#im sorry I just have a lot of amnesia feels

[14dayswithyou]

Ren owes me 24 dollars. Nahh really gimme 24 dollars. Im hungry. T_T

I really Really REALLY hope no one asked that. Becuase if someone did, then I'll be so emberassed. Im sorry! Well, anyway. The question is : If Angel had amnesia, what would be the first thing each character would say to them to summarize their relationship, history, etc.

And who would lie? A little/a lot And I just wanted to thank you! You did such an amazing job creating this game! IM LITTERALLY INLOVE WITH VIOLET AND [REDACTED] THEY'RE SUCH A CUTIES! I hope you have a wonderful day! (>u<)

(Also sorry for possible mistakes. My english is TERRIBLE.)

⌞♥⌝ Aside from Ren, I think all of the cast would tell Angel the truth. Olivia might not say anything simply because she's not exactly friends with Angel in the first place, and Teo might initially lie just to see what would happen — but for the most part, everyone else would have genuine concern and be very supportive during Angel's recovery.

Ren would subtly try to overplay Angel's relationship with him, and would probably use it to his advantage as well. Things like, "Oh, you let me visit your apartment aaaall the time! Y-You... You even gave me your spare key!", "You've always considered me as your closest friend, but... Well, you never want to hurt Leon's feelings", and "Hey, we always visit my place on Fridays to watch your favourite movies! Y-You love spending time with me!".

He wouldn't outright lie and convince Angel that he's their partner (or someone they have romantic feelings for), but he'll try to insinuate that maybe they have a deeper connection than what was originally going on.

[mono-dot-jpeg]

born from another timeline - jayce, viktor

summary; "viktor, wake up, hexcore just dropped a hot person" - jayce, probably

genre/extra tags; oneshot, fluff, comedy, maybe some angst, is this considered isekai /j, amnesia?, zauntie! reader, different timeline! reader, the almost too good to be to be true timeline, hexcore knows everything, magic curses, can be seen as romantic or platonic, half baked ending, im sorry this can seen as ambiguous ending

word count; 1.3k

a/n; it's time for some silly silly writing. im changing up some of the request to be a little more interesting. im not great at interpreting long requests like this bc they can be a lot for me, and sometimes, with requesting in excitement, they can have some parts that dont make sense. but i still hope it's enjoyable. also i have no idea if my addition to this request made sense but i was too committed so. enjoy :)

you don't remember a fucking thing. all you know is that something called a hexcore spit you out, and now you're floating in the air with two really hot people. and you're undoubtedly panicking, and they're panicking too.

generally, a lot of panic.

when you finally manage to stop floating, the situation settles a little bit. at least for the two men that were floating with you.

"how did you get here?" but unfortunately, you had to be questioned. which was reasonable, you would probably do the same.

a yordle creature is trying to question you and your origins, but your mind can't seem to conjure up anything that would be a viable answer. "i.. don't know. but where exactly am i?"

the yordle, heimerdinger, informs you that you are in piltover and introduce you to viktor and jayce as well.

"piltover.. i definitely didn't know that this was piltover because i've never been around there."

"do you remember anything about your home?"

"not much. but i'm from the undercity." you answer. and that leaves the young scientists to ponder why exactly the hexcore brought you here. was it really that powerful to just teleport people from the undercity to piltover?

nothing seemed to be clicking. and so, they decide to escort you back to the dark lanes of the undercity.

but when you reach the bridge, viktor can spot the shine of confusion in your eyes.

"wait.. this is the undercity, right?" you looked over at the glum streets. "but.."

"but what? it always has been like this."

"this isn't.." you head pulses with pain as a memory tries to break through. "the undercity wasn't like this. it was-" before you can even speak about your home, it feels like you have the wind knocked out of you. your breath heaving as you cough near uncontrollably. jayce and viktor are quick to offer a hand to help you. jayce holds you steady, and viktor offers a hesitant but gentle hand. "it wasn't like this.." you can only mutter as another cough tickles your throat, threatening to come out. it doesn't take long for the two men to come up with a different thought instead.

"i don't think you're from our world." viktor said slowly.

"but i'm from runeterra, i live in zaun, i know that much." you get a little defensive. "and i know that, this isn't the zaun i live in."

"i think it's much more different than what v is saying. let's just head back."

viktor should've realized sooner as a zaunite himself. you didn't wear any worn-out dirtied clothing or had that scent of undercity smoke and gasoline that always permeated around the lanes. you were different from the undercity he knew.

with enough convincing to heimerdinger, he agrees to let you stay in piltover, but viktor and jayce would have to be responsible for you. which admittedly feels a little offending as you're not any kind of irresponsible pet or kid, but you wave off the annoyance for a more pressing problem.

"i'm from a different timeline?"

"it sounds crazy, i know." jayce immediately tells you, just seeing the incredulous look on your face. "but it seems like the most logical conclusion. you said you were from runeterra, you were from the undercity, and that the undercity you know doesn't look the way our undercity does."

"it could be entirely possible that you can even be from a different universe in general, ehh... i suppose that would be like a timeline, too." viktor sucked in a breath through his slightly clenched teeth as he tried to wonder over the details of what counted as a universe or timeline.

"the point is, this isn't the runeterra you know. and we don't know how to get you back."

and so you basically had a reset button on your life, now living in a world that was close to yours.. but not quite.

heimerdinger had concluded that there was some sort of magic binding on your memories, not allowing you to speak too much detail of them. and there seemed to be no loopholes for it. you would be stuck like that for an unknown amount of time.

that was concerning, to say the least. but not as concerning as trying to remember that this isn't the world you know. you're not meant to be here. but you'd be lying if you said that you weren't curious about how this world functioned compared to yours.

you were naturally really interested in the hextech. and it seemed like the hexcore was interested in you, it spit you out into here after all.

"do you think the hexcore is the reason i can't talk about my home?" you asked the two scientists as you stared at the core of magic and science.

"it would make sense. in a way. it's the only magic you've been exposed to. and directly in contact with.. obviously." viktor said with matter of fact tone.

it seemed like it was the only somewhat reasonable answer. and there was only one solution to you; live this new life. you don't remember everything that happened in your old life, and even if you did, you'd be coughing up your lungs before you can get a word out about it.

alternate reality and timelines really aren't fun, you realize quickly. you live in this.. new piltover and zaun and it's.. really off-putting. like knowing that everything is fine, but your mind is telling you that there's something just so wrong.

your identity blends in just enough with the support of viktor and jayce. but you don't feel right. viktor easily can sense that feeling of isolation. he understands it too well. it's the face he's seen on multiple zaunites like himself. when they don't know if they really belong in this world.

he tugs you away into his side of the lab as the gentle whirring of the hexcore hums with life, mocking you that you have no way home. jayce had left to pick up some dinner for you three, and you stayed behind for the sole reason of not having anything better to do (and maybe even keep viktor company).

the look in his sharp amber eyes is hesitant before he speaks. "how are you feeling?" he asked within the ambiance of the lab. he doesn't look at you, turning to mindlessly fiddle with his work-in-progress hex claw.

you shrugged halfheartedly with a hum, "i don't know. it just..." you let out a sigh. "it doesn't feel right."

"what doesn't?"

"being here." he lets you continue if you want, stopping his tinkering to look at you. your eyebrows furrow with a frown on your lips. "i don't know. maybe i'm just being delusional."

he pursues his lips, trying to find the right words to say. "i'm sorry we can't find a way back to your home." he said softly. "i can't imagine how it feels like to live in a world so similar but so different from home." he takes your wrist gently to guide you to an empty chair next to him.

you sit down slowly. he looks at your disheartened face.

"i'm not great at comfort like this. jayce would probably do much better than me right now. he gives a great hug." he laughed weakly, trying to lighten the mood. "but i'm not going to sit back and let you be alone on the pain." his eyes swirl with warmth. you can tell he's trying his best to comfort you.

"do you think.. we would ever meet back in my timeline?"

before viktor could answer, the door opens, revealing the golden boy himself.

"i got us some dinner!" his smile oblivious and bright, unware of the heavy air as his presence seems more bright than the setting sun.

you don't feel like you belong in plitover, but you know you belong with viktor and jayce at least.

[lapdogchase]

ok my prediction for the end of the show Dont tell me if im right i just want to be able to brag later if i am. Spoiler warning btw tho bc i do know some stuff already

ok ive seen enough spoilers to know house dies at the end. my guess is its from cancer, specifically brain cancer and a tumor has been causing his hallucinations. guessing it will be very tragic. possibly his own hubris will kill him which would be fun. maybe someone elses hubris. He's definitely gonna start vicodinmaxxing at some point right it's so strange to see him without a bottle of pills

guessing chase will become Worse. not sure in which ways but he will be Worse.

i want to believe thirteen will be doing okay, foreman as well.

im fully expecting taub to get a divorce by the end of the series. sorry taub

house and wilson will get gayer. i dont think they will kiss or do anything Explicitly gay. but i think it will be undeniable

before i saw the house dies spoiler i had known Someone would die (the last episode is literally called everybody dies). and i was thinking wilson + brain cancer (have brain cancer on the mind for some reason? wait Lol. mind. get it bec-) But i dont think they would both die, at least not of the same type of cancer, i feel like that would be like. a strange writing choice? but also this show has a lot of things id usually consider strange writing choices done Really Well, so idk. maybe they Would both die

i dont think house and cuddy will ever for real get together. he's too tormented she's too normal. i dont expect the lucas storyline to go thru to the end of the show tho either

last episode of the show someone nukes the hospital and it blows up and everyone dies and gets reborn but with amnesia. <- this is a JOKE that would be such a terrible fucking ending im so glad no media in the history of the world has ever ended like that.

i Want there to be more chase lore revealed i want to know everything about him i want to pick him apart and study him like a bug. i want to put him in my washing machine and watch him tumble around

ok. im done now. will add any other predictions as i think of them. again Nobody confirm anything

[katetorias]

Hi :D

Sorry for the anon ask, I'm too shy to ask on your Instagram story whenever you do a qna. I've been wondering what it feels like to be (part of) a system. I can't quite imagine what that must be like and I'm just super curious about it

One of my most burning questions has been: how does it feel to just come into existence as a new alter? You said that Prom is still a fairly new addition and I honestly can't imagine what that must feel like and how someone wouldn't know they were a system after that.

Also how does it feel to be an alter that isn't the host? Does it feel shitty to not be out as much and to be considered "somebody's alter" instead of their own person?

Feel free to ignore this if you're uncomfortable with it. Also love your art of you and your fiancé, so cute!!

since systems are formed due to the unique trauma the specific system went through, we can only really talk on our experiences. since people react to trauma differently, systems (an extreme trauma response), all form differently and have different ways they fit into the diagnostic criteria for these disorders.

im going to answer your question in a long format below^^

• for context: we are bodily 22, and we've been receiving psych care since we were around 11/12. our therapeutic progress has always been stagnant because after we left the situation we were in, we had almost completely blocked out everything that happened. so we had nothing to tell our therapists and we didn't feel comfortable talking with them. we were often dissociated and would just answer questions shortly while staring at the ground instead of engaging.

because of our lack of progress/seeming lack of effort, our mom stopped taking us to therapy and psychiatrist appointments. she thought it was a waste of time and probably saw our mental illness as misbehaving/not caring enough to try to be happy. this kept us from having proper psych care for years. we would occasionally get called to the counselor's office in school and at some point we had to start missing school for therapy again. college had us losing that support and flunking out because of the dissociation/suicidality. we only finally got access to meds after i had to go outpatient, and we've been with our therapist since.

• how we didn’t notice: due to this we had no knowledge that our experiences weren't normal. our mental health has been neglected for years and we had no way of knowing what was happening with us because we had no basis as to understand. we have a gap in our memory from a little after we left our situation to early high school. our friend always says we knew each other in middle school and talked, but we don't remember enough of those years. amnesia can show up in a lot of different ways. we've only experienced two noticeable black outs, the rest is gradual. not remembering things soon after they happened, being told we said things we didn't remember saying, being unable to describe important events in our lives, vaguely knowing what happened but not remembering the experience.

• on forming: When I (Prompto) formed, we had just flunked out of college and were forced to start working. Me and my fiancé were just starting our relationship and were playing my source. My source was a fat child who experienced bullying and parental neglect, being left alone and friendless for years, feeling like he has to change his weight to be liked. We really couldn't handle having a job. we were clinging and desperately coping by consuming my source. Eventually I started feeling like I was confusing things that happened in game with things that happened to me, and my real life memories from years, or even just months before didn't feel familiar. This was frightening, I would cry to Noctis about how I was feeling, how I couldn't remember anything before our road trip (event in source). But we didn't have any resources to explain, I thought I was being weird and childish.

Because of the stress of this job we had, I would spend most of our time in a heightened state, anxious or dreading the next days. Jack (who formed in our childhood to take care of us and our little brother when we’d be left alone) started resurfacing again after being gone for years. Our brain was trying to protect us, but I didn’t understand why I suddenly felt different. Sometimes it felt like I would just leave. I started being told that I was saying things I didn’t agree with again. Jack felt miserable trying to force himself to be me. This conflict and pain was the reason we ended up outpatient, and a few months after came to terms with the fact that we were a system.

• on what it’s like to not be the host: for us we don’t really refer to ourselves as “someone’s” alters since we don’t really have a collective identity (discounting the body we act like). I’ve been making an effort to accommodate everyone, and make sure we get the time we want in the body or just have things that are our own. (Making space for their things/interests. Setting times for specific people to have a chance to front)

This is Nathan’s perspective since he’s been fronting more often lately:

- I actually used to hate being an alter. i felt frustrated that I got torn away from my shitty life to just be part of someone else’s. I didn’t want to exist in the system at all. our body isn’t mine. im skinny and im covered in healing SH scars, and im not hairy and i have short hair, im cis. i used to hate fronting. I would actively wish i could just disappear. it didn’t seem like me being around was helping anyone. dissociation sucked and I would pick fights with our fiancé. im pretty much the only one of us who gets full flashbacks, and i fucking hate looking at stuff for my source online because everyone hates me. or ignores the story to justify hating me instead of just. hating me for what’s actually in source.

we talked with our therapist and eventually i started coming to therapy and she treated me like my own person. she made sure to create a distinction between my feelings about something and Prompto’s. she told me to create a thing i could do instead of be angry which is why i would usually front. Prompto put a lot of effort into making me feel comfortable. it’s like pri could tell how sensitive I actually am. pri designated a corner of our apartment to me and got me decorations pri thought i would like. i got to make my own instagram. It felt good to be myself. when i wasnt forcing myself to be prompto i felt more content. the more i could express myself as a person the easier it was to communicate with the system, i struggled less with memory and i think were less dissociated now than ever because prompto made such an effort to acknoledge us as our own selves.

sorry for the long answer but you asked so not sorry I guess lol. prompto probably had a better closing statement but I don’t really give a fuck. thx for the question

[rantz-for-st0ry]

ig the good thing about making a research doc (which I'm dubbing as 101s) for the aforementioned person is that, now, ppl cant fake claim me for allegedly not doing research and just googling the disorder, looking at "silly websites" and relating to a few of the symptoms listed!! a thing I actively advise against!! I got receipts on my years of research into DID now!! I got sources I can fuckin cite!

most of this rant is in the tags cus I didn't wanna clog up my complaining Abt this person post w my "fake claimers r fucking stupid" rant

never befriend ppl w a names. it never goes well. /vvvlh /silly (as in I mean no real offense to ppl w a names)

[stabbyfoxandrew]

just any aftg fics you’ve enjoyed in the last month or so!!! im not picky, they can be whatever ship whatever au or content :) curious and in the mood to read something new……

okay! :D gonna go grab some stuff from my ao3 history. cut because it got long

kandreil:

game changer by peaceoutofthepieces

andreil come to visit kevin in his new apartment and he feels weird about it. but then...

Scrambled by klovnen

kevin gets a concussion!! so sad so good. his bfs take care of him. <3

it's worth a little blood to get your arms free by wyverning

kevin and neil start fucking around but they both really want andrew! (i haven't finished this one yet because it wasn't done when i read it but it is not and i'm hyped to see what happens)

If We Gotta Go (Gotta Go Tonight) by queer_lovebot

andreil teach kevin how to drive and it's so sweet TWT <333

stuck between your teeth like cotton candy by memeyoozi (vernonsgf)

this one is (for now) a two part series!!!! it's pre-kandreil iirc and the second part is MORE of kevin going insane because he's in love with andreil? i need to reread this one. but this writer is amazin

kevjean:

teenage dream by kevjean

kevin comes to california for a visit and he's packing! jean sucks the strap (it's pink/ i'm glad you're not colorblind) it's amazing i have a bouquet of flowers for ao3 user kevjean!!!

andreil:

Caretaking 101: When to Surrender a Sweatshirt by williams_strawberries

mein gott... i've been thinking about this fic for months. andrew thinks neil's about to run away but he's actually built himself a nest for his heat in the tower's basement. it's soooo TwT you'll see what i mean go read it. (no actual smut, just has the abo elements!)

i only need the working of my hands by allyasavedtheday

AMNESIA ANDREW!!! the man who remembers everything forgets what's most important. and has to re-learn who neil is. showstopping... amazing increbdile <- so good my stupid ass forgot how to spell!

keremy:

once in a lifetime by kevjean

jeremy is a popstar and kevin is his biggest fan! they fuck backstage and it's glorious!!! GLORIOUS!!! ao3 user kevjean... i love you<333

kevseth:

Baby Pink by noNic02

ok. this one... made me insane(r). it's not for everyone for sure... but kevin and seth are secretly fucking and kevin wears allison's clothes (kevin is having a lot of gender thoughts in here too... an egg...)

misc:

a detachment and a passive disinterest by memeyoozi (vernonsgf)

not sure where to put this one... kevin is in heat and needs dicked down. nicky volunteers! hooray! but also kevin wants andreil so bad he's insane! (they're all insane your honor) but it's so good? ty sister dayurno for showing me this...

sorry for the terrible formatting i've never really done this before? (i don't think anyhow?) anyway! go read all these okay! ❤️

[funkii-fox]

Diavolo + Doppio DID Hcs

I feel like we need more Doppio + Diavolo content focusing on the realistic aspects of DID. I feel like we don’t focus on it enough as a fandom because it’s more convenient.

I do not have DID, so im sorry if something is incorrect or offensive. Pls tell me if it is!

Appearance

They have the same face. What makes them “look different” is their resting face. Diavolo has a naturally angry face, and Doppio has a more neutral, but approachable resting face.

I think their face is long and thin in shape. White skin with freckles. Pointy nose with a bump. Thin top lip and moderately wide bottom lip. Their eyebrows are thick at the center of the face and thin out, both in thickness and density, towards the sides of their face. Dense lashes line their eyes. Their eye color is hazel, sometimes looking green but other times looking light brown due to lighting.

Their body is lean muscular. Diavolo works out a lot, but Doppio isn’t too interested in staying strong. And since Doppio is the main, they stay a thinner type of muscular. They are very tall though. Canonically 191 cm/6’3!!!!!!

Another main way they are different is that Doppio likes his hair in a low ponytail/braid, but Diavolo likes it down. Diavolo prefers it short and undyed (natural brown), but he lets Doppio do what he wants with it. It’s better to convince everyone, even Doppio, that Doppio is the only personality by making the body “his”

Dynamic + Personality

Diavolo is the “original” personality, but Doppio is the most active personality. “Doppio” means “double”, implying that he is the “other one”. And in general, the plotline is centered around Diavolo, not Doppio.

I like to think Diavolo’s obsession with erasing all the clues of his existence stems from his disorder. He knows a lot about himself, but not who he is, and feels that no one else should know who he is if he doesn’t know.

Doppio genuinely doesn’t know the things he picks up aren’t real phones. “Hm? This is a phone, silly. Now excuse me, please. I’m talking to my boss.” It pisses off Diavolo, but he can’t just say “that’s not a real phone” bc it would blow his cover + Doppio would ask a lot of questions. “Why can’t he just pick up his own damn phone in his pocket?! You’re getting whipped cream on our face!”

Doppio is convinced he has amnesia and narcolepsy, but it’s actually just Diavolo taking over. Diavolo is the one who planted this seed in his head. “You’re so forgetful.”

Most of the day, Doppio is in control. When he isn’t doing a job for the boss, he likes to do relaxing hobbies. Although he’s a beginner, he loves drawing animals- his favorite to draw are puppies. He reads books- any book lying around that doesn’t have heavy themes. If he’s not in the mood for either of those, he likes taking walks and socializing with people he meets along the way. He never makes real friends though.

Doppio’s social life is kind of sad. He doesn’t like to think that he’s lonely, but the only person consistently in his life is Diavolo. The people he meets never usually stick- many of them think he’s too odd. He also doesn’t put any effort to keep in touch; it could be dangerous for either of them. Some of Diavolo’s paranoia rubbed off on him.

Diavolo is rarely the one in control. It’s usually about once or twice a day, for only a few hours max each time. In these few times of control, he is busy doing mafia boss work. If he’s not busy with mafia work, he prefers to keep himself busy with other stuff like chores or exercise. To him, if he’s not working, he will get caught.

Sometimes during mundane tasks, Diavolo’s mind wanders. He worries about what would happen if he’s caught. He paces the room and sweats bullets while biting his nails. Doppio always wonders how his nails get so gross. Diavolo’s condition can spiral quick, and soon he’s having a panic attack while hiding in a crawlspace. “I’m still not safe here!” He has a panic/ anxiety disorder, but no self awareness to see anything wrong nor has any intention to address it.

Sometimes, as seen in canon, Diavolo takes over if he feels like Doppio isn’t handling a mission right. He’s a micromanager in that regard, the pure fear over getting caught pushing him to stress perfection. After Diavolo takes over, Doppio is often confused about where he is + how he got so fucked up. “Gosh, what happened to me?” To sweep everything under the rug, Diavolo explains that it was Doppio’s amnesia or narcolepsy, and that he had to step in. To make sure to tie all loose ends, Diavolo makes sure to stay on calls with Doppio whenever Doppio is doing a mission. “Stay on call. I want to make sure you’re okay.” “Makes sense! Thank you, boss!”

Diavolo has a lot of unhealthy habits. He smokes, he has bad posture, he stresses himself so hard his heart nearly pops, and he works/ exercises too much. All of this is a stark contrast to Doppio’s relatively healthy life style. Doppio wonders a lot “where did this come from?” “Why am I so sore?”, so Diavolo often makes sure to hide all the evidence. For example this could be hiding the cigarettes and lighter. Or he explains away the soreness as Doppio forgot he fell and hurt himself.

Diavolo predicted his fate. Maybe King Crimson’s ability is a reflection of Diavolo constantly worrying about the future. He must’ve known he had a fate worse than death coming his way, and did damn near anything to prevent it. It’s the classic “self fulfilling prophecy” trope, if you think about it. If Diavolo never did the most to prevent his fate, maybe Giorno and the others wouldn’t have been after him.

Past

I like to think Diavolo killing his mom was because she failed to protect him. Everything he went through, all because she slept around. He choses to believe that she was making up crap to cover her ass. No chance his mom was pregnant for 2 years, and even if she was they would’ve known when she first went to prison. Everything he went through, all because she can’t obey the damn law. Was it really that hard to stay out of trouble, even for the love of your own son? “You’d think having a child would change a person!” He thought at the time, ironically. Everything he went through, it’s because of her. The common denominator is her. Now, it’s her turn to suffer.

His dream of becoming a sailor was because he hated the church. His only comfort from his life was the tranquil beach. He often sat on the sand, staring off into the ocean and dreaming of being a sailor. He dreamt of finally getting out of there, and never coming back.

Similarly, I think King Crimson’s ability is also a reflection of his past. How he was so desperate to get out of the moment, he just wished he could skip to the future. Maybe the future is better than the past and present.

I think its very interesting how DID developed this after getting out of the church. When i was researching, it seems that a common trigger is moving out of a traumatic environment, but not during the stressful time. It’s because Diavolo doesn’t want to remember the painful memories; it’s easier to remember it happening to someone else than happening to him.

The stem of their DID is long term physical, sexual, and emotional abuse by the church. The usual punishment for misbehavior was getting spanked, and by what depends on the severity of the crime. A hand, a paddle, cords, a cane, and even barbed wire. Poor boy left bleeding, bruised, sobbing, and shaking. I also find it hard to believe that he wasn’t sexually abused at least once. Even if we ignore the stereotype of Catholic priests molesting young boys, Diavolo was incredibly vulnerable. No mommy or daddy to run to, and not strong enough to fight anyone off. Can’t fight back at all or run away, because he lives with them. Is it better to submit and get molested, or to resist, get beaten black and blue, and then get molested? And I feel like Christianity as a whole is notorious for emotional abuse. There is an glorification of suffering and how it’s good to suffer because Jesus did on the cross. The notion that, “Everything happens for a reason. It’s God’s plan,” must’ve stung a lot. He was often told that “it was God’s plan” that he landed in the church. There’s also the idea that you must obey authority no matter what. It made him feel hopeless, like he can’t do anything about his life.

[kafus]

i realize the answer to this may be a person to person basis but is there a minimum degree of separation before an alter can be considered such? i've gotten a feeling of "wow its like theres a separate person in my head with me" more times than i can count but when i try to sort through it i end up wondering if the difference is enough for that to be the case. but im always scared to bring it up to anyone because i dont want to be disrespectful to anyone who actually does have have DID like yourself. from time to time i see you say the difference doesnt have to be something large or dramatic though & it makes me wonder. if this IS disrespectful im sincerely sorry

not disrespectful at all dw! take me with a grain of salt though this is a nuanced topic and i’m just one girl with DID and not a doctor

in my personal opinion, it can be really difficult to measure like… degree of alter separation even though obviously some amount of it is part of the diagnosis 😭 external aspects like changes in gender, name, voice, personality, can be really hard to measure especially by yourself, and also the severity of these changes may be hidden by DID being as covert as it is or fluctuate in intensity (especially with treatment/self discovery) so like TLDR; Generally i wouldn’t worry too much about trying to measure that sort of thing or compare to others too much, everyone is different

these days my alters are a lot less strikingly different from me than they used to be, they often share my name and appearance and stuff, there are exceptions (ayano especially) but these days i tend to recognize alters through my Symptoms which is a lot more reliable than like, Identity. tracking where i lose time/memory, acknowledging when i feel like i’ve lost executive control of myself (or regained it), my patterns of response to PTSD triggers, etc. like sometimes it’s still obvious by behavior (i have child alters that, well, act like children and distinctly feel like children in age) but the alter i was talking about earlier i realized was an alter due to my amnesia patterns around their posts and us actually getting into a (internally) verbal fight the other day when pushed by a Situation lol

all of this is not to say that exploring alter identity or how they may differ from you in personality etc isn’t useful or even rewarding! that is usually part of establishing communication with alters! just like. if you happen upon alters that aren’t super ultra different from you that doesn’t necessarily make them Not Alters. if you are experiencing symptoms that one has in relation to alters i would consider that to be a more important angle first and anything else can be figured out later

worth noting i am talking about all of this from a medical perspective/having DID perspective but if you want to identify as plural for whatever reason don’t let me stop you, i’m just not the one to ask about such matters as i am very strictly DID oriented for myself (because i, you know, have it)

[uniquely-plural]

I am pretty sure I'm a traumagenic system (undiagnised because my parents just think im "moody" amd dont belive i have other people in my head) but I have so many questions.

Is it OK that I still think of me as me and my alters as other people? I see alot of people who say "us" and "we" but I feel like I can't speak for them.

Is it normal for, when another alter fronts, me to still see through my eyes and know what's happening, but not ve able to control or stop it? It's like my consciousness is only in the alter I consider "me" and then there are other non-me people in my head, is that weird?

Would it be weird for me to say that at some points I've had conversations with my alter out loud, and it was like i could feel a vertical split in my physical body as to which alter was where? They were sort of like a caretaker whenever I was at my darker points, so they would talk to me and I'd talk back and it allowed for physical contact like hugs, ect, but I've never seen anyone describe something similar

Also, how on earth do people figure out what alter is what? It's like my consciousness (me) is in the front park of a semi truck abd the rest are all in the back so I can't see them but I am really sure that they're there.

I havr so many questions and no one to ask T T sorry if this is too much

It's always okay to ask questions! We can do our best to answer.

There are a lot of frameworks we use to understand plurality, and I don't believe any one of them is inherently superior to another. So when you're asking yourself, 'is this okay?' - I would try to ask yourself, 'does this feel right to me? Does framing things in this way help me function better and be happier?'

One person, just as an example, could have DID and figure out that understanding their alters as completely separate people from him was holding back his trauma recovery. Understanding his alters as part of himself and developing compassion and acceptance for them could be therapeutic.

For another system, knowing they are completely separate people who just happen to share a body is the understanding they need to be respectful towards each other and work together.

So yes, in your case? It's totally okay, normal, and common to feel like your alters are other people and you cannot speak for them. Some people always feel this way, and then some people feel like that at the beginning, but their understanding changes once they get to know their system more, or if they work on improving disordered dissociate barriers.

We can speak as an unit because we have a monoconscious, median system core. In other systems, each member prefers to speak only for themselves. That's also perfectly fine.

As for still seeing through your eyes while another alter fronts, that does sound possible if you have no amnesia barriers and possibly co-fronting, in the sense someone else is fronting as in 'control of the body' while you are still in front as in 'awareness of the outside world'. You could look into possession and possession style switches.

In polyconscious systems, members have their own individual consciousness.

It's not weird to have conversations out loud, if that's what helps you communicate. And that link to the possession entry mentions how it can also be experienced as an alter taking control of part of the body, so it sounds like you might have been in control of one half and your alter was in control of the other one, which makes sense to me. I'm very glad to hear they took care of you.

Not being aware of a lot of information about your alters or system is very common. Developing a better understanding is often a process of trying things and finding what works for your system, and it can vary a lot depending on things like level of internal communication, what barriers are present, etc. This post on Mapping your system could point you towards some possibilities.

I hope you found that helpful, and thank you for sharing your experiences.

[mik-mania]

ok TWO tadc things cus i had a thought mid-post

1. i think theres a good likelihood that the humans (or most of the humans) are all just uploaded consciousnesses. maybe that explains the name-amnesia (redacted info and/or just being a "player character" created by the real person youre supposed to represent.)

@gooseworx is really good at foreshadowing, so i think making the choice to explore gummigoo finding the game assets under the map in the 2nd episode was very purposeful. pomni clearly relates to the guy--so it wouldnt be too much of a stretch to say that gummigoo's existential crisis of realizing that he isnt "real" could be a parallel to pomni in the future having a similar kind of crisis (irt finding out she isnt "real")

2. i was watching vixen (gangle's VA) do commentary over TADC episodes and revealing little easter eggs. she was discussing this one mannequin that seems to be following the humans around and watching them, which lead to talking about the possible theory that one of the humans is secretly an AI or one of the AIs is secretly a human.

in the middle of writing #1, i suddenly connected that thought to the end of episode 1, where everyone is seated reminiscently to The Last Supper.

what does the last supper represent? it depicts the last supper that jesus will have with his disciples before judas betrays him. im pretty sure a lot of people have gone over this already, but this artistic decision seems like its foreshadowing that one of the humans will betray pomni and the rest.

in relation to #1. assuming that the humans are actually just their uploaded consciousnesses/player avatars meant to represent real people (but not the people themselves), what if this manifested as one of the humans *actually* being real. possibly even knowing the truth about the other players--that there is no escape for them, because there is no logging out for a player character.

i think keeping this knowledge to oneself would feel like a betrayal to the others. even if it was done to protect the others. maybe abstracting is a good example of what happens when you ultimately come to the truth, which is the same as giving up--youre never going to leave. and you cant deal with that. so its almost like, in game terms, your save file corrupts. theres no returning to that player character.

3. a surprise third point! this is pure speculation, but if this is all correct, i think kinger would be the real human. why?

1) good shock factor. "betrayal" communicates a sense of malevolence, and kinger is definitely not the poster child of malevolence. if anything, jax is a pretty good red herring when it comes to this. (as a side note, its possible that jax knows the truth? or hes just an asshole. lol.)

2) chekov's gun. or, more accurately, chekov's computer science degree. was kinger's line just a red herring throwaway? possibly. but it was put in there for a reason.

3) one of my first thoughts when it comes to dementia (a pretty direct parallel made with kinger), its honestly those virtual worlds/headsets made for dementia patients. VR can be incredibly beneficial for dementia patients, and can even provide comfort and familiarity given inclusion of an environment and/or people the patient was familiar with.

ive followed goose's content for a long time (based little runmo), and although i dont know how to articulate the pattern that ive noticed, she has an abstract way of relating cosmic horror to everyday issues. basically this idea is just giving me the same vibes. yeah, sorry, this point is just vibe-based.

4) kinger has been there the longest. itd make sense if he was the original, in the sense that this world was created for him. my assumption is that he's in end-of-life care, and that this is part of that care. that, or he said fuck the real world, this is my life now.

5) this whole theory kind of relies on kinger being older than his stated canon age, which is in his 50s (i forget the actual number). while early onset dementia happens, it IS more typical later in life.

that said--the 50-age-mark is kind of negotiable. when youre inside your own head, when youre disconnected from what is reality... what does age really mean? its just memories, isnt it?

my grandmother had moments where she was 20 years old again. and that was real to her.

the best way to care for someone with dementia isnt to argue with them over their reality. our perception is everything--that's what makes our reality.

6) kinger's increased cognition is almost like an inverse depiction of sundowning. if you dont know what that is, its a term for a common behavior in dementia patients where they become increasingly agitated and/or distressed in the later afternoon or evening (ie. when it gets darker.)

light therapy is said to be beneficial for those with dementia.

for kinger, the reverse seems to be true. it may be an intentional subversion of the "light=good, dark=bad" trope. if it is, i think its a beautiful choice.

anyway. yeah. i had some thoughts.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

WHAT TERRIBLE THINGS ARE YOU DOING TO MY BUG [mallrad] [i saw ur repost of nhw mal lmao]

I NEEEEED INFROMATION RN PLEASE FEEL FREE TO INFODUMP AS MUCH AS YOU WANT PLEASE

HI KOI!!!!!!!!!! sorry this has taken me forever to answer ive had a busy work week ouagh. but its MAL TIME NOW. well. technically amity time bc im gonna talk about the setting in general because i love it. whatever go my scarab!

IM GOING TO ANSWER THIS ASSUMING U KNOW WHAT NHW IS. IF YOU DONT IM SO SORRY but also the masterpost is HERE which has basically all the context u need i think.

awesome place to start is reading This Post because it basically lays out the essentials for amity in general and gives you a good idea of their whole deal (theres also this one. which is a joke. but its my favorite ever and i think you will appreciate the clarence)

since i mostly ran thru the basics of their plot timeline super quick in that post i can get into details in this one :] putting a lot of it under the cut so its not 12 miles long hehe

i really like leaving a lot of the amity stuff to be mystery partially because it will literally NEVER come up in the "canon timeline" or whatever since it all happened x number of years ago and partially because giving it an air of mystery makes it seem more myth/legend than anything concrete. which!! since its supposed to be the nhw equivalent of the spirit world i love the idea that its vague and mysterious and hard to comprehend that the Chaos Zone (colloquial name for the quarantine area around the city where they keep the trickster trapped) used to be like. a relatively peaceful idyllic city with only a small handful of capes and not a lot of action. that being said i do in fact have clam flavored brain worms which means i cannot help thinking about clarence and mal in so much detail that is SO unnecessary to the rest of the story other than serving to make what happened to them more tragic.

ANYWAY. all that being said that is my excuse for not having any solid ideas on mals trigger event. ive kind of played around with the idea that he's a case 53 (cauldron dropped him into the city mid-ghoul transformation and full of amnesia so he had. basically no identity before then and no idea where or who or what he was so he just kind of started breaking things) but honestly i havent thought abt it all that much bc its just not that important. either way. he started out as an unaffiliated rogue/villain. as ghoul, he was in his brute form like 90% of the time and behaved pretty much like a less cannibalistic venom. just kind of like. causing damage just because he can. really the ONLY two capes in amity at the time were Whisperer (clarence) and Afterlife (duck) (<< first duck mention btw!). Afterlife is a lot more apathetic to things like this (hes old. hes tired. hes survived WELL past the cape life expectancy but theres no real protocol for capes retiring because usually they just. die. so hes still here) and he really only responds to things he deems an emergency, and some rando causing property damage isnt enough to put ghoul on his radar. so that left Whisperer to deal with him. his powers are very nonviolent non-confrontational so his way of dealing with villains is to use his. basically tranquilizer powers to get them to stop doing whatever theyre doing (its a good thing amity is peaceful. this is NOT a. super great awesome offensive power and he can get very easily overwhelmed against more than one target). so he does this to Ghoul and since his he's a new cape and is not fully under control of his changer powers yet, his brute form drops as soon as hes calm and hes just. some sad disheveled looking guy.

so clarence sees this guy who is just. so incredibly lost. whether thats because of case 53 amnesia or like. post-trigger, post-changer state disorientation, hes just. like. pathetic. hes not being a villain because hes evil hes just doing things because he doesnt know what else to do. so clarence, who is way too kindhearted for his own good, offers to help him. and mal, who has probably never given this sort of softness in his life. just immediately fucking melts into it. of course he accepts that offer he has nothing else to do! he doesnt really care about being a hero or a villain or anything like that (having a morality crisis is boring and a waste of time) but this man is literally glowing and offering him a hand to hold and a purpose and something other than just mindless destruction

so mal drops the name Ghoul and gets his changer powers better under control and properly develops his master powers instead of his brute powers and becomes what essentially ends up being Whisperer's sidekick under the new name Purgatory (which. i really made on a whim at the time but now that i have had time to think about it really has a lot of significance to his character and state of mind and it makes me SICK)

mal has a sort of hero worship crush on clarence like. thats His Hero. thats the guy who picked him up off the ground and helped him stand out of the kindness of his heart and they know each other out of costume now and even in his civilian life clarence is funny and laid back and so easy to talk to and. mal is not those things. god he is so down bad. relationship wise i will point to this convo which i still stand by

but i think like. both in and out of costume theyre kind of inseparable. mal is like. suuuper super protective over clarence to the point where its kind of an intimidation factor to other people. scary dog privilege or whatever. i like to refer to it as like... if clarence was a prince mal would be his loyal knight. if mal was an animal he would be a falcon (fast, sharp, dangerous, always returns to its master etc etc etc).

its also really important to me that clarence DOES NOT see their relationship like this at all he is so. oblivious. or if hes not oblivious he just doesnt do anything about it or puts it out of his mind or whatever. i think one of clarences big flaws is that hes almost too laid back about certain things that he maybe should care about a little more? big "itll be fine" in situations where things . PROBABLY will not be fine if he doesnt do something about it. so while he doesnt really purposefully encourage mals weird hero worship with him he also doesnt really do anything to dissuade it either. so thats how we get to. where we get to. with them. ouhghhh boy.

i already talked abt this pretty in depth in the other post but trickster appears, kills clarence in front of mal, and it just BREAKS something fundamental in him. once the trickster throws him out of the city i think the prt has to drag him away kicking and screaming because theres NO way he would willingly walk away from that (ESPECIALLY because... clarence's body is still there. he never got a proper funeral or burial or anything hes just.... there on the street or on the roof of a building like hes nothing). they probably put him in some kind of custody which he inevitably breaks out of and goes out on his own. i think he tries to go back to the city only to find the walls already in place and no way to get in without fighting a LOT of soldiers and ripping through a lot of anti-cape measures. which he is emotionally willing to do, but hes not stupid. he knows he needs backup. so he seeks out the worlds most dangerous most awful notorious capes ever. and thats how he ends up with the slaughterhouse 9! his eventual goal with them is to manipulate them into helping him get back into amity and kill the trickster. which is OBVIOUSLY not how things turn out, but thats his motivation at least.

when wraith ends up in the public eye with the new haven wards and his costume is sooooo so eerily close to the whisperer, mal kind of Leaves the s9 for a bit? hes still a member and everything, he doesnt actively quit or betray them or anything bc thats like asking to get killed, but he stops travelling with them in order to. whats the nicest way i can say this. research? the wards. specifically wraith. that little unhinged piece of his mind that snapped when clarence was killed gives him this horrible idea that wraith is just.. clarence reincarnated. its probably been close to 20ish years since the amity incident at this point, so the timing even lines up close enough for him to be convinced. so that starts his weird obsession with william, which eventually involves him nominating william as a potential candidate to join the s9 in the trials (william has a Complex about this) and other fucked up things like the tide fridge (<< our loving name for when mal kidnaps tide and keeps him in jars or whatever in the spirit world in canon etc)

hes my favorite fucked up little guy!!!!!!! i hate him so much i want to hit him with hammers but also ive had a specific stained glass art piece depicting the biblical purgatory that i really want to draw as him and clarence so like. take that as you will. im obsessed with them i think abt them so much even though clarence has like no bearing on the actual plot of nhw since the whole "william is the next whisperer" thing is nonexistent. i got distracted writing this a FEW times so i maybe forgot some things so if theres anything else u want to know about them... hmu. i love 2 talk abt them so much <3

[literaphobe]

favorite fics for mlb? any ship :> (if u have the time to compile some recs, tysm)

FINE here’s a few. I’m reccing a few things that made me feel crazy when I read them. You’ve finally worn me down….. don’t get mad if uve already read them okay :(

a waste of good bed sheets by icingsugar

in this one, ladynoir are fwb but in that VERY careful way where ladybug gets hyper aware when he touches her outside of bed and it makes her flinch and it makes him Stop and one day when she realizes she IS MADLY IN LOVE WITH HIM and wants to kiss him all the time and hug him a lot. He doesn’t believe her. killed me. sorry for describing it in such a spoilery way but I didn’t say I was a GOOD fic reccer

what’s written in the stars by agrestenoir

i’ve never read the time traveler’s wife. this is based on that book and it’s epic!! i love jumping back and forth between like. timelines…? it’s very cool and epic to me. like some cursed soulmates link where it feels like they can never REALLY be together but also they are Dot Dot Dot

Eating (nothing but) Affection by crownedcrusader

eating disorder tw!! but ya this is about attention eating. kitty can’t eat unless someone’s watching… it was just so :((((( but also so cute. ladybug giving chat stuff to eat bc she’s so worried about him but not realizing that he needed HER TO BE THERE to eat killed me

supercut by LNC

ok ik it’s prob crazy and stupid to rec a fic that’s like got a gazillion kudos already. also i think this is post reveal? i genuinely am not sure. every time I reread this i get some sort of amnesia after where i just cannot tell u exactly what it’s about just that i go WOOOOOO!!! YIPPEEEEEE!!!! once im done. and since ur coming to ME out of all people for fic recs (YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN IM JUST LIKE REALLY BAD AT THIS I WILL TRY AND GET BETTER FOR U GUYS THO) im gonna have to assume ur some virgin to this fandom and instead of going to the hot fandom chads with experience u come knocking on the door of someone who’s had sex once. ok terrible analogy also im really sorry for saying anything im saying in conjunction to a really good one shot

comfort food by Reiaji

marinette teaches adrien how to cook and gives him chinese food and baked goods to try!! Reiaji is i think very evidently awesome and most people know that but this meant a lot to me as a chinese person :) also i will admit i have SLIGHT beef w what marinette cooked for her simple dinner. i get that it was simple but i just think dougan and baicai (bokchoy) is a bit mid. SORRY ik it’s not the point. egg drop soup and egg tarts are epic tho.

OKIE that’s it for today!! i have more but i will save those for when i get more fic rec requests. thank u anon for trusting my fic taste buds 🩷

[italicized-oh]

📓!!!

hiiiii sorry this took me so long to get to! i had some Irrational Fear to deal with. but i kicked its ass so we're back, baby

all right. look. we all know i have religious trauma. and so a Very large part of me wants to go back to make me an instrument (the v distorted reality fucked up timescape flashback experience jace has post-death and/or post-shatterstar). and i probably will if anyone else wants to read it lol. but!

as far as something i haven't written yet but have just been noodling on. i'm v v curious about what an amnesia fic would entail for any combo of zarajaceporter (or if i'm gonna janelle-bait then. any clone combo too). like we've done a lot of tropes so far and i am in Absolute Undying Love with every single one of them. but unless i've missed it i think it would be v v fun (and also evil) of me to write either porter or jace losing their memories post-fhjy finale. the whole coming back wrong thing, but like. coming back wrong 2: electric boogaloo. oops no memories of the One Meaningful Event that tied us together. of the years of devotion and manipulation and salvific fantasies and. well. scorching hot sex.

idk who it would be worse for in which role, but here's some initial thoughts below.

if it's porter who comes back w oops no memories. then jace is all alone w his trauma (unless zara's there but even then. she wasn't ensared by porter like jace was). like. he's carrying the weight of knowing porter, knowing porter-rage-god, and knowing this. not shell bc it's still v much porter. but it's somehow not the same porter as before bc this one knows something is missing. and lives with a hollowness inside him that makes him so, so fucking angry (at ankarna, funnily enough. some things never change). and he's so deeply in love with jace all over again, but jace has decided that This Time he won't fall into bed/love w porter again.

if it's jace, though. ohhhh boy. i almost feel ashamed of how brutally naive he would be all over again. if you're a jaceclone enjoyer, think j2's whole deal. like. do we watch him fall for porter all over again? does this jace inherently distrust porter for some reason unknown to him? does this jace know why porter looks at jace like porter's expecting jace to stab him or mind sliver him at any moment? does this jace even care? like, idk, it might actually be good in a twisted kind of way, because porter gets a do over and jace doesn't have to have literally been consumed and used up by a rage monster. hmmm. i don't think jace is angry, though. i think he's secretly relieved, because context clues and the haunted look in porter's eyes are plenty. he doesn't need to remember (bc in my heart and my headcanons jace is at his core a coward. not in a really derogatory way, just in a. that man has no spine. only under the Most Extreme circumstance will he stand up to someone.)

anyways tl;dr: amnesia fic featuring so, so much pining, theorizing about what it means to come back wrong but at least you came back, and the question of whether it's better to remember or not remember the years of your life when your mind and body were not your own. oops now we're into my trauma personally so im gonna end it here. hope this entertains! <3

[timothylawrence]

OKAY.. Ace Attorney Justice for All ep 1-2 (mostly 2) review :)

-okay starting off easy i loved loved loved loved the amnesia plot sorry it was so funny to me. like i laughed out loud. oh phoenix. oh phoenix. oh also one of my fav twists so far has been the british car. that shit was so good. i said WAITTTT !!!!! ALSO ALSO SORRY HIM CALLING PEARL PERALS IS SO CUTEEEEE

-okay sorry i got too excited MAAAAAAYYYYAAAAAA MAYAAAAAAAA. was i probably too dramatic crying over her leaving knowing full well she was a reoccurring character. probably. do i feel a little embarrassed. maybe. WHO CARES SHESSS BACKKKK....!!!this review is mostly about her and im not too sorry. ive said it before she is the soul of this game. truly. she really is. the love she has for pheenie and vice versa... like idk. the game feels complete when she's here. her commentary. her jokes. her interactions. yeah.

-moving on to maya 2.0 CAN THEY STOP TRAUMATIZING HERRR!?!??! i will say i love her writing i love how 3d she feels and i love love her struggles and how realistic they are. shes a kid but shes meant to be a master but she's all alone. no mom no older sister and now no aunt?? like what the fuck. she deserves the world.

-^super fucked up and onto my next point. phoenix being so worried and scared for her that he broke down a huge heavy door on his own. dude . he loves her so much. so much. he literally yells at her when she talks about how doomed she is. he loves her. what the fuck. thats his little sister. i genuinely am the happiest when they're on screen together. pheeny i just need you to get a tad more into your emotional side and give her a hug for me or something i beg.

-sorry one last thing.

I fucking cried my eyes out dude. i fucking sobbed. what the fuck. when the reveal that the nice smell was her sister's clothes??? like are you fucking kidding me. are you serious. i teared up writing this review im not even ashamed i love how the heart of this game is siblings. but especially these two. i know some ppl might feel that mia is a cop out in cases but idc. the whole story is rooted in her. the whole reason we're even here!!!!

-okay. the part you guys (and I) have all been waiting for. oohhhh franziskaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! First impressions, i love her design. i love the way she talks. AND SHES EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD??? HELLO?? THATS A BABY??? sorry i missed von karma and she emulated him a lot so that was fun to.

-well it was fun for three seconds and then um . then i got really sad. you're telling me that dude was her dad?? we saw how fucked up miles got just by being his mentor. can you imagine living under that man's roof? him being your blood? oh my god. if you look at her for too long you begin to just feel fucking sad. like there's a seeping sadness cracking through her perfect mannerisms.

okay. okay. okay. so you're telling me when she realizes she's been caught, she doesn't look angry nor caught off guard like Miles or livid like her dad. she looks fucking scared and concerned? hello? can anyone hear me? hello? "i am perfect I am Franziska" yeah guys we gotta die. oh my god. i am begging that she gets her solo episode like miles did. because i need to dissect her more. that last frame makes me wanna die.

-EDIT*** i forgot this part. but as a woman in a legal setting/office setting her constantly being called sir is such an emulation of my fucking life dude. not being taken seriously and having to go to my male colleagues and/or boss to get clients to take me seriously. ugh. im pissed off for her. and myself. ugh. a good telling of misogyny and what its like to be a woman in settings like this.

-oh my god i got to the end of this review and forgot to mention MILES IS FUCKING DEAD??? LMFAO? sorry for #beingawomanlover. but also um. i dont think a dead guy can have a spin off game so i have a decent hunch (i know) hes probably coming back but the fact i said go take a vacation and he decides to fake his death... girl.... this gay drama is out of hand. also wait i need to add i know i didn't like miles at first and people got the impression i dont like him at all but thats not true!!! i genuinely do like him!!

-okay this is my longest review yet but who cares. i need you people to know im cranking out 7-10 hours on this game a day there's actually something wrong with me. oh and once again no spoilers pleaseee i have zero spoilers moving forward ^^ okay bye bye

[karenchasity]

I’m going to be honest, I still am very not knowledgeable on ICTD, but i am trying! <- guy who is literal months late and is bad at reading large chunks of text /lh

BUT. i know it is about the lords and therefor they are the main fellas [if only plot elements], so can i ask about them? :]

-Doc

im so sorry this will definitely be large blocks of text :(

it is totally about the lords!!! outside of lautskity, they are the main characters. they show up constantly, in almost every chapter, and they influence everything about the story!

- wiggly is the violent one. he struggles to keep his mortals alive, solely based on the fact that he wants to hurt people. he wants to watch them writhe. his influences are incredibly similar to webbys- fainting, visions, arm, rib and shoulder pain. his influence is weaker than hers, as he spreads it thinner, but its still incredibly distressing

- tinky is the scariest. he doesnt plan, doesnt wait, doesnt hesitate, doesnt go lightly. he is the most aggressive, the meanest of the siblings. next to webby, he's the cruelest. his influence ranges from time blindness to amnesia to brain fog. it presents similar to adhd a lot of the time, though medication does nothing for it. its early onset, and entirely unalterable.

- pokey is the quietest. his influence is slow, gentle and feels natural. hearing loss either very early in life or much much later, when it could be happening to anyone. his joint pain is light, but it spreads like a wildfire.

- blinky is the kindest. for their standards, anyway. he chooses his favorite toys and refuses to hurt them, treating many of them much like a protege. his influence is also the kindest, simply loss or gain of sight, though it's still distressing to experience, as it happens very quickly. when he finds a mortal he doesnt like, he becomes sadistic. we rarely see this side of him in the mainfic, though it's incredibly prevalent in side stories like alice woodwards and jeri browns.

- nibbly is the hungriest, of course. he's quick to try to claim as many mortals as he can as soon as he can- he loves seeing them grow and tasting them bit by bit every time they enter his parts of the island. the entire monroe family was his originally- he was just fought when he tried to take the boys. he loves keeping people. his influence is painful- obscene hunger for inedible or morally reprehensible things, like human flesh or rotten food. nothing cures this hunger other than time or giving into the craving. some dont have the ability to wait out their clock.

- webby is the calculated one. she's not quick to jump to violence, but she doesnt hesitate to when she feels it necessary. she chooses her humans very carefully- either the kindest ones or the worst ones. i.e. hannah vs max. her influence, when she places it upon someone, is life altering. between visions, back and rib pain and constant fainting, it's horrible to go through. she doesnt usually place it on people. she feels mortals are undeserving. it didnt stop her from giving it to hannah, though. i cant tell you everything about her though. thats major spoilers <3

eventually, a full list of characters and their patron/alignment will get released. today is Not that day though

[rin-and-jade]

Im so happy to see you taking a break and I hope the break is very nice!

I understand there might be a delay in responses but thats okay, please take your time your health is more important !!

Be prepared for a huge wall of text so sorry in advance-

But, i have a few things im just itching to ask gahhh

Firstly, we originally believed we had little to no amnesia (believing osdd-1b) BUT since then we realised the amnesia is so much heavier than we realised, we figured bc we could recall general events and it was calm in a sense (we saw majority of the time when people experience amnesia its distressing and the loss of all memory) but, the memories are not memorying, so now we are assuming just DID, and that brings me to the second part...

fragments and subsystems, so, idk how valid this is (mostly bc my assumptions are based off vibes/gut instinct) but im fairly sure a subsystem occurred a few months back from a split where that alter just disappeared, which is unusual from what we have documented from the past 1.5 years (most splits the alter detaches from the stressor and those stressors mould a new alter to deal with it in a sense-) so from the recent odd split i believe a subsys was created as such? i have no clue except the vibes, in which it feels like a bunch of fragments in a sense? like i believe ive been fronting for months on my own for now, but there are some parts of my days where i just blank anything that happened, so im curious if there is-

and its not the only time as such where we have had this dreaded gut feeling there were more parts that might be dormant or even very separate, or even parts we dont even notice due to the nature of disorder being a whole lot of forgetting and the disorder pretending to not be the disorder and stuff ;-;

im so sorry for the huge rambles, if you have any advice or explanations or even resources i can read through to draw my own conclusions that would be so cool, bc as of right now im so scared to say this as i feel like im actually faking it for attention and theres no way i was traumatised enough for this and yadayada

tldr: should i trust my 'gut instincts' about system related information, or is my brain being silly?

I don't see the point on invalidating instincts, they're subconscious pattern detectors, so if you feel off, you bet it IS off. Though it's healthy to back it up with evidence preferably, and if there's no evidence yet, then you prowl like a predator in attempt to search for the truth scroll... cough--with a help from me whenever you need it, i mean im not going anywhere.

Also, you can check wether you have did or osdd by jotting down logs or patterns wether: you're memorying more or memorying less, the things you forgot, how often do you find yourself black/greying out, how distinct your personalities are, and wether you can easily remember other part's memories or able to grasp another facet of yourself (if you do not, or is really hard too, im sure this is 'did' from first impression)

--

Right, and for the advices, further explanations, or even resources are all answered by my previous edu posts where its compiled in the #jeducates tag,, i'd love you to just swim in it and process all my information like a sponge.. and come back the second time with more specific questions if you still need confirmation or assurances.

Let me know how it went, i'll be waiting for ya's update!

- c