#im still in a weird mental space but its getting better

[phantomrose96]

My manager and my project lead both gave me glowing glowing reviews on this project (my lead even CC'd my skip-level and skip-skip-level with his praise and they both responded) even after I spent all of January and February worried that I was slipping behind with work because I was busy being an overwhelmed shell of a person

[puppyeared]

for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........

[cloudd-nyne]

.

[withered--s0uls]

Sometimes I feel like I should stop interacting with fandoms but then again I also want friends who share my interests.

Idk, fandom can be great at times but at others it makes me want to vomit.

[divorceblogger]

hey love of my life, you've read dune right? can u explain the kwistaz haderach scheme like im 10 years old

I willll <3 people aren’t wrong when they say that the ‘kwisatz haderach’ is just a very, very special boy that a white guy was writing about in his silly sci-fi book before he decided to write more seriously about the dangers of imperialism and colonialism in the subsequent sequels. but really, the kwisatz haderach’s most narratively important role in the story is as the messiah-ruler figure of a despotic, genocidal empire; and he��s still a victim of the story he creates, a helpless product of his bloodline’s imperial ambitions and generations of political scheming.

where the definition of kwisatz haderach gets more complicated is when you start to pay more attention to the worldbuilding side of things apart from just looking at the role he plays in the larger story.

in the books, the bene gesserit essentially begin a breeding program to develop a biological product who’s supposed to have superhuman capabilities - capable of training in the bene gesserit way & developing the ability to peer into ‘male avenues’ which are beyond a bene gesserit’s ability - as well as ‘female avenues’ (which the bene gesserit are restricted to). the ‘female avenues’ referred to here are probably mostly in reference to the inherited biological memory of the past, and the reverend mothers (who inherit the memories of previous reverend mothers) probably possess the most heightened state of a bene gesserit’s powers. I suspect the male avenues refer to the ability to peer into the future although it’s never clarified - but to summarise, a kwisatz haderach is supposed to have mental powers that enable him to explore time, access the past and sort through different possible futures which can enable him to shape/choose what form it takes (dune messiah deals with the tragic consequences of losing your free will and expands more on the concept). spice and its various forms are the drugs which enable bene gesserit to train and develop these powers. the significance of the kwisatz haderach to the fremen is more complicated, although you probably already understood what was happening there - the bene gesserit plant ‘prophecies’ and superstitions through its branch of the missionaria protectiva to develop a mythology and faith that a trained bene gesserit - ideally the mother of the kwisatz haderach - can exploit to her advantage to protect the product of several centuries of breeding in case the necessity arises. and jessica and paul do actually exploit the fremen to their advantage in the books and the movies, if more explicitly in the latter.

the movie obviously simplifies this concept more to its benefit. the bene gesserit, with their own political agendas, vaguely describe the kwisatz haderach as someone capable of leading the universe into a better future, which sounds too good to be true for a reason. jessica tells paul that the bene gesserit tried to develop a mind capable of bridging space and time and those are words also used in the book - the movie just does away with most of the weird, inane gender stuff.

[giyuuswifey]

Sweet sugar and Sour Vinegar

pairings; giyuu tomioka x fem!reader

TW; angst to fluff , depression , failed to comfort, cringe (?), child death.

summary;your 5 year old daughter died from a sudden illness, giyuu a stoic hashira and husband never showed much emotion , from your child's death giyuu tried to comfort but failed .

Your life was perfect , having a beautiful daughter , himari and a dear husband , giyuu tomioka

Until himari got ill ,you tried to find doctors who would help your daughter , but the doctors always said their was no cure.

As the months past himari's illness got worse . Dawn came , you were looking after himari when she spoke , "mama, i love you." she said weakly , as you were about to speak she stopped breathing , you didn't accept that your child had died in your watch , you shook her gently , no response came from her mouth , you checked her pulse , their was no sign of a beat .

Giyuu came home that night , he opened the bedroom door to see you crying at himari's bed side , holding her cold hand , giyuu ran over to you , "y/n what's wrong ?" , their was no response from you , only weak sobs , giyuu pulled you into his arms rubbing your back, "shhh, its alright , now tell me whats wrong ?" , you didn't respond , giyuu spoke once more " please tell me whats wrong , please" , you hugged giyuu , which shocked him , you took a deep breath and spoke ," giyuu....h-himari's dead ..." , giyuu`s eyes widened ,tears threatening to fall from his eyes , as he hugged you back he said " she's in a better place now okay ? she won't suffer anymore " , you kept sobbing as your body felt numb , stumbling over your words you finally had the courage to speak again "giyuu , did i ...fail to be a mother ?" , giyuu was taken aback of what he heard , " you didn't fail, darling" , with his soft touch he picked you up settling you down on your couch , he went back to himari's bedside and carried her , he stopped in his tracks to speak to you , "im taking himari to the graveyard to bury her okay ? it wont take me too long " you nodded in response still thinking of what happened .

At the graveyard giyuu finished burying himari , he knelt down as tears spilled from his eyes , losing another loved one was enough , at least he still has you .

Giyuu came back home , and as he opened the door he saw you still sitting on the couch , he stepped inside the room to see you sleeping while sitting on the couch , giyuu carried you to the bed and tucked you in , as time passed giyuu could'nt sleep , until you started to stir from your sleep , you woke up and sat up tapping giyuu's shoulder he turned to over to see your burnt out expression , you spoke " could you give me a hug ?" , giyuu then sat up and pulled you in for a hug , your eyes started watering , you started crying , giyuu rubbed your back telling you everything was going to be fine , you then replied "giyuu , i dont know what to do anymore ", giyuu was taken aback at your response , he let go of you and kissed you on your lips , a gesture saying 'we'll get through this i promise ' he pulled away looking into your red and puffy eyes , you,not knowing what to do looked into nothing but space , you were in a daze , giyuu , who was shocked snapped his fingers in front of your eyes , you flinched , giyuu kissed you again but this time on the cheek, you didn't even notice the way he looked at you , the look of pure concern and care ,you unintentionally cupped his cheeks , which took him by shock , he didn't even know if you were mentally unstable because of your carelessness , he spoke to get your attention "my love , you're acting very weird right now " you looked at his azure eyes and said "im sorry , i just wished it was me instead of himari " , he looked shocked at what you said , tears threatening to spill from his eyes , that he tried to blink away , but failed when you took your hand away from his cheek and laid back down , crying yourself to sleep ,tears running down his cheeks and shook you gently , you looked at him with red eyes and tear -stained face , he laid down with you while hugging you tightly , never letting go .

The next morning , he woke up to see the bedside was empty , giyuu being giyuu panicked and ran down stairs to see you cooking breakfast - you made some hot ,brewed tea , he hugged you from behind , and kissed your cheek , you finally spoke to break the silence "aren't you going to a meeting or a mission , giyuu ?" , he looked at you and shook his head meaning he doesn't have any assignments , he stopped hugging you when he saw you holding the freshly brewed tea , he sat beside you , taking your advantage , you tilted you head enough to rest it on his shoulders , at least he didn't mind it , he said "hey , about last night , i just wanted to tell you that , you've been my greatest reason to live , if i didn't meet you then i would've committed suicide by now , but today im still living because , every mission i feel like i wont survive but i have a reason to stay strong and remember that i'll come home eventually and see you , my love , you'll always be my inspiration to keep living and stay strong so please just know that i love you so so much " wwith his heartfelt words , you started tearing up and replied " i love you too so so much " and with that he kissed you passionately.

THE END

[the-s1lly-corner]

Can we have reader who has the "gift" of changing the weather with their emotions x TADC ? (Either platonic or romantic, I don't mind! ^^) Like- they can go from sunny days and rainbows everyone and if they get upset the weather suddenly changes into cloudy day with a few thundering here and there, there's probably rain too but it depends on what made you upset lol

Kinger, Pomni, Ragatha, and Zooble x reader who can manipulate the weather through their feelings

still limiting the number of characters per post since im still not mentally where i need to be in order to... do full casts(?) </3 more than willing to do the rest in a second post if you want, though WOOOOO admin managed to fall asleep early last night and now im up early, nature is healing!! im finally out of my "can only sleep for a few hours until 12am then be unable to sleep for the following 8 and then spending the day sleeping" cycle melatonin gummies aint shit!/j

POMNI:

will jump if you ever get angry enough to summon some lightning bolts. as mean as it sounds i think she would put some space between the two of you if you're setting loose the aforementioned lightning before or raining everywhere. but that might work out if youre the kind of person who needs some time alone to calm down- she will apologize for giving you some space, i hope you can understand that she doesnt want to be electrocuted </3 but it does offer up a reason for you two to work together to find a system to better regulate yourself, and i think pomni might just be one of your biggest supporters during that!

RAGATHA:

probably has made you a custom/personalized umbrella so you have at least some level of protection against your own rain or even from your own sun rays (eyes!! your eyes!!).. really put her all in making it for you, anything you'd ever want in an umbrella is there. okay jokes aside, i think she would be really good at calming you down enough to quell your storm clouds, and enough for you to recollect yourself enough to calmly communicate your feelings out; she probably lets you hang out in her room once everything is under control (she has lots of stuff in there, doesnt want it to get rained on or zapped)(understandably)

KINGER:

Probably jumps when your little storm cloud above you lets out thunder or lightning; but that might be because im self projecting on kinger again and making him anxious about storms.. shrugs. unlike pomni i think he would try to find a solution right there, offering himself up to talk to you regardless of risk. likes seeing your sunrays cast down because he's well aware that its a visual indicator that youre happy, and that makes him feel more.. sure of himself that everything is fine, or at least as fine as it can be in the digital world. very nice, very sweet

ZOOBLE:

doesnt like water getting into their joints/where their body parts connect since it can make them feel.. weird. slicked or even waterlogged depending on which joint it is. not the best comforter but theyre trying their best; will yell at someone is they made you upset (cough cough jax). as mean as it sounds, they can sometimes get a little overwhelmed/annoyed by your weather patterns, but they do feel bad since they understand its a reflection of your emotions. definitely still cares about you, though. bad at cheering people up, but they will at least make an attempt though unlike some other characters in this post/other characters not in this post, theyre not going to pester until they see your sunrays come back

[changbinsboobs]

I think thats my biggest ick with idols in general they seem very mixed in terms of what they want in their readings as well like sometimes one of them wants a relationship but at the same time doesnt want someone whos always clingy to them 24/7 like sorry how do they expect their partner to be then? especially younger ppl are going to be like I get it if its a personal space thingy but at the same time they either do or dont want romance in their lives. that or a lot of it comes from their own insecurities too which you also wouldnt want to deal with if you have your own insecurities

and actually given the age demographic of their fan bases i can see older fans being slightly put off by wanting to engage in a romantic relationship with the members because mentally skz seem very young? esp felix i think some members could easily be taken advantage off whilst others need to dial their egos down a tad if they want a serious relationship (me talking about an idols relationship despite the fact ive never been in one myself lmaoooooooooo)

also chan not kissing yet is so relatable but still a bit of a surprise because he always seem to have girlies lusting after him so bro probs had 50 temporary relationships that fell through because of both their immaturities or general inexperience tho

this blog has so much tea its actually hilarious but im getting a better image of who id avoid sorry not sorry its not all about wealth or their idol image folks but bc their fans seem to be getting younger i feel like thats all they experience romantically and thus really do treat older fans like theyd be a personal waitress or their second mother as that other anon said its very immature if they really are like that but at the same time u wouldnt want to waste effort on a guy like that because its going to go nowhere

I find skz to be actually pretty divided between very mature, family oriented, man of their word kinda guys (seungmin, i.n, changbin & lee know) and the other half being pretty immature/toxic in one aspects or the other, romantically speaking.

I must say tho - i find it weird discussing their datability sometimes, and talking about them as if they're guys we know and actually have an option to date😅 well anyways, as u said some seem quite inexperienced or immature and especially people like that tend to not really know what they want which leads them to change their opinion or preference often or not being able to stick with one certain thing for a long while, cuz how can you know what you like and what you want when u don't even know urself right?!

And idk how you really meant it in ur last paragraph but i don't think the age of their fans has anything to do with the age range of the people they date😂 if i remember correctly i did a reading on that a while ago, i don't remember what came up but overall i don't think any of them really do anything with fans - and even if they would, it wouldn't be with crazy obsessed fans (which probably the majority of those are younger) but with more mature ones that don't put them on a pedestal and just behave with dignity.

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

hhi could i. could i ask if you have any portal ford headcanons im being insane about him right now and your headcanons are So 💥‼️🎉🌈💥/pos

hi hello hows it goin

-he didn't get all of his tattoos in one sitting, and he actually has a few he gave to himself. some of the tattoos look like normal earth tattoos, but theres also a few that have cool effects to them. color-changing, moving slightly, shapeshifting from one creature to another, etc. etc.

-he gave himself a little sailboat tattoo in case he ever lost the photo. he also gave himself an axolotl after he met Jheselbraum

-when he was fresh into the portal, hed join other interdimensional travelers, make companions...he stopped after a while because the grief he felt every time he inevitably lost them became too much. he still misses the ones he did have, though. he gave himself a constellation tattoo to remember them- a star for each one.

-he has perhaps too many tattoos. most of them end up being covered up by scars, though

-speaking of scars- ford lost his right arm sometime while he was in the portal. An "anomaly" bit it off. He has a prosthetic now (in the future, he's going to keep forgetting to mention this to stan. which is. definitely not going to cause any problems at all (sarcastic))

-he has several scars that either look weird (slightly glow-in-the-dark, shimmers, etc.) or healed in strange patterns because they were caused by weapons very much not intended to interact with human flesh

-he has a lot of "speckle" scars all over him. theyre from corrosive rain

-Jheselbraum has been thoroughly established as a sort of secondary mother figure in his mind. She has also been given this role by many, many other versions of Ford. she is the space mom

-he once met a moth version of himself who borrowed a gun from him and never gave it back. hes still upset about that. no, he has not realized the connection

-he once held a full conversation with another version of stan without noticing who he was talking to. in his defense, it was dark out

-at some point, he developed a tapetum lucidum and nictitating membranes. this is the incredibly self-indulgent biology-hyperfixation-induced headcanon

-he thinks he can handle smoke and toxic air better because of how much time hes spent not being able to breathe properly. its actually made him more sensitive to things like that

-he has gotten better at not being poisoned though. this comes from years of eating random mushrooms and plants and bug-adjacent creatures. this doesnt apply to raw meat as much, but he can definitely handle it better than most other humans

-every now and then, the hyperfixation excitement will outweigh how horrible he feels all the time and he'll just end up staring at some sort of weird creature and taking mental notes about it for a really long time

-sometimes he'll name random creatures he sees just to kill time. waiting for your food to finish cooking? give your local fish-bird-thing a name

-he doesnt know this, but hes actually seen a few creatures that are considered cryptids in those dimensions

-his favorite dimensions are the ones filled with wildlife and starry skies and vibrant colors. theyre not nearly as common as youd think they are

-hes gotten more used to speaking non-earth languages than earth-languages. as such, hes started using lots of phrases that have...interesting translations in english

-he forgets how to speak sometimes. it used to be more distressing, but he doesnt typically come across many creatures that can understand language anyway. its more of an annoyance than anything at this point

-hes gotten really good at mimicking the calls of other creatures. really good. possibly too good (he will use this power for evil in the future. to terrorize his brother with seagull noises)

-this is technically post-portal, but he adapts the creatures hes seen into homebrew enemies and races in his DD&MD campaigns

-also post-portal, but he'll sometimes forget that that weird thing hes looking at is. yknow. weird and not just a normal part of life in this dimension. this is one of the two reasons why he asks stan to point out anomalies to him

[konohamaru-sensei]

To me, Kimi ni todoke is a perfect story

What can I say now that I have finished season 3? The season 3 we didn't even know we would be getting? Well, I used to tell friends that I am happy with whatever comes, but now im greedy and I want it all. I am very Kazehaya about new KnT seasons, I guess.

Anyway, I have been browsing the tag a little to find gifs and reactions and such, and I already see discussions (not much tbh but still) about how this and that in the story should be different and while the anime did skip things (Rip to "you are mine now" Nakamura-san would have sounded SO GOOD!), people are satisfiedI think. I am, at least, very happy.

But to me, Kimi ni todoke is perfect. and not perfect in this way that i have small problems but overall I'm happy. No, I find it perfect perfect. Every storyline every character development from beginning to end is perfect. I guess people complaining about Ayane or whatever, even if its not here on tumblr that much, just show me that I can't interact with fans of this fandom either.

See, ever since I found KnT in 2009 when I was just 17 (about the age of the characters in the story funnily enough) I have always rewatched it when I was doing poor mentally. I must have seen it 12-15 times over the years, I've probably watched it twice after my fathers death alone. These characters mean the world to me, all of them. I love all of them.

But the girls! At different times of my life I could always connect to another one of them. So much so that while I like Chizu best and think she resembles me the most (in fact, I think she is the anime character that is closest to me in personality), I find a part of me in all of them.

When I found the story I had just lost my friendgroup (because an ex lied about me, it happens) and I had to go back to being alone, so I emphasised with Sawako (and her distancing herself from her friends always makes me cry, without fail, always).

When I moved out to study in 2011 and was mentally so low in 2012 and dated guys because I thought otherwise they wouldnt be my friends, I reread Ayanes okinawa arc over and over and over again.

And of course I have my friends call me by a different name than my given name because my given name is boring lol Kurumi and me.

And ah, Chizu, it would be too long to explain. Too personal. Nobody would care. I had a best friend once that I lost because I was scared of our friendship ending. I love Chizuru because we are the same, and I'm jealous of her because she is better than me. I don't have time or space to express my feelings. Level up to Nisi friendship level 6 to hear tragic backstory.

Also, I can't talk about this show without mentioning how much the voice actors mean to me. Long before I knew any seiyuu-names I knew Kazehayas-voice. In fact, I hated oikawa in hq SPECIFICALLY because he has kazehayas voice and isnt nice! You gotta be nice with that voice man! Their voices are tattooed onto my soul and when I hear them in other places I always think of KnT first.

I love them so very much that when I watched the Tokyo E ncounter episode with Nakamura Yuuchi (Ryu) and Sanpei Yuuko (Chizuru) when they are playing Halo and he is teasing her for having bad aim, I started crying - like sobbing. It was so weird I have you know but I just sat there and I couldn't get it together.

Anyway, Kimi ni todoke is perfect to me. Everything about it means the world to me. I have to physically restrain myself to not rewatch the season again.

Please netflix, finish it, please. You may cut some things. I will forgive you if you cut some things, but give me the end.

[narutosux]

another thing i sit here and i think about with the punisher show is that i think a major disappointment for me is that his kids weren't more important than his wife. i think its a mistake to have him be someone more focused on relationships w/ adult women and less focused on making sure kids get to be kids and, most importantly, grow up.

i think it was just so annoying in the show that they made him flashback to his wife constantly and it was always like sexual tension and w/e bc i think..... i think its better if hes still there just looking for his daughter. wondering who she would have been. hes looking for his son, fearing what it would mean if he grew up to be just like his father.

i think for one of his grounding things to be his wife asking him to join her, or for him to be in a mental space of having sex with his wife while being tourtured, not only was the scene really fucking weird, i think it was just disappointing. bro was like deployed more often than he was at home with her?

maybe its just because im a daughter who wants the love of a father, but i also just felt as though the love he had for his daughter in daredevil S2 was more powerful than anything they attempted to portray in S1 of the punisher with his wife.

[tothesolarium]

im memepin (currently not logged into that acc) and on your space elves comment, i have a species of space elves in a scifi thing where they're technically immortal but as they age/take damage/etc their tissue hardens into an obsidian like substance. taking off from a planet/landing on one/dealing with atmospheric changes causes microscopic injuries and repeated stress like this gives them a shimmer like glitter. it also generally gives them Space Arthritis. Bc yknow. i have arthritis of course im giving it to my pretty boy elves. They consider becoming a statue to be a high honor and outsiders arriving on their world learn most statues aren't carved but are corpses. so like, you can make more humanoid aliens you just gotta get weird with it and arguably this isn't That Weird. (also you can use this concept its fine :thumbs_up: ) Also for writing romance i always suggest beta readers, or even more deranged, rping. Bouncing my bad writing off another person always made it come out better. I really like focusing less on actions and more on mental state for romance and affection, etc. small motions get a whole sentence or more. slow pacing for more effect.

oh my goodness that's such a beautiful idea!! Love the statues being corpses, that's so, macabre but beautiful! a love for who once was putting them on display, but also what kind of lessons/statements can be made with them! what a lovely idea!!

though I would feel terrible using your own idea. if i ever do you'd get extensive crediting + i'd talk to you about the vibes of the ideas.

I will tell ya about what i'm thinking for my space elves. I am going on the, they are mortal, but try to beat time. this is done with different methods. They are very royal~nobility ruled, but better at giving out hearty bread and entertaining circuses. Circuses that can put younger royals and nobles at risk, so it feels like an even more important show.

ANYWHO ON BEATING TIME! they're finding ways to stall aging, or regrow themselves (think immortal jellyfish), or beating time by out living others. there is the practice of using others bodies to try and to invigorate themselves. just, eating blood, wont do anything but make them sick. so it takes a lot of processing to turn a Whole body into new material that can keep the recipient young (but i don't want to do suprise blood libel so,,, i want more,,, vampirism, sucking the life from already struggling people or the royal's own children because they don't want 'ick' body. but i'm still working on this and really don't want blood libel. More willingly turning self into pretty frankenstien) It's also, not looked highly on! so if its done! not flaunted! except for those who are okay being scared and hated. the other, more common, among royals!nobles! is a sort of metal 'alchemy' where they fuse/weave their skin/muscle/soft tissues with metals or gems. But it's not how any are naturally born.

Naturally they are more tall, with point ears and long limbs. with color pallets that range from warm and cool greys to black, green, and blue. maybe some pink but that's more on albinism end (I think it colors the colors came first so the rest is me trying to justify colors and elves with silver eyes and gold lips. SO! crit~ideas welcome, if ya want mwah. more magical is okay too i'm just stuck. story fully involves a ghost who can become physical a bit and Can make Very Strange web of blue brains, v v loose science heavy fiction )

you're ideas for romance is very good too. i just need to stop being, embarrassed by the thing thats making me happy lolol. also love the deranged path, that would probably work really well + help with genuine responses that aren't just me clacking dolls together. I always worry that i'm making the characters boring, or doing what i want them to do. They don't know the plot! they should mess it up! if the romance did that, that'd be Cute, but these two weirdos are difficult (affectionate) ANYWAYS I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE YOUR RESPONSE!! and your elves put such a lovely image in my head. love the space arthritis + damage making them glitter. people who don't know them just see this beautiful being approaching, possible with more labored/intentional movements. others just see the most Life Hardened person. it's such a good idea you got!!!! my brain did make the crystal bits a dark blue, like,,,

or like a geode crack where a scar could be!! sorry, brain is a picture book. all in all!! love your brain!! thank you for sharing !!!!

[pinnakoladda]

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

24: Favorite constellation?

25: Favorite star?

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?

30: Favorite movie?

53: How are you feeling right now?

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

111: A question you hate being asked?

116: Favorite cloud type:

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

There are so many fun questions there bwagh get bombarded /silly

OH I LOVE ANSWERING QUESTIONS

5. razz, my brother and twenty one pilots

6. OMG IDK XDD i would be full of warning labels. like "danger! it bites" or "warning! it makes weird noises" or "be careful! it gets attached way too quickly"

24. i dont think i have one

25. same answer, im not really into space

30. BIG HERO 6 WITH NO DOUBT. also just like heaven?? cause i watched it for the first time when i as 6yo and just fell in love with it. i love good rom coms. spiderverse, bolt, inside out. i love disney/pixar cartoons! hotarubi no mori e!!! and the cat returns by ghibli

53. mentally better than i felt yesterday but still very meh. physically? worse than yesterday, no spoons, every step hurts, i am extremely tired, ticcing a lot because my tourettes decided a few days ago that i cant celebrate disability pride month without it </33 yeah, couldve been better

90. murl. stop pretending you dont know. a frog. alternative answers would be bat, crow or cat

104. aventurine, desert rose if it counts??, turquoise, obsidian

111. any random tourettes question asked by a stranger. "what is wrong with you" when im ticcing, or "why are you making these weird noises" or i still remember from my larp "is your whistling some larp mechanics???" NO ITS NOT, I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO EVERYONE I HAVE FUCKING TOURETTES SO THEY WOULDNT BE CONFUSED BUT ON THE OTHER HAND ITS SO OBVIOUS ITS NOT A MECHANICS IF I DIDNT EXPLAIN IT AS ONE EARLIER

116. altostratus

151. honestly? 1980s so i could see the rise of goth subculture and depeche mode and the cure

[nahalism]

i just quit my job, that drained me. It feels both bad and good, because I don't have another one lined up, but it takes out all my life energy. The energy of my coworkers is dark and bullying, it's disrespectful. One of them is giving me the chills since day 1 and has dark energy. I don't know if witchcraft is a thing, but I randomly saw a video about it, i think it was wizardliz and how she said you take that energy and get these thought w you, even if you don't want it, i was like, ok this is exactly this person. It's hard to explain. Anyway, in the end it's me allowing myself getting disrespected. It means I'm not in the right place. The darkness that it gives me, is pushing me to see the light. But still I feel bad, cause a lot of people need a job, want a job, and I threw it away after 4 years. I'm sorry for ranting in your inbox. I didn't tell anybody, because I know people talk me out of it, cause it's a good job and you need money right. But i feel like i'd hang myself, being around these people a day longer. I don't wanna say there's bad people, but it felt lke that and i know everybody that puts darkness on me, needs to find their own light and pushes me to find mine. But man, idk, i can't believe there are people like this. Who constantly talk and judge others, never check the mirror. I don't like labels ,but I use to question myself if I'm anti-social, autistic, weird, but I believe I'm sensitive to a point that it doesn't matter what anybody says or does, it's what i feel and if that isn't good, i can not be around you. I know someone who hurt me, but i know in my heart she didn't mean to. I guess she didn't know better. Despite that, I feel pure about her. Safe around her and I know she does with me. And then there're these people who claim to be good, acts of kindness, trynna hang w you, but then it feels off. Not pure. Not safe. Does it make sense? I know I will face more situations like this, but how do I deal with it. Do you have tips? Don't feel obligated to answer. I hope you are doing good x

heyyyy, first of all!!! congratulations on making a decision that makes you happy. you did something brave and took your future into your own hands. dont let outside noise, guilt, or fear move you from acknowledging that. there are always ways to make money, but our time here and what we do with it is finite so the quality of your experience matters.

i think you did a powerful thing trying to find how those negative experiences could teach you something or push you toward an experience of life you would rather have. as im sure you know, negative experiences are half the battle. mastering ourselves and our response to them is often the harder and more necessary task. however, knowing that can make leaving harder, cause not being able to 'rise above' and endure something tough can often feel like a failure to master yourself or those circumstances. that said, i think you did the right thing leaving a space that doesnt make you happy. as much as we can change ourselves, its not our job to change people, and at a certain point we have to believe and trust in what we feel. our feelings toward things are some of our indicators toward whether or not what we experience is aligned with us.

in terms of witchcraft. i know juju is a real thing but i dont give it much weight or credence simply because i believe like frequencies latch on to like frequencies. if its true that the universe is mental and we create our realities then those things that manifest in our lived experience have their root within us. — this is why 1) theres a deep meaning to 'no weapon formed against me shall prosper'. when you have conviction of yourself and your path, wayward energies cannot get to you or conquer you. if someone would wish you evil, but you hold no resonance toward that evil, or you have no fear/insecurity concerning their power over you, that evil cannot latch on to you and returns back to sender. — 2) (this relates to how you conduct yourself in the future), practice stilling yourself, knowing where you are going, and what your experience of where you will to go looks and feels like. then go forward. when you encounter people you disagree with, who trigger you, or who give you a similar vibe to the people you have just left, you can do one of two things. seek the aspect of you that identifies with them. (if you didn't identify or fear their ability to rub off on you, you would be able to tune them out or brush them off. soon they would cease to exist around you whether its them getting moved to another department, or you getting promoted etc) orrrr. choose to see them. understand that beyond the face they show you, they have different faces and aspects to them. who are they to their mother? their brother? their children. by seeing them in the full scope of their humanity you can remember that they are more than the aspect of them you see that aggravates you & in doing so treat them as you would treat someone you love. its a funny thing, cause that person could be an asshole to everyone else, yet the softest most generous person to you, because when we see people for who they are or even more than what they are, they usually respond in like mind.

wishing you so much luck and good fortune in your future endeavours. your effort will not betray you 💋

[starrysharks]

how do you go about creating characters and designs and a story for them?? im an aspiring character designer / storyteller and i looove your designs so im curious!!

when it comes to stories, i always try to imagine something that turns common tropes/things on their head ! like for ultimate excalibur, as its focused heavily on naval stuff, sailing and pirates, instead of regular ships on the sea, its all in space ! and for reassassination, the main character is a teenager, but her dramas are all mostly focused on assassinating people while juggling exams and rumors, so i guess it's kinda like a juxtaposition? for my stories i always get a lot of inspiration from other media (ult. ex is inspired greatly by the premise of one piece and other media and reassassination is very loosely inspired by panty and stocking), so it's good to broaden ur horizons when looking for new things to watch/play/read - you could find a new story idea from that!

for designs, i focus on three things: character personality, profession, and cool/cuteness factor. for example, musa marine - she has a bright and energetic personality, so her colors are bright and sunny (yellows and blues), she's a pirate, so her clothes are rugged, and she's more cool than cute to me, so 'cool' pieces of clothing are added like her big hat. other 'cool' character traits include V-CON's shades and clyde's scarf, but cuter characters like mina have other design traits like a starfish hairpin (who is also mina's manager!) i like to call these specific design traits 'the key point' - to me, theyre what make the designs unique! i use a mental 'cute - mix - cool' scale for that, but you don't need to if you don't want to! its just a weird thing i like to do ^_- but stuff like that is just the beginning!! when designing characters you have to take into account how they'll look next to everyone else in the cast - even if they have a similar color pallete to another character, they have to look unique while still being obvious as someone from your story's universe ! like, if i gave savory animal ears and plunked him into ult. ex, he'd look out of place because his sharp design and darker color scheme clashes with everyone else. speaking of sharpness, shapes are really important too! for my own designs, i like to take one or two shapes and apply those to as many aspects of the design as i can - like in my deep cut designs, i tried to focus on sharp, triangular shapes! shape language can help accentuate personality especially if you have a more cartoony/anime artstyle ! :D there are lots of people who are better than me at explaining character design/story stuff so i'd suggest you look at other guides or watch videos on how to write + design! also, this is just a me thing, but if i see a design or a story that i really like that inspires me to draw/write something, for the first few weeks/months of the development, i like to wear that inspiration on its sleeve if that makes sense? like it'll look *very* heavily inspired as it starts out - this is because i know that as the story develops, the characters/story will be redesigned to look unique ! like, when i first started writing starsaints carnival in 2021-ish, all the characters looked like rip-offs of characters from worlds end club lol ,, but as i redesigned the characters (3 times!!), they now all have (imo) unique designs while still looking inspired by wec!!

that's pretty much it about character design and story, sorry this is so long ;w; ,,, i just like talking about characters and stories,,, hope this helps !!

[meh-kris]

Nobody has been waiting for it but who tf cares??!! Anyways let's give it up for MY campcamp ship ratings !!! (And no im not adding the campers x counselors ships like maxvid bcuz istg if I hear it one more time I will fucking throw a truck at you) so yea let's go first with the adults

Gwenvid- 9/10 I'm honestly loving the dynamic between these two becuz like gwen is like the grump of the two and David's the sunshine that everyone adores and ugh its so adorable like cmon don't tell they wouldn't end up together it's overall cute

Danvid- 3or4/10 idk how to feel abt this because it's a bit odd to me I mean Daniel tried to kill David like yea but it would be a decent ship if Daniel wasn't THAT weird pretty meh ship tbh (sorry danvid shippers but ily)

Gwen x Jen- 4/10 I honestly never knew they would be shipped but I guess it would be nice but I don't think it's the best tbh

Daniel x Jen- 4/10 not bad of a ship idea but it's not my cup of my tea either

Jasvid- 10/10 it's such a wholesome dynamic tbh but good only if Jasper alive AU or kid versions it's cute ^_^

Okay camperinos time

Maxneil- 7/10 tbh it's not that bad of a ship it's legit nerd x edgy kid I can see it happening, not a big fan but I support it

Makki- 7/10 could possibly happen I mean I like opposites attract it's cute although max is a bit manipulative but they're nice to eachother so it's cute ig?

Maxpres- 6.5/10 I lowkey like this ship I have no idea why but it just seems interesting like the dynamic would be fun to watch but I have mixed feelings abt it

Neilson- 6/10 I kinda shipped this back in mind freakers but then I didn't really see it much but it would be a nice ship

Neil x Preston- 3/10 idek this ship existed but ig it does for me I guess it wouldn't be that bad but I don't rlly see it either

Neilki- 1/10 I don't like the ship because of parents day(ruined me mentally) would be better as siblings like nerdy bro and energy sis (gravity falls much)

Nerriki- 7/10 okay this would low-key be really cute like I love dynamics like this it would be a very awesome ship

Presnik- 6/10 haven't seen this ship much but it would be adorable tbh loud couple goals fr !!!

Nerrison - 100/10 tf your expect I MAKE ART OF THEM they are just the best ship in camp camp fr like their dynamic is good even as platonic or romantic it JUS WORKS I love how they bicker abt their interpretations of magic but they're still friends even if they don't admit it ITS SO ADORABLE ahem anyways they are my favorite

Harriston- 30/10 I love this ship sm!!!! The dynamic is so adorable they would be bfs fr like LOOK at them (even if they lack the interactions)

Presner- 9/10 20/10 okay don't get mad at me for this but I'm saying it WOULD be cute because they won't stop talking abt their intrests together but like idk it doesn't really hit me as much as nerrison and harriston does?? I mean yes they are pretty close to eachother in some scenes wait yknow what nevermind I'm giving them twenty

Nerriston- 101010209339390/10 yes.

Nurf x Preston- -15/10 this ship is toxic af actually all nurf ships are tbh so no.

Nerred? (Nerris and Ered)- 5/10 personally not a big fan of this ship but it could be a really good ship since they hung out in the show so it has some potential for me but not hitting the spot

Ered x Dolph- 0/10 fuck no Dolph is like what 8 yrs old and ered is (my hc) 14 ffs THATS SUCH A BIG AGE DIFF

Ered x Nikki- 2/10 Nikki probably has a crush on ered but those like childhood ones besides Nikki is like 10 yrs old ered is probably a teen so it doesn't work for me

Dolph x Space Kid- 7.2/10(yes that exact number) if they interacted a bit more maybe then I would ship them like it would be cute but platonically works too tbh

Space Kid x Max- 2.5/10 a bit toxic tbh :/ but like ig it's not bad also I wouldn't give this much if it wasn't wasn't the fact their VAs are married so yea

Space Kid x Neil- never knew this existed??? Not the ship for me sorry 1/10

Okay other camps too !!

Maxsha or smth- 5.5/10 I hc sash as a lesbian but if I didn't then I'd probably make it higher I guess they're like manipulative assholes who are dominant not bad tbh both have the power to rule over everything so I wouldn't mess with them

Sasha x Vera- 9/10 power couple fr they got along well so I think they'd date tbh not a bad ship (wlw solidarity)

Sasha x Erin- 7/10 idk what to think of this it is cute though idrc abt this ship much so yea

Sasha x Tabii- 3/10 a bit of a toxic ship imo becuz like Sasha is manipulative of tabii abit but overall not bad

Sasha x Pikeman- 4/10 dumbass x dominant one is hilarious to me but it doesn't really spark for me yknow it'd be a cool ship ig

Erin x Neil- 8/10 I actually really liked this ship because it was like smarties in love LIKE LOOK AT THEM if only Erin saw Neil's face while she was trying to see who liked her :(( Also malewife girlboss slay

Erin x Tabii- 7.5/10 I don't ship it much but I love their dynamic they would be with eachother 24/7 tbh it's a good ship

Erin x Snake- 2/10 it's a bit weird for me I feel like there's better people for Snake tbh so yea

Snake x Tabii- 6/10 eh ship but it would be cute cuz its like crazy girl and dude who's like woah she's so cool it would be very nice so yea

Tabii x Neil- 1/10 this ship makes me uncomfortable I'm sorry

Lastly my fave ship David,max and Gwen x therapy my fave 1000000000/10 <33

Okay folks gn it's literally 1:30AM in the morning for me so ysa byeee love you guys