#im so sick of people asking me when im gonna get a partner

[sproutmoie]

Comic under the cut *<*

[icarusredwings]

Was asked what Wade thinks about his skin after his powers and cancer are taken away. If he would cover up still even when it's hot. And I would like to say yes. He automatically does it as muscle memory.

Logan: Why are you covered up? Its july

Wade: babe you know how people think about me. I dont wanna scare the kids

Logan: .... Wade you are quite literally the third hottest guy in our apartment complex..

Wade wont let logan place himself lower then him EVER so he always has to say hes at least the second, but also, this one guy down the hall is a body builder husband and both logan and wade flirt with him sometimes. Its insane.

"LOGAN!! Mr. Plesetski is taking out the trash again!!"

"Really? Again?.. damn..."

*both of them AND puppins at the window*

Al: yall are some freaks..

Harold and Sheryl Plesetski are their neighbors down the hall. Real nice people.

Honestly this is the only man that wade is allowed to flirt with freely without his face getting beat in.

He just kinda rolls his eyes amused because its nice to see wade happy and giddy. Besides. Mr. Plesetski is one of the only people that makes wade feel good about how he looks, he means it as a innocent compliment but wade takes it as flirting.

Wade, in the hall: *pretends to struggle carrying in groceries*

Logan: ? What are you-

Wade: SHH- Oh Mr. Plesetski! Could you please help me? I did chemo today so..

Mr. Plesetski: Hm? Oh yes of course! Your appartments 204 right?

Wade: Yes it is! Thank you so much! Soooo... what are you doing this weekend?

Mr. Plesetski: Oh, no, thank you for asking. Im taking Sheryl mini golfing and then to the lobster shack. You?

Wade: *drooling*

Logan: *nudges him* Hes gonna be sleeping. A lot.

Mr. Plesetski: From the chemo? Im so sorry. You know- Sheryl could knit you a hat if youd like. I know you probably get cold easily. My mother did when she had her breast cancer.

Wade: Uh huh *his ass is not litsening*

Logan: *rolls his eyes smirking and shaking his head* wow

Sometimes Wade still gets jealous if Logan is a bit too interested, tho because Wade thinks compared to Harold. He's like a 0, and he's a 100

Logan: *lingering after 'bumping' into him* Hey so.. Do you know any good gyms around here? Cause.. obviously, you weren't born like that

Mr. Plesetski: *laughs* I actually go to the one over on the corner of 6th. You're free to join me sometime. I know how hard it can be to find a good routine at this age.

Logan: hah.. yeaah... this age.. you're like. What? 35?

Mr. Plesetski: Ha! Close! Im 53.

Logan: damn-

Mr. Plesetski: Excuse me?

Logan: I-i mean.. Im *panics* 62

Mr. Plesetski: *pats his back* Well id say you look pretty good for 62. Alright. Suppose I should get back. It's meatloaf night.

Logan, blushing: H-heh... yeah..

Logan, later: Hey wade? Have you seen my shorts?

Wade, crossing his arms on the couch: Why dont you ask Mr. Plesetski!?

Logan: Oh come on! It's not a big deal!

And then.. you have Carla Boothe...

"Hey Howlie have you- DAMN, Well let me put on my glasses to have a look at ya. God your gorgeous! Winston come look at this ass! It's bigger then yours!"

And unironically, this makes Mr. Plesetski a little uncomfortable but respects her enough not to shoo her away as she pinches his cheek and tells him how cute he is. "Uhhh.. thanks? I-i think Sher is calling.."

"Mh mh mmh. Althea dear you have no clue what youre missing." She tells her partner, who rolls her eyes. "Yall are some sick fucking teases. I hope you know that..."

Hell. Even Puppins likes him, always trying to mark him as hers by peeing on his foot. Or maybe it's because she dislikes her papa flirting with him and not logan. Who knows. Shes a weird dog.

"Whats Mr. Plesetski look like?" You may be asking.

Imagine Hugh jackman had a baby, and the baby daddy is between Pedro Pascal and Oscar Issac.

That is Mr. Plesetski.

[ikigaisvt]

quiet love

in which your boyfriend vernon likes showing his love for you in a quiet way.

pairing: vernon x f!reader words count: 2k content: childhood bestfriends to lovers, fluff, domestic warnings: so soft but very corny, contains pretty common prompts imo, vernon's love language is not words of affirmation lol, implied that kids are mean to vernon, mention of driving, drinking, loss and exes, reader is sick at one point (the flu), a lot of food/eating talk, they are so healthy youre gonna throw up, soooo much physical affection they make me SICK (holding hands, kissing, playing with each other's hairs, hugging etc), babe/baby petnames note: omg im alive?!?!? hiii!! it's been so long since i posted a fic! this one is a birthday gift for the loml @vcrnons <3 happy birthday, u know it all already but don't forget i love u sm!!! i hope you enjoy this childhoodbff!vernon (it's ur thing) who's very very in love but very very shy to say it. hope anyone else who sees this fic enjoy too! don't forget to interact with this if u liked it, rbs are very very very appreciated! thank u<3 (also this was proofread by tired me so if there is any mistakes, ignore it pls thanks <3)

Vernon has always been a man of a few words; when you first met him in elementary school, he was the quiet boy and nothing could get him to speak apart from spinning tops and his favorite cartoons. Still, you decided to befriend that calm boy – at the time, people used to think you were only being nice but deep down you knew: you were making a friend for life.

Going through all of the different steps of childhood and teenage hood with Vernon by your side was an experience – you raised hell together, driving your parents crazy. But it was also having a best friend to experience each other’s every first times: first partners, first time driving, first time getting drunk but also first breakup, first bad haircut and first loss. You have seen each other through everything. No, you have watched over each other through everything; wherever you were, Vernon was standing two steps back, making sure you were always safe. And wherever he was, you were always standing two steps back, making sure he was always loved.

And that’s how you both fell in love. It was slow and secure; falling in love with Vernon was never complicated or painful. It was how things dropped into place and none of you ever denied it; at the time you knew you were meant to be – maybe you always did. And so, you let yourself fall into each other’s arms, a safe place, full of quiet love.

You were 24 years old when Vernon first wanted to tell you he loved you; yet, he didn’t have the courage to fess up. Having spent his whole life showing his love through actions, he had a hard time saying it out loud. After a nice date to the cinema and the restaurant, he drove you back home, small talk and look exchanged during the trip. As soon as he puts the car in park, he reaches out to hold your hand, his thumb drawing circles.

“Had a nice time tonight?” he asks.

“Of course I did,” you answer, a blush creeping on your cheeks, “You know I always do with you,” you add, reaching out to cup his cheek.

“You need to go, you have an early day tomorrow,” he tells you, kissing your palm.

“Yeah, I’m going,” you say as you reach down for your bag and open the door, “Let me know when you’re home, okay?”

“Of course,” he says as he holds your face between his hand, “You do the same,” he adds against your lips before kissing you softly.

“It’s literally two steps away, I’m already home,” you chuckle as you exit the car.

“Won’t leave until I get the text, babe,” he smiles as he leans over the center console to look at you.

You roll your eyes sarcastically at him but still, your lips go up into a smile as your cheeks reddens from the way he so apologetically loves and cares for you. This boy would do anything to make sure you see how much he adores you. So, you wave him goodbye and it’s only when you close your front door and his phone buzzes with an i’m home :) drive safe, text me xx that you hear him drive off.

The second time he almost confessed to loving you was when you were 25. You had just gotten over an awful flu that got you bed ridden for days, unable to go on with your schedule as you normally would. You were sleeping the sickness off for hours on end, only waking up when Vernon knocked on your door to check up on you. Honestly, he knew it was only the flu, but he was so scared for you; in his eyes, you always appeared as the strongest women on earth so seeing you so weak and tired pulled at his heartstrings. He thought about confessing his undying love as you were blowing your nose – maybe it will magically heal her, he thought one night. But deep down he knew you needed someone to help you out physically and so, he did. He had taken such good care of you; he kept your home clean, did the laundry and helped you out to the shower if needed. He had thought about doing the cooking but he knew his poor skills wouldn’t get you to eat at all. So, even if you couldn’t finish your plates, he had ordered your favorite meals all week, even if he didn’t really like some of those.

It's been a few days since you last had a fever, so even if you were still blowing your nose and coughing a little bit, you could still get out of bed and hang out with Vernon. You two decided to have an at-home date, ordering your favorite meals and watching the show you recently started together. Since you were less sick you could finally finish your plate and eat more than usual; even after finishing your food, your stomach was still grumbling.

“I’m still hungry,” you whisper to yourself, not thinking Vernon would hear you.

“Yeah?” he asks, still looking at the TV as he holds a spoon full of food in the air, “Want a bite?” he says as he looks at you.

“Is that okay?” you ask, not wanting to take away his favorite food. Even when you were sick, you saw how Vernon only ordered your favorite foods – he deserved to have every bite of his favorite dish.

“Of course it is!” he smiles at you, extending his spoon in front of you, “You like it?” he asks, waiting for your nods of approval.

You nod enthusiastically, giving him a thumbs up with a smile, “That’s so good!” you exclaim before Vernon reaches for your plate. You look at him, wondering what he is up to before you see him fill your empty plate with more than half of his meal, “No, no, no,” you say, trying to reach for it as Vernon puts it out of reach from you.

“You need to eat, babe,” he says as he puts the dish on your lap, “Go on,” he smiles, patting your head before turning his attention back to his almost finished meal and the tv.

You smile down, cheeks red from your boyfriend’s attention. You notice how he gave you the tastier part of his dish – meat, veggies and a lot of gravy with a good amount of rice – and he kept most of the rice and only a piece of meat for himself. You start to eat happily, re-adjusting your position on the sofa to be closer to him. It might have been a year and a half since you started dating with no I love you’s said, but you know this is how he shows he loves you. And that is enough for you – it will always be.

It's now been two years since you started dating Vernon; you’re 26 years old, living with your boyfriend, your two cats and waking up every day with the love of your life next to you. Life is beautiful and you could not ask for more. To celebrate your anniversary with Vernon, you planned a trip to your hometown - only a 1 hour-drive from home – so you can have your date where you first kissed: at the cinema. If someone told Vernon he would one day ignore a movie to give his attention to a human being, he would have laughed at their face. But here he is. Countless of movies and shows watched with you right there, next to him, and yet you always steal his gaze away from the screen. You are just so beautiful, he thinks to himself. And when he sees you, laughing at a stupid joke from a character, he smiles with you. Not because the joke is funny, no, but because he cannot watch you without his heart filling up and his feelings pouring out onto his lips. He knew since he woke up that day, on your 2 years anniversary, that he would say it. It had been on the tip of his tongue since the first time he saw you in elementary school, smiling at everyone and saving bugs, but he always held it back. He thought it would be too soon, too fast, too much – but how can love ever be those things? he realized recently. He had said I love you a thousand times already through his actions, he had said he loved you out loud to his friends, his family, his cats. He thought now was the time you should hear it. So, all day, his head was in the clouds, thinking how to bring this up, how to say I’m in love with you to his soulmate. It happens when you pull him into your apartment at 1 am, your anniversary already over. You both get rid of your shoes, the tiredness of the day finally falling on your shoulders, before you pull him into you for a hug. Your arms stay at his waist, his heart going thump, thump, thump against yours as his cheek rest on the crown of your head.

“Gonna let you go to sleep,” you mumble against his shirt before letting him go, “I’m gonna shower.”

“Hey- babe,” he says softly to get your attention, his hand wrapping around your wrist, “need to tell you something,” he tells you as you’re pulled back against his chest, hands on his front as one of his rest on your waist, the other one covering your cheek.

“Everything’s okay?” you ask, rubbing circle on the fabric of his shirt.

“Yeah, everything’s good,” he whispers, his eyes going down to look at your lips and up again, “You’re pretty,” he speaks under his breath, a blush making its way on your cheeks – and his.

“Thank you,” you smile as you reach for his neck, pulling him down for a kiss, “You’re not so bad yourself,” you whisper against his lips.

He holds onto your cheeks, your foreheads resting against each other, “I love you,” he murmurs so low you think you made it up but as you open your eyes and see tears in his own, you know this is nothing but real life.

“Oh,” you gasp softly, taken aback, “I love you too,” you say, smiling up at the love of your life.

“I know this was long overdue and I’m sorry it took me so long-“ he starts to babble, uneasiness bubbling in his chest before you cut him off with a kiss.

“It’s okay,” you whisper, playing with the hair at his nape, “To me, you’ve said it a thousand times,” you reassure him as he blushes, chuckling softly at how you always find the right words for him, “But a thousand more wouldn’t hurt,” you tease slightly, making him snort.

“I love you,” he repeats, his arms wrapping around your shoulders as yours find a resting place at his waist, rubbing his back over his shirt.

“Again,” you say with a smile in your voice before kissing his chest in an I love you too.

“I love you,” he says against your hair, his hands making its way under the straps of your dress.

“Again,” you ask him, never getting enough of these words flowing out of his lips.

“I love you,” he whispers against the shell of your ear, leaving a kiss behind, “so much.”

“I’ll never get tired of hearing this,” you whisper, your hands meeting the end of his shirt, “I love you,” you say as you touch his bare back.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” he says like a mantra, “I’d unlearn any other words so all you could hear is my love for you,” he whispers, his eyes meeting yours, before your lips collide – just like your worlds did so many years ago.

You’ve always found reassurance in this quiet love you and Vernon were giving each other – but maybe you liked your love being a little louder sometimes.

thank u for reading! hope you enjoyed hehe <3

[starcharmed]

"Nothing's New"

In which your partner is never going to pay attention to you, because they’re too focused on their dead lover

Bell’s notes: “writer bell goes too far with this fic-” im /j no ones gonna say that, angst powers pls work tho, like im asdlkfjawel;fjsd;jf;lska, i cant write dude, let me like, plan this out in my head before writing nonsense, LIKE BRO, feral over angst LORD, 100k likes and you get part 2 /jjjj, growling i love angst, MWHAHAHA, sorry ely, yuka, mhie, snob, and zee if you read this 😔😔😔, i listened to “IT Girl” while writing this 😋, got carried away with Ayato’s part oopsies, i believe Guizhong for the ladies but whatever 😔😔😔, cut out Wanderer & Childe in the end because i’m TIRED, not proofread

Story details: Ayato lowkey a bitch, scratch that highkey, reader has self-doubt, Neuvilette doesn’t mean to be mean he just ISSS, GUIZHONG DID NOTHING STOP MAKING HER THE ONE IN BLAME IN THESE ZHONGLI SCENARIOS, oh and I couldn’t be bothered with Xiao’s part like a quarter through he’s such a flexible yet straight character, it’s the way you can tell when I got lazy with each part, chance Xiao & Zhongli are gonna be ooc as i’ve never written anything but short headcanons for them before

Characters & Triggers: Ayato, Neuvilette, Xiao, & Zhongli;  reader has self-doubt, mention of death, mention of martial neglect

Reader details: female reader in Ayato’s part is explicit. female reader in Neuvilette’s part can be interpreted with the way you read it. the other parts, however, shouldn’t have a specified reader type. reader’s personality, race/ethnicity, height, physical descriptions, or anything of the sort is not mentioned. if anything is let me know and i’ll edit it. 

Ayato: No surprise the Yashiro Commissioner doesn’t pay attention to his new wife, the one that he didn’t marry first. You knew that he didn’t love you, and most likely never would because you were, in fact, the second pick. Actually, it was probably in the hundreds based on the amount of marriage arrangement offers Ayato had gotten considering he was one of the biggest figures in Inazuma. It didn’t matter, but he most likely picked you because your clan was a small one to put it lightly, so he most likely chose it, and you, because it wouldn’t be a hassle with the press. But of course, he would choose the person and clan that seemed, “easy”. It hurt seeing some of the people’s sympathetic stares, such as Ayaka’s, Thoma’s, and a few of the older women working in the estate. You got used to the lack of greeting from Ayato when he got off work, the lack of warmth beside you at night. You found it hilarious, although you were hysteric at the time as you had just found out that Ayato was off that day and neglected to see you, that he never, ever laid down in the same bed as you. It doesn’t matter no matter how hard you work around the estate, how long you sit up doing his work, which you soon quit once he yelled at you like a homeless dog, or even the distinct flower you made out of one of Ayato’s favorite sweets that he ignored. Not even a glance at your general direction, either. After a while, you decided to do some digging on his past wife, only to find out that she was in fact near perfect. Perfect reputation, perfect everything, to put it shortly. Shortly after asking Ayaka what happened to her, by pulling the sad, guilty wife card, you found out she was a victim of an assassination attempt that turned into a success. Of course, Ayato and his perfect wife would only be torn apart by death. It was poetic, and it made you sick. So what were you to do but endure the slow torture that you and Ayato’s marriage was? After all, nothing you could do could change how he felt about you. 

Neuvillette: The famous hydro dragon, at least to those who knew his ‘secret’. His past lover, unfortunately, died before him, no doubt to his immortality. Of course, you would soon die, maybe in a few decades but, hey, it wasn’t like he would miss you. You could only wait awake at night as Neuvillette went to fix himself his own meal, despite you staying up to cook him one and await for his return from work. It’s not that was the only time he never paid attention to you, after all the man had most likely been grieving his wife for centuries at this point in time. So what were you to do besides stay and watch this man be emotionally constipated around you? Why did he even marry you in the first place, then? It couldn’t be because his past wife resembled you, and it certainly wasn’t because you both acted the same. Was it because he needed someone to cling to? I mean, you weren’t exactly someone who seemed to not fit the criteria of a compassionate co-worker who would comfort Neuvillette in his times of distress. Did Neuvilette only come to you because you were his way of grieving? It would make partial sense, to cling to the nearest piece of comfort to help with the pain of loss. It made you feel like nothing but an object meant for his emotional wants, but in reality, that’s all you ever are and will ever be to him. 

Xiao: The famous adeptus long ago, had someone close to him. Shame they fell to waste during the archon wars, along with the other adepti. It was no surprise that everyone familiar with Liyue stories knew about the two of them together, which unfortunately included you. It didn’t pain you that much until your oh-so-loveable boyfriend got distracted by two kids playing with a Xiao lantern and one of her. After that, it only devolved into more. The lack of visits to your room in the inn, the lack of responses whenever you left your little notes for him near your meet-up place, and the extreme lack of thank-you-notes whenever you left Xiao almond tofu. It didn’t matter that you started to skip and completely ignore doing all of these things just to see if he would notice because the adeptus failed to appear in your room just to check in to see if you were okay. This behavior was unlike him, at least in the sense of him completely ignoring you. The only answer you could think of, that logically made sense, of course, was that he was reminded of his past loved one because of the run-in with the lanterns you two had while out in Liyue. So in terms, he seemed to disconnect with you because of the memories of his past significant other? You knew the adepti didn’t die peacefully, you could tell that much from the stories, so it wouldn’t be surprising if that also applied to Xiao’s past lover. There was nothing you could do about it though, because if you knew Xiao, he wouldn’t talk about her to you nor push her aside for you.

Zhongli: Guizhong. Of course, you were familiar with the name, everyone in Liyue was. Everyone might be a stretch considering the visitors and children, but the point’s been made. Morax and Guizhong were close. Close in a sense of possibly having relationship affairs but that was only explicit to you because of the way your lover would glace at glaze lilies. You couldn’t call him your lover, could you? Not with the way he would hum to the glaze lilies, the way his eyes would also drift away from you whenever you talked as you took strolls through Guilu Plains, and the way he would opt to tell stories of specific tales of his time as Morax, ones that included Guizhong in some way. It got to the point where you had to make up tasks that you had to do daily just to get away from the walks you two took, not to hear the different-yet-similar stories of Morax and totally not Guizhong. It was childish of you to be doing so, you had yourself convinced, as you couldn’t blame Guizhong for any of it. She had no part of this besides well, besides being your number one stressor for the past few weeks. It was tiring yet somehow for the sake of not wanting a glare or side-eye from Zhongli about his stories, which you never thought you’d get that tired of hearing, you kept your mouth shut, despite how hard it was. You knew it would only take so much more, though, before you said something about it. 

[prodshima]

love languages (two) 𖤐

warnings: signs of mental instability (?), idk but that's about it, it's all just fluff <3 tell me if i missed anything :)

characters: kuroo & hajime

notes: in honor of me turning seventeen today, here is the part two of love languages! <3 i hope im not too rusty crusty haha :D!

-> click here for: [ part one ]

kuroo tetsuro - acts of service

kuroo tetsuro is a man who never fails to reach the book men level of standard.

you think that maybe he’s not actually real and some kind of illusion, because how could be a man be so perfect?

well, apparently he is and you must’ve saved multiple planets because for whatever reason— he’s your boyfriend in this universe.

—

“baby? i brought you your favorite coffee and some pastries” the said man says as he pushes the bedroom door open

you quickly turn around to the sweet voice of your boyfriend, he’s wearing the biggest grin on his face that reciprocates yours while holding up your favorite coffee in his hand and bread on the other

just like a child when they’re given their favorite stash of candy.

“matcha latte?” you scramble away from your where you’re sat in to where he is, kicking away the scattered tissue boxes and paper bags

kuroo chuckles, pecking your forehead lightly “mhm, you got it, baby. you feeling better now?”

you nod, “uh uh, i’m doing okay now, just doing my physics assignments to catch up for tomorrow and i still have some cleaning to do… i think im gonna get sick again if i don’t”

sounds of laughter fills up the room as the both of you glance around the room, looking at each other again with a scrunch

“i’ll help you clean up and don’t overwork yourself, okay? don’t wanna see my baby getting sick again” kuroo laughs as he pinches your cheek before moving to sit on your bed, reaching into his bag

“oh and here’s your physics and maths notes, baby, i figured i could use my vacants to attend a couple of your missed classes” sounds of rustling follows as he hands you neatly highlighted papers

your mouth drops open in shock

just the thought that your boyfriend chose to spend his free time writing notes for his sick partner and listened to professors ramble for god knows how long instead of enjoying his once-in-a-lifetime rest hours

kuroo knows how much you struggle with these classes, not to mention that you’ve missed a couple days because of how sick you got.

“god, you didn’t have to do all that but thank you so much, tetsu, i love you a lot” you snake your hands around his neck to pull him down, kissing his lips

“well i got my reward, didn’t i?”

he smirks

sneaky little shit.

iwaizumi hajime - words of affirmation

it’s one of those days again.

those days where your ugly thoughts are winning over you and swallowing you whole, leaving you in a state of insecurity about yourself and your relationship with other people

it’s crazy how doubt can take over those positive thoughts you’ve tried to build over the months, only for it to be ruined by some evil monster inside your head that’s so against seeing you happy— there’s only so much you can do and you hate to think that it has succeeded.

but then iwaizumi hajime is always there to protect you.

he becomes your personal shield from all those monsters with just his words, his words that have seems to always save you from getting those thoughts into your head

-

“darling, is there something wrong?” hajime asks, his hand coming up to caress your cheek, worry evident on his face

how come he always knows even when you don’t say anything?

you wonder how, when it’s actually the silence that concerns him, he knows that you love making small talks with him just as he loves hearing your voice when you ramble about your day

it has become a part of your routine at this point, whether it's about your annoying professors, how you almost tripped over something, and even just about a cute dog you saw for two seconds on the street

and he's also powerhouse setter for god's sake, he's always perceptive and is quick when it comes to body languages and whatever happens around him

“it’s nothing, haj, i'm fine. just a little bit tired from school.” you whisper as you tiptoe to give him a kiss but instead, a gasp is forced out of you as he carries you bridal style into to the bedroom

hajime kicks through the door, still rubbing circles on your leg. he knows you're not feeling good and just don't wanna be a "hindrance", but to him, nothing and no one is more important than you

and you know this, but those ugly thoughts just disagrees and wants you to be miserable about every little thing. you hate that no matter what you do, they still manage push their way in and ruin your day

hajimes kisses your forehead and the tip of your nose lightly, "i don't wanna force you to talk about it if you're not ready just yet but remember that i'm all ears, okay? i love you so much, baby, you're perfect for me, always and whatever's bothering you is our problem, mhm?"

he must be an angel— you think, he's always patient with you and doesn't belittle you for having your moments of weaknesses that he says is a disguise of strength and that you being there with him despite everything makes you one of the bravest people out there

perhaps, he is — and you're one lucky person to be able to call him yours.

[raging-feminism]

Hello, I am a 13 year old girl living in 2023, I’ve always been passionate about feminism and equality. I honestly just want everyone to get along, but I know that’s not happening, so I’d just like to use this blog as a way sexism has affected me as a girl in society now, thank you.

Ever since I was little gender norms have been pushed down my throat, I’ve been bullied all my life, and sometimes it would end in violence towards me. If a boy were to hit me, shove me, grope me, harass me, constantly call me slurs, online bully me, etc, I was told it was just boys being boys, and that they liked me. Whenever I would say anything to anyone I would be called a snitch, or a prude. A nagger. Love that for me! I’ve always wondered how boys harassing me every day of my life, calling my the r slur and a lesbo, telling me I should slit my wrists, saying I deserved to be raped for the way I dressed or the way I talked, was just boys being boys.

I remember when I was 8 years old, there was this one kid that would not leave me alone, I was in 3rd grade at the time. Everytime we had partner work it would be “Boys, pick a girl to work with.” He always chose me, it was 3rd grade, we all were and still are young, there were a bunch of blocks in a bin in the back of the classroom. He would sit me behind a table and throw blocks at me while I did his work. I didn’t tell the teacher for 4 months, when I told her the response I got was “He must like you! Isn’t that adorable?” I still remember the way she looked at me in awe, after I literally came to her crying with bruises all over my legs and arms.

2 nights ago, my parents had a Christmas party. They wouldn’t let me stay in my room, but I have severe anxiety and panic disorder, and find it hard to be around people. I was kinda just sitting on my couch the whole time. My neighbors son is 10 years old. He kept sitting down on the couch with me, which was awkward and scary for me, but I didn’t do anything because it was just a normal human interaction I can barely handle. He kept getting closer, eventually he just kept groping my tits. I kept asking him to stop but he wouldn’t so I just got up and hung out with my friends and some other random kids and neighbors, everyone got really energetic and it made me anxious, so I left again. At this point my neighbor had groped me about 7 times that night, he came up to me on the couch and started humping my leg, I kept moving but he just kept getting up on my knee and humping me. I get he’s 10, but it’s nasty. I told my dad, his response? He laughed and said “isn’t he a fucking rizzler? Gonna get all the girls when he’s older, lighten up. He doesn’t mean anything by it.” When I get really anxious I get physically sick, I threw up in the bathroom and stayed there until our neighbors left. I love my neighbors, the mom and two daughters are so sweet, and I don’t want to hate the son, but I do. The dad is a genuine criminal and is on the run from the police at the moment, I’ll probably get into that and what he’s done to me in another post. This is all im writing for now. If you read this, thank you. Please be honest, am I overreacting?

[autobots-in-training]

Question for the big kids. Why did the war started?

Sideswipe- UUUUUUUGH i hate history class. Sunny, you take this question.

Sunstreaker- idiot.

Sideswipe- I heard that!

Sunstreaker- I meant for you to hear it. Now shut up, the smart twin is talking!

Sideswipe- Neither of us is the smart twin.

Sunstreaker- Theres only two of us! One of us has to be the smart one, and its me!

Sideswipe- Yeah yeah whatever, just keep it down, im gonna play Zelda.

Sunstreaker- ANYWAY! Basically, the Functionists were in charge, we were split into castes, poor bots and anyone in the lower undesireable castes weren't allowed to procreate or even have romantic partners, cause romance leads to sex or whatever. Some bots were sterilized for speaking out, others were sterilized because the Functionist council couldnt risk them having kids even on accident. We were actually the kids of an upper class mech and lower class mech. They kept us hidden for a few years but they were found out.

Sideswipe- Can you just skip this part? I hate it.

Sunstreaker- The anon asked a question, I'm just answering it, go back to your game.

Sideswipe- Yeah yeah...

Sunstreaker- They were able to help us escape, our creators were killed by the council and we were on our own well into the war. Ironhide found us when we were... I think we were close to Springer's age.

Sideswipe- We were closer to 12.

Sunstreaker- Oh yeah, 12,000, so a bit younger than Springer and the other two. The war started because bots weren't allowed freedom of... pretty much anything. The further down in the caste system you were, the less rights and privileges you had. Even upper class mecha were restricted on some things, so even they weren't free. Frame types couldn't mix. It was a whole fucking mess.

Sideswipe- They started "decommissioning" "undesirable" mecha too. Decommissioning meaning killing and undesirable meaning old models.

Sunstreaker- It was fucked up.

Sideswipe- Hey Sunny, Mirage was from the Towers right?

Sunstreaker- Yeah, he mentioned that in class last week.

Sideswipe- How do you think he and Hound met? Hound was in the Cybertronian Army. Army mecha and high class mecha didn't really mix before the war, he said so himself in class.

Sunstreaker- For someone that hates history class, you sure know a lot.

Sideswipe- Oh please, it's just random stuff that i remember, i dont actually remember whole timelines of historical events like you.

Sunstreaker- And thats why im the smarter twin.

Sideswipe- Oh shut the fuck up.

Sunstreaker- No, im going to keep going.

Sideswipe- Fine by me.

Sunstreaker- D-16 who later became Megatronus who even later became Megatron and Orion Pax who later became Optimus Prime, teamed up, and rallied a bunch of mecha that were sick of the rules of the council. They were pretty quickly overthrown, more people hated functionism than the council realized.

Sideswipe- And then Megs and OP couldn't agree on how to go from there, and they started bitch fighting, and have not stopped since then, the eeeeend.

Sunstreaker- Can you be more articulate!?!? ... Also yeah, thats basically what happened. They kept disagreeing on how to build a new government, people took sides, and the rest is... well, history.

Sideswipe- Ugh, the beginning of the war took like, 6 months to get through, Hound just went on and on and ON. This was so much faster.

Sunstreaker- Because i left out a bunch of details!! Details which are important to know!

Sideswipe- Why do i need to know them?

Sunstreaker- Because the war isnt as black and white as some of the adults make it out to be!

Sideswipe- I mean, i get that, but it took so long to just get through the events leading up to the war.

Sunstreaker- Because it was thousands of years of unrest that lead to the revolution and the war to happen!!

Sideswipe- yeah yeah. Hey, wanna play mario kart?

Sunstreaker- *sighs* Yeah, sure. I call peach.

Sideswipe- That's who you always pick, I know not to touch her.

Sunstreaker- Good.

*end transmission*

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hii sex witch

im 19 afab and ive never had sex before, i masturbate sometimes but ive never had an orgasm and dont know how to "get it"?.. im generally scared of sex and identified as asexual for a long time but i dont think thats really my deal, im just scared of it. im scared of it being awkward, of my partner not finding me atractive or worse. i dont like how i look naked, and dont imagine anyone ever could. i think my vagina and my boobs look ugly and alien, i preach body positivity and being natural i think all bodies are good no matter how they look but when im faced with the reality of my own body im repulsed by these parts of it. i think something may be broken inside me because i just cant Be Normal about sex, the thought of me having it always makes me stressed and uncomfortable. i want a relationship and i love meeting new people and flirting etc. but when the person i talk to makes any sexual joke or innuendo i get super tense and scared and realise that if things get further they would probably want me to do it... and maybe i could and maybe i even want to but the thought makes me sick with the pressure. this isnt even a question, so i dont know how you could even respond but i dont have anyone i could openly talk about this in my life without feeling super weird or them just brushing it off as "you'll grow up to it" or something, and i just had to say it to someone or else i will eventually explode. hope this all makes sense ❤️‍🩹

hey anon,

come in, get cozy, grab a glass of lemonade, etc. we're gonna be here a minute.

so listen: I swear to GOD this isn't me trying to pull the "you'll grow into it" thing. I am going somewhere different with this I swear. bear with me.

first and foremost, I think the main problem you're experiencing right now is that being 19. I don't mean that in a condescending or belittling way, or to imply that you just don't want to have sex because you're 19. I'm saying that being 19 (and 18, and 20, and 21, and so on) is mostly for being worried about everything and having no idea what's going on. you have to get all that insane anxiety out of your system as early as possible in your adult years so that you can get down to business actually developing a perspective and figuring out what you want to do. I'm not even, like, a LOT older than you but trust me, by the time you're 26 you're going to feel SOOOOO different about things that you don't even realize you have an opinion about right now. when I was 19 I was made pretty much exclusively of anxiety and the cheapest bagels at the grocery store. (eating badly was not helping my anxiety.)

what I'm getting at here is that you're at like a very exciting and terrible formative age when it's the most normal thing in the world to feel like there's something uniquely awful and hideous and unlovable about yourself. when I was 19 the two most important things in the world to me were losing my virginity (lmao) and making sure I never experienced actual emotional intimacy ever because I was sure that if anyone got close enough to really know me they would realize that I was the worst person who ever lived and fundamentally undeserving of human connection. TERRIBLE place to be in; I had a lot of deeply bad and uncomfortable sex because of it.

there's a really easy solution to being terrified of sex, which I wish someone had told me when I was very scared of sex, and it's if having sex sounds like a horrific ordeal you can actually just Not Have Sex. just don't do it. it's actually REALLY easy to not have sex; millions of people do it every single day.

if you like meeting people and flirting, that's awesome! you should do that, having connections and relationships with other people is important. if you don't like sexual jokes and innuendos you can just tell people they make you uncomfortable and ask them not to do that; how they respond is actually a GREAT litmus test for whether or not those are people you should keep hanging out with. if someone isn't able to not make sexual comments about you after you've asked them not to, kick 'em to the curb!

there are tons of people in all kinds of romantic relationships who aren't having sex. that's a perfectly fine and reasonable boundary to set. it can make things a little more complicated, sure, but dating and romance and love are all complicated and messy anyway. again, great way to VERY EFFICIENTLY weed out who is and isn't a suitable potential partner. (it's also fine to not want a partner, either; there's nothing wrong with being a sociable extrovert who doesn't want to have sex.)

there's nothing broken about you for being nervous about the idea of having sex. whether you identify as asexual or not, it's perfectly fine to feel that way. it's completely fine if you change your mind tomorrow or if you feel this way for the rest of your life. and you might! maybe sex will never sound awesome for you, and that's fine! again, tons of people living very good and happy lives every day without having sex! sex isn't a measure of maturity, but knowing yourself well enough to honor your own boundaries and desires is.

I hope a kinder attitude towards your own body can come with time, and I think it will. be gentle with yourself, alright? being 19 is very silly but unfortunately very necessary, and I think you'll really like what comes after if you let yourself relax a little. whatever you feel like right now, you're actually a very normal person, by which I of course mean you have a rich and brilliant mind and will do many quietly wonderful things in your life and will be deserving of every bit of love and joy that comes your way.

also, hey - have you ever seen a therapist about anxiety? I also should have done that when I was 19.

[meadowmousey]

hi im gonna vent about my non existent sex life to my 3 followers now.

I’m in a ltr with an older man (i know) and it’s pretty cool for the most part except for the fact that i never get fucked lmao. it was pretty frequent and fun for the first like 8 months and now I’m lucky to get any like once a month. We got sick in winter 2022/2023, he had a terrible reaction psychologically. At first I understood bc like. We were REALLY sick. And then we got better. And I would try to initiate something and he would just give me the “maybe later” or “another day” stuff, and I wouldn’t ask again for like a week or so. And then I started doing a little amateur adult content as a side hustle, and he would take the pictures and stuff for me. So I would try to get a lil spicy. And he would turn me down. And I don’t know how to describe how absolutely shit it feels to have someone taking lewd pictures of you and them be completely turned off. Ouch. I started doing the pictures/videos alone and I would send him the best ones. He’d sometimes save them but usually I would get some half assed response. So I just stopped bc it made me feel gross. I’m like terminally horny as a person. I could fuck like 3x a day and still go again. I haven’t been able to get a “round two” since like August of 2022. He also presented himself when we first getting to know each other as super kinky and experimental. And he was at first. But it’s so vanilla since we got sick. Like, two positions and barely any variety. We bought some toys and rope and stuff. One of them we haven’t even used. Well, I have but it was alone. He told me, when I was first starting to really have my feelings hurt about his lack of sexual interest, that he has a hard time seeing me as both his life partner and as someone he can do kink with. And that really hurt. Like really bad. Like sure, the ppl he dated before he didn’t love (or the 1 night stands) the way he loves me. So how does it make sense that he gave them all the vulnerability and trust that kink involves but I can’t have that?? And then he says that we’re different, we’re better than most people because we don’t need to have a relationship based off sex. Homeboy if we did, the relationship would have withered and died ages ago. I’m a human being in my 20’s, I’m fucking horny!! I don’t understand why he thinks that it’s fair for him to have gotten to hook up and do all the fun stuff with other people, and now it’s just over for him forever. What about me? What about what I need? Like, I already feel like the once a month boring ass 30 minutes I get is a chore for him. I don’t want him to do anything he doesn’t feel comfortable with. It’s just really hurtful and unfair. I know he doesn’t wanna do an open relationship and I don’t either, but at this point I am so sexually frustrated. I feel embarrassed for wanting sex. I feel like he sees me as some kind of pure and untouchable thing, which makes no sense. I’ve always been up front about being really sexual, and kinky , and open, and unconventional. It’s like he refuses to see a whole entire side of me, except very superficially when we do get sexual. And even then I can tell he’s not really that enthusiastic, it seems like he’s on a mission to make both of us cum as quickly as possible. It’s not even fun anymore and I just feel so self conscious and shitty. It really fucking sucks not even being 25 with a dead bedroom. I’ve been trying to curb my sexual appetite as much as I can but at this point I’m gonna start chewing my fucking fingers off. The worst part is I know I’m not ugly. I know if most people had the chance they would happily get into bed with me. So why is it that the person who DOES get to, doesn’t even want it anymore?? I know he could have his pick of anybody as well. We were so compatible and so much happier when we were having sex more. Now I’m so full of resentment that I have a hard time connecting with him at all. I hate that I feel like this but I’m having to squash such big feelings 24/7. Ugh. Anyway.

[alaskan-wallflower]

i’m sorry i keep venting but i swear this is my lowest. and i don’t really have any other way to filter it out because it’s like it’s consuming me and i can’t get it out of my head and i don’t wanna relapse again so. tw for self harm, sa mentions and suicide (i’m not gonna do anything but things will be mentioned.

today has been absolute hell. i don’t know why but the ask from this morning has me all jumpy or whatever. i just feel sick. i dunno. i guess i deserve it. i deserve to feel this way. i deserve what happened to me because i hurt people. i don’t like to say i was assaulted because i was young when it happened (8-12y/o or so) and it just kinda feels like i don’t have a right to say that because it wasn’t that much. like my grandpa used to slap me on the ass. he touched my chest area once or twice but that was it. but he did that to a lot of people. and i dunno. i feel like i can’t call it assault because it wasn’t. he didn’t know what he was doing because he had alzheimer’s and was demented. i dunno. i wish he was nicer. he used to scream at me and my brothers a lot. he made us cry and hide a lot too. he wasn’t very nice. but he’s still family and i have to love him. and i thought i was over it but the stupid ask from this morning just had me like…i dunno. feeling weird.

i suppose i deserved it. if i told my family they would tell me im being a dramatic attention seeker. so i guess that’s what im being. but i dunno. i hate complaining about this stuff because it doesn’t do anything. but still. and the shit about my brother doesn’t bother me as much. he was probably joking around or whatever when he was touching my clothes. it’s blurry now. but it’s whatever. i deserve this all. i deserve it. and i keep telling myself that.

i relapsed last night. for the first time in about nine months. i had one of the worst mental breakdowns of my life. i was just stuck on the bathroom floor crying while i relapsed. it wasn’t that bad. i shouldn’t count it as s/h. it never broke skin. or well; that much at least. i don’t even know hat happened, i was just thinking for too long and i ended up spiraling. i thought about ending it last night while taking my meds because i was thinking about how easy it would’ve been. i deserve it. but i was thinking like…i dunno. running from this won’t do anything. so i guess i have to face it myself.

every time i hear my mom tell me im a loyal friend, or that im kind, or whatever, all i can think about is how many people i’ve hurt. and it’s just become my life now. i hardly sleep. i either don’t eat or i eat til i feel like throwing up. i feel like there’s no escape and i did this all to myself. i wish i could turn back time. i do. but i cant. i wish that i could tell my past self what a fucking idiot she was. i don’t want to keep fighting this. i wanna be happy. but i feel like i can’t do anything.

everyone says im just doing ‘good’. good in school, in clubs, in whatever. but good isn’t great. and i need to be great. i need to be exceptional. i need to be exemplary. i need to be the best. that’s always where my mind is at. and if i’m not the best, i’m nothing. and i am nothing. i will always be nothing. because i can’t get off my lazy ass to do anything productive so i either drown myself in work or i do nothing but waste time holed up in my room because there’s something wrong with me and i can’t turn it off.

i’m scared. but i deserve to be scared. i deserve all of this and all of what’s to come. i don’t even think it’s because of friend issues either anymore. i just finally woke up and realized how meaningless everything i do is. because i’m not a good friend. i’m not a good sister. i’m not a good partner. i’m not anything. i’m not the best and when i’m not the best, i’m nothing.

[quailxcrossing]

WAIT I HAVE MORE SPRRY LMAO

9, 12, 13 & 21 for Wonder

31, 33, 53 & 60 Marya

I am so interested in these two their dynamic is sooooo good

NEVER SORRY IM SOOO EXCITED I LOVE

WONDER

AND

MARYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*wonder is currently auth only but its literally not spoilery at all, i am just like secret lil guy just for me. BUT that means its 100% okay to talk about, bc its fine people know it exists.

this is gonna not make a lot of sense to most of you, and that's okay. I'm talking to my friend fish

WONDER

[9] What is their love language? Gift-giving :D Wonder lovessss showering its partners with expensive presents and taking them to extravagant places. it doesn't expect anything in return, which makes it very amazed when people do try to return the love in that way. its a bit of a double-edged sword too, though. once it becomes obvious that dating Wonder means you'll get a bunch of fancy shit, random people try to get close to it, so it has to be even more careful with who it accepts a swipe right with.

[12] How high is their self-esteem? dirttttttt low. but its aware of this.....its recent moves to remove itself from the public is it trying to work on its self-image. its really tired of feeling subhuman, it wants to love itself again- it wants its hugeee ego back!!!! it wants to be hot and amazing and sexy forever!!!!!! being pink is helping

[13] What kind of sense of humor do they have, if any? Its a very crude, topical comedy sort of sense of humor. Wonder would love Tumblr. it would do numbers on Tumblr.

[21] When they’re sick, would they want others to visit them, or they would rather prefer not to be seen at not their best?

Wonder would prefer not to be seen, its very embarrassed at its state when its sick and fully expects to lie alone in the dark and melt and wheeze until its looking perfect and hot and beautiful again. it hates this form of weakness, but it also just. hates. feeling sick (don't we all, tbh). its not...ASKING Marya to come by and take care of it, but it is really, really nice of her to do so. even though Wonder is pretty ashamed at how needy and miserable they get (even more needy and miserable than usual)

--------

MARYA

[31] How hard it is for them to own up to their mistakes and wrongdoings?

Pretty hard....it was even worse when Marya was younger. she pushed everything down and tried to justify the actions she was taking- some of them justified, yes, but there's always another way. nowadays, she's better on herself. she's learned, she's matured, she knows she's messed up and she's trying to do better. she IS doing better. she's a good person, just not a good mom. she's trying to own up to her mistakes, but it's hard for her to be open about them to others.

[33] What are one of their fondest and most treasured memories?

Definitely the first time her son recognized her.

[53] Do they like to sing and how confident they are with their singing?

She loves to sing!! she's not a trained singer, but she's plenty confident with it. she's a good singer in the sense she gives it all of her chest and she has fun going along to songs on the radio. she loves music, she always has a song stuck in her head and is humming along to it. she really wants to encourage Wonder to sing with her...just for fun!! she promises it'll be fun!!! no cameras!!!

[60] If they were to commit a crime, what kind of crime would it most likely be?

Robbery. her ex-husband's bank account is looking quite delicious right now (she wouldn't...unless? no...no she's being silly! she's laughing.)

[player1064]

June 2004

WIP asks but it's just the various sections of my happy (???) beville (/angsty carraville) WIP

ngl this section might not make it into the final cut not bc I don't like it but bc now that I've done a couple of becks pov sections I feel like this one might work better with becks' pov than with gary's.... but we shall see

---

June, 2004.

David’s entire career has been built around set pieces, around people saying that there’s no-one they’d rather have on a dead ball than him. Always the one to step up for corners, always the first name on the list of penalty-takers.

So he struggles, when a game ends like this.

“It’s not your fault,” Gary tells him, over and over again. Even though they both know that it is. “It’s England, innit? Penalty curse an’ all that.”

David doesn’t seem to hear him, or maybe he’s ignoring Gary’s obvious bullshitting. He just sits on the bed, curled in on himself and staring at his hands as he methodically cracks each knuckle.

He’s not crying. Gary almost wishes he would, thinks it might be easier to offer comfort to his partner when he’s not so trapped inside his own head, spinning round and round until it makes him sick. If they were in England they’d be at the training grounds right now, stood on the pitch in the middle of the night with David saying just one more kick, Gaz, I have to get it through this hoop. And again – can’t do it just once, might be a fluke. One. Two. Three. Perfect. And again. I need to do the run-up from a different angle, at a different pace. Again. Again.

Gary wonders if anyone in Madrid would’ve done that for him, stood out there freezing in the dark for hours at a time, just watching, waiting. Let him tire himself out, then take him home and put him to bed and tell him it’s not his fault, it’s not his fault, it’s not his fault.

No training pitches here, though, and no chance of sneaking out when the city’s still up celebrating Portugal’s win.

He sits himself behind David, pulls him back to rest against his chest. David still doesn’t say anything, but after a moment he feels some of the tension start to leave his body.

“Becks,” he says quietly, “you’ve played much worse games than this. Let’s blame Ronaldo, eh? The Portuguese one, I mean. Obviously. The Brazilian one wouldn’t be playin’ in the Euros, would ‘e? Fuck me, that’s gonna get confusing.” He’s aware that he’s starting to ramble, but his brain is itching to fill the silence so there’s not much he can do to stop it. “Let’s call ‘im Cristiano, that’s easier. He’s insane, Becks, honestly. I’ve never seen someone play like that me whole life, it’s – there’s no winning, against him. So let’s blame him, and then when we go on pre-season tour and you meet him proper you can speak to ‘im with all that Spanish you’ve been learnin’.”

“They don’t speak Spanish in Portugal,” Becks says hoarsely, like it’s an effort just to get the words out.

“Do they not?” This would explain why Gary’s not had much luck with the Spanish to English dictionary he’s been keeping in his locker. “Tha’s weird.”

The corner of David’s mouth ticks up a fraction. “You’re pretty,” he murmurs, stealing the line Gary normally reserves for when David’s not understanding whatever he’s explaining (ranting about) to him.

Gary sighs. “Home tomorrow,” he says, reaching for one of David’s hands to give it a squeeze. “Mum and Trace said your stuff’s got back alright, so at least we won’t have to deal with all that unpacking nonsense when we get in.”

“Home.” David smiles properly this time, tilts his head back to look up at Gary. “I’m comin’ home.”

“That you are. You spoken to the Boss at all?”

“A bit. Think we’re gonna be alright. Can’t believe fuckin’ Carlos is coming back too, can I not ever get a break from him?”

[soulless-computerbug]

Tell me ur habit thoughts

I have an ask on my main thats been sitting there for a couple years now (sorry midsy i promise its not forgotten 😭) that i want to work on now because, while i try to keep my habit as close to the source as possible, i did have some plot points in my fic that needed more, and i finally have a sort of set background for him now. Its so hard to tamper with perfection and keep it, so im trying my best 😬😩

Evan is probably my habits 4th or 5th face. He was formed during WW1, but didnt actually stick to the mortal world til after the war ended. His first sighting wouldve been the early to mid 1920s. Im debating how much i wanna chatter about it, cuz i think i wanna do a side fic about his first faces, like i plan on doing with kates background too, but ehh

Gonna slip this under a cut

Habits first face was a rail worker named Rudy. Rudy had a damn solid worker's build and a cheeky sense of humor, and a heart of steel. He was dependable if a bit brash sometimes, and to a degree his personality bled over into Habits. There was a catch though, Rudy had a family and a partner. And while Habit was tempted to just off them all for sake of ease, it would have drawn too much attention, and he was not as strong as he is now. And eventually he got caught by Rudy's girlfriend, an upper class woman named Harietta. I have art of her somewhere, I'll have to reblog with a link.

Harietta was incredibly smart and quick witted, and she found out pretty quickly that something was wrong with her secret lover. She was just never expecting it to be him being possessed by a demon. His normally playful sense of flirting was more sour, more hostile and degrading. Her and Habit did not get along for a while. But she was determined to get him to leave them both alone, and she was persistent. Habit had a loose string of plans to build his influence that she found a way to meddle in, but over time he found her more and more useful. She had connections through her wealthy father and rebellious mother, and she had a brain like a puzzle box that could find the most uncanny solution to any issue. And after a while, he found himself willingly let her coming along, being more protective of her. Needless to say, he stole his host's girlfriend.

He eventually claimed her and they got married for her comfort. The bond he gave her essentially made her immortal, and they lived as working partners and lovers well into the 90s. He kind of corrupted her a bit. He was always malcious and conniving and looking to claw himself higher and higher, wanting to rival the most powerful beings walking the mortal plane. He couldn't have some human girl swaying his ideals. So he twisted her a bit, until she was a little messed up like him. Enough to get her on board with things most people wouldn't be.

The problem with being a demon like him on the mortal plane is vessels. Other demons, like Jack and Jason, have viable appearances that are human enough to work and blend in. Habits is not. His actual form is large and very inhuman, he stands out like a sore thumb. To combat this, he has to take human vessels, an imperfect tactic to hide himself amongst humans. These people he inhabits can still die, he can make them weak or sick with his presence, and if they are of strong enough mind, they can fight back against him. One of the things he tasked Hattie to do is help him find vessels, because as much as he tried not to, he would eventually break and kill those he inhabited.

It was Hattie that found Evan. She was smitten with him immediately, and when Habit inevitably killed his current vessel, she tried to coax and eventually seduce him into their house, where she could summon her husband back into his body. Evan is incredibly strong willed, and it took a lot of work for the both of them to get him to submit enough for Habit to become a dominant existence in his body, but eventually they broke him down enough to make it work. Hattie is very fond of Evan, and when Habit isnt inhabiting him she often clings to him and confides in him what she doesnt with Habit. Evan is actually the one that knows the most about her eventual madness and disappearance.

He's still very much a Habit. Stubborn, crass clever, antagonistic. I did kinda go the more goofy route too of giving him a small group of people that he uses like fodder and foot soldiers. Rabbits if you will (lol), and he mostly uses them when he has too many things to do on his own. Or he uses them as bait, weapons, guards, whatever he needs them to do. They live on their own, and because of the way he brands them, he can call on them when he needs and they'll regroup. Funnily enough, it started as a crack idea but Natalie (Clockwork) ended up being his right hand and second in command, and she has a very interesting dynamic with him because of that. Think tired employee with sadistic boss lol. We'll see all of this in the fic; hes the last antagonist to be introduced and he almost makes himself the main antag. He's a hell of a force to be reckoned with, and he'll change the whole course of the fic when he gets introduced. It'll just be a long while til then.

Ahh. Tryna think of anything else. I'll reblog this if i think of more, its already a lot. Thanks for the ask 💕

[papirouge]

I think its telling that those users are getting triggered about women deciding not to partner up with men and not having children instead of addressing the real problem: the misoginy of korean men.

The obvious solution here is for men to step up and become better partners and human beings in general. Do these people expect these women to put up with men who see them as inferiors, sex objects that should serve them and kiss the ground they walk on?? Do these people not realize how messed up kids from these types of relationships end up being? Does it only matter to bring any kid into this world even If its with a horrible man in a horrible environment?

Look, im not antinatalist or anything like that, but people should actually be happy that women have such high standards that they prefer not to engage in modern relationships. They're not even having sex, which means that they'll never abort if they happen to get pregnant.... because they don't have sex.

Not to mention that celibacy is seeing as a good thing in the bible, because you have more time for God and Divine matters. Obviously as someone already pointed out, Korea is not a Christian country, but it's kind of funny seeing people so pressed at celibate women for a country they probably dont even care about.

❕❕❕

Like- why do they even care if those women don't have children?? They act like there weren't plentiful of others who will. Sorry but pro choicers are absolutely right to say that some pro lifers have a thing with controlling women.

Those Christian women popped up talking about ABORTION when women chosing to remain celibate is actually part of the solution to avoid unwanted pregnancy - leading to abortion. I kept having a back and forth with that mormon girl and she was unable to argue over 1 Corinthians 7 celebrating celibacy, to the point she started to quote some random scrote (I HATE when Christian use quote from randos to defend theological standpoints, whether it's CS Lewis, Charles Surgeon or whatever - USE THE SCRIPTURES!! idc shady European scrotes writing stuff about the Bible 200 years ago) and a whole different passage of the Bible about celestial bodies(??). Like - it's so obvious those women were influenced by a specific mindset, not rooted on the Bible but rather family and tradition. That's why it's so important to make a difference between culture/tradition AND the actual Bible.

And yes, they really told on themselves by criticizing those women and not having a thing to say about the abusive men that compelled them to make such a decision. I made a bunch of posts lately pointing out the hypocrisy/double standards of Christians giving excuses to male heinous acts ("nOt aLl yRadMeN") while it only takes a few women not wanting to have children for them to be responsible of the collapse of their society... EXCUSE ME? I thought men were suPpOSeD tO lEaD? (FYI that's why in the garden of Eden, even though Eve lead Adam to sin, God held Adam as much as responsible) Then why do they have such a hard time to ask accountability to men?? Why aren't they accusing Korean men of being so shitty with their women they are now reaping the consequences of their action, which will ultimately affect their country demography and ulti5 economical system (yeah bc if there are no more babies, who's gonna pay their pension)?? They are the root of this hellscape, not women, who are absolutely entitled to refuse to reproduce with piece of trash.

I'm so sick of those people using the Bible to excuse their obvious bias to enable men, while condemning women. I am sooo grateful i didn't grow up in a Christian clan, because they truly seem to brainwash women into being fricking enabling handmaiden for men WHATEVER THEY DO, but with no remote sense of charity for (unperfect) women.

[despite-everything]

im gonna rant a little

this fucking sucks because im actually very upset with my best friend and their partner. we're close friends and tend to agree on important things, so of course i assumed they were both still wearing masks indoors - specifically, at work, in class, and while in stores. i personally dont wear a mask at home or when visiting friends homes, or when at jiu jitsu (you like... cant wear a mask there. so yes it is an exposure risk but even with a mask, at that proximity its all but useless), and i figured they were in the same boat where i didnt see them wearing masks because we were always hanging out at our own apartments, outside, or in my private office at work (where its safe to remove cause im alone). but it turns out i was wrong about that.

my friends partner (we're friends? but she has been a bit erratic lately and i cant fucking predict her and so i dont even know where we stand anymore. it fucking sucks to have someone go hot-and-cold on you all the time, but i believe that she's fundamentally more mature than this behavior suggests and believe that she is working to do better, and since she's with my best friend, i'm more tolerant of that behavior than i would be with someone else) got sick and said she was sick yesterday, and i was thinking about how both of them have gotten ill a fair amount the past few months. despite masking, i also got sick twice, so i didnt think too much of it before. but yesterday i was like... wait. how the fuck are they getting sick so often if theyre wearing masks. and asked about it - turns out, they've really only been wearing masks in places like airplanes. yeah, they're both vaccinated and boosted, but what the fuck.

anyway, i just got a text saying they both feel sick now and i genuinely dont have any fucking sympathy at all right now. like... i dont want to be a dick but if you stop wearing masks and then suddenly start getting sick all the fucking time that just proves why masks are so important??? like what the fuck. and honestly i feel like i maybe misjudged them in a way? like i still care and we're still friends but i feel hurt and shocked that they would both just decide to stop masking everywhere and put people at such a risk and think so little of it that it never comes up in conversation.

and i want to talk to them about it but i really dont know how... like i said, my friends partner has been incredibly inconsistent and unpredictable in her behavior towards me and i cant imagine this conversation going well. i think for now im just not going to respond to the text and stop checking in for a couple days cause im pissed. usually, when they're sick, i check in daily and offer to go to the store/cook food/help out where i can, but i am not fucking willing to do it this time. this fucking sucks.

[b0mblover]

It’ll be Okay in the End

By: J

cw; selfharm, generally negative thoughts, blood (etc everything that comes with sh)

lopt essentially has a silent breakdown and mason comforts him or smth idk im not good at summeries,

[Note; this was wrote out of my own desperation for comfort, not romanizing sh, i do not encourage or believe anyone should do this to themselves, seek help.]

i uh, actually had a easier time writing this than most things, probably because ive been essentially replaying this whole scene in my head for literal years! i for once wasnt upset when i wrote this, i was very tired tho! uh i have alot more to say but hawaii part ii lopt is taking over my brain again, so im gonna go do that! have fun with my depressed 100% projected loptson ig!

•

lopt was in ‘his’ so called room, scribbling away at some paper,

mason was rather concerned, hearing frustrated noises constantly, what sounded like pencils breaking,

they had been “partners” officially for 3 months now, mason had always cared about lopt to an extent, partner or not, but this was… odd.

sure lopt had his own life, hobbies, but he didnt care to keep /that/ much from mason, especially whenever he asked,

but, this was different.

lopt had came home from wherever the fuck he was- hell if mason knew details- annoyed, he stormed off to some room, when mason tried to ask what was wrong he only blew him off saying that “its none of your fucking business, you wouldnt get it anyways”

•

lopt was scribbling away in his notepad, despite being a god and literally being immortal, he still couldnt force creativity to come to him,

it was his fifth time trying,

most drawings resulted in poorly scribbled out lines,

he had went out to try and get inspiration for “some project” though he didnt really /have/ anything to work on, starting a new drawing always seemed to be a block for him,

he sat down his broken (6b) pencil, (rather violently but he didnt want to acknowledge that) and got up, he knew somewhere in him, that he needed a break, he walked out of his room to get water, but his mind wouldnt leave him alone,

constant thoughts about how awful his art was spewed around

“youre not “talented”, youre worthless”

“itd be better to quit now”

“just rip up the damn papers, theyre ugly anyways”

“imagine- you could just go and alleviate all this pain, just with that knife-“

he tried to push down his thoughts,

grabbing a cup from the cabinet and filling it with water,

the knives in the butcher block seemed so… tempting,

most of him /knew/ that he shouldnt- that it was wrong, that mason would be disappointed- disgusted, if he found out about his thoughts,

but, he couldnt help it,

all memories of the nights he got up from their bed to take part in something that would disgust his partner made him sick.

questions runned through his head as he sipped on his water, leaning onto the counter

“would he be sad?”

“would he care?”

“would he call me names?”

“tell me how pathetic i am?”

“leave me?”

“would he hate me?”

“tell me how ugly my body is”

“tell me how he hates the scars”

“tell me just how much he despises me”

the voices grew louder wither every question,

saying that he wanted mason to hate him,

that he did hate him,

in the very back of lopts mind, in the tiniest corner, he knew it all wasnt true, that he was being dramatic over nothing,

but even then, the memories of all the times he loved someone- all the times he didnt question if they hated him, what they all said to him,

he felt like doubting himself was the only way to have them not leave,

to not abandon him,

he took a deep breath before sighing, realizing his cup was empty, he decided that he had enough of a “break” and that he needed to start “working” again,

•

mason was sitting on the couch, some random tv show playing for background noise, when lopt wasnt “there” it was almost too quiet, in a way, mason had grown to love how loud and chaotic the house was with lopt- even if thery were the only two people in it.

he seen lopt walk into the kitchen for around 8~ minutes before he trudged his way into his room once more,

he didnt know excatly as to what lopt was doing,

granted whatever it was had to have been important, he didnt usually spend 3+ hours in a room alone silently, it started to make him worry, was lopt sick? just why did he seem so upset when he came home? is he okay? did he hurt himself?

•

lopt sat down at his desk once more, staring at the scribbled page, a sphere, he couldnt figure out how to shade it properly on the background,

he sighed turning his attention to the top left drawer,

he stood up walking over to his dresser, pulling out another drawer, he took out a roll of bandages, and some tissues, 

he knew that he shouldnt, that it was essentially pointless, that hed feel better soon enough,

but that fear crept back up,

“what about last time you didnt? remember? it got only worse because you didnt”

he rubbed the sides of his nose bridge, the voices were annoying, they knew that he was gonna, even without the encouragement.

he sat back down at his desk, sitting the tissues to his right and the badages to his left before pulling out the left hand drawer,

he rummaged through it, various miscellaneous items, before coming across a box,

a red box, seemingly quiet old, with yellow letters reading “do it” on the front,

he took one out, ‘unwrapping’ the razor blade,

straight edge,

he stared at it, contemplating just what hes doing with his life,

“i cant draw, i cant write, i cant make people happy, i cant make music, i can only recite the tales others have told, im worthless, im doless, i will never amount to anything or anyone in my life, god or not, human or not, this is deserved, if i cannot create, then i at lease deserve to bleed”

a mantra he told himself, attempting to poorly justify his actions,

•

mason listened at the door, hearing nothing, no pencil, no walking, almost no breathing, he didnt know everything about lopt, sure, but he knew that he didnt look well off, and what boyfriend would he be to his partner if he wasnt concerned?

they had an unspoken rule to always at least knock before walking into the others space, granted they had seen every part of each other, it was just a courtesy they had, 

though, something felt off,

mason felt as if he shouldnt knock, that lopt was hiding something,

all those sleepless nights where lopt comforted him abundantly, he had felt him get up, a few times he had caught lopt in the basement, he didnt know just what he was doing, he always hid something,

he didnt want to break any boundaries sure, thatd be rude and disrespectful, but, he had a weird feeling in his gut that it was for lopts own saftey,

“please forgive me for this” he muttered to himself,

sharply inhaling before opening the door,

simply greeted by lopts back.

•

lopt heard the door open, he had three lines going diagonally down his right arm, bleeding, he fumbled the razor, dropping it onto the floor, it had gotten rather dark by now, so it probably wouldnt be seen, he attempted to get the tissues, he had always been a great liar,

“ill just say i accidentally cut myself, if he asks what i was doing with a weapon, ill deflect and say i was being stupid”

it seems like he fumbled the tissues for a bit too long.

“hey”

mason said over his shoulder,

he moved his left hand to cover the cuts,

“o-oh, hey, whats wrong?”

“hm, well, i mean nothing? i guess, what are you doing?”

“i- you guess? is something the matter?”

mason had noticed he was oddly covering his forearm,

“you ignored my question.”

“huh?”

“i asked what youre doing.”

masons tone sounded alot more pissed off, granted he wasnt, just concered more than anything,

“o-oh i um, ok dont laugh but uh- i was trying to draw”

“and why are you covering your arm? are you hurt?”

“i- huh? wh- no, no! i uh, may have also been playing with a blade and accidentally scraped myself, nothing much”

“let me see”

“what?”

“let me see your injury”

lopt was taken aback, all of his previous partners never asked to see his wounds, scars sure but never his wounds, even if they werent self inflicted, he was shocked, he hadnt planned for this.

“i- i assure you dear, it isnt anything to worry about-“

“let me see it. are you hiding something?”

in that moment lopt felt small, like a child almost, weak, helpless, he didnt know how he could get out of this without mason either finding out or being suspicious of him.

“i- here”

lopt moved his left arm to mason, there were a few small cuts on it, though rather old looking,

lopt moved his right arm off the table, into the shadows to not call attention to it.

“uh huh, now the other?”

lopt seen his eternal life flash before his very eyes.

his mind went on autopilot and raised his right arm, he usually would fight but, he knew itd be pointless, mason would just worry more, thus making him keep a closer eye on lopt, he didnt want to feel selfish, not like that,

“oh my, i- oh my god,”

mason was shocked, he had suspected that lopt had hurt himself in the past, granted the scars,

but, he didnt think he still did it, sure the weird behavior, but it never really dawned on him until that moment.

.

mason had brought (more like dragged) lopt to the bathroom, running the slits under cool water, putting pressure to hopefully get the bleeding under control, he opened the cabinet under the sink and pulled out another roll of bandages,

he stood behind lopt washing the blood off, still slightly in shock,

“why?”

“huh?”

“why do you do this?”

masom questioned, fully aware of the long list lopt was about to give out,

“i- well, i dunno..”

lopts voice trailed off before starting again,

“i mean, i dont even know why i do this, it just feels good? like i can do something right? it makes me feel like im not worthless”

mason hummed for a second before choosing his words

“do you feel normally that youre worthless?”

“i guess so, i dont know why, i have the best boyfriend, my life is great, i just dont know..”

“mmhm, what were you trying to draw?”

“i dont know. does it matter?”

lopt shot back

“well, you seemed frustrated at it, so im sure it’s important to you yeah? so then it’s important to me”

mason brought his hands around lopts wrist, rubbing it slightly attempting to calm him down

“i- i dont know, i just, i feel frustrated, so i tried to draw, but drawing makes me feel more frustrated, so i did this- an- and n-now-“

lopt began to stutter, tears swelling up in his eyes, mason had only seen him cry on a few occasions,

“shh- shh its okay, i know what youre saying, breath, okay?”

lopt inhaled deeply, feeling masons left hand move to wipe the tears away,

he didnt even know why he was crying,

mason bandaged lopts arm slightly tight, 

“shh, now, you wanna talk about this? or wait a little bit longer to calm down?”

“c-calm down”

“alright alright, shh youre okay, see?”

mason lead lopt into his bedroom, taking lopts hand under the covers as he had done for him every sleepless night,

lopt could feel his eyelids starting to droop, the warmth of his boyfriend comforting him, the love of his boyfriend comforting him,

he shoved his head into masons chest, finding it to be the most comfortable spot out of the entire bed,

mason ruffled his hair, slowly stroking his hand on his neck,

“y’know, you may be a god,

and you may be immortal, but,

ill be with you for as long as you need, in this life and after”

lopt didnt respond, just slightly nodded his head before burrying it deeper into masons chest, 

maybe tonight wasnt so bad after all,

spending time with mason- no, his boyfriend, was never bad.

lopt faded in and out of sleep, trying to fight the melatonin being produced, just to feel the sweet touch of his boyfriends skin, before he completely felt himself drift away, he heard him speak,

“I love you, i love you so much, never forget that, in this life and the next, ill always love you, lopt.”