#im sorry if just me saying THIS and nothing else is infuriating to some people
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I have a trauma head cannon for Will
but it’s kinda out of pocket
not even in the sense of “trauma because siblings died”
like obviously I believe he has trauma from all of his siblings dying
but I also have another trauma head cannon for him, and like…
i dont even really know why or how my brain decided “yes, this is the trauma that he would have”
because it’s not influenced by the cannon AT ALL
and I want to make that VERY CLEAR
but because of that, I’m not sure if I want to share it
:/
so if anyone wants to hear about my dark head cannon trauma for Will Solace that is NOT INFLUENCED BY THE TEXT WHAT SO EVER/srs
I guess interact with this? Idk
or just ignore me
I’m brain dead
(Edit : I wrote the headcannon/fanfiction in a reblog of this post if anyone who finds this wants to read it, just fyi, it does get a bit intense and could be triggering for some people)
#will solace#will solace headcanon#im sorry if just me saying THIS and nothing else is infuriating to some people#I’m just very hesitant cause this headcannon is just straight out of left field#I again don’t know why my brain is like “ah yes THIS makes sense that it would happen to him”#I should probably just make a second post after this so people don’t get angry#Anyway#william andrew solace#solangelo#My head cannon partially has something to do with Nico#Just in how Will handed his relationship with Nico after he gets his trauma#I am trash#i am awful#Sue me
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𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 & 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖𝐒 & 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐒
𝖼𝖺𝗇'𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝖿𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗆𝗒 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝖻𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎? 𝖼𝖺𝗇'𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗆𝗒 𝖾𝗒𝖾𝗌 𝗅𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝖺𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎? 𝖼𝖺𝗇'𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗂 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎?
ׅ ꢾ꣒ find the MASTERLIST here.
PREVIEW. you always get what you want, spoiled with the love of everyone around you. and it's all innocent love, at least that's what everyone thinks. it comes with much surprise therefore, when heeseung makes a move on you. thirteen long years of being in the brother zone having made him utterly clueless that if he’s going to date you he has to pass through your actual brothers first. and he knows how scary they can be. especially since they are known to have a sister complex and he’s been the third scary one with them, numerous times before.
𝐈 check out the PROFILES.
PLS READ THE CONTENT BELOW ALL THE CHARACTER INFO IS LISTED IN JUST THIS ONE POST !
𝐈𝐈 tune in to the CHARACTER INTERVIEWS ( given by the characters themselves ! )
CHOI YN 20 ( fashion ), well what do i say? hello everyone i'm choi yn! im sure everyone knows me already ^^ .. what else do i say? hmm i love my life a lot! i love my brothers and heeseung and wonie so much, they are the closest people in my life! oh shit sorry riki too hehe oops. college has been fun since im doing exactly what i wanted and it's fun to hangout with won all the time. seungie brings me snacks all the time and binnie lets me eat cakes everyday even though junnie has scolded them not to cause i easily get dental problems and then he has to convince be to go to the dentist, eww.
LEE HEESEUNG 23 ( film ), if you ever stop hearing from me, please know that my day has come and i have chosen to be exposed. as much as jun and soobs love me, and as much as they love tiny(my yn, she's just real cute) if i ever dare speak of that kind of love with tiny in the same sentence it's my last moment on earth. jay and taehyun help a lot and i'd give everything to thank them for it but man they still haven't been able to actually help me get with yn?
CHOI SOOBIN 24 ( law school ), yes my sister is my everything, each one of her wishes no matter how stupid and idiotic they are, must be fulfilled. i think i was like ten when ynie said being a lawyer would be so cool, and it's been my life's motto now. law school kicks my ass yeah but whenever i think of how happy she'd be to see me as a badass lawyer it feels like nothing. i could easily help her win the divorce that's a plus point, i think i should start looking into divorce attorney things.
CHOI YEONJUN 25 ( model ), i swear scaring away my baby sister's admirers is one of my full time jobs besides runaway modelling but alas she is my sister of course she's a beauty. i know she will date and marry a motherfucking guy one day, and i won't be able to stop it but i hope that day takes the longest time to come. she was one of the first ones to say how good my dressing style was, if it wasnt for her i would not be one of the rising faces in the fashion scene today.
PARK JAY 22 ( music production ), being lee heeseung's childhood friend has been my life's greatest downfall. and being his emergency contact number one is probably the biggest mistake of my life. it's so so so infuriating to see him do nothing and panic over the fact that some might sweep her off her feet right before his eyes like fucker you gotta sweep her off her feet rather than worrying over how someone else might sweep her off her feet. taehyun probably understands me.
SIM JAKE 22 ( physics ), it's fun, so so fun i can not express it verbally man, 'm having a blast! there's so many new things to learn i am so happy with my major and my astronomy club thing is going so well too, it's been amazing so far. the only thing i dont like is my mates ignoring me, like i tell them about all these quantum mechanics things and how it's works like it's legit the coolest thing ever and they don't wanna listen me and then come to me for help with assignments like dude? there's no give and take here and it's not high school anymore? but i do it cause im nice :)
PARK SUNGHOON 22 ( communications ), first of all i gotta thank my man taehyun for letting me copy off of him to pass my semesters so far. as a full time commercial and photoshoot model, college is just a side quest for me at this point, just need an arm candy degree to show that i am infact educated contrary to what people think. oh and i'd like to tell this, don't tell anyone, i actually know all the drama going on and it's so funny but i gotta stay low if i wanna be safe. sometimes i do think of stirring things up but yeonjun man he scares me, i better be on his good side.
KIM SUNOO 21 ( journalism ), for real god am i the only one working my ass off here cause why the hell all these dicks be fucking up their lives and copying off people to survive like? look at me, every little gossip on campus and you know who to go to get the full info! exactly how it should be for a journalism major. i swear i am doing all the shit ass work here. i admit i slip sometimes especially with heeseung's secret in front of god forbidden yn but 'm just a human, and humans make mistakes yk? and please tell kai to fuck off please, thank you.
YANG JUNGWON 20 ( fashion ), it's a different feeling when three guys trust you with their precious sister. and it's a different feeling when that precious real spoiled girl treats you like the best buddy she could ever have. but it's not so fortunate when you gotta dash to protect anytime the brothers ping you, it's like a national secret agency part time job and it's the hardest thing when the target is someone like yn. i treasure her a lot, as a friend! yes, yet the times when her brothers get jealous of me are some of the most nerve wrecking times.
NISHIMURA RIKI 20 ( photography ), are we surprised here? no wtf have y'all not seen the pics i post on my twt like i got talent you have to accept it. especially a lot of talent in gaming and luck, my luck be through the roofff. just started lol a year ago and my YouTube Chanel six months ago and im already almost a diamond and about to hit a million subscribers.. talk about god's favorite! ha that's me. but the thing is more than that i wanna be yn's favorite like i know she says won and i are same but i know that kitty is closer. for now i like being glued to yn, but after figuring out things so easily it's hard to keep quiet.
CHOI BEOMGYU 23 ( film ), with the amount of hate train behind me it's a miracle i am still breathing and in one piece. praying all this ends quickly and my life is returned back to me or i'll go crazy it has been like what two? three? years already! i need my freedom. i can count and name with my fingers the people who hate me. actually no it's everyone. anyways, i share all classes with heeseung and lord is it the scariest part of my life. at least yeonjun and soobin would need time to hunt me down but lee heeseung? he's right behind me two rows, staring down my every movement. look it's not my fault okay?
KANG TAEHYUN 22 ( communications ), it wasn't consensual. it is very important to clear this up. i did not give my papers to park sunghoon by choice. he had to pay me hefty for that so there's no thank you man, dude is pretending. and i am fucking sick of covering for heeseung all the time like dude grow balls, real balls dig up some manly guts and fucking do it before i lose patience and fuck shit up. every moment of listening to him lamenting over his feelings is the most frustrating shit ever. make him hear this one for god's fucking sake.
HUENING KAI 22 ( journalism ), no matter how much everyone denies it, i know they won't survive a day without me like? i provide sunoo with all the gossip of our side? how else do you think heeseung sneaks around yeonbin with his feelings? god it's me i do the passing the parcel of info. i mean taehyun is also involved with them but then i am more useful than that reality check of a guy, i mean who needs reality when you can live in a fantasy! hehe i just outdid everyone with that! or not anyway moving on yn's cr— SUNOO: shut the fuck up bitch!
𝐈𝐈𝐈 learn about THE GROUPCHATS.
01. HEEYN TRUTHERS heeseung, jay, jake, sunghoon, taehyun and sunoo: the group that has been supporting heeseung in pursuing his feelings since he first revealed it to them. for whenever he fucks up and they have to discuss how to save his ass. normal chats happen too.
02. BOSS BABIES yn, jungwon, riki: the trio that has been friends since middle school, and sticks together. yn spends most of her time with them, that is in college. often goes out to hangout and these two are yn's only actual friends!
03. SHOOTERZ 4 YN yeonjun, soobin, heeseung and jungwon: they use this chat to text each other whenever someone upsets yn or she's going somewhere alone and they need jungwon to secretly tag along to give them updates later.
04. PRINCESS & HER KNIGHTZ yn, yeonjun, soobin and heeseung: the main stars— spoiled baby and her overprotective boys. usually text her when it has to do something with the four of them, like when yn goes out or she needs someone to pick her up or accompany her or when they have dinner at each other's place and someone's missing and likewise.
05. PSYCHOS W/ SICKOS yeonjun, soobin, beomgyu, taehyun, huening kai and heeseung: well this is heeseung's other friend group with the yn brothers' friends that become his own after a while. this is yeonbin dominated friend group chat and beomgyu is main character lmao
START THE STORY — prologue 𓈒 𓈒 𓈒
TAGLIST . ( OPEN ) @s00buwu @lilyuwon @pockyyasii @nctislifue @shawnyle @enhastolemyheart @aaa-sia @snoopypupp @criminalyun @oddracha @satan-223 @diorsyun @hooniehon @fakeuwus @caramelcandescence @intromortal @kookify @yutasberryy @sumzysworld @nikiswifiee @shuichi-sama @primroselover @rayofsunshineeee @aishigrey @yjwluvs @soraokkotsu @nyfwyeonjun @srhnyx @trashx678 @wondipity @winuvs @hoondiors @niniissus @firstclassjaylee @biancaness send an ask to be added! (if your comment goes unnoticed it is not my responsibility)
#enhypen imagines#enhypen smut#HOPE Y'ALL FIND THIS FUNNY ENOUGH ㅠㅠ#enhypen smau#enhypen heeseung smut#heeseung smut#enhypen heeseung imagines#heeseung imagines#enhypen social media au#enhypen socmed au#enhypen social au#heeseung smau#enhypen hard hours#enhypen hard thoughts
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OMG HI!! So I just finished reading the latest chapter of your AO3 fic and I love love LOVE it!! I came to ur tumblr because I was hoping for more content and I saw ur post about Königs backstory and god his entire demeanor through the fic makes sense now!! I was wondering abt some stuff in his backstory though..
1. Why did he choose to enter the military instead of continuing math/science studies like his parents wanted him to?
2. He really seems to hate the people he worked with while in the military, so how did his ‘friendship’ with ghost and soap develop?
3. Would he ever introduce us to his family? (I know thanksgiving would be hell in his household 😭)
4. Do you think he’ll ever come to face his trauma? Like would he consider therapy or some other type of treatment?
5. (Bonus question) how do you write such good German 💀 I wanna write König fics but know absolutely nothing about German
Sorry for the onslaught of questions!! I just love this man so much fr
HELLO ANON !!!!!!! im so glad to hear that you're interested in König's backstory - it is such an important aspect of who he is (despite how much he would deny this fact if questioned) and as you said, really does dictate much of his behaviour in the fic.
i love getting questions!! there is no such thing as an onslaught of questions - just keep throwing them at me. often when im questioned it helps me add depth to the characters i write, inspires new ideas, etc. KEEP EM CUMMING !!!
okay. now to actually answering them
a huge part of it was to spite his family, actually. by his mid-teens, he would do just about anything to piss off his mother. yes, he loved his math and science, but it was something he could let go of. he never really felt a huge amount of passion for anything by the time he decided to join the military. his decision was also influenced by his lust for violence and underlying blood-thirst - he thought it would be a genius way to experiment with the anger that was bubbling away at the surface and see how he could release it. finally, he grew up with very few positive male role models. they were all hyper-masculine, aggressive, physicality-based. to him, the picture of a perfect man was a soldier, an army man. he thought it the most logical (and easy) pathway to guaranteed employment.
GREAAAT question. his friendship with ghost and soap started with Ghost. Ghost (in my au) was a few years older than König and had a bit more life experience than him. Ghost watched the way that the Austrian behaved for weeks; the silence, the angered glare, the punches thrown. he saw himself in König, and wanted to see what he could do to help, to prevent him from ending up where he did. it was a slow process to befriend König and earn his trust, but after weeks of quick comments, pats on the back, and quiet early mornings, Ghost finally got him to come around. and Soap? well, he's just an extension of Ghost. that's what he would say to anyone else, including Ghost, but internally, König actually quite liked Soap. his incessant comedy and positivity were both infuriating and admirable, especially in the face of what they were contending with at times. finally, he appreciated the fact that neither of them seemed to judge him for much. they were just interested in his well-being, something that seemingly the rest of the boys were not.
fuck no! he doesn't want his beautiful girl to be exposed to the horrors that plagued him as a child, giving her any insight into the person he used to be. aside from that, he went no contact with his mothers years ago, after she divorced his father. his father only gets a text message from König once a year, normally at Christmas or around his birthday. maybe one day he'd clue his dad into the woman in his life, but not for a good long while. not until he's certain that you're not going anywhere.
another big fat no. on one hand, he knows that something might be a bit off about him, but on the other, he doesn't think it important enough to go and get it checked out. on all the psychological assessments before he joined the military, he lied on every single question. gave the impression that he was fine, because he knew what they expected of his mental health. he thinks it would be a waste of time. he much prefers just pushing it to the back of his mind and taking his anger out elsewhere. if he believes he's fine and doesn't need help, wouldn't those pansies who just want to study him think that too?
HEEELLLPPPP please it is not that good - in fact, i got a lesson from a German reader in my ask box correcting me on my German which from now on i will be implementing. it was all just google translate and blind faith that the Germans wouldn't get me for it. go for the writing!!! just trust that they won't get you too!!!!!
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I lifted my rule of not interacting with people on here just to pop
Yeah i wanna apologise kinda for being immature in how i handled talking to you and how I spoke to you about certain people when really i shouldn't have. No matter how much i dont like you or the stuff you did i should have been more civil and or just not enganged im sorry for that
I saw your recent post on me and eh i cant say much i just dont care
I dont agree with a lot of stuff you say or your views but I do genuinely think this acc isnt and wasnt made for trolling but others can disagree with me i cant gauge someones intent.
I do agree with you that this place is riddled with people who can prey on kids and groom them, filled with immature kids who cant act properly (myself included) and adults who cannot interact normally with people younger than them. And the community would rather ignore everything rather than eknowladge bad stuff and just let it fester.Someone youve previously called out i had an ancident that made me so uncomfortable it was one of the reasons i stopped posting so i can tell you do actually have good points and intent -despite the execution and how you donduct yourself.
Its why i am now only using my blog to archive my vore art and not much else.
I appreciate any concerns youve had for me and if you havent had any and you dont like me thats fine.
Just wanted to give my 2 cents. You dont have to reply to this even just thought id let ya know lol
I hope you have a good time on this pile of rocks we call home
its fine, i think you and others were just working with what they know (and that being that there are ppl who encourage u to do dangerous shit and then scatter when u get hurt because they dont want to take any responsibility)
and i also apologize for some of my own conduct, this all comes from a very deep place in my heart. when i was a very young kid i also engaged in the "sfw" parts of the vore community nd was groomed and sexually taken advantage of by adults who insisted tht it was, actually, a nonsexual thing for them even when they were actively DOING sexual things to me or my friends
so to see tht pattern CONTINUE with ppl who are the age i once was, for nothing to be done and for no one to SAY anything, it was infuriating. that kids were continuing to get groomed and exploited. tht groomers who hurt me and other ppl who were and are children get to wash their hands clean and never face the fucking consequences of their actions... it made me feel like i had to do something. anything. so those ppl dont have the same fucking pit of trauma tht i was given by online strangers who used me bc i was vulnerable, trusting, trying to cope with a horrific reality of an abusive family, n having untreated mental illnesses. it still affects me so many years later and it... ruined me. they got to walk away. i was left with the carnage they made of me.
and of course kids arent going to know better, most of them are only here 2 cope with traumatizing irl things in their lives (or mental illnesses that they might not be able to get resources for so, again, to cope w tht)which leaves them way more fucking vulnerable than the average person. why should an ADULT STRANGER ONLINE be involved in a childs coping mechanisms, yk? and then making a community of vulnerable children they find?
i appreciate the apology n i also apologize, i just genuinely didnt know how else to make an impact this way on other ppl. ppl didnt listen to me when i was nicer ab this and i felt like this would only make its impact when i started more directly calling them n their social circles out
and like to b clear i dont dislike u, the only ppl im truly fucking mad ab are the adults who were involved and actively encouraging kids to be vulnerable to online strangers. it kept me up a lot of nights w anxiety tht i could and SHOULD try to stop wht they were doing but tht i might not be doing ENOUGH to. especially w ppl like suzyandthefox whos a whole other kind of malicious entitled asshole who seek kids out for their fantasies n who mix their sexual tendencies in (but try to hide it)
to wrap things up i was concerned ab you and others, yeah. i dont think u were trying to b outright malicious, u were just trying to do what u thought was right. i appreciate u taking the time to think and self reflect, ive been giving myself space to do the same
u deserve a safer community, and i hope u can find or make it
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and he fucking brings up grandma and telling me i should call her and like. yeah okay i know her health is bad but like what the fuck am i supposed to do about that. i cant talk to mom, shes fucking cruel and heartless and i cant fucking talk to her about anything, the way she talks about the whole thing is just fucking ruthlessly shitty and its like its designed to hurt. i cant talk to dad either cus he just doesnt care. he doesnt wanna fucking talk about it, hell just dump it all on someone else like he did when i was getting bullied in highschool and he got a friend of his to talk to me instead of like. talking to me himself or fucking fixing shit istead of pushing that responsibility on everyone around him so he doesnt have to deal with it. anything to avoid having to be a parent or having to talk about stuff. and my stepmom is almost a bad as my mom ngl she fucking makes theories about whats wrong with grandma and talks about it like its gossip or some shit, will not shut the fuck up and rags it on longer than it needs to be, and its so fucking infuriating.
like. its not like anyones asked me how im doing about the whole situation or asks me how im feeling. no fucking "are you okay" or "what are you thinking" or "how does it make you feel" in any genuine actually worthwhile way or any questions about how it might make me feel to talk about it or anything. no matter what i say theyll just try to brush it off or act like i have nothing to worry about or some shit etherway cus im not allowed to be upset or have emotions afterall, and the world doesnt revolve around me, it revolves around them and im selfish for not managing or caring about their feelings when its THEIR FUCKING JOB TO CARE ABOUT MINE. THEYRE PARENTS. THEYRE SUPPOSED TO CARE ABOUT ME, I SHOULDNT BE MANAGING THEIR EMOTIONS BY SHUTTING TEH FUCK UP ALL THE TIME AND DEALING WITH THEIR EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS AND SHIT.
as if it wasnt fucking bad enough that i was taught any emotions that dont align with what they want me to feel or that dont validate them arent allowed, im supposed to do exactly as they want and no other option is allowed. cus then im an asshole and im selfish, self centered, egoistic, spoiled, brat, "angry" "all the time", and in general "nobody cares" and "nobody feels fucking sorry for you" and thats just what im supposed to deal with all the time? i cant have emotions or be upset so i become a fucking doormat to please evryone but if i dont stand up for myself its my own fault im unhappy, but when i do stand up for myself im completely ignored and i get run over and i cant have everything exactly as i want it all the time cus the people around me have their own lives, but when i suddenly dont want visitors or i dont answer peoples calls or i dont engage or i dont visit its all "you can just call us or visit us". why the fuck would i want to spend time with a bunch of overgrown toddlers who dont want whats best for me and who actively shut me down any time i try to exist like a normal person. they literally treat me like a fucking dog. like weve HAD a dog and they just fed it and put it on a leash in the garden and that was p much it. dad actually didnt even feed it after the divorce i think? im pretty sure he forgot cus he expected US to do it? I WAS FUCKING EIGHT OR SOME SHIT. why would an eight year old with neglectful shitty parents know that theyre supposed to feed the dog. id get yelled at for literally anything i did if my mom or dad didnt like it to the point where i dont even know as an adult whether im allowed or not allowed to do things specifically because What If Someone Gets Mad At Me For Doing This Even Though They Shouldn't Get Mad For This But What If.
like even at inpatient, theres food in the kitchen. theres food and theres bread and sandwich stuff and theres even leftovers in the other fridge sometimes and if the kitchen isnt gonna be used anytime soon i can even cook myself something, like if i buy a pizza or i have a bag of macaroni. ive even been offered the option to make salads for lunch and i feel like THE MOST selfish bitch for having the audacity to need food or have certain issues with food that make me need to eat differently than most other people. i feel fucking bad just for asking for bread i can eat without gagging. i feel like im being judged HARSHLY when i eat fucking nutella. i almost have to hide candy or anything sweet like chocolate cus im afraid ill have to have the "you eat too much sugar" talk again as if its THAT easy just walking into the kitchen and eating.
so yeah anyways, my parens fucking suck and i want to yell at them every time i talk to them but i have the patience of a fucking saint cus thats the nly thing im allowed to have without any repercussions so i just have to shut up and wait to get home so i can finally go back to being a semi-normal person.
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dream, sapnap, and c!technoblade x abused! reader
what better way to unpack my twauma then by making it into a headcannons list? i’ll see myself out
wc: 1,146
DREAM
this motherfucker right here, your honor, will go absolutely batshit insane
how fucking dare someone hurt you? like, to him, you’re his world and then some. the idea of someone hurting you physically, mentally, or any kind of -ly, will make him go feral
of course, he’ll keep it in at first. if you came to him with this around the start of the relationship, he’ll respect that boundary. he doesn’t want to scare you away, after all
if you’re anything like me, you’ll probably be in tears telling him this. reliving something so traumatic and horrible, something so painful, is hard to do and retelling it would always make you cry, no matter how long ago it happened
seeing this, dream would probably grab you and hold you close, tucking your head into his chest. he can’t say he’s the best at comforting people, but he really does try. he would rub your back and whisper words of encouragement
it didn’t really click until one time when you two were playing minecraft on your shared console together. you had just successfully beaten the wither in your survival world and dream decided it would be sick to high five you.
turning in your direction, he raised a hand and watched in horror as you sucked in a sharp breath and flinched away from him.
he dropped his hand instantly and backed up a little, face struck with disbelief. someone had hurt you that way. someone hit you and made you scared of simple hand movements.
it took him all but three seconds to be on top of you, apologizing at a rapid fire speed while cradling your face. he peppered kisses like it was his lifeline and made sure that when he was done, not a hint of fear was in your expression.
he may not be able to comprehend it at first, but once he does, he will make sure every moment is dedicated to showing you that he would never treat you like that.
and if he finds out who your old s/o was? lets just say that we’re gonna have a glimpse of smp!dream irl
SAPNAP
baby boy. the man, big teddy hunky himbo guy, will also get extremely pissed. unlike dream, he would express it outwardly.
he has a huge sense of loyalty to people who treat him great. you’re dating him, therefore he feels the need to find your ex and carve out the alphabet on their body with a knife.
he won’t do it, for obvious legal reasons, so he settles for aggressively making sure that you know you’re loveable. hugs, kisses on the face, kisses on the neck. sex. the whole nine yards.
he’s not one for using his words, bc his actions speak louder, so he settles for a tight squeeze of a hug after you told him what you’ve gone through. it’s what he feels like is the best thing he can do for you.
one morning, you’re feeling particularly sluggish and such. you’re busy making your breakfast of choice when sapnap walks in. he seems like a morning person, so the mans is bubbly.
he goes to mess up your hair but stops himself short when you practically bash your head into the cabinet to get away from him. out of instinct, an “i’m sorry” spills from your lips and you look close to tears as you say it.
he just stands there, brain catching up and making the connection between what you told him and your knee jerk reaction to a hand reaching out to you. and for a second, he looks furious.
not at you! never at you, no, no, no. he’s furious at your past ex and how much of a douchebag they were. how evil they had to be to be able to do something like this and make you terrified of friendly gestures
so sappigus grabs your wrist gently and tugs you until you arms length away from one another. instead of a kiss or a hug, he stares into your eyes and with a serious tone of voice, says
“i will never let anyone else hurt you like how they did. i promise.”
im tearing up just thinking about this BITCH WHERE IS MY FUCKING WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT--
sapnap feels your pain and will never go a day without reminding you of how much he is willing to do to ensure your safety. he will go into every day saying that he loves you and ends every night with a hug or railing the fuck out of you. your choice.
C! TECHNOBLADE
blood man. blood god. e man. e boy? e. yeah, he’ll kill something. 100% after you’ve told him, he’ll probably need a place to go take his anger out. that cow farm near l’manberg looking mighty sexy rn--
we all know that techno is probably one of the most loyal bitches in the smp. he has an unofficial claim over the people he loves and you’re included in that.
so the idea of someone meeting you before him and having the absolute gall to beat you like you mean nothing infuriates him.
whenever he’s cooled down, he’ll come back (covered in cow blood probably--) and will pull you into his lap and sit there, hunched over you as if he were protecting you from the world.
and you’d probably appreciate it, nuzzling back into his body. you feel safe in his arms and he feels safe knowing that you’re in his arms.
techno and you typically make potions together in your free time. you both just like to stare at the shimmery liquids and swirl them around. while he’s working on a potion of strength, he realizes that you have the blaze powder in front of you but you’re not longer using it.
when he reached over, all you could comprehend was that there was something moving near your face that slightly resembled a hand, and you just panic. you let out a small yelp-like sound and darted you head backwards, looking over frantically.
techno and you just stare at one another, your expression quickly morphing from fear to guilt at how horrified he looked. techno moved quickly and shoved aside the potion you were working on and kneeled in front of you.
the voices were going rapid fire in his brain as he pulled you into a hug and tucked your head into his neck, grounding you and reminding you that you’re fine. everything’s okay now that he’s here.
“i will never leave you if you want me to stay.”
he’d pull back and plant a kiss on your lips quickly before his smile turned a little less sweet and a little more murderous.
“so, what was your ex’s name again?”
there’s no cars in minecraft but you bet your ass he will somehow commit vehicular manslaughter.
#x reader#reader insert#mcyt x reader#dreamwastaken x reader#sapnap x reader#technoblade x reader#dreamsmp x reader#c!techno#c!technoblade x reader#tw: abuse#abused! reader
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drunk in love
pairing - yeosang x fem reader
genre - fluff, angst (?)
tw - lots of alcohol consumption, swearing
wc - 10k
side ships - seongjoong, yungi
a/n -- was meant to be angst but turned into fluff... im trying my best to get better at writing angst aaaah. but please enjoy this for now <3 thanks for letting me tag you @iminchaosnow !!
------------------------------------------- you had known kang yeosang for nearly two years now. two, dreadfully slow and exhausting years.it was your final year of high school when he transferred to your school, he was a close family friend of wooyoung's. his parents had spoken highly of the school, insisting that yeosang transfers in order to excel for his last year of schooling. as far as you were concerned, he had decent grades, but he preferred to spend his time hanging around the skatepark after dark, when everyone else had left.
and in all the two years you'd known him, you had never once had a full conversation with him, despite being in your group of friends. his side of the 'conversation' usually consisted of monotonous 'yeahs' and 'mhms'. wooyoung constantly assured you it was because he's shy and that he'd eventually open up. but you weren't convinced. you tried so hard for him to like you, but your efforts were fruitless. it was infuriating, feeling like you were constantly doing something wrong whenever you were around him.
you currently found yourself in the backseat of yeosang's car, wedged between a drunken yunho and mingi while a chaotic wooyoung was singing along to his chosen playlist. (though, it sounded more like wailing.)
you and the eight boys had all decided to take a gap year, spend every last cent you earned on adventure and alcohol to make lifelong memories, before your careers became a blockade in your friendship. but the year was coming to an end soon, it was already mid november. on the bright side, that meant your favourite holidays were just weeks away.
yeosang was always the designated driver. that was something you had noticed about him over the last few years. to be honest, you weren't sure just how he coped with a screeching wooyoung, because you sure as hell weren't dealing very well with yunho and mingi who were playing a very intense game of rock paper scissors to decide who would be crashing on the couch in your apartment.
"i win!" mingi cheered, waving his hands excitedly. "you're on the couch, man."
yunho frowned, "damn."
you laughed, "it's okay, yunho. you can share the bed with me if you'd like."
"hey! that's not fair y/n! you said i could this time." wooyoung whined from the front seat.
"sorry, woo. you know i keep my promises, but you're going back to your apartment. remember?" you tried to reason.
wooyoung looked as though someone had switched a lightbulb on behind his eyes, "oh yeah! i forgot."
the four of you burst into laughter, mainly caused by the alcohol and partially because of wooyoung's realisation. and still, yeosang didn't crack a smile, hands just gripping the steering wheel tighter as his knuckles turned white.
soon, you arrived outside your apartment block, quickly stepping out the car after yunho. wooyoung wound his window down and you poked your head in, attempting to hug him goodbye.
"bye woo!" you said, giggling at your faltered farewell.
"good night y/n, thanks for the drinks!" he shouted, exclaiming a bit too loudly next to your ear.
"thanks for the lift as always, yeosang!" you yelled, pulling away from wooyoung's tight hug.
he nodded, "no problem." before putting the window up and driving away.
you pouted, turning around to face the two boys. "i just don't understand what i'm doing wrong." you buried your face into your hands, "why doesn't he like me?" you groaned.
"y/n." mingi began, "its nearly 1am, its way too late for this 'why does yeosang hate me?' crap." he shook your shoulders, literally trying to shake some sense into you.
"yeah, mingi's right. we've had this discussion a thousand times." yunho said grasping your wrist and pulling you up the stairs, stumbling along the way. (because lets be real, stairs are difficult enough as it is, let alone when drunk.) "now, let us into your apartment so we can eat your food and crash on your couch!" he joked, nudging mingi in a playful manner.
you reached into your pocket and fumbled around with they key for a moment before unlocking the door. the boys practically pushed you inside and made a beeline for the fridge.
"help yourselves! i'm going to shower." you called, dragging yourself to your bedroom.
once you'd finished showering you went back to the living room to check on yunho and mingi. not so much to your surprise, they had fallen asleep on your couch already, cuddled up into each other. it was cute, even picture worthy to show their sober selves. you reached for your phone which typically lived in your pocket, though you began to panic when it wasn't there. hurrying around the apartment, you searched every possible nook and cranny for your phone, but it was nowhere to be found. you collapsed onto your bed, snuggling into the soft sheets, too tired to worry about your phone anymore and content with the assumption that you'd left it in yeosang's car.
shortly, your heavy eyes fell shut and you began to sleep away the tequila.
————————
the next morning you awoke to mingi and yunho's deep, hungover voices, discussing their plans for the next week.
you reluctantly pulled yourself out of bed and dawdled down the hallway.
"ah! there's our favourite karaoke partner!" yunho greeted, jokingly.
you laughed, "shh, don't let wooyoung hear you say that."
"she's right, man. he'd be so offended." mingi said, stretching out his sore limbs. "how are you feeling today, y/n?" he asked.
"not the worst hangover i've had. what about you guys? you're welcome to stay here as long as you'd like, until you feel better." you replied, knowing them well enough to know that they'd need at least a few painkillers and a good meal before they went home.
yunho chuckled, "i feel like crap, but nothing a sandwich and glass of water can't solve."
"i second that." mingi said, raising a hand.
"okay, well in that case, i'll go to the store and get something for breakfast. sound good?" you reasoned, running a hand through your hair. you loved these boys, and making them breakfast was just a nice way of showing you cared. drunk or not, they knew how to make you smile and laugh, which they loved to see.
"sounds amazing!" yunho said, breaking into a sincere smile.
you quickly changed out of your pyjamas and slipped some shoes on.
"i might be a bit longer, i need to stop by yeosang's. i think i left my phone in his car." you explained, picking your keys up from the kitchen counter. "see you guys soon! feel free to take a shower if you want." you said, waving goodbye and heading out the door.
"okay, bye y/n!" the boys called from behind you.
the first stop was yeosang's apartment, he only lived about ten minutes away with wooyoung and san, in the same building as jongho. both yunho and mingi lived on the other side of town, which is why they so often crashed at your place after parties. seonghwa and hongjoong were fortunate enough to live in a house, just outside town, they had actually been the hosts of last night's party.
it didn't take long to get there. you pushed open the lobby door and made your way over to the elevator, disappointed to see that it was out of order for maintenance. instead, you took the stairs and began spiralling upwards. less than a minute later you looked up, only to bump into the man you came looking for.
"oh, yeosang! i'm so sorry, i didn't mean to." you quickly apologised, worried about creating another reason for him to dislike you.
"it's fine." he shrugged.
you both began to talk again at the same time, "ah, sorry, you go."
"i was just gonna say, you left your phone in my car. actually, i was about to bring it back." he pulled your phone from the pocket of his jacket, handing it to you. as he did, your fingers brushed against his. he spun around suddenly and began to walk away, "i'll see you around."
he had left before you even had a chance to thank him. slightly confused and frustrated, you turned back around and traipsed down the stairs.
you gathered what you needed for a hearty breakfast at the local convenience store before heading home and spending the rest of the day in the enjoyable company of yunho and mingi.
yeosang had entered back into his apartment and sat down on the couch.
"back already?" wooyoung asked, rummaging through the fridge.
"she was coming to get her phone and i ran into her on the staircase."
wooyoung sighed, "when are you gonna stop hating her?"
"i don't hate her." yeosang said, not looking up from his phone.
"then why do you act like you do?"
yeosang pretended to not hear that question and continued to scroll through his phone. see, he'd rather not dwell on things that he couldn't understand.
————————
to fill up your weekdays during your gap year, you had picked up a job at a hotel in town as a receptionist. to your dismay, your boss had asked you to work night shift all week, which is how you found yourself here on thursday night, sitting alert and waiting for the slight chance that someone might check in at this time of night. it was a pretty fancy hotel, and the job payed well enough, so really, you had nothing to complain about.
the nights seemed to drag on for an eternity. to keep yourself busy, you often wasted time counting the cars that drove past, or tried to count the number of crystals that hung from the chandelier. so far, only a few people had checked in during your shift, having come from overseas and recently arriving at the airport. honestly, whenever someone walked through the front door, lugging a suitcase behind them, you got excited as it gave you something to do.
the clock was creeping up to 4am and you let out a quiet yawn, feeling drowsy as your body clock hadn't yet adjusted to the change of sleeping patterns on such short notice. taking a sip of water, you shook your head, trying to stay awake. your head suddenly jolted up at the sound of the front door opening.
a man stumbled forward, and you'd seen enough zombie movies to become instantly paranoid. you quickly pushed the thought out of your head, feeling ridiculous for even considering it. but as the man got closer, you could smell the cheap, potent alcohol lingering on his body.
he leant against the desk, peering down at you. "i need a room for the night." he grumbled. "my stupid wife kicked me out." he said under his breath.
you forced a friendly smile, despite feeling uneasy, "of course! i just need you to fill in this form with some simple details." you said, sliding across a clipboard and a pen.
he huffed, picking up the pen and scribbling onto the sheet of paper before pushing it back to you. "can i go now?"
"just a moment, sir." you replied, eyes skimming over the form as you copied the information into the computer in front of you.
the man was growing impatient, stepping from foot to foot with his arms crossed.
"uh, sir, you missed a part of the form. could you please provide your phone number here." you pointed to the empty space on the sheet.
"for fucks sake." he muttered, "i don't have my phone on me and i don't know my phone number." he said, annoyedly tapping on the desk.
"i'm really sorry, sir, but—"
"can't you just find me a fucking room?" he snapped, hands balled into fists and slamming against the desk, making you jump in fright.
before you had time to try and reason with him, he continued to shout.
"you're as stupid as my wife! i'll just find a different fucking hotel." he yelled, swiping the clipboard and pen off the desk. "useless bitch." he mumbled as he kicked over a chair on his way out.
you chewed your bottom lip, trying to fight back the tears. with shaky hands, you picked up your phone and dialled the first place that came to mind. after a few rings, the phone answered.
"woo?" you croaked, trying hard to not cry.
"he's asleep. this is yeosang." he replied, evidently having just woken up by the sound of his voice.
"oh." you began, instantly feeling guilty for waking him up, "i'm sorry i didn't mean to disturb you."
"did you need something?" he asked.
"i just, i was..." you let out a sob, wiping at a tear falling from your eye.
this didn't go unnoticed by yeosang, "are you crying? what are you doing awake right now anyway?"
"i'm at work." you managed to choke out.
"at 4am?"
"i'm on night shift."
"why are you crying then?" he asked, feeling something slightly tug at his heart, but choosing to ignore it.
you began to ramble, "a man came in and he was really drunk and complaining about his wife and then he yelled at me because i asked him to give his phone number and—"
"i'm on my way." yeosang cut you off.
"what?"
"i'll be there in ten." with that, he hung up the phone.
exactly ten minutes later, you were sat in the passenger seat of yeosang's car. he was dressed in sweats, clearly having come straight from bed. you'd left a note on the desk, explaining to your coworker why you wouldn't be there when she arrived to take over your shift. a silence filled the car, and you felt the need to talk, but chose not to, worried about giving yeosang another reason to hate you.
once you arrived outside your apartment building, you were surprised that yeosang got out the car too and trailed closely behind you up the stairs to your apartment. when you reached the door you spun around to face him.
"thank you for bringing me home." you said, voice quiet and still rather shaken up.
"it's no problem. good night, y/n." he replied, sensing that you were still upset. he suddenly felt this overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around you tightly and not let go until you stopped crying. he wanted to protect you from every drunk idiot on the planet. he wanted to make you feel safe.
but instead, he watched as you closed the door behind you and locked it from inside.
————————
you arrived at work the next morning, instantly feeling more comfortable with cleaners, employees and people coming and going. immediately, you headed for your boss's office.
"good morning, sir. i just wanted to come and apologise for leaving my shift early last night. i can assure you it won't happen again." you said, feeling nervous as to what your boss might say.
he shook his head, "i should be the one apologising, a man came in this morning and spoke very sternly about the safety problems here. i realise now how stupid it was of me to make you work night shift, alone, at such a young age. we've hired security guards and have also made sure that two people will be on desk at all times. i'm sorry that you had to deal with that."
you were at a loss for words, you didn't think that there would be such drastic changes just from the once incident. "thank you so much." you replied.
"for now, take the rest of the day off. you'll only be working day shifts for next week and can return to doing night shifts whenever you feel ready to do so." your boss said, motioning for the door.
the rest of the day you spent in deep sleep, catching up on some much overdue rest.
———————
weeks passed and you found that work was much more enjoyable. you still hadn't returned to working night shifts, but at least now you had someone to run the front desk with you and keep you company.
this weekend, you were going to visit hongjoong and seonghwa. hongjoong was sick and so you decided to go help out since seonghwa couldn't always be there to look after him.
you knocked on their front door and was surprised to be greeted by san.
"good afternoon! come in." he gave you a hug before ushering you inside.
"what are you doing here?" you said, following him down the hall.
in the living room, you saw all eight of the boys gathered around a couch-ridden hongjoong.
"jongho was already here when me, yeosang and woo arrived." san explained.
"yeah, and then mingi and yunho turned up." wooyoung continued.
"y/n! i have never been more glad to see you! you gotta save me from them." hongjoong laughed, arms open, signalling for a hug.
you went over and embraced him in a hug, "good thing i brought an excessive amount of cookies." you said, placing the box of cookies on the coffee table next to the couch. the table was covered in empty mugs and bowls, you could tell seonghwa had been busy and hadn't had the chance to clean up. you opened up the box and handed him a cookie before offering them around to the rest of the boys.
"you're the best cook ever." mingi said, taking a big bite.
"i made you spaghetti last night!" yunho countered, feeling offended that his roommate didn't think he was the better cook. mingi just laughed and took another bite.
"jongho get off the counter, please." seonghwa said, coming through the front door. "don't be so comfortable, you were throwing up in my toilet like a month ago." he joked.
yeosang glanced your way, his eyebrows furrowed like he was contemplating something.
"lets head off and give these two some space." yunho said, dragging mingi behind him.
wooyoung stood up, "yeah, lets get going."
yeosang pulled his keys from his pocket, "okay, bye guys." he said, heading down the hallway.
"can we get some food on the way home?" you heard san call as they left.
"bye hongjoong! i hope you're feeling better soon." jongho said, "bye seonghwa, i promise i won't throw up in your toilet any time soon." he joked, leaving through the front door.
"seonghwa, how are you? don't forget to take some time for yourself as well." you frowned.
"i'm tired, but i'll be okay. i just gotta clean up and—"
"why don't you go rest a while? i can keep hongjoong company for a few hours." you reasoned, wanting to help as much as possible. there was nothing you hated more than seeing you friends in distress and upset.
he looked between hongjoong and yourself, "i couldn't."
hongjoong let out an audible huff, "hwa! will you just let her help please, she clearly wants to."
you grinned, "exactly, now go read or sleep or watch some tv or something." you said, gently pushing him towards their shared bedroom.
you spent the afternoon tidying up and talking with hongjoong. you managed to do all the dishes and put them away before scouring their kitchen, deciding on what you could use for dinner. you found everything you needed for a decent meal and began cooking it up. hongjoong had dozed off mid conversation, surrounded in a pile of tissues, you chose to let him sleep so he would recover quicker.
about an hour later, you placed two steamy hot meals onto their dining table next to two full glasses of water. you quietly knocked on their bedroom door, finding seonghwa asleep amongst the covers.
you gently shook him awake, "hwa, i made dinner for you guys. you can wake joong up, i'll head off now." you said with a smile.
leaving the two of them to enjoy their dinner, you headed home and cooked yourself something to eat. it was nice having some time to yourself, but saturday nights were becoming more and more empty as winter grew closer. december was only days away and the year would soon come to an end. you reached for the phone, suddenly desperately missing your friends despite only seeing them hours ago.
"hey woo, are you free next weekend?" you asked.
he paused a moment, "i think so, why?"
"you wanna go out with the others? it's been a while since we have all caught up for drinks."
"count me in!" wooyoung cheered.
you called everyone else up and they all agreed, even hongjoong promised to come if he was feeling better.
————————
you found yourself surrounded by wooyoung, san, yunho and mingi as the music blared. it was a less popular club on the far side of town but it was a comfortable place for you all. you often came here for drinks and the staff members knew you, quite well, a little too well. san grabbed your hand and spun you around a few times with the music.
you laughed, leaning against him, "maybe spinning around isn't the best idea right after two shots of vodka."
"what?" san yelled into your ear, struggling to hear you over the music.
you laughed louder, pulling him closer to you, "i said, spinning is not a good idea after drinking vodka!"
"oh!" he joined you in laughing before trying to twirl you around once more.
hongjoong and seonghwa sat at the bar, holding hands and being intimate as always. yeosang was sat next to jongho at a booth, quietly talking with him, but from the corner of your eye, you saw jongho stand up and walk away. your eyes watched him worriedly and you couldn't help but run after him. you followed him as best you could, stumbling every now and then. he'd gone to the bathroom so you patiently waited outside until he came back, looking slightly pale.
you practically leapt at him, doing a quick scan to make sure he was okay, "jongho? are you alright?"
he smiled at your overwhelming concern, "yeah, i just drank too much as usual. i'll be alright, you can go back to dancing."
"let me just get you some water first. i'll be right back okay?" you patted his shoulder. "don't go anywhere i'll be back in a second."
you made your way back to where jongho had been sitting with yeosang. as you approached, yeosang eyed you up and down, taking in your drunken state, though, it wasn't the first time he'd seen you this way. you nearly tripped as you reached the table, struggling to walk in heels.
"i need a glass of water, do you have a glass of water? jongho needs a glass of water." you mumbled to yourself, reaching for the jug in the center of the table.
"are you okay?" yeosang asked, quickly pushing your hand away from the jug.
"i'm okay, but jongho needs water. can i take this cup? he's waiting for me, i told him not to go anywhere, i need to get back to jongho—" you tried to pick up a glass but yeosang pressed your hand back down once more.
"i'll take it to him, you stay here." he said, filling the cup full with water and heading towards the bathrooms.
your brain suddenly felt fuzzy and your eyes became blurry, it was like the alcohol hit your system all at once. your head spun round and round and you leaned forward, resting your hands on your head. you'd never felt this sick from drinking, maybe you'd had too much too quickly, maybe it was the spinning. there was no way to tell, all you knew was that you felt like you were about to fall from the top of a very high roller coaster.
your eyes felt increasingly heavy, you allowed them to slip shut, head falling to the table with a not so gentle thud.
"y/n?" someone shook you, "y/n wake up!" it was wooyoung.
"shit, is she okay? should we call an ambulance?" jongho said, reaching for his phone.
"is she breathing? has anyone checked?" seonghwa gently lifted your shoulders and sat you upright, relieved to see the rise and fall of your chest. "we should call a taxi and get her home."
"are you crazy? she's unconscious, she won't be able to get up the stairs to her apartment! what if the driver is dodgy? she's already had to deal with shitty men while working night shift, imagine if something happened while she's drunk!" yeosang blurted out. the boys were shocked over his sudden concern for you. yeosang had never once shown any interest or care for you in the presence of them.
"well, what should we do then?" mingi asked, worriedly running a hand through his hair.
"i'll take her, you've all been drinking." yeosang concluded. "she'll be fine, don't worry. enjoy the rest of your night, okay? i've dealt with woo passing out before remember?"
"that's true." san said, throwing a light hearted glare in wooyoung's direction, who showed a rather sheepish expression.
the boys went back to their drinks, taking it a little slower now and yeosang carried you to his car. it wasn't easy, but he managed to sit you upright in the back seat of his car with his rear view mirror aimed directly at you so he could make sure you were okay.
he was able to lift you up the stairs and get your house key from the pocket of your jacket, which would've looked questionable to anyone else, but he had the best intentions. he sat you down in a dining chair, watching as your head lolled forward and your body slumped. he quickly filled a glass of water and came back to you.
"y/n." he whispered, resting a hand on your shoulder. "y/n." he said again, louder this time.
the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you, but you weren't waking up and that was becoming concerning. he shook your shoulder, as gently as he possible could in a moment like this, and to his relief, your eyes hesitantly opened.
your head felt like a bowling ball and you groaned quietly. "yeosang?"
"here." he said holding the cup to your lips, allowing you to take a small sip.
"how did we get here?" you mumbled, head rolling to the side.
he caught your head and carefully pushed you back upright, "i drove you, this is your apartment."
"oh." you said, eyes drooping shut again. "oh." you repeated.
"y/n, i really need you to stay awake right now." he said, bringing the cup to your mouth again. "lets talk."
"we never talk!" you exclaimed. "this is the longest conversation we've ever had!"
"i know." he said, pulling up a chair to sit directly in front of you. yeosang felt that slight tug at his heart again tonight, the way you sounded so excited just to talk with him.
"no, no, no." you whined, "this is so bad!"
"what is it?"
you pouted before nervously biting your lip, "i'm really sorry."
"for what?" he questioned, leaning back in his chair.
"for ruining your night and making you stay here with me! now you just have another reason to hate me." you sighed, letting your head fall into your hands.
"i could never hate you." he said, voice barely above a whisper.
but you had fallen back asleep, so yeosang sat you upright once more and monitored you closely all night. with every minute that passed, he wished more and more that it was easier for him to show his emotions, to you especially. he wondered if maybe he wasn't so closed off that things would be different between the two of you. but it was hard for him, to let people in, he was afraid. afraid of people judging the real him, afraid of what might happen if he lets himself become vulnerable, afraid of facing his feelings about you.
you awoke hours later with a raging headache and extreme nausea. you headed straight for the bathroom and hunched over the toilet, feeling the sickest you'd ever felt. yeosang waited patiently outside the bathroom door with a glass of water and painkillers.
when you came out, he held his hand out, "take this."
you looked down at his hand and then up at him, slightly confused, "what are you doing here?"
"you passed out last night, and i drove you home because everyone else had been drinking." he said, passing the glass of water.
"oh my god." you ran a hand through your hair, "yeosang, i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to be any trouble! you must of been here all night, i promise it won't happen again, that was so stupid of me—"
"it's fine, don't worry about it." he said, shrugging, "i'll get going now, but make sure you take it easy and drink enough water." his eyes carefully scanned your body one last time, making sure you were really okay. he headed for the door and you followed.
"i'm really sorry." you frowned, feeling as though no amount of apologies would make it up to him.
he let out a slight chuckle, "it's okay, seriously y/n." he said before leaving. you heard the all too familiar jingle of his keys as the door closed behind him.
he'd stayed with you all night, eyes watching over you closely. ready at your side whenever you stirred in your sleep. he'd been there in the morning prepared with water and painkillers. this was never how it was, usually this was your job, taking care of the boys. it was your way of showing you cared, helping out wherever possible.
this wasn't like yeosang. at all.
————————
as soon as yeosang got home he was greeted by a very concerned san and wooyoung.
"is she okay?"
"are you tired?"
"did she wake up?"
he was bombarded by questions.
"she's okay, she fell asleep after a while and i made her take some painkillers when she woke up." yeosang said, collapsing onto the couch.
"so you really don't hate her then." wooyoung thought aloud.
"he can't, he spent the whole night looking after her!" san said, hitting wooyoung like it was obvious.
"owww," wooyoung rubbed his arm, "even she thinks you don't like her!"
"i know, she said last night. but she probably won't remember saying that." yeosang said, feeling increasingly drowsy from his lack of sleep.
"maybe you guys should like, talk things out?" san suggested, taking a seat next to him.
"maybe." yeosang said, drifting off into sleep.
you had spent the day curled up in bed, wondering how you could make it up to yeosang, and there was nothing more you wanted than to get to know him better, but what would he want? you called up san on that thought.
"hey sannie," you said, "i need your help, actually, is woo there as well?"
"oh my god she's alive!" you heard wooyoung call from beside san.
"what do you need help with?" san asked.
you paused a moment, "is yeosang there?"
"well yes, but he's asleep."
you groaned, "i feel so bad that he stayed up all night looking after me. i really wanna make it up to him but i don't know how. plus, it's not like he's that fond of me. maybe i should just thank him by staying out of his space."
"i don't think he'd like that." wooyoung interjected. "i still think he just needs time before opening up to you."
"i think its just me." you sighed, worriedly chewing on your bottom lip.
"hey! don't be like that! there's no reason to not like you." san scolded you for down talking yourself as he always does.
"agreed." wooyoung said, chiming in.
"i'm sure i'll work something out. thanks guys! enjoy the rest of your day!" you said.
"good luck!"
"bye y/n!"
————————
you had been staring at your phone for at least an hour, typing and retyping the message to yeosang. wooyoung gave you his number so that you could contact him when you'd finally worked out how to make it up to him. in the end, you decided that you would let him decide.
you drew in a sharp breath and squeezed your eyes tightly shut as you pressed send.
you: hey yeosang, i still feel really bad about the other day, i wanna know how i can make it up to you !!
yeosang: did wooyoung give you my number? T~T
you: yes he did.. i hope thats okay !
yeosang: of course yeosang: how about you make it up to me over a cup of coffee? >.<
you: that sounds great !! you: when are you free ?
yeosang: does tomorrow morning work for you ? i can pick you up ^_^
you: of course ! i'll see you tomorrow :)
yeosang sat in his room, facepalming. why was it so easy to be more open over text?
you on the other hand, felt your heart swell in a bizarre way. maybe it was the way you hadn't expected him to use such cute little emoticons. maybe it was the way that you'd be able to have a full conversation with him. whatever it was, excitement had taken over you.
————————
a knock pounded at your door and you rushed to open it.
"ready to go?" he asked, leaning against the door frame coolly.
"yes, lets go!" you said, sounding a little too excited.
the two of you made your way down the stairs and into yeosang's car. you found yourself smiling as you looked out the window.
your excitement hadn't gone unnoticed, "you seem awfully excited."
"i really wanted to make it up to you," you beamed. "it must've been boring to watch over me all night."
"i didn't mind so much." he said, shrugging.
you frowned, "you shouldn't of done it."
"and leave you passed out in the club?" he quirked an eyebrow up at you.
"well..."
"exactly." he said, parking the car outside a small cafe nearby his apartment. "come on, lets go inside."
you followed him in and took a seat across from him at a table close to the window. you both ordered coffees and resumed conversation.
"so, where were we?" you smiled, taking a sip of coffee.
"talking about how you wanted me to leave you passed out in the club." he said. you were almost convinced you saw a teasing smile pulling at his lips.
"right. i'm so sorry about that."
this time he actually chuckled, and you were taken aback. it was like the wall yeosang had surrounding himself was crumbling before your eyes.
"you need to apologise less." he laughed, bringing his coffee cup to his mouth for a sip. "half of the time we talk its just you saying sorry to me."
"i'm so—"
"hey!" the two of you broke into laughter.
his laugh was loud but warm and you couldn't help but notice the way his nose scrunched up cutely, the way his eyes looked full of stars and the way he brushed his hair out of his eyes after, revealing his beautiful birthmark. from that point on, you wanted to be the one to make him laugh every day.
he felt that familiar tug at his heart, the one he'd been feeling every moment he spent alone with you. the one he felt when he first met you. the one he couldn't make any sense of. it was as though his heart was a violin and you were the one playing it. (which would explain the tugging feeling.) but you were playing the sweetest song and he never wanted it to end.
the two of you laughed the morning away, gradually making up for what you'd missed over two years in a matter of two hours.
you'd discovered that even after getting him to open up more, he wasn't one for words. you found yourself talking his ear off while he listened intently, occasionally sharing his opinions and stories. in all his honesty, he didn't mind listening to you talk. he could've sat there all day, drinking countless cups of coffee, watching the way you bit your bottom lip whenever you paused to think or the way your eyes filled with sparkles when you talked about something that made you happy.
you insisted on paying for the infinite cups of coffee, as it was your way of making it up to him. he reluctantly agreed, but promised that he would pay if there ever was a next time, which he secretly hoped there would be. he'd finally had the chance to let his walls down. (it was actually more like you'd climbed the walls and torn them down with your bare hands.) but he was thankful for it.
he drove you back to your apartment, even after you persisted on walking home, seeing as it wasn't that far. he refused, insisting that he drive you. he even followed you up the stairs to the door of your apartment.
you turned around to face him, "you know, you're not so bad when you actually wanna talk to me."
"you know, you're not so bad when you're not drunk." he countered, his lips breaking into a playful grin.
you glared jokingly, "hey! don't make me apologise again."
"okay, okay. i won't." he said, raising his hands in defence.
you smiled, resting against the door, "alright, well, i've really enjoyed hanging out with you today. maybe we should catch up more often."
"maybe we should." he said, bearing a coy smile, "bye, y/n. i'll see you around."
————————
it was only about a week later he showed up at your work, at the end of your shift. you were pleasantly surprised to see him, and at first thought he was just someone coming to book a room.
"hello, are you looking for a r— yeosang?"
"when do you get off work?" he asked, glancing over to the clock.
"five minutes."
"i'll be waiting in the car, okay?" he said, turning on his heel and heading for the door.
on his way out, you saw as he ran into your boss, the two of them beginning conversation.
"it's good to see you've made those security changes." yeosang said as he nodded, extending his arm for a friendly handshake. "i'm very thankful."
your boss shook his hand, "and i'm thankful that you suggested them."
just over five minutes later you got into the passenger seat of yeosang's car.
"it was you who told my boss about the safety problems." you said, in near disbelief.
"hello, to you too." he joked sarcastically. "well, i would hate to think that the situation could happen again, so i just suggested some possible improvements. thats all." he shrugged like it was nothing.
"suddenly, i feel the need to make it up to you again." you smiled shyly.
"you can do that by accompanying me to the skate park." he said, motioning to his skateboard on the back seat.
"ah, so thats why you came."
"well yeah, i wanted to bring you to the skate park."
your heart swelled once again, feeling joyed that he wanted to share one of his favourite places with you. (despite him never telling you directly, you knew he loved the skate park as he spent majority of his high school time there when he wasn't studying.)
when you arrived, the sun was beginning to slip behind the horizon, causing the sky to glow a rosy pink. there were still a few kids, probably high schoolers, hanging around the park. you took a seat at a bench and waited for yeosang to come over, who was getting his skateboard out the car. you felt oddly out of place since you were still in your neat work uniform and didn't know the first thing about skateboarding.
yeosang rolled over with a grin plastered onto his face, you'd never seen him so happy, and it made you happy to see him this way. it was strange how all it took was a few cups of coffee for him to become a completely different person around you.
he didn't need to ask you to watch as your eyes were already glued to him as he dropped into the bowl, showing countless tricks and flips.
the truth was in fact that yeosang was grateful for you 'making it up to him'. he'd never been able to comprehend his feelings for you, if they were even feelings at all. he hated the confusion and decided it was easier to ignore it, and to an extent, ignore you, to make it go away. it had been working for the most part, until every time the two of you were alone together, he couldn't ignore the slight tug at his heart, that was becoming more of a pull over the last few weeks.
"you're amazing!" you cheered as he sat down next to you, out of breath.
"thanks." he smiled shyly, running a hand through his hair and out of his face. he leaned back, looking up at the sky. "do you sometimes wish you could see the stars from within the city? hongjoong and seonghwa are so lucky they can see them from their house."
you pondered a moment, thinking about the last time you actually saw stars in the sky. "i see stars in your eyes sometimes." you said, absent minded.
he felt warmth burning in his cheeks, "you do?"
"do what?" you turned to him, "did i say that out loud?" you gasped, covering your face in embarrassment. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to say that it was just a thought and—"
"what did i say about apologising?" he laughed. "it's getting cold, right? you ready to head home?" he asked.
you smiled, "if you are."
he drove you home and said goodbye, feeling happy about spending time alone with you once again. he couldn't stop thinking about what you said and you couldn't stop feeling like a fool for saying it.
————————
the weather got colder and colder and soon it began to snow as the days of december passed. you had spent the day helping jongho move some new furniture into his apartment. it was a difficult job, but easier with the two of you, even san and wooyoung came to help. you couldn't resist wondering where yeosang was and why he didn't come, seeing as they lived in the same building. maybe he was busy, you thought.
"hey, where's yeosang?" you asked, lifting a box and placing it on the kitchen counter.
"at home, i think he's been feeling sick or something, he hardly comes out of his room lately." wooyoung shrugged, assuming it was all good.
"if he's sick i'll bring him over some food and painkillers, maybe keep him some company." you explained, not wanting yeosang to be unwell.
"i think he'd rather be left alone, to be honest." san said, giving wooyoung a side glance that you couldn't miss.
you pulled out your phone and sent yeosang a quick message.
you: are you feeling okay? san and woo said you were sick :((
he didn't respond right away and you just figured he was asleep. but as you finished helping out at jongho's house a few hours later, he still hadn't responded. when you were sitting down to eat dinner at home, he still hadn't respond. just before you were going to turn the lights out and go to bed, he still hadn't responded.
something was up. this wasn't like yeosang, not anymore. not since the two of you had been spending so much time together. maybe it was like the boys said, and he was truly very sick, but in that case, why wouldn't they let you help?
————————
days passed and you went to work as usual, repeating the same few lines, asking people if they want a room, asking them to fill in a form, then directing them to the right room. days passed and you still hadn't heard back from yeosang, you wondered if he was still sick. days passed and you began to think maybe you should go over there to see if he's okay.
but if there was one thing you'd learnt about yeosang recently, it was that he was the quieter type, and probably wouldn't appreciate you going over there to keep him company and would rather be alone. so that evening when you got off work, you didn't go visit him like you so desperately wanted to, instead, you went straight home.
you cooked and ate dinner for yourself, before picking up your phone, only to see still no messages from yeosang.
you: hey woo you: is yeosang feeling better ?
wooyoung: yeah he is
you: well then can i come visit tomorrow ?
wooyoung: i think he's busy wooyoung: sorry
you: its okay woo you: its not your fault !!
you switched your phone off and headed for the shower, trying to wash away the stress and worry for yeosang that had built up over the last few weeks. you had really grown to like him and there was still so much about him you wanted to learn, like when he learned to skateboard or how he got the small scar on the back of his hand, that you'd noticed when ever he brushes his hair out of his eyes.
two years he'd spent, not interested in holding conversation with you and two years you'd spent, wondering what you'd did so wrong. but lately, you felt like you were doing something right around him, getting him to smile and laugh, share his own stories.
you couldn't shake the feeling that maybe he still didn't like you, and had just been trying for wooyoung's sake.
or maybe he was genuinely starting to like you, but you went and fucked it up by weirding him out and telling him about his starry eyes.
or maybe he'd just had enough of you already. decided that a few weeks was enough time spent trying to change things between the two of you.
as you finished showering and changed into comfortable clothes, you glanced at the clock which read 10:56pm. you switched on the television to watch some youtube before going to bed. as you felt yourself dozing off, a faint knock sounded at your door, so quiet you almost missed it.
when you opened the door, you were shocked to see yeosang standing there, leaning against the door frame for support. he looked up at you, his normally starry eyes were dulled with tears.
you rushed forward to him, smelling the alcohol as you got closer, "yeosang are you okay? what are you doing here? i thought you were sick. are you drunk? you never drink, come inside." you gently pulled him inside, closing the door behind you. when you turned to face him, he was staring at you, tears about to spill over the brim of his eyes.
"i hate you." he breathed out, voice barely louder than a whisper. he didn't seem angry though, he looked fragile, like a glass vase balancing on the edge of a table.
you felt the urge to cry, finally hearing those three words that confirmed your biggest concern, yeosang disliking you. "yeosang, i'm so sorry. i never meant to—"
"i hate you." he said, louder this time before running a hand through his hair hastily. he let out a frustrated groan, dragging his hands down his face. "i hate the tugging feeling in my heart whenever we're alone. i hate the way you put yourself before others. i hate the way you ramble on when you're nervous. i hate the way your eyes sparkle when you laugh. i hate the way i don't drink around you because i feel the need to protect you and make sure you're safe. i hate the way i tried to ignore you for two years because i was scared and confused about my own feelings. i hate how it only took one cup of coffee with you for my walls to come crashing down!" he paced from side to side, waving his hands around crazily.
yeosang looked scared and lost, like he'd never felt this way about anyone before, and that was the truth. he didn't know how to comprehend these feelings and it terrified him.
you watched as he spiralled, seeming as though it would never stop. you weren't sure what to do, so you just listened to that swelling feeling in your heart once again, the one that had led you to develop feelings for yeosang, and you pulled him close into your arms. he clung onto you tightly, scared to let go, like if he did then he'd lose you forever. you ran your fingers through his hair briefly, trying your best to comfort him.
"i'm sorry." you repeatedly whispered to him. you'd never meant to upset him or confuse him.
yeosang let out a quiet sob into your chest, "i hate the way i've fallen in love with you." he croaked out.
he didn't hate you. never did. never will. your heart swelled completely in your chest, feeling as though it would burst through. but it couldn't be true. he's totally drunk out of his mind.
"you're not in your right mind, yeosang, you need to get home. you're drunk and talking nonsense." you embraced him tightly one more time, and you could've sworn you felt the beat of his heart through the hug. "come on," you urged, steering him towards the door, "wooyoung and san are probably worried and waiting up for you."
with much effort, you led him down the stairs of your apartment block and walked him home. the street lamps led you in the freezing city night air. you held his wrist lightly, guiding him up the stairs to his own apartment. he didn't speak a single word the whole time, instead, sniffling and wiping at his eyes. it hurt you so much to see him this broken, but you knew he wasn't saying the truth under control of the alcohol in his veins.
you knocked at his apartment door, hoping that one of the boys were still awake. luckily, they both were and quickly they flung the door open.
"y/n? yeosang?" san questioned, his eyes wide open with disbelief.
"we've been so worried about you!" wooyoung said, pulling yeosang away from you. "hang on, are you drunk?"
san had noticed his tired, tear stained eyes, "you look like you've been crying! are you okay?"
you let out a quiet sigh, knowing you didn't need to be here anymore. you gave a small wave goodbye and headed home, utterly exhausted.
and though you were so drained, you couldn't seem to fall asleep. those words yeosang said to you kept running through your mind busily.
did he mean any of it?
————————
yeosang felt bad. he felt terrible. like he wanted to vanish into thin air and float away with the breeze. though he couldn't, no, he desperately wanted to apologise to you. but he didn't know how, he wasn't good with words or expressing his feelings, and you wished he knew that was something you loved about him.
wooyoung and san tried to ask him what happened the night he drunkenly confessed to you, but he couldn't have them know that he'd been harbouring feelings for you for all this time, they'd never let him live it down. he could imagine the continuous teasing they'd give him, nudging him whenever you were together or giving him side glances after talking to you.
yeosang gave it lots of thought. he mulled it over in his head repeatedly. it was only after hours spent hidden away in his room that he decided to go back to where it all started, a text. a text that said how much he wanted to make it up to you for having to deal with him drunk, just like the one you'd sent initially.
yeosang: hey y/n, i feel really bad about the other day, i wanna know how i can make it up to you! T^T
your heart leapt a mile seeing his name appear on your phone. you grinned upon reading his message, realising it was scarily similar to the message you had first sent him.
you: hmmm you: that sounds familiar
yeosang: >.< yeosang: seriously though, how does dinner at my place tomorrow night sound? i'll cook
you: you can cook?
yeosang: there's a lot you don't know about me x_x
you: okay, i'll be there !!
————————
yeosang wasn't lying when he said he can cook. as you traipsed up the stairs of his apartment block you could smell something delicious laced in the air.
the usual swelling in your heart had instead fell to the pit of your stomach, you were feeling slightly nervous as to what would happen when you entered yeosang's apartment. you inhaled deeply before knocking at the door of his apartment.
"hey y/n, come in." yeosang greeted, holding an arm out, signalling for you to come inside.
"you must've been working hard cooking! it smells delicious." you said, feeling a sense of comfort just from the smell of food.
"yeah, lucky i sent wooyoung and san over to jongho's place, otherwise i doubt there would be any pasta to serve." he joked. "you can take a seat, i've just gotta serve up."
you sat down in front of a neatly laid table, it had somewhat surprised you how much effort yeosang had put into this dinner tonight. he placed a steamy hot plate of pasta in front of you and one where he would sit.
"so." he began.
"so." you copied, teasingly.
"i guess, i really just wanted to say i'm sorry for how i behaved the other night when i was drunk. you shouldn't of had to deal with that." he frowned, poking at his dinner.
you furrowed your brows, "it's seriously fine yeosang." you took a bite of pasta, "i was just surprised to see you drunk, since you never drink."
he chuckled, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth, "actually, i do. i just never drink when you're there."
"really? why?" you questioned, eating another mouthful of pasta.
"because..." he paused. "no, it sounds dumb out loud."
"it's okay, you don't have to explain yourself." you smiled warmly, "but that does remind me to ask... do you remember anything you said to me while you were drunk?" you leant forward, genuinely curious.
he sighed, "i remember.. enough."
"you don't really hate me, right?" you asked, playing with the food on your plate.
"of course not! that's why i invited you here tonight. to show you that i don't, and to make it up to you." he had to refrain from reaching across to hold your hand, just to show how much he cared that little bit more.
you nodded, "well, thats good. i was kinda worried that we'd gone back to square one."
comfort settled within you. it was relieving to know you weren't hated by the one person whose love you wanted most. a tiny thought crept into your mind, maybe, just maybe, now would be the right time to tell him about your blossoming feelings for him. or would that confuse him more? now you were the one feeling conflicted.
"are you finished eating?" he asked, reaching for your empty plate.
"yes, thank you! it was delicious. you're a good cook, y'know."
"ah, thanks y/n." he turned away to hide the blush appearing on his cheeks.
"would you like me to do the dishes? since you cooked." you offered, standing up. but he quickly opposed.
"don't be ridiculous." he shooed you back to your seat. "can i get you a coffee? water? wine?"
"a coffee sounds good, i think you and i have had too many drunken situations lately." you laughed.
yeosang pulled out two mugs and put the kettle on. he felt your eyes carefully watching him. once again, he hated the feeling that was pulling at his heart. the way you could say nothing, yet he felt everything.
"can i tell you something?" you asked, voice now quieter and more hesitant.
"sure, what is it?" he said, placing a warm cup of coffee in front of you.
you took a sip, humming in delight. it was exactly the way you liked it. when the two of you went out for coffee, he had unintentionally remembered just the way you like it.
"well," you began cautiously, in case you brought this situation into flames again. "i just... i always wondered why you didn't like me. if i was doing something wrong, if i said something once that really upset you. and then after we started spending time together, i finally felt like i was doing the right thing." you groaned, frustrated with yourself for not getting to the point quicker. "what i'm trying to say is that i have feelings for you. it's okay if you don't feel the same way. i wouldn't expect you to, i just thought you should know—"
yeosang basically choked on his coffee, eyes widening in shock. "it's okay, y/n! in case you hadn't noticed, i'm crazy about you."
you had continued to ramble nervously before hearing what he said.
"wait. you are?"
"basically ever since you said that thing about stars in my eyes, yes."
you cringed, remembering how you had said that so absent minded. "yeah, sorry about that."
"it's okay, it was cute. and what did i say about apologising?"
you shook your head and smiled, "i know."
————————
ever since the two of you confessed to each other, you had been almost inseparable, except of course when you had work. but he dropped you home most nights, even though you insisted it was okay and that you could walk. he came over every weekend just to spend time with you, even if the two of you just sat and talked, enjoying each other's company. you'd been dating for a few weeks now, but kept it undercover, not wanting to suffer the incessant questioning that would come if you told your friends.
it didn't go unnoticed either, wooyoung and san were constantly nagging yeosang about why the two of you spent so much time together, and each time he just shrugged it off.
christmas was just around the corner, so you were spending the evening at seonghwa's and hongjoong's house, who of course, were throwing an unnecessarily large house party to celebrate.
you were sat between a very drunk yunho and mingi, who were trying to talk to an also very drunk jongho. you eyed your boyfriend from across the room, as if asking for a way out and he just laughed at the situation you were stuck in.
after at least ten minutes more of having your ear talked off, yeosang came to pull you away to the dance floor.
"care to dance?" he asked, extending his hand to you.
you immediately jumped up, latching onto his hand, "i would love to!"
he chuckled, pulling you close to his side and leading you to the makeshift dance floor that seonghwa and hongjoong created.
the two of you laughed at the boys' reaction. they were completely shocked to see the two of you so close together and yeosang being friendly.
he twirled you around a few times with the music, before settling his arms around your waist. he brought you near to him as you placed your arms behind his neck. you swayed back and forth, engulfed in your own little bubble of comfort in each other's arms, completely out of time with the loud thumping music that blared around you.
you felt content, and yeosang no longer felt confused. he found his home in your arms and his happiness.
you reached up to place your lips on his, capturing the moment surrounding you. yeosang melted into the kiss, discovering that your lips were soft and sweet against his, just as he had imagined, which caused his knees to feel weak and his heart to skip more than just one beat. he never wanted to let you go, he wanted to compensate for every second that he didn't spend with you since the two of you met.
he leaned forward and whispered softly, just so you could hear above all the music and singing, "lets stay like this forever."
#ateez#ateez yeosang#ateez scenarios#ateez fluff#ateez angst#yeosang fluff#yeosang angst#kang yeosang#yeosang scenarios#yeosang imagines#ateez seonghwa#ateez hongjoong#ateez mingi#ateez jongho#ateez wooyoung#ateez x reader#yeosang x reader#ateez fanfiction#ateez fanfic#ateez san#ateez yunho#ateez seongjoong#ateez yungi
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i have very many thoughts ... au where naoya and yn r fucking around but its very hush yn is very nerdy and religious and naoya well ... right anyways so they fuck like crazy and naoya always does it in places where they are about to get caught and it drives her crazy but then she also has a thing for geto (imagine hes not a villain lol). she’s literally in loveeee with geto bc hes so prim and proper and faithful 😔 but naoya starts going crazy over her making pushs so she knows shes his and it becomes this Huge miscommunication bc thats always the peek. right and massive hate fuck and id imagine by accident naoya kisses her (they didnt before to keep a barrier like makes no sense but whatever) and is super possessive saying “ill get you pregnant if you dont stop talking about him”. smooth brained rn share ur thoughts pls
# 🔞 public fucking, religious! reader, breeding kink, masturbation, hate fucking, implied cheating, possessive naoya
ANONNN IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG FOR ME TO ANSWER THIS, but anyways *fans self* i need to touch some grass after this
oh gosh good girl reader....or at least you look like a good girl. you’re known for how well behaved and prim and proper you are. always keeping your head down low, voice never growing too loud and just the perfect ideal woman who also is firm on their beliefs and goes to church every sunday as you go down on your knees to worship — who would ever think that you’re actually capable of fooling around with naoya zen’in of all people?
everyone knows naoya likes corrupting people, and you’re just another one of those fools who fell for his charms.
and he likes putting you in trouble too. by trouble, he literally does not care the slightest bit about being caught. in fact, he even entertains the idea of it. pulls you aside after a prayer to fuck you in the ladies’, his large palm flat on your mouth while he fucks you greedily from behind, calling you all sorts of names that were far too sinful for such a sacred place. and if that wasn’t enough, he makes sure he stuffs you full of his cum before he pushes you out the door, urging you to keep it all in or else.
you really don’t want to find out what might happen next.
but it drives you crazy, absolutely crazy that you spend many nights thinking of sinful things with your fingers trailing past the band of your underwear.
it was wrong, filthy, immoral — a young lady like you should know better than this. but he was too charming, too vile, too good at being bad that you simply could not resist such temptation.
he makes you feel dirty.
and the worst part? you loved it.
until you met geto. geto was the best man, the ideal one that you wanted to marry. he was formal, sweet, kind, polite, and gentlemanly — he was everything naoya was not. his kindness and patience to court you, to gain the approval of your hand in marriage made you fall in love with him, and thoughts of naoya are pushed back before you realized it. and when naoya found out that you were no longer his (not that you ever were, you were but a cocksleeve to him) he was beyond infuriated.
stealing you away from your lover, he reminds you of the graveness of your sins for messing around with such a despicable man like him. and aww, you hate him?
if you did, then why were you clenching down on him so hard, begging him to go faster and fuck into you deeper when seconds ago you wrre trying to push him away, claiming that this was wrong?
he calls bullshit.
to prove his point, he tugs at your chin roughly to press a kiss at your open lips, shocking you both since he’d long made it clear kissing was too intimate, and he didn’t need intimacy after making it painfully clear he was only after your pussy and nothing else. soon, you’re coming undone around him, coating his cock with your juices with his name spilling from open-mouthed kisses.
gosh, you were so good at making him feel good that of course he would be addicted to you, until —
“naoya, stop. geto might find out.”
you feel the slightest pressure begin to tighten down your airway, fiery eyes meeting yours with such an intensity that you actually burn. and maybe you already burned in hell a long time ago, for you’ve chosen to bite on the forbidden apple that crushed any chances of redemption.
“talk about him again,” he warns in a low voice, teeth dragging down your neck, the grazing of his teeth bringing a chill down your spine. upon feeling you shiver, naoya hardens even more inside you. “and i’ll get you pregnant. that way, you really will be mine, and i don’t plan on giving you away just to anyone.”
#naoya x reader#naoya zenin x reader#naoya x reader smut#naoya zenin x reader smut#naoya zenin smut#asks with naoya's trophy wife#naoya thirsts 💦#OH GOSH HELP I WROTE THIS ON MY PHONE AGSJWKALAA#love you anon pls feed me more
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Hi! I was wondering if you could do headcanons with L and/or Near from death note with a S/O that is Nonbinary and uses Neopronouns. Specifically comfort headcanons where a close friend or family member finds out about neopronouns through someone with similar pronouns and they mock the person's pronouns very openly. I had something similar happen to me recently and I just need some form of comfort from my favorite comfort characters. Also I love your writing!
I’m so sorry that happened to you, love. As a fellow neopronoun user, you deserve respect for what makes you feel comfortable. Im so sorry this took so long, hopefully these bring you a smile, at least. Im sending you a virtual hug! <3
L and Near with a nb!s/o who uses neopronouns
L Lawliet
First off, too be clear, he himself would never judge you for such a thing. There’s no point in it. It makes you comfortable, and makes you happy, you’re not harming anyone, there’s no problem!
The first time he hears them bring it up, he’s quite confused. Obviously he knew there were going to be people against the way you present yourself, there’s always a few bad apples in the bunch, but your own family? Your own friends? That doesn’t feel like them,,
Why are they so worried about it that they’re taking the time to make jokes about it? What’s so funny about it? What’s the punchline? It frustrates him. There’s no logical reason for them to do this,, so why?
He’ll ask you about when you two get away from the situation, and if you need calming down or anything, he’s very good at subtly de-escalating situations. He’ll remind you that what you’re doing isn’t wrong. There’s absolutely no problem with you, it’s the assholes in the other room that don’t have the heart to just accept other people for who they are.
He now isn’t exactly fond of whoever was making these remarks, by the way, and will be doing his best to make you feel better about yourself in day to day life. He will be unnecessary excessive about it, most of the time he’s being totally serious even as joking as it can come off at times.
He’ll (not so) cleverly talk about you very loudly so you can hear that he’s using the pronouns you most prefer, and will constantly remind every single person he works with of which ones you like best, among a bunch of other slightly silly things. He thinks, hey, if anything it’ll at least crack a smile from you, right?
From there, though, it can really go one of two ways.
Option one, L makes sarcastic or snide remarks at them every time he sees them. He’s very good at being very mean with very few words. He has little to no boundaries on these things either, he can and will leave them speechless with one joke.
He will only be doing that if you’re alright with it, though. If that’s not something you’re comfortable with, he simply will keep his mouth shut.
Can’t promise he won’t send a few judging glances their way though,,
Option two, he will indirectly keep you away from them as much as possible. You probably won’t even notice, but you’ll find yourself only being with those people when it’s absolutely necessary to be.
He’s obviously not going to completely cut you off from them without your permission or any of that jazz, but he’s certainly not opposed to you doing so. They can’t be the best of people if they wouldn’t respect your identity.
Those are his two ways of doing things and there is no third /j
Generally, though, he just prefers you to be comfortable over anything else. He can handle others emotions fairly well, and it infuriates him that these loved ones of yours are acting this way. You don’t deserve to hear that stuff, especially when it’s something you hold so dear like that.
Nate River (Near)
Near has a different approach to things than L does, he won’t get as,, directly involved.
Once you tell him about it, he simply says you should cut them out of your life. No sarcasm, no jokes. Just “if you know they won’t respect you, why do you keep them around? you don’t exactly need them, do you?”
Obviously you can’t just,, get rid of them, it’s not that easy. To him it’s a simple choice, though. They’re being pricks about something they shouldn’t be sticking their nose in, they’re being bigoted.
You don’t need people with that level of toxicity in your life. He goes on a bit of a rant about it, actually.
“That group doesn’t deserve you in it. If they’re going to act like children about something so minuscule, there’s nothing saying you have to babysit them”
It’s their problem that they’re not open minded enough to accept people as they come, it shouldn’t be your responsibility to deal with them and teach them basic respect.
That’s the way he sees it, at least.
If you’re ever really upset about it, though, he’ll have you sit on the floor with him and talk about it while he does whatever he may be doing with his toys
He understands now how difficult it could be to cut these people off, so he does the best he can to get it into your head how ridiculous their dumb jokes are.
He doesn’t like repeating himself, but he will repeat this over and over as many times as it takes. It’s not you that needs changing, you are wonderful how you are, it’s them that needs to rethink their mindset.
#I hope this is in character#I hope you enjoy this love#💜💙💜💙💜#death note#death note headcanons#death note x reader#l lawliet headcanons#l lawliet#l lawliet x reader#near death note#near x reader#nate river#nate river x reader#bun bun writes
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hiii! this month I’ve read a lot of great fics, so I decided is time to start my monthly fic rec… that means I’ll be doing a short fic rec and recap every month with my favorite fics of the month
note: the fics I’ll be mentioning weren't necessarily posted recently
!!! - please be careful and read all the tags and/or warnings before start reading and left kudos and nice messages to the authors <33
❀ Divinely Blessed by thinlines @thinlinez | 17k | Explicit | ABO | fic post
“I heard you, Ni. But what do you mean?”
“What do you mean what I mean?”
Harry rolled his eyes as he shoved his alpha friend down onto a seat. “Did you mean you lick someone out or…?”
“Nah, mate! It was me! I got licked out!” Harry could only stare at Niall in horror.
Alpha Harry prides himself on having the bravest and most caring omega who might or might not just fulfill his sudden curiosity.
note: for some reason i don’t know i fell in love with the ABO and found this fic someway and WOW! it’s really fluffy and sweet and while i was reading all i could think about was “god! i really want someone who love me like Harry loves Lou and viceversa” and also has a great smut scene, funny and well writen (cliff ily babe)
❀ Promise me you won’t run away by thinlines | 23k | Explicit | ABO | Español
“Does kissing me stop you from having bad thoughts?” Harry asked, voice muffled into the collar of Louis’ dress shirt. Louis chuckled at this. He trailed a hand down Harry’s back, feeling the muscles tensing along with his touch.
“I guess you can say that. You’re a good distraction.”
“Then I will be the best distraction.” Harry answered, pulling back and watched Louis’ lips unashamedly.
“Come distract me, then.”
Or the Prince/ Knight AU in which Harry left Louis, but the omega never once gave up on them.
note: this fic is beautiful and really REALLY well written, i need to say i cried and im the most cold person in the world but this caught me and I LOVED IT! but also when i finished it i got mad because in the end notes was the spanish translation and i read it in english lmao; anyway i love it!!!... summing this up, the fic made me thought about that LOVE ALWAYS WIN <33
❀ Twist the knife by jishler @jishlerfics | 6k | Explicit | Angst / Smut | fic post
Infuriating, but Louis missed it. Louis missed him. His thighs and his chest and breath and warmth and toothbrush next to Louis’. He missed sex with Harry but he missed his presence more: Louis would settle for watching Harry get himself off if it meant he got to see him; hear the voice that was like a soothing balm over all his wounds.
Two weeks after their breakup, Harry wants his toys back.
note: i definetely don’t read smut in purpose and the reason i’ve read this was because i love the moodboard BUT i need to thank the person who put it on my dash because i liked it so much!! was fun to read and the smut is pretty well written :))
❀ Hold you now by solvetheminourdreams @solvetheminourdreams | 131k | Angst with happy ending | fic post | playlist
The string within Harry's own sweatpants is now dangling outside of his pocket, stretched so far out that the seams of his pants have tightened. His eyes remain hyper focused on Louis, how oblivious he is—scrolling through his phone without a care in the world, while Harry feels his tilt on its axis.
Three years ago, Harry Styles said goodbye to communications consultancy firm McQuiston Worldwide, leaving a life of travel and agency PR behind. When he accompanies his best friend to a family wedding across the Atlantic, he'll be forced to reopen old wounds and face his past—one that no one wants to hash out, but may just have to.
note: at the end of the first chapter i was emotional, is the kind of fic that you feel every single emotion, the one you literally feel are part of it... it’s perfectly well written and please give it a chance and check all the stef’s works because she’s a super talented writer... if i say something else i’ll probably do spoilers so, shut up ana.
❀ The money mark by brightgolden @brightgolden | 52k | Explicit | ABO | fic post
Harry's heart beats faster in his chest as the name sinks in. The Tomlinson name is awfully familiar, and he isn’t sure how many rich Tomlinsons are out here in London, but he knew one. Seven years ago.
Like all fine things in the world, Louis Tomlinson ages exceptionally well.
OR
Where Louis is Harry’s first sugar daddy who dumped him over text and their paths cross, seven years later.
note: THIS IS MY FAVORITE FIC OF THE YEAR. sorry, but this fic is super well written, is omega harry + alpha louis and find smth like this is almost impossible! but i loved the fact that harry could be an omega and a sugar baby but he’s independant and strong and wow! it’s amazing; everyone should read it because it’s really good!! (ps. louis is the alpha of my dreams, he’s a complete gentlemen)
❀ Sweet like candy by neodiamond @neondiamond | 4k | General Audiences | ABO | fic post
Louis is an Alpha with an odd obsession for gummy bears. Harry is an Omega who makes friends a little too easily. They meet on the bus.
note: this is the cutest fluffy fic I have ever read! strangers to friends to lovers <333
❀ Literally making love by Brooklyn_babylon @twopoppies | 30k | Explicit | Robot/Human Relationship | fic post
Holding up one of the android's eyes to the workshop’s windows, he smiled as the light picked up the gold flecks in the pale green of his irises. Louis had always paid attention to even the tiniest details.
--
All Louis intended to do was rescue someone in need from loneliness. He had no idea it would be himself.
note: science + me = signal error BUT this fic. OMG. how to say this is one of the fics would be in my recap at the end of the year; i have read another fic by Gina and was really good but this is probably my favorite between both of them... all i know and want now is to create my perfect partner lmao.
❀ I’m gonna keep this love, if you let me by pixies @tomlinbuns | 26k | Explicit | ABO | fic post
Louis makes Harry pretend to be his boyfriend one night out. The rest is history.
note: this one is simple to discribe... the best of the best. one of my favorites abo fics, funny, teasing and very romantic. i enjoyed so much read how these two guys fell in love with each other. god bless this fic <33
❀ Beautiful stranger by lovelarry10 @chloehl10 | 66k | Explicit | ABO / Mpreg | fic post
“Did you want to- oh. Uh, sorry, I-” Harry stuttered, licking his lips as he looked over Louis’ bare torso, not focusing on the ocean ahead of him. “You’re very distracting, Lou.”
“Trying to tell me you haven’t seen a topless Omega before?” Louis asked, walking back to his rucksack and grabbing a bottle of suncream out of it before returning to stand by Harry.
“Not one as stunning as you,” he thought he heard Harry mutter as he started to rub the cream into his shoulders.
*****
When Alpha Harry Styles attends the Gucci Cruise 2020 show, he knows what to expect: clothes, clutch bags, and a few too many pretentious people. What he doesn’t expect, however, is to run into an Omega who is more beautiful than anything on the runway.
note: this fic is from 2019 but who cares, i loved it so much and i want to thank/blame @justalarryblog because she unintentionally recommended it to me in her abo fic rec post and now i want someone like this harry in my life... is it too much to ask? because is one of the most beautiful abo fics i’ve read this month and wow. if you haven’t read it yet, what are you waiting for??
❀ Waiting on you by beckywritesthings @beckydoesthings | 21k | Mature | Mpreg | fic post
“Do you want to touch?” Harry asks, taking one of his hands off to tangle with Louis’. His open invitation finally drags Louis’ attention away from his baby and up to his face, blue eyes wobbly with emotions. It’s clear that he’s too taken to really form words, so Harry takes the initiative to press their laced hands against his shirt fabric, warmth from the skin radiating through.
Louis pushes his shirt up to his chest, taking Harry’s hand and pressing it to hold the fabric in place. His hands return to warm skin, palms even more scalding now that there’s nothing in between them. And then, as if that wasn’t enough for Harry’s heart to handle, Louis leans in, pressing his lips right above his belly button.
“Hi, baby,” he says, lips moving across his skin softly. “I’m your… I’m Louis.”
Or Harry is pregnant with a stranger’s baby and Louis doesn’t know. It’s a minor detail that Harry’s both living with Louis and in love with him. No big deal.
note: this fic is really new, someone reblogged the fic post and when i saw it first i was like ‘huh?’ and then suddendly (in less than a minute) decided it was the next thing i’ll be reading and now i’m completely in love with it. Lou i need to say you’re the kind of guy everyone wants in their life <3
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❀ all the love, ana. xx
#monthly fic recs#larry fic rec#trackinghome#1dsource#tracksintheam#it's too late to publish this??? idk and idc hope someone like this#and again thanks to the author for their amazing fics!!!#28th appreciation#my fic rec
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im telling you guys, yall are NOT gonna like my opinion on the incest in this show as a victim of incest
honestly i was just gonna leave it at that but im gonna put it all under the cut so i can nuke it if this gets out of hand. obvious tw for incest but real actual incest and csa
so ive been a victim of incest. what happened was my cousin, who was my age, got me to play a "game" where we were just humping each other. i was uncomfortable because it was surrounding something i didn't know about* and knew i shouldn't know about, and i didn't want to get in trouble when we got caught. so i squealed, they talked to him, and it stopped. he asked me to play once after, i said no, we did something else
(*i was a sheltered kid, and he was already on the internet. i was 8-9)
but that's not when i was a victim of incest.
what really happened was my mother had a strange fixation on my ass when i was prepubescent. and when i started going through puberty and developing, she'd slap it as i was walking by, no matter how many times i voiced my discomfort. she also showered with me past the appropriate age and once touched my vagina under the guise of "cleaning" it, and as i grew up would have an uncomfortable fixation with my affection, and there was an incident where shed plant long, sloppy kisses on me and smell me, like take a huge fucking whiff. and she even admitted she had a fake version of me in her head that she talked to. it was emotional incest with a side order of real incest
and my opinion?
shut the fuck up about the incest jesus christ.
i remember when i saw this therapist. my mom was isolating me away from my entire support system and i was spiraling hard. i told him everything and he concluded i had PTSD
but not from my abusive mother.
from my cousin.
the insistence that the incest was the worst thing that could've possibly happened to me infuriated me back then, and it infuriates me now.
the uncomfortable experience with my cousin paled in comparison to the repeated, rampant abuse i suffered at the hands of my mother. not even the incest shit, the other stuff.
but the insistence that incest is the Be All End All of bad harmed me. it prevented me from getting the help i needed- once i revealed that experience, it was all that therapist focused on. not my mother. not the damage she was currently doing to me. a weird encounter with my cousin.
which brings me here.
the whole.... point of this show is to reveal the seedy underbelly of society. how immoral it all is, the things normal people would shy away from and be disgusted by. and the incest is just.... one of those things. it's not portrayed as good, nothing in this show is! but yall treat "not explictly treated as the worst thing possible" as "glorifying and fetishizing" and its getting on my goddamn nerves
and before yall say "yeah but there's just some things that are too far!" by whose metric? yours?
another person who watches the show could say that izaya's kidnapping of suicidal girls is "too far." another could even say that a man having dyed hair is "too far." someone else could say that the high-school characters being in gangs is "too far." why should everyone follow your metric of what "too far" is? why are you the main arbiter of good and evil in fiction?
and i'm not saying you have to like the incest. it does cross a line for a lot of people, including other victims of incest. i get it.
but its mere presence isnt suddenly worlds worse than everything else in this show, and it certainly isn't something that needs to be fixed. sorry ur girlboss gaslight slayqueen fave is an incestuous pedophile but that's just the canon of the show and it fits with the theme of the show. you just want it to be fixed because you can't bring yourself to like her with this information, you have to moralize everyfuckingthing you do, including liking a character, because liking a character means you agree with everything she does??
again its FINE if people want to make fan content of her without the incest in it, blah blah et cetera I GET IT, but acting like its some sort of moral failing on narita's part for even including it in the first place is kind of selfish and misses the point of the . whole series
#cancellation speedrun#please dont be braindead about this#sorry i dont think incest is miles and miles apart in severity than any other evil#that wasnt very 'one of the good aspds' of me
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5; 8 and 9 please and nsfw is optional.
Yes, the feral trio I never did a poly yandere before, and sorry for being so late school was holding me at gunpoint
P.s it's 1:43 am where im at and I got zoom at 7:10 I'll edit the grammar mistakes later but I didn't want you to have to wait any longer
Characters: Skully, Masky, Hoodie
Words 5k
TW: yandere thoughts, cussing, kidnapping, drugging
You met Jay during college when the teacher put you both together for a school project, you got to have a good read on his personality with Jay, being a curious goofy character with a charming atmosphere surrounding him.
After a while, you decided to start the project filming causal nature. you both shared a passion for nature being calmed by the forest, and the woodland creatures which made you closer. After a while, you noticed that he would rarely talk to any of his other friends in favor of talking to you.
This led to many intervals where you caught him staring at you during class and followed you around like a puppy which although made you irritated you brushed it off thinking nothing of it, after all, it's just goofy Jay being Jay.
But alas he fell victim to your charm the conversations he had with you stuck with him and the moments where you were in his presence kept him going till the next day, you reached his heart unlike anybody else he met, and he lived for you alone perhaps it was the way you carried yourself through the gloomy days or the way you were more kind-hearted than anyone he ever met.
He longed to catch your eye and make you laugh but certain feelings were starting to stew inside him whenever he caught your friends talking to you especially if they were putting their hands on your beautiful body and even if they did so casually it made him infuriated he believed that he should be the only one that should be graced by your presence not them
After all, you never knew their intentions but he had a gut feeling they weren't good they didn't love you they only loved you for your looks and looks alone but he loved everything about you and he didn't know why but alas he had friends who were close to you those friends being Brian and Tim his colleague's since high school
However, he had to obtain your affection and warmth to protect you so he wormed his way into your dating life because he had known your crush had his dark secrets that he cheated on his exes and he just couldn't let this snake wrap his suffocating coil and sink his poisonous fangs into you for his esteem
So to resolve this fear of his he followed him home in the dark and threatened to shoot him if he didn't avoid you like a plague but without his knowledge, he didn't know that he was being watched by none other than Tim who mentally noted with haste that he's not the only one who took a liking to you and strolled out of Jay's sight before he could notice him
Relief washed over as he went back to his secret home surrounded by woods away from his lonely college dorm comforted by the fact that the guy that tried to use you had been put in his rightful place now thanks to him all he had to worry about now was the fact that his other friends also shared a connection with you that was too close for his liking
You were his everything now and while he still cherished his friends he wasn't going to let either of them have you even if it put him in danger of course you only saw the good in people and that would include Tim and Brian which he would grow to admire but it would also make him nervous but despite that he knows you love him and he had to make a move quickly to prove he's the only right one for you
Oh how he longed to be anything that would make you happy and today being Valentine's day he promised himself this was going to be the day he asks you out and you'll say yes or at least he certainly hoped you would he grabbed a few things from the store some gifts he hoped would win your appreciation but he had a thought cropped in his mind what if you rejected him and if you did do such a thing how distraught he would be
He waved away those thoughts in his mind trying to convince himself he played his cards right after all he frightened any competition away from you while making sure to be by your side at every moment you needed him the thought of your gentle voice accepting his confession of love made his uneasy mind now calm and focused
Once he reached the school province he took the bag of gifts consisting of chocolates of your favorite brand and bouquets of lovely crimson flowers that are a symbol of his love for you he was finally ready to be your lover and he sure as hell hoped you were too as that thought passed his mind he peeked his head around the corner to your dorm
What he saw made his blood boil and felt a violent sensation he couldn't understand at the time and what he witnessed was Tim brushing his lips against your while caressing your cheek with his rough hand you weren't flinching away but rather leaning in into the troublesome kiss he didn't know Tim could do this he thought he made it clear that she belonged to him
Tim look so entranced by the way your chest raised and fell in sync with his own as he leaned closer with his arm bending above your head caging you against your dorm door
While Jay was peaking he noticed that Tim had a card with a heart placed on in front of it in one of his hands
He quickly pieced together that he had gotten to you first before him as he felt despair overwhelm him why did you have to love Tim of all people he quickly grabbed the gifts and descended the stairs as quickly and quietly as possible at the same time he felt hot tears stain his bitter cheeks that day he drove back to his home weeping
But as he stepped inside an environment of misery following behind him as he sat down on the sofa he didn't think he'd have the guts to kill Tim but little did he know that someone else was in the room with him that individual being Tim and although he didn't want to admit it
Tim planned to kill Jay ever since he witnessed him threaten to kill his old crush since you confessed about liking him which was a big mistake on your part but Tim was glad Jay took care of him but now he had to kill Jay but he acknowledges he didn't want to at all but Tim was afraid of what Jay was capable of when it comes to his unstableness
He knew Jay was infatuated with you and that he's been getting more and more unusual as you continued to spend time with him and he started to dissociate with Brian and Tim which was starting to get concerning because Jay was starting to become extra dependent on your affection to distract him from all the chaos going on in his life
But Jay himself was starting to take drastic measures to prove himself to you and Tim never thought Jay could be capable of violence but he's seen firsthand that he the man that he thought wouldn't harm an insect was contemplating murder out of love
So with guilt, he grabbed his firearm and stared as Jay slowly was lured into a deep slumber he slowly opened the oak closet door so that it was vastly ajar and he tiptoed quietly towards Jays sleeping form beads of sweat was beginning to form on his forehead
Once he loomed over the trembling man's resting figure his silhouette casting a shadow over him his hands shook as he raised the revolver to Jay's temple and his finger was on the trigger there was a small click followed by a thunderous bang
The gory sight of Jay would be etched into his mind for the rest of his life but it would be worth it to protect you but he had to admit it he for some reason felt relief in his mind and another feeling that was off it was a euphoric adrenaline rush he noticed that he was still shaking and realized that he should evade the scene as quickly as possible back to you
You were sleeping so soundly in Tims dorm and Hoodie thought your sleeping form was so beautiful so vulnerable he's been watching you for a while through Brian and he thought this would be the perfect moment to steal you away after he saw the note Tim wrote a letter to you inviting you to come to his place for valentines day
How romantic of him too bad Hoodies going to whisk you away now he recalls seeing you and Tim go on a dinner date in Tim's kitchen he prepared your favorite dish the reason he knows this was because he placed cameras in more secretive places to check on Tim and his episodes when he would become Masky and go out to do God knows what
Hoodie knew Tim was trying to keep he alter personality a secret from you as well as hide his more obsessive side when he would become Masky he would stalk you and take pictures of you going about your day and attach it to his wall later to look at when Tims feeling emotional which Tim had to compile in a box the day previously so you wouldn't freak out at him
Which Hoodie would probably have to steal along with you was a thought that came across his mind as he prepared a syringe with an unknown liquid inside of it from underneath Tims mattress he watched the scruffy brunette man got up and picked up a revolver from the drawer with his pale hands and walked out making sure to keep the gun hidden from anyone's view
Once he was out of sight propped up upon his shoulders he began crawling out from under the bed as quietly as possible as not to disturb your sleep as he stood up gazing upon your softly snoring form as he was searching for the perfect spot to prick your neck with the fluid once he found it he punctured the soft flesh injecting the liquid in your bloodstream you awoke for a second not long enough to examine him but only to be held down by the powerful man as he clasped his rough fingers around your both your wrist
"Shhhhhhh [Name.] baby just relax" he mumbled somewhat gently with a smug smile etched on his face, his thoughts instantly twisting into ideas of what he was going to do to you when you finally got back to where you truly belonged. "Everything is going to be just fine."
As soon as the drug invaded your mind and your world faded once again at the same time he hastily took you into his arms and started his journey back to his abandoned cabin into the darkness of the night and when he reached his own home he settled you in the bed in his room with ropes gripping your hands attached to the old oak foundation of the bed as he snuggled into your warm body once he was feeling bold as the night proceeded
"I've been wanting to do this for a fucking real long time." He mutters under his breath into the crook of the cozy soft flesh of your neck "Best part is that he doesn't know where I live so he can't take you away."
Tim didn't know what the hell could've happened while he visited Jay but all he knew was that something was wrong and now you were missing with no signs clues of to where you might be it was only when he found a note under the blankets with just three words that made his blood run cold
She's mine now
Now he knew has an idea of who could've done it Brian has been strange as well lately by giving death glares to him when Tim tries to flirt with you not only that but he seemed to be more encouraging of Jay's stalkerish behavior Tim now realized the mistake he made earlier by leaving you alone to murder Jay before he could murder him Tim believed the only reason Brian was nudging Jay to stalk you was to get Jay to stop bothering him and let him live in peace but now that Jay was dead there was no other suspect left but Brian
As he was piecing together what could've transpired he heard a buzzing coming from his cell phone he took the phone in his hand while the faint glow of light was still emanating when the device as he saw the message from none other than Brian with a string of numbers possibly coordinates to his location where he kidnapped you from him while he was busy
His breath started to get more uneven with his eyes dilating out of fear while thoughts flew past his mind about your safety he was started to hold himself with his hands gripping diagonally at his upper arms while the fabric of his flannel creased as a reaction to his strength he started to tremble not out of distress but resentment his knuckles started transforming into a snowy white from how hard he was clenching his fist
His mind was beginning to feel fuzzy as his own thoughts were starting to get quiet but the static in his mind was getting only louder followed by a loud booming voice that was starting to overtake him again but this time he welcomed it as he didn't know what other actions he could take
Once it finally overtook him a sinister simile was plastered upon his parched slips he was going to get you back and slaughter Brian as atonement for stealing you and maybe keep you in the cabin away from the violence and then he would fix everything thus you would belong to him
"Fuck Brian you know I'd do anything to protect [Name.] anything for her to be mine." He growled under his breath, eyes now focused on the porcelain mask with dark circles around its eyes with eyes knitted up in what appears to be suprise and pitch jet lips on the wall he told you was just for decoration "You're about to regret what you've just done." He remarks followed by a deep huskier chuckle
He clutches his handgun yet again and sets off on a search to locate the coordinates stepping into his vehicle and sliding in the keys before turning it to start the engine and pulling out of the college campus parking lot now focusing on the road in front of him and driving into the nightfall as to not be discerned by anybody
When he finally reached the trail to the cabin he started sprinting his way to whatever location Brian had sent him he had no time to waste following a trail of footprints of crunched leaves and snapped twigs on the surface of the ground floor when he finally reached the window of the cabin he stood and pressed an ear to listen for activity in case Brian was preparing an ambush for him in one of the rooms
He heard the sound of a struggle and the sounds of thuds something else that he couldn't quite make out but it was still extremely worrying
Bam...bam...bam! "AARGH!" followed by a thunderous crackling of somebody he couldn't make out the voices clearly but he could at least assume what's occurring...what if it was Brian hurting you because you did something that made him extremely furious if that were the case he'd have to come and rescue you but at the same time he'd have to keep his alter ego a secret to avoid your concern for him
He quickly wrapped his fingers around a nearby rock and launched it directly at the cabin glass window instantly shattering it to sharp pieces and stepping through it carefully and at that moment he could make out masculine yells coming from the room in front of him now he is certain the voice wasn't actually you much to his relief
As he more steps towards the door intertwining his fingers against the knob of the old wooden door and twisting while at the same time putting his strength against the ancient oak entryway he could still make out another familiar yet unknown voice furiously screaming along with Brian shouting among all the commotion which fueled his yearning to harm Brian for bringing both you and him into his annoying scheme even moree
Then as he walked inside the miserable room with the white paint heavily chipping away following that sight he witnessed Brian in a vibrant orange yellowish hoody stained in certain places with what appears to be blood along with a pitch-black fabric mask covering the entirety of his head beside the hood that was pulled over his head another thing he noticed on the material placed on Brian's face was a red frown along with crimson pinpoint dots for eyes additionally just plain worn out jeans that looked to be somewhat dirty he realized that this wasn't actually Brian but his alter ego whose name was unmistakably known to him as hoodie but he was still going to execute him nonetheless for possibly harming you
But the other figure straddling Brian clutching a cell phone above him looked somewhat familiar with a coffee brown leather jacket with a black hood that was also above his head he noticed the man's jacket happens to also be tinted in particular spots with that easily recognizable red liquid in addition to this he wore a mask that resembled that of a skeleton with two rows of square teeth and dark circles on both of the holes where his eyes would be with eyebrows that looked to be expressing with curiosity
"Give me back my phone right now you fucker!" Brian hissed eyes glaring up at the man on above of him trying to get to pry the man off him "And get the fuck off of me!" He added with a hint of irritation
"SHE'S MINE SHE'S MINE YOU CAN'T HAVE HER SHE'S MINE!" The man snarled in an outrage his tone obviously hysterical as he raised his other fist preparing to hit Hoodie with a flurry of punches aimed at his already bloody face
As Masky stepped closer to the scene there was a painfully audible creak and both men stopped for a second before their head began tilting over to Masky's direction than the mysterious man spoke his words flowing out of his mouth like fluid
"Well...well...well remember me?" He implored Masky swiftly changing his tone from outrage to relaxed while staring at him intently still with that emotionless mask whilst Hoodie kept swatting for the man to get off of him
"No who the hell are you and did you send me that text." He questions feeling himself getting more disgruntled with this confusing situation he opens his mouth to speak once again "And where is [Name.] What did you do to her!?" His eyes gaze directly at the unusual man
"Oh, you don't recall me, your friend? that you shot dead in my own home!" The man glares and scowls at Masky the unpleasant memory started to rise in his mind again "You took my love then you took my life and now I'm back for vengeance"
"Jay?" Masky grumbled, "there's no way I killed you, why aren't you dead?!" He shouted his mind racing with questions maybe he was just hallucinating this whole predicament
"Close im Skully, but about your little question I'd rather not answer that." Skully answered back Hoodie now was panting under him from a combination of him being crushed under his weight and his failed attempts to injure Skully with his sore bloody knuckles
Hoodie was beginning to feel lightheaded from only getting to inhale so much oxygen just when he thought he was about to black out Skully stood up with his eyes boring into Maskys then Skully spoke
"I'm going to...kill you then I'll kill hoodie then she'll be mine all mine." Skully's breathing started to hitch and become heavier like a bear's breathing as he slowly took a step towards Masky "it's going to be all okay everything's going to be fine it's about to be the way it should be."
You started to thrash around in your bounds fortunately to you it was becoming looser you tried to observe the darkness of the environment around you to tried to find a way to escape back to safety there were windows but they were boarded up but there was an old door which caught your eye as you limped over to it still sore from the burns of the rope that felt like a harsh heat
As you wrapped your hand around the knob and pushed you heard the conversation of people in the next room so then out of curiosity you put your ear to the door you could make out a thickly deep voice and some the sounds of some light coughing along with Tims's voice which filled you with both relief and fear
Because on one hand, Tim is here to save you from this place but on the other what if he got wounded by that other man after thinking about what to do in this situation for a minute that felt like an eternity you decided it would be best to step into the room help Tim beat that man and escape with his help and call the authorities
As you stepped into the room everybody peered in your direction you caught a good look at them one being Tim with his dark brown hair and yellow jacket and worn jeans and a white mask covering his face with what looks to have dark lips and circles encasing the holes meant for the eyes the man in front him looked a bit similar
He has a tan leather jacket with a raven black hood and the same worn pants and a white mask white rectangular teeth and the same dark circles around the eyes as Tims but this time with the same eyebrows settled in a surprised manner in your direction as if they were startled by you waltzing in the room
And then finally there was that easily recognizable sound of Brian's roughly breathing you heard in your sleep but right now he was on the floor laid flat with blood with a yellow orangish cloth hood along with ordinary jeans and a black cover mask with crimson red frown and two dots for eyes above it
"What's going on! who are you?" You questioned loudly, eyes flickering around the room. you were wondering why they were in costumes was Tim in on this sick circumstance?
"I'm here for you my beloved and im Jay but...in a different form," he announced casually as he made a fist and pointed his thumb to his face "My names now Skully"
You were confused because Skully didn't look like Jay whatsoever he was taller and his voice was a lot deeper almost in a chilling way and his figure looked to be more stronger than Jay with his broad shoulders but the only thing that was the same about him was the way he spoke
"[Name.] Give me a minute to deal with him. I won't be needing your help." Masky sighs casually trying to weave away in his mind to distract Skully so your as least scared as possible
"That's quite a rude way to talk." Skully quickly brought out his hand and grabbed his pocket knife from out of his jean pocket while using his other hand to clench Masky's throat blocking his airways while Masky started making choking sounds trying to struggle out of his grasp
"If you kill him I won't ever love you!" You blurted out of desperation trying to save your lover from getting his throat slashed from Skully's blade your eyes now are being focused on Tims trembling body
Skully faltered at this his breathing now became even more intense then he dropped Tim with a dull thud then he started to clutch his arms and rocked himself ever so slightly back and forth in an attempt to comfort himself from your words
While Skully was distracted Hoodie who was now back to full willpower hastily got up as quick as possible and clenched Skullys knife from behind and had it now hovering over Skullys throat Hoodie didn't say a word and just when he was about to make the slit you perked up
"No, don't kill him either for the love of God!" You cried out you didn't believe that what Skully possibly done was right but that doesn't mean you want him to perish you took a quick breather before continuing "Don't or else I be able to love you either"
Instead of trying to comfort himself in an attempt to forget your words he just gave a disappointed sigh and slowly backed away from Skully while he raised his hands in surrender secretly smirking under his mask now comforted that you saved him
Masky was now staring at Hoodie already reaching in his pocket for his handgun but before he could you interrupted "That goes the same for you too Tim."
And with that, he stopped in his tracks and looked from Hoodie to you with a blank stare so you couldn't be able to get a read with how upset he was that you would say such a thing especially when it was Hoodie that did this to you and dragged him into it
"Actually I got an idea," Hoodie speaks enthusiastically eyeing everyone in the room chuckling as ideas resurfacing in his head then smirking to himself "If [Name.] Hates it when we're at each other's throats then let's just share her"
Skully had a thousand-yard expression yard stare then he uttered "Actually as much as I hate sharing I'd rather share than be genuinely despised by my sweetheart."
"I'm going to be honest I'm tired of me and [Name.] Getting stressed by college and...I would rather spend more time with her" Masky spoke softly yet reluctantly while his eyes glanced at yours lovingly "And I'd prefer not to kill my friends despite what they've done"
your lips started to depart to talk attempting to sound stern but your voice came out meek "I'm not sure about this." Your stare now focused on the floor and not any of the men in front of you who on the other hand were staring right into your eyes
Now your mind was frantic on one side how are you supposed to split your affection between three of the closest people in your life all the time and also you loved Jay and Brian as a friend and maybe Tim as a lover but you didn't want them to be at each other's throats especially Skully since he appeared to be tougher than the other two men another thing to note is that all three of them could easily hurt you although you can sense that they didn't want to
But what if they forced you into this scenario if you resisted would they punish you or your family so with that last thought in mind you decided it would be best to accept their offer after all it would be selfish to have somebody dying just because you resisted their demented obsession with you and after all…maybe you'll learn to love them over time
So trying to hide the anxiety in your voice and the heat on your cheeks you spoke loudly enough for them to hear "I've decided that your offer is for the best so I'll accept." their face lit up at your words
Skully was the first one to step towards you at a slow pace as he wrapped his arms under your own in a warm tight embrace whilst he put his chin atop your soft hair
Then Hoodie came trapping you in a side hug nestling into your shoulder while you could feel him against your skin grinning ear to ear through the mask
Then there was Masky who came up from behind and settled his rough hands down on your shoulders then he bent down to kiss the back of your neck which made you jolt in surprise in response to this he just chuckled then he bent down and put his arms under your legs and swept you off your feet while the other two men backed off now carrying you bridal style
Then he started to head back into the bedroom where you woke up in taking the lead while the other two followed then setting you down gently atop the soft oak bed while Hoodie reached for something underneath the bed much to your dismay while you were caged in the middle of the bed between Skully and Masky then Hoodie stood up with a syringe in hand while Masky snaked his arms over yours so that your arms were to your side and you were pulled flush against him feeling him purring against your neck while Skully began to stroke your hair with one hand in an attempt to calm you while his other hand was tracing patterns on your thigh
Hoodie slowly came on top of the mattress putting a finger to his lips while silently shushing you not to struggle as you felt the familiar prick of your skin as your sight began to fade and turn black
"Shhhh love you made the right choice we're so glad but now is the time you get your rest." Was the last thing you heard from Masky's lips before you fell into a deep sleep.
#yandere#yandere slenderverse#yandere masky#yandere brian#yandere hoodie#yandere jay#yandere skully#yandere tim#fanfic#fanfiction#anon ask#creepypasta#slenderverse#marble hornets#yandere x reader
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(imma try to make my asks shorter lol cuz i feel bad for taking up sm room on your blog dkdjdkjd) oooh that’s fun! i love kids lol i have a job as a teacher assistant and i work with kids that are like 4-6 years old 🥺 oH which is where i got the inspo for that one riki drabble with lil yn kissing lil riki on the cheek and stuff lol. that actually happened in one of the classes 😭 it was so cute skdjsjsj
how did you learn english btw? and ugh i totally understand. english grammar is SUPER confusing. even as a native speaker, sometimes i question my own grammar lol. so i always admire ppl who learn english when it’s not their native language, esp when they’re as fluent as you! <3 srsly
and i’ve heard of georgia. idk much about it tho lol. i only know of it bc when i was in grade 8, for fun (literally FOR FUN 💀 SKSJSK), i memorized all of the countries of the world and where they’re located on a map lol i was a huge nerd ig skjdksjd so yeah i’m familiar with georgia but ik like nothing about it sksjsk and the alphabet is sooo pretty pLS. is it an easy alphabet to learn? like compared to english let’s say lol
naur really? my vocab has impressed you??! whEN?? sksjsdkjs i remember in your work there were words that impressed me lol which is another reason why i find it so hard to believe eng isn’t your first language!!!! naurrr thank you 🥺 your def one of the vv talented writers on here too, i’m serious. also also! the long hc in your drafts (did you say it was a hc? lol i can’t remember already skdjskd im soRRY) idk if you’ve talked about it more before bc i’m literally terrible at keeping up w things but mind me asking what it’s about? 👀😏
HELP PLS DONT WORRY ABT THE SPACE ON MY BLOG😞😞 i have over 1.5k posts alr and its literally just me screaming and crying so we're good dwdw
AND PLEASE THATS SO CUTE :( i love kids too but theyre such a pain in the ass sometimes, especially the very young ones like 2-5 years old cuz during that age they're more... actuve ig :/ HOW DO U EVEN TAKE CARE OF THEM I WOULD'VE GONE MAD HELSPSMNS
and we learn english at school, from grade 1 up until grade 12 but the level is VERY LOW. we use the same A2-3 or smth levels EVERY SINGLE YEAR so it gets very infuriating as someone who's i guess ahead of everyone else because i know all that stuff already 😭😭😭 and yeah english grammar is a bit confusing but it's nothing compared to russian AND ESPECIALLY GEORGIAN GRAMMAR. as a native speaker,,,, yeah georgian grammar is fucking hell. it may look simple but it's far more difficult than english, german, italian, french & all that jazz :/ its a very difficult langauge overall. sometimes even i'm not fluent in it, that's how difficult the grammar is 😭😭
also grade 8 u was insane bcuz WHY?? WOULD U DO THAT 😞😞 i can't even memorize the name of my own country were you okay??? and yeah our culture is actually very unique and just overall based more on the artistic side. we have our own dances, singing, our own food, clothing and a very very long history. we may be small but we have definitely kept our traditions throughout the centuries and i'm very proud of that, so that stuff is also very hard to get used to when it comes to foreigners visiting or even moving here because it's VERY different from other places. as for the alphabet oH GOD NO ITS DEFINITELY VERY HARD TO LEARN, we spend at least 4 years with different types of textbooks that are specifically made to learn how to write the letters with step-by-step tutorials and guides. we also have some letters shortened a bit like ლ,დ so it's even more confusing for people who aren't fluent to read what we write 😭😭 and as the years pass everyone develops their own calligraphy (which is even more unique because of our strange alphabet) yet we can still somehow understand what the other is writing? it's very weird and definitely not an easy language or an alphabet to learn for foreigners.
ALSO YEAH WHAT IM WRITING IS KINDA?? HEADCANONS??? bulletpoints? idfk atp its a mixture of drabble + headcanon + bulletpoint and i had the time of my life writing it but now im too lazy to proofread (which i probably wont do at the end of the day OOPS) and write for the two members that i have left :///// and i'll give sort of a hint (?) it has smth to do with enhypen and highschool 😋😋 the rest is up to your imagination (well until it's released ofc) its smth that i haven't really done before cuz i usually do normal bulletpoints so it's kinda hard for me but Oh well there's a first for everything and i need to step out of my comfort zone sometimes 😈💪
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Dear Lara Jean,
HI. so i watched TATBILB: A&F a few weeks ago, and I have some words. Before I begin, i'd like to preface that i'm literally 17 and have no film experience, and that I've read this book once maybe 4 years ago but here it is.
ps. if you haven't gotten it already: there will be spoilers. Heavy spoilers.
first of all, i'm sorry but i really didn't like the little edit things. Maybe I've reached that point in my life where I don't f with that anymore. Like when theres a drawn house and it slowly fades so it's real life?? no thanks
the music choice... I honestly didn't have that big of a problem with it, but my korean friend kept going "wtf is this music choice" so i'm quoting her on that.
the filming and editing. well maybe it's just me but I didn't really like it. yk when you're watching a youtuber and they do those zoom in things and it's sort of fast and funny? I think there were a few times the movie did that and i didn't like it.
literally, lara jean looking directly into the camera?? it feels like it's breaking the 4th wall and maybe they're doing it to be edgy but no thanks i didn't like that either.
WHY???? Her breaking the 4th wall added NOTHING to the movie. It just took me out of the experience. I especially didn’t like it when they did it in PS I still love you when they temporarily broke up.
THEY SET THE MOVIE IN OREGON. WHAT WAS THE REASON. THE BOOK WAS SET IN VA, AND I LIVE IN VA SO I FELT A CONNECTION TO THE BOOK. AND THEN THEY GO AND SET IT IN OREGON. WHAT. WAS. THE. REASON
OREGON DIDN’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING WITH THE COLLEGES. THEY’RE STILL PRETTY FAR AWAY FROM STANFORD. IN THE BOOK, UVA WAS CLOSE BY SO LJ WOULDN’T HAVE TO BE TOO FAR AWAY FROM HOME. NO OFFENSE TO THE STATE BUT WHY OREGON. THEY COULD OF PUT THEM IN CALI AT LEAST
ONE OF THE REASONS WHY LJ WANTED TO GO TO UVA IS BECAUSE HER FAMILY WOULD BE CLOSE BY. BY PUTTING THEM IN OREGON, YOU TAKE AWAY THAT REASON. i just want to 👊 whoever’s idea this was
FURTHERMORE: THEY CHANGED UVA AND UNC TO STANFORD AND NYU. I AM INFURIATED. THE WHOLE POINT WAS THAT THEY WANTED TO GO TO UVA BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE 10 MINS FROM WHERE THEY LIVED AND IT'S A STATE SCHOOL. LARA JEAN FELT LIKE THE WAS GAURANTEED TO GO TO UVA AND WHEN SHE DOESNT, IT ACTUALLY HURTS THE READERS.
in the book, LJ was waitlisted from UNC, rejected from UVA, and accepted to W&M. I’m sure you can find like 40 people at our school who can relate to this situation. I doubt 40 people in our school can relate to being rejected from Stanford BUT accepted to NYU. dear writers, please give teens across the nation (your target audience) realistic expectations for college admissions.
YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT PETER AND LARA JEAN WERE ACTUALLY QUALFIED ENOUGH FOR STANFORD. LEMME JUST SAY, I'VE APPLIED FOR COLLEGES THIS YEAR AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD GRASP ON WHAT IT TAKES TO GET INTO CERTAIN COLLEGES. YOU'RE TELLING ME THE TWO OF THEM. REALLY. GOT. INTO. THOSE. SCHOOLS. pls.
DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE KISSING BOOTH. ELLE AND NOAH ARE POSSIBLY THE DUMBEST CHARACTERS I HAVE EVER WATCHED. I DON’T SEE THEM DO A PAGE OF HOMEWORK AND I DON’T EVEN THINK THEY ATTEND CLASS. LIKE MAKING A KISSING BOOTH FOR ONE FUNDRAISER FOR A CLUB THAT CONSISTS OF 2 PEOPLE DOES NOT COUNT AS ENOUGH TO GET INTO HARVARD. but that’s a different movie...
this is literally the idea that television and movies have in making it super easy to get into ivy leauges. as if some in state college isn't up to society's standards of where or where not it's ok to go to college. it's when gabriella montez goes to stanford, troy goes to berkely, ryan evan goes to julliard, teddy duncan goes to yale, cody martin is accepted to princeton, HANNAH MONTANA does to stanford.
and lara jean wants to study english lit. she never says “i want to go to stanford because of their great english lit program”. it’s only “i want to go to stanford because my boyfriend is going and i have no other life outside of him
fine. make your characters seem awesome by making them go to awesome colleges. but still. this is upseting.
you know how awesome it is to hear UVA, the college I've always wanted to go to, in a published book? and for them to just rip it away- espeically when UVA is so attainable?? Yea yea movie directors, i get it, UVA isn't good enough for you. whatever.
They had AT LEAST 5 MONTAGES. 5. FIVE. WHO NEEDS THAT MANY MONTAGES. To quote my friend "the movie is all montage and 30 mins of plot" AND I CAN'T FIND IT IN MYSELF TO DISAGREE WITH HER.
AND THE DANCES. I REALLY DIDN’T NEED TO SEE NOAH CENTINEO DO WHATEVER HE CALLS “DANCING” IN 2 MONTAGES. I know everyone fell in love with noah in the first movie, but i’m pretty sure everyone fell out of love with him in this one.
again, i know nothing about movies, but 5 montages?? it seems like you're just filling space and trying to make everything seem ✨awesome✨ and ✨amazing✨. SURE. everything might be awesome and amazing, but this movie was 1 HR AND 55 MINS. and you decided to add 1 HR of montages? WHy. AND. one of them was in slowmo. i can't
THEY HAD VOICE OVERS THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE MOVIE. sure. 1 at the begin and 1 at the end, I think that's cute. BUT THE WHOLE MOVIE?? WHY. like bruh- have a focus.
literally did anyone read the freaking book? Remember how- in the book right? Margot was actually really not ok with Trina bc she's sort of replacing their mom? and Margot is rlly not ok with it but gets over it?? see how that was summarized in like 5 seconds in the movie? Oh i'm sorry you used all your time for the movie making STUPID MONTAGES but can we get some actually emotionally beats next time?? thanks.
ok this is a big problem i have with the movie. in the 3rd book, peter tries to have a relationship with his dad who ran away from him years ago. He struggles with that relationship the whole book. This is good stuff. people can relate to this. the scene in the diner where peter “confronts” his dad was CRINGEY. It could be noah’s acting but i couldn’t take him seriously. AND HE FORGIVES HIS DAD AFTER 30 SECONDS. the movie tries to include these smaller storylines but can’t because of the time limit. i’m no screenwriter, but i’m sure there could have been a way to subtly move that plot line during the entire movie rather than that one conversation in the diner
and in the book, peter has to train for lacrosse so he has to eat healthy which stresses him out. i specifically remember him getting mad at someone (maybe it was john ambrose, i don’t remember fully) for EATING HIS CARROTS. this just shows that peter has a life too. he has to worry about lacrosse along with losing lj. but no, the movie makes him look like the perfect boyfriend who has no other worries in life except for the girl in front of him
remember how- in the book (right?? bc they had a book to go off of???) Stormy was a part of the 3rd book? like a BIG part?? They LITEALLY just used her as John Ambrose's grandmother (WHICH IM PRETTY SURE THEY DIDN'T EVEN DO IN THE MOVIES). literally, stormy and john ambrose were throw away characters in the second movie and i am infurriated. BUT ALSO I LOVE JOHN AMBROSE HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO HIM??
and remember, how in the book, how the dog's name is "Jamie Fox-Pickle" and they changed it to HENRY??? where is the flavor. what was the reason. SERIOUSLY.
BUT ALSO. CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG BUT THERE WAS A POINT IN THE PLOT WHERE PETER'S MOM TOLD LARA JEAN TO BREAK UP WITH PETER. DOES NO ONE ELSE REMEBER THAT?? AND THEY CUT IT ALL OUT OF THE SCRIPT?? LIKE WHY. WHAT WAS THE REASON.
ok those are my biggest book grievances I think. but lemme just say, they NEVER went to NEW YORK. They literally wrote that in for the purposes of NYU. in the book, Chris and Lara Jean DRIVE to UNC because that's ATTAINABLE. BC THEY'RE STATE UNIVERSITIES. ANYWAYS
LJ’s and Chris’s spontaneous trip to unc showed their friendship in a good way. I never really liked chris as a friend to lj but during the trip, they are besties and it shows. the movie tries to do that in ny but peter is also in ny for some reason. she should have fell in love with ny WITHOUT peter at her side nagging her to sneak out and go on a date. she should have spent more time with chris rather than thinking about peter while she was watching the band.
the scene where Lara Jean is in New York and at the party and she sees the band? To all the boys I've loved before: Always and forever?? more like To all the boys I've loved before: gay awakening time.
when they moved the pink couch to the subway? WHy? They wanted snazzy pics.
when Lara Jean and Peter were making up and it was a really cute sequence AND THEN THEY MADE HER LOSE HER V CARD. FINE. I GET HOW THAT'S REALISTIC BUT IT WAS A CUTE SCENE. MY FRIEND ALMOST STARTED CRYING AND THEN LJ LOST HER V CARD AND WE COULDN'T STOP SCREAMING.
this is different from what was in the book (for the 100th time). In the book, they don’t do it and it shows that you can be in a high school relationship without being physical. I strongly appreciate that message. This darn movie had to have her lose her v card. WHY. IT ADDED NOTHING TO THEIR RELATIONSHIP. THE YEARBOOK SIGNING WAS SYMBOLIC ENOUGH
the montage where it's a montage of all of lara jean's and peter's cute moments?? ok fine. that was cute. but they literally just took scenes from past movies. imagine the impact if we like hidden moments from their relationships. maybe they're laughing in the car together. maybe they're watching they sunset. maybe peter is looking at her lovingly while she sleeps. WHAT IF. it WASN'T a montage of all the "bigger" moments of their relationship, and we got to see them just exist.
UGH. THE VOICE OVER AT THE END OF THE MOVIE IS SO CRINGEY I CAN'T
"WE AREN'T LIKE OTHER COUPLES. NOT US, LARA JEAN AND PETER KAVINSKY. BECAUSE WE HAVE SOMETHING BETWEEN US. WRITING LOVE LETTERS" please. b freaking s
Some redeemable qualities
while i didn't like most of the songs, "like me better" by lauv will always be loved. especially since it's a call back from the first movie?? I can ftw
WHY WASN’T “LIKE ME BETTER” THEIR SONG???? I really thought it was a good song to be their song and they referenced it in the beginning. No offense to the “beginning middle and end” people, but i felt no attachment to that song.
they customized her phone. it looked like it was a 7 (idk rlly, i don't know crap abt iphones) but they customized it. Granted, I KNOW lara jean would be the one with the aesthetic background with color coded folder, but still- they did give her relevant apps. some to note include; tiktok, spotify, instagram, netflix, notes, messages, facetime, maps, whatsapp and the STANFORD APP?? whatever- i'm chill.
they did make lara jean make choices so that was good.
the prom ask?? That was cute. with the pancakes??
at the end when Peter played the song even though earlier he didn't like it?? I liked that. i liked that a lot. ok fine i more than liked that a lot. There are multiple texts where my friends are screaming at each other. In fact, 26 separate messages.
chris in general. granted, she was more present in the books, but i'll take what i can get.
some notable quotes by her, the queen
"I'm dead inside"
not wanting to do a gigantic walk down from the stairs and asking the boys not to turn around
peter said he liked lara jean's forehead kisses and that reminded me of emma chamberlain so that's a positive only bc of emma
I remembered that they were the class of 2021, and I'M class of 2021 and it just hit for a second.
my friend cried over their graduation but i felt nothing bc we're literally living in a pandemic and chances of me getting a real graduation?? we'll see
again, these are all just my opinion. my friend doesn't like the movie bc she says she's sad and bitter and seeing these cute couples makes her feel lonely but i'm just diappointed. the books were GOOD. they were gold.
there was so much they could’ve done with the movies, and i just feel like they didn’t deliver on anything. Jenny Han, i’m sorry. The movie overall, ik someone who cried about it and someone else who gave it 7/10. props for them but jeez i just wish for more.
ok but that’s the show folk. i mean, obviously everything i said was opinion and literally don’t listen to anything i’ve said. BUT. feel free to add what you hated or loved abt the movie too. thanks. i love you guys. “always and forever” :,)
p.s- omg not them ripping off taylor swift. jk jk. ok bye
#to all the boys i've loved before#to all the boys always and forever#to all the boys netflix#to all the boys ps i still love you#to all the boys series#lara jean x peter#lara jean icons#lara jean x john ambrose#lara jean x gen#lana condor#jenny han#peter kavinsky#noah centenio#noah scented mayo tbh#always and forever#tatbilb#i'm really sorry#i really wanted to love it#but also#there are no good peters anymore#only peter parker#rants i guess#i hope my anonymus person reads this#hi i love you#i have lots of thoughts about this movie#i'm not saying that it sucks#because i do know people that thought that this movie was quite pleasant#but i mean#you have the source material#this book is LITERALLY being made into a movie BC the source material is good
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frequent (emergency room) flyer | AU-gust Day 6: Hospital AU
AU-gust masterlist
i wrote this a while back, and a couple of people seemed interested in more, so here is another piece in that AU. tagging @m-e-i-c-h-a-n, @severelytinyeagle and @warmachinesocks (who was the original prompter) and im sorry if you asked for a continuation and didn’t get tagged. note: this can be read a stand-alone fic (but reading the original ficlet will help)
I’m begging you, please help me out here and get me something edible, I’m so tired of hospital food (from this prompt list)
//
After his first visit, Bucky isn't expecting to see Tony again. Despite how garish the burns had looked on his arms, the actual injury itself had thankfully not been that bad - and Tony only needed to come in one more time for a check in, just to make sure everything was healing well. It was a short visit, nothing to write home about and Bucky privately wished that the injuries had been a bit more severe.
Not too severe, because he didn't want Tony hurting himself, but severe enough that it warranted a couple more visits. Of course he kept that particular inclination to himself, because it wasn't normal to want your crush to be hurt and it was unbecoming for a doctor to want an injured patient, but it was there - in the back of his mind.
When Steve pages him a month later and tells him that he's got a repeat customer, and he ducks into A&E to see a familiar mop of hair; he's secretly pleased.
"What are we looking at?" he asks Steve, holding his hand out for the chart. Steve passes it over with a grim face, "His roommate brought him in. He was unconscious. Apparently he's been locked up in his lab for the past week, and when his roommate went to check on it - he was slumped against his desk. We managed to get him conscious again, and it looks like a case of a lack of food and drink."
Instantly, Bucky regrets the way he felt when he first found out that Tony was back in A&E. He nods sharply at Steve, and pulls back the curtain to see a pale Tony on the bed, and a black kid who can't be more than a few years older than Tony standing near the side of the bed.
"Bucky!" he croaks when he looks up, lips stretching out into a wide smile. He pulls at the black kid's sweater, "Rhodey look - it’s Bucky!"
"I can see that Tones," Rhodey says in a wry tone, and holds his hand out for Bucky to shake. "James Rhodes, but this punk likes to call me Rhodey."
"Doctor James Barnes," he says back, "also cursed with a bestfriend who gives out terrible nicknames. You must be James the original."
Tony gives him an indecipherable look, "You remembered."
Bucky can't tell him that he's played the weekend that Tony was in the hospital in his mind on repeat, revisiting the memories like they’re treasure, so instead he clears his throat and asks, "So what brings you to my neck of the woods this time?"
Tony opens his mouth to reply, but Rhodey beats him, "He doesn't know how to eat. Don't even start with me Tones you know it's true. Doctor," he turns to Bucky with pleading eyes, "maybe you can knock some sense into him. Explain to him that human beings need sustenance three times a day and they can't survive on coffee and ramen."
Bucky frowns, "You've only been having ramen and coffee? Tony you need vitamins, you need protein. While it's possible that you just fainted because of hunger, I'm going to keep you around for a couple of days. Run some tests to make sure you haven't given yourself scurvy."
His lips twist into a pout, and Bucky has to tamp down the urge to lean down and kiss it off his face. "This is all your fault," he glares at Rhodey mulishly, "I'm stuck in a hospital instead of at my lab like I should be. All you had to do was splash some water on me and this whole thing could've been avoided."
"I did, you didn't wake up" Rhodey says, obviously not rising to Tony's bait. He oddly reminds Bucky of himself, back when Steve wasn't a hunkering man made of muscles and Bucky had to wrestle his four foot ass in bed because he couldn't go five steps without dissolving into a coughing fit. "Besides, what're you complaining about? Now you've got all this free time to ogle at the doctor you've been talking my ear off about for a month."
Tony's cheeks pink, and Bucky excuses himself before he does something he's going to regret.
(Like find out exactly what Tony's been saying about him to his bestfriend)
/
Thankfully, Tony doesn't seem to have any serious illnesses apart from a mild case of dehydration and malnutrition; but Bucky keeps him under observation to be sure just in case. He's heard horror stories of students cracking under the pressure at MIT and almost starving themselves to death, and he's got a special interest in making sure that Tony doesn't become one of those horror stories.
Besides, he's fairly certain that Tony can afford the medical bills.
The downside of Tony not being at high risk of death is that Bucky can't justify visiting him often. So he does the next best thing, he assigns Steve to Tony. It's standard hospital procedure to have a nurse dedicated to their VIP patients, and it soothes something inside Bucky to know that Stevie is looking out for him.
What he fails to take into account, is the fact that Steve and Tony are remarkably similar people, and are therefore bound to clash.
"I can't take it anymore!" Steve bursts into his office, interrupting what was promising to be an extremely rewarding fifteen minutes of sleep at his desk, "He's so - UGH!"
Steve tugs at his hair, and Bucky gestures at the couch in his office, wincing when Steve slumps against it face-first.
"Use your big boy words Stevie," he says in what he hopes is a calming tone, "Who's got you so worked out?"
"Your ickle Tony," Steve props his head up and says in a scathing voice, "Is the most infuriating person I have ever had the misfortune of meeting. It's like he wants to die. I don't know what you see in him Buck, honest to god, he drives me crazy."
"What did he do?"
"He refuses to eat!" Steve moans, but when he notices the expression on Bucky's face he backtracks a little, "He eats, but like ridiculously small amounts. His tray is never empty, and one time - I even caught him shovelling food under his plate to make it look like he'd eaten it. The kid is going to kill himself if he goes on like this."
Bucky wants to go over there right now, but he's got patients that can't wait. "I'll visit him after my rounds today," he promises, "find out what's going on."
When he enters the suite that they've put Tony in, he's in the middle of a very heated conversation on his phone. His skin is no longer pale, flushed full with colour, but he's still too skinny for Bucky's comfort.
"No Pep I -" he looks over when the door slides open, and his face transforms into a smile, "Bucky! Pep, let me call you right back."
Whoever it is on the other line is clearly not happy about Tony cutting the line on them because he hears the beginning of what sounds like yelling - but Tony ends the call before they can get anywhere. He cocks his head and bats his eyes at Bucky, "What can I do for my favourite doctor?'
"I'm your only doctor Tony," Bucky says with a chuckle, "Nobody else is willing to treat you." It isn't a lie, but it isn't the complete truth either. Bucky is Tony's only doctor, but only because he put dibs on any future Tony related visits. So it wasn't that nobody else was willing to treat Tony, it was more that Bucky wasn't willing to let anyone else treat Tony.
"So, what's this I hear about you not eating food? Keeping you under observation for malnutrition is counter-productive if you're not eating Tony." Tony frowns at that, his face twisting like he's had something sour.
He hears out and clasps Bucky's hands, looking up at him with wide eyes, "You have to help me. You gotta get me out of here. They keep trying to make me eat hospital food," he says 'hospital food' in a hushed tone, like he's worried Stevie is going to jump out with a tray and shove it down his throat.
(Knowing Stevie, it was completely possible)
"Tony," he says gently, "You have to eat. It's for your own good. You're dangerously low on vitamins and protein, and if we don't get that stuff in your system you could be running the risk of serious illness. Then you'll be shackled to a hospital room for the rest of your life, with no choice but to eat hospital food."
Tony contemplates that for a second, brows furrowing in concentration. "Okay, how about a compromise? I'll eat hospital food, two times out of the day, if you smuggle me in a cheeseburger for lunch."
"How about this? You eat hospital food all times of the day, and I'll buy you a cheeseburger when we discharge you?"
"You mean like a date?" Bucky suddenly becomes intimately aware that Tony is still holding his hand, "You asking me out on a date Doc?"
Bucky wants to say no, he knows that he's supposed to say no, but what comes out is, "Not yet."
Tony's face twists at that, before smoothening out in comprehension, "It's because I'm your patient isn't it. There's rules about this stuff, ethics or whatever."
"I could lose my license over it," Bucky admits, "not to mention that you're still in college."
"I'm a master's student," Tony says breezily, "I'm older than I look. I turn 22 this May. So how long?" Bucky makes a quizzical noise at him and he explains, "How long until it's okay for you to date a patient?"
"6 months," Bucky rubs the back of his neck with his free hand, "There's a bit of debate on it, but six months is pretty standard."
Tony nods, "I can do six months. I can wait six months."
"You have to stay out of the hospital for six months," Bucky says weakly, "No malnourishment, no lab accidents, you can't even get a scrape on your elbow, otherwise I could get written up."
"I can do that," Tony says confidently, and Bucky knows that he should talk him out of it, but he smiles toothily at Bucky, and he's gone, "I can wait six months for you. Can you?"
"Six months," Bucky says back, and it feels like a promise.
Fin
#my writing#buckytony#winteriron#bucky barnes x tony stark#bucky barnes/tony stark#bucky x tony#adi does AU-gust#AU-gust#Hospital AU#doctor bucky barnes#mit era#fluff#implied/referenced bad eating habits#age difference#pre slash#hopeful ending#frequent (emergency room) flyer#i know this was much later than usual#but exams and deadlines are catching up w me#so AU-gust will be delayed for a couple days
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toffee!
hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)
YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults
ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)
hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)
> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy
back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious
no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.
yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)
YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.
hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!
hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?
wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?
no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying
<3 w.a. 🐺
sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;
yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.
i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.
abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.
anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://
HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*
i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.
i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.
it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.
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