sydneyscarm

[sydneyscarm]

I fear people are seeing this rift between sydcarmy and diluting their whole relationship to that rift… like just how much they care for each other is being lost on some of yall. It’s right in front of our eyes even this season ! sydney simply shrugging like “well duh” when she says she widened the margins because of course she did carmy writes in them- it’s as simple as that. carmy inviting sydney to ever ACTUALLY lowkey begging her to come and introducing her to the table with a hand on her waist because he knew she was anxious to even be there !! you can love people and still go through rough patches come onnn people the love doesnt go away because someone’s being an asshole (aka carmy)

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not one “that’s something” :(

going from them always being on the same wavelength with food and literally finishing each other’s sentences to this like jesus christ that just broke my heart

[sydneyscarm]

ngl watching how some of y’all talk about Carmen makes me so fucking depressed as someone with a lot of baggage and trauma

no one said you have to put up with bullshit behavior forever, but if you think that someone who was torn down every day of their life is gonna be perfect the moment they realize they have a problem to fix in themselves, you’re going to be disappointed. repeatedly. forever.

none of y’all deserve Sydney either, bc she’s a damn good depiction of what it’s like to be someone who loves and cares for someone who’s fucked up. A side of the equation I ALSO happen to be familiar with. you hold that person accountable for shit behavior, back away when you need to for your health, and because you love them, you fucking come back.

Idk what kind of interpersonal relationships y’all have that can so easily be thrown away the moment shit isn’t perfect the way YOU need it, but this fucking “I don’t owe anyone anything least of all my shoulder to cry on” mindset sucks dick and balls when applied to media as much as it does in real life.

People are burdens. Plain and simple. Community requires sacrifice, love and partnership requires sacrifice. Or at the very fucking least: compromise.

Like. If you met someone who understood you better than anyone, a person whose entire life has been parallel to yours in a way that uniquely binds the two of you, y’all would really just fucking walk away WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING just because they’re hurting and lashing out? Because that’s what y’all are advocating for, and that’s the fucking problem.

So many of y’all have this “I shouldn’t have to speak up and set a boundary” mindset. you just fucking sulk and stew in it and then blow up because you never set your foot down when you needed to.

Even if Sydney walks away from Carmen, she needs to fucking speak up or she’s gonna get walked on AGAIN. She deserves better but she also has to fucking ask for it. And that’s entirely separate from the fact that Carmen needs to pull his head out of his ass.

Either way, I think we would all do well to fucking self-reflect.

[sydneyscarm]

you look nice you look nice you look nice you look nice you’re dressed like syd you look nice you’re dressed like syd you’re dressed like syd

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tired of thinking of Meaningful Analysis. who’s gonna write the heated argument/playful banter/snarky attitude/sexy/desparate/nasty sydcarmy fic.

[sydneyscarm]

anyways nat’s ep & tina’s ep were so phenomenal i couldn’t stop crying actually.

seeing tina fight and fight and fight and get so weighed down only to be pulled back up by food, the thing that was keeping her through it, getting her through interviews and rejection and walking the entirety of chicago for a job. her and mikey’s conversation was like a breath of fresh air

watching nat’s ep might’ve healed some of my mommy issues. or made them worse who’s to say. donna is such an interesting character, she’s so unbelievably human that it sorta makes you sick to your stomach.

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if i remember right tina's husband was at mikey's funeral when carmy was watching them from the car

That’s riiiiiight. Where the fuck is that man now though?

[sydneyscarm]

I’m just not surprised. this is the exact way we were told he was going to be acting. like a new york ego maniac that drives everyone crazy especially syd. idk the more I think about it the more I get everyone’s frustration with carmy but like he’s supposed to make us wanna rip our hair out. like he’s supposed to be annoying and ruinous. there would be very little story if he wasn’t. we always naturally wanna see things work out nice and easy and joyous and perfect but it was never gonna be a straight upwards line like that.

I actually think that this season showed syd’s feathers more than anything. marcus makes a speech about how special it is to have someone pay attention to you and really consider you and then right after we have syd literally adjusting the margins so carmy would be more comfortable writing. and he’s so taken aback by someone doing something so small for him like it’s nothing. like despite the fact that he’s driving her insane, she really cares about him, and her wanting to leave has so much to do with not him but how he’s acting, alongside the fact that she wants to have a voice in the kitchen he keeps on saying he’ll give her and then doesn’t. it feels like she knows this isn’t who he is and she keeps waiting around to see if he’ll open up to her but it doesn’t happen so then we have half conversations and half truths that are frustrating and so true to character.

one thing that was made blatantly clear is that these two are so hungry to know the other more. they want to be more involved but are both so emotionally stunted when it comes to each other they don’t know where to start. like when they look into each other’s eyes the words just go out the window. when they’re not talking about work they don’t know where to go from there even though they want to.

I can easily say I have never seen chemistry the way these two have it. you can do whatever you can to wipe it but you can’t. even if you don’t give them a big table scene it’s still there. it’s always going to be carmy and sydney, even if they can’t find each other yet. what they want and where they’re at are two different things and it may take a bit for them to get there. I think the not knowing of it all is intoxicating.

[sydneyscarm]

“you look nice” ILL KILL MYSELF IN FRONT OF YOU CARMEN BERZATTO.

[sydneyscarm]

sydney making the margins wider and it’s just cause he writes in the margins 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[sydneyscarm]

very important detail to me that the camera doesn’t show carm when he tells syd “im right here.” because he isn’t, is he? he’s not there. he’s not there for her and the restaurant the way he needs to be. you can hear his words and they sound sincere but we can’t see his face. he hasn’t shown up for her in the way that she needs, even if he tells her. which is reiterated AGAIN in the same scene when all he says is “i don’t wanna be hard to keep up with” and absolutely nothing else.

he hasn’t shown many action behind his words, and they’re starting to lose their power and meaning

[sydneyscarm]

idc if it makes me sound crazy sydcarmy is real and i know it cause it’s shown right in our faces in every scene they share together. it goes to show that they KNOW how to make a scene feel intimate, and sacred, and untouchable.

the flimsy interactions with claire in his bedroom dont actually mean shit when every conversation between sydcarmy feels intimate, like im intruding. we always catch them while they are already in the midst of spending time together, and always in the kitchen. when the lights never seem to flicker when it’s just them. when it’s dim and blue and white and not just one or the other. there’s almost never background music, and its almost always Just them. they talk to each other softly until the words become raw and cut and like they no longer understand one another

[sydneyscarm]

all those parallels were not lost on me. sydcarmy’s we always win, trust.

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yall. i haven’t slept, i fear.

[sydneyscarm]

this is what you wanted right this is what you wanted right this is what you wanted right this is what you wanted right this is what you wanted right

[sydneyscarm]

i’ve risen from the dead (watched the new trailer)

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no cause what the actual fuck is this dudes problem.

that one still from s1 of carmen just. staring the fuck outta sydney’s soul