#im sorry to vent on main i just need to let this out

[justagaymoth]

Sometimes I wish I was nuerotypical and orcompletely allo. I can handle being aspec if I wasn't wired abnormally. I wish I could want friends. I wish I could not get so exhausted in group conversations that after they end I can barely talk. I wish I could read normally because I love reading and stories but sometimes I just can't read and or comprehend. I hate having dyslexia I wish I could be a full time writer but I know that's not possible. I can barely write for a whole hour let alone 8 to 12 hours. I think I could handle being aro if I wasn't aplatonic and autistic. I could be okay with not liking romance IRL if I could love friends and have friends. Every time I try to have a friend I feel guilty because I don't love or like them or I really love them and want to kiss them. I love myself I just wish I could love others like I love myself. I'm so bad at communicating normally. I wish I was normal.

[skittlespizza]

AUGHHH

[nasa-is-shaking]

Good morning tumblr users, it's 8:39 and I'm already at my limit

[tbaluver]

So have an odd request for the L&DS men but bear with me. I'm kind of in a grieving process rn bc I just suddenly lost someone I love. MC also grieves in the main story so I request some comfort drabbles about the L&DS men consoling you while grieving if that's ok.

Consoling You While You Grieve- The Love And DeepSpace Men

parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader genre: comfort a/n: hi lovely, i'm so sorry for your loss. i know i may not have the perfect words right now, but im here for you. if you ever need to talk, vent, or just have someone to listen, don't hesitate to reach out. take all the time you need, and remember that you don't have to go through this alone. sending you all the strength and love during this difficult time ♡ ̆̈ and that also applies to anyone that is also going through a tough time right now! any likes and reblogs are always appreciated! enjoy!

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Xavier:

Once you told Xavier, he would hold you tightly. The type of hug that is comforting and the one that feels like he’s never going to let you go and that everything is going to be okay. He’s a good listener, never interrupting you, and offering his best advice as much as he could. If you needed some fresh air, he’d take you for a walk, holding your hand.

All Xavier knew is that he needed to be there for you no matter what and he didn't leave your side for a second. He’ll show up unannounced with favorite snacks, food, or distractions. He’ll bring in some new plushies he got from the claw machine to bring some comfort. He’ll bring some board games or new movies you both can do to distract you and he’ll wrap you both in a blanket.

All Xavier knew is that he needed to be there for you, never leaving your side. He’d show up unannounced with your favorite snacks, comforting food, or anything to distract you. He’d bring new plushies from the claw machine for extra comfort, board games, or new movies to keep you occupied. And he’d make sure you were both wrapped up in a cozy blanket.

He lets you cry for as long as you need, whether it took hours or more. He didn’t mind at all. You could stay in his arms or on his lap while you let it all out. He wanted to be someone you could lean on during this tough time.

He lets you cry for as long as you needed even if it were hours, he did not care. He’ll let you stay in his arms or his lap while you let it all out. He’ll be and want to be someone you can lean on during this tough time.

Zayne:

He would pull you into a comforting hug the moment you tell him what happened, placing his chin on your head as he rubs comforting circles on your back. He lets you cry it out as you sob into his torso.

He can tell you weren’t okay no matter how many times you told him. He can read you a little too well from the expression on your face.

He’ll do anything and everything he can to make sure you’re okay. He’ll come to your place unannounced almost every day, bringing your favorite takeout and bakery treats to make sure you’re eating well. He’ll stay and eat with you and sometimes he’ll even feed it to you to make sure you are full.

He'll let you cry it out all you want and he'll brush off any stray tears that came running down randomly. He'll make sure you drink enough water so you stay hydrated during this time.

He’ll make sure you’re getting some rest even though it might be difficult too during this time. When you are in deep sleep, he’ll slip out of bed to wash your dishes or tidy up any parts of the house to help you around a bit. He'll slip back into bed with you, enveloping you in a embrace so you don't wake up alone.

He is a good listener and he’ll do his best to comfort you whether through his actions or through his words. He’ll understand that you would want some space and he’ll respect that but he will check up on you once in a while to make sure you’re okay.

Rafayel:

He knows what loss is like and he knows it too well and that's something he would never wanted you to encounter.

He'll hold you the way he's always wanted to be held when no one was there for him. He cradled you in his arms, your head nested in the crook of his neck as you sobbed quietly.

He'll understand and accept any reaction that you had whether it was crying or feeling like you were numb or any anger. He doesn't take any of them personally but rather he was understanding. He'll try his best to distract you with things by taking you anywhere that would cheer you up.

He'll take you to the beach that might offer a temporary escape from your grief or doing some light activities with him.

He'll do whatever it takes to cheer you up even if suggest going to a cat cafe. He'll hide away his pout and scared expression so you weren't worried about him.

If you were comfortable with it, he'll help you find a way to honor or remember the person you've lost. He'll try his best to create a portrait or he'll help you make a collage that shares their stories or memories you had with that person.

Sylus:

He is immediately beside you, uttering sweet words that were dripping like honey as you cry into his chest. He brushes away your tears and help you calm down with his soothing voice, offering you advice and reminders. He would have no complaints that of the stains of tears on his clothes.

He'll always be right by your side, whether that means holding you in his arms or keeping your hands interlocked.

He encourages you often to lean literally and figuratively lean on him. He'll be your rock through this entire your process. He'd let you talk about it no matter how many times you have repeated it to him. He'll listen and listen and he'll talk about it with you.

He doesn't let you out of his sight. Like Mephisto is always watching you through your window and will notify Sylus if you weren't taking care of yourself properly. If he was away on business, he'll arrange for food to be delivered to you. When he was available, he'll call you to make sure you were doing alright.

If you have trouble sleeping, he'll hold you close and softly hum until you relax against him and drift off. Once you wake up, he'll still be beside you, until you're ready to get up. He'll join you in your self-care routine, even if it meant wearing those silly headbands, to help you maintain it and ensure you don't neglect your health.

[narwhalandchill]

how are we feeling about this project amber update

assuming this is in relation to childe bc who the fuck else JWDJWJKDJKW anon im so sorry if not. also so so sorry for how out of hand this got. i am simply unwell about him.

But! Well. there certainly are thoughts

(obviously 4.6 datamine of arle SQ and her voicelines; This Will Not Spoil Anything Abt The Main SQ Plot, i only discuss the relevant parts. also some p Heavy negativity towards fanon ooc at the start youve been warned dont @ me)

(i mean i didnt even read anything of the SQ but The scene w childe so idek the main plot of the quest rly either lmao. tho go at ur own risk if u wanna check the dialogue out; its the 2nd quest log but it does hint at the greater story)

TLDR: how i feel abt his appearance in a vaccuum? quite solid despite the briefness, actually. accounting for the way fanon is 100% likely going to be reading into this and turning it into the Lets Infantilize Ajax Even More 2024 championship? conflicted.

in other words; a certified labyrinth warriors moment - theyve expanded on childes character in a very interesting and quite a compelling way and while i Do like the potential in what im seeing from hoyos end theyve also done it so that its going to be misinterpreted to hell and back by fanon so i kinda have an immediate jaded love-hate moment going on JJWJDKJDKJWJDWKJ

its literally just labyrinth warriors flashbacks - that event has some of my ALL TIME favorite insights into who ajax is and how he views the world and himself but when the event came out all everyone cared abt was to warp it into baby boy stuck in scawwy paper boy dungeon dehumanizes himself by calling himself a weapon and doesnt love himself he is such a sad trauma meowkitten 🥺🥺so yeah

bc like lets look at this properly for a bit; okay he went back to fontaine to look for skirk still somewhat injured and waa waa my 286 month infant baby cannot Make decisions like that!!!!!11! which is to say. i am tired of him getting this shit every time.

is it smart of him to get on the move immediately with just the bare minimum of rest? no. do i like that hes straining himself before proper recovery? not particularly no. do i feel the particular need to psychoanalyze this grown man and feared warrior whos 100% survived Way Worse in Way More Extreme Situations for it? hell fucking no.

while not at all the course of action a medical professional would approve of. from childes POV its perfectly logical hes priorizing going back for skirk when its literally the FIRST TIME shes showed up in like. a Decade. when hes been looking for her all this time are you kidding me 😭😭😭 but fanon must keep fanoning for their widdle baby girl so what does a hater like me know

anyway. seething and venting over im gonna try to avoid bringing up how much i hate this kinda infantilization of ajax now im sorry for bringing it up so much on ur innocent ask anon KJWDJKWKJDJDKWJKD. neutral discussion moment. i Promise

so it seems that theyre going for the pulcinella-is-shady-about-ajax (and prolly his family) angle for good and like. personally for me as long as the only real source of that claim was scara (a cynical edgelord who doesnt believe in non-exploitative human relationships, mind you) i was rather skeptical towards just instantly drawing that conclusion, but well. with the scene in arles AQ it appears to be sth theyre building towards

i actually really fucking loved that scene bc while theres outsider perspectives (scara obvi; and even arles line for him has that vibe. and ppl still take that shit face value 💀💀) and a lot of fandom assuming childes like. completely clueless and naive and ignorant towards the potential risks involved with trusting pulcinella. this is actually a very clever demonstration of quite the opposite? and showcasing how despite his aversion towards schemes and lies hes still intelligent and knows the kind of people hes dealing with when it comes to his fellow harbingers

like. childe has a negative opinion of arle based on what pulcinella has told him about her because at face value many of her deeds are in heavy conflict with his values of loyalty and family. and because he does not have the further context behind her actions and what the HotH under her is really like. Obviously hed hold a very hostile and wary view towards arlecchino

(ESPECIALLY when with all this biased intel hes still going to run into kids from the house!!! and then hes going wtf? these are good kids. what the hell is that knave doing with them??? blink twice if you need help i will start a civil war for yall like thats how he is with kids!!!!)

so YES. pulcinella has given him if not false then at least misleading intel based on the political tension between himself and arlecchino and the wider HotH. and childes taken that at face value! sure! he is close with pulcinella of course he would!

BUT. THEN. he returns to fontaine and seeks arlecchinos help looking for skirk. and observes her behavior and modus operandi for himself as well as the kids. does he go "nah she must be just hiding the crazy evil shit i would never distrust pulcinella" and leave it at that when reality doesnt completely match his expectations?

NO. because when offered the opportunity through the traveler asking about the HotH childe immediately capitalizes on the opportunity to prod for answers and see if pulcinella is lying to him!!!!

and hes so fucking smart with the way he does it too???? i LOVE his intelligence. the entire thing is so simple yet elegant; it Completely relies on his reputation as the kinda gullible harbinger whod Never scheme or hide Anything to indirectly affirm or deny his suspicions. he doesnt Need to Pretend to care about the possibility of arle betraying the kids bc he genuinely does!! and when she pushes back against the accusation he doesnt Need to fake admitting to her that well, actually, its all just rumors so he could be completely wrong. and so on. like he navigates the entire thing so effortlessly. and whats the end result?

childe has Confirmation of pulcinellas possible ulterior motives in action AND that arlecchino is a much more reliable ally than he initially assumed. all the while appearing as just The Straightforward 11th. like obviously id need to hear it voiced first to be sure but in text it v much gives the impression hes almost kinda just. playing up the threats towards arle and being "dumb" on Purpose?? to get the answers he wanted out of arle without appearing like hes fishing for anything particular. and i just hhhhhhhhhhh

i love when he does this so muchhhh!!!!!! 😭😭 he doesnt need to become some machiavellian schemer to be able to strategize !!!!!! he avoids scheming bc he Dislikes it not bc hes incapable of it like this has Always been the case Since Liyue AQ and i love whenever they show that side of himm . my Beloved

so anyway. while i do still think the like "pulcinella is bad and has his family hostage" is still kind of a generic plotline and i hope the writing regarding the whole thing wont ultimately turn out to be sth That simplified and black and white. its p clear theyre doing Something with pulcinellas motivations and as they are. im Really glad theyre letting it show that childes not just some completely passive party being manipulated in this all. he Is thinking abt this stuff and his position among the harbingers. ig we shall see where it goes - not the greatest fan of the concept still, but canon text supports it becoming a thing way more than when it was just scaras word we had for it. hope theyll surprise me positively w how they go about it!

then briefly for the rest uhh

also loved arle and childe just shittalking the rest of the harbingers it was amazing. i wasnt expecting this kinda dynamic between them at all but its great lmao. also i wanna see childe hang out w the HotH kids

as for project stuzha; so we dont really get anything solid on it other than being summoned back to snezhnaya for it is apparently a Big Deal. but still very interested. let my man have his endgame significance Trust

childes appearance was obviously v brief ultimately but that was clear from his leaked linecount to begin with - i am pretty satisfied with what they seem to have done w him. like its not The Best but also i wasnt expecting his lore to get some massive expansion in another harbingers SQ . the worst i feared was that it was just going to be a flashback of arle returning his vision which did Not happen so massive W. i am super hyped to hear this scene voice acted proper and happy to see him again, i really hope he gets to appear at least once more in an interlude or dains quest or something before going on hiatus again but idk if thats too much to ask LKKWJDJWDJWD

also: i am never changing my namecard after this patch drops. oh my godddddddd its So Fucking Beautiful 😭😭😭😭

But. Yeah. lots of good stuff. unfortunately lots of it will get misinterpreted and fanon will get obnoxious about it. but i still love getting to see him again and i am speedrunning that namecard day fucking one mutuals and/or followers in EU please add me (UID 711090267) ill need coop buddies for the world bosses

thank youuuuuuu for the ask i hope this monstrosity of a monologue doesnt scare u off 💀💀💀

[frecklystars]

I'm sorry to make a vent post :c I hate being negative but I haven't been online in a couple of months and this kind of explains why + I really needed to let this out somewhere. TW for mentions of self harm and suicide mention, this vent post is a little bit heavy.

i havent been online for a couple of months now except one (1) time, and then i left again, just letting my queue post as always. my cptsd/depression/anxiety has been astronomical levels of Terrible. going offline just made me feel so so so much worse bc this is where i normally self ship and post my art. not blogging about my F/Os, not drawing them, not editing videos/not making gifs, feels... really really bad. self shipping is my main coping mechanism and not being able to self ship makes everything feel 50 billion times more hopeless. so I should try to get back into that habit again

its july. its gonna be my anniversary w/ the two F/Os who breathed life back into me when i was at my absolute worst. i should be really excited to celebrate an F/O anniversary for the first time in two years, but ive been... so... fucking miserable. the last few months i have been back into My Worst State Of Mind Ever. i have been having really bad days where im slipping back into planning how to end my life and self harming again like i did a year ago. this isnt an everyday occurrence as of right now, and rn as im queueing this post, i am not planning currently. but every other day i slip back into those old self destructive bad habits, so it's safe to say my depression is definitely Worse. im trying to figure out how to uh, hang in there. because i can't stop the source of the Thing that is causing me to feel like my only escape option is ending my life. this isn't just my mental health/a chemical imbalance in the brain making me feel this way, this is entirely situational and out of my control.

i know the source of my problem and why i feel this way, and i cannot control it. i havent talked about it on my blogs bc i dont wanna scare anyone, and i will NOT go into details here, but i havent felt safe in a very very very long time. i contacted the authorities back in January this year, i am planning to contact them again soon, but im afraid they can't do anything for me until things get worse than they already are. it sucks that you have to wait until things are literally impossible to get through until the authorities even CONSIDER helping you.

i have just been trying to take everything one day at a time and vent to a few close friends when i need to, but this has been so unbearably difficult to endure every single day. ive been dealing with this FAR longer than a few months, but regarding these last few months specifically, i feel like i haven't been functioning like a person. every single second i am just,,, scared and paranoid, this is the only thing i am ever thinking about because im so, so stressed. i dont WANT to think about it but i literally am incapable of having any peace. every few weeks, something scary regarding my situation happens, and makes my anxiety worse. i cannot tell you how scared ive been. im so scared every day that this is going to kill me, whether it's the actual situation that will kill me, or my own anxiety/fear will drive me into making an irreversible choice. which! i don't wanna do! i genuinely don't want to end my life, i just - i feel extremely trapped in this situation and i've felt very very very hopeless about it for a LONG ass time, and that shit weighs on you over time

my fear/paranoia has affected my self shipping, and self shipping is my main source of comfort, i cant lose it. i keep losing it. ive lost so much already i dont want to lose my F/Os all over again. i keep thinking there’s no point in self shipping because my F/Os would betray me or harm me in some way. i know they’re imaginary and they can’t hurt me IRL but like, from a self shipping standpoint, i can’t stop fretting over all of it being a huge trick. like they’re pretending to love me so they can betray me later. i can’t get any relief, I am having panic attacks all the time, my flashbacks are worse than ever. I can’t self ship and I can’t... function. i'm so messed up from everything that has been happening to me, i feel like healing is impossible at this point. i really hope that is just the severe anxiety/depression/ptsd talking. i hate being negative, i dont want to have such a pessimistic outlook, but it's just felt so... hopeless. like there is no point. but what am i gonna do, not try to feel things with my F/Os again? what am i gonna do, not self ship ever again?? i really have nothing else to do except try my best every day to get through this. or kill myself - and i dont wanna go down that latter road again bc its messy and it sucks and its expensive when you fail and i have permanent scars from the last time i failed two years ago, and i! want! to! get better! i dont genuinely want to die, i just want to escape my situation! this situation i am in should not be worth ending my life over. but i am scared all the time and that hopeless feeling is so heavy and it's just getting harder and harder to carry for so so so so long

i have friends both IRL and online who are trying to help me get back into a safe situation again, but there is only so much we can all do. so i just have to keep taking all of this shit one day at a time and just hope and pray some sort of miracle gets me through this. its been years so i really dont believe theres a way out anymore but i am just! agh!! fucking angry and sad and terrified 24/7 and sick of dealing with this, so i will keep powering through every day even if i gotta kick and scream the entire time.

ok anyway! im gonna stay offline for a little while longer (this is queued, if anyone is kind enough to reply/send an ask, i will try to respond when i return) but i will come back slowly but surely sometime maybe this week, next week at the latest. i at least want to celebrate my July 21st anniversary :( thats my most important one this year. i really really really need to get back into the habit of self shipping even if i dont feel much for my F/Os atm. i refuse to just lay down and take this, i want to at least try to feel something again even if it hurts.

thank you to those who have been patient with me with replies; tumblr says i have over 200 inbox messages and 99+ dms since ive been gone. i will try to get back to people slowly but surely, its just probably gonna take me a hot minute. if anyone has the free minute, if you can just send me something like "everything will be okay" in my inbox, i would super appreciate it 😭🙏 and thank you to anyone who took the time to read my ramblings.

[td-scenarios]

Okay same thing with Anne Maria but Heather, mean girl is so pretty.

Thank you so much (I loved the last one so much!)

OMG YESSSSS ur literally inside my head i swear <3 mean girl,,,, (also im gonna go w/ like s1 Heather since that dynamic seems the most fun to me :D )

Heather x f!reader where Heather isn't used to a girl crushing on her

Okay, let's be honest, Heather would act like it didn't phase her for the longest time

Like her "of course she likes me. I'm hot asf" mentality yk

She's a bad bitch she's gonna act like one

Okay with that out of the way

You've fallen for her

HARD.

Like, yeah, she's kind of a bitch to everyone around her and is extremely manipulative

But in your head, you could fix her (or decide you like the atrocities. either way, you love her.)

Really, it starts off relatively small. Your main displays of affection towards her were staying out of her way and just admiring from afar

Not close enough to be manipulated like Beth and Lindsay, but not far enough to be completely shit on like Gwen or Leshawna.

But slowly, it develops a bit more where you're just

"Oh no. It's not a simple crush anymore I think I really really like her"

So now, she is starting to recognize your presence within the game

You defending her whenever the other campers get on her ass

Never voting for her

Stumbling through your words everytime she talks to you

This is basically all it takes for her to notice that you like her more than in a friend way. Let's be clear, she's NOT dumb.

At first, she thought she could use it against you to get you out, but something about that idea seemed "illogical" to her

Heather decided that you'd be better to keep around instead of getting rid of you too early

Rookie mistake.

She may or may not start catching feelings back in the meantime

The way that you're willing to stand your ground against the other campers, the way you are pretty competent in challenges, not to mention the fact that you are somewhat bearable.

And, being Island Heather, she has no one she will willingly vent to besides the confessional and she did NOT want the people at home knowing a vulnerability of hers

So the gay thoughts™ stay pent up and attack her like crazy

This is when she starts to think that she NEEDS to get you voted off

You are messing up her game and by God if she loses that prize money just because the most attractive girl she has ever met is on this island she will just about murder someone

Any move you try to make on her from this point onward will be ultimately thwarted since she will make the most distance between the two of you as possible

Everyone else had seemed so EASY to get voted off, but you. You were just too perfect in her eyes. She couldn't think of any possible weakness that she could use to get you voted off and it was driving her insane

There is no happy ending here unless you get voted off I'm sorry. It's just her character to not positively commit to anybody while also participating on the show

But once you do get voted off

Her game on the show would only improve. Her only motives being the money and getting to see you again

She doesn't get the money

But you end up being the only person who doesn't laugh at her shaved head and that only allows the two of you to grow closer

(I'm so sorry if this is worse than the usual imagines i write </3 im kinda out of practice AS YALL KNOW qwq)

[dragon-queen21]

HIII MEE AGAINN i need to talk about baby giyuu because im a sucker for him and he NEEDS more agere content

this ones also kinda sad because, im sad, giyuus sad, we are all sad, yknow?

-hmmm i dont know im a sucker for the idea that he wouldnt know he particularly regresses until someone finds him like that and after taking care of him, the moment hes okay and big again they have to explain that no giyuu, your not just tired. your tired AND a age regressor. and that being SHOCKING for giyuu man, my boy has self loathing thoughts on a good day, imagine hin having to come to terms with his brain making hin act like a baby for a while is probably worse than finding out he was a hashira (haha manga moment)

- and in that case,, vent regressor ☹️

most of the time he wont be little until hes too foggy to do anything he needs to, and then that accompanied by the fact he thinks no one likes him, so now hes lonely and hes too little he thinks to be alone, ah, this is a recipe for a meltdown huh?

him on a mission with one other hashira or something on a time where he is too foggy, and he makes a big mistake and the other person there gets mad at him , and starts yelling at him saying that that mistake could have cost them their lives, not entirely in a bad way, the others just concerned for him because tomiokas not the kinda guy to make a big mistake like that. and giyuu is not in the right place to be scolded like that and just bursts into tears, like straight up wailing, covering his face, kicking his feet, and the other one there is confused, why is tomioka having a.. dare they say tantrum?

^i feel like after alls well and good, hes big again, hes apologized, he realizes just how important it is to take care of his little side.

- i feel like tengen would be a good cg for him, also would probably be the first to know giyuus a little. amazing hearing and all, could probably hear baby babbles from a couple miles away, and at first hes like oh i wonder who that is 🤔🤨 yknow in a suuppeeer gossipy way because, we all know he gossips come ON now, but when he makes his way to the water hashiras estate hes like oh! oh. and now hes confronted with A) go inside and take care of him or B) leave and never speak of this again.

spoiler alert, he picks A. i mean, assuming giyuus little here, it wouldnt be that hard, i mean, his wives are littles too its not like hes not expierenced, and giyuus not exactly too much to handle so..

OH MY GOD THIS WRAPPING AROUND TO THE FIRST POINT HERE WHATT “im a sucker for the idea that he wouldnt know he particularly regresses until someone finds him like that” IM JUST LIKE THWT no can you see i have like the same three ideas in my head

- anyhow i feel like giyuu would be a not only a smaller regressor but definitely a easy going kid. he does NOT have the energy to do anything else but sit and babble, maybe on a good day he’ll even play with some toys (tengen bought him) (tengens his main cg for a LONG time)

- i think he’d go to a few meetings, uh, not quite little but foggy, a indication he needs to be little. on those times he wont really, listen to the master, just nod his head with ecerything he says because he does not trust himself to talk right now, and will normally ask shinobu for everything important when hes big again.

it does not go well when kagaya (i think, the master) asks giyuu a question and giyuu is fighting demons to not only answer, but answer without slurring words. he thinks ge did pretty good, untill the other hashira are giving him strange looks, and tengen has a look of sheer “oh godohgodohgod” and hes big enough to know hes absolutely cooked

OKIEIM DONE IMDONEBYAYYYYY well oh no because this is so sad um!!!!!!!? sorry?!!! most times these asks go based off my mood sorry for making giyuu a angst fest!!!! byeeeeee

📷

I do know. Do you know how much of my angst writing comes because I’m once again depressed? Well let me tell you, it’s most of it. Y’all should see my ao3 haha. Agere angst is some of my favorite things to write about :3

You and me 🤝 projecting onto characters

~~~

~Giyu: “No no, I’m just tired. Nothing else. Maybe a bit dissociative.”

The pillar that found him: “no, no you’re definitely regressing”

~Giyu pushing himself to the very limit because he’s already a burden, acting like a child, not having control over the way his mind fogs and he wants to do nothing more than curl up in someone’s lap and cry. But Shinobu reminds him that everyone hates him, acting like a baby won’t help even if her words hurt more than anything and Tanjiro’s hurt, his baby brother who he failed to protect, and he fails everyone around him, and why can’t he just be a child when everything was okay and simple…

~at the very least he has to do something to manage the headspace. So he lets himself be small, but do nothing more than sit and wallow in the feeling. He doesn’t deserve to be comfortable.

~Tengen finding out he’s a regressor (why him? because dad Tengen obviously :3 ) and trying to buy the little comfort items like blankets and a pacifier

~Oh hey lol I wrote this part before reading more of what you wrote. XD Can you tell I have a one track mind for my favorite characters?

~Giyu just lets himself go with whatever is happening around him, not enough energy to put up a fight. The only thing that might happen is he would start crying if he got overwhelmed

~What that’s such a good plot reference. Giyu trying to hide his regression and being like “I’m doing a great job, no one suspects a thing.”

~Tengen meanwhile: Dying. Actually dying of not only second hand embarrassment but also of the urge to grab his boy and take him far away from the disaster that is no doubt about to play out before him

[hawnks]

mints do you think its necessary to have some kind of education in order to be good at writing?

like im not saying ya gotta have a phd in english, but sometimes i feel really plain and like my ideas and styles are not complex bc i never had proper higher education even though im well into my 20s.

ive always loved learning and read a lot in my spare time, but school has always intimidated me and was a big source of anxiety so i never went back (also, no funds/time atm).

I just wanna write for a little audience like friends and moots, but even with them i get really self conscious in the end i dont let them into the worlds i curated for us. as if its not good enough to share so they stay tucked away in the wips folder forever.

any advice or consolation? sorry this got long and winded 😭 i appreciate you just reading this to the end tho ❣️🌷

As someone with two degrees in writing, let me tell you: you don’t need it.

When I lead workshops, I like to remind writers that they are capable of writing a Good Story as they are now. Do not hold the story you want to tell out of your own reach because you’re waiting for some nebulous future, where you are worthy of writing it.

It’s yours—it’s in your hands already.

It seems like you have some stuff written already, so my main question for you is: what are you asking of your work? Do you want more stories about your specific interests? Do you want fame? Do you want to find a community? Do you want to vent your deepest darkest secrets? Do you want to share your love of something?

Whatever it is you’re looking for, you can’t find it by hoarding what you make. I know moving forward is scary — but entropy is scarier.

[proshippers-against-censorship]

-> long winded rant ahead soz xx

im a 17 y/o proshipper (i refer to myself as neutral sometimes) and ik we're all in the same boat here but im someone who hasn't been groomed or assaulted at any time in my life and im very grateful for that but im someone who interacts w antis a lot on my main twt and a lot of the times I'll see posts that call people who r proships freaks and that they're weird or somethings deeply wrong w them,,,

I kinda take it to heart (esp bc I have low self-esteem, and im working on it), and it kinda makes me doubt myself and think that maybe i am weird or like a freak bc like.... idk there's no "reason" (not to say that I think being groomed or assaulted is a good "reason" to be a proshipper i know this is a slippery slope and I'd never want to mean anything like that but ik how this is coming off rn im sorry 😭 but thats not my intention at all im just wordinf this badly) that I have for being a proshipper and that maybe I'm just some like perverted incel loser who gets off on this shit or whatever whatever blah blah blah who gaf but it's just so AVHAHSUHHH it's so frustrating that i let what they say get to me and I hate that I feel like this and there's not really a point to this it's just been bugging me for a while but idk man.. it just sucks to see antis say that type of shit and then turn around and say not to send death threats or shit to people it's like how can u sleep at night knowing that you said something like that to some1 like idk that doesn't sit right w me idk

also I'm sorry if hwta I said early implies that you need like some tragic reason or something to be proship I truly do not believe that and I didn't know how to word it the best way bc I do see a lot of people who went through something like that turn to proshipping as a coping mechanism and for me it's just not like that so i always feel like im a bad person for it..? idk what I was trying to say I'm really just venting here so im really sorry I know this is out of left field tumblr is the only place I feel okay w interacting w proship stuff and I feel pretty safe and comfy here bc on twt its a DUMPSTER FIRE so I hope that what I'm saying comes off in the way I intended 🙇

sorry for da yap 🦒💯

.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey Cas, this is my first ask so I don't really know how to word it, but I think I just need to put my thoughts down even if no one ever sees it.

To start, I'm and in eighth grade and it's my first year of actually changing classrooms and having different teachers for every class bc my school is weird, and I've always been told I'm pretty smart and mature for my age and I think it kinda puts pressure on me.

It probably sounds pretty weird but because my parents know I'm and my whole family including aunts and grandparents always got like some of the highest grades in the state and I feel like if I don't get good grades in almost everything I'll have disappointed them, even though rationally I know that my parents don't care.

The main problem I think is my Japanese class because I've missed heaps of school because I kept getting sick for the last term and I also had school camp and I feel really behind.

The rest of my class already had a test where they had to have a conversation to introduce themselves to the teacher and I missed that but I don't know any of the vocab for it anyway.

This afternoon I was just watching something because I got sick again and I just started to cry and take short breaths and I feel like I was on the verge of a panic attack for 20 minutes before ei wound up the nerve to start making flash cards.

Ik this is already pretty long but Im also worried about my friendship with my best friend who I've been friends with since year 1.

She hasn't acted any differently and she's probably just forgetful but I'm always the one arranging the catch ups (she goes to a different school) and I genuinely can't remember the last time she reached out to arrange a meet up and I'm just kinda worried.

Sorry it's so long I think writing it down has already helped me.

Thx.

Hi!

It sounds like you have a lot of pressure right now and a lot of things worrying you. Do you have any coping mechanisms to help let out some of that anxiety? I think it's really important for you to be gentle with yourself and take care of yourself by taking care of yourself, you know? Scroll tiktok, write, draw, play videogames, whatever makes you happy, but know that those things are okay and important because relaxation is important <3

You're also welcome to vent to me any time <3

[gorefreaklintjrwi]

INRTO POST!?!???

HELLO CHAT!! i am mouse, or william, or rat, or just like. whatever you know me as, i have so many names!! trying out snook and trout as names right now :3 feel free to stick with one or go all over the place im chill with anything. some. some may even call me ratmouse

i use any pronouns! my preferences change sometimes, but rn it's he/she/any. and i also fw squeak/squeaks/squeakself and ey/em/eirs Severely at the moment

i am a minor

^ funny little guy by @/okcoolthanks

pronouns/name page

i talk about jrwi among other interests and my ocs/writing

i also run a few roleplay blogs (@number1cloudspirefan lint jrwi) (@linen-bakes-pastries linen jrwi [lint's mom]) (@head-in-the-guitar my dnd character) + a few others i am not tagging as well as the @slimecicle-quotes blog (I AM SO SORRY FOR NEGLECTING YOU SLIMEQUOTES. I WILL RETURN ONE DAY)

tags + blinkies and stuff under the cut

my tags:

my art will probably be tagged with #ratmouse art

if im just saying stuff (which i love to do) i will tag it with #ratmouse talkshow

#ratmouse mailbox is for answering asks :D

the creatures will be tagged with #ratmouse pets

#ratmouse writing when I write the things it goes here

i save posts in #ratmouse save this

#ratmouse tire when i need to sleep but dont (usually starts at 11pm)

#ratmouse sorrows is my vent tag because i vent on the main a tad too much

I also post a lot of lyrics so if you see the tag #lyricposting im going insane again

-

also we're a system! if you see #lint speaks on a post, he's being let loose. he/they for them

troy also is here sometimes. she/his for that creature. and also the tag #troy talks

music that i like: Will Wood. Naethan Apollo. Modern Baseball. Los Campesinos! The oh hellos. The crane wives. cshr. weezer. AJJ. tally hall. mitski. Bears in trees. Houndmouth. other stuff

stuff that i like: just roll with it the absurdly powerful dnd podcast, qsmp, generation loss, twd telltale games (they are everything to me i love these games i replay them OFTEN), scu kinda, mcyt, chnt, dndads, hilda, school bus graveyard webcomic

i may reblog gravity falls, amphibia, and the owl house related posts too, though i wouldn't really consider myself to be in those fandoms

used to read warrior cats books (might possibly get on that again because of my cousin)

^ image made by @/s0lar-ch3ri

[violentlyexplosive]

not to be Vulnerable On Main, but I'm going through it and need to vent my thoughts into the internet aether where i can pretend the people reading it aren't real. um. trigger warning for sad animal stuff and some mentions of blood, sh, and sa.

pet loss is so weird. like. i keep waking up at 5 am, half asleep, like "ah yes, i have to get up and let the dog out now" but then there is no dog. i had never had her as my phone background until she died. i keep looking to the couch every time i walk into the living room and there is no dog there. i look behind myself when i move around the kitchen so i don't step on her but there is no dog behind my feet. i go on a walk every day at 8 pm because i cannot fathom a routine without her. every time i pass the neighbourhood kids i hold my breath, cus is this going to be the time they ask? am i going to have to explain to a gaggle of six year olds that the dog had to go away? where she went? am i going to have to be the one to say it because my father is older and softer now and will cry? do i get to cry?

I've never been close to my extended family, and it's always baffled me when others would talk about grieving their grandparents. somehow a part of me views it as, idk, a lesser grief? not in the sense that i don't believe you should grieve your family members, no matter how many degrees of separation between your bloodlines, but because it is simply not something i have or will ever experience as a product of my upbringing and culture. i already struggle with empathy on a good day, having been medicated since pre-puberty, and i just can't... understand this form of grief. i do not think less of it, i just can't find the shape of it.

and i feel sort of similar in this? like. this stupid fucking dog was in my life from 13 years old to nearly 21. she saw me through ugly, awkward haircuts and acne and my first bad period and watched me harm myself and come home traumatised with invisible hands tattooed onto my skin forever. we got her to help me with my debilitating social anxiety/agoraphobia and depression. she got me out of the house and forced me to talk to people to explain "oh I'm sorry, she barks at men, we think she was abused as a puppy" and laid in bed with me when i was too sick or pained to get out of it. and in return, i held her during thunderstorms and fireworks, wiped her mouth and ass when she threw up or pissed the bed. i slept on the couch with her when she couldn't make it up the stairs after surgery, then again years later when she got too old and sick. i hand fed her when she didn't have the energy, i spit water into her mouth when she couldn't get up to drink it herself, i kissed her little, golden head every time she gagged on the pills i had to force down her throat because no amount of ham or cheese or peanut butter could make her swallow them. she was clever like that, in the dumbest ways possible.

and it's so fucking weird without her. i never realised how much my routine revolved around her until she wasn't there to cry at me to feed her anymore. and i feel stupid for feeling so broken up over a dog of all things. like i said, a lesser grief. animals come and go, i know this. have known it since i lived in the countryside and saw my first dead deer, since i had to kill an injured bird for the first time. i knew she was going to go, and i knew it was going to happen soon. i knew the moment the vet called to say she had blood in her tummy because i hung up and screamed. i screamed. over a dog? over the one thing in life i knew how to love right.

i dont know. I'm ovulating, and it's been officially seven days since she said goodbye, tail wagging to the very fucking end. it's too quiet at home, and my mother (mentally unstable narcissist that she is) is already talking about wanting to get another dog. we have a 12kg bag of food and two pallets of canned stuff that came a couple days after she went, that im going to donate. i carried the 40kg ball of fluff and blood to the vet, 12 is nothing after that. i take solace in the fact that i believe in god not in the abrahamic way, but that god is the universe and everything within, and that energy cannot be created or destroyed, meaning she's still out there somewhere. maybe if i listen really hard I'll hear her again.

[jyakkopotto-saddo-gaaru]

「ただお前は孤独な一匹さ

その声を聞かせてくれ」

important: please tag any posts with young children (<11) explicitly shown being hurt with #rock don't look. mentions / implications are fine, and its okay if you forget sometimes!!!

hi. you can call me rock. or beffy ig. my pronouns are it/he/they, i prefer it or he

i am also a minor.

(box by @/lgbtq-userboxes)

(by @lillie-of-the-valley)

(userbox by MEEEEEE :3)

(blinkie by @hiddencircus)

(@milaxan7)

in gendered languages, flip a coin!! i'm acespec, and have no romantic or sexual attraction. i still make sex jokes sometimes tho

(layout by @cruelestcolor here)

I WOULD LIKE TO BETA READ !!!!!! reach out to me through dms or asks and I'll see if i can!

i am verrrry neurodivergent. just super off-the-wall audhd depressed apathetic sad boy who probably has several other conditions unbeknownst to it

list of sideblogs here

#my personal heritage posts - means posts that shaped my psyche

#and then the queue queued everywhere - queue tag (i might forget)

#bam !! band - my prsk oc unit!! i might call it bamu or b!b sometimes

#i speak - my posts. they usually are funny

#it speaks - asks

#urgurg - vents, i almost never make these

#writes boobily - my writing in any capacity. poems, fics, just little cute stories, just little sad stories, any of it

uuuhhhh ask me if you need me to tag anything specific! I'll try to remember and i almost always tag tws but if i forget im sorry!!!

the fandoms i interact with are:

utdr (a lot but less recently)

in stars and time (often)

omori

everhood(sometimes)

vocaloid

pjsk (my main fandom at this point)

bandori (if anyone posts about it ever)

ddlc

bsd

other stuff sometimes

favorite characters:

Minori Hanasato (pjsk)

Mizuki Akiyama (pjsk)

Mirabelle (isat)

Siffrin (isat)

Kris Dreemurr (deltarune)

Noelle Holiday (deltarune)

Sayori (ddlc)

Tomori Takamatsu (bandori)

Kasumi Toyama (bandori)

Anon Chihaya (bandori)

Atsushi Nakajima (bsd)

+ more but lets not get into that

stuff i like but they aren't really fandoms:

music

writing

art

funny stuff (shitposts)

dni if:

you're racist,

xenophobic,

homophobic,

transphobic,

ace/arophobic,

exclusionist,

sexist,

a terf,

you call yourself a "proshipper" or "antishipper" (we dont do that here)

a "MAP" supporter,

just a jerk.

okay anyway, just ask me random questions, important or no. i'm desperate for parasocial interaction.

pjsk id: 491248862040817667 (tell me if it doesn't work. feel free to friend me! if you feel weird doing that you can ask to be friends through my inbox or smth i like playing w ppl oUo)

en id 3 (the other one disappeared in the storm /j i just wont use it for a good while lol): 543507235729326088

JP id (1): 527547982754889730 (i use this one most often)

my ao3 is a-rock-nothing-else, and I have exactly two(2) fic.

(ps, I WELCOME BLORBOTAGGING. even on vent posts lol. and if i ever make you uncomfy, please tell me and ill change my behavior accordingly!!)

「ただお前は孤高の一匹さ 今だ��通り越してゆけ」

[spookythesillyfella]

hello spooky :) since I can't go anonymous here (you know i'm @thecultoflove .. this is my dreaded main account) i just want you to know truly that i love you more than you could ever realize. i see you like a younger sibling and even though we haven’t known each other that long, it’s always such a joy seeing you pop up in my feed. i know things have been really tough lately.. i see your pain and feel those wounds with you. i’m not here to tell you to just “get over it” or promise that “it will get better” because honestly, i don’t know when things might improve before they get harder. but one thing i know for sure.. you’ll never, ever be alone. you are incredibly talented and so deeply caring. when you reached out to me during my worst moments, your words were so powerful. even though i'm still going through a lot, please know you can always, always reach out to me if you need someone to talk to. i genuinely want you to hold your head high. let your feelings flow freely, never apologize for venting, grieving, or feeling hurt. you deserve to be heard and cared for. thank you for everything you’ve done for me... - Doll 💌

hi doll !!!! im super sorry that im answering this late ahaha ≠w=

to tell you the truth . ive been keeping this in my inbox because ive been reading it over and over again – it means a lot to me that you'd send me an ask unprompted since i don't typically get those ahaha !!!

im glad that you see me as a younger sibling . genuinely – i see all of my friends as siblings to me and so it means a lot to have the sentiment reciprocated <33

but . dearest . please don't waste your breath and your time on me !!! im always just being dramatic and silly about my feelings !!! in truth . i really am just being a huge attention seeker whenever i post about my feels – i can always deal with these things on my own !!!

i love you soso much and what would make me the most happy is seeing you living . for you're such a brave individual and you're so strong by merely existing !!! you deserve the whole world and even more than that !!! i wish i could spend all my days supporting you . because you're seriously so sweet and wonderful !!!

thanks again for your concern and for the ask . but please don't worry – ive done this before and ive turned out fine 💌💌💌

[aphrodite-made-me-write-it]

hihi are you still continuing everything stays?

hi lovely!

unfortunately i dont think i'll be doing any more imagines any time soon, but if i do, i'll be sure to bring out the proper fanfare

if you like bishova and wandanat, i am in the works (very distant works) of a fic w a similar vibe on my ao3, which is now going to be entirely fanfic that isn't self-insert but you can still find some of 'em on there if you're signed up though this blog is your best bet to find all of them.

however, if you wanna stick w imagines that's totally fine and here's some awesome authors you should follow if you don't already!

@abbyromanoff (they're still new-ish to posting/writing here so make sure to give them extra love and they were a longtime follower of my blog so i mayyyy be a lil biased hehe)

@scmg11 (another longtime follower and semi-new poster (i think) so also give em extra love!)

@cinamonqirl (kate bishop exclusive writer, i think they've also followed me for a while haha but they got some great kate fics)

@maximoffwitch (quality smut content)

@marvelobsessed134 (also quality smut. sorry, i am apparently always horny)

@caroldantops (longtime fav of mine)

@reminiscingtonight (another longtime fav of mine)

if i forgot about you, im sorry, let's use this as an opportunity to shout out some writers! im sorry i'm not writing imagines so much anymore, but i might turn back to em bc they're a good way for me to exercise my writing and my brain. who knows.

i hope you guys are doing okay! even though im not on here so much, this inbox is always open if you need to vent and if you need fic recs! i love you guys so much and im so thankful for the love you show for my writing, even now. when i get them lil notifs in my email i get so much goddamn serotonin in my system

if you want, you can follow my main blog (which is multifandom and just kinda nonsensical, i usually go on weird tangents in tags) @bluebipples ooooor if you wanna read my bishova (and maybe future wandanat?) fics, you can follow my other writing/fic blog @sapphroditewrites though they're all gonna be on ao3 and only available to read if you're a member. im pretty sure somewhere on this very blog is me stressing over the aipocalypse

alright, enough about me and you, if you're a writer or have a writer you love for imagines, please feel free to shout them/yourself out!