguous white skinny girl" and I thought that maybe I would get play because hey we are like adults who are deprogramming all that bullshit anyway right? WELLL I did get play, crazy play of course! Just in secret, and I've had guys have secret crushes on me etc but never to the extent I began to face it in my 20's where they would so obviously be horny over me all the time while simultaneously being mad at me for making them horny because I'm fat and it confuses and embarrasses them ( men are genuinely socialized to be suchhhh fucking psychopaths. -if you're a guy and you're reading this don't say that not all men bullshit yes we know not you i'm not gonna specify every time to preserve your ego goddamn). I have some sad and weird stories about that, that involves men thinking they could be more aggressive with me or literally impose violence on me or be extremely weird and creepy because they're embarrassed they're attracted to a fat girl and on top of that a fat black girl that they hyper-masculinized and degraded in their head due to societal pressure/influence... but imma save that for another day or maybe never because I see nothing coming out of me posting that on here but relived trauma. Also the type of man I just described are the same ones reposting this new viral wojack meme by the way:
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thats all im saying about that meme, the guys reposting it like fat bitches and are scared that they like us and can't think for themselves thats literally all I wanted to input into the conversation regarding THAT....
also I use the word bitch in an endearing aave way not in a deragotry way so please don't hit me with that "don't call women bitches" thing I don't be doing it a lot but im also not gonna stop using aave and also i'm LICHRALLY AFAB sooooo shut up...
ANYWAYS...The violence I faced at this point in my life really triggered something in me it made me realize that because of the stereotypes held up against me I will never be treated or respected or perceived authentically by the average Joe. The only person that would see me is those who have taken extensive time to deprogram parts of their brain that created these deep routed bias etc. ( also if you're wondering why these biases were created it all leads back to capitalism but THATS for another post..) After facing literal violence cause of my body it definitely caused a blow at my self esteem, but even then I shined on and persevered continuing to be my sexy self.
SECTION 4 FAT PHOBIA AND ABLEISM INTERTWINED.
It wasn't until I randomly got into an accident and became temporarily handicapped while also in the most toxic relationship of my life did I really start to fucking hate myself. For multiple months I couldn't walk, and not only was I physically handicapped but the trauma I was experiencing at that time of my life had left me mentally handicapped as well I simply didn't want to be alive and exist in this body or any body I just didn't want to exist. I had a foot I could hop on but I couldn't carry all my weight on that foot because of my previous issues with my health, (I had already been struggling with a chronic illness that effected my muscles) and i didn't have the strength in my arms for the crutches so I succumbed to my injuries, resulting in weight gain, eventually hip and back issues etc. Then, when my leg healed, the access weight made me feel like I couldn't walk without pain. I was having issues with my health unrelated to my weight since 2020 but I was homeless up until last year and it was also covid so I had no way to really see a doctor and also I was like 18-19 and had no fucking idea how any of that worked and am still figuring out how it works to this DAY. I actually just got my insurance card for the first time this year. YIPPE YIPPE EVERYBODY CLAP. These issues with my health effected my muscles and my bodies ability to absorb the nutrients from the food I ate so this injury was kind of like the icing on top of the cake because my chronic illness made the recovery almost in possible. I would cry a lot, stopped taking pictures of myself, and everything. But even then I knew I didn't really have any interest in being thin I actually really fuck with my warm fluffy voluptuous form, I just didn't want to be unhealthy.
I still haven't fully unpacked the shame I felt around being unhealthy, I was so ashamed despite me trying my best with what I had, and what I knew, and I also still haven't fully unpacked why I feel like I have to specify as I literally just did a few lines earlier that I was 'trying my best', why do visibly disabled folks only deserve care or sympathy when they're actively trying to fit into a world that isn't set up to support or aid them when it very well could be? The intersectional oppression of ableism and fat phobia is still something i'm actively developing my thoughts about.
A thought ive been thinking about a lot is how obesity is a health condition and it can be detrimental to some folks and that saying that it isn't is a reactionary trauma response to fat phobia BUT also a lot of things can be detrimental and the level of detriment different things give you differentiates based on the person. Some people are bigger than me and healthier. Some people are smaller than me and UNhealthier. The detriment fatness has on your health as all things doesn't exist on the linear scale we have created for it. SO although obesity is a disease and proposing that fat doesn't correlate with health in an important way is harmful it is also harmful and plain weird to hyper fixate on obesity. Im also thinking about how obesity is treated this way because it's one of the most visible health issues and how that bleeds into ableism. I'm still working on these thoughts i'm having and how to explain and dissect them in a proper digestible and understandable way. So I think this where I leave you to think on your own about this, what do you think? Please feel free to comment below!
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maria-ruta · 3 months
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Veronica 💢 🕷️ 👪 and ❤️ :3
💢 ANGER - what are some habits they have that will take some getting used to?
usually she takes some extra time in the begining of the night to put a pretty face X'D washing, makeup, outfit, nails etc... thos some of her images take less time of preparation (like punk for example)
I can remember one specific moment in the game when she didnt have time to make herself all pretty and such because had lots of things to do and later on regreted this bc was mocked in elysium by it's keeper toreador and her goons, and im sure it wasn't the only ocasion in her life, so yeah i think as years go she keeps taking her preening routine more seriously and personal, probably OCD in some sense
another trait of her that some vampires might have troubles to getting used to - she has high level of humanity, so she would be against hurting inosent people, or killing anybody etc
if you have troubles or problems, she is willing to help, but it might turn into her giving her advice that you haven't asked for. so for you it might be pretty irritating, sometimes she's crossing the line
🕷 SPIDER - what is their biggest fear? do they have any irrational / mundane fears?
her beast taking over resulting in her hurting others (happened at least several times in our game), her loosing her humanity completely and her turning into inhumane bloodthirsty monster
loosing everyone she loves, being completely lonely
hurting kids - she even has tabu on drinking blood from children and teenagers
👪 FAMILY - what is their family like? what is your ocs relationship to them? does your oc have any siblings?
her biological family: back in 1920s, before she became vampire, she had father and mother, older sister and younger sister. older sister was married and had husband and little son Tommy (around 6-7 years old. the only character i came up with a name hahaa). her family origianally lived in little town near Chicago. Veronica had big dream of becoming singer or actress in Chicago. Her parents were judjemental of her lifestyle there and were telling her to stop this nonsense and marry already, like her big sister. So Veronica didn't have very good relationship with her parents but it wasn't awful either. Her relationship with her sisters were better
But after her embrace her sire arranged it so that Veronica was noted as dead so... Veronica hasn't had a chance to see her family again, because she had to keep the masquarade... Her family were heartbroken and her parents made a conclusion that nothing good comes from girl chasing her stupid dreams in a big city U_U
Even tho it was dangerous and painful Veronica sometimes would sneak to see how is her family doing
her last relatieve who remembered her - her nephew Tommy - died in nursing home around 80s. Veronica visited him there once, the second time she came he was already gone
sad is the story of immortal creatures
but neitherway, during her vampire years of life, she made friends and connections
there are vampires that I think she would call her family
for example her coterie members - Rene (character of my friend Kate), Jaquilene (character of my friend @tench-art), Charlie (character of my friend @osatokun)
her sire Moore, her friend anarch Jack, her friend Johny
fairy Monica also quikly won a place in Veronica's heart, and she thinks of her as her little sister (Monica called her big sis several times anyway haha)
and Veronica's current boyfriend brujah Jake is going to become her long term relationship (for at least several years for sure. its rare for vampires to have relationship forever) so he's also getting a place in her found family haha
❤️ RED HEART - their love language(s)?
attention, help, gifts, doing something for you, hugs, kisses, flirting idk
Link to the ask meme post
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sydneyscarm · 10 months
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“about the blogger” meme
thank you to @bioloyg for tagging me :)
y’all don’t really know me so this’ll b fun
star signs: aquarius sun, gemini moon, capricorn rising,,, two air signs in my big three might scare u but trust my chart is earth dominant!!!! i promise!!!!
fav holiday: i love christmas! im not particularly religious, and i don’t consider myself christian or catholic like when i was a child, but i love the lights and the music and the gift-giving and general holiday cheer
last meal: lol i think i had a joint for dinner last night honestly. just forgot to eat and went straight to bed after smoking. i’m about to eat filipino spaghetti for breakfast though
current fav musician: faye webster (specifically jonny rn) and beyonce (all of renaissance has been on repeat since its release) and victoria monet (all of jaguar II is insane, grammy sweep i just know it)
last music listened to: probably ctrl (deluxe) by sza on my way home from work last night
last movie watched: taken, that action movie with liam neeson lmfao. but if we’re talkin movie theater viewing, it was the ballad of songbirds and snakes
last tv watched: i’ve been rewatching s2 of bridgerton. kate & anthony the couple that you are.
last book/fic finished: the last book was catching fire (i was rereading thg like the rest of the world) and the last fic i read was an unfinished sydcarmy fic i found literally an hour ago called all things go (all things go) everyone should read it, very good.
last book/fic abandoned: last book i abandoned was speak, okinawa. it’s a memoir about an asian girl’s struggling relationship with her mother and her culture. very good (and relatable) but extremely heavy so i took a pause on it.
currently reading: thg resurgence so i’m reading the ballad of songbirds and snakes, i didn’t get to finish it before watching the movie and i keep getting caught up so it’s taking forever to finish, but im almost done w it
last thing researched for art/writing: i haven’t full-fledged written for fandom in probably years. but i used to research a lot of fighting techniques cause i was deep in the my hero academia brain rot LMFAO
fav online fandom memory: i mostly inhabited twitter fandom spaces so in 2020 i was placed in a ship gc and i met one of my best friends on there <3 so i think that would be it
fav old fandom you wish would have a resurgence: the show is quite shit and not good at all but, for nostalgia reasons, i would love to see fairy tail (anime) have a resurgence. i bet the fics would be soooo top tier compared to when i was like 9 and reading fics on wattpad and ffnet
fav thing you enjoy that never had an active or big “fandom” but you wish it did: this is more to do w me being interested in things once hype dies down and less to do with a fandom actually being active or big, but i absolutely devoured s2 of bridgerton when i first saw it. and i read every single fic in that kathony tag.
tempting project you’re trying to reign in/don’t have time for: i don’t really write anymore and have stuck to silly posts and headcanon threads but i’ve had a pride and prejudice sydcarmy au stuck in my head for a couple days
this was fun now u know some of my life!!! im pretty sure @bioloyg tagged everyone that i come across in this fandom so ive got no one WHOMP but feel free to do this if u see it 😛
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qnewsau · 8 months
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Drama on MAFS after gay groom flirts with crew member
New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/drama-on-mafs-after-gay-groom-flirts-with-crew-member/
Drama on MAFS after gay groom flirts with crew member
Things aren’t looking good for Married At First Sight Australia’s gay grooms Michael and Stephen after a big blow-up on Monday night’s MAFS episode.
Michael Felix and Stephen Stewart met at the altar mid-season a few weeks ago. But last night, their “marriage” was in chaos after Michael caught Stephen flirting with another man.
“Today was meant to be a fun day,” Michael explained to the camera.
“We had a publicity shoot and Stephen was getting his hair done, and I could see my husband flirting with the hairdresser.
“On the car ride home, I saw Stephen was smiling and laughing at his phone. I asked, ‘Who are you texting?’
“He was talking to the hairdresser. Stephen told me he felt a spark with this hairdresser that he’s never felt with me.”
Stephen felt ‘sexual spark’ with hairdresser
Discussing it together, Stephen, who works as a hairdresser himself, told Michael he didn’t intend to hurt him but felt “really confused”.
“I had a 30-second conversation with someone and I felt it was so much easier to get flirty with them than I did with you after two and a half weeks,” Stephen admitted.
“Absolutely, we had a spark there. It was playful and a little bit flirty, 150 per cent. I know that’s a s__t thing to hear, which is why I feel so guilty.
“I feel s__t, but feeling that instant attraction to someone made me realise what we’re missing.”
Stephen later adds, “I would be lying to you and everyone if I said I could go forward in this to build a sexual relationship with you.”
Michael takes his wedding ring off, slams it down and storms out.
“After that, I don’t know if I care to salvage it,” he says.
But even after all that, the two men still choose to go on the ~Couples Retreat~ to Byron Bay.
Michael and Stephen join the rest of the cast by the campfire but the pair’s “rough week” gets even worse.
youtube
Hilarious and distracting detail during MAFS fight
MAFS viewers discussed all they’d just witnessed between Michael and Stephen, including one accidentally hilarious detail during the couple’s fight: Michael’s shirt.
The front of Michael’s shirt featured the legendary meme of screaming Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Camille Grammar edited together with a white cat sitting at a table.
Image: Nine
I don’t even care what’s going on between Michael and Stephen.
WHERE DID MICHAEL GET THAT SHIRT#mafs #mafsau
— Nathan Mulholland (@natetha68) March 4, 2024
Get Michael and Sara onto a real housewives franchise STAT #MAFS #MAFSAU pic.twitter.com/iLwkeGtcxK
— kiki 🧚🏻‍♀️ (@violettfemmes) March 4, 2024
CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE SHIRT MICHAEL WAS WEARING DURING THIS INCIDENT IM SCREAMING #mafs #mafsau pic.twitter.com/Y3njDmE25K
— jack’s terrible veneers (@beggywilliamz) March 4, 2024
MAFS viewers also mostly agreed Stephen didn’t come out of the whole thing looking all that great.
“Fair enough Stephen developing a connection with someone else. But he needs to own it and leave the experiment,” one person wrote.
“You can’t deny a spark you feel for someone else, but surely it’s common courtesy to wait until the experiment is finished before you go off sparking with a hairdresser you just met,” somebody else wrote.
“Stephen was crying not too long ago about his father cheating on his mother only to emotionally cheat on his husband in his face?” another wondered.
“If you don’t feel it you don’t feel it but these experts are useless at putting people together,” one person wrote.
If Stephen isn’t attracted to Michael and doesn’t see it working that’s fine but to get someone’s phone number and text in front of him to rub the “instant attraction” into his face is pretty gross and unfair. #MAFSAU #MAFS
— Stacey❤💙🏆 (@_Stacey1987) March 4, 2024
Stephen, no one is blaming you for your lack of attraction to Michael. But you actively flirting with the hairdresser, getting the guy’s number and texting him while still in the experiment with Micheal is very disrespectful! It’s also cheating. #MAFS #MAFSAU #mafsaunz
— Darmendran Kumar (@DarmendranKuma1) March 4, 2024
Stephen not liking Michael because he’s not masc enough while being a hairdresser and having a sexual spark with another hairdresser. Make it make sense #MAFS #MAFSAU
— T V (@TV16424731) March 4, 2024
Stephen at home watching his instagram numbers go down when everyone’s turned on him #mafs #mafsau pic.twitter.com/s0pC1mNI57
— jack’s terrible veneers (@beggywilliamz) March 4, 2024
Stephen! #mafs #MAFSAU pic.twitter.com/QJbbpLGIMI
— Y a s m i n🧡🥭 (@mango_heaux) March 4, 2024
Married At First Sight Australia continues on Nine.
For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.
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yasashiiku · 1 year
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10, 16, 18, and 20 for the munday meme!
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10. Would you be friends with your muse if they were real?
I'm very loveable between younger boys for a reason (cousins, neighbors, my lil brothers' friends-) so I think I'd get a long with Shou & Shigeo & tlp :'), lots of mothering and berating involved, I'm not the eldest daughter for nothing x'D Kyojuro and Uta are too extroverted my introverted ass is SCARED Σ(°ロ°) Aoi shares a lot of traits with me I can see the both of us cleaning up an entire idk castle then having tea ...
16. Favourite trope?
Anything & everything that involves exploring the vulnerability of one's self, breaking down characters to pieces then putting them back together v neatly ! :] I like that a lot, I also like writing ambiguous morality, I can write a whole bunch of goody two shoes but slowly you'll see how everyone is kind of fucked up in their own way, sometimes it's harmless, just there- sometimes it has really great weight on the characters and how they interact with others. All in all, I'm a sucker for darker themes with little rays of light here and there! I try to make sure it's perfectly balanced as all things should be uwu
18. Are there any AU’s you’d like to explore but haven’t had the chance to yet?
Oh my god, you've opened a can of worms, and it's mostly Shou brain worms- but yES I have SO MANY AUs. Starting with kny I always loved the modern demon hunting AU, I know it's literally the same story but like modern but no, THE VIBES would be sooo different, so neat, the corps having tech that's more advanced than the regular masses?? demons would actually be much less in numbers and less known to people, demon slayers going to school & simple jobs & hiding their demon slaying careers, secret missions, nosy citizens & media, and everyone in suits cuz im insane, that's the good stuff.
As for mp100 I have way too many ideas and this post would get so long so I'm just gonna write 2, first is an AU I like to calll "foul & fair" based on a fic I read once, where Shou is a man of no woman born, intead he's a being completely made of the core of his father's psychic energy, impossible & unnatural & innocent & literally his father's biggest fear on earth and Shou doesn't even KNOW, there are too many possibilities, how'd he go about knowing, how are other psychics handling it, how Shou lives between humans when he can't call himself one- it's a very fun AU i love it sm i die. Idea number 2 is amnesia au set after the events of confession arc, I'm gonna avoid spoilers and just say Toichiro sends his son flying as a means to protect him, Shou gets head trauma & forgets everything ever, no one handles it well, some are guilt ridden, some want to support him but don't know how, his mother is devastated, but it also gives so much room to explores so many new dynamics & have Shou process all his past & present trauma in such new light. I'm also devastated :)
20. How do you overcome writer’s block?
I don't. lol
jk jk, I like reading fanfics, I like reading fanfics a lot especially one shots cuz they explore a single idea in few words and offer a lot of inspiration! other than that I dive into pinterest and get drowned in fanart and quotes and then im ON FIRE again in no time !
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lordiavoloremade · 2 years
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i see you posting about the heard v depp case but honestly i have no idea what happened(?) can you tell me what's going on? (very briefly, no need to say the whole deal if you don't feel like it) i don't even know who's in the wrong now. all i know is that people who are making memes out of this are dumb
this is going to be really short (and i HIGHLY suggest checking out the original sources and deciding for yourself because even if you trust me i am just a stranger on the internet and have my own biases, so dont take everything i say as gospel) this is pretty quickly summed up and i may have missed somethings, so i highly reccomend getting more than just my voice as a source. also if you or any of my followers just want to ignore this i totally understand and respect that, and this post is not to put pressure on anyone to post about my views on the case, just to inform those who would like to hear.
in 2016 amber heard wrote an article about her experiences w dv and did not name depp but it was assumed. she had mass support in the beginning and this was right before the start of the metoo movement. flash forward to now where depp has chosen to publically engage in a defamation trial (he purposefully went to virginia to do this case, in order for it to be livestreamed. its pretty impossible to win a case as a public figure for defamation, so his goal here isnt to get a verdict its to destroy heard and further tramuatize her in what is known as litigation abuse). now because people have been looking for an excuse to not believe metoo for a while, everyone and their mother has hoped onto johnny depps dick despite all of the evidence supporting all of amber heards claims. this is a guy who did blackface in the 2010s, and sent texts to his friend saying he wanted to murder and r*pe heards dead body. yet people believe that amber heard is a "narccisisitic" (people with cluster b mental illnesses are more likely to be hurt by others but whatever) female abuser and depp is their poor innocent male victim. if you try to say he isnt a victim of dv and is the perpetrator people tell you youre not supporting male victims even though he is not a victim (abusers will often use the "you were the abuser" tactic). most people who are on depps side are getting their information from youtubers (who have no qualifications, this INCLUDES people who are talking about body language like its a science, its not) and tiktoks (even worse). if you look at the evidence (i will link an article and a video below) all of it shows heard is innocent, and all shes guilty of is fighting back when she was being physically attacked. to make it worse depps fans have been attacking anyone (i guarentee you ill get more depp anons after this) who disagrees with the notion that depp is an abuser. his team is using unjust tactics like withess intimidation, to sway things to their side. as a victim of abuse i feel really passionately and horrifed by what i am seeing so thats why i post so much about it.
overall people just want another gabby petito. a pretty thin young dead white woman, because if youre anything else than the world doesnt see you as the victim.
sources:
https://youtu.be/Ec7o2uJeFDE
https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2022/05/modern-celebrity-fandom-johnny-depp-amber-heard-trial/629887/
blogs that im following regarding this case:
@justiceamberheard @valkyriesexual @bisexualbonnet
you can also check out my "depp heard case /" tag which has everything ive rbd so far. just make sure youre on my blog and click the tag below this post to get there.
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Text
Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz
Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):
(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin​ for translating the German captions I got)
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originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper
Responses:
(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”
me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson
Introducing the polycule to the parents
*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?
Ma Signor !
Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.
the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay
the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized
chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)
That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest
A Good Friday night
good omens (2019)
["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????
Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating
Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.
I love my bird wife
Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance
throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child
When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature
angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)
draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show
What have I gotten myself into
Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who
A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.
A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby
There are three types of people on Halloween:
Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...
oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!
gay brunch
Three little maids from school are we
guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back
those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.
Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility
When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers
"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."
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originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini
Responses:
“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1
"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"
what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?
Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch
man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest
when you end up third wheeling the straight couple
lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney
A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk
Idk Shakespeare?
experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins
Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting
Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune
I never asked for this
Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear
voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease
Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!
lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?
human trafficking
And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!
Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress
A couple tortures a man in a box.
It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept
Taking eavesdropping to the next level
Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out? SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST— 
overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse 
Does he know we can see him?
dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle 
the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can 
Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear 
Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us
"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"
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originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal
Responses:
“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”
horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.
definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on
King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set
king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk
Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession
man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse
That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive
Who the fuck put a horse on the stage
isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse
Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest
Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.
Night out with the lads
Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom
gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz
Well at least I LOOK badass
ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)
some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake
It’s just a model
Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?
Someone rides a horse statue in public.
Just a normal party with the bros.
what is this, some kind of crossover episode? 
Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion 
Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home: 
All hail Incitatus the king 
we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts 
oh god is that hamilton 
Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven 
Gay <3
Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*
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originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio
Responses:
That One kid in class
its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*
*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest
Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done
left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown
the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep
lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)
It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.
That was a fake horse in the last photo right?
child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time
dissociation solves everything
I can't believe it's not butter
Honey we talked about this
My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural
child has nightmare of boring job
When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night
just an average day in a hetero marriage
what do i do my wife's having period cramps again
Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!
“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”
Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.
When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!
Do you realize how effed you are?
Ugh, not this lecture again! Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again 
asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way 
Will he shut up already!
no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj 
this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway) 
Me internally vs externally 
Daddy issues
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originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members
Responses:
It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein
why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on
I hate this itchy hat
Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours
people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank
pov: you’re a time traveler
guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos
No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind
Is this from Harry Potter?
disneyland main street usa workers on strike
local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.
"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"
“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)
dc movie filter on bridgerton
america?
looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again
Who still wears page boy hats bro?
Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That
Bitches are relieved at some party.
Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions
How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest
“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance” 
It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit 
?
when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different 
pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up 
Starting the pledge of allegiance be like 
He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck
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originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein
Responses:
“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical
eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
woooooorrrrd
Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.
what my professors think they look like
Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders
'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)
Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that
I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera
ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.
"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"
"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"
Graduation speakers are out, singers are in
Senior year takes a new meaninbg
mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women
Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like
younger boris johnson (derogatory)
jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking
What a fine graduation evening we’re having today
-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag
A man with a college hat sings.
An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody
How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years
East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-
I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!
I finally got my GED!
that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated
he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk
Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times
Smrt
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originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)
Responses:
There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming
jinkies
femme fatale (including to herself)
I’ll have a threesome soon !
Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.
thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex
When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again
jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!
The throuple is thriving
Get off the milf
orgy
my last three braincells because im a horny slut
countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react
Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia
Woman's soul leaves body
Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex
bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples
When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy
Jesus cumming
one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk
What have I done
Hozier??????????
Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.
This time, the chick IS the magnet
An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)
What do you mean they canceled GLOW?
“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”
Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.
It's not what it looks like!
jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.
jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch
I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!
Shrek 5, jesus's return
c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)
just about all of these are close lol
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originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc
Responses:
Don’t look, I’m still pooping
yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me
*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest
Cospeto!
„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“
when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up
When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me
right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao
Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”
Yeah I got nothing
gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway
me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)
"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"
"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"
I have the best idea!
Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy
lesbian is bothered by dilf
Me trying to flirt
if call me by your name was hetero and set in america
how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode
So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.
What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??
Two people flirt in a poor place of town/
"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"
You look like ur gonna kill me but ok
Really? You again?
Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.
Have you seen Godot?
she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.
idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS
200% done with your crap 
Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves
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originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me
Responses:
The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy
dear god its hiddeous
Capitalism
Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.
ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet
„Stop! He feels bullied!“
'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'
That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest
Omg I love the adventure zone!
minesweeper (windows xp)
"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"
Taking down the trash way too late
IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM
Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy
Star Wars 2030
“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “
futuristic kkk
long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire
Put it down put it down put it down
“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”
A weird ass crown is presented
The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong
How it feels to want something that u cant have
AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY
I know it's risky but... lube me up
?
use the force luke.
that is a weird fleshlight
When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it
Touch the orb
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originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar
Responses:
When no one comes to your birthday party :(
fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot
i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with
Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).
the last supper afterparty after jesus left
When you order the last supper on wish
espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag
Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table
Now THIS is a Good Friday night
this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11
that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her
After the last supper
Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour
When the cishets aren’t home
waiter hides from customers
Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:
what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with
university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong
I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES
Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv
Someone hids under a table
"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"
5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:
They never invite me to their parties!
Just another girl’s night in
Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.
dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)
just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)
Just a normal day with the boys
Thievery
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originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde
Responses:
Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?
holy disco
Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.
catholicism
me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)
jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him
Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk
Lord of the rings?
ewww christianity gross
"behold, I am Important"
"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"
Jesus at the Disco
Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem
disco is heaven
Want to join my new religion?
the kkk
church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream
Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...
“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”
A party is held with a priest in the middle
"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"
The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!
You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”
Jesus visits Hogwarts
I must really stink if no one will even come close to me
the extra ass funeral i DESERVE
star wars life day
A cult at it’s best-- closest
Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess
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originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida
Responses:
When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot
loyalist of subjects
bow before your queen
They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.
somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral
Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server
mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest
That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit
I can’t even tell what’s going on here
8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school
let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)
"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"
Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills
White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)
dead man gives speech at his own funeral
brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing
high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene
Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog
Black-dressed bitches worship a man.
Worst school assembly of all time
POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"
When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert
That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong
?
theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal
oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,
A funeral, stop wearing so much black
I want to slap their bald heads like rice
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originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo
Responses:
Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”
if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea
it was the best of times, it was the worst of times
Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.
priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-
when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft
lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking
Again. Too many black costumes
Loved this Dostoevsky novel
i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl
me on parties lol
"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"
"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"
Everyone act normal!
The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk
man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover
boys ???? night
the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest
He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before
Something happens in a room.
Perks of being a wallflower
There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna
Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...
The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene
Quick!
the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate
the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away
...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission
Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle
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amphii-writes · 4 years
Text
Random Haikyuu Head Canons I Have
these are all taken from my discord server cause i remember to write them there, if you want to request fanfics, my requests are W I D E open! there is also nO order! these are just all the headcanons i could find tbh
warnings: mentions of blood, and just overall wild times, swearing
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Asahi loves knitting sweaters because his shoulders are broad and he also loves seeing the reactions from his teammates when they get a sweater from him! He says he buys them but he doesn’t
Aone likes knitting socks because he has big feet and he loves fluffy knee high socks but his team will never know
Asahi and Aone regularly hang out and knit together! (after asahi wasnt scared of him anyways)
Nishinoya gives you shiny rocks he finds because “your eyes shine like them!”
Yamaguchi likes to have your head rest on his chest while cuddling!
Aone likes to bake
Aone dressed like a polar bear because koganegawa told him to- halloween was amazing
daICHI HAS A KISS THE COOK APRON
Daichi secretly can make some kick ass steak and is amazing at grilling sorry
Okay but real talk, Kenma and Yaku swear like sailors and it scares everyone because they always whisper the most foul, insulting things under their breath. Hearing it is like seeing a cryptid
Speaking of cryptids, Fukunaga and Shibayama are THE most true crime, mythology, and mystery obsessed fanatics on the team and often fanboy about it together 
Fukunaga’s obsession with moth man has gotten to an unhealthy stage
Kenma absolutely had a vampire phase and has read twilight. Only Kuroo knows and has sworn to secrecy via blood pact
Kuroo’s a musical nerd. Knows all of the lyrics to Hamilton, BMC, DEH, Heathers, Rent, Beetlejuice, Etc. Kenma considered dropping him because of it
Iwaizumi tells the worst dad jokes and Kyotani, wanting to beat him, started doing it too and it drives everyone insane
Yahaba and Matsukawa get along surprisingly well. Both are true crime freaks and bond over their forensic files obsessions
Matsukawa didn’t really like his thick eyebrows so he got one of his female friends to pluck it for him, but almost cried and gave up after the first hair. Oikawa called him a pussy for the next year
Hanamaki jokingly flirts with everyone on the team so most of them just got used to it, but it still confuses Kindaichi to the point of mental breakdown
Makki called Kyotani ‘puppy’ as a joke once and now mad dog is truly terrified of him
Kyotani’s dog absolutely ADORES Oikawa and it’s the funniest shit to the rest of the team
Mattsun and Makki play DnD and once convinced Yahaba and Kyotani to join. Kyotani kept rolling to fight everyone and Yahaba was a bard that kept rolling to seduce everyone. They kept yelling across the board so they had to kick them out
Outside of his school uniform, Goshiki specifically wears only plaid
Tendou makes little chocolates for the whole team every once in a while so they don’t think he’s scary
Semi and Shirabu once had a fistfight in an abandoned McDonald’s parking lot while Tendou filmed and Goshiki cheered them on
Everybody makes fun of Shirabu’s haircut but nobody dares to say it to his face. its gotten to the point where they say he got it done by a blind old lady
There’s a running joke about Shirabu also getting his haircut from prison but Goshiki is starting to suspect that it may not be a joke
Yamagata and Tendou are good friends with the mutual goal of collecting as much blackmail on their team as possible
Tendou loves animals generally considered to be ‘ugly’ like rats, crows, reptiles, etc.
80% of Goshiki’s playlist is shit overplayed on the radio. Him, Shirabu, Tendou, Kawanishi and Ushijima have a permanent ban from the aux cord
Nobody watches YouTube with Ushijima because he never skips the damn ads (other than tendou)
Suna once said y’all’dn’t’ve unironically and made a first year cry
Akagi once said UwU unironically and had an identity crisis.
Osamu has one of those rainbow gaming keyboards and is constantly on a discord call. Atsumu always yells weird shit in the background to embarrass him and once pretended to be him
During Seijoh group chat arguments. Hanamaki and Mattsukawa like to drop facebook minion memes in just to piss everyone off even more
mattsun and maki both have separate photo albums in their phones labelled ‘minion memes to piss everyone off’
Hinata carries a pocket knife and no one has no fucking idea why
mattsun and maki both have matching rat fursuits that look like they actually where in a sewer- they chased oikawa around
For all his talk of plant analogies and metaphors, Ushijima cant grow shit
Goshiki’s Bangs are the way they are because his favorite character was Rock Lee from Naruto
Oikawa has watched Ouran High School Host Club front to back so many times and he can quote all of Tamaki’s lines by heart -He keeps bothering Iwaizumi to “be his Haruhi, since you’re shorter than me”
Koganegawa has definitely gone as an Angry Bird for Halloween
Fukunaga has those reflective cat eyes, and he has terrified Yamamoto on several occasion
Hanamaki and Matsukawa have a teddy bear that they pretend is their child and they share custody
Suga always sprays whipped cream straight into his mouth whenever he sees a can
Nishinoya definitely bit people as a kid
Nishinoya would be the guy to wear shorts all year round and even if it's snowing, he'll insist he's not cold
Tendou is still stuck in his emo phase and would fangirl over Creepypasta with me and I appreciate that (me too buddy, me fuckin too)
Kyoutani LOOKS like he’d listen to viking death metal, but in reality he listens to Mother Mother and knows all the words to Ghosting
Sugawara would definitely encourage me to dumb shit and not stop me, and you’re all dumb for thinking he wouldn’t 
KENMA IS NOT ‘uwu owo’ SHY, HE IS ‘your fucking gross’ SHY SO LITERALLY STFU
Bokuto listens to Nicki Manaj. And knows all the words. To every. Single. Song.
Ushijima for some reason knows an odd amount of 90′s-2000′s R&B and he will hum along to the songs if they come on the radio (he also loves Dolly Parton) ((he says he relates to her music))
Bokuto once ate instant ramen for an entire month
TERUSHIMA DID TRY TO FUCK A PLANT WHILE SHITFACED AND GOD I STAND BY WHAT I SAID
atsumu let’s you put makeup on him and pretends to eat the brushes (do yk what im talking about- like n o m)
tendou ran for school president as a joke but actually won
i 100% believe that all of karasuno’s third years apologize when they bump into inanimate objects, but when suga is really tired or stressed out, he’ll yell at them instead.
Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Taketora have a group chat called "Bros who want sum hoes" and they send each other hypebeast memes and shit
Sugawara knows how to do a bunch of flexible shit because he sometimes goes to yoga with daichi and asahi's moms, its fucking hilarious
tanaka and noya both breakdance- they work as a team and sometimes go to tokyo for underground competitions- saeko drives them
Daichi knows a little ballet- nobody other than Kiyoko knows because they saw each other at the ballet class and had to work together- dont tell tanaka and noya that he lifted her though
Osamu once put glitter on Atsumu's pillow- he still finds hot pink glitter on shit
kita knits and crochets with his grandma
Kita's grandma knows everyone's names because kita talks shit bout them, her favorite is Aran
Kuroo has burnt his eyebrows off doing an experiment. His goggles didn't cover all his brows,,, so he just showed up to practice like that. No eyebrows and a chemical burn
kenma has played all kinds of games, but he was dared to play corpse party by kuroo. He wasn't scared because of the gore, he was thinking about the trauma the characters went through. Punched kuroo the next day because that game was fucked up
Lev isn't a strong swimmer, so he often grabs people by the head to keep himself up. happened with kenma and lev couldn't walk due to the force of kenmas suprised water kicks
akaashi has those fancy pens that you have to dip in ink and they're so nice
Bokuto has and will eat pencil erasers again
Daichi once almost lost his shit at his team but instead he lost his shit at the door that decided to stub his toe on the way out of the gym. not the best thing to be found yelling to.
Yamaguchi for sure has been dragged to one of terushimas parties because he didnt wanna say no. oh and terushima has like frat boy level parties too. Yams has for sure had some wild nights and doubts anyone other than Tsukishima and the party-goers will ever know
Akaashi can actually flirt very well! He reads romance novels sometimes and has analyzed any and every book in his possession! so he's actually quite charming
Daihsou unironically posted on twitter after mika broke up with him "I still see her shadows in my room"
Mattsun and Maki run a fake oikawa account; its been going ever since twitter even started getting popular and they even started sending messages in spanish. The posts would range from "I love all my fans!" to flirting with them :) Oikawa is pissed cause the account got verified before he did and most of his fans also follow the fake oikawa. Tooru has no idea who runs it JUST IMAGINE OIKAWA JUST LIKE RANTING TO THE SEIJOH 3RD YEAR ALUMNI AND JUST "no Iwa-chan, you dont understand! they run a fake account and pretend to be me!" while makki and mattsun laugh their asses off
Oh, kenma for sure has pretended to be a girl on discord and has gotten someone to buy him stuff. after they do he says in his normal voice "fucking simp" and then hangs up and blocks the other persons discord
Yamamoto, despite his rough appearance, loves kids and has and will be a human jungle gym
suna in middle school had a game with his friends about who could make kids cry the fastest
The twins switched places back in middle school and nobody could tell because of how great they are at acting like eachother
Daichi once arrested coach ukai for public intoxication after a game :|
Daichi has arrested many people from his old volleyball team but the most memorable case was when he arrested tanaka and noya for reckless driving. poor idiots got so scared when they saw their old captains face in their mirror and started to pray
tanaka, while trying to intimidate someone, once said "You dont gotta tell me twice, i may be straight but these hands are bisexual" and he often cringes at night thinking about it
Kageyama, as a comeback to Tsukishima, said "one thing about us royalty is that we love to feast" and he also fuckin hates what he said
the third years made a cult for Kiyoko. they chant every wednesday "i'll do anything for kiyoko, she makes me go loco"
oikawas fangirls are known to be fucking rabid
yAMAMOTO AND KENMA AFTER THEIR FIGHT WERE FORCED BY KUROO TO MAKE IT UP: so they dyed their hair together
Makki and mattsun sang two trucks in front of the entire team. everyone was so confused. Makki: "twO TRUCKS HAVIN SEX!!" Mattsun: "oH yEs!"THEY'D SWITCH OFF AND HAVE LIKE CHOREOGRAPHY TOO LIKE THEY'D DO A TANGO WHILE THE SONG IS LIKE "two beer trucks, making love"
tendou once called Oikawa "mr. no-nationals" and got kicked in the shins before iwaizumi could save him
Tsukishima had a my little pony phase
you work with matsukawa at a morgue and he makes dead people jokes while you fix some dead guys face with wax and makeup he'd be like "so didnt he like,,, stick his head out of the sunroof of a moving fuckin car??" he'd be singing dumb ways to die the entire day
i feel like Kuroo has one crazy accident a year. like it might not be deadly but its fucking crazy like for example: Kuroo for sure has ridden in a shopping cart at past midnight with kenma (who pushed him down a hill) causing Kuroo to get scratched up hella well. he lied and said he spent the night with a girl and kenma fucking hated himself cause he would be the girl if that was true
Mattsun has flirted with the 4th years moms before (AS A JOKE), and because of this: he is known as “fuckin milf hunter” sometimes by the team
Warning, this next headcanon is talking about cannabis, weed, mary jane, the zoink root. so if your uncomfortable, please dont read below :)
dude i wanna get high as SHIT with Asahi 
i think Asahi would be one of those mfkers who takes one hit and is gone 
ASAHI ACCIDENTALLY GOING TO PRACTICE ZOINKED 
IMAGINE HIM SEEING TSUKISHIMA AND JUST "he looks so judgemental,,, im scared" 
OR LIKE A MAD DAICHI AND JUST "i'm gonna,,, im gonna go jump out the window now" 
Noya and Tanaka would know tho, i feel like they'd have a 6th sense when it comes to weed. they probably get some from Saeko cause she'd rather they do it in the house. they'd smell asahi like fucking dogs and just so,,, big guy had fun without us huh? 
DAICHI WOULD KNOW ABOUT ASAHI BEING ZOINKED, SMASH HIS FACE INTO THE WALL, TURN AROUND WITH A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD AND WITH A BEAMING SMILE AND FEUX ENTHUSIASM SAY: "YOSH, LETS WARM UP!"
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fallingsunflower · 3 years
Text
BESTIES I'm so sorry - I hit my post limit waaaay earlier than expected! Some of y'all joined me on my backup account, (which I also hit the limit on lmao), but I'm back now.
I had over 400 asks to go through and I'll give you a warning that not all of them will appear (either because they were old or because they were topics we already answered). But here is a giant list of asks I compiled for you from when I wasn't allowed to post lol they don't really require my response but I found them entertaining to read. Hope you don't mind I've just put them all together in one post. It's also to save me from using up my 250 posts lol
"this is all so embarrassing like my god imagine when the promotion of the movie starts how horrible it will be for other people who made the movie too"
"SELL UR TICKETS TODAY WATCH THE MOVIE ILLEGALLY, next article we’ll be talking about these two assholes filing for bankruptcy. cheap harlots. don’t mess with your meal ticket."
"hate to say it but i defs think they‘ve got a sliver of the gp’s attention for five minutes"
"I am scanning through all these photos looking for just ONE where he looks like he's smiling and enjoying this. It's so crazy."
"I guess those are all the pics we’re getting right now. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they finish the Italy trip off with one more major Backgrid photo shoot."
"Olivia’s trending on Twitter but not Harry. Like it’s obvious who’s getting the PR gains here!"
"If they dont give us a 6 month or more break after this im gonna need them to pay for my therapy bills from now on bc of this damage no joke let me crawl back into my shit hole now 😑"
"The palce they at is referred to as “tuscanys best-kept secret”. Everyone point and laugh."
"she looks like she’s enjoying all of this. he looks like he wants to push her into the water."
"a few people said he’s keeping his shorts pulled up or covered in all the shots because of the Nike branding which they ask to not get photographed. What a setup."
"Man I knew the second those Tomdaya pics came out of them kissing and how they were trending so fast that HO were going to do something to 'top' them. Its pathetic /// FRRR. she probably hoped for the positive reactions that people gave tom & zendaya but unfortunately, miss girl got the opposite. when will they realize that nobody, but his fans, find them cute lmao can they just stop, it’s so embarrassing 😭😭😭"
"He really out here doing this with someone who almost old enough to be his mother, shiiiiiiiit. Sickening. Sick of these 2 for real now, i was fine with the good old blurry back content and whatnot but this? Crossing a line here nobody wanna see that shit and knowing how people feel goooooood damn."
"I aboslutely despise kendall for obvious reason but this one is actually worse than the hendall one bc you couldnt really see as much as now dis gos tang."
"She’s also wearing the cross necklace again. I feel like if that was so meaningful to her she wouldn’t risk loosing it in the ocean 🙄"
"guys have eyes on tmz. I Do not have tw now. they were so aggressive towards them"
"I'm sorry for Harry because you lost your damn mind bro"
"Now why the hendall pics are better ?? NO SHADE BUTT"
"I’m genuine confused like do they actually want dwd to flop or what? I just threw up in my mouth I sure as hell ain’t gonna watch their sorry ass movie. Is it supposed to flop? I’m so confused!"
"The match was not interesting enough so they cooked up something different especially since people were pointing out how they staged the PDA. And the page 6 article is out already!!!"
"Who the fuck thought this was a good idea"
"Is it just me or does harry's face looks really blank for someone out on a Romantic date with his alleged girlfriend.?"
"if thats it, harry hasn’t no game🤣🤣🤣🤣"
"so this is why the tabloids weren’t talking about the match pics! they didn’t have any value on their own. now with the yacht pics? my oh my they’re gonna get the clicks of their lives. her team was prob like “wait a sec we got something for y’all”"
"If they were models hired to act like a couple they wouldn't get the job......"
"Not them starring right at the camera in some of them help make it less obvious will you"
"HENDALL🤣🤣🤣is that uuuu"
"Harry’s ass crack thought it should make an appearance too."
"What a great day for team PR, happy Monday you guys! Let's pop the champagne 🍾🍾🍾🍾 P. S. They both need acting lessons, tbh"
"It’s quite interesting how everything that’s happened before I’ve seen predicted weeks/and in advance on blogs or fan accounts. Like his life has always been so predictable but damn"
"He was hiding the Nike check. That’s why his swim trucks are rolled up to an absurd degree even for him. He knew he was gonna get photographed."
"What I’m noticing is wether people like them together or not, everyone’s saying they’re aren’t a hot couple…there was more chemistry in the Kendall pics by far"
"i also find it weird that he’s not smiling in any of the pictures and it would be one thing if there were five pics from ten minutes of time but there are like 70 from an obvious extended period of time"
"It's interesting everyone involved is being Team Try Hard. Yet the universe says no. The last set of pics, Tom and Zendaya overshadowed. People even paid more attention to Angelina and the Weekend (even if business possibly). Fast forward to today and all this fakery only for Gwen/Blake to tie the knot. His team needs to get a clue. She needs to go. Harry needs to clean this up fast."
"Ok i looked at one hugging pic and one kidding pic and they could not look more stagged. It looks unatural ,strange and weird from all angles. You can clearly see from their body posture they are posing for a photographer from backgrid."
"Like I said in my ask a couple days ago the day we get kissing pics is the day that I believe this is all a stunt and I was right. They took a page out of hendall 2016 and it’s looks so forced and awkward. Hendall did it better cause at prater they had chemistry. They must be scared this movie is going to tank because they are pushing this way too hard"
"Real, PR, or whatever relationship it is, they’re fucking boring. You are on a yacht in Italy, can’t you have a little bit of fun? I can’t believe how boring they are, I just can’t. Even if it is just PR, can’t you make a fucking dumb joke so you can laugh or something? Do they have anything in common like to talk about or discuss or make fun of? I’d literally killed myself if I looked like that in a relationship. They are not communicating in any photos we’ve got. They are just walking, or sitting. Even when they hold hands or kiss or hug, they never communicate."
"okay but did ya’ll see the pic of her diving in?? i can’t stop laughing 😭😭😭😭"
"they look horrifically awkward i cannot believe what harry is doing"
"“HEY PAPS COME GET A PIC OF US KISSING TO MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP MORE BELIEVABLE!!!!!”"
"his ass is hanging out and her bra is almost off what in the hell"
"Hqs on a yacht like that? Mhmhmhm hmmmmm / I bloody well hope that’s not the extend of their acting. That’s dire! 🤦‍♀️"
"this is literally the most predictable “couple” to exist. first, people talked about them showing up the game, and they did. second, people were just talking about kissing pics... AND THEY JUST CAME OUT LMAOOOOOO"
"annnnnnnnnnnnnd there it is. YOU KNOW THEY KNEW THERE WAS A CAMERA."
"ok but where’s the pda or did that get made up? cause these have to be the most awkward pics i’ve ever seen which makes me feel better 😂 also i can feel the meme’s coming with the one of her diving off the boat"
"I call it how I see it they are both assholes and full of shit. Like do your fake kiss somewhere else I do not want to see it!"
"Can they at least act like they’re having a good time?"
"hahahaha I can't stop laughing with that photo of O it's literally her knowing she's being photographed and diving into a professional swimmer style😭"
"the pics are so organic that Olivia is looking straight at the pap before kissing Harry."
"he looked a lot happier with kendall in their yacht pics compared to today’s. i know that was PR too, but he was very smiley and seemed talkative. with this girl it’s like the complete opposite lmao."
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history of gacha for some reason
If you've ever before this point thought that maybe i wasn't a total loser, then I'm about to change that! i was doing my eternal routine of mindlessly cycling through my various smartphone games and now that i'm slowly starting to get tired of my 50th or something mobage, i started thinking just how many gacha games i've played and been playing... and also how many unfortuate impulse purchases i made -_-
the simple truth is that i like collecting things. i like seeing numbers go up. I like having spaces filled in. and I am often bored and lacking in motivation to do other things these days, so i’m like the natural sucker for all these. But which ‘these’ exactly?! Let’s start from the beginning, or at least as far back as i can remember....
fate grand order
im pretty sure it started in 2017 when just about everyone i came across in the cirlce of my tumblr rping days was into fgo. I only had a very vague knowledge of fate stuff beforehand, but i saw posts and memes about it every day, so i figure i might as well try it out for the heck of it. Now I could actually understand the unfunny memes!
I distinctly remember it was the ‘prison tower’ event featuring the count of monte cristo (the guy who looks like komaeda) where I started getting actually invested in the story, and i remained invested until i just finally drifted away from it sometime in early 2020.
my fav character is probably still florence nightingale but even back then, i was already weirded out by the whole concept considering the actual person in history still has living descendents!!
how much...: I only remember buying like one instance of gacha currency for ‘comfort’ sake, under some terrible logic that this is the amount i’m paying to ‘buy’ the game if it was like a normal game. It was to roll for medb who i didn’t get. I think it was 20 or 30 dollars?? bad but far from the worst it’ll get..
bandori
I don‘t remember who, if anybody else i knew was playing it which got me into it, but I started playing the global version i think not too longer after it started up in 2018.
It was fun and i like just about every one of the initial 25 characters! (I dont think i can muster much affection for Eve though...) Playing this game every day for nearly a year or so, i got a preeeetty good at consistently Full Comboing songs on Hard n_n  Misaki/Michelle remains at my number 2, even though harohapi is probably my least fav of the bands over all... (Actually that’d be Morfonica because I don’t know anything about them!)
But yeah, i sorta just naturally drifted off the game at some point. I realised i might as well stopped when i was no longer paying attention to the event story. That said, I am actually just waiting for Raise a sullen to be added to the global version and that will be when i poke back in. Chu2 might actually be my fav?
how much...: I remember buying more than one booster pack for some coloured materials I was lacking in. Also like 20 or 30 dollars? Are all these prices just generalised across all mobages?!
girls frontline
oh ths was a big one.... So after hearing about it from a few friends, i tried it the global version out of curiosity as soon as it released in 2018. I would have liked to just try the original chinese version but......... i was and still am illiterate in my own mother tongue u_u;;; Moving on...
i played this game every day until like, god, I think until just the beginning of this year?! And i still like reinstalled and logged back in on a whim every now and then.
There is a lot of story and cutscenes in this game, and i’ consumed maybe like 50% of it, and of that I must’ve only actually paid attention to 70% of it. Yet this post here showed that there was plenty that stuck with me... for life, for better or worse!! Also there were some days where I came really, really close to buying a figure of ump45 n_n;
one of the reasons i eventually stopped other than just naturally feeling like moving on, is the fact that the gameplay itself just got too stupidly demanding for me. Like i had like dozens upon dozens of max lv dolls and i had hit most of the caps in all abilities a long time ago, yet the game’s content kept throwing bigger and bigger damager numbers and every single new thing to fight was suuuuch a pain.
how much...: Okay this is extra embarrassing compared to others because the only gacha in this game exists soley for costumes for the t-dolls. And. Sometimes. I really wanted those costumes ._. If I had to guess or estimate how much i spent in total across the two or so years i played this game... probably over a hundred dollars? That’s if i’m being really generous to myself...
cookie run overbreak
It was October 2019, when someone I knew was asking people to click on this link to play cookie run, part of one of those ‘invite friends to get prizes’ things, and I clicked it and started playing the cute little game where you make cookie people run and jump. My first epic was Whipped Cream Cookie, as it happens!
i actually don’t think i played the game for that long then though, maybe only for a few months before i decided to uninstall. But then, on january of this year, i jumped back into it on a whim, and i’ve been playing every day (and only now am i finally, slowlly beginning to feel like i can/should put it down again...!!!)
every few weeks, there’s a new super wonderful design that I just Gotta see run and jump and squeak. They’re soooo good and im not even joking when i say touhou has gotta start ripping off designs from this game immediately!!
Lotus Dragon Cookie and Hydrangea Cookie are probably my favs and the entire lotus paradise story is like striaght out of a classic chinese movie (not that i’ve watched more than a handful of those...). also dark enchantress and pomegranate are just cookie eiteru which is also why i love them.
how much...: there have been multiple instances across the year where a thing will pop up and be like “spend 6.99 for this thing, now!!!” and i’ll just be like ‘well, alright...’ and like it seems like a small amount, but i’m afraid of thinking about how much it adds up...
cookie run kingdom
started playing as soon as it came out, also some time in january of this year. I dropped off after about a month, and then came back like two months ago? I’m still playing it and logging in everyday, but that’s despite the fact that I think the actual gameplay is Miserable. It sucks, i don’t like it, yet i do it!!
I used to think girls frontline could have a real slog of gameplay sometimes, but crkingdom’s progression is so, so, utterly glacial and there’s soooo much micromanagement. You have to click on a million different things just upon logging in or else you’re wasting time and/or resources. And you need to do all these things because it takes a billion years to level up a cookie, and the story content keeps getting harder and requiring bigger numbers. and yet, im still at it at the moment because gambler’s fallacy i guess!?
anyhow, cookies have voice acting in this game and also the story is a lot more elaborate as befitting of an ‘epic rpg’ kind of game. I actually do really like a lot of the plot and lore elements [which I have to watch on youtube because it’d take me years to see it myself in the game >_>] and also sonic the hedgehog is in this game!!
how much...: i think i spent like six dollars once really early on for some small boost, but it did not help in the long run. the prices for things are utterly absrud, and i knew no matter how much i spent, i would just very soon hit another wall where i’d be unable to progress without another week or so of micomanaging..
project sekai / d4dj
putting these together because my experience with both are similarly short-lived. I was falling out of bandori so i just on a whim decided to try these really similarly structured game. Project Sekai is only in japanese so i obviously couldn’t really get into the story much. Whereas d4dj... i would have really gotten into it, especially Merm4id’s story,  but at the time i think i was just handling too much on my plate. Every time i played the usual day’s worth of daily prizes, i had my ‘fill’ and stopped instead of watching any of the story i wanted to be watching. So i guess it was just a matter of timing that i didn’t get into either very much.
that bleach gacha
it think its called brave souls? I played it earler this year on a complete whim and logged in every day for about a month before i was like ‘yeah alright this was fun for while, time to move on’. I realy don’t have much to say about it. I got like three different yoruichis, but i arbitrarily decided that the ones to make up my best team were senna (wind girl from movie 1), ying and yang (rando fire and ice henchman from movie 2), and shuren (fire guy from movie 4).
how much...: I didn’t intend to spend any money, but i was just browsing the shop to see whats its like, and i was eating breakfast with my other hand and like, half-paying attention, so i ended up accidentally buying some orbs or something for five dollars :l
rockman x dive
embarrassing to say but i found this specifically because i was looking for more smartphone games to replace the ones i was falling out of, and i just happened to see it on my appstore in either march or april of this year.
I like rockman! And as you’ve seen, i guess I like these kind of mobages, so... a good match??? Anyway, the gameplay itself is an awkward-to-control platformer and you roll the gacha for a bunch of weapons and more importantly all your favourite(or really random and niche) characters from the mega man franchise. my go-to for a very long time is Servbot n_n .
I thought i was i finally getting tired of it, but after deciding to spend all my saved-up currency at once a little while ago, i now have like a bunch of shiny new interchangable units to play with so uh, i guess i’ll be sticking with it for a little longer.
how much...: bought one booster for what i think (i hope) was less than 10 dollars? It didn’t mean much in the long run though! Progression in this game is so slow but after crkingdom, i can tolerate it...
touhou lost word
(aurgh......) its fgo but touhou! so. the thing is... you’ve noticed by now its pretty easy for me to just get sucked into the routine of these games and the basic appeal of collecitng pngs that say lines at you when you tap them. you add in touhou and it becomes tailor-made to trap me. the gameplay is all secondary to the above.
i could speak about some of the good points of it or the story, like the occasional neat idea or funny line, but there’s no point, honestly... this game is first and foremost a very easy device for instant satisfiaction for me, and all that is why I glance past the fact that every other character design has their clothes vacuum sealed to their balloon breasts!! i wince every time patchouli or sanae come on screen (and can only despair when komachi shows up).
i like literally every touhou so i get ansty at literally every banner. only mercy is that LW’s most insidious money-grabbing banners come from these super duper exclusive Ultra Fes units which are alternate versions of existing characters, but i have no problem ignoring these because I don’t care. ...Unfortunately, i care too much when a rando like Nemuno suddenly gets included.
anyhow, i started playing the original jp game when it released, and just mindlessly went at it for like half a year before dropping off. Then the global version released five or so months ago, and i started all over again but this time able to read the words!!! i log in way too many times a day because i need the distraction from the growing void in my heart and mind...
how much...: the prices on things is even more absurd than in crkingdom. that said, and understand... for the last few weeks/months, i’ve at been quite a low point for various reasons i won’t get into here. but the point is, collecting talking pngs of touhous has been a very easy form of stimulation and distraction for me, and so in the midst of my mind-numbing clicking routine and desire to just hurry and get the next new talking png I want, i just say ‘f*** it’ and click the buy currency button. Just know that i felt bad before doing it, and felt bad immediately afterwards. There was literallly not a single millisecond where I ever think it’s worth it, but i didn’t care ._. (I disabled the google playstore function in my phone after the worst of these instances. will it last...?)
touhou danmaku kagura
its bandori but touhou! I mean, basically the same as my experience with project sekai and d4dj, except i’m still playing it as of now. I log in, click some things, have fun playing songs sometimes. my preferred difficult is extra B)
The cards you gacha roll for are all done by different artists, so there’s a large variety of art, ranging from cool and magnificent (i love the azmaya one of aya I have on my home screen the most) to utterly vomit-inducing (so there’s this one, with cirno.....) So. quite the range of experiences, much like whenever i browse touhou art on twitter and pixiv.
also i like watching the cutscenes that come from increasing ‘bond points’ between characters even though i can’t understand them most of the time.... Pretty sure that’s just my usual touhou experience though.
how much? none!: After the horror story above with LW, I don’t plan on spending a single cent on this game! Or any other mobage ever again!!!
some other random ones i remember playing for a brief time:
pokemon mastersex, touhou cannonball, dx2 smt liberation, touhou dungeon dive or something, kamen rider city wars. I wanted to try love nikki too but i think i got intimidated by its mechanics. Yes, the mechnaics of a dress-up game I find initmidating.
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disaster-bay-leaf · 3 years
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Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)
4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99
I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡
uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨
4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?
hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between
and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ✨no✨)
6 - do you keep plants?
honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )
7 - do you name your plants?
yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj
9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?
oh god oh dude you have n o idea
i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time
12 - whats your favourite planet?
oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)
19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?
okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it
22 - are you a morning person?
n o
i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful
but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am
23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?
except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest
28 - sunrise or sunset?
i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock
but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose
33 - whats your fave pastry?
and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj
either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding
34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?
awwww this is cute
okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes
46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of
what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*
47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?
huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)
52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?
the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj
but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too
as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about
59 - whats your favourite myth?
i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks
but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example
60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?
o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius
some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it
63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?
okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again
66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?
either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition
or something purple (maybe not belladonna)
83 - whats some of your favourite album art?
god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that
“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too
also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say
and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)
87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?
this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):
- the princess bride
- inception
- night at the museum
- SPIRITED AWAY
- forrest gump
- truman show
- E.T. (i cried okay)
- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)
- parasite
and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good
93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?
honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short
also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form
99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them
this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:
- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)
- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)
- tears and rain by james blunt
- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie
- almost home by mxmtoon
- anything by hozier really but shrike especially
- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)
- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)
- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers
- autoclave by the mountain goats
oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)
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jimmymcgools · 4 years
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If you're still up for the writing ask meme: the part in chapt 13 where Kim decides to take the phone call in *another* direction (like, WHY does she decide to do that?)
(thank you for letting me ignore this for a full week as i worked on chapter 4 of slip and fall season instead ♥️)
but yes i will do this forever!!! if anyone else has scenes they’d still like to hear my thoughts on 🙏hmu
fic commentary meme and my answers 
the boring doylist answer to your question is: because considering the 1x03 call i figured if i was gonna write mailroom mcwexler i’d be letting myself & everyone else down if i didn’t include a phone sex scene!
and “hold tight to the ropes” really hooked me on the idea of jimmy calling from cicero. so huge credit to that wonderful fic, i mention it in the chapter notes because i stole (and hopefully remixed?) so much of that set up. 
A click. “Hello?” “Hey,” Jimmy says. “Happy Thanksgiving.”  this made me think of mulder and scully when i wrote it and i thought of them reading it over again now. 
“A Thanksgiving classic,” Kim says dryly. “No Way Out.” Jimmy grins. “Nice. Costner at his best.” one of those movie picks where hopefully kim’s joke works just based on the title. jimmy’s dialogue could read ironic, but i do think this is one of costner’s best roles. 
Jimmy chuckles. “We played Monopoly.” mcgill bros monopoly! writing this chapter i learned that you’re supposed to auction off properties if you don’t choose to buy them when you land on them, apparently. #research  💀that’s right i researched monopoly “10 most common arguments people have over a game of Monopoly according to Hasbro” guess i should’ve credited more in my chapter notes huh
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A scrap of paper reading That Hamilton Woman rests beneath the plastic but above the original cover for The Boys from Brazil. ruth mcgill playing favourites with laurence olivier movies
“Yeah,” Kim says. “Yeah, sometimes it would snow.” i think i looked this up as well and it only snows like one in 20 thanksgivings but, uh. fanfic.  
Flat white fields dotted with fence posts, like ellipses on a page, drifting into the distance i really like using “this thing looks like writing on a page” type metaphors for kim, but also the idea of endless ellipses seemed pretty perfect for red cloud. 
A little blue dot in the endless fields of white. He exhales. “Kim?” a strange thought process for jimmy here, but he gets to white sands from it somehow. it helps that kim had made the comparison herself, too, while they were at white sands. that it reminded her of winters back home. 
“Can we go back to White Sands?” he asks. i think/hope you can tell from the convo, but jimmy’s not asking for phone sex, he’s more asking for a return to that openness/vulnerability/intimacy. they’ve had a nice conversation so far, but it’s kind of the conversation two friends might have -- “yeah, family. we fought over monopoly. how are you?” -- and he wants more. 
A beat. “What, tonight? That might be pretty tricky.” kimberly #deflection wexler
“But scared of what I might do next. Scared to get too close, maybe.” i wanted there to be this real wariness in the family around jimmy at this point in his life. i didn’t have much to work with for the acb ruth relationship, other than knowing she had nobody by her deathbed but chuck and jimmy, and that she was still up in cicero/berwyn.  i liked the idea that, as much as ruth loves jimmy, in 1992 she’s starting to close herself off from him in that way mothers can do -- she pretends everything is good, she has innocent conversations about movies, she tells him she loves him. to protect/spare him? to protect the purity of the relationship so that she has an outlet where she can pretend nothing’s wrong for a while? i’m not sure. i don’t think it’s good for them. 
It’s like he can hear the connection between them, the long strands of copper wire humming over the country. little reference to chapter 5 when they’re watching born yesterday: “But this is as precious and as fragile to him as crystal, as a string wound to its snapping point, as small human breaths down copper wire.”
“Is there anything you can do?” Kim asks finally. kim the fixer 
staring up at the vine-patterned cornice. oh great jimmy’s looking at a ceiling again 
He counts the leaves, one-two-three, but his brain keeps racing okay whew, at least i only mentioned this one because i brought it up in the white sands chapter -- “His childhood bedroom back in Cicero used to have one, too, carved with vines or flowers or something” -- because he’s staring at the cornice in the motel room while he’s wondering what else he can do with his life. 
he still feels half a step behind something, like there’s something just around the next bend, like the top of a mountain that keeps vanishing into the distance,  two road trip references for the price of one in this paragraph -- them driving up the sandias out of abq, here
And then, as if she can feel the tension and wants to break it, Kim says, “You know, we could do more than just talk.” ayyy we made it, moment of truth!! so why does kim do it, in the fun, watsonian way? 
i think it’s largely what you’ve brought up before -- like she does in breathe, and elsewhere in acb -- i think it’s kim turning to sex when the emotions get too muddy. and you put it better than me! “Kim seems to go physical instead of talking about things”. and when they’re states apart on a phone call? close enough! 
it’s also fixer kim still, right? she can tell that she hasn’t really helped at all with her responses, that jimmy’s still hurting. so here’s take 2. and maybe it’s kim following her own advice she’s just given to jimmy: “is there anything you can do?” 
and there’s that “kim and jimmy giving the other person what they think they need” thing that we’ve all talked about before. and i can’t remember the origin of it now! some interview? 
also she’s definitely hungry for it right now, too. that, like, addictive connection after she’s walled herself off for so long. and after she’s had that “i should call jimmy--oh shit i can’t. huh. hm. this is fine.” moment earlier in the day, too. 
“I’m kidding,” Kim says quietly. “Don’t leave me hanging.” and yeah, with the jimmy pov im always worried about trying to show how much kim wants jimmy, too. i hoped to give the sense that she needed the connection in this scene, too. 
“I mean, I haven’t checked the window, so Gene Hackman might be out there with an audio dish, but—yeah.”  always time for a movie reference. a bit of an ironic one -- he’s referencing the conversation, and i’m pretty sure the chuck stuff in 3x10 is inspired by the scene at the end of that movie when hackman tears up his apartment hopelessly looking for a bug.  (also jeepers, second gene hackman movie of the phone call, he’s also in no way out)
“I miss touching you.” It’s the first time he’s really spoken out loud about that physical intimacy, and something unwinds in his stomach, something that’s been coiled there a long time. oh man, spoilers for safs chapter 4 -- but interesting to reread this part of the conversation in particular when i’ve just written a chapter trying to show a really comfortable physicality between them. aw man. 
He breathes out, tipping his head back against the cold door, eyes tracing over the bare basement ceiling. there he goes there he goes again.mp3
And Kim exhales, and it sounds heavier than it did earlier. “You know, I had bruises there after last time.” starting from jimmy’s “i miss touching you” and then this from kim, i wanted to play with this shift in excitement/energy in the phone sex that comes when they both start actually opening up about the specific emotions/fallout from white sands that’s otherwise mostly gone unsaid. it drifts into more of a pure fantasy scenario after this but i always liked that honesty being a catalyst  kim: “I thought you might notice somehow.” :( 
and then it also seemed very them that they’d end up going with this HHM fantasy with discovery stakes and everything 😂they love their hypotheticals. and also i kinda got to weave in mailroom sex to the fic, almost, sneakily! 
“Thank you yourself,” she says you’re welcome seriously
i hope that wasn’t just me repeating everything we’ve already talked about back at you! 😂
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iinfortunii · 3 years
Text
rules: code of conduct.
BEGIN.
Before we start, I would like you to have certain things in mind when approaching me ooc. I am very shy and quite awkward, which results in me not being much of a talker; however, I will always try my best to be friendly to whoever wants to approach. I dislike pet names so please do not use them with me unless we are very close. There will be times when I'm just exhausted, so my wording could sound rude/aggressive, to which I apologize in advance -I never mean to hurt people’s feelings. I also reserve the right to interact with WHOEVER I want, and pestering me about it will only get you blocked.
Updates will be made as required.
I. BASIC.
A. This blog is: Selective / Independent / Canon Divergent / NSFW / Mutuals only / Singleship / Mostly iconless / Multiverse / AU, Crossover, OC, and Multimuse friendly / Vaguely affiliated with the OP RP fandom.
B. I am a very slow rper for many reasons —school, family, my ever-fluctuating mood —and I would appreciate it if you refrained from pestering me for replies. In return I offer as much patience as necessary. Think of this blog as low activity please.
C. English is not my mother language so I apologize in advance for any mistakes made.
D. I track the tag #iinfortunii, although mentioning me works just as fine.
E. Constructive criticism is always welcome but anon hate will be immediately deleted. I have no problems if you disagree with my portrayal, but it doesn't give you the right to harass me.
F. Mun and muse are both over 18, so there are chances that heavy content will be present; however I won't be writing smut. I can roleplay anything before or after the act if requested, but the moment things get far too explicit, I'll do a fade-to-black. I ask of you to not lie about your age or else you’ll be blocked indefinitely.
G. This is a heavily headcanon-based blog, and changes are likely to be made as more information is revealed about him, though I reserve the right to adjust the new information according to my interpretation of Deuce or simply ignore it, which is why I’m canon divergent.
H. If you'd like to turn an ask into a thread, you can turn it into a new post, or reblog from me, as I won't be using the Tumblr asks anymore due to the problems that come with formatting and such.
I. Ask box is open for everyone ic or ooc, but you aren't allowed to turn it into a thread and nor I will reply to it if we’re not mutuals. Please don't push me, because I won't hesitate to block.
J. No godmoding —only a minor is allowed if it moves a thread forward —or metagaming, please. Don't kill Deuce either, unless plotted beforehand, and most importantly, don't hold your muse back.
K. Discord is available for mutuals upon request.
L. Just because I write something it does not mean I condone it. Please have this in mind and again, do not pester me about it. Any and all nsfw matters will be tagged accordingly. There will be triggering topics present, and you can know more about this on the section below.
M. DO NOT involve me in drama or call-out posts. I’m heavily against both things. On this note, you’ll never see me rebloging a call-out post. This culture is so damaging and toxic, and I firmly believe no one should play the role of the judge for the good of the community just because you had issues with someone or don’t agree with the things they roleplay. Talk things privately, be mature about it, hard-block the person and move on. I am also very aware that a lot of people have done things that can’t be excused, but I like to believe that people can change for the better. If you try to drag me into it, I'll hard block any and all people involved indefinitely.
II. TRIGGERS.
A. They will be tagged as trigger tw, trigger / and trigger cw.
B. I do my best to stay up to date with my mutuals triggers. Your comfort is way more important to me than you might think, so never be hesitant to approach me via IM, (anonymous) ask or stop following me.
C. Triggers that are likely to appear, although some more than others: violence || blood || death || drugs || abuse || knives || body image || medical equipment || suggestive content || etc
D. I have no triggers, so you are free to go wild with your content. I only ask you remember to tag your nsfw (both written and visual), please.
III. INTERACTIONS.
A. Deuce won't like everyone. He might/will make wrong assumptions about your character. He will insult and bite back. He won't always be nice to those he likes. He does many things that serve his interests. You, as the mun, have no reason to take it personal, because I'm won't follow someone I don't like; if you DO take it personal however, and decide to rouse drama, then I'll be hard-blocking you. Goes for me as well —I have no reason to get angry for any of the things noted above.
B. My bonds page displays the relationships that have been built over time, not necessarily through interaction alone but over plotting as well. Refer to it for more information.
C. Interactions with OCs related to canon characters will only take place as long as said OCs have a detailed about page. Personally, I'm not interested in the idea of an OC being blood-related to my portrayal, so I apologize in advance.
D. Formatting isn’t a big thing across my blogs, save for the small text. Please don’t mix either sup/sub with small text when writing with me, as I have eyesight problems. Don’t use colored text either.
E. Non-romantic pre-established relationships are allowed! Just make sure to talk it out with me first, yeah?
01. Spade / Whitebeard pirates (canon and original characters alike that i am MUTUALS with) will have a pre-established relationship as long as the other mun is comfortable with such idea, though that relationship will be limited to merely crewmates, unless discussed otherwise.
F. You don’t need to match my writing length as long as I’m given enough to work with. If something about my reply bothers or doesn’t work with you, let me know and I’ll re-work it.
G. I really enjoy plotting scenarios or talking out about the relationships my muse could have with other muses, so hit me up if you’ve got any ideas! I’ll try to do the same!
H. Mun does not equal muse, so don’t go assuming I’m a jerk simply because Deuce is an asshole from time to time. I’m set on the idea that I’ll give people the same treatment they give me —which is always nice and kind. Kudos to everyone for this ♡
I. I don’t use a threadtracker because I rely on my memory (terrible mistake, I know), but I try to draft people’s replies as soon as I see them. If by any reason it seems like I lost it, then please let me know / send me a link with it and I’ll be deeply grateful.
J. I don’t do nor reply to greetings starters for matters of my own comfort, so I ask of you to never expect a starter or a reply from them.
IV. SHIPPING.
A. Singleship, with the spot taken by daadzi, which means Deuce is no longer open for romantic relationships.
01. Under no circumstances, I will accept more romantic relationships once the spot is taken. That being said, I won’t discourage your muse from falling for / hitting on him, although I ask you to understand he will never respond with the same interest or will never react gently if he’s pushed too far.
02. If my shipping partner is comfortable enough, I'll interact with duplicates with the condition that the relationship is strictly platonic.
B. Constant interaction, mutual interest, and chemistry are a must for the sake of better communication (both ic and ooc, preferably).
C. Please do not approach me if you wish our characters to have either a: one night stand or friends with benefits type of relationships. It won’t work out due to the nature of Deuce’s personality, and for that I apologize.
E. My ship has its own tag so you're free to block it if you don't want to see it on your dashboard. In addition, I'll also tag those posts with only the ship name for this very purpose.
F. Please do not force ships on me.
V. CELEBRATIONS.
A. First off, I am absolutely terrible at keeping up with dates, and to be frank, I am not the biggest fan of celebrating, which is why I think it’s necessary to say I won’t be partaking in any holidays, not even Deuce’s birthday (not that he has one, to begin with). Obviously I will still reply to any gifts received, and will send out things in return —you know, common courtesy.
B. I won't be sending out birthday gifts every year, and I might write drabbles for people once in a blue moon; it doesn’t mean they will be done for the specific date though, so please be patient.
VI. REASONS TO NOT FOLLOW BACK / UNFOLLOW.
A. Too much drama / call-outs / vague posts / sexual content.
B. Content makes me uncomfortable.
C. You are a personal blog without a visible rp sideblog. Please make sure it's easy to find.
D. You do not have a proper tag system.
E. Your blog doesn’t have a rules and about pages.
F. You lack the manners to deal with people respectfully.
G. I have no interest / lost interest.
H. I'm constantly / only used as a meme archive.
I. Other reasons may apply. I will soft block so we can both cease following each other and avoid any potential awkward situations. I won’t make a fuss if you decide to unfollow so I expect the same courtesy.
VII. ABOUT BEATRICE.
She is not a real person. Her concept as Deuce’s (toxic) pseudolover is my creation and was somewhat inspired from the real life Beatrice Portinari. Do have in mind that Deuce doesn’t talk about her so your muse can’t simply approach him and ask about her unless they can go through his memories / read his mind / any capability alike or he speaks about her, though it won't take a genius to figure out that she's a product of his imagination.
You can read about her by clicking here -link to be added.
She serves as a lie to shield himself from the internalized homophobia he deals with up until meeting Ace.
NOTE: As stated previously, Mun =/= muse, but I too have been dealing with compulsory heterosexuality for far too long, so I'd like to apologize in advance for projecting a bit of that into my portrayal. I'll work so that this part makes sense with what we've been given from Ace's novel.
VIII. MISCELLANEOUS.
A. I will never force people to follow me, so if by any reason you have to unfollow/block me, please go ahead. Your comfort matters and have every right to do what you must to ensure your wellbeing. With that said, I will not tolerate and will immediately hard block if you try to police my content.
B. I do not follow back immediately, and it can take me from a few hours to several days to follow back. Do not take it personally if I choose not to.
C. If I follow it’s because I am interested in interacting. I only ask you to be patient because it might take me a while to gather the courage to send something to your inbox or talk to you.
D. I have. ZERO knowledge about medicine. Don’t expect me to go full force and try to be 100% accurate, because I won’t.
E. I practice reblog karma (send a meme to someone if I’m rebloging it from them). If you see something you’d like to reblog but have no intention in sending something yourself, then please reblog from the source.
IX. FINISH.
Thank you for taking the time to read this! As you might have noticed, there’s no password to send. Make sure to check the psa tag for any updates, or don’t hesitate to send an ask if there’s anything unclear! I do my best so as not to post too much OOC posts, but sometimes it just happens. If it's nothing important, then I'll erase it whenever I have the chance/remember.
Keanu Reeves vc: You’re all breathtaking!
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kangtaebins · 4 years
Text
Weird Asks That Say A Lot
I said I was going to just answer all of these bc of boredom,, and so here I am
1. Coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Teacups are aesthetically pleasing idc what anyone says
2. Chocolate bars or lollipops? Lollipops
3. Bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy supremacy
4. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? I was told that I was a leader a lot, and was told that I was very intelligent. Ah yes, I suffered from gifted kid burn out in high school-
5. Do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Look, plastic cups are the best. Specifically the ones with the lids and reusable straws
6. Pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? It truly depends on the day bc some days I would say goth and other days I’d say grunge, but most days- pastel
7. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds
8. Movies or TV shows? TV shows bc- idk actually I’m just not a movie person
9. Favorite smell in the summer? I have a weird obsession with the smell of cheap sunscreen and I have no clue why
10. Game you were best at in p.e.? I hated gym in high school and rarely participated despite the teacher being irritated with me (truly she gave up after a few months bc I really did not care at all) HOWEVER- I went to town in volleyball and still enjoy playing volleyball v much
11. What do you have for breakfast on an average day? I don’t eat breakfast often,,, 
12. Name of your favorite playlist? Probably my Navy or Indigo playlist
13. Lanyard or key ring? Key ring 
14. Favorite non-chocolate candy? Anything green apple!!!
15. Favorite book you read as a school assignment? I actually genuinely enjoyed Romeo And Juliet tbh
16. Most comfortable position to sit in? I always curl up in a ball on the couch, but in a chair I manspread ngl
17. Most frequently worn pair of shoes? Nike slides <//3
18. Ideal weather? Between 50-70 degrees, sunny but not warm, being able to wear a hoodie and not be hot or cold
19. Sleeping position? I usually either sleep on my left side or on my stomach (my back once in a while when it’s hurting bc I’m a hag)
20. Preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? I write on my phone more than anything
21. Obsession from childhood? Hm- I was really obsessed with High School Musical as a kid. My friend and I would put it on and lip sync to the songs and pretend we were the characters
22. Role model? Is it- wrong to say myself? Bc I feel like that sounds arrogant but genuinely it’s bc I’m constantly trying to better myself mentally and learn and grow. Idk I just am proud of who I am and look to myself when I need to find motivation
23. Strange habits? Strange? Idk if it’s strange but I’m constantly twiddling with the hem of my sleeves bc I love the feeling of it
24. Favorite crystal? Citrine 
25. First song you remember hearing? WH- bitch idk tf
26. Favorite activity to do in warm weather? Stay tf inside in the air conditioning
27. Favorite activity to do in cold weather? Stay tf inside in the heat
28. Five songs to describe you? To describe me?? Girl idk I'm all over the place. How about songs that resonate with me instead,,, Alive by Khalid, Paranoid by Lauv, Phobia by Dvwn, Fake Smile by Ariana Grande, and Breathin by Ariana Grande
29. Best way to bond with you? Truly I'm not very difficult to get along with, just don't be an asshole. Talk to me about psychology, current events, say Soobin is the cutest to exist idk it's not that hard
30. Places that you find sacred? I- hm. I'm not like a church person or anything so idk. Maybe just anything really old or places with very detailed and unique architecture
31. What outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? I don't own many clothes,,, let alone nice clothes. I also don't really dress to impress I'd much rather be comfortable
32. Top five favorite vines? Oh god if I h a d to pick???? The lipstick in the Valentino bag, they were roommates, it's an avocado- thaaanks, jared 19, and uh,,, zach stooppp you're gonna get in trouble
33. Most used phrase in your phone? Tbh it's probably "girl what-" or "no bc"
34. Advertisements you have stuck in your head? That 877-CASH-NOW ONE JFC
35. Average time you fall asleep? Between 11pm-1am
36. What is the first meme you remember ever seeing? Probably the troll face one or smth
37. Suitcase or duffel bag? Suitcase
38. Lemonade or tea? I mix them together!
39. Lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Lemon meringue pie bc I don't really like cake
40. Weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Y'all I- went to a hs/college mixed school,, I've seen it all. Weirdest?? Idk but one weird thing I remember was when we were making whistles in art and some dude made a penis whistle 😭
41. Last person you texted? My best friend :))
42. Jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets
43. Hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Hoodie 100%
44. Favorite scent for soap? I love soaps that smell like soap. Like ok duh I know that sounds dumb but yk what I mean? I don't want lemon or mint or whatever, I like the plain soap smell
45. Which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Fantasy
46. Most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Oversized t-shirt, no pants. I question anyone that is comfortable sleeping with pants on-
47. Favorite type of cheese? Feta!
48. If you were a fruit, what kind would you be? I feel like I'd be a pineapple and I have no clue why
49. What saying or quote do you live by? Not necessarily a quote but more of a thought: live for yourself, enjoy each day, do what gives you joy
50. What made you laugh the hardest you ever have? I have had so many instances in which I have laughed so hard I peed and to even attempt to name one is impossible
51. Current stresses? Making sure my family gets their vaccines and stays safe
52. Favorite font? I don't think I have one? Anything except comic sans
53. What is the current state of your hands? What does this even mean 💀 I mean,, they're holding my phone, cold, and my nails are unpolished
54. What did you learn from your first job? That people are assholes but I'm capable of not giving a fuck bc life is not that damn serious
55. Favorite fairy tale? Is The Three Little Pigs considered a fairy tale?
56. Favorite tradition? Putting up the Christmas tree with my mom :( it's always a lot of fun
57. The three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Depression, grief, and hopefully one day- smth I'm currently dealing with
58. Four talents you’re proud of having? Makeup!! But also: singing, crying on command, and tying cherry stems with my tongue
59. If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Sick of these bitches
60. If you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? I don't watch anime so idk
61. Favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? It's this line from Eleanor & Park: "Eleanor was right: She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something."
62. Seven characters you relate to? Holy hell, 7?? Probably won't get that many but hm,,, Darlene from Roseanne, Hermione from Harry Potter, Emily from Pretty Little Liars maybe?? Idk I suddenly blanked
63. Five songs that would play in your club? As if it's Your Last by BP, anything from SHINee, anything from Ariana, also anything Rihanna, just a bunch of women tbh
64. Favorite website from your childhood? FUCKING WEBKINZ BRO
65. Any permanent scars? I have a few on my arms idk where they came from tbh, I also have one on my hand from my sister 🧍🏻‍♀
66. Favorite flower(s)? Sunflowers!!! I also really love lilacs 💔
67. Good luck charms? My dog's collar that I wear as a bracelet
68. Worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? Licorice-
69. A fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? It takes repeating a piece of information 12 times at random to memorize it completely
70. Left or right handed? Right
71. Least favorite pattern? Fucking chevron- and realistic camo, and anything with the American flag
72. Worst subject? Yall im awful at history. American history, world history, all of it-
73. Favorite weird flavor combo? Either pickles and peanut butter or cheese and grapes
74. At what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? I'm stubborn but also always in pain so I've become numb to a lot of body pains. I have to be at like a 7-8 before I take smth otherwise I'd always be taking it
75. When did you lose your first tooth? I was probably like 5 I was definitely in Kindergarten
76. What’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? I fw baked potatoes
77. Best plant to grow on a windowsill? I have a love for succulents
78. Coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Oh my- I don't drink coffee but coffee from a gas station
79. Which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? Driver's license for sure
80. Earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel tones
81. Fireflies or lightning bugs? I say both,, but I think I say lightning bugs more
82. PC or console? PC
83. Writing or drawing? Both
84. Podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts definitely
84. Barbie or polly pocket? Barbie
85. Fairy tales or mythology? Fairy tales
86. Cookies or cupcakes? C o o k i e s
87. Your greatest fear? Losing people I love
88. Your greatest wish? To live comfortably and be a great mother
89. Who would you put before everyone else? My family
90. Luckiest mistake? Guessing on 90% of a test and getting an A 💀
91. Boxes or bags? Bags are easier to carry-
92. Lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Fairy lights!!
93. Nicknames? Sam, Sammi, my sister calls me Sams, my best friend calls me Bub, and my gf calls me Baby if that counts- 👀
94. Favorite season? Fall omg it's gorgeous and has perfect temperatures
95. Favorite app on your phone? ✨tumblr✨
96. Desktop background? Its literally a pic of Soobin, Taehyun, and Beomgyu
97. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Like 4-5
98. Favorite historical era? The one where white people learn their fucking place and stop being racist, homophobic, classist, sexist, all the -ists and -phobics,,,, so none. Fuck history :))
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