#existing

[lizzygrantsadgirlblogger]

[andoutofharm]

i care about ray toro more than many other things in this life

[user-boxer]

This user exists for some reason

Requested by: @v4ishii

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Literally me…

The Autistic Teacher

[youcantf1ndher]

[csms-jpg]

Feels like summer 23.07.2024.

[makaelachanese]

I’m Unworthy.

I’m unworthy..

I’m unworthy of having a home.

I’m unworthy of having a safe place.

I’m unworthy of having food.

I’m unworthy of having an apartment.

I’m unworthy to live a decent life.

I’m unworthy to live a normal life.

I’m unworthy to keep or be kept.

I’m unworthy to money.

I’m too unworthy to be important to anyone.

I’m unworthy of having stability.

I’m unworthy of love.

I’m unworthy of family.

I’m unworthy of friends.

I’m unworthy of peace.

I’m unworthy of a car.

I’m unworthy of a good job.

I’m unworthy of comfort.

I’m unworthy of clothes.

I’m unworthy to society.

I’m unworthy of life.

I’m unworthy of a healthy mental.

I’m unworthy to God.

I’m unworthy to the Devil.

I’m unworthy to everyone and everything I come across.

So why am I still alive?

I have nothing and I’m unworthy of everything.

The worst way to exist.

[lil-melody-moon]

[japkevanuffelen]

Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Idiot, 2003

[booksandteaandstuff]

People think a man suffers because the person he loves will one day die. But his true suffering isn't so trivial. His true suffering is noticing that not even sorrow lasts. That even grief loses its meaning.

Albert Camus, Caligula and Three Other Plays: A New Translation by Ryan Bloom

https://bookshop.org/a/12010/9780593311271

[lizzygrantsadgirlblogger]

Lose yourself 🦢

@brokenlipstickgirl777 love your blog btw

[serenityquest]

[sinligh]

High fences of realization built on the liquid like foundation of my murky soul.

My desire for love when kept untouched grew into resentment towards myself.

Soothed only by the hands of death on the base of my spine stitching me back together I, her only leftover with words of comfort.

"Life goes on". Is its construction mantra.

Out of deaths lips its arbitrary, a stolen promise; like all the souls that it deemed unfit to be renovated.

The hand of death on the base of my spine, on the back of my neck

it grounds me; I find comfort in it.

the way it caress me so lovingly, a threat of a postpartum psychotic mother to an oblivious child.

Death was never particularly appealing to me, it’s the thought of not existing

not now, not in the past, nor the future. to never be, with no trace whatsoever.

To cease to exist all together With no leftovers, nor broken lovers.

It’s not a constant desire, more of a lure, a forbidden love. A slow burn romance with a happy ending

One that I’ll never reach out to willingly but if it ever reached out to me then I know for sure that I’m not strong enough to reject it.

Because life loses its colors from time to time…

And that leaves me, like a person suffering from aphasia. I lose the ability to understand the point of it all…

I try hard to redefine everything, yet, I can’t express it not even when I reach for a semi-stable ground with all my words.

sensitive, i let life play me like an instrument, so responsive.

i increase the tone of whatever melody goes through me..

do it so i hurt anyone who loves me enough to listen. And because I can’t just fade…. And because I don’t have the upper hand…. I make sure to leave my mark, I make sure I have a way to I leave.

And then I choose not to.

•••

•Quotes: Christa Wolf / Joyce Carol Oates/ Sylvia Plath/Susan Sontag/ Virginia Woolf / Ocean Vuong / Molly Brodak/ Halsey

•Original context: Sinligh

•art reference:

1. Painting by John Bagnold Burgess (detail)

Painting by Roberto Ferri ( detail)

2. Painting by Émile Vernon (detail)

3. The Grasshopper by Jules Joseph Lefebvre. (detail)

4. Painting by Valeria Duca.

5. red" by Hei Shan.

6. Sleeping Beauty by William Oxer.

7. Halsey from her Ig post: iamhalsey (detail)

[bits-of-wit]

[lacunalunatic]

Who adjusts quicker to having Klarion around; Jason or Etrigan? Conversely, which is Klarion more likely to listen to? (Realistically I know it is neither, but who would he humour more?)

Honestly, Etrigan adjusted quicker, probably because he mainly watches from inside Jason rather than directly. In turn, Klarion slightly is more likely to listen to Etrigan (probably because Etrigan is a demon):