#im such a bad person
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I never even asked to be born
you wanted to have me mom
#lowkey feeling like shes regretting givong birth to me#im such a bad person#nicky shit talks#js ignore this
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Holy mother wow just wow
Love the update
No update is to small
just wow
I don’t think I’ve disliked someone so fast and the Mc dies but we can take her with us.
So the Mc is definitely perfect for your story. With how their life was.
Also will the age we pick truly matter
And I kinda wish the Mc mother was hurt in a worse way but if she’s gone then I can handle that.
Ohhhh also made a 98 on my English paper and I started following that blog thank you
🎉🎉🎆 awesome sauce! You did wonderful anon! :)
😫 I'm glad you enjoyed it! As writers, we shouldn't hate the characters we created but she took gluttony to another level. When I was writing her dialogue. I wanted to pull her through the pages and give her a good beating. 😒.
The age won't matter not so much. Remember now that your character has died, they're going to travel to another world. "Vathilia". The body your character is transmigrating into will be a century older. So for that question half and half.
For the mother now? Has her reign of terror truly ended? Or did she also transmigrate as well? 🤭 the suspense.
When I was writing that branch I honestly thought nobody would notice that choice. Honestly i was only going to have one death scene, but then I thought to myself. If my mother hated me that much and wanted to kill me. I would honest to God take her with me. So I decided why not add that choice.
Really thank you so much! 😂 I said it multiple times already I was doubting this update! But I am happy I posted it.
#killing your own child just for a bit of money. When you could have just asked her for one of her bank cards.#theres just something about writing about characters arguing.#😏 once you experience the dysfunctional-ity of a household. writing cutesy family stuff becomes a challenge#i love arguments.#be prepared for some angst that makes your character lose romance points#im such a bad person#thinking about it now#i don't even know how many chapters I'll be writing for this book. we'll just go with the flow I guess#also anon have a wonderful day! once again congrats on scoring 98! 🎆#lovely anon#ask#recent update#also did anyone kiss the stranger that was standing in your hallway?! 👀#*their. used the wrong pronouns in the first tag!
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the thought wont go away and it hurts and its driving me insane
#hurts so bad but im trying so hard to get better about it#im such a bad person#why cant i just be good :(
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(after misunderstanding what someone said and embarrassing myself) oh great now they hate me and want to kill me with rocks
#realizing im awful at comprehending speech and intention from other people#am i autistic or just a bad person who knows
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💥💥💥🔨🔨🔨💥💥🔨💥🔨💥💥🔨💥🔨💥🔨💥💥💥💥🔨🔨🔨💥🔨💥🔨💥💥🔨💥🔨🔨💥💥💥🔨💥🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨💥💥🔨💥🔨💥🔨💥
I already said I'm sorry
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I am actually so serious I think it really messes with a childs creativity and joy to tell them to never make a mary sue OC. Like that unbridaled form of joy where you make a self insert OC who super cool and everyone loves them and they have every superpower in the world SHOULD be something a kid makes, it nourishes their ability to create things for fun and not be stifled by "oh but what if my character is too overpowered and cringey...". whatever
#^ 10 y/o me was obsessed w/ art YTers who would always talk about good and bad art and mary sues and stuff#I think kids should be encouraged to make bad art and stupud OCs as much as possible abd im so serious about that. i think its actually#amazing for their development as both as person and artist
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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reflection
#anyways so i think samus has major survivors guilt and is a super perfectionist. The type of girl who reimagines scenarios in her mind#And thinks about how she could have done better. like ‘if i had woken up sooner maybe i could have saved everyone in prime 3’#so i think she says she doesnt know anything about herself because shes so hypercritical of her actions she doesnt see herself as a person#while also her hyper critical-ness shows how she says she wants to ignore herself but she literally cant because she has so many criticisms#oh i wanted to include the ppl from the prime 2 manga in that one shot but was like ‘i dont think ppl will recognize them’.#also lol the existence of dark samus would fuck her up SOOOO bad like it only exists bc she exists & its responsible for the gang’s deaths#okay im done rambling tldr MENTAL ILLNESS.#metroid#samus aran#loneart#metroid dread#metroid prime#super metroid#metroid series#i dont wanna tag all the games. There just those games is enough#hall of fame
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does anyone have like an anti aesthetic. like something you look at and can recognize as a complete fashion/interior design/artistic movement and understand it but it makes you shudder seeing it. i am not talking like “its morally bad” “its poorly structured” like just sheerly devoid of joy for you actually invites a repulse response.
#also if it wasnt clear this isnt ‘its bad its lazy’ there is a level of like#completion consistancy i am thinking for with this#personally i really do not enjoy the like. vintage chic long red nails fur coats noir esque aesthetic HOWEVER 💥💥💥#i can recognize that it is put together it is Intentional#i feel like a lot of people are going to say minimalism on this so LET ME SAY 🫰☝️ i recognize that minimalism is Considered an aesthetic#but i *PERSONALLY* do not consider it an aesthetic i consider it the void of one#it is a lapse in aesthetic or personality in the same way a silence in a song is still technically a ‘beat’ but no music is played#however the importance of Space or Breath in design is more akin to a purposeful silence in music#because that silence matters in the same way rhythm and breath in design do#so i guess minimalism is more comparable to like. white noise. the sound of a fan#very little effort and there is a comfort in it i suppose but its not. A Design. okay#TO ME 🤫#if minimalism has one hater its me if minimalism has no haters im dead
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#bpd#actually bpd#bpd vent#borderline personality disorder#living with borderline#bpd thoughts#bpd feels#aesthetic#bpd mood#mental illness#silly goofy mood#i wanna relapse so bad#bad person#i'm sad#not ok rn#im so upset#mentally fucked#borderline personality problems#actually mentally ill#borderline thoughts
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“i love being aromantic” i say as i feel my chest cavity rotting from the inside at the unquenchable desire for love in a way that is truly a secret third thing but its not a secret i want to keep it is a secret nobody is willing to listen to and im trapped in a state of isolation of my own making because no matter how much love i have to give it will never be enough. it will never be enough. it will never be enough.
#space.txt#aromantic#its like something gnawing on my bones!!!#i am who i am but who i am is somebody nobody else wants#and do i want to be wanted?#im trapped in a world that will never give me the dignity to be truly happy by myself#financially and culturally! im doomed by the narrative#i look forward and there will be friendships but they will never be enough i feel like a fucking ALIEN#i need to meet another aroace person irl so bad its so fucking lonely how do people deal with this#1k#all the notes on this.. WE WIL BE OKAY!!!#2k
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Yes you’re not fatphobic but are you capable of talking about fat people in a positive manner without saying somft/round/rotund/squishy/tumby/chumby/any other variation of the sort. Are you capable of talking about us in a positive manner without it being about beauty or attractiveness. Are you able to talk about fat people in general without being dehumanizing or infantilizing. Can you treat fat people with respect.
#disclaimer ofc that not every fat person feels this way. but i personally hate it sooo bad#and also disclaimer that ur ok to rb but the second someone clowns im taking away reblog and reply rights#like i think if youre talking about a fat person the same way youd talk about a fat cat you need to reconsider some things#tbh i see it more w characters than i do real people but its smth i Have seen happen and it drives me up the wall
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Cant fucking believe that I'll have to go to school in 5 hours and have to face my friend getting the recognition that should be reserved for ME AND ME ONLY
#actually narcissistic#im crying#prefects#shes a fucking prefect and she's fucking uselss#im such a bad person
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legend has it that the young witch circe and the once beautiful nymph scylla shared a complicated past...
#art#cirscylla#that's the ship name i like for them best anyway#circe#scylla#greek mythology#welcome to my greek mythos yuri#DOOMED YURI#circylla#epic the musical#do i even tag it as that? i think i should cuz epic is the reason im so into greek mythos#jorge said we might get a spinoff about their backstory and im insane over that#i know it's probably going to be about how circe loved that one guy but still a girl can dream#this is them but younger! before circe turns scylla into the horrific man-eating monster that even poseiden fears#there's just so much potential here#consider a younger and much warier circe landing on the island for the first time after being outcasted by her family for her magic#and she meets scylla there who back then is a much happier and playful person#enemies to lovers to enemies again#i don't know if they ever make it to lovers or if they were only an almost#they're about to have the worst breakup in greek history#im rambling in tags MY BAD
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oh my fucking god i don't have any clothesssss
#what moving to another country does to a mf...#it's like. i gotta shop for winter clothes ASAP#because i have like 2 sweaters and 1 sweatshirt like that's it LMAO#and a jacket i bought HERE#why did i not pack winter clothes when coming to fucking sweden you ask. good question#my baggage was already 30 kilos#im only one weak person#i already died that day due to my 30 kilo baggage many times#i had to ask random people to help me lmaoooooo the way i'd rather die than doing that in a normal day 😭#it was THAT bad..#and now i dont have anything proper to wear. fml#and i am so bad when it comes to clothes shopping like u have noooo idea#im terrible at shopping in general. :/#ughhhh i will try to do that this friday :////// hope i don't freeze in the meantime :////#🗒
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bunch of portraits
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#ryomen sukuna#megumi fushiguro#gojo satoru#nanami kento#choso kamo#nobara kugisaki#yuta okkotsu#fanart#crying im so tired....#busts aren't hard on their own but 8 of them ???#i should have stuck at 6 if i knew what was good fr me#but lucky fr choso n yuuta enjoyers i dont know whats good fr me and tacked on the extra 2 last minute#i did a bust piece waaay back in 2020 early jjk days and it was this crowd minus choso/yuuta so i wanted to like. do a kind of redraw#im happy choso n yuuta made the cut tho they r fun they look as tired as i feel#i've been having a lot of fun w the more semirealistic skin render so i wanted to stretch those muscles a bit more#took the better part of 3 days but u know i'm pretty happy w these i dont think i have a hard least favourite#fun game guess my favourite characters based on how i draw them it is Glaringly obvious 2 me#ik i said i dont have a least favourite but i certainly have A Favourite#uhhhh misc notes i tried rly hard to make sukuna's face look like yuuji's and only rly change the expression#i think i was successful??? i hope?????? like i didnt want to make him look like his own person as bad as that sounds#he is Wearing Yuuji that is Yuuji's Face#also i rly . wish there were more women . but as much as i like maki as a character i fr some reason don't find drawing her very fun ?#so nobara out here pulling her weight fr the girls my goat my queen <333
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