#im so scared what if i dont get in im gonna have to be a dropout forever and like i know theres nothing wrong with that but its just the
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fucking mentally exhausted rn so im just gonna spout my shit
fuck
shit
bitch
fuck
awesomesauce
did you know thatneutron has a ring on their pinky finger. yeah/ wowowowo
did you know that. actually holdon
okay!!!!!! divider
proton is claustrophobic. her claustrophobia gets worse when said enclosed space is dark
electron is highkey very touch averse but also very touch starved. unless its the one initiating the touch zap will be freaking out. very uncomfy. hmm i wonder if i was projecti- gets shot
neutron is just straight up no holds barred touch starved. please give bro a hug they would really appreciate it. theyve been getting plenty post-lizard mode after that one rp but it wouldnt hurt for them to have a snuggle. a cuddle perhaps
proton's love language is touch. she is very physically affectionate. thought that neutron just wasnt the jiggiest with touch but now its like hey buddy. your designated snuggle time is here. also she likes holding on to people and touching them because thats how she knows theyre still alive
electron lowkey loves and hates kitty mode. loves it because haha this is really comfy actually i dont have to think but hates it because you're a mindless little kitty. someone's pet. just the way you used to be. they kept you that way for years. a stupid little kitty. just the way they liked it. you couldn't even think straight. they could handle you like some discarded sock and you wouldn't care. why do you still miss the ones that hurt you?
uhmm from time of last rebirth neutron is oldest, electron is second oldest, proton is youngest. from physical age neutron is oldest again, proton is second oldest, electron is youngest
neutron highkey enjoyed wearing that maid dress. they thought it was comfy
proton and neutron shouldve been enemies like why are you hanging out like that. proton are you literally not aware of what they did (shes not)
electron has this kind of subconscious disgust towards its tail now. i mean it kind of fried zaps roommate from the inside i dont blame bro
neutron lowkey a little scared of electron after thag. bros never liked electricity. why are you the mind electric coded
stop fucking using lowkey and highkey thanks
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9ada408a59960ce70cae22bcf9842b5d/c7d6b02558d4bd78-28/s540x810/91549e69411eba0f47ee0d1a599a1594321465fb.jpg)
avoidance is my fucking doom man, i know i should go to class but i fucking cant get myself to
#i have. so many absences it's ridiculous to go right now i know it will be worse if i dont go i have to go#ive been just tossing and turning for like 2 hours with some freakign heart palpitations cause im so fucking scared#i was supposed to go last week and i didnt do it then either and every time i feel worse but i cant make myself go#AAAAAAAAA Im gonna die here i know i just have to force myself but i dont want to i want to stay at home which will fix nothing and#make everything worse in the long run#im aware of thsi but i still cant get myself to go idk what to do in this situation i feel horrible augh#i have so many absences I literally went once at the start of the semester and it's been what. 2 and a half months almost 3#i didnt do much for the class and i didnt go to class idk what to do.. theres literally no other way than to force myself to go#i KNOW I'll instantly feel better if i just stay home. i knowww i knowwww but its not going to help anything#i feel like shit and so ashamed and i just really dont want to go through this#FUUCK#im just#completely in panic mode rn. idk if i wont just try to go tomorrow idk if this is a bad decision im still just putting it off#im just totally by myself and cant even talk to anyone to calm down uauauhcgchdhd#im feeling pretty pathetic rn i should be able to do thisss i should be able to do this by myself#this is like self inflicted psychological horror and it's like every other day for me for many years now ouughh
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what a morning,,,
here's a rant about the pressure community
I've been kinda lurking on pressure twitter for the past few weeks while all this shit went down and i just gotta say... jesus fuck.
I practically had a heart attack as soon as i opened my phone when i woke up and saw zeal was trying to sell pressure. Considering how he changed his profile last night to a strictly corporate one and then this? It seemed like a really hasty decision, and something serious was going on with him.
And yknow what, with all the hate being directed at him right now i don't blame him one fucking bit. I'd probably end up doing the same thing if i was in his shoes. Being autistic as well, i would just want to completely distance myself from this overwhelming bullshit. I think that's why he started to distance himself from the community in the first place (which unfortunately is kinda what led to some issues getting overlooked).
The tweet was deleted and pressure isn't for sale anymore thank GOD, but I'm honestly more worried about the actual people behind pressure than the game itself.
I agree that there's issues they need to fix, but its not an entirely black and white situation, and its pretty fucking complicated. With the sheer amount of people in the community its crazy to expect them to handle and manage everything themself, especially since they blew up in popularity in such a short amount of time, how the hell would they know how to deal with this???
Yes, there are certain things they need to actually address and take responsibility for that they sort of haven't, but attacking them to where it gets to this point isn't the fucking answer.
I wouldn't blame any of the devs if they never touch the game again, the way the community has treated them and has completely blown things out of proportion is insane. I feel like the main issue is the discord server itself but that's just me. From what I've seen its mostly just the community self cannibalizing, attacking each other, sending death threats, and doxxing people over shit that literally doesn't matter at all.
I'm not one to really delve into fandom drama, but this whole issue with certain possessive Sebastian fans and those who took it upon themselves to attack those fans is the stupidest fucking conflict I've ever seen in any fandom. Especially when this stuff reaches the people who work on the games who have nothing to do with it.
I agree that this is something the devs need to talk about head on with full transparency, no matter their feelings on it, because a main problem I've seen with them is lack of community management.
But again, y'all are forgetting the devs are REAL FUCKING PEOPLE, people who are bound to make mistakes, and get overwhelmed, and not know how to deal with suddenly having a giant fanbase. Harassing them and sending death threats is going way too fucking far and wont solve anything, because clearly all its done is made things worse.
Also god forbid they have boundaries and don't want to see certain things in the discord server. I'm not gonna get into the specifics, but as a queer trans person I think some of y'all are reading too much into the things they don't allow, seriously.
Reminder, I'm saying all this as someone who self-ships with Sebastian, and who's not entirely thrilled about him being canonically married. BUT PRIORITIZING A FICTIONAL CHARACTER OVER REAL PEOPLE????? THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YALL???
And to the people I've seen disappointed in zeal's response to all this on twitter, I'm with you, not seeing whats happening in the community doesn't mean these problems don't exist. But think about the shit he's going through, put yourself in his shoes and genuinely try to understand how fucking overwhelming this whole situation is, for him and the rest of the team. Especially after what's happened in the past 24 hours.
Tangent, but am i the only one who's seen a drastic change in the way fandom communities operate in the past few years? Like after lockdown fandom spaces have gotten more and more hostile, and people are just being so fucking mean to each other over the most trivial shit??? Listen I Get being chronically online, because i am, but at a certain point you just gotta log the fuck off and touch some grass, man. christ.
I really hope the devs take a break, they need it. I was excited about the update that was supposed to come out this month but I don't think it will now, and I honestly don't think we deserve it.
TL;DR: Pressure fandom, do better. Speaking from both points of view, no matter the various mistakes the dev team has made, the majority of this is on y'all.
And lastly, I'd honestly rather keep pressure exactly the way it is with no updates and no new stuff ever again than for it to turn into roblox slop like most of the games that are sold off on that platform.
#roblox pressure#pressure roblox#DNI if youre someone who has ever attacked the devs OR the fans#especially if you're a zerum hater yall honestly scare me#man theres a reason i never get into new fandoms and just stuck with the ones ive been in since i was 12#theres always gonna be bad people in fandoms. thats sorta inevitable with large groups of people.#but this is just fuckin ridiculous#like what happened to just ignoring canon and doing your own thing. why are we attacking the people who made the character we love so much?#if a fictional character makes you feel so strongly that you have to threaten and harrass real people you need to seriously get help#im saying this as an autistic person who gets incredibly attached to fictional characters and can get easily jealous over em#yall ever heard of the block button? its great#god. pressure could've been something incredible. it IS something incredible. the story line the plot the world building#but i dont know how its gonna recover from this. IF it even will#i honestly just hope the devs take care of themselves
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Im 2 hours and a half away from debating infront of my class for 30 minutes. Im so fucked
#school sucks#im so scared#kill me please#I dont think Im prepared enough#My team did a practice round and I was imedietly stumped#how tf am I gonna defende animal experimentacion when the oposicion pulls out the blind rabbit photos#theres not come back for that#I cant even call them out for using PETA as a sorce cause most of the shit are either unrelated or rumors#I have like 3 pages of shit#I dont wanna talk#ahhhhh#30 minutes ÷ 4 = 7:30#plus what the moderater has to say for like 5-6 minutes#25 ÷ 4 = 6:15#so I have to at least talk for that long#if I dont get stumped#god I hope I dont get stumped#is this a rant?#dose this count as a rant post if its in the tags?#ok whatever#rant#anyways#ughhhhh#I hope you liked my mental break down#it'll be here for the next 2 hours
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“Hello! You there, in the cot. I know you’re feeling sleepy, but I wonder if you’d mind taking a brief survey. I’m sure it will make you feel right as rain. Five questions.”
There’s a crackling over the speaker. Or maybe it’s in his head. Everything feels at once itchy and gloopy. He tries to sit up as the speaker fizzes, there’s mumbling on the other side but it’s indistinguishable as language.
“Where am I?” The man asks, pushing up from the bare cot, looking around the room which seems to be made up of concrete walls and little else.
“Close, the first question is actually: who are you?”
Where was it coming from? The voice seemed to echo off all of the walls, its source at the moment unknowable. The man jumps off the cot, barely that - it’s only some green canvas stretched over a metal frame, an intense prickling filling his brain and sinking down his spine. What was that called? Anxiety. This wasn’t right.
“What is this place, where am I?” He asks again, pacing the room. There’s one exit. A metal door set into the concrete walls. Beside it a black panel with dozens of tiny holes. The speaker. Beside the cot he woke up on there’s a chair made of metal. Florescent lights beam from the ceiling causing the man to squint as he zeros in on the speaker grill. He nearly trips over his feet reaching for the door. He tries the handle, it doesn’t budge. He pulls. Nothing. Pushes. More of the same. Not even any give in the hinges or lock. Whatever was holding it in place wasn’t something he could get past.
“Who are you?”
Calm down, breathe. The man tries to order his thoughts into rationality, fighting the building rage and stress that's filling his entire body. Find out what they want, if you can give it to them then you may make it out alive. If you can’t… convince them you can. The man analyses the voice. Young, most likely male, tone what could be called chipper. It doesn’t seem threatening, or deceptive. Still best to be cautious.
“Who are you?” The voice comes once more, some of the cheerful edge is dulled this time, like it expected an answer by now and doesn’t know why it’s not getting a response. Like turning on the radio and expecting a song but only getting static when everything seems to be in working order.
Play along for now, the man thinks. He goes to answer, only to find out he can’t. Nothing’s physically stopping him, there’s air in his lungs and his lips are free to move. But he can’t answer. The simplest of questions, he reaches for the information in his brain and it’s just- gone. He clamps his jaw shut, teeth clicking together. His veins turn to ice.
What the hell is going on here.
“If you can’t answer, feel free to say unknown.”
He needs to get out. He needs to get to- Make sure- Is safe- It’s his job to- Home is-
There’s only one way out of this room, built of concrete and smelling of freshly printed pages and antiseptic (how does he know that?) and it’s through that door. Whoever is talking through the speaker can open it. He picks up his hat and runs a hand through his sandy blonde hair.
“I don’t know.” The man says, voice floating out of him like it doesn’t even belong to him. Maybe it doesn’t, how would he know?
“Unknown. Okay. Second question, in which US state or territory were you born?” He reaches for it. Nothing again. The ice in his veins spreads again, as the anxiety builds. His breath speeds up and his fists clench. He takes a step back from the door. Stay calm. He shakes his head. They must be watching him because the voice goes on.
“Unknown! Great.” Some of the chipperness has returned. He didn’t notice the round black bump above the door before, like a beady eye staring him down. How does he know that it’s a camera? He’s never seen one before, but he knows exactly what it is and what it does. The urge to run begins to overwhelm him the longer this goes on. His stomach twists with nausea. Commonly caused by motion sickness, intense pain, early pregnancy, food poisoning, various enteroviruses or in this case emotional distress.
“Question three, please name any US state or territory.”
“Uh- I don’t know… Delaware.” Delaware? Where did that come from? What else? Georgia. Iowa. Alaska.
“Delaware.”
New York, California, Virginia, New Mexico.
“Question four, what is Mr. Eagan’s favourite breakfast?”
Illinois, Rhode Island, Texas, Idaho. There’s another voice in the background, one he hasn’t heard up until now. It’s deeper, exasperated. God, he thinks it says. The chipper voice ignores it. So there’s someone else there. Maybe someone higher up, someone in charge?
“I don’t know who that is.” He reaches for the handle of the door again and jiggles it futilely. “Maybe we can have a conversation and you can tell me face to face.”
“I’d love to chat with you, after we finish the survey.”
He lets out a terse laugh, a smile tightening his lips - but not with amusement. The action feels familiar.
“And would you look at that, we’re on the final question! To the best of your memory, what is or was the colour of your mother’s eyes?” Does he even have a mother? He must. Everyone has a mother. The nausea threatens to take over and the man turns around looking for a bucket or a trash can. There’s nothing but the cot and the chair. He stumbles towards them.
“I don’t remember.”
“Unknown! Wow!”
“What the hell is this?”
“Unknown, unknown, Delaware, unknown and unknown right?”
“Look if you don’t tell me what the hell I’m doing here I-“
The door swings open and out of it comes a kid who can’t be older than 17, holding a clipboard and grinning behind large circular glasses.
“Gee sir, you got a perfect score! And quicker than most too, that first question is usually what really trips people up but you done it just swell.”
#mash#fanfiction#severance#bj hunnicutt#radar o'reilly#ah okay so i know i did a poll and the creepy creature is winning but i just wanted to get a bit of this down so i dont forget#and yes if you didnt know the man in this is BJ#i can only write mash fic from his perspective for some reason idk hawkeye scares me lmao#this is i guess the first part of what would be the first chapter? idk maybe it will be nothing but enjoy it anyway#it would be eventual hunnihawk bc i cant not have a romantic angle but i think it would mostly be a bj character study in a severance au#anyway enjoy this bit and let me know if u want more#also if you have something that would work better for the mr eagan breakfast question#im gonna change that bit anyway i just couldnt come up with anything yet#mine
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compilation of my other fav palette challenges from the years past... i should do them again sometime......
chara #9 belongs to @askbookwormflareon
#granted theres a glaring issue in one of them#i am not pointing it out lest you end up noticing it when you wouldnt normally~#my art#art q#digital painting#oc#mew#pokemon#purrloin#also i put in my request for availability change#apparently they can reject it...#i just cited second job as reason as to why i need mondays off now#my manager is gonna be super pissed tho cuz they always get mad at everyone who changes their availability#but like i mentally cant keep up with the randomised schedule#esp when i could find out the day before my day off that its my only day i can do comms#i dont have enough time to work my schedule for that w chores and having to go buy food or cat food etc etc#it will come into effect start of next month if they accept it#if they dont then ill just keep resubmitting until they write me upfor it lol idk#i was even nice and specifically asked other higher up staff what the best day to ask off was so it didnt hurt them too bad#but i ranted in stream the other day how like im not responsible for if the store gets fucked just cuz i took one day off my schedule yanno#its not my job to keep that from happening#also im part time and if i was full time id still have 2 guaranteed days off so like ??? idk#scared abt getting the cold shoulder and whatnot the next few weeks from the manager tho#also i stayed up till 4am by accident#and got up at 8am anyways#wish my ass luck
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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)
but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.
the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore
#talkys#my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading#to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want#to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing#never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it#nothing seems very worth it#im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true#well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's#moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai#delete later#even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions#my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years#and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came#im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that#<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave#and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever#and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l
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Amazing, take some of the side character demons from Evil Bound.
Vincie is a menace to Chuck and Chuck alone so in Hell, Chuck hexes his hand behind his back so that he isn't grabbed as much (and it's harder to pet him). Chuck is like the most irresponsible older sibling ever to demons though so Kelvin recruits him (as an older sibling vibe) to go help him get his ACTUAL older sibling from Earth. Chuck agrees. And then drags Vincie from Hell with them because no one else wants to babysit him and he refuses to unbind the hex just to re-hex when he returns to Hell.
In Hell, Kelvin actually doesn't appear much different than his human form! Like Kronos, the lines under his eyes are red in Hell but black on earth. Chuck however? In Hell he has wolf-ish ears and has a fur lining his neck (note the neck scars in human form). In addition to that he has four eyes in Hell (note the scars under his eyes in human form). Vincie just has horns in Hell. And! In Hell the hex doesn't have a silly looking "tied up" look, it's invisible unless Vincie strains it with movement and then its red text. But it shifts on earth to be visible.
Vincie's biggest agony for the entirety on earth is "dude it's colder here than in Hell I want a jacket to slip my arms into BUT I CANT BECAUSE IM BOUND".
#my characters#amazing show stopping rng wheel thanks#i have my oc plots on a wheel - thats 80 different options! wow! - and spun it#i spun twice and the first time it was the bodyguard plot that i drew a few days ago#the second time was evil bound#i genuinely think it new its a bad day and im not doing well so it took it easy on me with things id done recently#anyway ive never colored kelvin before which i realized today#i only have pencil art of him#also fun fact about their lil earth adventures#they fucking fail horrifically the first time they go and kronos doesnt go back#then they go back to try and get him to forcefully bring him back and theeeeen shit hits the fan#and so vincie is vibing with tolliver since hes basically useless without hands and then oops!#no more hex! and so he starts to get really super scared and tolliver is like uh isnt that a good thing your hands are free now#and vincie is horrified because the only way to break a hex from a distance is if the caster is near dead or dead#and if thats the case chuck is probably dead and that means what if kronos and kelvin are dead#how is he gonna get back to hell alone and is HE going to get punished for it#but then kronos and kelvin show up and take vincie back to hell with the not breathing chuck#but its fine in the end bc the succubi bring him back to ... life ? question mark? anyway hes revived#but vincie does have a part where hes just crying in tollivers apartment bc he thinks hes gonna be punished#for not helping the other demons and then they died#but chuck dying is basically why kronos goes back to hell - he feels responsible (hes at fault so good for him to own up)#vincie is one of the very few demons who doesnt have dark sclera#chuck vincie and kronos all have black sclera while the succubi have gray#i dont think there was ever a reason for it tbh i should make up a reason#time to go lie down and not exist the rest of the night if i can avoid it
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ily trans women if anyone is ever mean to you come get me and ill beat them up with the force of a thousand suns. as one of the greats once said, i would light myself on fire to make on woman warm
#i am a woman appreciator but they scare me bc all of them are so pretty :(#wallys warblings#wrote this after i saw someone i thought was chill be really fuckin rude to trans women. like trans women are just as much if not MORE#a woman as the rest of them all#they had to fight to get where they are idc if they arent “gender conforming” they dont have to be !!!!!!! women can do what they want for#ever 😡😡😡😡 justice for women#im yapping because i need people to be nice to women#esp trans poc women they deserve the world . and all of em deserve 2 live in a world that loves them#if i was rich id give it to women SORRY thems the breaks pal#and also buying autism items but thats a secondary thing#AUGHH SORRY I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS#is this a disrespectful post??? im suddenly very scared 😭 am i gonna be thrown in a river
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I have the brain of a fallow deer i think because when i look at my beloved wrestleboys (or really any incredibly huge buff person) i feel the instinctive response in my brain of holy fuck this guy could eat me. Like i am some sort of prey animal. What's wrong with me. It contributes to the sense of awe when watching the sport but it's also another sign to never ever ever go to real life events lest i bolt in panic and dash in front of a passing Subaru.
#jay talkin#huge doesnt have to mean tall either the guy i am most often thinking abt is nearly 2 inches shorter than me#just buff as shit yknow. but its true u look st ppl like that n yr like holy shit#i rlly havent been around ppl w that kind of physique ever so it kinda awe strikes me n sets off like#the brain firing on so many different weird cylinders#i grew up watching worlds strongest man competitions so its not a NEW sensation i just still think its funny#my little frightened brain goes wow i am looking at an apex predator im gonna get hunted#and i go wow thats so awesome. well anyways i wanna look like him and also fuck him. enjoy that combo of thoughts#i'm like a fallow deer if the deer was fucking faggy as shit and gay for the wolf it glimpsed one time#oh i dont think im making much sense. i feel very woozy the sickness bug got me weird#but yeah yknow sometimes u see giant dudes and u go fucking christ. wow. u are so outside of what everyday ppl around me look like#like i wanna be you i think yr hot i also kind of just wanna compare to u like lemme touch lemme just. see#the difference. yknow. yknow. not even always hornily ok. just curious. but also i feel like u can eat me and thats scary#anyway whatever (runs off embarrased) kyaaaa (trips over own enormous dick and falls into vat of liquid steel)#also no please don't analyse this as 'well its bc yr scared of men' i super am not its not a gender thing#does not apply to my life experiences. i'm scared of deep water and large bouncy castles if theyre enclosed. ok.
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booked a hotel and got the concert ticket aghhhh
#i talk#still gotta get the train ticket too but mannn i get way too worked up over this stuff#been procrastinating it for like a month now like i Want to go but there are so many unknown variables and that shit is scary#first time going to a concert in another country alone and i spent a lil more than i wouldve wanted but hopefully its gonna be worth it#and like im most likely completely overthinking this (as i do most things) and everythings gonna be completely fine#but ahh so many what if's so much uncertainty#but im also excited its like a tiny step outside of my comfort zone and you gotta start somewhere bc id love to travel alone more#(mostly bc i wanna travel but dont have anyone to go with but thats a whole other thing)#and ive been rly into this band for a few years now and i really want this chance to see them live bc theres prob not gonna be another one#(watch them come to my city next year lmaoo)#god im not made for this but do it scared!! do it alone!! i want to experience more things in life!!#ive literally talked to my therapist about this extensively and to several coworkers and everyones like do it! its a great first step!#went through every thing that could go wrong (but very likely will not) and alternatives for every situation
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I'm kinda baffled that I've only seen one Callum Crown ask blog so far. And it's... wildly out of character if I'm even allowed to say so. It must've been made before we got all this information on him or by someone who just doesn't know much about him. I don't mean to sound rude in any degree, I'm just surprised, is all.
(Please, someone make an actual callum ask blog, or I may have to do it myself. Which I am admittedly scared to do so.)
#dusty yaps#i would opt to make my own callum ask blog but#i am also dreadfully afraid of makin him out of character#i also dont know enough about him to confidently say i could pull this off#not to mention i already have a tobias ask blog that ive been neglectin#but it would be kinda funny nonetheless#every time i see that callum blog a piece of me dies inside#HE WOULD NOT FUCKIN SAY THAT!!!#i say#not knowin exactly what he would say either#BUT HED BE MORE RESPECTFUL THAN THAT#sorryyyy#the demons are gettin me#i dont even know if that blog is supposed to be callum durin his presidency#or after#its so inconsistent#sorry i just hate to see people get my fave characters wrong#but sayin that makes me feel like an ass#im scared people are gonna think im some self conceited guy who thinks he knows better than everyone else#aauuuhggghhh THE DEMONS
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i should get off tumblr and do something with my life. starting tomorrow ofc.
#i only have like like a month of being 22 left. what am i gonna do#i dont want to be 23 there's so much pressure on being 23#so many fun people died at 23 like. uh. don carlo??????????#anyway. terrified. what do you mean i only get this one life and i cannot start over this is so stupid#like im not scared of dying im scared of what im gonna do if i choose NOT to. never planned this far ahead i feel so stupid 💀
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sometimes this kink makes me feel so guilty and i wish i didn’t have it
#snz blog#snz kink#snzblr#like i dont wanna talk about myself being sick cause im scared im gonna get judged#i try to be so careful about getting other people sick and i test every time i get sick but i just feel guilty#i don’t even know the point of this i just feel guilty and bad that i have this kink sometimes#i don’t know what this post even is probsvh my sleep deprived brain being dumb#i’m just worried people are judging me and coming to conclusions that i’m careless with other peoples health snd i swear im not#that’s it lol my brain is working overtime
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