#im so miserable rn LOL like its time

[aastarions]

i finally caved and dropped $$$ on an air purifier for my room my dust allergy is getting so out of hand not to be gross/tmi but

snot has been dripping from my nose for the past 20 minutes all because i dusted off my desk today 🙃

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[coridallasmultipass]

Personal vent post, how I tag things, apologies for this probably showing up in search results because I'm not censoring words (do not have the spoons rn)

-

So I'm getting really frustrated (at the situation, not at individual people! Sorry to vague right after getting a request, I was gonna make this post like a week ago) that multiple people have asked me not to tag Bro/Cal reblogs as Stridercest.

Stridercest does not mean incest, it means Strider/Strider relationship. I'm tagging it for followers who don't want to see Strider/Strider at all (or for those who do, too, I guess). On MY blog, it has NO bearing on whether or not something is incest. Lil Cal has been a Strider since Day 1 to me, way before any of the events after Act 6, as a pure vanilla puppet. A Strider by marriage, in my opinion. But I'm not opposed to calculating the amount of Strider that got put in Lil Cal, as I've done before. You also have Dirk/Hal which is also Stridercest, but not incest (at least in canon, sometimes it is incest in fan depictions). Or Guardiancest, which I don't think counts as incest in canon either (but usually always is in fan depictions). Even selfcest between one Strider (beta!Dave/beta!Dave in a time travel situation, for example) is still gonna be Stridercest to me.

The ONLY Stridercest I add the specific ship tag for is Bro/Cal, because that's otp5eva for me, separate from any other Strider stuff (Stridercest probably doesn't even make top 3 HS ships for me). Everything else only gets the blanket Stridercest in reblogs, because I already tag a lot, I don't have the energy to add nuanced tags for weird Strider situations, and whether or not that constitutes incest, or which version of a character it is, especially when the artist/authors don't usually make the difference explicitly stated in their own caption/tags, and sometimes it's vague on purpose! (I'm currently writing a fic where Bro and Dirk are the same person! I'm not gonna make the distinction a big deal.)

It's mostly frustrating because then I have to decide if untagging the relationship as Stridercest is going to make someone else following me uncomfortable who will then see it untagged.

Going forth, I am going to delete whatever reblog I made if I get this request from someone else again. I'm trying to remember names, so I don't reblog any future content that would conflict with their requests, but this has already happened with three people in like the past two weeks. Had to block one person for telling me to die because I tagged "Stridercest" on the post preventatively, as usual, because I care about tagging for my followers. (I literally checked their blog like 3 times to make sure they didn't have a DNI pinned, and I still got told to die for my efforts lmao.)

Literally, please just DM me privately (thank you to the other people who did, sorry for the trouble!), and I will either delete the reblog, or block you if you request that. I'm not TRYING to make people uncomfortable, which is the whole reason why I tag it to begin with.

So, I'm not un-tagging shit anymore, it's delete only from now on. I'm not going against my own blog rules I set both to try and accommodate my followers, and to make searching my blog easier for myself. (Used to not tag anything from like 2011-2016 or later, and I'm still in the process of back-tagging everything, since it's been so frustrating to find old fandom posts.)

[neonsbian]

i think the happiest ive been are the days where id have a set routine and regularly go on walks and do yoga and wrote and i havent been able to get back to that since i started working full time

[arolesbianism]

Man I've gotta be mean more often Im so sick of being polite abt bigotry I should just start killing ppl fr

[burger-louise]

.

[correctthroam]

I read THROAM for the first time in ~5 years. Here's what I have to say.

Volume I: There was so many characters I forgot about when going into the fic. Pete, Jac, Spencers family. I cant believe I forgot them. Pete will always be a fave because everyone hates him and it makes me laugh. The first volume was always my 2nd favorite, I think it still is. overall, the storyline isn't complicated and I like that. Ryan is such an asshole so I dont feel bad for him one bit in any of the fic. Also, I used to say that the bus crash was Brendons fault (I was 13, okay?) But Ryan was just an unstable motherfucker who truly should not be trusted to drive a vehicle of any kind.

Volume II: holy shit. I hate volume two. Not saying the writing is bad but Jesus Christ, Ryan is an asshole. bro literally stalked Brendon after he ran into him at that party like what? I had messaged a friend after finishing volume 2, saying "I'm a really nice person I never wanna make people feel sad, let alone make a whole fictional story about someone being severely depressed and unstable whilst chasing a boy then fucking his bf at the end???" and I think that perfectly sums up how I feel (and always felt) about volume two. other than the fact that I used to say that it was Brendons fault. (I was 13. THIRTEEN) it wasn't his fault. Some parts were, yeah, but it's hard to pinpoint everything that happened on one person. at the end of the day, its a good story I just Hate it (does that make sense) I love it but I hate it? it remains my least favorite purely for the pain it put me through.

Volume III: I love this volume. I always have. Sisky is amazing, we all love Sisky. I will say the iconic song/album references/jokes made me cringe a bit, though. Im not exactly sure what about this fic I always liked so much, I guess you can really see Ryans character growth and finally not be as much as a miserable fuck (he's still unstable dw) Since Ryan is less insufferable, it makes the volume more enjoyable. I like that Spencer and Ryan became friends again, I think it makes the book more enjoyable and tbh I think Spencer rly tied vol 3 together, if he wasn't part of it it would lowk suck. overall, best volume cant wait to host the throam tour where we go to hotel Chelsea then machias.

final thoughts: if I thought throam was 100% good when I was 13, Id say now that I think throam is about 85% good now. (does that make sense pt 2) this fic has sent me back into being 13 and I have been blasting some pretty. odd. (im listening to it rn as im typing this) and listening to this album just makes my life feel more simple. still a solid fic, I think it would be an amazing published book. and I think we can all agree that it would be amazing to see THROAM movies (in our dreams)

Thanks for reading lol

[fallenrain40]

whats dis? i drew victim and their catified version? nah ur just seeing things, this is not real (im lying its very real) i accidently didnt give them a hollow head at first and i had to fix ithgfcvhg rambling below cut

so ive been thinking about victim and the more i think about them the more im like "omg i love this guy" bc they're just like. the most miserable little guy ever and is angry about it. pathetic and sad guy. i would be sad and angry too if i was created to be a victim forever and my name was victim. also i feel like having a terrible mental state rn probably makes me relate to them more LOLZ aNYways- so i absolutely love the idea of victim having a halo since they sort of? died? but not really? most likely its bc of a autosaved backup or something. at least thats what im going with for now. i like to imagine all of their color got sucked up into that halo bc yas slay!!! wait wouldnt it be funny if the longer they are sad the more their color fades and gets sucked into that halo. also cries black tears bc they are literally crying out all their color. maybe if they ever get to be happy the halo would turn white and they'd regain (most) of their color IM SO NORMAL ABOUT VIC GUYS !!!!!!!!!! also. agender victim anyone??? you CANNOT look at this guy and tell me they wouldn't say their gender is "nothing". its just facts. ik i've created like 20 headcanons in the span of a few moments about vic help me. uhmm yeah anyways ty for taking time to read my silly ramblings if u did !!! <3

also i think its hilarious my cat version is more detailed than the stick version LOL

[stranger-rants]

my apologies for the incoming essay, I just think Billy needs more love 🥹

rn im just thinking about Billy sleeping in the Camaro for a few nights after a really bad fight with Neil, except he doesn’t wanna be in the driveway in case Neil decides it’s baseball bat window smashing time, so he parks in the nearest convenience store parking lot and sets up camp for the rainy night with a microwave burrito and a pack of cigarettes. Then he gets thirsty, so he goes to get himself some water, jogging through the rain, but he hears a little squeak, eerily alive, and slips around the back of the store to check it out. It’s a box of puppies, he’s not sure what kind, but they’re all wriggly and crammed inside and crying because they’re alone and cold and sad :( and Billy does NOT want to think about the parallel between them, abandoned by their families and left to cry in the rain, but he can’t just leave the puppies there, either, the rain is starting to soak through their box and they’ll be shivering all night.

So what does Billy ‘I Break Things’ Hargrove do? He picks up the box, hoists it up and lugs it through the rain, right to his car. He’s incredibly lucky to find an old painting tarp shoved under the seat, something he uses to cover it up whenever he parks in the garage because someone has a habit of ‘accidentally’ scratching it. He wraps the soggy box up in the tarp and plops right down into the drivers’ seat with the puppies in his lap, water long forgotten. He cranks up the heat, peering nervously into the box because as little hesitation as he’d had for helping the little things, he’s not very experienced with animals. Neil has definitely never let anything with paws into that house and he was scared of the neighbor’s dog growing up, probably bc it was a big muscly breed and he was just a little kid. He doesn’t really know how to act around animals or interact with them so he just sort of pokes at one of the puppies, one on top of the dog pile that’s looking at him with big shiny eyes. He aims for a head scratch but the puppy’s squirmy, and chomps right down on Billy’s finger. He’s scared for a millisecond, but he realizes the bite doesn’t hurt, and the puppy’s just playing with him. He breaks away with a little breathy chuckle and scratches the puppy behind the ears and the poor little thing just melts, so touch deprived and sad :( maybe he picks the puppy up, testing its weight in his palms, and just marveling at how teeny tiny the little guy is.

He probably is too busy Experiencing his first puppy cuddle to realize the pup is leaning towards his face, and he’s pretty sure his brain rewires when the sweet little puppy licks his nose. He just.. doesn’t get love from anyone. Anyone, people, animals, fuck, the plant he’d tried desperately to keep alive for a few days died miserably like it was taunting him. His first instinct is probably ew, like omg gross there’s spit on my face lol but he looks down at the puppy in mild disgust and sees those big shiny eyes again and he just.. can’t be mad. He’s so entranced with the pup he’s holding that he’s not really paying attention to all the other little ones jumping at the side of the box but a nip to his hand makes him look down, and he’s greeted with a big bunch of other squirmy, yappy puppies, all as sweet as the one he’s cradling. He definitely hand feeds them little chunks of his food, and he tries very hard not to freak out and yell at them when they gnaw all over him like a chew toy and almost rip his jacket. They’re very eager to climb out of the box but he is not ready for wriggly little puppies loose in his car so he manages to contain them until they’re all snoozing, one of them fell asleep with it’s little puppy paws braced against his chest, standing up against the side of the box. He falls asleep right there, sitting up in his driver’s seat with this box of puppies sitting in his lap. He probably wakes up the next morning to a lot of sweet puppy kisses, and he drives around town and the other surrounding areas specifically hunting for a safe, no-kill shelter bc he knows he can’t keep any of them. And if he starts disappearing more, taking more and more frequent trips outside of town? It’s to visit the little puppies, volunteer at the shelter just to hang out with them and make sure they’re doing okay 🥹

Aww 💜

Billy deserves all the puppy cuddles.

[spacedlexi]

sorry if this is a personal question ... 🐛... but what are you doing for college and how did you decide to go for it?

oof

im going to school for animation but im realizing how much i love storyboarding specifically (and how little patience i have for full animating/not having the time i need to make animations that arent quick and stiff to meet a deadline (also i want adobe animate obliterated off the earth)). ive cried about how much i love boarding LMAO its that serious. but i love working with Little Guys and putting them in Situations plus theyre characters i dont have to make up myself?? im adapting a script?? but i might still be able to have fun with it? and as a lover of visual mediums i get really excited about being able to control a camera/composition for Maximum Emotional Effect, plus the idea of leading a viewer through a scene. knowing "rules" and breaking them with purpose. im in an editing class rn thats got me really excited aha

it was NOT an easy choice to make. im going back to school so late because i kept telling myself i shouldnt do it and should pick something non art related but well.... here i am.... (my mom kinda pushed the idea even tho the concept of going into art school debt keeps me up at night 💀)

i stumbled around community college for a few years hoping something else would Click for me but in the end i just kept taking art classes. i knew i would be miserable doing anything else. its still Work but its a kind of work i still derive enjoyment from even when im tired or frustrated. i think i would hate the academia world when it comes to my more scientific interests, and i dont have the patience to put up with the bs of being female presenting in a male dominated field like engineering (plus my math brain got broken by a bad calc teacher so...), so instead im taking those inspirations and using them for my art :) im a little engineer at heart so being able to apply that kind of thinking to my art inspires me (and i hope maybe something i make one day will inspire some scientists too lol). plus i dont think i would be happy if i wasnt surrounded by other artists

i doubt my choices every day 😭 but i really do love it a lot. im hoping that my passion and vision takes me SOMEWHERE in the industry, but its scary for everyone out there right now... i mostly try not to think about it honestly

[mikasuxxx]

hii!! short hc rq—been thinking about 141 + friends with an aggressively american reader like. specifically british people with words like “y’all” and “aint” [harassing them with “y’aint” sounds funny as fuck] and idk teasing them ab the war like. it’s been on my mind all day

Lol i love that. Bet! Also sorry i couldnt do more characters im kinda tired rn so I'll do them later! Thanks for the ask anon!

Soap

would find it funny as fuck

every time you say "yall" or "aint" he cant help but giggle

He laughs whenever youre talking shit about brits and bringing up the revolutionary war

ESPECIALLY if you bring up the (dead) queen. Bro is already on the floor

Tries to put on an american accent. Ends up sounding southern. Seeing this, you try to put on a scottish accent. But fail miserably

Plays the eagle sound effect whenever you enter a room, thinks its the funniest shit ever

Is entertained by watching you argue with price over "soccer" vs "football"

Price

oh he's so done with your shit

Whenever he's winning an argument with you and you KNOW hes winning, you'll switch to a bri'ish accent. Works everytime

Lowkey flinches whenever you say "yall". flinches harder when you say "y'ain't"

Alternativey when youre in an argument you just say "Aint yall's queen dead? Yeah. thats what i thought" and he just gives you a look

Or the revolutionary war.

as mentioned before hes gotten into an argument with you many times over whether its soccer or football

"Its football. You literally kick the BALL with your FOOT." "Okay well its still called soccer idc" "...."

oh hes REALLY not looking forward to seeing you brag in his face after the US vs UK world cup game

"ITS CALLED SOCCER 🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🏈🏈🏈"

"NOBODY EVEN SCORED"

You had him try american beer/alcohol brands in general. He said it tastes like piss

Gaz

Hes also amused by it

buys you cowboy boots as a joke. You end up unironically wearing them all the time

Paid you $5 to say yeehaw as loud as you could. wouldnt stop laughing for like 10 mins after

You taught him how to sing the national anthem. Now whenever hes drink he sings it

Is weirded out but also interested in the different words americans have for random things

challenges you to point out every european country on the world map you challenged him to point out the queens burial sight on the map of england

He started saying yall and aint from being around you for so long

Yall mock each others accent too. all in good fun

Ghost

is annoyed by you

generally doesnt like americans

Really doesnt understand some of the shit americans do/say

will never admit it but he sometimes finds those british slandering jokes kinda funny. like he'll huff out some air

He kinda likes some of the food. you cant blame him tho british food sucks

he thinks there's too much fat and grease in most of the food tho

Tolerates you because you dont slander him as much as the others. And overall on missions you get the job done. so its fair game

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[isatoru]

sora….what monster do you think oliver would be….asking this question only with innocent intentions btw

OMG VIC he's perfect for sooo many lol. given his size and strength....... sorry in advance these are all over the place i just let my train of thought run i'd fuck him as anything rlly. rip

panther oliver probably doesn't count as a monster monster in like?? comparison to other monsters?? (more scary ones out there lol) but he's def my fave. i also want naga oliver... just cuz of that snake panel but recently i've been thinking i Don't think he's 100% got that scary naga potential... does have the Heavy protective qualities of naga tho,, would kidnap you to give you a life you deserve in his eye,, SO IDK but its sexy to me !! lmk what u think

also this is a given since u know How Personal It Gets for me when it comes to werewolves... like werewolf isagi and... werewolf oliver... so big and strong and holds your entire body up with one hand his one arm basically KJAHDFJKH godddddd

but also............ i think vampire oliver has a lot of potential just cuz the idea of him being a little bit silly while also being extremely miserable as immortal and actually longing for company like he tried gaslighting himself into thinking he doesn't actually yearn for it... does things to me bc... you'd sneak into his mansion you thought was abandoned and he's like :O lets you stay even after a while of u not realizing u've been talking to a vampire (yk the trope LOL) the whole time UAGHHFGF becomes so endeared by u.... wants to eat u up like fucking crazyyy... becomes insanely protective of u gradually w/out even realizing thinking that apart of him had died

and uhh minotaur oliver i don't think he would be ??? i don't really see it yet in vision (which is so </3 because i love minotaurs A Lot....) OHHH centaur oliver....!!! (if this is not ur thing im sorry KSDJFK </3)....... dragon oliver im Not Too Sure about... he'd purr really loudly though audfhjfgf

DEMON OLIVER........... OHHH SJDFHSJD like an incubus.............................

yes okay thats all i can think of rn.... lmk if u think otherwise ^_^

[loafbud]

you do know valentine's day is about love in general, right? not strictly romance. i'm arospec and do not give a shit about romance, but i still try to give stuff to my friends that i love to pieces because i'm not a miserable person

EXACTLY. i knew this already, so that's what im saying! it's about love on a universal scale: familiar, platonic, self love, etc. every time i see it in media growing up, I've only ever seen the romantic aspect of it covered, which is where my dumb angst comes from. and my ego just??? idk,, projects like a motherfucker n thinks it's cute to put on an edgy front about it. LMAO.

and i guess that says a WHOOOLE lot about me, huh? me absolutely radiating this self-deprectative energy of asshole-ery. me who's never prioritized my own self-care. so ouch yea, that's a gashing wound labeled "TO DO: LOVE MYSELF" i need to handle in my own personal life instead of letting it dance and frollic on stage. it's like cmon loaf, you've done this show already, just close the fucking curtain already. im talking to myself at this point

i kinda felt this kind of ask coming: an ask that's simply calling it like it is- no hard feelings tho 👍 honestly all of this angst is just past shit/beliefs im holding onto with a fucking super glue gorilla grip. i'll admit that im a fucking miserable, pessimistic dickhead, and it's totally valid that my pessimism or depressive posts comes off annoying as hell. realistically, i can't change overnight, but omfg i cant keep pulling the goddamn "teehee im just a cringefail loser its my ✨personality✨" card as my excuse, im starting to wear myself out LMFAO.

UHHH WOW- sorry for getting ranty or if this context was read like i just let out a bunch of steam lol— well, i did just let out steam but it was all directed to myself, none of it was directed to u anon so you're good

so yeah- i'll go touch grass whenever i can. im waiting til tomorrow tho, it's fucking dark outside rn haha

[xamaxenta]

Hi lifeguard anon here

:3

I’m on break at work rn and my day’s been miserable so far so tell me more

Im about to go to work again for no reason except legally im required and tbh really thinking about saying hey this is a waste of my time ill just not get paid for today lol take unpaid leave or smth

So i feel and hear you anon im sorry its been wretched for you

When can we just do shit we wanna do

Anyway pleas consider Ace doing his cute ace things idk frolicking looking like a snack, teasing everyone with that lil booty of his

And then suddenly he gets scooped up by a perverted tentacle monster!! Who knew the lewd one lived on this same beach

And then Ace is in a predicament 🤭 those tiny shorts wont last long unfortunately

[allylikethecat]

ally!!!! you are so very mean to our poor fictional!matty i believe that u actually enjoy making him suffer

i am not kidding i’m on my period rn and i had to wait to read the update bc i saw how sad everyone was saying it was & i had to wait for all the crazy hormones to stop making me so sad so it wasnt gonna make me cry 💀 this chapter was so so sad and every time you update this fic i love it more and more!

whilst i do not appreciate fictional!george’s reaction (i understand he is overwhelmed & upset ofc but HELLO look @ how pathetic fictional!matty is rn he needs a HUG) i do understand that this was a very big shock and he needs some time to digest (but also hopefully not too much time)… also im just super excited that he KNOWS now lol i fear its only gonna get more intense for fictional!matty

also on the subject of ATKH - THEY’RE SO CUTE AND HAPPY PLS DONT LET FICTIONAL!GEORGE SCREW STUFF UP TOO MUCH … i have realised that rn ATKH is kinda ur only fic where fictional!matty isn’t currently in like the peak of his misery ..yet.

hope you’re doing well !!! 🤍

— 💌💌

Hello My Dear 💌 Anon!

I will admit that I *do* enjoy making poor Fictional!Matty suffer - it makes his happy ending that much sweeter!

Ahhh I'm sorry for hitting you with a sad chapter when the hormones are ~hormone-ing~ I really hope I didn't make you cry! And if I did I am so sorry! BUT I am very happy to hear that despite the sadness you're still enjoying it! I've been having a lot of fun working on it, especially now that I have some direction again!

That was very much *NOT* what Fictional!George was expecting to find out - he was already worrying about Fictional!Matty's delicate sobriety and apparent health issues and then to find out that he is pregnant, when Fictional!George already felt like he took advantage of Fictional!Matty during that encounter?! The guilt is very real and so is the self doubt - a lot of him lashing out at Fictional!Matty was him projecting his own self doubt and panic onto Fictional!Matty- too bad Fictional!Matty doesn't know that and also that is extremely unfair of him... but at least he KNOWS now! Fictional!Matty's secret is out in the open now! He just now needs to figure out how to tell his Mother...

Hey Infection Verse Matty isn't *that* miserable at the moment! Like yes, when we left him in the Christmas Fic he did have a stomach ulcer BUT he had just gotten engaged which was very exciting! All The King's Horses Fictional!Matty and Fictional!George are very cute and happy at the moment though. Hopefully Friday's chapter will make up for how sad the Ducklings update was. ATKH is currently my FAVORITE fic that I'm working on and I can't wait for y'all to see how their story continues to unfold! (There is a very special cameo in Friday's chapter as well that you'll recognize if you follow me here on Tumblr lol)

Thank you so much for reading and for the continued support! I'm sorry to have caused emotional pain with the Ducklings update but hopefully the ATKH update will make up for it! I hope you had a wonderful Wednesday and that you have a great rest of the week!

❤️Ally