#im so fucking pathetic for acting like a child but

[skyeateyourdonuts]

heize is a good artist

[lady-caden]

I need 2 vent

[yanderefarm]

Arguing with ares (ares seems like the type of wife to always get his way)

the makeup sex is the best part though. even though you are going to have to stay cuddling him and reassuring him you love him for so much longer than normal.

arguing with ares is a bad idea for so many reasons. least of which is his bad temper.

"oh so now I'm not allowed to go to work? hey guess what babe for some reason we're really short staffed right now!"

"oh don't you dare take that tone with me! im doing what I have to!!"

"so you had to kill my coworker. right right of course. my mistake i forgot she committed the unforgivable crime of looking at me for too long!"

"you!!! you know i-!!"

he'll flip over the table and stomp his foot and get so red in the face. but that's just the start.

"you can't control yourself? what are you a child having a temper tantrum?"

"you are being a big dumb butt head!!"

"don't act all cute! you're a fucking psychopath!!"

"no I'm not! I'm not crazy!"

the water works will start the longer the fight goes on. if those don't immediately break your resolve they certainly will wear it down.

"sometimes i wonder why I stay with you. maybe I'm just too scared of you!"

"stop it! you're so- you're so me-mean! i hate you!"

"i hate you!"

just as you're about to storm out he'll be on the ground sobbing. his voice so small and pathetic compared to the angry words you had been sharing a minute ago.

"please... please don't leave me... please-"

you can't leave him like that can you? in the end he'll always get what he wants. happy wife happy life.

[xanaxiii]

"WE WERE BORN TO DIE"

cw: ENGLISH ISN’T MY FIRST LANGUAGE! slightly smut, no use of y/n, pet names, dom/sub dynamic, mentions of death, bad health etc.  

words: 1.6k

an: i fucking love old man logan. and im so fucking horny after rewatching this movie so. enjoy.  ♡

Taking care of Logan was a difficult and tiring task. Despite the relationship you two had, he still felt that he couldn't let his guard down and allow himself to get any help. He considered it pointless...after all, his time would come to die too. Looking at how he used his last moments in this world, death was on his tail. It didn't move away even a step. 

Unfortunately for Logan, you were stubborn and wouldn't let yourself watch your partner die day by day. Raised in a way that the act of helping those in need was the most important thing you could do, especially helping someone close to you, you helped him, ignoring Logan's protests. You helped him with the smallest things, trifles. Getting out of bed, getting dressed. Sometimes even washing.

When it came to the latter, Logan would have to be in a real state of intoxication at that point, because he would rather be renewing the X-men than letting anyone help him with such intimate matters. 

 It wasn't that he was ashamed. He just knew he couldn't afford something like that. He was dying, yes, but he had the strength to wash his dick, damn it. 

And, despite his age, Logan still had a hell of a high libido. Maybe his movements weren't as fast and agile as they used to be, but now all he needed was a gentle touch. And your hands were gentle. They were downright angelic as they brushed over his rough, barely healed skin covered in scars and wounds. 

That's why every time you helped him wash, it ended with sex. But Logan didn't always feel like it or have the time, so he avoided it like the plague. Ignoring the pain and the pure need for someone by his side. He could imagine how pathetic it would be to die in the middle of a bath, which made him think about the act with less and less pleasure every day. 

Bright sunlight came through the window, blocked by thick curtains to illuminate the bedroom with its warm, bright rays. Logan turned over, mumbling something incomprehensible into the pillow. He lay exposed, his chest painfully rising and falling as he breathed, snoring softly and sighing. Strands of his gray hair brushed his forehead, his muscles tense even in his sleep. Which was no wonder, since he had been plagued by nightmares since he was a child. He sighed heavily, opening his blurry eyes, looking around the bedroom. He swallowed, feeling the dryness in his burning throat, and slowly sat up in bed. His feet hit the cold floor, his rough hands rubbed his tired face. His gray beard itched, and the heaviness in his heart made him want to leave it all behind long ago if he could. 

But he couldn't do it. He wouldn't leave you. He wouldn't forgive himself for that. 

The corners of his mouth moved as he heard the door creak open and your slow footsteps approaching him. He raised his head, meeting your gaze full of love and lust. It was amazing to him that despite his age, you still considered him the most attractive man on the planet. 

“You woke up.” - your sweet voice, he heard it so often that he memorized what you sounded like. He replays it in his dreams, in his fantasies. With quick steps, you found yourself on the bed next to him, sliding onto his lap. You heard his quiet hiss of pain, for which you immediately apologized. 

Your scent surrounded him. The new perfume he bought you turned out to be a success. The aroma of strawberries and vanilla took over his senses, so without holding back, he lowered his head and smelled you. You giggled, lifting your head to place a kiss on his temple.

Logan moved his large hands to your waist, kneading the soft skin, tugging at the silk material of your nightie.

You were so beautiful. The way you looked, the way you presented yourself. You were like an angel sent from heaven, to him, even though he didn't deserve it. Logan had become completely addicted to you. You worked on each other like the most wonderful drug, completely controlling each other.

"I woke up. I see you've become an early bird." - he whispered, his voice rough and deep, sending shivers down your spine. You wrapped your arms around his neck, brushing your fingers along his muscular back, digging your nails into it, scratching and teasing him. He removed his hands from your waist, grazing your wrists, pushing you away. His gaze was narrowed, but not angry.

"What? Don't you like it anymore, James?"

"Don't call me that…" - he mumbled, lowering his head, touching your heated skin with his cold lips. You were so smooth, so perfect. Logan decided that with each next approach, he would treat you like you were made of porcelain. He was afraid that if he squeezed you too hard, you would fall apart in his hands.

"…Why? That's your name, right?"

He shook his head, parting his lips to clamp his teeth on your neck. You sighed, leaning back a little to give him more space.

"No. I'm not who I was anymore, doll." - saying that, he began to place pleasantly painful kisses on your face. - with that, he began to press pleasantly painful kisses against your skin, forcing your wrists to grip his shoulders. He didn't let go of your hands, even though the urge to roam your body was incredibly tempting. But he wasn't in the mood for teasing this morning. No, he was in the mood for morning, bittersweet sex. You could feel his beard, tickling you as he moved his lips along your throat, biting, licking and soaking like an animal preparing to eat its prey.

"Mhm…" - you whispered, opening your plush, soft, pink lips, catching heavy breaths. The atmosphere in the room suddenly became deadly steamy, especially when Logan's lips found yours. He grabbed your lower lip, sucking, making it turn purple. His way of showing his love for you, despite how much he wished it would be different, was rather painful. But it didn't bother you. Why should it? You didn't mind any of the things your old man did.

Despite all his flaws, spite and whining, he was a really sweet man. You knew he cared about you. You knew because he did everything he could to show you as often as possible. Gifts, acts of kindness, how he would stay overtime to earn more for the two of you. It hurt your heart that he was sacrificing himself like that. You swore to yourself to protect him and take care of him so that he would never feel tired again.

But Logan was so damn stubborn. No matter what you told him, he would question it. It's not that he didn't believe you. He just thought that since he was definitely older than you, he knew better. Which, unfortunately, was often true.

When you broke the kiss, you looked at Logan with concern in your eyes. His eyes were closed, eyebrows narrowed. The wrinkles on his face were more visible than usual, his mouth slightly open as he drew air into his lungs. He was so beautiful. You could stare at him for hours.

You smiled softly, slowly grasping the hem of your thin nightgown with your fingers. You made eye contact with him until he moved to your naked body underneath. You couldn't count how many times this man had seen you in this vulnerable state, but every time he reacted as if it was the first time.

Your creamy skin, soft curves, it was everything he had ever wanted. You were like a canvas standing in the corner of the room, waiting for him to vent his emotions on you. He let go of your wrists, wrapping his arms around your waist to throw you under him.

He groaned, feeling a sudden pain in his knees. In moments like these, he simply forgot how sick and old he was. He hated it, hated how hard it was for him to do basic things, let alone catch up with you in all those intimate matters. But you obviously didn't mind.

Once he had you under him, he gently cupped your breasts, beginning to knead your flesh. Your erect, aroused nipples brushed against his open palm. He swallowed hard, looking up to meet your gaze. You slid your hand into his hair, scratching his scalp with your nails. He tilted his face down, feeling a shiver of excitement run through him, giving him the energy to continue.

Kneading your tits, his lips began to cover your body with sharp hickeys. After a moment, your neck, sternum, and stomach were covered in burgundy stains. You tightened your grip on the sheet beneath you with your other hand, wriggling and arching your back in a delicious way. Logan, which was rare, smiled, letting your hand tug on his hair as you tried to stop yourself from being dramatic and overreacting when he had barely done anything yet. He let go of your breasts, grabbing his leather belt on his pants. He wrapped his thick fingers around the large buckle, unfastening it, throwing it somewhere to the side. He couldn't get enough of the sight before him. You looked so good when you were all naked and marked by him. A reminder that you were only his. A reminder that he had something and someone to come back to.

He reached into the loops of his belt, twisting them until he finally stepped out of his black, suit pants, leaving them around his ankles. He was damn pleased that you were completely naked, left at his mercy. Waiting for every next move from him. When you bit your lower lip temptingly, wrapping a strand of his gray hair around your index finger, tugging on it, Logan realized that you were getting impatient.

"If you really love me, you'll wait, baby." - He mumbled, leaning down to meet your lips again, his hands sliding down his boxers. You sighed as you felt his cock against your thigh, bringing your other hand up to rest on his shoulder, knowing you would need physical support soon.

“Can you do it? Of course you can. You’re so beautiful. All mine.”- His words were drawn-out praise as he positioned himself over you. He looked into your eyes again, searching for any sign of worry or embarrassment, but the only thing that he see was devotion and desire.

His smile widened, causing his wrinkles in the areas of his mouth and eyes to deepen. So restless, so impatient. He had no reason to be surprised. He spent his days either at work or sleeping off because of nights full of nightmares. He pushed you away from him at every possible opportunity, without power for movement. But today was different. He woke up horny. And that was all he needed to be able to please his princess.

Because for you he would do anything, right?

"I need… I need you, Logan, please." - you whimpered, your sweet voice breaking as you narrowed your eyes, raising your altitude higher by listening to him. He let out a quiet laugh, deep and growling, straight from his irritated throat.

Ah. who was he to refuse you?

[bruciemilf]

i love clingy jason but I'm also obsessed with damian acting like a kid his age and bonding with pathetic sap bruce

Damian: Father, did you know that [obsucure and fucked up animal fact that I'm too tired to think of].

Bruce: Oh wow that's very interesting Damian! [internally; im so glad he's finally expressing himself like a normal child his age 🥰 why the fuck does he know that]

Just damian doing normal kids shit like collecting bugs in the garden and bruce watching from afar so happy to see damian living a (relatively) normal childhood despite how he was raised

.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Come Get 'Im!

Pedro Pascal x Actress!Reader

Summary: "It's day 130, and this man with a mustache still can't get a fucking hint and keeps inviting himself to have lunch with me."

Word Count: 2k+

Warnings: Fem!reader, crude language, crack fic, low key social media au format, annoying rat!pedro, mentions/depictions of online hate, use of y/n T_T, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: HOY @sloanexx ito na. I hope this makes you spiral HAHAHAHAH Also tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace

Shaky cam and out of breath has entered the chat.

It's a tiktok video of you recording yourself while in the middle of a jog.

"I swear," you pant, as the audio captures wind, "to fucking Obama, Trump, and Biden, America-- AMERICA!" you bark, "if one of you thirsty ass idiots come crying to me again for even breathing, BREATHING--" you scream and huff as you catch your breath. You jog a few paces forward. You look over your shoulder, back to your camera, "--around that idiot you like so bad, I'm going to explode."

The camera pans to your nostrils and double chin, "if you want your pathetic, middle aged man so bad, come and fucking get him!"

You harshly pull your phone back and show the man on a hoverboard trailing behind you. His brown hair is blowing with the wind. He raises a hand and waves. He grins at the camera, beaming as he says, "HI TIKTOK!"

"COLLECT," you point the camera back to you, "THIS RAGGEDY BAG OF BONES RIGHT NOW!"

"But I love you!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Welcome to: A day in the life of someone who is contractually obligated to be close to Pedro Pascal. Featuring you! The actress, who Pedro has been smitten with the entire time since filming and promoting your movie, and has thus since elicited the wrath of (some of) the Pascal girlies! Yay!

So, tell us, what is it like to be with the one and only Pedro Pascal! It is everything, all the fangirls dream of? Well, let's take a look at some footage!

It's a behind the scenes video. There is no audio available.

You and Pedro are standing far off from the perspective of the camera on an elevated set, in front of a blue screen. Pedro jokingly leans in, pushing his hands to you but not making contact. He's been teasing that he'd push you. He repeats this multiple times before eventually, you get tired and tell him off. He laughs with an open mouth and his tongue out. You turn over you shoulder, motioning something vaguely to someone off cam.

When you turn back to Pedro, he pretends to push you again, but this time, it backfires. He yelps and slips, crashing into a foam of cushions beneath you. Instantly, you turn and point to him, laughing out loud exaggeratedly, pointing at him from above. You then jump down to his side and then tackle him, pretending as though you were on WWE. You end with coiling his arm behind him, sticking your tongue out to the camera.

Wow! How educational!

Here's you and him doing an interview!

"I really enjoy that the film is not scared to dive into that-" you start, gesturing your hands as you passionately pour your thoughts on the theme of the film.

Pedro, who had been listening to you intently, turns to you and randomly pokes your cheek.

You ignore this, used to his behavior, as you continue, "I think it's really important that we, as a society, openly talk about this dilemma and critically reassess it."

Pedro pokes your cheek again, only this time, you turn to him, and he faces front and acts as if he did not just do that.

You turn back to the interviewer. He makes another attempt at poking you face, only this time, you turn and bite at his finger. You very nearly manage to get him.

He pulls his finger back and gasps, clutching both his hands to his chest, "ay, dios mio."

You snarl at him before going back as you were. You break into a chuckle when you hear him slipping into laughter. He says "that was actually scary."

"You deserve it."

Here's you and Pedro talking to a child that is a fan of both your separate work! (His being The Mandalorian, yours being A Mermaid Tale)

You coo as the little girl runs up to you and hugs your legs. You lower yourself, so to embrace the child in your arms. You coo as the small child wraps her arms around you. Pedro, from behind you, grins as he takes a photo of your interaction.

When she pulls away from you, you gasp at her pigtails, complementing them.

She smiles, "it's like- like your hair in the movie!"

You grin, "such a smart girl! It totally is, but honestly, yours is so much better!"

The girl smiles at you and you smile back at her. She then looks up to the man that was standing behind you, pointing at him before turning back to you, "he's - ss friends with baby yoda!" she breaks her words the way small children do.

Pedro, adoring the attention and the recognition from the child, jumps from behind you to dramatically exclaim and clutch his chest, "I'M FRIENDS WITH YODA!"

The girl looks up at the man, stepping back, then turning to her mom for guidance. Her mom, by the way, was recording the whole interaction. She breaks into a laugh at her daughter's nervousness, "it's ok baby."

You and Pedro follow suit in laughter, though you turn and swat at him, "you scared the poor child."

"I'm so sorry, my love," Pedro says, placing a hand on his chest, "I was just so excited about baby yoda!" he explains, ending with a goofy face.

The girl turns back to him, finally breaking into a smile.

"YES! I'm cool again!" Pedro says just as you stand and he bends down to raise his knuckles to the child for a fist bump.

She apprehensively bumps knuckles with him. Pedro gasps and coos, "right on!" He then raises his hands, "what about a hug?"

The girl bends her knees, gaining momentum, then she jumps into Pedro's arms, sealing him into a tight hug.

Everyone AWWS.

Everyone, that is, except... the haters.

Pull up the receipts.(For various reasons, some text has been censored or removed.)

@w0nderw0madn: omF******g if i have to see that b**** ass [redacted] [y/n] f****** grope my pedro again im going to kill her and [redacted multiple texts...]

@ilovechesed: i have no idea who [y/n] thinks she is but it's so f****** pathetic of her to throw herself onto pedro pascal when he's clearly not even interested in him

[redacted]'s video: Hot take. You guys are only thirsting after [Y/N] because she's hot by association of Pedro Pascal

[Y/N] Receives Faces Wave Of Internet Trolls After Her New Film's Recent Debut

But internet trolls are promptly handled by people with actual brain cells.

@w0nderw0madn: omF******g if i have to see that b**** ass [redacted] [y/n] f****** grope my pedro again im going to kill her and [redacted multiple texts...]

@pedropascstiddies replied to w0nderw0man: LMAO I REPORTED YOU WITH MY 10 ACCOUNTS HOPE YOU ENJOY GETTING YOUR ACCOUNT DELETED

@ilovechesed: i have no idea who [y/n] thinks she is but it's so f****** pathetic of her to throw herself onto pedro pascal when he's clearly not even interested in him

@loverofdilfsd replied to ilovechesed: ? you mean this pedro pascal [image attached] [image description: A picture of Pedro Pascal looking at [Y/N] with a soft smile as while she answers a question during a red carpet premiere]

@ynbabymyluv replied to ilovechesed: you mean this pedro pascal? [image attached] [image description: A picture of Pedro Pascal grinning widely as he embraces [Y/N] mid pout]

@100ass replied to ynbabymyluv: nah here's the video of that and im salty too [video attached] [video description: Pedro Pascal asks for a bit of [Y/N]'s food but she releases it before he grabs on to the plate.]

[redacted]'s video: Hot take. You guys are only thirsting after [Y/N] because she's hot by association of Pedro Pascal

user842048525972 commented: ass take

i-think-imprettycool commented: 💀YALL MF DO ANYTHING FOR CLOUT

swiftandshore commented: Or you dont have taste

[Y/N] Receives Faces Wave Of Internet Trolls After Her New Film's Recent Debut

And fans are coming to her aid. 💅 As they should.

Of course we can't end this without showing some of the love people have extended for their new internet fixation.

In coming receipts.

[y/n] and pedro being NSFW for 10 minutes straight

>>Most played [6:43]: [video description: [Y/N] and Pedro Pascal's make out scene]

"If you go out without me - " he growls, grabbing her by the wrist, ripping her back into his chest. He then grabs her by her hair, forcing her face him. "You'll what? Huh?!" she hisses, craning her neck up as she grabs his shirt, pulling him down to her. She grunts, "what? You'll leave me in the fucking desert like what you did last time!" "WHAT'S IT GOING TO TAKE FOR YOU TO BELIEVE THAT WASN'T MY CHOICE!" "SHOW ME YOUR STATUS REPORT FILE!" He scoffs, "you and your fucking reports." "Show me your status report file," she words sternly. "You want a status report?!" he fumes. "YES! SHOW ME-" Her words are cut off when her mouth is covered with his. He releases her hair to clutch her cheeks and pushes her against the wall. She releases his shirt to dig her fingers into his sides. He moans. She laughs, "wimp."

89igotaletter commented: I LOVE IT WHEN [Y/N] AND PEDRO.

Andre Potato commented: MOMMY SORRY DADDY SORRY MOMMY SORRY DADDY SORRY

broalhasd commented: everyday i wake up and thank God that for this holy collab.

@830marbel: if it ever gets tiring being so hot @yn_real_ig, pls allow me to cool you with my tears

@yn_real_ig replied to 830marbel: i appreciate it but i still have 2 trays of pedro's tears. i put them in my juice 🧊🧊

@evrything284: i dont know if i want to be @yn_realig or pedro pascal in this [image attached] [image description: A picture of [Y/N] and Pedro Pascal together on the red carpet premiere for their film]

@yn_real_ig replied to evrything284: be true to you. be yourself. be our 3rd

@pedfroizaac: btw @yn_real_ig our boyfriend [image attached] [image description: Bugs Bunny communist meme]

@yn_real_ig replied to pedfroizaac: this is america [image attached] [image description: A bald eagle in front of the American flag]

Final thoughts from both players.

Here is fan favorite interview of you both.

You pull a piece of paper from a jar and read its contents, "what's your favorite thing about the other-- murder," you say, throwing the paper off to the side.

Pedro, who was sitting by your right makes a nervous sound, jaw dropping. He then promptly smirks and nods, "exactly."

You turn to the camera and nod, "murder."

"I'm into that."

"Murder."

"I am murder," Pedro agrees, raising his hands as he shrugs.

"Murder," you repeat one last time before turning to Pedro, "and his mustache."

"Oh," Pedro smiles, rubbing his 'stache as he leans back, "thank you. I grew it myself."

"I don't appreciate beard burn though," you wave your hands to your face.

"That's not what she said last night," Pedro takes his turn to look at the camera as he gives a stupid look.

You snap at him, "what did I say last night?"

Pedro ignores you and crosses his arms, "my favorite thing about you would be-"

"No wait, what did I say last night?"

Pedro looks at you.

"Tell them what I said last night."

Pedro purses his lips into a tight smile, "what?"

You challenge, "tell them what I told you last night."

His ears begin to burn. He shifts on his chair as his jaw slacks, "ha?"

"You want me to say what I told you last night?"

He begins to break a sweat, "I-I-" he laughs, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

You raise your brows at him.

Pedro clears his throat and rubs his lap, "I love how compassionate and kind she is."

You snort, leaning back in your chair, "okay."

To this day, people who stumble on that interview still comment: WHAT THE FUCK DID SHE TELL HIM LAST NIGHT?????

[eldrith]

omg heyyyyy guys!!! <3 tldr for those of you who aren't the stupid cunt still spewing shit in inboxes: thanks for being kind & supportive and fucking normal. appreciate you beyond words, genuinely. my inbox is always open to you.

but to whom it may concern,

i am so fucking serious when i say that you, anon, need to grow up and start talking to real life humans for once in your life.

this isn't a joke. i'm so so so fucking embarrassed for this imbecile who stalks mutuals and any writer or account with decency in this fandom. you're so embarrassing. you are so clearly out of touch, there is something so clearly wrong in your tiny little pebble brain. it's a miracle you can even type words onto a screen because you're so inconceivably obtuse. (btw, you may need to reel in the extent of your lexicon - if you know what that is - for some of the things im about to say)

not only are you so impossibly, functionally incapable when it comes to media literacy - sorry, literacy at all - but you actively seek out to make incorrect points and its so troublesome... you need to learn context, subtext, implicit bias, nuance - honestly, grab a dictionary and look up what the term 'critical thinking' means too. you are SEVERELY lacking. you are deficient in communication and even worse with inference. i could laugh, and i have before.

despite the fact that this is all fictional - the truth is that we are all just people on here who enjoy writing or maybe enjoy a character from a fictional show that isn't even about romance in the first place.

anyways, i digress: the truth is that every single one of my friends on here has gotten this person's weird fucking obsessive comments in their inbox and as pathetic as this person is, i will say this directly to them: you treat writers or other blogs like some sort of sad therapy and you're being embarrassing.

i'm embarrassed when i see the cringey, out of touch shit you say. you act like a minor. i genuinely think you are one. you act like someone who has never had a personal relationship, let alone conversation. i don't think you've had an emotional connection ever. you act like a fucking baby who just crawled out of a sewer to see light for the first time in your life. it's so fucking sad. i would never care enough to say i feel bad for you, but i feel bad for anyone who has ever interacted with you, myself included.

it's so astounding to have to say this, but: WRITERS AND BLOGGERS ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING THERAPISTS. WE ARE NOT A HOTLINE FOR YOU. here, you’re so stupid you probably didn’t catch that: WE ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING THERAPISTS. YOU ARE BEING A FUCKING CHILD.

i beg you - i implore you to fucking block me, to block all of my mutuals who you come to whining in their inboxes, because NONE OF US FUCKING CARE what you have to say. pick up a book. talk to a man irl. ask someone how their day is and try to use empathy for once.

anyways, i love every single person on here who takes the time to be kind, or funny, or care. i love all my writers, all of my friends on here, moots or not - sorry to say this but im tired of pretending that i'm nice to childish pathetic cunts. lol

[pinyeti]

EPISODE 6: RETURN OF THE JEDI

Is it just me or have they just not explained the Death Star properly?

I cant take Darthy seriously anymore, he’s just a bag of organs 

Whats quirrel doing here

OMG ELEPHANT SNAKE IS BACK

Isnt this that old caterpillar from Alice n wonfderlad

WOW LUKE REALLY SUITED UP FOR HIS MESSAGE- DID HE JUST SELL???? GOLDENFACE AN R2-oh right Hans in the carbon - way to go to the dark side Luke, triangular droid trade YOU ARE YOUR FATHERS SON LUKE 

So much of Star Wars is just running into the problem with a glowstick and hoping it dies

Wow hansolo has been imprisoned, thrown into garbage, tortured, thrown into carbon, imprisoned AGAIN all cuz he has can’t shut my mouth disease

What even is their relationship with Luke btw, are they his adopted fWOAH WOAH WOAH WHEN DID LUKE TURN INTO A MAN??? Last I saw he was a child who couldn’t get a plane out of a lake AND THEY LEFT THE LAST MOVIE WITH ALL OF THTEM BEING TOGETHER wow the text in the beginning is more important than I thought 

No seriously why is Luke dressed like a pastor whats going on

WOAH GOLD BIKINI LIEA - OKAY STORY TIME I USED TO WATCH PRINCESS RAP BATTLES AS A CHILD AND THE ONE I SAW WITH LEIA IN IT SHE SAID “I wore a gold bikini and the whole world lost its shit” ANF NOW I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

Ok yoda we get it you’re 900 no ones talking about your wrinkles anyway with pastor Luke in the room, projecting much?

Is yoda suidicdal???

WDYM LUKE IS REaDY???? HE DIDNT DO ANYTHING TO BE READY EXCEPT FLY FACEFIRST INTO A MILITARY BASE HIS TRAINING ARC IS SO SHIT

 Whos the other Skywalker?? lukes not even a Skywalker isnt his name Luke vader where’s skywalkers real son OH darthy’s deadname is skywalker

BABY WONKENOBIII IS BACKCKCKC-OMGWHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WDYM LEIAS LUKES SISTER WDYM HE SUSPECTED THIS AFTER MAKING OUT WITH HER FIFTY BILLION TIMES??? WHAT THE HELL

??? HELLO>>??? WHAT TH EHELL??? WHAT IN THE GAME OF THRONES IS GOING ON??????? How is Leia a princess then?? HahahahaHAHAHA SO YODA KNEW …… ABOUT THEIR LITTLE TRIANGLE

Nice the gang is back together, waiting for chewbakka to be revealed as darthy’s next offspring

YES YES GOLDENFACE GETTING THE RESPECT HE DESEREVEVVES I LOVE GOLDENFACEEE

I cant believe these are the idiots the emperors trying to kill

"yes I could sense you were my brother when my tongue was down your throat"

Oh yes Luke hands himself over- haha darthy sensitive over dead name 

Luke youre so stupid- but since jedis cant die is he gonna go to wherever yoda and obi wan is 

Lando is growing on me, also squid guy

This movie is gonna end with emperor and Luke dead isnt it

Is the emperor a jedi too how else does he have power or something something Sith

Id make a horrible jedi- im made of hatred

Hansolo my pathetic little idiot

I JUST REALIZED WHO LUKE EP6 REMINDS ME OF - TROY BOLTON

IS HE BEGGING DARTHY TO KILL HIM WTF

You’re telling me this big of an empire cant take down 6 idiots lead by a happy go lucky guy, never heard of this before

OHMYGOSSDDHD. LYKE YOU IDIOT NOW HE KNOWS ABOUT LEIA

Hahahah a hand for a HAND- wait what…. Why does he have a robo hand too whats going on 

Luke stop acting like you didnt hear about jedis 5 secs ago

Aw does darthy have a heart among his organs

OHMYGOD DARTHY IS A GOOD GUY????? ????? What A VILLAIN TTURNS GOOD ITS BEEN AGES SINCE I SAW A VILLAIN COME OVER TO THE GOOD SIDE

OMG DARHTY FACE REVEAL

Oh damn hes not as ugly as I thought he’d be

Kinda cute even - bro how did he even get this weak why’s he dying rn 

He has such kind eyes

Yeah ok I am so lost I NEED DARTH VADER BACKSTORY RIGH FUCKIN NOW

Is the empire this easy to penetrate? No but they did it with the power of lOVE and FRIENDSHIP 

Love lando 

YES HAN THATS THE REACTION I HAD AN HOUR AGO ACTUALLY WTF

Yes Luke its so sad your daddy that blew up an entire planet in ONE second without a single thought died IM NOT FORGIVING HIM THIS EASY

No way thats it??? They took down the empire just like that???? What??

Damn no one in this world can dance

OHMYGOD ANAKIN???? HOW CAN HE SEE THEM NOW??? IS IT CUZ HES BETTER AT WEILDING THE FORCE

ok fine anakin is cute

(3/9)

[mysterycitrus]

i know you've been talking about jason lately so i'll ask about smth different... robin jason (sorry)

idk idk lately i've been wanting to take a peek at his robin comics for the sake of writing fic (ofc...) but i'd like to hear what u think before that, a summary of sorts if u may (i also wanna contrast what u say with what i get out of it so yeah)

i feel like his robin days are so muddled by his identity as red hood later on, and even before that it was his death. u had people constantly blaming jason for dying in text (or else they'd have to admit bruce can make mistakes and everyone in dc is allergic to doing that) and painting him like someone reckless and violent (classist editorial u need to DIE), and then people in fanon painting him like a sweet fella who would do nothing wrong and as well as being bruce's Only Actual Son etc etc for the sake of making the situation around him all the more sadder (yeah yeah pathetic meow meow we've all seen it)

and i'm just curious bc i rlly wonder what the actual comics say about him, most likely something in the middle of this? exams are killing me but my god i'll come back to life after im done just to read jason robin's days... have a good day !!!

the difficulty with reading about jason as robin is that there are three primary periods that all differ fairly dramatically from each other — pre-crisis jason todd is a strawberry blond acrobat who’s almost adopted by dick grayson before becoming robin; post-crisis jason todd is a kid from crime alley who steals the wheels off the batmobile before becoming robin; and post-crisis, post-utrh jason todd is a very angry, very violent kid who becomes a cautionary tale after he gets himself killed (something he is often blamed for).

we can walk the line here. pre-crisis jason isn’t particularly relevant because so much of robin!jason’s stories depend on his reinvention after the reboot. all the crucial factors leading up to death in the family — growing up in the alley, both his mothers, his relationship with the robin mantle, his developing relationship with dick grayson, his slow schism from bruce, his relative isolation from other superheroes — are all crucial to who he is, especially after his death.

fanon about jason is annoying because there are valid criticisms that can be made about how he’s written with regressive, classist stereotypes, but as always it pivots way too far in one direction. jason wasn’t the “happy” or “angry” robin in the same way that dick wasn’t the happy or angry robin — they’re both characters that possess more than a single emotion. it’s true that jason was later written to be more explicitly violent (to contrast him with dick) but also like… they’re both pretty similar characters that differ in interesting ways. dick created robin to be a symbol of hope and joy. jason carried that on when he took up the mantle. they can both be angry at stuff without the world falling apart. it’s not that serious.

the dialogue about dick being a child soldier but jason being the true son makes me want to tear my hair out. jason became robin because bruce missed dick and was afraid of being alone. they’re both his gd kids. acting as though bruce wayne doesn’t love dick grayson so much that extra-dimensional beings can clock it is so fucking stupid. it once again ties into fanon’s obsession with each character only getting to be “one” thing. tim is smart, which means he’s the smartest. jason said robin made him magic, which means he’s happy all the time. dick chased after zucco in a grief spiral, which means he’s the violently angry one, with no other character traits. dick can’t have been nice to jason because he’s nice to tim, etc. seems a little silly, no?

i think i’ve only read jason’s brief run as robin once, though ive gone through a death in the family + a lonely place of dying a bunch of times, so ig my advice for reading him is to keep in mind the context in which he was created. dc comics was reeling from losing dick grayson as robin, and were really throwing anything at the wall to get something to stick. many, many negative tropes are baked into his introduction, and thanks to writers like jeph loeb and scott lobdell they have compounded over time. jason’s updated backstory is, with actual critical intent by the writer, a really good examination of how poverty and class will affect how someone views the world. his death was not his fault — and removing sheila haywood from that warehouse purposely makes his story less tragic. he was a good kid! and he was angry for a good reason. if jason had lived, i believe he would’ve carried on the robin tradition and left bruce behind once their differences became insurmountable.

[hyewka]

plz yeonjun as a bratty sub who thinks he can dom you but hes rlly just a dumb pretty boy who buckles in his knees the moment u start degrading his ass. your finger playing with the choker he has on and scoffing with a mere ‘slut’ under your breath. his reactions so big, eyes bulging out with a emasuclating whine out of his lips like a child, hes not a slut!!! but why else would he act so bitchy the entire day the moment the collar arrives in a package at your front door? its too bad yeonjuns a pretty face because the way he holds on ur wrist demanding, whining for u to do something with him like he deserves it after the stunts hes pulled on you the entire day..bratty sub yeonjun definitely needs to be put in his place, and he likes it soo much, he likes when u look down at him with an ounce of distaste or a scowl it gets his poor dick twitching wanting relief. but misbehaving boys dont get rewarded, they get punished— raising your foot and saying “go ahead”. poor yeonjuns so confused, and so you clarify, “its either this or nothing. im not touching you.” he doesnt even hesitate for that long because he knows u wont go back on ur word, his raging boner would not be satisfied with fucking his fist :// sort of a struggle to grind up your foot when ur not doing anything to help, sitting there scrolling on your phone , his face flushed out of pure embarrassment as he humps up trying to chase some sort of friction through the restriction of his pants. “is that all you got? you look so …pathetic.” youre nice enough to give a slight push, just to gauge his reaction curiously, and a reaction do u get,, his breath hitches and he almost damn freezes. lol ur basically torturing him, sweat breaking out a bead rolling down, and youve had enough of playing around— youve been eyeing that collar for too long to not do anything about it!! literally huffing like this was some chore as u get up, dragging the boy on your couch by his stupid collar to your bedroom and he yelps?? lol too cute. youre not in the mood to make two trips back and forth for ur toys

[guroperv]

hi there! :] i'm lilith, but most just call me lil or lily.

i'm 25, nonbinary and use any pronouns. i'm autistic, aspd, and the head of a system. only 2 or 3 alters use this blog to post (please feel free to ask questions about them if you are curious). 1 of them has his own blog

i am probably on your dni. i empathise with various serial killers and shooters. i post a lot of gore (including animal death) and nsfw, and am into some very fucked up shit (necrophilia, hybristophilia, mechanophilia, noncon, tortureporn, highly detailed guro, kidnapping to name a few). if that isn't what you like, then just block and move on. or feel free to leave a pathetic hate anon for me to laugh at. <3

i do have homicidal thoughts, and i will vent about them on here. this does not mean i will act on them, im simply just an unstable girl thing unable to seek the treatment i need so i cope by spilling my thoughts to random strangers on the web.

i do have a serial killer/cannibalistic alter. no i do not let him front frequently (but if he does he is one of those whom posts on the blog), esp if i am dealing with said homicidal ideation.

my alters are mostly "their own people" so to speak, some are fictive, others simply identify with fictional characters. @reapershi for example, is his own person, but heavily identifies with death the kid from soul eater so often uses his depiction to represent himself. i do have a stein alter, yes he's a fucking lunatic, yes he sometimes posts on the blog as well if i myself am not doing well. he is not harmful, however. lastly, i have a wolf boy alter, who heavily identifies with razor from genshin. he is the last alter who i allow to sometimes post on my blog. he's also his own person, but has the mentality of a feral child. he will usually only reblog photos of wolves when he is active. again, it is not common for these alters to be fronting, it does not happen all the time, only if im severely struggling with something. i have various other alters who have no interest in using tumblr too, but usually it's me at the front. just putting this here as clarification that i am not constantly switching like most did fakers tend to do. these alters are very real, i struggle very much with past trauma and my sense of identity, and i also wish the quirky "trend" of did would stop.

i do not tolerate racism, homophobia, nazism or bigotry. i do not condone these actions from any killers i may reblog or post about.

i do, however, condone the idea of natural selection. :]

likes (things i may reblog/post about frequently);; soul eater (stein my beloved), tcc (mainly serial killers (esp jeff <3), though sometimes i may reblog things about shooters), surrealism, psychology, cats, bunnies, nature, gothic style, halloween, music, gore, guro, nsfw topics, computers & older electronics

please feel free to send me dms or asks. i'm not great at talking, but i'll try to reciprocate regardless. :]

[kuni-is-daddy]

Ive been reading a lot of yan!scara fics but i was thinking.. how would scara be with a yandere s/o???

Boss! Scaramouche X yandere Assistant/Bodyguard reader PART 2?

OoF. that made my brain stop while i was just 'struggling' writing something anon. U CURED MY WRITERS BLOCK.

where we last left off in the "boss scara series" you confessed to him and made the first move. the both of you began to truly cling onto eachother. but what if y/n finally shows their obsessive behavior..

Scara ranting to childe :((

CAPI'S NOTE: IM TRAUMATIZED. PART 1 GOT A COMMUNITY LABEL :/ now I have to be a little nice in the smut parts. Any advice on how to avoid it is appreciated :)

AM I FREAKING OUT FOR NO REASON? GN😭❌ ITS 12:13AM

BOSS! SCARA. PART1

Part3!

AMAZING ART

Scara masterlist

WORDS 1.2K

MINORS DO. NOT. INTERACT.❌❌❌

Sparring:

i feel like reader would start acting a bit creepy, Like for example Scara would usually just have you wait outside the building for him to come back from changing his attire back into his suit after you two 'spar' but reader insisted to wait for him 'outside the changing room' Scara thought you we're trying to act like a tease as usual and say things around 'hmm? You wanna see more my pet?' or even down right have you suck him off in his personal changing room. When it comes to sparring your always giving him such praise for his strength, its not everyday or..at all. where someone can surpass you of all people. but you just couldnt EVER wrap your head around him~ "Your so strong master~ I never expect anyless from you" You'd both usually spar for around 5+ rounds but scara started to feel..Different about it.

Fighting/Missions:

"Tsk. Another boring ass day coming to aclose.." He'd say while turning off his favorite song, bohemian rhapsody. He adjusts his tie while opening the door to see you with a big smile on your face. With his already needed paperwork you got from his 'bestie' childe. "The fuck is all this?" "Its your paperwork for the week master~ I already filled it all out for you and childe helped me-" He snatched it away from you." "Alright shit..You dont have to act like such a fucking nerd y/n."

The both of you walked through narukami island, through the outskirts to inazuma city while a bunch of nobushi tried to ambush you. With one swift draw of your weapon you murdered them all in one blow. Scara barely shifted his eyes away from his paper. Only to see your bloodthirsty smile as the nobushi rogue samurai began to cough up blood. He was use to seeing and experiencing reactions like this due to him always being around childe when they train within the abyss. But you. Something was off about you lately.

Scara would purposely drag you into the abyss when its usually just him and childe. He whispered to childe, pointed at a group of abyss creatures and said that they 'are after him' and the both of them would watch as you rabidly charged at his 'enemys' like a dog. Blood splatters all over your suit as you laughed at their pathetic attempts to try and get a free hit at you.

Childe

"Hey comrad! How are ya' today?" The ginger said while sitting next to you in the hallway waiting room. "IM great childe! Me and kuni went out to eat today and it was so much fun. Have you seen the way he fights childe? The way he pulls out his katana..." You daydreamed and ranted off about scaramouche to childe. The both of you shared the same bloodthirsty perspective, Weather over your s/o or just in general. But little did you know he put on a happy face infront of you. Scara asked him to 'spy' on you and ask about what the two of you did today and hear your reaction.

---

"Childe something is up with y/n. I dont know why the fuck they keep acting like that."

"Like what? Dont you usually have the same type of attitude scara.. Dont you Like that?"

"Ugh. I knew talking to you was going to be pointless. Childe, I dont know who is more of a fucking burden. You or Y/N."

Then they suddenly heard you knocking on the door. "Kuni!! Are you in their kuni!"

"the fuck-" Scara said under his breath. He halfly opened the door as childe kept quiet.

"Mmm~ master there you are.. I was hoping you could help me with my sparing tonight." You began to open the door farther and push at his tie. "No. im fucking busy." He removed your hand. "Kuni..But your always busy. And didnt i already help you finish your work today?" He sighed at your perseverance. "Y/n. One day im gonna fucking fire you if you keep pissing me off. And the fuck has been up with you lately?" "N-Nothings wrong kuni! I-im sorry. I just wanted to spend more time with you.." That was all you needed to hear to severely apologize for bothering him and went 'home'

"Well shit. Comrad ill leave this up too you :D -" the ginger patted the short mans shoulder and walked towards the door.

"where the fuck are you going?"

"Im going home-"

He looked at childe with a dead expression.

"Hey listen. If this is really a problem to you, Just get rid of y/n. Your stronger then them right? Problem solved."

"Im not going to fucking kill them."

--

Y'all do it 🤪

scara would obviously feel some sort of way about your sudden change in behavior But be entertained at this 'game' he'd play with you. You came off so sweet and well put together. you would apologize and blush at the littlest of things but now you we're addicted to him. You murdered with no hesitation, Every thought you had was about him. You'd send nude pictures of yourself, Even videos to him while he was at meetings of you fingering yourself. But it was nothing he couldnt handle. He knew how to always put you in your place, He already surpassed you in everyway. He was stronger then you and certainly had you wrapped around his finger. He threatened to fire you hundreds of times just to see how fucking scared and how'd much you beg but never did fire you unlike everyone else, Yet every single time your heart would skip a beat at the word. Leaving kuni was something you never wanted to happen. Ever. Kuni concluded that he'd have fun with you for as long as he wanted. He knew dam well you weren't going anywhere unless he chose.

his phone rang.

"What?" Scara answered in annoyance.

"K~kuni i~" He was greeted to the sound of you moaning "im- F-fuck~ Im s' sorry for earlier. Can i be your good pet and make it up for you daddy? Im waiting for you at home"

Scara went to his penthouse and when he opened the door to his room, while taking off his tie. You we're putting on a show for him, face down ass up with 2 of your fingers going back and forth inside your wet hole. "Kuni~ your home....P-please~ I want you inside of me~" "Oh yeah? Is my little slut that desperate f' me?" He took no time taking off his belt and shoving his pants aside to stuff his cock inside of you.

[chiakixn]

✩ a/n: =⁠_⁠=⁉️⁉️ NOT FINISHED!!!.... PLEASE STOP READING THIS ONG

word count ﹕miliard

— cw; nsfw, semi public, modern school au, enemies to lovers,

— CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT. PROCEED ON YOUR OWN.

✧ top!SCARAMOUCHE x fem!reader

you still have no idea how you ended being fucked by scaramouche in detention room. you were wondering if it was reality or one of your naughty dreams whilst his fingers were playing with your breasts and his cock was filling your hole.

but how did it happen? you didn't like him at all. scaramouche and you were two different worlds — you were part of the school council and one of the nicest students in your college while he was one of those who always were in detention.

it all started when it was your turn to stay with students who ended in detention. you despised this idea of staying late in school because someone broke its rules. it wasnt something impresing when you saw tartaglia, sighnora and scaramouche already sitting in a small room but this time it was only one of them. and among all of them he was one that you hated the most ─ scaramouche. he was really annoying you.

you sat at the teacher's desk and started scrolling through social media on your phone. suddenly scaramouche spoke.

< you're really not interested where sighnora and childe are? > he smirked while looking at you.

< would you mind repeating? i didn't care enough to hear what were you saying > you raised your eyebow but didn't bother looking at him.

< aw, how cute! our dear y/n is deaf now! what are we going to do? > he tried to make you focus on him but you certainly didn't care. Instead of repeating yourself or talking back to him you kept silent and started scrolling through your phone yet again. The room was full of silence now. you were pretty happy with yourself after making him shut his mouth.

the silence didn't last for long. after a while scaramouche hungry for attention decided to start talking again.

< i don't think you're that stupid to think that they shouldn't be here today. > you raised your head just to see his cocky smile.

< why can't you just wait for the end of the detention? it's not that hard. > he made you mad again.

< i hate when you are talking. > you continued. scaramouches small smile faded. instead, he was laughing now.

< hm? you didn't tell me to keep my mouth shut.> you couldn't last his laugh either. he made your blood boil.

< what's so funny about it? stop laughing. > you knew that he won't stop talking, but you tried your best to make him silent. scaramouche rose from his seat.

< only if you ask for it. > you couldn't take him seriously, but his words made your cheeks red. scaramouche was getting nearer and closer. your eyes following a young man who was moving towards you. his hands reached out to the teacher's desk behind where you were sitting.

< or maybe you don't want me to shut up, huh? > he finally got your attention after all those unsuccessful attempts. one of his hands moved towards your shoulder which was covered with a jacket made from silk fabric.

< don't you think that's kind of pathetic? > his smile getting even bigger than before. he was so confident in front of you. it felt like he was treating you like a worm or some kind of insect which couldn't stand against a someone like him.

< not only you're acting like you despise me but also after i stand in front of you can't formulate one complete sentence. you're so desperate for me, aren't you? > your mind was full of his voice, it felt like he was brainwashing you, moreover, it made your heart beat faster. you were claiming that you hated him, but now? you were falling for him even more with every second of his presence.

< i-im not > a faint colour rises to your cheeks. you were trying to hide it, but your desperate efforts weren't enough for him not to see the giant red blush on face of yours. it made you embarrassed, because how pathetic it would be to admit that you could possibly like him a bit

< you're not? really? because i can say something different from just seeing your face, being so cute, so down for me > scaramouche being playful wasn't something new for you, in fact he was doing it almost every time he interacted with you.

< quit talking like this to me. > you dared to open your mouth, but it was meaningless because scaramouche pulled it towards his own lips leaving a small amount of space between you and him making you panic instantly. you also lied. you wanted him to degrade you endlessly while he's making you feel good.

< look at me. > you couldn't resist his commands, but only mindlessly following his orders. making eye contact with him made you melt. you once again tried to say something, but your lips touched him causing a kiss. and it wasn't scaramouche who kissed you, but you - when you didn't notice you slightly slipped towards him. you weren't going to lie that you didn't enjoy kissing him.

after a few seconds, you moved against him. you found yourself unable to look at him in the eye, not to mention even daring to raise tour voice, because you were scared. scared that he would say things that you didn't want to hear. scared that he would leave you.

< how is that? you're kissing me now? after all these promises that you could never like me? that's so comic, don't you think? > his eyes track lower until he sees your naked neck. he immediately started placing small kisses which made you whine. you thought he was going to go further, but he was holding from his actions, waiting for your answer.

< i... maybe do like you after all. > you confessed to him. scaramouche smirked at your words once again, because who wouldn't? miserable little whore you were for him thinking he could want you. the feeling of scaramouche's hot breath on your bare skin was making you wet. he returned to kissing and sucking your neck again to leave marks.

he began taking off your jacket which was followed by undoing buttons on your shirt. he could already see your bra through a half-transparent shirt. everything was happening too fast for you to proceed. he kissed you on your lips, sliding his tongue in and exploring your mouth like crazy. your thoughts about tasting him were getting out of hand. your bra looked like it was asking for taking it off, so scarmouche did. it felt like he was listening to all of your desperate fantasies, all thing that you wanted him to do, all thing you wanted to hear and feel. your boobs were begging him to suck on them, touch them, lick them and much more.

he had never hesistated before taking any actions, just like this time, he knew that you wanted all of this - every single thing that he was going to do to you. you are making him feel powerful and that's why he decided to fuck the living shit out of you. he wanted to see you begging him for more, crying for him to stop, screaming his name out loud so everyone would know that who's making you feel so good and how you're not that innocent as everyone thought you are.

< you're such a dirty little slut. if you want me to do something to such a helpless, weak body then beg for it > he whispered right into your ear. that's what you wanted to hear from him. going back was not included right now. his hands were resting on your hips, awaiting for your answer.

< please... just touch me already > you said it as quietly as you could. you were embarrassed from asking him for such a thing. your hands wrapped around his torso and you hid your head in a small gap between both of you.

< say it once again loud and clear then i'll consider it > he slid his fingers under your short skirt, his thumb circling on your clothed cunt.

< can you please touch my body > you asked him once again. you hoped that this made him happy and to your surprise it did. he

[godlytemperance]

npmd headcanons because my brain is rotted <3 <3

heehee hoohoo i am rotating the entirety of hatchetfield in my brain

im updating this as i think of more stuff so bear with me if this gets stupidly long

richie has audhd. i know this because he is me i am him we are EACH OTHER /j

ruth and richie met in the anime section of barnes and noble in middle school and nearly screamed when they realized they were going to the same high school later on

steph is lactose intolerant and is not brave about it ever. tries to share a hot chocolate with pete and spends the next three hours miserable

grace is doomed to kill in every timeline but it can be prevented by her best friends keeping her too occupied with mundane nonsense for her to find a gun

richie has so much tboy cringe energy. that man kins sasuke you cannot tell me i'm wrong

i have hit them all with my transgender and gay beam >:3c they're the friend group that hit their gender and sexuality realizations in waves. someone's egg cracked first (richie) and it set off a chain reaction

pete is genderfluid and usually presents masc (he/they)

bi with no strong preference either way

only recently began to dabble with femininity in his gender presentation

steph is gnc transmasc (he/she, used interchangeably)

bi with a masc preference

no matter who you are, if you have a crush on steph, you're gay. them's the rules pal

richie is transmasc (he/it)

aroace spectrum! he's demi on both ends, fluctuates pretty often.

somehow incredibly perceptive to romance unless it directly involves him, then he's as dense as a brick

ruth is a girlthing because she's swag like that (she/it/they)

pan with a fem preference

her preferred type is pathetic mascs and intimidating fems

grace is fem-presenting nonbinary (she/they)

formerly closeted lesbian

had the WORST case of comphet until she realized she didn't necessarily have to be attracted to MEN to be attracted to masculinity :3

max is transfem (she/he)

she's a butch lesbian!!! she doesn't feel pressured to be hyper-feminine after realizing she's trans, because she's already pretty happy with her outward presentation

saw all her new friends going through their various gender and sexuality realizations and is just "i hope this doesn't awaken anything in me :)" (it did)

OH also paul is richie's uncle! richie's dad is paul's older brother. they don't interact much but it is literally Autism to Autism

if the group were to fall victim to any of the Lords in Black, it'd probably be as follows:

max - wiggly. rage hatred biting nightmare nightmare >:3

steph - nibbly. he's got the closest ties to the CotSC and also we need more nibbly rep

pete - tinky. duh. probs gets trapped in the box in timelines where steph dies before him and he desperately wants to bring her back

richie - blinky. idk it's just vibes to me. he seems like the kind of guy to go nuts for eye symbolism

ruth - pokey. she's a theater kid and i think that pokey would have a field day shoving her into the fucked up and evil spotlight

grace - all of them. they take turns babysitting her in various timelines. she is their favorite child

richie 100% uses anime terminology to describe normal ass situations. he calls steph a tsundere once and steph has to act like her world wasn't just shifted two inches to the left for the rest of the day

oh also in redemption timelines they have movie / bingewatch nights!! they cycle between everyone's favorite shows or films. it's the best part of their week every single time

max was cast as a leading role the one and only time she ever auditioned for theater and it freaked her out so much that she declined the role

richie's hair is Like That because he tried to get the cool anime spiky hairstyle to work for him (it didn't) (he doesn't realize this until college)

pete was a greek mythology girlie i just know this. something about him screams "i read percy jackson way too much as a kid"

also grace hand embroiders all her clothes as a hobby! (this is semi-canon, since she has embroidered strawberries on the cuffs of her jeans in the show)

the first time steph smoked ouid, he made the mistake of using cbd oil and a pipe at the same time. man was in SPACE

all of them are poly with each other but at different levels:

steph and pete are Dating dating. so are max and grace. wholesome yaoi VS toxic yuri

ruth and steph are almost definitely "best friends" in the historical sense

richie and ruth are qpp. if they were both 100% straight they'd probably be the most annoying couple in the world

pete and richie kiss sometimes but its genuinely platonic for them. just bros being bros

ruth and pete are friends to ??? to lovers to friends who cuddle sometimes

richie and steph are polar opposites but they love each other to death. black cat and orange cat kind of relationship

max and grace barely intersect with the nerds but they still consider all four of them to be part of their weird situationship

(grace definitely experimented with all four of them, with max's permission. just to be Sure. y'know.)

max is doing her best to make amends with the nerds but it is very slow going. she has gotten to casual fistbump level with them though!

the nerds usually just look at max and grace from the sidelines like they're watching two wild beasts circling each other in their enclosure. their flirting is NOT rated pg

richie unintentionally dropped the fact that he has a fursuit - a timberwolf, because i'm projecting - and ended up helping everyone design their fursonas. pete is a traditional chimera (goat, snake, and lion), steph is a plain black cat, ruth is a flemish giant rabbit (she did research), grace is a sheep, and max is a checkered-tail nighthawk.

any time that the group gets spam calls, all they have to do is hand the phone to ruth and they get taken off the lists the moment she speaks. ruth was frustrated by it at first but it became a game of "how many companies can i inconvenience before they stop calling hatchetfield numbers entirely"

steph braided pete's hair once and he damn near proposed on the spot

ruth knows how to sew (from doing tech) and helps teach max how to mend her clothes! max ends up being really good at it! she goes on to teach the entire football team how to fix their uniforms and ruth ends up being the honorary team favorite for at least a year

im taking jon matteson's "richie should have blue hair in a movie version of NPMD" and fucking sprinting with it. he dyes his hair at least once a year and it's a wildly different color every time

ruth is the kind of gal to love games with lots of violence because it makes her feel like a badass vigilante (she can barely do a push-up in real life) (just like me)

steph is deeply afraid of large bodies of water. major L on his part seeing as he lives on a fucking island

bouncing off of the above hc, pete's afraid of planes. these two can't travel out of hatchetfield without one of them nearly shaking out of their own skin

max doesn't actually like football that much. she's REALLY good at it, yeah, but she'd prefer to play most other sports even if she isn't good at them! she likes the challenge of doing something she won't automatically win!

grace probably writes lists of things to keep everything in order. she's got lists of all her favorite foods, a checklist of daily chores, etc etc (it's also because she's got undiagnosed autism and she functions better when she has a Routine)

no matter what, pete will always stop and talk to the homeless man downtown. he doesn't really know why, though. (ted wishes he could say something to pete, but he never does. best to keep him at arms length.)

ruth really really really reeaaaally wants to cosplay but she's nervous that she'll be deemed as the "cringy weirdo" by other con-goers. she eventually admits this to richie, who rallies the group into a group cosplay for moral support

it takes a lot of debate for them to find a fandom they all want to cosplay from. they settled on FNAF, specifically security breach bc it's Timely (they go to the con in 2022)

pete is glamrock freddy, steph is monty, ruth is glamrock chica, and max is roxy!

richie was glamrock bonnie and he gets so mad when the official design comes out a year later bc it was completely different than what he imagined

grace eventually agrees to dress up as vanessa (she never played the games) (she thinks the pizzaplex is a real animatronic mall) (everyone they meet thinks she's method acting)

they end up crashing at ruth's place absolutely DRAINED. they all have imprints on their arms from carrying around an absurd amount of merch. pete nearly started a fistfight in the parking lot with a bakugo cosplayer. max nearly finished it.

they all agreed that it was one of the best things they've ever done and also to Never Do It Again

richie had a brief phase where he was obsessed with black butler and he regrets it to this day

grace and max both have scary dog energy but in different directions. max (post-transition) looks really intimidating at first glance but she's got golden retriever energy. grace will stare at you with the scariest fucking eyes if you're mean to retail employees

steph has always wanted a pet, but her dad never allowed it. when he moves out and gets an apartment with the nerds, they all agree to rescue a pair of bonded cats for his birthday. steph doesn't stop crying for at least an hour

steph and pete named one of the cats, while ruth and richie picked the other one's name.

Mittens is the Lautski baby, a black and white girlie who is incapable of mischief. she's like the disney ideal of a cat. she's a cuddle monster and will be so sad if you have to get up and do things without her

ruth and richie are the proud coparents of Sir Jotaro Gooberton (the Third). he is the most stupid tabby you will ever meet in your life and he has made the crime rate in the household go up tenfold.

a very common Lautski date night is going to the candle section of walmart and just sniffing every single one of those bad boys until they get a headache

[tacagen]

please please lets talk about how barry and hunter percieve thawne and his relationship with barry. like im sure barry had no idea of thawnes crush on him (along with what even was his motivation in general before rs) like up until 'the only time' confession and him calling thawne pathetic for that is his live reaction to this realization under the influence of negative speed force. and we KNOW he knows at the very least after that because of these mfs!!!

they are fear constructs and they are based on barrys fears!!! THEY ACT EVEN FUCKING GAYER AND CREEPIER THAN THE ORIGINAL ONE!!!

and barry oh poor sweet barry. he had no idea that this!

was thawne meaning time with barry and barry alone! and barry didnt fucking see that! barry related to these words because they reminded him of his parents and naturally he supports The 25th Century Flash! AND THAWNE HEARS THAT 'I UNDERSTAND' AND THINKS THAT BARRY UNDERSTOOD EXACTLY WHAT HE MEANT!! THAT BARRY FEELS THE VERY SAME FOR HIM!!! JUST LIKE HE IMAGINED ALL THESE YEARS!!! AND NEVER QUESTIONS THAT CONCLUSION!!! AND LATER CALLS BARRY A LIAR FOR THAT!!! FOR NEVER FEELING THE SAME DESIRE TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER WHICH BARRY NEVER ACTUALLY IMPLIED!!!!

and what about hunter? oh he saw the events of running scared alright. and more, he has an unlimited access to the info about thawne, both personal experience and flash museum archives. he relates to him, he finds fucking comfort in him and his story. he is just like me fr! thawne is his poor little meow meow too and hunter takes it so much more serious than i do due to percieving him as Tragedy Personified!

in fact thawnes death in running scared fucks him up so badly he gives up his ideals and beliefs about flashes in favor of 'they are unfixable and deserve only to suffer'. besides, hes a profiler, he studied psychiatry. like, that guy should understand thawnes character deeply, right?

..............

hunter. hunter my sweet summer child i dont know how to tell you. this is SO not the reason thawne kept it.

he is the BIGGEST (and the only) fan thawne ever had. he knows about him SO MUCH and yet he straight up cannot figure out the most obvious thing about him because he PROJECTS HIS OWN ISSUES AND BELIEFS ABOUT FLASHES ONTO HIM AND REFUSES TO THINK FURTHER. yall im fucking crying. no comments.

THE CLOSET IS GLASS AND NO ONE FUCKING SEES THROUGH AND I AM PERFECTLY NORMAL ABOUT IT!!!!!!

[dittolicous]

"caleb wasnt a good guy cuz he LEFT his itty bitty brother" "caleb indoctrinated philip into the murder cult then dipped so hes just as bad" "caleb wasnt good cuz he was a witch hunter too" "philip had to survive all alone in the human/demon realm to find caleb!" "caleb made philip this bad!"

holy fuck belos apologists shut up challenge

1) caleb was JUST AS MUCH of a child as philip left in an impossible situation, saying he was 'bad' for leaving philip is basically victim shaming him because his only options were a) stay in a place he hates doing something he hated or b) risk alienating philip by move to the demon realm with a person who made him happy.

theres also no evidence to suggest he just left without a word or kept philip out of the loop. for all we know he did try to change philips mind! all we have to go on is belos's VERY biased memories and a folk-lore retelling of bare details. and seeing how evelyns name is still remembered, along with the numerous rebus found in gravesfield, their friendship/courting went on for a while, a good chunk of which im betting philip WAS in the know. at the very least, he knew evelyn as well as a human amd that something was going on.

im also pretty sure caleb didnt even leave the human realm for the last time until philip was at least in his teens if we go by hair length (hair in a ponytail = teenaged to adult)

2) philip was his own damn person and you can only take 'his brother abandoned him' so far. there was likely only 2-3 years between the two brothers ages, caleb was just as likely to be impressionable amd shaped by society. but by all rights, he chose to change. philip on the other hand, for over 300 years, killed countless witches and grimwalkers, justifying it via bigotry.

and dont come at me about caleb not giving him a chance or w/e, because we see in the memories that caleb embraced and tried to reach philip MULTIPLE times before being murdered by him.

caleb leaving philip does not justify any of belos's actions. not a single one.

society failed them both, creating a toxic environment that warped their views of what was right and what was wrong. both boys made mistakes.

the difference is that caleb recognized they were wrong and chose to leave that environment when he finally got the chance.

philip refused to accept being wrong.

what exactly should caleb have done? was his misery in the human realm unimportant? was he to sacrifice his own happiness so philip could have what he wanted? he was a victim too! he was a child just as much as philip! but because he was the older brother, he didn’t deserve a better life? he'd always have to bend to philip's desires?

caleb did NOT 'make' belos. caleb did not turn philip evil. PHILIP chose to kill, to not give the demon realm a chance. philip chose to kill his brother and make grimwalkers. trying to pass off these choices onto caleb is honestly pathetic and actively missing the true tragedy of belos's character.

he could have had a good life with his brother, he could of found happiness outside of witch hunting! but he was so unable to accept being WRONG in any shape or form, to acknowledge his own inability to see calebs suffering for what it was, that only PHILIP'S happiness mattered, that he chased caleb away.

philip is not innocent, nor is caleb. their story is a tragedy. stop acting like he is to blame for belos's actions. really, putting all the blame onto caleb and not the society that left two orphaned children thinking witch hunting was the only way to survive is. fucking bananas.

like.... you do realize that's exactly the kind of manipulation tactic belos would try to pull, right?