#im so sad they wont get to meet | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sunsetzer · 1 year ago

Text

#there are so many parallels between terra and clive #im so sad they wont get to meet #and confused #i am distraught #and disappointed #the in game notice just said they cant bring us the experience we expect anymore and im???#wdym you cant square did you lay off the devs or smth #i have over 300 hours in dffoo :')#it's what got me into ff as a whole :'')#theyd better fill the void with another dissidia entry at some point is2g #nothing else has its energy #i think id feel better if i actually knew why and it wasnt just... a vague statement #this hurts on a personal level i did not think possible #must be how the club penguin players went when the game shut down #my post #dffoo #dissidia #final fantasy #dissidia final fantasy

12 notes · View notes

itsseriouslyridiculous · 23 days ago

Text

I really hate how my physical body looks so so so much. unfortunately there isn't much I can do about it.

#ive got fat genetics from both parents families going back generations and ive been trying to lose weight forever #my stupod body likes being fat i can excercise like crazy and eat barely anything and i wont lose anything #i was excercising 2+ hours a day before i got sick and it made me stronger but i.stayed fat. now that im sick im weak and still fat.#and im not the kind of fat anybody can find pretty. if i could somehow not be fat id be decent to look at my face isnt bad #my skin is bad though my skin sucks #in my eyes im disgusting #and its so messed up because i dont think other fat people are gross #but i hate how i look so much that i cant imagine anyone being okay with it #like no matter how kind and understanding and sweet i am to people its never gonna make up for the fact that my body is grossly ugly #and i cant blame anyone for not liking me i get it.#sorry #this is a problem i have #bacause i just usually pretend my body doesnt exist and i wear pretty loose fitting dresses that cover me completely so but #even though i am what i am #sometimes you happen to meet a nice person and they are polite and dont seem disgusted by your existance so then your traitorous brain t #thinks hey maybe this person would be willing to marry us someday if they got to know us. which is so silly becuz theres no way thatd ever #so it makes me sad when i should be happy that a nice person talked to me. yay good job successful friendlyness. but it has to remind me #that i had this expectation from when i was a kid that id marry somone and have at least 3 kids and love my kids and take care of them and #give them everything i needed when i was a kid. and of course that never happened. because i never dated anyone. because people dont just #magically get married out of nowhere. its stupid. so i keep trying to be okay with whatever. but i guess i never stopped wanting a family.#which we know im aroace now so. i need to stop. but my brain is always bothering me about this.#why can't i just accept that no one will ever love me. why cant i be happy that they dont?#ive got cats #someday i will have irl friends again #sorry i think everything would be so much easier if i was just #this isnt a problem with an easy solutiom #i guess im gonna try to do the useless excercises again because at least it will look like im trying even though nothing will change

4 notes · View notes

dockaspbrak · 5 months ago

Text

Prayer circle!!!!!!! Im abt to go write w someone i hope i fucking can write smth

#i have rhis friend from college who asks to get coffee w me about once a month and write #but she doesnt always write when we meet up sometimes its. difficult yakno #so itll probably be fine if i cant #its. slightly awkward i guess im so unsocialized and weird #i mean im sure thats obvious #😵‍💫last time she kinda walked away after i spent 10 minutes pitching her a story so lowkey ive been dodging her #guhhhhhhhhhhh im just sad i guess #i could write more of that last fic i was working on instead of oc shit #depressed eddie........👀#i also hate that humans need 3 meals a day but i know if i dont eat before i go i wont eat til 6 #then what??? HEADACHE we all know it my god stop doing this em #em yaps

5 notes · View notes

the-kipsabian · 10 months ago

Text

i just think seeing kip would fix me

you know??

#going through it again tonight fellas #i watched one vlog with him and i miss him so much. him and his stupid genuinely kind ass #i hate it. i hate knowing hes not gonna be on anything and anywhere he would be i wont get to to see him in person and im just #just being able to communicate over twitch isnt the same. like yeah i appreciate it and the rest of social media #but its not the same as seeing him in character or meeting him in person #i just. miss it. both of those things #sigh. im just tired i wanna experience things again ;;#i hate being broke and sad and so far away from everything and everyone it fucking sucks ;;#box thoughts

11 notes · View notes

mejomonster · 10 months ago

Text

I would like. To be in mutual love

#rant #yeah...#...........................................................................................................................................#look its like this. im chronically ill. i know its not totally up to me i cant go out 1-3 times a week trying ro meet ppl. i know i #cant even eat some days my tummy too upset. cant work some days cant even sit up. can barely keep up witj friends i already have #and i know the being drained wont get better. i might be this sick forever. and i know im prioritizing my own art over #meetjng strangers. thats a choice. i know its my own fault im lonely. i also just. i wanna build a relationship #that long term where u meet and become friends then best friends then fall in love and hey if ur lucky marry ur best friend #and i know that wont come from forcing myself on dates w ppl i dont like. i know no ones ever liked me before #i know i havent felt attraction in years anyway. i miss having a crush. but i suppose itd be sad anyway. to crush and not be liked back #to feel ill need to wait another 5 years for another rare crush. i dont believe in fate i dont think. so i might not ever #kiss someoje i like. i might not get lucky and hold a crushs hand. spend months or years with someone like that #i just. i hate so much romance isnt like skills. i cant just date 1x a week until i run into love #i cant even find 1 person a month to crush on let alone ask out. cause the feelings are luck too #luck of who u run into even if u go tl events. even wuen i had 10k tinder matches the only date #the only person who respjded. was someone with a gf who didnt have much in common with me and me not mucj w them and it #was just not enough click to even make a friend #god it makes me sad. id like to kiss someone special. hold their hand. hear em talk hours #i have friends and love em but i dont wanna kiss a friend. i just dont feel romancy very much.

6 notes · View notes

phagodyke · 3 months ago

Text

ah shit only just realised its september now.... lets hope the rest of this month isn't like this.....

#just med shit innit. gonna force myself up at my usual work time even tho i have the day off bc I need to be in my routine or ill lose it #i am. very tired and very sad. and thats ok generally im ok ive been keeping myself so busy for weeks and weeks #and im glad im going out n doing shit often n meeting new ppl n trying to focus more on hobbies n get more on the life balance #but whenever i have a moment to stop i still get so sad. ik exactly why theyre all just old aches n wounds i dont want to wallow in them!!#lately its been well under control i only usually have one actual bad day a week and sometimes its not even a whole day #and the rest im.just busy and i dont know if im just avoiding things and its not satisfying being busy bc im still missing out needs #but i cant fulfil them so might as well stay busy and not think about it!!#and its okay its all okay im just so sad right now :-( but im going to sleep soon and then ill be busy tmr so i dont have to think abt it #i wanna ventpost abt it but also i dont rly want to bc findinf the words to talk abt the things distressing me involves thinking abt it #which will just.make me feel worse. and it wont resolve anything bc its all mostly outside of my control anyway just hurts innit #but im trying hard to make my life bigger than it was before even if its still shallow and not quite enough at least it covers more space #yeah yeah we all want to feel genuine connection and wanted and loved but life doesnt often work out like that so.#hands in your pockets player keep it moving. im goiny to brush my teeth and then rly need to go to bed zzzzz #.diaries #hope everyone else had a nice weekend i had a pretty good saturday at least. and played a lot of videogames today so could be worse #very glad i dont have work tomorrow as well thank u past me for booking it off ahh..

2 notes · View notes

leecherish · 1 year ago

Text

.

#so. the choir is over #the choir i was the member of since 2016 #the conductor wrote us a letter about the reasons why. and i have many complex feelings about it #most if not all of them are negative #rly the only positive thing is that if i get accepted into the uni choir (audition on the 3rd of october) i wont have to balance rehearshals #everything else is just. sadness. anger. betrayal #it really started hitting today that damn its all real like im grieving for it #a song from our repertoire got stuck in my head but i didn't remember how it went exactly so i got my folder filled with sheets out #and it just. hurt. it hurt to be turning the pages of my concert folder #it all hurts so much.#our would-be last concerts were all cancelled and we did not even know they would be the last one #i wish i could sing with them one last time #we probably will organize a meeting or smth. but right now its still very sudden and fresh and painful #sigh. if you somehow read this all: thank you #for sitting with me for a while.#txt #tbd

13 notes · View notes

orcelito · 4 months ago

Text

I'm genuinely so excited for gencon, it made me do my homework early and I'm gonna do my exam today. So that it won't risk getting in the way of gencon.

Things I'm going to do that I'm most excited about:

Combat Classes for: sword, knife, longsword, saber, kendo, And rogue stage fighting

Introduction to dice making class

Panel on Eberron With Keith Baker AND it'll give out a commemorative d20 as part of it

Panel with critical role artists (not the players themselves, but people who work on the comics and such)

TAZ book launch event for the latest comic book WITH copies of said comic book handed out as part of it

McElroy TTRPG liveplay panel

Signing & selfie with the McElroys (Minus Justin lol)

And those are just the panels!!! Not even all of them. I also have panels for making a hollow book box, making a dice set bracelet, and a panel on gamemaster & writing (specifically bridging between being a gamemaster and being a writer, which is great for me, the writer who wants to gm at some point)

There's also going to be the merch room (so many DIIIIIICE) and assorted other open things. The biggest tabletop gaming convention in North America!!!!!!! I'm PUMPED!!!!!!!!!

#speculation nation #im still a little sad the critical role players wont be here this year. theyve attended in the past.#but that's ok!! still plenty of other things to do. and im excited about meeting the mcelroys in person hfkshfkd #actually a little nervous about that one. i havent been as interactive with their stuff in recent years #but im still an old TAZ fan and have enjoyed their stuff since 2016. that's so long ago!!!! i'm gonna die!!!!!#hfkshfkd my thursday is the most busy. 7 panels that day alone. out of a total of 15 across 4 days.#aka i have Almost half of all my panels just in one day. i will be a busy bee. thats why im gonna pack food lol.#im just vibrating. my first gencon!!! it's so exciting!!!#and im excited about getting personal experience with combat forms for enriching my action writing #and im excited about getting a preview for dice making bc that's smth ive wanted to get into for years now!!!!#and im also just thinking about how many Fucking dice there will be. my personal wonderland.#my sister mentioned that there will be a section for miniatures Specifically the maps that will be used in games later #which will be so fun to look at. i love looking at cool miniature models.#im going to be kind of obnoxious maybe hfkshfkd so im sorry if ppl dont care about my con happenings.#but i havent been to a convention since 2019 and i am EXCITED!!! WAHOO!!!!!!!

4 notes · View notes

cinnabeat · 5 months ago

Text

im having emotions abt vanitas again

#id be so sad if he doesnt show up in kh4 #or SOMETHING #still manifesting sora streli vani trio in kh4 #like trust me itll totally happen #tbh thats like my fantasy dream team #like that would be REALLY COOL if it happened but it likely wouldnt cuz three keyblade wielders in your party is Not It #they refuse to put a keyblade weilder in ur party in literally every game they wont do it now #unless youre playing as fucking #riku or aqua? cuz i think they usually party up with mickey when you play them?? i think thats the only instance but like obvs an outlier #gotta give the rat screentime SOMEhow #that trio probably wont happen hut im still manifesting vani showing up in quadratun #please it would be sooooo good #i literally dont know where you could take his story after kh3 tbh #im still mad abt kh3 actually like how they treated his character #although that might be a case of like the vanitas in my head not matching the vanitas in canon #idk that requjres thinking and deep introspection of how i view vanitas as a character and if that matches up with canon #which is a lot of thinking i dont want to do <3 #i think my original beef was with the time travel aspect of vanitas coming back which makes like literally all his screen time null and void #in regards to how it affects himself #how his actions affect wveryone else still matters bc it still happens but the rules of time travel mean vanitas himself is still the same a #as bbs vani. but whatever #thatd be so funny if vani IS in kh4 and sora pops up like oh hey vanitas :) abd vanitas is like who the FUCK are you #please take this all with a grain if salt i havent thought abt kh3 in so long probably misremembering my vanitas lore #ANYWAYS the point i was trying to get to is that the sora/streli/vani trio is my fantasy dream team but what i really want kh4 to be like na #narratively speaking i need kh4 to be the lonliest fucking game in the world #i need sora to be by himself going thru the workds meeting new people and gaining new connections but no ones really by his side #i need sora to really marinate in being alone for the first time in like. how long has it been. like 12/13 years????#i need hin to learn to stand up for himself or something. i just need him to be lonely as fuck and that means no party members #that doesnt keep up with the numbered title game formats but its ok #michi tag

2 notes · View notes

generationa1trauma · 6 months ago

Text

currently struggling w the concept that the community i so desperately want to be a part of relies heavily on talent and always involves some level of rejection through auditions

#my desire for just. community in general vs the undeniable fact that i am not really cut out for this #it does not matter how much i love theatre or performing bc love of the game is not enough #if u do not have the connections or a groundbreaking talent it just wont happen #and like. yeah there's crew and front of house and other ways to be involved but they just inevitably dont feel like part of it #because you come in days or hours before the show opens and these people have been together so much longer and have bonds formed #i am just. i do not have bonds formed in my real life w basically anyone. and its so difficult to form bonds as an adult #finding people who are open to new friendships is hard enough but by also being trans and autistic its just #its so hard meeting people as is but theres also the undeniable fact that a lot of people just wont accept me #and it sucks!! i just want friends!!!!#i just want. people who want to spend time with me and get to know me and put in effort #and i want a relationship but thats even harder than friendship really #not to sad post on main i may delete this but god i am just so lonely and me not being online is not because i have people #it just feels like everything is out of reach and its exhausting #it feels like ive missed out on core years of my life and im behind everyone and i don't know how to fix it #negative cw #god #anyway the show im watching is great everyone is talented but one girl did forget the words and go silent for a whole verse of her solo song

4 notes · View notes

nopeferatu · 2 years ago

Text

i wish brokeback mountain fics entertained the idea that jack knocked lureen up and thats why they got married more often

cause in the short story jack mentions the fact that he'd never wanted kids or anything like that, so i think its highly plausible that bad luck jack, whos life never seems to go the way he wants it to, would fool around with some rodeo queen one night and he winds up getting her pregnant. and what else can he do but marry her? he's been taught to do the respectable thing, and her daddy would probably find and gut him if he sullied his little girl's reputation and left her to deal w it on her own anyways.

but i just think it would add an extra layer of sadness to it all...the idea that jack, whos pretty much only interested in men, probably only messed around with lureen because he was pent up and lonely and sexually frustrated, and heres this beautiful, rich rodeo cowgirl whos giving this poor ranch boy the eyes and making him feel wanted for once in his sorry godamn life. making him feel like someone sees something worthwhile about him. he doesn't prefer a woman, but he's desperate, and she chose him. she could've had her pick of the bar because shes a big deal and any man would've been lucky to have her, but she chose him.

and now this thing—that was supposed to just be a quick fuck in the backseat of her car to help quell the need for human contact until the next motel cowboy came along—is going to define his entire life.

hes going to do right by her and get married. shes going to have his kid. hes going to be a dad.

his whole life has been laid out before him and the one time he said fuck it and had sex with a woman is all it took for everything to be set in stone. its just so. fucking. sad.

#i think jack is such a sad character #a lot of fics lean into this idea of his endless optimism driving him to think that things could really go his way if he tried hard enough #despite getting the short end of the stick time and time again and its just like. ughhhh its just so heart breaking #i forget where i read this descriptiom at but it said #smth like his perserverence is what keeps getting him back on the bull every time he hits the ground because he knows what he wants and he #believes that if he just keeps trying he can wrangle life and make it bend to his will #and its just like :( like life just delt that boy such an unfair hand and he still didnt bend to it. he still felt like things could still #go his way till the very end. i feel like his hope may have wavered for awhile there after he mistook ennis' divorce for the sign that they #were finally gonna start a life together #but finally after his final meeting w ennis he just realized he was holding onto a lost cause and finally said fuck it. im gonna take life #into my own hands and im gonna try and get his new guy to come up with me and maybe it wont be the guy that i really want but maybe #i can grow to love him and finally stop living this half life. and just as hes about to try and make that happen he dies #guhhhhhhh #still brokeback posting #brokeback mountain

30 notes · View notes

nopeleavemealoone · 1 year ago

Text

I wrote out the plot to an entire novel a few months ago but the problem is its a romance and I didnt want to start writing a novel about two guys falling in love when i am finnicky about the romance media I consume but the motivation hit and I just wrote twelve pages feeling great

#Its about a guy whos miserable because hes just sure hes about to die at any given moment so hes a depressed prick to everyone #X the guy who calls him out and helped him stop feeling so depressed #The first guy to be fair has a valid point to be so sad he has a chronic illness #And everyone does actually think he is dead for a second there #But they have a sort of enemies to lovers arc #So far i wrote the beginning of the book which includes their meet cute and then i wrote a scene from the middle of the book a while ago #where the healthy one uses a wheelchair to sneak out the sick one and they have a midnight date in the park #Lets hope the motivation carries on and I wont live with this twelve pages of content for the next six months #I think if I finish it I’ll go ahead and get it published #But if I finished it is a huge “if”#Anyways im just having a lovely time over here #Edit I have a first draft now five months later fuck yeah #Mine

8 notes · View notes

6mayhem · 2 months ago

Text

but i would give anything for just one day spent in the life i had when i was 15. it may not have been perfect but i felt like i belonged somewhere. and i didn't worry so goddamn much about the big picture

#sighhh i miss when my biggest worry was my crush liking me back #i was such a typical teenager in hindsight bc of that #it seems a lifetime ago but it was only 4 years #2 years since we broke up thats crazy. everything changed i built my own life from nothing #im a completely different person #figuratively and literally though i will not use that to excuse my past actions haha #discord was like my whole damn world my center of the universe talking to my friends on there the highlight of my day #we had plans we had goals we had all thse big ideas and things we could do in our free time #now we go days without really talking to each other #in 2020 i said 3 more years and then we meet irl now 2023 is over and i am sure i will never see you. i wouldnt want to see you #i guess adulthood caught up to all of us. okay. most of us #i am just so sentimental #things had purpose back then and i wasnt this afraid #and i loved them #and i had someone who loved me #its fucked up how you dont even realize it wont last forever until its over #i wish it had ended differently. the whole friend group.#sometimes i wish we wouldve stayed friends. but thats just hopeful thinking because in my heart i know there is no way #were too different and theyre too committed to fucking up everything they have always #it makes me sad. makes me think they truly dont feel like they deserve happiness. i am kind of that way too #but i dont complain about losing the people i push away. so thats how were different lol #and i also dont suibait my mentally ill followers every other day because of some drama that only 15 year olds care about #so in that regard thank fuck i grew up. but also. thinking of them reminds me of simpler times #when this petty shit mattered to me. it really doesnt matter to me anymore and i cant get myself to care about anything that happens online #maybe its time for me to leave the internet behind for good. i dont know what its doing for me anymore.#i dont have anything im excited about on my laptop anymore lmao i have to desperately cling for straws for things i could do #to avoid sleep and being alone with my thoughts

0 notes

the-kipsabian · 5 months ago

Text

missing kip hours

#made myself sad lmao #i need someone to restrain me tomorrow so i wont just be looking at meet and greet photos all day tomorrow #im confident in a really weird way that i'll get another chance to meet him one day but also it just makes me sad its gonna take a while #and that im not seeing him anywhere. not on tv and he hasnt streamed in over a month either #(im assuming thats cause he doesnt want to risk having to talk about his absence and coming off wrong about it #or i saw someone saying he might be secretly cooking something which is why we've barely seen him anywhere even on socials)#but yeah just. missing him ough ;;#on the odd chance that someone reads my tags and is at toyhio tomorrow please tell him i miss him terribly ;;#anyways i should probably go to bed im too tired clearly ough #box thoughts

5 notes · View notes

arolesbianism · 2 months ago

Text

I have obtained a new oc and in the process I've already signed myself up for needing to make at least 3 new ocs for his story which he now has despite me initially Intending for him to be a side character for a different side character to hang out with. My townhouse has over 200 characters on it.

#rat rambles #oc posting #he doesn't have an official name yet but he is my silly billy and I love him #also take every him with an asterisk again he's like super new (I just got him today)#although several elements of his story so far have been things Ive been wanting to do for a while so thats a part of why I have so many #ideas for him already since its some stuff I've been wanting to play around with for a while #the real reason he has a chokehold on me rn is that I tripped and made him my 500 thousanth character with identity issues #I <3 characters with a fucked up relationship with their sense of self and what it even means to be themself #oh hes also a magic cat world character because thats what like 90% of my ocs are from at this point lol #and another goop related guy but this time not directly related to every other goop guy #he doesnt interact with any of them or even know most of them exist #long story short hes a robot who used to not be a robot but remembers nothing abt his life before he turned himself into a robot #all he has as reference is a mostly ruined journal his past self kept that is almost entirely unreadable due to it getting soaked in goop #he knows that this was self inflicted and his approximate age but that's abt it in terms of useful information #early story is mostly just him traveling alone trying to see if anyone nearby knows who he is but after going through like 5 or so towns he #starts to get more worried and upset about the whole situation and starts trying to look into some different missing person reports in #hopes that he can find one of himself #he runs out of the savings he had on him pretty quickly though so he had to figure out how to stay afloat while doing his research #'luckily' he meets a man while looking into one case he found who was willing to let him stick around at his place while looking into it #this guy had some investment in these dissapearances because he suspected that they related to his father and hoped to find any sort of #window in what he was up to since he hadnt seen him since he ran away at around 17 #spoilers his dad is cake this is still connected to cake nonsense because everything in this world fucking does but the main boy himself #actually has no ties to cake or his activities so thats smth at least #but yeah long story short things get. real bad for my boy after the first few months of staying at this guy's place.#yknow how risa in the future was often used as a weapon of war using some unstable chemicals? yeah guess where that started.#mr daddy issue haver over here may understand that his dad is a bad person but evidently that doesnt stop him from being not much better #currently Im planning on having main boy escape eventually and get stuck in the non magic world where he meets april but that could change #it depends on if I want him to interact with the other stories going on at all or not #I probably wont but I would like to leave myself some wiggle room to let him meet more side characters #like (looks with big sad wet eyes) ginger maybe? please? please april? let me see your sister? that you havent seen in years? please?

0 notes

mejomonster · 5 months ago

Text

Realized im now afraid of dating

#rant #shame theres no tjerapy for that :/ wjat kinds there are i already kinda went over witj a therapsit twice #its more just. i now feel super sick to my stomacj and terrified when approacjed in a romantic context by a stranger #its FINE if they wanna be friends and we get to know eacj other THEN say if we wanna date #but if a stranger comes up to me like: lets date? fucking makes me sweat and feel awful #maybe its cause im demirokantic demisexual. and know i wont feel particularly butterfly feelkngs or warm or excited #fkr like 3-5 months even if i DO develop a crush. and so tje fear hits: fear theyll break up with me before i even know if i could like them #fear theyll want sex or kissing before i feel atrraction. then break up witj me when im not ready yet #fear ill Pretend to like them just so i can stay with them for 3 months to see if i Could like them romantically #and the idea of Pretending and people pleasing in thqt way makes me sick to my fucking stomach #and then of course: the fear i do finally develop a crush in 3-5 months at which point theyre annoyed i didnt like them as much in #the initial months. so they dump me for someone wholl sleep with them sooner. and im heartbroken for 2-5 years #but mostly im concerned with my irrational fears: that theyll hate that im not able to crush for a few months IF ever #and they wont commujicate that. and theyll break up almost immediately thinking im cold when im just slow to develop feelings #and then if i liked them As A Friend well ill be SAD. and if we couldve falllen in love i wont know cause i didnt have time to find out #i didnt used to be afraid of all this. but i haveny dated in 5 years so i guess it just has settled in due to lack of practice :c #id rather suffocate than practice tbh. id rather get to know potential dates as FRIENDS for 3 months first ;-;#but ppl dont really wanna do that :c #id really like long term love and sex. but uh. no idea how im going to find it if short term dating scares me this bad #like abxiety attack and not my usual self bad (so they cant even get to know regular ne and see if they like me--they can only meet Anxious #Freajing out scared mejo)

0 notes