#im sorry but ive lost a lot of motivation for it recently

[itzsana-kiddingmenow]

𝒈𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒊𝒕! 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 4: 𝒋𝒊𝒔𝒖𝒏𝒈

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨: 267

𝙖/𝙣: um so-

𝙩/𝙬: writer chooses to keep an element of surprise to the story! read at your own risk!

𝒍𝒆𝒆: han

𝙡𝙚𝙧: hyunjin

𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕: @someone-who-loves-kpop-saranghae @jeongins-diary @leeknowstan33 @v--143 @wereallgonnadieonedaybutnottoday @inkedloveandlostpromises @lajanaa @a-wild-seungberry

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞? 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐮𝐛𝐬…🖤

“Don’t tickle me! That’s cheating!” Jisung whined, shoving the brownie boy off of him. 

“You did it to me, though!” Felix bit back, pulling the quokka back onto his lap and restraining himself from tickling the older. 

Hyunjin grabbed a marker and sat down in front of Hannie’s legs, uncapping it and properly adjusting the position. 

Jisung was laying back up, so he wasn’t able to see Hyunjin’s writing. 

Hyune slowly began to write in fluid, artistic strokes. In Hannie’s case, however, it tickled. A lot. 

He jolted and squeaked loudly, kicking a bit out of instinct. Hyunjin nonchalantly grabbed his legs and pinned them down. 

Hannie let out tiny giggles at the feeling of the marker. He didn’t understand the others’ reactions to it. It didn’t tickle that much…

He guessed his dish correctly, not even stuttering once. It was too easy. 

But the clean up wasn’t. Hyunjin immediately tacked the boy’s legs down and scrubbed the cloth over one foot, scribbling torturously onto the other foot. 

Jisung squealed in surprise, pushing out just to get held down by Felix, who began to tickle at his armpits lightly. 

“HAHA-HEY! HYUHUHUNJIN WHAHATS THIS?!” Jisung screeched out, the tickles on his feet becoming unbearably tingly. 

“I’m getting my revenge, and Hyune’s helping!” Felix yelled back, and Hannie let out a loud bout of laughter before he desperately screamed. 

That was the cue to let up, but not without one more tickle to the arch of his foot, which Jisung didn’t appreciate. 

Hyunjin nervously helped the boy up, dread poooling at the bottom of his stomach. 

Next Turn: Hyunjin

i dont really like this one, ive kinda lost motivation recently, im so sorry :c

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for just doing what makes me happy?

Okay so like, recently i (adultM) met up with my ex (adultM) after we hadn’t talked for like, a while. the last time we had spoken it hadnt been very good. we kinda left off in a bad place and he wanted to reconnect and make up and stuff, which was cool and I was totally down for! On a completely unrelated note, i have recently made a list of people that i want to kill at least once (you can kill people like, a bunch of times before they really die and even then they can be brought back, plus you can get more lives by killing other people so its really not a big deal IMO) and he’s on the list because he ignored me one time. i told him about it as a kind of warning so it wouldn’t be a surprise when i did end up killing him (which i was not planning to do during our meetup btw), which was really nice of me honestly, but he was upset about it, which was like, fair i guess, but it’s literally not really even about him because i have so many other people on that list. Some of them havent even done anything wrong, i just kinda wanna kill people. like it’s literally just a hobby of mine. he said that it was really messed up that i kill people for fun, but like, some of his friends have literally killed me multiple times so i dont see how its any different just because they were motivated by revenge or to get more hearts/lives. they were still killing someone for the sake of their own satisfaction. plus i dont really care if its messed up, i’m having fun and if other people have a problem with it then they can kill me themselves and get their hearts back. i don’t even have that many, like, i’m not particularly strong and ive lost nearly as many battles as ive won. It’s not like im a tyrant terrorizing those weaker than me or anything (which by the way is something that he knows lots about, he hasn’t exactly always been a saint), im literally just having fun, and to be honest i’m happier than ive ever been! but he kept talking about how ive ‘changed’ and how i ‘used to be happy’, which by the way is literally not true. the ‘me’ that he used to know was literally a paranoid wreck who couldnt go five minutes without questioning every single decision hed ever made. like yeah i was happy sometimes and don’t get me wrong i did love him and our other boyfriend a lot, but overall that was not a happy time for me. anyway then he got his friends to jump me and i died which was honestly really funny and awesome but also kinda makes him a hypocrite. like idk i just feel like he’s trying to claim some kind of moral high ground when literally everyone here sucks. So yeah AITA?

edit: thanks for all the responses weighing in on my situation! unfortunately i got bored waiting for people to respond and in the meantime i put a bomb inside of his house. so uh sorry to everyone who was telling me to be a better person

[mochiwrites]

ive just finished catching up on night life and wow! oh gosh!! theres so much to process and so many questions!!! what happened with the last human mumbo was close to? whos the murderer? what exactly is scar being hired to do? whats scars past? wtf is up with scott? did scar set up that illusion with the house fire in the most recent chapter or scott? both?? why????

even if scar does all this to protect tub, wheres the guarantee that scott doesnt just pop in and take him anyways? i doubt theres so much as a drop of honor in that creepy, creepy man. what if scar gets found out and mumbo and grian are betrayed so they stop talking, then scott gets taken by tubs so scar's left alone, and goes to mumbo and grian for help which they ultimately give because how could they deny a friend in need?? WHAT ABOUT PEARL???

oh my gosh PEARL!! im so concerned for her. im so scared for her. if something happens to her ill kill everyone in the fic and then myself /ref

also taurtis?? id assumed he'd died, then grian had some self thinking about taurtis might be dead and now im convinced hes gonna come back somehow?? but how? or am i overthinking this and he IS dead? god poor dude

GRIAN. LORDY LORD how on earth so much guilt can fit in such a tiny man baffles me. at the same time something about him being human and objectively weaker in all this really resonates with me. his desire to be useful and of equal standing. ouch. doesnt hit any weak spots for me there no not at all.

im also very unhealthily in love with this version of mumbo. id die for him a million times over.

the worldbuilding is incredible!! it's a lot but i feel like its being incorporated in a way that isnt overwhelming so we're able to follow along with everything pretty well! plus, the fact that a lot of it is from grian's (very confused) perspective makes him work really well as a sort of source of information for readers! its great!!

i am just. overall very. wow. looking forward to future updates. very much looking forward to that. keep up the incredible work!!

ehehe henlo!! :D

many questions to be had !!! I want to answer all of them SO bad oh man. but I am being so brave and not spoiling *vigorous nodding* some of these answers Are coming soon though!!

scar’s motivations, in a broad and general sense, are really intriguing to consider in this au. he’s someone who’s never been human operating on fae morals while mingling with humans. so there’s this really interesting clash of ideals and goals going on. but if he’s not careful, the fallout could be… messy. extremely messy.

:)

PEARL AND TAURTIS OUGH… taurtis was put on a VERY interesting character path, and let me tell you it was. A major struggle trying to figure out how much of his story to put in the limelight. because taurtis is technically living in a different town while going through stuff and the path that leads him to the arachne is all going on in the background fbfbfbfg but 👀 in regards to his status… who knows! and PEARL… I cradle her So gently in my hands, I care her so much. I am so sorry

and ACK I’ve talked about grian and his humanity and the connection it has to everyone and the story drives me MADE. because realistically speaking, he Is the weakest. he Is the most vulnerable. the most fragile. it would Not take much to kill him. yet that doesn’t stop him from wanting to help. from wanting to be useful. there’s so much drive and perseverance and just… hope. he has so much hope and stubbornness and he is so painfully human. it reminds the non human characters of what they lost. of what they want to protect (mumbo).

and objectively, it’s because of grian’s humanity that he’s able to see the humanity in those around him (mumbo and scar).

songbird!mumbo is SO beloved. little sad and anxious vampire guy… I’m so sorry

but uwahhh thank you !!! the world building is something that I have a lot of fun with in this au. because it’s a fantasy au there’s So much world at my fingertips, which is why it’s so important to find the balance when introducing concepts and stuff. I try not to overwhelm with information <3

and using grian as the reader’s in to the supernatural world is Very purposeful :D when you begin the series, you and grian have the same amount of knowledge. you’re entering the supernatural world together, and learning the same information. so the readers are Literally seeing the world through grian’s eyes.

it’s a very helpful writers tool for world building >:D

and !!!!! 🥹💕 I’m glad you enjoyed it so far !! chapter 5 is already outlined and planned hehe. I’m very excited about this next chapter, and I’m hoping the wait won’t be too long!!

( also, since you mentioned the solar eclipse playlist, this au has a playlist as well! :D in case you’re interested uwu )

[dustalive]

HAI DUST OMG I MISSED YOU SM SORRY SCHOOL & IRL HAS BEEN KICKING MY BUT THATS WHY IVE BEEN INACTIVE BUT HERE FOR THE ARTIST ASK THINGY 😁😁😁😁

🙃 Which is easier: faces facing left, right, or front view?

🐻 Your go-to things to draw when you need comfort?

✨ How often do you draw?

🍀 You wish your art was more..(fill in the blank)

🌊 What’s the hardest thing for you to draw? 

(Also btw what happened why cant you draw at the moment? /gen /nf) hope you have been doing good buddy 💕💕🫂🫂🫂 ily!!!

CLOVER HII^^ I MISSED U TOO AND DW IM A LIL INACTIVE TOO RN SO OTS ALL GOOD!<3

For the artist thingy😎

🙃:tbh it kinda depends, for skeletons mostly left/right but when I draw humans fromt is easier

🐻:rn it's gotta be killer, but I was making smol doodles for myself and I struggle so much w getting his skull proportions right that its getting annoying

✨️:well not that much as of rn unfortunately😞 but usually at least a few small doodles every second/third day

🍀:I wish my art was more consistent, like its bcs its not consistent that I struggle sm rn since I didn't draw for a while. I also wish my art is able to catch more emotions, since it feels so blank

🌊:gotta be hands💀I'm sure it's also noticable😭also drawing poses or coloring is hard too

Also thank you clover<3, but I wasnt feeling that good recently, I had a lot of things happening during the summer holidays that kept adding up and I was feeling really depressed during that time tbh. And I can't draw rn since allat catched up to me again and I lost motivation to draw for a while. And now when I do try to draw it doesnt look right and it keeps draining my motivation. This is not supposed to be a vent post so yeah, but just so yk why I hope u understand<3

But Ily too^^

[rhinco]

hello can u tell me about hsr? recently started playing genshin and im wondering if its worth my time to get invested in another hoyo game…

hiya! okay this started getting very long and sidetracked so. my short opinion is that yes hsr is a good fun game and if you have the time you should get into it too 👍

my long answer is that hsr is just. a better game to get into than genshin generally lol (coming from someone who spent 2+ years in genshin hyperfixation hell). i have complicated feelings about genshin because it has a lot of characters that i love (my pfp may be aventurine rn but i will always be the childe guy) but with the release of natlan ive just lost motivation to play it at all. i might pick it up if childe gets a rerun or when we get to snezhnaya but i don't think im ever gonna be the same level of invested in it i used to be

(i will also say that part of the reason i dropped it completely is because i started playing zenless zone zero which im also loving and i think 2 gacha games is my capacity to still have a life outside of them)

now. is hsr a perfect game. absolutely not. it's still made by the same company and i don't want to sing hsr's praises when they're also fully capable of doing the same/similar racist shit as genshin has. so take everything with a grain of salt yknow. with that said, here's some other reasons i really like hsr

in comparison to genshin: they're more generous with stellar jades than genshin is with primos. the banner system generally is just slightly better (especially weapon banner). trailblaze power (equivalent to resin) has a huge overflow so you can store it up over time if you don't play.

the combat system is different but really fun. it took me a bit to get used to, i recommend trying to learn it in itself rather than trying to go ok what's the 'genshin equivalent' (for a lot of things in the game you can just go ok what's the equivalent. but specifically for combat mechanics i think it's better to differentiate)

and then i just really love hsr's story. penacony especially is one of the best storylines ive played out of all of genshin and hsr. generally i think the game has a lot more fun and heart put into it, it lets itself be sillier, i mean there's a literal plotline revolving around sentient trashcans. i love the character designs too. genshin's have felt stale to me recently (partially bc of the overt racism tho lol) but boothill and aventurine are some of my favourite characters designs so far (← definitely not biased).

anyways. sorry this got so long i have a lot of feelings and autism about these games and i hope i answered your question lol

[jayflrt]

hehe, i'm doing great too, akka. i completed my final exmas and preparing for college entrance exams. they are so hard and i feel like stu(dying) 🥲

i thought of choosing engineering as my stream but i think i am going to choose aerospace engineering 🥺 because i badly wanna learn about space, aircrafts and stars. i love them.

these days, ive been listening to seventeen and enhypen. studying all day and sleeping all night. i got my periods today so i have lost my motivation to study.

could please give me some motivation akka, i badly need it. just be like harsh miyamura which hori likes 😇 i got into anime recently and ive watched jjk, tokyo revengers, studio ghibli movies and shinkai movies 🥺🥲 they are literally good pieces..

i cried when i read tokyo revengers manga, takemichi deserved it and jjk is going shit. gege when i catch you gege 🤬 and what's ur fav anime akka??

and how's your internship(?) akka? i hope it going great for u!! how's your life going on these days? enjoying spring? or summer? its summer in india btw.

so please drink loads of water and have loads of sleep akka. i really dont have much to say but once my exams are done, i think i'll have a lot to say. it really has been long akka <33

hope u have a great day/night 🌷

— 🦔 anon

good luck on exams !! hope they go well & im sure you'll do great 🥰🥰 also aerospace engineering sounds really interesting so i'm sure it'll be a good fit !!

omg svt is one of my ult groups too 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️ LMFAOO i'm not good at harsh motivation i'm sorry, i'm more harsh on myself and lenient with everyone else tbh 😭😭 also i would lose my motivation to study if i got my period too LMFAOO but if you're able to get some studying in 💗💗

studio ghibli movies are so good :')) which ones did you watch?? and omg i really have no idea what gege is doing with jjk rn 💀 i just wanted nobara back and here we are 😭😭

omg my interview ended a while ago !! rn im preparing for grad school 🧎‍♀️ and it's spring here !! 🌷 it used to get dark so quickly but now it's bright outside until like 7-8 which is so nice 🥹🥹 i hope you're doing amazing and i can't wait to hear from you again !! good luck for all of your exams 🥰

[dearheartwitcher]

all of the questions for the art ask meme! :)

ouhh!! under the cut for u! <33

1. Art programs you have but don't use

loll i bought clip studio on sale but i havent drawn anything in it because i cant find a good dupe of my sai brush

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

hmm i guess left!

3. What ideas come from when you were little

lol every time i draw self insert im just feeding my inner 12 year old

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

rosiers moth form.......... i love him sooo much but i need to try redesigning that form... also im trying SO hard to learn how to draw bloodhound but they have so many fucking Pieces to their design😭

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

i would say i post a good majority of the art i make!! ive gotten worse at it in recent years, mostly because i keep wanting to save things to post at "peak hours" or whatever but i always forget lmfao. i dont usually keep things to myself intentionally

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

art that my friends make always inspires me the more i see from them! mostly in little ways that only i really notice lol

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

traditional painting is sooo nice... i especially love gouache... i like when traditional painters dont blend their work and use a ton of different colors as well. also people who draw traditionally and put stickers all over their work, i think that's phenomenal

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

oh god so many lol. one that comes to mind is i was going to make a little animatic with a tiktok sound of my dnd party but uh. one character died and the other two belong to people im no longer friends with due to two separate falling outs 😬

9. What are your file name conventions

i usually name them based on whats happening in the drawing! or just the character's name, if ive only drawn them once. i also have all my art sorted into folders by subject matter (commissions, dnd, ocs, etc) and by date

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

hmmm.... probably long sleeve tshirts/sweaters.... regular jeans can be fun too

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

ohh lots of things. i have a drawing playlist on youtube thats got a couple hundred videos on it, i also have a ton of spotify playlists. i either listen to something that fits the vibe of what im drawing, or something that will motivate me to stay in the zone lol

12. Easiest part of body to draw

boobs. sorry eyes <3

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

i cant think of one!!

14. Any favorite motifs

eyes and hearts maybe 🤔

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

usually just in my room! one of the best parts of having a laptop tbh is that i can just draw digitally in my room instead of using the computer in the living room

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

hmm. thats hard to say! maybe designing characters? i like to think that im pretty alright at making diverse characters, and i do enjoy it when they’re finished, but it takes soooo much of my brain power to do it lol. i love having little guys that i made but its so hard to make little guys!

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

not really tbh KJSHDF i tend to uh forget to eat or drink for long periods when im in The Zone.....dont be like me. have some orange slices

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

NONE haha digital 4life. i dont use screen tablets so my tablets last foreeeeever.

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

fried eggs :)

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

hmmm i cant think of anything. i Can shade black, which my bf struggles with, but its not something i need to do often lol

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

i love hyper-stylized art and lineless super colorful art!! theres probably more, thats just off the top of my head

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

none 😬 i rawdog it... i do some wrist stretches afterward most times tho

23. Do you use different layer modes

a little bit! mostly overlay + multiply on low opacity. i put them over a finished drawing to make the colors more cohesive!

24. Do your references include stock images

sometimes!

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

steven universe omg. like MAYBE back in 2015 or something it contributed to the way i use shapes a little bit but??? like i love the show, ive made fanart n shit! it just didnt contribute to my art style and i used to get that comparison A Lot

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

i cant think of one! i dont really do conceptual stuff so theres not usually a ton of room for misinterpretation

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

sometimes i do! my go-to doodles are fried eggs and little cartoony heads, but a warm up for me can even be a fully lined drawing lol

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

i participate in art fight every year!! ive been playing since 2018 :)

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

i think all media i love inspires me artistically!! even if it doesnt contribute to my art or anything, anything i love i spend a lot of time thinking about

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

um most of them imo AKLJSDHFSJ but thats the price of doing mostly oc art lol... people simply will not see your stuff

[ace-the-fox]

My Brain: Ace, please don't make a weird mpreg fanfic for FNF. Please don't-

Me: *shits this out of my brain*

I sent this to a friend who confirmed that the writing is good but the content made her want to bleach out her eyeballs, which was the exact reaction I wanted. So here's a fic promo. (I was mildly inspired by this post...)

Title: Wilted Roses

Summary: Senpai recalls how he got stuck in the video game he is sentenced to live in for eternity, and how his resentment for a certain rockstar demon really began. And it isn't pretty...

Read here

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

[mainlyabatfamandnct-geek]

I AM BACKKKKK

i have been silent on tumble for way to long and i am sorry. i guess i just lost motivation to write. i decided im gonna take some time off of writing incorrect quotes for the batfam/dc and marvel and show you guys my other interests!

so you probably didnt know this but i am a pretty big kpop fan. suprise. not that original ik. but one of my all time fav (possibly my ult group) is NCT and ive been stanning them since their SM Rookies days so i am a SENIOR fan lol. Recently since school is out and im super free ive been spending a ton of time watching agents of shield, burn notice, naruto, rurouni kenshin, jujutsu kaisen, a ton of movies from my childhood and NCT fan edit videos and meme compilations. soooooo why not put my growing obsession and built up fantasies of NCT to good use and actually make some content? 

ive also been watching a lot of musicals like hamilton, six, dear evan hansen (so excited for the new movie), the greatest showman, mean girls, etc. and the schuyler sisters is currently stuck in my head (no seriously ill just randomly sing “eLiZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” in my head for no reason) so i may or may not make some posts abt that.

ALSO. i am SUPER PUMPED UP abt Black Widow. like even more pumped up than i was for Loki and TFATWS. im sososososososo excited i cant stop talking abt it and pissing off my brothers.

AND THERES A NEW HORIZON GAME COMING OUT. i cant wait to play it. i really really really loved Horizon Zero Dawn  so you can imagine how pumped i am for Forbidden West. honestly i kinda wish they made a whole game abt Rost’s backstory just bc its so fucking sad and you dont really learn much abt it in Zero Dawn but they might go deeper into it in Forbidden West and I really hope they do bc its really interesting and sad.

ive been playing so much TLOU especially TLOU2 and Uncharted. I recently beat The Lost Legacy and it was really great. My brother didnt really enjoy it much for whatever reason but i was just happy to see Chloe and Nadine’s chaotic love hate relationship lol. I also think the new phone feature with taking the pictures and all was a nice added touch, it really accentuated the arrival of a new character and made it really obvious that we werent playing as Nate anymore. Like usually Nate would write things down in his journal and draw the objects and puzzles himself, but i think Chloe using her phone to do the same shows us that shes not as ig “into it” as Nate is. its like shes willing to put in the work necessary but make it easy and fast. kinda goes to show the more thief part of her and the lack of the “history nerd” thing that Nate has, kinda like Sully in a way.

Anyway enough abt me ranting what ive been up to. its time to make a slight change to the profile and username and make my first actual post for MONTHS.

[nico-idc]

random vent because i'm numb rn and feel like it

This is a vent post, ill probably talk about su!cide, self h*rm, eating disorders and depression. I’ll also cuss a lot, and things will not be censored. Also, this may seem insensitive to people experiencing any of this, sorry about that.  Dont read this if youre triggered by that.

Also, this is my experience with mental health. Everyone deals with it differently. 

So, If anyone doesnt know, I have depression and anxiety. And right now, I’m feeling numb as it’s often described by people with depression. But, numb isn’t a very good description. I can still feel. I’ll still smile if you tell me a joke, or if something funny is on a video. I’ll still cry if there’s something super sad. Emotion is just watered down. I feel it, but not as much as I should. Me and my boyfriend were talking, and i couldnt tell him I loved him. It’s not becuase I dont love him, but I just cant feel much of anything, so I dont want to tell him I loved him. Becuase If i did that, I felt as though I was lying. The funniest thing is, I randomly started crying. Still felt nothing, but hey, I had tears streaming down my face. Who fucking knows why. 

I havent been doing to great for a while now, but this is the worst i’ve ever gotten. Ive never felt numb before. I mean, I’ve felt myself starting to go through the motions, but i’ve never gone completely numb before. And before this i’ve had a few mental breakdowns. Hell, I’ve sat in a corner twice in the past month or so doing nothing but sobbing and begging myself not to move so I dont grab something sharp and cut myself. (I did not relapse, don’t worry). and recently I completely broke down over simply eating a cereal bar, got through it, ate it. I’m good now. 

Figures. That does seem to be my experience. Oh no, big bad issue one time, then magically I just talk myself out of my bullshit, and im fixed. Ha ha, yet I act like I have all these issues. I mean, I didnt even attempt to starve myself, just thought “oh, friends and family wont let me” and didnt. Had a breakdown about a year later, been fine since. Cut for a few months, went to therapy for a few months, stopped cutting. had a few breakdowns about a year or two later, then was fine. was suicidal for a while, went to therapy for a bit, was happy for months. Had breakdowns every now and then, fine now.

ha ha, first time I say alot of this is online. Figures. I’ve done that a lot too. My boyfriend has found out a bit about my depression through this site. Becuase I cant talk to my boyfriend about my shit, but hey random people on the internet! hear about my problems.

So on another note, I recently found a song that describes part of depression pretty well. It’s called “i’m not dead” by boyinaband. it’s linked below, I’ll copy paste the lyrics, and explain how I relate, and what the lyrics mean to me, becuase why not? (lyrics will be in bold)

undefined

I'm not dead

I'm not fixed, but I'm not giving up yet

Basically, this means that im still here, im still depressed, but I’m still trying to fight depression. 

I'm sick of saying that I still don't have anything done

I hate telling friends I'm trying something just to give it up

I never commit to anything, I just say I’ll do something, then decide I dont want to.

I'm still unsure of my emotional state

I'm still incapable of focusing lately

I don't feel like creating

I'm tired of asking Google how to find motivation

I’ve been on break from writing for months now. tried to get back to it, lost concentration. I think this is self explanatory. 

I don't think I've ever made

Something that's as good as I'm capable of

Ha, I dont put in enough effort and commitment to make something as good as possible.

I hate not having a reason to look my best

I only ever take care of myself with the intent to show the internet

I mean, I dont try to show the internet, but I only take care of myself when other people will see me.

If what made me successful was an imposed sense of stress then

I am so so glad that I hated myself

The only thing that makes me do things is extreme stress.

I didn't luck into this position

I struggle with decisions

I mean, im not in any high position, but I do struggle with decisions. 

I wouldn't be my own friend

I'm too inconsistent

I’m inconsistent as hell. I’m in like 10 group chats, don't talk in any of them for months, then just show up like “hi, havent talked to you all in ages, but hi”. 

Without immense pressure nothing ever gets finished

If these words make it to your ears it'll be a fucking miracle.

Yep. I went on  whole rant about this on wattpad. Without pressure to do something, I don’t do it.

I'm fortunate to know more good people than most do

I wish I had more friends I could be physically close to

I dont personally have a lot of friends that dont live in my city, so the last line isnt an issue, but I do know a lot of good people”

I'm pretty good at like 20 different skill sets

At the expense of never being great at any one of them

I’m good at quite a few things. Drawing, math, even writing. But im not great at it. I’m average.

I wish this beat hit harder

I wish more syllables rhymed

I know 99 percent of people really don't mind

I dont personally relate to this, seeing as I dont make music.

I think collaborating forced me to finish things

'Cause I was terrified of wasting famous people's time

Oh yeah. Group projects would not get done if i wasnt scared of wasting my partner’s time.

I wish I could focus on what I define priority

I wish I was as grateful as I want to be

Dont really relate to these things

I wish I knew more people who were mentally stable

But if I did,

I wouldn't let them waste their time on me while I'm disabled

Oh yeah. Id love to have a friend who isnt depressed, but I wouldnt let them see that im fucked up becuase i dont wanna drag them down.

I feel alone

I know I'm not

I have a lot of friends, but I still fell alone in this world

I used to talk to lots of people.

Lately I've stopped

They didn't deserve it,

I've been a terrible friend.

But I couldn't bear to let myself become boring to them

I ignore group chats all the time. no reason. Probably shouldnt. 

I don't let myself get my hopes up.

I love people who do.

Something good happens? what could go wrong? that is my thought precess.

I never know if what I say I feel is the truth

I have no damn Idea what I think, so its so hard to know what the truth in my head is.

I wish I didn't instinctively try to be less specific

So more people could relate, when they read along with the lyrics.

Not lyrics, but if i write/explain something, I immediately generalize things so its relateable.

I can be happy in the moment

I am not when I reflect

I smile watching youtube, but then I look back and think about how I wasted time.

I distract myself with gaming, waiting to get better

I hate it

Youtube will cure depression right? /s

I wanna do the most good, and prevent the most hurt

But I've gotta put on my own oxygen mask first

This is just an important phrase I try to remember when I’m down. for people who dont do well with metaphors, he’s saying that if you want to help people, you need to help yourself first. 

I can't predict what I'll do.

I can never be sure

I am terrified of making promises any more

I can't face my work,

I feel sick from the word

I genuinely believe I'm capable of changing the world

Don’t relate much here, except for the more positive, upbeat tone the song takes on, and i feel that this part, the part above and everything below is dave fighting his depression.

I still think I can get better

I’m holding onto hope.

I still think I can create and get pleasure from it

I hope so, I want my art and writing to improve.

I'll keep aiming to make my emotion and my logic agree

The eternal stuggle. I always try to get the two to line up, it rarely works. I try to use logic more often though.

And become the best version of me

Always trying to improve myself.

I don't want to stop!

I don't want to stop!

I don't want to stop!

I don't want to stop!

There’s alot this could mean. I dont want to stop creating. I dont want to stop fighting. I dont want to stop getting better. I dont want to stop living. I relate to all these things.

I’ll expand on this more later, it’s too late now for me to continue this

[aharris00britney]

ASKS 19

It’s 6am and Brandon woke me up when he got up to go to work so now... i answer asks bc i cant sleep. 

@mileyzangel said: Can you please make a Harley Quinn hairstyle from both Suicide Squad and Birds of Prey?

I went and watched Birds of Prey the other night and it was really good. Brandon went to sleep I think tfgvhb. But I doubt I’ll try doing her hair from either of the films. @enriques4 is working on one for her Birds of Prey look if you are interested in that <3

Anonymous said: is tiny living worth it? im leaning towards the gameplay although i love cas. is the gameplay as bad as people say?

I honestly don’t think the new beds do anything. They’re... there. Lmao I think the CAS and buy items are very nice. If we get some cc murphy beds then that would make them a lot more usable tbh.  

Anonymous said: how do you and ayoshi keep making some fantastic collabs?? y'all are literally the first people i go to when I make a fresh install and I can't wait to see what you do next

Anonymous said: AxA CC KINGS!!!

Anonymous said: you guys didnt have to snap like that on AxA

Anonymous said: I LOVE EVERY SINGLE PACK U AND AYOSHI DO PLEASE KEEP MAKING MORE

Anonymous said: another iconic ah00b x ayoshi collab YAS LESSGOOOO

We put a bunch of cc ideas (hair and clothes) in a discord server we have together and then work on the stuff together on call usually so each item is the way we both want me. Like for example i’ll be meshing the Ivy top while he works on texturing the ribbed version.  We also only do collabs when they happen, we didn’t plan AxA 2019 or this new set, mainly just made cc starting in May and wrapped it up in July to release in August. Then this time we started making stuff late December and got most of it done by the time I got done with my break. Having a planned collab/deadline makes stuff less stressful and the stuff usually turns out better imo

Anonymous said: hi! ur sims are so prettyyyy what skin texture and eyes do u use?

Anonymous said: hi! wcif the eyes of the sim in the edit that Dogsill edited for you please? thank you!

Anonymous said: Hi! I really love the way your sims looks so, I was what skin and eyes you use?

I actually am changing my default eyes so I need to update my resource page soon ;n; but the skins they use are all listed for each sim on the resource page here

Anonymous said: you always name axa packs by the year but this one was named after a season those that mean.... 👀

We are wanting to do something in the fall, just not sure how our lives will be then ya know? There’s a chance that this will be the AxA 2020. Since we weren’t sure I didn’t want to label it that if 2 AxA’s release this year lmao

Anonymous said: what game is the pokemon thing you're playing!? pls help a guy out i'm in love with the art style

Pokemon Sword and Shield (I have shield) for Nintendo Switch. I’ll prob post more pics once I get some new shinies :P

@kristabunny said: lol is it bad that when I saw your Santana hair I read it as Satan Hair XD

tbhhhhh it was lowkey referencing that lmao. I made the hair in October for a speed meshing video and since it was around Halloween I was like “lemme give her an almost demonic name” also Santana from glee is a queen

Anonymous said: Tbh I absolutely adore your female cc but I LIVE for your male cc!!!

Thank you! lmao the only thing I can take full credit for is the AxA male hairs. I mesh the clothes for packs but ayoshi does the texturing for them.  

Anonymous said: Could you have a go at the updo Dua Lipa has on the cover of her Future Nostalgia? The high bun with a flick in it and the strands of hair down the sides. Thanks if so :)

I’m not the biggest fan of the hairstyle tbh ;n; but we will see. (Physical is a serve, just saying)

Anonymous said: So ive never played pokemon before until my friend gave me a copy of pokemon moon. I love cats so of course my starter was a litten, but i had no clue about evolutions or anything like that. I was heartbroken when my cute litten turned into some big man cat :(

omg noooo ;n; yeah Litten is a cutie... incineroar is... well I got used to him tbh and kind of like him now? I absolutely hate scorbunny’s evolution (and most of the SWSH starters final evolution) so I think that made incineroar slightly better in my eyes. My shiny litten will be staying a kitten however :)

@multifandom-slytherin said: Hello! I love your cc! Would it be possible for you to make the bangs from your Bree Hair a separate accessory that you can put with other hairs (for example the BG low ponytail)? Thank you so much!

Anonymous said: have u considered making or allowing someone to make an acc version of your handmade bangs?

I have thought of doing accessory bangs tbh, I just like... don’t like using accessory bangs myself. So I’m not sure if I’ll end up doing it. I might try it for myself and see how many hairs they work with, and if it is a decent amount I’ll release. 

Anonymous said: First off I want to say how amazing all of your hairs and collabs are! Second I was curious if you ever thought of going back to your old hairs and updating their thumbnails / display indexes so they matched your stuff now?

I really really wanted to have all my 2019 hairs updated by 2020. It was only January 2019-April 2019 that needed updated (thumbnails and display indexes). But I just lost motivation for doing it. I will focus on it next time I have a big break from school. Also planning on updating select stuff from 2018 and 2017. 

Anonymous said: please put Sophia Barker in the gallery. PLEASEEEEE it's the most beautiful sim I EVER seen! >:3 PLEASEEE!!!!!!!!!!

She should be on there? I think? Make sure you have CC enabled and if you can’t find me through the gallery her tray files are here

Anonymous said: Hi! After the recent patch I started having a small issue with Bree hair(without bangs), when I zoom out it looks like a completely different hair, something similar to that one basegame hair that's layered with tips pointed outward but longer. Thought I'd let you know, maybe others have had a similar issue or maybe I need to change a setting or something. Love your work so much!

Really surprised this is the first time someone told me about this lmao. The hair should be updated now on SFS/Patreon <3

Anonymous said: I tried to look around for this on your "Asks" portion before bothering you (so sorry), but do you have a link perhaps for all the lips you use on your models? Are they in game or a cc you create? Thanks so much! Love all of your work! I'm super new to cc stuff and I found yours like 2 days ago and have been going nuts with downloads lol 

like presets? None of my cc models use a lip preset. I do use this slider on some of them though. For lipsticks, that is listed for each model on my resource page <3

Anonymous said: i’ve been looking for a hair like lexi that i actually like forever and now i find it but it’s for paterson peeps and i’m like actually broke and i’m like :/

im sorry ;n; at least it wasn’t too long of a wait? :/ I hope you liked the hair

Anonymous said: I can't find your jisoo ponytails in your downloads?

they’re in my retired section... may they rest in peace. scroll to the bottom of my downloads and youll see ‘RETIRED.’ click that for the retired download page. 

@eclypt-0-sims said: Hi, I recently started making MM hair and I know you're probably an expert at this but; every time I go into CAS to test a hair, all of my accessories clip with the hair. Like the hair texture would cover some glasses if my sim was wearing glasses. I don't know how to fix it, someone told me to delete an eye weight in blender but I don't really understand weight painting that much, any suggestions? love your content btw

this is a late as hell reply i’m sorry. I think that you have texture where the glasses texture would be. Hair texture should only be in hair section or hat section (if you don’t want it hat compatible). Here is a UV map layout that I use for making hair textures. It shouldnt have anything to do with weights

Anonymous said: Do you use reshade when you take previews for your cc? and also is the tropical punch ombre overlay a palette or did you make it?

I do use reshade when I take cc previews. It adds a bit of saturation to my sims and gives them some shadows under their chin/clothes. Nothing major. Also, myself and @imvikai came up with the tropical punch palette together.

@little-eris​ said: You probably have answered this before but who drew your tumblr icon? I’ve seen the same art style with other simmers 👉🏼👈🏼 it’s super cute!

thank you! here is their twitter 

Anonymous said: The male sim in your Tiny Living review looks soo familiar; was there inspiration from anyone IRL? The person he reminds me of isn't even famous so I don't even know! He is very pretty though *-*

He was a gallery sim that I just revamped a bit so I’m honestly not super sure lmao. But he is very attractive yes I agree

that concludes this ask ceremony please collect your things and move to the exit to your left. fvghbjn if you sent something I didn’t answer and it was off anon I’ll get to you soon (person who asked what beards I used for AxA... I see you)

[slitherbop]

Are you ever going to redo hot dagn? I really want to read the webcomic, and can you at least give an estimate to when you’ll maybe try updating it? Owowowowowowowo

im glad you care a lot about my doog comic that youd want her back!! but bruh you must know that i stopped trying to force myself to work on it cuz of the pressure of having to make the story, here, ill tell you my dark lore...

*harp noise of a flashback happens* 2018 was big depression slither, it was affecting the way i was writing the story, it was SUCH A HOPELESS FEELING PLOT, and i would choose working on it over hanging out with friends or letting myself work on other things, my friend told me i was like ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES SLITHER A DULL BOY and thats forever ringing in my head (though also depresion me is just isolate-ive in general BUT YEA) a personal project shouldnt be the kind of thing you feel like you Have to make, especially when the reason is for is cuz there was an audience who liked it and expecting you to have planned the whole story. it was motivating at first but then it felt like I Must do this.. something that others and myself would never let me forget

that was my mentality for the longest time... ive let myself Not think about dagn and dont force myself to do anything meant to be made for my own joy, like letting myself wander to whatever it is i felt like creating.. which means NO i havent been trying to update it.. ill be honest we’ll never see hot dagn in its original form again and id rather the old webcomic pages be lost forever

HOWEVER, without the affection of outside forces, i do think about hot dagn sometimes, in the vague abstracted way ive talked about in the tags of the more recent dagn arts.. where everything feels weird but hot is still herself but looks different and the characters are there but different, and it really does feel simple at first but becomes dark and colourful and like a fever dream. ive drawn new art of my ideas few days ago actually and youll see that in maybe a week from now, its more funner for me to draw than how it used to be, ya know thIS BOY LIKES TO DRAW WONKY AS FUNK

YWEAH also the story......is different, i want it to be more hopeful than what i had planned, cuz having a story that puts characters thru pain that has no meaning sucks, during the run of the webcomic we never got to gut punching nonsense that my edgy teen self came up with, i like silly dagn and i love genuine doog, i still like scary stuff happening tho, thats where the weird existential feeling stuff stays. idk if people would like it but man i just want to make things for my own enjoyment      this paragraphs getting big,

SORRY FOR THE BIG DUMP OF TEXT, sometimes thinking about the pressure of webcomics makes me wild, this is a very kind message you sent to me with a good heart and it does mean a lot that you liked my comic, so its just me going off here like a fool!!!!!!

[bloodydamnit]

(1/5) hey! so I had smth that im a little nervous/scared to say, in regards to rr season 2? ive been debating mentioning it, & I dont know how to word it exactly, because I ADORE everything yall are doing, dont get me wrong. I ADORE robin, I love how yall are developing her: however, some of the elements feel like homeschooler stereotypes? which may not be the intention, im sure its not, but like,,

Hey there! First of all, thank you so much for sending this message. There’s no reason to be nervous or scared! We really appreciate messages like this. It helps us further develop ourselves in addition to our characters and helps us think about things outside of our own experiences. So this is really really great. 

With that being said, it absolutely was not our intent and while I completely understand where you’re coming from, all the things we’ve used to describe Robin has kind of been in the absence of thinking about her being homeschooled? To be honest, I don’t even really think we thought of much of her homeschooling, besides the fact that she was, why she was, and who took the time to teach her. I dont know if you’re a part of the discord, but last night Robin spoke a bit more about herself in the chat. And there, she said she grew up in the Bronx, NYC. Our point of homeschooling her wasn’t only because it was the only viable option we saw? Considering she did lose 6 years and catching her up would be somewhat of an impossibility, especially since she lost so much of her formative education, but because her venturing out into the Bronx, alone, as a kid with others, wouldn’t have been conducive to her learning or growth. Especially with the few resources the Bronx gave in their area, Robin’s family’s monetary status, and the utter neglect NYC provides to particularly children of color, children of color from underprivileged backgrounds, and in her case a child of color who was so far behind with such a wrought and traumatic past. 

Okay that was a lot. I’m just trying to explain why we had her homeschooled in the first place. As for the stereotypes, Im really sorry it came off that way. It was in absolutely no way our intent. Molding her to the character she is was more based on her parents being overprotective (sometimes justifiably so) rather than anything that could be placed on homeschooling. That includes her not being around many kids, not knowing how to interact in social circles, etc. On the note of her not being around many kids, I don’t know if you’re familiar with the Bronx or Brooklyn, or east Harlem specifically (since everything is becoming so gentrified), but a lot of kids end up being sent out to private schools further in the city so they don’t get caught in the neglection of public schools (by the city) in their neighborhoods. That also includes the prevalence of gangs and other ‘negative’ influences that take hold in the black community in particular. One example I can give is Spiderman into the Spiderverse lol. That’s just something recent that I know most people have seen and can go ‘ooohhhhh’. Same thing with “The Hate U Give” and a shit ton of other movies. It was more of her parents being overprotective in her community due to what happened to her and wanting to keep an eye, rather than our stereotypical view of homeschooled people (I’m friends with many!)

As for Robin’s way of speaking, I completely get how that can be seen as a stereotype. Honestly, we made her that way because 1) we had to separate her typing from the others. Andrew’s very grammatically correct, Neil’s fairly short, Seth uses all lower cases, Allison types how she speaks, Renee is very polite, and Dan is fairly assertive. We had to find something to separate Robin from the group. And what we chose is that her sentence structure may not be perfect in the sense that a lot of her sentences are run-ons and she lacks commas. 2) We chose her lack of cursing more for her own moral code than anything. Her way of speaking is something she can control. How she voluntarily comes off to people is under her control. And after growing up in the Bronx, being a mixed black kid, having a traumatic story, a lot of people will look down upon her and expect the worse. We wanted Robin to sort of rise from the ashes, so to speak. We wanted her to know exactly how she comes off to people and how she can ‘be taken seriously’ in the white pockets she needs to be in order to get her story out. We sort of see it as a very long, committed, code switch. Especially since for so many years, she wasn’t. Hence why she came to Neil and Andrew in the first place. 

I’m sorry that this is so long and if this is confusing or doesnt make any sense!!! It really wasn’t our intent and I’m not trying to clean up and save our ass or anything. I just wanted to explain why we chose to make Robin the way we did and honestly, it was in the complete absence of homeschooling. But I totally see how it can come off that way and I’m sorry! We’ll be more cognizant of it in the future for sure. Perhaps not in changing her character because we feel really strongly about why we’ve made her the way we have, but most certainly in explaining OUR motives throughout the story, etc. Maybe we’ll even have a talk in the story with a character about stereotypes like that. If we choose that, I would love to talk to you more to make sure we get it right!

Again, thank you so much for this. It really helps us become more aware and we appreciate it a lot. Sorry for blabbing for so long!!! And thank you for the support. It means a lot and if we ever do something to make you uncomfortable, please let us know so we can either rectify or change it or at least become more aware!

-BloodyDamnit

[beefstatic]

i love love love cluttered spaces, i hope you find the motivation/energy to finish it someday!! it's so good and you're a great writer. you write shimazaki and minegishi wonderfully. sorry to bother you, i hope you have a nice day~

im glad you like it!! im so flattered aaa ^^

And honestly i do really like a lot of what ive written! My plans to rewrite would mainly focus on focusing MORE on shimazaki/minegishi and less on... takenaka and shou and whoever else i wrote. I think when I first wrote takenaka in it was because he’d recently been reintroduced in the manga and i really wanted to try writing him... butttttt that ended up with me going through hoops for an overcomplicated plot i wasn’t ready for (and lost interest in).

So!?? idk, im not gonna start completely from scratch, but im gonna slim it down a lil and keep the parts i like and figure out a better ending and maybe rewrite some scenes since its Been Awhile. ig that just leaves me with a question abt what to do with the old version lol... delete it? idk i kinda like looking back on old work aaa

anyway lol ur ask is super nice and ur not bothering me at all! just thought id use it as an opportunity to announce (?) what my plans for it are :3

[hideyoshineki]

Writers Reflections: Tag Meme

I was tagged by @oathkeeperoxas my ultimate writing senpai uwu ❤💛❤

Rules: answer the following questions about your own writing, whether fanfic or original. If you can't/don't want to answer a question, just put N/A. If you don't have that many posted works, tell us about your WIPs or individual chapters/drabbles or even your ideas! Then tag as many writers as you like :)

AO3 name and link, if applicable: angeltrumpets

What's your most popular fic, by whatever metric is most relevant to you (hits, kudos, comments, reblogs, some other trait)?:

By Any Other Name is the most popular on AO3, but it's the only fic of mine that isn't a oneshot and it's also a soulmate AU (Hdkn from TG) so that just kinda automatically makes it more popular than my other fics.

On tumblr tho, my most popular fic has easily been A Source of Warmth, which as of now has 87 notes. It's a Hdkn TG oneshot I posted when the fandom was at its peak in 2015, however about a year ago it got a bunch more notes like a sudden attention and idk why but it was unexpected that's for sure.

What's your favourite fic that you've written?

Hmmmmmm Dancing Fireflies is my favourite in terms of the context behind it and how much damn fun it was to write, because it's a crack fic, but treated seriously, which made it more fun to write, and I also like going back and reading it again. It's also the fic with the most entertaining comments.

What's your best fic, and is it different from your favourite fic?

Recurring Illusions. It's the most recent thing I've written. (Hdkn oneshot, angst, an excuse for me to never stop being owned by Chapter 136). It really does FEEL like my best fic, as in I had a really good feeling as I was writing it! I was doing a lot that I hadn't written before, and I worked really hard on it! It came out really good!

Unfortunately because the fic is tagged with Graphic Violence and Implied Character Death, not many people are clicking to read it, but I expected that. The Graphic Violence was actually one of the things that was new to me, because most of my writing is very.... hmm uneventful? Like nothing big happens in most of my oneshots. Whereas here it was like Im writing a scene where he's killing people or eating people here how does that get written. Especilly the eating. I am very proud of the eating part of the oneshot especially because I pushed myself to go further with it and not shy away from details. I also am proud of the choices I made when writing it to display what state of mind Kaneki was in at certain parts.

Do you have a fic whose popularity surprised you?

OMG YES!!??!! Coffee And Thieves!! It's my second most viewed and kudosed fic on AO3 and I'm ????? like I'm still lost!!!!! It was a secret santa fic I wrote of the Amon/Hide/Kaneki poly ship and its popularity confuses me for two reasons: 1) I had no idea this many people would be clicking on it and reading it because honestly it's a super rare ship especially being a poly ship and I wouldn't have even known of its existence if it weren't for who I was gifting the fic to! But apparently more people are looking to read the ship than I thought! And 2) quality of writing wise it's more simplistic than some of my other fics. Like it's just fluff and I know people like reading that but it also means there's less room to like... show-off writing capabilities, you feel? Altho again, it's not like people are looking for that when it comes to fluff.

Do you have a fic you wish more people would read?

THE WITCH'S SERVANT! It's easily the oneshot I spent the most time on like I posted it months after starting it because I spent so long getting it right and soooooooo many hours working it out. But yeah it got comparatively much less attention than my other Hdkn fics. But I am still proud of it because I worked really hard on it and I got to write up what I wanted, which was the play that Hide and Kaneki brought up in the series. I wanted to look more into that and write about it, because I had seen meta and theory writers talk about Hide and Kaneki's roles in that play in relation to their roles in the overall story of TG, so I tried to integrate a little of that meta into the fic. I also included dialogue from the unused draft from the last ep from Root A in the fic. So there was a lot I was putting in, and yeah while it's a shame it didn't get more attention, I'm still happy with it and proud of it.

Is there a ship or fandom you haven't written, but really want to?

I have been wanting to write Reigisa from Free since fckn 2014. Every year I have been like "This is the year I contribute to Reigisa Week" and then I don't. And since Ive been with the ship for a long time and seen a lot of it, I feel like I know the characters and ship dynamic well enough to be comfortable writing it. But yeah Ive never gotten around to completely writing anything. Ive started a few, but they had always ended up abandoned.

Tell us a random fact about your writing process:

Ok so Im slow as shit right, like my multichapter fic from earlier has 2 chapters written and I started the fic in March this year so lol i know slowness and going ages without writing is common with a lot of writers tho

Usually what gets me going is a song putting me in a mood. Often the song won't match the mood of the fic I'm writing, as it'll almost always be a more angsty emotional song that gets me motivated, even if what I'm writing is not emotional at all. It just makes me feel like I can get things out more easily and write more interestingly.

I also save my writing docs in dropbox so I can always add to it either on my laptop or phone whenever I feel like it and it's synced up, but it never really ends up that way because nothing happens when I try to write on my phone I'm rarely able to write without the laptop setup.

Tagging @akaaka04 because Red ur the only mutual who first came to mind when I was thinking of mutuals rn who write, anyone else I can think of I'm either not mutuals with or I don't know for sure if they write or not. Sorry if I'm forgetting someone